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storiesforallfandoms · 10 months

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i need someone older ~ william afton;five nights at freddy's

word count: 3794

request?: no

description: after a bad breakup, she finds herself becoming more and more attracted to her much older boss

pairing: william afton x female!reader

warnings: swearing, age gap (reader is mid 20s, afton is 50s), power imbalance technically (but it's fine), bit of an au (so he doesn't unalive anyone in this one)

masterlist (one, two, three)

I stormed into work, really pushing it for time. I had slept past my alarm and was incredibly reluctant to get out of bed. After the night I had, the last thing I wanted was to work eight hours in a children's restaurant, with screaming kids and the animatronics playing the same three songs all day. But I needed the money, and hopefully a distraction.

"Whoa, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?" my coworker, Adam, asked.

"Fuck off," I muttered. "I gotta go change into my uniform. Can you punch me in so I'm not late?"

"Yeah. Be quick, though. Afton's here."

I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't even know our names. He's not going to know I'm supposed to be on the clock."

I changed as quickly as I could while having limited space in a tiny bathroom stall. I stuffed my clothes into my backpack and did a quick double check in the mirror to make sure I was work appropriate. I wasn't paying enough attention as I stepped out of the bathroom and managed to literally run into someone who was walking past. I cursed under my breath as I looked up and came face to face with the fucking owner of Freddy Fazbear's.

As if this day couldn't get any worse.

"|'m so sorry, Mr. Afton," I said.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Where's the fire, though? You seem like you're in a hurry."

How do I answer this without getting in shit? "I'm just, uh...trying not to be late. I had to change, and bring my bag to my locker."

William looked down at his watch. I felt my heart starting to pound.

"Cutting it a little close there," he commented.

"I know."

My grip on my bag had tightened as I braced for the worst. I had never met William before. Despite owning the restaurant, he was rarely ever around. Whenever he was, he was usually tucked away in his office for most of the day and only ever spoke with our manager. Due to this, I didn't know if he would be a hard ass who was about to write me up for running late. After the events of the previous night, I didn't think I'd be able to take getting reprimanded today.

He took me by surprise when he smiled and said, "Just don't let it happen again, okay?"

I nodded, unable to form any words, and scurried around him to the lockers.

Adam looked at me when I finally returned to the floor. "What took you so long?"

"I ran into Afton," I responded.

His eyes widened. "Did he give you shit?"

"Luckily no. Just told me not to let it happen again."

"I warned you that he was here."

I flipped Adam off when I was sure none of the kids could see me.

As if my day couldn't get any worse, my manager came to tell me that I was stationed on the prize counter for the day. The prize counter was probably the worst part of the restaurant. There was never any downtime at the counter. Either there was rowdy children hopped up on candy and pizza screaming about wanting toys they didn't have enough tickets for, or there were tired parents wanting to buy tokens for the arcade games while their rowdy kids were nearby screaming. Not to mention it was right next to the main stage, so the sound of screaming children was only matched by the sound of pre-recorded music coming from the animatronics' speakers. And to top it all off, the closing duties for the prize counter took longer than any other section of the restaurant.

It was the worst section to work, and I already wanted to leave just knowing that was my station for the day.

The only plus side was that being kept busy made the day fly by. But the usual craziness of Freddy Fazbear's was extra unbearable to a point where I felt myself on the edge of tears numerous times. I knew it was going to be a bad idea for me to be at work, and I was really regretting coming in.

I let out a sigh of relief as the last family finally left and the animatronics finally powered down. Adam laughed at me as I put my head down on the cool glass that held the prizes. "You're giving yourself more work to do."

I looked at the smudge I had left on the glass before glaring up at him. "I don't think my one smudge is making things any worse."

"Okay seriously, what is up with you? You've been grumpy all day."

I sighed and shook my head. "I had a bad night."

"Do you want me to help you close up so you can get out of here sooner?"

I gave him a look. "We both know you don't actually want that."

"But I'd do it to help you."

"I appreciate it, but I'll be fine. My annoyance and desire to leave will make me work faster."

Adam didn't fight me on it anymore. He said goodnight and clocked out. Once I heard the front door close and lock, I immediately got to work with cleaning. That was the easiest part as all I had to do was clean the glass of the prize case and pick up the discarded tickets from the floor. When I finished that, I started counting the cash in order to close it off. That was supposed to be another easy task, but my mind being anywhere but the task at hand made it so much harder.

Restocking the prizes was the hardest part. I had been on my own for nearly an hour, and I was both mentally and physically exhausted, so I was trying to rush out of there but found myself fumbling a little extra. I was trying to dump a box of tiny soldier toys into their respective bin when the box slipped from my hands and landed on its side, the toys scattering all over the floor.

It was my breaking point. Everything finally came crashing down around me and the flood gates finally opened. I lowered myself to the floor, sitting with my back against the counter. I buried my head into my hands and began to sob.

"Seems like a bit of a strong reaction to dropping some toys."

I jumped and looked towards where the voice had come from. I was sure I was the only one left in the restaurant, everyone else having left while I was doing my closing duties. Even my manager had left, giving me the keys and the code to the security system. But, turns out, I was wrong, because there was William Afton leaning over the counter to look down at me.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, wiping the tears from my face. "S-Sorry Mr. Afton. I-I didn't realize - "

"Hey, it's okay," he said, cutting me off and speaking in a soft voice. "What's going on? You seem stressed."

"It's...personal things. I shouldn't have let it interfere with my work."

"Fuck the professional shit for a second here. Forget I'm your boss, forget we're on the clock. If there's anything going on that you want to talk about, I'm all ears."

I leaned against the counter across from him. "It's stupid."

"You're crying, so I don't think it's that stupid."

I sighed. "My boyfriend broke up with me last night, after admitting he's been cheating on me for the last three months."

William whistled in response. "That's tough."

I nodded. "It just...came out of nowhere. We've been together for three years, moved in together last year. There was no signs that anything was wrong. I didn't even suspect that he was cheating. He came home last night and suddenly told me everything. Packed a bag and went to his...I guess...girlfriend's house. Told me he'd be back at some point this week to get his stuff."

Tears were stinging my eyes again. I looked away so William wouldn't see me cry anymore. Upon looking down, I realized my bare arms were on the glass of the prize counter, leaving smudges again. I cursed under my breath and turned to grab the cleaner again.

"Here, let me," William said, reaching for the cleaner. "You pick up the toy soldiers and I'll help restock the prizes once I finish this."

I was a little shocked, but definitely was not about to argue over getting help. We worked much quicker as a team and, finally, I was able to clock out to leave. I stood by as William set the security system and locked the gates.

"Thank you for helping me," I said.

"You don't have to thank me," he said. "It seemed you needed help, and I wasn't about to let one of my employees struggle while I was on the property." I smiled at him and started for my car. "For what it's worth - " I paused and turned back to him. " - your ex-boyfriend is a fucking idiot. You seem like a great woman. Don't beat yourself up over him."

