#if i didn't deserve that why did it happen (terrible mindset to have but I'm 21 a whole adult i shouldn't have even tried to start

[blitz0hno]

So after our ermmmmm turbulent first relationship-turned-situationship of 2 years w our ex highschool best friend our longest lasting relationship is <24hrs total and still managed to end w the person saying I'm terrible???? Fuck.

Tough thing is, I did my damn best but every time I explain this shit it'll ALWAYS sound like I'm leaving something out that I did wrong; but I was always the one apologizing even growing up I always had to apologize, is there just something about me that makes my actions more severe? Why do I have to feel guilty over people who never cared to actually know me? Did I not work hard enough to be "known"? I only ever wanted to see them happy and I thought I expressed that.

Why do people think that it's ok to try and gaslight me just so they don't have to admit fault? I know she blocked me and I said I respected that, only for her to try to tell me that I didn't care. Well I admit fault when it's mine, but the minute I ask the same of the other person they just act like I want to be "right." Well am I wrong for wanting to be CONSIDERED? For wanting my perspective acknowledged the way I take theirs into account?

Plenty of people find others that care for them like that. Why do people stop caring about what I need just because I act independent? I don't even ask for much. I had to stop myself from asking for "basic kindness" when she asked me what I wanted in a partner at the risk of sounding pathetic, but I guess I don't even get that. I just upset motherfuckers one way or another, I don't even have to do anything but be myself.

Is it something you really do earn? Something I have yet to lower myself to deserve? I want someone to be fucking honest with me, allow me to be honest as well, and not abandon me for it. Someone needs to tell me what the fuck I'm doing wrong. Is everyone I'm close with just going to freak out and run the other way the SECOND I mess up, just because I normally don't? Because I try so hard not to, I'm just expected not to? Not an ounce or effort of forgiveness that makes me give people chance after chance even when they hurt me?

Don't lie about me.

It's ok for everyone else but not for me.

Why? Hey,

why can't I just get it right?

[dynamightmite]

you seem optimistic so you think we’re still getting shigaraki back? :( i’m really sad the way hori has handled the izuku tenko plotline as of right now like i just can’t wrap my head around this

I mean, I definitely think it's a possibility. We still don't know exactly what happened to overhaul/decay, and how it may be used in the future. We saw Tenko and Deku touch fists; theoretically there could have been some kind of exchange there, or he could be existing as a vestige in some way.

Then again, (and this is going to piss a lot of people off :')) I kind of... get where Horikoshi is going with it?

BEFORE YOU START BOOING!

I think a lot of the discomfort and hurt from fans comes from the perception that Izuku failed to save Tenko. That, by allowing him to die, the narrative is in fact saying he didn't deserve to be save--that Horikoshi himself doesn't believe Tenko truly deserved it. I have also seen a lot of talk about how it doesn't fit in with the ongoing, overarching themes of the narrative, and (while I'm not saying these people are wrong) I would like to push back on that a little, because I think there is precedence in the story as to why Tenko's death holds up, despite it being terrible.

The culmination of Tenko's arc broaches a crossroad of two major concepts in the story: heroes, and saving, and what both of those ideas mean. And, I think, in Tenko's death, we get and answer to both, and more importantly, an answer to his overall purpose.

What does it mean to save? In BNHA, the concept is a little vague. I've often people ascribe the "total victory" mindset as one of protection, as preventing any tragedy or harm. Through that lens, Tenko's death therefore is an automatic failure--a nonstarter. HE's dead, so he wasn't saved. The end. However, while "saving" might seem like a simple, straight forward concept, I would like to dig a little deeper, because I think what Horikoshi's doing is much more interesting.

Saving (Deku's definition of it, anyway) is a lot closer to freeing than it is to protecting. Which sounds weird, but I'll do my best to explain. I think the two best examples of this particular nuance to his definition are actually in two characters people tend to forget he saved: Shoto and Gentle Criminal.

Because he did save both of them. Not in the really obvious, black-and-white way he saved Eri, no, but he did save them. And both times were... painful, to say the least.

When Deku went after Shoto during the sport's festival, it wasn't, like, nice. He dug his little nerd fingers in where it hurt the worst and dragged out Shoto's biggest fears and insecurities, and then he said GET OVER THEM. Stop letting them control you. Stop letting your father control you. You're your own person, and you get to make your own choices.

He didn't punch Endeavor. He didn't even take pity on Shoto, or say he was sorry. But you know what he did do? Deku cut the leash. AND he damn near killed Shoto (and himself) making sure that Shoto understood that he was free. He gave Shoto back something that he'd been missing, something he was afraid to look in the face; something that Deku picked up, brushed off, and said, "please stop throwing this away, it's important. You're important".

And it works, goddamit.

Gentle is both different and similar. In a similar vein, the way Deku saves Gentle is sort of... not obvious. But I think if you look here:

Gentle isn't a bad person. He's ambitious and a little lax about the law, but he never set out to hurt anybody. But we see over the course of his arc how he gets so tangled up in his own pain and his desperation to be seen that he forgets his own ideals, his own morals. In the face of becoming someone, he loses sight of what matters most to him: just like Deku, Gentle wants to be a hero.

Which, in the end, he is. And Deku's the one who pushes him there.

But what about Tenko? What about the crying child inside him? Why wasn't he saved?

When people talk about child Tenko, they often seem to see him as a symbol of the person that Deku's trying to save. But I think that, just maybe, that's wrong. I think maybe, actually, Deku is trying to save Tenko from that child.

Child Tenko is, in many ways, a symbol of nothing but AFO's power. That is a child stripped of his name, of his original quirk, of his family, of his sense of self. That is a puppet controlled by AFO, without any autonomy of its own. That child is a wound that Tenko cannot escape for as long as AFO still holds any power over him.

That's why this chapter All Might said that maybe Deku did save Tenko, if he no longer saw the child version of him in the vestige realm. Deku did save him. Because Tenko isn't a child anymore, and he isn't AFO's puppet; he's a free man, for the first time in his life.

A free man who chooses to be a hero.

Heroes get talked about a lot in BNHA (duh), but what is the defining quality of a true hero? Someone who wins? Sure. Someone who saves? Yeah, of course. But the actual test of what differentiates a hero from everybody else is their willingness to sacrifice. To give up everything for the greater good. Even if it hurts. Sometimes especially if it hurts. I mean, this has come up a lot through the manga. Deku running in to attack the sludge villain, Mirio giving up his quirk, Eraserhead throwing himself in front of his students, Edgeshot shortening his lifespan to save Bakugo, All Might standing quirkless in front of the greatest evil of his time-- literally the constant refrain from the narrative has been that being willing to sacrifice it all is what makes a hero a hero.

Tenko's final wish from last chapter is gut wrenching, but: he wanted to be a hero for the Villains. The rest of the world can rot for all he cares, but his friends, those disenfranchised, hurt people that everyone else gave up on? Those people who have never been saved, those people who have never been protected... he wants to be their hero. In the face of danger, of certain doom, he is a free man, and he has a choice.

So he makes a sacrifice. His final act is to become a hero. For them.

Cue the sobbing tears.

Additionally, I think it's relevant to point out here how strongly the narrative has advocated for victimhood to be divorced from being a perpetual self-identity. It really emphasizes the power of choosing to rise above your situation and pain to help other people, while also suggesting that your pain does not excuse you from hurting people. You can be a victim and you can be a perpetrator; they are not mutually exclusive. And because of this, after Deku saves Tenko, he does not owe him. He saved Tenko, but he could not keep him alive, and... I don't think that it's about Tenko deserving or not deserving to die. It's just that Tenko had reached a point of no return where his only choices were to die a slave or die free and he broke his shackles. But he was always going to die. Doomed by the narrative, both literally and figuratively. We can argue all day as to what degree of responsibility he holds for his actions as a highly abused, traumatized, often shell of a person. But the point is that at every junction of the story, Tenko (and the story around him) escalated until he was trapped. There wasn't a way out, and it's heartbreaking, and maybe that's the point.

