Tumgik
#if its not fucking me making the plans and going out people just do not fucking care
furious-blueberry0 · 6 hours
Text
Are there people out there that really think that Star Wars is too political? And say that as if it is a flaw?
Like, I’m sorry, but did people seriously look at a saga literally named Star WARS and manage to complain about the fact that it has politics? Did these people watch the movies and only saw the lightsabers, the cool music and the pew pews? Is that all their brain could comprehend?
I’m not saying that you can’t do that, if you want to look at the fun side of the saga only than good for you, but using the argument of “too much politics” and make it the flaw of the story is so stupid.
Like that’s the point, THAT’S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT.
George Lucas didn’t just make a story of a good guy vs a bad guy, he made a story where a Republic, a just system that has become corrupted to its core, finds itself into a devastating war and is pushed to its limit by a slimy and disgusting scheming bastard (inspired by George Bush), who then uses its weakness to take control of it and transform it, from a free system to a fascist dictatorship (inspired by Nazi Germany and the USA of the Vietnam war) and whose one of the first things he does is a literal genocide and ethnical cleansing of a religious order.
And this is only the Prequels, because in the OT the story is about how this Empire, whose head and right hand are literally the most powerful beings in the galaxy, gets utterly destroyed not by other powerful beings, not by superpowers, not by mystical forces that the human mind can’t comprehend.
But by people, normal people, the average person, who can’t fly, who can’t use mystical objects, who cannot move things with the mind or other tricks.
The heroes of these movies are the rebels, who are not fighting because of some ancient prophecy, or because of a quest given by mystical beings, or because they have to restore the fabric of the Universe, they fight because it’s the right thing to do, because this is what happens when you take away freedom from people, when you destroy their homes, when you kill their loved ones, when you obliterate everything they have ever known and loved.
Treat people like animals and they’ll react like animals, by biting the hand that carries the stick and then ripping it into shreds.
And yes, Luke is the hero that saves the day by killing Sidious and Vader, but he would have never, and I say NEVER have arrived at that point without the help of the Rebellion, it’s something that no one could have ever done alone, a single individual against an entire Empire is a suicide, no matter how powerful you are.
And I love it. I don’t even know how to put it into words, I love how this ancient and meticulous plan gets annihilated by normal people, who just wanted to be free.
THIS is Star Wars: a fight against tyranny.
And it makes me sad how people forget and ignore it. With the Rebellion it’s not just the special people who can be heroes, everyone can! And they don’t even need to do the heroic actions described in the stories and the myths.
A Hero says “No” when the Stormtroopers ask if they saw the young and scared boy who ran and hid behind the bins near their home.
A Hero gives extra blankets and food to the neighbor that is hiding refugees.
A Hero “accidentally” blocks the way of a squad of Stormtroopers, to give others the time to escape.
A Hero hides the weapons of the rebels in their well while the Stormtroopers raid all the houses.
A Hero runs through the streets and into the woods to go find the rebels that are hiding there, to tell them it’s time to run
A Hero talks loudly about the atrocities that the Empire is committing, forcing those who are silent to listen.
A Hero comforts the mother who lost all her children to the Empire.
A Hero organizes the funeral of that same mother, after she tried to take her revenge.
A Hero doesn’t let the Empire enter their head, they don’t let it change their being.
It’s all about the small acts of insurrection that pushes the line forward.
72 notes · View notes
Text
Because I am his, and he is mine.
Idea, Y!Rook threatening a random lady that wouldn't leave Auron alone. Graphic but like Yandere so yeah- cracking heads, thinking of killing, possessiveness but its mutual.
Rook tighten the grip on the shovel as their eyes locked with Elizabeth. Rage was boiling in them, their skin felt like a fire and their head was pounding to the rhythm of their heart. They stalked her for a few months, needing to learn how their prey worked so this plan of theirs would go without a hitch.
It was funny, all this could have been avoided if that fuck lowlife bitch who doesn't even deserve a sliver of Auron's time...Just left him alone! At first Auron handled it well.