He smiled and turned to walk towards his own car. I watched him go, surprised by what he said. Even through the cold night air, I could feel my face burning.

~~~~~~

William was around more after that. Not just in his office, but he was actually out on the floor. Everyone was noticing his increased presence, but I found myself noticing it in a different way. Whenever William was near, my eyes were practically glued to him. I found it difficult to concentrate whenever he was around. Luckily, everyone else was so distracted by his presence that they didn't notice how useless I had become.

It was wrong. I knew that. Having a crush on a coworker was bad enough, but a crush on your boss was a whole other level of bad. Especially when your boss is so much older. I had no idea whether or not he was even married or had kids for God's sake!

But every time I saw him, I couldn't stop my heart from racing. I wanted him in a way I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't stop myself.

During one of my shifts, I was put on the serving section. Serving was easy enough - take orders, bring food, check on tables. The hardest part was trying not to trip over a child running past while carrying a whole pizza on a hot tray. Most of us had learned the art of scanning the area before we walked, but sometimes you just don't notice quick enough and end up surprised by one of those little fuckers.

One of the cooks passed a pizza through the pass to me and told me the table number. I took the tray and balanced it against my shoulder, something I found was the easiest way to balance the bigger trays. The restaurant wasn't too busy, but there were still enough kids running around that I took in my surroundings before I started to walk. I was making a mental note about two kids who were stood by the stage, dancing to the song that Freddy was "singing", and didn't notice another kid who was racing from one of the playrooms in front of me. I stopped suddenly, just short of running into him, but found myself losing my balance after he ran past.

I felt two hands grab hold of my waist, holding me upright and saving me from a very embarrassing scene. When I turned to thank my savior, I came to face the blue eyes I had been trying to desperately to avoid today.

"That could've been a disaster," William said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Th-thank you," I managed to stutter out. I could still feel the heat of his hands against my waist, like they were burning through the clothes and searing my skin. I almost forgot the heavy tray of pizza I was carrying in that moment.

When he let me go, his eyes still trained on me, I quickly turned and hurried to my table. I tried not to seem so flustered, but I knew I had failed. I stuttered through every sentence before finally dismissing myself to the prize counter where one of my other coworkers, Beth, was snickering to herself.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Don't ask," I responded.

"Oh, I'm asking. Are you all hot and bothered for Afton?!"

"Shh!" I snapped, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one had heard. Not like anyone would over the usual noise of the restaurant.

"Oh, you so are!" she said. "Holy shit, (Y/N), you know that's bad news right? He's literally our boss."

"I know he is. I'm not stupid. But...I can't help it!"

"At least he would be more of a gentleman than that small dick asshole you call your ex." She looked over her shoulder as the front door to the pizzeria opened. When she looked back, her eyes were wide. "Speak of the devil."

I looked over to see none other than the small dick asshole himself, Josh, walking in. I wished I could disappear into the floor and never be seen again. I tried to turn and walk away before he spotted me, but no luck.

"(Y/N)!"

I groaned and turned back to him. "What do you want, Josh?"

"I was just over getting the last of my stuff - "

"Awesome, I do not care. If you've come to give me your key back, you could've just left it on the dining room table."

"No, I came to say that I couldn't find my Springsteen album."

I furrowed my eyebrows and crossed my arms. "So you came all this way to...what? Ask me what I did with it? I have no idea, Josh, I threw everything that was yours into boxes and garbage bags. If it's not in there, you might've left it in your car or at your new girlfriend's house."

"It's not any of those places." I wasn't sure if I should've been hurt about the fact that he wasn't addressing my last comment directly, but I definitely was a little bit.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"I wanted to see when you were going to be off work and maybe I could come by to look for it with you."

I scoffed. "Are you serious right now? Josh, I don't know what the fuck happened to your album, but you're sure as hell not coming over to the house. That is not your place anymore, and you're very much not welcome there."

"Why can't we be adults about this?"

"You lost the right to being adult about this the second you decided to cheat on me! And how dare you say that shit, but then come down to my place of work to try and, what, harass me into letting you back into my home? We're over, Josh. I don't ever want to see you again. If I find any of your shit left at the house, I'll drop it in the trash."

"What seems to be the problem here?"

I suppressed the urge to groan again. As if things couldn't get any more complicated.

"No problem, Mr. Afton," I said, turning to face William with the best, innocent smile I could muster. "Just an...unwelcome guest."

William looked at me for a moment before letting his eyes wander to Josh. I didn't have to say much else for him to recognize who the "unwelcome guest" was and I could see anger in his eyes.

"Well, time to get back to work, (Y/N)," he said to me. "Your customers are waiting."

I nodded and ducked away from the situation. As I walked away, Josh called after me, "That's fine, I'll be waiting for you to get off! We can talk more then!"

"Like hell you will."

A collective gasp from the parents and Beth cause me to spin around to see William had grabbed hold of the collar of Josh's shirt. William was easily a head taller than Josh, so even if the act wasn't meant to be intimidating, he definitely looked intimidating. I don't think I've ever seen such fear on Josh's face. William turned Josh around and basically dragged him towards the front door.

"If I see you back here, I will have your ass arrested," he said as he threw Josh out of the restaurant. "Are we clear, punk?"

He didn't wait for a response as he pulled the door shut. I could see Josh standing there, a mixture of fear and confusion on his face. William re-entered the main area, still looking angry, but tried to put on his best customer service smile as he addressed his new crowd. "Sorry everyone. Just an unruly customer. Sorry for any trouble."

To me he added, "Come see me in my office, please."

Beth and I exchanged a look before I followed William towards his office. I was so sure he was going to get upset with me. Not only had I brought my personal shit to the restaurant (even though that wasn't my fault), but it had also resulted in a not so great scene in front of the customers. People get to talking, and I was sure that this story was going to be spread through town before the night was out.

The moment I stepped into his office, I set in on the apologies. "Mr. Afton, I'm so sorry about that. I had no idea he was coming. I've been trying to avoid him while he's moving his stuff out and I guess he was getting tired of that or wanted to poke me one last time or something - "

"Did he hurt you?"

I paused my rambling to look up at him. All anger was gone from his face and had instead been replaced by concern.

"What?" I asked.

"Did he do anything to you just then?"

I shrugged. "Not physically. He was definitely still trying to mess with me mentally, though."

William nodded. "Well, he's not welcome on the property anymore. If you see him, you have my full permission to contact the police immediately."

"I...I don't think that's entirely necessary."

"I don't mean to sound like an old man or anything, but I've met plenty of assholes like your ex, (Y/N). You give them an inch and they take a mile. If you don't deal with this now, he will continue to come back and harass you. I don't want that for you. You don't deserve that."

I opened my mouth to say something else, but nothing came out. I was realizing how close we were now. We were mere inches away from one another. If I wanted to, I could just reach out and touch him right now; grab him. I could've kissed him right then and there if I really wanted to. Who would've known?

As if reading my mind, William suddenly reached out and cupped my face. Before I could comprehend what was happening, his lips were on mine. It was kind of ironic, the fact that I had just been thinking about doing this exact thing, but now that it was happening it was like my brain wasn't sure how to comprehend the situation.

William pulled away just as quickly as he had initiated the kiss. He backed away from me, suddenly worried. "I'm so sorry. I...I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have done that."

In response, I pretty well threw myself at him. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him with such force that it pushed him back into his desk. He positioned himself so that he was sat on his desk and basically pulled me into his lap. It was risky, anyone could've come by and caught us, but something about that just made the experience so much better; so much hotter.

William pulled away first again. I tried to chase his lips with mine, but he pushed me back, chuckling at my eagerness.

"Hold on," he said. "There's some things we have to discuss before this goes any further."

"Please don't tell me you're married," I said.

He laughed. "No, I'm not married. Divorced with a 10 year old daughter. That was the first thing I wanted to discuss, in case single dad is a dealbreaker."

"Very much not a dealbreaker."

"So...the age thing is also not a dealbreaker then?"

I shook my head. "If anything, I think that makes it kinda hotter."

A grin spread on his face. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind. But there is the big issue of the fact that I'm your boss."

It felt like I had been shoved off of cloud nine and come crashing down to earth. For a moment, I had forgotten that part. He was right, that was the biggest issue here. Kind of hard to get around it unless I ended up quitting, which I really did not want to do. It was nearly impossible to find a good paying job these days, and I needed this now more than ever since Josh wasn't going to be splitting rent with me anymore.

I climbed off of William's lap and stood across from him. "I guess...that is a big issue, huh?"

"I just don't want you to feel pressured into anything, and I don't want anyone to look at you any different because you're dating the boss."

I raised a playful eyebrow at him. "You jumped to dating pretty quickly there."

His smile was a little more bashful. "What can I say? I'm old school. I don't believe in hooking up or anything like that. If there's anything going on here, I want you to be able to classify it as a relationship."

In that moment, I found myself wondering why I hadn't always dated older men. I had wasted so much of my time on guys my age when I could've been dating someone who was actually a gentleman and cared about me and my feelings.

"Why don't we see where things go with this, and then we can tackle that big elephant in the room?" I asked.

"I think I can agree to that."

I took a step closer and said, "I really want to kiss you again, though."

He laughed and met me halfway, standing from his desk and taking my face in his hands again. When he kissed me, I felt like I was flying right back on to cloud nine.

#william afton #william afton imagine #william afton x reader #matthew lillard #matthew lillard imagine #matthew lillard x reader #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf movie #imagine #one shot #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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hedgehog-moss · 1 year

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I found a nice plant in a bog last year, like a reed with a tuft of very soft cotton at the top (bless you English, I just looked up "plant that grows in a bog and looks like cotton" and the English language replied "bog cotton, duh") (in French it's called linaigrette, which should be a small bird), and I was very charmed by the look of it and decided to try to pirate it so I would have some on my land. I plucked one fluffy reed and kept it on my windowsill so I wouldn't forget to return.

Of course, when I returned a few days later with a shovel and a bucket, I couldn't find the bog cotton again. Or the bog. It was a small swamp-y area in a very vast plateau with few landmarks, so it's possible I got turned around, but also, things tend to disappear around here sometimes, like the footpath that leads to the stream, only to reappear a few weeks later. I very much felt like I was in the correct location and the bog wasn't, but okay. Since I didn't trust myself to tell the normal reeds from the cotton-y ones in other seasons, I decided I'd come back around the same time next year.

I've had the linaigrette in my egg spiral in the kitchen this whole time as a memento, and I finally resumed my quest today. I left my car in the exact same spot where I'd left it the previous two times, just before the road gets squiggly for no apparent reason:

I climbed the hill and behind it were just miles and miles of estives (summer cow pastures) with sometimes a barn here and there with a mobile milking parlour. My plan was to follow every rivulet I came across, since I was looking for a watery area.

I picked a barn as a landmark to find my car again, and off we went.

Finding reeds wasn't difficult, but none of them had cotton tufts...

Pandolf was extremely aware that we were looking for something, but he wasn't sure what. Here he is digging in the mud with his paw, looking invested in this treasure hunt.

Sometimes he would stop with one paw poised in the air and his whole body pointed forwards like an English setter who just smelled a pheasant in a Heywood Hardy painting and it was always for cow herds. If I squinted and squinted I could be sure to find a cow on the horizon, the size of an ant—I think Pan was a bit disappointed when he realised I never followed up on the cows he smelled, and it probably wasn't cows we were looking for.

(zoom x400 in case you can't see this cow standing apart from her herd like a sentinel)

I tried to amuse him by giving him little challenges here and there, like climbing on big rocks because he likes rocks. He likes being congratulated even more, though, and if I didn't insist that he actually climb on the rock he would just sort of run towards it and push himself off of it like a swimmer doing a flip turn at the wall to run back to me even faster (for pats). (Had to turn off the sound in the video because the wind was loud, so I subtitled our dialogue)

Some challenges he politely declined to do. I like how despite being very eager to please he sometimes gives me very clear "no thank you"s when I tell him to do something that sounds absurd to him. We found a little waterfall that went down a slope like a mud toboggan and I said "down!" to tell him to slide down that thing and he was like

Our strategy of following water paid off, because look what we found eventually!!

I had a very hard time digging up one clump of reeds with some roots; the bog was holding on to its cotton for dear life. Every time I opened a hole in the mud with my shovel with a horrible sucking noise, the bog would immediately close on itself again with an even stronger vacuum. It also tried to eat my boots, repeatedly. When I moved around the reeds I was trying to steal I had to take my foot out of my boot, stand on one leg like a heron and put the tip of my shovel under the sole of the boot to pry it up. But after maybe 20min of effort, the bog finally let go of one muddy clump of reeds in a loud, dejected SLURP and I was able to put it in my bucket. It was about 10x heavier than I expected so the walk back to my car was slow!

