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imjusttpeachy · 3 years

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sleepy angel. (c.h.)

Can I please request some cute corpse husband fluff. I really want something adorable and cute with him. Like playing with the readers hair and cuddles and that. -anon

okay yall i hope this isn’t too weird but i saw a tiktok abt it and thought it was the cutest thing ever and just— i needed to write about it. pretty short but i’m just getting back into writing sorryyyy

please check out the warnings!!

playlist

the licks - lavender kiss

wet bandits - movies as friends

puma blue - want me

dre’es - warm

daniel ceasar - get you

summary: reader is feeling a little cuddly but doesn’t want to disturb Corpse during his stream. who knew the floor could be so comfortable?

word count: 944

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, dom/sub undertones???, basically you sit on the floor and he plays with your hair pls don’t read if uncomfy with stuff like that

•••

You didn’t consider yourself a clingy girlfriend.

No, not at all.

It wasn’t clingy to want to be around your favourite person at all times, just to be sure that they’re safe and happy and not too stressed, right? Just to be sure.

Well, that’s what you told yourself anyway as you crawled out of bed and shuffled toward your boyfriend’s office where he was currently streaming. He probably still had a few hours left, but your skin was itching to feel his touch. You had already spent the past couple hours smothering yourself in his hoodie and comforter, reveling in his addicting smell. Though, even with the soft plush completely surrounding you, you couldn’t shake the feeling of just needing to be near him.

You shouldn’t distract him— that was the last thing he needed when he was already so anxious during streams, but it couldn’t hurt to just sit with him, right? It may even be relaxing to have you there, just keeping him company.

Pushing open the door to his office slowly, you peeked in through the crack, eyes immediately spotting that messy mop of black hair only illuminated by the monitor’s light in front of it. You found it odd at first, that he liked playing in the dark, but realized how much smaller it made the room feel therefore being more comforting to him. Finally gathering all your nerve, you pushed the door open and slipped inside the dark room quickly shutting it behind you. You felt kinda creepy, hiding in the shadows and against the walls of the room but you didn’t want to scare him at a bad point in the game and embarrass him in front of his audience. Watching his monitor from over his shoulder, you thought of a plan as you waited for the round to end. You didn’t want to distract him, so sitting in his lap was a big no; glancing downward though, a grin began to pull at you lips as you finally figured it out.

The game went on for maybe another minute or so before the ending screen played and all the characters began transporting back into the lobby— it was go-time. Silently slinking down to your hands and knees, you slowly crawled over to the side of the chair before hooking your chin over his thigh and gazing up at him. You felt his body jerk slightly at the pressure on his thigh, his gaze shooting down from the monitor and locking onto yours as you grinned at him from the floor. He gaped at you for a second before his hand shot out to mute his mic.

“Baby, what-“

“Just wanna be with you,” You could hear the confusion in his tone before you cut him off with your quiet mumble, sighing softly and closing your eyes as you settled in your place, hands folding to rest in your lap as to not accidentally reach out and wrap around his leg as well. Though, as the room settled into silence your brow furrowed as you lifted your chin off of his thigh to look up at him, mind beginning to race with the thought of making him uncomfortable. “Is... Is that okay? I’m sorry I should’ve-“

“No, no it’s okay bunny, I was just surprised.” It was his turn to cut off your nervous rambling just as you began to spiral, his hand coming down to rest against your jaw tilting your gaze back up until it locked with his again. His eyes drifted over your face as you looked up at him with probably the most lovesick expression painted all over your face, nuzzling into the warmth of his hand. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as you settled your chin back over his thigh, sighing in content. Your eyes were fluttering closed when he spoke up again. “Are you sure you’re okay down there?”

A soft hum was your only response as you shuffled closer to him, finally giving in and wrapping your arms around his calf; he tensed for a moment and you were just about to unravel yourself from him again when he relaxed before a large hand found it’s place atop your head. You could practically feel yourself melt into him as he began to card his fingers through your hair, another soft hum escaping your lips in content as his nails scratched along your scalp. Chuckling softly, he leaned back toward him set up and reached for his mic, the hand in your hair still carding slowly through your locks causing you to shiver every so often when his rings ran along your skin.

“Hey, sorry, (Y/N) just needed to ask me something.” You giggled softly as he lied right through his teeth to his stream-mates. It was harmless though, just a little funny; you couldn’t hear them anyway. Even if you could though, all you could focus on was the hand running continuously over your head despite the game starting up again.

“Nah just what I want to eat, we can literally never decide what to have…” His words trailed off of your focus as your body relaxed even further into his. The soothing motion of his hand beginning to lull you to sleep no matter how much you tried to fight it off. His thumb began to run along the cheek that wasn’t smushed against his thigh as you floated in and out of consciousness, his touch so gentle you’d begin to think you’re made of glass. You could barely make out his mumbled words as his soft touches finally plunged you in the depths of sleep.

“Sweet dreams, princess”

•••

When your eyes fluttered open again they were immediately met with pitch black, which would’ve startled you if not for the solid form resting halfway on top of your body; your mouth pulling into a wide grin as you felt the slow breaths of your person warm the crook of your neck. Reaching toward your nightstand, you pat around blindly until your hand lands on your phone— as much as you didn’t want to move, you didn’t know how much time has passed since you had joined Corpse in his office. Squinting as the light from your phone flooded the room, you quickly turned down the brightness before looking at the time, confirming that you definitely didn’t have anywhere to be for at least the next few hours.

However, as you continued to stare down at your phone you began to scroll through the seemingly never-ending mentions, you only became more and more confused. Finally biting the bullet and tapping on one it immediately opened your screen to Corpse’s Instagram— but more importantly, a picture of you.

There you were, completely relaxed face smushed against his thigh as you slept soundly, but that wasn’t all. That signature hand had taken it’s place carding through your hair just as he did to lull you to sleep. Your heart was already fluttering as you stared at the photo on your screen but you think it might’ve stopped as your eyes caught the caption.

corpsehusband: “sleepy angel”

•••

@.valkyrae: was this during the stream? omg corpse you liar

@.sykkuwu: u guys are so cute

@.jacksepticeye: SIMP

@.bretmanrock: jealous 🙄 corpse baby i thought we had something

@.tinakitten: okay loverboy

•••

hey guys long time no see! i was gonna make a post abt why i was gone for so long but i think that’d be overkill. i’m okay now and i’m very excited to keep writing for you!

i think i’m gonna branch out to other fandoms as well but idk yet. i’m working through the requests in my inbox rn so i’m gonna do those first. gonna open up drabble requests too!

okay that’s it! thanks for reading as always, let me know what u think down below or in my asks! love you guys, hope you’re doin well <3

#peachyrequests #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband x you #corpse x you #corpse imagine #corpse husband imagine

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now-im-a-belieber · 3 years

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I DEMAND

BABY FEVER HCS W POSTWAR ROE RIGHT NOW 😭😭

xoxo, 🤡

the way you have stormed into my inbox coming DIRECTLY AT ME WITH THIS, i have to apologize for how absolutely carried away i got with these o o p s

• you cannot tell me eugene roe would not be the world's best father

• the patience of this man

• the CARE

• i'm imagining it's HIM who comes to you with the wish to start a family

• bc when he finally gets home you just really want him all to yourself

• and he very much obliged you at first

• but he's had a lot of time to dream about the future and all he can see is a big beautiful family with you

• and he's very serious about bringing up the whole thing

• like he makes it a sit down conversation

• and you're worried for a second before he addresses anything because he's prefacing way too much

• but when he finally asks to have kids you're all for it obviously

• and the whole process is all very dear and planning for names and schools is takes up most of your free time

• like you gotta talk him into date night bc he wont stop reading advice books (tell me im wrong)

• and then comes an actual little tiny human the two of you are responsible for

• and you're so taken with how in love eugene is with the new little life that you immediately decided to have another as soon as possible

• bc like i said he's THE PERFECT FATHER

• you're never happier than when that man and your child share quiet nights in, marveling over how your dreams were a reality now

• and when shit gets hard and the nights are long and you feel overwhelmed and unsure gene is right there reminding you everything is okay

• reminding you there is no one right way to parent

• assuring you that all your hard work is paying off and that you should get some rest and let him stay up late to calm your restless child

• i wanna address the fact that he is total stay at home dad material

• he is a pro at running your house and home while you go out doing whatever it is you do

• like

• you can't tell me gene doesn't meal plan

• you can't tell me he doesn't go about grocery shopping like it's a damned mission from Sink himself

• he's got lists to keep track of his lists ya know

• this man can multitask like no one's business

• he's got some project halfway finished on the table while he's helping the kids build a popsicle stick house in the living room and he's cleaning up along the way

• and you're always surprisingly shocked when you get home to find the house in order and the kids contently reading or some shit and eugene finishing the laundry with a smile on his face

• you get the kids ready for bed and then he gets you ready for bed and that routine has saved your lives a couple times

• bc on the bad days or during fights or when life gets too real, you can always rely on the nightly routine you have set in place with your family who relies on the flow all the same

• your family life functions and thrives on routine

• but what about when yall get bored of the same old?

