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countryshitposts · 5 years

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the vulnerability of immortality

Here's a filler fic that'd probably keep you guys waiting until i finally post that Asian Christmas party fic and German Empire getting pummeled

Österreich did not exist... but then he started existing.

Austria can remember the feeling of not existing at first, a cosmic entity watching a cataclysmic event in the far future. It was being displayed by the galaxies beyond him, his body as light as a star that tries not to shine as bright as the milky way that he was born in. He doesn't even have a name at first, he doesn't exist, after all. He can watch the planes all he wants without the feeling of crushing mortality pressing him into the solid grounds. He never even knows what ground feels like. He is nothing but a watcher, a silent one who has no personality nor voice in the whole galaxy. He sits, and he watches, looking at the visions with no feelings, numb yet wanting to die. He looks at the visions he is being shown, and he feels something; longing. Longing for the inevitable, he unconsciously touches the visions, full of nameless people that were either cemented into history or erased from it.

He regrets it.

He doesn't regret it.

Then he feels light absorb him, consume him and his non-existent mouth urges to scream, and so he does; he lets out a sound he has never heard from his silent self before, feeling his numbness turning into pain as he feels his cosmic body enter something else. The feeling of flesh attaches to his body like glue paste, as he feels himself seeing everything with bright new colors, entertaining yet painful to watch, only used to the astronomical purples and white blinkering dots resembling the stars, knowing if he approaches them they will becoming, big, bright, bold stars.

And his transformation stops, a flip from a switch as he is brought to a woman. He can move, he can see the world he had only seen from the visions that someone from beyond had sent him, to cope with him not existing. He was in a bundle, tightly wrapped like he would fall off, and die as he hits the floors.

Then, his memories start to drain, from the beginning of time when the big bang was - mistakenly - made, hot gases fughting, the great mother Earth forming in the volcanic hell that used to be the planet, the rains, the Ancient Sumerians and their inventing of wheels, the Macedonian Empire, the Toltecs, Mayans, the unexpected Mongol Empire conquering Eurasia through the means of horseback, the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth and its blazing glory, the Sick Man of Europe, Red China, and the End of the World, Earth becoming sickly and turning everything into ashes.

All of what he had seen- visions, the past, the vague present, the incoming future bombarding in time, all slips from his vision, like it was nothing and a switch off from his mind.

Before his seemingly uneventful birth, he didn't exist, watching everything as a nebulous cosmic entity.

Now he exists and he must live through it all, vision-less.

I am Austria, a voice inside him says, and I exist.

