#if you don’t know what san marino is: exactly my point

[mishervellous]

Which country is, in your opinion, the Ohio of Europe?

san marino

[eurotastic]

Eurovision reviews: Semi 2

These reviews are based on my personal opinions about the songs, and not their potential in the actual competition. Qualification predictions are coming up in a separate post.

San Marino: Senhit ft Flo Rida - Adrenalina

After a decade of giving us nothing but memes, San Marino have finally decided to get competitive for real, giving us possibly the biggest Eurovision meme of all time by featuring some rapper called Florida Man in their song. Let's be honest, Flo Rida isn't nearly as big as he was a decade ago, but he's still the most relevant global celebrity to show up to Eurovision for a really long time. I know fans are upset that an American is showing up to Eurovision with a song that he very obviously doesn't care about, but I disagree! San Marino has what, 50 inhabitants? A country that small has every right to recruit some help from abroad. This is a banger and a huge meme, what else could you possibly want?

9/10

Estonia: Uku Suviste - The Lucky One

Between this song and the song from last year, I'm starting to think that this Uku Suviste guy might be the most boring man on the planet.

2/10

Czech Republic: Benny Cristo - Omaga

Listen, I think this song is criminally underrated by the fandom, but from what I've seen so far the live vocals are rough. I'm obsessed with the official music video where Benny recreates Leonardo Dicaprio's iconic car door moment from The Wolf of Wall street, but I don't think the live performance will be anywhere near as great as the video.

7/10

Greece: Stefania - Last Dance

I think this song is trying way too hard. It's too fast and there's too many high notes, I'm getting exhausted just listening to it. The staging is looking stupid as fuck, which is fun. Whoever decided that Stefania should be surrounded by dismembered dancing gym shorts should win the Nobel peace prize.

6/10

Austria: Vincent Bueno - Amen

This is even more boring than the last song called Amen, which is remarkable.

2/10

Poland: RAFAŁ - The Ride

There's definitely a good song hiding in here somewhere, but honestly, it needed another singer. This geriatric boybander unironically wearing sunglasses indoors isn't doing it for me.

4/10

Moldova: Natalia Gordienko - SUGAR

The fact that we're not getting any cake-related murder on stage is a real letdown. I was expecting a fun mess on stage, but it looks like we're just getting a boring mess.

3/10

Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years

This band has the worst luck in the world. I think this song is great, but it's obviously weaker than Think about things, which was the kind of perfection that can't ever be recreated. The staging is looking fantastic, but I'm just so sad that they can't perform it live.

If Dadi should return for a third attempt at Eurovision, I fully expect a volcano eruption to prevent him from attending the contest.

8/10

Serbia: Hurricane - Loco Loco

I honestly find this song really forgettable, but at least these girls have a really great stage presence. I feel like I should have something interesting to say here but I can't come up with anything at all. It's probably a fan favorite for a reason but I'm just not having any feelings about this at all, positive or negative.

6/10

Georgia: Tornike Kipiani - You

After watching thousands of Eurovision rankings and recaps on youtube, I still can't remember a single note of this song. I really wish he would bring back the weird screaming about random nationalities from last year, because at least that was fun.

2/10

Albania: Anxhela Peristeri - Karma

I really feel like we have gotten this exact song from Albania 500 times in the last 10 years.

3/10

Portugal: The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side

I'm conflicted because on one hand I really enjoy this genre of music, but on the other hand this just feels like an album track.

4/10

Bulgaria: VICTORIA - Growing Up Is Getting Old

Victoria is basically just a Billie Eilish impersonator, but like a really expensive impersonator. This song might have the best staging of the year, and the song sounds fantastic, even if it's obviously very derivative.

8/10

Finland: Blind Channel - Dark Side

The year is 2008, I'm in 8th grade, me and my gang of nerds and emos are in recess listening to this song off someone's crappy flip phone. This is retro as fuck and I'm weirdly fascinated by the fact that the guys singing this are the same age as me and making this middle school throwback kind of music. Saatana perkele \m/

10/10

Latvia: Samanta Tīna - The Moon Is Rising

I mean, she's trying really, really hard to make something, but I have no idea what it is that she's trying to make. The whole "blood moon is rising" lyric really makes me think it's some kind of feminist statement about periods.

4/10

Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Tout l'Univers

Super unpopular opinion but I absolutely love the staging where Gjon dances like a pretentious art school weirdo. I am reminded of Loic Nottet, and that's pretty music the highest compliment I could give any eurovision contestant.

9/10

Denmark: Fyr Og Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden

I can't decide if this is endearing or repulsive. It's exactly like a Swedish, or I guess Danish dansband song from circa 1983 and I cannot for the life of me understand how this song ended up here. The danish language is the funniest shit in the world so it gets huge bonus points for making Europe endure 3 full minutes of guttural caveman noises.