(One thing to keep in mind if you're going to wrestle a swamp for half an hour, is that you're going to end up looking and smelling like a swamp creature. I had to stop at the post office to send a parcel and I really regretted not doing it earlier. It's funny because the post office lady is always like "no, don't worry, come in!! <3" when you show up on rainy days apologising for your muddy shoes, but when I arrived today and asked her from the entrance if I should just throw my parcel at her rather than go in, with my socks making a pitiful plop-plop sound in my boots as I walked, and mud freckles all over my face from aggressive shovelling, and overall looking like a gravedigger, she took one look at me and went "... yes, throw it.")

The good news is, I didn't get lost returning from the swamp to my car, and had no trouble finding my barn-landmark again, and there were new animals there, a nice mule with a retinue of small ponies.

She was friendly at first but then soured on me when I refused to let her sniff and maybe taste the reeds I'd had so much trouble digging up, and then she wouldn't let me approach her ponies.

One of the ponies approached Pandolf, and I told him to stand still—we've been working on "reste là !" (stay there) for a while and it's hard because he's so friendly and exuberant, so I was very proud of him when he stood there frozen as a marble statue, waiting for the pony to come closer. The pony ended up stopping at a prudent distance and stretching his neck out to try and sniff Pandolf, it was very cute.

That's the end of the quest for bog cotton! Here it is now, transplanted to the swamp-y part of my pasture, I hope it'll like it here.

#crawling along

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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AITA for not telling my partners I'm a system?

💚🐻

To preface this, I don't use Tumblr and I'm using my partner's account, so I would rather ask this anonymously. Forgive any non-tumblr-isms 😅.

This happened a while ago, but to be honest I can't let this go. I feel so horrible about it despite being reassured and I figured Tumblr, who has a lot of systems/people with DID/OSDD, would be able to give me an unbiased (as much as I can give an unbiased account, anyway) answer.

I, (24M), am a system with one headmate, P, (??). (Neither of us are sure how old he is, since it seems to change on the day). I don't want to get into exactly how I got him, but I believe the term for what we are is "traumagenic"? Sorry, again, I'm not really familiar with everything.

Anyway, I've had him since I was 8, and he's been... well, a real pain in the ass, to be frank. I understand now that he's a defender by nature and was trying to protect us, but when you get expelled from middle school for several physical attacks and almost get sent to juvie you start to resent the guy a bit. He's a bit like a sleeping bear, except if the sleeping bear had one eye open and killed you before you could hurt him.

Back when I got out of my abuser's house and went no contact at age 20, I moved in with my current partners, Bonfire (24M) and Greenhouse (25NB) (names changed for privacy, obviously.) At the time I didn't know them, but they were looking for another roommate and I desperately needed somewhere to live.

So I moved in with just the clothes on my back and my wallet (bad move, I know, but I didn't have anything anyway). I didn't care to interact with them all that much, not wanting P to get defensive and attack them for no reason, but they just kept pushing and eventually I relented and hung out with them some.

"Some" turned to "often," and then "often" turned into "sleeping-in-their-bed-and-sharing-our-clothes." At that point I was too far into it and embarrassed to admit I'd been hiding a whole other person from them in my mind. I wasn't sure if they'd even like me after, what with P's history of violence.

...so I never told them. I did my best to forget about anything that ever happened and tried to just enjoy the future I'd always wanted for myself. Bonfire and Greenhouse are lovely people and I was finally, maybe just a little happy. I'd never been a happy person and I was content to bask in it for as long as I was able.

This, of course, backfired immensely. P and I didn't have the best relationship at the time, with both of us wanting to do very extreme things to get away from the other. He wanted to kick me out and be by himself in my body, and I wanted to kill myself to be rid of him. We've since reconciled and made strides in accepting ourself for who we are- it hasn't been easy by any means, but that isn't the point.

I recognize now that he was afraid of being hurt again, not wanting to get out of that survival mindset in case Greenhouse and Bonfire turned out to be super-secret mega abusers taking advantage of our trust, but I also know what he did after was wrong.

He got physical with Bonfire, screaming at him and threatening to kill him if he got any closer. I don't have any memory of this happening, so some details may be incorrect, and I apologize for that. Bonfire, not knowing that P was not, in fact, me, (coupled with the fact that he's a fucking idiot (meant with affection)), he got closer and tried to talk me (him) down. P punched him in the face and broke his nose, after which he ran out of the house and left me to "wake up" a few miles away curled up under a tree.

P left me a note a few days later that said he didn't mean to break his (Bonfire's) nose, but that he was lucky he hadn't done worse. This, in P speak, is probably the most sincere apology I could get at the time.

To try and keep this as short as possible, I'll summarize what happened next. I told Bonfire and Greenhouse about P because at that point the cat was basically out of the bag. They said they'd wished I'd told them sooner, and that they were a little uncomfortable being in the same house as "the lean, mean, stabbing machine" (- Bonfire) but that they were willing to help me manage him if I promised to tell them everything I knew about how he worked.

I did, and it's been years since then, and now P and I are, as stated before, closer than ever. I recently asked my partners whether or not they were still upset with me for not telling them, and they just said that they weren't entitled to my medical history and trauma (which, yeah, but he did break Bonfire's nose) and that they didn't care because, "hey, we basically got a free dog out of it" (- Bonfire), and "we made a promise to love you, including all the less-than-savory parts." (- Greenhouse).

Sweet, yes, but I think I might be TA because, um, P LITERALLY BROKE BONFIRE'S NOSE AND THREATENED TO KILL HIM? AND IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED IF I HAD TOLD THEM?

TL;DR: I didn't tell my partners about my headmate that's prone to violence and he did violence on them and I feel bad.

AITA?

(P says hi, by the way, and he also wants me to tell you that he isn't like this anymore and much prefers soft blankets and eating fruit to breaking his family's noses.)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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traumacatholic · 11 months

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Finally kind of feel in a position where I can post this. I realise that my last post and long disappearance was probably of great concern to some people, and I am deeply sorry for any worry or pain that I've caused other people with that long disappearance. There was a lot going on in my life, including moving house. And I think the longer I took a break from Tumblr, the more daunting it came to come back. But the fact of the matter is, I've cried over this blog a lot. Or rather, I've cried over the followers of this blog and the people that have engaged with it. I have been dealing with a great sense of guilt. Guilt that I've let you guys down. Guilt that I've betrayed you in some way.

Something that always pained me, was the reality of my own struggle to access mental health support. It's an unfortunate reality, that no matter how many times we might work to raise awareness, and tackle stigma surrounding mental health (particularly complex mental health issues like OCD or PTSD or Schizophrenia, etc). That this doesn't do much to tackle the core issue that's the main struggle for people: accessible healthcare. Be that to do with any financial costs or lengthy waiting lists or other issues. There was a sense of deep guilt of encouraging people to seek help, whilst also being fully aware that they might be even more disheartened if they reached out for help and were unable to get anything substantial. I would never want to build someone's hopes up in order to then shatter them. I've experienced it all too much with trying to access support on my own.

I also felt really guilty running this blog when I was struggling with Church attendance. It felt like I was lying about my piety, to people that were desperately trying to fight to be able to attend their Church and to be a part of Church life. I'm in a city now, and I've started attending Church regularly. I've been trying to get into the practice of daily prayer, and the daily readings of theological texts alongside Scripture. Some days are better than others, but then I guess that's always going to be the case. Something that was really deeply meaningful to me during RCIA was being told that conversion to the faith wasn't a one and done thing. Each day, we are constantly converting back. We are constantly returning to God and being renewed in our relationship with God, no matter how far we stumble or what kind of problems we stumble into - willing and unwillingly.

And this is where it gets, I guess, the scariest. I've been dealing a lot with anxieties and doubts surrounding my faith. Not in the, "Hey guys sorry I've taken a break and became atheist" kind of way. But I've been feeling a strong pull towards Orthodox Christianity. And the Church I've been attending, has been an Orthodox one. I don't know. It feels weird to type that one out. It felt so weird to call myself Catholic for a long time. And then I became so happy of the title, and I loved the faith. I still do, love Catholicism. But I think this is something I need to explore. I've been feeling the draw to Orthodoxy for a long time, and I always kept pushing it away. But I think the only real way I can really address it, is by actually giving it a fair chance and exploration.

I don't know what I'll do with this blog. I don't intend to delete it - I think there are still people that can find help and comfort from the prayers that I've posted. I do have a new Tumblr, where I post excerpts from Orthodox texts I've been reading. I do still feel really strongly about helping people struggling with mental and physical health issues, trauma survivors etc. I care intensely about that work. And it's why this post pains me so much. I still want to be able to give you guys help, you can always send a message over to my new blog @orthodoxadventure if you're in need of any prayers or advice surrounding mental health/trauma etc (also despite the circumstances, I did go through RCIA, and if anyone has any questions surrounding it, I'll try my best to answer) , and I think I'm going to make it a habit to check the blog here.

I'm deeply sorry to anyone that I've hurt by doing this. I would really appreciate your prayers. None of this is, particularly easy. I feel like I've let down and hurt so many people. But I also knew that the more I tried to resist the interest of Orthodoxy, the more I felt that I was letting myself down and letting my relationship with God down. Maybe in some time, I will return to Catholicism, much more content and happy and more knowledgeable in that choice. Maybe I will go further down the path to the Orthodox Church. But I knew I couldn't just feel like I was sitting on the fence any longer. I hope that you will be able to forgive me for this, and I intend to keep you all in my prayers.

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kindoffruity · 2 years

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Smitten - Chapter Three - Aonung's POV

Mild Warning: Non canon compliant :P

Smitten - Chapter Three - Adore - Aonung's POV

The ride back on Neteyam’s Ikran had been brutal, the pain settled in on his body, there wasn’t a part of him that hadn’t been aching. But Aonung learned fast that the more he reacted to the pain the more Neteyam seemed to be worried.

So Aonung sucked most of it up until they arrived back.

Unfortunately, their parents had been gathered in a line to meet them, Ronal and Tonowari seemed to be a mixture of angry and concerned for their son. “What is this! Why do you look like this? Was this you, demon?” Ronal seemed to accuse Neteyam as she practically yanked her son towards her inspecting him.

“No ma’am..” Neteyam immediately looked down, not wanting to upset Ronal more. He dismissed his Ikran, looking like he was struggling to find the words to describe what had happened.

“Neteyam saved me, please do not disrespect him.” Aonung pulled away from his mother, he looked more insulted than Neteyam had been. “I am fine, I would probably be dead by now if he had not shown up, he deserves respect for that.” Aonung corrected his mother and it was a feat that left many stunned.

“What happened?” Jake asked Neteyam after inspecting his son and not seeing a scratch, ��The altercation earlier.. I followed those boys from the Ta’unui clan, they mentioned they would get their brothers and teach Aonung a lesson for embarrassing them. I tried to go back to warn Aonung but I couldn’t find him. So I got on Etera to search.” Neteyam explained to his parents.

Aonung watched from the corner of his eyes, he hoped that Jake and Neytiri would not find some way to blame Neteyam.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone else before you left? You could have been hurt. I’d expect this recklessness from Lo’ak but not you.” Jake huffed and looked disappointed in Neteyam. Neteyam nodded his head and looked down at the sand before looking back up at his father. “I am sorry sir, it won't happen again.” Neteyam apologized, Aonung wanted to scream. How could they blame Neteyam?

“But I do not regret it.”

Neteyam’s words stunned everyone at this point, even Aonung was taken aback by his words. Despite this, there was a small smile tugging on his bruised lips. It wasn’t like Neteyam had disrespected his parents, but Aonung respected that Neteyam finally said something.

“Excuse me?” Neytiri asked, completely full of disbelief that her oldest son had spoken out of line. Aonung could see the twist of emotions on her face, his mother had mirrored the same emotions earlier. There was anger, hurt, and confusion all brewed into one look.

“I reacted completely appropriately for the situation, had I taken any longer or detoured myself, who knows what could have happened.”

Aonung couldn’t even hold back the smirk, Neteyam had finally spoken, a small chuckle escaped his lips and Tonowari gripped the back of his head and pushed in down to bow towards the Sully’s. “Your son speaks the truth, I apologize for any inconvenience my son may have caused, and I thank you for protecting my son.” Tonowari’s words were enough to put an end to the bickering.

“Yes, thank you, Neteyam.” Aonung looked up, a smile adorning his lips as he took in Neteyam’s appearance. His posture was tense, like he was trying to seem strong but Aonung knew he was probably shaking inside from being anxious. Aonung did catch his eyes for a moment, the second they locked they seemed to share a silent moment.

��They were thanking each other for different reasons.

Aonung was thanking him for saving him and finally speaking up for himself.

- - - -

The next few days were particularly difficult for Aonung, the injuries he had received and the entire talking back situation had his parents keeping him on a short leash, he wasn’t able to sneak out in the evenings and see his Forrest boy.

Aonung was struggling with just looking at Neteyam during dinner, his mother kept him attached to her so there wasn’t much he could do besides exchange longing looks with one-another as they ate.

It wasn’t much but at least seeing Neteyam was enough to make the day bearable until he had been all healed up.

The Ta’unui clan brought forth a series of topics with Aonung’s parents that he truthfully wished to avoid: Mates, Iknimaya and Olo’eyktan.

“Tane, while he may not have handled it correctly, he had the right idea. You will be Olo’eyktan one day, you must get serious about your Iknimaya to become an adult within the clan. You need to search for a strong mate who will continue our way of life.” His father, Tonowari, spoke to him at dinner.