"It's nothing but a crush, dear. Don't worry yourself over it." Soothing his lover he gave the a kiss. That was months ago, Elizabeth just couldn't get the fucking hint he was happy. In the most loving and strong relationship anyone could DREAM of, the one she wished- no prayed for. Like some higher being would make Auron realize she was the better 'choice'.
Flowers, cloths, cologne, and alcohol was sent to him on different days. At first Rook scoffed at it, please like Auron would ever be swayed by things he could get at the drop of a hat! The gifts were given to co workers of Rook, Trish gave them the idea. It was good because some of the co workers really liked them, but when Elizabeth kept coming to the office unannounced to see Auron wearing his gifts.
She kept a poker face when she saw random people with her gifts to her 'one and only'. Elizabeth than thought just giving it personally, would work. Trish was cold to her after the first time, at first thought it was sweet but told her never do it again. But this stupid fucking bitch kept doing it, Rook wanted to take a pencil from their desk and slit her fucking throat and watch the blood pour out while giving her heart to Auron. Elizabeth even called Auron pet names that Rook was only privileged too, the fact they had to bite their tongue as the bitch tried to hang off his arm.
Strutting into the office like she owned it, everyone hated her, Auron was always trying to be professional. Auron and Rook had a date to talk about it, they both are obsessed with one another, Rook knows he'd never leave them. But the fucking fact she has the balls and the audacity to go up to their man, partner, and lover that only had eyes for them. Making him uncomfortable...In the limo Rook was on the side she was on. The silence setting in of the shit the bitch did seeping into Rook's memory and their thoughts.
"I want to crack her fucking head open for touching you." Slipped out in the most venomous hiss, Rook could let out. Auron gently lifted his right hand, stroking his lover's hair, who had their head on his shoulder and they were clutching his left arm.
"If she does something drastic we can deal with it." Softly spoken as he gives them a kiss. Both sides wanted her gone, but if Rook dealt with it first there will be a body that needs to be hidden. Auron just sees this lady as a distraction because shes up in his office when she can and he hasn't been alone with Rook at work for a minute. It was annoying him, so when he saw her once again in the office the next day he snapped.
"Get. Out." Iced shards disguised as words shot out into Elizabeth's heart. She shook her head gently as if trying to tell, Auron, what to do which mind you, isn't something you want to try because that will NOT work out well. Taking in a breath through his nose Auron felt the anger rising, causing him to get a headache, this lady just won't catch a fucking hint? "How many times have I fucking TOLD you to leave me alone politely?" The black haired women tried to speak but was cut off, "I will be having security escorting you out." Words made the woman's heart shatter.
Security came quickly escorting the woman gently as she was still in shock at what was told to her. But seemed to snap out of it when Rook walked by and greeted her quickly. Turning her head Elizabeth gasped as Rook was welcomed into Auron's office by him personally. And before the doors closed Rook showed off that his love was only theirs to have, as Auron wrapped a arm around them, giving them a kiss on the lips.
"YOU FUCKING SKANK!" She screamed as she got farther away from her crush. Is that why he didn't look her way? Because of that mediocre person? They weren't even pretty! Unlike her they wouldn't be accepted by the public! She's obviously the better choice! Elizabeth and Auron would have been a match made in heaven!...She bet that Rook had something above him for black mail. She just has to figure out what it is and free Auron! Then he'll see she was better than that fucking slut.
Months went by and Elizabeth had nothing on that 'Rook" Auron was forced to call them lovingly. But what she didn't know Rook was better at covering their tracks than her. Emails, interviews and old blogs gave Rook all the information they needed of Elizabeth Lovechild. She woke up around 7 am to get ready to go to her job by the office, she has a break between 2 and 3 pm, thats what she used her break for? Please Rook could drop anything and see Auron whenever they wished or if he wished.
A key detail stuck out to Rook, Elizabeth met Auron when she first moved to the City. Posting about a gentle red head that helped her to the train station after a man tried to grab her. Calling him her guardian angel and stuff, Rook really wanted to bash her delusional head in even more. This was because there was so many posts about Auron, how she would give him children, food, love, and support more than anyone could ever think of. How she would get rid of anyone that come between them, even breaking up with her boyfriend that couldn't even meet her standards that Auron reached so quickly.
