#if this doesn't spread I might still get a better idea about my friends!

[kiragecko]

I'm not American, but grew up in a country that is REALLY used to centering American opinions. I'd love to see how many people here are actually American, and how many are just accepting of a lot of American content.

Boundaries are fake, so most places show up at least twice. Choose the grouping that you connect with more.

[vienssunshine]

It's Too Much

pairing: Choso Kamo x fem!reader nsfw: dom!reader, inexperienced!Choso, premature ejaculation word count: 1.5k author's note: this idea took third place in the poll, but I was extra inspired to write this because of a tik tok my friend sent me. description: Choso has been touch-starved for so long, so when you touch him, it can be a lot, maybe even too much for him to handle

Choso has never felt another's body against his own that wasn’t attempting to hurt him. For all 150 years he’s been alive up until he met you, physical contact meant pain. But now, he’s beginning to learn that that isn't completely true.

There are similarities between a touch of pain versus…pleasantness might be the word—he hasn’t sorted it out completely yet—as a feeling lingers after contact. A strike leaves an aching bruise, the afflicted area reminding him of the injury whenever the slightest pressure is applied, but when you place a gentle hand on Choso’s shoulder while speaking to him, it leaves behind something entirely different. 

The best way he can describe the initial feeling is as a warmth, and not just due to the intrinsic heat from where your flesh meets his, but one that swells in his chest and spreads out to the rest of his body. After you leave, your touch doesn’t require a mark on his skin or a painful sting like a bruise needs to be remembered, rather, the outline of where your fingers laid on his shoulder simmers on his skin for the rest of the day. 

You fluster him with your casual touches–placing your hand on his forearm or leaning your head on his shoulder–but it helps him work up the courage to start acting on his own desires to feel you. He appreciates how you let him take his time as he explores the little things, like the feeling of holding your hand, intertwining his roughened fingers with yours. He looks up to your face, making sure what he's doing is okay, and you give him a gentle smile, telling him he's doing great. There is that warmth in his chest again. He realizes he likes the feeling of you praising him—a lot. 

Soon, he starts asking for more: to cup your cheeks, pet your hair. One day, he asks to hold your body against his on the bed, feeling your softness and warmth while working hard to regulate the influx of emotions your proximity inspires. Yet, it gets the better of him and he asks something that’s been on his mind for a while: if he can kiss you.

You accept, of course, and with your lips so soft and sweet, things quickly develop, escalating to the point where you are on top of him, straddling his big legs, and kissing down his bare chest to his waistband. He tries to keep still, but your lips feel so good and his hips betray that, gently thrusting up and into you.

“S-sorry,” Choso says, “I…I can’t control it.”

You look up from his chest. “It’s okay, Choso,” you say as you drag your hands down his abs to his waistband, deepening the pink dusted upon his cheeks, “It seems like you want more.” 

“Mhmm,” Choso whimpers, watching as you tuck your fingertips into his waistband and pull it down, freeing his sensitive erection.

Your hands wrap around his length and his eyes flutter closed in bliss. Being touched there is a new sensation for Choso and it’s stirring up a feeling he hasn’t had much experience with.

He thinks it’s arousal, which is, according to Mahito, what causes humans to “fuck.” But Mahito always spoke about fucking in a negative light, describing it as disgusting, primal thing humans do. That perspective doesn't make sense to Choso anymore because whatever you are igniting in him, if it is that aroused feeling Mahito described, feels so good he thinks he would die if you stopped. 

“Do you like this, Choso?” you ask as you stroke him. Hearing his name fall so sweetly from your lips sends a shiver through Choso’s body. 

“I-I do,” he says, moaning when you pay special attention to his pink tip, stimulating the sensitive area with your fingers in a tight circle. He’s been unconsciously bucking his hips up into your fist, chasing more of this unfamiliar sensation that has pressure to build up in his stomach.

“Then, would you like it if I put it inside of me?” 

He hadn’t considered that as a possibility, already so pleasure-drunk from feeling your palm against him, but there’s no way he can refuse your offer. 

“Yes. Yes—fuck—please do that.”

“Alright, Choso,” you say, getting off of him, “You just sit still, okay?” 

His breathy whine tells you that the last thing he wants to do is sit still. You smile, he looks so cute when he’s desperate.

“Just a little bit longer,” you say, intentionally moving slower than necessary just to see how long the poor curse can hold out.

He watches as you pull down your underwear, and the second you remove it, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you back on top of him. Then he’s pressing hot, sloppy kisses to your neck, devouring it like a man starved. His passion and intensity make up for his lack of experience, though you note he’s getting the hang of it.

Choso’s barrage of affection is halted by a surprised gasp when you grip his erection and align yourself with it. The hunger in your eyes reminds him of how out of his element he is, but he doesn’t let it scare him, rather, he lets it feed his desire of making you feel as good as he does. 

You hold the tip to your entrance and Choso’s breath hitches when he feels the wetness and warmth of your hole. Slowly, as to not overwhelm, you sink down on him, and he moans—sweet and unbridled—from the way your walls hug him. 

“I’ve—hah—never…felt something like this,” he says, eyes pressed closed, wrinkling the thin black mark running just underneath them. 

Your hands fall onto his built chest as you make it all the way down on him, driving the entirety of his long, slender dick deep within you. His hands fly to your hips when it happens, but then one grabs for your wrist on his chest, circling his fingers around it, needing you to help him through this new sensation. 

“Feels good?” you ask, your voice breathy.

“Feels s’good,” he says, “Too good.” He shifts around underneath you; the pressure he was feeling earlier when you were touching him is becoming inescapable, sweeping through his stomach like a vicious undercurrent. 

“I’m going to start moving now, 'kay?” you say. 

Choso nods but is woefully unprepared for when you begin to lift your hips up and down, pushing his length through your gummy walls. Your movements on top of the information already flooding his senses–your warm skin, rapid heartbeat, fluttering eyes—it's so overwhelming. His head falls back, and even though you’re going at such a slow pace, it feels like your walls are milking him, intent on making the tightness in his core snap.

Choso knows it’s too much for him, but watching your eyes close in pleasure and your fingers dig into the skin on his chest, it makes him want to keep going, to not cum just yet. But with the sight of you naked on top of him and the way your insides are squeezing him, not cumming is a near impossible task. He wants to do a good job for you, to hear you tell him that, but he's sure he won’t last. 

“Fuck, I’m s-ah-sorry,” Choso whines, “I can’t…if you keep moving, I can’t-“ 

“You’re gonna cum already, Choso?” you ask, a wickedness in your voice, “You feel that good?”

You’re teasing him, despite how you find your view beyond erotic: he’s a squirming mess underneath you, with his eyebrows pressed together, face flushed with warmth, and fingers tight around your wrist as he just fights the urge to cum.

“Yes—ngh—you feel s’good, s’good-I’m sorry,”—you feel his cock twitch inside you—“I can’t, I’m sorry, m’gonna-“

He groans, thrusting his hips up into you with a force that requires you to grab onto him to stay put, and empties his load deep inside you, sweet moans interspersed with apologies.

You’d be more disappointed in him for not lasting long, but with this being his first time in a while, you’re willing to forgive—especially after being treated to his endless, pretty noises.

When he comes down, you press a kiss on his cheek, “Too much, Choso?” you ask.

“I’m sorry, you just felt so good,” he says in between pants. His poor body is shaking, his chest is heaving, and a pink flush burns all over his pale skin. 

“It’s okay,” you say, “I enjoyed that.” Only, you wish you had been able to cum, too. Seeing him writhe underneath you has your cunt aching for attention.

He sits up, and you feel his cock move inside you. “Still, I wanted to last for you.”

“Sweet boy,” you say, pushing a few strands of dark hair out of his face, “You did great. I know it’s been a while since you’ve done anything like this.” 

He’s still pouting, but his frown turns into a smile when an idea hits him. He flips you over with ease—sometimes you forget how strong he is—and pulls out of you, keeping your legs open so he can bring his face down to your cunt, wetness mixed with his own cum seeping out of it. 

He presses a kiss to your inner thigh. “Let me make it up to you, I haven’t gotten to feel you on my tongue yet.” 

[peachypinkygloss]

Can you write about this: you and your bf Jungkook got a lil adventurous and decide to have a 3some (with his friend Taehyung) but during the moment Jungkook secretly wasn’t too happy about it seeing you with another man. And i trust your creative juices to add some more to the story (smut/angst)

I can absolutely write about that 😌 Are we vibing with jealous jk? 🤔 I think we are... Thank you for your request lovely 💜 and I hope you like it! xox

Plan à trois gone wrong

Jealousy is a bad flaw, Jungkook knows it, but was this threesome really a good idea?

⭐︎ pairing: dom!jungkook x sub/fem!reader (ft. taehyung)

⭐︎ genre: university au, established relationship, smut

⭐︎ word count: 4k

⭐︎ warnings: jk's very... vulgar 😳, jealous jk (it's really not secretive atp, I'm sorry), possessiveness, toxic relationship (or just toxic jk 👀), spanking, unprotected sex, praising and degradation, fingering, oral (m), it's nastyyy 🫣, don't insult jk or compare him to th (he's still my character and im susceptible ❤️).

a.n.: Don't trust me too much on the angst hehe... 😈 But I appreciate it. 🥹 Might be the most toxic thing I ever wrote lmaoo, but gosh, I'm kinda obsessed with it.

playing: SPIT IN MY FACE! & Romance

Jungkook is looking at you getting Taehyung's fingers in your insanely wet pussy, the smell of sex completely invading the room. His long fingers penetrate you as you are on all fours on the bed, ass in the air and face buried in a pillow.

The threesome was your idea and after a lot of begging and letting him fuck your face, he finally said yes. He chose Taehyung because he thought it would be best to do it with a friend. Now, he seems to enjoy this way more than him, shoving his fingers deep into you, curling them to hit your sensitive spot while you moan loudly.

He's smirking deviously, an arm around your waist to hold you up and Jungkook's wondering why he's enjoying this so much. Is this because he's fingering someone else's girlfriend as she cries in pleasure like a bitch? Or is it because he likes you?

The bulge in Jungkook's pants shows that what he sees is turning him on. Of course it does, he has to see you spread in front of him taking fingers like a slut. It's just the way you're moaning at his ministrations, as if he does it better, and it makes him a little... jealous.

You're taking his fingers so well, so compliant and submissive like a well behaved slut. It makes him hard, his cock pressing against the material of his briefs.

"Ah, shit! Tae..." You whine as you push your hips against his hand. "I'm gonna cum, fuck!" You yelp, your eyebrows furrowing and your mouth hanging open.

At that, Taehyung fastens the pace of his fingers, going in and out of your quivering hole while wet sounds can be heard. It's vulgar and literally pornographic how he holds you and shoves his digits knuckles deep into you, your boyfriend watching the whole scene.

"Stop it." Jungkook orders his friend and his movements halt, staying still inside of you. Taehyung looks at him curiously, wondering why he wants to stop this moment right now.

You cry in complaint, disliking being edged from your orgasm. Though, this order wasn't for you, so you move your hips back and forth, fucking yourself on Taehyung's slender fingers. This only infuriates Jungkook more.

His expression doesn't reassure Taehyung so he slowly pulls out his fingers out of your wet cunt, making you whine like a brat. Why do you have an attitude when he commands you? But when it's him, you obey like a cock hungry whore.

"She doesn't cum until I say so." Jungkook severely announces as he settles beside you on the bed, his knee sinking into the mattress.

Taehyung retrieves quietly, not daring to make a move that would anger his friend more. You, on the other hand, whimper and cry so fucking annoyingly that Jungkook just can't handle it. You have no business being that much upset when your boyfriend hasn't even touched you yet. You're so bad-mannered.

He slaps your cunt and your juices splash everywhere. You cry at the harsh hit you just received and look over your shoulder to see Jungkook frowning, the face he does when he's angry. "Stop crying or I'll make you shut up myself." You whine one last time, staring at him with a saddened expression, but Jungkook doesn't forgive so easily.

"Jungkook, I don't think-" Taehyung begins, but he's rapidly cut off by his friend.

"Wanna take Tae's cock in your greedy pussy, hm, baby?" Jungkook asks you, his voice filled with malice. He caresses your ass rather softly, something you shouldn't get tricked by. "Answer me." He emphasizes his command by slapping your ass cheek, your flesh bouncing from the loud smack.

Nor you or Taehyung knows if his question is a trap, so you don't know what to respond, afraid it'll be the wrong answer.

"I- I want yours, Kookie." The nickname is a way to get on his good side, Jungkook isn't dumb. If he wasn't threatening right now, he knows for a fact you'd have jumped on Taehyung's lap the second he asked the question.

But you said you wanted his dick, so that's what you're going to get.

"Hear that, Tae?" He raises his eyebrows, sending a smug smirk to the man on the other side of you. Normally, Taehyung would have retorted, but when Jungkook's upset, you don't want to bring him to his limits. "She prefers me."

You like Jungkook more, obviously. He's your boyfriend after all, isn't he? Then explain to him why he feels like it's not what you wanted. You lied just because you're scared of him or whatever. It's not like you're not turned on when you're being treated like a slut.

"Now, she's gonna suck your dick and I'ma fuck her." There's no debate possible and if he dares to contradict him, it won't end well. Why would he let his friend fuck his pussy?

No, Jungkook isn't jealous. He would've quite liked seeing you being split open by someone else, really. The idea is pretty nasty, but that's what gets Jungkook on. You being used for the pleasure of others. And, you, being the cock hungry slut that you are, love it.

There's only one thing that bothers him right now, though. What if you like Taehyung's cock more? What if Taehyung thinks you're his now? He can't risk that, he fucking can't. Jungkook will never admit it, but he's afraid you'll replace him with somebody else.

Taehyung undresses and settles down in front of you, his crotch directly in your face. Jungkook is quick to do the same, placing himself behind you instead. He slaps your butt again and you whine out, pretty much telling that he's ready and he won't wait any longer.

Taehyung strokes your hair with a disconcerting sweetness, passing his fingers through it and finally laying his hot palm against your cheek. He sends you a reassuring smile, looking down at you like you are one of the wonders of the world. You should return his smile, but you feel guilty, guilty of having this intimate connection with your boyfriend's best friend.

Luckily, Jungkook doesn't notice it. He swipes the tip of his cock through your wet folds, collecting your arousal and spreading it all over his throbbing erection. Meanwhile, you envelop Taehyung's base with your palm, bringing the mushroom head to your lips. You dart your tongue out of your mouth, flattening it against your chin.

Right as you're about to lick the underside of Taehyung's dick, Jungkook enters you without a warning, making you gasp and lean forward. You're then forced to take his cock into your mouth and you inevitably choke around it due to its long length, which makes Taehyung hiss.

"Dirty bitch." Jungkook mutters under his breath and smacks your ass. You cry around Taehyung, your mascara flowing down your cheeks.

He starts pounding into you vigorously and your pathetic moans are muffled by the intrusion of Taehyung's erect penis into your mouth. You're drooling on him like a dog, finally eating your treat after having waited for way too long.

Your ass jiggles each time Jungkook bottoms out, reaching deep into you. He's sure you can see the bulge in your tummy, moving at the pace of Jungkook's hips. It's something Taehyung will never experience. Well, not with you, that's for sure.

Jungkook grunts as his skin slaps against yours and wet sounds are coming from your pussy, echoing in the room. You gag around Taehyung and something snaps in Jungkook for some reason because the next thing he does is quite surprising.