Did this conversation need to be public? Why speak of this at dinner when the Sully’s were at the other side of the room. Aonung tried to look at Neteyam for.. Guidance? No, that wasn’t it. Maybe confirmation? Could he be bold enough to claim Neteyam as his own at their communal dinner?

But Neteyam didn’t look up at him, he hung his head low as if trying to hide himself.

“I will focus on my Iknimaya, but I will allow my mate to choose me.” Aonung knew who he had in mind as a mate, but claiming Neteyam now without properly courting him would make him just as bad as the men who had sought after his sister's hand.

The dinner progressed, it seemed like it was dragging, and then Neteyam excused himself from dinner.

Aonung took that as his opportunity to escape as well, he didn’t know where Neteyam was heading but he could only imagine he would find him at the end of the beach where he went to clear his mind.

“I knew you’d be here..” Aonung called out as he moved to sit next to Neteyam, his tail almost instinctively wrapping around Neteyam, his finned hand resting atop the others. “I have missed you, my mother worries too much when I am injured and puts me on bed rest.” Aonung felt a need to explain why he hadn’t been around, he grabbed the other's slender hand and pressed a gentle kiss to it.

Much to his surprise, Neteyam slowly pulled away his hand.

“Nete..?” Aonung looked confused, had he done something wrong? Was Neteyam upset with him? His mind ran through all the scenes, he couldn’t recall what he had done wrong.

“You will be Olo’eyktan one day.” Neteyam started to speak, a tense silence filled the gap, “This...This cannot happen.” Neteyam referred to their potential relationship, his hands at his side.

“I do not understand you.. Do you not wish to be with me? Did I do something wrong?” Aonung turned his body to face Neteyam entirely, his hands grabbing both of Neteyam’s and squeezing them gently in the middle of his hands.

“No.. You have done nothing wrong. I think it will be best for us to end this now,” Neteyam couldn’t even look at Aonung in the eyes, his hands were shaking and Aonung couldn’t help but feel hurt that Neteyam would even suggest they stop this relationship now.

“You must be someone of your kind, a strong Metkayina, someone who understands the way of water.” Neteyam’s words were rushed, as if he didn’t want to give Aonung the opportunity to speak.

“I want you,” Aonung felt frustrated immediately, was this why Neteyam wanted to end ‘this’. It was a terrible excuse.

“You must be with your own kind- they will never accept me.. Aonung, you will be a great leader one day, you mustn’t waste your time with someone like me.” Neteyam tried to plead with him, but those golden eyes were saying otherwise.

“You are a strong Metkayina. You are one of us now.” Aonung spoke, he knew he had to keep a level-head otherwise his irrational emotions would get the best of him.

“Aonung.. I am Omatikaya, when the war is over I will return home..” Not even Neteyam believed his own words, Aonung knew it, there was hesitation in that voice. Neteyam’s voice was usually confident when he believed in his words.

“You have been ingrained in me, I do not wish for anyone else but you. I will become an Ole’eyktan worthy of you.” Aonung’s eyes were locked on Neteyam’s, he was looking to see if Neteyam had made his decision.

“Please.. As much as I have enjoyed this time together, and you’ve made me happier than I have been in a long time.. Your parents-” Neteyam was fumbling with his words, they were full of hesitation.

“Then look me in the eyes and tell me you do not wish to be with me, I will not accept this otherwise.” Aonung cut off Neteyam’s fumbling words, Neteyam looked up for a moment in shock.

“I.. I do not..” Neteyam could not look him in the eyes, he tried though and immediately those golden orbs spilled the truth. “I want to be with you.. But you need to be with-” Neteyam started again and Aonung huffed in frustration.

“I do not want anyone other than you, I have every intention to court you.” Aonung cupped Neteyam’s face with both hands, forcing him to lock eyes and look nowhere else.

“I adore you.”

Aonung’s words must have struck heavy with Neteyam because he nodded, his braids bouncing around as he did. Aonung could only take it as Neteyam had accepted his words and would dismiss this thought of ending ‘this’.

“Why must they look like they are in some tragic love story everytime we look for them? I swear your brother better not hurt mine. I’ll rip off that fish tail of his.” Lo’ak asked at the other end of the beach, he had been sent to gather his brother for bed.

Similarly, Tsireya had been tasked with the same thing. “Perhaps their relationship is troubled..I wonder if ours will be like that.” Tsireya spoke softly, tilting her head as they walked through the sand slowly just enjoying their time together.

“I would fight Payakan for you,” Lo’ak said seriously and Tsireya couldn’t help but giggle at that. “You would not need to do that, but I do appreciate the thought.” The two locked hands as they decided to give the couple at the other end of the beach some much needed alone time.

#aonung x neteyam #neteyam x aonung #aonunete #aonung #avatar #avatar the way of water #I love this ship #They love each other #more slow burn #lo'ak is a fighter

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falloutjuli · 2 years

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MORE JOHNNY CONTENT. I got mad brainrot so yeah, I can’t stop writing for him. This time I wanted something comforting, so this came to be. Just casually 5k words of Johnny and reader being two depressed fucks that form a cute friendship and then more.

Fall Out Boy title reference because I can. Try to stop me, I’ll wait here.

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Johnny x suicidal!Reader - The Kids aren’t alright.

Wordcount: 5,4K

Short summary: MODERN AU - While you contemplate jumping off a bridge, you meet a peculiar guy who keeps you grounded. Through time, you turn from strangers to friends to more than words can describe.

Warnings: Mention of suicide, depression, self-hatred, all that Jazz. Gyro and you bully Johnny.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

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Your hands gripped the iron railing harder, the metal warm underneath your touch by now. You gaze at the water underneath you, how it taunts you with its flow and the reflecting lights. It looks inviting and yet you can't bring your body to jump over the railing to become one with the water. A sigh escaped your lips as you thought this over.

In theory, everything was set. This wasn't your first time at this bridge after all. The letter was written, all affairs in order and yet, despite the set up, you felt not ready. So, you just kept staring, going through the dark thoughts that brought you here. A tear escaped your eye, and it would remain only one, you lacked the energy to actually cry at this point.

"Contemplating suicide?" A voice asked behind you. Your expression soured and without looking away from the water underneath you answered the person who dared to disturb you.

"If you're gonna ask me to fuck you since I'm gonna ef myself off anyways then do me a favor and jump over the railing yourself." You spat. It wasn't the first time some guy tried to get a pity fuck simply because they assumed you were gonna kill yourself.

"I wasn't gonna ask for such a thing, but even if then I'd need your help to get over the railing." You turned your head you were met by sapphire blue eyes that looked similarly tired to yours. The guy those gorgeous eyes belonged to sat in a wheelchair, so that's probably why he couldn't make the jump himself.

"Sorry." You said dryly, wiping the tear away that had escaped your eye earlier. "Normally the strangers that wanna speak to me here are perverts." "That sucks." He simply shrugged and now the two of you were staring at the water.

"Contemplating suicide?" You asked him the same question as he did to you. "Mhm." Was the simply hummed answer. "Life just sucks huh?" You struck up a conversation, unsure why exactly. Everyone else in your life you were trying to push away, yet him you invited to a conversation.

"Yeah, tell me all about it." A moment of silence passed. "For how long?"

"Pretty much since I was a kid. I have a pretty shit father. And you?" The boy casually mentioned. It was a strange situation, but you felt somewhat comfortable, so you didn’t mind talking to him more. "Teenage years. Then it was better for a while but now all I mainly do is sit in my apartment all day and think about ending it."

"You're copying my life story? How rude for someone who just told me to jump over the railing." The boy joked next to you, and you chuckled. "That's the first time in a while that I was able to laugh at something." You said and let go of the railing. "Glad to help."

You two turned to face each other and take in every detail. The guy was good looking, those eyes were absolutely stunning despite the sorrow they held, golden hair that poked out from under his beanie and framed his face in a beautiful way. A bright blue hoodie with stars for a top and casual sweatpants with vans for bottom.

You wondered if he inspected you so thoroughly too and judging by his eyes wandering over you he might.

"Thank you." You said, unsure if he'd get it but going by the faint smile on his lips he did. "No, thank you." And with that, you each turned to get going home. -------

With heavy steps you made your way to the space you dreaded and loved at the same time.

You had been away for a week. But today it was too much again and so you returned to probably stare at the water again, pussy out and then go home to continue lying in bed. A heavy sigh was let out and you took a deep breath of the cold night air. Just as you were almost at your usual spot you saw the guy from a week ago.

He was next to the bench in his wheelchair, staring out at the city. You contemplated turning around, not wanting to bother him or anything, but your sluggish steps dragged you to the bench in the end to plop down next to him. "Hey." "Hey." You two greeted each other as if you were friends. In reality, you didn't even know each other's names.

"Rough week?" He asked and turned to look at you. "Doesn't even begin to describe it. Judging you're here yours was shit too?" He nodded. A moment of silence passed.

"I don't know whether or not to be glad to have met you again. Because while I like talking to you... Meeting here, at this place at this time of night..." You knew what he was implying.

"Meeting here is bad, because it means we are here to do something else originally." He hummed in approval. "What's your name?" You finally asked him. "Johnny."

"Y/N." You answered before he needed to ask. Now you sat there in silence. "Do you have therapy?" You eventually asked him. "Yeah. I have to otherwise I'm sure my friend would kill me. "Sounds adorable."

"He's a good friend, but I feel like he doesn't really know what's going on in me." "I know what you mean." You mumbled and thought about your friends who had claimed to be there for you only to immediately turn once you weren't happy go lucky. You two fell in silence again. A comfortable one. -----

Weeks passed. Sometimes you were alone at the bridge. Sometimes by coincidence, Johnny was there too. You had learned quite a lot about each other by now. Johnny is a university student. Before that he was a jockey and a good one at that.

But an incident which he didn’t want to elaborate on, left him paralyzed from the waist down, which ended his career prematurely. He comes from money but has cut ties with his family and now lives with his best friend, an Italian medical student.

You also told him about yourself, your home life, which also wasn't the best, how you were now living alone in a tiny apartment to try to fix your life but that didn't work out so now you continuously came to this bridge to end it all. Johnny did it because he struggled massively with his depression and self-hatred. Meeting him had already become the best thing in your life because talking to him grounded you, made you feel valuable. Like you mattered to someone. Today when you came to your usual spot it was empty. Nothing surprising, Johnny and you never agreed on times to meet, it was by coincidence. Yet when you reached the bench, you normally sat on next him there was a paper taped to it. "-⭐ 559-xxx-xxxx "

The star. Johnny wore stars on his clothing and beanie regularly and his last name was Joestar so potentially... He left the note here earlier for you to have his number? Nervously you got your phone out and typed the number in to shoot him a message. "You're lucky I found it." Not too long after a message came in. "Y/N?" "No, the pervert who found your message. Yes of course it's me." "Thank God. I was nervous once I got home you might not come today, and the note would get destroyed." "You're a lucky one." You typed and decided to walk back home already. "I know I am. How are you?" ------

The next time you met Johnny was on his home turf.

You had texted with him a good chunk before, and he invited you over to his place. To say you were curious and nervous was an understatement. You'd meet Gyro, the Italian Johnny lived with, see his apartment, and room and deepen the strange friendship you two had.

It was a weird feeling, since you had previously only meet on a bridge both of you wanted to jump off to end your life. You pressed the doorbell nervously and waited a few seconds before a tall, blond man opened the door. He had long beautiful hair and shining green eyes with a flashy smile thanks to the gold grills.

"Gyro I assume." You said, somewhat intimidated, unsure how to carry yourself. You offered your hand and Gyro pulled you into, giving you a friendly hug, making you almost trip over in the process.

"So, you're the bridge friend! It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you, Johnny talks a lot about you!" Gyro proclaimed and your blood ran cold. Did Gyro know? "Johnny is over in his room, second door to the left. I'm busy cooking for us tonight, so I'll catch you in a bit yeah?"

Gyro had something about him that made you feel comfortable despite everything. His energy and smile were a little infectious and you could easily tell why Johnny liked him. "Thank you. Good luck with the cooking." "I don't need luck, it's in my blood." He grinned, before disappearing in the kitchen. You grabbed your backpacks strap a little tighter before you went to Johnny's room, knocking before you entered.

You didn't know what you thought his room would look like, but it certainly wasn't like this. White Ikea furniture, a big desk with his wheelchair in front of it. On it a high-tech computer. Big wardrobe, opposite to it and to the right, right next to the door was his bed with Johnny on it.

"Glad you could make it." He said, a smile on his lips. "And miss out on seeing your room and getting to know the funny man that just pulled me inside? Wouldn't miss it for the world."

On the wall next to Johnny’s bed were several framed pictures which you quickly inspected. Many were of his horse, Slow Dancer, some were with Gyro and Johnny on horses, riding, or doing some fun stuff together.

"Describing Gyro as Funny feels like a hate crime." Johnny said dryly. "Aw, I like him. He seems fun." You saw a glint of jealousy flash over his face. "No worries, I like you even more." You sat down, next to Johnny on his bed and looked away.

"Did you tell him why we met? He called me bridge friend."

"No, no, don't worry. He thinks I just go there to relax and get out. If he knew what I originally went there for, he wouldn't let me leave the apartment without him."

"Okay, good. I was afraid for a second."

"Don’t be, I'd never tell him anything you told me that you'd probably don't want him to know. All he knows is pretty much that I met you while out and kept meeting you there. He also gave the idea with the note."

That was very nice of him. Being immediately branded as "mentally ill", "unstable" or anything was one of your worst nightmares. Before you could say much, Gyro popped his head in. "Dinner is almost ready!" He proclaimed before leaving again.

"Come on. Let's go." Johnny just said and went to get the crutches near the bed end that you hadn’t noticed until now. You quickly went to grab them for him as you were closer. "Didn't know you could partially walk."

"I don’t like bragging with dat Physical therapy. I'm also not very good at it, still relying on my chair a huge chunk of the time." "That's still progress though." Johnny tried his hardest to suppress the smile on his face. You just went for the door, opening it for him.

