i just cannot stop thinking of jon trying so hard to grieve for the real elias after he Finds Out because elias died scared and alone to the same power that destroyed jon, because elias was also forced to watch his own body become entirely alien to him as he became Something Else, because elias and jon have both been tortured and Changed by the same man, because jon might be the only person in the world who understands what happened to him and is definitely the only person in the world who cares.
But also, jon can't think of elias' face without having to choke back a scream, cant utter elias' name without wanting to cry, cant think about elias' body without the feeling of being watched, worms burrowing into his skin, the agony of not being able to remember his friend's face, his mind being broken, hellish flames on his hand, falling from a great height, a knife against his windpipe, plastic fingers against his skin, dying, coming back wrong, darkness beyond everything hes ever known, dirt in his lungs, losing everyone hes ever loved, strings controlling his every move. He cant grieve for elias without grieving for himself. And he know, he knows, he Knows that none of it was ever elias' fault. Elias was just some poor stupid idiot who ended up in an evil place and had his life stolen by an evil man, just like jon. Jon knows elias never actually did anything to him, but he cant forgive him for the things done by his body. He wants to grieve, he tries to grieve, he does grieve. But he can never grieve properly for the man who was lost because he is inseparable from the man who took him.
1K notes
·
View notes
Ryuji having the worst bi crisis of his fucking life bc his mom just had to fucking ask “oh, whats this young ladys name?” when he showed her a picture of Akira petting Morgana. Like okay yeah Akira is like objectively pretty, hes like the Classic Delicate Pretty Boy just like Yusuke which is like whatever; straight dudes have eyes, and they know what women like to see. But now hes like. Seeing things he likes in girls IN Akira now and he cant make it Stop like its genuinely keeping him up at night 😭
Pretty boy used to be A Face that would come up in his mind when he thought of the term. There was no specifics in mind, just like. Pretty Boy. Pretty boy! You say that and theres like a Face Template that shows up in ur minds eye and hed just attribute that to any dude who was like Vaguely Pretty. But now its Akira 😭 and he finds himself cataloging things that Akira does that he KNOWS he finds cute when girls do it. The hairtuck behind the ears. The headtilt when he mishears a question. The Actually Pretty Doe Eyes. The breathy, nearly inaudible chuckle he does in place of a Real laugh (thats made better by the fact that its so hard to get him to laugh in the first place). He likes cute snacks. He blushes easily. Ryuji is sitting here like ‘theres no fucking way man. Like theres just no way. That shit makes NO sense (a lie)’ lying in bed in the middle of the night looking like this vvvv w his phone in his hands (looking at pictures of akira)
It drives him insane bc like he did Not see any of these things as like inherently girly or whatever. Like thats just akira thats just his bro! And he does OTHER weird shit that cancels all that shit out. Hes like a messy engineer/tinkerer, he rolls out of bed and whatever situation his hair is is everyones problem. He wears that AWFUL gym uniform and doesnt tweak it AT ALL?? He likes baseball?? hes got a whole binder of trading cards that he will show off if u show any moment of weakness. Like hes just Some Dude but also manages to be Some Girl at the same time and Ryuji is like thats not fair. Life sucked ass but at least it made sense before Akira stumbled into it 😭
911 notes
·
View notes
just a page of trying 2 figure out human loop. w/ design notes !! yippee !!! notes are also under the cut if illegible on the page
design notes
downturned eyes
loop's eyes push up vs siffrin's pulling down
loop's hair is partially still a star but is ultimately still the same shape as sif's.
different scar. bc different realities? idk.
longer hair in front
they are. magenta. to me.
something something not quite real
203 notes
·
View notes
mini comic based on @loveshaze's absolutely LOVELY fic merrily, merrily featuring my fav old men (and chronic pain rep that was so MWAH) ‼️ live laugh love tianjiu
[ID: scum villain fancomic of tianlang jun and shen jiu. there are five panels.
panel 1 & 2: tianlang jun looks at shen jiu, mouth slightly open. his right arm (from the viewer's pov) has fallen off at the shoulder. he has tanned skin, pointy ears, and gray streaks in his hair. shen jiu frowns as he looks back at him, holding a needle between his lips as he says, "your gaze is distracting." he has green eyeliner, gray streaks, and prosthetic hands modeled after porcelain.
panel 3: shen jiu stitches tianlang jun's arm back on with a golden thread. his hands shake in pain.
panel 4 & 5: a closeup of tianlang jun's hands starting to intertwine with shen jiu's as he says, "allow me to repay the favor." a red spiral circles their hands as tianlang jun transfers his energy to shen jiu to relieve his pain. they intertwine further as shen jiu answers, "no one asked you to."
end ID]
281 notes
·
View notes
Preston has a terrible stick and poke tat of the Minutemen coat of arms. You agree.
Bummer under the cut!
(He got it from a fellow Minuteman when he was about nineteen. It was right before General Becker died. The kid was one of the newer recruits in Hollis' regiment, and he swore up and down that he could "do lightning bolts real good." To his credit, he did! He was just shit at everything else. But it was good fun and most of the regiment got one. Preston recalls this as one of his happier memories before it all hit the fan. Everyone else involved in this memory is dead.)
409 notes
·
View notes