The children aren't like him

He knows just by how much they fear him

They don't invite him to play with him

Not like he cared

He prefers to read the bible

They pray using their rosaries to the God above

Something inside Austria tells him he's beyond God

His mother meets her end with a sickness

Something he cannot remember

He watches his mother go without a hint of sadness

Now he is all alone

Life in the streets is hard enough

Somehow he is still healthy despite dirty living conditions

He steals

He begs

He needs

Austria meets His Majesty

The second next best thing compared to the Roman Empire

He sits on his throne

Two black pairs of wings in all his glory

On a throne of gold

His stern face looking straight at Austria

He is the Holy Roman Empire

Life as a peasant-turned-prince isn't easy

His adoptive brothers loathe him

The castle servants gossip of him being a spawn of Satan

But Holy Roman Empire lets him stay no matter what

He loves him

He hates Prussia

Holy Roman Empire encourages him to follow his heart

He becomes a pastor

Shortlived

So he takes an interest in composing and playing musical intruments

Forever

Österreich gives his betrothed a bouquet of flowers

He says he matches her eyes

He's filled with so much love

Nothing lasts forever

He hears the arranged marriage

He drops his copy of the bible

He runs to the palace where his love resides

She's not there

Her father tortures him

By giving him an invite to Korona and Lieutvos' wedding

He stands there on the isle, cross-armed and scowling

He bites his lip, trying not to cry as his true love and a barbarian kiss

He's not going to cry

He focuses on his studies more

Focuses on politics more

But he cannot seem to shake off Korona's smiling face

He looks towards his abandoned poems and compositions for Korona

He hides them in his chest with a mighty shut

Even then he knows all words and tunes by heart

Prussia is grinding at his gears

So is his father

He takes an interest in a brand new style of art from the French lands

It helps his broken heart

It helps him heal

Unlike his music

He hears rumors

Rumors of Korona and Lieutvos' marriage being unhappy

Korona is afraid of that dirty pagan

Looks like he still has a chance to win her heart after all

He approaches her one day when Lieutvos was talking to the Holy Roman Empire

"Let's run away together" he says with hope in his eyes

Korona sheepishly looks away, patting her belly

"I am bearing a child" she says her voice barely a whisper

His smile fades as hope inside of him shatters

He feels the weight of loneliness crush him to dirt

He tells his servants nor family to never enter his room

He is mourning

For what

For the death of his love

He and Prussia fight more each day

That kingdom from afar is getting too close to the outer territories of his duchy

He plays music to let off some steam

He did not even mention her name once

Holy Roman Empire is turning to a figurehead

Österreich is God

God is Österreich

He is holy in every way

He attends Korona's baby's baptism

He is named Poland after his grandfather

He cannot look Korona in the eye

He hates Lieutvos every second he is here

The child has his mother and father's striking features

He can feel his world turning blurry for a second

He spends his time away from his land

To fight wars

A war he needs to fight for his father

Who's too gluttonous to leave the throne

He can see his pair of dark wings having the slightest tinge of white

The sign of becoming old

He wonders why an immortal being is becoming old each passing day

Will he become old

How dare that damned man insult the church

How dare he post such insults in a door

How dare he question his father's rule

Prussia is objecting

He is objecting too

But he can't help but somewhat agree with the man who defames the church

Lutheranism and Reformation spreads through the entire continent like a ravaging wildfire

Even the Discovery isn't as intense as this

War was coming to his doorstep

Holy Roman Empire finally gets up from his throne

Some of his feathers falls as he stands in all his glory

The old empire is an examplary fighter

He and Prussia see eye to eye in the dissonance

France wishes for Burgundy

He defends his territory

He beats and bests the kingdom at every turn

He has become powerful in his own right

He marches to Rome

To become the rightful king of the Romans

He is the true Rome

Not Russia

Not even the Holy Roman Empire

That Kingdom of Hungary is threatening his power

Hungary wishes for peace

He is suspicious

He wakes the first day to find him invading his land

How dare he

That is not his

He gains more land and power

Hungary is a distant yet close problem now

He allies and forms bonds

He plans to take Britanny

France takes it first

Schweiz is a stubborn woman

Fighting for her independence with a fury

At first Österreich and his family laugh at her

But she is serious

And she got what she wants in the end

He admires her feistiness

He, Preußen and Russia wish for more land

They target the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth

Something inside him tells him the once love of his life will never forgive him for this

Once love of his life

Now turned to dust

They make plans

He has second thoughts

Korona's eyes give him a look of betrayal

He hesitates

Then he remembered that she isn't his anymore

She's in love with someone else now

Not him

He has no more second thoughts after this

He feels pleasure rise into him as he slits Lieutvos' throat

He hears Korona's cries, calling him a traitor

He laughs, and so do the others

Yet after he murdered the former love of his life

He starts to weep

Why is he weeping

He can't even read anything without squinting

The Holy Roman Empire drops dead

His last feathers are nothing but pure white

No more of his black feather

He cannot feel sadness despite the fact he has shown him kindness

No more of the empire

A new era begins

Rhineland gives him a baby boy bundled up in blankets

Österreich says he has no use of his child

But Rhineland pleads with him to care for the boy

He does as a friend

He's unaware of the pain and suffering he will go through

Over the years

He clutches Confederation's hand

Still warm

His tears are flooding his eyes as their warm drops pitter patter on his skin

He has a smile on his face, a smile to encourage Confederation he can still live

"I will die" Confederation says hushed

"No you will not" Österreich manages to say "You will live"