• what about a family vacation?

• eugene has every last detail planned out

• obviously

• he has the kids and your bags packed before he even has his own shite together which isn't much anyway

• and his sole intention, no matter the trip is, is to find somewhere you all can go where he can sit back and relax and watch you all have fun

• and once the kids are old enough to go off and make friends by the pool or whatever gene starts lamenting over when they were really little

• and it's not hard for him to talk you into adding another little babe to your family

• how could you no

• you'd have as many as he wanted

• and would marvel over his patience during their tantrums

• and the way he worried over their well being as he trusted them to walk ahead of you two on the way to the park or the movies

• and the way he would drop everything to help with homework

• or the way he couldn't stay grumpy after a long day when one of the kids asked to help make dinner, turning the whole process of cooking into a family affair

• i'm gonna stop now but i could go on forever

• he's the p e r f e c t f a t h e r

#not sure if this is even was what you wanted but this is all i came up with sorry 😅#eugene roe #band of brothers #band of brothers fanfic #eugene roe x reader #mid fic crisis creations

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gardenerian · 3 years

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happy monday! a few housekeeping notes:

i'm tracking a tag! as of right..... now. i wanna hype yall up more 😤 so, if it tickles your fancy, please tag me in edits, updates, anything you wanna share! i'm tracking #gardenermel (there are too many people named mel on this website, this is the best i got ajsdhf)

also: about the 5+1's. you are welcome to send in prompts. i promise i read them all, and i enjoy brainstorming for them! i will absolutely keep them and work on them as the inspiration strikes. but i'm not going to put any timeline on them - i find that i fight myself on that 😅 i'm really focused on my WIP at the moment, so i'm keeping them in my inbox for now.

BUT - if yall are okay with me turning them into shorter, headcanon-y, hybrid ficlet posts, let me know! i can make little scenes out of them instead of fuller fics. i wouldn't do this with all of them or anything, but it would allow me to put more ideas out there so we can chat. let me know what you think!

that's it from me! hope everyone has a great day 🍅🌿☀️

#i'll reblog this a couple of times #updates!#look at me go

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ace-aro-fandroid · 3 years

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Hi, i have so so many asks in my inbox and i cant respond to them individually so ill just make one post and go

Thank you to every person who messaged me nice things about the blog, or who messaged me asking if im okay. Yall are super nice and i appreciate it.

Sorry i disappeared. I just havent had the energy or time for this blog. I'm glad yall enjoy the content i already posted though

Im okay. Got correctly diagnosed and medicated after 7 years of worthless fucking doctors ruining my life. Got commonlaw married. My cat died. I got a job as a server and I teach voice lessons on the side, which lets me pay my bills AND save money to buy land for the landback plan. Got a neat tattoo. I was part of the Pfizer vaccine trial back when it was being made, so as a part of that I got vaccinated very early and I'll also be getting the booster shot very soon. I live in an apartment and my living situation is stable. I'm writing music and me and my friends are attempting to start a little band. I'm about to start EMDR for the first time, and after that I'll start poledancing classes. I'm writing a comic and hopefully one day I'll be able to get it drawn and published. I've fundamentally changed as a person in so many ways, mostly good, but some bad. Some days im filled with the warmest exhilarating joy from just being me, some days i want to erase myself entirely. Life is constantly exhausting, and the noise of being alive is so loud that i constantly ache, and sometimes I can barely handle it but almost every day I get to come home, shower, put on warm and dry clothes, eat a meal i cooked and am proud of, and watch some silly little show with my partner, who is the love of my life.

So i guess if youre anything like me, if you were abused, if you were raised in a cult, if you've been mentally ill since you were conscious, if you grew up queer in a violently anti-queer environment, if you never got to just be a fucking kid, if you feel like your past and future were stolen from you before you even realized who you were, then please please keep going. Even if you feel like you aren't managing, remember that you're still breathing, and maybe you're BARELY managing, but you're managing. And you're fighting. And as long as you're still fucking breathing then you're still fighting. And remember that the existence of all the worst days PROVES the existence of the best days. Your ability to feel crushing, suffocating rage and sorrow PROVES your ability to feel soaring joy and pride one day, even if you can't right now.

I know this might seem all melodramatic and out of left field just coming out of nowhere on a Data fan blog, but this is the only social media i have, and this is where i reach the most people, so i wanna say it all here. Consider this a sign if you're looking for one. Keep going, you'll have good things someday. You will. You will. You will.

I hope everyone that reads this has something very cozy and wonderful happen to them today, and i hope things get better for everyone very soon.

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shuahoonie · 4 years

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you [tom holland] - seven.

PAIRING: tom holland x female!celebrity!reader

SUMMARY: ah, to be young and in love. it sounds great if only you and tom were actually dating out of pure love and not for the sheer reputation of your careers. it also should be great if you two actually got along, but life isn’t that easy.

WARNINGS: mostly swearing! alcohol consumption! a whole lotta fluff on this one yall. it’s haters to lovers / fake dating au so take that information as you wish! also, their relationship is improving yall 🤧

WORD COUNT: 5.2k

SONG INSPO: harry styles - to be so lonely

A/N: hiya babes, again, its day n of quarantine. i feel awful that i’ve gone this long without an update. would totally understand that you had to reread this whole series to find out what the hell is going on lmao. also, quarantine life really ruined my general schedule like now, i start my days at 3 pm and it ends at 7 am. obviously, i’m not doing well.

also, everytime i try to write it’s always like 4 am so there’s prob a lot of errors on this. i also had the initial plan to cut this chapter in two parts but figured you guys deserve this bc i’ve been gone for way too long. [it was way past 6 am when i finished this]

hope you guys are safe. spam my inbox, tell me what you’ve been up to this quarantine! stay at home and wash those hands!!!!! sending all my love ♡

UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY 11 PM CST WHENEVER I CAN [I MEAN WE’RE IN LOCKDOWN. PLS PESTER ME TO UPDATE SO I CAN BE PRODUCTIVE]

gif credits: @tomhollandcouk

You took a look at the girls and sure enough, they were watching the two of you and were whispering amongst themselves. You didn’t know who they were so you were assuming they were on Josh’s guests.

You weren’t one to start fights however, you were extremely petty though. It’s a habit you’re trying to get rid of. “Hey, Tom?”

He hummed in response. “Do you want to finally get them off your back?” You asked him. He stared at you for a moment before nodding.

“I’m going to do something but promise me you’ll forget it as soon as it’s done.” You disclosed, not even knowing why you’re actually going to do it.

“Okay...” You knew he was getting curious. “What-”

You grabbed the side of his face and kissed the corner of his lips. To say that both of you were surprised was an understatement.

Your lips lingered on the corner of his. As soon as you saw the girls with their backs turned against you two, you pulled away.

You could easily see Tom’s ears turn red. You weren’t sure why, but you were too distracted by the fact that you actually did that.

You also felt yourself getting hot. You were sure that your face is burning, however, you were unsure of the fact that maybe it’s burning because of the stunt you just pulled or because of the alcohol in your system.

“It’s definitely the alcohol,” you murmured.

“Sorry, you were saying something?”

Seemingly lost for words and embarrassed, you told Tom “I need another drink.”

If anyone asked you what just happened, you probably won’t have an answer as you were confused as well. That’s why you were practically running to the open bar, leaving Tom on the dance floor, with the look of bewilderment painted on his face.

“Tom!”

He turned his head around, looking for who could have possibly called his name. Upon seeing who it was, he greeted her with a huge smile on his face. “Liv, congratulations! It was a wonderful ceremony.” He said genuinely.

“Aw,” Olivia cooed in delight. “Thanks, Tom! We’re happy you could make it.” She beamed.

“Would’ve never missed it,” Tom smiled.

“Oh, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but have you seen Y/N?” Olivia asked, looking around.

