#i wish they just never gave me breaks i would like that a whole lot better

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i have classes again! (i do not know if this is good or not yet) so i will not be able to draw as often. that or i will be drawing extra as a way to procrastinate working on assignments

[explicit-tae]

Hey can you write a jk fic about a world where people can't express anything like they can't laugh,cry or feel any type of emotions and they don't know about these and then jk feels something after seeing oc like that ...

Actually I don't know how to tell you 😭😭

Since there's not really a lot to go off of, I just did what I could with what you gave me 😅 hopefully its similar to what you were intending to say 🫶🏽

Cosmic Balance

Every universal realm has a positive and negative - good or bad. Jungkook manages to cross the portal from his dystopian world to your utopian one and decides that he'd do anything to stay with you.

Word Count: 8.786

Warning: dystopian world, sex-work/brothel, protected/unprotected sex, mentions of cheating, kissing, virtual reality sex, nipple sucking, oral sex, riding, creampie, slight dirty talk, fingering,

Alternate Universe

“Just try it…” is all Jungkook can hear in his mind. His eyes flash to the large digital clock flashing outside his window - he was supposed to be asleep now, as was everyone in his world. “It’s a portal to a whole different world. Just make sure you’re back by 6 am.”

Jungkook’s hands tremble as he grasps the cover on his mirror. It’s one - of many - forbidden rules, completely unforgivable. He never questioned why all reflected areas should be covered as night came, but then again, it was a question that should never be answered.

Jungkook’s world is dark and dull - gray. He was raised upon these rules - he and millions of others. There were rules that were meant to be followed and going against them meant dire consequences - death always an option. 

Jungkook removes the cover quickly and swallows the lump in his throat. He stares at his reflection - the terrified look in his eyes and his heaving chest. He licks his lips, the thought of his breaking a forbidden rule has the hairs on his skin rising.

Jungkook looks closer at his reflection, his finger reaching out to touch. There’s a rippling effect in the reflection that when Jungkook touches, he visibly is horrified when his hand falls through the mirror.

Jungkook snatches himself away from the mirror and quickly covers the mirror with the cover once more. He falls onto his bed, heart thumping that they were right - his friends were correct. There was a whole different world besides the one he’s in now and the thought scares him.

Jungkook often wished that there was a different world he could live in. A world where there weren't strict rules for being excited - he could laugh freely in public when something was funny and not risk being arrested and fined.

Was there truly a world that allowed their people to be free - where the atmosphere was carefree and loving. Did the other world allow their people to laugh, smile - even cry - in public and not the confines of their own room. Did the other people only arrest those who were actually committing heinous crimes, and not because they were a minute late on curfew?

Did the other world allow their people to love and marry whoever they wanted? Jungkook thinks how in a few years at the age of 28 he would be married to whoever his government chose - based on status - and he would be expected to have a child no later than a year. Women who couldn’t bear children would be forced to be alone and provide for themselves. They were encouraged to be whores and work in brothels - “it’s not like you could bear a child anyways” is the harsh words the government would speak to them.

Men would oftentimes be ridiculed, losing job opportunities and their status in life lowering. 

Jungkook thinks how his life would be if he was in another world where he could love who he wants to and not who he was chosen to.

It’s what Jungkook thinks when he sees you, the same work attire as his. You were soon destined to marry someone else just like he was and he knows that he could never have you. There was always a possibility that you would be chosen for him - but Jungkook doesn’t allow himself to think about it. He isn’t an idiot and he understands that you were going to be taken away by some other man and married - and you’d have that man’s child instead.

Your eyes meet Jungkook’s for a moment and he glances away. He was staring again, he thinks. You’re a smart woman and you know how he feels for you and understands that he could never act upon them. You weren’t a barren woman - and a relationship - sexual or not - prior to marriage to an unbarren woman is one of many forbidden rules.

“Still looking at Y/N?” 

The seat beside Jungkook is taken by Taehyung. His friend opens the laptop and begins to type, continuing his work. He speaks in a low tone to not disturb the peace - doing so could lead to arrest.

“She could report you for harassment.” 

You could, Jungkook thinks. Women have reported men for harassment all the time - harrassment being even glancing their way if they didn’t appreciate the act. 

You could, but you never did.

“Have you gone to the brothel? Maybe you need to let off some steam.” Taehyung glances his way a bit, his typing not ceasing. “Staring at her isn’t going to make things easier.”

Jungkook doesn’t respond - because he knows Taehyung is correct. The last thing he did want was for you to report him for harassment. He could go to the brothel, sure, but there was no real connection there. He could fuck for as long as he desired, but there was no true connection to the women he was fucking nor did he ever know what these women looked like as their upper and lower body are separated. 

Sex shouldn’t be so quick nor easy - so one sided. Jungkook wants to know did these women feel the same as he did - even if it was a quick high. Did they enjoy the way he fucked them or did they want him to be slower - or faster, go deeper. 

“There you go,” Taehyung murmurs, his fingers typing fast. “in your head again. Did you do as we told you?”

Jungkook sends a e-document and shakes his head. “Freaked out.” he murmurs. 

Taehyung snorts quietly. “I knew you would.”

Jungkook sighs. “It isn’t that easy.”

“How so? You walk through the mirror during an in-between and make sure you’re back on time.” Taehyung shrugs. He glances at you for a moment, noticing how your eyes are upon them - mainly Jungkook. You appear to be surprised that Taehyung catches you and quickly, you turn away. 

“What are you afraid of?” Taehyung murmurs.

What was he afraid of?

There was a lot to be afraid of. He had never broken a forbidden rule before - uncovering a mirror after hours  was an unforgivable one, and now he understood why. There was a whole different universe out there that was seemingly different than his own - he wouldn’t know how to navigate it. His friends had told him stories that appeared to be just that, stories. Something fictional and unbelievable. 

Jungkook was afraid that if he went to this world, that he’d never want to return to his own.

Jungkook is disgusted with himself - disgusted in how he finds himself in the brothel.

Not only Jungkook - but many unmarried men starting at the age of 21-27. This was the only place where it didn’t matter how loud you were. You could scream, yell, curse - hell, cry. You can display any type of emotion inside the brothel.

The brothel had color and life to it - not the sad beige and gray of the outside world. It appeared to be like a dream - was this what the other world was like? Colorful? Cherry? Maybe that’s why his friend visited at night. It was like a vacation away from the reality in which they lived.

“Kook!”

As arm wraps around Jungkook’s shoulders. 

“Not surprised to see you here after the way you acted at work.” Taehyung says loudly, his natural state booming inside of the brothel. “You’re late. We have to all be gone in an hour.”

Jungkook knows this - he never intended on coming until the last minute. It feels like he’s doing the walk of shame coming inside the brothel, but no one cares. All of these men inside of here were looking to get away; to let off steam from the world they lived in.

“You look depressed.” Taehyung snorts. “You know we don’t judge here.”

“Exactly, Kook.” Jimin places a hand on his shoulder, seemingly appearing from thin air. “I think you should try virtual reality.”

Jungkook scoffs. “It’s bad enough I’m in here.” he murmurs.

“Tae told me the way you were looking at Y/N.”

Of course Taehyung did.

“She’s a fertile woman. Meaning she will be married off to whoever the government chooses as would you.”

Jimin was never the one to sugar coat anything. Jungkook could only respect it.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t pretend.” Taehyung slaps Jungkook's back. “I’ll pay for it.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “That’ll be expensive.” he says with a shake of his head.

Casual sex was free and paid by the government. At first it’s weird - surrounded by men who were all taking turns on fucking multiple girls in the wall that you couldn’t see. But after a while it got easier and Jungkook only was there to cum and go.

Virtual Reality, however, was not free. It costs to have a private room, a girl and the virtual contact lenses to alter reality. You could choose whatever reality you desired for a price - and Jungkook already felt shitty enough about coming here.

“You’re never going to have Y/N unless fate is on your side.” Jimin says. “And fate is on no one side in our world.”

Meaning, Jungkook had to give up on having you chosen as his partner; an act he already gave up on. 

“But just for an hour, you can pretend to be with her. It’ll feel good. I promise.”

Taehyung’s words ring through his ears. He’s done this before, Jungkook thinks. He only has a few months left until he’s set to be married, the woman he once wanted far from his reach.

“Okay.” Jungkook murmurs sullenly.

Jungkook is disgusted with himself already - and even more so. But he was a man and he couldn’t hide what desires he had for you.

All the desires he did have for you were taken out on the woman who’s name or face he did not know - he moaned for you. He called you pretty and beautiful and in his mind, he was fucking you.

Jungkook likes to think that in another world, he and you could be together. That you and he could talk freely without others speculating he was harassing you - a fertile unwed woman. But as of right now, he would pretend he was fucking you and not another woman in the brothel during virtual reality.

Jungkook’s eyes watch the way your face contort with pleasure as he fucks deep into you. There was only an hour until he had to leave and he took full advantage of it. He isn’t sure how many times he came, filling the condom he wore completely - but he never wants to stop. 

Jungkook doesn’t want this reality with you to end - even deep down he knows that this wasn’t real. Those weren’t your moans nor was it your reaction to him but it’s what he has to deal with to feel closer to you.

“Ah, look at you.” Jimin smirks as he eyes Jungkook exiting the room. His eyes are slightly red due to having to remove the contact lenses. “Feel better?”

No, Jungkook thinks, but he only nods his head. 

 ��What are you afraid of?”

Jungkook places a hand towards the mirror, his eyes widening as it begins to go through just as it did the night prior. He has to coach himself to do it - this was okay. He could do it - he could make it through the portal just fine.

As long as he was back before 6 am, he was good. No one would have to know that he was committing a crime that could be punishable by death. 

The portal sucks him in completely - it’s dark and cold. Jungkook’s mind races and he opens his mouth to scream, but he can’t. The feeling is as if he’s jumped from a high surface, gravity completely taking a toll on him.

Jungkook falls onto the ground with a thud, his hands not able to catch himself. He releases a low groan at the impact he’s faced crashing to the floor. He grumbles and pushes himself off of the ground. 

Jungkook’s eyes open and it’s then he realizes that he isn’t where he should be. This isn’t his room - even if it was nearly identical. The room had personality - not like the dull one he had back in his world. The ceiling was just as high as his back in his world but the bed is larger. He notices that the headboard - block - has a strange glow behind it and beneath the bed. It glows multiple colors that Jungkook finds fascinating. The large window - where outside displays a large digital clock for not only him, but for the surrounding homes to see - is covered by a long, dark curtain, blocking out the outside world. The closet is on the far right of the room and Jungkook’s curiosity peaks - his world, clothes weren’t expressive. They were bland and more of a uniform that most citizens wore.

Jungkook gasps, having strolled towards the closet and opened it. Even the clothes in this world had personality - different colors and textures. Long, short, tight or loose - it amazes him how people in this world could express themselves freely. 

“Does your girlfriend know you have me here?” a voice sounds from right outside the door that Jungkook leaps into the closet and hides, only sliding the door close a bit to see.

Jungkook is flabbergasted upon seeing himself - or, this new world version of him. Did this man have the same name as him, or was it just a look alike?

“Y/N’s not going to be here tonight.” Jungkook hears his voice and he stiffens. “She’s out with her friends.”

Y/N.

You.

You were in this universe, too. 

You and him - could Jungkook call this different version of this man “him”? Regardless, you and he were together.

You were his girlfriend in this universe.

And he was cheating on you - Jungkook wants to faint at the revelation alone that in this universe he had you. He had you - the person he wanted. There were no rules on sex outside of brothels here - nor did it appear that a government was controlling every aspect of life.

Jungkook had you in this universe - and he was cheating on you.

Jungkook couldn’t stay here any longer and watch himself be with another girl. He wouldn’t notice himself creeping out of the room - it's dimly lit and the only lights are that of the changing colorful ones. He’s slow with opening the door and closing it discreetly behind him.

The rest of the home is just as amazing as the bedroom - full of this version of him. There’s artwork displayed on the walls that catches Jungkook's eyes, but he doesn’t have the time to stop and appreciate it like he wants to because something else catches his eye. It’s in the hallway as he’s walking by.

A picture of you and him - together. You were smiling, arms wrapped firmly around him, your cheek pressed against his own. You looked beautiful; happy. He did, as well.

Jungkook touches the picture - were you different in this universe? Is this why he was cheating on you? There had to be a reason as to why this version of him would go against everything he wanted for one night with a woman when all he wanted was you.

Jungkook hears a muffled voice and his head snaps down the hall where his front door would be. He contemplates running, but he doesn’t. The door opens and his heart stops.

“Kookie.” you tilt your head and offer him a smile and then a confused look. “You’re still up?”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say and it’s like his breath was taken away. You’re in front of him - you’re speaking to him.

You called him Kookie.

Your clothes are something he’d never see you wear in his world. Your dress is dark and tightly fitted and it shows a great amount of cleavage. Your skin looks so smooth and soft and his hands tremble to feel it beneath his palm.

“Are you okay?” you take a step forward, your heels clicking against the floor. You reach out to touch his forehead and Jungkook knows now that he isn’t okay. “You don’t feel hot-”

“Y/N.” Jungkook says, and this is his moment. He touches your face fondly, thumb pressing itself against your lips. 

You snicker. “What’s gotten into you?” you ask. “I know I said I would be out all night but I wanted to come home to you.”

Jungkook releases a shaky breath at your words. You wanted to come home to him - but not him, your version of him. The same Jungkook that was cheating on you now and expecting not to see you.

Jungkook doesn’t want that for you - even if this was his last time seeing you in this world. He doesn’t want to be the reason for your pain. “Let’s go out together.”

“Together?” you knit your brows. “Dressed like that?”

Jungkook looks down at his own attire - basic black t-shirt and jeans that would only be acceptable for him to wear at home back in his world - but maybe in this one it was exactly that; basic. 

“I just want to be with you.” Jungkook murmurs truthfully and you smile - a bright smile that causes his heart to sink. He would have to go home eventually, and he wouldn’t be able to see it anymore. 

“Okay.” you nod slowly, taking his hand in yours. “You hungry? We can go to Late Night Slice.”

Jungkook is shocked to see how crowded the streets are. Back in his world, no one was allowed outside past 9 pm. Even during the day, citizens had to walk in a straight line, no more than three people standing side by side. 

It was past curfew but yet here everyone was. People were laughing, littering the streets without a care in the world. There was a melodic tune playing, something he’s never heard before. 

“You act like you’ve never heard music before.”

You say it as though you can read him, Jungkook thinks.  “Music…” he murmurs, trailing off. 

There wasn’t any music where Jungkook was from, and now he’s realizing that his world was Hell compared to this. It was night time but yet, everything was so bright. The laughter from everyone surrounding them, the music - the atmosphere in general. 

Jungkook feels his skin erupt with goosebumps.

“Come,” you yank him lightly to get his attention and you fully have it. You take him to a small shop where only a few people were inside. The smell makes Jungkook’s stomach rumble and his mouth salivate. “I ordered ahead already, so it should be done.”

Order ahead? Jungkook wants to ask what you meant, but he doesn’t want to appear any more dumb than he was when it came to you and this world.

“I can take that.” Jungkook says as you go to grab a large tray of pizza - it smells as delicious as it looks and Jungkook cannot fathom how someone can be open and cook amazingly this late at night. 

“I’ll go get our drinks.” you smile at him brightly that it nearly causes Jungkook to drop the tray of food. “Go find us a table, okay?”

“Yes.” Jungkook nods, licking his lips. He wants to hurt himself - not really. Hurt this version of him. As you and he sit here and eat as a couple, he was cheating on you with another woman - one not worthy of his attention. 

Jungkook finds a table farther from everyone else and sits down, placing the tray of pizza onto the table. He watches from afar as you come back with two drinks in your hands and his lifts form into a small smile.

“What’s funny?” you ask him as you sit down across from him, placing the drink in front of him. 

“I’m not laughing.” Jungkook knits his brows. “You just look very beautiful.”

Jungkooks cheeks are red as he speaks.

You’re taken aback by the compliment. “Ah, really?” you snort. “You only ever call me beautiful when you’re fucking me.”

Jungkook’s throat tightens at your words and his breath hitches. You can speak so freely in this world, he thinks. There doesn’t need to be a hidden conversation of whispers or hushed murmurs. “I-I…” he doesn’t know what to say. On one hand, the thought of him being with you outside of virtual reality has him excited - but the other part of him finds this version of himself highly selfish. He cannot think about only calling you beautiful when he is intimate with you - especially in a world in which he doesn’t have to hide his love. “...You’re very beautiful to me, Y/N. Even outside of…sex.”

You blink a few times, watching Jungkook intently. Slowly, you begin to smile. “Thank you.” you say softly. “I think you’re beautiful, as well, Kookie.” you say teasingly. “Now let’s eat!”

Jungkook never wants to go back to his world. He doesn’t want to leave you behind with the version of him that doesn’t love you. You and he eat and it mainly consists of you talking to him while he listens closely - he isn’t sure of what you are talking about. He isn’t from a world where “clubs” or “bars” are normal - but they seem fun. 

Jungkook takes a sip of the drink you gave him and he immediately coughs. 

“Kookie? You okay?” you rush to place a napkin in his hands.

“W-What is this?” Jungkook smells the clear drink and his eyes widen as it begins to fizzle.

“Sprite…?” you tilt your head. “Does it taste funny?”

Funny wasn’t the word - it tasted strong. He hasn’t tasted anything like this before, the taste feels as if it’s stabbing against his taste buds and fighting against his throat.

It was a weird taste that Jungkook liked.

Jungkook begins to chug the rest of the drink entirely, his body shuddering at the amazing taste. It brings a rush through him.

You watch wide eyed as Jungkook slams the cup down against the table and burp. He places a hand over his mouth at his crude actions. “Excuse-”

“You’re so cute, Kookie!” you laugh at his actions, a sweet melodic laugh that he wants to hear for the rest of his life.

Jungkook finds himself never wanting to leave you, but needing to each time he’s visited and coincidentally managing to not come face to face with himself while doing so.

The first time he had to go through the portal, there was a longing feeling holding him back - the euphoric sense that this new world was better. It was colorful and full of life - returning back to his world left him with deep sorrow. He was coming down from a serotonin high and he realized that each time he did so, he was growing more and more depressed.

But Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to care. He would go through the drop of serotonin if it meant he could see you every night - and each night he did. He would visit you, somehow managing to avoid himself, and have an amazing time with you in this Utopian world. Each night was something different - you took him to midnight festivals that played “music” - an amazing tune with people singing and dancing and it’s something you forced him to do with you.

And Jungkook loved it - he adored dancing with you. He enjoyed being carefree and not feeling judgmental eyes upon him. He tried different foods that his world would never allow, drinks that caused his taste buds to go crazy and such sweet snacks that at times would cause his teeth to hurt.

This utopian world was amazing and each time he would return home, he hated it. He was exhausted from the lack of sleep but wouldn’t stop from returning the next night because it was worth it to get away from his world and to see you.

On his 12th day of returning to the Utopian world, Jungkook isn’t alone. He hears screaming coming from further into the home. He ventures outside of the room stealthy to see what’s wrong - mainly because he hears your voice. It’s strained and filled with pain - as is your appearance when his eyes catch you. His heart drops when his eyes catch your face - you’re crying, a black streak streaming down your cheeks. It’s makeup he now knows, having watched you put on the products and astonished when it enhances your beauty even more.

“Where are you planning on going, Y/N?” Jungkook hears his voice say, his tone far too aggressive for his liking. “You live here. With me.”

“You had another woman in the same bed that I sleep in Jungkook.”

Jungkook sighs to himself, his heart falling once more. It was a matter of time until you found out, he thinks. It wasn’t something he wanted to happen for you - you were someone he loved, even if he wasn’t from this world. He wanted you to be happy and live an amazing life, even if it wasn’t with him but with the version of him that didn’t deserve you.

Jungkook watches you push him away with a huff when he tries to bring you closer to him.

“Fine.” Jungkook then shrugs with a scoff. “I’m leaving. If you want to pack everything and leave then you can. But I’m not forcing you to go.”

You snicker with a shake of your head at the audacity of Jungkook.

“You’re going to throw everything away because of one mistake?”

“Was it only once?” you ask him with folded arms. You’re waiting for him to respond to the question you know the answer to already. “Your silence tells me everything I need to know.”

You feel Jungkook’s eyes watch you storm away. He bites back a remark and instead decides to let you cool off. You weren’t going to leave him - where would you even go? You didn’t have anyone but him.

Jungkook watches himself leave out the front door, slamming it behind him as you’re making your way towards the bedroom. Jungkook saunters back inside the bedroom and hides inside the closet, a sense of deja vu coming through him.

You slam through the door and fall onto the large bed. You’re crying again and the sound makes Jungkook want to hurt this world's version of him.

An affair wasn’t allowed in his world and it’s a punishable offense. Of course, very few men loved their wives that they’re set upon and vice versa. Only few come to love one another - but it’s rare. He had to look at his own parents as evidence of this. As he and you would walk the busy streets the past weeks, he noticed people of all ages and genders together - two older couples sitting side by side enjoying one another's company. Two men holding one another while taking pictures - it’s nice to see and experience.

