#if i fall through on this it's because i couldn't leave the blog theme and tagging system i had here behind goodbye

[glassrowboat]

(top reader anon) THANK GOD because I NEED to top Anaxagoras oh my god

I think his first time bottoming would start a bit shy and quiet. He'd just ask for fingers too, because he's not sure if he'll be able to take it, but then ends up getting progressively louder and needier, and having reader's eyes focused on him the entire time only make everything so much worse

Top reader anon XD Girl, you have to pick a type of boat to be named after on this blog. Stick to the THEME! But ya, we can play with Axolotl.

Warnings: NSFT, eye hole fucking, bottom Anaxa, spoilers for 3.1

The faintest hint of Anaxa's blush was painted blue with the light fading through the cracks of his nonexistent eye, face baren of his usual eyepatch after you had slipped it off with a single tug. The chain attached to it rattled as it hit the floor, only to be forgotten about right after when Anaxa had fallen back into your bed with an exaggerated huff. A roll of his eyes. A snarky retort you silenced with a kiss he eagerly accepted.

For a man who claims silence is golden, he always struggles to keep his own mouth shut when you're taking the lead. It's the very reason you had to pull him away from a stack of books piled just as tall as a herculean man. Their weathered covers had done nothing to hide you two away when he had been pressed against your leg, resisting the urge to grind down to no avail as he twitched against you every time your fingers teased the star embedded in his chest.

He had been willing to shuffle through the halls all the way back to your dorm, even if it meant leaving his research long forgotten all for the feeling of your hand cupping him - the weight of him alone tempting you to dig your nails in - but that would have to be for another time.

"How about we try something new?" You offered, already knowing that phrase alone would spark something not even the brightest of flames could outshine.

"And give you another reason to tease me?"

"Possibly."

Your hand cupped his chin, thumb tracing the outline of the source of light that flickered with every touch against his skin. Waning from azure, cobalt, and lastly, electric blue with his desire for you. He tried and failed to stifle down, just like always. His control over this newfound power inside of him never fully under his grasp, no matter how much Anaxa may be loathe to admit it.

You watched how the flames danced, even as he glared at you. One single eye full of a desire calling for you to do more as the other nonexistent as it may be.....

Licked at your fingers.

You could feel the heat of the golden eye pulling you in, entracing you in a way you're sure Cerces once did with her love, Mnestia. It was magnetizing. Tempting. And just as beautiful as Anaxa himself as he laid before you in nothing more than an undershirt and a pair of ruffled boxers he was straining against. Even from where you stood you could see how his pre cum was staining the fabric.

A heavy breath shook you, chest rising and falling before you dived in.

The gold seemed to welcome you, just as eagerly as Anaxa has in the past with his ass in the air and a bottle of lube tossed out on the bedsheets to be forgotten about all in the name of hearing more of his cries. He had begged for you then, voice getting louder and louder with each tease of his prostate, and he was doing the same again now with one knuckle slipping inside that blue light.

Your name always sounded the sweetest on his lips.

You couldn't even bring yourself to hush him as his one good eye rolled back, jaw hanging open at the new feeling you both were learning how to explore.

Maybe Cerces herself was even whispering in his ear, teasing Anaxa for liking this as much as he was. Given the scoff he'd let out on occasion, you could only imagine she was - Aiding you along in bringing him to new heights not even the grandest of scholars could hope to replicate.

After all, who is better to assist you than the one who had the Titan of romance herself entranced?

"She's talking to you, isn't she, Anaxa?"

"Don't- Don't call me that." He stuttered out, voice cracking between his saccharine moans.

"Don't protest, or I'll stop."

His hand came up to wrap around your wrist, lithe fingers, forcing your own in deeper. Another knuckle was swallowed away. The patch on his briefs grew bigger. The shape of him was obvious, well known from the times you've felt him in your mouth and cunt alike with Anaxa under you and willing to take all you supplied- only now it lay neglected as you warned him once again to play along.

His groan of "she is" was your reward.

"Tell me what she's saying. Please?"

His grip on you grew tighter, nails almost threatening to dig into your skin, but all they did was slide along the veins, leading to the crook of your arm like roots to the base of a tree. "She- she said it's possible to take..."

You hummed, trying to encourage him to pay attention to you long enough to get the words out. Finally, between a gasp of air, he managed to say, "All the way up to here."

"And do you want to try that?" You asked, not even fully expecting an answer when his cries kept getting louder and louder. Piercing you with his need to finally indulge him in only a way you know how. A scholar not of mind and logic, but his body.

Which is precisely why it filled you with delight, desire stirring in your own just when he nodded. "Gods, yes."

All you had to do from there was plunge right in, a thank you to the reason Titan on your tongue.

[buckys-little-belle]

Hey, saw you wanted head cannon requests so I am here to give some.

So a little who loves fall! Apples, leaves, smells, cider, halloween, bats, costumes, all of it! I love fall so so much, so I think fall headcanons would be so cute!

I personally like the marauders, but I know you don't write for them all the time, plus I also like others! (And I can't pick lol) so steve/bucky, to steve/eddie, to Marauders, I love them all so much and I love how you write them!

I personally am masc/enby so if your ok with writing the headcanons either masc or enby that'd be great, but if not, fem works, too.

I love your writing either way. Have a nice day! Or night!

-The small Rat Boi

Fall Fan

Marauders (Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter) x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns Used)

Warnings -

Notes -

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW!

. ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ .

The boys, especially Remus, love fall. It's pretty, and it's still nice enough outside to go for walks, but also cool enough that a cup of tea and it's steam helps warm a chilled nose.

The three of them loved it even more after they met you, a true Fall Fan. You loved every aspect of it, the apple orchard, the pumpkin patch, halloween, falling leaves, everything.

So the boys dive head first into fall now that you're stuck by their sides.

They 100% plan group halloween costumes! They'll buy everything they need from the thrift store, and they'll sew things/glue things if need be. You get to pick what the theme is, but you leave the adult stuff like hot glue, sewing needles, and the pain of having to somehow make retractable bat wings to them.

They definitely hand out buckets of candy to the others in the dorm, making sure you get to go trick or treating from room to room. Filling your pillow case with small snacks that are somehow all your favorite things ...

Remus is a amateur photographer, so when fall comes around he makes you, Sirius, and James all pose in different ways for his portfolio. He does his best to capture the movement right when you throw leaves in the air, and he tries his best to get the three of you to do some more serious poses.

James loves going apple picking, he did it as a kid and couldn't wait to take you. All four of you walk around from tree to tree picking different apples to take home, warm apple cider in your hands, well their hands, they won't let you hold the cup since it didn't come with a lid.

Sirius is the perfect companion to carve pumpkins with. He's good at art, and so every time you come up with some crazy idea for a carving he's already rolling up his sleeves and grabbing his sketch pad.

Walks through the castle grounds become your favorite thing. Kicking through leaf piles, or jumping in them. Finding pretty leaves to hang in your dorm room window. Fighting with James over who found the biggest leaf (it was you, but you said he won so he wouldn't be sad)

The boys definitely surprise you with little fall gifts here and there. A pair of black cat socks one day, a mug shaped like a pumpkin on a random Thursday, a bat stuffed animal another day. You cherish them with your whole heart, and jump up and down every time they say they have a surprise.

They take turns making up fall related bedtime stories, Sirius' are always sort of scary, James' are silly every time, and Remus' you swear should become a children's book writer because his are the most well rounded.

All in all fall with the boys is the best time of the year. It's action packed, and full of little adventures, and it's a season stuffed to the brim with fun activities.

[starb3rrys]

Hiiii! I literally I’m in love with your blog theme😭😭so so prettyyyy!

Well, i was thinking, hunting dogs x kdrama cliches :) which cliche do you think would have each member?

AGH!! Thank you so much for the compliment! (Pink is my favorite color o3o). To be honest, I have never watched a K-Drama in my life but I researched popular cliches just for you, Darling! I hope I did a good job.(￣▽￣)

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Hunting Dogs as K-Drama Cliches

Hunting Dogs x K-Drama Cliches

Crack?

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Tachihara

Tending to his wounds

It's no secret that Tachihara gets hurt a lot. From small cuts to full on gashes; Tachihara always has some new wound that needs some patching up, and that's where you step in. While you clean and bandage his wounds, Tachihara's eyes tend to always stay on you, he seems to love how protective and caring you are with him, often asking himself how you put up with his bullshit for so long. But those loving eyes of his won't save him from what's to come, because after patching up his wound-- comes the scolding. HE JUST SITS THERE WITH A POUT AS YOU LECTURE HIM ABOUT BEING WRECKLESS LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD-. Half the time he isn't even scared of the wound itself, he's scared about the scolding, lecture, and glare he is gonna get from you when he gets back home. But at the end of the day, some love and kisses are shared, you do love him after all.

Making heart signs

Something about Tachihara just screams--Silly peace and heart signs across the room. If you two are ever across the room from each other and you happen to glance at him; he will smile, point at himself, make a heart with his hands, then point at you! ("I love you" btw--if you didn't get it). If you get on the bus to go home for the day, he will 100% make heart signs outside of the window to let you know that he loves you and will miss you, as the bus drives away. To be honest, it's become a sort of cute habit, he often does it in pictures or just to see you smile. (I love him so much.)

Sharing a coat

If it's ever cold outside, his first instinct is to open up his coat, and pull you inside-- wrapping you both with the warm/comfy coat. He definitely uses the excuse "You just looked cold", in order to hug and hold you from behind. A bit off topic, but he is always so warm, his hugs are always tight and loving!

Jouno

Enemies to Lovers

The common "Enemies to lovers" troupe fits Jouno perfectly in my opinion. Let's be honest, he can be very annoying at times and there is a high chance you wouldn't get along. From shit talking, all the way to full blown arguments, there would always be a conflict present. Inevitably, as time passes by--that hatred turned into something more. You'd find your heart beating faster as Jouno walked by, and Jouno quickly caught on. What used to be petty insults, turned into playful teasing...and playful teasing turned into a shared kiss under the moonlight.

Bumping into each other

(Its literally his pass time to bump into random people/J). The first time you two met, you bumped into each other. The blow had caused you to fall onto the floor, pain filling your senses. When you looked up, you saw Jouno standing over you, you both felt a small sense of attraction towards each other...but unlike the K-Drama's, he did not help you up. He probably told you to "Watch where you're going", then proceeded to walk away. (He is so annoying. I love him sm).

Sleeping by his hospital bed until he recovers

Taking into account the monthly surgeries the hunting dogs have to go through, they are bound to be in a hospital bed for at least a few days. You'd often visit Jouno while he rested in his hospital bed, delicately holding his slim hands in yours, hoping he would recover soon. You couldn't bring yourself to leave his side, so you stayed on the sofa next to his bed, slowly falling asleep as your lover recovered.

Tecchou

Piggyback ride

Tecchou is such a sweet man, especially with you. "You're tired? Here...get on my back", easy fix. He will literally kneel down in-front of you so he can give you a piggyback ride. To be honest, he definitely got into that habit because of Teruko, since he often gives her piggyback rides, why not give you one?. He will carry you with such ease and make you feel like the lightest person in the world! "You sure I'm not heavy?", you asked worriedly as your hands were wrapped around his neck. "Of course not, you don't weigh a thing", he said calmly as he carried you around the park.

Arguing then confessing in the rain

I love Tecchou with dramatic cliches. A petty argument between you two had begun, it got so heated you literally walked out of the building during a rainstorm. Tecchou quickly chased after you, even though you two were arguing--he didn't want to risk you getting hurt, you were too important to him. His hand reached for your arm, ultimately grabbing your wrist. "Let go of me, Tecchou!", you protested as he pulled you closer to him. "I won't! I can't let you go!", Tecchou argued, refusing to let go. You glared at him, "Why not?! Why can't you ju-" "GODDAMMIT, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!", Tecchou yelled, cutting you off. Your froze, eyes widening as the water continued to pour on the two of you...what did he just say?...

The 360 degree camera revolving kissing scene

This one is following the previous cliche. After his confession, you both immediately moved closer and grabbed each others faces, your lips connecting in pure desperation. The 360 camera would definitely fit your needy kiss. The camera shows how the rain dripped down your wet clothes, his arm wrapped around your waist while his hand held the back of your head, not wanting to let go...

Fukuchi

Trimming his mustache

I just know his lil mustache needs regular maintenance, thankfully he has his lovely s/o to help him out. He happily sat on the toilet seat as you spread shaving cream on his face. He allowed you to move and tilt his head as you pleased. Fukuchi couldn't help but look at you with such love in his eyes while you trimmed his mustache. The focused look in your eyes, the way your eyebrows scrunched together in an attempt to be as accurate as possible was absolutely adorable to him.

Flashbacks

The iconic "Flashbacks to random events" cliche fits Fukuchi in my opinion. He often finds himself looking at you and having flashbacks to moments between you two; when you first met, your first kiss, your first embrace, those memories fill him with pure joy. The flashbacks themselves are probably more dramatic in his head than they actually were. Unfortunately, his little flashback sessions often distract him from his present work, so you often need to snap him out of his own thoughts.

