#idk. just tired and there’s build up
Text
i think you guys do forget i haven’t actually seen the show
#timothy's txts.#timgate#yeah i’ve been entrenched in the fandom for five years and yes this has given me a lot of information on the show#but in the specifically destiel side of the fandom there is only so much posting about xyz and it’s a long show!#i only learned about emma this year#so while i do know of the racism in the show it’s only secondhand knowledge. and while i do know about certain plot lines. ITS ONLY#SECONDHAND KNOWLEDGE. i *can’t* offer more nuance and i can’t add to the discussion#i dislike a character because someone i followed first hated that character or i like a character because i read a good fic with them in it#like. i don’t want to be condemned or condescended to because i haven’t seen the show after five years#but i also want people acknowledging that maybe the reason i only post about dean and cas and sometimes sam and/or eileen… is because that’s#the only stuff i trust myself to know enough about??#i literally barely got the courage to post a fic for spn the first time a few months ago because i was finally tired of being so scared if i#got the characteristics and details right#you know. in a fic. a FICTIONAL STORY BASED ON MORE FICTION#idk man. i just want to be clear that i’m not gonna weigh in on characters i don’t know or plots i’ve never even heard about#because that’s a great way to stick my foot in my mouth#idk can’t you just respect that i do have my own opinions and this means liking certain characters and NOT liking certain characters????????#tw caps#idk. just tired and there’s build up#i don’t even know what i’m trying to say#i’m probably mostly upset because i feel like i’m constantly missing things or having them go over my head#and it makes me feel stupid for not understanding and then having people be. whatever. i just feel stupid and it makes me pissy#something *i* can work on#but also if you guys can remember i haven’t seen the show. have some patience with me about ‘not knowing the time sam ate a fifty pound#watermelon in order to trick a vampire into letting a seventy year old woman with green hair go free’ or whatever#as i said i have no idea what i’m trying to say. i’m just very tired and stressed right now and. idk. IDK!!!
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
…i just saw this poll and my unevolved brain gel wriggled inside my cranium like a feral fish:
idk how you look at his official art and call him conventionally attractive. my man looks like a wet dog and has eyebags for daysss. face full of pox scars, skin pale af, and those shaggy ass hair & a rugged beard hanging from his flat long face.
he is pretty *to me* but like dude???
—not exactly a heartthrob boy band material is he?
obv I wouldn’t call him “misunderstood baby uwu” if we are talking a little more seriously —but to be fair jean is having possibly the worst week of his life. the car? fucking sunk. case? unsolved. not to mention his close partner (who is also an ass mind you) doesn’t even remember him, already running around with a new one.
yeah he is absolutely foul and aggressive and degrading harry but like i said before (in my tag essay lol) judit also makes ableist comments and i don’t see people hating her because she’s outwardly nice—
and respects harry as her superior. her BOSS.
(also a friend with benefits? /nope, it’s just him harassing judit/ as well but not as a complicated relationship compared jean and harry’s brötherbund. only a few months of acquaintanceship.)
plus it’s highhlyyy likely that harry is not the only one substance abuse. —look at jean’s rudolf-looking-red-ass-nose. a drunkard’s sniffers. probably had few lines with him late at night… when your lifetime partner is an alcoholic it's hard to say no.
about the left for dead thing, they left because harry told them to fuck off. tbh harry is nightmare to work with esp pre-bender. (and am saying as a pathetic little unmedicated neurodivergent woman.)
but when the second time they left revachol was not jean’s fault, and it was judit’s suggestion anyway. the squad probably thought that since harry had someone a little more responsible looking after him. it will be fine when they come back. the tribunal was absolutely unaccounted for.
yet despite all of these things, he will try to come back to make sure he is ok and accommodate harrier to the best of his abilities which is wearing very thin. look at him trying to make up to our harry boy:
anyways am incapable of writing coherent thoughts (even though i want to talk about it for hours) that make sense so go look at sygneth’s jean psychological analysis instead. it is an excellent read. please go read.