Also how she figured out who Auron was after seeing him in an article about him being a rich bachelor. The obsession about him got bigger as she tried to learn where he goes for eating, enjoyment, and other things. Giving her followers posts how she was better than any of the toys he played with before her, they couldn't stay with him more than a night is because he was looking for her. Rook was giggling as they found that, Auron who was cuddling them asked what was going on.
"Hhmm nothing much just found Elizabeth's blog where she talks only about you. It's really fucking pathetic." Humming as they showed the pone to him he scrunched his nose in annoyance and kissed Rook's head. "I don't even remember that interaction where I first met her." Truthfully Auron forgot all about her, he's a busy man that needed everyone at a distance, he also doesn't remember crazy love sick girls that run after him. Rook giggled even more as they tossed their phone on the bed and turned to Auron, kissing his neck and getting a groan as they nipped at it.
"I know and I'm going to deal with it next week. She tried to get information on me but I have so, so much on her." Auron chuckled "If you want too, do it. I'll cover it dear." The permission they got made them fall even more deeper with Auron. The next day Rook had a off day, telling Auron they were going to go to Elizabeth to handle her he nodded.
"Be safe okay?" Seriousness was in the command he gave, Rook kissed his cheek "Of course love, she wouldn't even be able to touch me." Even when Rook said that Auron was a little paranoid to leave them to deal with it. So slipping a small tracker on them he set them off because sadly he had a meeting to go to. Now Rook knew Elizabeth was going to use this day to stalk them, she had nothing and she was getting skittish.
Walking pass her apartment Rook knew Elizabeth was following, she was sloppy making too many mistakes that Rook knew exactly where she was behind them. Rook went to the store, simply looking at things and at one point even a worker came up to them telling how there was a suspicious character following them. feigning surprise they used this to their advantage "Can I be let out the back so I can call someone to help me get home?" The worker nodded and rushed them to the back where they explained to the manager about the woman following Rook.
The manager even gave a shovel to Rook in case the woman got the hint they were running away. Rook, acting like the innocent helpless person thanked them and walked in the back alley's. They heard something fall and decided it was now time to act, whipping around they held the shovel to their chest.
"Is..is someone there?" Quivering their voice just right as Elizabeth came out around the corner. Wild eyes meet Rook's, like a wolf finally catching their prey but Rook was the apex predictor she forgot existed. The woman said nothing as they got closer to them, a knife flashing in her hand as she brought it in front of her.
"I'm going to get rid of you. Then Auron would finally only love me!" Shooting forward the stupid bitch didn't see Rook's shovel in their hand. Rook swung the shovel like a bat and connected with Elizabeth's arm that was holding the knife. A piercing scream was heard as the woman fell to the ground holding her broken arm. Looking up, her breath hitched as Rook showed their crazy smile then the giggling started as Rook raised the shovel again. Elizabeth tried to shield her head with her other arm which was broken as well. Another scream was heard, luckily it was a busy day as cars in the distance honked and roared loudly.
"Awe I thought you were gonna get rid of me?" Elizabeth growled at them as she shuffled backwards pathetically. "What would Auron think?" The woman froze, looking at Rook again "He already wants you gone and I want you dead." Elizabeth started shaking like a lamb as Rook go closer. The person still standing put the shovel to her throat and began "I know where you live, work, where your family lives, your friends, your blogs and the fact no one will come to save you." Elizabeth could have sworn horns came out of their head as they told her all the things she does in a day.
"Are you okay? I checked your location and you haven't moved I was so scared you...What the fuck are you doing here?" Cold words were pointed at Elizabeth like the knife she had for Rook earlier. Which Auron saw, and glared darkly at the woman who was bleeding.
"I could have you stripped of everything if I wished because Auron would do anything to make me happy. He's madly in love with me, you know? But you just couldn't fucking get it through that think skull of yours!" Resentment seeped through their words as their voice got louder and the shovel got more into her neck. Elizabeth couldn't even responded as she was trying to think of a way out, but her mind went blank as all the things about her was thrown into the air. Then there was a noise of a car pulling up and a door slamming shut, Auron was here! She had a big smile but it was ripped away when Auron checked over Rook.