7?/10

[chantylay]

Semifinal 2 of Eurovision is coming up. Here is my personal ranking:

Albania: people are sleeping on Karma. I think it's gorgeous and emotional. I'm hoping the juries boost this one a bit because I get the impression that the language barrier is part of the reason fans seem to struggle to connect with this one.

San marino: Adrenalina is fun and funky. Flo Rida or no Rida, Senhit is going to slay the stage, and I have no worries about this one going through

Latvia: another fav of mine that people don't want to acknowledge for some reason. Samanta Tina is really giving us everything with her voice, and the green outfit she picked for her performance is so fun. I really hope she manages to secure a spot in the final, but I do worry.

Finland: we do love to see rock at eurovision. This song has a very nostalgic sound for those of us who were young and angsty in the 2010s. I think Blind Chanel is comfortably in the final.

Serbia: Loco Loco is fun and silly. The ladies of Hurricane all have lovely voices and we know they can nail a choreography while singing. I look forward to seeing this live.

Switzerland: beautiful. I normally dislike when men put a lot of falsetto into their performances as it is rarely as nice a sound as their normal register, but Gjon's Tears really makes it work. The song is very emotional and we can expect to see it in the final.

Estonia: Lucky One is a nice little pop ballad, and while it might not be the most mind blowing song out there, I do like it.

Greece: Apparently this song is getting a lot of buzz, but I have never been a fan of the disco/electronica revival. Last Dance is nice and Stefania's voice is great, but I do prefer Superg!rl and wish she had kept some of that sound for her track for this year.

Poland: Is it generic? Absolutely. But it is nice and exactly what it is advertised to be. This will probably be too low on most people's rankings to quite get the points for qualification but it's a decent enough song by my personal preferences.

Iceland: 10 Years is not at all my genre, but it is quite sweet and also thank fuck they are switching up the outfits a bit for Rotterdam. The group is quirky and fun, and I do expect them to make it.

Austria: I have a hard time connecting with this song as the metaphors are a bit mixed, but Vincent Bueno has an amazing voice and a lot of charisma. This song might eek in and I suppose I can't be mad if it does.

Moldova: Sugar is fun and sexy. I can't exactly put my finger on why the song doesn't work for me, but I just find it a bit meh. The rehearsal footage suggests that it will be pretty fun to watch. This is another on that I won't be mad to see qualify over some of my other picks.

Bulgaria: Victoria's voice is lovely, but this song is so sleepy and a bit fake deep. People really seem to love this one, but I'm a bit bored whenever it's on

Czech republic: the song is fun and light hearted, but some of the word choice rubs me the wrong way.

Denmark: why is this closing the show? It blew right past retro inspired songs like Greece, Lithuania, and Iceland have and went straight to old fashioned. Like, I guess it's fun enough of a sound, and props to the gents for singing in Danish, but this song is gonna tank spectacularly.

Portugal: if I had a nickel for every song about a dutch sex worker this year, I would only have two nickels but it's weird that it happened twice. Memes aside, I find the lead singer's falsetto whiny and grating. The song in itself is pleasant enough, if maybe a bit off color given that I don't know if the woman it is based on consented to his writing it or if she is going to get anything for her life story being broadcast like this. So like, I see why some people do like it, but I am squicked.

Georgia: boring. I forget You exists when my attention hasn't been called to it and I can barely remember the melody when I it has.

[beansprouts]

Bean’s Eurovision 2021 Song Ranking: Part 2

Part 1 | >Part 2< | Part 3 | Part 4

29) Fallen Angel - TIX [Norway] I think Fallen Angel works really well as a song of love lost; the chorus is extremely singable, and you feel his pain in every word. But it’s also... cliche? In a bad way? The angel motif doesn’t go anywhere especially interesting or poignant, and the song itself is mildly pleasant at absolute best. I sing along to it when it comes on but I never purposefully gravitate to it, and it definitely doesn’t have that Eurovision epic winner material. And it’s not TIX’s fault that he isn’t KEIINO but listen I wanted KEIINO back so badly ok. continued under the cut~

28) Je me casse - Destiny [Malta] I love both girlpower anthems and saxophone-driven pop songs, so by all logic I should have adored this. On the other hand, maybe that’s exactly why I didn’t adore this.  Netta delivered a much more interesting “fuck off haters” kind of song with Toy a few years ago; when I first heard Je me casse it really just felt like Walmart-Brand Toy. The saxophone bits are good, but not good enough to carry the whole song. Everything here has been done before, and better. Destiny is a vocal powerhouse and this just seems like a waste of her talent. Check out the acoustic version if you haven’t yet; I think it works a lot better.

27) The Moon is Rising - Samanta Tina [Latvia] God, this song is so fucking weird. Internet cookies to whomever can tell me what this song is supposed to mean, because I am not getting that moon queen metaphor in the slightest, and there is just so much going on here, I get lost. On the one hand, I have to give props for how fucking bonkers this is. On the other hand, this also strikes me as a waste of a very good trap beat.