Hangover Cures

This man gets blackout drunk. He literally peed on the agency's banner when drunk-. So it's no surprise that you have to take care of his horrible hangover the next day. Cue the montage of you running around the house like a maid taking care of him. From bringing his drowsy state some water, to helping him throw up all of the alcohol he consumed, you do your best to take care of him in his hungover state. In addition, he is definitely clingy when he's both drunk and/or hung over, so expect a lot of needy requests. (Please god, save the reader.) He will make sure to express his gratefulness for you with a bouquet of flowers and a nice dinner...before getting blackout drunk again-.

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I decided to add multiple cliches--rather than just one--that would match the hunting dogs since there were so many to choose from! This was one of the funnest requests to research (Really had me over here giggling and writing notes). I hope I did a good job researching!! Love ya!:)

[deblklesb]

[Phantoms of Past — Abby x Reader]

[AFAB!reader, friends to lovers, Christmas themed, br!reader, angsty, MDNI]

a/n: well, is this late for Christmas? yes. but do i care? also yes bc i'm paranoid and have some need to make stuff on time, so imagine my despair when i couldn't finish this. but i ALSO know that I'm doing my best, and for that i have to pat my own back. anyway, this is for my brazilian besties out there!!!

cw: reader is brazilian, usage of phrases in pt-br with the translation after and between parenthesis, owen mentioned (this man is a cw by himself idc this is not a owen appreciated blog), mutual pinning, Abby understands portuguese and even talks some. let me know if i forgot something.

not proof read | word count: 3,274

reblogs are highly appreciated!!

While you drive through the recently cleaned streets of the neighborhood you grew up, thanking the heavens that it stopped snowing for now, the radio plays a seasonal song and your murmur along. The traffic on the main roads were chaotic, almost as congested as your uncle's arteries, but now the decorated rooftops and doorsteps replaced the headlights on your peripheral vision. In front of a house stood a snowman, or at least his body stripped of arms and face.

You park in front of a house with simple adornments and flashers around the main door, a LED deer standing next to it and a small table with fake cookies and milk on top. All the energy was so reminiscent of the years you'd spend a whole day decorating the house with your mom, mainly inside, just so your father and sister could take care of the outside. Now that you both were grown and away, the couple occupied itself with the house interior and resumed the exterior with a simple approach. It never failed to take a smile from you, though, especially seeing the way they would adhere to simple things just because it looked cute, even if it had nothing to do with their native traditions.

Coming from Brasil, for the first part of your life you had hot weather and sunny days on Christmas. Maybe a night of rain, but never snow. Fireworks and catholic mass were on the list, but your parents went just to go along with the rest of the family and friends. They weren't religious, so in the end Christmas was simply another holiday, but with presents and - as all the other holidays - a family gathering. The main difference now was that you were studying in another city, becoming one of the absent relatives; you know, the ones that mainly go home for the holidays and vacations. It wasn't bad, but they definitely missed you a lot and the feeling was mutual.

Using your key to get in, the sounds of Simone’s “Então É Natal” (“And So It Is Christmas”), a brazilian holiday song, hit you immediately. You chuckle, taking off your boots and coats. From the front corridor the ornamented tree is visible, carrying innumerous lights and details. There's probably not a single empty wall, the seasonal decoration filling every inch of your field of vision.

“There she is!” Your father shouts as you appear in the living room smiling. The man goes into your direction with open arms, holding you tight. You smell that same cologne he wears since you can remember anything, and along with the warmth of the house, it truly feels like home. Some of the tension from university and work just falls on the carpet, leaving your body to receive all the good things inside that place.

“Carlos, you'll smash our child and I cannot have another one”, your mom yells somewhere from the kitchen direction, making you laugh.

“I can get another one anywhere, Marília”, he finally lets go, an arm around your shoulders. “Won't be as nice as this one, though”

“Of course not, she's irreplaceable”, your cousin Felipe says, approaching. “Prima, você tem feito falta!” (“Cousin, you have been missed!”) He holds you sideways with an insane amount of exaggeration, taking an embarrassed chuckle from you. Felipe was a lawyer with a lot of charisma, but inside he was just your cousin that your mom liked a lot. You both used to play together growing up. “From some people, a little too much”, he whispers playfully before running away, not letting you scold him for bringing up something you were not prepared to deal with this earlier, especially when the person implied wasn't even around. Yet.

Your father doesn't seem to notice, now talking with your mom again.

“Hey, Alice”, you wave to Felipe’s wife sitting on the couch, drinking something on a Christmas themed mug.

“Hey, sweetie! How's uni?”

“Tiring”, you shrug. “How about the kids?”

Your name is once again shouted through the house, and as you turn around three kids are running into you. Camila, Jorge e Rayana hold your waist, almost making you fall with a laugh. Camila is the oldest, at five years old, but the others are at the age of three. They're simply the most precious people in that family.

“Meus pestinhas!” (“My little brats!”) You start messing their hairs and pinching their ears playfully.

“Eu perdi um dente, olha!” (“I lost a tooth, look!”) Camila smiles widely, showing the first little window on her mouth.

“Ela tá ficando banguela e feia” (“She's getting toothless and ugly”) Jorge points out, and by Camila's reaction this isn't a new saying.

“Well, that's too bad. Because you'll get toothless and ugly too, just wait a few years”, Rayana and Camila laugh as the boy pouts at your response, looking at their mom.

“Vamo, vamo, abram espaço. Preciso abraçar minha filha” (Come on, come on, clear the way. I need to hug my daughter) Your mom’s voice finally reached the living room before her arms were wrapped around your torso. It's warm and familiar, you've missed her so much.

“Oi, mãe” (“Hey, mom”)

“Você tá tão magrinha, filha. Aposto que não anda comendo direito na correria, né?” (“You're so skinny, child. I bet you haven't been eating well in all the rush, right?”) The caressing she does on your back is reassuring, and by that you can tell you're going back with bowls filled with food. “Sua irmã vai chegar só mais tarde, seu pai vai buscar ela na estação” (“Your sister will arrive just later, your father will pick her up on the station”)

“When will uncle Jerry get here? He said he would get me new crayons”, Rayana mumbles while playing with one of the numerous ornaments on the lit up tree.

You try not to react to what that phrase implies, going with your mom to the kitchen to busy your hands and your mind with something else. She would probably kick you out of there soon anyway, she never liked having other people in the kitchen with her unless very necessary. But the need to act normal, smile and not think about family friends coming over it's bigger than the prospect of being scolded out of a room.

While the conversation continues in the living room and the song plays to never leave an empty place in your audition, you hover around the place talking with your mom about the neighborhood news and her routines in the morning walks group. It's comforting to know about what's going on, even if it doesn't really affect your life.

You help her cut the bread to make rabanadas (french toasts), looking forward to finally eating them. It's one of your favorite things of this season, even though you could actually find it anywhere at any time of the year. But the memories of having a plate of those on the supper table, covered in sugar and cinnamon, it's one of your favorites. So you're dividing your attention between the chore of slicing the bread and listening to your mom speaking, when a name being yelled in the living room catches your ear and you almost cut the tip of your thumb.

It's Jorge’s voice. “Abby!”

It's a blessing your mom didn't notice it, but now you have a bigger motive to stay inside the kitchen and never leave it.

No matter how much your mother talked, or the music filled the air, or the people in the other room got into different conversations within the group; her voice seemed louder than any other thing to you. You would swear she was next to the table you had the cutting board on, chatting with the children and playing with them.

You could swear you could listen to her whispering to you about lonely nights and missing pieces of a puzzle.

“Tia!” (“Auntie!”)

Your mom stops speaking just to turn around and look into the tall woman's direction. “Abigail!” Her comforting, mothering arms hold the strong torso, and the blonde needs to be in a not very straight posture to fully embrace your mom. What could you say, hightness wasn't in your family's genes.

“One of these days you'll be able to carry me around, with how big and strong you're getting!” And they both laugh as if Abby didn't live at the end of the block and they saw each other constantly.

All the while, you're trying to avoid the upcoming, inevitable moment. Your eyes glue on the bread, but you're not really looking at it. They're talking but you can't decipher the words, just assimilate the sweet voice making your cells tremble in vibrations. Cutting another piece, and another, then another, then-

“Puta que pariu-” (“Motherfucker-”), a drop of blood falls onto the cutting board when you pull your hand away, thumb red and hurting.

“What happened?” Your mom asks, concern in her voice.

“I cut my finger”, the running water of the sink makes the wound sting when you put the finger under it, the blood keeps coming out.

“I can take care of that if you need to”, Abby says, making you look directly at her for the first time of the night.

And you have to give the lack of air to the pain. You have to, because otherwise you would be admitting that looking at her takes your breath away.

“Yeah, Abby is working as a nurse in a school now. I bet she's used to this type of thing”, Marília goes to the cutting board, taking the pieces you've cut already.

There's nowhere to run over this. What will you say, that you don't want her to take care of your wound? That you can't be next to her, orelse all the coherent thoughts in your mind will fade away, leaving room for her voice? That your fingers ache to touch her?

You look to your still bleeding finger under the open faucet, then to the tall, blonde woman again. And while your mother wasn't looking, you both had a silent conversation about something, everything. She could see the doubt in your eyes, but you could see the pleads in hers.

“Sure, I think it wouldn't be much…” You try to smile, finally turning the faucet off and grabbing a towel to wrapp around your finger.

You both go upstairs, she tells you how there was a first aid kit in the bathroom and your stomach jumps at the realization that she knew your house more than yourself probably. Looking forward at all times and trying not to pay too much attention to her careful hand touching your arm like she was guiding you around the place.

“Go to your room, I’ll take the kit”, and you don’t even look at her to see how she was looking at you. You don’t know how that hurt her, mainly because you’re trying to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

The room is just like you always leave it after the breaks, bed neatly covered and books on the shelves. Some stuffed animals that you couldn’t bear to donate were aligned on a shelf next to a poster of a band you liked, the black and red contrasting with the creamy colors of a small giraffe. You saw the table where once you were pressed against, the lamp giving a soft light on the room as you felt a pair of lips so close to yours after all those years of yearning and silent pining.

“Okay, let’s give this a look” she was back using that voice, the one for the workplace. Tender, but firm; like she was trying to be secure, but reassuring.

Abby pulled the chair next to the table so she could sit in front of you, her knees together between your separated legs as she carefully took your hand and unwrapped the towel. Crimson drops started to flow down your finger, and the blonde woman never took the blue eyes away from the cut.

The distance wasn’t enough. Her scent would haunt the bedroom all night, making you dream about her just like it happened before, during your late school years, when she came to spend the day and left you numb and daydreaming. Her touches were so gentle, featherlight.

���It wasn't that bad, we can handle it”, she muttered like she was talking to one of the students from the school she worked at. “So, how's college?”

“It's okay, I guess”, with eyes glued on your own hand, you tried not to notice her thighs too much. “I've been working my ass off to write a paper while keeping up with classes and the monitoring thing”

“You'll get this, I'm sure”, you looked up just in time to see a smirk on her lips, but then returned to look down again before being trapped on that hypnotizing expression. “After all, you've always been very good with your words”

“It was easier in school, though”

“It always is”, she cuts the bandage before wrapping your finger with it. “But that's the thing, right? We start to realize how school was maybe easier, but then again, would you rather be back?”

“Oh, fuck no”, you chuckle as she finishes the curative. “I wouldn't change this for that”

“Yeah”, you finally look up more confident, meeting her indescribable expression. “I would change some things, actually”

“Like what?” You're just keeping the conversation, just trying to let it flow well enough for it to be bearable. You surely weren't expecting the next phrase.

“I wouldn't have dated Owen”, she sighs.

Owen was Abby's boyfriend. They started dating in the last year of school, and looked very much in love, for your displeasing. He wasn't a bad guy per se, but the fact that you already had a crush on Abby made you think that your feelings towards him were totally based on jealousy. So every single thing you had to say about him would be shoved down your throat immediately, and you'd just smile and nod to your friend anytime she mentioned him. You told her he was nice - couldn't bring yourself to say more than that - and supported their relationship with the most painful role in that whole story: the best friend with an unrequited crush.

By fall you found out she and Owen had broken up. Right after…

“Why is that?” Her eyes wander from the quilt to your hands, then back to your face. They were so beautiful, you could spend the rest of the night admiring them. Or the way her hair would fall around her face with soft lines, how her freckles were so attractive to the touch, especially on her arms.

“Don't think I was really into him… At least not in the right way”, Abby was the one not looking at you now, almost more interested in putting the stuff back on the kit box. “I could've been honest with him… And with you”

“Abby-”

“That's fine…” She shrugged. “He was a little bit of a dumbass anyway”

Silence falls around you both, filling the room with an emptiness.

The image of them both in your living room, last Christmas, haunts your mind as soon as you remember how you knew nothing and was too caught up in your own thoughts at the time. The way she laughed at his jokes, making your stomach turn as you smiled politely. Or how you saw them kissing next to the coat holder by the front door, and all the food you ate wanted to come back in awful bitterness.

You never told anyone. Never said a word, as always, rather keeping the green feeling on the back of your mind in order to not do something stupid - like being rude or start crying.