This version of Jungkook didn’t deserve you or this world, he thinks - he took it for granted.

“Y/N.”

You flinch at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. Your eyes widen at him, not hearing him come in. “W-Why are you in the closet?”

Jungkook swallows.

“And when did you change…?” your words trail off, hands wiping your tears.

“I’m sorry that he hurt you.” Jungkook murmurs, his tone lowering. His eyes are sad, you note, sad for you. He comes closer, his demeanor soft unlike the cocky and narcissistic one of that prior.

You stand to your feet and tilt your head, your eyes focusing on his face. “You just got a piercing earlier.” you murmur, more to yourself than to Jungkook. “Where did it go?”

Jungkook stiffens when he feels your fingers on his lips. His hand reaches up to touch yours on his face and he sighs. “I hate the way he treats you, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve you.”

Your head is spinning at Jungkook’s choice of words. You’re confused at how he’s wording everything - as if he’s a third person in this situation.

“Kookie…?”

Jungkook kisses your fingers then your hand. “I wish I could stay here with you. Forever.”

You aren’t sure how to feel, your emotions are spiraling. Jungkook speaks as if everything that went down between the two of you hasn’t happened - and your mind is beginning to fog; contemplating if it did or not.

“I’m not from here, Y/N.” Jungkook speaks once more, lowering your hand to your side and entangling his fingers with yours. “I wish I was so I could treat you better than him. I wouldn’t take you or this world for granted.”

You don’t speak, unable on what to say in response. You aren’t crying anymore, your cheeks stained with tears and puffy.

Jungkook tugs you deeper into the room and towards the mirror by the closet. You’re unsure what’s going on and where he’s getting at.

Jungkook’s sure he might regret this - that you would be freaked out to the point that you wouldn’t want to talk with him anymore, but he had to show you.

Jungkook stops in front of the mirror and turns towards you. He lifts your hand that’s holding his and slowly, brings it towards the mirror.

Your eyes widen in shock when your hand sinks into the mirror, a cold, windy feeling causing your hand to tremble.

“J-Jungkook-”

“I’m from a different world. I was just as scared as you are right now.” Jungkook says, bringing your hand out of the mirror and letting it go. His hands grasp your face. “I came here and everything's so…euphoric. It’s nice that everyone is accepting. There’s no strict rules enforced by the government to control you all.”

Jungkook’s thumb rubs along your lips.

“You…in my world you and I can never be together. Not unless the Government allowed it and I’m positive they aren’t. You are free to be in love with whoever you want here, Y/N. And I’m sorry this version of me is taking you for granted.”

Your heart is beating at an alarming rate. Your eyes are wide with shock at his words.

This Jungkook was not your Jungkook - not the man who cheated on you and left without as much as acknowledging your feelings. This Jungkook came from a different world - and as unbelievable as it sounded, it was true.

“Why can’t we be together?” you murmur, still unsure if this was reality or a dream - everything felt real at this point.

“The Government chooses who we marry based on ranking and status.” Jungkook explains. “You’re a woman who can bear children, so you’ll be married to someone of their choosing.”

Your eyebrows knit. “Why does it matter if I can bear children or not?”

Jungkook smiles sadly at you. “Barren women cannot be married.” He recalls wishing that you and he were both barren, then maybe the Government would see the two of you as useless and allow him to marry you - but life wasn’t that cruel to either of you.

“It must be a cruel world.” you murmur, and Jungkook agrees. “How long have you…”

Jungkook knows what you’re speaking of. “Close to two weeks. I’ve been coming to you every night.”

Your eyes widened and now, everything made sense. How Jungkook - well, not the one before you, but the other one - would be confused about the night prior, but you’d just thought he was either faking or too tired to. But no, you and this Jungkook from a different world were the one spending it together.

This is why the connection between the two of you suddenly has changed. It became bearable to be around Jungkook. He smiled and laughed more. He was willing to hold your hand wherever the two of you went and would sneak kisses at random times. He took more pictures with you and appeared overall happier than before.

But it wasn’t the Jungkook you know - it was a different version of him.

You snicker, your eyes swelling with tears.

Jungkook shakes his head. “I-I’m sorry for taking advantage of you, Y/N. Please don’t cry-”

You hand your head. “I’m not upset with you, Jungkook.” you say, blinking away the tears that are forming. “I’m upset that you and I can never be together because you aren’t from this world.”

Jungkook’s chest tightens at your words.

“And I…I can’t go to your world, either.” You didn’t want to, Jungkook thinks. He doesn’t want to see your demeanor and personality change if you went to a world so different from this one.

“I’m sorry-”

Jungkook is interrupted suddenly by your lips on his. He’s taken aback by your sudden actions, but he doesn’t push you awake.

“If there’s a world,” you remove your lips from his for a moment. “that is an alternate realm where you and I are in, that means…he can’t die.”

Jungkook isn’t sure where you’re getting at.

“Jungkook can’t die because then you’ll die.” you say, your hand caressing Jungkook’s cheek. “I-I don’t think you and he can be in the same world, either. It would probably cause some type of unbalance.”

Jungkook nods. “The in between opens at 12. I make sure I’m back before 6.”

You nod slowly.

“I want you to stay with me, Jungkook.” you murmur to him, as if it was a secret that only he can hear. “Wouldn’t you like that?”

Jungkook nods his head, doe-like eyes widening. “I do,” he admits. “but I don’t think-”

“SShh,” you peck him on his lips once more and Jungkook melts into the kiss. “we have a few hours before we can figure out what to do. I just want you to stay with me.”

Jungkook nods.

Kissing you had to be his favorite thing to do. And touching you, feeling your smooth skin against his palm.

Your back hits against the bed, legs wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. This Jungkook was different from the one you’ve known. He was gentle and kind. He cared for your feelings and truly wanted what was best for you.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.” Jungkook manages to push himself away from you just as your hand dips underneath his pants. “You’re already hurting from what he’s done to you.”

“You aren’t like him.” It’s weird to speak of a different version of himself as if it was a whole different person with a different face. “I want to be with you.”

Your hands do make their way into his pants and you proceed to grasp his hardened length. Jungkook hisses. “O-Okay.” he nods hastily with no other argument. He caves far too easily - but he’s wanted you for so long. The virtual reality he had was an embarrassing moment he wanted to forget - but now he was going to have the real thing. The real you.

“I-I want to pleasure you.” Jungkook’s cheeks are tinted as he speaks, but it’s like a dream of his. Coming from a world where pleasuring a woman (before marriage) isn’t a priority, he wants to do this - especially with you.

Jungkook kisses your neck, inhaling your sweet scent that starts to drive him wild. His hands roam your body, grasping the hem of your shirt and lifting it over your head.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” Jungkook murmurs, his lips kissing down your collarbone to between your breasts.”So beautiful and all mine.”

Jungkook doesn’t want this moment to end - he wants to savor every bit of it. He wants to sit and stare at the beauty that’s your body for hours if the universe would let him.

You feel Jungkook's hand dip behind your back to unclasp your bra. It’s left discarded, his hands roaming your back entirely. He shudders.

“You look scared.” you teased with a hushed tone. “As if you have never done this before.”

“I’m not married, so no, I have not.” Jungkook speaks. “Every man goes to the brothel but that isn’t pleasurable for the woman. I don’t even see their faces.”

You swallow, your eyes widening slightly.

“My friends often come here, too…” Jungkook begins, his hands slowly gripping your breast in the palm of his hands. “...and they told me how free it was here. What they’d do when they were pleasuring women here.”

Jungkook’s friends - you ponder if it’s the same friends in his world that Jungkook has in this one.

“And I want to try it.”

You yelp when you feel Jungkook’s mouth wrap a nipple into his mouth entirely, suckling as if his life depended on it. You weren’t complaining, enjoying just how needy Jungkook appeared. Jungkook groans in your breast, his free hand gripping your breast entirely while he sucks on the other. He’s unsure why he appears so stuck on your breast - or why he enjoys doing so. They didn’t have a particular taste to them - it only tasted like skin.

Jungkook’s positive that it’s your reaction to him doing so. Your moans - so sweet and velvety. The way your legs wrap around his waist a little tighter and your hand rests on the back of his head.

There’s a string of saliva connecting your nipple to his lips when Jungkook finally comes up from them. He licks his lips, eyes dark and full of lust.

You eye Jungkook has his lips place warm kisses upon your skin, dipping down to your stomach. His hands reach your shorts, tugging them down just as he gets lower and lower.

“Y-You don’t have to do that.” you say, embarrassed when Jungkook pulls down your shorts entirely.

Jungkook looks up at you for a moment before down at your exposed underwear - purple and cotton. They were cute, he thinks, especially as he witnesses the slight wet spot directly in the middle of them.

“Why not?” Jungkook places his fingers on your clothed clit, rubbing gently.

You swallow back a moan, thighs twitching. “Y-You never have…not you but. The other Jungkook.”

Jungkook wants to shake his head. The audacity of this other version of him - if he had the chance to ravish you at every given moment, he would. He didn’t understand why this world took everything for granted - being allowed to roam the streets after 9 Pm was a luxury alone that this world provided.

“But I want to.” Jungkook hooks his fingers between your panties and pushes it aside. He licks his lips at your wet clit and he hums. “So beautiful.” he murmurs.

Jungkook lowers himself to your heat and your eyes widen - he was really going to do this. You don’t have time to react, either. His tongue pokes out of his mouth and it’s already swiping along your clit.

“S-Stop…!” you yelp, jerking at the unfamiliar feeling.

Jungkook catches your legs just as they were about to crush him. “Relax, Y/N.” he laughs gleefully. “Just let me take care of you, okay?”

You bite your lip but nod. Your legs are trembling with nerves and slight embarrassment at how close Jungkook was to your sex - vaginas couldn’t look that appealing for him to appear ready to risk it all at just a taste of it.

But to Jungkook, it was. His nails dig into the skin of your thighs as he holds you into place, his tongue flat and his head shifting from side to side.

Your stomach bubbles with tension and pleasure. You aren’t aware that something like this could feel good for you - you imagined it whenever you went down on Jungkook, but there was a difference between the two genitalia.

Now, it was like Jungkook was getting rid of an itch you never knew was there. You couldn’t contain your moans any longer, nor did he want you to. There was no pleasuring any women from the brothel and in the end, even after he came, he could never feel truly satisfied with himself.

Now, it’s different. It’s more intimate - pleasuring you the way he wants to. His demeanor changes entirely from that of the soft man she’s come to love to be around - to a man hungry for what's between her legs.

“K-Kookie!” you yelp once more at feeling fingers pierce through your entrance. Even then, he doesnt stop sucking your clit.

Jungkook hums, the vibration felt throughout your lower region. His eyes dart up at you and it causes him to groan. So beautiful, he thinks. The look of pure bliss on your face, eyes fluttering closed as pleasure shoots through you.

Jungkook leans back to watch intently at the way your pussy tightens around his fingers. He pumps in and out, your juices coating not only his fingers, but down his palm and to his wrists.

“I wish I can stay here with you forever.” Jungkook says, adding another finger to fill you even more. “I would treat you better. I would never make you cry.”

Jungkook is such a smooth talker, you think . But even so, you believed him. His eyes are much softer and even now as he’s fucking his fingers inside of you, he’s still so loving.

“Kook - shit!” Jungkook connects his lips back onto your already swollen clit and is determined to make you cum.

Your hands grip along the bedsheets, your thighs trembling. It was all too much to handle right now. Each time your hips would buck, Jungkook would just push you back down onto the mattress and plunge his fingers even deeper.

“I know you’re about to cum.” Jungkook purrs, then goes back to lapping your clit, his eyes watching your every emotion. His fingers are hitting your spot so sweetly that you can’t hold it back anymore, releasing the tension from deep inside of you with a shriek.

Jungkook’s chest is soaked entirely, but he couldn’t care any less. Instead, he removes his fingers from inside of you and licks them clean.

Your thighs are trembling even more now, your eyes closing and your chest heaving in an attempt to catch your breath.

There was no way Jungkook never done this before. Even from a different world, Jungkook had to have some similar characteristics of the other Jungkook - determined to make you cum regardless if it was never his mouth or tongue, not stopping until he had.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks you, kissing your lips gently. You tasted yourself on him.

You hum a lazy response.

“So cute.” Jungkook smiles. “Are you tired? Hungry? “ he tilts his head for a response. “I can go get those sugar things you like with the chocolate filling-“

“I want you to fuck me before we think about eating.” you sigh, tone serious. Your eyes flutter open until they’re no longer blurry.

Jungkook’s cheek flush at your words. “You don’t even look like you’re capable of-“

Jungkook’s left stunned when you manage to flip him on his back, hovering right above him. “Just needed a few seconds is all.” you say to him. “I really want to taste you, too but…I’m really impatient.”

Jungkook nods hastily as you go to remove his pants.

“I will next time. Promise.”

Jungkook isn’t upset about you not returning the favor - he didn’t expect you to. Having the opportunity to do anything with you was what he truly desired.

“Don’t we need some form of protection?” Jungkook asks when you’re hovering above him, ready to bring him into you entirely.

“I’m on birth control.” You shake your head with a giggle and Jungkook only appears more confused.

“What’s that?”

You tilt your head. “There’s no birth control in your world?”

Jungkook shakes his head slowly, trying to ponder how anyone can control something like-

Jungkook gasps, feeling you entirely. You’re so warm and wet and his mind is going crazy at feeling you entirely raw.

“The chances of getting pregnant are low when on birth control.” you explain, placing both of your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. “So it should be okay.”

Jungkook was going to take your word for it. His hands find your waist and it holds on it for support.

Your hips begin to rise and fall at a rhythmic pace, wet skin slapping against his own. Soon moans filled the room, both yours and his - and Jungkook wasn’t going to hide how good you were making him feel.

“Feel…so…good…” Jungkook huffs with each bounce on his cock. His eyes fight to focus on something for longer than a few seconds, but he can’t. Your breast bounces in his face and he tries to catch a nipple but fails a few times. Your face is so beautiful, contorted with pleasure as you take him.

“Does it?”

You lean back, your palms on his thighs. Your feet are pressed firmly onto the mattress and you continue your bouncing.

Jungkook hisses, the next position allowing him to go a bit deeper in you. You knew what you were doing, knowing exactly how to pleasure him just right. Jungkook wants to harm the other version of him - how could you go elsewhere when everything he needed was right here?

Jungkook opens his eyes to look at you and he grunts all over again. Your pussy is dripping all over him, creaming his cock so lovingly. There’s a white ring around his cock, evident of how much you were loving this.

“You’re so-“

“Beautiful?” you finished the sentence for Jungkook, giggling. You clench around him and Jungkook hisses.

“It’s true. You are.”

Your heart swells at his words - they aren’t just sex words. Often he would tell you how beautiful he thought you were and of course you were smitten. You thought it was your Jungkook, not this new Jungkook from a different world.

Jungkook allows his hands to roam your naked skin, goosebumps running along his arms. He hisses with a slight shake of his head. “You’re too g-good at this.”

“So were you.” you giggle, grinding against him. “Surprised you never pleasured a girl before.”

“I learn fast.” Jungkook licks his lips, pressing a thumb against your swollen clit, satisfied when you flinch.

While Jungkook's right hand plays with your clit, his left places itself on your ass and squeezes.

Jungkook flickers his eyes up st your face to find that you’re already looking at him. He gives a slight grin - the thrust upwards.

“Fuck, s-stop!” your body flushes with heat. “I was supposed to make you cum this time!”

“You are.” Jungkook hooks both of his arms beneath your thighs and then on your hips to keep you steady. “This birth control means I can cum in you?”

You bite your lip and nod and that's all the confirmation Jungkook needs.

Jungkook begins to pound into you, his pace entirely alarming and there's no build up to it. All he knows is that he’s wanted you for as long as he could remember and in this world he had you - you and whatever birth control was.

Soon the room is filled with wet squelching of your pussy being stuffed so full mixed with Jungkook’s grunts and your whimpers. Your arms wrap around Jungkook’s neck for support and this has Jungkook peppering your skin with kisses.

Jungkook doesn’t stop his pounding, not even when you're trembling and scratching along his back. He only snickers at your actions, far too enthralled in this moment that he doesn’t care what pain you might cause him.

“I-I don’t think-“

“Sshhh,” Jungkook presses his lips on yours to silence your whining. His teeth clap on your bottom lip, tugging slightly. “I know you can take it, baby.”

You came - an embarrassing moment for you. You didn’t hold in the shriek as you do so and it was entirely Jungkook’s fault - his insane stamina, his soft kisses on your skin and the dark whisper of a pet name.

Jungkook groans, your cum dripping out of you and onto him entirely. He could never get enough of you and each thrust has him hating the version of him that left you here crying.

“Gonna cum,” Jungkook huffs, kissing your face entirely. Your eyes are closed tightly and a few whimpers are releasing from your lips due to the overstimulation.

You clench around him as tight as you could to get Jungkook to cum and it works. A few sloppy thrusts and a deep moan later, Jungkook’s cumming deep inside of you - a wave of emotion shudders through his body.

You fall limp against Jungkook while your eyes flutter close. “So tired.” you murmur.

Jungkook places a kiss upon your forehead. “You don’t want those sugar things with the filling?”

You grumble, “It sounds like you want them.”

Jungkook does.

“I’ll put an order for them to be delivered.” you lift yourself and sigh. “How about you just take my phone and go get it? You remember the way?”

Jungkook nods his head and soon, you’re sleeping soundly on the bed.

Jungkook licks his lips as he gets dressed. Currency was different in your world. Though he worked, there was only a certain amount he could ever earn from his job, the rest went towards whatever the Government saw fit - funding the brothel and new technology to advance the world. Even being able to go somewhere and eat was a luxury - it was something the Government also controlled; when and how they got their food.

Jungkook opens the door to the room and stops dead in his tracks.

Jungkook blinks at the familiar face of himself. There’s a piercing on his eyebrow and lip and it causes Jungkook to tilt his head at it.

“What the fuck-“

Jungkook reacts entirely too fast, even before his mind can think of what to do. He watches as the version of himself falls back and holds his nose, blood pooling from his hand.

“You don’t belong here.” Jungkook murmurs , his voice dangerously low. “You don’t deserve her.”

Jungkook is surprised that you don’t awake - maybe you were that exhausted. He doesn’t stop punching until the version of him is unconscious and he’s covered in an alarming amount of blood.

Jungkook huffs. He grabs the versions of him arms and begins to drag him inside the room. He glances at your sleeping figure and feels an emotion go through him. He wants to love you the way you deserve - to care for you like he should be able to.

And with this Jungkook here, he never could.

Jungkook pushes towards the mirror, the ripple effect telling him that there was still time.

There’s a moan - he was waking up. Jungkook curses mentally to himself and pushes as hard as he could to this world’s Jungkook until he’s fully through the mirror.

Now, all he had to do was wait until it was time for the portal to be closed.

Jungkook’s eyes open, shooting straight up. His eyes look around his surroundings - where the fuck was he?

This wasn’t his room - no, it couldn’t be. It was so dull, dark. Plain - where were the lights he had on his bed? Where were the mirrors he placed up?

Jungkook’s eyes the large window outside, noticing that lights were peaking through. There was a digital clock flashing red numbers. He shakes his head. “What the hell…?”

Jungkook turns towards the mirror in front of him, eyes wide as it begins to crack. He shields himself with his hands as mirror pieces begin to fly on him suddenly, the mirror breaking out of thin air.

Jungkook releases a deep breath, hammer in hand. His chest heaves, the mirror shards surrounding him entirely.

“Kookie?!”

You run inside the room, head flailing around to see what the commotion was. “How did the mirror…” your eyes glance down to the hammer in Jungkook’s hands.

It was now 6 A.M, Jungkook notes, and it was time for his world to wake and go on with their lives - without him.

“I thought you said you were gonna go shower?” Jungkook drops the hammer and turns towards you. “Sorry if I disturbed you.”

You sigh, shoulders relaxing. “It’s okay.” you say. “Is…is the portal gone?”

Jungkook nods his head, for now at least. He’s positive there was a way for him to return through a different mirror - but he had no intentions to. As long as the Utopian world Jungkook didn’t know how to return, he was satisfied.

“Good.” you smile at Jungkook, a genuine smile that warms his heart.

Good - it was good. Now Jungkook could have you like he always has - no strict rules, no Government forcing him to marry a woman he didn’t want.

Just you and him - you & this Jungkook - forever.

@seokjinkismet @bloodline1632 @babycandy111

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[crljhnn]

The older Jefferson

Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader

Summary: After Rowley announces that his older (half-)sister, who lives quite far away and has never met the Heffleys, is going to visit him over the break Susan invites his family over for dinner. Her not being what Rodrick expects, he starts crushing, which results in him trying to impress her - failing horribly.

No physical description; No use of y/n

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: None

A/N: Hi, just a quick warning that English isn’t my first language and that this is also the first time I’ve ever written a longer text in English that isn’t a school assignment. I also don’t fully understand Tumblr yet, which makes me honestly a bit anxious to post.