26) The Wrong Place - Hooverphonic [Belgium] Depending on my mood this is either a really relatable love song or annoying indie drivel.... Either way, while it’s good music, it feels very out of place here. 25) Mata Hari - Efendi [Azerbaijan] An excellent pop banger with very little soul or artistic merit to it. More than any other of the returning artists Efendi really did just ctrl+c and ctrl+v her previous dance song... “just like Cleopatra!” indeed. I actually like this song better, but like, ma’am, please put some effort in.

24) Love is On My Side - The Black Mamba [Portugal] This is really nice. The Black Mamba have a lot of genuine talent and even though this isn’t a genre I inhabit often, I definitely bop to this. It’s the kind of music my mom plays in the kitchen; I want to go to an open-air concert with some middle aged couples and eat nice cheese and appreciate the good guitar playing. But again, like Hooverphonic, the mild easy listening vibes feel out of place here, and I’m looking for that extra Eurovision je ne sais quoi and coming up wanting. 23) Amen - Ana Soklič [Slovenia] The superior of this year’s two Amen ballads. While a little cheesy like Rise Like a Phoenix before it (which apparently shares a co-writer, and it comes through), I think the big vocals work here. I also really like this arrangement; there’s an off note in the last part that I really like from a musical perspective. Then there’s the big backing choir entrance, which I’m a sucker for. I’ll be honest, I didn’t think Rise was a Phoenix was a winner either, and I was happy to have been proven wrong. Amen feels like as good of a song, but unfortunately Ana Soklič doesn’t quite have Conchita Wurst’s phenomenal stage presence.

22) Adrenalina - Senhit [San Marino] I remember when this first dropped with the Flo Rida interlude a few months ago, r/eurovision went absolutely buckwild and I was happy to join that hype train, with Adrenalina in my top 10 for a while. I still dance around to this song every now and then, but I’ve realized I’m not a big Adrenalina fan so much as I am a Senhit fan. She’s a queen and I’m looking forward to seeing her perform! Even if the song itself feels somewhat stale to me by now.

21) Birth of a New Age - Jeangu Macrooy [Netherlands] Birth of a New Age is so very sweet and uplifting and I’m glad it gets an autoqualification to the grand finals (because the Netherlands is the host country this year) since despite really liking the song, I fear it’s not musically interesting enough to get the points to qualify otherwise.

20) The Ride - Rafał [Poland] God I am so glad we’re having an 80s synthpop comeback. This is the kind of pop banger that we haven’t gotten in years, and I know it’s blatantly pandering to me and my The Weeknd highlights CD, and it’s working and I don’t care. I have a lot of fun listening to it, but it’s not winner material at all, lol.

[formula365]

Accountability goes a long way - Emilia Romagna Grand Prix preview

Lando Norris did something unusual for an F1 personality this week. Like other drivers from his generation, the young Brit is different from the traditional driver, with a more fun and relaxed approach to his life and career than we are used to seeing. This relaxed demeanour and his positive presence in social media and game streaming means he is used to being different from those around him in the paddock. However, his unusual actions this time around had nothing to do with his youth, but rather with his maturity. Put simply, Lando took responsibility for his actions, and apologised for them. And more than once, even.

First, over the team radio at the end of the race, he apologised for using some choice words to refer to Lance Stroll and his over-cooked attempt to overtake the McLaren driver. On Monday, he apologised for some post-race comments, regarding the competition (or lack thereof) that Hamilton faced on the way to setting a new win record. You can actually argue that neither situation even warranted an apology: his comments on Stroll’s move were not harsher than anything we hear week in week out, and regarding Hamilton, he simply shared his opinion, which one can say is controversial but not exactly offensive.

Nevertheless, the fact he felt the need to assume he had done something wrong is refreshing. For all of the air of change and solidarity the sport wants to transmit these days, certain attitudes continue to resist being dropped, like an old driver refusing retirement despite all the evidence showing they are way past their best. And we don’t have to go that far back to find signs of this attitude. After all, Verstappen was guilty of using far worse language on Friday (curiously, also about Stroll) and when questioned about it, he simply shrugged his shoulders.

Even worse, Racing Point as a team failed to remotely assume any kind of responsibility for the debacle surrounding Stroll and his positive COVID test. There are so many things the team should have done differently it is hard to list them all; however, to hear them talk about it feels like there was nothing in the world they could have done to improve the situation.

Maybe it’s just a public facade and behind closed doors they have taken it more seriously. I would like to believe that, but I think that unfortunately the actions of Verstappen and Racing Point are simply a reflection of an overarching problem in F1: there is a shocking lack of accountability. The reason why teams and individuals feel they have no need to apologise or learn from negative behaviour is that they know there will be no punishment from the sport’s officials or the teams.