I'm not saying it's fair. I'm certainly not saying you have to like it. But... I don't know. I don't feel like this is some completely out of pocket, off-the-rails end that destroyed all its characters. And who knows! Maybe Tenko will be brought back later. Maybe the epilogue will get progressively worse and I'll hate it. Maybe I'll finally get some sleep and regret writing this at all. I have no idea. Really. But we're all in this together, so these are my thoughts right now :)

[qeireinier]

I think what Original Luo Binghe did to Shen Jiu parallels what happened between Wei Wuxian and Wen Chao. Let me yap.

Look this might sound stupid to you but I just rewatched MDZS and I JUST saw some similarities with PIDW. After coming out of the Burial Mounds, WWX literally tortured WC before his death. The Burial Mounds is a place of literal torture and WWX went through HELL in it without his golden core. Because of what? Because of WC, he's the one who threw him into there.

It's an eye for an eye. WWX must've gotten his organs rearranged, bones crushed by constant attacks from walking corpses, eaten corpse fingers to survive, and many other horrors MXTX didn't mention. So WC SHOULD feel all of that, as payment for his sins to WWX and all other people he inflicted.

With LBG and SJ, the Endless Abyss is almost no different than Burial Mounds except it's festered with demonic instead of resentful energy (I think they're not really the same type?) and various types of beasts iirc. So even with his golden core, it's still harder for LBH because he barely knew how to avoid or fight them, where their weak spots are, etc. And instead of 3 months, it's 5 YEARS so it's enough time for his hatred for SJ to fester like a fairytale witch's soup. In the very beginning, he must've also gone through hell. Maybe the beasts ripped his limbs apart, stabbed his eyes, pulled his tongue out and only because of his Heavenly Demon blood that he recovered himself back (probably). It's very different from running away from resentful corpses because you KNOW just how to fight them off, even though it's just impossible for their number.

So, seeing LBH making SJ into a human stick doesn't surprise me too much. It's the case of an eye for an eye. No, it's still wrong, I'm not justifying it. I'm just making my analysis. THAT'S why it reminds me so much of WC's death.

Even both of the MCs have a demonic object in their hands, the Stygian Tiger Seal and Xin Mo. Both are untamable and capable of driving their holders insane. What differs our MC however—is that WWX has things to lose, and that's why he's often shown to be holding himself back from a killing spree. Hell, he's even the actual most righteous character in the novel.

While LBH doesn't have anything left to lose. He doesn't have a family, friends, all these wives and servants probably don't mean much on him. Also, his demon blood affects his mindset, giving his brain more "predatory instincts" as I'm gonna call it. Added with the fact that he spent more time in the Endless Abyss and how his mind had been corrupted by Xin Mo, LBH would pull a "No More Mr. Nice Guy, Heh >:)". That makes him not so kind as to give SJ the mercy of death. He probably wanted to keep SJ alive for 5 years or maybe forever til his brain finally decides "yep, that's it, go die or whatever idc anymore". Yeah, until BingggeMei extra happened and we could probably assume SJ's death is never gonna happen, but that's for another story nevermind.

However, it does mean that the latter won't hold himself back. The point where he crosses the line is when he burns down the CQMS, kills the Peak Lords, and even went so far as to merge the demonic and mortal realms. That's what differs him from WWX, so much. It's literally canonically said that he's not the nice kind of protag.

SO in conclusion—when I see people talking about how "SJ didn't deserve all that", I'm between agreeing and disagreeing. What LBG did to SJ is terribly inhumane, but that's to be expected from a demon emperor like him. Hey I'm a SJ stan, it doesn't mean my views are completely biased. Especially considering what LBG possibly went through in the Endless Abyss for five years as a mere disciple without a sword like Xuan Su.

I think this is why PIDW readers rooted for LBG, because the story was from his POV. Tragic MC, thrown into the pits of hell by his cruel master. Our perspective is widened through reading SV and we can see the tragic POV of SJ and so we start to root for him too. No, it doesn't mean that either of these 2 are completely right in their choices, the both of them are very flawed and they're trapped in this cycle of abuse, very harmful to the surroundings. We can't fully fault or justify them. Yes, they need therapists, perchance one hidden behind a very powerful barrier in case any of them decides to attack the poor therapist.

But this realization—the parallels between LBG&SJ and WWX&WC—just kind of amazes me. Okay, ted talk ends, thank you for surviving through, if you don't have any nice words to say please scroll away :(

[celestiall0tus]

Abuse is Abuse. Stop blaming the victims and glorifying the abusers!

This needs to be said for such a long time. All across media we see abuse glorified, its victims blamed, and the abusers getting a slap on the wrist more often than not. Especially in recent times. Buckle up because we're in for a ride.

Right off the bat, I have an inkling of what I'm talking about. I suffered from mental and emotional abuse for my entire childhood and teen years. My early 20s were full of strife as I tried to cope with that realized trauma and the fucking shit storm that became our world. So, from an abuse victim and an individual who suffers terrible anxiety and depression, I want to touch on these characters and our perceptions of them.

Pink Diamond

The biggest one I want to address is Pink Diamond. Yes, Pink Diamond/ Rose Quartz. This will always be my personal sore sport because Pink was a victim. She was a child in mindset and actions among the other Diamonds. She was raised by them and thus absorbed all their ways. She was treated more like a jester to entertain the other diamonds and locked away when she wreaked havoc, possibly even bubbled for times. She wasn't treated like the other Diamonds, like what she was supposed to be. She was less than that and powerless to be herself. She had to go through with what they said and didn't have her own autonomy in that degree. She had to fit into a mold that she wasn't meant to fit into.

And honestly, Pink is the strongest of all the victims I'll be touching on. The hardest thing isn't acknowledging the abuse or seeking help, it's breaking free. I haven't even done that part, not fully. But Pink did. She rebelled. She fought against the other Diamonds for what she wanted and believed in. She saw the truth and took a stand. She grew. She changed. She moved on. Despite being a gem, she was the most human of all the cast. And yet we ignore everything because of the decisions she made that impacted everyone around her.

All her followers were corrupted. Pearl was sworn to silence because of a simple order. Steven had to deal with her baggage. And, I'll be fair, it's ass, but not entirely her fault. In life, we can't say what will happen. We often need to roll with the punches and work with what we know at the time. Pink didn't know how the Diamonds would react to her "shattering" because while they claimed to "love" her, what reason would she have to believe it? For Pearl and Steven for that matter, Rose thought the Diamonds were done with Earth. She thought she was free. She never intended Steven to have to deal with her baggage since she thought it was all done and over with. In all of FIVE THOUSAND YEARS, the Diamonds never came for them. She likely thought they were all safe and could live peacefully. They'd never have to look back. She'd never have to look back. Her past wouldn't hold her back. She could finally be free to be herself.

I truly find it appalling that she is damned for this. She broke free. She made mistakes but took a stand. She fought for her own freedom. She didn't have to have her past hold her back anymore, but she's the villain. It's her fault for everything. She should have just been a good little Diamond and stayed fucking put, right? Who cares what she did as Rose Quartz was for the good when Pink Diamond was the incarnate of evil, right? The one thing that I will give a little flack on is Spinel. That was upsetting and she did act rashly telling Spinel to stay when she could have brought Spinel with her, but I understand why she didn't since she wanted to be taken seriously at the time.