[This and a gender-neutral version are also posted on AO3]

“Why haven't you ever mentioned that you have an older Sister?” Rowley and Greg were sitting on the Heffleys living room floor - Rodrick occupying the whole space on the couch - playing a video game. Well, Greg was. It was a single-player. He promised they would take turns, but by now Rowley had been over for about two and a half hours and hadn’t even had the chance to touch the controller yet. He gave up on asking and settled on just watching about 45 minutes in.

“I talked about her before. Multiple times actually.” That is true. Rowley looks up to his sister a lot “Also, she is technically my Half-Sister. She’s been living with her Dad for longer than I remember. Normally we are the ones flying over to visit during summer break, but she hasn’t visited since she was a little Kid, and after her school schedule finally allowed it, we thought it would be a good idea if she, for a change, came here instead.”

“It sounds like you two get along great!” Mrs. Heffley walked in, holding a laundry basket under one arm while carrying Manny with the other.

“We do! I can’t wait to show her my room and have her around for the entire break! I have so much planned out already, it's gonna be so much fun! Best summer ever!”

“That sounds lovely Rowley, I wish Greg was so excited to hang out with Rodrick, but they just won't get along.” Susan sighed, throwing a pitiful glance at her two oldest, who simultaneously let out a laugh hearing this.”

“Yeah, never gonna happen.” Greg says, “I would rather spend the whole summer in school than voluntarily hang out with this idiot.”

“My Sister is actually around the same age as Rodrick.” Rowley buts in. Greg doesn’t understand how this is relevant, but it probably adds to his mother's yearning for her two oldest sons to get along. Rodrick lets out a laugh hearing that.

“I can’t wait to meet them. Just imagine an older, female version of Rowley. That’s actually fucking hilarious!”.

“Watch your language! Also, I'm sure she is wonderful.” Gregs Mom loosens her lecturing stance, turns around, and smiles at Rowley “I would love to have you and your family over for dinner sometime. It has been a while since I’ve seen your parents and I would love to meet your sister.”

“That sounds great Mrs. Heffley. I will ask my parents as soon as I get home!”

That brings us to about a week later, when the Jefferson family, including their oldest daughter, is standing in front of the Heffleys House, ringing their doorbell.

Rowley has been telling you all about his best friend Greg for years, which made you somewhat excited about finally meeting him. However, you can’t say that the picture your brother painted is entirely positive, finding him rather irritating in many of the stories you were told over time. You aren't too mad though, assuming it is normal for young, teenage boys to act like jerks every once in a while. Not everyone can be such a sweetheart as Rowley. Overall you're glad your brother managed to maintain such a long-lasting friendship.

And then there was Rodrick. You've heard rather interesting stories about him as well. In the beginning, you found those quite amusing, that was until you realized that Rowley was genuinely terrified of him. Not the best first impression someone could make on you. Influenced by seeing your younger sibling grow up to be such a sweet and genuine person you tend to be a bit protective from time to time.

You hear some hushed voices from inside, and you can identify one of them as female, reminding someone to behave. Then the door opens and a woman, who you assume to be Mrs. Heffley, kindly smiles at you. Your suspicion is confirmed a second later when she introduces herself and shoos you into the house, before continuing to greet the rest of your family.

Crossing the threshold you can now see a man standing slightly behind Greg's mother. He introduces himself as Frank, making quite a kind impression on you. Then he leads you into the living room to meet his sons.

The two older ones hardly even notice you at first, too occupied with arguing and rowing with each other.

“Boys!”, their father speaks up, successfully catching their attention. Rather comically their gazes fall from their father to you, their eyes widening and their mouths dropping open. You were not what they expected. While Greg looks just shocked, you would describe Rodricks state as mesmerized.

He recovers fast, pushes Greg off of him, stands up, and puts on what he hopes is a charming smile. Extending his hand he starts to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m-”

At least he tries to.

“Rodrick. I know. My brother has told me one or two rather interesting stories about you”, your smile is sharp. He gulps, his confident smile turning sheepish, cursing Rowley in his head. You are not what he expected and you are definitely not anywhere close to being a female carbon copy of your, in his eyes, embarrassing younger brother.

He normally wouldn’t consider himself the kind of person who has a type, but from now on, if someone asked, he would probably revert to describing you. You were just ethereal, everything about you was attractive to him. The way you walked, talked, and carried yourself, but also your clothing and hairstyle. Your pretty face just rounds up your whole appearance, making you all the more alluring.

He had to get on your good side. While a family dinner, especially with Greg present, may not be the best opportunity, he could ask Rowley to put in a few good words for him. That kid was easily influenced (or intimidated). Still, making the best possible impression over dinner wouldn’t cause any harm either.

You turn to the other boy who has been silently watching the exchange. Now that your attention is on him he starts feeling nervous as well. Your expression, however, turns a bit more friendly.

“And you must be Greg.” he nods. You introduce yourself and lastly say hello to Manny who is sitting on the floor playing with some figurines. By now the others have entered the room, causing Susan to start leading you all to the dining table.

You’re seated between Rowley and Greg, across from Rodrick, which results in quite frequent eye contact. On one side you really want to intimidate him a bit. This could maybe make your brother's life a bit easier, at least for the time being. On the other side, you do want to make some conversation, maybe throw in a bit of (family dinner appropriate) flirting or at least find out if he’s single.

It’s really hard to hold a grudge against someone who is entirely your type.

While you’re conflicted, Rodrick, on the other hand, is sweating. Nervously fidgeting in his seat. You didn’t seem as irritated with him anymore, if the eye contact was anything to go by. Was this his chance to redeem his shitty first impression? He cursed his brain for failing to come up with something cool to say.

Since when is it so hard to talk to girls? Is it getting hotter in here? What impresses girls? What does he normally brag about? His band! That’s it. Now he just has to bring it up somehow. Maybe he can bribe Greg to ask him about it. No, that’s too risky, he can’t count on Greg to not fuck this up. He is just going to casually bring it up ‘I’m in a band by the way, pretty sick huh?’ ‘Do you like music? Cause I’m in a band’ No that’s stupid everyone likes music… ‘Which kind of music do you listen to?’ That’s good, he should bring up the topic of music first, that’s a normal conversation topic. After that step two is to bring up the band. That’s easy, he got this.

Now he just needs to wait till your attention is on him again and then he can smoothly lead the conversation in the desired direction. He has to calm down, he can do it.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Your eyes meet again.

“I’m in a band!” He speaks way louder than intended, his voice is squeaky, and in the middle of the sentence he has the most embarrassing voice crack imaginable.

Silence.

The sole attention is now on him. All he hears is Greg's snickering which causes him to kick him under the table.

“Ow!” That was not Greg's leg. He looks up to see you looking at him with a questioning expression.

That’s it. He fucked up. His chances were already low, but he still managed to shrink them even more, making them most likely completely vanish. Great. His ears were ringing, all he can hear is Greg's quiet laughter in the background.

“I'm sorry I didn’t mean to kick you, I-” he starts his apology but loses track of what he is trying to say when he sees your expression change. You're clearly trying to suppress a smile, but it's not working at all.

“You’re adorable.” Rowley chokes on his food, and Greg's laughter abruptly stops

“Rodrick? Adorable?” That’s it. Greg gives up on ever trying to understand girls. How can his stupid older brother embarrass himself like that, then kick the poor girl under the table and still be perceived as adorable by her, especially since she is so much out of his league?

Rodrick however, was still not functioning properly.

“So that band, is its name by any chance Löded Diaper?”

“Yeah.” He is proud of himself for speaking at an appropriate volume without stuttering. “How do yo-”

“I saw your creepy white Van in front of the house. What’s up with that, kidnapping little kids as a side hustle?” You are still smiling, and with your stupid joke you somehow manage to relax the atmosphere a bit, the adults going back to their conversation.

Rodrick too is now smiling, looking at you with an expression you could only describe as lovestruck, even though you just insulted him.

He is contemplating making a joke about how the space in the back could be quite useful for more than just trapping kids but decides against it, fearing to make it awkward again. Getting nervous about taking too much time to come up with an answer he instead lands on “No only kidnapping pretty girls like you.”. As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets it, realizing it's in fact not a funny and flirty thing to say, but honestly rather creepy.

At the end of the evening, Rodrick has messed up flirting with you multiple times, however, it’s his luck that you find his desperate attempts to look cool to impress you weirdly endearing. Not that he realizes that. Calling Rodrick confused, questioning why you were still talking to him, would be an understatement.

He certainly doesn’t know how he can have messed up so many times and still end up finding a little note with your number on it in his pullover hood after you left.

[astroboots]

EVERY YOU EVERY ME: Issue #2

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader

Summary: Your streak of bad luck continues as you find that the universe is not done putting you in harm's way. Luckily, you have grouchy Spider-man to save you.

Word count: 3,500 words.

Content: Slowest of the burn, near death experiences, the emotional whiplash of Miguel O'Hara being a rude bastard and a total softie.

Astroboot’s Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist

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According to an article that ran in the New York Times: one out of every 40 New Yorkers will have a run in with a Superhero in the time they live here.

That might not sound like much, but considering that nearly 8.5 million people live in this city, it adds up to a lot of people. In fact, most in your friends circle have their own anecdotal story to tell.

I ran into Tony Stark at the Brandy Library and he asked me for my phone number. Bit of a sleaze but he bought our whole table a round of drinks.

Captain America landed on my Fiat on Manhattan Bridge. He dented the roof, but he was very polite about it.

Daredevil was hanging out at the fire escape ladder above the Meatball shop. Gave me tips on what to order.

It's nothing short of a miracle that having lived in this city for as many years as you have that this is the first time you've had a Supes encounter.

It'll be a great story to tell at parties. You fell out of the Chrysler building and were rescued mid-air. It blows all the other stories out of the water. Though, you'll probably leave out the part where he wished he'd left you to die.

You stare blindly at your computer screen. There are endless rows of cells on your excel sheet no matter how far you scroll. Uninterrupted numbers and reference codes for insurance claims that are waiting for your attention. But the numbers and letters all blend into an indecipherable sludge soup. All you can focus on is: 'I should've let you fall.'

Heat prickles your cheek, as you replay his words in your head.

What the hell.

That was entirely unnecessary.

You didn't deserve that.

Over the course of the last 24 hours, you've played the scene on an endless loop in your head, until the memory is worn and scratched like a used up VHS tape.

Did you do something wrong? You must've. Who has ever heard of a Superhero treating a civilian in this manner? You’re just a hapless innocent bystander who fell out of a building due to a supervillain battle they started. To blame it on you and then call it a mistake. Isn't that something a supervillain would do?

Gritting your teeth, you feel yourself seething of the memory of the windows next to you breaking and shattering out of nowhere as a bird-person villain with mechanical wings tumbled past you. Next thing you knew you were tumbling out the window. 

And then he saved you.

Did he mean to save someone else? Is that why he was so annoyed? But, you didn't see any other people falling from the building on your way down.

You replay the memory. Again.

The looming silhouette of his towering frame over yours as he sneered down at you.

He looked at you like he knew you. Like you had offended him with your mere existence. But you don't understand how. You've never met him before. Never met anyone who looked even remotely like him. You would've remembered a man with red eyes, they're not exactly common. Plus, you don't think you've ever met someone quite so tall. Your neck hurt with the angle you had to crane just to look at his face.

What could you possibly have done in your lifetime to piss off a Superhero you've never met before?

For that matter what Superhero is he anyway? You think back at the dark navy suit clinging onto every inch of skin, embellished by that bright angry red in the emblem of a spider.

Spider-man... 

Except Spider-man is known to be a swell guy with a great sense of humor. Not a rude asshole.

Aren't his colors inverted too? You pull up the browser on your screen and google "spiderman outfit". There's over 800 million hits. In all of them Spiderman's suit is primarily red with blue embellishment.

Whoever the guy is, you don't think he's your friendly neighborhood Spiderman that every New Yorker knows and loves.

With a hapless sigh, you click aimlessly on your screen, trying to look busy at work for the next twenty minutes until you can go on your lunch break. You go through the motions of your soul sucking tasks. Tagging each insurance claim into one of the following categories: approved/rejected/further missing information required.

Peering over your cubicle wall to the wall of windows, you spy the section that has been zoned off since yesterday. The broken window you were knocked out of has already been replaced, but there's still shattered glass and debris nearby.

Your stomach drops, the phantom sensation of the ground beneath you giving way. For a brief second you swear you can feel the weightlessness of soaring through the skies without anything catching your fall.

You stand up from your desk, solid ground meeting the soles of your feet to remind you where you are. 

The office.

There's a monotone drone of workers all around you grumbling and sighing just as unhappily. The quiet tip-tapping of keyboards of the working masses.

Is this the life you managed to escape death for?

Is this it?

It's kind of sad isn't it? You nearly died and lived to tell the tale, only to return to a life so unremarkable your brain didn't deign it necessary to provide you with any highlights (cause there are none).

The most exciting thing that has happened to you the whole of this year was being insulted by a grumpy superhero. The most you've wanted to live was during that span of ten seconds when you were falling out of a building to your death.

You glance at your clock, still 15 minutes before noon. You log out of your desktop anyway.

You barely make it across the street from your office. The light is green as you cross Lexington Avenue when the screeching noise of tires tears down the street and rips through your eardrums.

A yellow taxi hurtles towards you at full speed. Through the car window separating you, the cab driver is staring up at you with wide-eyed horror. In that fraction of a second before the hard metal is going to collide and shatter every bone in your body, you only have one thought: Oh god, this is going to hurt.

Life doesn't flash before your eyes. All you see is the familiar blur of shiny blue and red.

Go figure that's the only moment extraordinary enough for your brain to think it's worth replaying before you die.

There's a blunt and forceful shove to the side of your ribs. Softer than you would've imagined a two tonne vehicle slamming into you would be. It doesn't hurt. It reminds you of that time you played football with your cousin and he body slammed you to the lawn. You've heard about this phenomena, the brain will try to protect itself by going unconscious if the pain is too extreme.

But there's no bright light, when you open your eyes all you see is the familiar shiny blue fabric.

A firm weight wraps around your shoulders, and you recognize this, the feeling of being held as you're pulled into their solid chest. There's not enough time for you to look up, you're slammed onto the ground, the solid warmth wrapped around you, absorbing the fall.

The pressure wrapped around you shifts then lifts away entirely. When you open your eyes for a second time, there’s no one there holding you. 

There's no one else there with you. Just the standstill traffic of cars and pedestrians gawking at you.

A concerned woman runs over to you, bending down to help you up on your feet. "Are you okay? That car came out of nowhere."

Your legs feel unsteady, wobbling as you put weight on it to stand up. 

“I’m fine, I think,” you respond, and look down on yourself. There are no scrapes, just a bit of dust on your work-attire from traffic.

"You're so lucky, Spiderman was there to save you."

You blink up at the woman in dazed confusion and it takes your brain a few seconds to process what she's telling you.

Spider-man...

In your mind's eye the flashes of blue and a vivid red invades your vision. It wasn't just your life flashing you by. Not just a figment of your imagination.

He was here. He saved you. (Probably not) Spider-man saved you (again).

A wave of gratitude washes over you. You take back every unflattering thought you had about the man not five minutes ago. Rude? Would a rude man save you, not once but twice in one day? No, of course not, you probably just misunderstood him, or misheard. After all, if he truly regretted saving you, he wouldn't have done it a second time... right?

--

When you get back at your desk, there's a post-it tacked to your computer screen, with an angry scrawl of a handwriting.

'Look BOTH ways before crossing!!!!!'

You stare at the note, and the way the word "both" is capitalized and aggressively underlined.

Rude.

The universe is out to kill you. You're sure of it.

They say that death comes in threes after all. So no one can blame you for being a little bit on the edge after you've gone two for two within the time span of 24 hours.

You stay away from windows in tall buildings. You look both ways, twice, before crossing the street. You try to go straight home from work the minute you clock out from work, turning down any and all initiations with friends to go out after out of precaution. It's just not worth the risk.

And for a while it seems to work. For a while, there are no more incidents. A week goes by and your nerves start to settle and you are lulled into a temporary sense of security before it all goes to shits.

A ceramic flower pot on a windowsill tumbling off the sixth floor of a brown house by Chelsea that would have dropped on your head and split your skull if someone hadn't bumped into you from behind that you weren’t able to catch sight of.

A piece of scaffolding that comes loose and falls from a construction site in West Village as you happened to walk past, and would have been crushed under if you weren’t tackled away at the last second by someone who fled the scene before you could thank them.

A hot dog cart runs amok, hurtling downhill towards you between 184th and 190th street in Manhattan when the cart suddenly out of nowhere, against the very laws of physics like it’s being pulled by an invisible force and changes direction mere inches in front of you, hurtling through the air and crashing into the windows of a bodega instead.

Each and every incident leaves you with an ever growing sense of paranoia that this cannot be explained away by being merely pure bad luck. There are cosmic forces at force that clearly want you dead.

On Thursday, there are leftover cupcakes from a client conference. Mary, the secretary in your team, boxes up four of them for you and tells you to take them with you, because, "you've had a rough week, toots."

It’s not a flattering assessment of you, but when you see your own reflection in the mirrors of the office toilets, you can’t help but think it’s an accurate one. You look rough. Eyes bloodshot with deep furrowed lines underneath. Your face is gaunter than you remember seeing it too. 

You take the cupcakes. 

It's the first good thing that has happened to you all week, and as small of a comfort it is, you take it as a win.

You eye the box from your desk the rest of the day, squirreled away in your tiny cubicle. You are determined not to eat one while at work. Because you'll be damned if Matt from accounting catches a whiff of your cupcakes and asks you to share one with him. You want to properly savor them in the comfort of your home at the end of the day.

But as often is the case when you have something to look forward to, the seconds, minutes and hours tick away with a reluctant drag as if time itself knew you wanted the day to end faster and decided it'd be fun to flip yet another cosmic middle finger in your direction. 

When it's finally time to end work, you get off your chair so forcefully it knocks it to the floor. You are practically jogging through the lanes of cubicles to get to the elevator, and nearly smack the security guard on the other side with how hard you swing open the front door. 

It's pouring outside, which, of course it is. You take off your jacket and cover your cupcake box with it, because you're not going to let the universe ruin the one good thing you've got going for you this week, as you run towards the station.

The moment you step into the damp and sticky station any remaining sense of joy in you evaporates. There's a hoard of tourists swarming the subway paying no attention to their surroundings. Tourists wearing their caps and backpacks and wheelies knocking over a 'Caution Wet Floor ' sign as they gather in a throng in front of the subway map, blocking the way as you hear the train approach.

It's not that big of a deal. A train comes every two to five minutes, and if you miss this one, you'll just get on the next one. It's not the end of the world. Logically, you know that. Emotionally and spiritually however, the world around you has just taken a little bit too much from you for you to concede to this minor little loss.

You are going to make this goddamned train.

Taking a determined step forward, you shoulder and push your way through the throng of people to fight your way to the front of the track.

You push a little too hard. Your feet skid across the slippery tiles, leg buckling from your own weight and you lose control, tumbling forward.

In your peripheral view there's a blinding light approaching. There's wind beating the sides of your face, and you can hear the screeching metal of the train right next to you. Your foot drops into empty space and you are falling into the tracks. 

Oh god why...

Why?

You just want to live.

The cupcake box flies out of your grip, splattered somewhere across the front pane of the train. There's a hard tug on your shirt as an invisible force you cannot see yanks you back, hard.

Your head whips back and for a fraction of a second, there are crimson eyes staring back down at you, you blink and then it's gone.

You land on your ass with a bruising force to your tailbone with a bone-breaking thud. The subway whizzes by with a demonic roar past you, inches from where you're sprawled on your ass on the dirty tiles of the subway station.

In front of your feet, there's a long streak of white frosting trailing down from your feet to the tracks of what looks like a crime scene.

Maybe it's the stress. Maybe you've just had a bad night of sleep (after many successive bad nights with little to no sleep). But something in you breaks at the sight of the frosting smeared across the dirty subway tiles.

Your eyes sting with exhaustion. Chest drawing in tight with a crumbling ache that makes you want to curl up on the cold tiles. You're just so tired.

There are people around you staring at you. No one in their right mind who lives in New York would sit on the floor of the subway.

But your legs are heavy and numb. You can’t move from the spot. Everything tastes like bile. You try to swallow and force it back down but it's no use, your throat has swollen shut. Your cheeks run wet and you press your palms to your eyes to make it stop but that only seems to make it worse. Snot runs down your nose and drips down your wrist. You're crying and you don't know how to stop.

Is this the rest of your life?

In the morning, you wake in your bed with a sore ache that gnaws at your bones. Swollen eyes and a soreness that scratches the lining of your throat.

Your back hurts, and as you try to turn to your side to get out of bed a sharp pain surges up along your entire spine.

Fuck.

It's too bright. The sunlight is offensive. It stings your eyes and makes you sick to your stomach. You only have vague memories of how you made it back home. Feet shuffling through the subway in a daze like the walking dead.

God is that what you are? A dead man woman walking?

