#if not then kids...uh...find a way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

commander-gloryforge · 6 months

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fellow guild wars 2 enjoyers that arent popular and part of the cool kids and have ocs that everyone knows/loves and create banger fanart and post really good fics and all that

fellow guild wars 2 enjoyers that are just kinda there and kinda average

lets band together. and maybe kiss.

#dios wisdom #i was uh thinking about how hard its been to make “meaningful” connections in fandoms lately #because the fandoms im in are very oc/creation heavy and its kind of like you have to perform a certain way #or make something valuable before really being able to properly find your place in the community #idk its a silly thought and ive been a bit mentally ill lately so thats that #but. if you are one of the besties that doesnt really belong to the cool kids tm #come into my arms. we will scream loudly.

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merrigel · 5 months

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Doodles from last session- local pirates get forced into going to therapy

Bonus:

#artists on tumblr #illustration #comic #ocs #aveline blackwood #tiller jakobie #frath hornraven #patrick e'choux #cape curiosity #teeny and silly BUT I HAD TO #we've been playing this campaign for years IRL so it was genuinely really neat to like #see where everyone's characters are as we're like... I feel like maybe halfway thru?? the growth!! the change!!#that said I struggled so hard to find a believable way to make Av talk that she and Patch genuinely just uh #stared each other down for like 20 minutes #pic #I love our kids

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hailsatanacab · 2 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Danny Phantom, Batman - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Danny Fenton & Wulf Characters: Danny Fenton, Wulf (Danny Phantom), Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Robin (DCU), Red Robin (DCU), Batman (DCU), Ra's al Ghul Additional Tags: Portals, Ghost King Danny Fenton, Comedy of Errors, DPxDC WEEK 2022, Time Travel, dp/dc week 2022, Swearing

Summary:

Okay, so Danny’s first attempt at a portal isn’t what one would call a success.

Unfortunately, instead of opening into a relatively safe (if incredibly underwhelming) cave, it splits a hole right into a great ocean of ectoplasm in the Ghost Zone, which promptly begins to flood the space around them.

It’s up to their ankles in seconds as gallons of foaming green water surge through the opening, with a thundering roar like waves crashing upon the shore.

“Uh…” Both he and Wulf just stare, watching with wide eyes as the day just gets worse and worse.

“Wulf!” Knocking himself out of his trance, Danny turns towards him and flaps his arms in panic. Oh, shit! This isn’t good! There’s no way this amount of ectoplasm in the material world is healthy, he’s going to be in so much trouble! What the hell are they meant to do? “Help!”

Originally written for dpxdc week 2022 for the prompt "Wulf teaches Danny how to open portals. It does not go to plan."

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dpxdc week #dpxdc week 2022 #danny phantom #batman #danny phantom crossover #it feels like cheating tagging this as dpxdc week but like.... technically most of it was written for then!#things just got way in the way sorry lmao #anyway i feel Accomplished with this #if only because of the translation css/html shit #huge thank you to the tutorial i linked #huge thank you to spinos for finding the tutorial i linked lmao #anyway!!!! just a little fun panic filled romp for danny #where he gets to act like a little kid meeting his heroes for the first time #because he is!#alternative name for this: now you're (not) thinking with portals #anyway uh enjoy thank you love you xox

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flowercrowngods · 1 year

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i need someone (steve) to take one look at mike wheeler after being told that this kid readily walked off the quarry at twelve years old, and see past his walls and his bullshit and see the kindness and bravery that lies beneath the trauma and depression (and puberty). i need someone to take one look at him and see that he’s not doing fine at all — and hasn’t for a while.

