#if it weren't for this silly site and all the posts i have seen and stuff

[numberonetastemakerwhispers]

Lustful Desires

Miguel O'hara series...

Pairing: !pornstarmiguel x !smallcampaignreader

TW: NSFW BELOW CUT ✂️

Miguel o'hara. Known for his work and videos online through his years of working as a pornstar. Hes only posted little to few videos, but the outcome of them all were beautiful.

You had found him after scrolling through some videos on your browser, the title reading 'Lust and Fuck'. You pressed it reluctantly, expecting something boring than what the title was. Instead you were greeted with a muscular tanned man. Your eyes following how his muscles flexed, the way his lips curled up as he smirked. Shit he was hot.

And god you swore you almost came at the sight unraveling. (You did) The end where he was grunting loudly as his hips moved sloppily to where he finally came.

Your hands seemingly moving on their own as they dipped down to your panties, rubbing slow circles on your clit, making you shudder. (rewatching the video, hehe)

You watched the rest of his videos, cumming almost twice as much as you usually have in months. All being breath taking and exhausting as your hand cramped from chasing your high each time.

You were also a pornstar, but not on his level. You usually did solo videos, wearing pretty lacy lingerie, indulging yourself with your sways and swoons as you unraveled yourself for the camera. Maybe even fucking yourself silly with whatever toys you had, having you moaning like a slutty bitch. Your neighbors probably have heard.

Although you did solo, you did take some requests on considering to work with others, maybe those who also did solo, or more experience but god you weren't expecting the email you were just about to get sent...

----

Few hours go by as you were getting settled in your bed, getting ready to knock out when your phone suddenly buzzed. You thought it was from one of your managers, maybe even a notifiction from one of those thristy men on your porn site. You were oh, so wrong, looking at your phone as you gasped. Your eyes scanning the name from whom the email was from before opening it. Miguel O'hara.

You thought you must have been dreaming? The one and only? It couldn't have been! But you read the message over and over and that you almost peed your pants! (or maybe you did. jk)

The message was mind blowing to you, but still it was unexpected.

' Subject: Request ...

Hello preciosa, Ive seen your works and I must say you are a sight for sore eyes...

I was wondering if you would love to work with me in one of my own?

-

Miguel O'Hara.

You squealed as your fingers starting typing faster than your brain could process, having to delete then reform your words as you typed back.

'Subject: yes please!

Ive seen your works as well! I'm quite a fan

... and i would love to work with you. We'll work things out with our managers yea?

-

Y/N.

You sounded almost too excited. Desperate even. But who wouldnt be? When a well known pornstar like Miguel who blessed with a body of a goddess? You thought you had been blessed by the gods, or cursed even. Since you couldn't sleep a wink after that email.

-

6:00 AM

Your alarm had went off on your phone. Grumbling and groggy from your restless sleep as you turned it off, wiping your eyes and the puddle of drool that had been growing from your slumber, as you checked your phone. Another email!

You tapped it as you read it over, your body feeling fully awake now at the message.

Subject: Plan

'Alo, carino you sound excited.. tomorrow at 2 pm at ******.'

-

Miguel O'Hara.

It was short. It spoke truth. it was TOMORROW?! You had thought that a meeting would take a few days even a week but it was happening tomorrow! You felt your cheeks flood with redness as your buried you face in your hands.

What was the theme going to be? Did you have to bring your own clothes of choice? Was the fact meeting him face to face might actually give you a heart attack? Would he even like how you look in person? Would it give him a heart attack?!

Gosh you decided to calm yourself down, seeing how overwhelmed you were getting over a email. You took a deep breath and started typing a reply back.

'Subject: Plan

Im a little excited.. more nervous tho. Ill be there tomorrow!'

-

Y/N.

You sighed as you hoped the day would go by slowly, letting the time for you to consume your inner thoughts and the need to be settled down. You got up and went on with your day. (with the thought of miguel lingering)

-

It was almost 10 as you settled in your comforters after a nice long shower, finishing and editing a draft of yourself up to your site as you yawned exhaustly, ready to knock out. The thought of meeting up with him roamed your mind, making you jitter with anticipation and anxiousness. You pushed those thoughts aside, ready to get back to them when you wake up.

-

You groaned. you couldn't even sleep at all. Only finally falling asleep around 4 in the morning, scrolling through pages and posts to help you fall asleep faster, to no surprise it brought you hell.

It was 10 AM, your meet up was in 4 hours, but you'd be heading there an hour early since the place was pretty far from where you lived.

You called your manager, making sure everything was still in order (it was) as you were up and getting ready. It was scary really, as you did your best to find what would be most appropriate to wear and what wouldn't be.

You decided for a skim black skirt, white sweater with a pink vest over it. Your hair blow, starting your makeup after showering and doing your daily skincare.

You had lipgloss and mascara, a little blush from here to there and that signature mole on your right cheek. You made sure you looked decent as you did last minute sprints of perfume before you trampled out your apartment.

Rushing down your apartment stairs, as you hopped into your Toyota that you had bought off an auction for half the price, starting it up as you finally hit the road, ready for the day to unravel.

You made it, but 30 minutes late. Blaming the traffic that went on your hour early drive over. Always traffic...

You had found yourself talking with your manager along the way, him scolding you back and forth about being late, as you just huffed but apologized. You were lead into a room with lights and cameras scattered around the room, an area in the middle where it must have been where you were going to perform the scene with Miguel. It was all mind blowing, even more when you laid your eyes on him.

He was way more attractive in person, his smile flooding the room. The way his shoulders flexed with every movement, the way he slicked his hair back to not let any piece fall on his forehead. He was a man who would be seen as a piece from a museum you thought to yourself.

You had caught yourself staring that sent you straight back to reality. He was looking straight back at you, with a smirk that was seen clear for days. It had your cheeks flushed and your manager still fussing on how you weren't paying attention to his lecture.

It didn't matter after you and miguel had walked up to eachother greeting eachother and eachothers managers. You smiled sheepishly as he smiled back as well.

"Alo preciosa.." He said, his voice sounded rough and smooth a hint of a grunt being heard.

"Hey.." you said your voice almost a squeak from how shy you were. You earned a chuckled from him as he took your hand in his as he gave it a firm squeeze, placing a kiss on the back of your palm.

"No need to be shy carino, since we're working with eachother today." He reassured, which made not only your heart flutter but your other heart beat with need. (oopsies)

You nodded as you chuckled to yourself, looking up into his coffee brown eyes, his fangs poking out as he smirked at you.

"Okay ill try... but don't be disappointed when I do." You said softly as your managers starting discussing on the scene and prepping the platforms, choice of clothing and need of materials.

It was all so new to you, to be working in an actual studio, and it was a big bump to your campaign seeing as you were only just a small creator. Although you knew this would be a huge raise for not only you, but your campaign as well.

When you were pulled to the dressing room you had seen scatters of different clothing presented before you, making you awe and oh at such selection.

Although it all seemed appropriate for the scene you had to display with Miguel. The scene of which 2 lovers coming out of an argument, which turned to hot angry sex.

Something new to you and a jump to what you expected. Thought of maybe slow sensational romance, him coming home as you both held onto one another but instead happened to be this..

--

After roaming through your selection of clothing, you decided to go for a simple 'at home' look. Silk shorts that clung onto your thighs nicely, and a matching silk tanktop (sleep wear). You finished by getting prepped and sprayed down after having your makeover, mascara and eye liner, lip gloss and instead of your signature mark they decided for you not to wear it.

You made your way out the changing room as your eyes caught onto the tall burly man who wore a black t-shirt that strained against his chest, making it hard for your gaze to be pulled away. He wore grey sweats, clinging onto his musclar thighs just right, showing the plump of his ass which had you blushing like a fool.

He saw you, maybe even you staring at him in such a way, as he made his way over.

"mi nína... estás preciosa..." (my girl...your beautiful...) He murmured, his gaze traveling down the outfit you wore just for the show, for him specifically. You smiled softly as you didn't understand his spanish, which made it awkward but fun.

"What are you saying?" You giggled, looking up at him with those doe eyes of yours, the feeling of staring into his seemingly felt like you were being lured in.