Pink deserved so much more than what she got. Pink was a victim, but in the end, they made her out to be the monster.

Miraculous

I want to cover Miraculous as a whole as there are many different types of abuse that go on within this show that are typically swept under the rug unless it comes to truly "irredeemable" characters. So, let's start this:

The Bourgeois Family: This is such a messy ass family. Chloe is outright blamed for the abuse that she suffers from having shitty ass fucking parents. Audrey we know is no saint. She is literally the girlboss businesswoman that ain't got time for her family. Andre is slightly better, but still instilled negative morals in Chloe and while recognizing it in himself, failed to see what he did to Chloe as his fault. Instead, Chloe is seen as the problem to everything. That she just picked up on those habits and sought to make people miserable as a result. Chloe is a victim, but also an abuser. She projects how she's treated onto others as a coping mechanism and a catharsis. Zoe might be a victim because who knows exactly what Audrey did, but she does seem rather well adjusted, so I don't know. Clarity on Zoe: I don't think she's an abuser, I moreso touched on her being abused having lived with Audrey, but it throws me off as she's very well adjusted, so it makes me think that her father was a good one or, just as likely, Audrey had very little involvement in Zoe's upbringing.

The Fathom Family: This is... interesting. So, we see how Felix saw Colt and that yes, Colt abused Felix. That was addressed, though Amelie does enable Felix a little and was a little blind to the horrible acts that Felix had committed. So, no big thing on the Fathoms, but it's still there, but was acknowledged.

The Agreste Family: Holy fuck, someone call CPS, because this boy needs to get out of there. Gabriel very obviously hits every single key points of an abuser. Nathalie does enable the abuse a little in the start, but at the same time, she kinda needs a job. And the money must be good enough and add to boot she can live there too. I also don't appreciate how there are times where Adrien reacts in a way you'd expect a victim of abuse to react, but gets damned for it. Like in the New York special when he fucks up and Ladybug yells at him, he would give up his Miraculous because he feels like absolute shit and horrible for failing. Or agreeing with his father that he should have never gone there? These are all symptoms of abuse and yet he's damned for those moments. He is a fucking victim like Chloe.

The Tsurugi Family: Can someone say, helicopter parent? Now, this in of itself is a kinda thing? I believe? I know it's something of stereotype that Asian parents can be overbearing and overprotective. Kinda like Ming from Turning Red, which was pulled from the director's own experiences growing up. So, this is a little hard to judge. It is still abuse no matter how you paint it, but again, I don't feel like I'm the best person to talk about it. So, I'm going to leave this one here.

Marinette: I hate to add fuel to the fire, but here we go. Marinette is a stalking. Stalking. Is. Abuse! I don't care how much the show paints it as a joke, it isn't. A lot of us know this, but I want to stress that stalking is a form of abuse. And it's honestly terrifying that Adrien falls in love with his Yandere (she is, fight me) stalker. I get that she was a victim of bullying, but like, we get one episode on this trauma because of Kim (more thanks to Chloe) but how is the result stalking? I get wanting to know everything about a person before really considering them as a partner, but how does that equal stalking? It's just deeply unsettling and I cannot personally justify shipping Adrienette due to this.

Chloe: I have to fair, Chloe, despite being a victim, is also an abuser. Bullying is never right. And in that same episode we see Marinette's trauma, we see the hell that Chloe put Marinette through. I don't fucking care what baggage you carry, that shit ain't right in any sense. I was honestly appalled by how far Chloe went to isolate, alienate, and torture Marinette. Like, holy fuck, how is Marinette not more of a mess? Like Marinette, a victim can become an abuser.

The only one in Miraculous that gets something of a punishment is Chloe, which is upsetting. Marinette gets the boy she's been stalking. Felix and Andre get a half-assed redemption. Audrey and Tomoe don't change. Zoe exists. Gabriel gets his wish and rewrites reality. Nathalie is Nathalie.

Elsa

Say what you want, but Elsa was a victim of abuse. She locked away, told to hide her powers, to constantly: conceal, don't feel, don't let it show. She suffered from terrible anxiety and depression due to her powers and the danger they possessed. I mean, she did almost accidentally kill her sister when they were kids.

Say what you will about material made outside the movie, but I did read the Dangerous Secrets book that goes into Elsa's parents backstory. We do get to see them struggle to keep her powers a secret from the town since tensions were still high and the people didn't trust magic. And having the heir to the throne born with magic is very dangerous. It touches on their struggle to raise Elsa, keep her secret, and how it nearly tore the family apart. They searched for years for answers to help their daughter while Agnarr raised her how he was.

This I can find a little excusable. There is no manual to raise children. We kinda have to pull from our own experiences of what to do and not do. Agnarr lost his father at a young age and was king at a young age. He carried his father's mantra of "conceal, don't feel, don't let it show" with him and it genuinely helped him where it damned Elsa.

To that degree, I can forgive Agnarr and Iduna seeing their side of things. They genuinely tried, had no fucking clue what they were doing, and were put between a rock and a hard place. However, the means don't justify the ends and Elsa was damned for the type of abuse she suffered.

So, it really is no wonder why Elsa's first instinct is to run. It's to hide away. To isolate herself as she always had been. She's safer, and everyone else for that matter, if she's kept far away from them. It's why Let it Go is such a cathartic song. She is free (though still chained). She doesn't have to worry about them (not knowing what she did.) She is queen of her own kingdom (even if she abandoned her old one). She was free, but to a point. Her arc doesn't come to some completion until the second movie with Show Yourself. The line "You're the one you've been waiting for," is absolutely true and heartbreaking. That was the moment that Elsa was finally free.

Cinderella

Last one and one of the biggest ones. This irks me a lot. Especially the Disney one. Cinderella was abused for years, humiliated, and isolated. Forced to be a maid in her own household. And yet she's to blame? I'm sorry, how?

How was any of that her fault? She was trapped in a terrible situation with no where to go. Don't forget, she was a child when that happened so there are years of conditioning and abuse. Even through it all, Cinderella was kind, loving, and bold. She never gave up until the moment she could have a dream come true, to go to the ball, only to have it destroyed by her stepfamily.

And, what? We blame her for not saving herself and neededing a man to do it? First of all, you're giving that bitch boy too much credit. He provided an escape, but he didn't save her. In all honesty, you should be giving credit to the mice and birds. They really saved Cinderella, who then saved herself when she presented her other slipper. And so what if she needed help? Breaking free from an abuser is the hardest thing to do and I've met only a handful of people that freed themselves. A lot of people usually need help. So, fuck off she should have saved herself. Fuck off she should have been strong enough to break free. Abuse is abuse. And when you suffer that shit from fucking childhood, that is deeply ingrained in your subconscious. You are fucked for life. And if you weren't, here's a cookie.

Abuse is abuse. We offer redemption to the abusers, but condemn the abused in the process. We need to break this cycle and it starts with us. Writers and artists, it's our job to break these cycles. To create pieces that are true expressions of our experiences and the truths behind them. Adding a touch of reality that the older generation are trying to blind us and gaslight us for. It starts with all of us.

This has been a L0tus talk. Have a lovely day.

[gunsli-01]

for milgram oc ask game ages 11 and 16 and questions 4, 8, 10, 11

Oh, yay!

4. Do they view their murder(s) and justifiable?

Jester is a pretty simple and straightforward person. He tends to view anything as justifiable. He takes things from every angle and isn't the quickest to anger. In a Milgram AU he'd be a bit of a frightening case because he simply could justify anything and feel nothing about doing it. In his regular canon this is beneficial.

Yet it'd make him the worse sort of person in Milgram. His whole stance would be similar to Yuno's.

