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#before i freak out later
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i have classes again! (i do not know if this is good or not yet) so i will not be able to draw as often. that or i will be drawing extra as a way to procrastinate working on assignments
#ughhhhh i hate transitioning from no classes to classes again this shit sucks#i love being in class but it takes a while before my brain can get used to being in school mode#i wish they just never gave me breaks i would like that a whole lot better#i'm also having a crisis thinking about changing my major#but idk if that's because i actually want to or if i'm just v uncomfortable rn at the thought of having to learn how to be in school again#at the very least i get to go to class looking great today#yesterday i got my hair dyed so now it's neon red orange and yellow#someone told me i look like someone was making their first OC and they had fire powers#another told me i looked like sunset shimmer from mlp#at the very least i look rad as hell and it will make up for whatever horrible thing i end up doing wrong today#i really should've tried to take a class with a prof i'm familiar with but nooooo i waited too long to choose classes#and now i'm stuck with people i don't know who are going to say words to me when all i want is to not say a single word all day long#also i had to wake up at 5:30 today and will probably have to again bc i don't drive so i carpool and they have to work early as fuck#and now i'm on campus and also locked out of the buildings because i can't get the ID scanner to work and the buildings don't unlock yet#at least the feral cats keep me company in these trying times#and waking up early means that i'm just tired enough to not give a fuck anymore so at least i'm not sobbing on the floor (yet)#i'll probably try to save that for after classes end#though i'm feeling strangely okay today which i think might just be the grace period between transitions where i get to act like a human#before i freak out later#or maybe i just missed being in class enough to beat the bad vibes out of me? (probably not but i can hope)#i'm just saying words at this point but that's okay#i'm sure i'm interesting enough for everyone to love hearing about my morning#in which case i want everyone to know that i got the stupidest jacket from the thrift store a while back#and i am rocking it rn#every day i get up and get dressed i look in the mirror and see someone who would fit in better as an art student#but art doesn't make you money and i've lived in poverty too long to go with that#but if i'm stuffed somewhere where i have to have natural hair color and boring clothes at an office job i will probably go batshit tbh#the goal is to be so valuable in whatever field i choose that i get to do whatever i please#like L#anyway i have said so many words
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marc--chilton · 26 days
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house finding wilson ""interesting"" amongst a literal crowd of thousands is one thing but then to be proven right later when wilson flips his lid at a bar. theyre literally fanfiction but real but not
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guardian-angle22 · 1 year
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911: Lone Star | Tarlos Wedding Pt. 3 -> Carlos' vows
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buwheal · 4 months
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I wanna give him a blanket. Can it maybe just materialize outta nowhere?
(I know fabric wrinkles suck to draw. You don't gotta 😵)
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imagine, if you will:
dick is standing behind the couch braiding stephanie's hair.
stephanie is sitting on the back of the couch braiding barbara's hair.
barbara is sitting on the couch braiding tim's hair.
tim is sitting cris-cross applesauce on the floor with cass's head on his feet braiding her hair.
(cass is eating a cookie.)
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show-tunes · 1 year
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So long to this wretched form
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skunkes · 5 months
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lecliss · 26 days
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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dandyshucks · 2 months
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blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl
#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭#and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads#which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those#so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time#i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos#ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl#the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl#every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!!#''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/#''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍#I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ????#what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly.#vent //#SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community#i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos#it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl#i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl#(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it)#(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl)#delete later#dandyshucks
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raayllum · 1 year
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Something I’ve been mulling over bc it also stuck out to me when I first watched the season, took the symbolic reasoning, and then didn’t think too much over it. However, I think I do know the in-character / story reasoning after some time & reflection, so let’s talk about it. Or rather, let’s try to answer
Why didn’t Callum figure out the mirror?
Simply put: because he didn’t, Narratively, need to. 
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Let me explain. 
What’s the Point, really, of Callum being interested in the mirror? We know it’s in character because he’s always in curious about magic. We know it’s in character because he already has a tendency to fixate and attach meaning to objects. And we know it’s doubly sound in-universe given that Callum knows from Rayla’s binding and the Storm Spire archway that elven stuff is hardly ever meaningless or without a deeper meaning underneath. 
From a symbolic standpoint, of course it’s meant to show his parallels to Viren, even if his and Viren’s personalities and circumstances are wildly different. However, Callum has even less context for the mirror than Viren did. All he knows is that it’s something Viren has had and is seemingly elvish in design. He doesn’t know it was in the lair of the Dragon monarchy or any hint at all that it’s connected to the archmage mentioned in his father’s letter / that he has a somehow related Key. 