You crane your head and catch a glimpse of your clock on the bedside table. 9.13 You're late for work. But that's mind as well, you don't have it in you to make it in.

What's the point anyhow? You hate that place.

Besides, if the subway on the way over doesn't finish off the job this time around, then eventually a taxi will. Failing that the universe is probably going to send over a ninja assassin rat from the subway to come after your life.

There's a soft breeze coming in from the open window that grazes the back of your neck and you turn your head towards it. All you can see from your window is the brick wall of the neighboring building. Even though your apartment is on the sixth floor, you can't see a speck of the New York skyline.

Still the breeze is nice, though you don't remember opening the window last night. You never usually do. It is silly and paranoid. No human robber could possibly climb up your six storey building just to climb into your window and rob you. If they could, they’d find that there isn’t much to rob in your apartment, the most valuable thing you own is a complete Le Creuset Cookware set. 

Your eyes glaze over your work tote bag on the floor next to the window, drifting upwards and spot the pink box sat on the window sill and you stop. 

You didn’t put that there. 

You sit upright in your bed, setting your feet to the floor and force yourself to leave your bed as you pad over to the open window.

It's a fancy looking thing. Baby pink, and chiffon ribbon on its side. Wrapping your pinkie around it, you tug it loose. You perch your thumb against the corner of the lid when you stop.

It's not another one of the universe's assassination attempts is it? You're not going to open it to find a bomb ticking down are you?

You hesitate for another moment, taking a deep calming breath before you gather the courage to finally lift the lid. Inside, there is a gorgeous display of cupcakes adorned with white and pink frosting, topped with strawberries, chocolate shavings and on two of them there's mini macarons.

Way fancier than the day old Costco cupcakes you'd lost yesterday.

Picking up one, you take a bite. The frosting is light and zesty. The refreshing lemon melts on the tip of your tongue as the buttery cream floods your mouth with the rich flavor. It's the best thing you've ever tasted.

Lifting the box, you check the sides of it to see if there's any note left behind, but there's none.

Gladis Bakery. It's from a bakery you've never heard of before. When you google the name the place is outside of New Jersey, 58 minutes away and you would need to take a subway then switch to a tram.

There's no note attached, but you don't need one. The list of candidates who would be physically able to climb up six floors up the bricks of your apartment building to leave cupcakes on your window isn’t a long one. 

Something warm blooms in your chest at the thought, and your fingers linger on the top of the box, savoring the taste of lemon and sugar still lingering on your tongue.

You put your head out the window, not sure what you're expecting to find but find yourself disappointed all the same when there's nothing there. No people in the quiet street below, and nothing unusual above.

"Thank you for uhm... saving me,” you say into the silence with nothing but the traffic noise below to answer you. 

 “And the cupcakes," you add. 

There's no reply. 

~ To be continued.

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[evergone]

I'm [Nott] a Bad Person

Theodore Nott x Reader

Warnings: swearing, bullying

Description: The reader and Theo are accused of causing a fight, but they swear they didn't do it.

Professor McGonagall’s office was a little too **Gryffindor-esque for your tastes. The couches, wallpaper, and even the rug on the floor underneath her desk were all some shade of dark red and you had no other way to describe it other than ‘detestably Gryffindor.’ Even so, the fireplace opposite the door warmed the room and gave it that undeniably homey feel you always got when you returned to Hogwarts after the long, hot break between years. She had a few paintings hanging from her walls, but either the subjects were busy elsewhere or she just had a thing for landscapes. One in particular caught your eye, a painting of the Forbidden Forest where you had certainly never been. After all, it was forbidden and you, ever the obedient Slytherin, would never break a rule.

“Do you know why you are here?” The professor asked and your attention slid back to the situation you were in.

“I know why they’re here,” Theo responded from your left, “But Y/n and I are victims.”

“Oh, please, you lot started this whole thing!” Granger squeaked like that little mouse the weasel kid used to have.

“Do you ever shut up, Granger?” Theo retorted.

Your lips tightened as you attempted to stifle a laugh and Theo sent you a quick smirk. McGonagall cleared her throat, again regaining your limited attention span as she tapped impatiently on her brown wooden desk; creating a dum-dum, dum-dum sound under the pads of her fingers like a heartbeat. Furrowed brows and an intense stare told you more than enough about her absolutely foul mood, and you reminded yourself not to play around with her.

“Each of you, tell me the story,” she said, “You first, Mister Potter.”

Theo muttered an ‘of course’ under his breath but you pretended not to hear it. If anyone was to get in trouble you were going to make damn sure it wasn’t you. You had a reputation to uphold; the nicest Slytherin anyone would ever meet. A façade, obviously, you were just as ruthless and cunning as your housemates, but the nice façade was what made you so. It was truly a shame Potter and co. had found you out, but you intended to cover your ass so well that no one else would ever know the truth about you, save for your friends.

“Well, uh…” Potter began to recount his version of the tale.

Apparently (and I say ‘apparently’ because despite his story being almost entirely accurate, you were going to make up a completely different one to get away with this), he had come to you in a free period to ask about how to befriend dragons quickly, knowing as well as most that your family had been breeding dragons since the dawn of dragonology. You were skeptical of him, having never quite interacted with him directly, only through the wild stories Draco or Pansy would tell you or small altercations in the halls that you always pulled Theo away from. Draco could do as he wished but you wouldn’t see yourself or your boyfriend being implicated in his shenanigans.

“I’m not supposed to talk to you,” you had told Potter.

“And why’s that?” He asked.

“All my friends say that you’re — and I’m quoting them here — ‘a mudblood mingling cunt,’” you said, “And though I have no care in the world for blood purity, I do like my friends quite a bit. They wouldn’t hang out with me if I got caught with you.”

You always had a wonderful way of putting things. Your monotonous voice mixed with your incredibly harsh words made for the most readable and expressive conversations. Potter’s little muggle born girlfriend (or girl friend, whichever it was) had almost jumped out of her own socks at your foul language. Personally offended, perhaps? You didn’t mean to hurt her, it just sort of slipped out. Maybe if you were actually a nicer person you’d apologise.

“Just… give me a hand? I know you helped Cedric,” Potter pleaded.

You shrugged, “I really can’t talk to you,” you said, “Though… I am weak to bribery… Maybe if you find me something I want I’ll help you out. Bye.”

And then you pushed through the group to go find your friends who you were bound to find eating in the courtyard instead of studying. Smart kids never studied and neither did dumb kids. When Crabbe and Goyle were there it was easy to tell the difference, but other times, not so much. Allegedly (again, I say this to protect the integrity of the tale you would later tell), you stopped half a step through and turned to show Potter your badge.

“Draco says you really like them,” you laughed, “Get a closer look.”

Desperate for your help and willing to do anything, Potter leaned closer to watch as the red ‘Support Cedric’ turned to the green ‘Potter stinks’ but then a forth colour emerged, a deep purple with no writing. He opened his mouth to ask what that colour meant, but was abruptly cut off when the badge squirted the most revolting smelling purple goo all over him. Again, allegedly, you had cursed it to do that when it saw his face… You would argue that someone must have cursed it prior to giving it to you without your knowing.

“Now you really do stink!” You had smiled sarcastically, “Bye now.”

You then continued on your journey to find your friends, leaving Potter drenched in the most malodorous thing he had ever smelt.

Later that very same day, he had approached you at lunch with a bribe. Oh, how you loved to be bribed. You were like a politician in that sense. He placed two objects in front of you: a book you knew was from the restricted section titled ‘Advanced Curses and How to Master Them,’ and a purse full of coins which, after peeking through the opening at the top, you realised were all gold.

“You know, you shouldn’t bribe people so out in the open, Potter,” You motioned to Theo, Pansy and Draco, all of whom were giving you looks that asked what in the name of Salazar were you doing, “It’s… counterproductive.”

“Merlin’s beard, L/n, just take it and help me,” Potter said.

“Is he bothering you, Y/n?” Theo asked.

You’d glanced between your boyfriend and Potter, wondering what to do in the situation. Potter noticed you’d become flustered at being put on the spot like that, even mentioned it to McGonagall. Truthfully, your head was telling you to say no because you knew as well as anyone how Theo could be when you were uneasy. He was awfully protective. But your heart wanted you to say yes so you could start a little fight and make your friends and Theo proud. You were never quite as provocative as they were when it came to the whole Slytherin-Gryffindor thing and it made you slightly self conscious, to be honest.

You would tell McGonagall that your head won, and Potter had started the fight. Theo was only defending you from the very scary Gryffindor who had decided to attack you just because you didn’t want to help him out earlier. But, in all honesty, your heart had won, or so the story goes.

“Yes, Teddy, he’s been bothering me all day,” you had said.

“How ‘bout you leave, Potter?” Theo asked, but it was hardly a question.

Potter rolled his eyes, “We had a deal, L/n.”

“I don’t think she would’ve agreed to anything with you,” Theo said and (allegedly) shoved Potter from across the table.

It was at that point that all hell broke loose. Potter’s explanation of the situation was riddled with what you would call lies about getting his shit rocked by Theo’s incredible fighting skills. You’d bloodied your boyfriend up afterwards using a little glamour charm you kept handy in case of emergencies. That was yet another way you were like a politician, you were incredible at deceiving people. On the off chance McGonagall noticed the charm, Theo had agreed to take the fall and stage an argument with you where you’d break up with him. The relationship wouldn’t be destroyed, you’d just act strained for a week or so while he did detention.

“Miss L/n, these are a lot of accusations being thrown,” McGonagall said, her eyes staring down at you over her nose, “What say you?”

You let your bottom lip quiver, but you wouldn’t dare cry. That would be too much and she wouldn’t believe you for a second. You may have had a good reputation, but she loved Potter and co. and had a huge bias in their favour. You had to be so convincing that she wouldn’t have a single doubt.

“I just didn’t want to get involved,” you said, “Professor, I’m a Slytherin, there’s a certain… standard that I’m held to. I told Potter that I didn’t want to help him because everyone would be upset with me and he tried to bribe me of his own accord.”

“She’s obviously lying, Professor, please—”

“Miss Granger, Miss L/n didn’t interrupt your telling of events, I suggest you don’t interrupt hers.”

You continued to lie through your teeth like a professional. You’d think McGonagall would know to use a truth serum when dealing with teenagers, but she was too trusting. Photographs of former students were framed on her desk, others who likely lied to her as you were doing. They were mostly Gryffindors, for obvious reasons, but there were Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and the odd Slytherin as well, all of them moving slightly in celebration of their graduations. Potter and co. would likely end up on that desk one day and while you’d hope yourself and your friends would end up on Snape’s, he had never come across as the sentimental type.

“One of you aren’t telling me the truth,” McGonagall said with a sigh once you had finished your recount, “Know that I’m disappointed in you but I cannot be bothered to deal with this today. If I hear about troubles with you lot again I will not hesitate to give you all detention.”

A chorus of ‘yes, Professor’s filled the room before she shooed you all out to go your separate ways. At the door to her office which she had closed behind the four of you, or rather, the two and two of you, Theo turned to the others.

“Don’t start things you can’t finish, Potter,” he said with a snarky tone.

Potter and Granger hardly acknowledged the remark, and you found yourself missing the weasel boy who would have leapt at the opportunity to throw something back. At your core, you liked to consider yourself morally good, but Merlin’s beard, you were a bit of an instigator, perhaps even a bully, weren’t you? You glanced at Theo, who you hadn’t realised had begun a little bit of a rant about blood superiority, and laughed out loud.

“What?” He asked you, his head on the slightest tilt that it was hardly noticeable.

“I think you and the others have turned me into a bad person,” you giggled, biting your lip.

“Y/n/n, that’s so fucking mean,” he said, “You are so rude.”

“I learnt from the best,” you teased as you poked his arm.

Theo shook his head and captured your arm in his so the two of you could walk back to the Slytherin dorms together.

[nattblacklupin]

Never was much of a romantic 2

Pairing: Cassian x fem! illyrian! Reader

Summary: Cassian and Y/N found out they are mates. (Part two would recommend reading Part one, but it can be read as stand-alone)

Warnings: The first half is fluff the second smut (you can choose which one you will read or if both)(MDNI 18+ for the second half), praise kink, Cassian calls Reader slut (in nice way), p in v, oral fem receiving, lots of dirty talk (like lot lot), dry humping, thigh riding, kinda rough

Part one ● masterlist

Y/N couldn't contain her shock - you're telling her that the god who stands in front of her, general of the night court armies, Lord of bloodshed is her mate?

Not just her saviour or for some time her idol. But her mate.

"You're my mate," you stated as if it wasn't obvious, as if it was some dirty secret you both share. ,,and you're mine, " responded Cassian with the same intensity, his face slowly turning into one of pure happiness. His hands found your waist and tugged you closer to him. Your chest on his as you looked at his lips. They were full and pink, and you wondered how they would feel on yours. Cassian, luckily, didn't let you wait for long and closed the gap that was bettwen you two.

His kiss was everything except what you expected. He kissed you gently, like he was scared he's gonna break you, like you would disappear under his touch, and all of this would be just dream. Dream from whose you both would wake up gasping, wishing for more.

Both of you parted breathing heavily. "I swear to protect you till my last breath. No one will hurt you now, " Cassian said like his whole life purpose now was you and your safety. "Hm, I would for sure like that general"

His whole body stiffed, and you knew that the title did something to him. Cause the next second, his lips were back at yours with more intensity than before.

"You two should get room before I personally kick you out of there," both of you ignored Devlon. Like he wasn't there, the only thing that mattered was your newfound bond. Devlon probably took it as his sign to leave, of course not without babbling to himself. But you couldn't bring yourself to care. He can give you harder training or force you to not train tomorrow. Now cassian was the only one who mattered.

"He was probably right, sweetheart." You just nodded, too breathless to even answer. He laughed at that "such a effect I hold over you, and we didn't even start property yet"

You gave him look full of suprise "you...really want to accept the bond with me?" Cassian looked at you like you had two heads."I just made out with you in the middle of illyrian camp, and you thought I would reject you?" You looked away in shame. He was right. If he didn't want you, he would leave a long time ago.

He put his hand on your cheek, and you melted in his touch.

,,sweetie, I swear to Mother that I will be there for you no matter what. Not even death can keep me away from you now that I finally have you. I will kill for you. Just one word and whole word will fall down to your knees. I promise to worship you as a goodness you are. " his forehead met yours in a gesture that made his words sound even more genuine.

You couldn't help the words that left you afterwards, maybe it was too fast. Maybe you two were rushing things, being careless. But at the end of the day, he was your mate, and your love should last forever.

"I love you, Cassian." his smile grew bigger, and he kissed the top of your nose.

"I love you more"

(Smut from now)

You didn't even know when you got to your cabin or how Cassian knew where to go, but you were glad that you got there.

His lips never left yours while he navigated you to the closest surface. He put his hands on your waist and put you on the cabin you have in your hallway.

"First time with your mate, and you won't even take me in bed?" You said breathlessly while running your hand over his whole frame. His muscles flexed under your hands when he whispered in your ear "Don't worry mate, I will take you everywhere in this house, in every fucking position until you can't remember anything other than me. I will keep you on my cock till it molds into you and no one will ever satisfy you as I do"

You clenched your thighs at his words, and your arousal could be smelled everywhere. "I will take good care of you. Treat you really well. " His kisses moved from your lips to your neck, and he didn't stop there. In moment your shirt was laying on the ground, you didn't care, you didn't care that at the end of the night you probably are going to need new furniture, you didn't care that the whole camp will hear both of you. Nothing was more important than his lips on your neck.

Your hands tugged at his hair when he put you on his thigh. "C'mon baby, show me what you got." That was the last motivation you needed as you slowly started to move your hips. He put his hands on your hips and helped you move faster.

"That's right, you're doing a good job." You started moving even faster. Muscles on his thigh pleasurably stimulating your clit making you moan Cassians name like a prayer. "Yeah baby, that's it." You felt yourself coming closer to the edge, your moans getting louder and your breaths getting more rigid, when suddenly everything stopped. "Cass -" you whimper. "Sorry, sweetheart, but your first orgasm is going to be on my tongue." He whispers in your lips while going down on his knees.

He hooks his fingers in the band of your pants and slowly takes them down, edging you and making you irritated at him. First, he doesn't let you come, and then he's slow with it, too.

"Cassian... please." You never was the type to beg, but for this man, you would do everything he asked you to. "Don't be impatient, baby," He looks up while kissing your inner thigh. "I will give you everything you desire"

Gods were on your side cause it didn't take him that much time to take down your underwear. Through you half lidded eyes, you looked at him. He looked so pretty on his knees just for you. His hair falls from his bun just perfectly, and his hazel eyes look at you with a look that nearly brings you to knees with him. "You're so pretty," you said at the same time his tongue took first lick of your cunt. His licks were gentle and careful. Like he was on battlefield, thinking of all possibilities, making plans to win the battle. He for sure was making plans to win this battle.

His licks stayed gentle only for some while, which you couldn't help but be glad for. There is no room for patience when you have this beautiful man under you. His lips curled around your clitoris while his finger slowly made way into you and started moving and stretching you out. You tried to hold in your moans, covering your mouth with your hands to let out only a minimum of the sounds you're making, too embarrassed about how this man makes you feel in way no one else ever did. But soon, your hands were against the wall in iron grip. "Never hide your moans from me. They are the most beautiful melody I ever heard, " that made you moan louder. Cassian hummed in approval against your clitoris and it was the last thing you needed to come.

You swear you never came so hard like now. Cassian slowly stood up, his mouth shining in light from your juices. He licks around his mouth, looking like a starved man. "You taste delicious, my little mate." Without giving you time to respond, he took you in his arms and walked to your bedroom.

He put you on your bed and took off the rest of his clothes as fast as he could. He leaned towards you, his lips meeting yours in another fight of dominance, even if you both knew who would win. "Take me, take me now, Cassian." He smiled against your lips while teasing your entrance with his tip. "Magic word?"

"Please, I beg you, fuck me like there is no tomorrow. Fuck me like I'm nothing more than your slut" Cassian pushed himself into you in one thrust "someone would like to be my slut, hm" he hummed while staying still inside of you, making sure you're ready for him. "Yes, please,"

He didn't need anything more and started moving inside of you. Both of you moaned loudly at that sensation and couldn't keep your moans to yourself. "Yeah that's good, my pretty little slut. Go on moan for me, let the whole Windhaven hear who you belong to"

His eyes were buried in yours. One of his hands was holding your hand while the other was massaging your boob. He thought that you looked like divine goodness, goodness at his mercy, goodness that belongs to him. He will thank the mother for the rest of his life for giving you him. He couldn't help himself but get faster and rougher. The thought of you being just his made him feral.

"Cass I-" his hand caressed your face "I know sweetheart, come on my cock" With loud moan you had your second orgams of the night which totally wasn't the last one.

Your cunt was clenching him so good he couldn't help but cum right after you. With last powerful thrust of his hips, he filled you up and then fell next to you. You turned to him and cuddled to his side. "That was something," you said breathlessly, never feeling such pleasure as you did with him. "I want round two." Cassian laughed at you and, with a smile on his face, kissed you till you both were breathless.

"Your wish is my command"

[rainylana]

“My angel baby, I’m here.”

Eddie Munson x female reader

summary: eddie finds out that you self harm.

warnings: reader self harms and is severely depressed, undertones of poor eating habits but very brief, language, lots of tears, blood, angst to the max, mentions of periods.

a/n: this is the longest that i’ve posted yet since getting back into writing and i’m super happy with how it turned out! it is a sensitive topic so it won’t be for everyone. this is dedicated to all the ones who can relate to this fic. i hope you all have an eddie in times when it gets too much. please let me know what you think. it means the world and more than you can imagine.

You knew that what you did was not healthy. You knew it was sick and messed up. You knew that if anyone found out, they’d think that you were insane. The scars you gave yourself had no real reason to be there. You blamed yourself for that. You didn’t know how to deal with your issues any other way. The moment you were alone you’d drift off to the bathroom, turn the shower on and begin your twisted ritual of self abrasions.

Life for you was difficult, but still, marking your self up was no excuse. You had tried to quiet, of course. Many times you had, but it was a habit you could not break. You were too used to doing it. It was an everyday thing. It was like breathing. You breath to live. You can’t not just breath. So for you, cutting yourself was like breathing. You didn’t think you could stop. It helped you deal with your pain.

If you’d have known what the evening was going to hold for you, you would have slit your throat the moment you woke up.

Darkness clouded your mind. Sitting in class, the fog you knew well was storming your brain cells, making everything else fuzzy and hard to understand. Everyone looked blurry, their faces funny and distorted. They sounded odd. Your heart ached and sunk into the pit of your stomach like it always did. You had no way of explaining what this feeling was and what it meant, but you didn’t like it at all. Once it got you, it had you.

You didn’t try to share any of this with Eddie. You didn’t want him to know how much you struggled. Scaring him away was your worst fear. It was why you never let him see the tops of your thighs. Sex was always under the covers. Lights off. Eddie didn’t complain of course. To him, sex was sex.

And god, did you love him. You loved him with your whole heart and soul. You’d be devastated if he knew your secret. It felt awful to bare, this huge burden you carried on your shoulders. You wondered if any of your other classmates shared it too. There was a darkness in your heart that was eating you alive.