#i have this thing in my drafts where steve finds mike at the quarry after dustin told him mike essentially jumped down there #and all steve hears is ‘my friend was ready to die at 12 tears old’#‘my friend was deeply depressed before trauma even got to take a hold of him’#and steve thinking years ago ‘when i first liked a boy i came here too. thought about jumping’#and mike just. looking at steve and suddenly falling apart because yes sure he did it for dustin but he also just. wanted to.#has been wanting to. and then will was gone and people always say bad things happen to boys who like boys and mike has been feeling guilty #back then yes but also ever since. it never stopped. just like his love for will didn’t stop. and asking steve if everything is his fault?#for liking will and then liking el only to fall for will again #and steve hugs him and tells him that he’s going to be okay and that the world ending isn’t mikes fault at all.#and that if he ever thinks about jumping again?? he needs to tell steve and they’ll find a way out.#idk it’s like. very heavy to think about but please i need. i need more steve and mike bonding #and this has probably been done before bc it’s been years but yeah. uh.#internalised homophobia internalised biphobia and impressionable kids who think all the wrongs of the world are their fault #yknow yknow the usual

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creeps-and-pasta · 1 year

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I never rly understood why people read Toby chewing his skin as cannibalism when it is clearly just like. a complusion similar to hair pulling or nail biting.

people can headcannon whatever they want but it's such a wild conclusion to come to lmao

#my posts #creepypasta #ticci toby #toby erin rogers #like guys ill be a little honest here. I uh. do that #like i chew the skin around my fingers. i remeber when i read tobys story i was so suprised to find that he did that too!#and it just sucked that people read that as cannibalism rather than a symptom of a disorder #i guess it just feels like people still relate mental disorders = evil #where they jumped to conclusions abt tobys problems to make him scarier than he actually is #and again. i understand the appeal. but as a kid it was not fun to see the way people viewed that aspect of Toby

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steelthroat · 2 months

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I am pretty responsible when it comes to money... someone could also use the word "stingy"

However:

Snacks

Little stupid but actually useful gadgets that ALSO look cool/nice

Museums/art related stuff

Make me act... unwisely

#and this is the reason i can NEVER go to Japan kids...#steel rambles #by the way this is the difference between living and surviving #if you want to survive you can spend as little as possible #but you still will find yourself paying a bit too much on things that costed less (once)#if you want to LIVE you will find yourself having to pay even more for things that 100% costed less once and shouldn't be so overpriced now #if you want to add something fun or more of a guilty pleasure well buckle up buckaroo your wallet is going to bleed...#some prices are fucking nuts btw #I'm talking about water bottles #like #dude #no.#hey udk what happened in these tags and what I'm yapping about #but yesterday and tonight my friends and i talked about politics and made some cool hypoteticals and had passionate (but respectful) debates #we finally reached a conclusion whennit was... 1 am i think?#and today i was going to start a rant about swimsuits and feminism after finally going to sea after 3 years...#so uh #this is the feeling I guess

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evilkitten3 · 4 months

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finally finished yttd! well, as much as has been released, i mean...

anyway here's one more good fuckhead moment

#your turn to die #ngl i ship q-taro and mai way more than i expected to #what is it with me and ships where one literally backstabs the other....???#anyway i'll admit that i cheated juuuust a bit to off hayasaka over mai #sorry buddy you just were not all that interesting to me #feel free to curse me in hell for real this time tho #anyway. so uh. where the actual fuck did mishima's head go #bc apparently nobody has it #miley maybe?????#also who the hell was not-hinako #i hope we find that out cuz i'm a little curious why some random kid (or. alleged kid) was willing to die for this #yttd spoilers #in the tags anyway #anyway i'm never not going to give midori mean names i think it's very funny

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dbphantom · 3 months

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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST

#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my #Art out again #Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story #Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan #God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT #Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD #I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY #THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out #Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry #We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful #So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone #Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to #NOTHING #God. Mm pisses me off dude #AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #Cruddy rambles #God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT #THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG #It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods #What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs #The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit #Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH #But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back #Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??

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thetimelordbatgirl · 9 months

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One of the many reasons I end up preferring the Ever After High books to the webisobes/specials a-lot: because its the only media to acknowledge the fucked up elephant in the room that is, "oh yeah, the parents of characters like Apple and Ashlynn are going to die because destiny calls for it."

