#if he is a fool he is a dishonest one. do not believe him.

[julijbee]

I present you with a hypothetical, it goes as follows:

A man sees the world only in shadows, and understands it only as so. If he stands close to another, their shadows eclipse. Does he believe the two shadows belong to the same thing? Does he believe to be close to something is to become it? Does he fear what moving apart from that shadow might do? Does he not know fully what he fears, in moving away, forgetting-or not understanding-what he is when he isn't a shadow of something else?

Is he a fool for this? Do you take him for a fool? Answer me.

[sleepysnk]

a/n: rindou was highly requested on my feedback form, so i decided to give it a shot and try writing something for him! :) forgive me if my characterization is trash. i hope you guys enjoy <3.

pairings: rindou haitani x fem!reader

warnings: some angst, cheating, businessman!rindou, mentions of reader x male!oc, hookups, nsfw, smut, flirty rindou, unprotected sex, some possessive behavior, use of pet names (baby, angel, my girl, princess, good girl), dirty talk, creampie, choking, praising.

synopsis: your boyfriend of almost one and a half years has been unfaithful to you with multiple women at his job. you’re aware of this every single day, and he doesn’t even hide it anymore. one day, you met his boss, rindou haitani, and were completely captivated by the man. he was more polite to you than any other man had been, so one night when your shitty boyfriend was clearly cheating, you decide to invite rindou over to have some fun of your own.

promotion ft. rindou haitani

11:58 PM-> Yakashi: i’ll be home tomorrow morning

11:59 PM-> Yakashi: don’t wait up for me. i got business to attend to.

Your eyes rolled at the messages you received from your lover. It wasn’t unusual for your boyfriend to stay out late for work or go out with his buddies until the crack of dawn, but what honestly annoyed you the most was the fact that Yakashi was a horrible fucking liar. You were completely aware that he wasn’t being truthful in any of those words he sent you. However, you always had to force yourself into believing whatever shitty lie he came up with next. 

You knew exactly what he was doing. Yakashi was clearly cheating on you with another woman.

A little over six months ago, you had discovered that he had been unfaithful to you. You unfortunately had the experience of seeing some of the messages he had been sending back and forth with other women. Some of which were actually his coworkers that you knew of. The others were completely strangers to you. Finding out that information crushed you to your core. You had been with him for a whole year at that point. Three hundred sixty five days. It left you with so many questions, and it eventually led to an intense argument inside your apartment. Yakashi denied it all at first. He claimed that they were simply platonic relationships, but you backed yours with the fact that you would never send your male friend photos of your genitals and consistently flirt with them. After that, he finally released the truth and admitted that he was being dishonest with you. 

For a little while, you could hardly trust the man. Yakashi wanted to continue being in a relationship with you, and he promised many times that he would remain loyal to you. He also said that he loved you and if you ever wanted to search his phone you had every right to. It sounded reassuring to you, so you decided to give him another chance. You believed in second chances and you prayed to god that he would never do it again. 

Though, like every promise he made, it soon ended up becoming shattered. 

After about three months, Yakashi had cheated on you yet again. You had the urge to confront him once more, but unfortunately, you knew you would sound like a broken record. You also didn’t want to lose your relationship with the one man you found so much happiness in. A complete war had begun inside of yourself. You knew full well that it was wrong to stay with a man who was making a fool out of you every night, but what could you do? You lived in the same apartment with one another, and you knew if you ended the relationship that you would barely be able to make ends meet every week. As much as you tried to swallow down the reality, you always had hope that one day his behavior would change and he would be the same man you met almost a year prior. It seemed highly unlikely, but you always tried to look at the brighter side to things.

All of the signs were in your face. You never missed the aroma of sweet perfume wafting from his dress shirts, the random text messages he would receive in the middle of the night, maroon lipstick stains on his white collar, the out of the blue disappearances throughout the day. He had also become quite secretive of his whereabouts as well. He would often not reply to your messages until way later. It was so painfully obvious that he wasn’t telling you the truth. You honestly wished he would so you could just abandon the man entirely.

Despite all of that, you stayed. You would put on fake smiles and those stupid “I love you’s” that meant absolutely nothing at the end of the day. Being with him exhausted you. You knew a man like him would never ever change. Once a cheater, always a cheater. It was a very well known fact.

One day, you were informed by your boyfriend that you had to attend a dinner party for the company he worked for. It was very professional and Yakashi had drilled it into your mind that you must dress very nicely and be as polite as possible with his coworkers. Originally, you didn’t want to attend such an event. Yakashi would probably just toss you to the side and do whatever the fuck he wanted with whoever. It honestly didn’t seem like it would be of any positive benefit for you, so the idea of going with him seemed sour inside your mind. Why would you get all dolled up to be seen with a man who never knew your worth? His damn coworkers probably were aware of his actions too, so you would probably receive lots of side eyes and whispers. 

However, despite showing little interest in going, he somehow managed to get you to come. 

Your dress was gorgeous. It was black one that stopped around mid-thigh and you wore gold jewelry to match it. Your boyfriend didn’t show much interest in your outfit. He gave you that fake grin and whispered how great you looked, but you could tell by his dull eyes and forced tone that he was lying to you. You swallowed down that anger that bubbled inside you and put on a feigned expression. You just had to survive through the entire night and then you would be able to put the whole thing behind you.

Once you arrived at the banquet hall, you saw just how elegant it was. The inside was honestly like a mansion with how luxurious it presented itself to be. The floors were made of a rich marble that had specks of gold inside it, an impressively large chandelier hung above your head with a few tears of glass hanging from the sections. Overall, it was a beautiful sight. It just went to show how much your boyfriend’s job took these things seriously. Everyone around you was dressed from head to toe in expensive items. Some of the women wore red bottoms, while the men had Rolex watches wrapped around their wrists. It was no wonder these people seemed happy to stay at their jobs. 

A few of Yakashi’s coworkers had approached him when you both stepped into the ballroom. There was soft music being played from a piano that sat in the corner of the room. It was a very lively place. Though, your positive emotions were soon washed away by your boyfriend. 

“This is (Y/N), she’s my date for tonight.”

For tonight.

Those words pissed you off more than you realized. You would have thought that your own boyfriend would introduce you as his girlfriend or even his significant other, but no. You were just his “date” for the evening. That’s how you came to the conclusion that he wouldn’t ever return back to the person he used to be. He was practically concealing your relationship from the eyes of other people. It made you sick. Was he embarrassed to be seen with you? Was there something wrong with you? There were so many itching questions. One thing was for sure though, you felt insecure. You despised feeling such an emotion at your age, but the man you were with did absolutely nothing to tame those self destructive thoughts you had on a daily basis. He put you in such an uncomfortable position that night that you had thoughts of just leaving early.

You managed to maintain a composed expression and introduced yourself to the people he worked with. They asked about what your job was and how you knew Yakashi.

If only they knew.

After some mingling and conversation, you both ended up at a round table with chairs circling it. Your name was on a small place card, written in some of the most beautiful cursive you had ever laid your eyes upon. You had assumed that is where you would be sitting, so you plopped down on the chair beside Yakashi. Soon enough, other guests had arrived and joined you both at the table. All of them were familiar to your boyfriend. Once introductions were over, you had completely tuned out the entire conversation. He blabbed on about work and how he couldn’t wait to buy this new car he had been eyeing for a little while. All of it bored the hell out of you. He never once considered what you might be feeling, nor did he make any effort to include you in the conversation. It honestly felt like you were sitting at a table back in high school. 

It wasn’t until about ten minutes in that someone else had approached the table. Everyone sitting there had lightened up and began shaking hands with someone who was standing right beside the table. Yakashi sounded more thrilled than he was before, so you lifted your eyes away from the tablecloth to see who was there. Your eyes landed on a very fine man. He made your heart race with nervousness, and he was honestly just drop dead gorgeous.

He wore a navy blue suit that looked more expensive than the rent Yakashi paid. A tattoo had trailed down his hand and a nice gold watch was wrapped around his wrist. He had eyes the color of amethyst and his hair was styled in a mullet that paused at his shoulders. The color was a mix between black and lavender. Some of his bangs had covered his eyes, but it seemed just comfortable enough for him to see. You didn’t know who he was, but judging by everyone’s demeanor towards him, you came to the conclusion that he was of some importance to everyone there. Your boyfriend was speaking with him in such a way like he was trying to impress him. Everyone else was sort of doing the same thing, and they all seemed to be on eggshells around the mysterious man. His identity to you was unknown. You had never seen him prior to the dinner party, and your boyfriend never really mentioned anyone fitting his description. Not surprising.

Then, much to your shock, the man noticed your presence at the table. He sensed your awkwardness and sort of felt bad for you. He completely missed you at the table, and who was he to not be a proper host? 

“And who are you?”

Once you lifted your eyes, you saw him staring at you. Your mouth had gone completely dry and you had no idea what to say. All of the guests, including Yakashi, had their eyes on you. His voice was smooth and it slipped through your ears like honey. 

Yakashi seemed to notice you being unmoved by the question asked to you. 

“This is-“

“I didn’t ask you, I asked her.”

The atmosphere around your table fell still at the man’s response to your boyfriend. You had never seen someone speak to him in such a manner, and it even astounded some of the people sitting around you. Yakashi’s face had turned somewhat red from embarrassment. Who was this man? He easily had the respect of every individual in that room, but what was he to them? Was he a coworker who had no problem putting others in their place? Could he be higher up? Your mind buzzed with questions you had very little answers to. He was very bold, though. You would fully give him that credit. 

“I’m (Y/N).. Yakashi’s date.”

The man beside your boyfriend flickered his eyes from where you were sitting to Yakashi. It was almost like he was reading if you guys were some perfect match. There was this expression on his features that seemed almost.. shady. A look that screamed he knew something that he wasn’t supposed to. It made you wonder what that could be. This man clearly had some hold over your boyfriend that you had yet to know of.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Rindou Haitani. I’m Yakashi’s boss and owner of this business.” 

Your mouth almost fell open when he said that he was your boyfriend’s boss. It all added up now. Everyone had to respect the man who was the reason for their employment. It was no wonder Yakashi was trying to suck up to that man. Rindou had that high power over the rest of them. It honestly made you intrigued. He was quite the man. He then approached you in your seat, barely giving any mind to Yakashi who had become very quiet since Rindou had shut him down. He outstretched his hand, and you gladly reached over to shake it. He had a delicious cologne lingering from his suit. It smelled expensive. Better than anything Yakashi had ever owned. 

“I hope you enjoy yourself tonight.”

His voice sent shivers ghosting down your spine from how deep it had become. Once he released your hand, he walked away from your table and left you ultimately stunned. He went off to greet other guests and people who worked with him. All you could think was the same thing over and over the entire evening.

What a man.

Rindou was clearly no stranger to the business game. He had his shit together, and fuck, he was so handsome. You were wondering how a man like that didn’t have multiple women clinging onto his arm. He seemed to have no problem telling people the blunt truth, which was so attractive. A man who could make others cower in their knees was so hot to you. You knew having a wandering eye while being in a relationship was wrong, but your boyfriend was doing it twenty four seven. He was going behind your back all the time, so you reciprocating that energy only felt deserved if you were being honest. He didn’t have to know either. 

Afterwards, you had seemed to always somehow run into the man. 

There was an occasion where Yakashi needed you to come drop off his lunch. You were in the middle of dealing with something for work when the man had phoned you over the issue. As much as you wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and that he had a car too, you obliged and went back to your shared apartment to grab the small container that contained his lunch. You made the lengthy drive to the building he worked in which was downtown. Your boyfriend instructed you to leave it in the break room and he would grab it once he had a moment of free time. Once you reached the top floor, the receptionist had directed you down a lengthy corridor with many doors on each side. Some of them were shut with clients sitting in the chairs, while others were left wide open and empty. He worked at such a great place, yet he was a piece of shit. 

Eventually, you had gotten lost in the hallways of the building. Some of them led you absolutely nowhere or they went to doors that could only be gone through with a key card. You didn’t have one, so you honestly felt like you were an idiot for walking around so freely. Someone was bound to catch you at some point and question your reasoning for loitering in an empty hall with a container of food in your hand. You figured you would call Yakashi and ask him to pick it up somewhere else. 

“Lost?”

The container in your hand almost went slack when a voice spoke from behind you. For a moment, you believed that someone had found you lingering around and were suspicious of your presence. However, that soon changed when you realized it wasn’t a mere stranger concerned for your well being. It was Rindou Haitani. The same man who owned that building you were mindlessly walking around in. This had to be one of the most embarrassing moments of your life. The big boss caught you standing there, looking like an idiot. He probably would throw you out and scold your boyfriend for allowing you to enter. You couldn’t wait to feel that wrath once you went home.

“I was looking for Yakashi.. he told me to bring his lunch.”

Your eyes didn’t miss the way Rindou’s expression slightly shifted at the mention of Yakashi. He honestly looked like he had something he wanted to say, but he chose to keep his mouth shut. Instead, that odd expression averted to a smile. 

“Yakashi is busy, but I can take it to him for you. I can escort you to the exit as well, if you’d like.” 

Your eyes widened a little from his sudden proposal, but it was a lot better than wandering around without knowing a damn thing. Plus, who were you to deny an offer like that? You had only about fifteen minutes before you were supposed to head back to work, and you weren’t trying to piss off your boss by being late. You then walked over to the man, handing the container of food to him. Rindou was much more attractive up close. He seemed more professional and serious rather than his social demeanor he had at the dinner party. 

“Thank you, I appreciate it. I have to go back to work anyway.”

Rindou seemed satisfied with your response, so he motioned for you to follow him down the corridor. It was sort of a quiet walk. Neither of you spoke any words, but the silence between you both was comfortable like you two were good friends or something. You passed by a few people who said hello to him or asked him how his day was. All of them instantly shifted in their stances when he passed by. It was almost amazing to see how quick people change when someone in a higher position of power is in their presence. He could change the entire energy of a room with just a snap of his finger.

Eventually, you both made it to the end of the corridor and back where you began. You were relieved to have made it out without an issue from Rindou. He would probably gossip about that experience later on. This had to be the oddest experience you have ever had, and you hoped to drown it out later on by going back to work. 

“Have a good one, (Y/N). I hope to see you again soon.”

You wished that was the last time, but it wasn’t.

You had faced Rindou multiple times after that. Whether it was dropping off some food for Yakashi, or seeing him at one of those dinner events. He was always somehow around the corner, and each time he was always conversing with you in a polite manner. There were things that Rindou did that no other man, not even Yakashi, would ever do. He held doors open for you, pulled out your chair one time, and he had even complimented your diamond earrings that you had received as a gift from your mother. He was a sweet man. He could almost give you cavities from it all. There was a feeling inside your chest that was warm whenever Rindou was around you. It was wrong, so wrong. You still had a boyfriend and that was his boss. Seeing it as something more than just professional would be inappropriate, and you knew that.

Things had really come to a head when you had gone to another dinner event with Yakashi. He had wandered off somewhere inside the banquet and left you by yourself at the table. He was probably in some bathroom with his tongue buried down some girl’s throat, but at that point, you could care less. She could have whatever shitty man your boyfriend was. 

You sat there, bored. Not much was really happening except for the many conversations you could hear around you. People were discussing business deals and flexing whatever amount of money they received on their check. All of it was foreign to you and just really boring. You honestly just considered ordering an Uber and going home by yourself. You could care less if Yakashi would complain the next morning. It’s not your fault that your shitty excuse of a boyfriend decided to leave you there unattended. 