He felt himself turn red, which Olivia noticed but chose not to point it out. “She told me she was getting herself a drink...”

“That bitch never learns,” Olivia murmured to herself. “Tom, can you do me a favour? Can you please keep an eye out for her? She tends to drink a lot at weddings and-”

All of Veronica’s words came flooding back to Tom, knowing that he was supposed to stop Y/N from grabbing another glass. “Right, of course.”

“She doesn’t have a problem!” Olivia quickly disclosed. “It’s just- She tends to do a lot of weird shit while drunk.” She chuckled. “I mean look at where you two are now. None of this would’ a happened if- Oh, I’m sorry.”

“S’okay, Liv. I know.” Tom shook his head, politely dismissing Olivia. “Uh, Liv, if you don’t mind, I’m going to look for-”

“Oh, no, you’re all good.” Olivia smiled. “I have to meet with Josh in just a few minutes anyway.”

Tom congratulated Olivia again for the beautiful ceremony before he left. As Tom was looking for Y/N, he found you leaned against the bar with a drink in one hand and a phone on her other.

“Y/N.” Tom called, putting his hand on your shoulder.

“Holy fuck-” You almost spat your drink. “Jesus Christ, Tom, you fucking scared me.”

Tom chuckled. “’m sorry, darling.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to pick you up,” Tom said as he saw the drink on your hand and grabbed it “and to stop you from drinking.”

You furrowed your brows at him, “Why?”

For a moment, you could’ve sworn you saw Tom shift his eyes over at your lips. That’s when you realized that you were pouting and quickly pressed your lips together.

“’cause you’ve had enough drinks for tonight,” Tom simply stated. “Why don’t I take you back to your hotel?” He offered.

“I’m good, Tom.” You said “People aren’t looking, you can quit acting like you care now.”

Tom chose to ignore the last part and pulled out his phone. “I’m texting Veronica that we’re leaving.”

“Seriously, Tom, just let me be.”

“Y/N, I’m just looking out for you. You’ve had a couple of drinks already and apparently, Zoë needs you to be up and well tomorrow morning.” Tom said, the frustration was getting through him.

“Tom-”

“I’m serious, Y/N. I will carry you to my car if I have to.”

All you could do was glare at him.

“You’ve been frowning for 10 minutes now, your face is going to get tired, darling.” Tom commented as he stole a quick look at you, only to find you with the look of annoyance plastered all over your face and your arms crossed.

“I can’t believe you actually carried me! It was so embarrassing, you dickhead.” You grumbled, feeling shy since quite a few people did see his stunt and found it absolutely adorable.

“I did say that I was serious,” He pointed out as he did a shoulder-check before making a turn.

“Don’t even know why you’re driving me back to the hotel. I could’ve called someone, ‘ya know?” You were coming up with ways as to how you can avoid spending time with Tom, which was undeniably impossible since he is your boyfriend after all.

“Nonsense,” Tom pulled over at the front of the hotel, stepped out of the vehicle to give his keys to the valet and opened your door. “I would rather drive you back and know that you’re safe.” He said as he offered his hand for you to take.

You were reluctant at first, however, you still took his hand. He was being nice and you had to respect that.

Actually, you did notice that Tom was being nice within the past few weeks that you’ve started to date. Him becoming genuinely nice was starting to become a problem, especially when you’re involved with a lot of fake dating stunts.

It pulled your heartstrings in all kinds of different directions and you know it’s wrong, which is why you’re trying your best to put those feelings aside.

“Thanks Tom, I think I can handle myself from here.” You said as you carefully pulled your hand from Tom’s.

He frowned, “I have to take you up to your room, darling. Don’t you know that there are endless possibilities of what can happen to you just from the walk from the lobby to your room? Especially the lifts.”

You stared at him for a moment. “Well, I wouldn’t say I’m that paranoid but knowing you would never budge, then I guess you can walk me up to my room.” You said, not really going to fight him off. You already fought that battle earlier and you were left embarrassingly defeated.

The walk to the room was quiet, which was exactly what you needed. You were exhausted from today’s events, not to mention that you also had to wake up extremely early to get ready for your hair and makeup.

God, I can’t wait to take all of these off, You thought to yourself.

After what seemed like forever of looking for your keycard, you finally got to open your door. You turned to Tom who was leaning against the doorframe. He had the sleeves of his white button-ups rolled up to his elbows and he had a small smile plastered on his face, even though his eyes were nearly hooded from what seemed to be an exhausting day as well for him.

“Thanks again, Tommy,” you said softly. “Today must’ve been extremely exhausting for you.” You were starting to feel guilty as you felt like you made him jump through hoops just to take care of you when he had no obligation to do so.

“S’alright, darling.” He said before letting out a yawn. “Well, I best be off then. Good night, my darling.”

Tom had a couple of steps in before you shouted for his name, causing him to halt in the middle of the hallway. He turned to look at you, wondering why you called him.

“Do you wanna stay for a while? You must be exhausted and I don’t think I can live with myself if I let you drive whilst so.” You asked shyly. You weren’t heartless. You knew how to appreciate people’s efforts and right now, you had to swallow that pride of yours to show that you were thankful for Tom and his efforts.

Tom had to make sure that he heard you correctly. After all, you were the same girl who was reluctant to spend time with him for most of the time.

He had a loopy grin painted on his face. You weren’t sure whether it was meant to tease you or it’s because he’s getting sleepy, either way, it was enough to make you roll your eyes at him.

“Why are you smiling like that? Just-” You pinched the bridge of your nose, not knowing that it was possible to feel both annoyed and embarrassed at the same time. “Just stay with me for a bit so you can rest.” You mumbled the last part.

“Are you sure?” He asked for clarification. “Think I can drive for at least 30 minutes more-”

“Tom, just get in here with me.” You said as you took a hold of his hand and pulled him inside your hotel room. “If you think I’ll let you drive for half an hour when you’re nearly about to pass out then you’re dead wrong.” You pointed out as you closed the door.

“Are you getting soft on me now, Y/N?” He teased with a playful smirk on his face.

“No,” You denied, drawling out the ‘o’ as you kicked off your heels and pushed them to a side. “It’s called showing gratitude for being there for me.” You said, trying to sound casual as possible.

“Well,” Tom propped off his shoes and made his way to the bed “I like this side of you, darling.” He grinned.

You gave him a sarcastic smile before you turned your back and grabbed some change of clothes from your suitcase.

As you were in the bathroom to get yourself changed and try to get out of the bridesmaid dress, you’ve come across a tiny problem.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You hissed at yourself as you tried to unzip the back of your dress, failing miserably. “I have already prepped myself for the idea that I would be in the comfort of my sweatshirt.” You said to the mirror, not knowing where to pour the frustration running through you.

You opened the door slightly and found Tom who was sitting on the bed comfortably, his feet propped over the tower of pillows and his back rested on the bed frame.

“Tom?” He looked up from his phone to find where you called him from and when he saw you peering from the bathroom, he had his eyebrow raised. “Can you help me unzip my dress please?” You asked in a quiet voice.

“Sorry, what was that darling?” He asked and when you tried to repeat it again, not changing the volume of your voice. “Y/N, you have to speak up. Can’t hear you from here, darling.”

You sighed and opened the door wider, “Tom, can you unzip my dress?” You practically yelled. “-please.” you added awkwardly.

Tom blinked a couple of times before scrambling his way to the bathroom, muttering soft “yeah”s along the way.

As soon as he reached the bathroom frame, you quickly turned around so you could get this thing over with. Tom moved your hair to the side before finding the zipper of your dress. As he carefully unzipped your dress, you could feel the slightest touch of his fingertips grazing on your skin.

The trails of his touch sent you into shivers. God, am I that touch-starved? You thought. For you, the process was excruciatingly long. In reality? It probably only took like 30 seconds or less.

Shaking it all off, you quickly said your thanks and practically slammed the door on his face.

God, if you’re listening, I know I’m a handful but dying from embarrassment isn’t how I saw myself passing, You practically yelled to your thoughts.

After giving yourself a couple of minutes to change into your oversized sweatshirt and some sleeping shorts and also giving yourself to calm down, you grabbed your makeup wipes and made your way to the bed.

You tried your best to keep your cool and act as if nothing had happened. Act like you didn’t want the ground to swallow you whole.

You and Tom were sitting in silence: him scrolling on his phone and you trying to remove your makeup. The keyword was trying as you barely had any energy left to do anything and removing your makeup and fixing your hair felt like absolute chores.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” You asked, turning to Tom as you continued wiping your makeup off.