#op might wanna get their eyes or head checked lol. they looked at a little too much fanart.#+do not interact with the original poll. don’t look it up. it’s not worth it. don't give it traction. don't attract drama.#am sure op is just a troll. prob barely spent any time playin/readin DE. not that i am that much media literate but still...#i am sure there are things i left out. oh well...#i know that you need high EDC build run or lotta reading to understand so his “lore” so is kinda gatekept--#but it’s frustrating to see shit takes like this lmaoo#also don’t get me wrong i like judit. she is a tired working woman w/ a pathetic husband + 2x children. she just wanna grab jean & go home.#p.s stella as in stella from ‘‘helluva boss’’. idk didn’t like its S2 i think she coulda been more complex character.#but not everything needs to be deep and meaningful i guess. simple villains are ok.#her anger is justified towards her husband’s infidelity but she’s kind of a dumb royal brat. esp in s2. just calls of his assassination rig#heron vs secretary#angry bird vs angry bird shit fr beuh#disco elysium#jean vicquemare#jean posting#jean heron vicquemare#loyal is the he…#no. am not tagging HB or stella.#kinda long#longish post#cryptid rambles
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have lies of p and ff 16 installed and ready to go so i can do something mildly enjoyable my last few days before the school/work death spiral starts up again and instead i'm just sitting here refreshing Webbed Sites and watching nothing interesting appear like
#quite predictably i did in fact get sick at the 3 day long work training held during a massive covid/flu surge#i was masked except for meal/photo times and am up to date on vaccinations tho so thankfully it's just a mild cold#but i'm just sort of tired and unable to focus on anything#honestly tho they could have easily done all those presentations over Teams and been done a lot earlier :/#the weather was really bad the first couple of days too and i know a lot of commuters would have really appreciated doing it virtually#but i guess that wouldn't have let us do all our ~fun~ icebreaker and ~team building activities~!#idk Employer Mandated Socializing and Fun Times just inherently irritate me on a cellular level#tell me how you want a job done and then let me go do it#having us write a group poem about our department for arbitrary points accomplishes literally nothing but wasting all our time#kathryn vs higher education#assorted work nonsense
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes you just gotta slam out something quickly in like an hour at 2am to show off what you dreamt about during your nap
#art#zkretchy#ocs#i guess basically#tl;dr of this is#apocalypse happening-angels&demons helping to preserve humanity or ruin it depending on who you ask#this one is fun in particular bc it's basically overusing lucifers(ofc) powers while protecting a girl sent by angels#smth smth power balance#look idk it was like half an hour of sleep there isnt much time for world building lore#its just a fun concept and i wanted to draw turning into a more fucked up creature to protect someone#i am still tired so you go get into symbolism or whatnot if you want to#i will now sleep#bc i need to open the store in...less than 5hours oh joy#anyhow first art of 2024 lessgo~
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just watched Fury from the Deep and I love Victoria's exit so much it breaks my heart. She's so worn down by their travels always ending up full of danger and death and her always being put in the position of damsel in distress. She really doesn't want to leave jamie and the doctor but she doesn't want that life and I love that it let's her make that choice. And I love that Jamie's concerned she won't be happy living in, what is to them, the future but she acknowledges she's changed too much to go back to Victorian England, and she's highly unlikely to get back there anyway, not without more death and danger. That the doctor changes his mind about slipping away in the night and agrees to stay another day so Victoria can think about her decision properly without feeling as pressured. The fact that she knows the doctor won't say a proper goodbye because that's his way. The way she stands on the beach watching them row out to the tardis, knowing she'll never see either of them again. The fact she doesn't go back to the tardis with them to collect her belongings. Jamie's "I don't care where we go next" because he's miserable that Victoria made that decision. The Doctor's "I was fond of her too, you know" which is the closest he'll get to admitting how much he cares about them all. I just love it