"nothing to worry about." He smirked as he took your hand in his, his own making yours looked drawf compared to him. You felt jittery and vulnerable, letting him drag you along as you both got on set. You take a deep breath, feeling rather tense. Miguel seemed to noticed as his hand rubbed slow circles on the small of your back.

"shh..No te pongas nervioso, te tengo amor." (dont be nervous, i got you love.) He reassured looking down at you with comfort and ease in his eyes, your body seemed more at ease as you smiled up at him.

Although you didn't know what he was saying but you knew it probably meant something sweet.

--

"SCENE STARTS IN 3..." The manager yelled from the back, you being in the kitchen as he just got back home from the pub, really to you it seemed like a toxic plot, but with miguel he seemed so sweet and reassuring, that you didn't seem to care for the plot.

"2..1 ACTION!" Your manager yelled as cameras were turned on, lights making sure they luminated the right places, as miguel walked into the door of your home.

"Hola hermosa, ¿qué estás haciendo?" (hey beautiful, what are you doing?") He asked, his arms raveling around your waist, pulling you close as you nudged him aside.

Although you didn't know what he was saying, reading your scripts and having to scan it a million times put ideas in what it might be.

"Don't hey beautiful me." You mumbled, nudging him away as you avoided looking up at him. His eyes were analyzing your reaction and movements.

He scoffed as he shook his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he tried to approach you once more.

"Hey.. whats the matter with you?" He said, his accent weighing heavy on his words. His eyes demanded to look at yours, as he grasped your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

You furrowed your brows, huffing as you were forced to stare into such dangerous eyes, ones that made you dizzy and undone if stared into too long.

"Let go of me, you reek of alcohol." You said, slapping his hand away as you walked it off. But not without him swooping you against the wall, his gaze was sharp, a low growl heard from him.

"¿Con quién crees que estás hablando? You know better.." (who are you talking to like that?) He said in a firm tone, his face getting closer to yours, the feeling on his breath fanning against your lips.

Your lips quivered, his thumb brushing over them as his gaze dropped to your lips.

"cariño, dime, ¿por qué estás molesta?" (baby, tell me why your upset?) He sighed, letting his grip falter as he pulled you close, hands grazing down your body as he squeezed at the plump of your ass, making you squeak.

You'd almost forgotten that this was all for show, all for a video to publish, as you got lost in the thought of acting appropriately.

"Your always out, i..didn't have the best day today, thinking if I-"

"Took your anger out on me would help?" He finished your sentence, as you nodded sheepishly.

He chuckled as he pulled you closer, pinning you against the wall as he pressed a kiss on your temple, another to your cheek before whispering against your ear.

"Meaning it would help by getting me all riled up till we ended up hate fucking?.." He chuckled as he lowered his head, pressing kisses on your neck, making you moan out as you nodded.

He clicked his tongue in disapproval.

"Words hermoso , use your words." He hushed against your neck, biting at the nape softly, leaving a mark as he licked it afterwards, soothing the sting.

"yes.. yes i did.. bu-"

"but what? wanted me to lose my patience with you? wanted me to fuck you mercilessly? till you cant breath, till you cant think straight?" he clicked his tongue again, making you gulp back the guilt.

"Qué desastre para mí, cariño, un pequeño desastre, a slutty whore for me yea?" (such a mess for me baby, a pretty little mess) He chuckled, making your face go red as he picked you up, pressing his lips against yours as you both savored each other. His hands holding you firmly against the wall, your legs wrapping around his waist for support as you felt his bulge against your stomach.

You gulped at the size, it felt huge. Girthy even. He noticed by your face, whispering something against your ear, quiet enough for the cameras not to hear.

"Gonna ruin you sweetheart." He whispered. He pressed a kiss on your temple before wrapping his lips around yours, letting his tongue explore. His hands worked on your body, groping the flesh of your hips, traveling up to squeeze and tease at your breast, making your back want to arch off the cold walls.

His weight pinned against you, making no effort of escape possible as you moaned out his name, trying to hide your face into the nape of his neck before one of the managers yelled.

"DONT HIDE YOUR FACE." Your manager yelled leaving you pouting as you brought your face back up. Miguel's eyes gazing into yours as he smirked, before running his hands under your tanktop, flicking and pinching at your breast as you whined against him. The feeling of his hips trying to find relief only adding on to your pleasure.

He peppered you with kisses, biting and sucking marks all over your chest mumbling 'mine' and 'who do you belong to hermoso?' here to there, not that you noticed, already being lost in the feeling of him slow burning your need for him.

He stopped, making you whine as he smirked momentarily.

"Got to fuck you properly." He growled, as he brought you back into his arms, carrying you to the bedroom, as he threw you down onto the bed. Your body plopping into the soft mattress before his weight towered over you.

"shh.. quiet don't want to wake the neighors." He teased, before going back to kissing you until his lips left yours, as they traveled down your body, biting and sucking at at soft flesh. His hands soothed the sting that brought from the bites, the pain only making it better.

He finally slid down your shorts, revealing the heat growing between your legs as he groaned at the sight.

"joder..toda mojada y bonita para mi ... all for me." (fuck... all wet and pretty for me) he growled as he dove right into your wet heat, lapping at the nub of nerves making you quiver, your thighs tightening against his head. His large burly hands wrapping around your thighs, pulling them apart as he started fucking you with his tongue, making you moan like you haven't before.

"M-miguel plea-"

"Shut up.. you wanted me to fuck you right? Fuck you the way I wanted? Then let me do it properly you greedy slut." You whined. His words degrading you making you nod obediently. He then slowly teased the entrance of your cunt, before shoving them right in, curling them right right.

You gasped as he started thrusting them into you roughly, curling his fingers at that one spot that made you come undone. You felt like you saw stars with how far your eyes rolled back.

You panted heavily, you were close. The feeling of him sucking at your clit with his fingers stretching you out was all too much. He must have sensed it, pulling his fingers out your needy cunt, licking one long line against your puffy clit. He pressed an open mouthed kiss against your clit before sitting up.

"Taste so good precioso" He groaned before unbuckling his belt, your eyes wavering over as he patted the spot infront of him, making you get up, crawling over to him.

He pulled his cock out, groaning as he pumped it a few times before instructing you to open your mouth, his tip leaking with precum. He had to be atleast 8 or 9 inches, girth making it seem abnormal from how large it was.

The cameras came closer to the scene as they made sure to catch your face, not missing a single shot of it as he slapped his cock against your tongue, throwing his head back with ease. His hands bunching up your hair into his fist before pushing your head down, not letting you breathe from how far he pushed his cock into your throat. You gagged and drooled, his hips fucking his way into your throat as he cursed at how tight it was.

"Fuck.. baby relax your throat f'me.." He groaned. As you did your best, allowing him to use you as if you were some type of sexy toy, his sex toy. He rutted himself into your throat, loving the way tears trickled down your face, mascara running down your teary eyes as your flushed cheeks brought a primal part of him out.

He pulled out as you gasped for air, his hands manhandling you effortlessly, throwing you onto your stomach as he pushed your back down, your ass up on display for him as he slapped it, leaving a light sting and a imprint of his hand.

"Qué hermosa... eres jodidamente hermosa." (your beauitful, fucking beauitful) He awed at how his hands left beauitful marks on your flesh, before soothing it over with his hand, before placing his hands on your hips, as he alligned himself.

"W-wait miguel let me-"

Before you could even speak he already slammed his hips against yours, shoving all 9 inches of himself into your tight wrath as he let out a breathless curse. Your eyes rolling so far back into your head you couldn't even remember if cameras were still filming or not. Nonetheless if you were even on stage or at home experiencing this.

"What were you saying? Can't hear with you

cryinf and moaning bonito.. All pretty and displayed for my cock." He grinned as he started thrusting into you, slamming into you faster but with long rough deep strokes that hit against your cervix, making you go numb.

Cameras came close, ones filming the way he was fucking you recklessly while other on your fucked out expression. Your makeup all ruined, tears prickling down your eyes at how overwhelmingly good you felt. You moaned like a bitch in heat, the way he groped at your breast, pinching the sore parts of them making you whine and cry out in pleasure as he fucked you mad.

His low grunts and groan, the breathless curses he let out as he slapped your ass, making it all red and achey before you finally felt your climax building, throwing yourself back against him as he growled at the feeling, slapping your ass roughly, pulling mewls and gasps out of you.