One of the main reasons I thought Callum might go after Rayla into Xadia from a storytelling structure was because 1) we need humans in Xadia as an audience surrogate (hi all the kiddos just going into Xadia with Zubeia and Rayla to provide just that) and 2) I always thought they wouldn’t have the time for Callum to have a full fledged arc with mirror Aaravos the same way Viren had and that it could end being too similar to what had come before. (Turns out I was right because the plot didn’t have time lmao! But I digress)
Don’t get me wrong, Aaravos manipulating Callum through the mirror in terms of conversations could have worked (and I’ve written a few here and here pre season release) but that always felt like it might infringe a bit on Callum’s character for two main reasons
1) Besides Rayla being gone, he has virtually everything he ever wanted; helping his brother, a powerful mage, getting to pursue more magical resources etc. Viren only went to Aaravos out of outright desperation because he believed that had “nothing left to lose” and because he had goals he was chasing. Until Aaravos possesses Callum, Callum is a hot mess, sure, but he’s not particularly desperate. There’s no tangible way in - Callum was offered unlimited power back in 2x08 and still turned down being a dark mage. Just something nondescript wouldn’t really work this time either
2) Callum is skeptical as hell and is accordingly slow to trust, and even barring Rayla’s absence, he still had a support system of people who cared about him at the castle, particularly Ezran and Soren (and even Bait) who would keep an eye on him. Callum can be reckless and let his curiosity get the better of him, but he still listens to his instincts (2x03 with Soren and Claudia) and the people around him.
The main information Callum could’ve gotten from Aaravos, if the Startouch elf had been 1) willing and 2) truthful would’ve been details of his backstory - well before his imprisonment, as everything else (the fact that he is imprisoned, the lack of knowledge about where he is, who put him there, etc.) are all things we really knew. So it’d require more of a switch from Aaravos than Callum in a lot of ways too - elongating and stretching things out, and not necessarily giving Callum a segue into an arc where he’s actually able to start processing his feelings. And again, no desperation as a way in
But with all that out of the way, why have Callum be more obsessed with the mirror beyond the initial scene in 4x01? Why not have him investigating the cube because it’s also related to Aaravos and could communicate the same purpose? Why have it be the arguable C-plot of 4x02 at all if he’s just going to be interrupted? 
Like I said, there’s the very blatant symbolic reason of Rayla’s entrance being what deters Callum from getting too close to the mirror, her halo’d by the moon figure representing the other path he’s going to choose away from the more blatant visible path of darkness (black dark magic eyes, gazing upon a fallen star, “what if i’m on a path of darkness” etc etc) in the end. I do think that’s the Surface Level reading we’re meant to have as a takeaway, kind of similar to when Rayla spares Marcos in the forest in a moment of emotional illumination. Another path.
However, I think it actually goes deeper than that:
Which is to say, step out of the narrative / audience mindset, and look at it from Callum’s perspective. 
You see the six primal sources Rayla has drawn after the craziest night of your life and think of something exciting and familiar. The cube in the Banther Lodge. Conveniently on the way and free of humans. You have to go get it. 
You give up on having it when shit hits the fan. You just want to make sure everyone, especially Rayla, gets out safely. You completely give up on the cube. And even though she’s pissed at you, she tosses it into your lap anyway. 
It turns out that, of all the possible things and secrets your stepfather could’ve given you that you might have missed out on, he intended and left the Key of Aaravos to you. It soothes the ache in your chest. It feels like destiny, especially after a week of being lost and magic-less
You bury yourself in your work to soothe another heart break. You hate the bulk of what you’ve inherited from your predecessor. You learn how to translate runes. But no matter how much you learn, you can’t translate the mirror. The gleam routinely catches your eye. You hate a riddle you can’t solve
You have a feeling the mirror is related to the evil returning to the world due to Ibis mentioning the Fallen Star; the same way you had a feeling that the cube could help you. (A feeling that Rayla couldn’t be trusted, a feeling that the storm made you feel like it did when you cast fulminus.) 
Then you cannot feel anything except numbness as your limbs and mouth move beyond your control and it’s worse. It’s so much worse. 
You worry you’re on a path of darkness, that you will inevitably, accidentally, play into his hands because you almost have three times before without even realizing.
You cannot let go of the cube. 
In every adjacent encounter, Callum has had a step of separation from Aaravos. He thinks and behests they make a heartfelt detour so he can go get the cube, but Rayla is the one who finds it. Before he can even know the cube is more special than it seems (although he already thinks it’s more special than Rayla does and certainly not worthless), Harrow is granting him key ;) information. He didn’t find the mirror, Viren having already stolen and hauled it back into Katolis, as the last thing Runaan ever saw. By the time Zubeia tells him what it is, it is too late.