But then, you came home for the summer break. You dad was making barbecues in the backyard, you mom decorated the house with all the stuff your cousin brought from Brasil on his last trip, and you'd listen to pagode in the living room while the kids were playing and running, waiting for the meat to be properly roasted so they could finally eat.

Internally, you were ready to deal with that same gut-rotting feeling all over again. The plan was to sustain the fake expression until the time allowed you to pull the tiredness card on everyone and go to your room to watch some old telenovela.

Abby showed up alone, greeting everyone as usual. And when she looked at you, you could swear that was something in her eyes that could make you shiver. How she took your figure in before hugging you, how she held you so tight and for a little bit longer. How she was always trying to be next to you. You couldn't decipher, though, and the whole day went by mixing the confusion of her being without Owen and not even mentioning his name, and the rush of being that close to her again.

That night, in your room, she kissed you. Right there, where you were sitting now, she held your face between your hands and your skin shivered, while her lips touched yours.

You waited for years. Kissing her was probably one of the only things you wanted to do every time she was around, flesh craving hers. And it finally happened… But she had a boyfriend.

So you never talked about it again. You went back to college and texted her less and less.

“Abby, Abby, Abby!” A childish voice came from the corridor, the door opened to show Rayana. “Come here, I need your help to defeat Jorge and papai” (dad)

“Okay, I'll be there in a second!” The blonde smiled before the girl ran back downstairs. “Well, it seems like a have a duty”

“Can't let her down, she'll never forgive you”, you both chuckled while she got out of the room, first to leave the kit back in the bathroom and then to go to the living room again.

Sighing, you laid back on the mattress. Just like that summer night, you were alone in your room trying to collect your feelings about an interaction with Abby. Heart beating fast and a familiar warmth on your chest, wanting to curse every single entity for putting you in this position.

You came down maybe 15 minutes later, mask back on to decorate your face with a smile. You saw the tall woman on the mat with the younger children on top of her, attacking her while laughs filled the place.

“Okay, okay, saiam de cima da Abigail” (“Get off of Abigail”) Your mom didn't have to say it twice before they were sitting next to her. “Abigail, I need a favor. Remember that bowl I lent to you last week?”

“Sure”, her arms seemed stronger now that she was supporting herself on the elbows. Why was she so gorgeous?

“I need you to get it for me, darling”

“Okay, I got it”, Abby got up and immediately went grabbing her coat again.

And you were about to go back to the kitchen to make yourself useful, but it couldn't be that easy.

“Filha, vai com ela. Está nevando bastante, não é bom dirigir sozinha nesse tempo” (“Daughter, go with her. It's snowing a lot, it isn't good to drive alone in the weather”)

“Oh, it's not necessary-” She really tried, but your mom wouldn't take a negative answer.

“I'm not asking, you won't go alone!”

You nod and start putting on heavy clothes. It was okay, all good. You both would get in the house, grab the bowl, and get back in no time. It would be fine.

[dividers by @cafekitsune]

[adultswim2021]

The Venture Bros. #51: “Pomp & Circuitry” | September 19, 2010 - 11:30PM | S04E10

Hank and Dean graduate from their learning beds, prompting Rusty to usher Dean into his former alma mater, State. It’s the college every character went to, as reiterated in the previous episode when Pete White and Monarch have the fun little conversation about college radio. Hank has no hopes for a college career, so he tries to join Sphinx, giving him his buzzcut back. He also stops wearing Brock’s jacket at this point, which is pointed out in the commentary track.

Meanwhile, Phantom Limb gets his limbs back, which can apparently move on their own accord. He uses his limbs to escape imprisonment and teams up with Richard Impossible, convincing him to become a villain. Here he’s voiced by Bill Hader, his fourth voice (Jackson Public’s brother voiced him in the pilot, Stephen Colbert in the first couple seasons, and then Jackson himself in season three). He’s such a good fit, he rivals Colbert as the canonical Impossible. This culminates in Impossible attacking the school while the Ventures are there. I forget why he does it. I guess we should all go reread the wiki. 

This one’s about small pleasures. Lotta good scenes and a sense of world-building. I love the mundane college stuff. I love seeing Brisbee again, with the Silent Partners behind him. I loved the little shot of the proteens, who look more like uneasy interns than henchmen. The montage of Hank being tested for Sphinx is fun.

The only thing I disliked was the fact that Phantom Limb’s motivation for doing whatever it is he’s doing just never properly entered my brain. And the final confrontation wasn't that cool-looking; just a lotta lasers being shot around. It doesn’t even matter; it was just was a bare minimum plot to assemble a new villain team (Baron Underbheit is teased to also join them after briefly seeing him outside, homeless). 

The DVD/blu-ray has deleted scenes with various trims here and there. The most substantial cut is a scene showing what happened to Rusty and Dean after the explosions at the school and stuff. The Go Team Venture book has Jackson calling this one of the worst episodes of the season, which is pretty good IMO. Seasons 1, 2, & 3 have much worse ones hanging off them. 

MAIL BAG:

I haven't been updating the blog because, and I'm sorry, but it's been really nice out and I'm simply having a blast going on walks and stuff. I walked through a park the other day. It was simply wonderful. Almost as good as cartoons

Justin Rose is leading the Masters field in round with a 7 under par and you will leave SMELLING like a rose if you continue to update this great blog.

Cool glad you like whatever gay sport you are talking about, I'm walking through parks and looking at girls, shithead. Wait, I think this was a compliment. Thanks

Howie Does It was really one of the worst shows of all time. His pranks are dogshit and he spends at least a quarter of the runtime letting his house drummer DJ Ravi Drums do solos. Like what is this? A Fred Armisen show?

I heard someone in the biz call him a "Hollywood Whore" and I couldn't agree whore

If tea is what he wants than T is what he'll get.

Now THIS is the kinda stuff that t's me off lol

Your movie theater idea is great. Everyone I know who worked at one ever was a complete dumbass so they could make themselves more useful.

Actually I think guys who worked at movie theaters were cool and only some of them were racist

Jon He Does It begs the question: Have you ever fell fool of a prank?

NOT FALLING FOR THIS

No lie this Jon He Does It theme is what got me into hip hop. Looked up the song it was parodying and just kind of went from there.

Great! :) Have fun :)

Wow, missed out on a lot of blog posts. Some comments: -I'm pretty sure "Mother-to-be sa" was cut because of all the abortion, S&P was kinda squirrely about it. They were going to air it again in 2017 but pussed out at the last second. -From what I heard form a lot of people (incl. industry people), dino is an abrasive drunk, sexual harassment, the works. On his podcast he fired his assistant, and secretly recorded it as an episode to post online to humiliate him further. Just dickhead behavior

Dino likes it when girls do karate on him which is very suspicious to me. I don't know, he said nice stuff to me once so how could I resist!!! DINO, I mean!!

-Brett Gelman is also a complete schizo and him quitting was a bullet dodged. Even Jason demarco, who's like the first thing I think of when I think "guy who pretends to be woke to get into girl's pants", called him a guy who's been waiting forever to have an excuse to call himself a victim. -The George Lowe bump was actually the fastest they've ever made a death tribute, it took them a few days to get around to Croker's death. Did a bunch of stuff online, marathons, and on their site too.

Gelman's brain turning to mush is genuinely disappointing to me. I feel like a lotta people hated him for fairly shallow reasons and I always saw fit to appreciate him. Nowadays he's a haunted house. He even has to dress like a huge tool so he can feel extra oppressed. One of the dumbest mother fuckers going now. I'm probably going to have to take a more hands-off approach to Eagleheart and the Dinner specials when they roll around.

-I know next to nothing about live action around this period other than I'm generally not a fan. Delocated was decent i guess, haven't gotten around to CH yet but if it's anything like NTSF (which felt like a mediocre early 2010s youtube comedy skit but with a higher budget) it seems like something that will annoy me. -Venture Bros S4B is arguably where the show is strongest. Hope you enjoy it!

Definitely looking forward to revisiting Operation P.R.O.M., which is one of my favorite episodes of anything ever. I think season 5 is my most-hazy season as far as remembering it goes. I rewatched 6 & 7 to prepare for the movie, but I don't remember when the last time I saw 5 was.

[midnighmoonligh]

hello hello! I just recently found your blog and I have learned so much from it! I was wondering if you could do another Voltron story w Keith and Lance, but their roles reversed? Could you also do different backgrounds? As in, Lance in your last story had been a caregiver before, I don’t want Keith to have the same story, y’know what I mean?

you don’t have to do any of this ofc! It’s just a request! Otherwise, I love all your stories and I appreciate what you’ve done to make other people aware.

A/N

Hope I somewhat hit the mark! Took forever to figure out what you meant then I didn't really have any ideas until suddenly I did and now I have too many. I'll think about doing a part two but for now here you go! 💞💞

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

Fandom

Voltron

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

Characters

Lance ;; 18 ;; He/Him ;; Little

Keith ;; 20 ;; He/They ;; CG

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

⚠Content Warnings⚠

Violence, War stuff, General Voltron themes.

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

" Shiro I don't know what you're on about today with bringing this up suddenly, " Keith huffed as he shut down the training bot. His sword remained tight in his hand, breaths uneven from the exercise.

Just behind him, Shiro was leaned against the wall by the doors. His arms were crossed calmly over his chest. A long sigh left him.

" I guess, I just... have been thinking about it a lot recently, " Shiro told him truthfully. " I mean, I know you have always wanted to be a caregiver.. " he trailed off.

Keith gave a short nod. The day that both of them found out they were caregivers was awkward as hell in Itself, but it also gave them something to bond over. The sword in his hand retracted as he turned on his heels and walked toward his oldest friend.

" Just spit it out. What are you thinking? " he spoke harshly, visibly disliking the drag on the conversation.

" What if a little is on our team? Or several? What if we find one out there-"

" Shiro that's really unlikely, " Keith cut Shiro off without hesitation. He ran his fingers through his hair, more intending to get the sweat from his face than anything. " Besides what would you do if you found one out there, " he huffed.

" It's not like the team would suddenly agree to bring a random alien on ship just because you pleaded with them, " he rolled his eyes. However, he paused after. His expression turned into a saddened one, rather than annoyed. " Not after everything we've been through. "

" I know, you're right, " Shiro sighed and pushed himself off the wall. " I'm done now, I guess that just scratched my itch to talk about it, " the older shrugged off before tossing an arm across the youngers shoulders.

" I'm starving and you smell, so let's go, " he smiled down at him.

" Whatever, " Keith grumbled.

***

Keith couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't believe what was right in front of him. This had to be a joke. He knew the fight they had just barely survived was a lot, but really?

How did Shiro know?

God he is NEVER telling him he was right. He'd never live that down. Just after an attack from the Galra occured, everyone had thought they made it out okay. Besides soreness and bruises from being tossed around. Getting back and removing their gear, Lance seemed to hang by. He seemed off, from dropping things to generally seeming to lack in motor skills. This set off Keith's caregivering instinct, but he decided to ignore it.

As usual, Keith waited until the room was empty before removing his gear. He hadn't realized Lance decided to do the same this time. Which was strange. Usually, he was messy scrambling out of it and one of the first people to leave. When he had finished and turned around, he found Lance in tears. Lance. Crying.

It made his heart sink. Sure they fought constantly and he always was getting on his nerves, but something about their most optimistic team member crying genuinely scared him. He watched for a moment, hot tears falling from Lance's eyes while his gloved hands failed to get a grip on the armor enough to remove it. Carefully, as if approaching a scared animal, Keith inched towards Lance.

" Do you want some help? " he asked, quietly and gently.

Despite his efforts, he still startled him. Lance jumped, head shooting up to stare at him. His eyes were wide, like a deer caught in headlights. His lip trembled, absolutely breaking his heart.

" I just want to help, not to fight if anything, " he reassured.

" Please, " the word, slightly slurred, stumbled out of Lance.

With a short nod, Keith carefully helped Lance out of the armor. Once it was removed, damage under it could be seen. Sometimes, it dug into the wrong places despite fitting to their body types. Taking the wrong blow could cause it to cut in or heavily bruise spots. Lance seemed to have taken too many of these wrong blows.

Keith helped all the way until he was dressed. Then he stepped back. He didn't know what to do, it was making him nervous. Of course he didn't want to assume Lance was regressing or anything, nor force the very idea onto him. He swallowed thickly. Before he got the courage to speak, Lance got it first.

" Can I hug you? " he'd whisper.

The request surprised him. Lance didn't even look at him, rather, the floor looked much more interesting to the younger paladin. Taking a deep breath, Keith loosely wrapped his arms around the taller. He pulled his head against him, where it landed just under his chest since he was sitting on the bench still.

" I know I'm not the best at comfort and all that, but are you okay? " Keith mustered up the courage to ask.

Arms slowly wrapped around him. Soon, hands gripped his jacket while a short sobbed escaped Lance. Keith held him a bit tighter. His chest ached, but he knew this was all he could do for now. He gently ran his fingers through his hair, adjusting a bit to be craddling his head better. It seemed to help, since after ten minutes of straight messy crying Lance had calmed.

" Sorry, " Lance tried to pull away.

Keith only pulled him back, not letting him go just yet. He didn't fight back either just accepted it and buried his face back into his stomach.

