#if i think one nice thing ill say it no filters so let me

[honeyed-disgraceful]

I have beef I have beef so much beef with anyone who tells me I'm too kind and too sweet and too polite and patient to not be fake. Let me be to others who I want others to be for me. I will speak every kind thought and I will treat everyone with utmost gentleness and understanding.

Love wasn't ever given to me. I had to earn it, I still do. I have terrible anger issues that bounce in my skull like feral rats hissing and biting.

Let me see the world better outside of my mind. Let me treat everyone how I wish I were treated. I am not fake for being kind.

You've only never seen me angry because I don't trust you or because you never pissed me off.

I will tell everyone how nice the little details about them are and I will die on this hill. I will give the benefit of the doubt to small mistakes instead of demonising a person until they prove me they deserve the criticism.

There is worse in this world and just because I don't agree when you call someone "ugly" or a "slut" I am not fake.

I call out bigotry when I see it and just because you've never seen me in a political setting it doesn't mean my kindness is a way to take advantage of anyone. No one can do anything for me because I do everything myself anyway. My appreciation does not come from a place of need but simply because the little qualities in people are beautiful and since I talk so little already I will not stifle the good things coming out of my mouth as I think them out of fear someone will misinterpret.

All the people that got to know me used to think I was fake and even mean behind a sweet façade and Guess What?

We hang out and have the time of our lives now and I love them a lot. I don't know if they care about me as much as I care about them as much as I care about them, but they know I mean what I say and I say what I mean. Always.

[beatbawksradio]

slán

[schizoidcel]

## BOOTHILL x READER ★

🤍 ﹒ HEADCANONS ! ! . .

－ notes ̽ ۪⠀written before his release + gn reader huhu. yall i swear ill get to the lcb requests but im brainrotting too fucking much right now boothill is colonizing my mind so enjoy these thoughts i had and will throw into the tags

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

He's a little spoon and NOBODY can convince me otherwise period.

We know damn well hes touch starved. So ofcourse he'd wanna be nuzzled up inbetween your chest and chin

Will teach you how to ride a horse. He definitely has a favourite (his name is Sebastian 🌚🌚)

Very protective over him though. You will not ride on that horse until you are months into the relationship

He gave you another horse to practice riding on and an extra horse incase the other "knocks your socks off" ... Whatever that means

You named them Yee and Haw and he was so conflicted with his emotions that he considered getting a routine check up on his body

Will tease you if you completely fuck up immediately.

He grabs your hands to gesture on things you should be wary about while being on the back of a horse, knowing it'll mess your brain up and lead you to not pay attention to a single thing coming out of his mouth

On the other hand if you're able to handle it in a short amount of time, he'll start flirting with you

"I'm doing it, Boo!" "Nice work, honeybunch. Think ya can manage ridin' somethin' else?" "Dude"

It's one or the other. You will not escape the Boothill down bad programm

Boothill also acts like a himbo to mess around with you.

On another note, you called him Bootyhill once and he's still shook up. Whether /pos or /neg is up to interpretation

While we're on the topic of nick/pet names, he calls you things you've never heard of before .

Or even if you did, they're things you expected never to be called 😭

What the fuck is a doodlebug Boothill

Type of man to get flustered when you flirt back. He just starts bugging out

Will play it cool though, but the faint blue on his cheeks says otherwise

Also a fan of headpats. No, he's not ashamed. No, he will not tell you.

Expanding on the no shame, Boothill takes it to the extreme

No filter, no mask, no nothing. Touchy EVERYWHERE you go

Even if he can't really feel it, he just feels more at ease when you both are near eachother or touch one another. Man wants to protect his partner, after all

It dosen't matter if you're able to protect yourself, the gesture just makes him feel more comfortable and calm

Also has a hair pulling kink woah. Let's keep it sfw everybody

Forehead kisses ❤️ or just kisses anywhere on his head in general. Kiss behind his ears and he will overheat

He let's you play with his hair<3 It's one of his favourite passtimes with you

Braid it, tie it in a ponytail, give him buns, pigtails, curl them, decorate them with hairpins, clip bows in his strands it don't matter PLAY WITH HIS HAIR ⁉️

He relaxes SO MUCH it's insane. Genuinely just one finger goes into that hair of his and he melts

This plays into the little spoon factor

You'd tease him about it but he takes pride in it 😭

Has a weird obsession with biting. If you complain that it hurts he goes "What, want me to smooch the pain away?" and he does this fuckass face :3 while you're just staring at him dead in the eye (you say yes btw)

If you're ticklish, he's hell for you

Tickles you in the most random times possible.

And you know it's even WORSE with those cold ass metalic hands

You're cuddling? The sides of your torso are not safe. You're currently occupied with an activity involving your hands? Your armpits are not safe either. He's laying on your bare stomache face down? He starts blowing raspberries.

You know damn well he uses the feathers of his hat 😭

Sticks it up your nose to make you sneeze too. Usually to wake you up or some shit

You could have the most volcano eruption alert level 5 sneeze and he'd still say "Aww, ya sneeze like a kitten!"

One last note this man is a whiney loser bottom not sorry

the word ill is in boothill for a reason the way im laying in bed all sweaty ANYway 🌚😵😵😵😵

ૢ་༘࿐ thank you for reading ! Ⳋ᧙

[secretlilsis]

Big brother just functioned differently from her. She had often cut herself on that, emotionally, of course. But it was also what in her eyes, often made him years ahead of her - but what also endearingly made him completely blind on other areas, like he was fumbling in the dark.

No matter how often they talked, she felt there was a lot she didnt understand and possibly never would.

So when big brother told her that the obsession he felt to her, wasnt good for either of them, she played along - she played the role she was sure he wanted to see, she feigned a emotional maturity and logical understanding she did not posess. She agreed that it wasnt good, and admitted that maybe she was even a little bit uncomfortable with it.

But on the inside she felt confusion, why did he see it as something unhealthy for them? Why did he want to change how things were? When she thought about it, each time it had come up remotely, he had always been so apologetic about it, and that in spite of not truly being capable to feel any semblance of guilt

Sometimes she wondered whether that only was cause he assumed there was no way she could enjoy this or like it whatsoever, or whether like she knew - he had always shielded her of the darker aspects of this obsession, that she herself only enjoyed the throughly filtered, and consume-ready presented aspects of it he himself allowed her to see and experience.

She wondered if it was that she maybe really wouldnt enjoy it if his obsession became more overt, rather than the nicely, comfortingly filtered tailor-fitted version of it she knew, or whether maybe he was simply under the impression she could never like any aspect of it to start with and considered all of it a discomfort.

She bit down on her tongue, almost as an act of self-aggression. She didnt like the idea, that maybe - just maybe, if she told him the truth of how she felt - that she enjoyed it, that she loved how he looked at her - as if he wanted to own all of her, consume her entirely.. that she enjoyed it so much.. that maybe hed stop trying as hard?

She hated thinking and feeling it, because she felt maybe there was a great illoyality towards him within that, but she felt it anyways. If he stops thinking this is something to apologize for and understands how I truly feel, our dynamic will change once more, in a direction she could not control or foresee. She didnt like it.

She burried herself in his chest, his eyes mustering her steadily - then suddenly softening "What? Do you want something?" He teased. "You know what I want.." She whispered, their skin sticking to one another because of the heat around them. It was a hot summer day. She didnt want to think, she didnt want to feel confused, naive or guilty she mit feel - she wanted him all over her instead. "Of course I do, but it doesnt hurt to hear you say it, does it?" He grinned into her. He always looked so happy to know she wanted him back in that way. "I want you.. inside of me.. big brother.." She mumbled into his shoulder, half hiding her face from him. "Alright, ill give you what you want..." He started to play with her breasts, teasing her nipples and shed slowly let go of any doubt or unpleasant feeling she had - only feeling him, like he was the entire anchor point of the world, like without him shed simply slide off the world like gravity did not exist. His touch felt warm, known yet exciting. He always looked at her with that intensity when touching her, there was something so posessive about even the most gentle of sexual acts, as long as he was the one doing it. By the time his hands reached inside her panties she was already beyond wet, she could feel his grin widen. He loved knowing how much she enjoyed him. "Youre so good at this big brother.. It feels.. so.. so good." She whispered. "I love it so much.." her voice sounded mellow, lost in the heat of the moment. She felt that feeling all over her body, yet somehow still coming from that sunken place deep within her - this was good, this was what she needed, and yet it wasnt enough. She needed to feel him more. She wanted to make this moment last forever. Her voice echoing through the room, one moan after another. Until he finally put his member inside her, and she felt herself reaching even higher heights. She wondered what that was called, when you have everything you want right there, but you want it so badly, that you want it more than is possible. You feel so fullfilled, so good, so sexed out, so high on it - and yet its not enough. Never enough.