#like you got snow crying in apple's room when kitty is randomly teleporting all over the place in her short story #likely because not only she misses apple #but legacy year means shes being reminded of how little time she has left with apple #before she has to die so apple can be snow white #while ashlynn in her story is confirmed to not like thinking about her moms predestined early death #since it obviously upsets her #and its just #imagine being a kid having to sign a destiny where your parent is required to die #and your parent is aware of this as well but both of you believe it has to be done because destiny #like the same books that quickly said 'uh im sure our fairytale will be whatever and destiny will find a way'#to raven asking wait wont she become apples stepmom #also just said 'oh yeah those parents have to die'

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quodekash · 2 years

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none of this is computing in my brain

how do none of these actors feel like the age that they are

their age is always too young and too old at the same time

like mark pakin is freaking 24

whereas ford arun is only 20???

and then freaking jimmy turns 29 this year

but fourth and gemini are only 18?????????

and drake is 22??? which feels WAY too young??

and prom is 19, which might seem fine, but id like to remind you that he was in bad buddy, which aired in 2021 and was probably filmed throughout 2020-2021, which means he wouldve been freAKING 16-17 ALL THROUGHOUT THE FILMING OF THAT AND HANGING OUT WITH FREAKING 20-YEAR-OLDS

love had to play ohm’s sister who was younger by about a year, and yet she’s actually only two months younger than ohm

MILK IS 26??

also yak’s actor was also in bad buddy, he played pran’s friend safe (which explains a lot, i kept wondering why i recognised yak, but i thought maybe he just had one of those faces. nope, turns out he was in bad buddy) and he’s mark’s age

SEA TURNS 24 THIS YEAR. JIMMY AND SEA HAVE A FIVE YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE

this entire thing is just mindblowing to me

also satang has the same birthday as one of my friends (19 nov) and winny has the same birthday as another one of my friends (12 nov) and fourth and ford have the same birthday (18 oct), just two years apart! so that’s pretty interesting

#people and aging and birthdays #my school president #my school president the series #bad buddy #bad buddy series #lmao i was looking through the lists i made to try and find more comparisons #and i was like 'oh hey someone from bad buddy shares a birthday with someone from vice versa'#and then i looked closer and realised they were both jimmy #by the way JIMMY IS FREAKING 28 HOW IS HE SO OLD #(compared to the rest of them i mean)#im not saying 28 is old #im just saying that there's about a 10 year age span between the oldest and youndest actors from these two shows #(not including side characters like kid patpran and junior and adult humans)#and yet most of the characters are around the same age-ish #at least in bad buddy the characters are only a year or two (maybe three) older than in msp #and yet jimmy is tEN YEARS OLDER THAN GEMINIFOURTH??#anyway uh. yeah. now you know #mark pakin #ford arun #jimmy jitaraphol #geminifourth #drake sattabut #prom theepakon #love pattranite #milk pansa #lotte thakorn #sea tawinan #satang kittiphop #winny thanawin #fourth nattawat

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vaguely-concerned · 10 days

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trying to look for a ttrpg group in spaces where I can't just go 'listen I want to play this shit in the tumblr fandom kind of model (gay subtext extremely welcome bordering on essential, mutual unhinged character psychoanalysis, we could create a novel of a backstory together to make this sadder, let's all play with our OC dolls together and also sometimes dice are rolled I guess)' and be readily understood and/or not be immediately side-eyed or denigrated for my inherent unavoidable tumblerinaness feels like such an annoying debuff to deal with on the quest. like I know my people exist out there but how do I express myself in the right way and wade through all the copious not-it (not for me) dynamics to find them!!!