In so many ways this exemplifies how even before Callum knew it in 1x01 for a decent chunk of the episode, the events that would radically transform and destroy his life had already taken place in more ways than one: assassins spotted, egg stolen. Harrow dead just as the narrative truly begins. 
The cube is his part of the puzzle to decipher, not anyone else’s. Claudia, Viren, and Callum are all needed as equal parts of Aaravos’ plan for his pawns. For Viren, it was the staff and the mirror; for Claudia, it is the quest; and for Callum, it will likely be the cube. This is shown even in 4x01 when the two times Callum is talking about the mirror, he is Interrupted by either the guard coming to fetch him on his brother’s behalf or by Soren messing with the cube, and Callum is interrupted again by the cube glowing and then Rayla’s arrival, literally turning away from the mirror for each. 
The point of the mirror and Callum’s obsession with it wasn’t to solely highlight how he’s like Viren, necessarily (otherwise they could’ve just kept throwing in the same parallels they have from the very beginning), but to show how his agency has been undermined from the very beginning and will be to the end (of S6 at least), that he and Viren are tethered by the same thing that is Worse than Death, and that while more cognizant of it, by the time Viren realized Aaravos was using his Power and that Callum was entangled, it was already, as Harrow says
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If Callum had figured out the mirror and that it was a prison or even communicated to Aaravos on his own, he would be able to look back and see and know all the places he could’ve stopped, all the places he actively chose to wander down. But even that is taken away from him. Even with delays, even with self-preservation, even by both repeating and rejecting Viren’s mistakes, it adds to Callum feeling like his destiny is already written, that this path as a pawn is inevitable. That no matter how different or similar he is to Viren, there’s only one way this can end, that there are no divergences, there are no other choices - there are no safe choices except to take him out. That he will continually come back to Aaravos regardless of if he knows it or not, that his own wishes will hook him right back in, that his fate is already sealed. That it’s written in stone. 
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Callum has chased agency (magic) his whole arc, wanting to be able to protect his loved ones and make something of himself. However, he’s also had more agency than he was giving himself credit for even in S1, stopping Claudia from going after them, having the final say about going up to the tower or not. Thus S1-S3 is largely Callum deciding who he wants to be with the agency he has and recognizing his strengths, building his confidence. He hasn’t struggled with concepts of agency more than he has since S2, which is one of the reasons S4 mirrors S2 so heavily in how its emotionally structured for the main cast in particular. Realizing that the ability to fully commit to the choices he wants has been within him all along; that’s why he narratively gets the Sky arcanum. So of course an external factor reaching inside him and taking control is the most bone-chilling inversion of that possible.
If he went the Viren arc as a slowburn in S4, we would get the Viren S4 resolution, of Callum unknowingly giving away his agency until he has basically nothing left. If he was driven to figure out the mirror for it or his own sake, we would see him being having Claudia’s arc, falling further and deeper in with a devastating relentlessness. 
Instead, we get that lack of agency on speed run to give Callum the opposite arc of having agency brutally ripped away from him, only to open up a path for him to take it back stronger than ever before. In many ways, Callum has more to lose and more at stake, the fact that he can be possessed an even greater blow now than it would’ve been in Arc 1. 
Arc 1 for him was about acclimating and adjusting to Power. and believing in his own Potential .This first portion Arc 2 is about how much of a say does he have in how he uses that power, now that he’s no longer a child; now that he’s no longer free.  
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Callum doesn’t typically worry about making the wrong choice, however. Most of his anxiety tends to stem when he feels like he has no choice. Thus, it sets Callum up to have a really interesting arc of reconciling these dualities rather than just retreading old steps. Viren had full agency when chasing after Aaravos; as Soren says to Claudia, “Dad is dead; you don’t have to do what he wants anymore,” believing that Claudia is merely picking up where Viren left off, not that she’s steamrolling their own father into it in order to save his life. 
It’s one of the reasons that of all characters, Callum arguably also parallels Zym a great deal as well. Like Zym, he’s being treated like a thing and a weapon more than a person. Like Viren believed of Zym, Callum worries he may be forced into a terrible destiny. That:
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Callum being possessed is still a form of manipulation, if not also a misdirect, forcing him into a desperate position that makes him even more vulnerable to Aaravos than he ever could’ve been otherwise. But it’s a different form of manipulation than how Aaravos lured in Viren, and a different form than how he’s manipulated Claudia the past two years. Aaravos is terrifying because he knows what strings to pull, not because he’s pulling the same strings every time. For a character with such a strong breath / mouth / freedom motif, being choked / being robbed of his voice / and of his freedom is the absolute biggest smack in the face. I’ve long mandated that the worst possible thing that would rattle Callum the most would be feeling like his mind was unsafe because of Aaravos, not his body. 