She wanted him like this more than anything, and she fully knew that whilst he could see the pleasure in her face, and he felt he was owning her in his own words - he didnt know, not even a tiny little bit how intense she herself felt. And she didnt understand why she couldnt tell him.

She loved him, she loved most of him in silence, most of it was never said out loud, even though they already were so close and shared so many secrets. "Fuck im close to cumming.." He whispered into her ear, her body tensed up in sheer arousal and anticipation.. "Me too.." She responded. He looked at her, all over her body - taking her in, and kissed her right then and there, "Of course you are, my perfect girl." They both climaxed, and their heavy, tired bodies hit the bed and seperated again after coming together so closely. He looked at her with vibrant and awake eyes, she looked at him too and wondered, why it was so much easier to do this over and over again, instead of expressing half of what she thought and felt.

His eyes were so full of affection in that moment, laced with a generous amount of posessiveness. She knew though that no matter how hard he looked at her, hed never be able to look into her just in that same way. Maybe it was better that way?

[sweet-drmzzz]

wowowowow I’m finally doing a pinned post

Hiya!! My names are Z-Fey, and Faele (pronounced fey-elle)!! I am the host of a median collective, and this is my/our main blog. You can find our plural side blog here: @treehousearchive

I go by Fae/Zi/It/They pronouns, and idrc how the grammar around them works (so you could say “fae are a person with adhd” or “fae is a person with adhd.” Please use my neopronouns as much as, if not more than you use they/it

if you misgender me I’ll eat ur knees /hj

I am faekin and foxkin, and I’m absolutely amazing at it. Don’t try to disprove alterhuman shit. I won’t listen. Also keep any alterhuman discourse off this blog. All nonhumans are welcome here. Yes even physical ones. Yes even ones that truly believe they are an animal. Yes even mentally ill/delusional ones.

Collectively we are aspec and arospec. Afaik that goes for everyone in our collective but I could be wrong.

currently I don’t check my discord, if you need to reach me my asks and DMs on here are the fastest ways.

I use a lot of emoticons, abbreviations, and tone tags :3

tone tag key:

/lh- light hearted

/j- joking

/hj- half joking

/sarc- sarcasm

/nm- not mean

/nf- not forced

/gen- genuine

/aesth- aesthetic (used to describe aesthetic attraction. Ex. “He’s hot /aesth”

if I ever use one u don’t understand just ask! I’m more then willing to inform!

DNI:

Pedos. Like genuinely. Pedos maps etc fucking disgust me. Stay tf away from my blog

Zionist. Yeah nuhuh. If u support genocide I don’t want to talk to u.

Homophobes/Transphobes. I’m gay asf. I don’t think you want to be here.

Zoophiles. No. Just no.

Anti furry/Anti alterhuman. Once again. I’m a therian. Y would u want to be here???

Sexual/kink blogs. Nothing against you, have ur fun. Idrc. I’m just not comfy w that.

Anti-endos. I don’t want that negativity on my blog. All good vibes here.

If you demonize mental illnesses (like schizophrenia or npd) fuck off. If you use “delulu” or treat serious mental illnesses as silly little things fuck off.

Anti aro/aspec. This shouldn’t even be a thing? Just let people exist?

if I don’t like u I’ll block u.

With all due respect, which is none, leave me alone.

Tags!!

#Happy Fox Hours

Foxkin euphoria and just generally happy foxkin related stuff

#Happy Fae Hours

Second verse, same as the first but w fae stuff this time.

#Zi speak!!

text posts and me ranting

#Soda Spill

My writing. Includes poetry and short stories/snippets from bigger stories. (Please note that since originally making this I have stopped using the name Soda, as that has gone to one of my headmates. This tag may change soon.)

#Faele agrees

Rebolgs!! I might forget to tag my rebolgs. I’ll try my best but if I do my apologies.

#Sad bitch time

vents n stuff. Me being depressed.

Boundaries: mostly im fine with anything.

pls don’t tag me in angelic/religious stuff, or send it to me. Especially if it has eyes featured prominently.

uhh i feel like this shouldn’t need to be said but just in case: foxes are a game animal where I live. I already see my kind’s hides enough. Don’t show me pics of that.

just yk… if i ask u to quit do so please. There’s nothing rly big other than those two things that I can think of. Be nice.

My filter tag list is here. If you are intentionally rude and disrespectful about it you will be blocked.

I have a side blog for Will wood stuff called @willwooddaily

thank you for your time!!

[the-name-is-z]

SKELETONS | ch. 5

daryl dixon x f!oc

masterlist

a03 link

Summary: After being invited into the CDC by Dr. Jenner, the group receives some disappointing news. Warnings/Information: AMC's The Walking Dead OC Insert | 18+ Advised | strangers to lovers; the slowest of slow burns; gore; angst; horror; humour; m/f; descriptions of infection, illness, death

Chapter 5 - Dr. Jenner

The ride downward was awkward and stifling, the entire group loaded into the large, industrial size elevator carrying them all easily.

“Doctors always go around packing heat like that?” Daryl asked, breaking the silence.

“There were plenty left lying around. I familiarized myself.” Dr. Jenner replied with a twinge of amusement, a smirk playing on his lips. “But you look harmless enough. Except you.” He joked, looking to Carl. “I’ll have to keep my eye on you.” The boy smiled.

Jenner led them through long hallways lit by fluorescent bulbs, everything coated in a sterile, uncomfortable aura. It was almost like a hospital, but there was no one here but them. So far, at least.

“Are we underground?” Carol asked as they followed him.

“Are you claustrophobic?” He asked, catching the nervous tone of her voice.

“A little.” She murmured.

“Try not to think about it.” He replied simply. Iris bit down on her tongue, trying not to grin. She liked how nonchalant he seemed about the whole thing. It was nice not to feel as if you were choking on the intensity of every given situation in every moment of the day. 

The hallway led to an enormous room at the end, shrouded in darkness.

“Vi, bring up the lights in the big room.” He called. A loud, engaging noise echoed through the room as a circle of LED lights illuminated the large supercomputer in the center. Jenner half-turned toward them, over his shoulder. “Welcome to zone five.”

“Where is everybody?” Rick asked, voicing everyone’s unspoken question. “The other doctors, the staff?” Jenner turned back as they filtered in, slowly.

“I’m it.” He answered. The way he said it indicated it had been that way for a while now. Perhaps that was why he seemed to find it all so uninteresting. “It’s just me here.”

“What about the person you were speaking with?” Lori asked. “Vi?” Iris raised an eyebrow.

“It’s a computer.” She answered, gesturing in front of them.

“Vi, say hello to our guests.” Jenner said loudly. “Tell them, welcome.”

“Hello, guests. Welcome.” The computerized voice spoke through speakers in the ceiling, and Iris accepted the disapproving frown from Lori. 

“I’m all that’s left.” Jenner repeated. “I’m sorry.”

-

Iris frowned as Jenner tightened the rubber tourniquet on her arm.

“Sorry.” She muttered. “Shitty veins.” He shrugged as they waited a moment, Iris flexing her wrist. He managed to find one after poking her a few times, fixing the collection tube to the specialized needle. It filled quickly with deep crimson blood and he pulled it off, retracting the needle and sliding the box of bandages in her direction.

“Doesn’t help that you’re all dehydrated.” He replied, shrugging again. Iris hummed, watching as he pulled a pen from his pocket. “Name?”

“Iris.” She replied. He labeled the tube, placing it with the others to be tested later.

“What’s the point?” Andrea asked, looking around the classroom he’d brought them to, each of them waiting for their turn. “If we were infected we’d all be running a fever.”

“I’ve already broken every rule in the book letting you in here.” Jenner replied. “Let me just at least be thorough.”

“Whatever makes you feel better.” Iris shrugged, fixing the bandage to her arm before taking a seat, cross-legged on a desk. Andrea openly groaned, leaning her head back against the wall. Jacqui supported her, running a hand across her back.

“Are you okay?” Jenner asked, frowning.

“She hasn’t eaten in days.” Jacqui replied. “None of us have.”