“Sure, whatcha got in mind?” He asked, putting his phone down and passing you the remote.

You hummed, waiting for the TV to finish loading the selections that they have on demand. “Ooh, they have Hereditary. I’ve been wanting to see the film for a while and I heard good things about the film.”

“Isn’t that a horror film?” He asked and you nodded. You could see that he was trying his hardest to assess whether he agrees with the film or not.

Of course, being the annoying person that you are, you teased Tom. “Aw, are you scared Tommy?” You cooed.

He rolled his eyes and denied your accusation. “’m not scared.”

“It’s settled then,” You grinned. “We’re watching Hereditary.”

As you were at least twenty minutes into the film, you took a quick look at Tom who was evidently engrossed with the film. You scooted a bit closer to him which he failed to notice, bringing a devilish smirk on your face. You slowly leaned in, just enough for your breath to hit his skin, and whispered “Tom” in an attempt to scare the poor guy.

Your tiny prank worked considering he practically jumped, almost making him fall off the bed. You, on the other hand, couldn’t stop laughing. “That was not funny, Y/N.” He said as he returned back to his spot, only this time, he had his head resting on the bed frame while his back was supported with the pillows.

“I beg to differ,” You said teasingly “Do you want to get room service? I’m kind of hungry.”

He just shrugged, saying that it doesn’t matter whether you want to or not. However, you were hungry and you’re not about to carry on watching the film with an empty stomach.

You quietly ordered room service as Tom was busy watching the film. He looked adorable, if you were being honest. He was hugging one of the pillows and used the same pillow to rest his chin on.

You were debating whether to wait for the food to arrive or fix your hair. Your hair was styled in a half-up braid, tiny flowers delicately placed within the braid, while the ends of your hair were curled. The hairstylist took a significantly huge amount of time to style everyone’s hair which is why you had to wake up at the crack of dawn. No wonder you were exhausted.

You chose to wait for the food instead and settled next to Tom. You two were clearly immersed with the film and you both flinched at the sound of the knock on the door as the scene of Charlie’s head rolls and turns into a ball pops up on the screen.

“Jesus christ,” You swore under your breath as you left the bed to go answer the door.

“Aw, are you scared, Y/N?” He mocked, which you rolled your eyes in response.

“Shut up, Holland. I’m not the only one who’s scared here.” You retorted.

You opened the door and thanked the staff that brought your room service, not forgetting to hand them a tip.

“I ordered strawberry and banana pancakes,” You told Tom with a childish smile.

“It’s midnight and you ordered pancakes?” He asked with an amused smile.

“I was craving pancakes,” You pouted. “We can share, you know? You didn’t tell me what you wanted so I just ordered food for myself.”

“S’alright, darling.” He answered “Don’t worry about it.”

“We can totally share, Tommy. I didn’t expect they’d give me this much so I won’t be able to finish this by myself.” You said as you showed him the huge stack of pancakes.

He just laughed and nodded, giving in because you weren’t going to let him just watch while you ate.

“Oooh, I also ordered tea because I remember that you like tea.”

He hummed as he approached you by the table. You were setting up the pancakes and tea that you ordered. “You remember, huh,” Tom mumbled softly as he watched you carefully set the teapot down.

“’course, I do.” You answered without hesitation. “You practically shunned me for drinking coffee that one time when you visited me on set.”

“Darling, you were on your third cup.”

“So? I needed caffeine.”

“If you needed caffeine, you could’ve easily had tea instead of your third cup.” Tom pointed out as he poured tea on his cup.

“Tea is for the weak,” You mumbled which earned a dramatic gasp from Tom.

“Take it back,” He said in disbelief.

“Tea is for the weak,” You repeated firmly just so you could annoy him even more, a smirk plastered on your face.

Tom pulled you in closer to him and started to tickle your waist, “I won’t stop till you take back what you said, Y/N”

You were squirming away from him, “Tom, stop,” you yelled in between giggles. “I might drop my pancakes, please.” You were trying your best not to tilt the plate and drop your food.

“Not hearing the magic words, Y/N” Tom teased in a sing-song voice.

“Okay, fine!” You gave in, laughing. “I take it back. Tea is great.”

“It is, innit?” He sighed in agreement, making you shake your head in amusement. “Don’t worry, darling, I’ll make you a great cup of tea.”

You started taking a few bites of your pancake before you sat on the edge of the bed, bringing your plate with you and had your complete focus on the screen. You and Tom were still watching Hereditary and you intend to finish the film, even if the film is starting to creep up on you.

Tom sat beside you, “How can you eat and watch this?” He asked.

You just shrugged. “I’m hungry, nothing can stop that.” You took another bite before you offered Tom the pancakes. “Do you want some?”

“Give me a bite,” He opened his mouth in response, leaning closer to you.

“Do it yourself, you big baby.” You laughed, almost handing him the plate before you realized, “Oh, I don’t think they gave us spare utensils though.”

“I can use yours, I don’t mind.”

You offered him your plate but Tom, instead of grabbing the plate, insisted on opening his mouth, insistently asking you to feed him. “Tommy, why are you acting like an actual child?!” You were joking of course, however, you can’t deny that this whole new dynamic that you two were having was refreshing to the eyes.

“C’mon, darling. Just give it” He replied and had his mouth open once again. “I’ll take the flowers and pins off your hair while you eat-”

“Alright, fair enough.” You agreed since you were getting the higher end of the deal. With the amount of hair pins on your hair? You were hitting the jackpot.

“I’ll do it if you also feed me.” Tom added.

“Eh, whatever,” You shrugged and took another bite of your pancake.

Tom stood on top of the bed so he could sit behind you, definitely on board with helping you with your hair. He sat behind you with his legs crossed, setting a comfortable position for him.

You felt the slight touch of his fingers graze on your neck, as he brought all of the hair to your back. As he ran his fingers softly through the ends of your hair, it was enough to make you yawn. You love it when someone plays with your hair, which perfectly explains why you like going to the hairdressers.

Trying to fight off the drowsiness that was slowly taking over you, you figured you’d cut a piece off of your pancake and feed it to Tom. You sliced a piece off with your fork and hovered it over your shoulder.

Soon enough, Tom generously took the bite and carried on with removing the pins and flowers that were carefully placed on your hair.

The process was going on for a couple of minutes now: you watching and feeding Tom with your shared pancakes, and Tom willingly taking out the pins out of your hair.

It also wasn’t long when another jumpscare appeared on screen, making you jump subtly. Maybe it wasn’t subtle as you thought, since Tom was snickering behind you.

“What are you laughing at? Maybe you insisted on helping me with my hair so you can hide behind me because you’re scared too.” You pointed out, being petty and all.

“Am not,” He grumbled, slightly offended. “Maybe I do wanna help.” He then outstretched his legs, saying that he can feel his leg getting numb.

You started to feel bad, since he didn’t have any obligation to do any of it. “Tommy, it’s okay. You can stop now.” You said, twisting your body so you can take a look at him.

“What? No, you’re fine, my darling.” He said turning your body upright, making you face the television again. “S’alright, you’re alright.” He muttered softly and went back to your hair.

You mumbled a soft ‘okay,’ too shy to say something else. You kept taking turns with feeding Tom the pancakes and taking a few bites yourself. You weren’t gonna lie and tell people that this, this, time with Tom was suffocating because it’s not.

This was the first time you ever felt truly comfortable with him. It truly felt like you were spending time with someone you loved. However, that idea itself terrifies you. The idea made you feel like you were walking on thin ice and you know you’re bound to sink anytime soon.

“Tom, here, take the last bite.”

Tom gratefully took the last bite and said, “Thanks, darling. Now put that plate on the table so we can prop ourselves properly on the bed.”

You obliged and as you did, you heard Tom dusting off the bed. Walking back, you saw him look so restricted with his slacks and button ups made you feel bad. He also looked so exhausted which, obviously, made you feel even more bad. “Tom, why don’t you just spend the night here?”

“I beg your pardon,” Tom cleared his throat. “Did you just suggest that I should spend the night here?”

“Y-yeah, I mean...” You trailed off. “You look exhausted and it would probably make me worry less if you did stay.”

“If it’s alright with you, then I wouldn’t mind.” He said softly, smiling.

You felt your cheeks burning and you really had to act fast. You remembered you wore your sweatpants earlier, as you were getting your hair and makeup done, and figured maybe Tom could fit in it.