Confederation smiles at his father warmly "I forgive you"

His hand goes limp, eyes closed, body temperature becoming cold

Österreich's forced smile drops like Confederation's lifeline

He holds his body

The boy whom had warmed his heart as a son

He cries in choked sobs

Then he screams

He screams and shouts and cries

Why didn't the doctors save this innocent boy

Why did he have to leave him alone

He goes blind

Yet he still hears him singing

Austria and Hungary waltz in the moonlight, away from observing eyes

"This is wrong" Österreich says as his body dips lower

"But you do not care" Hungary replies

And then they kiss

He can feel another love sparkle through the night

There is nothing wrong with this

This is heaven

This is hell

Being fused to your love can take some time to adjust

Yet they love each other

But they're not close to each other

They're not even beside each other

He will get used to it

Of course Hungary stopped loving him

What did he expect

He can feel his heart setting to stone once again

Hungary leaves him after the fall of their empire

He breaks mirrors that show his sad and pathetic self

Glass ends up over his face

He can't try to make out what's right and wrong anymore

He's alone again

All he can see are blurry shapes

He plays the violin

He sings old melodies lost in time never sharing them

He sees the world burn like a distant memory

Österreich tries to cope with his detoriating power

By singing through it all

Ghosts appear before him, mocking at him for the way he has turned out

He chokes

Österreich stands with Reich

Once a young, naïve and nice boy has corrupted and snapped

He wanted to blame his father

But he can't help but blame he himself

He helps with his plans and tactics

Helps him in the battlefield

Helps him with everything

He needs to become powerful again

At what cost?

The war is over

Deutschland is divided

He can see their faces but never makes their details out

The world has gone too blurry for him

He looks at his hands

Now only good for playing instruments

He clenches his fists and punches a mirror

It breaks

His hands hurt

He forgot how to live

Schweiz came to him in such a manner

He has to stop for a breath

Österreich can feel himself getting pulled by Schweiz

But he trusts his instincts

Österreich likes the man before him

Their kiss lights up his life

He has to wear glasses now

What a humiliating defeat

It seems he cannot shoot a gun properly anymore

He throws away all firearms and weapons, save for those he has treasured so greatly

He doesn't feel the slightest bit of regret

He is finally free

He has finally matured and moved on

He can hear him singing

Österreich goes from door to door, searching for the culprit of the voice

It is echoing in his house, a melody he has heard of many times

He opens a door, and another, and another

But he isn't there

Why will he be

He is gone and dead

Yet his ghost still lingers

Laughing at him

Österreich screams, it echoes through the house, wanting the voice to stop singing and give him peace

Silence

Then he starts singing once again until Österreich has broken down to tears

He swears he can hear them

The voices whispering towards him as he makes his way through the halls

They grow louder

And louder

They scream at Österreich, vowing to never forget what he has done to them

He does not scream nor react feeling numb

He doesn't remember what it feels like to live

Deutschland pours him a drink, delighted smile and all

Österreich clinks his glass with him as well

Everyone's having so much fun

He smiles as he takes a sip of his beer

He doesn't remember having this much fun with people

Everyone is so lively

He doesn't remember being that lively

Everyone is living and breathinng unlike those gross voices he keeps hearing

Dr. Österreich finally learns how to live.