"Gonna cum for me? Gonna cum all over my cock baby?" He cooed, slapping your ass over and over till it was a deep shade of red. His groans growing more desperate as his hips slammed into you sloppily, showing how close he was.

"Cum with me.. cum with me mi precioso" he panted, leaning down to press soft kisses along your spine, as he slammed into you once more, shooting his ropes of cum inside you, fucking it back into you to keep you nice and full. You rode your high, his hips grinding into you slowly helping you out tremendously. As you fell against the bed limp, exhausted and fucked out as he chuckled, pulling out slowly as his cum drooled out your hole, the camera making sure to catch the sight.

He leaned over, pressing kisses on your temple, over your cheeks, and the nape of your neck all the way down your back.

"You alright mi amor?" He asked softly, his voice the sound of gravel and softness as all you did was nod numbly, trying to present a smile.

-

The scene was done and you both got cleaned up, refreshed and back into your normal clothes. You whined at how sore your cunt felt, maybe he did go a little too rough, not that you cared atleast. You had marks littered all over you, from bitemarks, to hickeys, scattered everywhere making you huff at the sight.

You finally met with eachothers managers, both seeing eachother once more before he brought his hand to hold yours, pressing a kiss to the back on your hand.

"Pleasure working with you hermoso..." He grinned, standing back up at his full height.

"Pleasures all mine, I hope the video came out as you liked." You smiled up at him, the feeling of pride filling your senses.

"Might be my favorite tape..." He chuckled, seeing the way it made you all flustered.

"Here.. before we part ways." He pulled out a piece of paper, placing it in your vest pocket as he gave you a playful wink before waving goodbye, which made you confused, excited, and sad.

As he left you pulled the note out of your vest, the feeling of adrenaline rushing through your veins as you read.

'mi amor ... here is my number .

(***) *** ****, for when you want to talk or work once more. don't be shy to call mi amor.'

Miguel .

Your heart felt as if it pounced out your chest, the feeling of getting his number was all you needed to be able to expect further things in the future. But for what you knew, you were definitely going to leave a little message in his inbox.

* End *

---

(This is my first publish of thought! Sorry if theres any miss spells or grammer issues-- scanned through it so many times and still struggling.

Hope you enjoy!)

[lovelyd0gg]

BoB hc!

Finally have a good headcanon!! How would the BoB boys react on your birthday and how they would plan it when you're at work.

Warnings: none<3

Extra: I'll try and post this today if I am able to think of the ideas, I'm also using the boys I normally use and adding a couple more. I'm not using all of them but I'm using the ones that are seen more on the episodes<33

Richard Winters.

•He wants to make sure you have a really nice birthday.

•He would buy you presents like 1 week before your birthday and checking up on them from time to time to make sure they are good before he has to wrap them up.

•When you go to work, he starts working on the cake, wrapping the gifts and just basically hard work.

•He made sure to wrap the gifts perfectly and neatly, making sure there were no rips, wrinkles or anything out of line.

•And he tried so hard on the cake.

•He isn't a really good Baker but he went on a trusted site to learn how to make a good cake and he decorated it with your favorite colors and stuff that you'd like.

•When he hears the keys jingling outside the door he immediately went into action and put the cake on the table.

•You entered the house and were so happy to find out that he made you a cake and did all of this for you!

•He gave you a hug and the rest of the day was just you both chatting about some things that you both find interesting.

Y/N: "How did you make the cake so good?"

W: "You don't want to know how long it took to find a a website for a good cake.."

Lewis Nixon.

•This man knows a lot about you.

•He knows what you like and immediately goes to buy that.

•Originally he was going to buy some vat 69 but then remembered your birthday was just around the corner and he started buying you the gifts.

•As soon as he came home, he went straight to work.

•He made a couple of wrinkles on the wrapping paper and tiny rips but from afar, it looked perfect.

•He made the cake and he looked left and right and behind him and everywhere to make sure nobody was there... He sneaked in a little bit of vat 69 in the batter... Shh. Don't tell anyone.

•He decorated it and when you came home, you were welcomed by a smiling Nixon with a cake in his hands.

•You laughed because of how silly and adorable he looked but you knew how much time he was spending to make your cake and wrap the gifts.

•While you were opening the presents, you were ecstatic and excited while he leaned on the couch watching you open them with a smile.

•The rest of the day, you both were laughing and cracking jokes. It was a nice birthday:)

Y/N: "Nix, why does this taste like alcohol?"

N: "Eat your cake, birthday girl."

Ronald Speirs.

•Let's be real here, he'd definitely mess up on the cake by accident no matter how hard he tried.

•He was never a baker and you couldn't blame him, sometimes cakes were hard to make.

•He would also end up ripping the failed attempt of wrapping paper when he tried wrapping your gifts.

•He was so stressed and angry, he just wanted you to have a perfect birthday.

•When you got home, you weren't greeted by a cake at the table or presents neatly wrapped.

•You saw Speirs on the couch trying to wrap your gifts then ripping the paper when it went wrong.

•He saw you and immediately aapologized for the mess and he shouldn't have acted this way.

•But you just hugged him and laughed.

•You told him that the birthday was already amazing because he was there for it.

•Of course, his mind thought that was really weird...

•But then he understood and hugged you back.

•The rest of the time you guys were talking and laughing about how work for you was.

•It wasn't the perfect birthday he was hoping to give you, but if you liked it, he liked it too.

Y/N: "It's okay Speirs. You matter more than my birthday."

S: "I never heard anyone say that before."

Carwood Lipton.

•This man made everything perfectly.

•Kinda like Winters but a little better.

•He made the cake perfectly, decorated it perfectly, wrapped the gifts perfectly.

•Everything was done perfectly.

•Well of course everything was perfect, you're so precious to him that he wants to do everything perfect for you!

•He made sure that the dinner table was nice and neat and everything was in place.

•And by the time he was done, there was still so many hours left until you came home!

•So he cleaned up the house a little and when you came home he surprised you!

•You enjoyed the gifts and the cake! And he was happy that you enjoyed everything.

•You both talked the rest of the day and how your day went, etc.

•He enjoyed the day and so did you :)

Y/N: "This was an amazing day, thank you Lip."

L: "I'm glad you enjoyed it, my dear."

Joseph Liebgott.

•He messed up at times and sure, he did have to give you one present without the wrapping paper because it was in a weird shape.

•But he was hoping you'd find everything he did for you sweet.

•He knew the flavour you wanted the cake batter to be and at least he made the decorations on the cake pretty.

•He also managed to get some of the things you liked as gifts. Sometimes he accidentally bought you a gift that you got a long time ago since he didn't know.

•But it was cute and adorable how he forgot and how he smiled at you nervously when you said he bought the same thing you got a long time ago.

•He apologized but there was nothing to be angry about anyways so it was fine.

•Then the rest of the day, you both watched a movie while eating popcorn.

•You guys were so invested since it was an ACTUAL good movie.

•At times you both had to pause the movie because of how good it was💀

•The day was nice and relaxing for both of you in the end.

Y/N: "WOA--"

J: *hand over your mouth* "SHUT UP IT GET'S BETTER!"

Joe Toye.

•Joe was angry, at himself, because he forgot to get you gifts and make you a cake.

•There was 5 hours till you came back home, that should be enough for getting the presents and making the cake right?

•It took him an hour in the store to get you the gifts, making the cake took another hour, decorating the cake took maybe half and hour and wrapping the gifts took 2 hours.

•He was so frustrated at himself, not knowing how to wrap gifts! Forgetting your birthday! Everything!

•When you came home, you noticed a messily decorated cake and badly wrapped gifts and a very exhausted Toye.

•He was on the couch, he looked like he gave up on everything and felt like the worst boyfriend in the world.

•You smiled and laughed at how he tried his hardest for you.

•You told him that it was okay and all that matters is that he tried as hard as he could.

•He smiled a little and trusted you. You always knew better, so the rest of the day you guys ate the cake and went to sleep. Cuddling :)

Y/N: "It's not a big deal To-"

T: "I am the shittiest boyfriend ever."

Bull Randleman.

•He knew everything you liked and was determined to make this a good birthday.

•His big hands making something so soft and cute like a cake was so adorable, sadly, you didn't see it :(

•He managed to wrap the gifts nicely, and putting ribbons on it for the nice presentation.