You reached for your purse which was hanging on the wooden chair you were sitting on. You pulled the buttons holding it together apart and reached inside of it to fish for your cell phone. As you were digging around, you paused when you felt something foreign inside of your bag. There was a small piece of paper folded neatly. Your eyebrows furrowed the moment your eyes settled on the object. You had no recollection of placing the paper inside your bag before you left, so you grew curious as to what was inside of it. You pulled it out and opened the top flap, reading the contents written on it. 

“You seem lonely, call me sometime- Rin.”

Warmth spread across your cheeks when you noticed his phone number was written just underneath the text. There was no way he actually made such a bold move. It felt unbelievable to you. A man like him doing such a thing had completely thrown you off. It could have very easily been a test. He could have just done that to see if you would possibly send him a message, but it didn’t seem like Rindou had anything against your boyfriend. 

You decided to conceal the secret and hide the phone number in your purse. Yakashi would never search through your things unless he was looking for his cell phone, but he hardly ever gave you the chance to even hold it. He was always so secretive. He had even gone to the lengths of removing you as his lock screen. You knew exactly why he did such a thing, so that’s why you never asked him about it. He would make up some stupid excuse and expect you to believe it. That’s what happened when you questioned him the first time. He practically tugged at certain strings to make his stories believable, but you weren’t an idiot anymore. You knew full well what the hell he was doing behind your back, so you could care less if he found the phone number in your purse. He probably was just waiting to catch you doing something so he could seem like the good guy in whatever foolish story he’d tell his buddies or his next girlfriend.

You never texted Rindou. To be honest, you were afraid to. He was quite an intimidating guy and you weren’t sure what he would say, so you pretty much left it be. You only saw him twice after he dropped his phone number in your purse, and all of them were very friendly encounters. Though, you didn’t miss the way he placed his hands around your waist to “scooch” past you in the crowded room. Those touches sparked on your skin and made you melt like putty, but you remained firm and tried to stay calm.

That was until tonight hit. You were fully expecting those text messages from Yakashi. He claimed that he would be staying late after work to deal with some extra paperwork left behind, and you just shrugged when he told you. You honestly found peace in his absence in your bedroom. You didn’t have to deal with those fake words he’d say to you whenever he lied down in your bed. It also meant that you got to do whatever you wanted. 

It was already five past midnight. You just reacted to the text messages and exited the text app. You already know what the hell he was up to right now. He was probably dragging some girl to a hotel room and having sex with her. It almost felt unfair to you. He was here having the time of his life without a care in the world, while you were at your apartment in an empty bed with no one beside you. It was lonely. You never considered cheating on Yakashi before. Some people say it’s unclassy to do the same thing to someone else, but that never made sense to you. If anything, it made a lot of sense to do it right back to the person who destroyed your trust in the first place. Although, sometimes it backfired, and the guy or girl wins in the end because they cover their ass so hard that you’re made into the villain. Some people just loved living in denial. Even your own friends told you to do the same thing to him, but with who? You had guy friends but none of them would ever sleep with you while you were with Yakashi.

An idea crossed into your mind when browsing your brain for a man you could possibly sleep with, and it was a bad one.

You don’t know why you thought of Rindou as the first candidate. It must have been his polite demeanor towards you. For once, a man made you feel like you mattered. He made you feel beautiful and his presence was almost comforting to you in a way. You sort of blamed it on the fact that he was the first person showing you attention in almost six months, but there was just something about that man that was completely alluring to you. He did things that Yakashi never could do. 

You scrolled through your contacts to find Rindou’s. It had remained untouched since you added it into your phone secretly. You weren’t sure if the man wasn’t even awake at this hour. He could very much be asleep in his own bed, and it honestly seemed a little embarrassing to wake up to see a missed text from you. You chewed on your bottom lip, heart pounding furiously against your chest as you typed and deleted a message on your keyboard. Was this even a good idea? He could very easily tell Yakashi or even somebody else, but Rindou didn’t even know you two were in a serious relationship. He claimed you were his “date” so maybe Rindou had assumed you were single, but truth is, you weren’t. The last thing you would want is this circling back to Yakashi and ending up in deep shit. He had a big mouth on him. 

Though, the pure thought that your own boyfriend was out there with some other woman angered you. He had gotten away with it so many times that you pretty much didn’t give a fuck if he found out. Yakashi wasn’t an idiot. He knew exactly what he was doing to you, and that needed to come to a close. 

Fuck it.

You sat up in your bed and began thinking of a text. You wanted something simple and casual. He was in fact a businessman and typing like you were a damn teenager in heat would rub this man the wrong way. You wanted to play it cool and safe. Moving too quickly might cause a rift between you both.

You: hi rindou, it’s (y/n)

Once you sent the message, you clicked your phone off and waited. Your heart was slamming against your rib cage and your mouth had gone completely dry. You sort of prayed that he was asleep so you could deal with such a matter tomorrow morning. Honestly, you just hoped you didn’t look like an idiot messaging him in the middle of the night. He could very easily be busy too and not paying attention to his cell phone.

You were about to give up about five minutes in, but the vibration of your phone made you fumble for your device. 

Rindou replied.

Rindou: took you a while 

Rindou: but it’s a little late princess.. what’s got you messaging me?

The pet name made your cheeks burn. You didn’t know why, but the thrill of this conversation was making you excited. It was almost like doing such a thing was good for you. After all, it was Rindou Haitani that you were messaging with. He seemed like the kind of man that could get anything he wanted without having to apply force to get it. 

You: i’m just bored and can’t sleep

You: do you want to come over?

Asking that question took a lot of confidence for you to do. You had no idea what he might be thinking right now. He could easily laugh and just block your number right then and there if he wanted to. He made you nervous. The good and bad kind. You hoped that he had something good to say, and you would respect any decision that he came forth with. If that wasn’t his cup of tea, then that was completely okay with you. 

Rindou: mhm sure

Rindou: send me your address i’ll swing by 

Your eyes widened and shock was written all over your features. He actually said yes to you. You couldn’t believe what the hell you were reading at that moment. A huge wave of relief had crashed over you at his reply. You feared that he might make fun of you or joke about it, but he didn’t. This probably was something he was used to very often. He seemed like a ladies man if you were being honest. He probably had tons of women in his bed before.

You wasted no time and sent your address to the man. Little did you know that the text you sent would be the reason that Rindou, not even thirty minutes later, had his cock stuffing inside your tight little hole. 

Your legs had been spread apart and your clothes were all discarded onto the floor near your bed. Rindou was big. He was splitting your pussy apart with his thrusts that you could hardly take him. He was so handsome up above you. His lilac hair clung to his forehead from the beads of sweat that had formed on his skin, and there was a slight dust of pink that swept across his cheeks. He was fucking you so good. It was like scratching an itch inside of your brain. He was so much better than anyone else you had ever been in bed with. God, where the hell had he been your entire life? He was right under your nose the whole time. 

Your hands held onto his broad shoulders, eyes trailing down the tattoo that covered the right side of his body. He was gorgeous to look at. He had such a divine physique underneath his clothes that it turned you on even more seeing him naked. “Ah! Rindou.. fuck.. so good!” your voice was whiny and almost breathless as you spoke. Hearing that tone made Rindou all the more needy to fuck your brains out.

He smirked at the noises you were making. He knew you were probably a goddess in bed, but he never imagined that you would be this beautiful underneath him. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. There was just so much to look at. Your gorgeous face, those pretty tits that were bouncing with every thrust of his hips, the way your cunt sucked in his cock. He couldn’t believe a woman like you was being fucked by him right now. “Yeah.. keep callin’ for me, angel! Say my name..” his fingers curled around the sheets that were beside your bed. They turned painfully white from how hard his grip was on the fabric. 

Neither of you had expected this moment to ever become a reality. It honestly started out casual. Rindou had arrived within about fifteen minutes. It was much quicker than you had expected, but you gladly opened the door and allowed him inside. He was not in his usual suit and tie that he prodded around in at work. Instead, he wore sweatpants the color of charcoal and a loose white t-shirt. He was a lot more friendly and sort of dropped that professional tone he had whenever he saw you. It was kind of like whiplash seeing him cracking jokes and swearing like a damn sailor inside your room, but that nature made the atmosphere less tense. You felt like you could actually speak with him without walking on eggshells. 

Eventually, the funny and light conversations turned much darker and more somber. You sort of cracked. You hesitated so many times, but all of the emotions inside of you had flowed out about Yakashi. Rindou listened intently as you spoke about the many affairs he had behind your back. You ranted and spoke about how he was still doing it now, and how his treatment towards you has only made you angrier with the man. It was surprising to Rindou that you were aware of such a thing, because he ultimately revealed to you that he knew something was up. He knew you weren’t just Yakashi’s date that night, because he had seen a framed photo of you both in his office a while back. It wasn’t until he noticed that photograph disappear and women appearing randomly in his office that he placed the pieces together and realized he was either cheating or single. That first one seemed likely when he saw you walk in with him at the dinner party. 

Rindou felt bad for you. He truly did. You had stayed in a relationship that completely drained you and you feared becoming homeless because of him. He understood that internal fight with wanting to stay, but also knowing that it isn’t right to. You deserved so much better than that. 

He knew it was wrong, but he kissed you. 

For a minute, you were frozen, but you then kissed back when you felt how warm his lips were against your own. Rindou asked if that was something you wanted to do with him, and you hastily said yes to him. You didn’t give a shit about Yakashi anymore and you had honestly moved on a while ago. You knew he did too, so none of it mattered to you anymore. All you desired was Rindou, and that energy was gladly reciprocated. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him. 

Rindou took genuine care of you. He thought of you as fine china that could be broken at any moment. You were delicate and beautiful. You didn’t deserve to be tampered with by some lame excuse of a man who didn’t deserve you. Rindou was going to show you how much he valued you as a person. Cheating on someone was pussy shit. He knew better than to ever do that to someone else. Yakashi could go fuck himself if he believed that he was some great guy. Rindou was about to fuck the shit out of his girl and not think twice about it. 

You were in complete and utter bliss. Rindou had complete control over your body, and he was doing everything to make you wrap around his finger. You stared at him with hazy eyes and just let the pleasure take over you. You completely submitted to him. “Rindou! Rindou! S-Shit..” you arched your back upwards to feel more of his fat cock. He was irresistible right now. In all honesty, you wished you had made a move much sooner if you knew he would be fucking you this great on your shared bed. “So good.. mmph! Need you..” 

Rindou’s hand went to trail up your body. Your skin formed goosebumps at his gentle touch against your skin. His mouth watered at the sight of your hardened nipples. You were such a fucking beauty. He would treat you so much better than that stupid asshole. He didn’t give a shit. He would probably fire Yakashi once the weekend was over. “Fuck.. yeah? You need me, princess?” his hand went to wrap around your throat, squeezing hard enough to restrict air from flowing into your lungs. “Tell me how bad you need me, baby. Need me more than him? More than that lousy dick he was giving you? Fucckkk, baby, I’ll give you it all. Won’t need that fucking asshole after I’m done..” 

You could hardly speak from his hold on your neck. His possessive side turned you on so much. Rindou could feel your walls fluttering around him, and it made him all the more excited. You liked hearing him say such things to you. He would for sure take a note of that. “Rin..dou! Y-Yes!” you managed to gasp through his firm grip. Your eyes showed how desperate you were for the man. 

Rindou’s pace had suddenly picked up. Your pussy was dripping wet. It was making a mess on the blankets that you were lying on. Neither of you paid much mind to that. All you wanted was each other, and you were for sure going to have one another no matter what. Your eyes practically rolled back at the tip of his dick kissing at your g-spot. White stars filled your vision every time he reached that delicious spot. He was finding all the areas that made you dizzy, and all you could do was take it. He was truly good at what he did. He was so much better than Yakashi. He didn’t make you feel that burning desire in your gut that Rindou was creating for you. 

He thought you were one of the most beautiful women he ever laid his eyes upon. When he saw you that night at the dinner party, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. Meanwhile, your shit boyfriend was sitting there beside you not saying a damn word. If it wasn’t so professional, Rindou would have escorted you elsewhere for a drink or even a private walk around the banquet. Your dress was gorgeous and the fact that Yakashi paid zero attention to you made him appalled. You were perfect in every aspect. Someone had to inform you of that, and it was going to be him. 

Rindou abandoned his hold on your throat, allowing oxygen to fill into your lungs and for proper blood flow to return to your brain. Your lips fell slack and those pretty moans of yours echoed off the walls of your bedroom. Hearing his name only encouraged him to go faster and to place you on cloud nine. He took your thighs and put them around his waist, earning a much deeper angle. Rindou already knew he found that nice button inside of you already. Your whines would grow sharper the more he hit it. “So perfect, baby! Love this fuckin’ pussy.. he didn’t know what the hell to do with all of this, yeah?” he then leaned towards the shell of your ear, his breath tickling your skin. “Well I do.. and I’ll never that – fuck! – asshole touch you again!”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him towards you for a sloppy wet kiss. He swallowed every noise that escaped your throat with such ease. Your nails dug into the flesh of his shoulder blade. He was winding you up so perfectly that all you could even think of was Rindou. It was almost too much to handle. “R-Rindou..!” you broke the kiss, feeling almost too tired to be able to kiss back. “Close.. I’m close..!”

He grinned devilishly at those words. He knew that moment would arrive soon, considering your pussy was closing in around his shaft. Rindou wanted to make you cum so hard that you would only think about him. You needed someone to fuck? You better come and call him up, because he was the only one who could make you feel that way. Your cunt was calling for him the second he took your panties off earlier. “Yeah? Close, princess? Shit, I can feel ya clenchin’ real tight for me..” he smirked. “Gonna make you all mine, no one else’s. Especially not that asshole..” 

The thought of belonging to Rindou turned you on so much. You didn’t oppose the idea whatsoever because you wanted him just as much as he wanted you. He could give you the things you had been lacking for the past few months, and that only made you need him more than ever. “Yes! God, yes! ‘M yours, Rindou!” you cried, looking at him with that fucked out expression he loved so much. 

Rindou placed one of his hands on your hip, holding it quite firmly. He started fucking you at such a relentless pace it almost knocked all of the wind out of your lungs. He hit your g-spot so many times that your vision had become blurry from the repetitive thrusts against it. The knot inside your belly tightened, only drawing you closer to that climax you wanted more than anything. “C’mon, angel, be a good girl and cum around my cock..” he encouraged you. “You got a real man fuckin’ you, baby. Fuck! Would never cheat on you.. I’d give you the – shit – the fuckin’ world, princess.”

Your orgasm then rippled through your body. A loud whine filled the room and your body shook from the intensity of it. You hadn’t cum that hard in a very long time. Rindou smirked when he felt your pussy clamp around his cock. Your walls spasmed and twitched, creating a white ring around his dick from your cum. You were such a good girl. 

Rindou was close to his own high. His cock was twitching inside of your cunt, and there was a pit forming in his belly. You could also tell from the way he grunted that he was almost there. Your mind was foggy, but the desire to have him filling you up was there. You wanted him to claim you as his, and that was the most perfect way to do it. “C-Cum inside me, Rindou..!” your voice was somewhat shaky from the high of your orgasm, but he understood you loud and clear.

You were so fucking nasty, but he loved it. Seeing you begging for his cum to be inside of you only made him more excited to let go. “Want me to cum inside you..? Oh, baby, I’ll do just that..” he groaned, feeling his balls twitch. “Gonna make sure you’re nice and filled.. yeah. He won’t break that pretty little heart of yours anymore. You’re my girl now, baby! ‘M gonna spoil you rotten.. give you more than he ever did..”