" Don't be, " Keith huffed, " I get it. "

" It hurts, " he whined quietly, accidentally cutting off his neee somewhat friend.

" I know, " he sighed sadly, running his fingers back through his hair. " We should get you to bed little fawn. "

This visibly startled Lance. He pushed back from Keith, gently pressing his forearms against his stomach to do so. He got free easily, as a result. His eyes wide as he stared up to him. He looked scared, anxious, all of it really. There was too many negative emotions for Keith to entirely pick up.

" You-"

" Don't judge, " Keith cut him off swiftly. " And accept who you are. There's nothing wrong with you, your mind just doesn't know what to do, " he told him gently. He reached a hand out and ruffled his hair. Then be turned to grab Lance's shoes.

" You know what's happening to me? " Lance asked, stumbling over his words. " You know at all? " he hiccuped.

The sound made Keith worry. He grabbed the worn out tennis shoes then quickly returned. He kneeled down in front of him to help him put them on. Even tying them for him, knowing very well how little it'd make Lance feel.

" I do. It's called age regression, and it's just a coping mechanism. Loads of people do it for various reasons. Some have caregivers and some don't. Me and Shiro are caregivers, if that isn't obvious. "

" You? " Lance questioned with a small giggle, lifting an arm up to wipe his face with his sleeve.

" Come on, don't give me that " Keith rolled his eyes with a huff. Using the bench, he helped himself up. The soreness was definitely getting to him too. " There's loads of things you don't know about me, " he teased with a playful smile.

" Now come on, let's get you laying down at least. "

Lance nodded, offering a hand to Keith who quickly took it. The tired and bruised little pulled himself up with a wince. They walked out of the, sort of, locker room then headed towards where the bedrooms were at. They walked very slow, more because any faster and Lance kept tripping. He held Keith's hand the entire time they walked to his bedroom. When they reached Lance's room, they quickly got him inside and straight to bed.

Keith removed his shoes, helping him get comfortable and even going as far as to tuck him into bed. He sat by him on the bed, just gently petting his hair.

" Why fawn? " Lance asked quietly, slightly fumbling the word.

" You look like a deer when you're surprised, " Keith chuckled with a rare smile. It made Lance smile at him.

" Okay, " he accepted the answer with a small nod.

Then he moved to lay on his side, well, the one that didn't hurt too bad anyways. Keith remained there, quietly humming while tracing circles on his back instead of playing with his hair. It reminded Lance of his mom, his family. As he began to doze off, getting the much needed sleep, he sucked on his thumb without even thinking about it. The exhaustion completely crashed into him now that he was laying down. He accepted it with ease, allowing Keith's humming to guide him through his dreams.

[xechu]

[Devour] Chapter 2: Yearning

Pairing: Ryomen Sukuna x fem!reader

Word count: 4.5K

Warnings: please read my blog's rules before interacting. 18+ mdni, angst, eventual smut, hurt/no comfort, explicit sexual content, undertones of misogyny (because the 'olden days'), mature themes, depiction of gore and violence, mentions of pregnancy and abortion. Please note that these warnings pertain to the entire series as a whole, and not just to this specific chapter.

Tags: mini series, angst, smut, Heian Era, true form Sukuna

Summary: Sukuna brings you back to a temple, where he resides. There you also meet Uraume. You begin to doubt if running away was the best idea, but then, Sukuna offers to be your ally. Unbeknownst to you, he has his own ulterior motives for helping you.

A/N: It's here! Not going to lie, I struggled a bit with this chapter. Since this is a mini series, I would say we're already about 35% through the story, things will progress quickly in the upcoming chapters. Based on my planning, I'm looking at about four more chapters. I don't have an exact release date for Chapter 3 like I did with this chapter, but I'll post an update when it's almost complete! If you would like to be added on the tag list for this series, please let me know/leave a comment here. Thank you so much for reading and stay tuned. x

Masterlist: < Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 >

Sukuna had always deemed love meaningless. It was a feeling that held people back, making them irrational and reckless. Over the years, he had witnessed the greatest kingdoms burn and the strongest men fall, all in the name of 'love.' But the tragedy lay in the fact that, after all was said and done, that love seldom lasted. At the end of the day, people were weak and fickle, rendering love volatile. He often wanted to ask those who sacrificed everything for love: Was it all worth it in the end?

In order to attain his height of power—to become the strongest—Sukuna had given up everything, including his humanity. He had mastered the art of detachment, for attachments only served to tie one down. Letting go of all things was the inevitable cost of power, but it was an easy and insignificant sacrifice for someone like him—who had nothing to lose in the first place.

Yet, despite the King of Curses' strong convictions, there remained one glaring contradiction in his life: you. No matter how hard he tried, he could not detach himself from you. Even after all these years, his burning desire for you was a flame he could not quell, and it only seemed to grow hungrier with time.

Throughout the years, Sukuna had conditioned himself into believing that you were always going to be an unattainable dream—a fantasy that was never meant to become reality. It was better that it remained this way. You deserved to live a peaceful life, and he could continue to live out his days as the King of Curses without restraint.

But what should he do—now that his dream had become reality?

For someone with a wretched life like his, he never believed in any gods. But for the first time in his life, the King of Curses acknowledged that this reunion must have been the universe's divine will—a preordained fate. It seemed that the two of you were destined to be together.

Yes, he thought to himself, since the universe has willed it, then you shall be his exception.

He vowed that as long as he kept you by his side, you would not be a source of his weakness.

At this realization, a dark possessiveness took over him.

This time he would stake his claim.

---

Though you were no longer the little girl Sukuna had once met, he couldn't help but notice how small you were under his hold. Some things didn't change; you were still his little flower.

“It’s me, flower,” he said, urgency creeping into his voice as if he were calling into your subconscious, imploring you to remember.

You trembled in his embrace; the adrenaline coursing through you made it difficult to think straight. His words did not register as you struggled to gather your chaotic thoughts, while your mind screamed at you to run.

You remind me of flowers. The voice suddenly echoed in your mind.

“R-Ryo?” you gasped, finally making the connection.

With shaking hands, you roamed his figure, seeking confirmation in the darkness. Your fingertips softly brushed over his features. Was this a dream? Had you already died? How was it that after all these years, he was finally here—especially in your most dire moment? The surrealness of this situation felt too good to be true.

“I-It really is you,” your voice quivered with emotion. “I-I can't believe it. All this time... I thought I would never see you again."

“I'm here now, flower,” he said, capturing your hand in his. “Come with me; it’s not safe.”

Before you could utter another word, he effortlessly scooped you up, and you instinctively held on to him, tightening your grip, afraid that if you let go he would slip away again.

Sukuna traversed the forest at an inhuman speed. He seemed to know the terrain well, navigating it with ease, but for you, all you saw was unending darkness; the gust of wind threading through your hair was the only sign that you were moving. Your heart raced as he cradled you against his strong body; you could feel the heat radiating from him, evoking a warm and familiar feeling within you—a feeling that you have yearned for so many years.

Moments later, you found yourself in a clearing. Under the clear night sky, vast greenery and towering mountains loomed around you. At the foot of one mountain, a grand tree stood beside an ancient temple. Sukuna gently set you on your feet, and now that you were out in the clearing, you could get a better look at him. Standing before you was no longer the little boy from your memories; he had transformed into a formidable man—perhaps the largest person you had ever seen. He wore an oversized kimono, his bare chest exposed, and his muscular build attested to the life he had lived throughout the years. Your gaze was then drawn to the unmistakable bloodstains on his clothing.

“Are you hurt?” your brows furrowed in concern as your hand ghosted over the stains.

“Nothing worth fretting over; they do not belong to me,” he said, a smile involuntarily curving his lips at the concern you displayed.

Sukuna lifted your chin to meet his gaze. In the moonlight, he could see you with much more clarity.

“Beautiful,” he murmured, a hint of longing evident in his eyes.

Heat rushed to your face at his touch, but you were grateful that the night concealed it.

“How did you know to find me?" you quietly asked.

“The forest and the mountain are my domain,” Sukuna replied, brushing his thumb over your lower lip, as if he was trying to engrave your features into his memory. “You were lucky I found you before something else did.”

Something in your gut told you it couldn't have been mere coincidence, but you decided to keep that thought to yourself. It wasn't the time nor the place for interrogations.

"I see," you smiled wearily. "Thank you... you saved me yet again."

Your words stirred a nostalgic memory within him.

As you continued to stand there in silence, the brave facade you had been putting up began to crumble. All the events that had led you to this moment settled within you, and the feelings you had long suppressed surged to the surface—grief, resentment, confusion, fear, relief, yearning—a tempest you could no longer keep at bay.

“All these years, I’ve been searching for you,” your voice cracked, tears brimming in your eyes.

"I know," he replied, his tone low and hushed.

“Y-You did?"

Sukuna nodded.

"Then why, Ryo? Did you not want to see me?” Your chest tightened at his admission, and tears began to roll down your face.

“It was for the best.” Sukuna's jaw clenched. The sight of you crying evoked a sense of dread within him.

“The best for who?”

A brief silence hung in the air, heavy with unspoken words.

“That no longer matters, flower. We're here now, and I won't let you go again,” he said, gently wiping a stray tear from your face.

You knew he was hiding something from you, but that mattered little right now. Your body reacted before your mind, and you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

---

Wooden floors creaked beneath you as you crossed the threshold of the temple, and an inexplicable wave of energy washed over you. It was intense yet comforting, like the warmth of the sun—like him.

The temple was small and modest, but it felt peaceful and comfortable. It was also evident that the wooden interior had been well-maintained despite how ancient it was. The air was filled with the soothing scents of incense and cedarwood.

The earlier conversation with Sukuna loomed over you, leaving so many questions unanswered. While you could still sense a semblance of the little boy within him, he also felt unfamiliar and distant; after all, so much time had passed. You longed to know everything about him, to fill in the gaps, but perhaps that would have to wait.

As you took a closer look around the main hall, your eyes wandered to the beautifully crafted sliding doors at the back, which were fully open to reveal a serene garden that captivated you with its lush greenery and vibrant flowers.

“It’s so beautiful,” you breathed.

Sukuna looked at you under the soft glow of the candlelight illuminating the hall, and your heart began to race under his gaze amid the intimacy of the setting. He watched you intently as if he could hear the intense beating of your heart—

“Sukuna-sama, you’re back,” a gentle voice cut through the air.

You turned to find a young person standing there. Their gender was ambiguous, but their appearance reminded you of winter's first snowfall. They exuded a calm and serene presence.

“Uraume,” Sukuna acknowledged, gesturing toward you. “She is with me. Draw her a bath and prepare some fresh clothes. I’ll get a fire started.”

“Yes, Sukuna-sama,” Uraume replied, hastily leaving for the back of the temple.

You watched as Sukuna stripped off his kimono, revealing his muscular upper body adorned with tattoos.

“Ryo, where are you going?” you asked, trying to mask the fluster in your voice.

Sukuna turned back to look at you with a smile. “I’m going to hunt some game. We’ll fill our stomachs before going to bed.”

---

The warmth of the hot spring quickly melted away the stress of the day. You still could not wrap your head around the uncanny turn of events; it felt like a nightmare turned dream. Instead of being married to Lord Yamamoto, you were now reunited with the one person who had always occupied your thoughts. A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you reached for a washcloth to gently remove your makeup. You knew that there would be other matters to address later, but for now, you wanted to savor this brief respite.

Sinking the lower half of your head into the water, you blew small bubbles, and images of Sukuna and the man he had become flashed in your mind, sending a warmth throughout your body.

Sukuna's renown had been spreading in recent years, and you were acutely aware of his reputation. Whispers surrounded him, calling him the King of Curses—the strongest jujutsu sorcerer of the era. There was much debate over whether he was merely a man or a deity, while others believed him to be a demon in disguise. Your village, having a strong aversion to jujutsu sorcery, viewed it as more of a curse than a gift and seemed to believe he was nothing short of a demon.

Regardless, you had only ever known him as Ryo, so you never gave much thought to the rumors. Man, deity, or demon—whatever he was, you would have accepted him unconditionally. Despite the time apart, you still felt an inexplicable tether to him.

I won't let you go again.

Those words stirred an emotion within you when he had initially spoken them, but doubts and hesitation lingered in your mind. Had it not been for your current predicament, you would have been more inclined to stay with him.

You held your breath and submerged yourself entirely beneath the warm water, hoping to silence these chaotic thoughts—even if just for a moment.

---

Feeling refreshed as you stepped out of the temple in a new set of clothes, you noticed that a fire had already been started and that Uraume was preparing some vegetables.

“Uraume-san,” you smiled as you walked over, “is there anything I can help you with?”

“Y/N-san,” Uraume exclaimed, a gentle light in their eyes. “All the preparations are nearly complete. Why don’t you sit by the fire first? Sukuna-sama should be back soon.”

You hesitated and looked to see if there was still anything to help with, but noticing how there was not much else, you acquiesced and made your way to the fire. You watched in awe as Uraume skillfully finished the last touches of their work. Soon after, they settled down beside you. It was a comfortable silence between the two of you, accompanied by the crackling of the fire.

“Have you and Ryo always lived here?” you tried to make conversation.