He leans over you, his sweaty chest sticking to your back, and grabs your hair to make you take more of Taehyung's cock into you mouth. You literally choke around him, your drool now dripping down to his balls and down on the bed. A wave of heath goes between your legs from being used in such a disgusting way, your walls clenching around Jungkook's dick.

"Oh, fuck!" Taehyung curses and doesn't dare to touch you, leaving his arms on both sides of his body. Your nose is pressed against his pelvis and you hollow your cheeks, wanting to pleasure the two men with you so bad.

Jungkook pushes your head on him while still entering and exiting your hole at a regular pace. He seems so at ease as he goes hard on you and Taehyung wonders if sex between the both of you is always that... harsh. You seem to like it, though, which is reassuring Taehyung thinks. He wouldn't let a woman be treated this way, but he agreed to this threesome, didn't he?

Your boyfriend removes the pressure on your head, his hand going back to grip your hip. You then pull his cock out of your mouth rapidly, coughing and chasing for air. Nonetheless, you don't waste any time and run your palm up and down Taehyung's erection covered in your saliva.

"Isn't she a good girl, mh?" Jungkook leaves the trace of his hand on your ass again, smacking it and making you moan out loudly. His bangs are wet from his sweat, his eyebrows furrowed as he's concentrated on his thrusts.

You take Taehyung back into your mouth, your lips smoothly sliding down his length. You bob your head up and down like a pro on his cock and Taehyung has to admit it; you do it like a good girl.

"Yeah..." He agrees with Jungkook, looking down in awe at his dick disappearing and reappearing between your swollen lips.

"She'd do anything for your cock, even letting me make her choke on it." He makes sure you understand what he's saying by giving you a hard thrust that makes you lean toward his friend again. You whine around him and Taehyung can't get over the vibrations that go through his dick.

Your boobs are bouncing around on your chest as Jungkook's hips roll swiftly against yours and Taehyung can't help but grope them. You glance up at him at the contact and your pussy contracts around your boyfriend's cock despite your will not to. Jungkook moans at the grip your walls have on him and he wonders how your cunt can still be this tight while being so wet.

"Shame that you're not getting that pussy. Feels heavenly..." He says, panting. Technically, Taehyung should be able to fuck you, it's part of the deal, of the threesome, after all. But Taehyung's surely not in charge of the rules. "You still got that slutty mouth, though. It's great, isn't it?"

"Fucking great. Fuck." He's quick to answer, curling his toes as he feels the knot in his stomach tightening. He pats your hair, a little bit of affection amongst all the strong testosterone in the air.

"Yeah, I know. That mouth can do so much..." Jungkook rocks his hips against your jiggly ass, approaching his high. His dick brushes against your sensitive walls, hitting your magic spot perfectly and it brings you close to your orgasm as well.

You take Taehyung out of your mouth, licking your lips and stroking his wet erection to keep the moment going on. "Fuck, Kookie, I'm close!" You announce, looking over your shoulder to get a glimpse of Jungkook.

He grits his teeth, lowering his gaze down at you, looking into your glossy eyes. "I'm aware, you're sucking me in like crazy." He spanks your ass - again - and he knows you won't be able to sit properly the next day. "Your job's not finished." He tilts his chin toward Taehyung, commanding you to put his cock back into your mouth.

You take the head back into the warmth of your mouth, eliciting a sweet moan from Taehyung. He places a hand on the back of your head, gripping at your hair, but he doesn't push or force you down on him.

You can't refrain yourself from moaning and whining around Taehyung's erection as Jungkook fucks you mercilessly, never missing your sweet spot. You want to please them so bad, but you can't keep Taehyung in your mouth anymore. You pull him out and fall on his lap, letting your boyfriend use your pussy however he desires.

"Oh, my God! Kookie!" You cry his name as spasms take over your body, your hole quivering repeatedly around his cock. You come undone under Jungkook, your sweaty face pressed up against one of Taehyung's thighs.

You cream Jungkook's dick and a coat of your cum circles the base. As he goes in and out of you, not caring if you're too sensitive after your orgasm, vulgar sounds come out of your pussy. He pushes your juices around in you, covering his meaty length in your natural fluids.

"Fuck, fuck! Jungkook, please!" It's like he doesn't hear you or he's just ignoring your pleas.

In reality, Jungkook likes to see you like this, brainless and broken under his larger body. He has control over you, which nobody could ever take from him, not even you.

Your tears fall down on Taehyung's thigh, but you suffer through the overstimulation and turn your head around. You grasp Taehyung's cock with a shaky hand and direct the tip between your parted lips. It's nothing you've never experienced before, you don't have to be all that dramatic, Jungkook thinks. He bets you're enjoying everything and he's proven right when you gladly bounce your head around his friend's cock and moan around it.

"Good girl, continue like that." He smacks your butt and keeps his pace going, his erection twitching angrily into the mess that is your pussy when you take more of Taehyung into your mouth at the praise.

"Ah, shit." Taehyung groans and you feel the weight of his erection against your tongue, throbbing as you bob your head faster. "Fuck, gonna cum, sweetheart." The corners of your lips lift up at the use of the nickname, looking up to meet his hooded eyes.

Jungkook catches that, though and he immediately wants to break this proximity that you share with his best friend. "Cum on her face, she loves that." He stops his hips movements, glancing at Taehyung to have his answer.

"Oh, yeah." He grunts and pushes your head up by your hair, his cock falling out of your mouth and bouncing up on his stomach.

Jungkook pulls out of you and you fall down on the mattress when both men are not near you anymore. You whimper a little from the emptiness that your boyfriend left you in, but you still slowly turn yourself around to lay on your back.

Taehyung kneels beside your head, his cock in his hand. "Is this okay with you?" He asks you and you blink in his direction, processing what he just said.

Jungkook wants to roll his eyes at this. "Of course it is. My baby's just a cumslut after all, mh?" He looks down at you, giving you a slight spank on your thigh.

Your eyes flick between Taehyung and Jungkook and you look totally braindead. "Uh-huh." You nod, nonetheless. "Ah! Koo..." You squeak when he penetrates you again, sliding all the way in until his pelvis touches your clit.

Taehyung starts stroking his cock over your face and you can't help but clench your walls around Jungkook at the view he's offering. You stick your tongue out and prepare yourself to be painted in Taehyung's cum. His biceps tense up and his abs flex as his orgasm is approaching, heath building up at the pitch of his stomach.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He angles his tip down toward your face and you blink quickly as long ropes of white cum land on your heated cheeks and tongue. He fucks his fist as he milks himself dry, little droplets of cum falling on you.

Your face is now painted in his seeds and Jungkook didn't think he would like it so much to see you in that position. The hotness of the situation combined with the clenching of your walls around him brings him to his climax.

As Taehyung sits back against the headboard, Jungkook slips out of you rapidly and grips his cock tightly. His eyebrows are pinched together, giving him this severe look as he runs his palm up and down his pulsating dick.

"Shit!" He throws his head back and he shoots his cum on your belly, making you moan with him. He marks your body like Taehyung previously did on your face and a groan leaves his throat. He fucks himself dry, sitting down on his heels.

The heavy smell of sex hits him again, every single person in the room is panting and catching their breath. Jungkook looks at you then at his best friend and he wonders... was this worth it?

Why are you with him? Is that what all it takes? A threesome and now you're fucking besties. Or was there something before? Fuck this shit.

Jungkook heads toward you and Taehyung, chatting mindlessly in the university's cafeteria. His tattooed hand holds the strand of his backpack on his shoulder and he clenches his jaw when he sees him laughing, leaning closer toward you. You giggle, and fuck, he wants to smash his head against the table underneath him.

He fucked your mouth and now he thinks he can have you? You and your pretty laugh? You're his, you're Jungkook's.

"We're having fun as I see?" He sends a fake smile to his friend, Taehyung's eyebrows raising up in surprise. Jungkook leans down beside you, his palm flat against the surface of the table, the other tightening around the strap of his bag.

You look up at him and your gaze could break him into a hundred pieces right away. You seem disappointed, annoyed that Jungkook interrupted your little conversation with his best friend.

"Jungkook, please." You beg him, but not to fuck you, not to finger you and give you the best orgasm ever. You beg him to leave.

His nostrils flare in anger, his dark orbs focused on you. You look away and you shiver uncomfortably, swallowing as you stare ahead of you.

"Don't be mad-"

"Shut the fuck up, Taehyung." Jungkook responds sharply to Taehyung, but keeps his gaze on you. You know your place, that's why you're cowering now. "You fucked my bitch and now you think you can tell me what to do? Get lost and don't come near her again."

Saying Taehyung he's baffled would be an understatement. He thought everything was fine after yesterday night. Jungkook was okay, he told him so. What's up with him?

"And you," you turn your head toward your boyfriend as he's talking to you, "come with me." He grasps your bicep and pulls you up from your seat. Taehyung doesn't dare to say anything and lets Jungkook take you away.

He takes you to the bathrooms, completely empty as it's early in the morning. He shoves you in, letting the door close behind him. You look as angry as him, your mouth sealed shut and your eyebrows furrowed.

"Didn't you have enough? You have to turn around him like a fucking dog in heat?" He knows he's harsh, but how can he be calm when the only thing he hears right now is his heartbeat thundering in his rib cage? "You're mad I didn't give you his dick, is that why? Is that why, baby?"

He steps closer to you and you back away, your back hitting the counter. You're trapped and you can't get away from him, not anymore, not a second time.

"You don't know a thing, Jungkook." His name comes out like venom from your mouth, the name you're used to moan loudly when he fucks you dumb. You cross your arms over your chest, accentuating the swell of your breasts.

He scoffs, pushing the inside of his cheek with his tongue. He smiles arrogantly, making you feel so, so stupid and inferior. "I know everything about you, baby. You're my girlfriend, after all, aren't you?" He specifies when he doesn't really need to, but he has to put you in your place. "Because guess what... No fucking guy would want a girl as crazy as you, except me. And still, you're ungrateful."

You bite down on your lip to hold in your tears because you know he's right. You know he's the only one that would ever understand you. The single and only man on the planet that can satisfy you. And yet, you want to ruin your relationship, destroy him for a guy as meaningless as Taehyung.

"Grateful for what? You're the one acting crazy over nothing! Jealous for no reason." You turn your head away, avoiding his piercing gaze.

He purses his lips and shakes his head slightly from side to side, looking disappointed in you. He cups your chin rather gently, holding it in place so you can look at him in the eyes. "I'm not fucking jealous. Do I look jealous to you?" You don't respond because yes, yes he is jealous. And you're going to tell him why he is. "He fucked you, didn't he?" He murmurs, almost afraid of his own words. He doesn't want to know the answer, but he has to at the same time.

Your eyes widen and your mouth hangs open, offended. "How dare you accuse me of cheating!?" You snatch his arm away from your face, pulling your own up, ready to smack him in the face.

But you stop yourself, Jungkook's eyes freezing you on the spot. Your tears finally fall out of your eyes, beautiful pearls wetting your cheeks. Your palm retracts into a fist, arm trembling as you break apart in front of an unfazed Jungkook or that's only the image he gives you.

He closes the gap between you two and his tattooed hand takes a hold of your wrist, bringing it down. He sticks his forehead to your own, staring down at your glossy and reddened eyes. You shut your eyelids, feeling his hot breath fans across your face.

"Slap me, hit me as hard as you want. You know it won't change me, baby." He tells you in his husky voice, making you shudder. You pull on your arm, to free you or to do exactly what he said, but he doesn't let you to. He keeps you against him, barely giving you space to breathe.

"Let me go, Jungkook." You say, but this is a request he'll never agree to. Let you go? And for what reason? You're his, don't you remember?

Jungkook grits his teeth and exhales heavily. "You want to blame me for loving you?" His voice is severe, filled with bitterness. "Go ahead, fucking break me!" He hits the counter beside you violently, making you jump. You cry even more, but he's the one truly hurt here.

"Stop it!" You scream, pulling harder on your wrist. Jungkook backs away, but doesn't let go of your arm. It's going to be sore by tomorrow. His own eyes are watering, tears threatening to fall. "Whatever you think I've done, it's not true. You're delusional and insane." You spit at him and he can't believe it.

He shakes his head again, but this time it's because he's not accepting it. When did your relationship start to fall apart? How did he not notice it?

"Don't lie to me." He warns you, though the lies have already been told. "Taehyung, he... he doesn't know how to please you. You know it, you're only happy with me." You wonder if he's trying to convince you or rather himself.

You narrow your eyes at him, disgust - maybe resentment - passing through your beautiful, once joyful eyes. Your mouth stays shut and it pains him more to hear you say nothing than arguing back with him. It's like you're giving up, because at this point, why would you need to reason with him?

The door of the bathroom opens, cutting your fight short. Someone enters, going to a stall. You keep staring into each other's eyes before you walk away, bumping into his shoulder.

Maybe you had something with his best friend, maybe you didn't. Perhaps you're going back to him right now, giving him the kiss that was destined to Jungkook. He'll never know and it's better this way.

[ikranwings]

Miles quaritch , Lyle Wainfleet and Tsu'tey kinks

Two kinks listed per character

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

A little present for my friends @tarrynightss @villiansimpqueen @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @nin3kyuu @milknhonies @xandy-toady

this kind of happened lol so i hope you enjoy. This is also a gift to al my followers!and feedback is much appreciated!! i would love to see yall in my ask box. Weather it just be requests or just comments and such in general!

BREEDING KINK

-you can't tell me this man doesn't have a breeding kink, you just can't. This man thoroughly enjoys seeing seeing his so fucked out and breed.

he loves the thought of filling you with his seed, staying seated within you just to ensure none of it leaks out. Pressing kisses to his mates temple while speaking words of praise. Telling them how good they did for him.

Other times he enjoys pushing his cum back into his mates dripping cunt with his fingers. On top of that it means he can try and coax another orgasm out of them. Watching his SO beg for another release by his hands really just builds his ego.

Cock warming is another kink of his however he enjoys using it as another way to try and ensure yet again that nothing is to leak from his lovers body. SCENTING

he will not let his SO leave the room without smelling like him. He wants everyone to know who they belong to, who they were with when they weren't in others presence.

he doesn't want anyone getting any ideas of claiming his SO as there or even just getting to close. If they smell like him others will know not to fuck around.

When his mate where to shower wearing his shirt after would suffice for a little while. It still ensured his smell lingered on them, subtle or not his mate wearing his clothes gets something stirring in him.

in the more dirty side of things not only dose he enjoy the breeding side of sex with his mate but also being able to smear his cum along his mates belly. Anything that’s leaked out the man uses it in order to spread his scent along their stomach. Even when cleaned up that scent lingers for quite some time at least for him and the other recoms.

SIZE KINK

Lyle has a massive size kink, his mate is smaller than him no doubt. He’s protective of them to, refuses to let any harm come to them in any way shape or form.

He loves being able to encompass his mate with his body, caging them in between his arms as he slowly thrusts his hips into their body. Dipping his head into the crook of their neck. The man can't help but groan into their ear. Ensuring they knew just how good they were for him. " Youre doing so good for me baby, taking me so well. " "Look how well you stretch for me, so beautiful.. "

stomach bulge, lyle goes feral being able to see his own dick bulge within his lover. The man might even go so far as to press down on his mates stomach in order to draw out moans form and pleasured whimpers from them. Only he can draw this sort of thing from his mate and it makes him go absolutely nuts.