“Babe,” A warm, thick hand grabbed your shoulder, pulling you from sinking to the bottom of the pool you were drowning in.

“Huh?” You said a little louder than you’d realized, blinking rapidly as your vision spun around the room. “What?”

You turned around in your seat to find Eddie’s doe eyes narrowed. “You good?” He whispered, leaning closer. “You’ve been staring at the floor for fifteen minutes.” Your class wasn’t even doing anything important. You had a sub, so everyone was doing their own studying or reading. Eddie had been talking to you until you drifted off.

“Oh, yeah.” You nodded with a swallow, grabbing his hand that still laid on your shoulder. “Sorry, Ed.”

“Just checking on my girl.” He gave you a wink that made you blush. “You coming over tonight?”

“Yeah.” You whispered with a fake smile, exhaustion taking over. He could see the way your lips had faltered. You turned back around and laid your head on your desk, arms being your pillow.

Eddie stared at you.

He might not have been the brightest bulb in the shed, but he knew you weren’t the happiest girl in the world. He knew you were sad and weren’t telling him about it. He didn’t know why, but he wasn’t going to pressure you into it, but still, he was worried about you. He wished for one night that they both could talk about you instead of his problems for a change.

Maybe tonight could be the night.

•

You must’ve gotten your period, he figured. Here it was four o’clock in the morning, and for some reason he couldn’t sleep. He had gotten up to get a glass of water but stopped when he’d seen blood seeping through the tops of your sweatpants, the blankets kicked down below your feet.

“Babe,” He said groggily, giving your shoulder a light shake. “Y/n, wake up.”

You hummed back asleep.

“Y/n, I think you got your period,” He rubbed his eyes, leaning over you to switch on the light. “You’re bleeding.”

That woke you up. “Huh?” Your eyes went wide and you sat up. “Oh,” You gasped upon seeing the red leaks of blood seeping from your sweatpants. An inhumane shock of terror left your throat and you leapt from the bed to disappear into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

Eddie, thinking it was your period, thought it was a little funny, even if he was exhausted. He got up and followed you to the door. “Baby, hey, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. I’ll get some new sheets from the closet, alright? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

You didn’t respond. He waited for a moment to see if you would. He even knocked a few times before giving up and switching out the sheets on the bed. In fact, he did a lot before you actually came out. He changed the bed entirely, knocking again until you muttered a shaky response that you’d be out soon. He bit his thumb nail and paced for another five minutes before he went out for a smoke. He remained seated on the bed when you finally came out.

When he saw you, he knew something was deeply wrong. Your face was white and you were visibly shaken. Your face was stained with dried tears, your eyes bloodshot. Your heart felt like it was broken. This was too close. Nobody had ever gotten this close of finding out. The idea of him knowing made you feel sick. It was your burden and yours alone. It was yours. As sick as it was, it was who you were. Who were you if you didn’t do this? You were so used to it. It was routine for you. Half of the time you did it just to….well, just to do it, to feel something. You were addicted.

“Y/n,” Eddie glanced you over. “what’s wrong? Are you alright?” He stepped toward you, grabbing your elbows lightly. “Hey,”

You sniffled and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go to bed.” You dismissed, now wearing a pair of dark leggings.

“Wait— babe, you’re crying,” He followed you to the bed, watching as you fixed the blanket over yourself. “Are you sick?”

“No, Eddie, I’m fine.” You adjusted your pillow, your body shutting down into survival mode. You needed the situation to be dismissed, shut down. “I’m sorry about the blood, was just my period.”

He sat down on the bed by your thighs. “Don’t be sorry bout’ that, honey. Just want to make sure you’re alright. You need anything? You want some water or something?”

“Eddie, I’m okay.” You stressed, laying down and turning your back to him. “Just forget about it, please.” Your voice broke.

He absolutely did not want to forget about it, not with the way you were trying not to cry. He sat there in the same spot for almost three minutes, eyes glued to your cheek. “Y/n,” He said again. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

You groaned into the pillow. “Damnit, Eddie, lay down!”

“See, I know you,” He shook his head. “You would never be this bothered over your period. Hell, last month you chased me around with your tampon!” He said bewildered, chuckling slightly. “Something else is wrong and you’re not telling me, and when something makes my girl cry, I want to know what it is, so tell me what’s got you so worked up, huh?”

You let out a sob and curled into yourself. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. God, you were so stupid. You shouldn’t have cut so deep.

“Baby,” Eddie frowned, leaning down to lay his torso on you, his chin laying on your shoulder so he could look at you. “Did I hurt your feelings today? Did I say something?”

“No.” You cried into your pillow. “No, Eddie, it’s not you. I promise, it isn’t you.”

He thought maybe he should just drop it, let you go to sleep and maybe it would be okay in the morning, but you were still crying, little puffs and pouts here and there. He couldn’t just dismiss that.

“It’s me.” You found yourself saying, out of the blue.

“What?” He missed what you had said. “I can’t hear you, honey.” He strained his ears to hear you.

“It’s fucking me!” You sobbed into your pillow, chest heaving with a heavy breath that made him jolt. “I’m the fucking problem!”

He had no idea why you were so upset. He didn’t know what to do. He gulped harshly. “Y/n,” He cooed, shushing you gently. He scooted closer, holding you tighter to place a kiss on your temple. “I’m here, baby. Shh, shh, I’m here.”

You let go, sobbing in his arms and into your wet pillow, you broke down in sobs. Most of it was just because you were purely exhausted and you were emotionally drained, depressed. This week you were in a deeper funk than what you’ve normally been in. You hadn’t been eating properly to start. Your showers consisted of laying on the floor and imaging yourself drowning. The idea of Eddie knowing your secret made you want to die, yet you spoke anyway.

“I’m so sad.” You whimpered while Eddie rocked you in his arms, his hands stroking your hair.

He’d thought maybe you’d fallen asleep. You’d been quiet for several minutes. “Why, baby?” He kissed your shoulder.

“I don’t know,” You thought, a crinkle in your nose as you tried to reason why you felt the way you did. “Something is wrong with me, Eddie.”

You were starting to scare him. He’d never heard you talk like this before. He swallowed hard, batting his eyes across the room like his answers were a poster on the wall. “Y/n, if you tell me maybe I can help you.”

God, was help possible? Could you stop? Did you even want to? Who were you if you didn’t have that one constant in your life?

The idea brought on a wave of fresh tears, your lips turning down in a blubbering frown. “You’ll think I’m disgusting.” Your back shook against his broad, bare chest. “You won’t— you won’t ever look at me the same. You’ll think…fuck, you’ll think I’m disgusting.” You sobbed broken-hearted.

Eddie started at your face, features masked in concern. He didn’t know what to do to make you feel better, and his mind was flashing the worst things that could’ve made you so upset, his imagination getting the best of him.

“Sweetheart, I promise whatever you think I’m going to say or do isn’t true.” He leaned over to wipe a tear. “I’m going to love you no matter what you say. That’s how this works, remember? Please, baby, tell me. You’re worrying me.”

Guilt made your heart pound. You let out a long mewl, curling up like a cat so you could cry. Eddie still didn’t let you go. This was your nightmare, yet you, yourself, were making it come true.

“I didn’t get my period.” You said with wet lashes.

“What do you mean?” He narrowed his eyes down at you.

You let out a sob, holding a hand to your stomach. “I mean, I- fuck, I didn’t get my..my- period!” You hyperventilated through your breath.

“Shh, calm down, sweetheart, you don’t have to rush,” He soothed you, rubbing your arms. “Come on, sit up with me.” He gently lifted you by the torso, your hair cascading down your back. You looked like a scared little girl. Your eyes were wet and your face was soaked like you’d been laying in the rain. Eddie sighed, his mouth in a frown as he tried to help you.

“Breath, honey,” He fixed your hair, smoothing it down in rough places.

“I’m so sorry.” You whimpered, grabbing his hands tightly, squeezing them.

“Don’t be.” He shook his head. “Nothing to be sorry for, angel. Just want you to tell me what’s got you so upset. What is it that you want to tell me?” He knew whatever it was, you wanted to tell him. And deep down, you did. Maybe that was why you couldn’t shut the hell up.

“I’m so scared.” You shuttered a breath. “I’m so scared that you’ll…what you’ll think of me.”

His heart was beating loud in his chest. “You said that you didn’t get your period,” He tried to question you gently. “What does that mean?”

Did you really want to do this? Did you want to just let it all go within a blink of an eye? Truthfully, yeah. Yeah, you did. You couldn’t do it anymore. At least not alone.

You sat up slightly, fingertips grabbing the waistband of your sweats as you tugged them down to your knees. You didn’t look at him as you sank back down to sit on your ankles.

“I cut too deep.” You wept, staring down at your thighs. It was your canvas, your target area. They were scared on every inch. Some white and faded with age, some angry and red.

When Eddie saw them, it connected all dots instantly. His eyes widened in horror at your legs. They looked absolutely terrifying. He couldn’t help let out a gasp. “Oh, god, y/n,”

His large palms ghosted over them, and he leaned down so he could examine them closer. “Jesus,” His own eyes blurred with tears, his bottom lip quivering with emotion.

“I know,” You shook your head shamefully. “I know, Eddie, but I can’t help it.” You lifted your head up as you shuttered out a tearful breath. “I can’t stop no matter how hard I try. It’s the only thing that helps me.”

“God, y/n,” He traced your scars with his fingertips, jaw fallen slack in shock.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You bawled. “I’m so…I don’t know, I’m just- just- so miserable and it’s the only thing that seems to help. I’m just so used to doing it and I don’t think I can stop!” You blubbered, snot dripping onto your cupid’s bow and dipping into your lip.

Eddie’s head snapped up. “Oh, baby, come here.” He grabbed you and pulled you into his lap. You crawled to him immediately. He cradled your back as you threw your legs around his waist, your chests flush together in a bear hug. You sobbed into his shoulder, his kisses peppering your neck. “I’m here, I’m here.” He repeated.

“My angel baby, I’m here.”

Your body wracked with moans and groans of heartbreak, but you couldn’t deny the amount of relief that left your soul. It finally wasn’t alone on your shoulders. “God, Eddie, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t.” Eddie hushed you. “You have nothing, nothing at all to be sorry about. I should be apologizing. I should have realized. I had no idea you were unhappy.”

“I’m so fucked up,” Your voice muffled against his skin. “I don’t even know why I’m sad I just- I just am! It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Stop saying that.” He held the back of your head with his palm. “How you feel is perfectly understandable. I’m glad you told me. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, okay? Baby, I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this alone, but I’m right here now, okay? I’m gonna help you through this. I’m gonna help you rise above this because you’re so strong and you don’t even realize it. But you’re my girl and I know.” He rocked you in his arms, cradled you like a baby as you cried. “I know, baby, I’m here, I’ve got you honey.”

“Please, help me.” You fisted his curls, your chest hollow, yet heavy with emotion. “I need help.”

He nodded, whispering soothing words of encouragement as he fought off a wave of tears. “You can get past this. I did.”

You pulled away, your face an absolute mess. Red, snotty and tearful. Your lips pulled down in the deepest of frowns. “Oh, Eddie,”

He turned his elbow in a 90 degree angle, and angle you’ve never exactly examined, and cried when you saw the faded white scars. You went right back to his chest, holding him like a teddy bear. “Oh, Eddie, I love you so much. I’m so sorry.”

He held you close and kissed your shoulder, allowing one singular tear to spill that you didn’t have to see. He stopped when he met you. You were his saving grace. He’d be sure and do the same for you. His angel baby.

[psychicdamaged]

Quotes from EXU Calamity I'll Be Thinking About for the Rest of Time

"Of course I'm safe. You'd never let anything happen to me." / "I would never let anything happen to you."

"Dad. You know I won't look like this when you get home."

There are a lot of stories in Exandria of mortals who stumbled their way into Feywild and fell in love with an enchanting fairy that they met there. But there's one story of a fairy who stumbled into this world and fell in love.

And in that instant realizes you can hold all the knowledge in the world. But if it dies with you, it doesn't matter.

"I promised you I'd never forget." / "I promised you I wouldn't either."

You hear in your heart, "Darling, no."

Do I know? Do I feel it? That he's gone? / You do.

Laerryn's screams fill whatever secret hallway she's in.

"No, baby. I'll always have my eye on you." And I squeeze their hands.

"I don't know how deeply you have sacrificed to do what must be done, but I know this: There is no god that strides this world that I worship more than I worship your heart... I bear your name. I bear it on this stone. And one day, I will bring you home."

In the kiss, I'll cast Cure Wounds on you.

"It's all on you, smart girl."

And I'll just turn my back on the door and let it close. / No! No, you have to go.

"I'm sorry, my lady. I love you, but I love another more" / "My child, my heart breaks. But I would rather mine break and yours be kept whole."

"But our two cities are like a married couple. We may have our differences. But we are connected by love for eternity. We made a promise to each other, and it's one we must fulfill."

"...and remember the Architect Arcane, Laerryn, the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Yes, it's me. Just look at my eyes. Don't look at anything else. Just look at my eyes, please."

I've kept so many of my thoughts and dreams and wishes for him. I hand it to him. I set it on the ground because I don't expect him to actually take it from my hands. "This is for you. Everything you've ever wanted to know about me and your father, it's here."

"Dad, dad, wait. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." "You have nothing to be sorry about." / "I do." You see, you haven't even looked in his hands. He's holding a basket with a spell kite attached.

"I don't know why I didn't send it." / "I know why, and it's okay. It's okay. Elias, I love you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Everything that I wished for you to know about me, it's in this book. Take it with you. You'll always be five years old to me no matter how much you grow."

You know me. I would never have let my guard down like that. I took those blows.

As I go down, I make sure I don’t miss

"I know what you gave. You found a path beyond the stars. I do not know whence the gods came from, but I know that you found it in your heart. I promise you, Zerxus, I will find that place. I will find the secret of how these worlds were made, and I will come and find you and bring you home."

"Yes, brother. All will be well."

"You think we'll ever get there one day?" / "Of course we will. We're the Okiros."

When you think of the future and what people will say of this time, do you think anyone will talk about how beautiful your dream was? / No. But that's all right, because it was real for us. For those who survived, they will remember, and it will inspire them to dream of things far greater.

What are Patia's final thoughts? / Just that there are many more dreams to come.

"I've been able to become anyone I want my whole life, but I just want to be with you."

"And for whatever time we have left, I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you." / "I love you, too." I'll just kiss her.

"The Brass Ring endures. I want you to know you gave us a chance." / I don't think you hear anything back. Just, you feel relief.

The fire, as brightly as it may burn, does not burn so brightly as your love, which shines the brightest in your last moment, having given this world a chance. Ash, heat, rising faster than you can imagine from the earth. And on a 31, at the very top of that cloud, the last member of the Brass Ring gets to keep his promise to his family.

You fly for weeks over oceans choked by ash and soot. You don't get to give your kids the world that they deserve, but you get to give them the world that they can fight for with you.

In Exandria, I don't know that your story will long be known. I don't know who will remain to tell it. But it did happen and it did matter. And though Calamity is here, because of you, it will not be here forever.

[manjiroscum]

MARRY? KILL? FUCK!

CHARACTER/S: Bonten

WARNINGS: f!reader, explicit sex, mature language, threesome, a bit of slut shaming, bonten just being bonten, doggystyle, full nelson, protected sex (use of pills), creampie, just a lot of filth :p, sanzu's a bit of an asshole, strip game, and use of pet names. Minors do not interact.

NOTE: hi! here is the third fic for the collection :) took a lot of time bc uni and life got too hectic huhu anyway, i hope you enjoy it! (⁠ノ⁠^⁠_⁠^⁠)♪

MASTERLIST

SYNOPSIS: Another slow day at work meant more shenanigans to occur. Haruchiyo Sanzu was adamant to cause trouble and to have you bent over the desk for everyone to see.

WC: 1k

The chances of being shot in the head by Bonten’s notorious pink-haired assailant had a much lower probability of happening than the wine bottle never landing on you. The whole ordeal wouldn't have been daunting if it were a normal truth-or-dare game. But of course, the rest of Bonten’s higher-ups were bored out of their minds and suggested a little twist in the game. It was either you picked truth or dare and did them… Or avoid it and strip. Lips in a grim line, you ignored the drunken hollers by the Haitani brothers as you unbuttoned your blouse. There was no way in hell you would admit that you slept with Takeomi in Mikey’s office due to a bet you made with Rindou.

No way in hell.

Curse these bastards for inviting you, their ever-lovely secretary, to this stupid game when you could've gone home early since Mikey wasn't around. When the big cat wasn't around to intimidate, every rotten mouse was up to play. And play, they did. Sanzu was even more adamant about making you answer the most difficult questions because it was fun to torment you especially now that you were only clad in your stockings, pencil skirt, underwear, and bra.

“Seriously, this game must be rigged!” You sat back down, brows furrowed and unaware of the lingering gazes on your supple breasts covered by a lace bra. “Most of you guys haven't even stripped much. Why am I getting the craziest dares and questions, huh?”

This was definitely to teach you a lesson not to get ahead with yourself thinking you can best these men in a game. As much as you knew their dirty secrets within the organization, they too, knew yours. What made them annoyingly frustrating to deal with was how they utilized it to bring you to your knees.

“Alright then,” Rindou rubbed his hands as if he has foreseen the future when the bottle pointed at you and him. Fighting back the urge to slap yourself for joining this stupid game, you listened as he gave you the options. “Truth or dare, princess. What do you choose?”

To use your answers against you was what Sanzu Haruchiyo and Haitani Rindou were begrudgingly good at. This tactic had you stripping your pencil skirt when you refused to answer the question Rindou gave you and the dare option was as equally brazen. Perhaps after a few more rounds, you were sure you would exit the building all nude. However, just as you were about to spill your woes, the pink-haired man got up and instantly pulled you from your seat without breaking a sweat. The next thing you know, you were bent over Mikey’s desk. Eyes wide, you blinked twice.

“W-what the—”

“Why won’t you answer the simple question, sweetheart? We’re not gonna kill ‘ya if your pussy decides it likes me better than Ran.”

“Sanzu, you dick, I heard that!”

The scars on either side of his lips stretched as he grinned down at your vulnerable form, his hard-on pressed against your ass that was too difficult to ignore. Wishing for it to go away would be stupid to do as well.

“I mean, aren’t you curious boys? A simple question as to who she wants to kill, marry or fuck isn’t something that’ll cause us to slit each other's throats. A slut like her should be shared by us.” Pulling back, Sanzu stepped aside for everyone to see your ass still clad in your panties. But not for long as he hooked his finger and pulled down the lacy thong, tongue tucked between his lips as he did so.

Such an obedient thing you were, spouting for him to stop yet doing nothing to make him halt in his actions. A few of the men swallowed hard at the sight of your bare ass and damp pussy lips, aching to fill your holes.

“Gonna ask you one last time, sweetheart. Be a dear and answer Rin’s question. He thought long and hard about it, you see.” Ignoring the huff the younger Haitani made, Sanzu smirked. “Fuck, marry, kill? Unless of course, you’re such a big slut that you want to fuck us all?”

The safest answer you took was what led you to be on all fours, Ran’s cock in your mouth and Sanzu thrusting his from behind. Rindou’s thick fingers were busy toying with your nipples as Kakucho rubbed himself to the sinful scene in front of him. Milky semen coated your back, belonging to the brothers and Kakucho after being coaxed by Sanzu to see who has the thickest load that will definitely knock you up. You ignored their silly banter, trusting the pill you religiously took. The air conditioner in Mikey’s office was either broken or was blowing cold air quite poorly due to how hot your flesh felt against their cool skin. The sound of flesh smacking against flesh echoed around, driving you all insane. Your eyes rolled back at Sanzu’s long cock hitting that favorite spot of yours.

They continued to switch positions, adamant for everyone to have at least a turn inside your cum-filled pussy. You felt your lower stomach bloat up at how much semen was inside. The game and wine bottle were forgotten, replaced with a much more engaging game where nobody loses. This was what you’ve always wanted, a secret you’ve kept to yourself. And now that it was happening, perhaps the teasing at the strip game earlier was worth going through.

“Too bad Takeomi and Mikey are missing out on this cunt.”

“Nah, the old man would probably complain about his back and Mikey’s not interested whenever we’re around.”

“Hey, Kaku, she’s blacking out. Wake her up.”

Kakucho hoisting you up and doing the standing full nelson position wasn’t something you anticipated. Everyone was amazed at how much of their cum spilled out when he thrust his thick cock inside your weeping pussy, your teeth gritted at the tight fit. He has always been the biggest of them, rendering you a bit dizzy as he pistoned his hips. Not minding your fucked up state, Sanzu bent down to be on eye level with you, a grin on his pretty face.

“What do you say after we grant your wish, sweetheart?”