-

Iris didn’t drink much anymore, and she enjoyed how jovial the wine seemed to make everyone else. Dale didn’t spare a drop as he poured a glass for everyone, and Jenner seemed content to let them raid the CDC stores. He’d given them access to a feast’s amount of food, the whole group surrounding a large grey table in the cafeteria space.

“You know, in Italy, children have a bit of wine with dinner. And in France.” Dale stated cheerfully, making a face at Carl. Carl looked up at his mom.

“Well, when Carl is in Italy or France, he can have some then.” She said sternly, a hand over the top of his glass.

“What’s it gonna hurt? Come on.” Rick chided. Lori, flabbergasted, stopped mid-sip, removing her hand as she stared at her husband. Dale gave Carl a splash and they watched as he took a sip. He spat it out, making a face, everyone laughing.

“That’s my boy. That’s my boy.” Lori nodded.

“Yuck. That tastes nasty.” Carl muttered. Iris chuckled.

“More for me, please.” She asked, offering her glass to Dale, who gladly obliged.

“Not you, Glenn.” Daryl stated as Glenn examined the bottle.

“What?” He asked, looking up.

“Keep drinking, little man. I want to see how red your face can get.” Daryl joked.

“Says you.” Iris replied, taking a sip. The group laughed and Daryl turned, obviously intoxicated, and had the audacity to seem offended. Though, he drowned his offence in the bottle of whiskey he’d conjured up.

Rick gently tapped his fork against his glass, standing up as he addressed them all.

“It seems to me that we haven’t properly thanked our host.” He stated simply. Iris turned to Jenner, who seemed to be zoned out. He hadn’t engaged much with them, and it made her uncomfortable. A suspicious, too-good-to-be-true sort of situation.

“More than just a host.” T-Dog added on as he raised his glass. They all lifted their cups to him, offering small toasts and small thanks. The doctor raised his glass in turn, meeting a few of their gazes, but he was somewhere else.

“So when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, Doc?” Shane asked, slicing through the cheerful ambiance. “All the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened… where are they?”

“We’re celebrating, Shane.” Rick chastised. “We don’t need to do this now.”

“Woah, wait a second.” Shane paused. “This is why we’re here, right? This was your move, supposed to find all the answers. Instead, we found him. We found one man. Why?” He half-turned to Jenner expectantly, and the doctor returned his accusing gaze warily.

“Well, when things got bad, a lot of people just left. Went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted.” Jenner explained.

“Every last one?” Shane asked.

“No.” Jenner replied, now looking at him sharply. “Many couldn’t face walking out the door. They opted out. There was a rash of suicides. That was a bad time.” He looked down at his hands and Iris watched. Something about him was defensive, performative. How long had he been her alone, and why hadn’t he made a change?

“You didn’t leave.” Andrea observed shrewdly. “Why?”

“I just kept working.” He replied, looking up again. There was that expression, the performative one. “Hoping to do some good.” Iris raised an eyebrow.

“Dude, you are such a buzzkill, man.” Glenn muttered, scowling at Shane. 

When they’d finished eating, Jenner led them down yet another hallway, appearing to be a series of blank doors with nothing remarkable about it.

“Most of the facility’s powered down, including housing, so you’ll have to make do here.” He explained. “The couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you like. There’s a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy. Just don’t plug in the video games, okay? Or anything that draws power. The same applies— if you shower, go easy on the hot water.” 

Glenn turned around, the biggest grin on his face.

“Hot water?” He asked. Iris had to admit, a shower was sounding heavenly. It had definitely been far too long since she last had one.

“That’s what the man said.” T-Dog replied, an equally huge grin on his face. 

They all got their things sorted and separated, each of them claiming a turn in the showers rather quickly. Iris groaned out loud as the hot water poured across her skin. She turned her face up, feeling it run across her eyes. She deliberately refused to watch the dirty water drain away, not wanting to know just how much filth she’d been living in. Rick even joined Lori in the shower, while Shane preferred the company of that whiskey bottle. Dale even found a robe to snuggle up in afterward. 

The feeling of soft, clean clothes was something Iris knew she appreciated more than ever before. Yet, it all seemed to still function as a distraction. Something was missing, something was not right. The pounding of her wine-induced headache, however, made it hard to concentrate on. 

Iris heard the slam of a door and watched as Shane stormed down the hallway, three long scratches across his face and neck, fresh. She said nothing as he passed her, and he said nothing in return.

-

In the morning, Iris followed everyone’s sleepy trails toward the cafeteria, where most of them hoped to drown their hangovers in cereal, bacon and orange juice. Miraculously, all of those things were available to them.

“Are you hungover?” Carl asked, messing with his cereal as his dad approached the table. “Mom said you’d be hungover.”

“Well, mom’s right.” Rick chuckled, taking a seat beside Lori.

“Mom has that annoying habit.” Lori mused, grinning to herself.

“Eggs!” T-Dog called, walking in with a frying pan. “Powdered, but I do ‘em good.” Glenn groaned at his volume, clutching his throbbing head. Jacqui rubbed his shoulders sympathetically. “Bet you can’t tell. Protein helps the hangover.”

“Where’d all this come from?” Rick asked.

“Jenner.” Iris replied, tossing Rick and Glenn a few bottles of Aspirin the doctor had given her.

“Thank you.” They both groaned.

“Don’t ever, ever, ever let me drink again.” Glenn grumbled.

“Hey.” Shane called, walking in. He was wearing his cop uniform today, which made Iris pause. Perhaps he was relying on the collar to hide the scratch marks. Lori refused to make eye contact with him, which Iris noted.

“The hell happened to you? Your neck…” T-Dog asked, angling his head to get a better look. Shane pulled the collar up, brushing against the marks.

“Must have done it in my sleep.” He replied, shrugging. Iris blinked at him and he made eye contact with her, staring hard.

“Never seen you do that before.” Rick stated.

“Me neither. Not like me at all.” Shane shrugged again, making a point to look at Lori when he said it. Iris said nothing, taking a long sip of coffee.

“Morning.” Jenner greeted, walking in to help himself.

“Hey, Doc.” 

“Doctor, I don’t mean to slam you with questions first thing—“ Dale started.

“But you will anyway.” Jenner said with half-hearted amusement.

“We didn’t come here for the eggs.” Andrea said pointedly.

“Though they are appreciated.” Iris countered. Jenner turned around with his coffee, nodding.

He led them to the central room with Vi, the computer. The lights came on automatically and he took a seat at the central terminal. The group filed in, turning toward the large screen occupying one wall.

“Give me a playback of TS-19.” Jenner called. 

“Playback of TS-19.” Vi echoed. The screen shuddered to life, loading a set of data with MRI scans and other medical files.

“Few people ever got to see this.” Jenner narrated. “Very few.” There was a running time at the bottom and they watched as the scan changed, illuminating parts of the brain as heart rate and brain activity was monitored on the side.

“Is that a brain?” Carl asked.

“An extraordinary one.” Jenner replied. “Not that it matters in the end. Take us in for E.I.V..”

“Enhanced Internal View.” The scan shifted to a virtual camera and zoomed in to depict the network of synapses inside the brain. They watched as electrical impulses shifted across dendrites at lightning speed. 

“What are those lights?” Shane asked. 

“It’s a person’s life. Experiences, memories. It’s everything.” Jenner replied poetically. Iris raised an eyebrow. “Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you— the thing that makes you unique and human.”

“You don’t make sense ever?” Daryl asked.

“Those are synapses. Electrical impulses in the brain that carry all the messages.” Jenner explained more clearly. “They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death.”

“Death? That’s what this is, a vigil?” Rick asked.

“Yes. Or rather, the playback of the vigil.” Jenner answered.

“This person died? Who?” Andrea wondered sadly, looking up at the screen as if this person meant everything to her.

“Test Subject 19. Someone who was bitten and infected and volunteered to have us record the process. Vi, scan forward to the first event.”

“Scanning to first event.” As the image flashed forward, the synapses from the nape of the neck, spreading through the brain went black, the infection slowly spreading through the nervous system.

“What is that?” Glenn asked.

“It invades the brain like meningitis.” Jenner explained slowly. The person on the screen shifted as they coughed, writhing in pain as the infection took over. “The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs.” The person’s brainwaves disappeared all at once, all light across the scan dimming to black. “Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be, gone.”

“Is that what happened to Jim?” Sophia asked.

“Yes.” Carol answered solemnly. Andrea broke down, tears flowing down her face.

“She lost somebody two days ago. Her sister.” Lori explained as Jenner frowned at Andrea.