A moan slipped from his lips when he finally reached his high. Rindou held your hip with such a tight grip it would probably leave a bruise. His thick cum seeped into your cunt, covering your velvet walls with white. The warmth spread across your belly, earning several shivers from you. He then leaned down, pressing his lips against yours. This kiss wasn’t aggressive or rough, but instead, it was sweet and quite gentle. It made you melt. There was this swell inside your chest when you both made contact with one another. He was the one person you had been searching for. You spent all these months wallowing in your pain and anger, and having this moment made those negative thoughts disappear within an instant. Rindou was truly the person you needed. 

He broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against your own. Both of you were quite exhausted and your bodies were at their limits. Rindou thought you looked so pretty. Your messy hair, glossy but also swollen lips, clouded hues. There was so much to like about you. How the hell did you end up with an asshole like Yakashi? He never deserved any ounce of your time or energy. That needed to change, and Rindou would happily be the person to shift that.

“You’re so beautiful.. I-“

“What the fuck?!”

You and Rindou both turned your heads to look at your bedroom door, which was now wide open. Shock wrote itself on both of your features. You weren’t expecting Yakashi to be standing there. You thought the man would return sometime tomorrow morning like he promised. You would have enough time by then to cover your tracks, but his sudden arrival completely threw you and Rindou off. Neither of you knew what to do or say, so it was somewhat awkward. 

However, Rindou cleared his throat. Yakashi was standing there stunned at what he was seeing. His own boss was lying in bed with you. Rindou glanced towards your boyfriend with a serious expression. “Yakashi..” he shifted around on the bed, allowing you to cover yourself. 

“Rindou..” your boyfriend replied, watching with intense eyes as he stood up.

“You’re fired, I want your shit gone by Monday.”

[igotanidea]

Nikolai Lantsov x inferni!reader : Traitor

It was the same nightmare over and over again. Making her wake up in the middle of the night in tears with heart beating way to fast and ragged breath.

If only it was just a nightmare.

But it was more.

It was a memory.

Flahsback

“Here she is. My favorite Inferni.” Darkling smiled with his brightest smile, greeting Y/N as she entered his chambers.

“General Kirigan” she acknowledged him without any hesitation in the voice, and yet screaming inside. He was nice, too nice and she knew exactly why. He needed something from her. More precisely, he needed her.

While everyone at court were fooled by Kirigan’s charm and well put-on pretenses, Y/N was the only one to see right through him. The king, the queen, all the Grishas…. So silly when confronted with his bright smile and practiced speaking.

If only Nik was here…

But “the puppy prince” left few years prior, leaving her alone to deal with the potential enemy of the state and it hurt like hell. Firstly, because it seemed like Nik never cared about her at all, secondly because all the court and royal family believed her to be insane and mentally impaired the very second she even hinted at Darkling’s intention being dishonest. Y/N knew he was searching for the sun summoner and why was he doing this, but had to keep it a secret. It was like being torn into two opposite direction. She had to protect the royal family and Ravka she swore an oath to and that came with exposing Darkling, but at the same she had to protect herself and that meant getting into general’s good graces to avoid getting hanged for treason. And still protect the Lantsov, even that fool or a price Vasily.

Being some sort of double agent came with a heavy price.

Poor girl.

This was why she was called upon Kirigan every night and walked into his chambers. He always wanted something in return for keeping her secrets. Sometimes he needed her big brain and Inferni skills, sometimes it was .... more .... but it always, always left her with scars.

“Please Y/N. There is no need for formalities here.” He eyed her with those predatory eyes

“Why am I here tonight, general?” Y/N asked, still keeping her head high, back straight and gaze hardened.

“I….” he took a step closer and waved a hand towards the guards dismissively. The men bowed and left immediately “I have needs tonight.”

“Why… why don’t you ask Zoya?” she hissed “she’ll be more than happy to help you with those.”

“Oh, yes, Zoya…. You are not really in the good terms lately, are you?” he smirked, grabbing her hips and pulling her closer. “but then, you are not really anyone’s favorite Grisha, even in your own order, am I right?” his grip became unbearable “do not worry, dear. It’s a fair exchange. You give me that fire of yours and I keep you protected from anyone else” he muttered into her ear and she knew she was trapped for that night.

***

After everything she was left with pure hatred towards herself. She knew this was just a begging since intimacy was the first step. And after he made her a sobbing mess on his mercy, there were more …. practical tasks. Fires, strategies and plans she was always good at making.

But even with her help, Kirigan was slowly slipping. Slowly, yet consistently, and soon enough Grisha started seeing past his charm. Especially when he brought the sun summoner to the little palace. Y/N though herself to be smart enough to warn her about general’s purpose and tried to reach towards Alina.

Sadly, she was not.

And her attempt to warn miss Starkov ended up with the real, physical scars on her back. Those that could never properly heal even with Genya’s help.  The tailor was probably the only person in the palace who knew who did this to Y/N, but never said a thing. At least she was a bit of support.

However, the pain coming from the cuts was unbearable and was following her for days.

And so she made a decision to flee and search for Nikolai to bring him back to the country. She escaped during the night and when it was discovered the next morning she was quickly announced the wanted traitor.

***

She found Nikolai a few moments later, by accident, while walking the streets in some small village. She was exhausted and was slowly losing hope for the future when she heard noises coming from around the corner. A man and a woman, Shu, judging by the looks were laughing and bantering with each other and when Y/N raised her bloodshot eyes she saw the person she was so desperately looking for.

“Ni….” she started, but he was faster.

“Leave us.” He commanded his companions and only when they left he came towards her, wrapping arms around her. “Y/N” he whispered, breathing her in but quickly pulling away “you look terrible. And you could definitely use some cleaning.” He smirked “Why are you here?”

“Nik….” She sobbed desperately, tears falling from her eyes like a fountain she could not contain once they started “I….”

“Hey, hey, it’s ok. Sh….” He hugged her tightly against his chest “you can tell me. Although I may have to warn you, no one here, except Tamar and Tolya knows my real identity. I’m Sturmhond.”

“The pirate?” she frowned, looking at him with surprise in the eyes

“Privateer….” He hissed “Now come on, whatever happened to you, you are safe now.”

He took her upon the ship and listened carefully to her story. She told him everything, except for the part how Darkling damaged her. It was not important, the country had to be put first. And it was, since they both created a plan to save it. First, get the sun summoner, secondly get Nik back to his prince-self and third, defeat the Darkling.

***

They were spending too much time together on the Volkvolny. There were to many jokes, silly fights and tension. And soon the crew started making ambiguous allusions to the character of their captain and the Inferni’s relationship. And Y/n soon had enough of it so gathering herself she confronted Nik about it.

“Captain, can I have a word with you?” she entered his cabin, not really caring what the answer would be.

“My favorite Inferni….” Unknowingly he used the same words as Darkling and it made her flinch “missed me that much?”

“With all those comments I hear all the time it feels like you are always with me” she rolled her eyes

“Is that why you are here? Came to make the rumors a reality?”

“Not exactly. I came to remind you I will never….” She never get to finish when with one long stride he was right in front of her, grabbing her waist and connecting their lips. At first she froze, shocked by the unexpected action but when he tried to pull away, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to her.

“You were saying….?” He muttered

“Oh, shut up…” Y/N locked her hands around his neck, wanting more and knowing he could give her that. She did not protest when he lifted her and walked her to the bed, laid her gently and slowly started to undress her. Saints, she wanted more and more and more, getting so greedy. “Nik….” Her little moan only spur him on.

“Tell me what you want…” Nikolai’s lips moved onto her neck, hands getting under her coat, caressing the skin on the sides and stomach.

“I want….” She panted and smiled lightly, teasingly “I want you to show me if you are truly as good as you are bragging to be.”

“Hm…” she smirked “not sure if you ready for this, love.”

***

As much as she hated to admit it, he was good. Really, really good and left her fully satisfied when she fell asleep in his loving embrace and woke up in them a couple hours later. Her back to his chest. 

“Where did you get those scars?” he muttered kissing along her neck and shoulder, avoiding the damaged skin.

“I…. I don’t really want to talk about it.” She sighed deeply “at least not yet.”

“That sentence just confirmed you see us together in the future. I mean, of course you do, you caught a prince, fireball. A big fish, am I not? ”

“You are unbelievable….” She turned to the other side to face him

“But you love me, don’t you? You admitted that quite a few times …”

“I hate you.” she punched his chest “what time is it? Isn’t your crew going to look for you?”

“Maybe. But those marks I left on you will be enough of the explanation.”

“Marks?” her eyes widened “oh my…..”

“Besides, I am also sure they heard you scream my name.”

“I’m going to kill you, Nik!”

“Come on, it was good, wasn’t it?” he caressed her shoulders “you can admit it, I won’t judge. After all, I am the one who lost his mind for you.”

“You lost your mind when you were a kid, and never found it since.”

“And all of it, because of a certain Inferni which I feel in love with.”

“What….?”

“I’m serious, Y/n.” he looked straight into her eyes “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Nik.”

“Great. Now that we got this covered, time to get up and get back to work!”

***

Besides that little unplanned thing, everything went smoothly. Soon, Alina and Mal joined the crusade and they all returned to Ravka happily, ready to stand against Kirigan. Sad part, old rumors did not die and soon, the prince heard about Y/N’s past and about her apparently being a traitor.

End of flashback

She was with Kirigan again. He was too close, causing her so much pain and she could not endure it all. Her skin aching, reddening and bruising. Again and again and again.

And that made her woke up. Sweaty, shaken and terrified, turning around and trying to reach to other side of bed but she found it empty. He was probably in the adherent room, listening to all his advisors and Grisha filling him in on the country situation.

“Nikolai?” she came thought the door and surprisingly found him alone, sitting on the chair, head hung low, running a hand through his hair. “What happened, my love?” in a second she was next to him grabbing his hand and caressing it gently.

“I… I’ve spoken to some people.” He started “about the country.”

“Is it that bad?”

„Were you conspiring with Darkling?” he said suddenly, his voice cold as ice and she could not recall any time in the past he was so indifferent towards her.

“What?” she gasped taking a step back, utterly terrified by that simple question. No,no, no, no. Oh, saint, please no.

“Answer me, Y/N. Were. You. Scheming. With him?” now his tone was angered, he was clenching his teeth to prevent himself from yelling.

“How could you even ask me that?” she stuttered, her heart breaking.

“I have every reason to suspect you have not been loyal. First of them being the fact you never told me about your past here. You were not ready to talk about it, huh? Now it would make sense why you have those marks on your back. This was punishment, wasn’t it?” he stood up, towering over her and suddenly she felt so small, so vulnerable against his rage. How could she ever explain it to him to make him understand?

“Nik…” poor girl trembled, hurt beyond any recognition “you don’t believe the rumors, do… do you?”

“Give me a reason not to.”

“You have no right to judge me! You don’t know what it was like! What is felt like to be forced to do things you don’t want to just to keep yourself alive!”

“Don’t I?” he looked straight into her eyes and that struck her with the force of lightning.

“You…. You really think what they say is true…. You….Oh my god, you think I am a traitor!” she cried and hid face in hands to avoid looking at him. He thought she betrayed the Lanstovs, so how come at this moment it felt like he was the one to do exactly the same to her.  

“I’m not accusing you of anything. “I just don’t….” he took a sharp breath and closed his eyes “I don’t want to see you right now. I need to think.“

“Nik….” She cried “Please, you have to listen to me…. It’s not what …..”

“What I have to is for you to leave.”

“Please!” she tried again, reaching for his hand, but he just turned around “Nik, I love you, I was nothing more than loyal, all my life and this is what I get in return?”

“Leave.” he commanded with his price voice

“No.” Y/N was not going to give up so easily

“Don’t make it any harder than it already is.” He warned coldly, but his eyes showed that it was painful for him as well.

“Let’s just talk about it, love, I’m begging you. Darkling, he….”

“I’m sorry Y/N….” his voice broke a bit “you leave me no choice….”

“So what, you are going to call your guards to escort me? Put me under lock and key until you clarify the situation?” she mocked “Don’t bother. I’ll make it easy for you. Might as well save any remnants of dignity I have left. “

 “I promise, you will get fair judgment if you cooperate.”

“Fair judgement? How…. How is this fair?” she sobbed “how is this fair that you believed them against me? I….. you know what? Fine. I’ll go.” Y/N angrily wiped away the tears and fixed her pants “You may not have Lantsov blood in your veins, moi tsar, but you surely act like one.” She turned around and walked away with the guards, missing that utterly broken and hurt expression on his face. But he had it coming.

***

He regretted treating her this way the moment she walked thought the door.

He was torn.

He was a king, he was supposed to be firm, unwavering and deliver objective justice by not being biased by personal likings and feelings.

But it was so damn hard.

He loved her, like no one before, with all his heart. Nik had already forgiven her for everything or at least desperately wanted to do so, but King Nikolai had duties, obligations and had to protect Ravka and put it first. He could not tolerate any symptom of not being loyal. Not under the current circumstances. 

But she was so broken…. So hurt and scarred. He was the reason tears showed in her eyes and that urge to just run after her, grab her, pull her close and kiss the pain away was overwhelming.

Nik would believe a single word of denial of those allegations coming from her mouth, but king Nikolai needed hard proof.

He had no idea what to do apart from running hands through his hair in despair.

As if that could help

***

“I don’t envy her. First she was used as a Darkling toy, now got into the black books of the prince”

 “She should have been more careful. Playing double with Lantsov and Kirigan couldn’t have ended well.”

“But still, in addition to those scars on the back she will have some mental damage. I pity her. Truly.”

“I don’t. She always had too big appetite and ambitions for her own good and…..”

“What are you talking about?” Nikolai peeked through the door, overhearing the guards chattering

“Moi tsar” they both saluted and bowed in respect

“What is this about?” he insisted, demanding explanation “Talk. Now.”

And that was how he learned the other side of the story.

And it left him heartbroken and full of unimaginable amount of guilt.

She was never going to forgive him for treating her this way, but he was ready to beg on his knees just to see even a glimpse of warm feelings from her.

***

While Nikolai was listening to the story and swimming in regret, Y/N was lying on her bed, back to the door, curled up, sobbing and shaking. It was just too much. It felt like she was accused of so many terrible things, since she was 15. First by Lantsovs, then by Kirigan, then by her fellow Grisha (give or take a few exceptions), and now by Nikolai. The last one hurt the most.

He should have believed her, not the gossip.

He should have listened.

He shouldn’t have ask her for explanation of the matter.

He broke her heart with the use of one little word.

Traitor.

How could he think she would ever betray him or his famliy. Even after everything the Lantsov did to her?

She got scars because she never lost hope he will return and put Ravka back together.

She was used, manipulated and laughed at, just because she saw more than anyone else.

And now….

Now he wouldn’t want to see her.

“Y/N…..”

“Genya?” Y/N propped herself on the elbow, meeting with the scarred face of her best friend. “What…. what happened to you?”

“nietchevo’ya……”she whispered looking down onto the floor, hiding her damaged face behind hair

“Oh, Genya!” the Inferni stood up and hugged the tailor, both of the girls started crying even more “I am so, so, so sorry. You did not deserve this. None of us ever deserved this.”

“I….” Genya stuttered “I should have taken your side. Back then….. But I chose to be silent and …..”

“Sh, sh….” Y/N caressed her hair “It’s in the past. We cannot dwell on that. We need to stick together now, that;s the only way….”

“Please, forgive me for everything …..”

“You did nothing wrong, my friend.” Y/n looked her straight into the eyes “you hear me? Nothing. We have to make hard choices sometimes and carry the results with us. But it doesn’t make us bad people. It does not make us monsters.” 