Uraume nodded, their expression thoughtful. “We’ve lived here for quite some time. I owe him my life.”

You looked at Uraume, curiosity piqued.

“I was at death’s door when he found me as a child,” Uraume confessed softly. “He took me under his wing.”

“He’s always been kind.” You smiled contemplatively.

“Yes,” Uraume agreed. There was a brief pause. “He…has also mentioned you before.”

“He has?”

Uraume nodded. “He said there was once a girl he met who lived in a village not too far from here. She was as kind as she was beautiful, and she reminded him of flowers. When I saw you, I knew you were that girl.”

It warmed your heart to know that he had spoken about you, but it also felt bittersweet.

“Ah, he’s back,” Uraume remarked, glancing behind you.

Your eyes widened at the spectacular sight before you. Sukuna had a deer slung over his shoulder, effortlessly making his way toward the two of you; he trekked as if the deer weighed nothing.

Sukuna dropped the deer by the fire, and Uraume instinctively got up, ready to prepare the meat. You watched as Sukuna slashed the deer's throat, collecting the blood in a bowl. A wave of queasiness washed over you, and you looked away, unable to face the brutal sight. Sukuna settled down beside you while Uraume got to work, efficiently cutting up the rest of the deer.

“Drink every last drop,” he commanded, handing the bowl to you.

“I—I don't think I can,” you put your hand out in defense, the metallic stench making your stomach churn.

“You are malnourished,” he said, grabbing your wrist to examine its size. “Have you not been looking after yourself?”

“I have,” you insisted, attempting to wiggle your wrist free from his grasp. His touch felt searing against your skin.

“You will drink this, unless you would like me to feed you,” Sukuna insisted, handing you the bowl once more, the intensity in his eyes leaving no room for argument.

You took the bowl in both hands, trembling slightly. As you watched the thick red liquid swirl inside, you held your breath and brought it to your lips, tilting it ever so slightly and allowing the liquid to slip into your mouth and down your throat. Just as you were about to lower the bowl, Sukuna's hand clasped over yours, tilting the bowl upward to ensure you finished everything.

“That’s it, flower—every last drop,” he said, his voice low and steady. When he was satisfied that you had consumed all of it, he released his grip and took the bowl from your hands. You gagged at the aftertaste, coughing as a trickle of blood ran down your chin. Sukuna's eyes grew dark at the sight; he wiped the blood from your chin with his thumb, then licked it clean.

“Ryo—!” you gasped, teary-eyed. “N-no more of that, please.”

“That will depend on how well you eat,” a hint of playfulness threaded through his voice.

“Do you drink this too?” you asked, clearing your throat.

"Of course, the blood of a deer is a highly nutritious delicacy. Did you know in some places, it is a drink shared by a married couple on their wedding night?" Sukuna smirked.

You shudder at the thought. This blood drinking experience was something that you hoped would be your first and last. But the slight implication that Sukuna made at the end also made you a bit shy.

Uraume handed a plate of skewered meat to Sukuna, and you marveled at how quickly they had prepared it. You watched as Sukuna stabbed each skewer into the ground by the fire, your attention lingering on the flames that seemed to beckon you.

"I should have whisked you away from the village earlier, had I known you were not being fed properly." Sukuna intently watched you with one of his eyes, sensing your tension.

"Well, why didn't you?" you muttered. The words escaped your mouth before you could stop it.

You were sure he had his reasons for staying away, yet you couldn’t hide your disappointment in him for keeping his distance. So much precious time had been lost, and so many what-ifs lingered in your mind.

It was juvenile, but you often dreamt of how the two of you would grow up together—an inseparable duo, the best of friends. Then, when you came of age, he would have asked you to follow him, and you would have gladly followed him anywhere. The two of you would travel all over the land, experiencing the world side by side. Perhaps, somewhere along the way, he would have asked you to marry him, and you would have said 'yes' without skipping a beat—

"Come now, don't sulk, flower," Sukuna said, breaking you out of your thoughts. "You're here now. We will make up for lost time."

"You speak as if I'm going to be staying here for good," you couldn't help but challenge him a little.

It might have been your imagination, but you thought his expression darkened for a split second.

"It sounds like you have somewhere to go then."

"I—well, I didn’t have too much time to think details. But I planned to make my way to a far out village, where no one will be able to find me."

"That would be difficult," Sukuna hummed.

"It’s worth a try… better than yielding to the fate I was subjugated to." You hugged your knees.

"Enlighten me, what was someone’s bride doing in the middle of the forest?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

There was a hesitation in telling him about your plight, but you knew it was also an unavoidable topic—after all, he had saved you, so an explanation was due at the very least.

“I ran away… from a marriage I wanted no part of.”

“How bold,” he chuckled. “It’s very like you.”

“It’s hardly a laughing matter, Ryo,” you huffed, anxiety evident in your voice.

“But you've successfully escaped. Should this not be a cause to celebrate?” he cocked an eyebrow.

“I don't know if I would consider it successful just yet," you narrowed your eyes. "I didn’t just run away from any man; I ran away from a lord. My village hoped to leverage my marriage with Lord Yamamoto for aid. There will be repercussions for my actions.”

Sukuna listened as he rotated the skewers.

"Hm, I suppose that is quite the predicament. Whatever shall you do then?" His question came out more like a taunt than a show of concern.

"Are you mocking my situation?" You frowned, your expression dropping as self-doubt crept in. You had to admit that you'd been reckless with your decision, and you didn't exactly have a reliable plan. You wouldn’t have even made it out of the forest had it not been for Sukuna.

“Of course not. Don't look so defeated," he softly tsked, smoothing the crease between your brows with his fingers.

You looked at him with a mixture of surprise and hesitation.

"Is there any reason for you to worry if I am going to be by your side?" he returned your gaze, a burning confidence in his eyes.

“It’s not so simple, Ryo. I don’t want you to be caught in my problems—”

“A mere lord and your measly village is not a problem,” Sukuna replied, passing a skewer to you.

You reluctantly accepted the skewer, your fingers momentarily brushing against his hand during the exchange. As divine as the meat smelled, you couldn't bring yourself to eat; your worries and anxiety loomed large over your head.

"It's not going to eat itself if you keep staring at it," Sukuna sighed, crossing his four arms and giving you a stern look.

Taking a tiny bite, your eyes momentarily lit up. It tasted even better than it smelled. Before you knew it, you had devoured the entire skewer, and Sukuna was already handing you another one. Perhaps you were hungrier than you had thought, but his pleased expression did not escape you—he cared, and that alone filled you with immense happiness.

"Do you not wish to stay here?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"It's not about what I want," you shook your head. "What if something happens to both of you because of me?"

"You needn't worry about us, Y/N-san; we are more than capable of dealing with Lord Yamamoto," Uraume smiled at you. Their gentle reassurance only seemed to amplify your guilt.

"We can't be sure of that—"

“Are you not aware of what they call me?”

You sighed, a sense of apprehension filling your chest. "I am..."

“Then if you know my reputation, you should understand that even if Lord Yamamoto and his entire arsenal, along with your village, were to descend upon us right now, they would not stand a chance.”

Sukuna seemed adamant about helping, but that only served to heighten your uneasiness. It wasn't that you doubted his capabilities; but you also understood that your actions would have dire consequences. A runaway bride of Lord Yamamoto wasn't a matter that would be overlooked so easily. Surely, the four men who had escorted you had reported back to their lord that you had escaped. Even if Sukuna could easily deal with them, he would be branded a criminal—forever having to be on the run. He had endured enough hardships in his life, and it felt like you were only adding to his strife. You didn't deserve this kindness from him; his life was fine before you came along.

"This will be your home. You will be safe as long as you stay by my side. So stay here, Y/N.” An unexpected possessiveness laced Sukuna's voice.

You looked up at Sukuna in surprise; you had never heard him call your name before. His eyes silently pleaded with you to stay—shattering your resolve.

"Tell me you need my help, flower," Sukuna urged, looking into your eyes with an intensity that made your breath hitch.

A lingering silence filled the air, broken only by the crackling of the fire and the rhythm of your heartbeat.

"Help me, Ryo…" you finally said.

---

You hadn't felt so full in a long time. Sukuna had ensured you ate your share of food before retiring to bed. Following behind him, you were led to your sleeping accommodations, and to your surprise, he took you into his chamber, which overlooked a small private garden and hot spring.

The temple was modest in size, containing only two bedrooms. It didn’t feel right to intrude on Uraume's private quarters, especially since it was Sukuna's decision to keep you, but he also couldn’t deny he had other intentions.

Before crawling into bed, you turned to meet Sukuna's gaze.

“Ryo… I don’t know how I could ever repay you. If there's anything I can do for you, you must tell me," you said earnestly.

“Hmm,” he paused, feigning contemplation.

You looked at him eagerly, trying to anticipate what he could ask for.

"Anything?" he drawled, rubbing his chin.

You nodded.

“Alright," he smirked, "swear yourself to me.”

Your eyes widened. You weren’t exactly sure what that entailed, but you trusted him implicitly. He most likely needed an extra hand with taking care of the temple and doing some extra work around here.

“A-are you sure that’s all you want? That hardly seems adequate, I am troubling you after all.” You fidgeted with the hem of your sleeves.

"You undermine yourself, flower."

“Oh, well, I do have many skills I could offer, and I promise to be useful around here. I’m quite knowledgeable about plants, herbs, and flowers. I may not be as good a cook as Uraume, but—”

"Staying by my side is enough," he interjected.

There was a sincerity in his voice that was new to you, making your heart do flips inside your chest.

"Ryo..." you spoke quietly, clasping your hands tightly. "I might misunderstand if you're so kind to me."

Oh, what a delight you were. Sukuna felt an intense urge to smother you.

“Well, what if I wanted more than just your domestic skills?” he asked lowly, taking a lock of your hair into his hands.

Your heart raced, and suddenly the room felt hot as you understood his implications.

“Is that… what you truly desire?"

"And if it is?"

There was a brief pause.

Just this morning, you were still in utter despair, wholly expecting to be wedded to a monster. But now, in this moment, it was not Lord Yamamoto before you, but rather the man of your dreams—the only man you had wished to marry. He had long claimed your mind and heart; what more was your body?

"Then take me," your voice was barely above a whisper.

Sukuna’s eyes darkened, but why did he feel so disappointed by your response? It almost rolled off your tongue too easily.

"You would just give yourself to any man, so long as they ask?"

"N-no, you misunderstand!"

Sukuna remained silent, the look in his eyes demanding you to elaborate.

"If that were true, I wouldn’t have ran away from Lord Yamamoto. You're not just any man to me, Ryo. I—" love you. The heat crept up to your ears.

Your timid confession sent a chilling thrill through his body, awakening a primal hunger within him, he could no longer resist.

“Do you truly wish to be mine?” he asked, tucking your hair behind your ear. You felt dizzy under his touch and gaze.

"Yes..."

"Look at me and say it." He hissed.

"I'm yours, Ryo. I want to be yours." You met his eyes and gently took his hand, placing it over your heart, hoping he could feel how violently it was beating against your chest.

“You didn’t need to ask me to swear myself to you; I would have gladly followed you anywhere. I've felt that way ever since we were children.”

Sukuna was rarely caught off guard. The first time he recalled was when you approached him as a child, and the second was this very moment. You had just confessed your feelings for him and expressed a desire to stay with him of your own volition. Nobody else had ever been able to elicit these feelings from him, and the dominion you unknowingly held over him was both terrifying and thrilling.

"Then I will take you, flower—your heart, body, and soul."

Without sparing another moment, he wrapped his hand behind your head and crushed his lips against yours in a searing kiss. The world around you fell silent.

For once, it felt as if the universe had smiled upon his wretched life.

Writing © xechu - please do not redistribute, translate, or repost any of my works.

I do not own any of the pictures or photos used in this banner. Right-hand art is done by © sin_zany on Instagram.

Taglist: @paradisestarfishh @ssetsuka

[shuuji-thoughts]

on Spirited Away - Hayao Miyazaki (2001)

Initial Impressions

We've finally made it! The last film I'll be reviewing for this blog. And quite the classic at that. I'm gonna be honest though, I've never really liked this film very much, and I'm not entirely sure why. The first two or three times I watched it I fell asleep halfway through, I think because the film is honestly kind of boring? Surely I can't be the only one that thinks that? Regardless, despite nearly falling asleep this time too, I found a lot more to appreciate this time around and can actually say I see the appeal now. Still prefer Ponyo tho lol

Further Critique

At first, I couldn't really find anything to read into in this film. It's a relatively straight-forward Alice in Wonderland type tale loaded with Japanese folklore references and silly creatures doing silly things to make the kiddies laugh. But it kinda hit me when Yubaba took Chihiro's name, widdling it down to one character, an action which effectively makes her a slave to the bathhouse with the only means of escape being to remember her name... I think... I think this film is about capitalism?? (well specifically western consumerist culture and its influence on Japan but yeah). Forgive me for putting the marx cap on again, but hear me out... ever wonder why the parents in the beginning turn into pigs specifically?? WELL did you notice how the parents come in with their imported Audi, European clothes, and credit cards, commenting on the abandoned theme park being a relic of the bubble economy, a time of rampant consumerism that ended in ruin? Here I believe Miyazaki is trying to say that these modern examples of gaudy western consumerism (the parents) are no different from those of the bubble period (the pigs). Also, it's interesting how in an otherwise minimalist, traditional Japanese-styled bathhouse, Yubaba specifically wears European dress and lives in a European styled room full of random things on the top floor, as if to symbolize western consumerism's cultural dominance over Japan post-Meiji. Also yeah, that thing about one's name being linked with one's autonomy is (I believe) a clear metaphor for how employers strip away the individuality and autonomy of their employees, leaving only what serves their interests (the worker's value as a source of capital generation, symbolized by the remaining character, 千). It's only through remembering one's identity as an autonomous individual that one recognizes that they've been fashioned into another cog in the machine. I could be reaching for straws here, but I don't really think I am considering that Miyazaki has openly stated his gripes with western consumerist influences, and is also known to be very intentional with each element in his films.