“T-thank, a-ah, hu…♡”

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[hastyprovocateur]

An analysis of Mizu×Akemi

Mizu gave up Akemi to Lord Daichi's men saying her path of revenge has no room for "love, friendship or weakness." She looked Ringo up and down at "weakness" after which he got offended and ended his apprenticeship for not helping Akemi. Mizu's eyes held guilt as Akemi cried out for her, hoping to be by Mizu's side and not go through with her marriage to the Shogun's son. Mizu was aware that if she fought Daichi's men, it meant more would be coming, which inadvertently meant more time having Akemi around, growing close to her... peering into her soul, breaking some walls... like she did at Madam Kaji's when she lay bare the fact that she's not the killer she pretends to be. Which was hammer meets nail as far as Mizu's singular purpose is concerned. It also means a lot that Mizu's appearance in itself wasn't scary to Akemi, or worthy of contempt despite being an aristocrat in an extremely xenophobic time. Racism should've been her second language but she doesn't exercise it. She only noted the distress evident in Mizu's behavior. Her rage- "Your face isn't even so scary... you're just... angry."

The thing about noticing is... you keep noticing more. Especially someone as observant and calculated as Akemi. Mizu was aware of this, hence why she tested Akemi's mettle in the brothel knowing she was the princess all along, trying to get under her skin instead of the other way around- "You thought I wouldn't recognize you?" casting back to the very intense first sight exchanged between the two on the bridge in ep 1. Mizu looked up with little interest, yet the stoic samurai's jaw dropped upon their prolonged eye contact and she tracked the palanquin long after Akemi had left her line of sight. It's implicit that love, friendship, and weakness represent Akemi, Taigen, and Ringo respectively. When Ringo questioned why Mizu let the princess go, she stated that Akemi's "better off" almost following up with "without me." She didn't deem her marriage to the Shogun as favourable, hell, she was unimpressed by the fact that Akemi was trying to save her doomed engagement with Taigen, telling her she's "begging to eat trash" despite being a "magical forest creature," who could have anything she wants. Mizu still considered it the lesser evil as opposed to spending time alone with her.

This isn't the case with Taigen, whom she is decidedly more comfortable with even though he threatens her, and calls her slurs. In part, Mizu believes that she deserves the hatred. She's more familiar with it. With her past where she was the demon as opposed to the future where she could be loved. Imagining true love is cruel for Mizu so she rejects it and embraces her darkness. It protects her from people actually seeing her as a person. As a whole. She can loathe herself in peace. She can be a vessel of revenge. She even promised Taigen the duel he wanted to up and kill her in exchange for his honour. Believing she won't have much to live for after concluding her revenge. Akemi is not the same. She never wished to hurt Mizu, going only so far as to try and drug her, until Mizu made her believe she killed her fiancé. Akemi was soon able to see Mizu's honour when she fought alone against the Thousand Clawed to protect Kaji's girls. Akemi was bent on helping, braving the trained men to protect Ringo and then to save Mizu's life from the man who almost choked her to death.

I will forever love the detail of her vulnerability in the face of death being mirrored by Mizu's own intimacy with Mikio in the flashback, letting her body serve love over rage for once. Engaging in sex was a huge step towards transparency on Mizu's part. Also, the fact that Akemi, in her little capacity, wielded her knife and pulled the clawed men away from unconscious Mizu, trying to keep their focus on her. Knowing she could very well die. She tells Ringo "I have been a captive my whole life. If I die, I'll die free." And then she goes upstairs saying "Mizu can't hold them off alone." Acting, most likely, out of a place of love. I was also warmed at the instances of Akemi trying to "drug" Mizu before she took on the bitter task of killing Kinuyo and then a few scenes later "slapping her awake" from a burning memory of betrayal. When her father's men came to fetch her, Akemi did not doubt that Mizu would fight for her after she did the same for her, hence her asking for her validation "I'm not going anywhere... right, Mizu?". And Mizu would've fought them for her, what's 3 more men after a whole army? But something prevented her.

To ruin Akemi's strong faith in her then... as opposed to later? When more of her ugliness had spilled before the princess? When both their hearts were more open to be scrutinized by the other? Madam Kaji and Swordfather Eiji are both the motherly and fatherly advice Mizu sorely needs. That fighting is an art, not independent of loving. Mizu cannot evade love if she is to take on a bigger war. She cannot do it alone and the story's purpose keeps circling back to the same lesson. Fighting from a place of hatred can never be stronger than fighting from a place of love. Akemi, evidently, was hoping to seek refuge under Mizu's protection. She is loyal, as she was to Taigen even though he abandoned her in pursuit of his lost honor. But Mizu's betrayal broke her heart. At the end of the Bunraku play in ep 5, Akemi confessed that she met the Onryo but that it was "incapable of love." That she searched his eyes for "love or mercy or good," only finding darkness. Both Mizu and Akemi weighed the merit of love in each other, Mizu pushed Akemi away because she felt love and Akemi avoided Mizu because she felt her lack of love.

Taigen, Mizu's former bully, did learn to respect her as a fighter and comrade. Representing their growing camaraderie, how they fight alongside. Mizu told him about Akemi getting married off to the Shogun's son in her duty to him as a friend. Upon learning that she abandoned Akemi, Taigen is also reasonably pissed. Mizu is on the precipice of the rebirth of her katana. Swordfather is justified in being wary of her guilt and darkness, refusing to aid in her pursuit but only guiding her by way of asking her to seek peace, to unify herself. Which she does by adding Chiaki's broken blade (which Taigen took), Akemi's knife, Eiji's tongs and Ringo's bell into the forge. She is ready to make amends by going to save Akemi, to encourage her to leave with Taigen, to be honorable as Ringo wants, and to find peace as Eiji wishes. And ofc to fuck the shit out of Fowler.

Akemi's repeated assertion of "we are not friends" (accompanied by the angy eyes) when Mizu comes back to save her is reflective of that heartbreak Akemi felt after relying on Mizu for her freedom before. Mizu tries to fix this by showing her a way to Taigen, trying to do right by her, asking "Do you still want your freedom or not." To give her what she wants even if she disapproves of Akemi's choice when she states "He's not a good guy, but he could be a great one." Seki too, gives Akemi a share of her dowry he saved to build a free life "With Taigen, or without." Akemi did end up rejecting the idyllic runaway Taigen was willing to embark on, it is hard to say Mizu would take it as an opportunity to make a move on Taigen after deeming him unsuitable for a partner. It would be against her nature to try to jump in as a lover just because Akemi's out of the picture. Not when she's so hot on the track of striking down Skeffington and Routley. It's pretty straightforward if you ask me.

Mizu is focused on going up for a bigger war. To seek the truth. To turn London upside down to kill all the four white demons that sabotaged her life since conception. This is parallel to Akemi deciding to stay and take control of the Shogunate through her powers over her decidedly meek husband. To take control of her life against all the odds that seek to box her up. I do not doubt that she will move to include Kaji and her girls in her retinue, subdue her father's machinations and rebuild Edo, and wrest power from whoever threatens her. Love doesn't seem to be on her cards. Kaji told her to choose a path of freedom through a man, not to choose a man to love like she'd been doing all along- "Stop running to and from men and decide what you want for your fucking self." Could this mean that Akemi is to never chase men romantically? Either way, Akemi follows through pretty quickly. Takoyoshi is a means to an end. Her sexual prowess was her first tool to entry into the Shogunate. Nothing more than an instrument of control as opposed to her initiating any sort of genuine romantic bond.

I fail to see as of now where Mizu and Taigen's paths collide romantically further since the latter clearly showed his intention to abandon all pursuits of greatness and to settle down. Which is vastly opposed to what Mizu and Akemi are bent on doing. I see a lot of potential there. If anything, Mizu would quite possibly need Akemi's refuge if she were to return to Japan in the wake of the London chaos. They are foils of each other. On the opposite ends of the spectrum with the same stories. Poor-rich, blue-red, water-vermillion, darkened-fair, streetsmart-booksmart, warrior-prostitute, bastard-pureblood, masculine-feminine, caged internally- caged externally, widow-new bride. Both deal with same vindictive self-serving parents. Mizu lost her stand-in mother in ep 5, and Akemi lost Seki at the end of ep 9. Mizu the crashing waves and Akemi the rising flames. Both women. Both so alike yet so different. Mizu's name is pretty straightforward, meaning "water." However Akemi's can be written as "bright sea" or "vermillion beauty" While vermillion is Akemi's colour scheme, "sea" is likely her connection to Mizu.

I find the sex in the show to be representative at best. Borne out of duty or manipulation rather than true love. Just because Akemi and Taigen had sex was no testament to the endurance of the depth of their relationship, same as Mizu and Mikio's wasn't. Akemi's alliances with men have always been influenced by the need to go with or against her father and never her independent choice. Same as Mizu merely agreeing to her mother's insistence on marrying and settling down. I liked the juxtaposition of Mizu being submissive during sex and Akemi being dominant, both with Taigen and Takoyoshi as well as in the brothel. Here, I would extend that this isn't their true nature. Both in marriage or the brothel, sex is labour meant to cater to men. As Seki said a woman can only have fixed paths- "Proper wife or improper whore." I can't imagine Mizu or Akemi being happy as either.

Akemi for the most of S1 only wanted to be loved but was being forced to use her lovemaking skills to steer men into agreeing with her. Playing the improper whore. I imagine that in a safer intimate relationship, she would enjoy being on the bottom, to be protected and pleasured instead of always being the pleasurer. Mizu on the other hand, was shown to deliberately downplay her physical agencies during her marriage, to pretend to not know knife throwing or what she wants during sex, thus settling for whatever her husband had to give lest he feel inferior. I would imagine she'd prefer to be loved in all her proactive masculinity, to not be forced to submit. To not be forced to be the proper wife.

Mizu has repeatedly been shown to dominate people unthinkingly, her safety lies in her being on top and knowing what she's getting into. We saw a glimpse of that in the brothel with Akemi under Mizu where she ordered the princess to "get down." The colours from their respective sex scenes blended into one, inky blue on Mizu's end, warm golden on Akemi's. Mizu immediately doses the princess on pursuing worthless men and then Akemi soon willingly submitting to Mizu's protection while thinking of her to be a man. They both tried doing the rightful wife thing, both tried to save their marriages with their husbands as best they could, to be the ideal women even after both men bailed on them. But now they are liberated. Akemi is free from her father and on the path to rule Edo, Mizu is on her own with Fowler, to pursue her revenge in London. Both are relentless in their pursuits. Akemi's "No one refuses me" and Mizu's "We're going to the 9th level" is one and the same. Unstoppable force meets immovable object. Only time will tell. I rest my case.

[maidragoste]

I wish that too

Aemond Targaryen x Targaryen!Reader (Daughter of Rhaenyra) x Aegon II Targaryen

Masterlist Serie

Part 3 Part 5

sorry for the delay in updating. Thank you very much for all the support, for the votes, the reblogs and the comments remember that my inbox is open so you can ask me questions or tell me your thoughts on this series. you can also ask me to write something else

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

"What are you reading?" you asked breaking the silence.

You were in your brother's chambers, Aegon. There wasn't a day when you didn't visit him, you always made time to see him or sometimes you forced him to take a walk with you and the children in the gardens, of course, you did this only when the king or your husband was not with you.

"About Daenys the Dreamer"

"Is it interesting?" you inquired hoping your brother will talk to you more. You remembered when he was younger and rambled excitedly about the stories your parents told him. But now you hardly listened to him speak, after your mother's death Aegon had become a quiet child. If you could you would take away all the pain. You were sad that your little brother had to see the horrors of war, he was too young to have to see his family die.

"You can't marry him," said the boy calling your attention "We can escape in your dragon" he kept talking surprisingly to you even more because it wasn't a secret that since he saw Sunfyre burning your mother he didn't like dragons anymore. He tensed up whenever he heard or saw a dragon. He even refused to spend time with the dragon egg you gave him. So for him to propose escaping with your dragon he really didn't want you to marry the king.

"Egg, I have to do it" you tried to caress his face but he pulled away from him and glared at you.

"He killed our mother" he slammed the book shut "You should hate him. You should want him dead. You should fight him but you don't do anything. You just sit next to him at dinner and walk around the gardens. Did you do the same at war while my father, mother, and Jace fought?" As he spoke his breathing became more and more labored. It seemed that at any moment he would burst into tears and all you wanted to do was take him in your arms but you knew he would reject you.

You wanted to tell Aegon that you wish you had fought with your family. Tell him how you thought more than once about getting on your dragon and going to fight together with Jace. How you dreamed of seeing him again, of hugging him and seeing his smile. In your dreams, your brother always welcomed you with open arms. But that never happened, you never left the castle, you never went looking for it. There was no point in telling Egg that because it wouldn't change anything. Your family is still dead and you are still the traitor, the idiot, the coward who did nothing during the war.

"If Jace was here he would be avenging mother" you heard him mutter.

"It doesn't matter because Jace is dead"

"I wish he was here and you were dead"

Your little brother's words didn't hurt you. If you could take the place of Jace, Luke, Joffrey, or Viserys you would without hesitation. Your brothers did not deserve that tragic end. You got goosebumps remembering how each one died. They had a lot ahead of them. Jace would have been a good king, Luke sooner or later would have learned to sail a ship without getting seasick and would have become a worthy heir to the Driftmark, Joffrey and Viserys were just children.

"I wish that too" the words came out of your mouth without even thinking about it.

Aegon looked at you with wide eyes. He wasn't serious. He loved you. He had only gotten carried away by his anger, he wanted to see your reaction, he was tired of seeing you so calm as if the death of the whole family had not affected you. But he never thought you would tell him that. He never thought you were keeping your pain to yourself.

"I wasn't serious," he said with a broken voice "I don't want you to die. I swear", I hugged you tightly feeling terrible for having made you believe otherwise "I love you"

"Shhh, Egg," you said lovingly as you stroked his hair "Okay, I know you're just mad"

"No, it's not okay" Aegon denied "I'm so sorry. I don't want you to die. I don't want to be alone" it broke your heart to hear the desperation in his voice.

"Listen to me" you took his face in your hands "You're not alone, Egg. I won't let anyone take me away from you or hurt you" you promised with total seriousness "For that I need to be queen. I'm getting married to keep the peace but also to keep you safe, do you understand?" he nodded "I love you" you kissed his forehead and hugged him tightly.

•••••

You woke up screaming feeling your skin burning, but I knew it wasn't true that it was just a product of your nightmare… You weren't burning and your mother hadn't ordered Syrax to kill you. It had only been a dream but you could still hear his voice calling you a traitor.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, you're safe" Aemond said taking you into his arms and you clung to him. You're sure you were holding his arm too tightly but he didn't seem bothered by that "Come on, breathe with me, love" your husband's soft voice comforted you as did his arms. "Inhale" he took a deep breath and waited patiently to see you do the same, he saw how your chest inflated "Exhale" you two let out their breath together. Repeated the same exercise again until the prince remembered the presence of the guard "All right, Ser Fell. You may withdraw."

"Good night, prince, princess," the guard said before leaving.

You had not realized that the guard had entered. You shouldn't have been surprised to see him. Ever since your engagement to Aegon was announced, you've always had a member of the royal guard behind you. Today it was Ser Willis Fell's turn to guard your door. Clearly hearing your screams had entered your room in search of an intruder. You felt ashamed. Soon you would be queen and here you were screaming from a bad dream like you were a little girl again. You were hoping you hadn't woken the whole castle.

You also didn't realize that Baelon and Aemon were awake. Your screams woke up the children. They were crying now, clearly scared and upset that you interrupted their sleep. You feel guilty.

"I'm sorry" you let go of Aemond, you noticed your fingernail marks on his arm "Could you hold Aemon while I held Baelon?" you asked and were about to get out of bed when the prince took your face in his hands.

"You have nothing to apologize for or to feel ashamed of" he declared and hoped you could see that he was speaking with total sincerity "I am your husband, I am here to support you. Never be afraid to show your fears to me. I am here" I kiss your forehead.

"Thank you" in another moment you would have smiled when hearing his words but now you felt discouraged. Still those words meant a lot to you, they gave you security and comfort, so you kissed him hoping to convey your feelings. "Now let's calm down those beasts before they wake up everyone"

They both got out of bed and went to the twins' crib. You couldn't help but snort as you watched Aemon quickly seem to calm down just by being in his father's arms. Just as you were about to lovingly complain about how unfair it was that you're going to carry your baby for 9 months and then be a daddy's boy, Aegon, Jaehaera, who was clinging to her father's hand, and Egg just walked into the room. What surprised you the most was seeing your younger brother behind the king.

"Everyone is fine?" asked the king looking at you and Aemond carefully in search of any injury or something out of place. You noticed how Egg also did the same "We were worried"

"We heard your screams" Jaehaera added sadly.

"I'm sorry" you apologized as you rocked Baelon trying to calm him down "I didn't mean to wake you up or scare you. I just had a bad dream"

"Oh, mom used to sleep with me when I had nightmares. That made me feel better" said the little girl letting go of her father's hand to get closer to you and Baelon "We can sleep with you so you feel better" you decided to sit in one of the armchairs so she can see her cousin better.

"I think this is a good idea. So you're not alone ”said your brother speaking for the first time since he had entered the room. Aemond raised an eyebrow at your brother, feeling a little offended that he thought his company of him and wasn't comfortable enough for you. But then he felt like an idiot when he saw the boy's eyes and realized that Egg was actually afraid, afraid that something would happen to you if he lost sight of you.

You looked at Aemond to see if he had any complaints but your husband just nodded seeing no problem, if being around the kids made you feel better then he wouldn't deny you.

"Fine, we can have a sleepover" it wasn't enough for you to say more words for the king to order the guard to bring another mattress.

Then Aemond as he watched the servants arranging the mattresses on the floor and putting on the sheets realized that you weren't looking at him because of the children. You looked at him to see if he was okay with Aegon, the king, sleeping with you. Your bed was big enough for the two of you and the two children but not big enough for one more adult.

He was furious and was about to kick his brother out of him until he saw how relaxed you were as he took Baelon. Baelon finally seemed to calm down and he was afraid that if he took Baelon out of the king's arms his son would become hysterical again. Besides if he made a scene he would ruin everyone's mood. You were smiling as you listened to Jaehaera and Egg argue over which tale is better to tell Baelon. He decided to ignore his anger and join in the conversation, sitting next to you. You leaned your head on his shoulder and smiled at him. A part of him was afraid of your closeness to Aegon but he knew you still loved him. I could see it in your eyes.

The next day when Alicent was looking for her children and her granddaughter, they informed her that they were in your rooms. She went there and entered quietly. She found two mattresses on the floor and all the last Targaryens sleeping together. Aemond was sleeping on your left, hugging you, you were in the center with your brother sleeping on top of you, Aegon was on your right, his face was hidden in your neck, and one of his arms was tightly hugging Jaehaera, who was sleeping on top of him, and with the other, was hugging you, but also Aemond. They were all well glued. Alicent smiles at the scene. It was bittersweet. A part of her was hopeful, she believed that her family and the kingdom would find peace but the other felt resentment at the thought of her sweet Helaena, she had never seen Aegon so happy and comfortable with her and Jaehaera. Why couldn't it have been like this with Helena? What was so special about you that Aegon would settle down and start acting like a decent man?

She sighed and felt like someone was looking at her. She turned her head slightly to find Aemon sitting in her crib in silence. She walked over and took him in her arms. She checked to see that Baelon was still sleeping before heading to the door.

"Do you feel left out? It's okay, we can have breakfast together" Alicent said as she left the room.

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[twirlingsmilingwriting]

Can't you see the Starlight? || Finnick Odair X Reader

"Look at you worrying to much about things you can't change, you'll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way"

Getting dragged to a capital party to satisfy your mothers wishes could not have gone any better when you get asked to dance with the capital darling, Finnick Odair.

Warnings: Fluffy, mentions of death, kissing, dancing, fem! reader, alcohol mentioned, Finnick getting humbled A LOT

Word Count: 4.7K

A/N: I knowwwww I know yall have been asking for more Coriolanus Snow content but I needed some Finnick fluff in my life I love him so much. Might write more parts to this if yall like it :D

The music was so loud I swear I would be able to hear it ringing in my ears for the next days to come. Everyone was dressed to the nines and other girls scurried past me in large, sparkling, extravagant gowns shaped like cupcakes. Awkwardly, I stood there watching the people dance and talk.

This was my first time going to a capital party. My mother decided I spent enough time locked in my room and decided to drag me along to the party.

She had barged in that morning and said, "Y/N it is not normal for a girl your age to have no other friends other than her dog. You're in university. You should be in the club but instead your here. I'm sorry Sweetheart but that is just sad." I understood where she was coming from. It's not even that I don't like being outside, I love it actually. I love going on walks and watching the birds in the trees or even reading in the park and watching the leaves fall. All of that stuff is so much fun. The thing I don't like is the constant judgment from the other people in the capital. My family used to be incredibly wealthy, so much so my father had a hand in a big part of the economy of all of Panem. He was also deeply tied to political affairs in Panem, often having meetings with President Snow. My mother said they went to school together. But when my father died suddenly and mysteriously, our business had plummeted. My mother, bless her soul, tried to step up and handle things but our financial status had gone down significantly.