“Is that what you truly believe in?” a small, broken male voice came from behind and both girls turned around only to spot Nikolai, with disheveled hair and reddened face.

‘moi tsar” Genya try to bow, but Y/N stopped her from this

“not until the coronation.” He simply stated

“I will leave you two alone….”

“Y/N…”  Nik whispered taking a step forward trying to make her back away “I… I don’t even know how to begin expressing …..”

“Why are you here, Nik?” she fixed her gaze on the floor, not ready to look into his eyes

“I know everything now.”

“Which is?” now she raised head, single droplets falling down her cheeks “You know how I got the scars? Did they tell you how I was treated by everyone here? By Darkling? By your mother? By Apparat? Like no one.”

“I know….”

“Did your informer told you I created dozens of plans and strategies in case of any attack from Darling attack on your family and shared them with generals and they called me insane? Did they tell you I was a playtoy? Did you believe them only because you saw Genya damaged in similar way? Did they tell you…..” she broke and fell onto the ground, clutching her heart desperately. It was all coming back and she could not breathe, feeling the panic attack taking over her.    

“My love.” In a blink of an eye, Nikolai was next to her, embracing her, hoping she would not push him back. Luckily she clung to him tightly, searching for that safety and protection she always felt in his arms. He messed up. Really bad. And yet she wasn't figthing him. “Saints, I swear I never meant to cause you any harm.”

“I…. I…… I know….. I.... need to tell you the whole truth, you deserve it."

"You don't have to say a single word, darling."

"I want to..... I....." she took a sharp, shaking inhal ready to go on, but was stopped.

“No. Hush. I’m so sorry.” He kissed her head and pulled her closer “I can’t even tell you how, love. I was torn between being your Nikolai and the king everyone wants me to be. Guess I failed at both.”

 “No.” she shook her head and slightly moved away, but still staying in his arms “you… did not....”

“I did, my love, if it puts you in such state.”

“No.” she gulped “you, Nik, have the power to make Ravka a better place. To make everything better. I know it. And it comes with hard choices and  …..”

“And you should never be one of those. You are my priority and I;m sorry I was blinded.”

“Heavy is the head who wears the crown….” She quoted the poem they used to know and mock as children “guess we only understand the true meaning behind it now.”

“I love you….” he cupped her cheeks and wiped the tears away

“I love you too….”

“Can you forgive me?”

“As long as you promise to never doubt me in the future. And to talk to me if something bothers you. I will never cause you any harm.”

“Guess now you will have to.” He smirked “You’re gonna have to make us even.”

“Idiot.” She rolled her eyes “you are an idiot, moi tsarevich. Here, I just offended the head of the country. Is that enough for you?”

“That’s a start.” He smirked and captured her lips in his, slowly, gently, caressing her scared back at the same time. “I swear to you, everyone who ever hurt you will be punished. I will hit Kirigan with everything I have. And as for my mother.... mother of Ravka" he muttered "I should have known what my family was capable of. I am sorry, my love...."

"Just be better."

"I will do the best I can as long as you are by my side." she nodded" now, come on, we got job to do and I need you with me.”

“Ugh! After a kiss like that I was expecting a bit more of an apology..."

“I solemnly swear to continue once we are done. Is that worth waiting for?”

“Let’s hope you can live up to your promises, prince.”  

@bradleyroosterbradshawfr

@hauntedenthusiasttragedy

[nothinggold13]

I said in the tags of my recent screencaps of Nick and Daisy dancing, "do you ever think. that all daisy really needed was a friend?" and apparently those tags resonated with more people than I thought they would. Now I think they call for a little elaboration.

On their first meeting in the book, it is established that Nick neither attended Daisy's wedding nor met her baby (who is 3 years old). Daisy says herself, "We don't know each other very well, Nick. Even if we are cousins." And yet in this same scene Daisy says that his arrival has her "paralyzed with happiness" and refers to him as "an absolute rose." She speaks of him and to him as if they are dearly close despite her own admittance that they hardly know each other at all. (Of course, this is easily explained when Nick says, "[She looked] up into my face, promising that there was no one in the world she so much wanted to see. That was a way she had." Daisy has a way of drawing people in, and making them feel important. I'm sure people make different things of this, some positive and some negative, but I won't dwell on it.)

But, perhaps more telling than the way she talks to Nick, is the fact that the first thing Daisy does when she has a moment alone with him is to confide in him. She says, "We don't know each other very well," and then, moments later, begins a story asking, "Would you like to hear?" She says she's grown cynical. She says she felt abandoned. She says — famously — "That's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool."

And then she laughs it off.

Nick himself calls it insincere, "[...]as though the whole evening had been a trick of some sort to exact a contributory emotion from me."

But... I don't know. I've been a Daisy defender since high school, and that's never gone away; Nick's perspective may communicate a lot of truth that we wouldn't know otherwise, but he is not infallible. And, personally, when it comes to the depths of what's going on with Daisy, I think he's rather blind.

Daisy has a philandering husband who a) physically abuses his mistress and b) canonically bruised Daisy in a way she brushes off carelessly but confesses, again, within her first meeting with Nick, so I don't believe it's a big jump to say he's likely been physically abusive towards her, too. And with that in mind, I think it's strange to expect anything Daisy does to be perfectly and infallibly sincere, when, at her core, she is always in a fight for survival.

(It's the same reason I believe she stays with Tom at the end, and lets Gatsby take the blame. Tom is the only security she knows. Gatsby hangs in the balance. She can't run away with him, now.)

So, to get back to my point, I don't think Daisy was being dishonest in her confessions to Nick. I think she was being painfully honest— so painful, in fact, that she had to cover it up with that cynical mask she's gotten so good at wearing. Daisy is not a beautiful little fool; she only wishes she was.

And then Nick appears, and they're not close, but they could be, and she jumps to trust him: to tell him everything she's scared to say aloud: to have him listen. "Would you like to hear?" she asks. It's more than a question. It's a plea.

I think of Daisy knowing her driver's name, and thinking it important to use it. I think of Daisy knowing Jordan's name when they were younger, when Jordan was two years her junior and admired her desperately. I think of Daisy calling Nick "my dearest one" along with every other kind word she ever said to him. I think of Daisy reaching and reaching and reaching, clinging desperately to anyone who might hold on to her.

And they all let her down.

I guess those who see Daisy as disingenuous at her core wouldn't read it this way at all, but I do. I think Daisy loves desperately, trying to fill a hole that is never filled; I think she's looking for someone to save her, and nobody ever cares enough to listen.

Not Jordan. Not Nick. Not even Gatsby, despite his obsession.

And maybe none of them could have saved her, but they could have listened. They could have cared. They could have asked her about the letter that made her nearly call off her wedding to Tom, instead of dressing her up and pushing her to go through with it. They could've supported her, and not gone out to party with her cheating husband and his mistress. They could've stopped asking for too much and accepted the fact she couldn't give it. They could've done something.

Because all Daisy really needed was a friend. And she never truly had one.

[raayllum]

I don't know whether this is a well discussed bit in the fandom or not, but if I may humbly request your consideration — why was Finnegrin really so keen to see dark magic? It went way past his own draconicide motives; why the goading to turn chains to snakes when that wasn't the spell he was after? Was it simply the writers indulging the fans bc let's be real they probably know it's a scene straight outta whumper fanfic? Or does someone have an interest in corrupting Callum and hired Finnegrin to make it happen?

followup to previous finnegrin ask: forgot to mention but I mean how did he even know callum knew dark magic at all? it's just Suspicious is all

I've written about Finnegrin's actions / his dynamic with Callum a couple of times (1, 2), but I think it ultimately comes down to Finnegrin inherently thinking/assuming that Callum is a liar and not being honest with himself, and Finnegrin just having zero qualms about dark magic.

For Callum, being dishonest with Finnegrin/himself is both true and not true. On the one hand, Callum doesn't tend to be a very good liar (stammering over himself in 1x02 about Ezran; Amaya's assessment of him in 5x03: "Callum, you are a terrible liar") and is arguably more honest with Finnegrin than he needs to be (why fess up to doing dark magic or reading it all, for example?) because Callum is just very bad at not wearing his heart on his sleeve. Callum is being honest when he corrects Finnegrin, i.e:

F: Listen boy, it ain't that complicated. You're a dark mage. All I'm asking for is one spell. C: I'm not a dark mage. F: You take me for a fool? You stole the wind right out of my sails.

Finnegrin assumes that because Callum is 1) a human and 2) a mage he must be a dark mage. This might indicate that even though Callum has his Sky staff that the pirates would've confiscated that the wind stealing spell that Callum did was more advanced than what you'd see of typical sky magic, indicating something else. But even when Callum corrects him, Finnegrin doesn't believe him — because Callum is lying — and eventually gets the truth of out him.

C: That was primal magic. I don't do dark magic! F: Never? C: Never.

This is important since, as Callum said earlier, "I will never help you" is likewise something that is going to proven untrue before the episode is over.

Finnegrin is frustrated because he knows, despite Callum's aversion to it, that the kid has done dark magic ("I did one spell. One. I had to, to save my friends") and therefore if that's been a moral bent once, it can probably be bent again.

So then the goading and pressure starts. Finnegrin goes for the clear weakness — going after Callum's friends — with the hand-cutting deal, but the group thwarts it out of solidarity. (Who knows if that would've stuck if Finnegrin had barrelled forward with it, but that's what canon divergences are for.)

So Finnegrin switches tactics and goes directly after the "if he did dark magic for his friends once, he'll do it again" and dangles his friends' safety/freedom over Callum to try to coerce him. Finnegrin thinks if he can break Callum's spirit — if he can get him to do dark magic again — Callum will also spill the beans about the dark magic spell. If he can find the weakness and coerce Callum accordingly, he'll get everything that he wants.

Finnegrin almost gets there, since I do think Callum would've done dark magic for the good of the group to try and free them (you can tell by his expression he's at least seriously considering) although I don't think Just using dark magic again would've made Callum fold on giving the spell. Finnegrin understands Callum quite well ("Just one spell, and you never thought about dark magic again?" / "Look at you: slave to your loyalties, your friends, you pride"), but not well enough to anticipate Callum doing dark magic in the latter half of the episode or that he'd connect to the Ocean arcanum. Finnegrin does seem to goad Callum in regards to fears of being corrupted ("Is it such a big deal dirtying yourself with a bit of dark magic") but it's not the focus; Finnegrin talks a lot more about love and control/freedom than he does a tangible idea of clean vs uncleanliness.

These are all some of the reasons that while Callum is undeniably concerned / disturbed by his decision to do dark magic again because he did so knowing it might make him more compromised to Aaravos in the future, I think giving up the spell also scares him — especially when doing the dark magic worked in its immediate goal (saving Rayla from Finnegrin) and giving up the spell didn't — because it makes it plain just how easily and effortlessly someone can use her to exploit him, and that's ofc scary as hell for a variety of reasons for him.

TLDR; Finnegrin was not hired by anyone (who would have the wherewithal or incentive to order him to do just about anything, never mind coerce an otherwise pretty random mage?) but he does exist from a story/narrative standpoint to challenge and push Callum further down his "path of darkness". Ergo, he's gotta be pushy and trying to break Callum into dark magic use. He doesn't necessarily succeed — he gets the spell irregardless of magic use, so Callum using dark magic becomes a further extension of the lengths he's willing to go to rather than outright coercion

[ouatsnark]

What happened to Emma Swan? DEBUNKED

Ever so often the Swan Queen fandom gets it in their heads to try & tear down Emma Swan's look and character development simply because she married a man… a man who treated Emma far better than their Queen. Their arguments prove that they lack the will to understand the writing as they blatantly twist canon to fit their narrative.

"What happened to season one Emma Swan? She went from happy to miserable because of Killian Jones" - Regina Apologists

This is a prime example of how Regina Apologists are so dishonest. The two pictures on the left are promotional shots from the show. The two pictures on the right are moments from Season 6 when Emma is in distress. The first image she is watching her parents sacrifice themselves for the good of Storybrooke (while Regina, who is at fault, does nothing). The second one is when Emma was having visions of her own death. These instances have NOTHING to do with Killian Jones! However, I can find plenty of times when Emma was in distress due to Regina Mills!

I have found so many examples of them pulling this crap. I would be here all day screen capping their dishonesty.

The truth: Emma Swan wasn't happy in Season 1 & that Emma wasn't the real Emma

Yes, you heard me. Season 1 Emma wasn’t the real Emma. The real Emma was hiding behind an armor of red leather jackets, fake eye-lashes and a chip on her shoulder to keep everyone at arms length. She put on a tough bravado as an armor to protect herself from the world because she'd been hurt too many times.

But as a time passed, Emma needed less and less armor. She became more trusting and more open to love, family and happiness. When she shed that armor she let herself be more vulnerable. She became more caring toward others. Which is about the bravest thing you can do.

The more and more we saw Emma opening up to love the less armor she used. And the less armor she used, the more we hear from the Anti-CaptainSwan crowd that...

How do you go from THIS to this??? - Regina Apologist

GASP! A woman didn’t put on a bunch of make up & doll herself up for you SO SHE MUST BE MISERABLE & has no agency because she’s at the mercy of everyone!!!

Imagine degrading a woman for not wearing make up or curling their hair? You have got to be kidding me.

Also, if you really believe this, then you should be looking more favorably on Killian Jones. He obviously loved Emma for who she was and not how much make up she is wearing unlike like you fools.

Never mind that once again they grab a screen cap of when Emma is going through a tough time...and why is she going through a tough time? BECAUSE OF REGINA MILLS! Yeah, Regina's other half is trying to hurt her parents and possibly kill everyone all because Regina can't stop wanting to be evil!

The Truth: Killian Jones made Emma Swan happy

It's literally in her wedding vows. And you can see it on her face whenever she looks at him. Killian Jones helped her trust in love and not be afraid of the future.

The truth: Regina is the cause of 99% of Emma's problems

I've seen Regina stans try to say that Emma looked miserable during her vows but they fail to actually listen to what she is saying. She is not only fighting tears but when she looks away, apparently sad, she is remembering her life before Henry. She is thinking about when Henry came to get her which wasn't a happy time at all really. She was thinking about what Regina did to her and her family.

But she looks at Killian with all the happiness in her heart.

"Emma went from a badass in Season 1 to a Stepford Wife" - Regina Apologist

I love how they continue to use promo shots and bts pictures.

It’s like the Anti-CaptainSwan crowd believes that there is only one way to be a strong woman: having a chip on your shoulder, being sarcastic to everyone, never needing anyone (especially a male) and being single (unless its w|w). They just don’t like the fact that Emma not only chose her own path but fights for everyone and not just their precious queen.

I have actually heard Rumple stans call Emma a Stepford wife as well because she chose Hook over Rumple's cowardly son Neal. Which is just hysterical since Belle is literally a Stepford wife. She ignores all of his abuse, his bad deeds and his manipulation and stays with him.

The Truth: Emma Swan was still a badass after getting together with Killian Jones:

S4 taking down dragon Lily

S4 telling grumpy to back off before she turns him into stumpy (hey you thought sarcasm was badass? there you go!)

S4 taking on the darkness to save the town

S4 defeating Cruella to save Henry

S5 going up against Nimue

S5 confronting Rumple about him being the Dark One again

S5 doing what she had to do and knowing she had to destroy Dark Hook

S5 telling Regina to fix her own damn problems for once cause Emma was done doing it for her

S6 going up against Wish Hook.

S6 going up against the Serum Queen

S6 sacrificing herself for Gideon and destroying the dark fairy

Furthermore, if Emma was that dependent on Killian Jones then she would not have left the Underworld without him. But she did leave him for the sake of Henry and others who needed her.