“I’ve already worn this earlier but only while I was getting my makeup and hair done.” You pulled your black sweats out of your suitcase and offered it to Tom. “I’m not sure if it fits but it’s better than sleeping with slacks on right?”

“Are you trying to see me naked?” Tom smirked.

“W-what? No, you shithead.” You stammered. “I’m trying to make you feel comfortable. Also, if you are wearing nothing underneath then maybe keep the pants on and reevaluate why you went to a wedding without underwear?!” You popped off.

“Relax, Y/N, I was kidding.” He laughed, visibly amused at the look of distress on your face. “I’ll try it on. Thank you.”

Tom stood up and began unbuckling his belt. He was about to take his pants off when he gave you a teasing smile, in which you realized that you were staring. You turned around, absolutely embarrassed, and head soft chuckles from Tom.

“Okay, I’m decent.” Tom yelled, which you took as a proper signal and turned around, only to find your sweatpants fit snugly on Tom. “It’s a bit snug, but I think I’ll manage.” He commented as he also began unbuttoning his shirt.

You weren’t going to lie and tell people that you think that Tom isn’t fit. Because he is. He is very fit. His fans know that, you know that, everyone knows that. So, would they blame you if you stared at his fit body, absolutely flustered? Of course not, because they know.

However, what they don’t know is how hard you’re trying your hardest not to stare because, you of all people, know how you don’t like when people stare at your body.

“So, whaddaya think?” He turned around and lifted his bum, asking jokingly: “Too much?”

“Eh, it could be better.” You said, playing along.

“Oh c’mon,” He groaned in exaggeration, “People think I have a great arse.” Tom pouted while he returned to his position. This time he climbed up the bed, resting his back against the headboard, and had his legs spread.

“You know what? They’re right,” You said as you climbed up the bed as well and sat between his legs again. “You do have a fabulous ass.”

“Now, you’re just saying that to flatter me so I can continue removing pins from your hair.” He mumbled softly, feeling the return of his fingers back on your hair.

“Yeah,” you sighed in content. “I’m not letting you go until every hairpin is gone, babe.” You replied, not even thinking about what you were saying. Your eyes widened. Babe? You called him babe? Bitch, you’re losing it.

You heard Tom chuckle, “Oh, so I’m “babe” now, huh?” He teased.

“That wasn’t me, that was the exhaustion talking.” You mumbled shyly, a poor attempt to mask up an excuse.

“Right,” He drawled, obviously aware that you were just making up an excuse for this dubious slip up. “S’okay though, I liked it.” He whispered on your right ear, making you squirm as you found it ticklish.

“Why-” You whipped your head back to face him, “Why would you do that, I’m ticklish, Tom”

“’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Tom laughed, “Can you please call me “babe” again?”

“No.” You replied and just heard him let out an exaggerated sigh.

You two were busy bickering and being distracted by each other, that you didn’t know that the scene you two were watching was the last scene of the film.

“Huh,” You huffed. “Wasn’t expecting that ending.”

“What’s with all the butts?” He pondered out loud.

“I don’t know but I want that image out of my head. Do you have any movie suggestions because I know you don’t like horror.” You asked Tom as you scrolled through the movie selections once again.

Tom peered from behind you and rested his chin on your shoulder, “Oh, have you seen Coco?” He asked in suggestion, seeing the movie from the list.

“The Pixar movie?” You asked and he nodded. “Nope, I haven’t yet.”

“We should watch it then,” Tom said “It’s a great movie. I was in bits when I saw it and I was on the plane then.”

“Is it that sad?” You gasped as you clicked on the movie, waiting for the screen to finish loading.

“Oh, I was full on sobbing, darling.” He confessed, his chin still resting on your shoulder.

As soon as the screen finished loading, you hit ‘play’ and said, “Well, I’m about to let a movie ruin me then.”

You were right. The movie already ruined you and you two were only half-way through. Tom had finished removing all the pins and flowers from your hair five minutes after the movie started, so he had the chance to watch the film properly.

Tom is now lying down comfortably, though he was elevated enough to watch the movie properly. You, on the other hand, are cuddling Tom. You had your head rested on his chest while he had his arm around you, his chin merely touching the top of your head.

How he managed to trick you into this you ask?

“Darling, I think you should cuddle me.” Tom requested as he ran his fingers through your hair one last time. He just finished removing all of the hairpins that managed to cause you pain and suffering all day.

“Why?” You asked appalled, not meaning to ask it with such tone.

“Because I’m shirtless and I’m cold.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have removed your shirt?”

“But it’s uncomfortable.”

“I don’t care”

“Okay, then I’ll just drive back to my hotel then, even though I’m pretty exhausted. I’m sure nothing bad will happen.” Tom sighed dramatically.

“God, you really are an actor, huh.” You snorted. “Fine, I’ll do it. I used to cuddle my friends anyway.”

“Are you friend zoning me?” He gasped, as he laid down.

“You are despicable, Holland.”

As you were half-way through the film, you can’t even remember how much you’ve cried already. You could hear the soft sniffles from the two of you as the movie progressed.

Your sniffles turned into full-on sobs when Héctor’s scene came on screen. He was singing to Chicharrón as a final ode before he passed on with no one from his family that were able to remember him.

“What the fuck is this film,” You commented in between sobs. “Why are they trying to ruin me like this?”

Tom rubbed your arm back and forth on, trying to comfort you. You were going through your packets of kleenex at rapid speed, as did Tom. You weren’t expecting to cry this much but here you are.

Tom wasn’t kidding when he said he was in bits when he saw this film.

“Tom, do you think they’ll room service us some Kleenex if we asked?” You asked him honestly, tears still spilling from your eyes. You knew your nose was red too because it started to hurt as you were continuously wiping it.

Tom laughed softly, crying too “’m not sure, darling.”

You lifted your head to take a good look at Tom, finding his eyes bloodshot red from crying and tear marks still visible from his face.

You used your thumb to wipe the tears from his face, making him laugh. “Why are you crying this much? I thought you’ve already seen the film?”

He lifted his shoulder in a half shrug, “’m not too sure. I didn’t expect I’d cry this much too.” He managed to chuckle.

“We really need to call room service for some Kleenex, Tommy.” You sniffled.

quick side note: i actually saw coco for the first time [as i wanted to stay true to what i was writing] and i was a mess. i wasn’t lying when i wrote whatever the reader went thru bc same.

TAGLIST:

@thomasthetankson @autty0314 @marvelous-tswiftfan @averyfosterthoughts @theolwebshooter @jackiehollanderr @sltwins @herondalescecilys @notjustpenandpaper @ihopethatwemeetinanotherlife @gothicwidowsworld @heartofholland @stxfxniexreads @peruvian-bae @hollands-osterfield @thenoddingbunny-blog @galacticstxrdust @sweartomendes @itsjstz @muade-mua-de @runway-to-my-aid @snowxbarryxendgame @cxlpxrnia @notasofti

CAN’T TAG:

@sectusempried

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neerasrealm · 4 years

Note

Describe your Jay Myles Planetary Go AMV- I want to know what you see-

FUCK DUDE THAT WAS FAST. ok ok fair. ok so to start off, i DO actually picture an AMV for this HDSGFDSHGJ ive never made an AMV before but god do i wanna. maybe i’ll attempt one in december when i have my christmas break off school?? i need an editing software fhdgdsjhfgsjd if any of yall know one thats free or cheap please lmk. the AMV itself i picture in black, white and bright pink. its inspired by another planetary go AMV, an undertale one from like 4/5 years ago. its how i first found the song so i always associated those colours with it lol.

I’m gonna go through it lyric by lyric and try to describe things the best i can DSHFGDSH im mentally ill sorry <3 ALSO this has a lotta spoilers for lore i havent talked about at ALL if yall wanna hit up my inbox after and ask for more explanation feel free lol

There might be something outside your window But you'll just never know I picture Jay standing by a window looking out it, on the second line he turns away and walks off. the art is white with black lines. There could be something right past the turnpike gates But you'll just never know we see Jay walking down the street holding a camera. He stops at the burnt down remains of Karen Doggers’s house, like in the fic i posted yesterday.

If my velocity starts to make you sweat Then just don't let go And if the heaven ain't got a vacancy Then we just, then we just, then we just, then we just Get up and go Just Jay looking around the house, again like in my fic. We see him get scared by Zalgo appearing behind him and we see him grinning wide, setting him up as a somewhat important character in the narrative. I think. During the instrumentals it’s the general credits and stuff.