#i just have so many thoughts about her#i love that the story builds to her exit with her saying shes tired of being frightened and asking why they never end up anywhere nice#her exit's similar to tegans in that theyre both worn out and sick of it but i love where tegans exit is impulsive#and very much in the heat of the moment#you see victoria considering it throughout the episode even though she cant bring herself to say it to jamie and the doctor#and yeah i just love that we get to see the travelling take its toll bc when you get down to it she is just a kid who never signed up#for any of this#and where new who companions get breaks between adventures and have lives outside the doctor#classic who companions dont get any of that by virtue of the 'the doctor cant control the tardis' so the doctor and his lifestyle is all#they have#and it goes even more so for victoria bc shes one of the orphaned companions who has nowhere to go back to#(sidenote i was thinking the other day about how many classic companions have nowhere they want to go back to particularly with 1 2 and 5#which fits with the whole 'cant control the tardis so they cant ever go back so we better make companions who dont want to'#idk i just love that so many of the classic exits are companions finding a new home/realising they can do good in this new place#like they can never go back to their old home and they end up with their temporary tardis family until they find somewhere new to call home#and ik we rarely see the outcomes of these decisions so we dont know if they were the right ones but still)#anyway this was about victoria#in conclusion: i love her and her exit#doctor who#victoria waterfield#jamie mccrimmon#second doctor
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
it seems people are already upset that tsumiki is not nice anymore, sorry you dont know her like i do
#cmon. cmon. she has every right to be violent#idk if i trust gege to allow her to be angry (which she also has every right to be?? her life has constantly been people pushing her away#and forgetting about her and her constantly being nice) but if she was nice even now it would literally make zero sense#thats not character development. its not even giving her character. its just megumi's perspective being right that shes some kind of saint#which is sooooooo boring like why would she be nice. i think she should be tired of being nice. i think she should go apeshit. as a treat#and there was so much build up about the curse put on her. making it just some thing like oh shes a sorcerer but shes not gonna do anything#about it because shes so good IS SO BORING#and really it would be unrealistic if she didnt harbor at least some negative feelings i mean megumi was always kind of an asshole right up#until she got cursed and im assuming gojo didnt pay much attention to her as he did megumi. and her mom left her for some shitty dude#why would she not be mad?? just getting stuck being a little angel after all that just makes my skin crawl#and if megumi only really considered apologizing after she got cursed i doubt he really did a lot for her when she wasnt.#so i absolutely think she should be allowed to kill people it would be a disservice if she wasnt and was just again boiled down to the#saintly girl older sister image megumi seems to have of her. so boring#or maybe its just me being an angry sister who has to be nice. but i dont really think it is#tsumiki fushiguro#jjk 211#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk#aricouldyounot#oh and before anyone misinterprets i know megumi had some psychology going on as a kid. doesnt mean tsumiki didnt either#or that she has to be so understanding all the time and not consider her own feelings. so boring. so shitty#it mightve sounded like a joking tone when i said she should go apeshit. but i was 100% serious#anyway yeah thats it
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
so tired of the 'they didn't show us every single tiny little detail unfolding in this story so I don't find it believable' take like... part of watching a story unfold is connecting dots between scenes and picking up on the general narrative and actually engaging logically with what you're watching not just letting colors flash before your eyes