“I lost somebody too. I know how devastating it is.” He said simply, nodding. “Scan to the second event.”

“Scanning to second event.”

“The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes.” He murmured as they turned back to the screen. “The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute, seven seconds.” The blackened nerves at the base of the brain stem turned bright again, this time red light blooming through the synapses. It was slower, more sparse.

“It restarts the brain?” Lori asked.

“No, just the brain stem. Basically, it gets them up and moving.”

“But they’re not alive?” Rick asked.

“You tell me.” Jenner shrugged. Iris scoffed, shaking her head. The ethical dilemma over whether or not to kill walkers was a little ways behind them. 

“It’s nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark.”

“There’s nothing left of who they were. They’re mindless now.” Iris said darkly. “That is not life. It’s… undeath.”

“Yes. The frontal lobe, the neocortex— the human part. That doesn’t come back. The you part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct.” Jenner agreed. They watched as a bright light shot across the frame, cutting through the skull and brain of the walker.

“God, what was that?” Carol jumped.

“A bullet.” Iris replied, turning away.

“Vi, power down the main screen and the workstations.” Jenner commanded.

“Powering down main screen and workstations.”

“You have no idea what it is, do you?” Andrea stated accusingly, folding her arms across her chest.

“It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal.” He mused, uninterested.

“Or the wrath of God?” Jacqui asked, the light behind her eyes dimming hopelessly. Iris blew a hair out of her face, leaning against a desk. 

“There is that.” Jenner considered.

“Somebody must know something.” Andrea insisted. “Somebody. Somewhere.”

“There are others, right? Other facilities?” Carol asked.

“There may be some. People like me.” Jenner shrugged.

“But you don’t know? How can you not know?” Rick asked, impassioned.

“He doesn’t care.” Iris stated. “Right? You barely let us in.”

“Everything went down. Communications, directives, all of it. I’ve been in the dark for almost a month.” Jenner muttered.

“So it’s not just here. There’s nothing left anywhere. Nothing?” Andrea scoffed. “That’s what you’re really saying, right?” Jenner said nothing, looking down at the floor.

“Jesus.” Jacqui muttered. 

“Man, I’m gonna get shitfaced drunk again.” Daryl grumbled, running his hands over his face.

“Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but that clock. It’s counting down.” Dale stated. Iris whipped her head around, following Dale’s gaze to a red shot clock on the wall. It was indeed counting down, one hour remaining. She stood straighter, switching into fight-or-flight. “What happens at zero?”

[le-panda-chocovore]

Can I ask from this ask game : https://www.tumblr.com/toomanyfandomsthings/749729499738996736/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-ill-tell-you?source=share

No. 2, 10, 11, 12, 15 for SuguSato, BokuAka, AziraCrow, and Karushuu.....Thanks 🌻

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!

2. What do their love letters look like ?

SuguSato : Suguru is chill and poetic, he writes normally and puts some cute sentences here and there. He also has to remind his boyfriend to not make a mess while he's away. He signs it with "Love, Suguru" and his writing is super neat. Satoru rambles too much and writes completely irrelevant things and probably signs with "XOXO" and a ridiculously cute thing like "your babe" or "the person you love the most", he changes often. His love confessions are overwhelming because he just says what he's thinking without filter and he really loves Suguru very very much.

BokuAka : Bokuto doesn't know how to write a love letter. He talks about his day and describes everything that reminded him of Akaashi. He also compares Akaashi to random things like a dishwasher or a curtain (it makes sense in his brain, but only his). Akaashi is confused but finds that cute anyway. Akaashi is a bit more poetic, he writes pretty things and says I love you and I hope you're doing fine.

AziraCrow : Aziraphale's love letters are 10 pages long and full of metaphors and poems and comparisons and adoration. He sometimes sends an entire book or a collection of texts with his letter, saying "this represents how I feel about you" Crowley's love letters are 1000 words max but he's very clear about his feelings. It's easier for him to write down things than tell them face-to-face. Sometimes he just writes "Thinking of you. I miss you. Take care." and that's all. Aziraphale loves it.

Karushuu : Gakushuu writes like a general sending battle directives during a war, he signs it with "do not die until my return" or something like that. Karma's letters are... messy. Full of hearts and emojis and petnames (mostly to make fun of Shuu), he's purposely exaggerating to embarrass his boyfriend, he shares random anecdotes then says "are you missing me ? 😔❤". One time he put glitter in the envelope and Gakushuu still holds a grudge against him.

10. What TV shows do they watch together, and which ones do they hide from the other ?

SuguSato : Satoru made Suguru watch Digimon. Suguru secretly likes Barbieverse while Satoru pretends to not like Beauty & Fashion TV shows.

BokuAka : They watch Avatar: The Last Airbender and Percy Jackson & the Olympians together. I don't think they particularly hide anything from each other but perhaps Akaashi enjoys some chill shows on his own.

AziraCrow : Aziraphale watches BBC Sherlock when Crowley's not here, and Crowley watches house decoration or prank shows. When they're together they watch Cooking Shows.

Karushuu : They watch those Quiz Games and compete with each other on their couch, they try to find the answer before the participants. Alone, Gakushuu watches documentaries, and Karma watches telenovelas or reality shows to laugh at dumb people on TV.

11. What was their first impression of each other ?

SuguSato : Satoru -> "Bangs. Earrings. Baggy. Is he... a delinquent ?!" | Suguru -> "Pretty... Is this his natural hair color ? How can he be so pretty."

BokuAka : Bokuto -> "I wanna play with him I wanna play with him I wanna play volleyball!!" | Akaashi -> "Bokuto-sempai... I can't believe I'm going to play with him. He seems cool, I don't want to make a bad impression."

AziraCrow : Aziraphale -> "What are they doing.... Are they talking to me . . ?" *then after Crowley lighted up the stars* "Oh ! Oh that's really amazing and wonderful, they're a genius !" | [angel] Crowley -> "Nice lad" (was too focused on the nebulae to think anything about Azi)

*meeting in Eden Garden* Aziraphale -> "Oh that's- wait have they always been so beautiful ? Wait no I'm not supposed to think of that !" | [demon] Crowley -> "Oh wow they aren't a simple obedient angel at all, they're so daring and unpredictable ! Amazing."

Karushuu : Gakushuu -> "He looks so arrogant, but he never going to reach my level, I won't need to worry about him." | Karma -> "Fucking Nerd, he seems so annoying, I can't want to steal his first place and see his crying face."

12. What do they do for their anniversary ?

SuguSato : Vacations on the beach and long talk about how much they love each other.

BokuAka : Chilling day, staying at home to watch a movie and eat pancakes, perhaps a breakfast in bed.

AziraCrow : Dinner at Ritz and a long night walk under the stars.

Karushuu : They change for every birthday, they have a competition for the one who gives the greatest gift. Gakushuu won by proposing to Karma when they were 24. (Gifts included : Shuu stealing his father's credit card and walking through the town with his boyfriend, buying him everything he wants ; a weekend trip to a hot spring ; a serenade at 5am (Gakushuu almost killed his boyfriend) ; and other things.)

15. What would they change about each other ?

SuguSato : Canonically ? Nothing, they would change themselves for the other. In the AU where everything is fine ? Suguru would like Satoru to be more considerate toward others and Satoru would like Suguru to take better care of himself.

BokuAka : They're married, what is there to change about them ?

AziraCrow : Nothing. They would pretend to but actually, they wouldn't change a thing. (they would just like it if the other recognized being actually nice/a bastard out loud). Okay I changed my mind. They would make the other stop pretending to not be who they really are.

Karushuu : Karma wishes Gakushuu would break more rules and Gakushuu would like Karma to break way less.

_______________________________________

YAY IT'S OVER AND I DIDN'T TAKE 3 WEEKS TO POST IT THIS TIME !! Be proud of me :3

I'm mostly talking about High School BokuAka here, not the post-timeskip where they're both adults.