Ladies and gentleman, truth Is now acceptable fame Is now injectable process the progress These lines are black with white lineart. We get shots of Doby just living his best life, being a murderer and having fun. The only colour on him is the pink of his goggles, which obscures his eyes.

This core is critical faith Is unavailable lives Become incredible now Please understand that With each line another character appears. Each one is another that works for The Operator like Doby does. ‘‘This core is critical’‘ is Dana (OC), ‘‘Faith is unavailable’‘ is Godfrey (OC), ‘‘Lives become incredible’‘ is The Operator, ‘‘Now’‘ is Toby and ‘‘Please understand that’‘ is our main man Doby

I can't slow down I won't be waiting for you I can't stop now because I'm dancing Some imagery of Doby running off away from Jay. This isn’t literally happening, it’s more a way of showing that Jay feels abandoned and betrayed.

This planet's ours to defend Ain't got no time to pretend Don't fuck around, this is our last chance More stuff showing The Operator’s proxies. Godfrey tells Doby not to fuck around and shoves him. Toby catches him and the other proxies all glare at him. Fuck Godfrey he’s the worst.

If my velocity starts to make you sweat Then just don't let go We see Jay and Zalgo sitting in a cafe together. Jay is obviously nervous about something, and sweating. On ‘’don’t let go’’ Zalgo grabs his hand from across the table 'Cause the emergency room got no vacancy And we just, and we just, and we just, and we just Get up and go Zalgo is the one saying the line about the emergency room. He’s convincing Jay to do his bidding. We see the two shake hands.

they want you to be (Who) they wanted to see (Go) kill the party with me and never go home We see Jay doing things for Zalgo, completely unaware that he’s being manipulated into doing his bidding. Zalgo pretends to help him. On ‘‘Who they wanted to see’‘ we see Jay being shown a picture of Doby. Who they want you to be Who they wanted to see Just leave the party with me and never go home We see Doby again, still being a murderer and having fun. On the last line we see him running along with Toby.

You're unbelievable Ah, so unbelievable Ah, you ruin everything Oh, you better go home Jay is the one saying these lines. He’s looking over photos and footage of Doby. He’s mad, he feels abandoned, and like Doby doesn’t care about what it is he’s doing. He wants his friend to come back home.

I'm unbelievable Yeah, I'm undefeatable Yeah, let's ruin everything, blast it to the back row Doby is the one saying this. He isn’t having fun this time though. He’s talking with Toby and Dana. On the last line Godfrey bursts into the room and gets mad at them

They sell presentable Young, and so ingestible Sterile and collectible Safe, and I can't stand it Godfrey summons The Operator and he tries to attack the three of them. Dana defends them, attacking The Operator on ‘’Safe, and I can’t stand it.’’ This is a letter, my word Is the beretta, the sound Dana yells at Toby and Doby to run of my vendetta Against the ones that planned it We see Toby and Doby run out of the shack and away from The Operator. They’ve never been able to escape him before, and they weren’t prepared to leave, so they’re scared.

If my velocity starts to make you sweat Then just don't let go We get a shot of Toby looking scared and nervous. On the second line Doby takes his hand 'Cause the emergency room got no vacancy Tell me who do you trust, do you trust And we just get up and go We see Jay laying in his bed, asleep. He hears knocking on the window and gets up. He opens the window and sees Doby grinning at him. He was NOT READY FOR THAT OK HE WAS NOT

Who they want you to be Who they wanted to see (Go) kill the party with me and never go home Ok this parts kinda fast but I’ll try to get through it. Doby and Jay hug, then it cuts to the two of them plus Toby sitting on the bed talking. On ‘’kill the party with me’’ Godfrey BUSTS into the room, attacks Toby and Doby and then Jay fuckin smacks him over the head with a baseball bat. The three of them start arguing and then Jay points at the window in fear. Who they want you to be Who they wanted to see Just leave the party with me and never go home Hobo Heart is at the window. This makes sense in context I promise. He motions for Toby and Doby to follow him. Doby and Jay exchange a look and Doby follows after him. Things get a little rough from around here to the end of the song im sorry HDSFGJDSGJ

You keep eternity, give us the radio Deploy the battery, we're taking back control Doby and Toby are the ones speaking here. They’re in Slender Mansion now, getting ready to fight. Engage the energy, light up the effigy We see Jay again, tying Godfrey to a chair like a reasonable human being. On ‘’light up the effigy’’ his phone lights up. Zalgo is calling him. No chance to take it slow By now I'm sure you know, know, know, know, know (one, two, three, four) We see Jay freak out and Z’s appear in his eyes. Godfrey climbs out of the chair and looks at him. Get up and go Jay, who’s now under Zalgo’s control, follows Godfrey out of the house

they want you to be (Who) they wanted to see (Go) kill the party with me and never go home Who they want you to be Who they wanted to see Just leave the party with me and never go home We see quick shots of various characters all fighting here, including Doby and Toby. Masky does something cool here but I won’t say what

Are we still having fun? Are you holding the gun? We see Doby and Jay recovering from a fight. Doby turns around and sees Jay, who points a gun at him. Take the money and run We'll never go home Jay fires at Doby and Toby lunges at him, fighting him until he runs off

I've got nothing to lose You've got nothing to say And we're leaving today We'll never go home Toby turns and tries to run over to Doby, but a huge crack in the ground appears. Toby tries to jump it but he doesn’t make it and is left clinging to the edge. We get a shot of Doby, laying on the ground, too pained to help his friend. Then we see Toby lose his grip

I think I better go now I think I better go now I think I better go now (go home) Gonna go now, gonna go now, gonna go now, gonna go now Go now, gonna go now Go home Some shots of Zalgo in his true form fighting against someone. Then it cuts to Jay stumbling through the woods. He stops against a tree, then collapses. A picture of himself of Doby flies out of his pocket and towards the camera. It’s the final thing you see.

#THIS IS REALLY ROUGH AND NEEDS MORE CONTEXT #BUT I REALLY WANNA MAKE THIS ONE DAY AAAAAAA #ask #anon #anonymous #third base #third base creepypasta #jay myles #doby doggers #ticci toby #dana punaise #godfrey #zalgo #I may change the ending and stuff idk

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hufflautia · 4 years

Note

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them. my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help.

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

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piraticalarchive · 3 years

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It's the end of 2020 and the start of the new year is here at last, and I wanted to tell you that despite the struggles we've faced this year, despite the hardships, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Because this year we found US again. We grew stronger - together - than we ever were before, and I have fallen more in love with you than I ever believed possible. I don't regret any of it, I only hope the new year is as full of love, hope and happiness as I've had with you this year. I love you.

hey hey hey - I was gonna save this. I really was. I was going to keep it in my inbox so I could scroll past it and smile every time, but, I want to publish it. I need to publish it. See, I’m bad at the talking thing. As you know. I’ve never been good at expressing myself through anything other than the written word, and my medication has made things like ten times worse with all the tongue tying lmao. So, if I saved this, and tried to tell you what I want to tell you now through words instead of writing - I don’t think I could get the message across.

I’ve rang (rung?) in seven years with you. I still remember the group chat when 2015 was coming up, and people kind of dropped off one by one because we were all in different time zones and soon it was just you and me. Watching, waiting - and then telling each other happy new year. The next year, I was with you. We drank horrible (no offense to all yall who like it but ugh) sparking grape juice or wine or whatever it was - and clinked our glasses together and sealed it with a kiss. Every year since, we have done something similar - though, thankfully, you have yet to offer me any more of that type of drink haha. There have been a lot of new years in my life - ones I remember, and one’s that (probably for the better) I don’t. I didn’t know that counting down to 2015 was really counting down to the biggest change in my life. That exactly 44 days later (on my blog’s one year anniversary) that I would be confessing the thing I swore I’d never confess. Uttering those words that I swore would never pass my lips with any sort of meaning, to anyone.

It hasn’t always been easy. Neither one of us are the easiest person to love. We meld together like - uhhhh. Fuck I had a metaphor and now I can’t think of it but like. Fuck. I don’t know. We blend together and become us very well, but sometimes our different... states??... can become very apparent. Loving you is nothing like I thought it would be. I used to write about love, shipped those little rp ships with every idea of ‘love’ I had in my mind. I took what I knew from books, from shows, from what I thought I had felt - and I thought I understood. But, boy oh boy, was I wrong.