•He put the cake in the fridge carefully, making sure he didn't mess up or smudge the cake by accident.

•After everything was done, he was waiting for you to return from work.

•Once you came home, he greeted you with a kiss and told you to follow him in the living room.

•You saw presents and a cake on the table! And everything looked so amazing!

•You were quite impressed by his skills.

•You guys tried the cake and it reminded you of your parents cake whenever it was your birthday.

•It hit the nostalgia part of your brain and it made you cry a little.

•He chuckled a little, crying over a cake? Seemed a little silly but you were the good type of silly.

•The rest of the time, he was watching you using the gifts he got for you.

•He thought that you probably loved this birthday.

Y/N: "How long did all of this take you?!"

B: "Not a long time, darlin'."

Eugene Roe.

•He wanted to make sure you loved everything about this birthday.

•You got lucky there, didn't ya?

•He made the cake and decorated it with your favorite colors and added sugar paste for it.

•Making sure it was perfect and nothing bad happened.

•He tied ribbons on all the presents, making sure the ribbons were tied beautifully and the gifts wrapped nicely.

•He made sure everything was beautiful and perfect just for you.

•When you came home, you were ecstatic and kissed his cheek.

•He closed one of his eyes and smiled. Happy that you liked the things he did for you.

•In his opinion, he would've done all of this even if it wasn't your birthday.

•You tried the cake and had to put the fork down to actually process the perfect amount of flavour.

•You opened the gifts and jumped up and down repeatedly due to him remembering what you wanted and liked.

•You gave him tons of kisses and cuddling him.

•You definitely loved this birthday<3

Y/N: "This was the best birthday ever..."

E: "Maybe I'll repeat it again next year."

Donald Hoobler.

•He was determined to make this AT LEAST a good birthday.

•He was very clumsy and was praying to god that he wouldn't drop your cake when he handed it to you.

•He did get the right presents, and he wrapped them well but then after he made the cake, his balance immediately became wobbly.

•Perfect timing am I right?

•He heard you enter the house and when you entered the kitchen, he looked at you with those innocent sweet eyes.

•He held the cake out for you. And you smiled at him because of how sweet it was...

•You guys tried the cake and it was good, especially for a person like Hoobler who made it.

•Then you opened the gifts and you were happy to have them!

•You decided to tell him "But you're the best gift." And he blushed HARD.

•He hugged you and was happy that you were in his life<3

Y/N: "But you're the best gift."

H: "Don't tease me! You're better!"

Donald Malarkey.

•He was stressed out because he wasn't 100% sure of what you liked for gifts.

•So he went with the classic, candy and legos. (I know it's childish and some of you don't like legos but please don't shit on me for this choice, alright? Thanks <3)

•He wrapped them nicely but when he decorated your cake, it was clear there were wobbly lines, due to his hands shaky and how he was hoping it would be a good birthday.

•When you came home, you noticed he wasn't done decorating the cake, you saw actual sweat droplets going down his face, which he wipes with a towel because he didn't want you to taste his sweat!

•He noticed you were there watching him and he chuckled nervously.

•He didn't know you were standing there! And for a good five minutes at that!

•You chuckled but told him to not work so much just for your birthday. Especially since you wanted him to relax.

•Relax? What's that? He HAD to finish this cake for you!

•But you stopped him and told him not to overwork himself.

•He nodded and chose to obey you.

•The rest of the day was just you two talking together and laughing. Just enjoying each others companies.

Y/N: "Don't overwork yourself next time, okay?"

M: "...I'll think about it."

George Luz.

•No, you don't understand. He NEEDS you to have the best birthday known to man kind.

•He won't just get you a cupcake and two gifts, NUH UH, NO WAY.

•He bought you tons of presents and when the cashier asked him why he bought so much, he told the cashier to just keep scanning.

•He wrapped the gifts as well as he could, scared that he would mess up any second.

•Luckily he didn't. And when he made the cake he made it colorful for the decoration and he was relieved.

•As soon as you opened the door he ran to the door saying "happy birthday, babyyy!" Then hugged you.

•He covered your eyes and led you to the living room.

•You opened your eyes and your jaw DROPPED.

•twenty presents?! What?! Is his bank account physically okay?!

•You ate the cake and he was admiring you, watching you eat as he asked you how it tasted.

•Then he watched you open the presents and smiled happily.

•After the birthday shenanigans, you both cuddled on the bed and gave each other small little kisses on the head and cheek and lips.

•He was happy when you told him that it was the best birthday ever<3

Y/N: "I love you Luz.."

L: "I love you shortie~"

David Webster.

•He wants to make sure you have a great birthday!

•How hard could it possibly be?

•He makes sure that the presents are nicely wrapped, made the cake with nice flavours and a pretty decoration. He even decorated the house a bit!

•Putting those hanging "happy birthday!" On the window and all sorts of things.

•He even takes a picture of the cake, gifts, the house after everything is finished so he could have it in his gallery.

•Once you come home, he welcomes you with a kiss on the cheek and leads you to the kitchen (where the decorations and stuff are.)

•You guys had a nice dinner as well then went to the cake.

•Don't judge him for this, but he still sings happy birthday for you before you blow out the candle.

•And he asks you if you made a wish.

•Childish? Yes. Do I care? Nope!

•He loves to sing happy birthday for you.

•After opening the gifts. He watches you use the gifts happily and while he sat on the couch peacefully.

•You both talked for a while then went to sleep after all of that.

•Pretty normal guy <3

Y/N: "Webster, you're like over 20."

W: "I like singing it. Don't judge me."

John Martin.

•Kind of like Lipton, but he doesn't make every single thing perfect.

•But he does get you the right gifts and he does wrap them pretty well.

•And the cake was nicely decorated and made.

•He patted his shoulder as a good job, hoping that you'll like the gifts and the cake.

•When you came home, he greeted you and smiled.

•He led you to the living room and smiled when you looked excited at the gifts and the cake.

•To be honest, this was his first time actually trying hard for someone's birthday.

•He only tries for like relatives and close friends. But when you came in his life, he tried extra hard for you.

•The day was perfect in your brain but of course, because Martin being Martin, thought he could do better.

•But you told him that he did everything amazingly and you enjoyed the day.

•He eventually agreed with you and then for the rest of the day watched a movie.

•It was a nice day for the both of you<3

Frank Perconte.

•Bless this poor short man😭

•Nobody takes him seriously and he thought you wouldn't too for your birthday.

•He was already humiliated at the grocery store when he was buying ingredients and gifts for you.

•The cashier didn't see him at first and then saw him paying with cash.

•He was embarrassed to say the least but when he got home, he started making the cake and wrapping the gifts.

•At first he wanted to give up on wrapping the gifts but he didn't, he was determined and he had a mission.

•He decorated the cake and stood there just looking at it, scanning it for any mess ups or what it needed.

•He put the cake in the fridge and then he places the gifts from big to small. The big presents on the bottom and the small presents on the top.

•When you came home you were greeted by him and he told you to open the presents first before having the cake.?

•Weird but sure!

•You opened the gifts and then had cake. No time for dinner honey.

•After the day was done. You both got in bed and watched a movie. He passed out first..

Y/N: "Was there a reason I should've opened the presents before having cake?"

P: "I'm...not sure."

Bill Guarnere.

•He was very late. He forgot it was your birthday.

•"OH SHIT." he shouted at the store.

•He didn't even care that people were watching him, he RAN to buy the gifts.

•There was only 2 hours until you'd come home so he had to do things super sonic speed.

•He ran home and then immediately started wrapping the gifts. His hands shaky and fast as he wrapped them, making little wrinkles there.

•He then made the cake which was quite messy and fast. He was horrible at baking😭

•He tried decorating it but he decided to only put frosting on it instead of all those fancy things on it.

•As soon as you came home he hid the cake behind him.

•You tilted your head and asked what was behind his back and he moved out of the way. Revealing a white frosted yet messy cake.

•You could tell on his face that he tried his hardest and he felt ashamed for forgetting your birthday and not knowing.

•You loved how he tried his hardest but he kept mentally putting himself down🥺

•But you told him it's truly okay and the thing that mattered was that he tried and was there in your life.