Next time send me just 1 ship at time because I'm losing myself trying to figure out how to do everyone LMAO

[thewizardprincessau]

hey. dont cry. dissection of the passerine animatic + the accompanying character study ok? ok.

tldr: my son chun tao she is so fucking ill

Honestly Passerine is THE Chun Tao song. To me. bc it fits really well with his religious guilt, but i also like to recontextualize the chorus to instead be him talking about eri. they were the one really pulling the weight during the early days of their friendship, and chun tao feels a lot of guilt for that

but first! the animatic! it centers around chun tao's guilt for eri being so sweet to him despite him being a stoic ass cold bitch. i actually color-picked the palette from the album cover of eurus (that passerine is from) and slapped on a noise filter to achieve that same grainy effect. it looks nice 2 me.

eri is represented in a distinguishing yellow, someone bright and unique to chun tao, while he himself is colored in the same white as all the other details in the background. While making him the same color as the lyrics helped establish they were His thoughts, him blending in w everything else while eri has their own unique color is his way of putting eri on a pedestal, viewing them as more important than he'll ever be. they're the monarch and he's just their prince consort. that's how he always thought of it.

i dont have much to say about these frames in particular but here are their corresponding parts in the study! theyre just meant to establish their relationship w one another before leading up to the next part, where he sees eri as this blinding light, but just cant let go of that one sign of weakness they had shown him during their wedding. a small glimpse of a them he didnt quite understand yet, and never made the effort to.

at some point, chun tao Snaps and berates eri for trying to get so close to him. at first i wasnt sure if his mindset made.. sense? but connecting the dots from earlier, it DOES make sense if you see it through the point of view that he sees eri as someone above him. chun tao isnt someone who deals with people and he's used to impersonal business relationships and he thought this would be another one of those which is why he's so shocked, caught off-guard, even offended at eri threatening his status quo. brother hates vulnerability, and it terrified him that someone was trying to get through his walls, so all he could do was lash out.

im not absolving eri of blame either though.. i think they still had some wrong in not immediately recognizing chun tao's boundaries. they were so eager to be her friend, they dont realize they might come across as overbearing. and they were, in a sense, but chun tao does also realize its unfair to them to take their innocent gestures of friendliness with so much malice. they just have conflicting ideas on the world, and it clashed, and no one's totally wrong but no one's totally right, they were just coming from their own places.

In here chun tao watches as eri reels back and apologizes for all the things she had shouted at them at. but it's also the same moment chun tao realizes that she does Not know much of anything about eri at all. it's very faint, but there's the outline of a sobbing younger eri staring straight at the screen, supposedly at chun tao, like a reminder of the eri she never got to meet herself. one that was hurting just like her. and that younger eri still resides in the one standing before her crying too, she just never got to see that side to them because she never bothered to figure that side to them out. (AND the "your" is intentionally written twice, like its referring to both eri in the present and eri in the past. by failing to understand them, chun tao feels like he's failing both eris.)

as mentioned earlier, chun tao gets mad at eri for having a "perfect life" and thinks theyd never understand her. but. the thing is. chun tao isnt LETTING them understand her. she keeps pushing them away. and she realizes it was presumptuous to assume they would understand her, because well. she.. doesnt even know what eri's Been through atp. she just assumed eri's life's been perfect because theyre so composed and chipper, but she didnt know who they were a couple years ago at all. she thinks that bc eri's secret relationship is lovey-dovey that their love is perfect, but chun tao didn't see their toxic yuri of a start and that they face a lot of problems as a couple too. chun tao thinks that bc eri is so well-loved by the public that thats that, but she remembers that people gossiped AND gossip hard about them bc of their status as a non-sorcerer. they were dehumanized and alienated by the public too, just like her. and this realization hits her HARD.

he then tries to make an effort to be more involved in eri's life after this point, reconciling with them and becoming their best friend. okay tbh the scene described in the character study is NOT the same as the one pictured in the animatic but i HAD to get a hug in there somewhere.

the last two scenes are a BIG flashforward to ursa's creation, where chun tao is panicking hard about eri literally dying to create their homunculus baby. also ursa is drawn in white but has eri's yellow present too, showing how he's a combination of them, their little kid :D

the whole lyric bit of "but i cant shake this feeling that i was only pushing the spear into your side, again and again and again" is supposed to represent chun tao feeling like a thorn on eri's side causing them pain. he scolded them for being nice to him, and they went on to sacrifice their life in a dangerous ritual to create their son and uphold tradition, but he just feels so so guilty for all of that. he cant shake the feeling that he's a source of their pain and suffering, and it eats him up alive.

-----------------------------------

ok ANYWAY moving on to the CHARACTER STUDY NOW!!!!!!!!!! just parallels and stuff w the writing

guys im a fucking feature writer of course im going to start and end with the same phrase ("chun tao is not a people peson, and his family knows this very well"). chun tao refers to two different families in the opening and closing segments: in the first he refers to his biological family, and in the second its about the family he found and made in quiro. both his families knows he struggles with social interactions, and his bio family (his cousins) make fun of him for it, so he goes on to detail how he views social interactions as a system, a formula he understands. his family in quiro instead tries to HELP him get better at it, and he instead recognizes that social interactions are something personal that require heart and genuine investment (shown in how he notes that ursa cares about him deeply), even moving past his frozen style of speech with the mention of jokes. tldr he's fucking cringefail at socializing and his bio family called him cringe but his chosen family said he's cringe but free. what

Perfect life/love/reputation. At first he hates eri for having these "perfect" things and thinks theyre sooo happy because of it, but later on realizes that their life isnt perfect and neither is his, but he finds joy in what he has anyway :)

the repeated mention of chun tao saying he'd never fall in love with eri bc he's so stuck in his rigid view of romance, but later comes to love eri as his best friend AND love his found family too :'3

chun tao wondering earlier if she should try to emulate eri's pleasantries, and ends up doing so later down the line! both lines have the same structure with the "quick greeting + smile despite being tired"

"Ahia" is Chinese for the eldest brother and it's also used to refer to children to know their birth order. Chun Tao calling Ursa this is an acknowledgement of him going to be a big brother soon! tbh in my head thats what the meeting eri called for is about but its just my headcanon (<== SAID THE ONE WRITING THE STORY)

ALSO i dont have screenshots to show but eri is only intentionally mentioned by name in the flashforward, to show how back then chun tao only saw them as THE princess/monarch but eventually comes to recognize them as eri, his bestie :3

oh my god i. think thats it? good god. might add onto this if i remember more but. thank you for entertaining my insanity why is this 1400+ words I NEED TO EAT BRUNCH

[artificial-absinthe]

Crazy, how you ask for understanding and end up being slightly vilified by the entitled ppl who are too lazy to litteraly tag a post...

Btw great point with ooc tag. I'd also love it. I'm just scared of rebloging your post as it seems whenever you want personalization, you may be seen as queer fobic and the worst evil, while it's just a preference to see the canon. Like litteraly ppl don't get that if they'd start making Megatron in green colours just because they like it, the ooc tag would be nice too.

But of course it's a gender thing so ppl will get offended... and I'm saying this, being in favour of your post, and being fuken queer... It's just sad, cause it's always going to the "oh consider xyz because we feel offended" while the op requesting this may be the nicest ally or queer themselves. But because their bubble is touched, they can't understand that they pierce your bubble as well, in the end turning into the conservative thinking of "I'd not tag my post, cause my idea is more important, or it makes me happy, so fuck you I'm free citizen, and allowed to do what I want"... and then they try to say, they are the opened, inclusive ones... while their thinking is litteraly the same as those, they oppose. It's just funny to me... how ppl just can't take a simple, kind request... they need to go balistic on both sides over it, as I'm also disapointed with those who just ran to harras the person... they are also guilty of asshole type of thinking... It's just sad how even in seemingly progressive place, there are still so many "conservative thinking" assholes...

Eh sorry for the long ramble. Just wanted to tell you, that you're not alone with this thinking. Just wanted to let u know, even that I know you'd say you don't care if someone agrees or not. But still, thank u for this post. Maybe it will change something for the better despite countless idiots who can't take a request like a civilised human beings...

No need to apologize at all. You absolutely understand it all and make very accurate and relevant points, and I totally agree with you.

I didn't even knew that this was still going. I figured some people had, though begrudgingly, accepted to use a tag, and some others would flood the Megatron tag with their occ content without a tag to filter out of spite (exactly with the mindset that you described), because people speaking ill of me doesn't even come to tell me directly, perhaps because they know I genuinely won't be affected by their hate and misplaced adjectives, and so I only know of this when someone else tells me.

On the other hand, while I do not crave for understanding, it's very nice that the people who agree with me voice it, because this request and pointing out is not only for me, but also for everyone else who is tired of the OCC thing flooding the content about a character.