"The fact I'm here and this is happening is proof enough that what I did needed to occur. You seriously think I'd get myself into this much trouble for what- Fun? If I didn't have to do it, I wouldn't have and the fact that I needed to is justification enough. There's really no need to talk about it any further than that."

Would be his only mindset about it and he would view someone else judging his behavior as a waste of his time. He's a pretty chill kid for the most part but incredibly picky about who he talks to and the opinions he allows to hold weight to him.

So, he'd probably be a standoffish prisoner if he were amongst a bunch of strangers. Not because they're murderers. Simply put he just has no interest in forming connections he doesn't want to and being forced to be around a bunch of people is the best way to make him not want to.

8. What do the voices of the outside world tell them?

"You're a really selfish person." "How could someone like you have the audacity to call yourself anyone's friend let alone theirs'." "A terrible person." "I'd feel sorry for you, but I know what happened to the last person who did that." "It must be hard..." "You seem to miss them deeply." "It gets better." "You did what you had to." "The situation was just all wrong." "I hope you feel better."

10. What is their image color?

Amaranth Purple- Amaranth would also be the flower most prominent in his birthday art.

It can represent immortality and means

"Unfading Affection" or "Everlasting Love" when given as gifts. Here's some facts about it.

X X X

11. What reoccurring themes present themselves throughout their music videos?

A lot of allusions to travel, small almost suffocatingly so rooms in large houses, superficial acts of communication that lead to increased loneliness, and a disdain for the genuine.

(I'm so fucking sorry i misread sixteen as twenty-six and I have no real explaination as to how outside of it's late and I was tired. So, now you get three ocs. I'm just adding this here to avoid confusion.)

Ah this next one may be a bit of a copout of an answer given that they are the age you asked for in real time but in their canon they're only nineteen. Hope that isn't a bother. Especially since I don't get to talk about them often. Despite them being one of my personal favorite characters to write.

His actual story is under reconstruction, and I haven't gotten to touch his character in a while as a result. technically it's being merged with another story.

Though if he did wind up in Milgram, he definitely would not be his age in canon which is why I went with his age by the current year when it comes to a Milgram au. Jester on the other hand would fuck up that young.

4. Do they view their murder(s) and justifiable?

"I didn't mean it, I didn't- mean it. This isn't the solution I wanted."

No. He does not. However, the problem was successfully solved. No one was satisfied though.

8. What do the voices of the outside world tell them?

"Your life is fucked up." "That's scary." "You deserve to stay in there." "This is just sad." "That's not how family is supposed to behave." "I don't know how to feel about this." "I want to forgive you but I also think it's safer if you stay in Milgram as long as they're not killing people at the end of this." "I'd say get therapy but that was part of the problem in this case." "Yes king dissociate harder. Reality is flawed." "In a unique twist of fate everyone here was so wrong that we've gone straight to a neutral outcome." "Those people kind of deserved it." "After a point a solution becomes a problem somehow you reached that point at birth." "Everything that could have gone wrong here went wrong. Good job team. Pack it up we can stop having things occur for this man now."

10. What is their image color?

Because I brought up a flower for Jester, I feel bad not bringing up one for Leyton.

His flower would be Azaleas.

Azaleas tend to mean Temperence and are used to remind people to take it easy.

"While azaleas represent passion, they also symbolize temperance. In other words, the plant reminds us of our ability to practice moderation — even when it comes to those things and people we love the most. You can still live a life full of love, romance, beauty, passion, and abundance while remaining level-headed and avoiding overindulgence. Self-control is a must-have in order to achieve stability and groundedness in your life. All things in moderation." X

They've also been related to family.

X

Something that generally makes them fit Leyton nicely.

11. What reoccurring themes present themselves throughout their music videos?

Persistence, distortion, power imbalances, responsibility, existentialism (primarily focusing on the right one has to exist and repaying those who made it possible for them to exist without question when asked), familial duty, housing, fiscal stability. Depending on his current mindset sibling relationships.

I'd love to hear your opinion on them. I love all my ocs dearly. Even though they're all a bit fucked up.

Goes up to reread ask to see if I answered correctly-

Oh, fuck you said sixteen! Damn it how did I read twenty-six. I'm sorry it's late and I'm still sick. So, I guess you're getting three ocs because it would be a waste to erase all that.

So, say hello to one of the specialist of girls,

4. Do they view their murder(s) and justifiable?

"Ha-ha, what a funny question. Do things people do need a reason or to be justifiable? It's such a immature way of looking at things... Guard, are you sure you're up for this sort of job? Not everything needs or has a justification you know. Besides even if I did have one that wouldn't make my actions any less objectively bad. Sorry, I'll stop teasing. Since I got what I wanted I'd say it was justified."

Yes, but no, but yes. If the ends justify the means then yeah she guesses what she did was justifiable but she also really has zero inclination to justify it. She's just an outcome based person.

8. What do the voices of the outside world tell them?

"You're not sorry at all!" "Your hair is super cute!" "How can you still be having a good time after doing all that." "Do you even feel empathy?" "You had way too much free time." "Well being raised like that what should we expect." "It's not bad to focus on one's own needs but..." "How exactly did you get what you wanted here this is a terrible outcome? It's a surpise you still have friends. I couldn't imagine speaking to anyone who did this ever again." "You plan to just go back and what pretend you didn't do all that?!" "YOU STILL HAVE AN ACTING CAREER BITCH! HOW?! I LOSE JOBS FOR JUST BREATHING WRONG AND YOU'RE STILL EMPLOYED!" "This is gonna be bad to say but I'm ultimately just impressed at the level of thought put into this at this point. I mean instead of being normal you truly went fuck it I'll escalate this further. Really went we can be insane together." "How the fuck is he not here- oh wait... Yeah, he's the victim." "I know voting innocent isn't going to make her better but she had me at 'Dead and gone- Oh she's crazy my love's eternal but you'll fade quickly'. I'm not fixing this I want her to get worse actually." "She's soooo normal." "This is what he would've wanted." "Toxic heteronormativity sweep!" "What you and your victim had was special. You both made each other so much worse and I have no doubt there's a universe in which he's here instead of you."

(Side note there is. If being worse was a contact sport James and Luna would be the worlds best team even though they're actually shown to be quite reasonable in their respective canons. They're both really susceptible to living in extremes. The only thing that leveled these two out was putting them in a polyamorous relationship with the nearest individual with a moral compass. However in a Milgram au one of them must be dead for the other to be here and they never spoke to that third person.)

10. What is their image color?

Her flower is Orchid the white variety mainly.

X

11. What reoccurring themes present themselves throughout their music videos?

The sun (in it's many forms but mainly sunlight), lack of presence, authenticity, boredom, extreme thrill seeking behavior, the feeling that there's only one opinion that matters and it's not the audience's or hers, contentment, memories.