•You guys have a good time, cracking jokes, laughing and having fun. It was a nice day despite his small mental breakdown<3

I really hope you guys enjoy this. I'm really surprised i managed to do this all in just two days. Music helped me actually finish it LMAO. tell me if you have more ideas! Love you! Mwah😚

[blingblong55]

Playing Pretend- König

Based on a request:

Hi i’m new to request but i want to request if you can do a reader x konig being parents for a day. They were assigned to do a silly task but it becomes a disaster. Thank you and i love your posts!! -🧸🎀

F!Reader, fluff,

A/N: I have no idea how to write a healthy family dynamic....sorry. Will be a quick one...

The past few months have been a blur since you entered KorTac. From solo missions to team missions to now this, playing pretend with your friend and teammate König. Connell, the name of the infant you and he had to take care of to pass as a family to gather intel. It was nerve-wracking, the infant cried and at times you and König planned on aborting the mission.

The first night was stressful, Connell slept through the night well, but you and König didn't know how to trust yourselves with the infant as it slept. König, slept 3 hours and you the other three. From almost midnight to 5 in the morning you both took turns sleeping. Three days into the mission to gather intel, you had created a schedule. From 11 at night to 2 in the morning he slept, from 2 to 5 am you slept, he'd give you more time to sleep and in the time he was awake he'd wake Connell up, make breakfast and then he would wake you up.

It was around 0530 when you woke up, Connell was running around, giggling as König chased him around the house you three pretend to have. "Dada! No!" Connell giggled as König finally caught him and started to tickle him. They were in the living room, trying to keep their laughter down because they thought you were asleep. Before the mission, Connell was told your names were Dada and Mummy. You two weren't too excited about this but whatever helped the mission. König stopped laughing once he saw you leaning on the doorway, It was rare to see your teammates especially him being so, domestic and father-like to the infant. You had seen him kill men in the field with such little effort.

2 months passed and you had gathered the intel necessary for the team. You three went back to base and said your goodbyes, König would be deployed to Asia, Connell would be sent to an orphanage in Ireland and you'd be stuck in base. When what was a dream ended, and you were all alone in your room at 3 a.m., you thought of the fun nights you had with König and Connell.

It was 1 a.m. when Connell woke you guys up. "Dada...I can't sleep.." his tiny voice and his tiny touches on König, woke him up. By then you two had gotten used to Connell and slept all through the night.

He and Connell were in the kitchen, drinking milk from the carton, König said something that made Connell giggle. "Oh dada, you are funny." Connell of the counter, looking up at the giant man. "Conny, you can't tell mummy about this okay?" Connell nods. It brings you warmth, a feeling of longing in your chest at this site. It was adorable how much König had bonded with the infant.

Four months later, König appears at your door, flowers in hand, "Liebling, I can't keep doing this, pretending you aren't who I want to be with." So he had been thinking of you, good to know. For days you two spent talking about the past four months, getting to know the other on more personal levels.

~6 Years later~

He was in the kitchen, with small giggles and light footsteps that ran from the heavier ones. You were in your shared bedroom, cat in arms as you stood up from the bed. As you approached, you saw the image you longed for years ago. Conny sitting on the countertop, König holding your newborn as he and Conny drank milk from the carton. He wanted you to rest, so he took the children out of the room so you could watch a show and relax.

"Mummy!" Conny smiles as he sees his mother. You and König wanted him to be a part of your family. You walked to Conny and kissed the top of his head. "Hey, I wanted you to rest." König's voice was soft. KorTac found Conny was still in the orphanage, they pulled some strings and hours later, he was brought in by Declan. You and he started a family by playing pretend, playing house...and now you get to have a life away from wars and guns.

You and him retired 1 year into having Connell as your child. He got a job as an instructor at the police academy, he became a housewife, and at times you too would give classes at the academy.

A/N: I literally have no clue if this makes sense...I might edit it later

[spookyuu]

Appreciation Post!!

I've seriously been wanting to make a big post appreciating some of the dca content creators that I love (especially after getting to know some of them better) so here's a bunch of compliments and thoughts on them! (Also this is in no order, ily all very much ❤)

@madame-mongoose: Monnster!!! Oh, I love Monnie. Very bullyable (this is a pro). Always so funny and making me laugh. When Monnie comes online, I know there's gonna be some fun times to be had. Easy to talk to and my clone apparently. I wouldn't have made all these new friends if it weren't for Monnie and Sy, so I'm very appreciative of her uwu. Art is very shapely, bendy, very cartoonish in a pleasing way. And very unique to Monnie! I don't think I've seen anyone else with an artstyle like Monnie's. Characters are juicy, very well thought out and full of pain. Your mom.

@suokumi: You came crashing in one day and life has never been the same. Suo is full of love and passion and awful terrible disgusting sleeping habits. But they make up for it by telling everyone else to take care of themselves because they love you sososo much. Really talented, but don't tell them that or else they'll die. Anyway yeah, Suo Art my beloved and also Suo my beloved because we're married. Can bust out 50+ sketches in an hour and is like "dont look" even though I'm frothing at the mouth and shaking them. I love you Suo mwah ❤️

@opudontdonut: La Creatura!!! Bites everyone like watermelon. very fun, very gremlin. Pops in every now and again and throws everyone into a frenzy. A biting frenzy. Good Gaslighter. Take that as you may. Draws chibis really unique in a way I cannot replicate but is so so so so cute. Art is very distinct too!!! The line work especially is very noticable? Thick black lines. Draws the boys v skrunkly too. Nightmare and therapy au my beloveds.

@ariisonfire: TALENTED!!! Very, very talented. Animates, codes, arts, does just about everything and is good at it. Very funny doodles, very dorky. I love Ari!!! Very cute (cutest giggles this side of uh. Idk just really cute giggles) and provides me with Vector content. My spouse, no matter what Lily says.

@skittlewaffle: LOVE the way Kay draws the boys. Her art in general is so sharp and intentional. Precise. Very cartoony as well, good for animation me thinks. Has good AU ideas and brainstorms really well. Literally. The fucking paragraphs kay busts out that obliterate my mind. Also very fun person to hang out with, very silly.

@pillowspace: Beautiful, wonderful person. Somehow manages to draw on her 3ds??? Like a god?? Loves rotini (eat something else I'm begging you) KEEPS FUCKING REBLOGGING MY WATERFALLS PIECE Also has similar brain thoughts as me (ooie to Angel Tango jumpscare) Has a beautiful voice, fr. Sang a song for me which melted my little heart. Makes gut-bustingly funny gifs at the speed of light. Also says??? Things that make no sense but are very funny.

@vilz: Oof, what's not good to say about Val? You know that meme that's like "You're the funniest mother fucker on this webbed site" that's Val. Val's the funniest. Their comics always make me bark laugh like an idiot. Writes very poetically, reading their stuff is like. Like being punched but with a soft caress. Val art is good for the soul, me thinks. Even their doodles on receipt paper give me all the chemicals. Hanging out with Val leaves me smiling for the rest of the day, very fun company.

@cloudyvoid: SUPER talented. Can you believe they drew and rigged their own Vtuber model? I know, impressive right? Draws the DCA skrunkly and lanky just how I like 'em. BRAINS SO HARD WITH ME ABOUT DROWSIE AND GAIA!!? Very nice wonderful person as well, fun company. And ooughhh I just love the oc brainrot with her. Could do it all day, love you mwah.

@crazedauthor: Knows all the fanfics. Well maybe not all, but knows the ones I happen to be thinking about. Pops in mid brainstorm to add something juicy that adds fuel to the fire. Human gasoline. Got obliterated by 1 (one) chip. o7

@daunsun: Another sketch machine. Gives me Eclipse content. FIABC liker, which automatically elevates her status. Tries to shoot people who make fanart, but she deserves it so idk what to tell you. And then turns around and makes fanart for other ppl. smh double standards. Love the way she draws humans. And the boys, but that goes without saying. Honestly the way daun draws the boys is sooo good it's like. I can't even describe. It's like cupcake. Long cupcake.

@cakesfunhouse: Hi __ I'm Cole looking ass. Shoots me dead with fluffy ramblings all the fucking time. Brainstorms really well, dropping good ideas like they had them shoved in their pockets ready to throw. Actually really sweet and fun to talk to. Gremlin, though so beware, they bite. Draws biblically accurate dca fluff, so what's not to love. Will pop in randomly while you're talking to someone else to add something that kills me dead. Like wheezing laughter.