Lyles hand encompasses his mates there's no doubt about that. Not only dose he enjoy comparing that difference he also enjoys teasing his SO with his fingers. Using it as a means to prepare his mate for him. However not before he draws out an orgasm or two from his lover as he simply enjoys watching them squirm below him. He is such a tease and he knows it, it fills him with pride knowing only he can do this to his SO.

SHOWER SEX/BATHTUB SEX

He loves how intimate these times with his mate can be. How close it brings him and his mate together. For him it not just about the sex. He wants to show his SO just how attentive and caring he can be towards them. He basically just wants to worship them. Outside of the shower he may be a little rough so he makes up for it here.

Lyle loves getting down on his knees before his mate, pleasing them is something he gets off on. What better way to do that than in the shower with them. One of their legs over his shoulder, his mates hands at the back of his head trying to pull him in closer between their legs. Sometimes letting out a soft hum as the water cascades over the both of them. This man loves it when his mate can't control the little bucks of their hips over his tounge.

Lyle for sure has a non-slip shower mat in the bottom of the tub, he wants to ensure that while they're having fun the love of his life is not in danger of slipping and falling on his watch. Despite it being there he's still careful, ensuring that he has some sort of hold on them or at the very least in arm's length so he can keep them from crumpling to the ground. Like when he's entirely over worked their body and their legs become like jelly after a session.

while shower sex is fun sometimes, he likes to fill the tub with water and just thoroughly enjoy a bath with them. That being said it doesn't always last as long as the both of them would like as ninety percent of the time it ends up with his mate straddling his hips as they ride him. Water threatening to tip over the edge of the tub and onto the floor.

OUTDOOR SEX

Hes not one for public sex but there is no stopping him from leading you out into the forest of pandora and having his way with his mate on a bed of moss. Something the two of you(his mate ) have previously discussed and really quite enjoyed the thought of being away from everyone in order to just thoroughly enjoy the company of just his mate with no interruptions.

Tsu'tey loves to pin his mates hands either above their head or on either side of them pressed into the soft plush ground beneath them. Rutting his hips into his mate just thoroughly lost in the throws of pleasure. No one can bother them here, no one can ask him about training or ask that he help the other warriors in something. Its just him and his mate with no distractions. Hes fully able to focus on nothing else but his lover and he quite enjoys that very much.

He also likes the fact that in the forest there really is no limitations of where he can have his mate. Hes practically had sex just about anywhere with them. Up against the tree, in the river where the water isn't running so fast. The sky's the limit really. No really the sky is a limit, he won't put his mate in danger by doing something so foolish as to having sex up in the air or on his Ikran. It's not something he's comfortable with and probably never will be.

He especially likes to go out towards eclipse, when the only light left out there is the bioluminescence of the forest. The low light of the plants around him and his mate is something he enjoys because it brings him into a focus. Its like a tunnel vision, he is at utter peace listening to his mate moan and cry out below him. Its all for him as well and he wouldn't have it any other way. Often times(you ) his mate will hear words of praise as he thrusts into them. Complimenting them on how well they're taking him. How beautiful they look below him. Oh how he wishes moments like these will never end.

ORGASM CONTROL/EDGING

Tsu'tey from time to time enjoys bringing his mate to the very edge of bliss and taking it away right at the last second. Seeing his lover cry out for him in frustration and need just really gets him going he can't help it. To have someone fully reliant on him in order to achieve an orgasm makes him feel wanted, needed even.

He loves to lay his mate over his legs so he can sit up and work his fingers along their body. Pressing his fingers into their wet heat an thrusting slowly at first before increasing his pace in order to start a steady rhythm. Curling his fingers in order to draw out all those pretty moans he loves so much. Stopping and starting over and over and over again, drawing them to the brink of release only for it to fall away from them like a ton of bricks. Only to be met with the sound of this man is fully amused chuckle.

If he's fully sheathed within his mate he preferers to take them from behind when trying to take control of exactly when he wants to allow his mate that state of exstacy. Threading his arm along the front of his lover, sliding slowly down their belly and to their clit. Massaging their clit as he thrusts himself upwards into their body. His other arm hooked around his SOs elbows in order to draw them back perfectly against him.

Once he dose allow his mate that sweet release of their orgasm Tsu'tey enjoys watching them come undone. Watching as their body shakes before him. The entire time he cradles them close, brushing their hair away from their face and carding through the strands as he speaks to them. " Ive got you yawne, you did so well for me" " So perfect, just rest now. Ive got you, im here. Ill never leave."

I plan on possibly doing some of these for Ja, mansk jake and maybe brown..., Let me know if yall would like that to! <3

[charincharge]

I Don't Want To Wait, sixty-seven

rowaelin high school bff au masterlist

AN: WHOOPS, I disappeared for two years. (Legit the last chapter was posted in May 2022!). But I’m back and have written… a lot of the rest of this fic, so we’re just going to post weekly (or even twice weekly!) until we’re finished. And I hope you’re still out there, anyone, to enjoy it. Quick recap for a previously on IDWTW. Aelin and Rowan had sex! It was great. Then they walked in on Rhoe and her dance teacher Petrah having sex, which was NOT great. Aelin never wants to go back to dance again. We returned to school. Senior second semester is going great. Busy for Aelin, who is still trying to work her butt off re: APs and grades. Less busy for Rowan, who is already recruited to college for lacrosse. Aelin and Lys had a huge falling out, but have slowly rekindled their friendship now that Lys is sober and working on her shit. Elide and Manon came out! They’re running as homecoming queens! Dorian and Chaol haven’t DTRed and are taking a break. Last we left off, Aelin texted someone to help retrieve her lacrosse hoodie from the dance studio after hours. But who? Keep reading to find out. Also, I have been gone for so long that I have NO idea who is still in the fandom or reading Rowaelin fic. Please reblog to spread the word! Taglist doesn't seem to possible anymore, so please share! Love you all and missed you all. Comment, message, meme, gif, whatever. Let’s go, team.

Aelin watched with wide eyes as Lys lowered into a crouch and removed a bobby pin from her hair. When she’d texted her friend to help with her mission, she hadn’t realized that Lysandra was a bona-fide expert at breaking and entering. 

“It got boring in rehab,” Lys said with a small shrug, as if that explained her masterful lock-picking.

“Good to know,” Aelin said, chewing her thumb nervous and glancing over her shoulder at Rowan, who waited patiently in the jeep — aka, their getaway car. She didn’t think they’d actually need one, but this whole thing was such a thing, she figured it was probably safest to have a getaway car. What if the cops were called about the break-in, and they had to run? 

Aelin almost chuckled at the thought of Orynth’s elderly Police Chief trying to run after them, but it hadn’t stopped her from telling Lys to dress all in black and meet them at the dance studio at eight. Luckily, Rhoe was at the station overnight, so he couldn’t see their ridiculous antics. But, after all, this mission was serious. She tried to refocus on Lys, who was finagling with a pin in the lock, taking her sweet time. A rush of panic ran through Aelin. What if they got caught? What if this got put on her permanent record? What if they got arrested?

BZZZZ. Aelin’s phone vibrated in her hand, making her jump with surprise. 

“Gods,” she muttered under her breath, causing Lys to chuckle under her breath.

“Tell your buzzard not to worry, we’re almost there,” she said, twisting the pin again in a different direction. Aelin sighed at the reassurance. She knew that Rowan had to be feeling her nerves as well. Although maybe not quite as much. She wasn’t usually concerned about being a rule follower, but every step of the way had made her feel more and more stressed out. Which might have to do more with her overbearing boyfriend watching their every move than anything else. Couldn’t he just sit there and look cute and not worry? She looked at his text and shook her head. She should have known it’d be impossible. He was the biggest worry wart of them all.

Are you sure no one’s in the studio? It looks like the lights are on upstairs. Rowan texted from the front seat, his view of the studio probably better than theirs. But Aelin had spent too many years of her life at this studio. Despite her churning stomach, she knew they were fine.

Last class ended an hour ago. They always leave the lights on for the cleaning staff, but they get Fridays off, so they’re on until Saturday morning. It was part of my class schedule to turn the lights off. We’re good.

She looked over her shoulder after sending the text, and watched as Rowan threw a thumbs up in her direction. She couldn’t help but laugh at how silly he looked in his oversized black hoodie with the hood up. Despite completely disapproving of her decision, he showed up ready for the assignment at hand. 

“Tadaaa,” Lys sang out quietly as the lock clicked open, the door popping ajar. 

“Honestly, when I asked you to help me break into the dance studio, I figured we’d be throwing a rock into a window or something,” Aelin whispered, even though there was absolutely no reason to whisper at all. Aelin had timed it purposefully, so she wouldn’t have to run into … anyone. Okay, she really didn’t want to have to talk to Petrah. She’d avoided the studio (and Petrah) for so many weeks following the revelation that she’d been involved with her dad, and she had no intention of breaking that now. So, they’d had no choice but to break into the studio under the cover of darkness.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Lys said. “The door upstairs has a lock, too, right?” 

Aelin nodded. Annoyingly, there were three doors they had to break open — the building door, the door to the second floor, and then the dance studio entrance. Thank god Aelin had her locker key, so that wasn’t a worry.

“So, why are we doing this again?” Lys asked as they trudged up the long stairwell to the second floor. She tried not to flinch as the rubber-covered stairs squeaked beneath her shoes. “Not that I’m not happy to help,” she continued. “I just thought that you started dancing again and loved it?”

“Ugh,” Aelin groaned. “I did.” Aelin paused for a beat too long, causing Lys to flip her dark curls over her shoulder to get a better look at Aelin. 

“But?”

“It’s…complicated,” Aelin sighed as Lys crouched down in front of the second floor door.

“Well, this is going to take a minute,” Lys laughed. “Tell me.” Aelin was going to refute again when Lys’s voice changed, softer. “Unless you don’t want to…”

Aelin nearly smacked herself. She’d thought this would be a ridiculous, fun (and pretty low-stakes) way to hang out with Lys again, and here she was totally ruining it by keeping things to herself again.

“No, it’s not like that,” Aelin reassured her as she continued to work on the lock. “It’s just… horrifying.”

“Well now you can’t not tell me,” Lys snickered, but Aelin recognized the slight trepidation in her friend’s green eyes. Still nervous to push things. Aelin bit the bullet and let it out in a whoosh.

“Oh my GOD.” Lys’s nose crinkled, and she fell to her knees completely as her shoulders shook with laughter as Aelin told her story. “I mean, we all knew Rhoe fucked,” Lys cackled, causing Aelin to smack her friend’s knee. 

“EW! That is my dad,” she said, fake heaving.

“He’s a hot, hot firefighter daddy, though,” Lys said, her eyebrows wiggling.

“I swear to god I will vomit straight on you.”

Aelin tried to be serious, but Lysandra’s smile pushed them both over the edge into a fit of giggles. They laughed and laughed, releasing the tension that had been hovering around them like a thick blanket all night, officially removing all traces of formality. Unable to help herself, Aelin reached out for her friend’s hand, squeezing her fingers gently and was relieved as Lys squeezed back. They weren’t healed, per se, but they were healing, and that was the most that Aelin could really ask for right now.

Taking a breath and wiping the remnant tracks of tears from her cheeks, Lys pushed herself back up to her knees. “Second lock?”

“Speaking of my family…” Aelin started nervously, but forged on, curious. “How’s Aedion doing?” 

To her credit, Lys didn’t even lose pace as she unlocked the next door with ease.

“I know you want me to reply with something equally scandalous, but there’s nothing going on between me and Aedion,” Lys replied succinctly. “We’re friends.”

“Okay,” Aelin said, not completely convinced, but chose to respect her boundaries and believe her words. 

The pair fell into an awkward silence as they headed down the hall toward the studio door. Just one last lock to get through — and then she’d never have to return to this place. A part of her heart panged at that thought, that she’d be leaving Orynth and this studio behind and not really getting to say goodbye to it. But running into Petrah was NOT an option.

“Hey, isn’t this the studio?” Lys asked of a propped open door, a gentle music wafting from inside. Aelin’s stomach sank. Had someone stayed late tonight practicing? It was a plus that they wouldn’t have to break into yet another door, but she really didn’t want to risk running into anyone. “I thought you said it was closed.”

At the same time, the pair noticed the schedule on the door, showing the company’s new rehearsal schedule. Their rehearsals now went until nine on Friday night, meaning that Aelin had shown up in the middle of a packed studio, instead of an empty one. And one where Petrah would surely be. She contemplated turning right around, but Lys had already opened the door too far, leading them into the studio lobby where the company was on break, milling around and refilling their water bottles.

And at the front desk, Petrah’s eyes widened with surprise upon seeing her. “Aelin!”

She should have guessed breaking in had been too easy. Had the doors even been locked? She knew Lysandra had gotten through them too quickly! Grumbling, she stepped out of the shadow and into the lobby toward Petrah. She couldn’t run away anymore, so she had no choice but to say hello to the woman who she’d been studiously avoiding for weeks. And by the look on Petrah’s face, she knew it, too.

“I’ll go grab your jersey,” Lys whispered, leaving her to fend for herself. “See you downstairs!”

“Traitor,” Aelin mumbled under her breath as Lysandra all but ran into the locker room, excusing herself from the awkward conversation that surely lay ahead. She wanted to run, but her feet were stuck, watching Petrah approach nervously.

“Aelin,” she said again, taking a deep breath. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you….” But Aelin cut her off.

“I don’t want to talk about it!” she said, ready to slap her hands over her ears, lest Petrah talk about her dad in any less than completely formal way.

Petrah’s deep pink lips curled up on one side in amusement, but Aelin watched as she took another deep breath and shook off whatever she’d been about to say. Instead, she watched as her smile fell into a wistful expression. “We’ve missed seeing you around here,” Petrah said.

Aelin’s eyes shot to the open doorway of the studio where the company practiced, all jetes and pirouettes and well-supported port de bras. She had missed dancing. She really had just gotten back into it when she let it fall away. Petrah must have seen her expression because she smiled faintly and let her delicate hand fall to Aelin’s shoulder.

“You could join the class. Dance it out,” Petrah suggested.

Aelin couldn’t tear her eyes away from the dancers. She watched the emotion pour from them. That is what she needed. But as Lysandra held up her jersey and trailed down the stairs in the periphery of her vision, Aelin shook her head.

“I can’t tonight.”

“I understand that it might be strange to spend time with me after what you overheard…” Petrah trailed off as blood pooled in her cheeks, filling her usual pale complexion with a deep blush. “It was completely casual. It’s only happened a handful of times, and we both know it’s not serious. I’m not trying to replace your mother, or anything like that, it’s just… an occasional stress release, and oh my god, I am sorry I didn’t mean to say any of that.” Aelin cringed at the words. She wanted to stop Petrah, but the woman couldn’t be stopped even if she wanted to. “Please don’t give up dance because of this,” Petrah pleaded. “You have such a gift, Aelin, and I would be filled with regret for the rest of my life if I knew I was the cause of you walking away from it.”

Aelin took a breath, the comforting scent of chalk and worn leather infiltrating her senses and calming her down as she figured out what to reply to Petrah. Of course she wanted to dance still. It was undeniable, the way her body pulled her toward the studio, the way a sense of calm settled through her despite her initial discomfort upon seeing Petrah. She thought about her lack of free time and her constantly building stress as the semester went on and how badly she wished she could just dance it out. That release of emotion centered her, and she knew that she was feeling off kilter without it. Making time for dance had improved her life drastically — it'd kept her sane as the rest of her semester spiraled out of control — and she wanted it back. So, so badly.