#this is both abt something specific and just very broadly also cause my GOD#are the tags of ANY show on earth full of these ppl#I don't buy this we don't see tons of x thing happening so I don't see the build up#are you aware not every element of a story is supposed to be The Big Thing#and that often creators are expecting the audience to follow along logically with the story/plot#sometimes you are supposed to pick up on subtleties and even use deduction to figure out minor logistics of a story#and yeah sometimes just make assumptions where it may be appropriate#I'm so tired of this 'every detail MUST be explained for this to enjoyable' crowd like fuck man#like idk I'm not explaining this well but it's just UGHH exhausting. not everything must be explicitly stated in a story to be understood#ESP on tv or in movies like omg#erin explains it all
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
“I’ll be fine i just need to uhhhhhhh idk kill” but like…what if i did haha
#my stuff#dear diary and the several thousand mfs who can see it. Despite arguably good academic performance today feels like a bad day#bc i skipped lab to take a nap#and i feel lonely and incapable of connecting more than superficially with my classmates#like i can talk to them and i do and we get along well but i never…hang out w em#or at least not as much as they seem to without me#it’s not a malicious thing i think a huge part of it is groups of ppl living or working in the same space#and i’m in a different lab building than a lot of ppl#idk…struggling to find anything that sparks joy. unable to see the future with optimism#it’s just day after day of Job where i’ll beat myself up on weekends if i don’t do Even More Work#bc that’s the nature of grad school. always homework or literature review to do like i give a shit abt the latter#i don’t care what other people are doing i don’t wanna obsessively comb through journals to make sure i’m doing Brand New Shit#i want it to stop#i don’t want to read anymore. i don’t wanna have to worry about my job outside of work.#i want to cry and scream and#like i don’t wanna quit after i worked so hard to get here#i don’t wanna wuss out#but i’m always tired. i’m never rested or relaxed or truly enjoying myself#why is this only hard for me…how tf is everyone else able to read and remember and understand this much??#like yeah maybe i should be on adhd meds but those are fuckin spensive and a pain in the ass to get#i’m tired of being tough#i want to curl into a ball and be told it’s going to be okay and that i can rest and have it not be a lie or a half measure
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wish people who write lotr fanfic didn’t inevitably end up writing low key constant emotional abuse to their blorbo.
#kicking a hornets nest here#but I’ll start reading something lighthearted and wonder I start feeling more and more uncomfortable the further in I get#the Peter jacksonification and what I suspect are culturally W.A.S.P ppl writing fic#without having read the books or. rely on period dramas for world building#idk it just ends up creating what feels like something deeply insidious masqarading as some teen fixit fic where everybody lives#and then I feel insane and overly sensitive for wanting half the shire Gandalf thranduil and 2/3ds the dwarves & bilbo to kill them selves#bc I cannot fathom how a any fuckjng says that b why would let someone say or do something like that to you#and then I realize it’s. it’s the same reylo#it’s the same 50 shades of grey mentality type stuff#I hate to assume anything about anyone’s identity over one fic. but be fr. either you genuinely believe this is normal or you’re writing#you’re writing it for plot reasons. and like. that’s how you advance the plot? I’d rather read dead dove at this point.#fuck it everyone dies.#talking tag#this is obv. a massive generalization. gods know I beat the hell out of my blorbos#but I am tired. the horse is dead and you’ve beaten it so much it’s glue and fish is toothpaste.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
my (first!!) pc is built 😭 this was a task and a half and also very very scary lmao. I was SO worried I was gonna break shit and even now that its built and very much so up and running and ok im like... worried its about to break lmao (like its unfounded! but im still like. oh god its going to brick itself at any second). I'm yet to properly test it out with bg3, but it is running my silly cozy little mmos wonderfully. I also now feel like I need to sleep forever after getting this done lmao.
bonus:
as you can see I am exclusively using top of the line Pro Gamer peripherals, such as this keeb from 1998. this keyboard is older than me.