One of the most repeated words over a race weekend has become “reprimand”. It is a common form of non-punishment that tries to quell a controversy by doing exactly nada de nada. These are slaps on the wrist that have no consequences and no real effect, but allow the sport to claim to have addressed the issue. Nothing has changed, no one learned anything, but our hands are now clean.

On a team level, it is clear that neither Red Bull nor Racing Point had any incentive to take any action. Would Red Bull really want to punish their star driver, when they know that the moment Mercedes offer him a spot, he will jump ship? They need him far more than he needs them, and both parties understand that this is a fragile marriage that will only last if Max can’t find a more competitive seat elsewhere.

Also, would Szafnauer really have the power to force Stroll to take a test and self-isolate, even if he thought that was the correct course of action? How can any boss discipline an employee who is also the son of the owner?

The balance of power in these relationships is not even close to being even, and this means that those who are beholden to others have no incentive to properly punish them. The FIA wants to keep the teams happy, the teams want to keep the drivers happy. Responsibility and accountability are words that don’t exist in the F1 vocabulary. That is, unless, like with Norris, they come directly from the self.

Talking points

•  Imola to me will always be synonym with Senna. As a young fan, the 1994 San Marino GP was an enormous shock: no drivers had died since I had started watching the sport, and then, all of a sudden, two succumbed in consecutive days. Add to that the major crash at the start, the mechanic hit by a loose wheel, the fans hit by debris, Barrichello’s crash on Friday... It was a nightmare weekend for the sport, and my first realisation of its real dangers.

But Senna was the most shocking of all. He was one of the main reasons, if not the main, why I started watching F1. My oldest racing memory is his mesmerising win at the 1985 Portuguese GP; he made me a fan of the sport, and of himself, on that day. To witness one of my biggest idols perish in front of my eyes was a moment I will never forget. And so, every return to Imola is an emotional one. Every time the cars will drive past that fateful corner, I will be thinking of you, Champion.

•  There are a lot of drivers with their F1 futures on the line who will be driving (or trying) the wheels off their cars this weekend, but there are also a few that are preparing to drive the last few races of their F1 careers. Magnussen and Grosjean, having lost their Haas seats, seem resigned to continue their careers elsewhere, and a similar fate might be coming for Kvyat. I hope they can make the most of what is left of the season to leave F1 fans with a good memory of them.

•  23 races, including 2 triple headers? Another grand prix in a country with a poor human rights record? Paul Ricard and Barcelona continue on the calendar? And, to top it all off, no Interlagos, to be replaced by a newly built track for which a forest needs to razed? I would say I am disappointed, but that would lead you to assume I had positive expectations - and trust me, I did not.

[crayonwriting]

Irreplaceable You (Bucky Barnes)

Summary: Unexpectedly diagnosed with a terminal disease, you embark on a mission to find a new love for your fiancé and childhood best friend, Bucky Barnes.

Disclaimer: This story is a rewrite of the movie of the same title on Netflix. Directed by Stephanie Laing and written by  Bess Wohl. Go check it out!

A/N: I started writing this five minutes after watching the movie. When I was proofreading it, I read some reviews. There were many negative reviews about this story but I really, really, loved it. I truly do.

Please comment if you want a second part to this. I don’t really want to believe that this is a bad movie and story.

Enjoy folks!

—

This story starts off as your typical friends-turned-lovers trope.

When you were a little girl at seven years old,—bold attitude, so very sure of herself, friendly, optimistic—you went on a field trip with your classmates at the San Marino Zoo. Like any other childhood memory, your favourite part of the whole trip was when you met the love of your life, James B. Barnes. It was when you were at the World of the Deep that you met James—Bucky, as he insisted that you call him.

“And here we come to our coral reef, home to many species,” the tour guide blatantly gestured to the huge tank behind her, “Including over fifty types of fish: the green morey eel, the cownose ray—”

“Oh, those guys are mating.” One of your classmates pointed out.

“Okay. Uh, look over there!” The tour guide gestured to the other tank.

“Why are, like, six of them mating together?”

“Which one is the mommy?”

“See, here's the thing, kids,” the tour guide sighed, “Fish are not like people. They're not monogamous.” She rolled her eyes and looked down at her feet. “Not that many people are either.” She whispered to herself before looking back up at your group. “But that's another—”

“What's ‘monogamous’?”

“Well, uh,” she started, “Okay, monogamy means if you love someone, you stick with them for the long haul.”

“My dad screwed my Aunt Rosa.”

“My mommy and daddy are separated.”

“My mom ran away with my dentist.”

“My dad said she was getting her cavity filled in.”

“Yep.” The tour guide shrugged. “It's not easy. Lots of things can separate us: Aunt Rosa, the dentist,” she looked at the walkway behind your group, “Lauren Mulgrew in World of Amphibians,” she looked back at your class, “However, there actually is one monogamous fish.” She led you to the left, were pictures of weird, alien-like fish were hung up. She pointed to one on the far right corner.