DEBUNKING MYTHS

Emma is complex but SQers fail to accept Emma’s evolution because it didn’t involve her becoming Regina’s doormat in every aspect of her life.

I know it's hard for Regina Mills stans to spot character growth, since their queen didn't have one, but Emma Swan and Killian Jones are where the most character growth happened. They evolved into much better people as the series came to a close.

Here are some things I've seen when talking about Emma's evolution or about her being worse off with Killian Jones than she would have been with Regina or Neal. And lets be real here, Emma was worse off with Regina as a friend. That is just a fact.

THEY NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE REGINA'S TRUE ROLE

I will see them talk circles around Regina's role in Emma's life to avoid putting blame where it should be and that is directly on Regina Mills. They will say things like "The Charmings abandoned Emma" but The Charmings didn’t just abandon Emma. THEY SAVED HER LIFE with the hope that Emma would return to save the entire kingdom FROM REGINA. Regina was going to murder infant Emma.

They will also go on about how Killian and Emma were enemies at first. Killian Jones was never as much of an enemy to Emma like Regina Mills was. Regina emotionally and physically hurt Emma and destroyed her life.

MYTH: EMMA WAS ONLY AT HER BEST IN SEASON ONE OR WITH REGINA

As mentioned above, they prefer closed off and alone Emma. However, Emma was at her best when she let down her walls & allowed herself to love. A heart full of love is beautiful. But love to Regina apologists only looks like Emma bowing to Regina. Well. Emma was closed off, negative, sarcastic & willing to overlook all of Regina’s shit for the sake of Henry. Allowing someone to put you down the way Emma allows Regina is NOT someone at their best.

Emma at her best understands sacrifices for the greater good, forgiveness, mercy & the strength of love. That was Emma during all 7 seasons. Actually, Emma showed Regina way too much mercy (Rumple too, in fairness).

MYTH: EMMA WAS FORCED TO CHOOSE HOOK

Anyone who says that Emma was forced to be with Hook because Killian & her parents "pressured her" or "made her" is hating Emma Swan. This is a bunch of fanon nonsense & not canon. No one was forcing Emma. You can’t point to a single scene or dialog that suggests that. Quite the opposite in fact.

You don’t fight for something as hard as Emma fought for her happy ending if it’s not what you want. Remember that Snow & David were against saving Hook in Camelot. They were more concerned about Emma. Hell, Killian Jones was more concerned about Emma's future than living! He wanted her to choose her life over his! It was Emma’s idea to go get Hook in the Underworld & everyone was against it at first (cause who just walks into the Underworld??). If Emma's parents were pushing her towards anyone it was Neal. So, no, no one was forcing Emma to be with Hook. When Charming gives his blessing to Hook he says that the final decision is up to Emma.

If you truly believe that Emma was forced to be with Hook then you don't understand Emma Swan. Emma didn't do anything that Emma didn't want to do. Remember when Emma was dead set on running back to New York in season 3? No one was going to change her mind. She had to find out on her own that life with Henry and her parents in Storybook was indeed home. Emma was perfectly capable of making her own decisions.

MYTH: GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING CHILDREN WAS NOT SEASON ONE EMMA'S HAPPY ENDING

Says who!? When did Emma say this? Emma didn’t want a family? GTFOH with that BS. More fanon that isn’t backed up by canon. She THOUGHT she wanted that life with Neal (re-watch Tallahassee). But after his betrayal she packed that side of her away for fear of being hurt again. You’re mistaking her protective armor for who she really is.

And furthermore proving that you don't know what character growth looks like. People change so characters should as well. Well written characters evolve.

MYTH: EMMA DIDN'T PUT HERSELF FIRST ANYMORE BECAUSE OF HOOK & WAS A SHELL OF HER FORMER SELF

Putting those you love first is a sign of unconditional love. I know that’s hard to understand since your queen is a self-centered bitch who never put anyone first… but Emma is different. And just because she wanted to be with her family doesn’t mean she wasn’t putting what she wanted first.

Emma being a shell of herself is a personal opinion. Emma evolved. She had many more layers by the time S6 rolled around. As I said above, her personality in S1-2 was a part of her armor as much as that jacket was. And to say she still wasn’t kicking ass in S6 is a lie. She sacrificed her life so a child would get his life back. Being a hero & putting others first is a strength of character. It’s honorable. Again, I know that’s hard seeing that Regina was 100% focused on her own happy ending but Emma was different. She is a character worth emulating because of her goodness, love and willingness to fight for others.

MYTH: THE CHARMINGS' & HOOK'S LOVE WAS CONDITIONED ON HER BEING THE SAVIOR AND BEING WITH HOOK

You just don’t like that she wanted Hook & not Regina. It’s also complete fanon that Emma’s acceptance depended on her being the savior & loving a man. The Charmings were too cautious about her relationship with Hook to be forcing that on her. They wanted her to be happy & when they saw she was, they accepted him. Also Hook’s love wasn’t dependent on her being the savior. Remember the scissors? Hook kept those suckers because her life meant more to him than her title.

[hafanforever]

Bad Blood

Frozen and Frozen II shows two generations of the Arendellian royal family tree. While most of these past and present rulers were/are good, decent, benevolent people, there is one person who stands out from the rest of them in terms of personality and deeds: Runeard.

The third act of Frozen II reveals that Runeard was not at all the kind, giving, generous ruler that his granddaughters and the Arendellians believed he was. Elsa learns this when she comes upon a manifestation of him in Ahtohallan, during which his memory figure reveals his abhorrence of magic, distrust of and bigotry towards the Northuldra because they follow magic, and that the dam he built in the Enchanted Forest was to ruin them, not help them as he claimed. Dangerous Secrets revealed more about Runeard regarding the depths of his cruelty and how distant he was towards his family. And now Polar Nights has uncovered even more of Runeard’s evil ways: he lied about the circumstances surrounding the death of Princess Sissel of Vesterland, saying that she was murdered by her Inger, her younger sister, because she was jealous and wanted the crown for herself, and it all had to do with him making sure he could build the dam and ruin the Northuldra.

With the film, the two novels, and the film’s novelization uncovering the malevolence of the former king of Arendelle, I wish to write one more essay discussing his villainy, and how his nature makes him stand out from the rest of his family, making him the bad blood in his family tree. 😉

Lying King, Drama Queen

I’ve said this countless times in my analyses about him, but with what Polar Nights has revealed about him in terms of his malevolence, I will say it once again. Though he appeared to outsiders as a noble, kind, generous, peaceful king, Runeard was truly a cruel, hateful, selfish, dishonest, bigoted, paranoid tyrant who was so obsessed with his power and status that he prioritized it over everything and everyone else. In his position, he arrogantly believed he was the smartest and best person of all in society, and prejudicially considered everyone else who was below him in status to be inferior to him in every way. Such people included his family, soldiers, servants, and even his people and other peasants. Runeard was so dead set on preserving his power at all costs that he wouldn’t tolerate anything he perceived as a competition, challenge, or threat to it, especially magic and beings who had any connections to magic. If anyone got in the way of his schemes, he would try to get rid of them (not excluding murder), though in subtle, secret ways to cover his dark motives and avoid having his people uncover his his good facade. When he and his kingdom met the Northuldra, indigenous peasants who lived far north in the Enchanted Forest with elemental magical spirits, Runeard pretended to accept and make peace with them. In truth, however, he feared their magical ties meant they would try to defy and overpower him, maybe even take over his kingdom, so he refused to take a chance in trusting them and orchestrated a plot to eliminate them. But being fearful of what the spirits’ magic could do if he tried using direct force, Runeard decided to take a more subtle approach by building a dam to ruin the Enchanted Forest and eventually the people. He knew the adverse effects a dam has in a natural environment, and in his arrogance, he knew his people, and assumed the Northuldra, would not have this same knowledge, allowing him to fool all of them into believing his lie that the dam would be built as a gift of peace.

To build the dam, Runeard needed the financial contributing of neighboring kingdoms, one of which was Vesterland, and he invited the heir princess Sissel and her little sister Inger to Arendelle to discuss their patronage. Being an avid environmentalist and aspiring scientist, Inger realized the crushing effects the dam would have to the ecosystem of the Enchanted Forest. It would also lead to the extinction/migration of animals, which would deprive Vesterland of food sources. While Runeard knew the negative consequences of what the dam would do to the forest and to Vesterland, as Sissel said, he just didn’t care. This shows just how selfish and uncaring Runeard was about how his actions affected other things and other people, unless it suited himself. Despite Inger’s persistence, Sissel feared speaking up against Runeard, worried that doing so would lead to him punishing their kingdom by preventing them from receiving food, medicine, and other tradable supplies, since he controlled the port. Inger finally managed to talk some courage into Sissel, who agreed to request a new audience and tell Runeard that Vesterland would not contribute in funding the dam’s construction. In doing so, the sisters could have also told other kingdoms that the dam would actually harm, not help, the forest and convince these kingdoms not to help with building it, either.

Without enough funds needed to construct the dam, the project would never get off the ground, and Runeard’s true sinister intentions could have been exposed to outsiders. However, it was seconds later that tragedy struck when Sissel was swept into the nearby river by a flash flood and drowned as Inger looked on helplessly. Inger and Stig Petter, a shepherd boy who was the sole witness to Sissel's death, went to Runeard to report the accident. Even with Sissel dead, Inger would have never stopped fighting to make sure Runeard could not build the dam. Seeing an opportunity to be permanently rid of a vocal opponent of the dam, and to ensure its construction got off the ground, Runeard blackmailed Stig into lying that Inger killed her sister for the crown. If Stig didn’t do it, Runeard said he would tell people Stig helped Inger do it and face imprisonment, or face an even worse punishment. Though Stig tried to stand up for himself by outright telling Runeard he would tell other people about these threats, Runeard laughed scornfully in his face and said that no one would ever believe the word of a poor shepherd against that of a king. This confirms what I have theorized that Runeard thought lowly of shepherds and other such peasants, meaning his bigotry extended to classism. Fearing for his life, Stig relented and testified in court that Inger had murdered her sister, and Runeard then rewarded Stig for his lie with bribe money. Though he used this money to buy a home in the village outside of Harmon and no longer had to be a shepherd, Stig was too ashamed to ever face the outside world again for what his lie had caused. Runeard then sent Inger on a ship to the gallows so she could be hanged.

Being so mad with power and protective of it, Runeard did not even care about his own family. He only wanted a child because he needed a successor to rule Arendelle when he passed away, and he got married because it was the only legal way for him to produce an heir. Furthermore, he married Rita because she was a princess in another kingdom, and he saw marriage to another monarch as just another way to increase his status and power, not to mention using the alliance between their kingdoms to his own advantage. To Runeard, Rita and Agnarr were mere assets to his image and their kingdom instead of people to love. Outside of their own royal ranks, Runeard otherwise saw his wife and son as obligations and burdens for whom he did not want any true responsibility. Having been in an arranged married with Rita, he showed her no love or freedom during the years they were married. While Runeard gave her every kind of material good he thought she could ever want, this was the only kindness (albeit superficial) he showed Rita; all other times, he was cruel, neglectful, and verbally abusive to her and refused to treat her as his equal partner. One of their most infamous disagreements was the fate of Inger following Sissel’s death. Rita believed that Inger was innocent since she had gotten to know both sisters during their visit. But being set on destroying the threat he thought the Northuldra posed to him, Runeard was bound and determined that his plans to construct the dam came to fruition, even if it meant lying and getting rid of innocent bystanders who got in his way. When Rita tried to speak up for Inger in court, he silenced her and sent her to her chambers (and most likely locked her in to keep her from interfering) once she became a liability. With another obstacle to his scheme out of the way, Runeard had Inger wrongfully convicted of murder and sentenced to death. However, when the prison ship that was to carry Inger to the gallows set sail, Inger was not on it. What Runeard didn’t know was that Rita defied him by secretly arranging a way to help Inger escape by paying several men to take her off the ship and giving her safe passage to another.

As the years went by, Rita did find one source of joy from her union with Runeard, that being their son, Agnarr. She spent a lot of time caring for him and playing with him as he grew, and she even made him the puffin doll known as Sir JorgenBjorgen. However, Rita eventually became so depressed from missing her home that she spent all of her time in her room, lying in bed and crying as she pined for the life she left behind. Unable to understand how she could be so sad when she had everything she could ever desire, Runeard grew impatient with her and accused her of being ungrateful. After enduring years of nothing but mistreatment from her husband, and knowing that he would never allow her to leave otherwise, Rita finally broke down and went to the trolls in the Valley of the Living Rock. She begged Pabbie to erase her memories of her marriage and life in Arendelle just so she could have the free will to leave. After Rita vanished, Runeard was unwilling to accept he had been an awful husband and publicly blamed it on evil spirits. He also sought to remove all evidence of Rita's existence by locking away all her things and banishing anyone who would so much as even speak her name.

Besides feeling superior to other people, being king also made Runeard a very self-righteous, delusional person who believed he could never do any wrong. As a result, he refused to ever take responsibility for his own mistakes and problems that occurred in Arendelle and instead took the easy way out by using scapegoats, but particularly magical spirits since magic cannot defend itself. The best example was when Runeard blamed magic for Rita's disappearance since he refused to believe that he alone drove her away. Runeard cultivated undeserved xenophobia towards magic and its users in his kingdom so often that he successfully manipulated his people into doing the same, in which they would blame their own problems on magical spirits and see magic as an evil entity that is only meant to be feared. This shows that he was a direct influence over the kingdom's distrust of magic and anyone with ties to magic for decades, even long after his death.

Though Dangerous Secrets and Polar Nights are the only sources that have provided anything about Rita, albeit only a small bit, what they unveiled about her paints a portrait of a good (as in better than the kind of person her husband was) yet flawed woman. Polar Nights reveals that she took a big risk when she went against Runeard’s orders and secretly helped Inger escape Arendelle to avoid being executed for a crime she never committed. This proves that Rita was a good, kind, selfless woman who believed in doing what was right and helping those in need, especially the innocent. However, Dangerous Secrets shows she had a selfish side since she left Agnarr behind when she fled Arendelle. Though she had wanted to take him with her, she realized that there were too many risks in doing so, not simply for herself, but for him. If she fled into the night with Agnarr, Runeard would hunt them down just to get him back, though it would have out of him not wanting Rita to get away with taking his heir rather than out of genuine concern for Agnarr’s wellbeing. The worst possibility that he would start a war with Rita’s home country and thus endanger many innocent lives, including Agnarr. While some of my closest friends and I argue whether she was selfish or selfless to abandon Agnarr, I see it as both. Yes, it was selfish for her to just up and leave him, but I felt that for those first five years of Agnarr’s life, he was her only motive for staying; in other words, she loved Agnarr so much that she couldn’t bear to not be in his life. Perhaps she also stayed because she wanted to shield him from Runeard as much and as often as she could so that Agnarr’s nature would never be influenced by that of his father. When Rita finally left, however, I believe that she didn’t take Agnarr because by then, she felt inadequate to care for him all by herself. Perhaps she thought she was no longer a good mother to him and thought he was better off without her. While it still sounds selfish of her since she clearly knew Runeard would never be there for their son, maybe she felt Agnarr had a greater chance of living a good life in Arendelle with the good influences of their servants than with her if she abruptly left and dragged him with her into the unknown.