Indeed, you are not the only one who has said this to me, and even before I made that request I had held conversations about how people was tired of it, but also feared voicing it because they, like yourself, were wary about getting the "queerfobic" hate. Which is no more than a shield that people abuse of whenever someone disagrees with their headcanons or anything else. That way they make themselves to be "on the right" and rally sympathizers to share their grudge with and attack the ones disagreeing with them. Which is a very unbecoming thing to do, and I wish they just acknowledged the reasons for what they are. (In this case, not everyone likes mischaracterization/Occ content. Period)

Thus, I decided to be the one to voice it, but it would be good that all the anons and people agreeing with me in private would do it publicly, without being haters themselves as some had been (which was counterproductive, actually), because that way it could be taken seriously and only for what it is... Perhaps... hopefully.

Of course I'm not saying that I don't appreciate that you say it also like this, since I understand that not everyone can be as cold as myself.

[briarborealisart]

Asking all the writeblrs I love to grow a vast garden, apologies if I ask the same thing twice *

Hello! I'm attempting to grow a Tumblr garden, with input from people around here to make a series of short stories about' houseplant fairies. The hope would be to have a 'community tumblr garden' full of all the wholesomeness the internet can offer.

Here's the request/seed - do you have a prior worry' or 'stumbling block'. perhaps an event or a piece of advice others told you that didn't help much or simply an' obstacle that you overcame. To be honest, I'm unsure of how to accurately describe 'the seed' but something in the realm of 'society expectations versus what actually helped- or whatever you wish? Also also, favorite plant/houseplant/ flower to write the story about.

Thanks for participating :)

hello unknown!! this is my main blog and my writeblr is @briarborealisocs but ill just answer here and rb it over there lol since this is kind of a catchall blog anyway

thank u so much for the support as always!! let's see here. this seed i think shall grow into a rose of some sort. a stumbling block of sorts for me was the idea that being your true, authentic self meant saying every thought that came through your head without any filter or regard for how you affect other people. i really bought into the idea that you should never ever change for others, which is a nice sentiment, but one that i took too far. i was mean. i didn't hold any regard for other people's feelings or experiences. we are pretty social creatures and it's good to be considerate of how what you're doing will affect others—even if that means changing the way you would say or do something. :)

[olderthannetfic]

Sorry in advance for treating this like ‘Dear Abby’ but I am in need of some advice from a Queer Adult TM…

So, I have this friend who I’ve known for about ten years now. We’re seventeen right now, so let’s just say we went through allllll the phases together. We realized we were queer together, we had our first fandom experiences together (they were actually the person who introduced me to fanfic, which I’m really grateful for, because ever since it has been an integral part of my life), we were DeviantArt furry artists together circa 2016, it was a lot of embarrassing but also fun times. We are also both… and quite mentally ill and it was nice to have someone to help me through the worst bits (when I didn’t have access to therapy or meds) and how I could help them in return.

Lately (maybe over the past 2 years?) we’ve been drifting apart. I think it has a lot to do with the fact we don’t have many common interests anymore (they stopped caring about mine, and stopped sharing theirs with me), but we still do a lot together. They’re my coworker, a member of my ttrpg group, etc. etc.. Due to social anxiety they were my only friend for many years but now I have a few more, so I don’t mind not being as close to them (and I dislike putting the burden of me being reliant/clingy on them). However, they’ve recently been making it harder and harder for me to keep that friendship.

They smoke weed, get shitty stick and pokes, binge energy drinks and shoplift. I don’t have any moral issue with any of those things, but it’s concerning to me because I know they are not in the the right headspace to make those decisions about substances (and the rest). We have both struggled with mental illness, self-harm, and eating disorders. Part of the reason I drifted away from them is because they have no filter and “vent” about their problems to the point where it is very triggering to me (especially in terms of sh and ed). I don’t mind lending an ear but I also have boundaries that I put in place for myself… But yeah, even though they have access to treatment it seems not to be working, or there’s something hindering it. It really hurts to see them in such a bad place because we started out in similar places in regards to our mental health and now that I’m in a better place, they’re not.

I genuinely love and care about this person, but it’s so hard to help them when they shut down every form of help I + the rest of our mutual friends can offer. They’re very manipulative, I would like to think without meaning to, to the point where they twist my words around (for example, recently they did something extremely inappropriate and when I told them I was concerned for their well-being, they said they were sorry for making me “uncomfortable”). They’re also one of those people that plays oppression Olympics, and insists their parents are homophobic and tried to send them to conversion therapy— I know their parents very well, they are literal leftists who have pride flags in their front yard, campaign for politicians that support queer and trans rights, and attend one of the only completely gay-friendly and supporting churches in the area. But the way they talk about them causes other people to dislike them and think they’re homophobic, which they have noticed. I think it’s cruel to them, and also symptomatic of a larger problem that my friend has— they don’t seem to understand that their actions and words have consequences for other people.

I guess what I wanted to ask was: is it worth cutting this person off? I have a feeling that we were naturally grow even farther apart as we go to university, because our values are very different… They’re an anti, I’m not, they have a very surface-level views of politics and believe everything they read in Instagram infographics, I don’t. I don’t consider myself very mature, but they look very immature next to me. Besides, being around them often ends up negatively impacting me as well. However, I worry that cutting them off will makes things worse for them. I don’t want to see them get even more hurt. My confrontations haven’t been doing anything, but maybe they’ll come to their senses eventually.

I really don’t know what to do in this situation, but I’d appreciate any advice from anyone willing to offer it.

--

Since you're about to go off to college, I'd let the friendship naturally fade.

It's not your job to save this person, and I do think you need to get away from them since they don't seem to be making an effort. But since you're naturally drifting away anyway, I don't think having a big, dramatic friend breakup will help anything.

On another note, everyone should have a moral objection to shoplifting. Not only is it dishonest and a sign that something is fucking wrong with you to shoplift, but shoplifters directly hurt retail peons who will get their pay cut as a result of store losses.

People who do this aren't sticking it to the man. They're parasites who hurt other nobodies.

The fact that a lot of teens (American teens?) think this disgraceful behavior is normal enrages me.

[divorcingjimmatthews]

fresh thoughts / reactions on the new episode (S2E4)

(warning: its LONG but separated in chapters by character so it's like you're reading game of thrones)

on Kenny

KENNY???? kenny???? when ??? Are they going to stop beating my boy??? when is he going to catch a break???? Hes so hurt already stop!!! my sweet boy youre breaking him!!

(*takes a deep breath*)

okay im normal now. i just want to wrap kenny in a warm blanket and give him some hot chocolate. this was devastating. let me start by saying that i really liked that kenny wanted to put sara in the box, it goes to show how even "sweet cinammon roll" characters have their limits and imo his reaction is entirely reasonable. i think he might change his mind after he's had some time to process his feelings but even if he doesn't i still think his stance is understandable.

also... kenny just wants kristi to be happy :') my sweet boy

on Boyd

i think boyd was really interesting this episode, the flashback was great (also—kenny in a hoodie! i manifested it /jk) and what boyd said about himself, that he's just trying to be someone people can look to and think he's got things together and under control even though he doesn't, really helped me put his actions with sara and lying to kenny into perspective. if not for that scene i probably wouldve watched the episode and thought "what the hell boyd?" but the flashback made me realise that i was kinda seeing the character through the filter of "guy who's supposed to know what he's doing". he's put so much effort into building this image of himself that shattering it by acting like just some guy who's under a hell of a lot of stress had catastrophic consequences. he fucked up huge w kenny but i also feel like its unfair that one person has to carry so much weight on his shoulders if that makes sense

on Jade

i want to kill him but also kiss him softly and tell him everything is going to be okay what can i say. he actually smiled this episode :) i loved watching him be nice in his own way. but also damn he's definitely doing worse by the day. the friendship with the bus driver???? superb. a perfect writing choice. i just love the way hes trying to push everyone away but also just starved for human comfort and connection. i was really happy to see him just be with someone so they could at least drown their sorrows together instead of alone. am i shipping them? yes. my ideal jade ship was trudy but they cruelly took her from us so ill have to keep looking for options. anyone around his age is game

also him being just pissed that the matthews were living there now was so funny. "at least you had a house" actual 5 year old behavior. love to see it. you'll warm up to them jade

on Jim

jim you're going to break all your remaining bones can you PLEASE follow the doctors orders and stick to the bed for a while?? he put the experiment theory canonically on the table and i think that's great, i think it's a pretty sound theory though i think there's going to be more to it, not just an experiment to gather data but for some specific purpose that we're yet to know.