“The deep-sea anglerfish. The male anglerfish hunts for the female, following her through the most dangerous parts of the deep. Then, when he finds her, he bites into her flesh and never, ever lets go. The two fish fuse into one.” After she had said that, the rest of your classmates just stared at her, uninterested. She clicked her tongue and bit her lip.

“And we're walkin'. And we have our listening ears on…”

You didn’t follow the group immediately as you stared at the photo of the anglerfish. Beside you, Bucky stared up at the photo too. You looked at him with a straight face. Bucky adjusted his glasses and fiddled with his jacket.

“What?” He asked.

Without warning, you bit him—hard—on his left shoulder causing him to scream.

And that was the start of it all. Well, after a trip to the hospital for Bucky and a lot of therapy sessions for you.

It was true love.

—

Several years later…

You smiled at the people you passed by in your small apartment. You sipped on the champagne you had in your hand, eyes scanning the room for a certain brunette. You saw him with his best friend Steve and the rest of your group.

You walked up beside him as he was retelling the story of the bite to all of them. A romantic gesture, really.

“Really, it was a behavioural problem.” He turned his head to you and kissed your temple. “She bit like six kids that year.”

“You’re the only one that meant anything to me.” You interrupted.

“Well, I had to go to the hospital.” He turned his attention back to your group. “Six stitches!”

“Three stitches!” You looked at him in mock disbelief. “I almost got kicked out of school.”

Bucky took a sip of his drink before saying, “You should've been kicked out of school.” This earned a laugh from their audience. “You were rabid!”

“Bucky!” You playfully slapped his shoulder. Suddenly, out of nowhere, your mom came up behind you. She put her hands in your shoulders and kissed your cheek.

“For years I've tried to have her de-fanged and de-clawed.” Your mother came up behind you, with her hands on your shoulders as she kissed your cheek. You sighed and jokingly rolled your eyes at her.

"Thanks, mom." You said, smiling.

Sam grunted, picked up a fork on the nearby coffee table and clinked it against his glass.

"May I have everyone's attention please!" People started to gather closer around their group. "Yo, everybody! Everybody! Come closer, please." Sam coughed a little into his fist. "I would like to make a toast."

"Aww, Sam…" You cooed, leaning into Bucky's side; his grip on your waist getting tighter.

"That's probably a bad idea…" Steve chuckled.

"Hey! It's already started." Sam grunted. "Cheers! Uh, happy engagement you guys."

"Cheers!"

"Happy engagement!"

Everybody raised their glasses towards you and Bucky. You looked at him with all the love in the world. He looked at you the same way, leaning down to kiss your lips softly.

"To the bride and groom!" Steve smiled.

"The bride and groom!" Clint shouted from the back. Clint was your best friend and co-worker at the library near your apartment. "You know, it doesn't really make sense, right?" Clint caught everyone's attention, a dash of confusion on their faces. "I mean, c'mon guys. Y/N here is a Type A and Bucky...well," Clint shrugged, "He's more of a Type Z."

"C'mon, I am not a Type A." You giggled.

"What the hell is a Type Z?" Bucky asked, mocked offended.

"What Clint means to say is," Sam interjected, "How did an amazing woman like you," Sam gestured towards you, "End up with the most clueless white boy in the city?"

This earned a laugh from the whole group, including you and Bucky.

"This could be the best toast I have ever heard," Bucky stated.

Chuckling, Sam continued, "Look, honestly, I generally disapprove of people who are disgustingly happy as you guys are. But, um, I'm really glad that you proposed to this one." Sam looked at you.

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold up." Steve raised his eyebrow. "Y/N proposed to Bucky?"

"She just beat me to it, punk," Bucky answered. "I was  trying to figure out the best moment—"

"You were taking too long!" You laughed. "So, I just stuck a rubber band on my finger," you raised your hand, "and that was it." You smiled triumphantly.

"That's cute," Clint said.

"The truth is…,” you trailed off a little for dramatics, “There may be a little incentive to make it all official…," You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively, which earned a small laugh from Bucky, as you patted your hands softly against your abdomen.

"Wow," Clint exclaimed.

"Wow, Bucky, congratulations!" Steve smiled, slapping a firm hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

Soon enough, another round of congratulations was shared throughout the rest of the party.

—

Later that night, you lay side by side with Bucky; both of you staring at the ceiling. You enjoyed quiet moments like this with him—pure, comfortable, soft, and warm. You couldn’t help the smile that overtook your face as you thought of the years you had spent with Bucky and the life that awaits the both of you.

Undoubtedly, your insides still tingled and buzzed with love and adoration for the man lying beside you. All the dates, the small fights, the big fights, the tears, the laughter, everything! And you were about to spend it with him as his wife.