She was on the verge of agreeing to join the practice when there was a crash and loud shriek from the studio. When the shriek morphed into a choked sob, a churning nausea overwhelmed Aelin. She watched as Petrah’s face morphed into one of horror as she sprinted into the studio. Sure enough, one of the dancers was on the floor, cradling her ankle, cheeks red and involuntary tears dripping down her skin, while another dancer attempted to help her stand. The girl hissed, crying out in pain and sat down again.

“Call an ambulance,” someone ordered, and suddenly there was a frenzy, a rush of dancers looking on in terror at the injury in front of them. Aelin stood with her back against the wall, not wanting to be in the way, slinking out of sight while so much was going on. It felt like a sign from the universe that Aelin shouldn’t even think about wasting her time with dancing. Like the gods warned her that she had way too much going on to even consider it.

With Petrah distracted, Aelin slipped out, trying to gain control of her waging feelings. She slid into the backseat next to Lys, her mind reeling and unable to get the image of the crying dancer out of her head. So caught up in her own thoughts, she didn’t even hear Rowan call out to her, until red and blue flashed behind them. He swung his head over her shoulder, his mouth agape in horror as he stared at his unusually quiet girlfriend.

“Ace, what did you do? Are those the cops?!”

Aelin shook her head, the horrible feeling of nausea persisting in her gut as Rowan drove away from the studio.

. . .

It had been days since Aelin had received a text from an unknown number, and she still hadn’t decided what she was going to do.

I thought you should know we’re holding an emergency dance company audition this Tuesday at 5pm. Please come, Aelin.

Aelin chewed her sandwich thoughtfully as she pulled up the text again. The audition was merely hours away, but she was still on the fence.

“You still haven’t made up your mind?” Lysandra asked, glancing at Aelin’s phone screen. Her former — maybe current — friend had started joining them at the lunch table in the last few days since their late night break in, continuing to heal and thaw what had broken between them.

“I keep telling her to pro con list,” Rowan said, letting his fingers trail across the back of her neck and kneading the tight muscles there with his strong grasp.

“Mmmm,” Aelin mumbled, leaning further into his touch. “Con. Time spent without you.”

“Pro, something to do while I’m at lacrosse practice,” he countered as his fingers massaged a particularly tender part of her neck. She angled her head so he could have better access, but he took it as an invitation to let his head drop to her bare skin and press his lips against it, causing her body to light up. As she leaned toward him with another light moan, Dorian slammed his tray down on the table with a loud thwack.

“Get a room or get outta here,” he complained, tossing a fry at the still-intertwined pair.

“Someone’s got their panties in a bunch,” Aelin laughed as she tossed the fry back at the offender.

“My panties are perfectly smooth, thank you very much,” Dorian quipped. “Some of us would just prefer not to bear witness to your foreplay.”

“Pro,” Rowan whispered into Aelin’s ear, his lips ghosting against the tickling skin there. “I really love watching you dance.”

“Pro,” Aelin whispered back. “Increased stamina, muscle strength, and flexibility.”

Aelin glanced up at Rowan, who was already staring back at her with a fiery intensity. Her eyes glanced down at his mouth, which was curled into a satisfied smirk. His throat bobbed with a slow swallow, surely thinking of all the way those fitness benefits could be put to good use. She leaned in slightly, her lips a hairs breadth away from his when another fry hit her cheek. Aelin whipped her head around, rubbing at the salty spot where the food had made contact with her face.

Dorian was the picture of innocence, eyes wide as he chewed his own fry.

“Con,” Lys interjected. “Increased horniness.”

“Literally didn’t think that was possible,” Dorian said with a snort. “So, what are we pro-conning?” he asked, popping another fry into his mouth.

“Orynth Dance Company is having an emergency audition after an injury, and Aelin was personally invited to try out,” Lysandra explained.

“But I don’t really have the time,” Aelin started. “It would require actual rehearsal time. Like, a lot of nights. Not just an hour long class. Plus, I’d have to see Petrah every day. And I have to knock this last semester’s grades out of the park if I want to even think about getting a scholarship anywhere, plus I have a million AP exams to study for coming up, and that’s not even considering keeping up with hospital volunteering and going to your games and having any kind of semblance of a social life and…” she trailed off, her stomach finally settling as she came to the conclusion she knew she was going to come to all along. “I can’t join the dance company.”

Rowan frowned and reached for her hand. “Are you sure, Ace?” His hand wrapped around hers in a comforting squeeze, and she knew he was asking seriously. “We could make it work. I could help you study, we could bring out your color-coded schedule again to make sure we could fit everything in.”

“I know,” Aelin sighed, squeezing back. “But, I’m sure.”

But as the afternoon ticked by, Aelin couldn’t ignore the swirling feeling of guilt trying to pull her under. She was so distracted by the approaching time that she completely zoned out through all of AP Lit, startling when the period ended and Dorian poked her side.

And as five PM approached closer and closer, she found herself growing more agitated and even snapping at Rowan at one point. It wasn’t his fault; he had to head off to lacrosse practice, but Aelin had found herself so worked up that she had thought maybe he’d want to help release some tension.

“I’ll come right over after practice,” Rowan promised as he twined his hands around her waist.

“But you’ll be all sweaty and gross,” Aelin replied with a frown.

“I thought you liked when I get sweaty,” he laughed, nuzzling his nose into her hair. Aelin sighed, knowing she was being petulant, but she couldn’t get out of her own head.

“Only when I’m the one doing it!”

She tried to push him away, but Rowan’s grasp on her was iron-clad, too tight for her to even think about prying him off her. “Ace,” he lowered his voice. “I would love nothing more than to skip practice and be with you, but you know this is the only thing I need to do this semester to keep my place at Wendlyn.”

“Because Wendlyn’s more important than me?”

“I think you need a snack,” Rowan laughed, but Aelin didn’t find that funny at all.

“Sorry my blood sugar problems are amusing to you,” she said, stiffening within his grasp. She felt Rowan sigh deeply and watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose and scrunched his brows up the way she loved so much.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “You know that’s not—”

“I know,” Aelin replied quickly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

Rowan raised a single brow as if to tell her he knew exactly what had gotten into her, and so did she.

“It’s not even four yet,” Rowan said. “You could still go.”

But Aelin was nothing if not resolute. She’d made up her mind, and it was completely logical. And she was sticking to it. No, she’d head home and, yes, get a snack, and dig into her lit homework. Maybe Dorian would be willing to give her his notes from the class, seeing as she couldn’t remember a single thing that was discussed earlier.

She forced a smile and shrugged her shoulders back. “Nope, you were right. I need a snack. I’ll head to Maeve’s and see what she’s got for me.”

Rowan grimaced. “She closed for the afternoon, actually, while they put in a new stove, but she should be reopened by the time I’m out of practice.” Aelin shivered as Rowan let his fingers trail in small circles up and down her back. “Why don’t I stop there on my way to your place after practice? Cheeseburger and brownies?”

“And then orgasms?” Aelin asked, causing a loud snort to erupt from Rowan.

“You want to have sex after cheeseburger and brownies? That feels dangerous.”

“Well, we could have sex first, but reheated cheeseburgers are pretty garbage,” Aelin replied, loving the soft smile that appeared on Rowan’s face. It was the one solely reserved for her. When she was being particularly ridiculous or annoying, it was like he couldn’t help but love her more, and the small curve of his lips let her know that.

“You’re right. Cheeseburgers first,” he paused. “Then sex, then brownies?”

“Deal,” Aelin said as she reached her hand out to shake his. But he instead grasped it in his and brought it to his mouth, kissing her knuckles lightly.

“I love you,” he said.

And though Aelin wanted to roll her eyes, she took a moment to relish the fact that her best friend in the whole world loved her. And would do anything to make her smile. In fact, he’d succeeded in getting her too distracted to think about the auditions and…

As soon as she thought about them, her smile faded again.

“Just go,” he whispered, but Aelin shook her head.

“Have a good practice. See you in a few hours.”

She kissed him and sent him off, hoping to pour herself into her studies. But even with her book open, Aelin digested none of what she was reading. She kept looking at the clock, distracted. Even as it passed five pm, knowing that she was missing the auditions, she still couldn’t focus. And her mood started to plummet.

It plummeted even further as she received a text from Rowan saying that their coach needed him to stay behind for a bit after practice and that he’d be later than anticipated.

She tried to read more, and when that didn’t work, she attempted to do some math equations, but she couldn’t get her brain to work. She knew what she needed. And it was to dance it out. Despite everything, that was still her best coping mechanism. When a second text from Rowan came in, apologizing for being even later, Aelin had had enough. She couldn’t just sit here and wallow. Instead, she wrote a note for whoever would get home first – her dad, Lorcan, or Rowan — and began walking.

She didn’t even know where she was walking until she ended up at the dance studio. It was unlocked, but empty. She couldn’t remember if there had been an end time to the auditions, but it seemed completely deserted. No one was sitting at the front desk, and the lights were eerily dim. This is what she’d expected to walk into last week when she’d stolen back her lacrosse hoodie, and she was even more annoyed about it somehow.

Instead of focusing on that, though, she went straight for the first open studio and turned the lights on. The fluorescent bulbs overhead flickered on, illuminating the wooden floors beneath with a warm yellow glow. She toed her sneakers off and padded barefoot to the corner of the studio where the massive (and ancient) stereo system was stored. She pulled her phone out and connected it, pulling up one of the old playlists Rowan had made for her and closed her eyes, letting the music wash over her. Her feet took off, working in sync with the rhythm reverberating through the bare floor. Next, her arms spread, stretching out and shaking off the stress of the last few weeks.

For the first time, she really let herself feel it. The worrying and wondering what the future would hold. She knew Rowan was destined for Wendlyn, but she had no idea what she would do if she didn’t get in, too. He’d assured her that they’d stay together and figure it out, but who really stays with their high school boyfriend? She knew they weren’t like everyone else – they were special – but it didn’t stop her from thinking about it and wondering. When it came down to it, that’s why she really couldn’t bring herself to audition today. She couldn’t risk spending less time with Rowan, not if this was the last few weeks of their relationship.

Whoa. Where did that thought come from?

She ignored the small tear that pooled in the corner of her eye, letting it drip down her cheek as she spun in time with the music. How could she doubt her and Rowan’s relationship after all this time? She knew in her soul that they were destined to be together. She couldn’t imagine a world where she didn’t wake up and see him every day. But there had been a small slice of fear since they first kissed, and it had ebbed and flowed with each passing day until it was now a gaping chasm in the pit of her stomach. The idea that she could end up elsewhere without Rowan was a real, actual problem. And the timeframe was closing in on them. What if this was the end of them? How would she ever recover?

Her hands reached overhead and then she let her body collapse to the floor in a graceful fall, letting go over the overwhelming sensations of fear that had been swirling and threatening to paralyze her. She arched her back and her neck released, the tension that Rowan had tried to knead attempting to relax and letting gravity pull her down, down, down.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Rowan. She did. More than anything. She just didn’t trust this world. She didn’t trust that everything would work out the way it was supposed to. I mean, just look at her dad. He’d thought he’d found the love of his life, and she walked away like it was nothing. Walked away from Aelin.

She didn’t want to cling to Rowan, to be the girl who changed her whole life just to be with a guy. She wasn’t that person. No. She was Aelin fucking Galathynius, and she could live life fully on her own. But she wanted to be with Rowan. Wanted the whole package. Saw their life together. And wanted more than anything for it to become a reality. But what if that future disappeared? What if it was cut short? What if they drifted apart. What if they tried to do long distance? Last summer while he was at camp was only two months and it was pure torture. It caused a rift so big between them that she wasn’t sure they’d overcome it. And yes, of course they did. But… to do it again? And for four years?

Her emotions threatened to choke her as she continued to dance out her frustrations, stomping and spinning and leaping, hoping against all hopes that the answers to her anxieties would appear if she could only dance long enough. She left every feeling, every worry, every gnawing anxiety on the dance floor, letting it tumble out through her moving limbs.

She didn’t know how long she’d been dancing when she opened her eyes again and refocused at herself in the mirror. She didn’t recognize the girl she saw there. She may not have come up with any answers, but she felt better. Raw, red eyed, red cheeked, and breathing hard, Aelin felt totally exposed. Which is why she nearly jumped out of her skin when a voice cut through the silence, over her harsh exhale.

“Practice starts next week.”

The director of the company stood in the darkened doorway of the studio, arms crossed and lips pursed in thoughtful approval.

“Oh, I wasn’t—”

“I know you weren’t,” she said with a formal smile. “But we’d still love to have you. If you want.”

It wasn’t necessarily the answer she had hoped to reach, but something about this moment felt like the universe trying to reassure her. That things do work out the way they’re supposed to.

“Yeah?” she asked, feeling somewhat hopeful.

“Yes.”

“Okay,” she said.

A wide smile crossed the director’s face. “Welcome to the Orynth Dance Company,” she congratulated her.

Aelin didn’t know what had overcome her, but she couldn’t help but run over to her and throw her sweaty arms around her neck in a giant hug.

“Thank you.”

Right on cue, Aelin’s phone buzzed with another incoming text.

Cheeseburgers en route. See you soon. Xx

. . .

As anticipated, the cheeseburgers were exactly what Aelin needed to rejuvenate herself, but Rowan was totally right that there was no way to be sexy after housing a half pound of meat and cheese.

“I’m so stuffed,” she said, patting her extremely full stomach.

Rowan snorted. “Why don’t we take a post-dinner break and watch something?”

“Only if it’s Housewives!” Lorcan shouted from the kitchen where he was cooking dinner for him and Rhoe, who were properly affronted that Rowan hadn’t brought them cheeseburgers, as well.

Aelin sighed and chuckled softly as she let herself slump over onto Rowan, who was already pulling up Housewives onto the television.

“You are such an enabler,” Aelin laughed.

“It’s easier than dealing with him being pouty,” Rowan smartly replied.

Aelin was about to agree when they were interrupted by an unusual ring tone.

“I’m sorry,” Rowan said, sitting up suddenly. “Is that your… home phone?”

Aelin genuinely couldn’t remember the last time that had rung. Usually she and her dad were both contacted on their cells. They really just had a home line because it was part of their internet package. She couldn’t even remember who had that number.

“Uh, phone’s for you Aelin?” Lorcan shouted from the kitchen.

Even weirder?

“Who the hell would be calling this late on a Tuesday?” Aelin whispered. Rowan’s brow lifted.

“Why don’t you go see?”

Curious, Aelin pried herself off the couch and headed to the kitchen where Lorcan was standing with a spatula in one hand and the phone in the other.

“Who is it?” she whispered.

Lorcan shrugged, simply shoving the phone forward. Helpful.

Aelin cradled the phone against her ear and took a deep breath. “Hello?”

“Hello!” A deep voice rang out over the phone. “Is this Miss Aelin Galathynius?”

“Um,” she cleared her throat. “Yes?”

“Excellent!” the voice boomed, causing her to pull the phone away from her ear slightly. “My name is Xavier Forul, and I’m a local alum of Wendlyn University. I’d love to have you in for an interview some time in the near future. Whenever you’re available! I know you’re a busy senior with a lot on her plate.”

Aelin’s heart took off, beating faster as his words unfolded.

“Interview?”