#mine #writing #countryhumans #countryhumans austria #countryhumans prussia #countryhumans holy roman empire #countryhumans germany #countryhumans switzerland #countryhumans hungary

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tarithenurse · 5 years

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Agent of Hope - 23

Your world falls into ruin together with the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcements Logistics Division when you find out that your boyfriend isn’t one of the good guys. Pairing: Brock Rumlow x fem!reader, Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader Contents: Errors (no, I did not spell check this time – shame on me), dealing with trauma, mental health care, feels, growth, smut, pain. A/N: So, this is one of those chapters that I call a “bridge”. Maybe that’s not the right term, but it’s needed for…reason. You know before tossing the last chapters at you. Lots of love for liking and reblogging!!

23 - Never give up. Never back down

… Romanoff …

The change comes creeping in like the first light of dawn that suddenly makes it possibly to make out the shape of furniture in the dark and later adding a depth to the surface even before the colours are visible. Some days are exhausting for both [Y/N] and Natasha in each their own way. One is drained from the weekly session with the psychologist or maybe the hard physical training under the stern but kind guidance of Maria. The other, a certain redhead, finds it had to stand by. Hands off even as her love struggles with nightmarish processes that set off nightmare after nightmare until her throat is raw from crying out in anguish. No preparation can make it easier. No knowledge of the importance can soothe the Avenger when she rocks the shaking woman in the dark of night.

But that’s not the real change.

The change is the flashes of peace. The straight back and head held high. It’s the healthy thoughts that are voiced, each time with a sense of acceptance that they are the truth.

Sitting in the kitchen of the Compound, [Y/N] is allowing herself to be completely absorbed in the book she’s reading only glancing up when the glass of lemonade is empty. Clint, who’s sitting next to her, is twirling a straw around in his own empty glass but otherwise only paying attention to the take-out menu. Supposedly. Natasha is fairly certain that she’s heard him drinking even after he’d drained the jug and as such running out of options for a refill plus it’s the kind of stunt the archer has pulled on pretty much anyone who isn’t paying attention to their snack, drinks, or food.

“Mister Barton,” [Y/N] begins hyper-politely, “do you have any knowledge of what might have happened to the last half of my lemonade?”

The man puts on the perfect display of surprise spiked with such a subtle outrage at the underlying accusation that Natasha knows 100% that he’s guilty. “What? Why should I know?”

“Not buying that,” you happily announce, “so I guess I’ll use you to test out something Maria told me about.”

You refuse to tell the suddenly nervous archer what it is, merely patting him on the shoulder as you get up to make a new batch of lemonade.

… Reader …

Every single muscle in your body is sore. It hurts to put on a sweater. There are muscles in your back you didn’t know you had screaming at you when you bend to put tie the shoes. Hell, you can barely face going to the loo because your thighs and butt are punishing you for all the work you’re putting into the training with Maria, but at least it’s finally paying off. The former SHIELD agent is an exceptional teacher: honest, but kind without talking to you like you’re a kid. Most importantly, though, there’s an unspoken understanding of why you feel like you have to learn to defend yourself and perhaps feel like you’re in control of your own body. So that’s where she’s started.

First, she has helped you get into shape with simple cardio and strength, teaching exercises you can use on your own in the impressive gym two floors down. The second step has been to show how to use defend against simple attacks by using the other person’s body (weight and size) against them – your own stature is irrelevant or can even be used as an active benefit.

“Aaaah.” Hot water sloshes against the sides of the tub as you lower yourself into the soothing bath.

Natasha’s voice drift through the gap by the door: “Should I be jealous?”

She’s perched on the bed with the blue light from the tablet creating shadows almost as ominous as the intel she’s studying for tomorrow’s missions. Well, it starts in the morning when the present Avengers (Tony, Nat, Cap, and Clint) all leave for wherever they’re heading, and if all goes well they should be back in three days.

“Mhmmmmm…I’m having an affair with the bathtub.” The heat seeps into stiff limbs, dissolving reluctant tensions. “Sometimes we even go as far as adding bubbles to our fun.”

There’s an audible snort and you can imagine the exasperated eyeroll that doesn’t diminish her smile. Perfect, that’s how it is. Sliding deeper into the water, jaw skimming the surface as steam rises past the face, you’re completely enveloped in subtle heat and it lulls you into a drowsy contentment that pulls the eyelids down.