In all truth, we weren't doing well at all and the pretentious shallowness of the other capital citizens only viewed you as the numbers in your bank account. My mom could barely pay the tuition for the University I'm attending. I felt like an imposter at this party. I know these people think less of me and it's so uncomfortable. It's not even the stares, it's more the lack thereof. I wasn't perceived at all because the other people at this party didn't think I was worth their time. I played with the fabric of my silk red dress awkwardly while I watched my mom chatter with another woman her age at a table across from where I was. Sighing heavily, I closed my eyes and pretended to be anywhere else.

Suddenly, I was pulled out of my daze by a hand on my left shoulder and someone's breath on my right. I jumped and turned around, my gaze being met with the most marvelous pair of sea-green eyes. The man took a step back.

"I'm sorry, did I frighten you?" he chuckled.

I didn't respond, just gave him a confused, almost disgusted glace. He scoffed a little and let a smirk run across his face while extending his hand out.

"I'm delighted to make your acquaintance Ms..." He looked at me with curious eyes, wanting me to finish his sentence. Cautiously, I reached my hand out to meet his, never breaking eye contact.

"Y/N, Y/N L/N."

He shook my hand shortly and firmly. His smirk turned into a charming smile, exposing his charmingly crooked white teeth and dimples. I squinted my eyes at him, examining his face. I felt like I knew him from somewhere, he looked so familiar. His smile started to fade, I think he was a little offended by my glares.

"I'm sorry but do I know you from somewhere?"

A loud laugh left his mouth.

"I'd be more surprised if you didn't haha, do the Hunger Games ring a bell?"

"Gasp... Peeta Mellark?!"

Excitement started to rush through my veins. My eyes lit up and I started to get all giddy. I loved Katniss and Peeta's games. They just finished last week actually. It was really the only one I tuned into and actually paid attention to, I was too invested, enthralled even with their romance. God, I was such a sucker for romance. Peeta looks so different in real life. A lot taller actually. Blond as ever though.

"I- no... Finnick. Finnick Odair." He looked at me a little offended and confused. Now this was awkward. I calmed myself down and shook my head.

"Hmm, I can't say they do Mr. Odair." I glanced around and noticed the number of eyes that were on us, "Though from the amount of girls around here who look like they want to tear you apart, I'm going to assume you're famous or something."

"Ha, well I guess you can put it that way, what a way to humble someone Ms. Y/N... Anyways, I came to ask you a simple question, may I have this dance?" He bent at the waist slightly like a prince, his hand reached out for mine waiting for me to accept it, his stunningly green eyes never leaving mine. What a charmer. I laughed a little and looked around again. There was still a few eyes on us but just as many people were enjoying themselves. Something about the joy buzzing off of the other people just gave me this sudden urge to do something I was always taught not to do; let a stranger who just seemed to have the sharpest jawline, dimples, boosted ego, and the absolute deepest sea green eyes take me by the hand and lead me somewhere with even more strangers in a strange place. I'd say the stranger-danger aspect of it all was worrying but the pros of, "ooooo hot man" seemed to outweigh that.

"Well Mr. Odair, it's between that or sitting here for more painstakingly long minutes so I guess I'll dance with you," flirtatious sarcasm was dripping from my voice but I shot him back a smirk like the one he was giving me. I placed my hand into his and took mental note of how big and rough his hands were compared to mine. In one swift movement, he stood up straight again and interlocked his arm with mine.

"I'll make it worth your while," He joked and I rolled my eyes in response. For being an outdoor event, the area felt so claustrophobic with the amount of people around. The heat radiating off of everyone was unbearable, the aroma was sticky. Finnick held my arm close to him, afraid to lose me in the crowd. I could feel my face getting hot and I couldn't tell if I was flustered from the sudden male attention or if the heat was getting to me. Soon enough, we reached a small clearing, just big enough for the two of us and I felt Finnick let go of my arm and spin me around so now I was facing him. The way he was looking at me made me feel all warm and gooshy, ugh I hated it. With half-lidded eyes and that smirk that was starting to become oh so familiar, he placed one of his hands on the small of my back, pulling me close to him, and the other interlocking with my hand, extending them outwards.

I tried to pull every amount of falsified confidence out of the depths of my soul when I placed my other hand to meet his shoulder. In theory, this should've gone smoothly but I was so nervous my hand was shaking on the way up, none of my fake confidence could cover that one up. He started laughing and I cringed so hard. I looked down at the ground and my legs wobbled a little when I felt my posture start to slip in these heels. I wanted nothing more than to melt into a puddle of nothingness.

"Oh Ms. Y/N... you sure have a lot of bark for a girl who can't even stand up straight. My presence must be too intoxicating for you to handle."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. And you sure have a lot of confidence for a 'Famous' man I didn't even recognize."

"Ouch, dear let's hold off on that one, now please..." his hand lifted off the small of my back and I felt his fingers under my chin, lifting it to look at him.

"Look at me when I talk to you, it's rude not to"

His hand returned to my back and I stared at him flabbergasted. This man had such a hold on me, literally and figuratively, and I had just met him. This was crazy.

"Oh you're dangerous Mr. Odair," I whispered a little too loud for my liking. He heard it and started to laugh again. God that laugh was like the best sound I've ever heard.

"Trust me darling, I'm a daydream. Now, are we gonna start dancing or are you just going to sit here and stare at me while I get lost in your eyes."

Oh, this absolute weenie. Now I knew I was blushing. His facial expression was the embodiment of pride. It was like he was so accomplished in getting me so flustered. Suddenly, the reality of what was happening sank upon me and so did the remembrance that I didn't know how to dance. Smiling awkwardly at him I started to try and uncomfortably sway our bodies in an off-rhythm pace. His mouth formed an 'O' shape of realization like he just read my mind.

"Just follow my lead,"

He started to move his feet and I followed along one step behind him. I was fumbling over my self a lot but he whispered little encouragements into my ear over the party music. Soon enough, I was working in perfect rhythm alongside him and things started to get a little more fun.

"Look at you, good girl. You caught on so fast,"

Oh god, how can someone be so charming? His presence was almost intoxicating. I turned my head again to avoid eye contact. If I stared into those green eyes for a moment longer I would surely fall into the depths of them and never be able to get out.

"Don't get shy now, darling. Come on," he teased before pulling me closer. My chest was pressed up against him and my eyes widened. Looking up at him slowly, I simply hit him with a shining smile. "Who me? Shy? Never, I'm clearly the most outgoing and social girl out there, that's exactly why I was standing at that table by myself for so long," I joked sarcastically and he rolled his eyes. The song changed and blasted through the speaker and played yet another slow dance song. I groaned and his ears perked up. He swooped in to take that as an oppertunity to ask,

"Are you bored yet?"

"Do you want the honest answer or the delusional one?"

"I'd rather us start our relationship with honesty so I'll go with the first option."

I swear, did this man ever stop smiling?

"Relationship? You're talking crazy Mr. Odair... but to be honest, I'm a little bored... Just a little."

He chuckled a little and continued to lead our bodies elegantly across the dance floor.

"How about we get out of here after this song? There's a lake a short walk down from here, we can go watch the stars."

"Oh Mr. Odair, you better not be trying to murder me... it's okay you don't have to drop everything for me. Clearly, you're enjoying the party."

"Don't worry... You can trust me and it's less that I'm enjoying the party and more that I'm enjoying you"

"You tease~"

"And without giving away too many details... You'd be doing me a favor getting me out of here," he spoke with a changed demeanor, a slightly grim and sad one at that. I brushed it off and nodded.

"So it's a deal?"

"Deal."

He smiled and then pulled away from me, lifting my hand. I understood the assignment and did a little spin, feeling my dress float a little around me. I giggled and spun back into his arms. While my dancing was still quite stiff, I felt so happy. He pulled me close and we helplessly gazed into each others eyes. The song ended and the music dwindled and he pulled away, smiling uncontrollably.

"Stop looking at me like that~ you're giving me the creeps," I teased and giggled, playfully hitting his slightly exposed chest from the V-neck of his white flowy top. He threw his head back laughing before extending his hand out to me again for the second time that night.

"Creeps? I'm sure you mean "Oh Finnick, stop killing me with that beautifully charming, elegant, and stunning smile"'

I huffed and rolled my eyes.

"Are we heading out now?"

"After you."

Words just seemed to roll right off his tongue like honey dripping off a warm spoon, shockingly sweet and smooth. His eyes never left mine. Ever. His hand reached for mine once more and we interlocked fingers while I started to try and find a path off the dance floor. Once we were free from the sweaty dance floor, I turned to Finnick with wide eyes ready for him to lead us down this 'short walk to the lake'. He gladly accepted this task and we walked out the gates of the capital party, not caring if anyone saw us.

As soon as we stepped out of the area I paused for a moment to take a deep breath in. "Oh man I swear it is so hard to breathe in there"

"Oh absolutely. Especially over the heavy perfumes that smell so strong yet can't cover the smell of B.O." Finnick laughed.

"Eww when you put it like that it makes it seem so much worse"

"Oh, but it is that bad let's just be honest here. Like I said earlier, I want this relationship to be started on a foundation of honesty, though, I do love a good secret."

I scrunched my face at his comment and laughed, interlocking my fingers with his again as we looked up ahead of the night in front of us.

"The lake is right down that way," he pointed off to the distance to where we were met with a little stone and dirt path leading. Logically thinking, now was really the time I should be using stranger danger logic. Good thing I wasn't thinking. I grabbed onto Finnick's arm and he started to walk me down the moonlit path. The misty coolness of the nighttime felt so nice on my skin while I cooled off from the party but the warmth of Finnick's arm against my body felt even better. The sound of the music from the party started to get fainter and fainter in the distance.

"So Mr. Odair,"

"Please, just call me Finnick, we aren't around all those fancy people anymore. We can drop the formalities."

"Hmm okay Finnick," I liked the way his name rolled off my tongue and from the way Finnick was grinning and the path in front of us, I think he liked it too. "Where are you from?"

"Wow... you really don't know anything about me huh?" He asked, genuinely so shocked.

"Oh I'm sorry famous-capital-man. How dare I not know how lucky I am to bask in your glory," I rolled my eyes at him.

"Ah that's- that's not what I mean... It's refreshing in a way. It's like with you my reputation doesn't precede me." His tone was open. Honest. He spoke slowly in his last words as if he was searching deep within that beautiful brain of his to pick the right words to say. I didn't respond. On one hand, I was very flattered to see him be so honest. On the other, that sentence was setting off a few more red flags in my mind. What could his reputation be that he finds it enlightening that I don't know who he is? Either way, I brushed off that idea. Finnick seemed like an honest man.

Now that we were alone with just the two of us it felt like his whole demeanor had changed. Inside the gates of the capital party, it felt like he was masking himself a little. It was like he was playing a character, a charming playboy who only had one goal but here, he was still charming but in a different way. His presence reminded me of sitting on the warm sand of a beach watching as the ocean waves crashed into the shore. It draws you in, gives you warmth, and is stunning to look at. I hadn't realized that I had been standing there in silence, lost in my own thoughts, for longer than was comfortable until he continued.

"I'm actually from District 4," He said with a soft smile, a little different from the smirk that usually rested on his face but a lot cuter.

"Really? District 4... So do you like fishing?" Dumb question. I felt the instant cringe rattle my bones after I let those words out. He didn't make a big deal out of it at all though. He laughed a little, "Yeah actually, I don't get around to doing it anymore but I was very good at fishing when I was younger. I'm quite talented with a net."

I feel like there's a joke I'm missing here. I didn't have much more time to psychoanalyze the man because soon enough, we made it to the lake. The moonlight reflected down upon the lake allowing for the beautiful ripples of the water to be seen. The moonlight also shined down on us, being the only source of light in the darkness of this twilight hour. I took a moment to bask in its tranquil beauty as I watched the fireflies dance through the tall grass like little stars that had just dropped down to earth.

"Here it is..." the words left his lips softly and I could feel his eyes staring at my face, trying to read my expression but I was too busy being astonished by the beauty of nature.

"I have lived here my whole life and I have never even heard of or seen this place before..."

He took my hand and led me down to a little clearing in the grass, right above the shore of the lake where we sat down and continued to look around. His head hung down and he looked at his lap, laughing a little before saying, "You must not get out much, huh? Why? I mean, you must have money, why don't you leave and have fun more often?"

"Eh it's not as simple as that, I just... I really can't stand the environment or the attitudes of the people in the capital. They can always find a way to dehumanize another person. After my father passed, my family lost a significant amount of our income and we practically became invisible to the others in the capital. When other people treat you as lesser than or inhuman and like they can do whatever they want to you it's disheartening. The shallowness of other people gets to me too. How am I ever supposed to make friends if they don't care to get to know me? My family just keeps getting hit with trouble after trouble I'm just... I don't know."

I felt a little pathetic rambling on to Finnick. I'm sure he wasn't ready for that kind of trauma dump. My fingers tangled with the hem of my dress and I looked down, examining how my nail polish had chipped at some point during the night. Finnick was silent for a moment. I started to feel even more embarrassed. I didn't need to give him that much information. I was about to open my mouth again to talk about something else but he beat me to it.

"Y/N... Honestly, I understand that on so many levels. Especially as a person who isn't from here but always has to be here for business, I understand fully what you mean but, not everyone is like that and in a way, you're sort of doing the same thing if you're generalizing other capital people like that too... Not to say that you're at fault or anything though but... think about it this way. The way they act is because they were raised that way, truly if you hadn't gone through what you went through you would end up the same way they are,"

His words made me flinch. The idea of being just as shallow as them scared me, deeply. He looked at me, laughed a little, and continued.

"I know I know... This is kind of a hard thing to say, I mean, it's easier to say than to do but, every barrier we cross is another lesson learned. The things we go through turn us into the people we are today and it's our job as people to be people, good people. There is a lot of bad in this world, the least we can do is try to make light with the small things we do. If you spend your whole life worrying too much about the things you can't change, you'll spend your life too stuck in the past and miserable. I was dealt a pretty shitty hand in life but I'm trying to make the best of what I was given and hey, my shitty ass circumstances led me here, with you right now and that seems pretty cool to me"

My heart skipped a beat and I moved my head up to look at Finnick. He was now laying on his back staring up at the sky, head turning to make eye contact with me. I swear this man had a way of reading just the deepest parts of my soul. Deep green eyes met my own and I saw a glimmer, a shine in his eyes that hadn't been there before. A warm smile tugged at the corners of my lips and we sat in silence for a moment, just staring deep into each other's eyes.

"I'd have to agree with you on that one Finnick..." I whispered. He chuckled then turned back to look at the sky.

"Y/N... come join me, the stars are beautiful tonight," He said and patted the ground next to him, ushering me closer. I followed and lay right beside him looking up at the twinkling stars. Normally you can never see the stars so clearly in the capital because of the amount of air and light pollution was so dense but right now, they were shining bright. Maybe things just looked brighter with Finnick next to me. I looked back at Finnick's face, he seemed lost in thought, staring up at the stars.

"Don't you see the starlight? Isn't it crazy to think about how something so far can still be seen be seen by us here? They shine so brightly so that they can bring joy to the rest of the universe. I want to make a change in the world that significant one day. Do something so great that it will bring great joy to everyone for years to come... like even when I die I will be happy knowing there will be happiness after me because of me... I don't know maybe I'm just unrealistically daydreaming right now," Finnick rambled on so confidently but pulled back on that last line. I turned onto my side to look at him, hand coming to stroke the side of his face.

"I- I think you can do it... you're meant for something greater than this Finnick I can feel it..." earnestly, I spoke. While I had just met the man I could just feel this energy radiating off of him. "Sorry if this is sort of sudden but, you have such a pull to you Finnick... You seem to make everything feel like magic when I'm around you. I'm so enchanted by the life you bring to the room and it's actually insane to me. I have been having a great time tonight and I know I wouldn't have had the tiniest bit of enjoyment if I didn't get to meet you tonight. Finnick, you shine brighter than the whole sky and I'm sure you'll make the whole world feel your warmth too."

Finnick didn't speak, maybe I word vomited a little there but I meant every word I said. I swear I could see tears welling up in his troubled eyes before he closed them hard and started to speak. "Truly... those are the kindest words anyone has ever said to me y/n. You don't have any idea how much your sincerity means to me. Thank you" He propped himself up on his elbow to turn to me too. I can't describe what took over me when he finally opened his eyes again. With piercing green eyes and just the hint of a smile on his handsome face, I subconsciously started to lean forward and to my surprise, he was mirroring my actions. It happened so fast, his warm lips were on mine and his free hand found its way to my cheek. The moment was magical, our lips moving in a rhythmic pattern. He pulled away slowly and looked deeply into my eyes while we took a moment to catch our breaths.

"Finnick..."

"Yeah?"

"I think I like you... a lot." My face grew more red with embarrassment while my eyes searched his face for a response. He smiled at me, lips slightly parted before he leaned back in, kissing me a little harsher, lips burning with passion. He lightly placed me on to my back and we continued to share this moment of innocent intimacy while he hovered over me. My fingers tangled in his soft, blond hair and his weight pressed against my body, one of his hands on my face, keeping me close to him, and the other propping himself up. I knew I had to stop myself before this went too far but I really didn't want to. I wanted this night, this moment, to go on forever. Unfortunately, that decision was made for me when he pulled away and looked down on me. The gold shark tooth necklace he was wearing dangled down in front of my face. He smiled again at me. "We should head back to the party now before it gets too late... It'll be more fun I promise," he leaned down to kiss my forehead then came back up, "They play faster-paced music at the end of the night because that's when all the old people go home. You know they might have a heart attack once the bass kicks in," We shared a laugh and he leaned closer to me again, he nuzzled his face into the nook of my neck and placed a soft kiss on my collarbone that sent shivers down my spine. Goosebumps pricked at my skin and his breath tickled as it brushed against my my ear before he whispered, "I like you too y/n... a lot."

I was a blushing mess at this point. He kissed my cheek before sitting back up. He hit me with that charming smile and I pathetically tried to cover my face with my hands but he grabbed my wrists and stopped me.

"No no none of that, I like seeing how flustered you are it's kind of funny."

"Oh boo you asshole," I joked, sitting up and playfully punching his arm. He laughed hard and stood up to his feet, extending his hand out to help me up. Taking his offer, he helped me onto my feet.

With arms linked, we walked away from the lakeside shore and back to the capital party. My eyes searched the room to see if my mom had noticed I left and from the looks of the third empty glass of liquor on the table she was at and the way her eyes were lit up while she continued to chat with the other women her age, she didn't notice a thing. Finnick's hand squeezed mine tightly and gave me a reassuring smile and we walked back onto the dance floor.

By the end of the night, I couldn't tell if it was the intoxicating spirit of Finnick or the amount of times I had spun around the dance floor but I was so dizzy. I could barely think straight but there was only one thing on my mind.

When could I see him again?

[blondeewhorre]

Just For Me

Your story about being in love with Sanji

(I made a 2nd part in Sanji's point of view. Also, I did this story based on the song by Laufey, just down below. Really good. 👍 Also, this takes place after the Whole Cake Island arc. SPOILERS if you squint enough.)

Sanji's story

There is one thing you were pretty accustomed to, even if it was a tad pathetic, it was your bad luck when it came to falling in love. You should have known by now that this kind of thing just wasn't meant for you, that love wasn't something that you were gonna be able to achieve in this life.

So you did what you did best, pine and love unconditionally from the background. Yes, that was what you were meant for, to love with your whole heart and hope that the person you love lived the happy life they deserved. That's what Sanji deserved and it did not matter to you how he just couldn't love one woman, especially with what happened back on Whole Cake with Pudding.

Yeah, all your hopes were flushed down the drain because of one selfish woman, though you could also understand why she acted the way she did when you found out about her and the hard life she had as a child by Katakuri. Katakuri...the one man who seemed keen on giving you the whole world if you asked him to and more if you stayed with him on Whole Cake.

You'd be lying if you said you weren't tempted by his offer, especially after everything that happened with Sanji...and the anguish that came with loving him wholeheartedly, moreso after everything started to go back to normal once the whole crew and Sanji made up. You really almost took Katakuri up on his offer of staying with him, especially when he told you, so heartfelt too, that he'd never find a woman like you again.

A man who loves you for you, that was more than you could ever ask for but what you needed and what you wanted never seem to come together in unison and agree on one thing when it came down to it. You were sick of it so…you ask him to give you some time, the time the crew was going to take staying here on the island before departing on their adventure once more.

And he did, Katakuri gave you the time and gave you your space, not once rushing you and trying to convince you to stay, allowing you to take control of your own emotions, thoughts, and actions and you will forever be grateful to him for it. You are grateful to him so when you sit by the lake where you had made friends with Pound, who you found out later on that he was the father of Chiffon and Lola, and wanted his insights on your dilemma to hopefully be convinced by him to stay.

He was gone now, you never did find out what had happened to him, you just hoped you’d meet him again one day. You wished your heart would stop nagging at you whenever you told yourself this, that the feeling of dread would go away as you kept convincing yourself that you’d one day meet him again. “What’s wrong?” You don't bother looking at the person behind the voice who asked you this, you already knew who it was.