Once Rita was gone, Runeard was left alone with Agnarr. Not wanting to be responsible for his son’s welfare himself, he apparently left him in the care of the staff, at some point assigning him his own personal guard in Lieutenant Mattias. In the little seen of their relationship through Frozen II, its novelization, and Dangerous Secrets, Runeard was just as neglectful and abusive to Agnarr as he was to Rita. He was hardly involved in actually raising him, and whenever he did give Agnarr his attention, he treated him as an official (and expected him to always act as such) rather than a son. When he informed Agnarr that Rita was gone, he lied to him about it, saying she was carried off by evil spirits and wouldn’t come back. Of course, Agnarr spent many nights in his room, crying for his mother and wishing for her to come back. In response, much like he did with Rita when she spent so much time wallowing in grief and homesickness, Runeard was not sympathetic to his son’s grief. He grew annoyed with Agnarr’s continuous weeping and yelled at him for it, presumably telling him things like “Just get over it. She’s never coming back, and crying isn’t going to help.” Although he obviously couldn’t banish Agnarr for mentioning Rita, there is no doubt that Runeard otherwise refused to let him talk about her or let the staff talk about her if Agnarr tried to ask them questions. In doing so, Runeard persistently refused to let Agnarr have any memories of Rita, and if Gerda hadn’t hid away Sir JorgenBjorgen, he would have surely disposed of the toy. Whatever callous, harsh words Runeard told Agnarr then made him repress many of his emotions growing up, which especially came into play when he was thrust into unofficial kinghood following Runeard’s death and Lord Peterssen taught him the “Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let it show” mantra.

When the dam was finally finished, a celebration was held in the forest to in honor of the union between the two groups of people. Once the two groups came together, Runeard flicked Agnarr under the chin and ordered him to stand tall and be regal before telling him to stay with Mattias. Agnarr watched dejectedly as his father walked off with the soldiers and some of the tribe members, knowing Runeard did not want him around and wanted him to act like a prince, not like a child. A short time later, Runeard and Agnarr had their last interaction with each other during which the king harshly scolded his son for wandering off and exploring, then did so again when the latter voiced his fascination with the magic of the forest. Runeard angrily reminded him that magic is not to be admired but feared, and when Agnarr tried to apologize and explain himself, his father callously dismissed him without even saying goodbye. Later in the day, while many of the people were watching a reindeer riding event, the leader of the Northuldra confronted Runeard on his realizations that the dam was hurting the forest instead of helping it. Worrying someone else could overhear, Runeard suggested they meet privately on the fjord to discuss the matter. Once the two men were alone together, the evil king snuck up behind the leader and mercilessly murdered him, all just to prevent him from telling anyone else the truth about the dam. Immediate following the murder, Runeard claimed it was “For Arendelle”, though in reality, it was all just for his own selfish, sinister desires.

Knowing that the Northuldra would eventually discover their leader’s absence, Runeard panicked and diverted suspicion from himself by instigating the war with the tribe. He led his soldiers to believe the Northuldra had betrayed Arendelle and had attacked first. But since Runeard carried out this act on impulse, he showed negligence by not thinking about how his actions would affect everyone else, though at worst, if he did think about it, he obviously did not care. This whole move was his final act of blaming something to avoid taking responsibility for his own sins, and in doing so, he committed several more despicable acts, a few of which were even done posthumously:

His actions caused the two groups to fight meaninglessly, endangering many innocents and causing dozens of casualties on both sides. This undoubtedly proved that Runeard’s obsession with his kingship was so great that he had complete disregard for the lives of others around him and how what he did affected them.

His final act of neglecting Agnarr was putting him in great danger upon starting the war. While Mattias tried to protect him, the prince still got caught in the worst of the battle, ultimately being launched into a boulder and slipping into unconsciousness. Had Iduna not rescued him, Agnarr surely would have died, which would have Runeard’s bloodline entirely.

He indirectly trapped both the surviving Arendellians and Northuldra in a magical mist for decades to come, forcing them all to suffer due to his own xenophobia and wrath.

By painting the Northuldra as traitors who started the battle, Runeard made the Arendellians think that the tribe were a hostile group of people who would attack when/if given the chance, causing their hatred of them to grow to the point that they would kill any Northuldra who came upon the kingdom, forcing Iduna to hide her heritage for most of her life in Arendelle.

The Prince and the Pauper

Despite an unhappy childhood and being forced into early unofficial kinghood, Agnarr grew up to be a good man. This was most likely due to the (short-lived) good influences of his mother, Lieutenant Mattias, and his servants (including Kai and Gerda), and the fact that Runeard was hardly ever involved in raising him in the first place. Shortly after the battle in the Enchanted Forest, Agnarr met and befriended Iduna, who, unbeknownst to him, was Northuldra and the person who helped him escape the forest. By the time they were teens, they had become best friends and then fell in love, though they were worried that the differences in their social classes would keep them from being together forever. As the years grew closer for Agnarr to finally officially ascend to the throne, the council of Arendelle began pressuring him to consider marriage with another royal in order to create a political alliance (which is the kind of marriage his parents had) for the good of the realm. Agnarr felt such a transition would be difficult, as he didn’t think he could love another woman as much as he loved Iduna, and that other women couldn’t compare to her.

By this time, Agnarr had discovered the truth behind his mother’s disappearance. He and Iduna decided to visit the trolls for answers, and they learn from Pabbie that Rita married Runeard only out of duty to her own kingdom, and that she had her memories erased and left when she could no longer live with her homesickness and being trapped in a loveless marriage. Although Agnarr initially feels contempt at the revelation that Rita had left him behind, this quickly turns to sadness when Pabbie explains that she felt that it was the best option for him since there were too many potential bad repercussions if she took him with her.

However, Kai and Gerda had done their homework and discovered there was no law in Arendelle that said its reigning monarch must marry another monarch. They revealed this news to Agnarr and told him that they didn’t want to see him end up like his mother. When Gerda revealed she also saved Sir JorgenBjorgen and returns it to him, Agnarr tearfully looked at the stuffed animal and finally recalled the few happy memories he had of Rita. He believed that if his mother could see him now, she would encourage him to marry Iduna because he loved her, rather than marry a princess just for the good of Arendelle, since he was now at the same crossroads she had been when she had been forced to marry Runeard.

Like I said in “Family Matters”, Agnarr vowed to be a better man, husband, father, and king that his own father had been because of his genuine love for Iduna and from learning that his mother was abused and mistreated by Runeard just as he had been. From what both movies and the rest of Dangerous Secrets reveal, Agnarr managed to make good on that promise, with a lot of help and encouragement from Iduna. While he was surprised upon discovering Elsa was born with magic, he accepted her regardless and saw her as his daughter first rather than simply his heir. Though due to the Arendellians' hostility towards magic, Agnarr decided to keep Elsa's powers subdued and hidden from the kingdom as she was growing up.

After the accident with Anna, Agnarr vowed they would protect Elsa and help her learn to control her powers. Iduna initially questions if separating the girls and locking the gates is a good idea. Agnarr assures her that it will just be temporary, and that he wants to do it to protect the girls from the Arendellians’ potential reaction to Elsa’s magic, especially if they knew she had harmed Anna with it (even though it was a genuine accident). Following ten years of keeping the girls separated and no success in helping Elsa control her magic, Iduna finally reveals her Northuldra heritage to Agnarr and while he is initially shocked, that doesn’t stop him from still loving her. And when she tells him about Ahtohallan and that it might hold the answer to Elsa’s powers, Agnarr does not hesitate in accepting Iduna’s proposition to find it. Him saying, “I would go to the ends of the earth to help her” proved that his love for Elsa was unconditional, despite potential risks.

Although they made mistakes in having Elsa conceal her powers and keeping their daughters separated in struggling to help Elsa, Agnarr and Iduna still had good intentions and did what they thought was best for the girls. They put their daughters before their kingdom, ultimately proving that family truly came first for the former king and queen.

Arendelle: The Next Generation

While Agnarr and Iduna cherished and loved both their daughters, Anna and Elsa had unhappy childhoods since they were five and eight, respectively. Following the accident of almost killing Anna with her magic, Elsa was plagued with post-traumatic stress disorder and struggled to control her powers for 13 years. Likewise, Anna experienced loneliness and longing for Elsa after never being told why they had to be separated. Yet despite being somewhat damaged from their childhoods, Elsa and Anna grew up to be utterly kind, selfless, giving, loving people who care more about others than themselves, making them virtually devoid of all the flaws their grandfather possessed. They never show any true care or obsession for the power or status they possess as monarchs, nor do they see other people as being below them. They accept everyone they meet and treat them as equals rather than inferiors, regardless of their differences, including their servants, people, and even outsiders.

While Elsa has magical powers, both she and Anna share a common strength of unconditional love and a selfless desire to do what is right, especially for the good of others around them. When they discover their grandfather’s true motives for building the dam, they aim do what is right by destroying it to free the cursed mist on the forest. In doing so, they work together to bring a real union of peace between Arendelle and the Northuldra, effectively tarnishing Runeard’s legacy forever.

Final Thoughts

Though all the past and present king and queens of Arendelle were flawed, all of them but Runeard were ultimately good people and benevolent rulers. This makes Runeard stand out from the rest of them, almost like a black sheep (or even like a “big bad black sheep” instead of calling him a big bad wolf 😆). While his descendants do contain some of his flaws, like Anna possibly inheriting some of his extreme stubbornness, it’s clear that they otherwise nothing like him, and the good in them was passed down from their parents and Rita (and most likely Iduna’s own deceased parents).

In summary, for every effort he made to heighten the sovereignty of his reign, protect his power, and obliterate the Northuldra, Runeard’s reckless actions ultimately were his undoing. He got himself killed, almost got his son killed, and put Arendelle in danger due to an architectural oversight (the dam was built on the very fjord where Arendelle sits). Furthermore, Runeard also caused his worst fears to become reality, since his son married not a princess but a Northuldran (the very race he hated and wanted to eliminate) and had two children, the oldest of whom was born with magic (the very thing Runeard detested most), who rectified his crimes and formed a true alliance with their people and the Northuldra.

First image here is a fan art of the first Arendellian royal family, made by my dear friend @greatqueenanna. 

[squidsniaki]

I'll let you.

synopsis: stelle finally finds Mr. Cold Feet, and the person she finds is exactly who she thought he was going to be.

warnings: a bit of violence, hurt, sfw, implied mutual pining, deception, mentions of betrayal.

She knew. Since this all started, Stelle knew the outcome of this chase. No matter how much hoping, how much DENYING she did... she simply couldn't lie to herself like a complete fool once the voice from behind the hotel room door had reached her ears.

Another scheme, she thought. And, as always, she was dragged right into it.

He was NOT getting out of this unscathed.

The temptation to kick the door open hanged heavy in the air, but as Stelle pledged the mission's success to Pela (and Goethe hotel was as busy as ever), instead her hand gently grasps the knob to turn it anticlockwise and push forward to allow herself the entry.

As the door closed behind, she wouldn't even spare the host a word. The only form of acknowledgment she spared for the trickster was a hardened stare, one that indicated both disappointment AND betrayal.

Sampo, on the other hand, was speechless. Whether it was her murderous aura or anything else causing it, Stelle couldn't care less. She relished in his discomfort, gladly prolonging it. That is, until... "C-Come now, good friend!" Until his made-pretend tone finally pushes past the wall of silence.

"It is honestly astonishing how fate keeps bringing us together, over and over and... over." A meek of a last 'over' rolls off the snake's tongue, and Stelle's annoyance only becomes that more apparent with a twitch of her left brow. Hands, both of them, ball into fists so tight she's sure her knuckles would be pure white should she look at them. But instead, she chose a different course of action.

There is a collision. Two, in fact. The first: of Stelle's fist against Sampo's cheek. The second: of the liar himself crashing into the nightstand. A crash and a rather loud groan follow the commotion, with the heavy breaths that only escalate the trailblazer's turmoil. "You LIED to me!" And she doesn't even give him the time to properly compose himself, throwing accusations about.

"I knew, I KNEW you were behind this!" Her fist rose yet again, and with a wince Sampo covered up his face. Yet the blow never came. And as his hands descended slowly to no longer obscure his vision, Sampo's eyes grew wide in disbelief of what he saw.

He has never seen the trailblazer this... distraught. Her entire body was shaking, her chest heaving violently up and down. And her eyes, Qlipoth preserve him, her EYES. She looked so betrayed. So utterly and thoroughly cheated. And he was to blame for this display. He messed up. Oh, he messed up big time. And now, he didn't know how to fix this.

All he could do was stand up, albeit clumsily. One palm graced his cheek, making sure not to press against his still pulsating jaw. Good news, it didn't seem to be broken. Bad news, Stelle was DEFINITELY ready to just about break it. "Q-Quite a punch there, my friend!" He started off, forcing on a cheery tone. "If I was a fragmentum monster, I'd surely be a goner!" The chuckle he follows up after has no sincerity to it. It is forced, it is faked, and absolutely dishonest. And it only made his situation that much worse.

"You know..!" No, she thought. Don't let your voice shake. Don't let your lips quiver, don't let those tears gather. He doesn't get to see you cry, to see you BREAK. He does NOT deserve to see Stelle this vulnerable.

A few deep breaths, and though her brows furrowed still, it was not through wrath. Rather, solemn. Despair. "I told myself so many times that maybe I was wrong. When I came to you, and you swore, SWORE you had nothing to do with it, I wanted to believe that SO much!" Sampo raises his hands, trying to reach you, but you swat his hands with a loud "DON'T TOUCH ME!" He staggers back, as if burned by the most hurtful of flames.

Aeons, he thought. He was the cause of this. Of ALL of this. He pushed you to this edge, dragged you to this verge.

How has this gone this badly?

"My friend..."

"Pela told me SO many times to watch you still..."

"Trailblazer..."

"But even then I NEVER looked into you! I... trusted you!"

"Stelle!"

"DON'T CALL ME BY MY NAME!"

The sound is more akin to the screech, as flames of preservation rage out of control across the strands of her silver hair. Despite the events, Sampo thought, at that moment Stelle looked absolutely stunning.

"You don't have the right to call me that! Not after every lie, every half-truth you kept bulshitting at me!"

Suddenly, a ringtone breaks the spiral of rage and misery. And as the flames die down, the trailblazer wipes away at the tears that barely formed and pulls out her phone. To find none other but Pela, a message asking for an update on the investigation. And Sampo? He doesn't need to see the text to know who it is from and what it entails. He's caused her so much trouble, he realized. Avoiding the truth has become so common for him, everyone on Belobog knew how to deal with that. But Stelle WASN'T from Belobog. And obviously, lies left an extremely bitter taste on her tongue. But to see her fall apart like this, to see her lose control, well.

It made Sampo's heart clench so unbelievably tight, he hated himself for the next sentence that came out of his mouth.

"I... I can't be caught, m- trailblazer." He dared not look her way, half resigned to the idea of Stelle just beating the shit out of him and dragging his sorry ass to the Silvermane Guards. Oh, the pure disbelief and shock on his face when he heard her reply. "I... can buy you maybe 7 minutes." Her reply was so meek. Whether she realized it or not, she was so torn between her own actions. It only made Sampo's gut twist that much more. He was... DISGUSTED with himself. "I'll tell Pela I never found Mr. Cold Feet. That they just... never came here in the first place." Silence looms for a heartbeat or two right after. And the snake of a man is absolutely an ashamed of himself. Grateful to the trailblazer, one hand rests atop his chest as he offers a courteous bow. He dares not to say a word. "But when I see you again- IF I see you again... I'll knock you out."

And under his breath is a smile. That is honestly far less than he earned himself. He spares Stelle one last glance, her back turned towards Sampo. And with a fresh thought on his mind, he jumps. Disappearing into the crowd.

Days had passed, and Stelle alongside with Pela had managed to retrieve all of the relics and exhibits that were previously stolen from the museum. Kindly enough, the cart that was to haul these down to the Underground was mysteriously delayed. Imagine that.