"After you M'Lady." Johnny rolled his eyes and went ahead so you could follow him to the living room where Gyro had set up the tiny dinner table. You took a seat next to the window with Johnny next to you. Next to him and the window too would Gyro then sit, who now came in, cursing in Italian, probably because the stealing bowl in his hands was burning them.

"Cazzo." He said as he put it down and you curiously eyed the dark green bowl. Spaghetti. You had to smile. "Well then, I hope it tastes as good as it is hot." Gyro mumbled, taking his seat opposite to you. The first few minutes you simply sat in silence since you were still a little nervous and didn't know what to do.

"So, your name's Y/N?" Gyro asked with a smile, flashing his grills again. You nodded, forcing an awkward smile. Johnny eyed you, noticed your discomfort and sneakily slid his free hand under the table to take yours. A kind smile adorned his lips, he was trying to make you comfortable, and he easily succeeded at that. Not that you’d let him know that he had too much of an ego already.

"What a pretty name!" Gyro said resting his head now on his hands. "Thank you. Gyro is pretty and quite unique too. You're from Italy Johnny mentioned?" "Naples to be exact. So, you and Johnny are friends?" Before you could answer said blond chimed in.

"Yeah, but I might need to reconsider because they called you funny." Gyro happily clasped his hands together, his smile growing wider. "Oh Johnny, we both know you’re laughing at my jokes too. You just don’t wanna admit it!"

The evening was one of the nicest you had in a long while. Gyro and Johnny were incredibly comfortable to be around and got you out of the hardened shell you had developed.

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You unlocked the door with the spare key Gyro and Johnny gave you a while ago. Your backpack was uncomfortably warm by now, so you were happy when you dropped it off once in Johnny's room.

Can you come over, spare some time? It's a bad day.

Johnny had sent that to you, and you made sure to not lose time before dropping by.

"Hey." Johnny mumbled. He was entangled in his bedsheets, his head messy, and expression tired. "Hey." You answered and began opening your backpack, a familiar smell immediately invaded Johnny's nostrils. You placed the red box carefully next to him, waiting for his reaction.

"Did you seriously stop by a McDonald's on the way here to bring me a fucking happy meal of all things?" Ah good, his snarky side was still intact.

"Yeah. Thought you might like the toy and you apparently need a Happy meal today." Johnny chuckled, falling onto his back and hiding his face with his arm. "You're crazy."

"That's why you like me."

"Did you bring Gyro something too? He'll be pissed if he gets back and sees he didn't get anything." You laughed and went back to your backpack, grabbing another happy meal.

"Of course. Lemme bring it to his room, be back soon." You said and left for Gyros room. You opened the door and placed it on Gyros messy desk that was cluttered with medical books and papers. You pushed it a little aside to not place the meal on anything important and then marched back to your blond friend who needed you today.

"Did you get it for the “My Little Pony” toys?" He asked as he spun around the plastic horse in his fingers. "Yeah. Got you Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie for Gyro."

"You're ridiculous. Just because we both ride?" You nodded proudly and went to grab your single burger. "Eat, you need it." You reminded him as he begrudgingly shoved some fries in his mouth .

You both sat against his headboard with Johnny soon resting his head on your shoulder as he chewed on a cheeseburger. "What has you down today?" You finally asked, curious why he had asked you to come over.

"Today is my accidents anniversary." You furrowed your brows. "You shouldn't keep track of that." "I'm not. The date’s just engraved in my brain. Whenever I wake up on this date, I'm immediately reminded of it."

Oh Johnny, you thought and went to grab his hand. It was nicely warm, and you intertwined your fingers with his. "Then how about we make it a habit of doing something fun that day. Get your mind off it?"

With a hesitant and lazy nod Johnny agreed and you pulled out your phone to save it in your calendar. You checked the "Yearly reminder" option and went to type in the name of the appointment. "Johnny Day" you named it and heard a chuckle from you shoulder.

"A whole day dedicated to me?" Now you nodded and smiled as you went back to your Home screen which was a picture of you Johnny and Gyro together, just doing funny faces. You tossed it aside, as it wasn't important as the blond next to you. Seeing as Johnny was done with his food, you put it away, and then gestured for him to properly lay down.

As he did as asked, you did the same, resting you head on his shoulder, one of your arms draped around his waist. Johnny's arms also found your frame, pulling you close to him. "You know..." You began as your hand lazily drew circles in his side. "I had a horrible day too. But being here with you now... It made it an okay day." Johnny smiled lazily. "Knowing I made your day better makes mine better."

You two remained like that. Just holding onto the other and enjoying the warmth and comfort that was provided.

"I'm home!" Gyro called out into the dark apartment feeling bad for not being able to be there for Johnny today. He knew very well what day it was and when Johnny didn't even really speak to him early that morning, he just knew what was going on. But he unfortunately had important classes today that he absolutely couldn't skip no matter how bad he wanted to.

Once in his own room, Gyro was confused by the happy meal box placed on his desk. He giddily looked inside finding a pony toy and some food that has been cold for a while now. Gyro immediately had a suspicious who might have deployed that there.

With whispered nyo-ho-ho’s he tiptoed to Johnny's room, carefully opening it, only to completely forget his mischievous plans as he saw Y/N and Johnny cuddling together on the bed, soundly asleep. A dreamy smile painted his expression as he just couldn't believe how adorable they were.

As silently as he could he closed the door again, going back to his room to see if he could heat up his nuggets again. He made a mental note to thank Y/N for their kindness tomorrow.

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You let your head crash against Johnny headboard. Your phone bored you, so you tossed it aside and listened to the mechanical keyboard sounds Johnny made while typing.

You contemplated just dipping, going home to live your depressive episode in your own four walls without having to worry about Johnny and Gyro. It has been a shit week kind of.

Nothing went right, pure stress from all sides, stuff that would have anyone down, but you just felt particularly exhausted and drained. Even coming over felt like a chore today and it wasn’t much better than Johnny was a busy bee, typing away code and text without much of a pause.

You looked over to the blond who downed his third coffee of the day and read something on his screen. Maybe you bothered him? Was he secretly hoping you'd finally leave? Probably not, you knew him well, but intrusive thoughts are intrusive and often illogical, so you were stuck with that. But knowing you'd probably rip him out of his flow you decided to just remain on his bed, not making the effort to leave.

From the other side of the wall, you could hear Gyro cursing in Italian, he probably got something in his online questionnaire wrong. Somehow that was soothing. The silence with the keyboard sounds and occasionally sounds of a strange Italian man made you feel at ease, so it was better to remain here and not sit in silence in a dark lonely apartment.

You shifted and went to rest your head on Johnny's blue pillow that smelled just like him. It involuntarily made you smile a little. You simply closed your eyes trying to get some rest and recharge energy by simply trying to relax. And it worked wonders. Your head felt empty and light, letting you just lay there, taking in the sound of Johnny typing away.

Until the typing stopped. You looked over, wondering why the typing had stopped only to see Johnny looking at you worryingly. To your further surprise, he got up from his wheelchair, which he prefers to use for his desk, and made the few steps over to the bed, using the desk for support before dropping on the bed.

Once on it he crawled up to you, carefully pressing your back against his chest. "What's with you, you have been so silent all week." He said and you felt bad for making him worry and stop in his work. "Just a shit time. You know how it is." You heard him exhale through his nose, signaling his approval.

"No need to worry. You gotta work on your assignment." You tried to remind him, not wanting to keep him from more important tasks and to be frank, you felt like the very least important thing all around. But Johnny's grip around you only tightened.

"Not happening. I'm staying right here with ya. You have been there for me so much recently, the last I can do is be here with you. Also, I have been coming along so well today, I can easily take a break." Absentmindedly you nodded and took hold of his hand. "It's important though Johnny."

"Right now, you're the most important thing for me. Let me be there, okay Darlin’?" Arguing with the Kentuckian was pointless you knew as much. He was a stubborn asshole, and therefore if he decided to lay with you on the bed, nothing could change his mind.

"What has you feeling down?" He asked you just shrugged, carefully to not accidentally hurt him by doing so. Death by a shoulder into his face was certainly not cool. "I dunno. I guess everything? This week has just been me making a fool of myself everywhere. From me missing appointments, forgetting my stuff and lots of added stress on top of all that... It's just a lot currently. Lots of people tell me I’m bothering them."

You turned to lay on your back, Johnny remained on his side, studying you face. You just looked up at the ceiling, as you continued. “I’m not bothering you or Gyro too, am I?”

Johnny quickly rebutted, “Never. I’d rather you are here and give me an excuse for a break than you sitting alone in that apartment of yours, hear me?”

You nodded, feeling the breaking point coming as tears build up in your eyes. Crying in front of Johnny wasn’t embarrassing at least, he too had cried in your arms before. It was no big deal.

“Stay the night yeah? M’sure Gyro won’t mind cooking for one person more. Right?” The last part he screamed, loud enough to summon the Italian from the next room.

“What was that?” Gyro asked once he too was in the room. You crying, while cuddling with Johnny wasn’t even odd to him anymore. He had walked in on you two doing weirder things, like getting drunk together and quoting old memes.

“I said you wouldn’t mind cooking for one more person when Y/N stays the night.” “Of course not. You’re always welcome here!” Gyro proclaimed and you thanked him for it before you noticed something.

“Every time I’m here Gyro cooks. I’m starting to get the feeling Johnny doesn’t cook at all, because he can’t each the top shelves.” Gyro began crackling like crazy and Johnny immediately deadpanned. “I-It’s because he can’t look into the pots o-on the stove!” Gyro managed to press out between his laughs and you laughed like crazy too.

“I hate you two so much.” Johnny mumbled and let go of you to sit up. “Making fun of my height when I’m in a wheelchair. That’s offensive I’ll have you know!” “Gyro is also taller when you’re standing though.” You argued and earned a flick to the head from the blond man.

Gyro finally managed to get a grip and made his way to the kitchen, still laughing. “How mean of you, I offer you to spend the night, in my bed of all things and you make fun of me!” Johnny complained and you went to hug him.

“Im sowwy Jownny.” He was cute when he was pouting. “At least you’re laughing, so I accept you making jokes at my expense. For now.” You smiled and kissed his cheek. “There ain’t much to make fun of though. I’m better when I make fun of Gyro.” Johnny raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah. Come on get in your chair, lets bully him back while he cooks.” Johnny did as asked and let you roll him into the kitchen. Normally he didn’t like someone rolling him around. You though?

You were allowed pretty much anything when it came to him. Even making fun of him.

-------

You huffed and puffed as you moved the boxes.

"Il mio Dio, Y/N." Gyro mumbled as he went to grab one away from you. "What's in there?" He asked as he watched the poorly scribbled note. "My anime figures." He looked at you with a deadpan expression that you were only used to from Johnny.

"Ah come on, you already moved in last week. Don't judge me." You complained and grabbed the last two boxes of your own. "Yeah and thanks to us, you won't even need to care about setting up the furniture, we already did that." You bickered with Gyro a little more until you two finally set the boxes inside your new room.

A while ago Johnny and Gyro had asked you if you wanted to move in with them, in a bigger apartment of course, as it became a totally normal thing to spend a huge chunk of time there already. You happily said yes, excited to not sour in your old apartment anymore but instead to live with your two closest friends.

Johnny was busy unpacking some of your stuff already while you and Gyro went to get the last boxes from your old apartment with his pickup truck. Once in your new room, you felt content with how Johnny was decorating things already.

"I'll hang up the pictures though, we don't want them at waist height." You joked and earned an elbow to the ribs from him. "Come on you can't even complain at my work so far."

You really couldn't. He had set up your plastic plants nicely, made your bed already, however he managed that, Gyro and you must have taken a while, and put the bedside lamp on the table. "No no, you're doing fine. Can't wait to unpack everything and get settled in."

"Can't wait to finally rest in someone else's bed." Johnny joked. In the time you have known one another Johnny has never been in your old apartment. It was simply a good bit away, wheelchair unfriendly, and super cramped.

Even Gyro said so and he was in the already empty rooms.

And it was a regular thing that you and Johnny shared a bed. Gyro considered you two a couple already, besides not officially being one or anything. The blond Italian simply enjoyed watching you two dance around one another, feelings clearly blossomed in both of you.

"Who said you're allowed in my bed, Johnny?"

"I did and I know i am."

"That attitude of yours will be your death someday."

Silence lingered as you two kept unpacking and sorting. You let Johnny keep on decorating your boards and table, while you were busy stuffing your clothes into your new wardrobe.

While you were busy trying to get your hoodies into the tiny space, Johnny found something in your box that peaked his interest. A tiny book decorated with Stars and a horse, probably drawn by you.

Johnny checked over his shoulder, you were still busy and cursing, trying to fit stuff in so he decided to have a look. At the first page his note with his number was taped in.

He flipped ahead to check what else was here. Receipts from when you guys went out , movie tickets, pictures of you, Johnny and Gyro. You had collected memories in here, he concluded and flipped towards the end. There was a picture of him and you on Slow Dancer that Gyro had taken. Underneath it read "Keep going. For this." Around it you had doodled pretty stars.

Johnny had been so amazed by this that he didn't notice your looming presence over him. "Weren't you taught not to snoop." You spoke, making Johnny almost jump out of his chair.

"Sorry, sorry, i was just intrigued." "Dummy." You mumbled and flicked his head, taking the book away into your bedside table drawer it wandered. "It's cute." He spoke. "Thanks. My therapist advised me to try to visualize what keeps me motivated and Honestly ever since I met you, it's been wanting to make more experiences and memories with you." You confessed casually. "Same here." Johnny said with a faint shade of red on his cheeks.

The buzzing of the apartment door had you both snap out of the situation, and you knew what it meant.