A rustle of clothes seems to filter in from far away before the water and you are stirred by sleek limbs as Natasha settles between your willingly parting legs, back against chest, with a quiet moan. Perhaps it’s an addiction rather than natural behaviour, but your hands are drawn to her, first massaging the tension from shoulders that hold up your world too before flat palms start stroking her arms. Her chest. The swell of her breasts where fingertips tug and twist the rapidly hardening nipples only for the warm water to soothe the skin.

She’s your friend, ally, and lover. Someone you never planned on being such an integral part of your soul and though logic dictates you could be happy without her, you simply don’t want to try. Natasha.

You love these moments when the tough hero melts like snow in your hands, head resting against your chest and mouth slightly open to release the quaking sighs of satisfaction conjured by you and no one else. Tasha is surrounded by you, laid out bare and vulnerable and easy to read. Breaths hitch, toes curl, her fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs as your fingers move faster now they’ve found her clit. She’s granted a few fingers for the core to clench around, and holy fuck, the heat fluttering around the digits that curl against the soft walls is beyond divine. Better than any bath could be.

The name on her lips as she falls apart in your hold is like a prayer. Or the praise from a goddess who has decided to adorn the life of a mere mortal, you.

“[Y/N]!” There’s a hint of a whine to her gasp. “I love you.”

The red locks are matted against her skull from the steam but still soft on your lips as you find the way to her ear. “I lo–”

Out of nowhere, the pain bombards you, starting in your head but sending rigid tendrils into the rest of your body.

…

Gone is the gentle lapping of the water and the comfortable weight of Natasha’s body against you. Fighting against leaded eyelids, you catch a glimmer of white and steel illuminated by a (thankfully dimmed) panel of LED lights overhead, but it’s the smell of hand sanitizer that reveals where this is. Infirmary. This time, as you try to look around again, it’s evident that you’re alone. Aware of an itch on the back of your hand, it’s with some trepidation you begin to search for the button to call for the nurse or whoever’s on duty.

What happened? You recall the bath, the sighs on Tasha’s lips before…the vision. The scene had unfolded (or will unfold) somewhere tropical, a lush jungle as a backdrop for the little houses in a village or maybe the outskirts of a town. It’s the two-story building with the flaking reddish concrete that holds Brock, so that’s where you have to go because you’re the only one that can get access to the place. But…why? There’s no logic to it as far as you can tell. Why would he let me in? But he did, or will, waiting on the other side of the door with a crazed smile as if it had been an agreement to meet. It hurts just to think about it, and not just in your head.

A door slides open with the ssshhh of vacuum, allowing the petite Dr. Cho to enter with Maria Hill in tow.

“How you feelin’?” Maria asks, phone in hand and thumb dancing on the little screen, “Promised to let Natasha know as soon as you woke up.”

Your throat is dry when you try to answer, but Cho is already prepared and stands with a glass of water with a straw in it. It’s drained before you try again. “I’m ‘kay…I guess.” Admittedly, you wouldn’t quite mind volunteering to test a guillotine, but that just means you’re alive. “Where’s Tasha? Why am I here?”

… Romanoff …

48 hours. Learning to wait had been a part of Natasha’s training, but the last 48 hours after [Y/N] seized up in the bathtub have been the longest and hardest to get through for the former assassin. Steve had offered she stayed back, he could ask his buddy Sam to cover, but of course she can’t accept that either. The redhead needs to stay busy which isn’t an option if she stayed by the side of the bed. Useless, that’s what Tasha would have been.

“Everything’s okay?” Clint asks, placing the last slice of cheese on the impressive sandwich he’s made.

There’s a distinct absence of weight on Natasha’s chest, a pressure she hadn’t allowed herself to focus on until now when she finally can breathe freely again. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

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