on Sara

oh babygirl you really fucked up big time back in season one didnt you. personally i dont blame sara but id be worried that what happened to her could happen again. everything about her was heartbreaking this episode but when she casually said that the boy in white may also be trapped in this place??? dammit. that's a game changer for all of my theories if true. was he ever a normal human boy? do people get supernatural abilities from continued survival / progress in this place or something like that? like martin giving boyd his blood was super deliberate and we've still got to see if it's really gonna be a curse or if it could be a blessing after the initial adjustment period. it stopped his tremors at least and who knows maybe it comes with some extra bonuses like the monsters not seeing you as prey idk. im totally rambling rn.

on Julie

soooo julie and edgin huh. im digging it. theyre cute. i really like julie and i want good things for her. i hurt so much for her when fatima rejected her advances she was so nervous and excited poor sweet bean

on Victor

saving my strongest feelings for last i love victor so much and it hurt me so much to see him hurt and mad at ethan :''') jade look at what you've done. i need this to get fixed. i need them to be friends again. can i just say how well victor has kept it together under the circumstances of well, his whole life? it's like he's nice even when he's mad. there's just something about his character and i love him so much. but i got so sad watching this like ethan tried to stop jade he doesn't deserve the hate !!! but its understandable that victor needs time to get things back to normal. ethan bringing him the drawing supplies also... :') they're so sweet

on Randall (was that his name?)

im literally terrified for him like he wasn't listening to donna's instructions and being on the bus without anything to cover the windows he's prime candidate for the monsters tricking him into pretending to be someone he knows dammitttt its making me so nervous just to think about it. they set him up a lot to just kill him now so i dont think hes realistically gonna die on his first night alone but uhhhhh maybe he will. maybe he will and im worried.

[nowis-scales]

EdeIgard’s New Dawn Approaches…

As does the Engage liveblog, cause after I finish this path, that’s what I’m gonna do! As for Azure Moon, we’ll catch up on that once Echoes is through.

(Emblems:

❃ = Positive, not a problem

❋ = It is entirely neutral

✾ = It’s a bit negative, but it’s told in a joking way

✿ = It is negative and critical

Remember to filter #Fodlan Fault Finding and #Shut Up About Del as needed!)

❋ A noble sentiment, but it would probably mean more if, you know, maybe you weren’t actually directly spitting on everything Dimitri stood for by trying to take over his country, y’know?

I feel like this is a really good example of how EdeIgard gets painted by the fanbase as empathetic without actually being empathetic. In her heart, do I think she wants to do good by people? Sure. But does she really try to understand what other people are thinking, feeling, or desiring? Nope! She’s quite self-righteous, she thinks she knows best. So that’s why I’ve never really vibed with the secret uWu girl act, because like… no? This girl is not secretly a sweetheart, she’d like to be, but she’s not. She’s kinda more fun that way tbh, because it gives her actual moments of sweetness more of a chance to shine. For example, while we all know I think Petra doesn’t feel as close to her, I think it’s sweet that she does try in some capacity to be caring towards her. That’s nice.

Anyway, that’s a tangent. TLDR; Edie stop pretending that what you want is what all other people want. ❋

❋ Oh thank goodness we’ve got another genuinely good moment. ❋

❋ I will be by your side until Ashe shows up with that wedding ring and then I will drop you like a hot potato, but I can’t do that until the end of the game, so I suppose I will be? ❋

✿ Do you think this qualifies as inception? Cause like Arundel’s being impersonated by someone from TWISTD, right? So it’s like, two characters who exist mostly to make EdeIgard’s backstory sad layered onto each other? What would you call that, Woobception?

Alright, I’m sorry, I gave myself license to be mouthy because I really do not care for EdeIgard’s attitude in the confrontation between her and Dimitri, especially because we just go right back to treating her like a hero, but I’ll try to reign it in because I’ll get away from myself. ✿

✿ SHE WAS IN MY HEAD, EDIE

I WANNA SAY THAT YOU WOULD BE THE KIND OF PERSON TO SAY “um your mental illness is just in your head” BUT CONSIDERING THE KING OF DELUSION LINE, THIS IS ACTUALLY NOT INACCURATE AND WILL NOT SUCCEED AS A LOVING JOKE

I AM TRYING TO FINISH THIS PLAYTHROUGH NORMALLY EDIE, PLEASE HELP ME TO DO THAT ✿

✾ EdeIgard in Class: I want Rhea out of power, but I don’t want to hurt her

Also EdeIgard When the Moment Comes: Let’s just kill her and all of the Seiros people, bang bang!

Like I’m sure someone is going to say “that’s kind of a misinterpretation”, but I’m just thinking more in the context of like… peacekeeping work done by the Church, this could be a bad thing. Like the Church would interfere between Adrestia and Faerghus fighting, but if Edie’s all about full Adrestia, she’d want to get rid of that, wouldn’t she? ✾

✿ Call that a humble brag

Also I just need to point to the second last chapter of Verdant Wind

Also also if we’re actively advancing on Fhirdiad where the fuck are they supposed to go ✿

❃ “So when EdeIgard von Hresvelg says this, she is what the youth call a ‘girl boss’. But when I, the Seiros, also known as the Immaculate One-” ❃

[samrieimg]

would love to hear anything you’re willing to say about the fnc concubine au :)

(also hope you’re recovering well man ♥️)

So, the Concubine AU is going to be a hard one to finish and to pace in a way that makes it "redeemable" but also engagingly dark/worth its AU.

That makes me sound like I'm killing puppies, but really when you add non-consent and want something to end happy and also want characters to both be seen as ultimately morally good, you have to lay foundation to get readers to buy that.

to sum up plot summary: events occur pre-canon, Ch!p has a no good very bad day and ends up a prisoner of the human-hating Undersea who don't disguise how little they wish ill will, and he's assigned to the reluctant champion who looks like he'd rather skewer Ch!p. Ch!p finds either he plays into his role or he's going to end up dead.

When I first went into it, I thought "okay, well obviously canon Undersea isn't super dark so I can't go super harsh" and tritons according to DND lore usually spare people based on how good of heart they are.

Then, JR/WI lore said otherwise. Ok. Re-write. Fish people gonna be assholes.

As usual, I love my Ch!p POV, and so that helps balance the dark tone, because you have room for comedy with him.

So from the get go it's going to emphasize Ch!p does not matter to the Undersea. His life is literally seen as less than the life of a fish. He is nothing, and if they spare him, it's not out of regard for him. They can and will revoke and kill him if need be. Ch!p very much faces the "You don't matter :)" severe trauma.

The challenge becomes how to present Gil. It took a few reworks, but with a lot of canon filtering in about his backstory, I settled on selling the narrative he's just as much a prisoner as Ch!p. But still, can't give him too much sympathy right out the gate and Ch!p isn't about to be treated to Gil devolving his entire life story to a human, so it's about non-subtly emphasizing how much of Gil's life is decided for him and how little freedom he has.

And how his human pet he's given is basically the only companionship he gets and how even if he loathes humans, Gil can't pretend forever he's not lonely.

Theres also the fun thing of an impending stack of cards falling as Ch!p does what he does best, and thinks he can lie and bluff and cheat his way out of this situation.

As we know, Gil hates liars :).

Ultimately, story gets to end very happy.

And depending on how much I want to push the bill on the E material, I may go "lets go poetic" or "lets go raunchy." Def E material, but also I don't want to cheapshot out and have forced-concubine AU that's "oh, but the captor is nice so its okay!" trope. My co-writer and I do disagree a little I've noticed. My tastes always lean a little darker.

I think honestly unless I plan for shorter stories I'm never getting any of my ideas done X_x. I always want to take 100k words, but the commit 10k only.

[anditendshowyoudexpect]

when i started watching Agency i couldn't imagine i'd end up enjoying it so much, probably the most i've enjoyed a kdrama this year. really did not see that coming

Strangers Again kept me entertained but i fast forwarded a bit through the last few episodes. the lead actors (i loved Kang So Ra in Misaeng and it was nice to see her again, while the male lead was an unknown. those eyes! soulful, someone said) were great and had just the right chemistry of two people who had known and loved each other for years, and i think this drama could have been really good if it had dug deeper and meandered less. to its credit, it ended how i hoped it would. all in all, not a waste of time but not something i would watch again either.

now, how the makjang of Red Balloon will end this weekend, i can't predict. my ardent wish to see everybody burn is still very much ardent. i can't believe i'll finally be free of it. human condition, so much human condition. let's kill them all, because they are too real and recognizable

the first two episodes of Call It Love were good. well done show, luring me in with all the My Mister stuff (i laughed when it turned out that Woo Joo, while dressed almost exactly like Ji An, did not possess her stealth and ingenuity. and why would she). no, seriously, they were good, and not nearly as depressing as some comments made it out to be. but surely we can't trust it yet. never trust a tv show. it will find a way to let you down. anyway, will definitely watch next week. i am mildly curious as to what this relationship will be like, but tbh for a drama with 사랑 in the title, that's the last thing i'm finding interesting about it for now. side note: the person who came up with the idea of using this god awful purplish filter and all those who thought it was a good idea should be forced to wear tinted glasses of this color for the rest of their life, even in the shower. and see all their dreams through this filter too.