"Pizza is here!" Gyro proclaimed, setting the boxes down on the couch table. Johnny was already going through Netflix's catalog to pick something to mindlessly watch.

Once decided, you three sat there, watching some parody movie. Gyro was seated next to Johnny, and you sat on the floor in front of the paraplegic. Dinner was silent, except for Gyros occasional bad jokes as he found the movie not entertaining enough.

His two friend were soon sick of his antics though, so when Gyro offhand mentioned he still had to go and study some more, the other two silently thanked god for it.

At first you were alone in your new room, just stretched out on the bed, enjoying the way Johnny had set up things so far, but you knew you'd make it even more homely in the next few weeks. This too would soon come into the book.

A knock on the door soon interrupted your train of thoughts and you moved to look who entered. It was Johnny to no one's surprise and he casually came over, having taken his crutches from his room.

"You're getting better at it." "Stop lying." You chuckled. Johnny hated being complimented on his walking progress.

He described it was "patronizing. No one compliments you when you're normally walking either so why now?" You knew it was mainly Johnny's self-hatred that made it hard for him to accept compliments, so you made sure to give him enough to get used to them.

Johnny sat down on your bed, the mattress shifting a little as he did and put away his crutches before he scooted over closer to you, embracing your figure in his arms. "Are you happy?" "Now I am." You answered, a chuckle escaped Johnny's body, as he held you closer.

"I was mainly talking about your room and the apartment but alrighty." You inhaled Johnny scent as you were pressed against his chest, your head resting in the crook of his neck. He felt like home. He and Gyro did. The two had taken prime slots in your heart and you were always in better mood with them around, even on your worst days.

"Johnny?" "Mhm." He mumbled, obviously just as tired as you. "I love you." "Me you too darlin'." He squished you a little and you gave his neck a kiss in return.

It was nothing but a casual confession. Just words to properly express and define your feelings towards him now. The lines between "Friend" and "Lover" had long been blurred already. You two didn't need labels.

You were simply Y/N and Johnny, who found deep appreciation for one another when you met on a bridge you wanted to jump off.

#jjba johnny x reader #johnny joestar x reader #johnny x reader #jjba x reader #jjba johnny #jjba gyro #mhmm yes comfort #johnny lovers unite

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elliebyrrdwrites · 1 month

Text

Distantly, there’s a muffled voice. It’s like I’m stuff under water, stuck at the bottom of the seat and up above, there’s somebody shouting down at me. I can’t make out what they’re saying. I just know they’re trying to talk to me but I can’t make myself swim and break the surface.

My limbs are too heavy, like they’re full of lead. Vaguely, I’m aware of my cheek being slapped. There is no pain, I feel nothing. I’m not even fully inside of my body. The slaps increase, they grow firmer. Finally, I feel the sting of a palm cracking across my face. It’s hard enough to jolt my mind back into my body.

But I can’t open my eyes, they’re glued together and all of that gravel from last night is stuck inside of my throat, filling up my cheeks.

“Do you think you’re funny?” My father voice is loud, my head pulses with pain with each word he speaks.

My eyelids squeeze tighter together.

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” His heel is digging into my thigh as he pushes and kicks at me, nudging me out of bed.

When I finally open my eyes, it feels like there’s sand and glue mixed together, fighting to keep them closed. Fuck me. I’ve always assumed, at some point, I’ve died.

But this is actual death. It feels like all of the blood has been drained from my body and filled with lead. It feels like my head is cracking open, exposing my skull, leaving it vulnerable for abuse.

Which is exactly what’s happening as my father’s hand smacks me over the top of the head. “How long have you been hiding this?”

I dodge his hand and pull myself out of bed, securely on the other side, away from him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I can barely get the words out, my head hurts so bad. I have to whisper just to not worsen the headache.

“You have made a fool out of yourself. You made a fool out of everyone!”

It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Your fiance has locked herself in her room, refusing to come out. She’s humiliated. Her father,” Guy, her father’s name is Guy Greengrass. What kind of a name is Guy? It’s like his parents ran out of ideas. If you say it enough times, it feels like you’re trying to clear a glob of peanut butter off the roof of your mouth.

Despite the pain of my head cracking open and my stomach rolling like I’m stuck on a boat in torrent seas, I can’t help but laugh. I can’t help the giggles that bubble their way up my throat because I just can’t figure out why he’s so upset. But, it’s quite lovely.

“You sneaky little cunt!”

My eyebrows push up into my forehead, and I have to flinch to ignore the pain. “Ooh!” I run a hand over my mouth. It’s starting to water. I think I’m going to throw up. “Such pretty language for such an old man.”

“You’ve been hiding her all this time, haven’t you?”

My laughter dies. Is he talking about Granger? All this time, I thought he was the one hiding her from me. The point is, he’s realized I’ve been lying to him. And now I know he hasn’t been able to find her, either. What a clever little witch.

“It doesn’t matter,” he hisses. “You’ve made it impossible to cover up.”

My stomach heaves, and my cheeks puff up. I close my eyes and wait for the wave of nausea to pass. When it does, I kept them closed. I’m afraid the world will spin if I open them. “Would you please just tell me what the fuck you are talking about?”

“You’re drunk.” He sniffs the air. “No wonder it stinks in here. It’s disgusting. You’re disgusting. Getting drunk and declaring your love for a filthy mudblood on the eve of your wedding. Were you trying to commit suicide?”

“Actually,” I crack an eye open. “I was drunk yesterday.” He’s holding the Prophet in his hand. It’s rolled up tight, like he’s about to beat me like a dog. “So, that would mean that I am hungover.”

The point is, my father’s jaw is so rigid, he’s probably cracking his molars. His grey eyes are murderous. “Malfoy’s don’t drink.”

“Well, I do. Seeing as I’m about to commit suicide of the soul by walking down that aisle, I figure last night was as good a time as any to start. Now,” I lift my chin, gesturing to the paper on his hand. “If you’re through with all this foreplay, would you mind handing that over, so I can figure out what the hell it is you’re talking about.”

Father sniffs. He lifts his chin and narrows his eyes on me before tossing the Prophet onto the bed, unrolling to expose the front page. The photo replays over and over, on the loop all magical photos do. And in this photo, there’s the store front of Flourish and Blotts. There’s flowers lining the front of the store. Hundreds of pink roses.

There’s me and a bucket of paint. Im holding this bucket of paint and my wand and on the shop windows, there’s words painted there. Like red blood, the paint drips from each letter.

The words blink like a flashing, and changing each time.

The photo plays on a loop and from start to finish, a smirk grows on my face as I stare at the windows. As I stare at the words, my eyes seem to glow like the moon.

Well, I have gone and done it now. I’ve vandalized the beloved book shop of Diagon Alley, and I can’t remember a lick of it, but I have to believe it. Because I look down at my body and there’s red paint smudged down the front of my shirt.

I laugh because now I know Guy Greengrass is going to kill me. My father is going to kill me.

That is, if Granger doesn’t kill me first.

Because the words flash from one phrase to the next;

From, granger, i love you

i fucked up

Little fucking Jonas Dart.

#dramione #fanfic #dramione fanfic #draco malfoy #draco x hermione #dramione fanfiction #hermione x draco #hermione granger #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy first person pov #draco/hermione

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darlingdawnauryn · 2 months

Text

My Most Memorable Spirit Encounter

I said in my pinned post that I haven't officially started studying death/spirit work, but that's not entirely true. Between watching Poltergeist for the first time, buzzing with anticipation on the way home from school because I knew A Haunting would be there waiting for me, and the general paranormal-leaning landscape of early/mid-aughts subculture (I plan to make a post about the latter), I was pretty obsessed with ghosts and spirits as a preteen and ready to dive in in whatever way I could -- and there weren't a lot of ways, since my mom forbade me from using Ouija boards, conducting seances, etc. But that doesn't mean I wasn't capable of doing something.

To start, I was a pretty emo, anxiety-ridden adolescent who'd already had a few near-death experiences under my belt. Though I'd in no way call myself a medium, I believe this thinned the veil for me, giving me the chance to come across things from the Other Side that my able-bodied peers wouldn't have happened upon so easily. Couple that with the layout of my bedroom, which had a walk-in closet and a glass door leading to a fenced-in sideyard that let in the cold during winter, not to mention the huge mirror connected to my vanity dresser, and it's a wonder my fucking around didn't lead to a finding out period where I accidentally opened a portal to hell.

My room was at the end of a sizeable hallway off the dining room; I don't know if it actually gave me the amount of privacy I remembered, but despite both my parents using the glass door to go out and smoke, I could basically lock myself in and remain undisturbed for hours at a time. This gave me the opportunity to try and contact whatever the fuck was in my room -- because despite being undisturbed, I never felt truly alone. I was always aware of a heavy presence, throughout the whole house but seeming to be concentrated in the place where I slept. Again, I blame the three doorways and giant mirror. At this point I'd tried everything I could, including a homemade pendulum and a lowkey, makeshift seance with my sister (which turned out to be a bust because she didn't take it seriously and turned it into a game). So one evening, when the atmosphere felt particularly weighted, I just decided to start talking.

"I know there's something in here. Can you make yourself known to me, please?"

Nothing. No creaks, groans, taps. It's also worth noting that I didn't know homemade boards were an option; for whatever reason, a pendulum that was just a necklace that belonged to my great-grandmother was common sense. But a homemade, hand-drawn Ouija board slipped my mind. (It also felt a little bogus, honestly. I wanted the real deal.)

"Please make yourself known to me. I just wanna talk."

I also had a tall dresser that wasn't a combination vanity, and since this was around 2007 I had a five-disc CD player with a speaker on either side. Nestled between the player and one of the speakers was my MP3 player, which I always took out of my backpack after school because my dad hooked me up with an aux chord and I thought it was the coolest thing. I always kept it plugged in, and when I wasn't using it, it was pushed into that impromptu cubby. This was at least six inches back from the edge of the dresser, meaning it was in no danger of falling off the thing.

It took a few more minutes of prodding on my part, but all of a sudden the MP3 player flew from the dresser. It didn't just fall -- it was launched from its hiding place with enough force to make the aux chord grow taut, creating some resistance that probably stopped it from crashing into the opposite wall and breaking. But it did end up landing on the floor.

Like I said, I didn't have a Ouija board and at the time I didn't know pendulum boards existed. I had no way of knowing if I'd contacted a ghost, a house spirit, something else, or if my hormone-addled brain concentrated energy in an already off-putting room and made something cool happen. The good news is, that's all it was. It never veered into dangerous territory and we moved out of state shortly after anyway. Still, I would've liked to know what I'd been talking to.

Since getting into witchcraft a little over a year ago, I've felt it almost necessary to find a mentor before actively practicing spirit work; obviously this is serious shit that takes a lot of energy, and I don't wanna irreversibly mess anything up, especially since I still live with people who aren't keen on spirit communication. But reliving this memory by typing it out has made me reconsider, at least a little: if nothing bad happened back then, when I didn't know nearly as much as I do now and had no protections in place, maybe I already have a better grip on this than I thought.

Feel free to share your own experiences/opinions in the replies!

#witchcraft #witchblr #magick #occult #paranormal #ghost stories #spirits #haunted house

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olivyh · 2 years

Note

Ok if it isn't a bother but firstly:

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE TWST TRUE VILLAIN FANFIC YOU'VE MADE.IT WAS SO ANGSTY I CAN CONTROL MYSELF FROM SHITTING TEARS LIKE IM STILL CRYING RIGHT NOW.Like you really made me think what would happen if disney made the game gore and not family friendly.It would be a horror game bro

Secondly, could you like probably make like the Yuu from Twst true villain teleported to the family friendly twst like i wanna see there reaction if Yuu tells them everything that had happened in their au😍😍😍

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!! And it's not a bother at all! Sorry for the late response- I've had a bit of burnout lately ;;;;;;; I was lowkey hoping that the game kept some of the darker elements of the disney stories, but I can definitely see why they went with a more family-friendly route!

Spoilers for TTV! Below! Also brief spoilers for episode 6

TW: Blood, violence, cannibalism

I honestly believe that a lot of the characters would feel horrible for what happened to TTV!Yuu! They would likely walk on eggshells around the student, and they would be more wary about setting them off. With a lot of characters, I can see TTV!Yuu avoiding them completely (like all the dorm leaders). I can also see a lot of these characters feeling partly responsible for what happened to TTV!Yuu since, while it wasn't them, it was technically a version of them; and TTV!Yuu would have a hard time separating the two

Now, if TTV!Yuu follows the main story with the overblots... I don't think the dorm leaders would be able to regain their trust if they could get close enough to the student to begin with!

Riddle would understand and wouldn't take it to heart, but I think he would feel a little disappointed. I also think that it would bring up some doubts about him and being scary like his mother :(. He wouldn't push the issue, but I think it would be necessary for TTV!Yuu and him to have a little talk (for both of their sake). They would warm up a little bit more to Trey and Cater, I think (they would struggle to eat Trey's pastries the first couple of times for obvious reasons...). Despite this newfound trust, Ace and Deuce find themselves staying over Ramshackle every night for "study sessions" that end in Yuu pleading for them to not go back to Heartslabyul, followed by apologies to the both of them for breaking their promise.

They would stay as far from Leona and Azul as possible, seeing that the two of them tried to use TTV!Yuu for their schemes and it's likely that they won't very easily try to regain their trust. Leona may be alright with it and try to stay out of their way... but it's when Yuu tries to actively keep Ruggie away from the lion that he feels he should step in (and, though the hyena is grateful for their concern, he is a little annoyed that they're standing between him and his paycheck). They would try to beg Jack to stay in Ramshackle with them and stay far from his dorm, believing that he would die if he stayed in Savanaclaw any longer. He had to decline, but he hated that heartbroken look on their face and settled for sleeping over every other night.