[tyrannuspitch]

it makes me very sad that thor is really not good at expressing his emotional needs (believing he needs to appear invulnerable to protect himself and others), and loki is not very good at responding to others' emotional needs (selfishness as a survival mechanism from growing up in an environment that demanded self-sacrifice), and also that... i think loki is specifically bad at seeing thor as someone with needs, someone vulnerable, someone whom he of all people could hurt. :(

like of course loki knows he can physically hurt thor, and he knows he's made thor cry, etc, but i still feel like... it slips his mind. it's hard to focus on and fully believe. his basic mentality around their relationship is like... if i'm keeping thor safe, it's because i don't want to lose him. if i'm trying not to upset thor, it's because i don't want him to hurt me. if i have hurt thor and he isn't hurting me back and i feel guilty, that's because i'm a terrible person and he isn't. (ie, still focusing on himself and punishment, rather than on thor and healing.)

and whenever loki tries to change something about their relationship, he's often still stuck in this mentality.

like, on one hand, we have loki's rage/rebellion. he doesn't want to be subordinated any more and he will do anything to break free - even when thor is not a remotely credible threat! in T1, he tries to kill thor, who is both exiled and mortal, because he can't believe that he can hold the power in their relationship and be allowed to keep it. he can't see thor as his equal - thor must always be more powerful and less vulnerable than him. the "natural order" will always reassert itself; thor can always win.

and then on the other hand, we have loki's self-sacrifice. after T1, he is able to see thor as vulnerable enough to die. he's seen it happen, and he won't let it happen again. he wants to apologise, atone, and protect thor. (*and to punish himself, and to escape, but those aren't as relevant right now.) but at the same time, loki's self-sacrifice hurts thor, and i don't think he ever quite understands how badly. he thinks of it as dying for thor, not as making thor watch me die. he thinks thor will live to remember me as someone who loved him, not thor will have nightmares of my corpse for the rest of his life.

(but of course, as well as underestimating thor's vulnerability, i think loki's lack of self-worth plays into his underestimations of harm - not just "how could i, an inferior, hurt thor?" but also... how could i, someone unlovable, be mourned by thor? i can disobey him, but can i betray him? i can wound him, but can i break his heart? isn't he glad to be rid of me? didn't he always know i was a monster? isn't this what he thinks i deserve?)

the brothers' power dynamic is obviously very very damaging for loki. but i also think that if they managed to speak about it and actively tried to fix the power dynamic just from the perspective of not subjugating loki... their belief in their own inequality might still be incredibly damaging to thor.

like. if you ever managed to get thor to understand how and why his controlling behaviour and mindset towards loki is damaging, he would probably have a massive guilt crash like he did in T1. he'd become very pliant, accepting of abuse, and possible even actively self-destructive, because he's been trying his hardest to keep loki safe and to be kind and forgiving and all this time he's been causing him harm and he had no idea, and maybe that means loki's mental breakdown and suicide attempts and murder attempts and war crimes and every other thing wrong in the world are all his fault, how can he trust himself with anything, how can he expect to deserve anything, how can he possibly begin to make amends...

and i think loki would probably not be looking out for thor's feelings AT ALL in this scenario. he'd be on edge and paranoid because he's confessed something deeply vulnerable that he's struggled to even put into words for most of his life, and now after a thousand years thor claims to be sorry? and to understand? just like that??? loki might even pick fights to test thor's commitment/honesty/etc and try to bring about the "inevitable" return to the status quo quickly, cleanly and of his own accord...

like, i don't think loki would feel punitive; i think the majority of his vengeance in canon is actually, like, 90% cry for help or escape attempt or similar, and would dissipate fairly fast once he felt heard. but i think he would be disoriented and anxious and - again - not quite be able to believe that thor was truly his equal and just as vulnerable as him... perhaps this is just some new method of control in disguise...

this tangent has got away from me but. god. the power dynamic really is fucked up in every direction isn't it. (demonisation vs idealisation, dehumanisation of the weak, dehumanisation of the strong, etc...) what a MESS!!

[ace-attorney-prison]

Hi i’m back!! Hope you’re doing well :D

Anyways, looking back to that time i asked you about the Jacques and Jack hc (which i still think about til today bc your interpretation of their relationship was so good), turns out that i like Jack even more now lmao

So, any general headcanons for Jack Hammer? Dunno if you’d consider him a villain or not (bc i do), so if you don’t have any hcs for him then you can do general hcs for Jacques instead, i’d be happy with either of them!

Ty again and have a nice day!!

(Btw sorry for the kinda long ask lol i didn’t expect it to be this long shsjsksk, also please take your time with the answers, i can wait :)) )

Hi!! I'm really glad you liked my headcanons, and thank you again for asking! <3 I love thinking about and developing these characters c:

I'll guess I'll start out by saying that-

For a good while now, I've headcanoned that Juan has looked up to Jack Hammer since childhood (courtesy of @zarla-s and @bardic-feline)

In my own HC, Juan's parents took him to a convention when he was a kid, and since Jack starred in The Singing Samurai, his parents took him to a meet and greet. Juan didn't know the guy or that movie at the time and wasn't super interested, but they talked briefly and Jack said some encouraging things to Juan (who was primarily interested in a music career), and Juan was like !!!! and watched the movies he was in later and looked up to him ever since.

One of the big reasons he looked up to him is because of similar circumstances. Like Juan, Jack didn't grow up wealthy. Didn't grow up with one foot already in the door of the industry. He just had a dream and worked hard for it until he got his big break- which was really encouraging to little kid Juan.

‎

Jack always thought of himself as a good guy. He'd treat people with respect (when he thought they deserved it), was kind to children, friendly with most people. Part of his reputation was earned by being a decent guy. He'd even consider it part of his career to take the extra mile (or half-mile) for those he networks with.

So when the accident happened, it hit him. Hard.

Dee was wrong- it wasn't on purpose. Sure, Manuel kept acting like Jack wasn't working hard enough on their fight scene- wasn't making it realistic enough, wasn't putting enough energy into the action, etc. And Jack, being a more experienced actor (in his opinion) and a more popular and successful one, felt irritated and spoken down to. So, yes, he made it a point to shove much harder. But he never meant to kill him. Didn't mean to even seriously injure him. It was an accident. A mistake.

He feels so numb and guilty that for a while, he just takes the punishment from Dee. Maybe he was never a good person, and he deserves what he's getting. All these low-paying villain roles he's been having to get into the mindsets of... maybe it's a good role for him. He's awful, terrible.

But after a while, that guilty mindset shifts slightly. And he feels a growing anger towards Dee. It was an accident, one that was traumatizing to him and he feels guilty about. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this. How dare she?

There have even been a few times that she's hinted that she may use her mafia connections to go after his loved ones. (Although she never did, the message was intentional. She wanted him to feel that fear, that pain. To have the threat of a beloved person ripped from him in turn.)

After a while, he starts to consider ending things by killing her, too. He's a monster (or so he's come to internalize), so what's one more dead body at his feet? But murder isn't exactly something he's ever entertained before. Didn't grow up thinking he'd have someone's blood on his hands. So he creates good excuses for himself as to why he should have it done.

She's part of the mafia, so perhaps killing her would save many others. She's hinted at threats towards his family and friends, so perhaps it's necessary.

But really, subconsciously his main reason is his anger and bitterness about how she's been treating him.

As for Will Powers... he doesn't hate him enough to actively want to ruin his life. He doesn't like the guy, though. Everything about Will always annoyed Jack. (Subconsciously, he reminds him of himself in some ways, and it's a painful reminder of all the promise he had when he was younger.)

But the blame has to be pinned on someone, and Will is the most convenient. The fact that he dislikes him so much and harbors so much bitterness towards him just makes it a little easier. If he doesn't pin the blame on him, then the mafia would likely get retribution by hurting Jack and those close to him.

‎

Needless to say, Juan was... shaken to hear the news. Especially since he'd only recently begun to break into the business, and had gotten to briefly meet Jack again at an event only months prior.

[rosalynnpup]

I know you don't want to after everything, but I think at this point you should speak directly to Kirby about this and say your piece if you're able. This has gotten out of hand even for my taste. Especially given what he's going through right now. I've had enough of Spoken and her bullshit, and he doesn't deserve what she's doing/saying, or that harassment account. I can't even imagine what the fuck's going on in his head after everything she's said about him especially with Liebe.