"Did you try and hurt my partner?" Words meant blood as he stood high and tall before her. Elizabeth tried to speak but Rook beat her to it, "She followed me all day apparently, I was shopping and if a sweet worker didn't tell me she probably would have tried to hurt me in the store." Rook gripped the shovel tighter "I didn't want to hurt her, Auron..." Small tears began to fall and Auron's anger became more clear. Whipping out his other phone he made a call, telling a doctor on the other side to go to this location to treat someone and get the away from him or the body will need to be hidden.
"I'm going to tell you this once, because I had to repeat myself os many times with you and I honestly don't care what you do after I leave. Dont EVER come back." Elizabeth chocked on her siliva at those words. But...he loved her? W-
"Why? You may ask? Because if you do I will have you fucking tortured for thinking you could hurt my partner." The woman looked to his side where he was holding Rook, their eyes only on him as they smiled sweetly at his words. The person on his arms smiled at her after getting kiss from Auron, "See what I mean? Auron would do anything to make me happy." Sounds around them started to muffle in Elizabeth's ears as she looked down, everything was hitting her. Dreams, her heart, and her dignity was shattered by one person a person that didn't even deserve Auron.
Hatred filled her as she thought about everything that she could have being taken by one person. She didn't even care what she was screaming "Why? Why them? Their nothing and they deserve to fucking DI- ACK!" A hand was wrapped around her throat before she could finish. Auron tighten his grip as she gasped for breath, the the burning fury he had against this woman for insulting Rook was overriding his logic side for a second.
"Apologize." Commanding and firm the simple words made her do it quickly. The apology was a stutter of shallow breath, then Auron threw her on the ground, wiping a hand before escorting Rook to the car. Loud gasps filled the quiet alley way as Elizabeth tried to think of what to do, the car drove off and she felt desperate for someone to help her quickly. Her arms and neck hurt so much, she started to sob on the ground, she didn't care anymore just wailing like a wounded animal.
•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•
And with that I'm ending it here bc if I go any farther I'm gonna lose my marbles! This was suppose to be a small thing than it got like super fucking long </3
24 notes · View notes
videogamelover99 · 2 years
Text
I Had a Realization About Ch.101 and No One's Talking About It
I had assumed that Dazai has the option to stop the flooding procedure in the Control Room but now that I think about it that is most likely not the case.
Dazai presents to Sigma a sequence of events that differs from what might actually be happening, timeline-wise. Dazai reveals information to Sigma in a way that makes us think every new step in Ch.101 that he reveals is a re-concieved way to defeat the new two-vs-two teamup of Dostoyevsky and Chuuya. But if you look at the events as they are happening in real time, that does not make any sense.
What's actually happening, in sequence:
Sometime before Sigma sees the Control Room, Dazai's cat lady stops time so Dazai can kill all the guards and set up his trap to kill Dostoyevsky.
Tumblr media
We don't know exactly when this happens. It could have been before Gogol even showed up. It could have been when Gogol was explaning the rules. All we know is, it had to have been before Fyodor falls for the trap. So lets set it aside for now.
Other than that, what happens?
CH.98, after Dazai picks Sigma. Dazai dances around with Sigma some, seemingly wasting time.
Tumblr media
Then this happens?
Tumblr media
And Dazai abruptly switches to heading directly toward the Control Room. Which is interesting, because Sigma doesn't notice anything. This is most likely when the cat lady stopped time and Dazai was able to set up his trap. Because now that everything's in play, he can see it laid out for him with Sigma.
It's right after that we get the first signs of an intruder.
Tumblr media
Dazai most likely knew Fyodor was going to pick a pawn to help him escape. What he didn't know, I'm sure, was that it was Chuuya.
Tumblr media
Not only cause Dazai's entire demeanor changes when he realizes this, but because Dazai only says "I see" when a genuine realization comes to him, often times too late.
After this, Dazai sets up the "two vs. two" battle strategy for Sigma. Except here's the thing. That doesn't make sense if the trap is already in play. There is no battle! It's already decided!