"What if it hadn't worked out between us?" You asked in a whisper, still staring at the ceiling. It was out of the blue. A random thought for the night of what might have been if you and him had called it quits all those years ago. Bucky just chuckled and answered,

"Impossible."

You turned your body to face his, tucking your arm under your head. "What if I, like, had been hit by a bus or run off with gypsies or became a man?" You stared at him as he copied your actions to face you.

"Well," he scratched the stubble on his chin, "I would have stopped the bus,  joined the gypsies or become gay.” He smiled at you—that boyish smile full of charm, which always made you weak in the knees. You couldn’t help but stare in awe at your fiance.

“You would do that for me?”

He put his arm on your hip, and tugged you closer.

“Want to test it?”

Not being able to resist anymore, you leaned closer and planted a full kiss on his waiting lips. He sighed and groaned as he leaned over you, trapping you in between his strong arms. You placed your hands on his shoulders, gripping them tightly as each kiss deepened.

As the moment was getting hot—and a little bit steamy if you may add—you reached up to his face and took off his glasses. You pulled away a little to let out a laugh.

"Top of the books, seven o'clock from the lamp." You stretched your arm over to your bedside table, placing his glasses carefully exactly where you had said. Bucky continued kissing up and down your cheek, jaw and neck.

"I don't really give a fuck about my glasses right now…" He murmured into your skin. You hummed in response, running your fingers through his soft hair.

"You will, in the morning when I'm in the shower." You laughed as Bucky held his body above yours with an irritated expression in his face.

"Will you please stop talking?"

He didn't give you time to answer.

—

feedback?

[nyaheum]

My Eurovision 2019 Ranking

Info: I grouped some lower places together, simply because I really dislike some songs and have no strong opinion on some others. This is basically five groups of songs I didn’t like or don’t care about too much and then a top sixteen ranking.

41 to 34) Songs I really, really don’t like at all.

Germany [S!sters - Sister] - This song actually isn’t that bad. It’s alright. I’m just mad that it won the national contest, because we had two much better songs competing - or at least I thought they were much better. I also think it’s a bit weird that they call themselves ‘Sisters’ even though they’ve only known each other for a few months (if I remember correctly)

Czech Republic [Lake Malawi - Friend Of A Friend] - I’m sure there’s a lot of people who really like this song, because they usually like the music that’s on the radio and such. I really dislike this song. It annoys me so much. I also dislike his talking-part a lot...also the high pitched voice in the chorus? I just really dislike everything about this, honestly. (Especially considering I loved Mikolas’ song last year.) The video is kinda cool, but that doesn’t matter live.

Slovenia [Zala Kralj & Gasper Santl - Sebi] - This will sound weird, but the music video looks like those russian meme-y ones. Apart from that, there’s not enough happening here for me. It’s straight up boring. Usually, I’m into songs sung in the native language, but...I guess this song has a message, but I don’t get it because I don’t speak Slovene, and therefore I’m left with a pretty boring song where I can’t even concentrate on the lyrics.

Denmark [Leonora - Love Is Forever] - First of all: why is she partly singing in French? (Language of love, and she’s also saying some stuff in other languages, I know - but still). Second of all: the way she’s looking at the camera for the first thirty seconds is making me incredibly uncomfortable. Third of all: It’s a pretty boring love song. Meh. The only thing I like is the fact that she’s sitting there next to a guy AND a girl, but I might just be interpreting a bit too much into that.

Moldova [Anna Odobescu - Stay] - This is the kind of song I’d turn off the radio for. The music video also has this very weird slow motion thing going on which is very distracting and very ridiculous. It makes no sense too - I’m speaking about the guy who leaves his turned on car here. What’s up with him. Oh, and the song is a break-up song, oh no. Her vocals are pretty nice, although there’s some parts near the end where she sounds very weird and I really dislike that.

Lithuania [Jurij Veklenko - Run With The Lions] - On the one hand, the song it pretty interesting. In theory. On the other hand, I really don’t like his voice? It sounds pretty strained on the high parts. And, after the chorus is over for the first time, I feel like the song loses it’s appeal. The first time, the pitch changes are interesting, but the second time, they just seem a bit...meh. I also don’t want to run with lions, as they tend to be kinda dangerous, but thank you anyway, Jurij.

North Macedonia [Tamara Todevska - Proud] - Listen, the message of the song is definitely something good. Doesn’t change the fact that I dislike the song though. There’s not a lot happening and I feel compared to the ‘epicness’ of the music, her voice is a bit...uninteresting. Don’t get me wrong, she has a good, strong voice, but I feel like it doesn’t really fit with the instrumental. I like the music video, because there’s definitely a lot of different women shown, but I’m unsure how she wants to show this live on stage. (The wind blowing is also a bit much for me.).