Needless to say, I definitely got a lot more out of this viewing than I did the previous three lol. I still feel like its reputation as like THE ghibli film is a bit of an exaggeration, as it's hardly even in the top five for me, but it's certainly not as shit as I thought. 7/10

Thanks for the great semester ya'll!! Many great films (and many ASS films) were had. Hope ya'll have a great summer filled with many opportunities to watch MORE FILMS!!!

[internetanomaly]

September 8th, Day 4/365

Counting down to September 5th 2024.

Two days back – on this blog, I talked about how I've been defining myself by my interests and the media I consume, but weirdly, I haven't actually shared what I'm into. That was pretty much why I started writing the Day 2 entry, but I got clearly sidetracked by other thoughts.

I want to say that I've taken up this digital niche because I lack someone in the real world to talk to about what I enjoy, but that's not true really. There are people, friends in my life who'd gladly listen to me babble about my newfound favorite song. But even though I've been reassured about this before, there's always this nagging fear that they're just listening to me out of pity. I believe enjoyment is personal, and even if someone likes the same stuff as me, even when our interests align, the way they experience it will always be different from mine.

A great example of a personal experience of mine would be the videogame 'Disco Elysium.' I introduced it to a friend, knowing they'd connect with the main character, and so they did. Yet, every time we talk about the game, it's clear that we took pleasure in completely different aspects. The way we decide to elaborate on the messaging and development of the story is vastly different, and it couldn't be any other way.

This will sound like some spiritual, new-age mumbo jumbo, but what i'm really trying to say is that the vibes and sensations we created and experienced during the game are fundamentally different and they never had a chance to be the same. The same movie viewed through someone else's eyes becomes an entirely different experience. By existing in a context our experiences are necessarily subjective and tainted. In this context empathy is limited, it is fundamentally impossible to find someone who truly enjoys something for the same reasons you do. Isn't that sad?

I think this is why I'm so reticent about the things I enjoy with those close to me. Words often fall short in conveying emotion, and the moment you try to explain or show something, the essence inevitably gets diluted.

A few days ago I've started watching 'Dekalog' (1989) by Kiéslowski. It's got quite the reputation for its depth and profound thematic exploration, but if I may voice my skepticism, I'm not entirely sold on the hype. I already spilled my guts in a few Letterboxd reviews, so I won't go into detail here. Overall, I just feel that the stories are surprisingly surface level for how universally acclaimed this is. Maybe that's the very reason it brings enjoyment to so many – there's not much deep thinking required but it's great at hinting at a deepness and nuance that is just not there. This way people can still feel the rush of philosophy without having to put any effort in; Kiéslowski serves his messages up clear and loud, leaving the viewer with the single responsibility of getting exposed to it. I truly do feel like I'm being too harsh with this series of films but my expectations were too high to justify what I saw.

On the polar opposite end of the spectrum, Matsumoto's 'Funeral Parade of Roses' (1969) completely blew me off. I went into it blind and I was so completely took by surprise right at the beginning – when *spoiler* Eddie's shower scene showed that she didn't have breasts I audibly gasped out loud; I literally had an involuntary physical reaction to an image on my laptop screen, I cannot stress enough how impressive that is. From that moment I was completely hooked, I knew this film was going to be a journey of self-exploration for me and it unequivocally delivered. Maybe it's not for everyone, but I would dare to say that it's a masterpiece. Apart from all the technical praise I could give it, what truly stuck with me is that it just made me feel seen. I guess that's simple enough, but it really means a lot to me. Maybe that's why people enjoyed 'Dekalog' too, there's a lot of family themes that I'm sure resonate with people. Once again: by existing in a context our experiences are necessarily subjective and tainted, my empathy is also limited so who am I to judge? What's probably happening is that I just don't get it, I'm certain there has to be beauty in the simplicity of it, I'm just not the person it speaks to.

[manticoreflame]

moving blogs for the new year goodbyeeeeeee

[onewomancitadel]

I wrote all those posts (Cinder is polite, Cinder's speech patterns) yesterday once again on archetypal blindness with Cinder and what amounts to the typical fandom flanderisation with characters. Tangentially to that topic is like when the headcanon went around and gained traction that Cinder couldn't read. Because she was abused and enslaved so when would she ever become literate? Notice that this is again on theme of 'feral woman' - unkempt, lack of manners, inability to read, a collection of traits that run counter to her actual character and canonical facts we know to be true (she went to Beacon, Salem is her master, Salem canonically 'teaches' her), but again you've got an archetypal grouping going on here (and some gendered stereotypes at play as I was saying).

I made brief reference to this in another post but there has been a resurgence of interest in female villains specifically of the feral woman variety. Cinder is an interesting study because historically two categories of acceptable female villain archetypes have been assigned to her: the cold sexy calculating femme fatale, and now the feral woman archetype. There are a collection of traits in her character that can align with those at different times, but they ignore the context of her character and generally flatten her. Why does this matter? Because I think the memetic nature of fandom makes it so that fanon predominates interpretation before canon and it basically defeats the point of engaging with canon at all.

That we've seen this archetypal shift over time accompanying the narrative shifts her character has gone through is actually its own interesting study; I would say that part of what has reformed Cinder on Tumblr has been this archetypal shift itself that people have begun to accept (though the fact that it's tonally not really appropriate is another matter, canon tone is not a concern with archetypal trends in my experience). I also know of some major blogs that have encouraged this type of interpretation of her, most fanart and most posts I've seen about her generally come from either of these archetypal angles. Archetypes are powerful. Jung wrote about them for a reason, even if psychoanalysis doesn't hold up now the way it did then; fitting people and characters into schema, particularly in group settings like fandom, is an easy pattern to fall into. Ironically.

What's interesting is that right now you can actually see the holdover of the femme fatale in some parts of fandom because the changes on Tumblr are not happening everywhere - so the femme fatale and other sexualised/objectified female villain archetypes are held in tension with the current feral woman archetypes of Tumblr, and both are kind of happening at the same time. I think that the feral woman is also partly an expression of sexuality, just in a different way - if female sexuality is suppressed under the proper performance of femininity, female sexuality can be expressed through the feral woman who is usually of voracious appetite. The irony is that, again, the feral woman archetype can become its own boxed in set of expectations. The problem is once you associate female sexuality with villainy, it's going to have thematic consequences that may be unintended. This is why I think 'true' romance can play a major role in Cinder's redemption arc and have positive consequences for, well, sexuality, and not leave the 'sexy' archetype she played as something, well, completely associating sexuality with villainy.

What does this all say? I don't mean to condescend to anybody. I think the memetic function of fandom and flanderisation of characters clearly has some purpose, otherwise it wouldn't be a thing we see over and over again. It's partly related to prosocial behaviours and building community over finding things compelling. It's also partly knowing how to say the right things and making sure other people also know you believe the right things about xyz character. This is where fandom and canon interpretation get messy. Because it's not like I'm exactly making friends myself.

It's interesting how powerful the role of archetypes are, though, in that they can even transcend canon and colour interpretation to the point that it's almost unrecognisable as what it was originally, and in others can give you the thematic key to the story. The subconscious way we interact with storytelling is really diminished now, mostly because of conscious narrative cynicism, but in this case can really explain fandom behaviour.

Does it matter? Let people have fun. That's the refrain I always encounter. Well, it's not fun for me and I don't like venturing out beyond my blog, and you're supposed to write and create the things you want to see. So I try to write and create the things I want to see. I think that much is obvious. But it does get kind of lonely and frankly it does get kind of boring seeing the same character repackaged across fandoms and seeing stuff that so obviously ignores Cinder's actual character (... or Jaune).

[the-inkwell-variable]

Get to Know Me

I was tagged by @kyofsonder in this little game! I'll try to keep it brief -- I tend to ramble, and I don't want to subject you guys to my mindless babbling xD

Relationship Status: I am married, to a lovely MTF potato that I adore more than anything in the world (yes, even more than my cats!)

Favorite Color: I can't decide between turquoise and deep purple, so both? Both is good!

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Savory! I can't handle spicy much, even if I love the zing it gives, and my stomach can't handle too much sweet (curse you, overindulgence of sour gummi worms and hot tamales!) so I tend to lean toward savory foods!

Three Favorite Foods: it's like you know I can't choose lol! Well, my three favorites are saurbraten, wienerschnitzel, and spaghetti bolognese! It ain't real spaghetti without the meat sauce, and I'll die on this hill!

Song Stuck in My Head: Right now, it's a toss-up between "Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea" by XYLØ or "Sarcasm" by Get Scared. Two very different moods, both stuck in my head at once. HELP

Last Song Listened To: "The Hunter" Intense Symphonic Metal Cover (a remake of Father Gascoigne's theme from Bloodborne, UGH IT'S SO GOOD)

Last Thing I Googled: that's easy! The name of "Sarcasm" because I completely spaced on it and couldn't be bothered to scroll through my playlist to find it again xD listen i'm incredibly lazy leave me alooooone

Last Series I Watched: The Strain! It's Halloween and in between horror movies, I decided to rewatch one of my favorite series ever -- season four doesn't exist though. I'm in charge and I've decided that. I'll happily rant about THAT if anyone wants to hear my completely fair and totally unbiased opinions /s

Last Movie I Watched: The Last Rite. It was...okay? Pretty interesting for a possession flick. Some characters weren't acted the greatest, but I did like it overall.

Currently Reading: This Rotten World by Jacy Morris! I'm a slut for zombies in literature, and this is actually turning out to be a really good book. I'm enjoying it a lot, even if I don't have the spoons to read as much as I want to. Shoutout to Contagion by Erin Bowman for being another one that I recently read! I usually don't do sci fi, but this.... holy fuck this one actually scared me a little. It's SO GOOD

Currently Working On: trying to find a game to platinum (shoutout to my side blog @phantomkit1747 to keep tabs on THAT mess), getting to the newly introduced chaos 100 on Tiny Tina's Wonderland, 100% Batman Arkham Knight AGAIN, and figuring out how to get past my total inability to write for some stupid reason. Am I burned out?? Is it my health?? WHO KNOWS

Time: 12:52pm!

Dream Trip: ugh, I'd love to go home to Germany and just stroll through the pedestrian zones. In the fall, they're absolutely gorgeous. It's surprisingly relaxing, even when it's packed! I'd love to go visit some more castles too, maybe even just take a drive and get completely lost in the countryside!

Anything I Really Want Right Now: A new tablet -- mine finally crapped out on me, so now I can no longer draw NOR write casually on the couch instead of in my uncomfortable computer chair. I'm saving up for it but UGH BILLS (and doordash, doordash is the bane of my savings account xD)

Tagging! @writingpotato07, @lexwritesgayshit, @radiowrites, @on-noon, @taomega20writings, @writingently, and anyone else who wants to take part!

[chickenandwafflesandtv]

Orange Show+Movie

Hi! Welcome back to my blog! This time, we're in for a doozy.

Hold up. I'm not watching a sport anime? What alternate reality have we entered?

ORANGE SEASON 1

Just kidding. If there's one thing I love to watch as much as sports animes, it's animes that are guaranteed to make you cry. And boy did this one deliver.

BACKGROUND

The morning her second year of high school begins, Naho Takamiya receives a letter addressed to herself from 10 years in the future. The letter states that the events that will occur over the next few months will leave her with insurmountable regrets. It also includes a list of monumental moments that Future-Naho wishes to change. Finally, the letter states the most important thing that Present-Naho should be is be kind and take care of new student Kakeru Naruse, because 10 years into the future, Kakeru is dead. The letter ends with Future-Naho saying that her biggest regret is the fact that she and her friends could have saved him. The show follows Naho as she tries her best to change Kakeru's fate, all while slowly falling in love with him.

REVIEW

I cry semi-often when I watch anime, but it's usually at random times. I can say will full honestly that this is the most I have ever cried over a TV show in my life. I cried in literally Every. Single. Episode. The art style for this show was perfect, even if they made Naho's eyes weirdly large at some points. The plot and storyline were phenomenal. I'm a huge advocate when it comes to mental health/illness and media that surrounds that topic always ends up hitting me really hard. This show was no exception. I really enjoyed how about halfway through the show, it was revealed that the rest of Naho and Kakeru's friend group also received letters from their future selves, telling them what actions to take to save his life. Knowing how the characters' future ends up and seeing if they can change it meant that I couldn't bring myself to look away from the screen for one second. Seeing each choice they characters had to make and the different consequences each action had led to a gripping story that had me audibly gasping and yelling a TV that can't hear me. My roommates had to come into my room multiple times to check up on me because I was having full-on breakdowns over this show. This truly was a masterpiece.