“Yes,” he continued. “It’s my favorite part of the process. As a former Wendlyn man myself, I get to sit down and speak with young promising applicants to see what their goals and ambitions might be and how they might become part of the Wendlyn world.”

Aelin glanced at the silver-headed mop peeking out above the couch and exhaled slowly. This was it. The universe reassuring her. She felt it with every fiber of her being. She could dance, she could nail her classes this semester, and she’d get into Wendlyn and be with Rowan.

“Wow, thank you so much for reaching out,” Aelin began, her autopilot pilot voice taking over. “I’d love to meet with you.”

As Xavier explained the details of the interview, Aelin’s hope buoyed. She’d been waiting for a sign from the universe, something to tell her that she and Rowan were going to work out and be fine. If a personalized phone call on a landline that hadn’t rung in more months than she could count, inviting her into the home of a University alum wasn’t a sign, she didn’t know what was. And Aelin began to hope for the first time that everything was going to actually work out.

~*~

[ohblahdo]

Coming Up/Starting Over

Thinking about the dialogue between Paul and John in McCartney II and Double Fantasy: 'Coming Up' is a song addressed to a friend who wants "a love to last forever" (a reference to Don't Let Me Down) as well as "peace and understanding" (Give Peace a Chance, etc.), in which the speaker is offering reassurance: I am that friend, I want to help, hang in there and things will get better. "Never fade away" could be construed as a Buddy Holly reference (to "Not Fade Away"), and while 'searching' is a common verb, it's also the name of the song Paul always refers to when talking about the Cavern days. There might be other references I'm missing, but it's very much a song about music, which is underlined by the video, in which Paul plays different musicians (including himself as a Beatle), as well as by the extra lyrics in the live version ("I know if we could get together, we'd make music endlessly"), and the fact that Paul talks about 'coming up' as a radio reference ("coming up on the hour" - also in the live version).

Put that together, and I think it's both a friendly message to John - hi, I'm still your friend - and an invitation to make music together again. If you see it as a more romantic relationship, then obviously there could be other subtext there, but the basic idea is the same either way. (Invoking "Don't Let Me Down" to say "actually, ours is the love that lasts forever" ten years later can be seen as both bitchy and wildly romantic in a way I find kind of charming.)

This isn't a new idea, but it's interesting to think about John's songs as a response to that. First, there's "I Don't Wanna Face It", which the Beatles Bible says he started in 1977, but which clearly had a pretty overt musical reference to Coming Up incorporated into it when he reworked it in the summer of 1980. It was apparently the first song he recorded for Double Fantasy, and no matter which way you read it, if Coming Up is a question, I Don't Wanna Face it answers it with either "no" or "no, and fuck you".

But that isn't actually where the conversation ends, because John decided not to put that song on the album. Instead, one of the last songs he wrote for Double Fantasy was "(Just Like) Starting Over". I don't discount the idea that the song reflects his feelings for Yoko, or that he wrote it to better fit the narrative of the album, but I'm always a fan of the idea that a song or a work of art can say more than one thing at a time. I do not think that John, in the late 70s or 1980, would accidentally reference Paul's band and two of his singles in his lyrics without realizing it ("it's time to spread our wings and fly, don't let another day go by, my love"). Also, just as Coming Up is a meta song, so is Starting Over: I see your Buddy Holly, and I raise you an Elvis. And where I Don't Wanna Face It is a 'no', Starting Over feels like a 'yes' - the whole song is him asserting that he doesn't want to give up on a relationship. And maybe the yes has nothing to do with romantic love and everything to do with music - that would certainly make sense, both in relation to the songs themselves and to where John and Paul were musically and personally (both making albums that were, on some level, about recapturing their love of music, and allegedly considering working together on Ringo's album). Or maybe they were having wild sex in motels all over Long Island, idk. But the existence of the dialogue itself interests me, and it's nice to think of it ending on a positive note given what came next.

[nanomooselet]

Episode Two: The Running Man

It's odd how little gets said about this ep, considering it's the most direct homage the earlier anime adaptation - but maybe that might be why? Since, as I said, this was my entry into the story, to me it felt out of place. It seemed like it was doing all it could to distract from how the previous ep concluded.

With hindsight, I think that's the idea.

The opening with the radio! I'm so weirdly fond of it. Yeah it's a flashback, but it shows Vash in a private moment without his mask; a glimpse of his secrets. He's not wearing his coat, so you get a look at how broad his shoulders are; he's also handling the tools to maintain his gun skilfully for someone who claims he's not a fighter. As he's contemplating the crash - he was there, obviously, and he has the photo of him, Rem and Nai still - the radio host says without the Plants, our ancestors would have died out long ago. How long ago? Long enough that Vash likely shouldn't still look such a gosh darn pretty boy? Yet it slips by.

(I do not understand the complaints that Stampede had no mystery.)

This is the episode where he's most committed to the bit of being cute but sort of hapless and silly, too, so the contrast is dramatic. I don't think he was actually expecting Meryl and Roberto to clear his name all at once, but I do think he was hoping, I don't know, maybe they'd believe him from the first. But nothing's ever that easy for my boy. I gotta say, Vash, optimism has its limits. Your story is that you're being framed by your previously unknown identical twin brother. You know it's true, I know it's true, but you might have had an easier time with some, I don't know… evidence? It's not surprising the reporters are sceptical.

Oh god, I'm so sorry, do you want a hug or -

(By the way, this means Knives told everyone it wasn't him, it was a one-armed man.)

He's being melodramatic, but I suspect also more sincere than what comes across - which is the whole reason he exaggerates, of course. (What? No, I'm not talking from experience. I have never, ever done this. Never ever in A MILLION YEARS have I exaggerated to obfuscate my sincerity.) The angle changes to show his face, and it's pretty clear how genuinely exhausted and upset even the thought of Knives makes him. Though it is still pretty funny that Meryl just isn't having it.

Also funny: Meryl versus the Worms, round one. Worms 1, Meryl 0.

Roberto greeting Tonis is really cute. He's a grump, but he's never an asshole to kids.

Ahhhh Tonis gives Vash his bugs and Vash pats his head and then he moves to take his hand away Tonis grabs it so he'll keep doing it and then when Rosa tells Tonis to leave Vash look dismayed and waves goodbye and it is so cute and IT IS SO SAD.

Because Rosa loves her son, wants him healthy and happy and safe, wants him shielded from the violence of the world and from decisions like pulling a gun on the hero of your town who's been nothing but good to you, better than you deserve - and yet we saw Rosa come to the decision that she would do this last episode. Right about... here. See the way she moves from standing in front of him, almost protectively, to beside him, clearing the way? By the look on her face, she doesn't want to. Vash proved himself yet again afterwards, saved the town without hesitation the moment it was endangered at great risk to himself. He's a good man, a friend, someone she trusts. But it's not him Rosa's thinking of now. It's not even the town. It's Tonis.

I have to say, Roberto doesn't look shocked or concerned. He just wearily sets down his mug and raises his hands, expression unchanged. Meanwhile Meryl's turned into a cartoon.

Vash understands. He didn't fight back against the MPs. He didn't instigate the duel. It's because of him that this is necessary. That just doesn't mean he's going to make it easy for them.

Ah, that old Stampede special: the undignified leg-spread landing.

Man the English dub is good, but it's this episode I started to realise how good. It's incredibly funny. "The furious fists of the Nebraska Family challenge you to a duel!" "Felt the fury right there!" "Money! Come back!" "I hope you like pancakes, because you're going to become one!"

There's one translation I'm not sold on, though, and it's Nebraska declaring "Power is justice! Power is truth!" I had the same problem in Persona 5 Royal when I played it and the characters kept going on about how they'll "prove our justice". It sounds so awkward.

From what I can tell, the word they're using translates more clearly to "moral rightness" or "righteousness", and the score title for Stampede renders what Nebraska says better: might is right. He's advocating Social Darwinism, basically. It's the natural order of the world: the strong deserve to flourish, the weak deserve to perish.

Nebraska: I hate cowards like you! This whole planet is fighting for survival! Anyone who runs is bound to die like a sorry loser! But you, Stampede! How dare you?! / You coward! I despise waste-of-life cream puffs like you! You have to fight tooth and nail to survive in this world! If those who can't hack it run away and die like chickens, then so be it! But you? I expected more, Stampede!

Vash: You might be right that I'm too timid. But is that such a terrible thing? Is fighting everything head-on so important? Even if it gets someone killed? / Okay, I may not be the bravest, but what's so terrible about being a little timid? Is fighting head-on always right? It risks lives, and for what?

Nebraska: Weapons… are made for fighting! Do you get it now?! There's no future for those who don't fight! / I might as well, huh? It's what the damn thing's made for! That'll show ya! Any snivelling slug too scared to fight must die!

Vash: Come on, can you back off? I really don't want to fight anyone. / Can you guys cool it for a second? I'm really not in the mood for violence.

Nebraska: That's the attitude that pisses me off! / When the world ends, will it ask if you're in the mood?

It's kinda funny that Nebraska keeps going on about it, though, because he also keeps demanding accommodation for his son's weakness. If he was really committed he'd rely only on himself instead of endangering Gofsef. And yet oddly enough, it's the hypocrisy which saves him, because it's how Rosa realises how much they have in common. He loves Gofsef, just like she loves Tonis, and Vash forgives them both.

Enjoy the subtle gag of Meryl mirroring her "parents'" expressions, BTW.

Nabraska judging the townspeople for drinking before 5:00PM as if he didn't just destroy half the place trying to steal their only power source.

Gofsef being creeped out by Tonis's Worm buddies.

And Roberto visibly tuning out as Meryl tells him off.

I think the reason this feels like it's all happening so fast is because this is the place where an episode of the older adaptation would end, leaving some implied time to pass before the next crisis. But this isn't twenty-six self-contained episodes, it's twelve instalments of one story. The running man must continue to run, because it was never humans he was running from.

And I didn't realise this until now, but the drone in Vash's room? It's looking for him, or his things. It doesn't find either.

When it doesn't...

E.G. launches his assault, though the drones had been patrolling since the previous night. Vash was about to leave when he heard the scream from the diner and rushed back to help. And so he stayed long enough for E.G.'s master to arrive in person.

Whatever happened in Jeneora Rock, it seems it was necessary for Vash to witness it, so E.G. had instructions to keep him in place.

So E.G.'s cyborg enhancements look like a bear trap.

Of course.

[eldjester]

SOAR, The Damage Race and Damage Die

(Yes, this is inspired by @makapatag latest post, I like getting into details about what goes on in my design thoughts)

So I've ran a fair bit of games over the years, and talked about a few design thoughts with my good friend Ru. That experience has lead me to feel opinionated on some stuff or try to fix some "issues" I didn't want in my own TTRPG, namely Damage Die and the idea Damage Race is all that matters.

-Damage Die: For about a whole year, I have been running a system that uses multiple types of damage die, from d6 to d10, which are bound to its classes rather than abilities (this is Icon, if you're curious), and while i don't think it is unworkable, it made me think about a few things, namely the nature of why we roll for damage in the first place and why so many Tactical TTRPGs want to have critical hits. In most cases, I don't tend to like rolling for damage with wide possibilities, for example rolling a d8 or a d10, as those are very swingy and hard to make informed decision about, even if they fit a playstyle that's more about pushing your luck, they just don't work for me, I don't like how they control pacing, especially if rolling high on them is supposed to really hurt, it tends to make anything that surrounds them uncertain for basically everyone on the table, and for me it doesn't really do a fun surprise when you do roll good on them. Critical Hits adding more damage is also a staple of many games, and I think as time goes on i'm less of a fan of that too as it tends to be done in a way that just shines a bigger spotlight on the uncertain damage numbers of some attacks (hi "Double Damage on crit" systems !). So what I ended up doing, was just remove this idea that your damage die has to inform the damage you do related to its number. See, I'm a big fan of tables, I love random tables, I also love having some level of control over what you can expect, so I had a fun idea, what if I used a damage profile table for attacks ? So, in SOAR, when you hit (which you still need to roll to do specifically for attacks, as I like having that mechanical lever to tinker with) you roll a d6 or more if your abilities add some, and you keep the highest one, the number you roll then tells you what you'll be using as a profile for the attack, bigger means better in this case, here's an example:

Weak Hit (1-2): 2 damage, push target 1, move 1

Normal Hit (3-5): 3 damage, push target 1, move 1, push target 1

Strong Hit (6): 4 damage, push target 1, move 2, push target 1, target is dazed

Critical Hit (6,6): 5 damage, push foe 1, move 2, push foe 2, foe is dazed. A keen eye might have noticed this shares similarities with how FITD handles rolls in terms of spread (being a tiny bit more forgiving), this has allowed me to make sure I know how much damage every attack does while still having room to make the damage uncertain, you can still cheer if you roll a strong hit or a critical hit (you in fact, have a resource you can spend to upgrade a hit to its next step if you want to), as a fun added fact, this type of damage profile idea started off as something I made for a gunfight based game, and worked backward into adding to SOAR, from my, admittedly limited, testing it has sped up play a fair bit while still giving me levers to work with in terms of balance. -The Damage Race There's this really annoying feeling sometimes when you play TTRPGs Combats that not doing damage isn't ideal, you see it all the time (death is the best control my beloathed expression) even when it isn't "true". Something you learn relatively soon in TTRPG design is that even if you don't think something is true, people believing it is will still affect how they interact with it, often in a self reinforcing way, and this was something I wanted to avoid in SOAR as it would be especially prone to this, it is after all a Beat'Em All inspired TTRPG, so it was going to have people come in with that assumption regardless. So I thought, hey, what if I didn't bother trying to balance Control and Damage here ? What if i had everyone "do both" ? So that's what I ended up settling on, every Style comes with an attack, which you can use EVERY turn, and a bunch of abilities, which is where a lot of statuses and utility moves exist. Of course, it didn't come free of problems, I had to essentially make everyone have more HP to account for it, but it also made me free of a problem I was having trouble figuring out: what if someone never attacks and just deals damage through abilities which never need to hit ? The way i'm doing it now, people HAVE to care about attacks, and it also means that, with it being essentially "free", I can balance around it and make sure fights aren't static, players always have 2 shots at changing things every turn they do. Thus far in testing I think it has proven to work.

[memoriashell]

okay i’ve been seeing some things go around due to one of kodaka’s bluesky posts, so i’m going to throw my hat in the ring and offer my interpertation based on what i got out of his original post. since i think some things have gotten lost in translation and have gotten some misinterperations spreading because of it.

tldr; i don't think kodaka retconned or anything, owada is still ishimaru's first real friend by far.

disclaimer, i’m not fluent in japanese, so i'm not claiming that this is perfect or potentially not without misunderstandings. i’ve also included some translation notes to clarify some things that i felt needed clarification and to offer explanation as to why i reached the conclusions that i did.

kyappu-o ’s question:

最近石丸清多夏の中学生活が気になって美味しい物しか喉を通らない状態です！

These days, [I’ve] been wondering about Ishimaru Kiyotaka’s middle school life, and the circumstance is that appealing things cannot be swallowed.*

* Okay, I know this isn’t really important in the grand scheme of things, but the second part of the question was giving me a little difficulty; mainly because I think it’s probably slang that doesn’t 100% translate. Anyways, the connitation here is implied to be negative, so I think unlike the translation that’s been going around, it isn’t meant to be a positive statement. If I had to guess, in English something that is hard to swallow is generally a negative thing, or at least not positive usually; so I think there is a similar euphiusm in Japanese. In turn, I think the request might have been implying that they were requesting they wanted to know something not so positive. Again, this is just a guess, and not really important in the grand scheme of things.

kodaka’s response:

クレヨンしんちゃんの、しんちゃんみたいな自由奔放な友人がいて、毎日振り回されていました。

Similar to Shin-chan from Crayon Shin-chan*, there was a free-spirited friend**, and every day [Ishimaru] was pushed around***.