Montenegro [D mol - Heaven] - Nothing Montenegro does will ever be as good as Slavko in 2017 - other than that, it’s a love song. Yay. It’s pretty boring. I don’t really hate it, which is why it’s right at the bottom of this category, but I also can’t get myself to like it. Usually, I really love string instruments in modern songs, but the cello in this...sounds off to me. (I’m no musician, so I wouldn’t know for sure, but I personally just dislike it here).

33 and 32) Songs I dislike, but not passionately.

San Marino [Serhat - Say Na Na Na] - I’m always here for San Marino doing weird shit, but this is weird in all the wrong ways. Serhat and his accent are creeping me out, honestly. I also feel like he’s twenty years older than any woman in this video. I also feel like this song had potential, but it just straight up vanished sometime during the creative process. The lyrics are weird too, but I don’t hate it. I can listen to it...once.

Norway [KEiiNO - Spirit In The Sky] - Usually, this would be the kind of song I’d at least put in my Top 20, but there’s something about it I dislike. I can’t even pinpoint exactly what it is, I’m just not here for it.

31 to 26) Songs I don’t care about, in a negative way.

United Kingdom [Michael Rice - Bigger Than Us] - Oh, UK. Back with the generic songs I cannot like because I’m not a big fan of generic songs. It’s alright - his voice is nice, even though it feels like it’s lacking a bit during the chorus? It just sounds like the Instrumental is overpowering him a bit live. At this point, I have also seen the “#ScotlandIsNow”-Ad ten times and am fed up with the UK.

Serbia [Nevena Bozovic - Kruna] - It’s a ballad. Yay. Ballads are boring, I feel like everyone who isn’t the Jury can agree on that. She has a nice voice, which is why I don’t really mind the song - but I wouldn’t add it to my Spotify-Playlist.

Estonia [Victor Crone - Storm] - It’s a guy with medium length hair and a guitar! Hide your sons and daugthers! But in all seriousness, I don’t care about this song either. It’s something I’d hear in the radio and wouldn’t skip, but I would think “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind it to be over now, thanks.”. 

Latvia [Carousel - That Night] - She sounds like a german actress whose name I can’t remember right now, that’s all I can think about. Well, apart from the fact that the songs feels pretty generic. To be honest, it sounds a bit like Eurovision 2014 (except for France, Armenia, Iceland (y’all, Pollapönk was so good) and Poland). Yeah.

Sweden [John Kundvik - Too Late For Love] - I like the Gospel-thing he has going on, but I don’t like the song itself. I’m just not a fan of songs where the pre-chorus is slower than the rest of the song when they immediately continue singing in the chorus? It’s weird to describe, but a lot of songs do this and I basically dislike all of them.

Croatia [Roko - The Dream] - I actually don’t like this song at all. But I love his goddamn wings, so I tolerate it. I’m a huge supporter of weird Eurovision and this is definitely what I needed this year. We always need someone in a weird costume. (Like vampire-opera-man from Romania in 2013.)

25 to 21) Songs I don’t care about, period.

Finland [Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away] - I’m all here for the meme, but nothing more. The stage performance looks really cool, but I couldn’t care less about the song. There’s not much happening, and the drop is...lacking, at best.

Belgium [Eliot - Wake Up] - Catch me scroll through my phone during the whole duration of this song. It’s a good background noise, but I don’t particularly like it. I’m also still bitter Belgium didn’t win in 2015; they haven’t made it up to me yet when it comes to songs, and this one definitely doesn’t help either.

Austria [PAENDA - Limits] - There’s literally only one things I can say about this whole song: meh. (No, really, I have no feelings towards this song.)

Netherlands [Duncan Laurence - Arcade] - I like the floating-naked-underwater-aesthetic, but I don’t think he can do this live on stage... Song wise, I don’t really care - it’s somewhat nice - I like the start of the chorus, the short ‘boom’-moment, but that’s pretty much it.

Israel [Kobi Marimi - Home] - Okay, I’ll admit it’s hard to follow chicken dances and an absolute party on stage. But I don’t think a very slow song is the right choice. I definitely like his voice and he reminds me of someone so much, but I can’t think of the name. Generally, it’s pretty nice, but I wouldn’t vote for it.

20 to 17) Songs that are alright, but nothing more.

Belarus [ZENA - Like It] - It’s modern with a very very slight traditional touch, which I like, but the song doesn’t really go further for me. I feel like it should qualify for the final, but shouldn’t place high. At least it’s something modern...

Poland [Tulia - Fire of Love (Pali sie)] - It’s a bit weird, but I like it, I guess. I’m not sure if I like it, to be honest. I need to hear this one live. Depending on the live performance, this one could go up a few places or down a lot. It’s borderline annoying me, so it’s pretty hard actually judging this. I like the general sound of the song though. (There’s something about this music video that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, but I don’t know what it is. Might just me being me.)