Love is patience when you wanna drag the other person down the stairs by their hair because they’re taking too long to get ready. Love is pushing your pride to the side long enough to say I’m sorry because no matter how big your ego is, it’s not worth hanging onto to watch the other person suffer at your words and or hands. Love is support even when you fee like you don’t deserve it. Love is making someone toast because that’s all you know how to cook but you want to do something, so you try. Love is washing their hair because their depression is taking over and doing something even as simple as that just sounds like too much work. Love is “drive safe.” and “call me when you get there” and “please be careful taking Charlie outside. It’s slippery.” Love is the little things that add up to so much more. The kiss before sleep, bringing someone’s pills to them in the morning so they don’t forget when they fully wake up, holding hands walking through the grocery aisles because there’s just something so warm and comforting about your fingers interlocking with theirs - it feels safe. Love is sharing videogames and fighting over consoles (I’m kidding, we don’t really do that) and splitting up the chores so that one takes the dog out and vacuums and does dishes while the other takes care of cat litter and cleaning the bathroom because neither one of you want to do the other person’s thing.

Love is .. you. That smile you give me, the way your brow quirks when you’re trying to be funny or make me forget why I’m mad. The way you cut your own bangs at 2 am because you can’t sleep and gosh dangit they were in your face, how dare they!! Its the way you pull things off of shelves when we’re at the stores like “ooh do you like this, isn’t this cute?” with that beaming smile and that little laugh when I stare at you because god damnit I love you so much and sometimes I think I’m going to burst from it. Its the way you sit awake at a moment’s notice when all I do is say your name. Its the way we face our demons together, side by side, unrelenting. Love is the life you have given me, the things you’ve showed me - every day I wake up is a gift you gave; every laugh, every smile, every moment of wonder - I owe it all to you.

So here’s to us, love. Seven years down the road, older and (in my case, grayer. I’m still bitter) wiser. We’ve grown both as writers and as people - and I never thought I’d say it, but if we were a tumblr meme than the countdown on my wrist reached “00:00″ the day I met you. Do you remember that? Jeez that shows our ages I feel like lmao. My soul calls out to yours, I think it always has and I know it always will. I carry your heart with me ( I carry it in my heart).

There are so many things I still want to say, thoughts and dreams and wishes I don’t know how to express. But they’re you, they’re all you. And I guess the only thing I can say right now is, I’m yours, you know. And I’ll love you still in hell <3

#save ;#i'm saving this bc i want to be able to read your message when i want to even though its not in my inbox but #bye no one touch me i'm emotional #i'm in love dammit #emotions //#i had to tag it its literally that bad lmaoooo #long post //#twistedwit

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kuroos-babie · 4 years

Text

KuQui Headcanons

KICKING OFF #HBDCHIQUI WITH THIS YALL HAD THIS COMING I WARNED YOU NOW LET ME LOVE MY MAN

warning: disgusting romance and affection and kuqui being stupid

[ how we met ]

during our first year, i would be classmates with yakkun and we’d be bffs right off the bat

so i’d be part of their little group hehehe

yknow how yakkun and kuroo would always bicker right? we, the shorties, would always pick a fight with kuroo 2v1

but when kuroo fights back he’ll always target me bec hahahaha it’s just so easy to piss me off and get under my skin :D

so of course he takes advantage of that bec he’s a lil shit

but i will fight back >:( always a smack on his chest or his lower back

it’ll be like a Thing between us yknow

always play fighting and skinning each other’s knees 😌😌

[ confession ]

so this dumbass thought i like kai or yakkun

bec im always so affectionate with them but act like a fucken gremlin towards him >:)

but it’s bec whenever i try to show some ✨Affection✨ he:) always points it tf out and i would get :) painfully shy :)

loves to mess with me so he’d drop compliments and flirty comments bec he knows that i would Combust On The Spot :D

segway: my friends found out that if they call me cute while im play fighting with them i would get weak and flustered and just stop annoying the shit out of them haha

u bet this dumbass figured it out too and exploits it whenever he can >:(

when he decided to finally confess his undying love for me little crush he thought he’d at least get a good laugh out of my reaction even if he gets rejected

but surprise surprise 😌😌i like a dummy back😌😌

[ dates ]

our dates aren’t like Date dates per se,,

we’ll always just study in our fav little cafe and call it a date

we’d quiz each other while exchanging banter and sharing food (tf that’s my fav thing ever pls i need that rn)

some dates are just us walking around somewhere looking for food to eat and just talk and show each other funny shit we saw on the internet

and some dates are just us lounging on the bed or the sofa, watching cooking videos and weird documentaries

anytime and anywhere we’re together is p much a date so :DDD

[ how we show affection ]

as an Affectionate Babie 😌😌

he doesn’t mind me being sweet with yakkun or kai

bec we’re Bros, ya feel?

but when it gets a lil too much, he’ll pull me to the side and just wrap his whole entire body around me

loves sitting me down on his lap and just snuggles on to me while i do my stuff

also boops my nose all the gotdamb time >:(((

squishes my cheeks and kneads them like dough

also tolerates my shit all the time

even when i bite :D

i’d be biting his fingers, the base of his thumb, his cheeks, his shoulders

SJKDFSKDHFSD IM JUST SO GIGIL OKAY (idk what it is in english but it’s basically when you feel the overwhelming urge to squish something bec it’s too cute and lovely hhh)

when i bite i leave smol kisses and he just :’)

loves playing with each other’s hands and pressing kisses on the fingertips, palms, wrists, knuckles JUST EVERYWHERE

i very selfishly headcanon him to have Physical Touch as his love language so it’s how we show affection most of the time

but also Words of Affirmation and Quality Time :’D

[ random stuff ]

i am a very sleepy person in general and i get kinda grumpy when im sleepy

so when im feeling like needing a nap i would just lean on his shoulder and have a Quick Nap

he’d always have a hand on the side of my head to keep me from slipping

i would sometimes take his hand and lay my cheek down on it and space tf out

i told u idk how he tolerates my shit

his gallery is just full of extreme close-up shots of my face

his homescreen is one of those pics lmao

we dont have a decent picture of each other in our phones let’s be real

all aesthetic pics are taken by kai 😌😌ily man

he keeps extra hair ties on his wrist, pockets and wallet just in case i forgot mine

also extra lipbalm bec ur girlie has a propensity to pick at the skin of her lips until it’s bleeding so she can have no chapped lips 😌😌

i’d have a ton of lipbalm flavors so i’ll just ask him “what flavor of kiss u trying to have today?”

his choices: peach, strawberry, coconut, mango, cake

we always share clothes!!

mine are always oversized so they fit him just right

loves wearing my shirts bec they smell like peaches and vanilla

he’d be my harshest critic esp when it comes to cooking

i’d let him taste everything i cook and make him tell me exactly what i need to work on

it’s always “too much salt” or “undercooked” :(((( im trying

we don’t mind spending some time apart since we regularly update each other what we’re up to

wears black shirts when he’s trying to be Sexc bec this mfer knows how damn well it works on me >:(((

i would always talk about how much i hate him and how i wanna punch him in the face and kick his stupid shins

but he just laughs at me bec im saying all those while snuggling up his chest and making him pet my hair

you’d always catch us playing something like Wordscapes or Criminal Case, sometimes those hand games like thumb wrestling or ketchup

comes with me to all hospital appointments (i go every 3 weeks) and takes care of me when i get admitted (like twice a year lmao)

we’d live together after high school and just forget to get married bec we are a Pair of Dummies 😌😌

if uve reached this point, pls collect ur free kiss and a cat pic in my inbox mwa!!

#kuqui😈#hbdchiqui

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ruthlessnessisyourdesire-archive · 4 years

Text

Anonymous said:

What are some blogs that you consider part of your rp family?