"Hm..." You simply hummed in response, still in deep thought as the memories on Whole Cake kept replaying constantly in your mind. Your heart ached when they did, remembering the dejected expression Katakuri made when you ultimately decided to keep with your crew, with your friends. Then there was also the feeling of dread whenever you remembered Pound, unable to have give him your goodbyes due to him disappearing.

"Just have a lot on my mind." You mumble as you picked at the pie, as if you digged deep enough with your fork, you'd get all the answers you so needed. You finally bring your eyes up to look at him when you hear the chair scraping against the floor, sitting down as he faced you, giving you that smile that once again brought up all those feelings you wish you could move on from. "I'm all ears, mademoiselle." He spoke in a hushed tone as he leaned in closer to you and you had to drop your gaze to keep him from seeing the boundless love you held for this man.

You watch the dark ripples of your coffee, placing the fork down on you plate with your pie in favor of holding your hot cup of coffee in both hands instead. “I’m glad you’re back.” There was so much more you wanted to say to him but you always seemed to choke on those words every time you tried. You knew, without having to look up at him, that he was smiling again, that smile you’d give anything to make sure it would never disappear on him.

“I’m glad to be back.” He responds, his voice soft, like it always was whenever he spoke with you, one of the few reasons why you chose to keep loving him despite the neverending pain and melancholy it brought you. You bring your gaze to the black sketchbook beside your plate of pie, pondering, wondering what to do with it now that you’ve filled every blank space on it, poured your ache and devotion into it.

You could feel Sanji’s one eye on you, those blue eyes, which surprisingly enough also have specks of grey in them as well. You smile as you remember these details about him, his goatee, his blonde hair, his visible curly eyebrow, and…those long slender fingers of his. Those same hands also brought you comfort when you needed it most, his tender caresses on your shoulders and your cheeks, making you forget the yearning when he did.

You tap your fingers against the black leather surface of your sketchbook, once again humming in wonder before finally bringing your gaze back up to look up at him. Just as you thought, he was staring at you and that tender gaze, filled with nothing but fondness for you as he gave you that shaky little smile. Haven't you given enough? That little voice in your head pokes and prods at the wounds that never seem to heal, making it harder for you to hold back the tears you've been fighting tooth and nail since you saw him and Pudding in that alleyway.

You felt sick but maybe that was because all you had was pie and coffee this morning and even then, you didn't really have much an appetite for it either. "May I look through it?" His voice brings you out of the abyss of your anguish, looking up at him then down at what he was looking at. "Oh...um..." You stare at it as well, the book that held all your heartfelt emotions, a visual of your hurt and love all inside of this one sketchbook.

You were honestly tired, exhausted of constantly suffocating in this endless love for Sanji. You love him so much that all it brought was heartache, this despondent love of yours which you refused to let go of. "Yes, I guess you can look through it." You give up, what he did with the knowledge of all your feelings after was forever going to be in his hands from now on, as you slide the sketchbook over to him using the tips of your fingers.

You give him a tired smile before standing up, grabbing your cup of coffee and plate of pie, leaving him alone with your sketchbook as you head to the kitchen. You weren’t able to make it in there without having Luffy snag the pie off the plate and Robin taking your cup of untouched coffee out of your hands. Well, at least none of it went to waste and all your were left with was the small plate to wash, less work for you. “Wait.” You were reaching to push the door leading to the kitchen open but you are stopped by a firm and gentle grasp on your arm.

“Your drawings…” Right, you should have known better than to think he’d leave you alone after going through your whole sketchbook, and you hesitate turning around to look at him until you finally do. “They’re all…me.” Yes, they are all about him, some simple and others more detailed and complex. “Um…yes…they’re all you.” You couldn’t speak any louder than a hushed tone, afraid of the way your voice was beginning to waver as you spoke.

“And this one…why is…why am I…” You could tell that he wasn’t sure of what to make of the very last drawing involving him…him and Pudding kissing in the alleyway. You give him your plate and gently take the sketchbook in both your hands, rubbing your thumbs over the edges of the worn out pages. “Stolen memories.” Is all you give him, keeping your promise to Pudding when she noticed you watching them, your exhausted and broken expression not going unnoticed by her.

“I just…I’m trying to understand though, my lady. What does it all exactly mean?” You decide to just outright tell him, you were done keeping it all to yourself about how you truly felt for him. “It's my love…” You closed the sketchbook, running a hand over the all too familiar black leather cover once more before giving it to him again. “I want you to have it.” You wanted to leave it at that, having told him what you’ve been wanting to get off your chest for years and already feeling better once you do.

Oh, but Sanji just cannot leave things be, especially when it came to things like this. He wraps his arms around you, tightly, suffocating you in an embrace that he refused to let up from and you could feel him trembling slightly as he does. When he finally does let go, though with great difficulty, loosening his arms from around you and smiles at you despite your confusion, you are now able to see the deep affection swirling behind those eyes of his.

His hands come up to hold your face tenderly, leaning down slowly, his eyes never leaving yours while you had to fight back the urge to look away in embarrassment. “You are my reason for the strength I found to keep going…even when I had hit my lowest.” You could feel your eyes stinging with the tears you have always refused to let shed, always promising yourself that it was for the best that things remained the way they were.

“I love you.” Your cheeks flushed, lips quivering before finally breaking out into a fit of quiet sobs, tears finally cascading down your cheeks as you reached to hold onto his shirt, grasping onto him as he leaned the rest of the way down to press his lips to yours, not caring that they were drenched in your salty tears as he did. As painful as it was throughout all these years when it came to loving Sanji, if you knew then what you knew now, you wouldn’t change a thing…not a single one.

You’d let him break your heart all over again.

[radioisntdead]

Hello!! I just read your velvette fic and it blew me away!!

Would it be okay if you made a fic of lucifers new wife meeting the hazbin hotel gang, along with mentioning how she died? It can be a song fic, and if it was, maybe what I know now from Beetlejuice?

If I'm asking for a lot, I'm sorry, this is my second time requesting something :)

Either way, thank you for considering this request, and if you could tag me if you make it, that would be nice!

With love 💙💙

-Xin

Good evening my dear! First of all you're doing great requesting! @fuck-this-shit-xin

Normally I prefer not to write for Lucifer for a couple of reasons, but the moment I read what I know now, I immediately went into writing mode, I ADORE THAT SONG, and Beetlejuice the musical as a whole but that song changed me, I annoyed my parents by playing it all the time back in 2020. I may have gotten slightly off track of the request, (I got excited writing reader singing)

If I knew then what I know now

Warnings!!!

Suicide and Self harm, Reader was a child star, Reader like the others breaks into song.

Link to the song, highly recommend you listen to it while reading!

Well, meeting your new husband's daughter was a bust, you ended up at her hotel, and he proceeded to get in a fight with a radio deer man and it was chaotic, So you decided to have a redo dinner where you could properly meet her and everyone,

Unfortunately the duck obsessed man had some type of emergency leaving you with your stepdaughter, her girlfriend and a couple of the other hotel residents alone.

"I'm sure he'll be back eventually."

You said with a strained smile, nervously smoothing out your dress as Charlie nodded,

"Yeah! I'm sure it was something that was super important, So uh, how'd you meet my dad?"

"Oh! Well it's a funny story-"

"Better question how does he perform in bed?"

"ANGEL."

"I'm not answering that."

And that pinwheeled into everyone drinking at the bar, chatting about random things and eventually Angel dust said something about his erotic films and you said you were in a couple of films when alive, although yours were more.... Family friendly

"Life is a thing that should be cherished, let me tell you I wish I could go back to it sometimes," you said swirling the alcoholic beverage in your hand,

"What wassssss your life like?"

"Well,"

The radio flickered on, letting a tune pour out.

Alastor raised an eyebrow.

"I was hot, I went to parties a lot"

You leaned back in your chair, recalling when you were alive,

"Y'know?"

Well that's not what Charlie was expecting you to open with,

"I was driving Lamborghinis, Sipping super-dry martinis,"

You downed the rest of your drink before standing up, moving to the music

"In the tiniest bikinis on a yacht"

You were quite scandalous when you were alive

"But I was depressed"

You put an arm over your head and leaned back leaning back, Alastor pushed you forwards with his cane.

"Also completely obsessed"

You had competed in beauty pageants since you were a child, you had starred in some films both as a child and as an Adult.

"An unhappy beauty queen"

It had been installed in you to be beautiful, the best, you had to eliminate your competition by outshining them, you were thrusted into the spotlight at such a young age, you never stood a chance.

"Who dreamed to be Miss Argentina"

A role you couldn't reach no matter how hard you tried,

"I had such low self-esteem"

You were beat down verbally by not only those around you, but by yourself, no one could beat the words you told yourself in the late hours of the night.

''I was a mess''

You had drowned your woes in alcohol, cocaine and other things, no one truly knew how much of a mess you were, being completely functional to do your pageants or films.

"So I gave it all up for the netherworld''

You flipped your hair as you twirled around.

"I've been here forever, girl"

You couldn't tell how long it's been since you died, you witnessed the decades change slowly but surely as more souls fell below.

"If I was more clever, girl"

You smiled.

"I would've stuck it out, Knowing what life's about,"

Oh how you missed looking out your window and seeing the blue sky, the sun, you missed fresh fruit, you missed the trees, normal looking animals!

"Pain and joy and suffering"

Maybe if you were born into a different life you would've been happier.

"Failing but recovering"

You made the decision to fix yourself, you hated the way your coping mechanisms made you feel, it destroyed you.

"I'll tell you another thing, Everyone comes here alone"

You motioned at the residents of the hotel, you weren't completely wrong, Angel dust came alone, Alastor showed up alone but summoned forth Husk and Niffty later on, Sir Pentious technically had his eggs but still.

"So if you are breathing, Go home!"

You danced with the rhythm of the music, hips moving.

"If I knew then, What I know now"

You placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder,

"I would have looked within and let love in somehow"

She gave you a warm hug you returned the hug before stepping back

"If I only knew the truth back then"

It was the last time, that's what you told yourself as you opened the bottle of Vodka, just one last time.

"I wouldn't have had my little "accident""

The little voice in your head was telling you it was going to get worse, and worse, you would never escape this life, you would forever be watched like a puppet, there was a letter opener on your nightstand, you were using it to open fanmail early that day.

The bracelets on your wrists moved showing a glimpse of the red markings that ended your life.

"Don't be blind"

You laid on the cold ground, blood staining your clothing, you looked up and saw the night sky, the stars were so, so beautiful.

"We left our whole lives behind"

You wondered who found you, your manager? a friend? Family member?

"See a shrink, Call a priest"

You moved around,

"Ask the recently deceased"

You glanced at the hotel residents, they hadn't died recently, you snapped your fingers summoning forth little puppet like people, where they sinners, did they come from you? Were they like the eggs? Who knows.

"Death is final and you cannot press rewind"

Stage lights turned on.

"Don't jump when the light is red"

"Toasters should be used for bread"

"Never smoke cigars in bed"

Three puppets sung, different colored lights shining on them

"Nietzsche was right, y'know, to live is to suffer, bro"

"Don't cheat on the one you wed"

A puppet dress in a suit popped up next, mocking a groom.

"Never whip a thoroughbred"

"Angry pygmys shrunk his head"

"Why did it take death to see, Happiness was up to me?" They sung in unison, each puppet dressed to match their line.

You stepped onto the stage the puppets surrounded you, standing beside and behind you.

"If I knew then, What I know now,"

You moved with the puppets,

"I would've laughed and danced"

Regrets filled you through and through

"And lanced every sacred cow"

You never did the things you wanted too, you never truly indulged in the hobbies you loved,

"I thought I knew, but I was wrong!"

If you could turn back the clock you would, without hesitation,

"'Cause life is short"

You would've probably still ended up here but at least you could've said that you lived life to the fullest!

"But death is super long"

You had an eternity to make up for the things you never did in life, it wasn't the same for multiple reasons, the main one being you were in hell.

A puppet exploded into a pile of confetti beside you.

"I exploded!"

Niffty quickly moved to clean up the confetti.

You danced to the music, twirling the puppets around, pulling up Charlie up onto the stage for a quick dance, A stray puppet pulling Angel dust into a very disorganized dance as he was tall while the puppet was not, Alastor did a goofy dance while another puppet aimed to dance with the eggs.

it wasn't all bad being down there, after all you did met your darling husband who you loved, and being married pulled you up above the average sinner.

Charlie hopped off of the stage

"If I knew then, What I know now"

Lights moved with you around the stage

"I would've crossed every line and drank all the wine"

One of the puppets wandered off to grab a glass of wine only to be stop by husk picking it up and tossing it over.

"Before my final bow!'

You did a half bow before twisting around, face to the puppets as they danced around you.

"If I knew"

You raised a hand the faintest of strings could be seen

"The things that now I know"

"I would ride the highs and cherish the lows"

Life was something you should've NEVER took for granted, you longed for the sense of normalcy that came with it,

"Going, it's a quick trick 'round the rodeo"

A small wooden horse with a smaller puppet moved around the stage for a moment.

Your movements became more face paced, your voice

"So before they lower the curtain, be certain to enjoy the show"

You bowed elegantly.

"That's what I know!"

The curtains closed.

"Life is short but death is long, Here, one minute then it's gone""

"Thought I knew but I was wrong, If I only knew what I know now!"

Your legs gave out below you, collapsed on the stage, the puppets vanished as the song ended, you were glad the curtains covered you.

You could hear the hotel doors fling open,

"Sorry I'm back! Everything's dandy now, what'd I miss?"

You heard your husband say, you took a deep breath before standing up brushing yourself off.

"Why are there ducks stuck on your coat?"

"I see Alaska is still here,"

"It's Aʟǟֆȶօr."

"Dad, Alastor please behave"

And that was your cue to prevent another fight You opened up the curtains with a large smile,

"Luci! You just missed my performance"

You said leaping off the stage tackling the short fallen angel into a hug, flustering him at the sudden attack of affection.

"I- wHAT?"

You wished you could go back and live life to the fullest but you couldn't do that, you had to spend your afterlife with your regrets, you would forever have that desire to go back, to live a sense of normalcy but you had your husband and maybe a new family with Charlie and Vaggie.

You looked forward to what the future held.

Good evening folks hope you enjoyed! Lucifer didn't get much page time (??) because no idea how to write him and again I wanted to indulge in reader's musical performance, thank you for tuning in I am making my ways through requests!

[sleepyxxhead]

Could u do Haikyuu setters getting mad at their s/o because they missed their game because they were busy? Thank u 💕

A/n: I’m so bad at writing angst but why is this such a good ideafjdkla;jfdskl TY FOR THE REQ!! I’ll do a pt. 2 with more setters/characters if you guys req.! Please req. more characters for me to do <3

Genres: angst | comfort 

Characters: Kageyama Tobio | Kenma Kozume | Akaashi Keiji | Oikawa Toru 

Kageyama Tobio - Please don’t leave me!

wc: 321

You were sitting at your desk, getting some work done as you heard the door close. “Tobio?” You call out.

No response.

You found him sitting on your shared bed looking angry. “How’d you do, darling?” you ask tenderly.

“We won,” he mumbled with a scowl on his face.

“You don’t look like you’re too happy about it. What happened?” you sat down next to him on the bed.

He looked at you with a hurt expression on his face. “Why didn’t you come..?”

Your eyes immediately widened in shock. Guilt poured over you. “Tobio-”

“That was a really important game to me,” he whispered, voice trembling.

“I’m so sorry, I was busy with work-”

“You’re always busy with work!” he shouted out, tears welling up in his eyes. “You’re never there!”

“Tobio…” you whisper, tears of guilt and shame streaming down your cheeks. 

Kageyama stood up, and walked out of the room. “Tobio..? Where are you going?”

“Tobio?” You ran after him, desperation rising in your chest. How could lose this? How would you live without him?

“TOBIO!” You cried out, bowing down on your knees.

Hearing the absolute anguish and distress in your voice, Kageyama turned around.

“Please don’t break up with me! I’m so so sorry! I’ll never miss a game of yours again! I love you with my whole heart so please don’t leave me!” You sobbed with misery, feeling the end drawing close.

Kageyama took a step towards you and kneeled down. The sound of misery and desperation in your voice hurt his heart too much to leave you. He tapped you on the head with his finger.

Looking up, you saw a broken version of Kageyama. His expression was calm, but his eyes full of hurt, his face wet from tears.

He stared into your eyes for just a second and pulled you into the tightest hug you had ever received.

“I love you too.”

Kenma Kozume - I forgive you

wc: 251

Kenma: we won. omw to your house

Y/n: congrats! ily &lt;3

Read at 8:23 p.m.

Kenma unlocked your front door with the spare key you gave him. After greeting your mom, he headed to your room. 

“Kenma! Congrats!” you wrapped him up in a bear hug. “Kenma?” You tilted your head to the side, confused as to why Kenma looked so disappointed.

“What’s wrong, Ken?” you asked him.

“Nothing,” he whispered, looking at his feet.

“Kenma. Was it me?”

He turned his head towards you slowly, meeting your eyes. “I guess I’m just… mad at you.”

Your eyes widened. “I’m so sorry, what did I do?”

“It’s more like what you didn’t do…” he trailed off. “I wish you would’ve come to my game.” 

He looked away from you, tears in his eyes. It wasn’t apparent, but Kenma actually cared about volleyball. He cared about a lot of things other than video games. He searched through the crowd to find you, hoping that you could find time to come, but he realized that you weren’t going to show up.

“Kenma…” you watched as he wept silently. “I’m so so sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not!” you yelled, fighting back tears. “I wasn’t there for you when it really mattered!” You wrapped him up into a hug, holding on tight. You couldn’t lose him. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me; I’ll come to all of your games from now on!” 

“Y/n…” Kenma mumbled through tears. “I forgive you.”

Akaashi Keiji - Paradise

wc: 435

“Akaashi?” You looked up from your laptop, hearing the door open. You’re eyebrows creased when you saw the angry expression on his face. “Is everything alright, darling? I thought you won.”

“We did win,” Akaashi mumbled bitterly. “You would’ve known that if you came, though.”

He tore off his coat and shook off his shoes before heading to your shared room. “Akaashi?” You followed him to your room, seeing him pacing back and forth.

“I’m sorry I was busy-”

“You’re always busy! You’re never there! You’ve come to one of my games in the two years that we’ve dated each other! This is something I care about! HOW COULD YOU NOT CARE!?” He shouted at you as tears fell down his face.

You stood in the doorway in shock, tears welling up in your eyes. You couldn’t bare to see the one you loved so much with so much pain and hurt in his eyes, but yet again, you were the one who had caused it. 

You stood in silence as you watched him storm off and down the stairs. Suddenly, a thought appeared in your mind. I’m about to lose him.

Instantaneously, your feet started moving. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you yelled after Akaashi. “Please don’t leave! Let me fix this! Akaashi I love you!”

The front door slammed shut. It’s over. You’re paradise is leaving you.

You crumpled up into a ball, sobbing, mumbling to yourself, “Please don’t leave. I love you. I love you. I love you…”

-

Akaashi went on a walk. He needed to clear his mind. He was so angry at you, but the way you looked so broken when he left made him feel so guilty. Suddenly, a thought appeared in his head. 

That’s it. She’s going to leave you.

His eyes widened at the sudden thought. Almost as fast as the thought came to him, he turned around and started sprinted towards home.

He opened the door, breathing heavily, to find you curled up into a ball on the ground, sleeping. He noticed that your eyes were puffy and your face was wet. Seeing you like that made him feel absolutely terrible.

He dried your face with his thumbs and scooped you up into his arms. He carried you to your bedroom and tucked you in. After he took a shower, he laid in bed next to you.

“I’m sorry Y/n. I didn’t mean to hurt you so badly. Please forgive me…” he said, voice shaking.

Your sleeping body wrapped your arms around Akaashi and pulled him closer. “I’m sorry,” you whispered into his chest.

Oikawa Toru - Addicted

wc: 223

“Y/n, how could you miss that game! How could you miss so many games! You’re always too busy! Why can’t you just show up for once!” Oikawa shouted at you. 

“I-I’m sorry Toru.” Your voice shook as you saw tears racing down his face. 

He looked at you, the agony in his eyes stinging you. 

“I’m sorry! You’re right! I’m never there when I should be! But please…” you trailed off, hot tears staining your face. “Don’t leave me. Please forgive me! I’ll show up to every ga-”

“I forgive you…” He looked to the side. “How could I not… When I love you so much? I love you so much it hurts. I get butterflies every time I see you! My stomach does flips when I hear your name! Y/n, your love is like a drug and I’m addicted. I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU!”

You stood in front of him, eyes wide with shock.

“I’ll always forgive you Y/n. No matter what you do, I’ll always love you too much. No matter how painful, I’ll forgive you! No matter how-”

You wrapped your arms around Oikawa’s torso, holding him so tight you thought you might break his ribs.

“I forgive you, Y/n,” he whispered, holding you close. “I love you too much not to.”

A/n: OMG WHY IS ANGST SO HARD TO WRITE? My heart hurts. I hope yours does too. That’s how I’ll know I did my job 🫡. Have a nice day cutie <33

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