#im fucking. sleepy tired man what a day#my monitor is old also. but tbh theyre both pretty good quality its just like. their aesthetic is lacking which#id rather use old free shit that works well yanno? than pay for aesthetic junk idk#thats the same reason theres no lights in my case like. idk i dont care enough to spend money on that#but im. happy. and nervous. about this. if it breaks or if it turns out that i fucked something up... i will have a cat 5 menty b#i can tell u that much#hell today building it i was like. trying so hard to not have a panic attack sjshshdh#but yeah im happy af to have this like... done. ready to rock n roll#my post
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
yesterday sucked so bad it was the longest day ever I cried at work and I slept like a rock bc I was so exhausted and then today I woke up and it was literally like. the sun is shining the birds are chirping it feels like fall I made birthday plans with my best friend for march that I'm so excited for the thing that was stressing me out so bad yesterday at work is fixed and over with and everybody is telling me I did well with it even though it felt like I did not in the moment AND I my adoption application was accepted at one of the shelters I applied to so I got invited to their adoption event to meet their dogs tomorrow AND I'm seeing hozier in a week and two days and that does not feel real but also it actually hit for properly for the first time today :) how the tables have turned oh and ALSO I'm watching a horror movie with emma tonight and last night I think it would have killed me bc I was so tired and empty by the time I got home but today I am Hyped for it
#i'm good at my job and usually the stuff I'm doing doesn't get to me but yesterday TWO solutions to the problem I've been dealing w all week#didn't end up being solutions at all bc first year college students suck so bad. and by the time the second one didn't go through#we'd told the student affected that it HAD so we had to walk it back#and i'm on call 24/7 this week so I was so so tired yesterday#and i just wanted to make fix this poor girl's problem and to have to tell her I'd been wrong when I told her it had been fixed....idk#it got to me and i cried which at least finally convinced my supervisor that what id been saying from the beginning was the correct move#and then i fell asleep pretty early and overslept on purpose bc fuck being in the office I needed to recover#and then i helped move a minifridge with a microwave attached to the top up and down four flights of stairs#bc this campus is possibly the least ada compliant space I have Ever been in in my life#and there are NO elevators in any residential buildings except the one that used to be a hotel down the street#anyway. life update ig <3 things are genuinely so so good rn yesterday was Simply a bad day. happens sometimes. glad it's over :)#real life stuff#i should have a tag for that so I can go through once in a while and see what was up when :)
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#personal#im so fucking sick of people#like i try to go out and do stuff and talk to people but when i try i js feel like people are mocking me#like yesterday i was returning a flare tights that i bought online and i usually hateee returning stuff#but i went to the physical store to return it and the woman at the register was so meannn#like i have curly long hair and it sheds more than ”normal“ hair ig and there was ONE strand of hair on the tights and she plucked it off#like slow and dramatic and looked at me with disgust#and then she held the pants up and there was like a piece of cotton or whatever its called on it and she plucked it off and she looked so#disgusted and she js talked to me in the worst tone but i finally got it returned#and there were so many people in line behind me#i just wanted to cry#and another thing#i hate going outside where i live bc my friend knows someone who lives in the building next to mine and that friend is like oddly obsessed#with me for some reason#and shes literally filmed me one time when i was on the same bus as her and sent it to my friend#and my friend thought it was hilarous#and my friend has only told me about her filming me once so idk if shes done it other times#but its so fucking uncomfortable and i already struggle sm with paranoia and feeling like im being watched#i just wanna isolate myself and hide from everyone im so fucking tired
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I fucking hate confrontation with a burning passion omg >:(
#like I don’t want it to build into resentment#but confronting someone is so fucking scary#bc I already know I might cry and they’re gonna call me too sensitive#and then my feelings are gonna be invalidated and dismissed#and it’s like why even work myself up confronting them when it’s gonna be the same as before??#idk I’m just not in a good place right now and I’m really struggling and I don’t have anyone to talk to#I just wanted to vent bc!!!!!! I’m tired of being made to feel like this!!!!!#and I feel like Iif I don’t let it out then I’ll explode#ugh I’m so tired and my eyes are so swollen from crying#I just wanna lay down man I don’t feel like doing any work today#this fucking sucks#—in store chit chat! 🍫#tw: vent