#I feel like a weird kid in the playground trying to find someone who plays the same way as me all over again fhdksjfa #(and if/when I find them -- how the fuck to approach them)#turns out there are so many ways to play rpgs that do not appeal to me in the slightest #there are so many dimensions -- creative interpersonal gameplay-wise -- where you can severely not match with someone lmao #with half of the people I've come across it seems like it would be a struggle just to agree there should be a session 0 :')#but I know I KNOW this could be exactly my kind of fun with the right people it's a little maddening #(my group of friends when I was 12-13 was like... we were trying SO hard to play an rpg without having an rpg to play #some from first principles but with no guidelines to help us stuff #and it was one of my rare 'oh fuck. oh fuck yeah this could be it!!' social moments at that time lol. clearly something instinctive there)#I have been lurking around in a discord server on a more national/local level but I'm not gonna lie... a lot of The Good Old Boys shit #dominating the conversation there. I really don't think they mean to take all the oxygen out of the room for everyone else but uh #it's kind of just what happens. I have seen seen hour-long debates over definitions so esoteric and navel-gazing it would haunt your dreams #trying to wade through that to find the people who might vibe more with me seems... so exhausting and I don't know howww!!#the high masking autistic blues plays again

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kiwimetry · 13 days

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Casket of Souls review: Stressful.

I think it’s really funny though that they make Thero save Illia and then he passes out, but we don't find out about how they handle the remaining dozens of bottles. Like, I'm assuming Thero and Valerius team up to figure out which souls go with which sleeping patients, and Thero casts his magic circles to save as many as possible, or instructs other wizards on how to help, and we simply don't see it. But also, what if actually there was a time crunch and all those people died because Thero used up his energy to immediately save Illia?

#this book giving me the thesis that if a previously unmentioned child character suddenly gets a pov chapter in a lynn flewelling book.#they’re fucked #between the kids in this book and the plague kid in the Tamír Triad. sucks to be a destitute child about to be afflicted by magical ailments #Anyway this story did stress me out enough that I wanted to go find a summary of it to read. but the wiki doesn't have one #and neither does wikipedia. even though it does for the first 5 #my kindle did also suddenly decide to claim I'd also read it before. but while I'm willing to believe i read white road before but forgot #(due to it being effectively the second half of shadows return. so even though i had no memories of it.#i can't imagine i didn't want to follow up on what happened w sebrahn so I probably just read it at 3am and retained no memories)#i think the occasional moment of familiarity i felt towards this book was due to the amount of fantasy I've read in my life #and i will distrust my technology #all of this is very off topic except that i wanted to explain why i found this book so stressful which was: didn't know who would die or not #nightrunner series #cc #my thesis btw is that probably for the bottles w the final symbol inscribed #if you fed the liquid to the patient the soul belonged to they'd probably be fine right??#bc we know they can take in liquid and also like. uh. pretty direct way to get soul back. but I'm no drysian.

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ban-joey · 1 month

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man i just fucking figured out why my birthday is always such a struggle. can you guess. it starts with an A

#a day where uh oh people want to give me things and expect reactions and also people sing at me #and somehow as an adult i have to find a thing to do that is also for Other People #because that is the rule when you are a kid. we must invite all of your friends. to your Home.#i need to go walk around #the rules changed? the rules change. when you get older.#anyway. whatever. I was just thinking about booking this place again for my birthday and had a moment #like wow isn't it awful and selfish of me to want my birthday to be fun in exactly the way i want it to be fun? wait. who said that #god? fuck you. stab stab stab. anyway

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lets-all-calm-down-a-bit · 3 months

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i just saw the most toxic, bad faith all around reblog thread ever.

are we ok? can we be ok? lets just be ok.

#i dont like the word toxic cause its overused- especially in pop psychology shit. but thats the only word i think that could describe it #like the energy radiating off of it could rot your skin almost LMAO #it was about adults and kids in fandom spaces #the kids were all like “ermmm i dont feel COMFORTABLE having an ADULT in my safe space.... get out of fandom old creep....”#and the adults were all like “if your uncomfortable with us gtfo you dirty snot balls! haha i hate kids!"#and like.... in what way was any of that actually productive?#yeah the kids were wrong. they have no right to come into a space dominated/created by adults and be like “uh! ew adults! go away!”#but tbh anytime an adult is that hostile toward a kid- i take the kids side even if the kid is wrong #like i fully agree with the adults in the thread's point #but they were just making the kids hate them more???#and also reinforcing the cycle of “hating children”#which just furthers kids to end up being more uncomfortable with adults??? ending us up in the same spot we started at #if a kid says “i feel uncomfortable. this is what would fix it” but what they said would fix it is rediculous-#then you take them by the hand and say “i understand that you feel this way. lets find a different solution.”#it was just such a slop of unproductive fighting lmao #made my brain physically cringe away from the screen #colby rambles #fandom #fandom culture #fandom discourse