でも、引っ越してしまって、寂しい石丸少年でした。

But [the friendship] ended when [that person] moved, and Ishimaru was a lonesome youth [following this] ***.

* Not going to lie, this one is probably hard to follow a little without the context of knowing what Shin-chan is. Here's the wikipedia  if you want to better understand the idea of 'free spirited' that is being conveyed here; but basically, five year old that is very brazen, I guess. Basically, attitude wise this friend was the opposite of Ishimaru.

Also, while 自由奔放 doesn't exactly translate to free-spirited, it is close in meaning; it translates to free and uncontrolled, or behaving with abandon.

** As a note, 友人 (yuujin) is used here instead of 友達 (tomodachi); which is a more formal way of saying friend. I would assume Kodaka's word choice is pretty intentional here. I'd say it's to convey that despite being friends, this wasn't a close friendship; just closer than classmates, perhaps.

*** This is the part I think has gotten a little misunderstood. 振り回す can be intereperted a few ways, which includes: ++ to show off (generally in the sense of one's knowledge) ++  to abuse (one's power) ++  to manipulate someone

Thus, why the translation I went for was that it's a friendship where Ishimaru's being pushed around. It's open for interpertation how you want to take it, but it's clear that it's probably supposed to be understood as not the most healthiest friendship. Probably a very one-sided one.

**** Also a little bit hesitant on translating this bit, but I think it's mostly correct. To explain why this bit differs from the other translation going around:

While 年 does refer to time, 少年 (shounen) means boy, lad, youth, etc. I think it makes more sense to interpert it as Ishimaru was a lonely youth [afterwards]; rather to break 少年 up to get Ishimaru was lonely for a little time [afterwards].

[tubbytarchia]

I love to imagine how shocked and surprised the ranchers and Pearl would be when they both realize that the ranchers don’t fear Pearl and that Pearl isn’t ridiculing the ranchers for even a second

Like they’d be flabbergasted

“Wait your not scared of me??”

“Wait your not gonna make fun of us???”

Just imagine them standing together like that one Spider-Man point meme

Sorry this answer is about to go on a bit of a general ranchers/pearl thought spree but YEAH this, lmao. They have more in common than they'd think!! Alas fate was cruel and it feels like two ships that were so close to meeting but just barely missed each other in the night, sailing right past

Jimmy at least has Tango to not be alone in his ridicule but even with their heads put together they wouldn't have enough brain capacity to care about what others are saying about Pearl. And well, there WAS session 3 when Jimmy shooed Pearl away because of. powdered snow?????? And because she was holding a sculk sensor?? Honestly I don't think Jimmy even at that point cared much about her being labelled as crazy, or didn't perceive it as anything significant, because it never came up unless I'm mistaken? Not once did the ranchers mention that? Jimmy did still break my heart in that moment but I don't think he realized the gravity of what he was doing. I think he was leaning into that more jokingly than anything but also... maybe Scott's presence at that very moment influenced him (cough because flower husbands past cough)

Tango most certainly wouldn't care about what Scott was spreading about Pearl. Scott could come and tell it to his face and he'd be like "uhuh yup!" and then forget immediately because he's Tango (not because he's stupid, he just doesn't think about things he doesn't consider important in relation to him). And Jimmy I think might care more if he weren't in like a happy ranch marriage with Tango and stuff. They'd be aware but not know how deep others' perception of Pearl went, nor would they care unless Pearl wronged them in any significant way

Jimmy wasn't surprised by Pearl's kindness to them in getting the goat horns, probably mostly because he was racking his brain too hard over Minecraft mechanics and being too overjoyed when they did get said horns, but probably also because he expected it to be a one-off thing? But I'd like to think that when Pearl returned to apologize after making a fool of him by stealing Oreo (the horse) with Martyn, and Jimmy kept asking "Are you serious?" when Pearl offered to give the horse back for nothing in exchange this time, that that was when he was really taken aback. Pearl once again showed some form of kindness, even as she was being shunned by everyone (moreso now than in session 2) and as she started to lean into the label of "crazy" that she was given because what else was she to do, all alone? Even then she ran back to Jimmy to apologize and give the horse back. And Jimmy, sweet child, offers friendship at last. But then he got ahead of himself when Pearl asked for confirmation and he went "You know you'd be an even better friend if you gave my horn back too!" and Pearl had to admit she'd already given it to Martyn, after which they kind of just separated without saying much. Clearly Jimmy was disappointed but mm he didn't even proclaim that Pearl wasn't welcome anymore or anything... It was certainly implied through his silence but knowing Jimmy, he would have gotten defensive and made his stance clear, but he didn't, which was either because he didn't want to, because maybe he still wanted to entertain the idea of Pearl making it up to him, OR he was just that fucking sad. He just said "right" and left as Pearl laughed (also I refuse to believe there was malice there in her laugh. What else was she gonna do in response) Either way oh my god I hate it I'm so sad

Anyway so. Their interactions past session 2 were mostly unfortunate but to me it's just... SUCH CRUEL FATE because YOU'RE RIGHT ANON. I really think they could have made it work but because Pearl was in the position that she was in, she didn't consider the idea of ever allying with anyone seriously enough and when she would have, with the ranchers, she'd already felt like she missed her chance. I'd like to imagine her laugh then, when Jimmy left her at the gate of the ranch was that of realization that maybe this friendship really could have happened, but she messed it up. And I'd like to think the ranchers would have still ultimately welcomed her into an alliance, had Pearl not given up trying, because she probably thought that if the ranchers hadn't thought badly of her yet, they must have now. Because no one wanted her, why would the ranchers be an exception? I'm gonna stop my unrefined elongated rant before I completely lose myself um hi hello I'm sorry that I got emotional in response to an anon ask describing the spiderman meme LMAO I'm a bit ill

[ateezrecsandreviews]

Hongjoong Recommendations

@ateezrecsandreviews Hongjoong fanfic recommendations :)

(updated with word counts)

**<-NSFW

8 newly added fics are at the bottom of the list (2022.12.03)

**Tell Me to Stop - @tenelkadjowrites (4.4k words)

Having been best friends with Hongjoong since childhood, you thought a camping trip might help breach the growing distance between the two of you. However, when a storm sweeps Hongjoong’s tent away, you find yourself in rather cramped quarters with him when he has to share your tent.

**Project Omen (feat. Wooyoung) - @mintsang (40.5k words)

you’ve never been close to your father, so when he passes it doesn’t affect, aside from the residual business that you have to take care of in his absence. exploring his basement uncovers a sealed chamber in a hidden room, a man with what looks like a tail staring back at you.

**I Missed You - @hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf (8.4k words)

You’ve been best friends with hongjoong since middle school but had limited contact when he became a trainee... But tonight’s movie night is different from any other.

**The Best Friend’s Code (feat. Seonghwa) - @tenelkadjowrites (11.3k words)

Hongjoong swears up and down that if you don’t touch each other, it won’t ruin the friendship…and what is the harm in blowing off some steam?

**Fire & Flames - @serendipityunho (5.9k words)

You never expected. tofall into the arms of the notorious bad boy of the campus, Hongjoong, after getting locked out. But yet again, he never expected you to end up into his arms either.

**under my skin (feat. Wooyoung) - @hongism (7.1k words)

Wooyoung should never have admitted that he liked Hongjoong bossing him around, and he most definitely shouldn't have done it so publicly. Aka Hongjoong knows how to get under his skin and god damn if he doesn't do it fucking well.

**For Your Entertainment (feat. San and Mingi) - @atiny-piratequeen (4.3k words)

Being the partner of a crime boss is hard sometimes. With Hongjoong hard at work, you feel neglected, so you’ve picked up the pastime of being particularly handsy with other close members of the mafia. Is it a bad idea? Probably. Does it catch the attention of Hongjoong? Definitely. Are you in a teeny tiny bit of trouble? Absolutely.

**Deal - @hongism (10.3k words)

Rule number one: do not under any circumstances sleep with a roommate.

**Man Spreading - @barnesbabee (2k words)

Hongjoog’s pictures made you a little shifty, and maybe drooling over them when he was still in the building wasn’t the smartest move.

**Seven O’Clock - @serendipityunho (3.1k words)

Somtimes, you just need a little more than just talking to forget about your cheating ex. Good thing your best friend had just the right solution.

**Attention (feat. Hwa) - @beginningofwonderland (6k words)

Your boyfriend Hongjoong is too busy with work for your and Seonghwa's liking so you decide to distract him with rather inappropriate means.

**Mistleblow (feat. Hwa) - @choijjongho (6.1k words)

You always look forward to the nights you spend with your boyfriends, Hongjoong & Seonghwa, at the BDSM club

**505 (001) Kim Hongjoong - @heterotragedies (11.5k words)

Intimacy, arousal, euphoria, and a concept of fantasies. the idea of skin on skin, breaths mixing into one, & hearts beating in sync

**[10:36 p.m] - K.Hj - @hyuckilstan (600 words)

What's better than mean dom Hongjoong? Note: @ateezrecsandreviews summary

**Night Shift (OT8, Hongjoong focus) - @atiny-piratequeen (2k words)

Kim Hongjoong is the new CEO at KQ. He forms a team of… Somewhat reliable men to help with a project to improve the company. Unfortunately, his workers seem to be focused on extracurricular activities.

**Kinktober Day 9 (Night Shift Universe^^) - @atiny-piratequeen (4k words)

**Punishment - @toxicccred (3.9k words)

What happens when you distract Hongjoong from his work? He loses his temper, obviously. Good thing that’s exactly what you were hoping for Note: @ateezrecsandreviews This is for the hard-core brats

**Cuckolding (feat. Seonghwa) - @hongism (6.9k words)

You and your husband, Hongjoong, invite one of his best friends over for dinner. Seems like a perfectly normal evening, as far as Seonghwa knows. But he can't help but salivate over the curve of your hips when he thinks you aren't looking. Luckily for him, you and Hongjoong have some... interesting plans prepared for the evening. Note: A personal favorite of @ateezrecsandreviews

**Thursday, 5:38pm (feat. Mingi) - @abiaswreck (3.2k words)

Spending quality time with Hongjoong in the studio can be boring when he’s busy. Thankfully he knows how to keep you content and entertained. Note: A personal favorite of @ateezrecsandreviews

[anamericangirl]

Hi there, I was wondering if you maybe have some advice?

I have a friend on here who posts a fairly small amount about the israel/palestine stuff, but it's all very pro-palestine, and she didn't used to post about politics a lot before the war started. She's still pretty chill though, and seems like she has her head on reasonably straight, but has just been taken in by the genocide talk, and humanitarian crisis things.

So I was wondering if you had any advice on what I could do to try and talk to her, and maybe help her look at things more critically? Or even some posts on here that have a more measured look on the war. I don't post about politics a lot ever since a bunch of people cut me off for being pro-life, but this has really been weighing on me lately.

I think it's great you want to approach your friend and help her to look at things more critically. With the way information is consumed these days it's extremely easy to just automatically share whatever you see and assume it's correct and that seems to be the habit she's fallen into.

Typically, what I try to do with someone I know personally when I notice that they are falling into that pattern and just spreading information they saw on the internet and just uncritically accepted it is really just to try to ask them questions in a non-hostile manner. Not from a confrontational mindset, but a curious one.

Like in this instance I would probably approach her just asking her why she supports Palestine and just base my next questions on whatever her response is.

If she claims Israel is committing genocide some follow up questions you could ask are:

"Why do you believe Israel is committing genocide?"

"What do you consider to be genocide?"

"Are you aware the Palestine population has been steadily increasing over the last several years? Wouldn't that make the idea that they're committing genocide a little less credible?"

"Do you think Hamas is trying to commit genocide at all or do you think it's just Israel?"

Whatever she says about Israel you can acknowledge it and say you understand her perspective but I think asking for her opinions on some the things Hamas does that she just might not be aware of would be helpful. Like, for example:

"Do you feel like Hamas was justified in their attack on Israeli civilians on October 7? Why or why not?"

"How do you feel about the fact that Hamas uses their own citizens, including children, as human shields?" This is something they've admitted to.

"How do you feel about the fact that Hamas lied about Israel, saying they had blown up a hospital and killed 500 people when in reality Israel hadn't done anything and Hamas' own rocket hit a parking lot and no on was killed?" We know this to be a fact because we have it on video.

"How do you feel about the fact that Hamas is run by billionaires with plenty of funds and instead of using that money to feed and house their citizens they just use it to to keep firing rockets at Israel?"

"How do you feel about Hamas stealing the aid meant for civilians?"

By just asking her questions it will help expose her to how much she doesn't know about this situation. And she might not like that and might get a little defensive, but it will at least show her there's a lot she doesn't know and she doesn't have a well rounded perspective on this issue.

Ask her if she's ever looked at this issue from the other side or listened to anyone who isn't pro-palestine. Has she given both sides a fair look before picking a side or is she just reposting whatever is coming across her path without question?

You can offer to show her some posts from the other side that you found helpful and resourceful or things that at least cast doubt on all the claims of genocide.

That is at least how I tend to go about things and find it to be a better tactic than just challenging everything they say. I hope this was at least somewhat helpful but if you have any more questions feel free to ask :)

[poppythetoppy]

[F4A][Upperbody & Foot Tickling][Femdom][Light Humiliation][Poppy's Ultimate Lee Fantasy] Your Partners Watching

Too bad sweetie, I'm not going to stop tickling you. I'm loving this far too much, and from the looks of it, so is he.

ITHIS IS AN 18+ BLOG AND THIS IS NOT FOR MINORS

Wakey wakey Poppy... Looks like I've caught you. Don't you look cute all spread out, trapped and tied in my little web of fun here. Hehe, don't look so nervous. It's not like we're alone in here, you and I. Look around... OOH, do you see him now? There he is~ look familiar?? Hahaa! Doesn't he look so sexy standing like that in the X frame, locked over in the corner of the room.

👋 Hiya sweetie, look whose up! 👋

I know he looks a bit sweaty and um a little *EHEM* stiff over there. But thats only because my fingers had been tampering with him until you were ready to stoop up out of that slumber. So I think its somebody else's turn for some attention. And I think ALL eyes are going to be on you this time, hehehe!

So, are you going to try to tug down those outstretched arms as I'm straddling your waist? Te-he, oh oohh!! A bit flinchy when my FINGERS start to prod at those sides. Hahahaha! Mhmm, isn't this fun? That cute laugh of yours echoing off the walls.. Hmm, I think I need to count ribs and check to see if they're all there...

1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. Oh wait, maybe it should be.. 2.. 4.. 6.. 8.. 10..? How many are there supposed to be, 14? I don't know, I dropped Anatomy class. Better count again, 2.. 4.. 6.. hmm hmmm.. hm hmmhhmm.~ HIP CHECK! Hehe found them, quite ticklish here too! Aww are you blushing already? Oop, looks like his face is red over there too. But thats for a completely different reason isn't it? Still kinda 'standing stiff' over there huh? You like watching me tickle her? You do? I think he does Poppy. Lets give him a show.