Azul would try a little harder to gain their trust. Though, with his personality and persona, he may come off as being fake to them and end up pushing them away a little more :( I feel like the same could go for the Tweels (it could be even worse for those two as well, since even the normal cast is a little wary of those two).

Kalim would be able to warm up to them, though they would be a little wary around him (as they believe that, like Azul, it's a front that he would be putting up). Kalim would be the first dorm leader they get close to, I think, because of his emotional intelligence and how he would use it to calm them down! Jamil would be in a similar situation, though, I don't believe that they would be as scared of him as Kalim (as Jamil in TTV never really killed anyone, he was simply doing what Kalim told him).

They would be unable to stay around Vil and, despite his best efforts, they would beg for him to stay away from Epel (which scared the farmer because of how roughly they pulled him away from his dormmates.) Rook would petrify them to their core, and I think he would have to work twice as hard to gain their trust (especially after watching his arrow fly into a tree and being reminded of what happened to Jack). Epel also becomes an honorary member of Ramshackle.

Along with Kalim, I believe that Idia would be the next person they would get close to, shockingly! I can't imagine that someone who went through what they went through would continue to be very outgoing, and I think they would go to Ignihyde to give a teary apology to Idia for what happened to other Ortho. Of course, he would interpret this as his world's other Ortho, which would turn into a lot of tears and even more confusion for both parties. And, of course, this Ortho gets countless apologies from Yuu. Unlike the other first years, he gets to stay in his dorm without much of a fight since Yuu knows he would be safest in Ignihyde.

They wouldn't want to step foot inside of Diasomnia; the only reason for visiting the dorm being to grab Silver and attempt to house him in the safety of Ramshackle. Malleus, unfortunately, would get the shortest end of the stick :( Yuu wouldn't even dare to try to talk to him or Lilia after knowing what they're capable of (and being made aware that their magical capabilities in this world are the same). Sebek would also be a no-go, solely because his yelling would send Yuu into a frenzy. I think Lilia would be able to coax them into trusting the Diasomnia crew a little more (though they would still turn to Silver for protection).

As for professors, Yuu didn't have any contact with them outside of Crowley (with their only knowledge of the others being rumors and things they were told.) Because of that, the other professors get a free pass! I can see their classrooms being safe spaces for TTV!Yuu when they feel that it gets to be too much, or if they simply need someone to talk to. They're also constantly protected by the professors- whether that be always being followed by Sam's friends on the other side, being given a puppy from Crewel to keep them from harm, having Mozus guard them while they nap under Trein's desk, sitting with Vargas while he tries to teach them breathing techniques for when they get too scared, or having crows in the trees around them to keep an eye on them

As for Grim... they would feel immense pity for him and they'd coddle him. Though, they can't help but give him his own room in Ramshackle and sleep with their door locked from the inside to make sure what happened to the previous prefect doesn't happen to them too...

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst true villains #twisted wonderland true villains #twst au #twisted wonderland au #twst horror

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jaynnie-jane · 1 year

Text

What a fucking mess. I still don't know where solid ground is. Some part of me feels more comfortable with this free fall.

I guess I had been carrying the blame with me for the past 9 months. I had been holding onto this little bundle of "not good enough".

It's an easy thing for me to believe too, it took me s LOT of self work to not hate myself for not working full time. So when the ultimatum was made, at a time when through no fault of either of ours my brain twisted in and started to die... of course I decided you must be right and that I was not good enough for you.

I know it's more complex than 15k, for both of us. It always is.

The thing is, I was already working on it. Self work looks different for everyone. I know that for me though the drive for that work has to be intrinsic. When I grabbed that little ball of not good enough, made it my own by empathising and truly understanding where you were coming from I then had one more thing to untangle, one more thing to work through when I was already full up on pychological rot.

I have spent the last 7 months trying to work out where that bundle could fit, knowing every step of the way that it didn't. And it was a wriggly little bugger too! It would constantly grow or shift. And because I had to just shove it haphazardly on the pile of mess that was already there, it's been really hard to even see what was under despite knowing that pile was growing too.

That little bundle of not good enough wasn't something I could move around like I can the others. The other piles of psychological yuck are all mine and I can get them to sort of stick together and blend a bit which helps for stability in every day life. But that little bundle stacked on top was heavy and didn't want to mesh with the rest of my junk. It would roll around because it DOES have a mind of it's own because it was not mine.

Whenever that little bundle shifted and I could see my rot pile, I would check my own pile, untangle a little bit of it which just made that little bundle roll into the hole I created by working on my own issues. And the damned bundle just kept getting bigger!

It got so big and heavy and unruly that I couldn't see my own issues, I couldn't get to them. It would just bobble around whenever I moved, constantly pushing down on me, crushing my rot, getting bigger every day while the issues under kept growing.

That little bundle wasn't mine, nor was it yours. It came from the third entity and I had not realised you had been carrying it the entire time, just like you had not realised there were things from the third entity that I had taken on and decided to carry.

For the first few months after you realised the bundle wasnt yours we played hot potato with it, each time it changed hands it got bigger and more dense. But, I ran out of the strength to throw it back when it managed to get lodged in my pile of stuff that's reserved for "you are responsible for making your partner happy". I suspect that the bundle ended up there because it felt familliar, maybe it was truly your bundle to begin with but because you had been doing a lot of self work you were able to jiggle it free and recognise it. I know you never intended it to crush me. For most people it would probably roll off but my pile of "happy partner" is just a crazy magnet for stuff like that. If I'm not being dilligent with booping it's snoot, it will catch EVERYTHING even when it wasn't even thrown for it! (No! Bad muck puppy, not your problem ball. Drop it, drop iiittt. NO, NOT THERE!! Gorram it, well, I guess that's stuck in there now. Ergh, i gotta touch it... eh I will just leave it for later.)

I feel like I threw away that bundle two days ago. Two days ago I didn't try to give it back, I just made the choice not to carry it any more. The problem though is that third entity, the thing this bundle belongs to, that entity doesn't carry stuff on its own. It's more like a support pokemon that boosts it's team but for whatever reason can't hold an item. Maybe we didn't feed it properly. The second you drop third entities items it feels rejected and it runs away. Sometimes it will try to hide with one person or the other, sometimes it just runs off. Skittish little thing.

The thing I have known to be true about this year is that were I single, I would not have been entertaining the idea of looking after a relationship pokemon. Were I single I would have done a full Jj lock-down, ONLY focus on me and what I want and need. But that wasn't the case and now my shiny, super rare pokemon has been scared away.

On the plus side my muck puppy FINALLY stopped bringing that problem ball back, though he is eyeing it off and I KNOW he wants to pick it up. I think he really misses the pokemon, he does get fed more when its around.

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flockofdoves · 1 year

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today was really really bad. was in the middle of cleaning my roommates cat shit off the floor today in preparation for our landlords inspection tomorrow that my roommate never responded about helping out with when my roommate got home from work. and of course she did her usual thing of trying to ignore me and running upstairs but i repeated her name a couple more times til she was forced to acknowledge i was there and when i said 'hey can we please talk for a little bit' she said 'haha no thats okay thanks though!' with a weird mocking tone while not looking in my direction continuing to walk up the stairs

and i started fucking panicking i walked outside for a bit with my gf and couldnt stop myself sobbing and hyperventilating and shaking once we were back inside which my roommate obviously could hear.

and i just didn't have the energy to clean up her mess anymore when i was so emotional right then and kept coming back to wanting to Really Well express my feelings even though i knew it wouldn't amount in anything and she never responds to texts anyway unless she stands to benefit from it

but just so i wouldn't push down and stop feeling my emotions and so i could let out my energy in an effective way i spent the last 2 and a half hours writing this all out

and of course when i went to text it it wouldn't deliver so i'm sure she blocked my number in preparation after that lol. but i also emailed so like whatever

katie —

i acknowledge that texting or emailing a giant wall of text is not really an ideal form of communication. there are some things i have hoped to express for a while, and i don’t want to pile it all on, so i hope despite the format i can do an okay job at expressing my hopes and needs without making this overwhelming to read or anything.

today jacqueline and i spent the whole day cleaning downstairs. as me and jacqueline are hoping to renew our lease here, i have been scared that if the apartment isn’t clean enough for the inspection that was going to be tomorrow (as of an hour ago moved to saturday instead) that we would have no housing in a month from now.

i feel drained in our current living situation. it is upsetting to smell months old moldy dishes in the sink every day, or to find the source of the fly problem in an old fermented cup of coffee full of larvae. but i get that you probably feel similarly, and it wouldn’t be productive to tie up my emotions surrounding that into blame, and i hope i can word things here in a way that makes it clear that i am writing to express my needs and where i am at, and not to simply leave you to handle my emotions or anything.

i have had times of my life where keeping things clean and sanitary has been hard, and even if i don’t know your specific situation, i empathize with that struggle a lot. i know that (beyond of course combatting structural issues in society and health issues that can often contribute to that sort of struggle) the way out of that struggle is in support and help from the people around oneself. we may not know each other that well, but i would like to be able to help in some form.

it isn’t sustainable for me though for the form that that help takes to be for me and jacqueline to deep clean everything every few months once it gets really bad again. i have a physical disability that causes me chronic flare ups of extreme joint and muscle pain. i have been in the middle of a flare up during this week leading up to the inspection, making cleaning a very slow and draining process for me. i’m sure that between being busy with work and any other situations i am not aware of that you clearly have a lot on your plate as well that is making doing stuff like cleaning a struggle too.

obviously there is no ideal solution to stuff like that when all parties involved are struggling and there aren’t enough external resources, but i believe from past experiences that the best thing that can be done to improve the situation as much as possible for all involved is for people to work collaboratively, communicating openly about what they might need help with, lessening the strain on them when the other person is able to do more, reciprocating the same when they can, and finding a compromise to push themselves a little and equitably share the strain when things are hard for both people but stuff still needs to get done.

even if i, for example, do not feel like i am at a point in my life where i have the time and resources to consistently take care of a cat and didn’t expect to have to worry about that responsibility, i would be much happier if you communicated stuff like for example, ‘hey would you be able to scoop her litterbox this week, things are really busy right now and i’m struggling with doing it myself’ as opposed to the current situation where it technically isn’t my responsibility, but it still needs to get done and i’m not sure if it will happen. i want to help you and kitty, and having stuff like that explicitly communicated would make things a lot easier for me.

i get that it is hard to communicate, especially when you’re in a bad situation, and i know i have been awkward in my communication as well, but no matter how hard it is i think it is still crucial for fostering a healthy environment where none of us feel too burnt out.

the same applies to a lot of other situations. if you are struggling with having the resources needed to get enough food for whatever reason, i want to be able to help you out, and if you ask i’d be happy to give you any food you want, no further questions asked. i also love to cook and share meals with people. but i feel upset when i allow myself in my budget one snack to look forward to, only to see it gone with no notice, or when my mom bought me a snack box when i was going through a hard time, only to find it empty out on the deck. what is important to me in these types of situation is the communication, i would be happy to share stuff if you asked.

i would really like if we could be more communicative with each other in our last month living together. while i totally respect if you wouldn’t want to, and its not at all in my expectations for what our household dynamic should be, i also would be happy to maybe even have movie nights and stuff like we talked about when we first moved in together. while there’s other small things that have built up that would be nice if they were resolved but i totally respect if they can’t be (ex. if by any chance you didn’t throw out me and jacqueline’s dishes that were on the deck i would love to have them back so i can wash them and use them again, or if you have the money to, our electric bills every month have been over the $70 you pay for electricity and its been a bit tight for me and jacqueline to pay your remaining portion of electricity after subtracting for the wifi if you can afford to compensate us) but the only thing i really want out of this last month is for us all to be able to equitably share the work of keeping the house sanitary and the cat healthy, and for there to be communication whenever you might need extra help, and then i would be happy to do it. please of course let me know anything i can improve on as a roommate too, i want you to have a good environment to live in too.

i know every sentiment i wrote out here jacqueline also shares too.

thank you for reading, chiara

#cpost

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casspurrjoybell-27 · 4 months

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In a Heartbeat - Chapter 13 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Simon

"Alright kiddo, the snow cleared, time to get you home," I nudged Sally from her slumber.

She groaned, turning to get comfortable again but I kept pushing her to stay awake.

It had been a few weeks I've reckoned living with Sally in the cave and I had gotten to know her quite well.

She was a lot more intelligent than I had assumed for someone her age but then again her parents were probably rich and able to afford top-notch education for her.