Even if you guys aren't on the best of terms, maybe an olive branch could help? I feel like this all is a big and huge breath of agony on all ends and she's the one keeping it going when I've seen even he wants it to rest. She's punching down on someone sick and homeless right now....I can't defend that...

That's the two-cents I've had. I think he's in a backed up corner like an animal and doesn't know who to trust, and I can't even blame him this time. Maybe just checking on him? Because I'm concerned after everything I've witnessed. You guys used to be friends, so maybe it'll at least help him calm down? I'm terrible at this shit. Bleugh.

I can completely understand where you are coming from, anon. I'll start by saying that the biggest reason I didn't directly reach out is because he is already going through a lot of stress. I don't want to push more onto him by opening up any wounds or causing him to become anxious and make his health worse than it already is. I have unblocked him everywhere (that I can think of/places I use regularly) and I would be willing to lay our issues with each other to rest in DMs when he is healthy enough to do so. I know with his conditions, stress can cause him much more pain than he is already in. I need to know that I wont make that worse before we talk one on one. I was dumb for thinking what spoken was doing was some "act of karma" or "justice begin served". I may not 100% agree with Eden, but fuck, I don't think he deserves to die or get shit on like this 24/7. Every move he makes in monitored and it's concerning when sometimes all he wants to do is post about things he likes. I know whole heartedly he would rather be fixating on R&M or Hazbin and not having to talk about the L*ebe situation over and over again. I don't know what truly happened to him behind closed doors. That's between him and L*ebe. But I believe that some things don't need to be harped on constantly if you don't believe in them. It's why I stepped away from Spoken. It became too much and I almost slipped into the obsessive mindset she has created on her twitter. Finally, I know he will not 100% trust me. I am still friends with Bunni. Him and I do art stuff together all the time. I don't want him to feel any more backed into a corner than he already is. I know in my heart that when the time is right, we will speak again and make amends, even if friendship between us is not the end goal. P.S. Anon, I think you did a wonderful job of expressing what you feel and have seen happening so far. It's a lot to take in and I know it can be stressful, not only to those involved, but to those who are bystanders as well. Hope this cleared some things up. If not, I'll do my best to be more clear and concise in another answer. P.S.S. So sorry for the late response, I just got off work.

[ohmykazuha]

♡ 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮

♡ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: xiao x gn!reader

♡ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: hurt + comfort, a little sprinkle of angst <3

♡ 𝐚/𝐧: heh | like and reblog if you liked this!

If I could begin to be, half of what you think of me; I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love...

Xiao’s heart trembled, his cool facade cast away by the growing anxiety that left him inwardly panting. Years of his karmic debt had turned him into a tired adeptus. His trust had been betrayed by the obstacles – or people – in his way... years of that turned him into a weary soul.

How could he love you? You deserved someone much better. Someone... much less broken. His view on love was warped, a sick anxiety which twisted itself into his mind and body. A true love was only a wishful fantasy for himself. How could he be loved like everyone else? Like... normal?

When I see the way you act, wondering when I'm coming back; I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love like you..

His heart ached. He loved you so much – he wanted to give you the best, and nothing but the best. That was how highly he thought of you. But how could he give you the best if he wasn't the best himself for you?

He saw how you smiled when you were with him. Convincing himself that each smile was faked, posed, masked – Xiao's heart was pained each time you smiled back up at him.

"Xiao, are you alright?" You asked, flashing him your signature grin.

Stop, stop it! Stop lying! He deserved none of your love, why did you still pity him as such? Just leave, the door was right there.

"I'm fine." Xiao replied coldly, unsparing a glance.

What happened?

I always thought I might be bad, now I'm sure that it's true; 'Cause I think you're so good, and I'm nothing like you...

Crap. Crap, crap, crap. Xiao felt terrible. He was brushing you aside when all you wanted to do was just check up on him!

"Xiao? Shh. It's okay." Wet tears dripped down his cheeks as he felt his head being cradled, being pushed toward to lean against you. The guilt and the pain consumed him, and he let out shaky breaths, panicking as he frenzied his way out.

"(Y/N)- I'm-I'm sorry, Archons, I'm s-sorry, I can't-" Xiao stumbled, harsh berating playing over and over in his head. Now he was sure that he wasn't deserving of your love.

"Xiao, it's okay. It's going to be okay. I promise you." You replied gently, holding him close, letting the warmth of your own body calm him down. Unbeknownst to the public – except Zhongli – Xiao loved to be close to others. He loved physical contact, especially from you. Even if he felt like he didn't deserve it.

When I see the way you look, shaken by how long it took; I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love like you...

"Nothing is ever alright, (Y/N). It's never alright." He sobbed, each word cutting deep into you. That hurt.

"Xiao, you have to allow yourself to be loved. Believe that you can be loved. That's the only way you can heal." You kissed his forehead. You knew that he had the ability to heal – anyone did. It was a matter of the mindset now.

Time would gracefully heal and mend the remnants of his past. Insecurities took time to move on from, and healing wasn't a linear process. But at last, quiet words soothed his weary soul – and he allowed himself to be loved by you – a love like you.

ahhhh. this felt long but in reality its only 598 words??? lies!!! it feels like 3k! anyways, hope yall liked this. reblogging means the world to me and it helps with my engagement! like and reblog if you liked this! ><

taglist: @bookuya, @mikachuchu, @starglitterz, @cherubbic, @noirkkat, @the-gayest-sky-kid, @ajaxeology, @icecappa, @almondoufu, @gnyuvile, @yeetmeoffjueyunkarst. @simplyxsinned, @heaven-dissolution, @xiaoyksa, @yua1106, @geolatt3u, @mayple, @rim0na, @kamitoge, @abyssheart, @hushyouu, @thaliastea

[flightfoot]

I'm a little confused. Why do we "gotta" criticize ml characters for stuff they never actually did? Like, sure, it happened in a hypothetical scenario, and would have happened without intervention, but it's not actually part of the canon, and therefore not a part of that character's arc or something they can actually be held accountable for.

Eh, no one's obligated to do so. Had enough of people saying "You've got to hold Adrien accountable for X and acknowledge some terrible thing he's done and how he's slime and doesn't deserve to be Chat Noir!" or "Alya has to be held accountable for daring to put something on her blog without fact checking it first, and having the sheer audacity to question Marinette when she claims that Lila's a liar without backing it up." The amount of times I've had to defend Adrien from anons coming into my inbox and yelling about Syren and how he's supposedly responsible for mass death and blackmailed Ladybug somehow... yeesh. I hate that people have been yelling about it for YEARS with Adrien and Alya and that, especially with Adrien, you must recite all their flaws every time you talk about liking them. That same thing happening with Marinette would be just as irritating.

So yeah, no, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. It's often more fun to just coo over Marinette and Adrien being sweet or the whole class hanging out together.

What I DO think, however, is that Ephemeral gives information about Marinette's character, about her mindset and thought process. Plus, while Marinette didn't manage to go through with the plan due to outside circumstances, she did still attempt it - she had it all planned out, had Viperion listening in via headset, and even had him start the Second Chance before things went to crap within the main timeline, and she had to abort to deal with the time distortions.

And it is still part of Marinette's character arc. She still made a plan where she lied to her partner about something very fundamental, about something that their trust, their partnership is built on, something that she's been especially keen on reaffirming again and again: not purposely trying to obtain each other's secret identities without consent. And using a convoluted plan to get around any possibility of Chat Noir not complying with what she's asking, by having him give her his identity under false pretenses, seemingly without any thought given to whether it's right to do so. And with how easily and confidently she stood up to Su-Han at the end of the episode, it seems like she wasn't all that stressed about Su-Han flipping out and taking Chat's ring if she didn't do as he asked, either.