The nightfall approached, and Stelle decided to retreat to her hotel room for the remainder of this tedious day. She walked in, removed her jacket and didn't even bother to hang it properly, throwing it onto the coffee table instead. Her weight plopped itself onto the single bed, and as it did, a curious envelope bounced off the mattress. Strange, she thought to herself. Was it there before?

Curious, trailblazer took the envelope and clumsily tore it open. Inside was nothing but a square piece of paper. And Stelle's throat grew constricting at the words written on them.

when we meet again- IF we meet again, I want you to know...

...I'll let you.

- yours, Mr. Cold Feet.

This letter shouldn't make her smile, shouldn't make her happy. But that night, Stelle fell asleep with a smile on her face, and a heart a little more full than it was in the morning.

thank you for reading! reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[ameliawarnerr]

Evanescent Sequel

Chapter 5

-Main Character Pov-

Lucas is eccentric. Even more than Jake when we had first…met? No, talked. Came across each other? Jake was strange but I had found that strangeness cute while Lucas is alarmingly unusual at times. What leaves his mouth might be discussed in his head four times and even then it might not be the complete truth. Easily blaming it on his job doesn’t help since Jake is in the same field and he doesn’t give the aura that he’s testing me with every move.

Lucas’ apartment is similar to Jake’s except for the colours he has chosen. Dark blue and white. They go well with each other but I guess his colours would be… great, I cannot even select a colour or two based on his personality which changes with every minute that passes.

He closes the door behind me. “So,” He begins looking down at his watch. “We have approximately fifteen minutes before Jake comes back.” Then he tears his gaze off the watch and looks at me with a smile. “That’s about enough time for us.”

“For us to do what?” I jump straight to the question bugging me.

He sighs and I find that gesture the most real and genuine thing he has done ever since we met. Then, the face he had put on to charm me vanishes. He’s serious and… unsure.

“Listen. I bet you have plethora of questions right now. But I don’t think we have time for that. So answer me this: what happened in the elevator?” He leans back against the door. We stand by the door as we talk.

“Nothing of your concern, Lucas. I have no idea what you are getting at. All you are doing is asking me questions. And I will—”

“Jake hardly opens up.” His words stop me since they hold such truth in them. “But he did tell us about you and trust me, it was less like an emotional rollercoaster like it was supposed to be and more like a factual explanation of what had happened.” He shakes his head with a small smile. “Like he was talking about a case or something.”

“I can believe it. But it’s not like he can’t get emotional. He just needs—”

“The right person. I know. That guy’s an emotional fool, just doesn’t let it show. Similarly, he gets clouded with emotions and can’t see past them, sometimes. That is why I need you to be honest with him.” He looks at me hopefully.

“I had been dishonest with him.” I say, looking at the ceiling. “And I guarantee you that it has made to my lists of regrets, top 3.” I find the courage to look at him again. “So when I tell you that I am not here to trick him or anything, you have to believe me. Hurting Jake, it’s the last thing I want to do, ever.”

“Good. Because I wouldn’t let you. The only reason I am here and not Garrett is that Jake is adamant to let anyone know the stuff he’s going through. Garrett couldn’t see through him but I did.” His deep voice turns lower and lower with every second.

I gaze down. “I know. I did the damage and you might had to deal with it. And now that he’s in a good place again,” I shrug. “I barge in once again. I know how ill-intended I might look with the timing and all—”

“Hey, hey. I don’t want you to feel bad. God,” He runs his hand through his hair. “What I want, in truest words, is for you to make him feel again. Well, he feels, of course but there are certain sets of emotions he doesn’t process properly or doesn’t try. I know his potential at life if only he’d embrace his emotions rather than finding a way lock them up somewhere.” He takes a step closer, his finger pointing at me. “Find the bloody key or break down whatever walls he has built, I don’t care. Just set them free. You can make him feel little things, I saw it on his face. So my intention isn’t breaking you two apart but it’s, I don’t know, mission Make-Jake-feel-again. I’d have Garrett help us if it requires that.”

I have found myself thanking God for putting certain people in my life time and again. Jake had always been one of them. However, I’d never gathered that I’d thank God for putting people like Lucas in Jake’s life. People who truly care for him and would not leave him, unlike the old me.

“You are trying to set us up?” I smirk, trying to hide the distinct types of tensions building in me. I am staying at Jake’s, I guess I would have to hide them for a little more time.

He blankly stares at me, his mouth falling a tiny bit open. His pointed finger rest by his torso again. Then he blinks. “Dammit, yes. Exactly. Why didn’t I say that earlier?” He questions himself.

“I don’t know, maybe you should work on your conversational skills, after all.”

He snorts, then laughs. He points his finger again at me. Then, he altogether his expression changes and he brings his hand closer to his face. “Okay, our first summit has to end.”

He grabs me by my shoulders. “Lucas, what are you doing—”

He opens the door with my back at it. “Throwing you out of my house before Jake comes in here and sees his extra soft pillows I stole.”

He pushes me out. “Bye.” He smiles and closes the door.

“Bye.” I say to the door.

I stand there looking at the door for a second, I wish with all my heart that nobody saw us parting ways after our first “summit”. Even if someone saw, I could just walk with my head down. I turn around, failing instantly as the elevator doors part revealing Jake walking towards me.

His eyebrows furrow in question. Well, I am basically standing outside Lucas’ apartment, I’d question myself too. He looks around as he nears me.

“Did you forget my apartment number?” He wonders as his eyes linger at the door I was practically thrown out of. “Where’s Lucas?”

Jake Donfort’s apartment number has been carved in my memory ever since I got it from someone. The day I showed up at his door wasn’t the first time I had come to this building. That was the day I could no longer come near to the point of knocking at the door but leave, I had no choice but to swallow up every tinge of guilt and become selfish for my family.

“Lucas suggested to accompany until you were back.” My voice lowers with emotions. “I appreciate it.” I add, putting a smile. I cannot give him the slightest hint of anything significant happening while I was in Lucas’ apartment.

“Alright. I hope he didn’t say or do anything stupid. Let’s go.” He guides me.

“Why do you say that? It’s not like he’s an idiot. I mean, he can suddenly get mean but I bet he has good intentions.” Knowing Jake and how he analysis things, even the people he comes across, he must be aware of it.

“I know. But he can be an idiot at times. His way of dealing with issues is no way similar to mine so we get in arguments sometimes. We become passively aggressive and Lucas is a very active person. So it’s not entirely nice seeing him turn passive.” He explains. He opens the door for me. “And serious. Seriousness shouldn’t be anywhere near him. Garrett and I make sure of it.” I smile at the thought. They are just three guys look out for each other. That’s the familiar sense of wholesomeness that reminds me of the guys from Duskwood.

I step inside the apartment followed by Jake. “Doesn’t it remind you of Dan?” I question, wondering if he thinks of them are occasions too.

“It does. Only he would never be patient enough to become a secret agent.”

I turn around as Jake closes the door with one hand. His eyes briefly scan my face before he looks away. I feel my heart take a painfully slow beat. Perhaps, the conversation from the elevator made him uncomfortable. I hate this tension but I also don’t know how to get rid of it unless confronting it upfront which I highly doubt is the right thing to do.

I expect him to pass by me or guide me to the living room. But instead, his hand stays on the knob, grabbing it tightly. He leans back against the door as he gazes up at me again.

This time his gaze doesn’t make me doubt. It’s welcoming. It’s comforting.

Then he smiles and looks away shaking his head.

“What?” I query.

He’s still shaking his head. “It’s like I am running laps and you are the finishing line I am passing again and again.” He stops shaking his head. That’s his perception of my reappearance in his life. Again and again.

There wasn’t much space between us to begin with but I still take a step forward. “Well, do you plan to stop any time soon?”

He considers it, knowing I am again asking the answer to the question I asked him in the elevator.

“You know, I could run a little longer and stop at a point farthest away from the finishing line.” My heart is screaming for my attention by beating loudly. I know you could, Jake. But I don’t want you to.

“Yes, you could.” I settle for that instead. I don’t want to push him because I think there could be more to us.

His hand leaves the knob, his posture straightens and I think he’s closer than before. His face is like he’s about to say something, something bad, a rejection. An explanation of all the facts stating why we should not be here together. The facts I am already aware of. But I’ll listen to them. I’ll listen to everything he has to say.

“Yes, I could.” He says, looking above my head. This time, he takes a step forward evidently. “And yet,” His gaze descends to my face. His eyes are so very clear at the moment. And I remember how his eyes had been a mirror to his emotions. Whatever he has decided, it’s completely clear to him. “I want to stand, right here, in front of you.” His had touches my cheek lightly. “I want to stop running, MC. I want this to be the finishing line.” His voice is breathy, it engulfs me.

Then, something unleashes inside of me. “Are you sure, Jake? I mean, you understand that—”

“Are you seriously questioning my judgement?” He playfully asks.

“No, I am not.” Because I am totally serious. “You didn’t even have any time to think, really.”

“I can handle quick decision-making.” He reasons. The easy smile on his lips, making me forget words.

“I know you can. But at least take a little more time to be completely sure?” I offer. I don’t understand my reaction well, to be honest. Maybe I did expect him to say no.

“I’m afraid I’d have to say no. I am an extremely busy person and a little impatient, recently.” My cheeks heat up but words wouldn’t stop coming from my mouth.

“That’s not what I mean. I am not questioning your judgement nor am I calling you a poor decision maker. The amount of time you’ve had to decide is just not enough. Maybe you aren’t,” His eyes glance at my moving lips and back at my eyes as he tries hard to be patient to listen to me babble. “Considering things with—”

Then, I realise he wasn’t looking at my mouth to see the movements of it but rather how to stop them. I trust his quick decision-making whole heartedly now more than ever. Because assurance of his lips against mine is exactly what I needed, exactly what I had been aching for all these years.

His hand has descended from my cheek to my neck as his lips moves against mine. That’s a sweet way to say shut up.

He pulls back, not too far. “Is that enough to kill your anxiousness?” He asks.

“What if I say no?”

His easy smile is back. “That’d be an invitation.”

[koishua]

→ love, or the lack thereof — lee felix

synopsis: when he lies to you, perhaps for the final time.

requested by: anon. sorry for being so late </3

It’s not raining, which is unfortunate, considering how there is now nothing to hide the tears running down your cheeks, sliding under your jaw and dripping quietly down on your blue shirt, staining the soft material a darker shade. Had it been pouring, you’d have been saved from looking like an utter fool in front of him.

“Tell me that you’re sorry, Felix. Tell me that this is all a misunderstanding.”

You don’t want your voice to tremble, to sound so powerless and desperate when he is standing in front of you with an unreadable look. It aggravates you no less when you feel his eyes locking onto a single teardrop that falls on your fiddling hands as if he pities you. There is nothing more humiliating in this world for you than to have to plead for love from a man who’s never loved you.

Yesterday, nor the day before that, or the year prior.

His lifeless face finally breaks, his brows pull together and his lips curl downwards. You almost think that he is in pain. He certainly looks the part, but you know he isn’t. He can’t be regretting his past decisions now of all times, could he?

Felix parts his lips then closes them again, unsure of what he’s supposed to say. Nothing he could come up with would ever repair the damage of what he had done and it was all his fault. It tears at him to have wronged you for so, so long. It agonises him even more that he can’t even mutter a shameful sorry. He should say something, wipe away the tears he’d caused you to shed, pull you into his arms and beg for forgiveness— for wasting a year of your life with his lies, for feeding you false promises and dishonest love.

You reach for his hand, trying to gain a hold on your breath, “Please tell me you were happy, at least? I promise that you won’t have to do anything else. You can go, I’m not going to hold you back. But just for this one last time, lie to me. Tell me that it was all worth it.”

God, he thinks, I am a monster. The guilt gnaws him, pulling him apart internally when he sees your heartbroken face. Biting his lips to keep himself composed, he releases a shaky sigh. Without any semblance of remorse, he steps away from your touch, a forced smile— a grimace, more accurately— present in his expression.

“I was happy.”

And there you have it. Lee Felix lies to you— he doesn't, though you believe he does— one last time, turning back without a single glance. How tragic, for you don’t even get to see the remorse clawing at him, his emotions finally released from his glossy eyes, down his cheeks and under his jaw.

[cosmicjoke]

Ehhh... alright, well, the official translation has one line that makes it seem less likely that Gojo is still alive. In the fan translation, it seemed Gojo said to Yaga "I thought you said there was no such thing as a sorcerer dying with regrets", but here he says the opposite, that Yaga said there was no such thing as a sorcerer dying without regrets, and then Gojo saying he hopes this isn't just his imagination, which to me implies he doesn't have any regrets. If that's the case, then it seems likely he really is dead.

What a bummer if that's the case. If it is, then I'm gonna' say this is a seriously unsatisfying and flawed way to end Gojo's story. Just no good, man. The only thing I'm good with is that, at least, Gojo says here that he loves everyone. The thing that was really rubbing me the wrong way was that there was no acknowledgment of Gojo's connection with others. But even still, the seeming confirmation too that Gojo was only fighting because he enjoyed it, rather than for what he's been claiming this whole time, which is to create a better world for the young jujutsu sorcerers, is still majorly contradictory and irritating. I just don't like it at all.

Plus the whole thing seems like a major ass-pull. You declare Gojo the winner in chapter 235, only to open chapter 236 with him dead already and some half-assed explanation as to why. Even if you're one of the few people who can makes heads or tails of all the convoluted explanations of cursed techniques, and can come up with logical reasoning for how this happened, it was still handled extremely poorly and disrespectfully, not only to Gojo, but to the readers, in my opinion. To keep baiting them and faking them out with cliffhangers, only to go back on what appeared to be happening again and again, week after week, giving a false sense of hope, only for it to amount to nothing, and then to just kill Gojo off screen, so abruptly, is just lame, bad writing. It's manipulative, dishonest writing. The real kicker to me is in chapter 235, when Sukana appears genuinely terrified of Gojo casting hollow purple, his own, internal monologue admitting that if it hits him at close range, he's dead. There's no acknowledgement of that whatsoever here. It's like it never happened. That was Sukana's own thoughts, and yet, we're meant to, what? Assume he was just lying about it? To himself? What was the purpose of that, other than to fool the reader? If Sukana had been able to cast cleave before Gojo was able to cast hollow purple, okay. But that's not what happened. Gojo cast hollow purple, he hit Sukana dead on, Sukana was said to have no CE left and no ability to heal himself. Gojo should have been able to just kill him right then and there. Instantly. But we're supposed to believe that Sukana just took a direct hit of hollow purple, that it didn't do shit to him, and he killed Gojo in the next second, despite Sukana's own, internal admission that he should be dead. Like I said, bad dishonest writing. Blah.

We'll see next week, I guess.

[girlfailxoxo]

Inspired by Snow on the beach by Blondie

One night a few moons ago

I saw flecks of what could've been lights

“ Alright, Remus?” Sirius’ face loomed over him, his brows drawn and his bottom lip between his lips.

“ How disgusted or terrified are you?” Remus croaked out and looked away. He didn’t know why he agreed to this, why he let them see the beast in its most gruesome form.

Sirius quickly took hold of his hand. Remus felt his breathing stop and did everything to not lose the contact.

“ It was amazing! You were so cool!” Sirius’ must have seen something on his face because his smile got all soft and his hold a bit tighter. “ You were magnificent, Remus. You accepted Padfoot immediately and you’re my best friend, nothing could change that, Moons.”

You wanting me tonight feels impossible

Sirius launched himself on the sofa and laid his head on Remus’ lap, looking up at him expectantly.