@nmfergus: Nikki my beloved 💜 such a sweetheart, loves to see people happy and excited, always asking questions and seeing how everyone is doing. CHICKENS!!! Farmville. Also Corndrop. Ask Nikki about corndrop. Can you guess what he sells? It's corn. The answer is corn.

@paper-lilypie: LILY!!! omg Lily real. Art is all soft lines and easy to read expressions and kisses and snuggles and basically when I see lily art it's like drinking a cup of hot cocoa. Also the way Lily draws hands? God, what a legend. Give me your hands. Little hater. And enabler. But she's my little hater/enabler so it's okay ❤️ love me a good Lily spotting. Has good au ideas too.

@sycopomp: SYBORG!!! I wouldn't be making this post if it weren't for them and Monnster. Sy writing makes brain go brrrr. Has this way of setting stuff up that pays off later? Like little hints into things that are really fun to pick apart/notice on your own. I can always picture what's happening in Sy writing really well which sucks for me personally when they write ouchie owies. But I love them for it mwah ❤️

@sinnabee: AH Sinna!!! Magician Au makes my brain neurons activate so hard. Very sweet as well, love doing magmas with her. Also funny and caring. Don't get to hang out with much because if timezones but I am always very happy when I do get to vibe with a Sinna. Has wonderful beautiful line work and cool ocs I want to know more about.

@spaciebabie: Chaos. (I'm tempted to have that be the only thing I put here) Also makes me laugh!! drops in and says some shit that has me giggling sillystupid. Art is bubbly. Round. Rotund. Want to get to know better!!! Pizza.

Special Mentions/People I want to get to know better:

@oobbbear: Bearz. Bearz my beloved. Your art makes my heart explode. And you're so funny even without knowing you well. 👁👁 The way you draw so chibi and yet so detailed? Like the way you draw hands? Impeccable. Also H mouth. H mouth so cute. I honestly don't think I would have gotten into drawing Sun and Moon fanart if it wasn't for Bearz' aus infecting me like a disease. So everyone say thank you to Bearz for roping me into this!

@hexheathen: MY NUMBER ONE FAN ❤ My bestie who doesn't know the jesties. I love you with all my heart, and I love spending time with you and the rest of our pals. This is my appreciation post and I say you get appreciated.

@bones-of-a-rabbit: SHY BEAN. Drops some cute ass shit and skitters away. Wish I could know better! They have a lot of good ideas and honestly I see them as one of the best fluff writers for DCA content. It was in Reality Not Fine my beloved. I've said it once and I'll say it again: They really capture the word "Lovestruck" with their expressions. When people say, "They looked at them like they hung the moon and the stars," I imagine the way Rabbit draws sun and moon looking at y/n. It's honestly such a talent.

[ameliapples]

I see people on other platforms talking about cohost going down and I generally see the same few complaints being trotted out over and over as the reasons why it failed and was doomed to fail from the start. "It kept logging me out", "there was no app", "my timeline was always dead", "I got so little engagement", "I had to wait how long before I could post??". It's the stuff people have complained about with the platform forever, and while I think these complaints are generally a bit silly, they do arrive at what's probably the real reason we're all mourning the impending death of eggbug without realizing it.

A big part of what made cohost so different from other social media platforms is that it was the only platform where you had to actually want to be there. Every other platform is basically designed to hold you at gunpoint and force your attention and engagement 24/7. The gun in this situation being mostly fomo - everything is happening so rapidly, there's so much to keep track of, what if you miss something? what if it's something really big and you don't tweet about it within the first 5 minutes of it happening? what if you miss the next Main Character? there's a new one every day and they're forgotten as quickly as they arrive, but a month from now someone's gonna bring it up as a joke and you won't get it and you'll look lame and cringe! you don't want to look Lame and also Cringe, do you?

cohost never felt that way. If you were there, it was because you genuinely wanted to be. The site was designed to ensure that, even. You had to wait about a week after you made an account to ensure you weren't a spam bot before you could post at all. Once you could post, there was no algorithm. None. Nothing was fed into your feed that wasn't directly posted to a tag you follow or a person you follow. If you wanted to see something outside of that, you'd have to do the legwork browsing tags yourself. For budgetary reasons, there was never an app, so you had to either learn to set up a shortcut icon on your phone or else open it manually in a browser. It also logged you out every 30 days as a privacy and security measure. You had to want to jump through all these hoops to use cohost.

And what did you get for doing the effort? Peace. A social media environment that didn't feel like you were constantly stood in the center of Time Square with all the noise and marquees and heckling voices focused directly at you at all times. It didn't try to be a news site, or an advertising platform. No algorithm meant you only got what you actively chose to see, and nothing more. You could say in your head "lemme check cohost real quick", and you could be up-to-date on your timeline in under 5 minutes. It was a place you would willingly go to check in on friends or look at cool art or play around with html like it was 2004 again, not get sucked into for hours doom scrolling. Because there was no algorithm, no push for engagement, no numbers that publicly went up, no one was competing for attention or clout. No one I ever met on cohost was immediately antagonistic, or rude, or trying to dunk someone. People were chill, FRIENDLY even, in a way I have never seen on twitter or tumblr even back in "the good ol days". The adversarial, cliquey, petty nonsense we all expect from social media was almost entirely absent. It was peaceful, quiet. It was the only social media platform I've used to not give me anxiety, or a migraine.

So of course it fell apart. We live in a world where things require money to simply exist, and cohost was designed basically not to make any by virtue of having virtues. It refused to advertise, sell user data in any way, open a weird shop where you can put microscopic pngs next to your name, or force people's worst impulses in order to keep them on the site for as long as possible. It ran off merch purchases and cohost plus, which was meant to give you premium features but never got the chance to do much more than upping your file size limit on uploads. It was essentially a $5 a month donation. It wasn't enough, clearly.

So now it's going, but I don't really think saying it "failed" is right. If anything, it's made it clear what a failure the rest of the social media ecosystem is. Usually when a platform is dying, or looks to be dying (in the case of twitter, or tumblr post 2018), people immediately make plans to jump ship to a new one. But upon hearing that cohost was shutting down, my reaction, as well as that of a pretty large portion of the user base, was that we'd rather spend time on other things. Cohost was so different an atmosphere it seems to have had a healing property on people who used it. It wasn't perfect, moderation was spotty at times due to the limited staff, people had their blind spots and biases they sometimes struggled to work through. But it was better than what we've grown to expect. It made you realize how tiring the rest of the internet has become, and that you don't need to deal with it. You can better spend that time, doing things you enjoy with people you enjoy. Maybe even outside, if you can muster it. You might even meet some cool people out there, wearing cool patches, eulogizing a cool little website, with a funny lil bug shaped like an egg.

[newbizarrebird]

so there's been a post floating around about how the new gta game is going to cost 150$ at launch. this is obviously not true, and it takes about five seconds of googling to realize that. I personally have no stake in this, I've never played a grand theft auto game and don't plan to play this new one, but this still seemed weird to me.

the reason I decided to look into this is because at the same time tumblr was getting up in arms about the price, people on twitter were freaking out because the gta6 trailer has too many black people in it. I don't think there's some racist conspiracy to generate bad press about this game to stop people from buying it. I did look into the original source for the 150$ as I could find it and the website does have another article that has some phrasing that I find questionable, but they weren't written by the same author, so I don't know. there's probably no connection and I doubt this is a targeted attack to take down 'woke game, grand theft auto six'. mostly the site seems like a place to find out how to get new skins in fortnite. like I said, I'm not invested in gta, I don't want to go too far down this rabbit hole.

my point here really is that I've seen people for the last few days going wild about the James Somerton videos (I've been right there too, no judgement), but then reblog misinformation themselves without a second thought. what we need to learn from James Somerton is to be critical of things that feed into our own biases. plenty of people, myself included, are rightfully pissed with major game studios charging 70$ for games now, so people are ready and willing to believe the worst of them, even when the claims are kind of silly and unsubstantiated. misinformation is rampant right now, and this is a pretty minor case for something that doesn't really matter, and hell, maybe I'm wrong and the game will cost 150$ on release. there's probably going to be some big definitive edition that's almost that much that gives you a bunch of dlc and lets you fuck your car. I've never played a grand theft auto game, maybe you can already do that. but if something sounds a little off or like it's feeding too much into something you already want to believe, maybe take a second to look it up and find a source yourself. that's all.