Callum seeking Aaravos out in S4 of his own accord is thematically / narratively opposed to the possession plot line. The possession plot line is the ‘replacement’/subversion chosen, but it’s not a bug; it’s the feature. 
It also sets Callum up to have a really interesting arc of battling for control, eventually winning it (S5 and/or S6) but still losing to Aaravos, making the wrong choice or call or being forced into something anyway while he’s cognizant enough to make a choice at all, anyway. It’d be empowering and demoralizing all at once.
But still not without any hope, since, after all: 
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Nothing is truly inevitable. Nothing is written in stone. It is never wholly too late, not for anyone. Aaravos just doesn’t know it yet - but Callum will be sure to show him, by S7 at the very least if not sooner.
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jrueships · 5 months
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Admin: which teammate do you pick to cook your Thanksgiving dinner?
Alpey, who has brought his own baked goods for the team before; therefore, should have the most credibility and trust to be skilled in the kitchen: *happily suggests himself as the best option for jabari*
Jabari:
#jabari is like the kind of person who works a 15 hr shift then complains abt her tired they are#and how they cant sleep bcs they have so much to do around the house#but wont let their husband cook for them bcs they want to do it themselves then complain abt having to do it themselves#moms who start vacuuming the house at 4am then complain about how theres no one helping#'MOVE. ILL JUST DO THE DAMN THING MYS E L F !'#*2 seconds after scaring charity away* why do i have to do everything myself.'#the trials and tribulations of the stubborn control freak#he later says 'im not letting anyone else cook my food for me. (i pick) me. jabari.'#just tearing out alpeys heart and stomping on it 😭#picky ass eater who loves luxury jabari vs expired yogurt and carmel and chocolate syrup drizzled over it to feel fanciful alpey#bite#to the death#they literally asked this question last year??? before they banished gup to the gallows#alpey: alperen şengün 😄!!! ✨️ 🩵🩵#jabari: 😐#jabari (no grey matter): kill yourse-#why do they keep doing this to each other#alpey is the playful beloved family dog whos always in the room with the most people being pet 24/7 for being there & sweet#and jabari is the odd and aloof cat who has sporadic springs of affection and wacky affection#and will usually show himself when hes about to cause trouble for no apparent reason at no apparent schedule#like creeping over to a sleeping alpey and skippity papping him in the head without rhyme warning or reason#then taking off#zero apology or context given
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buryam-soul · 3 months
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Mmwhduebsyy my wife myw platonic wife she came home waughgghg i had just enough for a 10 pull and and and oughgh
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cannibalmutual · 8 months
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been really into brushing my teeth before bed. wild that dentists are right
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ragingtwilight · 4 months
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i am slowly coming out of my offline mood and i know i am because i actually went through my notifications today lol
however i am avoiding catching up on blogs just yet bc that is a daunting task so i will say hi for now teehee
talk to me, how have y'all been this past month
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rosymorns · 1 year
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being obsessed w ur dnd character is so taxing. literally five people in the world know about her and only half of them care.
#im kidding i think my whole dnd party does care about valerine.#the dm threatened to Main Character-ize her like he did kayne last campaign (jokingly)#i will tell u about her. i am compelled to.#i have had the idea for a character who was raised as an oracle in a cult and escapes for years and i broke that concept out.#this campaign takes place like 200 years after an apocalypse. like basically nukes. some dwarvea fucked around & opened portals 2 the hell#*hells. and i was like. ohhhhhh u know what would be fun. if valerine was from BEFORE the apocalypse.#basically she foresaw the apocalypse happening and her dad freaked out and panicked and murdered her#and then coerced or convinced. she doesnt know. the rest of the cult built up around her into committing suicide.#and then her planetar mom who is fat and very powerful but was forced away from the material plane by the apocalypse#finally gets enough power 200 years later to resurrect her baby.#and valerine wakes up in what used to be the place she did her prophecying. it is now a crypt.#she wakes up and has to piece together what happened and why her mom brought her back.#and she was raised in! yknow! a cult! she has no way to make it on her own.#her cult is based in the worship of selune but. and this is corny. selunes symbol is like the eyes w the stars around it?#valerine's cult is just the stars. bc val is the 'eyes'. or whatever.#anyway this is fun because we have ANOTHER aasimar who worships selune in the party. i think theyre gonna have a fun time.#carly.txt
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kykybunny1 · 5 months
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Whenever I saw posts about stardew valley that focused on how everyone stays the same every year and like the horror of that. I didn't really Get it. Until I got kids. and then on day they just. Stopped growing
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