Tumblr media
This panel happens after the locking mechanism on Fyodor's side breaks, meaning that Dazai is stating this when his plan is already in motion. Dazai is explaining how they're going to beat Chuuya and Dostoyevsky as if he hadn't already set up the trap, so that Sigma thinks all of this is happening in real time.
Tumblr media
Here's the important part Dazai mentions: Once closed, the walls will never open again and there's no way to stop the flooding. The walls will never open again implies that it's impossible for anyone to open them, including the people at the control terminal. "No way to stop the flooding" is also very specific. Dazai doesn't say that it's impossible for Dostoyevsky to stop the flooding, but impossible in general. (Interesting also how Fyodor says that Dazai got the circuit already as if he predicted the locking mechanism would blow up, just not this soon).
Tumblr media
After his little explanation to Sigma, Dazai doesn't seem to do much except turn on the mic to the flooded room.
Dazai presents the facts to Sigma as if every action he took in the past he is taking due to the circumstances of the two-vs-two, but that's not the case, because Dazai has set up the trap in advance, most likely before he even knew Chuuya was the pawn. And it is a trap he himself cannot stop once it's triggered. Meaning that, unless a new factor comes into play, Dazai literally cannot do anything at this point except watch Chuuya drown. Dazai created the perfect plan, one that he himself cannot reverse. It's not about Dazai letting Chuuya die, it's about if he can stop his own plan in the first place.
309 notes · View notes
orbmanson7 · 4 months
Text
:(
Very bad grade in therapy today
#thought i could make progress this year and yet here i am having done jack shit by now#what has even been the point#i just wanted to do something today that didnt feel awful like try to encourage people to watch a show or play a game#and now im just right back to Why do i bother staying alive? im never going to make any progress#and even if i do I'm going to just be worthless the whole time and waste precious resources others could be using#oh yes just try saying a nice thing to yourself for once! yeah sure that will help when i cant do anything worth a damn#i want to help people but i have no skillsets and no money to further my education and teaching myself gets me right where i already am!#continuing like this is like spitting in the face of anyone who is actually out there pursuing their dreams and thats not fair to them#they put in all that hard work and im over here being a whiny ass bitch bc i want so badly to do better and learn more#but the only thing holding me back is that im a dumbass who cant do anything right and no one will ever think differently#why am i trying to make myself something i can never be? what is goddamn point if its just a waste of everyones time and effort#i just... it feels like the least i can do is just stop taking up space#free up some oxygen for someone who really needs it and shelter for someone who truly deserves it#i shouldnt even have these things and yet i complain about how much gas i have to pay to commute to my jobs#like such an asshole#and i said i so much in these tags bc im such a selfish jerk who coearly doesnt care enough nor has a worthwhile vocabulary to say otherwise#theres just no fucking point to any of this#...#its cold today#might be a good day to do my favorite plan#actually yeah fuck it im gonna go#hope you all stay kind to yourselves and enjoy your 2024#you absolutely deserve it and everything you can get out of it#keep being amazing yall#see you on the flip side or whatever#orbs thought bubbles
4 notes · View notes
volivolition · 2 months
Text
what's the theme you're fucking going for here voliiii!!! what are you fucking getting at!!! what are you trying to say, what's the point??
#still working on this drama chapter in Swept Up. they're. confusing to work with? from an empathy standpoint at least.#skill who is trying to honestly understand the other skills VS skill who is just always lying and putting on an act.#and then theres the whole thing that im not going to spoil yet but the dynamic. fuck man. i dont even know what im trying to say here#lying is bad? no i dont care about that. honest communication is important maybe? i feel like i need a central theme for this.#and i dont want the theme to be ''empathy good'' because low-empathy people are also good and i love them!! and also:#empathy is a flawed character!! i try to portray this. i dont like moralism/centrism which empathy believes in and is the main skill for#empathy you stupid centralist (affectionate) i know this is just because you don't know how to make everyone happy. who can fix this?#you dont think you can fix this! you feel too much debilitating sadness to make meaningful change!! responsibilite to others more capable#still. i do depict empathy as often kind on a small level because i think that's in character. empathy just helps you understand.#i guess this fic is also a ''empathy doesn't mean kindness. kindness is a choice you can make afterwards but empathy just means empathy''#but that's not a centralizing theme that all the chapters share. its also about vulnerability and the mortifying ordeal of being known#urgh. i'll think about it some more. knowing me its probably another ''love (in all forms) is the meaning to life'' type story lmao <3#i need to make a skill chart for this harry. all i know is that Volition is his skill signature but Empathy is his highest stat#hyper-empathetic harry with the rsd that comes from adhd!! haha!! suffering. everybody fucking hate you. this is based on me btw lmao#i was working on voli's chapter which has a flashback and child empathy! new to the mindspace looking out through harry's eyes and crying#the world is full of sad people and it's just too much for a lil guy! the backstory i have planned for this like. huh okay. wild. anyway!!#oh shit ive made a fucking breakthrough with the drama chapter. its not a theme but its something i figured out at least. we stay winning!!#chemi chats#task: swept up
4 notes · View notes
wutheringmights · 2 months
Text
.