It's actually pretty similar to what Gabriel did to Adrien in Mega Leech, with him lying to Adrien about what kind of commercial he was filming (that it was propaganda for the Oxygen Project and not a perfume ad), because that way, Adrien wouldn't have the chance to object. Basically, getting him to do something under false pretenses because if he knew the truth, he may not comply.

She didn't go through with the plan, true, but that's not because of any realization she had about it being wrong to enact, but because they had to deal with time distortions and she realized that something must've gone so badly awry that Sass needed to use his power without a holder, so she needed to change what she was about to do in order to not have it happen again.

[animeyanderelover]

Another person who wanted to stay anonymous. Angelina deserved better😢.

Request: 41 with Madame Red please?

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, pregnancy, possessiveness, obsessiveness, overprotectiveness, paranoia

Prompt 41: “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll look cute with a swollen stomach carrying our child.”

It seemed to be early afternoon when you finally woke up, bright sunlight hitting you right in your face and making you pull the sheets over your head, whining something about it being too bright in here. You had for once a morning where you didn't have a terrible morning sickness which had more than just once kept you from just enjoying the warmth of the bed and not having to lean over the toilet and feeling miserable. You didn't blame it on the child though.

Angelina wasn't next to you, the place next to you was already cold which must have meant that she had left a while ago, as quietly as possible so she wouldn't wake you up. She had been so happy when you had agreed that you wanted to have children as well and were ready for a test-tube fertilization as well. You knew from Angelina's terrible backstory and how she had lost in a horrible accident her husband, her baby and her ability to have children. And you knew just as much with how much sadness and envy she always looked at other people who were playing with their children. There had been so much pain in those red eyes.

But all of that had seemed to disappear when both of you had received the news that the fertilization had been a success and that you were pregnant. Angelina had cried tears of joy when hearing the news and the rest of the day you had been showered with kisses and praises, the joy and hope in her face had made you feel like you had just done the best thing that you could have done for her, next to having come into her life in the first place of course.

Since both of you had received the news, about one month had passed by and currently you were, according to An herself, in your eleventh week of pregnancy and you were sure that your stomach had already started to swell the tiniest bit, you knew in the following weeks it would continue growing and growing and you knew that it would lead An to being even more touchy than she was already.

You felt like she had gotten ever since more careful with you, more than she had been already. You couldn't blame her, you guessed that after what had happened to her, she was a bit paranoid over you. It wasn't like she treated you bad, she did everything for you and you didn't really have to move a muscle, especially know that you were carrying. But maybe she was a bit too suffocating since you needed your space from time to time too and now that you were pregnant your hormones would start the one day or another to go crazy which meant mood swings.

Still, you weren't angry with her. Your anger always faded away the moment you saw her sincere and joyful smile, exposing her true beauty. And you looked forward to having a small baby as well, you had confidence that the baby would have a good life and would be treated with much love, Angelina would never let anything harm the baby or you.

Maybe you were the tiniest bit nervous about all the months to come, but that was normal. Pregnancy was not something to take lightly and you had already heard so many stories about labor pain that had managed to make you anxious, not wanting to experience the waves of agony washing over you for hours straight. It was in the nature of a human that they feared pain and wanted to avoid it. It made you feel scared as well, but you had to be couragous now. Currently you weren't only taking responsibility for yourself, but for the life inside of you as well.

A soft knock was suddenly heard on the door, causing you to turn around in bed, still wrapped up in the sheets like a caterpillar in a cocoon. It was delightfully warm and you were lazy, your body had slowly started to feel more heavy and tired recently and An had explained to you that this was completely normal whilst carrying a child since it took a lot of energy.

The door was slowly slid open, Angelina's face peeking in, wanting to look whether you were already awake or not. She smiled softly when she saw you neing burried in the sheets, only the upper part of your face being visible, the rest hidden under the blanket. "So you finally woke up. Did you sleep well?", she asked, closing the door behind her and walking over to you, sitting down next to you and carressing your hair.

"I didn't storm this morning to the toilet so I slept well, it is already afternoon after all.", you replied, sitting slowly up and letting a yawn out. "That's good to hear that the little one didn't make too much troubles today." She had a warm look in her eyes when saying this, one of her hands placing itself on your stomach and rubbing over it slightly.

"What do you think it will be? A boy or a girl?", she asked in a mellow tone. You let out a small huff. "How should I know? Is there something you would prefer?", you asked her, looking with a fond look down your stomach as well. "No. I will love them, no matter gender.", she responded and you knew that she meant it. "But I feel like it might be a girl."

You tilted your head a bit, giving her a surprised look. "Why do you think so?" Angelina shrugged her shoulders a bit, looking like she didn't know herself. "It is just my intuition telling me that it will be a girl." The thought of a little daughter filled you with a warm tingling, already imagining how much An would love the little princess.

"If you are already that sure that it will be a girl, what do you think would be a good name for her?", you asked, starting to think about possible names that you could name the little one. You wanted a name that had a meaning, something unique and special, just like the girl. When you said this, the woman suddenly seemed to hesitate for a bit, telling you that something was bothering her. "An, what is it?", you asked worriedly, grabbing her one hand that was still resting on your stomach.

"I...was thinking of naming her...Rachel.", she replied after a while slowly, the words seeming to cause her pain. And your eyes widened shocked when you heard the name she had thought about, knowing instantly what this was all about. "Rachel after your dead sister?" Her red eyes met yours, a unsure, but also decided look in them and she gave you a short nod.

"Rachel...", you murmured the name, glancing shortly down at your still flat stomach before you returned your gaze to hers, giving he a reassuring grin and nodding. "Why not? It is a pretty name. Fitting for a pretty girl. But what if it is a boy?"

"I will let you choose the name for a boy since I already suggested one for a girl. Any ideas?" You let out a sigh, chewing on your lips a bit whilst listening in your head all possible names that you could think off in that moment. But not one seemed to amaze you. "I don't know. There are so many, but not one of them seems to be to my liking.", you whined, making An laugh a bit. "You still got time darling. No need to stress out. I'm sure you'll choose a name befitting for a handsome young boy."

A short moment of silence came over you two, but it wasn't awkward in the least bit, it was relaxing and soothing, Angelina pulling her closer to you and you pressed yourself gladly against her, enjoying the closeness to her. A feint scent of tea and food was hanging on her clothes, you guessed she had prepared breakfast for you downstairs. "Do you think everything will be fine?", you decided to ask her after a while, needing to let this question finally out of your mind.

"Are you scared?" You hummed a bit, feeling the doubts in you stirring up now that you had finally spoken up about it. "It's normal to be unsure about the pregnancy, no matter if it's the first time or not. Nevertheless, I will ensure personally that everything will be alright. You don't have to worry, I will protect you and the child. I won't let anything harm you two. I won't."

When she said the last sentence, you felt her body tensing up slightly and her grip tightening a bit around you, flashbacks filling her mind and mixing bad feelings and old pain up in her. But you trusted her when she said those words, feeling like you shouldn't be so down and insecure about all of this. Especially since An had already gone through so much you felt like you shouldn't make her worry because you were scared.

"What about my belly and the way my body will change?" You meant to change the topic a bit, but you were surprised by how insecure you sounded when hearing you saying this, taking not only Agelina by surprise. "(y/n)...do you worry about how you will look these following months?"

You blinked a bit, forming an answer in your head before letting out a small sigh. "Maybe a bit. I'm just worried that I might become a bit too hard to deal with during the next few months. I truly don't want to make you worry since you already do so much for me. I...kind of feel like I might become a burden."