“Comfortable?”

“ Always.”

Remus tried hiding his smile to no avail, instead he rolled his eyes.

“ You got a date for the ball?” Remus shook his head. “ Perfect! We’ll go together. What is your color scheme going to be? I was thinking red would go well with both green and my gra- “

“ Sirius, what?” He wasn’t sure what Sirius was getting at. He was sure that every girl in their year asked Sirius to the ball. “ But all those girls who-“

“Right.” Sirius nodded. “ And I just didn't feel like it, now I do though. So yes or no, Moony?”

“Yes.” It would always be a yes with him.

My smile is like I won a contest

And to hide that would be so dishonest

Remus didn't like smiling much, it contorted the scars on his face too much. Sirius’ eyes were wide and honest and searching and Remus would give him anything and everything. Sirius lunged at him, laughing like a madman, and Remus wished he could imprint Sirius’ laugh in his soul, carve his prints into bones and simply never let him go.

I don't even dare to wish it

But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet

“ Merlin, how much did you smoke?”

“ Definitely enough.” Sirius hummed, the burnt joint in an empty flower pot. He suddenly turned and propped his head on his right hand, the other reached for Remus’ face.

“ Pads?”

“ How many stars are swimming in your eyes?”

Remus laughed and let Sirius guide his face, they were eye to eye, their noses almost touching. If Remus were a fool, if he believed in a kinder universe, he’d think he might have tilted his head and closed the gap.

“ You’re pretty.” Sirius murmured and tucked a stray hair behind Remus’ ear, making his breath hitch.

Can this be a real thing? Can it?

Sirius took a deep and frustrated breath, threw his fag on the ground and pointed his finger at Remus.

“But I’m here, am I not? Every girl who has asked me out, flirted with me, kissed me, “ Remus gulped “ is in that bloody hall and I’m out here freezing my arse off because you’re here.”

“ I didn’t ask-“

Sirius barked a bitter laugh.

“No, you didn't ask. And sometimes I wish you would, Remus. You’ve never asked but I have always answered, and I did it with adoration.” The last part came out as a whisper.

Remus couldn’t believe it, didn’t know what this meant. He was terrified but one look at Sirius and his feet made the decision for him. He couldn’t let Sirius do all the talking or the casual touches or the asking. He couldn’t hurt Sirius because he was already scared of the end.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please.” Sirius moaned.

You wanting me tonight feels impossible

But it's coming down, no sound, it's all around

Sirius pulled his hands away and Remus opened his eyes. One wall was bright yellow, a bookcase covered the other and the third boasted the two boys' vinyl collection and Bowie posters. There were a few plants here and there. The rug certainly came from his mum. Remus couldn’t stop his tears, Sirius looped his arms around him, put his chin on his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

“How? Who? Really?” Remus choked out, failing his arms around while Sirius stood in front of him, a bemused smile on his face. He took Remus’ hands in his.

“ You and me, Remus, because I am in love with you. I have been and always will be.”

“ I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you. Every morning I wake up and remember that you're mine and I’m yours,I need to make sure it's not a dream. As long as you keep choosing me I’ll choose you back. I will love you forever and ever, Sirius Black.”

Prompt: passion @wolfstarmicrofic

...

I finally wrote a Wolfstar fic inspired by Taylor's song!!

[acourtofthought]

It’s not really fair for anti’s to claim Elain has always, 100% of the time felt uncomfortable around Lucien. In the first example (below), it does not appear she's uncomfortable with the moment of intimacy between them, when he tugged on the bond.

In the second, we see Elain torn between going to him and fighting against it.

In the third she smiles at something he said. It's not a laugh, it's not a wide grin but she just lost her father, was kidnapped and stabbed someone and the fact that she can still have that small moment would not happen if she truly disliked him.

In the fourth, she invites him to stay in Velaris.

Their conversations are stilted, they aren’t at ease with one another, but that's completely understandable. Elain is still struggling with the loss of Graysen, still struggling with being Made, still struggling with the fact that she has a pull to someone she never asked for.

Lucien is still struggling with everything that happened in Spring, struggling with having no home, struggling with how to behave around a female who is his mate (who he knows loves someone else) and trying to deal with the realization that Jesminda was not his mate. Seriously, why would they be anything but awkward at this point?

“It felt … strange,” Elain breathed. “Like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib.”

Lucien exposed his palms to her. “I’m sorry.”

Elain only stared at him for a long moment.

...................

Before that dark wind swept in, Lucien looked back.

Not to me, I realized—to someone behind me.

Pale and thin, Elain stood atop the stairs.

Their gazes locked and held.

Did not see the half step she took toward the stairs—as if she’d speak to him. Stop him.

.................

“I’m fine,” Elain said quietly. And then asked, noticing the gore on him, the torn clothes and still-bloody weapons, “Are you—”

“Well, I never want to fight in another battle as long as I live, but … yes, I’m in one piece.”

A faint smile bloomed on Elain’s lips.

...............

I spared Lucien the torment of debating whether to touch her, and linked my arm through his as I began to walk away, letting my sisters decide to follow or remain

Elain came.

Elain fell into step beside me, peering at Lucien.

I nudged Elain, who blinked at me, then blurted, “You could come to Velaris.”

You know why it's easy for her to be around Azriel? Because he doesn't talk about anything deep with her. He keeps things polite and surface level and Elain can pretend all her other problems don't exist when she's with him.

But they do exist. Just because it's easy to ignore them for awhile doesn't mean they are going anywhere.

Elain's behavior towards Lucien regresses in ACOFAS and ACOSF but that is because she can't pretend she's fine around Lucien.

When he's around there is no living in the bubble she's created where she's fine, Velaris is fine, everything is just FINE. The bond they share forces her to confront her demons and she has not been ready for that. Mor, gift of truth, even says this. It's not really Lucien who makes her uncomfortable "because he's pressuring her". Elain currently shies away from him because Lucien is the ONE person she can't keep things surface level with in her life. The one person who won't be fooled by her attempts at pretending she's completely over the loss of her humanity, the loss of her friends, the loss of her autonomy. The one who isn't buying that she loves the Night Court and is happy with everyone believing all she needs is gardening and baking.

If a person tells a lie, they do it with confidence so that it's believable. But if you realize that one person in the group is aware you're lying, the confident front you're putting up is going to waiver. You're going to avoid eye contact with that person, you're going to be uneasy around the person who KNOWS that you're being dishonest.

Lucien is the one person Elain can't fool with her act that she is just fine and that scares her because no one has ever really looked beyond the surface of Elain. No one has ever wondered about the deeper emotions Elain might be feeling until Lucien.

[icharchivist]

you made a3 text posts and said citron was an unreliable narrator. you are the most correct and rightest person in this whole goddamn fandom. come kiss me please

aLJDHFLKDJFKLDF

Thank you very much!

textposts memes tend to play on how absurd a post is which often means taking a character trait to the max, and i'm trying to walk the line between amplifying something for the joke and still sticking true to character traits. I like to overanalyse character so it can sometimes influence how i make my memes.

That being said! Citron is TOTALLY an unreliable narrator and i'm so glad you agree with me there nonny

I really do like Citron, i happen to have a big affinity for characters who, on some levels, are pretty dishonest, or hiding under layers of untruth. And i think Citron is a pro at that especially in Act 1.

Because he hides his past and he's much more careful and clever than his general behavior could make one believe. I believe him acting extremely silly is both him finally letting go of the weight his responsibilities had put on his shoulders, and a way to deviate the attention away from his secrets. The bigger the lie, the more people expect that they'll never get the full truth out of you, the less they pry, and the more they're safe. And I believe both of those motivations shape up Citron's usually more laid back behavior.

So he is, totally, an unreliable narrator in that sense. Tbh all three of Spring Adults have in common that they put on a front and tell blatant lies about their lives so you would not pry too much into them (it's just that for Itaru the mask fell off so quickly and we focus so much more on his gamer side the fact he is also one to do that can slip people's mind).

But Citron played the long game in a way since he did keep the mystery up as long as he could. I keep thinking about his crossbackstage with Muku for instance. Muku loving those princely stories so much and Citron being torn between knowing that the reality Muku is seeking is so much more bleak and sad, and wanting to make Muku happy and indulge him and teach him what he knows. And so when he has to run off in the street thinking he's chased down, while with Muku, and Muku asks what's up? Citron lies, but lace those lies with semi truth. The lies are so absurd but Muku believes in them, and since those lies are specifically to warn him about the danger, at least Muku knows to keep safe. But if Muku was to share it with anyone at the company, most of them would brush it off as another Citron's bullshit. He keeps his secret safe, but keeps Muku safe as well, while also giving himself an opportunity to share with Muku more about what Muku admires so much.

Also Citron canonically makes stuff up all the time especially about his country, and i still find it so funny that when Chikage joined and started to do the same, they started teaming up on how to say the same lie together to amplify it. Like how they (including Itaru) fooled Tenma into thinking there's still secret ninja villages in Japan.

And making this meme i was especially thinking about how Sakuya believes those stories very easily, but especially how he mentioned once that Citron always tells him so many wild stories before sleep and he believes in them and is impressed, but if you pry a bit anyone can see Citron is definitely making things up ahah.

And obviously, none of it is even malicious. If anything Citron lies to 1) keep people safe, 2) make people happy, 3) hide his secret (back to 1).

He's an unreliable narrator and i love him so much <3

I'm so glad you agreed on this fact this strongly nonny!

Take care ;D

[lumo-dreams]

I’m so sorry, I’m bothering your question box again. But I have to get this off my chest, since I see so much negativity on Lumo lately (my last question also contributed to that, so I’ve also been part of the problem).

I do still stand my ground that this storyline is not the most elaborated one. It just isn’t well thought enough, but luckily also not damaging enough to ruin their loving bond completely.

Of course I understand everyone’s reaction to Moritz actually leaving when Luis warned him that it will be over if he does so, but I’m sure they’ll find their way to each other again. Didn’t Moritz himself admit that he’ll go insane if they would be parted for one week (let alone a long distance relationship). Moritz his heart belongs to Luis and he often voiced his love and gratitude towards him. He even declined high offers from his clients who wanted to sleep with him and wasn’t even scared to flip one off. They showed us that Moritz will not cheat on Luis no matter the circumstances. He stayed loyal, but was dishonest about his job and whereabouts. Luis has also had his fair share of dishonesty, he was even prepared to murder someone if it wasn’t for Moritz. Which brings us to the most important factor of their relationship: the balance they offer each other. During both storylines (luis vs linostrami and Moritz escorting) something very particular happened, namely the ability of Lumo withholding the other from making a mistake. Example 1: Moritz was almost able to change Luis’ mind from going to the catering job interview. He actually did in fact stop him altogether, if the offer didn’t come again the next day. Example 2: Moritz was hesitant whether he wanted to continue the contact he had with Folker, but one little moment with Luis and he was convinced that he didn’t want it. And I know, in both cases Luis as wel as Moritz did eventually go ahead with their original plan, but they stayed unsure. They ground each other, it makes them realise that what they have has more value than a stupid mishap. I’m sure that Luis will open Moritz’s eyes again, he will have that effect on him by default. No guy/party/money/fame will fill the gap that is Luis and he will realise that. They are both new to this, Luis needed time to accept the fact that he likes men and Moritz now needs to know what type of commitment a relationship takes. They will pass this bump and grow only stronger from now on.

We also have to keep in mind that the producers are extremely detail oriented, they always make sure that we see the intimacy between Lumo. Whether it be hand-holding, leaning to each other or just a simple loving gaze, they’ve never missed the opportunity to show us how into each other Lumo are. And let me remind you all that it’s still pretty rare to see gay couples on daytime tv showing so much affection on display. They’ve truly done an amazing job when it comes to the build up and lamenting their relationship. They weren’t even half enthusiastic for FabioxMoritz or LuisxMiro. I’m more than confident they won’t ruin that much work for an escort-storyline.

So Lumo fans don’t be afraid of this story-arc. I’m convinced it will be over soon, with either Luis forgiving Moritz (and he stays in the business) or Moritz resigns from his job for Luis. Secretly I hope and believe it’s the last one, cause I have a feeling they’re already introducing us to the new storyline, namely Johanna falling in love with Luis 🙄 (I really hope I’m wrong on this one!!) yet that will definitely stay one sided, Luis is too nice but not a fool. The love Lumo has for each other is unbreakable, and I truly love them for that ♥️

I am the last person that wants to spread negativity! I wrote the post from an affect because I knew eventually the drama will come (which is good since we don't want boring scenes) but once I actually got to see the outcome it hit me right into my face 😬

I agree with what you said here. They probably will find their way back to each other again. Moritz would never throw that away so easily. They have a very deep connection and love as you described it. I bet he already regrets it and we know from the past Luis' reaction are sometimes over the top when he's hurt or feeling betrayed. I am so curious to see how this moment will effect them! Could imagine Luis talks to Jonas since he was standing right there and witnessed all of it. He must have a lot of questions..

As for the Johanna storyline: I know many of you don't know gzsz that long BUT when Luis and Nina moved to Berlin, Johanna had already a crush on him (though she was very young back then). So years later they picked the storyline up again 🙈

Let's see how it continues! I am very grateful that we have at least Moritz and Luis as a m/m couple on the show and the actors portray them so well! ❤️

[sarasa-cat]

The shocking attack on Rushdie comes at a time of intensifying and protean attacks on free expression worldwide. PEN America’s annual Freedom to Write Index tracks the cases of individual writers in prison worldwide. Our research has documented a significant jump in the number of writers, academics, and public intellectuals detained globally over the last few years. Authoritarian governments throwing writers in jail is one potent form of repression of free expression, silencing those targeted and casting a chill over all others who might dare broach controversial topics or buck orthodoxies.

But the threats to free expression we face as writers and citizens are much broader. They include online harassment that shuts people out from public discourse; ossified ideological orthodoxies that impair academic freedom and deter the expression of dissenting views in public discourse; ferocious waves of book and educational gag orders that banish specific ideas and identities from American classrooms; a flood of disinformation that has left a large segment of the population flummoxed over who and what to believe; campaigns of denigration targeting journalists and the media with the aim of dislodging faith in facts and truth; and the long arm of authoritarian repression whereby foreign governments reach into free societies to menace exiles and critics.

It was against this backdrop of surging repression that PEN America took the unprecedented step of convening an Emergency World Voices Congress of Writers this year – the first such gathering since 1939, when our leading intellectuals convened to grapple with the danger of rising fascism.

Free speech is in peril. Not even the steely resolve of a Salman Rushdie can turn the tide alone. But our words are not without power. If words did not matter, an assailant in upstate New York would not have plunged a knife into a writers’ neck. In Rushdie’s remarks at the PEN America Congress in May he decried white supremacy, religious extremism and political lies: “We must understand that stories are at the heart of what is happening, and dishonest narratives of oppressors have proved attractive to many. So we must work to overturn the false narratives of tyrants, populists, and fools by telling better stories than they do.”

As we tell the story of the attack on Salman Rushdie, we must elucidate its larger lessons. Writing freely is an act of supreme bravery. Writers, thinkers and dissenters are not luxury goods of concern only to elites. Writers are the coalminers of new perspectives, the safecrackers who can unlock an elusive empathy for those unlike us, and the town criers who force us to see what we would rather deny. Free expression is not something we can take for granted, and must be at the heart of our battle to defend democracy against its enemies.

Salman Rushdie has devoted his life to the freedom to write, exercising it, fighting for it, and using his fame and influence as a bulwark for all those who do the same. The attack on Rushdie is an attack on all who treasure the right to think, write and speak freely. We owe it to him to recognize it as such.