#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life#woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour#i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom#i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess#earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like#2 weeks straight#i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house#i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you#i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control#fucking sucks man#i hate ibs#in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work?#ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick.#it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school#while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick#but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then#but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off#and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh#this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person
2 notes · View notes
godfistgonnalive · 6 months
Text
when you make weekend plans early in the week and so now every day leading up to it is like purgatory
3 notes · View notes
doperel · 4 months
Text
ventie in tags
#isnt that really wonderful having a major surgery that greatly effects your physical and mental health tomorrow and literally almost none of#your friends say anything about it to you#in the main server i talk in wirh just friends they literally didnt even respond#and went straight to talking about their lives#fucking thanks guys really making me feel seen and listened to#ive gotten more messages from my old guildmates on wow wishing me luck for surgery than i have any of my friends#and thats fucking 3 messagss#it really really huets and makes me super upset#i have literally had a fucking countdown going for this that multiple people have seen and still nothing#it honestly feels like a majority of the people i talk to could care less considering#none of them talk to me unless i initiate a conversation#i feel incredibly alone with this and i just want someone to talk to thatll listen to me#i cant even fucking get into any support groups near me because theyre all fucking dead links or dont exist anymore#endometriosis has been the most isolating experience of my life#i just want somebody to talk to thats it#im miserably lonely and i hate it#and im getting to be more and more angry and bitter about it because of the lack of care i recieve from#people who i consider friends#ever since i first got endo my friends have dwindled in number so much#if its not fucking me making the plans and going out people just do not fucking care#and the fucking people i was close with ended up using me for fucking sex and making me their therapist while dealinf with this#it feels a lot like people dont want me unless they can date me or i pay to do things with them#i legit feel like the last crumbs in the bowl
2 notes · View notes
kissmehardy · 10 months
Text
New law that anyone who works in an office cant have an opinion on my job because they fundamentally cant understand what im doing
#sorry if youre proud about sacrificing your dreams for a paycheck you cant tell me what im not doing isnt worth it bc its in your opinion a#poor roi#like fucking maybe but also maybe not everyone needs to sell their soul maybe youre just bitter that you are#stuck in middle management business hell#oh you got a job? *pulls out calculator* doesnt look like it will be worth it in the long run though#like fuck off youre the one getting an online business phd asshole#stop tell me to work in hr stop it stop it stop it stop it#stop telling me to get a sales job fucking stop i mean it when i say i will kill myself first#god why is everyone on earth so business pilled there are more life paths out there i promise i PROMISE#maybe you wont make 100k a year but fuck you might be free#sorry i would rather travel the country and excavate human remains?? walk through the woods the mountains the swamps?!#do something meaningful like preserve archaeological resources and not make a ceo money?? you have one life and you look down on me for not#dedicating mine to making a ceo money????#sorry i would rather enjoy my job and life??#i dont fucking understand why when i hit 25 suddenly EVERYONE is like ok but youre too old for dreams time to work in hr#fucking excuse me?? so the plan is tell kids to undergrads to follow their dreams and as they obtain them tell them that was stupid are you#kidding me??#im fucking losing my mind i fucking hate you all just bc its not a nine to five doesnt mean its not viable#in fact its MORE viable i got the first fucking job i applied to!!! how many fucking people get the first hr job they apply to jesus christ#no i will actually go into data analysis and get 300 rejections bc i have zero background in it good fucking plan#yall im so mad#pulling out a calculator immediately to tell me my choice is bad fuck off