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thegeminisage · 3 months

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Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Relationship: Chris Argent/Derek Hale Characters: Chris Argent, Derek Hale, Kate Argent, Original Characters, Minor Characters, Araya (Teen Wolf) Additional Tags: Asexual Derek Hale, Stone Top Derek Hale, Wolf Derek Hale, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Lovers to Friends, Friends With Benefits, Age Difference, Explicit Consent, Cohabitation, Grief/Mourning, Beards (Facial Hair), Trauma, Nightmares, Flashbacks, Unreliable Narrator, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Underage, Sexual Dysfunction, Warning: Kate Argent, Minor Character Death, Blow Jobs, Grief Beards, Asexual Character Words: 55,331 Summary: Derek insists on coming along with Chris Argent and the Calaveras on the hunt for Kate, so he can see her dead for good. While following her trail back to Beacon Hills, they come to understand some hard truths about both each other and themselves, and struggle to find the reason why, after losing nearly everyone they've ever loved, they're still here.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Relationships: Chris Argent/Derek Hale, Derek Hale & Laura Hale Characters: Derek Hale, Laura Hale, Chris Argent Additional Tags: Wolf Derek Hale, Grief/Mourning, Codependency, Cohabitation Words: 2,278 Summary: Derek's first day back home.

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Relationships: Chris Argent/Derek Hale, Chris Argent & Scott McCall, Derek Hale & Scott McCall, Past Relationships:, Derek Hale/Paige, Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Chris Argent/Original Character(s), Chris Argent/Victoria Argent, Allison Argent & Derek Hale Characters: Chris Argent, Derek Hale, Scott McCall, Original Characters, Mentioned:, Kate Argent, Victoria Argent, Allison Argent, Gerard Argent Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Nightmares, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Panic Attacks, Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Memory Loss, Repressed Memories, Guilt, Redemption, Codependency, Cohabitation, Asexual Character, Asexual Derek Hale, Sexual Dysfunction, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Murder Words: 36,500 Summary: Twenty-four hours after the death of his sister, Chris Argent wakes in Derek Hale's loft with his hands trembling too badly to load and fire a gun, and no matter what he does, he can't make them stop. He made a promise to protect Beacon Hills in Allison's stead, but now he has to decide how he carries on her legacy when he doesn't know if he can fight, if he can ever lay his guilt to rest, and if he's truly capable of doing good when he has already done so much harm.

...i wrote this series in 2017/2018 as teen wolf was coming to a close, but i didn't post them here since i was a little shy about my rarepair and also they're Extremely Explicit and i had a lot of kids following me for skeleton art. since those kids are all grown up now (?!?!?), here these finally are, on this blog for the first time Ever. the first fic is the best one, obviously - it's almost a ship manifesto, and i am proud to report i have won over skeptics with it <3 derek hale i love you forever

#just uh. you know. mind the tags. mind the tags and i'm NOT kidding #man there's so much i'd change about the first one if i was doing it again #but honestly i don't think i COULD ever do something like this again #i churned it out in a month and a half and basically just did not sleep. it was like being possessed #like i'd stay awake until 10am and grab a 3-4hr nap and then start writing it again #so even though there are some areas that could use a bit of technical polish #i don't think that level of sheer passion and NEED to get it out of me could ever be like it was then #it's like dragon age ii in that way #raw and authentic and unpolished and that's for better AND worse #i kind of feel the same way about gambler's knife sometimes. my brain was just pushing it out so fucking fast #that i wasn't capable of seeing the little things i'd have tweaked on something i did slower #i did also find the list of ''post fic vignettes'' i had planned for this series #try 10 (TEN!) fully outlined mini-sequels. good grief. only 2-3 of them would have been shorter than steady hands #liz writes #liz makes stuff #bday srb spam #queue

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hecksupremechips · 5 months

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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

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