[lex-dalan]

Hello Tumblr!

It's @nameless-writer-for-stories here, remember me? Dang, it's been like 5 years since I went on hiatus. My life had been nuts and still is now.

I would like to apologize to those who followed me (through these users: @nameless-writer-for-stories @rwby-dust) for the radio silence and long overdue hiatus. I did not mean to leave you all in the dark without explanations.

My previous years of Tumblr wasn't that bad, the issue was me. To be honest, I literally had no clue what I was doing despite my imaginations and urge to show my creativeness. Let's just say growing up into a full adult is a literal rollercoaster for me so I wasn't really myself at that time. There were times I tend to feel doubt in my writing and art, and experienced inferiority complex--which was definitely not good so I had to leave the social media to clear my head.

I resumed to practicing my drawing skills before I entered college in 2019. Around that time, I was late to join Arknights, a tower-defense game that was released in early January. And boy, it was the best game for me. Because of its art and lore, I got inspired to come back for creating art. I was not confident if I can make a return in Tumblr so, I decided to try Twitter with a fresh start and didn't bother posting my Tumblr works because of my insecurities. My first experience there was awkward and barely gained any followers so I was doubting myself again.

However, I stopped doubting and started thinking, "the only reason you didn't have anything is because you're not pushing to try more." Later on, I tried posting new art contents like mini comics and some of my favourite Arknights characters. It was slow progress and I only had 76 followers. Honestly, it was okay for me since it means I needed to improve more--until I got roped into League of Legends because of Starguardians2022. Not gonna lie, I was attracted to that because of the potential angst material (I'm crazy lol), especially Akali. There's just something about her that I can relate in a deeper level and I fell in love with her prime lore and SG lore.

So, I started drawing Lol content and also tried playing the game. Several days later, I finally got 100 followers! I was really happy and decided to keep it up. I'm still drawing Arknights content whenever I feel like it, and I'm planning to make a fan Star Guardian story with a little twist.

Just when I started to make more posts, the Elon Musk incident happened. I won't explain the details because I know that everyone has seen the news. Everyone in Twitter began talking about moving into different social medias but honestly, it's hard to leave Twitter behind because everyone was comfortable in speaking their thoughts and sharing things that they couldn't be able to share in real life, and I feel that way too. I came back to Tumblr with a good reason--that is to keep going. Sure, it's sad that Twitter is doomed to close but if it weren't for that site, I would have not be able to meet people who shows confidence in showing their artworks, and fan literature. Whether they're silly drawings or shenanigans, they are truly dedicated and passionate in their works. They inspired me to keep trying and show the best of what I can do.

Until Twitter does shut itself down, I will bring everything from that site to here. So, yeah---

I'M ALIVE FELLAS!

[caffeinated-chaos-bean]

Posting this here because I feel like standing up for myself. Do I need to? Probably not, but it's going to make me feel better and given I have addressed this type of behavior in the pinned post on my blog, I just feel it needs to be addressed.

I like Michael Jackson and his music. I've sias it before and I'll say it again, I don't care what your opinion of him is so long as you aren't being petty and using it as a means to get under my skin. I understand that people make their MJ jokes and their silly "hee hee" jokes, buy at least they can actually be SEEN as jokes. Even if they may be off color, they still can easily be read as a joke. Fine. So long as those jokes are NOT at mine or someone else's expense, it's whatever. But the moment when you make a "joke" that literally consists of less than 4 words and then get defensive when someone doesn't immediately get the "joke" and turn to insults is just bullshit and stupid.

Below are some screenshots of an interaction with someone who I am going to just consider a troll and won't be interacting with further. I will not say what site this is on, but if you use their mobile app then I'm sure you'll recognize it. While I'm annoyed with them, I do want to make it a point and say DO NOT go after and harass them. It isn't worth the time or effort, and it's just going to cause more problems. However, I didn't hide their username because it's a way to let others know that they are, at least from this interaction and my opinion, a troll.

As I touched on with them in my final response, this type of behavior and "joke" can, believe it or not, trigger someone's anxiety and ptsd from past events, and that's exactly what this did to me.

I didn't know about Michael until it shook the world and crashed the internet that he had passes away. This was my introduction to his music and his legacy and I loved it. I was in 5th grade and I went gung-ho with the hyperfixation and this lasted until the summer after leaving 6th grade. I got my friends together and we did the Thriller dance for our 5th grade talent show. I bought his autobiography and my family bought me several other books and affordable accessories that I would like. Hell, I got vote the 3ds and Wii copies of MJ the Experience video game lmao.

But... why did my love for him and his music only last those two years?

Because I was bullied. Heavily bullied. I was made a target by all the stuck up girls and stupid boys from then on and I never really heard the end of it until getting into higschool. I was told how the only reason that I liked his music was because I secretly hoped he would kidnap me, take me to Neverland, and rape me "like he did to all the other little boys and girls". Parents of these kids would even chuckle and their kids' behavior ans bullying NEVER was reprimanded, being written off as kids being kids. Whenever Thriller came on at our elementary school dances, I wanted to have fun and dance yet these bullies would make the effort to literally try and trip me and make me fall to the floor and laugh every time and is the reason I stopped going to any school dances until my senior prom.

This bullying made me stop listening to Michael's music. Note that I was roughly 13 years old at this time. I didn't listen to ANY of his music again and probably never would have if it weren't for my one IRL friend surprising me by putting an MJ spotify playlist on in her car while she drove me to the mall for my 22nd birthday.

Note that age gap? 13yrs to 22yrs. I stopped listening to his music for almost 10 years because of the bullying and harassment I'd suffered from growing up. And yes, after that I went into another hypwrfixation because I forgot how much his music helped me relax and just let go for once.

So again, what may seem like a joke to you may not to others and just might trigger their anxiety and ptsd. It sure did for me with this troll and their "joke". When this happens, my ptsd is triggered and I go on the defensive and, as a redhead, get upset. Rightfully upset, at that.

Mind how your "jokes" may come across. It may be funny for you, but for some it brings emotional flashbacks and can trigger someone's anxiety and ptsd.

[lilithfairen]

I'm thinking back to that old story I wrote, the "Reborn as a Magical Girl Villain" one. The way it quickly gained popularity in reads and comments and ratings. I didn't make very much effort to promote it, and yet it just surpassed Papillon with ease. I'd smash out chapters in a few hours in the morning, give them the quickest edit, then post them at random times on random days and it just kept going.

Sure, it was posted on a site where the tropes it used were popular. Reincarnation, "isekai", villain protagonist, yadda yadda. So what kind of site would Papillon be popular on? The most exposure and success it's seen was on Ao3...a site that's primarily for fanfic.

I've tried writing communities here and on Twitter. I'd participate in a few ask games and the like. And it always gave me the same impression, all the time. People would hit those social-media buttons, but I'd very rarely get any sort of comments or questions about my stories. Maybe I'm wrong, but it always just left me with the same impression all the time: that folks would register what kind of stories I write, go "good for you" with an obligatory polite smile, then roll their eyes as they're walking away. All the preconceptions, judgements, the like...plus all the folks to whom "magical girl" probably means nothing whatsoever to.

When I've searched for communities for magical-girl creators...they're focused all but entirely on webcomics. Many of them take the Madoka-copycat approach, just another reminder of the dinosaur of an albatross I've wrapped around my neck. If you aren't putting an Edgy And Mature twist on the genre, or some other condescending smarter-than-thou approach, what's the point?

I know I'm writing in a dead genre. That's probably the main thing. Heck, I knew all about the negative preconceptions and stereotypes towards the genre when I started writing the story. I enjoyed the idea, and I'd enjoyed writing it. I enjoyed doing subsequent drafts. I used to daydream about the worldbuilding, get so excited at work because I came up with a cool idea. Now it just doesn't feel fulfilling at all to even think about. I don't know why it matters. Other people weren't reading and commenting as I wrote the darn thing. Why does other people's validation matter at all? Did the stories I enjoyed that inspired me to create my own stories mean anything differently if they weren't popular, or had vocal hatedoms?