3 notes · View notes
faerociousbeast · 8 months
Text
being gay is so hard but i imagine being gay for ME is definitely worse. Get better soon
5 notes · View notes
hartenlust · 1 year
Text
this is also just partially because i got rsd this afternoon from the guy im seeing but also im right and i should get to kill
#op#literally the horror of communicating your desire#and also the horror of people not doing so#anyway yeah let me overshare about the rsd to focus on that it was so silly i walked with him to his work and he said goodbye a bit rushed#which . he was literally late for work and we were standing in front of the open door with us being very visible for the other employees#so makes super sense#but my brain's like no hihi he hates you#like he wasnt the one who invited me over#planning on initiating more physical contact next time i should communicate because he Is autistic but i dont think hes touch repulsed but#yknow communication consent etc#hanging out with him is very fun though#i feel a bit floundering sometimes but ill find my footing and its worth the effort to do so because like i said . its really fun#and hes hot as fuck#if you read this far . does anyone have any date ideas#we're going to bind books together & make . miku binders lol#but thats a bit of a project & more effort#i think just coming over again & bringing my laptop so we can watch hannib/al (filtered 4 tags) further but in the evening is also good#but if someone does have a date idea thats swagalicious#his couch sucks though like his apartment is super fancy because he hires it from like old people who live there#but are now fucked off to somewhere#but yeah its very fancy but the couch is also fancy which means its pretty comfortable but super bad for cuddling which didnt help#anyway im also scared he follows me on tumblr LMAO#if this sounds too like something you did this afternoon. dont let me know <3#i rlly dont have date ideas i started with museum and now im blank#maybe a picnic somewhere. go to the beach#okay bye im gonna finish star/struck now
4 notes · View notes
coloursofaparadox · 9 months
Text
i ✨️cannot sleep✨️ and vaguing about shit on the internet feels more cathartic than writing it out somewhere else. suffer.
#im having. thoughts. on one hand. VERY badly want woods and chicken farm.#on the other hand. i do actually like friends?#and the likelihood of making friends as a queer person in a small town is uh. yknow. not as good.#but idk if its important enough to me to put my life on hold indefinitely to create more ties to an area that ill eventually have to leave#if i ever want a chance at supporting myself financially or buying a tiny lil starter house?#ideal situation is i start a gay commune with like minded friends. but uh. people have not been good to me#on the whole 'trust em with your plans' front#sigh. idk. id love to be able to afford a place thats still in the general area but that is never going to happen#unless i can spontaneously manifest /literally/ a million dollars#i am done with romantic relationships i think. if one happens at some point? cool. but i am not basing my life plans around it.#and will not sacrifice my own peace and wellbeing just for the sake of one#god. looking for queer friends who want to live on a farm with me platnically and we all have our own space but#also raise animals together and hang out sometimes. and dogs are a requirement.#i just! want! queer commune! where i can go back to my own little bubble and have my own space too!#aaaaahhhhh!!!! albertas real estate is starting to look real good right about now!#ugh. u g h. i fluctuate wildly between 'im very VERY content not speaking to a human for a week at a time' and 'platonic life partner. pls.#maybe i just....take a page out of 18 yr old me's ballsy ass handbook. and uproot my entire life to move somewhere completely new#where i know no one have no connections and in a completely different climate 😎 it worked out last time#i could so just fuck off somewhere. oh my god it is so tempting.
3 notes · View notes
stupidnaturals · 1 year
Text
.