Surprisingly, she was also very keen with her senses and had pretty balanced hunting skills.

She was able to track down a few vermin when I had lost their scent trail from the snow.

Whoever her parents were, they had taught her the necessary hunting skills needed to survive on top of her basic schooling.

For the most part, they had done a great job of raising her and taking care of her emotional needs but who was I to judge, when I couldn't even reign my own emotions.

Sally yawned before looking up at me with her puppy dog eyes.

"I don't wanna."

"I promised I'd walk you back there once the snow cleared. Your parents are probably worried sick. It's been weeks, Sally."

"Can't I just stay with you?"

She pouted before snuggling next to my side.

For a second I wondered what it would be like to stay with Sally here.

Living in a cave was far from ideal but the idea of having someone who understands me despite being more than half my age didn't seem like such a bad idea at first.

Short-term, it had worked out but there was no way I could raise a child long-term.

I couldn't even handle unruly Cedar on my own for more than a few hours by myself and just the thought of what had happened to my siblings because I couldn't listen to simple instructions qualm any hope or desire to take care of Sally any longer.

I couldn't bear the thought of the repercussions for putting her in any danger.

"You have a home there," I reminded her.

"A pack to call home. Not some silly cave with me."

She stretched her legs out before replying.

"And it could be your home too. You could get a real house, with doors and a bed."

I smiled at that before walking towards the mouth of the cave before looking back at her.

"This cave is quite cozy if you ask me. Now let's go before it starts snowing again."

She hesitated before following me out of the cave and towards the forest.

Luckily, not many rogues were on site and if they were, they minded their own business, either hunting a scent or merely strolling along.

My old pack didn't have any hunters out today, which was a good sign, considering I had been chased by them on multiple occasions for simply disrupting their scent trails.

Despite being deep in rogue territory, the pack had no issues with accusing us rogues of interrupting or ruining their hunting or scouting.

Luckily for us, the recent snow probably deterred them from hunting.

The cave wasn't necessarily too far from the New Moon pack, maybe a little over a mile but the trek through the dense woods and the occasional valleys and cliffs made the journey a bit tiresome.

Although I knew these woods like the back of my hand, I made sure to rest for Sally and take easier paths even if it took twice as long.

She didn't seem to mind, given her reluctance to head back.

"You know," she said during a short break.

"When we get to my pack, I'll make sure to tell them to take you in."

She seemed to hop towards me as we continued walking alongside a small stream.

I smiled half-heartedly as I watched her prance about.

"I'm not sure they'll allow that. It's been a long time since I've been a pack member, Sally."

"How long?"

"Longer than you've been alive. Ten years."

Sally had stopped dead in her tracks, and the look on her face was adorable.

Her face scrunched up, trying to comprehend what I had said.

She had opened and closed her mouth like a fish gasping for breath before settling on returning to her jovial self by walking past, jumping on rocks or logs.

Every now and then I reminded her to be careful and had to brace her when part of a fallen tree had cracked.

Despite the dread and nerves of approaching my old pack heightening as I started to recognize the clearings that surrounded the pack, just seeing the liveliness and joy that exuded off Sally like the sunset glow made the trek serene and almost feel normal.

"There it is," she beamed, running in circles like a dog with the zoomies before sprinting ahead.

I thought I lost her at first before she returned, looking at me expectantly.

"Let's go, let's go."

I almost sprinted after her, as if it was a normal thing to do until I spotted multiple Betas from the shrub line that separated the rogue territories with the neutral territory.

She waited with me, despite her enthusiasm from earlier, and looked up at me expectantly.

I think deep down, I was afraid of this from the start but Sally had been a distraction enough during a journey here, that it hadn't truly set in quite yet.

My old pack, my old home was merely fifty feet away from where we were standing and suddenly all the dread and anxiety were starting to kick in again.

"What's wrong?" Sally nudged me and when I looked down I noticed I had been shaking so uncontrollably that I was surprised I was still standing.

I didn't answer her, didn't trust myself to answer her, before watching the Betas that stood guard patrolling the pack border.

I had seen a few of them before during their hunting parties and from the few times, I had the courage to observe the border in hopes of seeing my mate when I had been younger and naive to believe he'd forgive and allow me back in.

They were talking amongst them from what I could tell from the shrub line and I risked poking my head out from the bushes to get a better look.

They didn't seem to notice but I kept my body low to the ground just in case.

Sally crouched down with me, her head brushed against my shoulder as she looked up at me.

"What are we waiting for?" she asked.

I stepped back, turning around toward a more hidden area.

"The pack's that way, Simon. Let's go."

"I can't," I muttered.

She frowned, letting out a low whine.

"Why not?"

"I just can't," I said.

"You go ahead. Your parents are waiting."

"But you're coming with me, right?" she pouted.

"Right?"

I looked past her, seeing the Betas patrol the pack border and then down at her.

As much as I wanted to please her and tell her I'd gladly walk in there, it was a total ruse.

Walking back there was a death wish, Vince would never allow it even if I showed up twenty years from now.

He had made his point very clear and I wasn't about to chance it now.

"I'm sorry," I told her.

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sharksa-shivers · 1 year

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Oh look, Max being unhinged again lol; CW: Uhhhhh Max rambling about fireants being poured onto somebody's crotch and also talking about drilling though his own head with morbid curiousity in the second one... (So...Max being Max lol...)

------ Sharky: So yeah, i feel like that's part of why the 2nd movies the strongest in the trilogy yknow?

Sharky: It does such a good amazing job of pushing the plot along from the first movie, it's such good storytelling.

Max: ykniw what would vbe real cock and ball torture????

Kristy: …..What?

Sharky: Max, stfu, talking about movies rn

Max: if you were tied down and somebody pourred a bucket of fire ants on your lap

Max: i would juat ask for euthanasia at that point

Sharky: I fucking hate you because i physically could imagine that, fuck you Max, oh god, my skin is fucking crawling

Max: crawlinh like a fire ant swarm ey?

Sharky: SHUT THE HELL UP, GODDAMNIT

Kristy: …….I think i would throw myself out the window if an entire hoard of ants were thrown on me because i just…that's too much, oh god…

Max: ants are friends sometines but not when put into a bucket and poured onto your crotch

[Maxy Maxwell has been banned from the chat]

Sharky: I SAID STFU, DID YOU NOT HEAR ME???

[MaximumMaxwell has joined the chat]

Max: but what if it was termites instead? Or you were trapped in a room with wasps? Huh? What then???

Kristy: Max stfu for 5 minutes impossible challenge

Max: it is impossible cuz i'm enjoying this way too much cuz i'm bored as shit lol -------------------- Kristy: Ok! So!

Kristy: has anybody come up with any ideas of what we can do for the mission or?

Max: if you stuckk a drill im your ear and turned it on, would you be able to scramble your brain or even get fo your skull? Or would all your internal ear shit keep ylu fro.m doing that?

Kristy: ……..

Kristy: Max?

Max: yes uwu?

Kristy: tf is wrong with you?

Max: hold on, i ca. Go get the lisg if you want but i warn you it is over 500 pages

Sharky: I was asleep and my phone kept fucking buzzing and woke me up.

Sharky: I now regret waking up having read this Max, i am going back to sleep so i can hopefully wake up with 0 memories of you asking that.

Max: Can i have an answet tho or???

Max: my theroy is thay you could probably drill through your inned ear shit and then get to the skull and maybe drill in some but i don't know if the drill would be able to go much farthsr in (im talkin like a normal ass basic bitch powerdrill, nothing too crazy)

Max: I also thinl you'd permanently fuck your hearing up, if not just making you deaf in a very fuxkin painful way so i do not recommend trying despite me being very curious hmmmm

Sharky: Good news, i am not about to fucking do that crazyass shit. I am instead muting my phone and sleeping again since i did not sleep well last night.

Kristy: But wait!!! The mission!!!!

Sharky: The one time i'm self caring and you still wanna go off about the mission?

Sharky: look, i'm napping for like 2 or 3 hours, i will be back in a bit to talk about it, just please, i wanna rest a bit.

Max: What if you drilled through your eyeball tho? Could you drill into your brain that way? That might be easier tbh

Sharky: Yeah, that's my que, laters, i am not dealing with this rn… ------------- Max needs to stop fdsjhkfdhfdhfdjkhjf but uhhhhh he never will so...Yknow lol... Max is the guy who will be up at like 4 in the morning wondering if you could set fireworks off with a taser, this man needs help lol... Hoping this one doesn't get me in trouble but uhhhh i kinda doubt it...hrmmmm anxiety

#kidnappedseries #kidnappedseries dialog stuff #max #Max being unhinged again

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innerworkingofbrain · 1 year

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A Child's Woe

A Child’s Woe

“Finish your studies” my mother said. Growing up in a small town in Sta. Cruz Baybay was a simple and idyllic existence. A couple looked after my uncle’s field and grew wheat for survival. My parents provided for our family of almost a dozen with the sweat of their brows and the soil of their fields. As a maturing fifth child, a mountain was beneath my feet following the shadow across the river of my mind I had my own little world to explore, full of wonder and imagination. Insufficiency of parental support is crucial for overall growth and my development as a child for this can impact my mental health, social skills and emotional well being. If I feel emotionally supported, it’s like having a soft cushion that helps me bounce back from life’s challenges, allowing me to develop healthy emotional regulation skills soar with higher self-esteem.

First, just like a tower in a mountain standing tall on a rocky cliff unwavering and vigilant; this provided me with a strong foundation by instilling education from an early age. My journey as a child was marred by bad weather filled with pressure to achieve my own sparkling milestones. Each step was a jewel in the crown of knowledge. Each challenge was like a precious gem to be conquered. The thrill of learning along the way was a sunlit vista, with endless probability of mine. However, the pursuit of myself was like tumultuous voyage, fraught with stormy seas and treacherous uncertainty. My journey was riddled with pitfalls and stumbling blocks, hindering progress and causing setbacks. Weight of expectations felt like a heavy burden, pressing down with overwhelming pressure. My once clear path was obscured by foggy doubts and fears, making it difficult to navigate towards the designed destination. Despite the struggle in mind there was a glimmer of hope, a flickering light in the midst of a storm. When my mental health started struggling way back in 2020 during Covid-19 , there was a dark and endless tunnel. I can't see the light at the end, and being trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions. The weight on my chest, making it hard to breathe and move forward. I often feel drowning in my own thoughts, unable to come up for air. Being stuck in a stormy sea, with no raft or life jacket to keep me afloat. The waves keep crashing over me, and I don't know how much longer I can hold on. On bad days, it feels like I was trapped in a small box with no air or light. I feel suffocated and helpless, unable to escape my own mind. A nightmare that I could not wake up from, no matter how hard I tried. There were times it also affect my physical health. I was exhausted and drained, like I had no energy left to get through the day. Trying to run a marathon with a broken leg - I was able to push myself, but it's painful and unsustainable. . And I thought I have found a way forward, the path crumbles beneath my feet and I went back where I started.

Second, when I had a lack of social skills, it was like being a fish out of water. Feeling out of place and awkward, unable to navigate the social waters around me. Trying to speak a foreign language that I didn't understand, I couldn't connect with others or express myself in the way I want to. A wall that separates me from others. I wanted to connect with people, but I couldn't seem to break through the barrier that kept us apart. And the longer I stand on the other side of the wall, the more isolated and lonely I felt. Trying to dance without knowing the steps. Clumsy and self-conscious, worried that I would make a mistake or embarrass myself in front of others. The more I worry, the more I stumble and fall. On bad days, it's like being invisible. I wanted to be seen and heard, but no one seems to notice me. Like I was speaking into a void, and no one was listening or responding. And the more I tried to get attention, the more I felt ignored and invisible.

Lastly, when my well-being was suffering and being lost in a dense fog. I couldn't see where I was going, and everything around me felt hazy and uncertain. Stumbling through the darkness, hoping to find my way but never quite getting there. My body felt like a house of cards, with each card precariously balanced on top of the next. A single gust of wind could knock it all down, leaving me vulnerable and exposed. And the more I try to hold it together, the more I feel like I was on the brink of collapse. My mind was a stormy sea, with waves that crash and toss me around. Trapped in a small boat, with no way to steer or control my course. The longer I'm adrift, the more helpless and overwhelmed I feel. On bad days, it's like being trapped in a maze, with no clear path out. Every turn I take leads to a dead end, and every step I take was like a wasted effort. I'm running in circles, never quite reaching my destination. My body was like a car with a flat tire, dragging along and unable to pick up speed. It's as if I was constantly running on empty, with no fuel to keep me going. And the more I push myself, the more I feel like I was going to break down. My mind had this tangled ball of yarn, with thoughts and worries that knot together and refuse to unravel. I was stuck in a mental loop, unable to break free from the same patterns of negative thinking. The longer I stay stuck, the more I feel like I was losing my grip on reality.

Overall, the negative impact of mental health can be overwhelming and isolating. It could make me feel like I was alone in a dark and scary place, with no hope for escape. But with the right support and resources, I know that I could find my way back to the light and start to heal. Having a lack of social skills can be like being a fish out of water or speaking a foreign language. It felt like a wall that separates me from others, or like trying to dance without knowing the steps. And on bad days, it could feel like I was invisible, speaking into a void with no response. But with the right support and resources, I know that I could learn to swim in the social waters and find my place in the world. Negative well-being could be like being lost in a dense fog, a house of cards, a stormy sea, or a maze. It can leave me feeling uncertain, vulnerable, overwhelmed, and stuck. But with the right tools and support, I know that I could find my way out of the fog, steady my house of cards, calm the stormy sea, and navigate the maze to find my way to a place of greater well-being.

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