BONUS: MOVIE

Imagine my joy when I finally finish drying my eyes and find that there's a movie sequel from the point of view of Hiroto Suwa, one of Naho and Kakeru's friends who ended up marrying Naho in the original future (a fact that everyone but Naho and Kakeru knew through the events of the original series). The movie is essentially just a retelling of the show from Suwa's perspective, but it does include a few new scenes from both the original future and the future that exists after they saved Kakeru. This one wasn't as sad, but it still packed an emotional punch; dealing with lost love, selflessness, and putting others' happiness before your own. I will admit that I also cried to this one.

SIGN OFF

When I started this blog, I thought it would be enjoying the shows that interest me. This show had gone above and beyond, it may have just changed my life. I had tried to watch this show sometime last year but after about 2 minutes, I just couldn't stay interested. All I remember is I liked the theme song and downloaded it. Finally watching the show now, I will probably never stop thinking about it. It's the kind of show where every so often, I'll think of a scene from it and be overwhelmed with emotion while I'm putting away groceries or answering a question in class. It's more than I ever could have imagined.

8/30/22 3:02pm

[liberty-barnes]

Miah’s 1K Celebration

so...

welcome to the mess that is my 1k celebration cause i’m unable to make simple choices and can’t stand the thought of letting people down

as you can see, i’m perfectly normal

the literal 1005 people following me would disagree on that but heyyy details

so anyway

one thousand

one bloody thousand people following me

my inicial reaction is whyyyy??? i’m just a bisexual disaster who sometimes writes a half decent fanfic but you deemed me worthy of your follow?

then i started crying cause yk

but bottomline is, i love you all, you’re the bestest people in the whole entire world, so i’m gonna make both a sleepover and a writing challenge

sleepover cause i like answering questions

writing challenge cause it gives me a chance to show you all other artists and discover other artists myself cause we all need them and they deserve more recognition

special shoutout to my mutuals who i’ll tag at the end for always being there for me and supporting me through every high and every low, y’all are the real heroes here

BUT ANYWAY, ONTO THE CELEBRATION PART, WHICH FINDS ITSELF UNDER THE CUT OTHERWISE IT’D BE TOO BIG TO PROPERLY REBLOG (i tend to ramble a bit, but you already knew that)

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: December 20th 2020

Who can participate: everyone, anon or not! no need to be following me either

send me asks for:

✨ my opinion on...

🌻 cast my mutuals as...

🎵 i'll put my playlist on shuffle and give you a song

🍉 random fact about me

🦔 what's my favorite...

🍀 i'll give you advice (or just listen to you rant, if you want)

💬 last text [insert person] sent me

💌 handwritten letter

🎬 movie rec

📖 fic or blog rec

📘 inspiration behind [insert fic name], how i came up with it or if you have questions about it

🖋 line from one of my WIPs (tell me if you want fluff or angst, i won't tell you the pairing or anything, that's no fun)

💋 kiss, date, marry [insert people]

🎤 give me a song an i'll do a mini cover of it (it will be 1min long tops cause that's all tumblr can take lmao)

📷 random picture from my camera roll (you can request a theme if you want, like pictures from my childhood or awkward pics or something)

Rules:

• Open to anyone (don't have to be following me)

• Send me a DM or ask with the prompt(s) you want (two people tops per work) and who you're writing about

• Smut is allowed but make sure to put it in the warnings

• I will accept works for any Marvel character or cast member, part of the Holland clan, 1D member or affiliated, Teen Wolf characters or cast member, Maze Runner character or cast member

• Can be reader inserts or not, but please specify it in your DM/ask too

• Tag me when you're done

• All works will be rebloged under #Miah's 1k writing challenge and put in a masterlist that will be specifically created for this writing challenge

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: January 11th 2020

Prompt list:

1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

2. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

3. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

4. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

5. “Can you just please hold me?”

6. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

7. “Can I stay here tonight?”

8. “You’re really warm.”

9. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

10. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”

11. “You are crushing me right now.”

12. “Darling I love you and all, but please get out of my kitchen.”

13. "I leave you alone for five minutes and this happens."

14. "I didn't fall. The floor looked lonely so I wanted to hug it." "Then why are you crying?" "It was an emotional reunion."

15. "There's no such thing as too many fairy lights."

16. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

17. “I love you.” “No you don’t”

18. “Any other lies left to tell me?”

19. “I miss the old you.”

20. “What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”

21. “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

22. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

23. "It's okay. It's not your fault that I couldn't be enough."

24. "Please don't leave me."

25. "You have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

26. "Will you shut up for once in your life?"

27. "This isn't about us."

28. "I will shove a christmas tree so far up your ass that when you open your mouth we'll see the fairy lights."

29. "I'm not crying, my eyes are sweating"

30. "Is that blood?" "Yes, but it's not mine." "Is that supposed to make it better?"

31. "I’ll drink to that.” “You drink to everything.” “Cheers!”

32. “Why is arson always your first answer?”

33. "What are you doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing?"

34. "I can explain!" "Then explain." "Okay, I can't explain."

35. "Get out of here with your facts. Just because you're accurate does not mean you're interesting."

36. "How many hearts did you break while trying to keep yours intact?"

37. "I know everything. It's in the job description."

38. "One more word out of you and I'll rip your throat out with my teeth."

39. "Do you listen to girl in red?"

40. "Is that code for something or am I just paranoid?"

41. "With how things have been going, I might as well start working at a circus."

42. "I love (him/her/them)." "Then why did you give up?" "Cause (he/she/they) deserved better."

43. "I want to ask but something tells me the answer will be more disturbing than anything I can think of."

44. "Do you think he's... *flicks wrist*?"

45. "Do I look like an idiot to you?" "Do you want me to answer that honestly or politely?"

46. "Just how clumsy are you?"

47. "So... the weather?"

48. "Just leave."

49. "Don't you fucking dare!"

50. "You don't have to talk right now. But whenever you're ready, if you're ever ready, I'll be here to listen."

tagging and complimenting my amazing mutuals cause y’all deserve it

@parkersbliss​ thank you for marrying me, first of all, and for being the most amazing wife one could ask. i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and i will never stop ebing thankful for your existence

@peterspideyy​ thank you for listening to my rants along with grace and supporting me during all my simping, you’re the sweetest thing existing since powdered sugar

@theamazingtomholland​ thank you for always putting a smile on my face, reminding me that i’m loved everyday and just being you, cause it’s the best thing you could be

@lozzypoz321​ thank you for listening to me rant abt my fics and how much i hate writing and then motivating me to write again or do basic things like get out of bed lmao (we still have the best taste in music)

@everything-is-alrightt​ kenzie lovely, thank you for being the pure little ball of unfiltered joy that you are cause even thinking about you and the jump shit your brothers get up to makes me smile like crazy, you’re amazing and don’t you dare forget it

@spider-trash​ thank you for being my brother, going alon with my ridiculous schemes for corrupting posie and making me laugh out loud every time you come up with something even worse, you’re the coolest bro i could ask for

and finally, thank you @fallinfortom​ for inspiring me to write in the first place, being an amazing mum to us, an actual good role model for me to have and for your random appearances in my dreams and the fun english teacher who makes us read tom holland fics instead of english literature. you’re amazing and i’m incredibly thankful to know you

love you all to the ends of the universe and back again, Miah

[xechu]

[Devour] Prologue: Innocence

Pairing: Ryomen Sukuna x fem!reader

Word count: 1.6K

Warnings: please read my blog's rules before interacting. 18+ mdni, angst, eventual smut, hurt/no comfort, explicit sexual content, undertones of misogyny (because the 'olden days'), mature themes, depiction of gore and violence, mentions of pregnancy and abortion. Please note that these warnings are applicable to the whole series and not limited to this specific chapter.

Tags: mini series, angst, smut, Heian Era, true form Sukuna

Summary: the two of you had met when you were children. It was a fateful encounter that neither of you would be able to forget.

A/N: My first mini series. Originally, I wanted to release this after the new year, but since I have it ready, I figured releasing it a few days in advance won’t hurt. Chapter 1 will be coming out on the first week of January. Thank you so much for reading and stay tuned. x

Masterlist: Chapter 1 >

For as long as Sukuna could remember, his life had always been turbulent and chaotic—a brutal survival of the fittest.

His father was an unknown figure, and his mother was branded as the village witch-whore for birthing an abomination out of wedlock—a boy with four eyes and four arms. This deformity was said to be an omen, a sign of something dark. It was believed that his very existence was due to a twin he had devoured in his mother’s womb, marking him as the devil incarnate, a child born innately evil—or so everyone proclaimed. Thus, the King of Curses, Ryomen Sukuna, came to be.

Sukuna couldn't recall exactly how old he was when he discovered his mother had perished. He had waited silently for her return, as he always did, eager for the food scraps she would gather for him throughout the day. Their shack was situated at the furthest end of the village, isolated from everyone else. But as he continued to wait, there was no sign of his mother. Not long after whispers among the villagers filled the air, saying that the "witch-whore had finally died." At first, Sukuna couldn’t believe it; it seemed more likely that his mother had chosen to abandon him.

When the sun had long set, he decided he must see for himself, hiding in the shadows of the night. As he slipped into the village square undetected, it became clear that his mother had indeed died. Her body lay exposed, treated with a heinous indignity, left as a harsh reminder for the daughters of the village that purity was their greatest virtue. Yet, as Sukuna stared at her lifeless form, he found he could not bring himself to feel anything at all. So, with just the clothes on his back, he turned away and left the village, abandoning his mother's corpse to rot.

The first summer after leaving the village proved to be a harsh one. The scorching heat was relentless, and rationing his resources became a struggle under the unforgiving sun. He went three days without food, growing weaker and more desperate until he stumbled across a quiet village. He observed the settlement from the tree line, feeling a spark of hope rise within him. This might be his only saving grace. He planned to steal from the village, taking just enough to fill his belly for the next few days before the food inevitably goes bad, forcing him to seek out his next meal elsewhere. When suddenly—

“Are you lost?” a soft voice called out to Sukuna, catching him off guard. He jumped slightly and turned to find you standing behind him, your bright eyes filled with curiosity. Panic coursed through him—he had been careless. He braced himself for the worst: screams, tears, perhaps even insults. But to his surprise, you simply stood there, eyes wide with interest. There was no fear in them, only a pure, untainted curiosity he hadn’t encountered before.

An unfamiliar hesitation washed over Sukuna in the face of your innocence. He subconsciously began to shuffle, unsure of how to respond.

“No,” he replied curtly, the word falling harshly from his lips. It had been so long since he’d spoken to anyone that he almost forgot how to engage in conversation.

“Then what are you doing here?” you asked, tilting your head in curiosity. “I’ve never seen you around our village before.”

Despite your youth, you were remarkably perceptive—almost too bright for your own good, as your grandmother might say.

Sukuna opened his mouth to respond, but the words seemed caught in his throat. Frustration built as he struggled to articulate his feelings. He looked down at his tattered shoes, searching for the right words, but the more desperately he searched, the more they eluded him. Then, his stomach growled—a deep, painful reminder of his hunger, and familiar feeling soon followed—shame. He hated that feeling the most, yet it clung to him like a shadow. It was your fault for holding him captive with all your questions.

“Are you hungry? Here, my grandma made these!” Your voice was bright as you offered him a steamed bun.

Heat crept to his ears, followed by a flash of anger and embarrassment. How dare you challenge his pride? You were oblivious to the reality of his situation, yet here you were, offering him food as if it were a game—as if it were a taunt, reminding him of what you had that he didn’t.

“I’m not hungry,” he grunted, swatting the bun from your hand. It tumbled into a nearby bush, rolling away as he turned to walk off, desperate to escape the moment.

“Oh—no, the bun!” you frowned, disappointment lacing your voice.

Sukuna heard your hurried footsteps as you rushed to retrieve it from the bush. Instinct kicked in, and he spun around, swatting your hand away just as you reached in.

“Don’t touch it,” he warned, his tone sharp.

You quickly pulled back your hand, eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears. Sukuna groaned and rolled his eyes, feeling a flicker of annoyance mixed with…guilt?

“Don’t you see the poison ivy over there?” He gestured toward the patch of dangerous leaves nearby.

“Poison ivy?” You repeated, confusion etching your features.

“If you touch it, you can get a bad rash,” Sukuna sighed, exasperated.

“Oh,” you gasped, realization dawning on your face. “You saved me.”

“Idiot,” he mumbled, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

It was a waste of food, Sukuna thought, and if he were honest, it smelled divine. With a reluctant sigh, he reached back into the bush, careful to avoid the poison ivy as he salvaged the bun. You watched intently, your expression a mix of curiosity and admiration, as he successfully retrieved it.

“How did you know that was poison ivy?” you asked, enthusiasm lighting up your voice.

“You learn… after getting hurt by it,” he replied, his words laced with a hint of bitterness.