"Then I want you to know here and now that this couldn't be more wrong. You are anything, but a burden for me.", she protested, sounding a bit angered that you were thinking like this. "I do all of this gladly and whatever troubles I will go through, I'll do it to make sure that both you and the baby will be fine. I will protect my family with everything I can and can't do. Understood?"

The passion and emotions in her voice struck your heart in a painfully touching way which led you to tear up a bit, but maybe these were already your hormones making you more sensible. "Sure, sorry for saying stuff like this. Instead of worrying about such things, I should start feeling more happy and thankful for all I have."

"It's alright. You're just being a bit anxious. But I'll be here for you whenever you need me," , she reassured you with a gentle voice, pressing a kiss against your temple. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll look cute with a swollen stomach carrying our child."

[bumblesimagines]

OBX Season 2

Spoilers obvi

What a ride this season was lmao. So many twists and turns. The soundtrack slapped, the storylines were decent, the characters... hm.

Sarah Cameron and Pope carried this mf season. She went through SO MUCH this season and I'm so proud that not once did she let it make her change her mindset. The pogues don't deserve her friendship. John B does not deserve her. Not a single one of them bothered to check up on her after Wards 'death'. None of them comforted her, none of them asked if she was alright, none of them were there. They expected her to run back. Her ex was literally the only one who showed compassion. I understand Ward hurt them a whole lot but you'd also expect John B to at least give her a hug. He knows what it feels like to lose a parent. He let her deal with that pain and grief alone. It was incredibly disheartening to see her take John B back after everything, especially after he showed he cared more about her hanging with her ex than her almost being drowned by her own brother. 10/10 she was lovely and deserved better this season.

John B was okay in my book. It definitely felt like he put the gold over everything else including himself at times but he did snap back. Then we got to the part where he picked drinking and partying over his grieving girlfriend and didn't bat an eye when she mentioned Rafe attempting to drown her. Maybe it was Chase acting but he didn't show compassion towards Sarah during her grieving. John B was definitely done dirty by his father. Big John is neglectful whether you like it or not, it's a fact. Prioritizing treasure over your child and then not even sending them a sign that you're alive is just shitty.

JJ Maybank is still a lil baby. I don't really see him with Kiara but they're most likely gonna happen and ya know what, good for them. Him having to face his abusive deadbeat dad again was hard but at least Luke is out of his life. The grabbing of the chest makes it seem like he might have a heart problem or anxiety problems so we'll see if they show him dealing with that in s3. I'm a JJPope shipper at heart and the moments they had together this season definitely stuck with me lmao.

Kiara Carrera gave me very much Ginny and Monse vibes this season. Ginny with how she acted towards her parents and Monse with how she acted towards others, specifically Pope and sometimes JJ. I'm starting to think her dad might be her stepdad since her annoyance was mainly directed at her mom. If her dad was a pogue, why wasn't she more mad at him? The scene with her and Luke made me think that Luke could've been her dad if I'm honest since he mentioned having known her mom in their youth. I feel like Kies character development took a hit and went downhill. I also don't feel like she likes men.

Pope Heyward carried this season and he got more attentionnnnn. I'm surprised it took him that many eps to figure out he was related to Denmark. I'm happy he's fighting for his family's history though the issue with the key was so pointless since the cross was empty anyway. I'm glad he wants Denmark and his legacy to have justice. Pope is definitely developing into a more tough and less cowardly character and I'm proud of him.

Cleo is fruity and nobody can change my mind. I wish she would've had more screentime but considering she's on an island with the others, hopefully she will. I honestly ship Cleo with everyone lmao but specifically with Sarah and/or Kie. I do think they're gonna go down the Pope road tho which I'm not mad about. I hope we get to learn more about her backstory. I love her and her lil knife.

Rafe Cameron needs a therapist asap. He has been crying out for help this whole season and nobody in his life has given him that help. Ward and Rose are terrible parents for brushing it off. Rose had authority after Ward's death and could've gotten him that help but she didn't. Rafe almost killed Sarah and while getting locked away wouldn't have helped his mental health, he's a danger to everyone around him.

Ward Cameron is an abusive piece of shit.

[shra-vasti]

YOON JEONGHAN

Series : To all the boys

Pairing : Yoon Jeonghan x reader

Type : non idol au, ex-lovers au

Genre : angst, drama, fluff, romance

Warnings : none

Word count : 600+

Synopsis : You decided to write some letters to every boy who was a part of your past as your last message after getting diagnosed with chronical disease.

MAIN MASTERLIST

[Received, 15.10.2020] | one | two | three | four | previous

"Okay, something is wrong, why would you suddenly write all these things to me?"

He furrowed his eyebrows thinking of various reason for you to suddenly send this letters to him, you didn't like confrontations and it was as if you were trying to make peace with yourself, but why were you doing that now?

Was the pain too much to handle? Were you finally going to let him go for real? Or you found someone else?

He got up and threw his coffee away, having lost his will to even do anything after reading how much damage he had done to you. He was childish and narcissistic and while trying to protect his feelings, he didn't realize he was hurting you.

He hated himself for treating you the way he did and he wanted to make up for it but the damage was already done and he knew you wanted to do nothing with him.

"You don't know how much I want to see you right now."

But he couldn't, he knew he had to let you go but he didn't want to, he loved you, he knew it but he took you for granted.

He couldn't imagine you in anyone's life other than his, he wanted you to be his and his only and you were but he let other's judgement take a toll on his mindset.

He loved you but he cared more about what others thought of his significant other because he had this habit of boasting himself and his belongings in front of everyone.

He had money, looks, intelligence, friends, everything one could ever ask for and he had you too but he played you because he thought you lacked many aspects.

Thinking about it made him hate himself, you were perfect in your own way and he had no right to point out your flaws when he knew you were already aware of those and were trying your best to accept them but he made you hate yourself more thinking that he was helping you out.

It hurt him, the way to hated him but he knew he deserved it. How he could turn back the time and love you the right way but he couldn't.

He sighed before making his way back towards his bed to lay down and he couldn't stop tears flowing from his eyes knowing he has lost you for real. It was like he was holding on a single string of hope but it had snapped and he was left all lone.

He hated being alone.

"I hope you'll forgive me for the pain I've caused you."

His phone rang again making him clumsily wipe his tears and pick up the call.

"Hello?"

"Your call got cut off abruptly, is everything alright?"

"Am I a terrible person Jihyun?"

His voice cracked unable to hold it in as he spoke.

"No you aren't who told you that?"

"I've hurt so many people in my life, will they ever forgive me for what I did?"

"Why are you saying that? You never hurt anyone."

"I did Jihyun and it's all your fault, you are so naive that you never really told me what I was doing was wrong, you should never let people judge you but because of you, I destroyed something I would've treasured so dearly."

The line went silent for a while as she just stood in place listening him crying his heart out.

"Will you tell me what happened?"

"Y/N, Jihyun I loved her so much but you had to come back to me after breaking up with me and fuck everything up, I was so blinded by having you back that I didn't realize what I was missing on. You made fun of her looks and character and I got so angry I wanted to prove you wrong which led to everything that happened till now."

"She didn't deserve you and your time Jeonghan, you deserve so much better."

"And you think you're better than her? You're so eccentric, I loved you but that didn't mean you would belittle someone innocent, she became a victim of our toxic love, I just want to say don't contact me after this, I know you love me way too much and I know you would go to the moon and back for me but I don't think I can live happily with you after making y/n go through so much over the years that they still aren't over it."

He heard her plead him and he knew he was being impulsive but he also knew he wasn't going to regret this decision. Both of them loved each other but they were toxic they hurt everyone who didn't deserve it.

"Maybe this is my karma, I'm sorry."

He hung his head low and cried and cried and cried untill there were no tears left. It was over for real and he lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.