#GAH hate not knowing how ppl feel about me#bc i used to be SUPER close friends w this person like they were ~25% of th reason i came back to my uni town after moving away last summer#and i keep texting them like ' hey we should meet up sometime! ' and they respond ' omg YES 100% i have SO much i need to catch you up on !#unfortunately i am out of town every single day. also so busy. '#and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out#and i saw them in person at target and they seemed genuinely pleased to see me! and also said something like#' we gotta hang out i have so much to tell you!! *ill* message *you* ' in a way that seemed to convey guilt at ^^ all that#but then how in the WORLD do you happen to be driving out of town immediately after the one event i know we'll both be going to???#and also casually gracing over the fact i also mentioned getting dinner beforehand??#also i dont know any reason they wouldnt like me unless its one of those ' im autistic and didnt notice you getting fed up w me '#or if theyre just actually that busy or too anxious to see people or anxious to reach out or fucking whatever#and like even when i saw them at target they told me a bunch of stuff that i dont tthink youd say to a random acquaintance#which if they do still like me makes sense! bc we were super duper close once! but doesnt make sense if they dislike me/want me to go away#like UGH just either ask me to hang out or say yes to a hang out or tell me to fuck off already!!!!#oh and ALSO the one time we DID have plans we didnt set an exact time but they texted me at like 11 and said ok we can hang out now until 2#or they texted me at 11 and said ' i work at 2 but i dont think thats gonna be a problem also are you okay w hanging w my roomies too '#and i know their roomies so thats fine but i was like ??? WHAT shouldnt be an issue? r you gonna call off to hang out for more than 3 hrs?#or are you gonna friend break up w me so it wont take 3 hours#anyway i was like uhhh shit we didnt set a time so im actually at a tattoo place like an hour away w my roomie?#so we rescheduled for the next day when uh oh they hung out w someone who was exposed to covid so had to cancel again!#i cant think of a single reason they wouldnt like me except that they never did but we had an activity together so they were stuck w me#and they seemed genuinely happy to see me and also seem upset declining plans but like if thats true what the FUCK is happening????#anyway this was a mile long if you e read this far i love u if you have tips feel free to reply or dm me
4 notes · View notes
marklikely · 11 months
Text
whatever maybe im being too hard on him specifically maybe the other execs in that article are right that he's just an easy target because he's the one passing on changes from all of them. but even so what kind of insane defense is that. "no this one guy isnt bad at his job! the employees are just mad at him because hes the point of contact for the rest of us, who are all bad at *our* jobs!"
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
Text
...
#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable#and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back#i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive#logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt#and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her#fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating#bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a#state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid#recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet#but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid#it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off#when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically#a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick#instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway#i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday#idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave#the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was#approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty#bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷‍♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated
5 notes · View notes
catboy-kakashi · 2 years
Text
Noticing a pattern in your behavior that may be a sign of something much larger but instead of trying to analyze that you just quickly put the lid back on the oil fire and walk away
#i have some. problems. when it comes to food#i wouldnt call it like a disorder by any means#i feel like that would be trivializing what people with EDs go through#but uh. well i have been at someone else’s house petsitting and i’ve barely eaten anything besides the bag of veggie chips i brought#and im starting to think. maybe. i need to assess my issues with feeling like im allowed to eat or take food thats offered to me#without being explicitly handed the food and being told its for me#haha uhhhh. haha. anyway. i think i’ll cope with this by projecting onto fictional characters and then never self reflecting#​ camtankerous is whining#like they straight up SAID ‘theres leftover in the fridge! feel free to eat those!’#but because they said that and not ‘thats for you!’ my brain says ‘theyll eat that if i dont. i should leave it for them. its not for me’#like idk. like i dont DESERVE to eat someone elses leftovers??? thats so fucking SAD. that makes me sound like a stray dog or something#i havent had coffee for several days either bc asking how their coffee machine worked felt like admitting i was planning on taking#their coffee and like. maybe im not allowed to have coffee! thats THEIR fancy coffee#i newrly slept on the fucking couch instead of one of the TWO guest beds they told me i could use. whats wrong with me#negative#vent#sorry i just. ive been really stressed out the last few days and i needed to get this out#i straight up dont know where this behavior comes from. its not like my parents were abusive or didnt let me have food??#its like im afraid to let myself enjoy things. who the fuck do i think is going to come and take it away or yell at me.#HAHA wow thats a wall of text huh. i should probably go to therapy!#if youre still reading this do not look upon my wretched form. i dont want you to think less of me for this
18 notes · View notes