I'm just gonna make myself comfortable down here, and put your right foot in a bit of a head lock. Now I want you to do something. I want you to look at him, and I'm going too as well. But I don't want you to look away, no matter how BAD it tickles. Okay? One, two.. HAHAHA, Errrr!! I got your foot!~ Yeah? Hehe. Curling your toes isnt gonna work, nm-hm, not with me. Having my long sharp nails draw along these cute wrinkles. So delicately tracing each and every crevasse on your foot. Look at you two look at each others, who's enjoying this more him or YOU!? Haa!!

Don't break eye contact. Don't break eye contact. Don't bre- *nomnomnom* hehehe, aww can't handle a little toe nibbles? I didn't know you could scream that loud? *nomnomnomnom* Aww-haha, is that too much? Too bad sweetie, I'm not going to stop tickling you. I'm loving this far too much, and from the looks of it, so is he. How does this sound, I'll stop when he goes limp, okay? Hahaha, it might be awhile!

Lets see, is that neck up there ticklish? Now lets migrate up there and see, let my fingers marinate against your collarbone a bit? Mmhm, thats it, giggle for me. I can get a much better look at those tears from up here. I wouldn't take my eyes off of you either if I were him. Are your ears ticklish? Would you rather me tickle there or have me coo at them some more?

Haha, aww alright. Breath breath. I don't want to wear you out so quickly now do I? You lay and rest for a moment, I have him to keep my fingers busy. Oh yoo-hoo~ Boy Toy! Did somebody miss my fingers making them cackle like a little girl? Don't think I've forgotten about you. Those underarms have just been screaming my name since they left havent they? Hahahaha..!

Look at you dance, how precious. Ooh, theres just soo much ticklish skin to ground here. Hmm, I know. I've got a little idea. I think... I need to make a few phone calls. How do you like the sound of watching me and some friends gang tickle your partner while she's all tied up over there? Don't worry, I'll make sure someone's here to play with you too. Think she's listening over there? Haha, I think so, just look at her glistening with excitement.

Don't worry you two, I'll be back with reinforcements. Don't go anywhere!~

So I uh. I have DIED. Holy shit @prettymeredith you are a QUEEN

[away-ward]

Occasionally I get asked about my HCs on Emory during her time in San Francisco so here we go.

*There will be Nightfall spoilers so if you're not there yet and don't want to be spoiled...don't click keep reading? otherwise have at it. btw, this is going to be more analysis and not like...a list of ideas*

Emory was Depressed. Functioning, because she has always had to function no matter what was going on. She handled it the way she's handled everything else: by pushing the pain aside and only thinking about it when she was alone.

At the start, I do think she tried to make friends, but I don't think was super successful. Similar to Elle at TBP, I think her friendship with Thea probably dissolved at some point (though I would love for Em to reach out to Elle and Thea in the future. That could be a fun group outside the other girls).

The safety and freedom that being away from Martin provided was not the opportunity to spread her wings that she may have thought it was going to be. Trying to build a life that meant something to her was harder than she thought.

As 'free' as she was, Emory was only 'alive' when things were bad, when she felt there was something to fight for or against. She alludes to this briefly in the scene where she's fight with Taylor. After her fight with Will, Emory goes through the motions of her life in Thunder Bay. She says at one point, "I lost my heart..."

While she's speaking about the gazebo that Will later burns down, I don't think it was exclusively about that. I think she lost her heart for life in general when she lost Will.

Maybe if things had ended here for her, I could believe that she went on to lead a somewhat normal life, with all the experiences she wanted to have. However, any progress that she might have made is interrupted when she's goes back to Thunder Bay to confront Martin after Will's arrest. After that, Emory is convinced she committed the ultimate form of betrayal, and that Will is going to come after her one day in the future.

(Obviously, my feelings are that Emory doesn't bare any responsibility for this situation and whatever guilt she is shouldering is misplaced, but that's not the point here.)

With all this in mind, I don't think Emory went back to San Francisco and threw herself into a new life. I think she was killing time until Will came for his revenge, which she thought he deserved, as indicated above.

In my mind, when she gets back to San Francisco, Emory puts her head down and goes to work; she graduates, gets her degree, her internships, her job, but I don't think she's "living." I don't think she puts effort into friends, hobbies, or men (though she might have hookups, I don't think she has anything serious). She goes back to going through the motions, leading her into adulthood.

I think she might have put her focus into becoming an Adult, but in the most stereotypical way. She wanted to have the semblance of a normal life, so she wore the grown-up clothes, and made her bed in the morning, took vitamins, stayed hydrated, etc… Those little, minuscule tasks that people tout is what makes you an adult, but doesn't mean your life isn't falling apart around you. It was all a façade. Inside, she was still a scared, lonely girl that desperately wanted someone to care about her and no idea how to make that happen, covering it all up with accomplishments and bitter anger. Because that's the only way she knew to survive.

I do believe she'd have better relationships at her place of work than at Thunder Bay Prep. There are equalizing factors at play there that she didn't have before, such as earning her own money and being on equal ground with other new highers. I still don't think she got close to anyone, and overall very similar to how she was with Elle.

At least, that's my HC. I'm fully open to other's interpretations of Emory and her life outside Thunder Bay. There's so much that could have occurred that was never mentioned, and of course I could be overlooking some points. If you have any thoughts, agreements, disagreements, let me know.

Anyway. Have a great day.

[bluegekk0]

So how exactly did Zote get into this AU? I feel like I see him in quite a bit of the artwork. I feel like none of the pale family wouldn't want to be around him, so is he just there and they can't get rid of him or is he like the one family member they all like to bully?

Well, if there's anything that brings together the family, it's trauma and emotional damage. And yes, Zote is extremely unpleasant, but I do believe there are things in his past that made him push everyone away and act like a jerk. And deep down, he's just as hurt as everyone else in the AU.

This might be a long one cause I also want to get into how each family member sees him, as I rarely get the chance to talk about Zote.

I guess I'll start with his past. I'm aware that he's 100% meant to be a joke character in the game, that much is clear from his portrayal, dialogue and his role in the game. But I think if you read into some of his precepts, they paint a pretty interesting picture. And yes, I'm also aware that he lies about himself all the time, but some of those are way too specific in my opinion. I'll start in the order of the precepts since that's how I wrote them down.

"Laughter spreads like a disease, and soon everyone is laughing at you." - sounds to me like he has some experience with being bullied. Looking at his fighting skills, or lack thereof, I don't think it's that unreasonable to think he would be a laughing stock for his peers.

"The past is painful, and thinking about your past can only bring you misery." - this one is a lot more vague, but it's clear that he doesn't have fond memories of his past.

"You can rely on nobody, and nobody will always be loyal." - if this is his mindset, it would explain why he's so unpleasant to everyone. He doesn't trust them, perhaps out of fear that they'll bully and make fun of him?

"Mothers Will Always Betray You" and "Fathers believe that because they created us we must serve them and never exceed their capabilities." - these two are, in my view, the heart of the problem. The way I interpret it, he was seen as a disappointment by his father, who wanted to control his life, and his mother did nothing to defend him. If you feel like not even your own parents value you, it's only reasonable that you'd grow bitter towards everyone. And in his case, he also deluded himself into thinking that he's better than what he's perceived as. Not the most healthy coping habit, for sure.

"Do not linger in the nest. There is nothing for you there." - and it's not surprising that you'd get the hell out of your home as soon as you could.

"If someone asks forgiveness of you, for instance a brother of yours, always deny it." - yeah, makes sense that he wouldn't want to forgive them. The brother here is most likely just an example, but maybe there's more to it than that?

I may be looking too hard into a meme character, but I really like the idea of him being an outcast that decided to cope with his trauma by being incredibly unpleasant and pushing everyone away. And it only makes sense that he'd find family in another group of outcasts that all cope with their own issues.

Now, I also want to mention that I don't see him as an old man like a lot of people call him. To me, he's probably in his species' equivalent of 20s. So still quite young, and thus with a lot of potential to heal and become a better person, which is an arc he goes through in the au. Albeit slowly, i mean, it's Zote after all.

---

As for how the rest of the family sees him:

Holly is their closest friend, so i'll start with them. Before Vyrm moved to Dirtmouth, they didn't have any familiar face that would talk to them. They desperately wanted someone to acknowledge their presence, and being talked to was, to them, exactly what they needed. Hornet was still very distant, she didn't really speak a lot, and in general it felt like she ignored them. Grimm, while much more open to conversations, was busy - at that point, he and the Troupe were still slowly preparing to go elsewhere to finish the interrupted ritual. So Holly had to find what they were looking for elsewhere - and it just so happens that a very talkative bug was right there, in the town. Of course, he was only talking about himself and lying through his teeth, but Holly didn't mind that. plus, they related to his wish to love up to his father's expectations. And over time, the pair became good friends, to the point that even Zote began to act a bit less unpleasant towards them. He wasn't used to having friends, so it was definitely a struggle for him.

Hornet hated him at first. He was irritating, simply put. She responded to him with mean things, which would often end in arguments between the two. But as time passed, and Zote became a honorary part of the family, her attitude changed a little - makes sense, she does soften a bit over the course of the AU. Their current dynamic is a bit sibling like. Well, the kind where one bullies the other, but is equally as defensive if anyone else tries to do the same. They still bicker all the time, it's inevitable as their personalities clash with each other, but there is a degree of understanding between them. Hornet can see through his lies easily, and relates to his wish to push everyone away as a response to trauma.

Vyrm, similarly, can also relate to some parts of Zote's past, mainly the desire to live up to his parents' expectations and to prove himself. But at the same time, he does find Zote's rambling to be a bit much. He tolerates his presence and even acts friendly towards him, and he definitely sees him as a member of the family, but they're not very close. Zote is a bit afraid of him since he was the one who first found him in Greenpath, and he can't get rid of the mental image of Vyrm covered in blood, ripping an animal to shreds. Especially since he's right about the size of what Vyrm usually hunts.

Grimm sees Zote as entertaining. He doesn't exactly bully him, that's not his style and he does feel pity towards him, but he enjoys hearing him make stuff up about various things. His tales from his travels are particularly amusing to Grimm, as they're almost always completely made up. Grimm likes to "fact-check" him, which usually ends in Zote struggling to keep his narrative and giving up. But since he's part of the family, it means Grimm is still protective of him. Even if Zote himself finds him unsettling and is afraid of being left alone with him hahaha

I love the idea of Zote finally accepting that there might still be family he could belong to, he spent all those years thinking he's better than that, but deep down he really needed to be a part of one. It just so happens that he got "adopted" by a bunch of traumatized freaks, but maybe that's exactly the kind of family he needed

[zombiebabysitter]

Leggo my Leg-o || Charlie & Felix

LOCATION: Wormwoods (The Leg) TIMING: Early April PARTIES: Charlie (@zombiebabysitter) & Felix (@recoveringdreamer) SUMMARY: Charlie's determined to touch the leg. Felix doesn't think it's a good idea. CONTENT WARNINGS: Parental death

“I’m going to spray the anarchy symbol on it.”

Charlie knew this whole idea was stupid, okay? But he was still going to do it. If he had the chance to do whatever the shit he wanted to, he was going to do it! With all the activities he seemed to want to get up to lately, he’d found someone to join him in the chaos that was touching a giant bird leg. That’s how Charlie had found himself standing with Felix in front of the fenced off giant fuck you bird leg. “Sure you’re down for this? I don’t plan on paying. That fee is fucking outrageous.” Charlie told Felix as he looked over in their direction with a flash of mischief in his eyes. This was their last chance out of this.

Charlie looked back over at the giant chicken leg, It was gigantic, it was scaly, and it had four clawed toes. There seemed to be birds perched on the top, but Charlie couldn’t be fucked to make out what kind of birds they were. “This thing is ridiculous.” He found himself muttering. “I mean, is it… is it fucking real?” He tilted his head, what kind of Disney Imagineer went fucking wild out on the coast of Maine and decided to make it everyone else’s problem? 

Charlie stared down at the ground for a while, glad he’d decided to go when not many people were there. There was one lone guy standing at what appeared to be a gate, and Charlie could only assume he was the sad excuse for a security guard. “We should probably approach it from the back.” He decided with a slow nod of his head, a plan beginning to formulate in his mind. “First it’s Worm Row, now it’s the fucking Wormwoods. What is it with this town and worms?” He asked, shaking his head in disbelief before letting out a sigh and hiking it towards the back of the leg where the guard was out of sight.

Felix had had no real intention of getting this close to the leg. It felt like a bad idea wrapped up in another bad idea with a crumbling of more bad ideas added as a topping. They knew how things like this worked in Wicked’s Rest. Rocks popped out of the ground, and people who touched them turned into monstrous versions of themselves and became obsessed with the mines. Goo ran through the streets like flood waters, and anyone who made physical contact with it turned into a statue for months and months. There was no telling what touching the leg might do to people, and Felix didn’t particularly want to find out firsthand. But this stranger, this man who didn’t seem to know much at all about Wicked’s Rest or how it operated, was going to touch the thing with Felix there or not. Wouldn’t it be better if he wasn’t alone for it?

So, here Felix stood. In front of a giant bird leg with the jaguar spirit in their body snapping his jaws and stretching his legs and begging for a chance to be set free. The jaguar had had some interest in the leg since its appearance; the hungry kind of interest, the kind that was hard to ignore. Felix wondered if it was an instinctual thing, the sort of thing that made an appearance because birds had been playing prey to cats for centuries now. Felix shifted their weight as they stared up at the leg, discomfort spreading as they continued forcing the jaguar down. 

“It’s not that weird,” they commented, realizing as the words left their mouth that they might be a little desensitized to things like this now. Was a giant leg really that much weirder than a person turning into a jaguar or goo turning your friend into a statue? “Um, yeah, sure. The back.” Maybe they’d get lucky and the guy at the gate would catch them. Felix got the feeling that not touching the leg was the best case scenario here. “There’s a — um, a cultural significance. To the worms,” they offered, shrugging a shoulder again. 

—

“Sure, not that weird.” Charlie echoed with a roll of his eyes. “How long have you lived in this town to form that kind of opinion?” He found himself asking with an arched brow. The longer he stared at the giant bird leg thing, the more he found himself becoming less inclined to touch the leg. He’d heard about the goo, how it froze people in it. What would happen if he touched the leg? Would he fucking sprout feathers and take flight? Well… actually, that sounded kind of cool, he wouldn’t be opposed to that.

Charlie leaned to get a view of the man that was stationed in front, relieved when he couldn’t see him. “I can’t see him, he can’t see me.” Charlie muttered before taking a running head start to jump the fence. His boot almost got caught, but he was able to yank it free before completely eating shit. “Cultural significance? Really? Maine? Worms?” Charlie questioned the other with an incredulous expression. “I seriously doubt it, I really do.” He muttered before taking another step forward toward the leg, crouched a bit as if it would help him avoid detection. So far, so good. Charlie swallowed as he looked toward the top, all the birds perched on it. 

Something about the stories he’d heard from this town wasn’t sitting right with him all of a sudden. What if instead of sprouting wings, his face turned into a bird face? He couldn’t risk that he had to fly out for a photoshoot in New York soon. How does one explain bird face to management? You can’t. Charlie turned to look at Felix, clear hesitation emanating from the other. “Fuck it.” He hissed before pulling the can of spray paint he’d tucked into his jacket. It was bright red. “I’m going to spray the anarchy symbol on it.” Charlie told Felix before tiptoeing towards the leg. He wasn’t going to touch it, was only going to tag it. That’s totally fine, right?