CCIR: i would watch Kyung Ho (hey stupid android stop autocorrecting, he is not a lying ho) and Jeon Do Yeon, and the four teens being cute for ten hours straight, but i think it's safe to say we all know what's coming. the honeymoon is over! oh well. someday i will get my proper middle-aged romance. as it is, you're just making me want to watch Should We Kiss First? again. i mean, SWKF has terminal illness BUT NO ONE FUCKING DIES. also i love it smth silly.

OH! speaking of which, i almost forgot. i did finally watch Recipe for Farewell a few days ago. well, three episodes of it. now this one is definitely my thing, terminal illness notwithstanding. i only stopped myself because it was almost 7am and i wanted to binge the rest (and i will. it's so nice to know i have it waiting for me)

[its-a-hil]

okay ask game under the read more doing all of them bc why not i love talking about myself

1) comfort characters going specifically with the ones i dont kin - ringo from penguindrum, mu ye from half, ,,,, ,,, i think that might be it actually im too much of a kinnie for this uwu

2) lighter or matches matches even though im bad at them i just like scraping the thing against the thing with the fear that ill burn my fingers. dont really use them recently though since my family hasnt really lit candles in a long time

3) do i leave the window open at night god no how could i it's too cold out there give me my warm cozy carbon dioxide pls

4) which cryptid do i believe in kraken really anything related to the sea i feel like we have the ground fairly well mapped up but the sea is SO BIG

5) eye color i mean basic brown, but also ive been complimented on them by total strangers multiple times so i just dont fucking get it

6) why did i do that look that particular scene in tales of arise is just so bad i am losing my mind over it help i cant stop seeing it and imagining how much better it could be but they wanted to ship the children in a way that didnt make any fucking sense i just

7) hair ties or scrunchies both! a scrunchie is nice for if i dont want to put effort into it, but if im braiding or even just splitting my hair bilaterally hair ties just work better and feel cleaner (<- all of her scrunchies are different colors and it makes her feel off-balance to use two of them)

8) number of water bottles in my room just the one, stainless steel reusable camelback my beloved <3

9) hot coffee or cold coffee no. give me (filtered) tap water 99% of the time and chai if im in a social situation with my indian friends and that is IT

10) would i slaughter the rich i mean not really it wouldnt fix anything since capitalism isn't a group of people it's a pervasive system i would be down to de-rich the rich though that sounds way more humanizing for all involved parties

11) fav extracurricular activity toss-up between puzzle club and rock climbing cross country and theater are pretty fun too but you need to have a social group in place to really enjoy them (<- has learned this lesson multiple times and yet)

12) what kind of day is it a day where i lose my mind to tales of berseria endgame content apparently

13) last time i ate just now had dinner with parents, we had idli it was great i love idli

14) do i love the smell of earth after it rains not particularly but i do love charting a path on the sidewalk and jumping over puddles while the rain is coming down in droves and i have 4 minutes to get to class

15) am i a parent nah but i'd be happy to be one someday if im allowed to adopt and/or womb transplants and we havent abolished parenthood yet

16) can i drive yes and i dont want to expunge this knowledge from my brain pls #smash your local car

17) farsighted or nearsighted i think im very slightly farsighted but not enough to need glasses so idrc

18) hair products i use nothing special just like shampoo and conditioner i dont blowdry unless absolutely necessary though i just let it drip into my shirt that's more comfy

19) would i paint your nails at a sleepover oh fuck yeah girlie but you have to be ready for me to make mistakes bc i am clumsy as shit and my fine motor control is really lacking sometimes and honestly i would be too scared id fuck something up but i would still do it anyway bc you asked and i am Helpful™ as part of my sense of self which is Definitely healthy i promise you dont need to worry about a thing

20) do i say soda or pop soda this is a very boring question i cant even think of a good way to elaborate on it

21) something ive kept since childhood my yamaha keyboard that's probably older than me and doesnt have a full piano range or pedals but i love it nonetheless

22) what type of person am i ideologically against personality quizzes and boxes next question

23) how do i feel about chilly weather while im in a warm building: ugh it's so cold outside i hate this my skin is dry and the trees are dead it's so gross i need to build a coal power plant to end this while im outside: *exhales to see the puff of water vapor* *swishes my scarf* *smiles at the beauty and resilience of nature*

24) if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing depends how high the rooftop is if it's like more than a couple stories id just be looking out over the world and possibly peoplewatching if that's available if it's just like a house, i'd take in the air and just kinda vibe yknow?

25) perfume / body spray or lotion? i mean lotion my skin will constantly itch horribly if i dont put it own and i have the scars on my thighs to prove it

26) a scenario ive replayed multiple times i did this so often in so many ways throughout middle/high school that i just kinda got burnt out from it and now i really dont like thinking about it sorry before you ask no she was not okay

27) about how many hours of sleep do i get probably about 9 on average but i can function with any amount for a single day if i had enough the day before

28) do i wear a mask of course i do!! i cant when im coerced into certain social situations but i never initiate something like that and i always wear one at my job or on errands plus it's just nice to wear when it's cold out so your lungs dont freeze

29) how do i like my shower water hot like i need to feel a tiny bit of stinging or it just isnt hot enough

30) are there dishes in my room no a few candy bags but anything that touched actual food is in the trash

31) what type of music keeps me grounded changes constantly, pretty much the song ive been listening to recently for a while it was heir of grief (homestuck) but it's slowly moved around to random japanese music along with my general taste

32) do i have a favorite towel nah i just kinda use whatever will stay dry

33) the last adventure ive been on when i went to the japanese arcade and saw a ddr-like game with hatsune miku in it probably

34) is there a song i know every word to by heart sure - a few crane wives songs, but mostly it's japanese songs that i dont know what most of the words mean i just memorized the phonemes

35) whats my timezone eastern standard time in winter, eastern summer time in summer, bc EDT is a horrible acronym that no one ever uses and it's obvious from context

36) how many times have i changed my url none really but also i havent been using tumblr that long anyway if we count twitter i changed it twice - once bc i didnt like my old branding and again bc 'shill' is a bad word to have in your twitter @ when the nft bots are constantly looking for it

37) someone in my life i've known for 10+ years pretty much most of my elementary/middle school friend group we stayed in touch throughout high school and college

38) a soap bar that smells good soap bars are HORRIBLE and if i use them they dry out my skin and i die (see 25)

39) do i use lip balm no im lazy and usually drinking water is enough to keep them more or less moisturized

40) did i have snacks today girl yes and theyre all called chocolate

41) how do i take my coffee this is bullying. i am being cyberbullied right now.

42) an app i use frequently besides this one discord, firefox for android, bang dream girls band party, the obs camera app that lets me put hello kitty velvet crowe onstream and pat her head

43) my take on spicy foods they're good! i like them i also like nonspicy foods though it's kinda like with garlic im happy either way

44) if i had a free pass to kill anyone, who i mean who are you a cop but no one i wouldnt be able to kill someone either emotionally or practically i am too clumsy and also i refuse to do that unless someone i care about is immediately in danger and that's the only way i can think of to save them

45) can i remember what happened yesterday yeah i went to work, went rock climbing, came home and fucked around on my puter for a few hours

46) fav holiday film what is a holiday film *thinks* groundhog day and that's my final answer

47) last message i sent "oh sorry any time works for me really" <- setting up a time to go rock climbing with my sister

48) when did i first try an alcoholic beverage summer solstice 2021 (3 months before i turned 21) i had a bottle of angry orchard and it did not make the social interaction any easier to bear

49) can i skip rocks ive done it before but it's been a long time i know the basic mechanics though i could probably get it back in a couple attempts, though i dont think ive ever managed more than like 3 skips

50) can you tag me in random stuff sure but id prefer if you share it as a dm so i can actually like. discuss it with you please if any of my oomfies have read this far and see birdgirl art (or birdboy art im so starved) i NEED to see it