I just don't know how to bring that magic back. The silly irony I had for the reboot, huh. It's just something I've put so much heart and soul into that to throw it away and give up would be tearing a piece of myself out and stamping on it—yet at the same time that part of me is doing nothing good for myself. And the simple fact remains that even if I walk away and start something new...if the idea that I ended up being more passionate about than anything else was a complete bust, why do I have any reason to believe any other idea I'm passionate about will be just as successful? What if I were to start a new project...and it once again easily surpassed in popularity what I devoted so much time and effort into?

I'm just so tired of there not being a right answer, except there is, but I can't make myself stop caring about stupid things that shouldn't matter. With everything in the world, everything in my life...being meaningful to me isn't enough for me, and I know that's stupid, but that's just the way my brain works.

I don't know what writing this will do. It probably won't really change anything. It won't make my brain stop working in stupid ways. I might just delete it later.

I almost wish I could just...start over. A new pen-name, trying again. Like I've just irreparably destroyed any chance I've had at being successful over the years. Yet at the same time, I know of folks who are successful despite being stupid in the same ways. I know of people who become successful or more so by being stupid. So I just don't know how to overcome that, real or imagined, and the feeling of that.

[just-miru]

asdkdkskskks-

kinda funny how thanks to this hellsite (affectionate) i am finally starting to make some changes in my life

[theangrypokemaniac]

@its-whitetomorrow

I appreciate that you take the time out of your day to read my witterings, and respond to them in detail, but I'm somewhat intellectually limited and it takes a while to write an answer.

The final one is a bit of a problem. The original post is long, your bit is long, and my addition is probably twice both put together.

Did you know Tumblr has a limit: no more than two hundred and fifty text blocks per post? I discovered this from experience, unsurprisingly.

I think the only solution is to split it across several posts.

I wasn't going to say anything, but I suppose I should.

I started this blog last May, to relieve the boredom of my main embarrassment, whose only likes (all three of them) were from porn bots.

It wasn't even meant to be about Pokémon. I'd left the fandom years previously. It was odds and ends, but I happened to find a few silly screen shots so wrote a couple of joke remarks, not expecting a ripple of interest.

Within a couple of hours I got more notes than t'other's managed even to this day. I had the idea this was where I was more at home, so I started taking it seriously.

My pseudonym was just daft thing I'd made up previously, to reflect that, whilst still in love with old days, I'm not exactly pleased with how it's gone.

I thought it might stand out as memorable, plus I like acronyms, so it affords me the opportunity to call myself 'T.A.P.'

In the early days the focus was on the 'maniac' aspect. Anger as a description didn't fit at all. The farther back you go, the more stupid and clownish it gets. It's not been like this all the way through!

Seriously, it used to be an entertainment blog, designed to make people laugh. It's all ages: no swearing, no porn, nothing to put anyone off.

(This post under discussion contains the only profanity I've ever deployed. I thought saving it up might add some oomph.)

I mean it, it's was all light-hearted ridicule. Every so often, there would be a slightly cutting remark, but mild compared to now.

Then, last September, someone I spoke to regularly, who assured me we were friends, suddenly cut off all contact.

At first I wasn't aware of it, but by October it became too glaring a silence to ignore.

I thought rifts started because of massive disagreements, but as far as I remembered our last exchange ended normally.

I found out by accident that the reason for it was because I am repugnant and morally inferior and so swollen with my own ego that the existence of others doesn't register. Instead they are but soulless droids built to worship the great T.A.P. mollusc.

Well that was news to me. I had no idea I came across like that. As far as I knew, I was on my best behaviour when we interacted.

I was polite. I tried to be ingratiate myself. I kept talk to the fandom. I didn't pry. I attempted humour when the opportunity arose.

I thought I'd done all I could to be liked, but apparently I hadn't. It was a revolting experience for them, for all of saying they loved me and I was 'honey'.

It really, really, really got to me, and the feeling hasn't abated, if anything it's worse.

As I said, I don't know what I did wrong, and because I don't, I can't mend my ways. If I am this repellant waste of flesh I'd like to change, but if I'm not told my offence, what am I meant to do?

If what I thought was the best I could be wasn't good enough, and instead was so sickening I don't deserve their presence, then I have no idea how to interact with people.

Maybe every time I respond to someone, thinking I'm at worst, civil, is really grotesque conceit, because my arrogance is so extreme I'm not even aware it's there. In my head it sounds normal.

It'd be too easy to scoff that they were the one with the problem, but, given all the arguments that happen in life, it can't always be someone else's fault. It's got to be you at least once.

They obviously think they were justified, so who's to say they weren't?

You may say not to let it worry me, that I should just get over it, and you'd be totally right. Being bothered makes me feel pathetic and petty on top of the rest, but this is me you're talking to, not a sane person. Self-hatred is more instinctive to me than breathing.

I always dwell on the negative. If one hundred people were assembled, ninety-nine of whom declared me the most wonderful being ever to live, and one remarked I wasn't all that special, it's him I'd remember. 

It's called ghosting because that's what happens. There comes a moment when you accept that, no, it's over, rejected again, and it's like realising I'd died, and had been gone for a while.

Except I hadn't noticed the process, so I was always dead in a way, and they spoke to the silvery silhouette left behind, until that too dispersed into untraceable nothingness. Again,  the silence is my fault for dying, not theirs.

I feel there's no point in messaging anyone, because I'll only disgust them too. Some blogs encourage contact, and when I see it I always think:

Yeah, but they don't mean YOU.

If it's another person I already spoke to, I can't shut up. I bombard them with text in the hope they know I don't think they're a menial droid. Every one I immediately regret, and wish I could take back, because that will irritate them until I'm just a sad, nagging past.

The Ghost-Maker used to reblog 99% of my work. This dropped to nothing overnight, so not only am I worthless, but so is everything I do.

Posts G.M. didn't like got 0-5 notes. Ones they did had 20+. Many a time, it took their reblog for anyone else to notice.

It was like others used that blog as a filter to pull the fool's gold from the murk of this one. Once their favour evaporated, so did a lot of the goodwill from elsewhere, so it's was as if Tumblr agreed I was scum.

Saying that above just shows they were right, because it takes one smug bastard to believe their existence registers with anyone else.

Please don't think I'm demanding likes, that my stuff deserves them, although as I'm arrogant I am. It's just that 99% to 0% is a bit of a fall.

Up til then, I held back much of what I thought about the current state of the anime, as they liked it, but now I have no reason to stop.

If I'm to be accused of all these vices I might as well have them. I'm dead, so who cares what I say? No one listens to a ghost.

It's not that I'm unconcerned if I upset anyone, it's just the truth that I don't matter enough for what I write to be valued enough to offend.

As a ghost, I think of this blog as invisible. It's there, but not really, so how can anyone mind?

Incidentally, the first week I was here I got blocked by someone who hates all fans from the Nineties. I don't care about that, as they sound like a cretin, and I'd have to be defective to gain their approval.

I just want to say I find that moronic. I don't hate new fans at all. I wouldn't block someone because we disagreed.

Blocking denies people access to your blog, stating they don't deserve your ART. That's arrogant to me.

Blocker likes Ghost-Maker, but...

Ever since around October, I've progressively become angrier and angrier. Whenever I'm here or Pokémon enters my head, it just reminds that I'm pond slime, about the most crude, malformed half-life freak you can envision.

I don't like being here anymore. I keep intending to leave, the site and the fandom, and set fire to it all before I go, wipe away the slug trail to spare people's stomachs.

I kept quiet until now, but holding it in just made it more intense. If I may describe myself in ridiculously flattering terms, I feel like a shaken champagne bottle, but the cork is welded in, so the only option is for the glass to shatter.

If anyone's reading this, wondering where the fun went, well this is why I flipped. The red mist won't clear. I can't see beyond it.

I won't name Ghost-Maker, because I don't want to start anything, plus most will take their side. They may see this as they still rifle round these parts occasionally for posts that aren't mine.

Well done, Ghostie. You're the lucky one. We'll never meet and you haven't seen me. Pity the poor sods I've encountered. There must be vomit trails across the land provoked by my vile condition. I wasn't aware of this until you let me in on the secret.

There's an English television presenter called Caroline Flack. She killed herself yesterday and everyone loved her. I feel guilty that I'm alive and she's not.