“I was born here,” Felix admitted, a little sheepish. Sure, they’d had that stint of living in the woods after their mother’s death, but… those woods had still been Wicked’s Rest woods. Things didn’t get less weird when you ventured out of town and into the forest. The giant leg sticking out of the ground in the woods now was proof enough of that. They wondered if they’d have more of a reaction to things like this if they’d grown up somewhere else, but at the same time… Well. Growing up not human shaped the way you saw the world, didn’t it? Felix shared their body with something their mother had always described as an ancient protector, which allowed them to shift partially or fully into a jaguar at will. Was a bird leg in the ground really that weird, with that in mind? 

They glanced towards their newfound companion, wondering how much different it was to grow up with no knowledge of a world full of supernatural things. What might he say if he knew about Felix’s jaguar? If he found out about the Grit Pit, the things that happened there? Given his reaction to the leg, Felix thought it was probably a good idea to ensure he didn’t find out about the Pit. He seemed like the type who’d want to volunteer, and… humans never lasted long. Felix had no desire to see this guy spread across the floor of the ring. 

He blinked as Charlie jumped the fence, somehow surprised as if this wasn’t the whole reason they’d come out here. Deftly, Felix climbed it as well, catlike and silent in a way that seemed to clash with their uncertain nature. “Every place has culture,” they said as they landed. “Every person does, too. It might not be something you’ve heard of, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Wicked’s Rest’s culture is weird, sure, but it’s still… important.” They blinked as Charlie pulled out a can of spray paint, shaking their head as they reached out to put a hand on his arm. “Hey, no. That’s — What if it’s alive? You can’t go spray painting living things. Or dead things, even. It’s… Even if it’s a piece of something that died, it might have had… you know, a family. Other things with giant legs that — that care about it.” They tried not to think of their mother, killed in her jaguar form and treated as an animal after, left in the woods until their father found her body. Just because you didn’t understand something didn’t mean it wasn’t important to someone. Felix knew that firsthand. “I don’t think we should… mess with it at all.”

—

Charlie hesitated as Felix admonished him, and deflated. Felix was right. “Right, right.” He put the can away and crossed his arms, staring at the thing. “Well, it’s not… doing anything but collecting birds at the top,” he noted, pointing to the flock of different birds perched up high. He stared at it a little longer, it didn’t move. Charlie cast his gaze up at the top of the leg, noting the large gnarled four toes that resembled branches more than toes. “This thing is wild,” he marveled aloud, tilting his head up to get a better look at the thing. It was scaled, and some people had already left their mark on the thing, putting stickers on it. “Looks like I’m not the only one that came here with a set idea.” He muttered as he got a closer look at the “hang in there kitty” sticker. 

“So, what do you think it is?” He asked Felix, stepping back to be closer to the other. “I mean, I’ve heard theories that it’s some kind of deity, another person said the world is made on the back of a person and this is that person trying to erupt from the earth…” Charlie blinked, staring at the giant leg with a face full of wonder. 

He got another look at Felix, then frowned. “Listen, I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” He told the other, sighing. “I’m just so set on trying to get into trouble that I don’t stop and think about the consequences of my actions.” He thought back to the goo that Felix had told him about online, he didn’t want to end up cursed because he touched the thing. “You think something bad would happen if we touched it? Like the goo you told me about?” His face contorted to one of worry, as if Charlie was finally listening to Felix.

_____

There was some relief as Charlie put the can away, though Felix felt a strange sense of grief in their chest at the sight of the graffiti and stickers already marring the leg. They tried not to think about their mother in those woods, tried not to think about how cavalier people could be about things they convinced themselves no one could possibly love. Cautiously, Felix took another step towards the leg, pulling their sleeve down over their hand so their skin wouldn’t touch it as they began trying to peel off one of the stickers.

“I think… I don’t know. Maybe it’s a warning.” It made sense, didn’t it? With all the other omens happening around town. Maybe the leg was a part of that, an added aspect. The sticker that had been clinging to it came off against Felix’s shirt, and they quietly moved to the next one, still taking care not to touch the leg directly. “My mom used to say that the Earth had a spirit inside it, just like people do.” Granted, when she’d said people she’d meant balam, and when she’d said spirit, she hadn’t meant soul the way one might assume from the context Felix provided. But it still seemed apt. “She’d always say that it got happy and upset, just like we do. Maybe… Maybe we’ve pissed it off. You know? Or maybe it knows something’s coming, and it’s trying to warn us. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if it’s for me to know. For any of us.”

Another sticker came off, and Felix moved to begin scrubbing at a spot of red paint someone had left on the surface of the leg. They glanced back to Charlie with a small smile and a shrug. “I don’t know,” they said again. “It’s hard to predict that kind of thing. But… I think even if nothing bad will happen, you shouldn’t go touching stuff just to touch it. Like, I wouldn’t — I wouldn’t want a stranger to come up to me in the street and touch me just so they could say they had, you know? I think… when you do things like that, there should be a purpose behind it. Touch a stranger to pull them out of the way of a car, but not just to touch them. Especially not without asking.” As if to demonstrate this line of thinking, they pulled their hand back and pushed their sleeve back up the moment the spot of paint they’d been rubbing at was cleaned away. “Your first intention should always be to help. Right? That should be first.” 

—

Watching as Felix began to peel off the stickers, Charlie let out a breath through his nose and pulled his own sleeve down and began to help the other in their endeavor to remove the graffiti. It was the least he could do, he supposed. Sure, he’d expected to come out here and do something crazy, maybe get chased around by some dude with a baton, but now here he was cleaning up a giant fucking chicken leg in the middle of the woods with some person he really didn’t know. 

He began picking at the sticker with the fabric covering his hand, listening to Felix as they spoke about the Earth having a spirit. “Lindz, the singer of the band, she believed in Wicca.” Charlie began to say, looking over at the other every now and again as he continued to pick off the sticker. “She said everything had a soul, from the trees to a rock on the ground. Everything had it. She had a real reverence about everything.” A sad look overtook Charlie’s face as he stared at the leg. “I think she’d agree with you. That this leg deserves to be respected. She’d probably be picking these stickers off right along with us.” 

“I dunno if there’s a spirit, but there’s a lot about the world I don’t know.” Charlie supposed, shrugging his shoulders as he looked up at the birds perched up high in the air. “But I think you might be right, about the warning thing.” Charlie shuffled back and forth on his feet as he thought about the implications of a giant fucking leg sticking out of the ground. Sometimes the sky made a scary fucking noise too, so… there really was a lot he didn’t understand about the world. If zombies could change the course of his life, then anything was fair game, wasn’t it?

“Last time I had an intention to help, things went south.” Charlie spoke, his voice going somewhere else as he relived that moment in the cemetery with his bandmates. Their screams, how helpless he felt. Charlie stopped scraping off stickers to pull up his right sleeve, revealing the gnarly zombie bite mark on his forearm. “Got this because of it.” He stared down at it, a sad look in his eyes as he realized how astronomically fucked his whole life was. He was never going to live a normal life. He was never going to go on a world tour, never going to die and stay dead. No, he was going to come back as a zombie. 

“I think we got off on the wrong foot.” Charlie decided, looking over to Felix with a wry smile curled on his lips. “I’m Charlie, and I promise I’m not an asshole, I’m just… confused about a lot of things and don’t know what to do with the emotions.” He let out a mirthless laugh. “I guess I’m having a rare moment of clarity before the dread threatens to set in again.” He decided aloud, staring up at the leg again. He truly had no idea what he was doing with his life or what to do next, all he knew was if he stopped moving forward, he’d crumble under the immense weight of the world.

_____

His mother had never really been the religious type. She spoke, sometimes, about growing up in a Catholic household, though she admitted that she hadn’t enjoyed it. She didn’t want to raise her children to carry that guilt in their chests, didn’t want them to feel as if they were doing something wrong just by existing. Felix wondered, sometimes, what she’d think of them now. Would she be disappointed? It was hard to imagine she wouldn’t be. They were disappointed in how they’d turned out.

They listened as Charlie spoke about his friend, recognizing from his tone that she was someone who wasn’t around anymore. They offered him a small, sympathetic smile. “I don’t know what my mom believed… religion-wise,” they admitted. “But, um… She liked stars. She used to say that when we… When we’re finished here, the pieces of us that make up who we are go back there. That, uh… That our bodies are made of the same stuff as stars, so our souls probably were, too. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but… I like to imagine she’s there, you know, when I look up at the sky at night. It’s better.”

If the leg was a warning, Felix thought it must have been a bad one. After all, things would have to be in dire straits for the universe to think they needed an omen this undeniable. Even people who wrote off every other strange aspect of this town couldn’t deny the giant leg sticking out of the ground, and maybe that was the point. Maybe it needed to be big and wild and undeniable in order for it to do what it was supposed to do.

They glanced back to Charlie, thinking of all the times their own attempts at helping had gone sideways. It was hard not to think of Leo, of how Felix had been so sure that they were saving him only to damn themself in the process. “I think it matters that you tried,” they said quietly, trying to cling to that same line of thinking for themself, too. “I think it has to. Nobody — Nobody gets it right all the time. I don’t even think anybody gets it right most of the time. But it matters that you try. It still matters.”

The bite mark was recognizable, and Felix sucked their teeth as they glanced away from it. They wondered if it had come from a normal person — someone whose mind was altered, somehow — or if it was from someone like Monty. If it was the latter, did Charlie know? Did he understand what it meant? Felix didn’t think they ought to be the one to tell him. Not when they hardly understood that sort of thing themself. 

They let out a quiet laugh at Charlie’s reintroduction, nodding their head. “I’m Felix,” they replied. “I’m not an asshole, either. Or, uh… I try not to be. Maybe sometimes I fail, I don’t know. I think everybody’s an asshole sometimes.” 

—

Charlie listened as Felix spoke about his mom and the stars and how everything was connected. It sounded peaceful. Charlie wished he believed in something. Maybe it would make the idea of dying so much less terrifying for him. “Very Lion King.” He noted with a soft but playful smile. “I’m sure she’s watching over you, yeah.” Charlie spoke with a nod of his head as he crossed his arms over his chest, taking a step back from the leg. 

“Still sucks that I couldn’t, y’know?” He shook his head, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. “I dunno. Probably shouldn’t be having this deep a talk with someone that doesn’t really know me. Makes me feel like I’m fuckin’... dumping on them for no good reason.” He admitted, pulling his sleeve down to rub the last of the spray paint off the thing’s leg. “There, like it never fuckin’ happened.” Charlie noted with a quick nod of his head. “We should probably… get the fuck out of here before we get caught.” He told Felix with a frown, thinking of the guard that was probably asleep up front or something.

As Charlie hopped over the fence, he took one last glance at the giant leg. Nothing that big meant anything good. That thing was attached to something, probably. Or at least, it was. Where was the rest of it? Was it underneath the leg? Was the leg detached and the rest of it roamed elsewhere? There were a lot of questions that opened itself up like a can of worms. 

“Well Felix,” Charlie started as they walked away from the scene, “I don’t think you’re an asshole at all. Like, the opposite actually. You care a lot, even when the thing isn’t something other people would think to care about. You made me think differently tonight.” He nudged the other softly, playfully. “And I think you’d be a cool dude to hang around.”

______

Felix let out a little snort at that, barely managing to hold back a joke that it was probably closer to Jaguar King than Lion King. It was the kind of thing that might have been funny to someone who knew a little more about them, but probably wouldn’t make much sense to Charlie. “I don’t know if I believe it,” they admitted, “but I think it matters that she did.” Whatever happened to the dead when they were gone — the ones who weren’t hanging around as ghosts — Felix wasn’t sure it was any business of the living. 

“Yeah,” they agreed. “It does suck. And, you know, I think, uh… I think it’ll always suck. You’ll always think about how you tried and failed. But… Maybe sometimes, it’s okay to focus more on the first part. The trying instead of the failing. I know it’s not exactly easy to do, trust me, but… I think we’d all lose it if we couldn’t, you know? I think… It’s really important to remember that the trying matters. That next time, you might try and not fail. Otherwise, it’s like… People stop trying at all. And that’s where people get lost. That’s where we lose the parts of ourselves that matter. Not by failing — by not trying to begin with.”

They offered Charlie a small smile, shrugging a shoulder. “I don’t mind,” they admitted. “The deep talks, you know. I don’t mind them. It makes me feel like I’m… I don’t know. Good for something.” Like they were more than just a fighter in a cage, waiting to get their hands bloody. They liked that feeling. They liked the feeling that came with cleaning off the last bits of graffiti from the leg, too, liked how it felt like an accomplishment even as they followed Charlie back to the fence knowing that someone would come back tomorrow and do it again. It probably didn’t matter much, in the long run. They’d tried to do something good here, and it would all be undone in the morning. But right now, in this heartbeat, it mattered. Right now, it meant something. Attempting to follow their own advice, Felix held on to that.

Following Charlie away from the leg, their smile widened just a little. “I try not to be one. I, um… I don’t think you’re an asshole, either.” But they thought he might want people to think that. Some people did, they knew; it was easier, sometimes, when people wrote you off at first glance. It was easier to let yourself feel like the one in control of that. “And you’re cool to hang around, too. We can do it again sometime, if you want! Just, um… maybe without the giant leg next time?”

—

As they walked away from the leg, Charlie couldn’t help but feel guilty for wanting to be reckless in the first place. Felix had made him feel like the leg was more than just a novelty, but something to be respected. And with all that talk of the goo they’d had over the internet, he wasn’t so sure he wanted to touch the thing in the end. God only knew what would happen to him. Maybe it had some kind of strange toxin on the skin or something.

He couldn’t conceal the smile that spread on his face when Felix told him he was cool to hang with. That probably wasn’t totally true, but he appreciated the lie nonetheless. “Yeah, do something not stupid. Can’t say I’m good at that, so you might have to come up with the idea.” He told the other with a self-deprecating chuckle.

“You should take me to your favorite place in town, like a shop or place with good grub or something.” He suggested, elbowing the other gently. “I’m still new in town, so I don’t really know what’s good and what I should avoid.” As they walked away from the leg, Charlie noticed the lone guard asleep against the post of the fence. “That’s… yeah, that’s what I expected.” He spoke with a sigh. “We weren’t exactly sneaky.”

_____

“I’m probably not the best at that, either,” Felix admitted with a laugh. They didn’t go around touching giant legs all willy nilly, but… Hadn’t they heard, from several different sources now, that they were stupid? Wasn’t that the first word most people used to describe them? Leo had used it so often that it might as well have been their name, still utilized it even though their relationship had ended. Felix was stupid, and they knew it. But it was nice that someone thought they weren’t, even if it was a near stranger. Even if he’d probably change his mind.

They offered Charlie another smile, shrugging a shoulder. “I don’t know if I’m, uh… the best tour guide. You might not like the things I like. But, hey, I’m down to try! I, um, went to this place where you have to, like, talk to the wall to get in. That was cool. I’d, uh… I’d stay away from the community theatre, though. They’re shrimp right now. I don’t know if they’re always shrimp, but they’re definitely shrimp right now.”

The guard let out a snore, and Felix huffed a quiet laugh. “Come on,” they said, gesturing for Charlie to walk ahead. “We should probably let this guy sleep.”