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#ooc;;{tori speaks}#(( i wish i could write again i do ))#(( but i also like to build a rapport with people ))#(( and most of my interactions with people are just hey how are u this sounds cool and then silence ))#(( even when i try to keep up conversations ))#(( idk i just got tired of it and keep a 'why bother' mindset ))#(( it saps my motivation ))
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
like not to be crazy but life yesterday for me was just wake up 9am class sit edit (see film friends briefly so yippee yay) oh my god thank god the little bit of time i sat outside in the sun but then class till 5pm walk to store w sam for their shit to be way too pricey to be worth it lmao um not even get on bus till 5:45 call parents around 6:45 dont get off phone with dad till after 8:30. um. watch tv with lydia for a little bit smoke make a shitty little dinner bed. idk typing it out it's like oh thats not So bad i had at least a few chill moments. kind of. it still feels bleak though anyone else
#and well yes i had to sit for a while and wait for lydia for the bus#bc i happened to see sam's roommate and two others of that friend group sitting right out front of yk#the building i work at and near the bus stop. and i was just like. oh jesus Christ. i cant do seeing people today esp not 3v1#and sunday i had the most painfully entangled physically awkward run in with this girl who is also friends w them. whom i met that one#rlly weird night but we didnt even really meet we were just in each others vicinity enough to make eye contact and be like um hi ig yk#anyway tiny br and my bookbag is like a foot and a half deep rn so i went to hang it up and wash my hands and the straps get all messed#up w hers and i walk over to be like omg im so sorry but she has headphones on as do i but i thought she at least saw me grab my bag#and put it on and then i opened the door for her bc i literally did not have room i would have run into her and she still managed to#like squished cause its cramped and almost smack the door/me again and i was just so fucking tired and gross after work like girl i am not#a person rn... yk.... anyways. none of that really mattered but it's stuff that happened in the periphery of like life idk#abby talks#i need enrichment so bad. but preceded and followed by so much rest
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have classes again! (i do not know if this is good or not yet) so i will not be able to draw as often. that or i will be drawing extra as a way to procrastinate working on assignments
#ughhhhh i hate transitioning from no classes to classes again this shit sucks#i love being in class but it takes a while before my brain can get used to being in school mode#i wish they just never gave me breaks i would like that a whole lot better#i'm also having a crisis thinking about changing my major#but idk if that's because i actually want to or if i'm just v uncomfortable rn at the thought of having to learn how to be in school again#at the very least i get to go to class looking great today#yesterday i got my hair dyed so now it's neon red orange and yellow#someone told me i look like someone was making their first OC and they had fire powers#another told me i looked like sunset shimmer from mlp#at the very least i look rad as hell and it will make up for whatever horrible thing i end up doing wrong today#i really should've tried to take a class with a prof i'm familiar with but nooooo i waited too long to choose classes#and now i'm stuck with people i don't know who are going to say words to me when all i want is to not say a single word all day long#also i had to wake up at 5:30 today and will probably have to again bc i don't drive so i carpool and they have to work early as fuck#and now i'm on campus and also locked out of the buildings because i can't get the ID scanner to work and the buildings don't unlock yet#at least the feral cats keep me company in these trying times#and waking up early means that i'm just tired enough to not give a fuck anymore so at least i'm not sobbing on the floor (yet)#i'll probably try to save that for after classes end#though i'm feeling strangely okay today which i think might just be the grace period between transitions where i get to act like a human#before i freak out later#or maybe i just missed being in class enough to beat the bad vibes out of me? (probably not but i can hope)#i'm just saying words at this point but that's okay#i'm sure i'm interesting enough for everyone to love hearing about my morning#in which case i want everyone to know that i got the stupidest jacket from the thrift store a while back#and i am rocking it rn#every day i get up and get dressed i look in the mirror and see someone who would fit in better as an art student#but art doesn't make you money and i've lived in poverty too long to go with that#but if i'm stuffed somewhere where i have to have natural hair color and boring clothes at an office job i will probably go batshit tbh#the goal is to be so valuable in whatever field i choose that i get to do whatever i please#like L#anyway i have said so many words
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
pastry-peaches
Everything's Not Peachy
terran-deco-blog
TERRAN DECO
pobadokepa
Untitled
savvpeaches
Savannah
sawelyart
Sawelyart