> Aww anon this is a really cool question. Well I have a particular group of people that are pretty much my always follow. I know people do those follower forever but I haven’t done any before. I get overwhelmed as it is with the amount of people who follow me but some blogs that I will never not be following are:

@coffee-and-guns @theyearningtofly Uh hello. Have you seen the babes Lotus and Asuka? Feli has some dolls right here and I stan them to death. They don’t get the interaction or attention they deserve and I will fight until they do. Lotus is 60′s pre-tumblr babe. I’m talking OTP from the onset. He literally will destroy the city of Detroit for her. He will go to hell and back for her. It’s amazing how much this ship has taken over my life but our crazy amount of verses and aus is very telling. We have a ton of plot. Lotixty reigns supreme. And Asuka is my Connor’s waifu as well as Callum’s wife. Best babe. @diivinerose Daniela is not just one beautiful muse. She is so diverse in her three verses that she is pretty much a multi. Curly is my chaos doll but also a shy bean with such great ideas. Our aus are another wild treasure trove. Each verse has something favorite in it. Each rendition I love and DD60 considers Main D his true love. Mad D is the other half of the toxicity known as Corla with my boy Corvus. The ship of Main D and Connor was a surprise in the beginning. I didn’t expect it but I’m glad it happened. Cause I just love her clinical coolness against this supposed cool machine who has more emotion than he should now as a deviant. Best Babe. @stayhuman-genevieve @leaderawakened @pathdiverted Gen is amazing. Markus is tops. 52 is a babe. OK but also Amanda, Louis, Anarchy the list goes on. All of these muses are amazing and it’s just such a privilege to write with such a wonderfully developed original in Genevieve. She is 60′s weak spot. The ruthless one gave up Cyberlife for Gen. That takes some doing. But they have a ton of shit they went through including a terrorist takeover by that aforementioned Anarchy. We have such great plot ideas and I can’t get enough of them. Main Connor and Markus for my gal too. Main Markus all around. I love him damn it. Genevieve is also my Connor’s waifu. DD60 on the other hand.... just don’t let him alone with Corrupted Gen. OTP status right here. Best Babe.

@dcwnxism @soulxism @lethalxarsenal @wintcrcoded @resentfuldrcgon OK but here the list goes on as well. All of these muses canon and original are just amazing. Iron is the queen of angst. Hands down the best at making me cry. One of these days I’m gonna get her back for all the pain. lol Not only is Nines (now known as Cassius) my canon RK900 but my 60′s exclusive 900 bro. That took some doing let me say. Aiden is 60′s soulmate. Sixden is a ship I never expected but it snuck up on me. I love him. I love Lexi so much. She needs more attention. The one Gavin my Connor will put up with.... as an enemy of course. Oh and WuXian? Caleb loves him already. They will shine bright. Best Babe.

@creatorofclay

Did somebody ask for the only Kamski of my life? Well look no further than Kam/Ash/Clay right here not only making me appreciate Elijah but turning me to liking him as a character. I didn’t think much of him when I played the game. But let me tell you waifu right here writes him with such humanity (even when he’s being an ass) that gives such a new perspective. 60 is still on that creator nonsense but it’s in the demon au where he gets to shine with his affection or rather verbal brawls effectively with Elijah. My exclusive Kamski. Don’t @ me. Best Babe.

@rk800isalive @imabittercoffee

Waifu spotted! My platonic soulmate right here. Eme is someone who gave me a wonderful springboard for Sixty to get his hate on with Connor. That hate took a turn I never expected early on. These two wound up getting over their altercation at the tower. They wound up becoming siblings. The only Connor that 60 considers a brother in his main verse. Let me say the work up for this was some good old work. We wrote so many things with them and still do. I adore their human au. Let’s not forget Sierra. I love this bitch. She’s such a contrast to Caleb but man I’m digging it. Also she is the unofficial goth wife of Corvus but you’ll never hear it from him. Or...will you? thinksmirk Best Babe.

@et-liliium @musesdivine

My baby Cherry has wonderful original dolls and I still miss them. BUT I’m super excited to see Lily on her own blog and my babe slowly getting back into the fandom. Sixty is looking to corrupt that sweet flower but it’s Connor that is absolutely in awe of her. He is in love. Let’s not forget Lily being the good to Corvus’ bad. We got some good shit planned for them. She’s the android Suzanne pretty much ;) Seriously check out these wonderful female muses. They are amazing and deserve all the love in the world. Best Babe.

@robobiitch

Let me throw some love on Moe right here. Yall wanna see full on enemies with Sixty? Look no further but man we have some good ass plot with assassin au with a little dose of angst. Lust already hates/loves his brother-in-law in the other demon verse. The shenanigans are bound for some good shit. A wonderful Connor and that’s the bottom line cause ruthless sixty said so. Literally such a fun and cool person. I love plotting and just hanging. Best Babe.

@anderson-residence

Have you seen these muses? I love every single one and Alley always has something in my inbox that either makes me laugh or worry. lol Sending YK to Corvus is probably not the best idea but I love it. I love chatting about aus, plots and everything in between. Each muse is one I enjoy seeing and I really want to interact more with all of them. Sixty just wants to push Hank’s buttons and probably wants to kill Connor but.... lol Best Babe.

@rxseguided @repliicantceo

A literal bab right here. Jesse, Eli and Elliot are all originals that bring so much more to the plate. If you haven’t seen Jesse in action what are you doing? The evil bitch’s daughter herself? Well then sign me up. Cupcake is a doll and her muses are chef kiss. Got it? Good. Lust loves his angel mom but DD is also in love. ;) Elliot is legit one of Corvus’ official cronies. That’s an honor in the worst way possible. Gotta love that human sk verse with Corvesse. Best Babe.

@triptocained @syntheticisolation

Let me tell you all a story about a fed drenched in heavy rain..... No this isn’t a pun. I swear but Norman is literally a highlight and I’m looking forward to that enemies shit with Sixty. Bringing Jayden into the DBH universe is the best damn thing to happen. Danny brings him to life perfectly. I haven’t seen anybody else do this much justice. Norman is yours alone and deserves all the attention. Also let’s not forget Richard. Look I love this knife happy bastard. 60 still wants to show off Monica but he can wait as long as it takes. Always a pleasure to see on my dash. I’m in love. Best Babe.

@fearlessandchaotic

Original babes need more love and Hana his no different. Ely has such development and constant shenanigans I love to see on my dash. It’s always wonderful to see but also Sixty is over the moon for Hana. He hates to admit it but the best thing was coming back to his fiery fox. These two have such chemistry with their ruthless selves they’d sit around and poke fun at people instead of working on a case. Seriously go give the female muses their due love damn it. Best Babe.

@vexeddetective

Vex is a precious babe that I adore the hell out of. Sixvin is here fam. Sixty likes to push Gavin’s buttons. We all know how that shit goes down. I will legit protec this babe. Not Gavin tho. He can fight his own battles and most likely end up wrestling with Sixty. That might end up messy good. Also Lucifer.... whenever he pops up my gal Jade is just: well he’s tall and scary. She probably secretly has a soft spot for him. We’ll have to find out. Please go follow for these two muses. You know you want to bishes. Best Babe.

@swat-cptn-allen @det-gavin-reed

My canon Allen right here. There is no one else who puts this much love into this muse. Webby is a literal precious bean. Sixty loves and hates Joseph. DD is definitely sof for him. Let that sof boy show his dom ;) I love the way Allen is given more development and his own unique persona from the little we see in game. I never imagined liking this character that much but Webby certainly has made me a fan of him. Please go give my canon Allen some love! Best Babe.

@ambitiouslyruthless @fragmented-personage

Goov is a babe. I have followed them for a while now and Vius was always a unique bab to see on my dash. Sixty still wants to pounce on him. Results may vary into ruthless territory BUT let him love on this original muse. He deserves more attention and love. Let him be that bastard to Gavin. Such a unique portrayal of Gavin that is totally one of my faves to see. I’m excited for the werewolf/vamp thread. Also can’t wait to see what happens with them in their main verses. Best Babe.

@thirum-stained

Always a delight on my dash and one of the earliest people to give my blog here a chance. Luna is a doll who has so many amazing muses and not just in the DBH fandom. Vanessa is Sixty’s waifu. She snuck up on him by surprise. He never imagined to fall in love but he sure did here. I adore all of the muses you tackle. I want to interact more with all of them. They’re forever follows on my dash for a reason. Best Babe.

@theveryfirst

This is my one and only Chloe. My literal canon babe. No one else compares and Heather is an all around sweetheart with amazing ideas. The plotting is always something I look forward to as well as just being able to chat. One of the earliest to follow me and still going strong on that forever follow list. Sixty adores Chloe. He feels for her more than he’d ever realize. Until he does. Corvus is still waiting to gets his hands on this angelic android. Best Babe.

> There are so many of you who follow that are so talented. It’s near impossible to give love to you all but there are some new babes who just followed that I’m looking forward to writing with. <3

#ask database #identifying: inferior #//process:anon//#[random // replies]#[code: long post]#{{anon you have no idea how long it took me to write this}}#[code: positivity post]

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