“You got hurt—what are you doing?” Your eyes widened as you noticed him peeling off the surface of the bun.

“What do you think? I’m going to eat this,” he said nonchalantly.

“No! Don’t do that. I have more—we can share.” You grinned while untying the wrapped piece of cloth to show him the three additional buns inside.

Sukuna’s eyes widened at the sight, his mouth watering involuntarily at the thought of food.

You kicked some twigs out of the way, creating a more comfortable spot on the ground. “Come sit with me,” you patted the space beside you and smiled at Sukuna. He hesitated for a moment but eventually gave in. After all, this was how he had to survive. It felt less risky than stealing from the village.

“Here.” You flashed him a bright smile, handing him another bun as he settled down beside you. Sukuna took the bun, and as he bit into it, he realized just how hungry he truly was; he devoured it in large, eager bites.

“Slow down, you’re going to choke. I don’t have any water,” you said, concern lacing your voice. Your words reminded him of how other parents gently chided their children for eating too quickly.

Sukuna swallowed the last bite and looked at you, puzzled. “Are you not scared of me?”

“No, why should I be scared of you?” you replied with naive innocence.

“It’s quite obvious,” he murmured, casting a glance toward his disfigurement.

You shook your head, unfazed. “But you’re so kind. You saved me from poison ivy and now you're talking to me.”

He fell silent, unsure how to respond. The uncomfortable feeling in his chest bubbled up again. As he continued munching on the buns you had graciously shared, he watched you with a mix of curiosity and disbelief. Your skin reminded him of the mochi sold at the market. On a whim, he reached out and pinched your cheek, causing you to flinch.

“Ah—” you gasped, caught off guard by the unexpected touch.

“I was curious,” Sukuna confessed. “You remind me of a flower.” An unexplained tightening in his chest accompanied the words.

A faint pink dusted your cheeks as you giggled. “Flowers are pretty. Are you saying I’m pretty?” you asked, smiling with delight.

“No.” Sukuna scoffed, though a hint of amusement flickered in his eyes.

“Well, you, hmm…” You pondered for a moment before adding, “You remind me of the sun. You’re so warm.”

For a moment, Sukuna was at a loss for words. Kindness was a foreign concept to him; his own mother had never looked at him that way.

"Don't be so nice to me; nothing good will come of it." Sukuna quickly turned his head away, attempting to conceal the flush creeping across his face.

"But I want to be," you replied with a warm smile, placing a hand gently on his shoulder to meet his gaze. He stiffened at your touch.

"Let’s be friends!" you exclaimed.

"We can't," Sukuna said sternly, the quick rejection hitting you like a blow.

You let out a disappointed hum. Silence settled between you as you both sat there, continuing to nibble on the buns.

“Well, I have to go,” you said shortly after, brushing off your clothes as you stood up. “My grandma will worry if I’m late.”

Sukuna remained seated, looking up at you as you prepared to leave.

“Will I see you again tomorrow?” you asked, hope shining in your eyes.

Sukuna shook his head. “No, you won’t.”

“Oh, I see… are you going somewhere far?” Sadness crept into your features as you watched him.

Sukuna nodded.

“May I know your name?”

“It’s Ryo…” he said quietly, wanting to ask for yours but deciding to keep his mouth shut.

“Goodbye for now, Ryo. I hope we’ll see each other again someday.” You smiled.

Goodbye, little flower, he whispered in his heart as he watched your silhouette fade away, clutching the bun with the surface peeled away. He looked beside him; it seemed you had forgotten the last bun and the cloth that wrapped it.

Writing © xechu - please do not redistribute or repost.

I do not own any of the pictures or photos used in this banner. Right-hand art is done by © sin_zany on Instagram.

[tswiftisgay]

Out of the Woods is about the pain of bearding 💔

Out of the Woods was written and produced by Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff, released as a promotional single prior, and then again on the album 1989. The song is believed to have been written in October 2013. It was the final music video released for the 1989 era.  

I would like to argue that OOTW is a song both about bearding with Harry Styles and dating Dianna. It is a mirror image of I Know Places. Let’s dive in.

1.   First, let’s look at the song within context.

It follows Style on the album, which describes an on and off relationship: “When we go crashing down, we come back every time/ 'Cause we never go out of style.“ This is similar to how the Out of the Woods relationship is described: “We were built to fall apart /Then fall back together.” I Wish You Would, How to Get the Girl, and All You Had to Do Was Stay all play with this theme as well. In this way, Out of the Woods fits into the larger themes and narrative of the album.

Another song on 1989, I Know Places talks about running and hiding to protect a relationship. This sense of paranoia and fear is only present in one other song on the album--Out of the Woods.

2.    Now let’s discuss the inspiration behind OOTW as understood by the GP and Kaylor fans.

GP: It’s about Harry Styles as make clear by references to last December, a snowmobile accident, wearing his necklace, paper airplanes, and the thematic similarities to Style, which is also about him.

The main problem with this take is that Haylor was a joint PR bearding relationship. (See this timeline and search my blog for the haylor hashtag if this is still not clear to you.)

However, if you still aren’t sold that Haylor was fake, these lyrics don’t seem to match with the narrative for their split: “Remember when we couldn't take the heat / I walked out, I said, I'm setting you free.” They supposedly split because Harry was flirting with other girls. How did that have anything to do with heat or pressure?

Plus Taylor’s own explanation for the album changed a lot. Despite implying that Style is about him in her first 1989 interview with Rolling Stone, she later distanced herself from that interpretation. In fact, her overall narrative focus shifted during her album promo, making it unclear which Taylor to believe.

Kaylors: It’s about Dianna with whom Taylor had a tense on/off relationship while bearding with Harry. Taylor dropped clues linking the song to Harry to appease her het fans, as she did in many songs.

The problem with this take is that it is more than just a clue. Taylor spends an entire verse describing a snowmobile accident. Taylor makes repeated and extremely specific references to Harry and their public relationship.

Some may argue it was all a metaphor. Paper airplanes are certainly a powerful metaphor for something fragile, but your necklace hanging from my neck is pretty clear cut. Others may say that there was another similar experience she was actually alluding to, like how she later carefully set up Calvin stunts to mimic actual Karlie moments. But unlike a stunt photo or quote, an injury is hard to fake. In fact, Harry tried to hide his injury when he was being papped. Fans only know about it because of the photos leaked from a party he attended later with friends.  

3.   Another less popular analysis reads this as a song about bearding with Harry. 

“This is a pretty obvious closet metaphor. Are we in the clear? Are we safe? Did it work? Did we fool the world again? Is our mutual secret still hidden?

“So while the marketing is exploitative and icky as usual, the song itself could possibly be the one honest introspective statement we’ve ever gotten on the Haylor debacle.” from @at-your-liberty ‘s post (Also see this post.)

Please note that Jack Antonoff has been a co-writer and producer on some of Taylor’s most intimate, personal, and queer songs on her last two albums. You Are in Love, Dress, Call It What You Want, and New Years Day, are the most obvious examples. I would argue Out of the Woods is another one.

I think given the absolute plethora of lines pointing to Harry this is a very logical analysis. I also agree that the theme of fear and running match perfectly with the process of bearding.

4.   I would like to posit that this song is actually about two different people simultaneously. 

Taylor has a knack for creating songs with layered meanings. White Horse is ostensibly about a failed relationship but also about a loss of innocence—or even about accepting the loss of a heterosexual fairytale. This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things is ostensibly about Kanye West and feuds, but as many of us have noticed it also unmistakably correlates with her relationship with fans. There are countless more examples, especially when you look at the real inspiration behind many of her songs.

In the case of OOTW, Taylor did not need to be vague about it because her topic was more or less Harry Styles, even if not in the way her general audience would expect. Haylor was one of Taylor and Harry’s most intense and public beards. (Hiddleswift being the only thing to compete with it.) There were pictures and articles released almost every day of December 2012. At the time Taylor is had rekindled her relationship with Dianna, while Harry was dating Louis Tomlinson, who was notably a complete wreck during and after the stunt. Louis consistently spoke of Taylor with disdain and jealousy.

So she wrote retrospectively about navigating a public fauxmance and a real romance, reflecting on how bearding is a painful, emotionally taxing activity. 

Looking at the Lyrics

Looking at it now

It all seems so simple

It was a simple plan, like any other bearding arrangement, but it didn’t end up being simple for them.

Her relationship with Dianna was also simple or straightforward in the sense that they both liked the other. But being queer was deemed potentially destructive to their careers, which is when things stop being simple.

We were lying on your couch

I remember

You took a Polaroid of us

Dianna, Harry, and Taylor are all well known for using polaroid cameras. There are Polaroid photos of Swiftgron. I think it is notable that Taylor and Harry were both close friends with Ed Sheeran. ( Ed was even present at many of their stunts.) It is very likely that they met in social circles—and maybe even took a Polaroid together--before doing the stunt. 

Then discovered

The rest of the world was black and white

But we were in screaming color

Screaming color is both a good and bad thing here. It is describing something beautiful and real--real feelings between Taylor and D--but it is also describing how rainbows stand out too much, something Taylor and Harry both had in common as they dove into a bearding commitment. They both had something to hide.

And I remember thinking

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we in the clear yet? In the clear yet, good

The chorus is where Taylor describes the feeling of trying to convince the public that Harry and she are involved—and both straight—while trying to improve or hold onto what remained of her relationship with D. Taylor had been bearding heavily in 2012, first with Connor Kennedy and then with Harry. This was taxing on her relationship with D, which noticeably fell apart around the time she started bearding with Kennedy, rekindled but then disappeared until after Taylor and Harry split. (See this Swiftgron timeline for more info.) She was just trying to succeed and make it through to the other side of her bearding arrangements.

Looking at it now

Last December (last December)

 This is a pointed reference to December 2012 when Haylor was “official” and inseparable.

We were built to fall apart

Then fall back together 

As noted in the bearding analysis linked above, they were built. This implies some forethought while the phrasing removes the agency from the “we” themselves. They were constructed to fall apart when the contract ran out. This also mirrors the D storyline of on and off relationships.

Your necklace hanging from my neck

Again a pointed reference to Harry Styles, with whom she supposedly shared a paper airplane necklace. (In reality, they were not the same necklace, just similar.)

The night we couldn't quite forget

When we decided to move the furniture so we could dance

This is very reminiscent of their night out after 1D’s first Madison Square Garden performance when they did karaoke and danced around in what was an otherwise packed area. They both went back to Taylor’s hotel late at night, the beginning of an extensive series of pap shots of them entering and leaving Taylor’s hotel.

However, the line also seems to be a metaphor for the whole performance of bearding. Neither Taylor nor Harry had ever taken bearding so far as to heavily imply that they were sexually involved. They couldn’t quite forget it no matter how much they wanted to because it was so well documented.

Baby, like we stood a chance

Two paper airplanes flying, flying, flying

Paper airplanes is a reference to their shared necklace, but it is also a metaphor for something that can go far but is fragile. Both Harry and Taylor’s reputation and fame was a paper airplane at that point, with Taylor breaking into pop music and Harry breaking into the American music world while trying to hide their true selves. Trying to sell the Haylor stunt and distract from other narratives was perilous, and in the end they didn’t really stand a chance. The media mocked their intense relationship, some even calling it out as a PR set up. But more importantly, both of them failed to hold it together.

CHORUS 

Remember when you hit the brakes too soon

Twenty stitches in a hospital room

When you started crying baby, I did too

But when the sun came up I was looking at you

This references the snowmobile accident on their ski trip and Harry’s injury, but it is also about both of them reaching their breaking point with pretending. They were both crying, hurting, and suddenly looking at each other clearly. They saw how horrible the situation was for both of them and their respective relationships. Harry had been away from his band and bf for most of December, creating strained and painful interactions even visible in interviews. Taylor and D did not appear to be on good terms either.

I believe the last two lines also reference clearly seeing D again and realizing that bearding wasn’t worth losing their relationship.

Remember when we couldn't take the heat

I walked out, I said, I'm setting you free

The pressure of trying to sell their fake relationship is too much. Taylor decides to agree to end the stunt earlier than intended, setting Harry free.

But the monsters turned out to be just trees

When the sun came up you were looking at me

Sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees. The fear of being locked into bearding, spending all their time together, and continuing the lie turned out to be just trees. They were able to navigate the PR narrative so they could leave the relationship but still milk it for press and inspiration. Harry is looking at Taylor and seeing her not as a captor but as someone sharing his situation. There is a lot of empathy in these lines. 

Again, I think those lines also read as D looking back at Taylor and understanding her situation.

Ultimately, Taylor and Harry are able to get out of the woods/bearding and back to their real selves and real relationships. 

Last but not least: The fact that I Know Places and OOTW are the only songs with the theme of fear on 1989 is very interesting to me. In my opinion, IKP is about hiding and protecting the real relationship while OOTW is about selling and getting through extremely public (as Haylor was amazingly well documented) bearding. If we ever wondered if Taylor was able to hide relationships, we know from IKP she can but doesn’t choose to with Harry. 

I Know Places is about running, hiding, and trying to protect a secret relationship.

Out of the Woods is about being extremely public and constantly acting to sell a fauxmance.

They are two sides of the same story.