Georgia [Oto Nemsadze - Sul tsin iare] - He looks so grim, oh my god. I really like his voice, which is why he’s in this category, because I don’t really like the song all that much. It’s alright, definitely, and it might warm up to me - this type of song usually does - but currently I’m undecided.

Ireland [Sarah McTernan - 22] - It’s definitely alright. I mean, it’s still a love song, but most songs are, and at least this one has some things happening. The chorus is pretty catchy, although I was waiting for a bit more after the build-up.

16) Romania [Ester Peony - On A Sunday] - That music video is so confusing - when I first saw snippets from it, I thought it was a stage performance. The song itself is confusing me too - it’s weird, so I like it (like most songs from Romania, tbh) but it’s nearly a bit too much for me? I need to see this live, but so far, I’m optimistic about this one. 

15) Greece [Katerine Duska - Better Love] - I’m so here for the aesthetic. I really like her voice, it has this slight twang to it that I really like. I like that it’s very obvious outside of the chorus, but absent during the chorus. It gives the song in itself a nice contrast. Generally, it’s not exciting enough for my Top 10, but I definitely like it.

14) Albania [Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokes] - She’s singing in her native language, which is always a big plus for me. The song is a bit creepy and it has something I always call “ancient”, because I can’t describe it better. It sounds like they might’ve sung it a while back, only with a modern twist. Which means I automatically like it. (It’s also giving me strong 1944 (the song) vibes, just putting this out there.)

13) Azerbaijan [Chingiz - Truth] - And here we have our second guy floating through the water. I’m noticing a theme here. Both video and song are really weird for me here, and I cannot quite place why I like this, but I do. I’m pretty sure this will drop a bit once I hear it live though - I feel like it will be hard to not be overpowered by the music with the high voice he’s singing in during the chorus. He might surprise me though, so I’m placing the song here.

12) Hungary [Joci Pápai - Az én apám] - I was really happy when I heard he’d return, and although I actually prefer his first Eurovision song to this one, this is by no means bad. It’s actually pretty good, I definitely enjoy it. Bonus points for native language yet again; also, his voice is amazing, but I knew that already. I really like the whistling part in this.

11) Cyprus [Tamta - Replay] - Cyprus realized that they did something right last year and are sending another fun party song. I liked Fuego more than this one, although they sound pretty similar. The beat in this is pretty great though. (I feel like the thing I really liked about Fuego was Eleni’s hair, a department in which Tamta can’t compete, but...oh well. She looks so good for 38 btw.) 

TOP 10

10) Spain [Miki - La Venda] - Another fun song! You might notice I prefer these over the ballads a lot. This song really feels like summer - it basically sounds like Spain. I really like this for no deep reason - it’s just fun to listen to. Spain also deserves some love in Eurovision.

9) Switzerland [Luca Hänni - She Got Me] - Okay, so, as a German, I know who Luca Hänni is. He’s the only singer I’ve heard something about before the competition. And I wasn’t expecting anything. But hey, our boy grew up, didn’t he? I like this song quite a bit, for some reason. I feel like it’s been on the radio over here before and I’ve been conditioned to like it, but I can live with that. I also like his suit. I want it. (I’m also a sucker for dance sequences, so if they put that into the live performance, I might even move this up a bit. I’m sold.).

8) Portugal [Conan Osiris - Telemóveis] - Portugal thought: "Okay, we had a very heartfelt, serious song with minimal stage performance. We don’t want that anymore.” So they glued some spoons on a guys face, put him and his platonic male friend into feather suits and made them dance. As I said, I’m fully here for weird Eurovision, and I love traditional-ish songs, so I’m very into this. I actually really like the song, all jokes aside. This might actually be one of my Top Three stage performances. I just hope they qualify so I can see them in all their glory in the final. (Them and all their silverware.)

7) Australia [Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity] - I have complicated feelings towards this song. It’s very clearly inspired by Estonias song last year - only that they made it more modern. I actually really enjoy the first two minutes of the song. If it was just that, I would’ve been inclined to put it in my Top Three. But then there’s the last minute. It’s way too many different voices and different music at once. I feel like it doesn’t quite fit. I’m still hoping they’ll fix that part for the semi-finals, because I really can’t stand it. 

6) Armenia [Srbuk - Walking Out] - This song is the kind of music I usually listen to in my free time, so I obviously like it. I’m also really into the aesthetic. I just feel like the chorus could’ve used a bit more drama. Especially a different “drop” - they already did the pause before it, they might as well commit to it fully. Otherwise, I really like this. (And damn, those trumpets(?) were made for me.)

5) Malta [Michela - Chameleon] - I really have a soft spot for Malta. I’m just really glad to have a real party song among ballads and sad songs. I might be influenced by the music video here because I really like lyrics on screen by default, but we’ll see how this song sounds live. Depending on that, it might move down. (I feel like this will either do really well or really bad though.)

4) Russia  [Sergey Lazarev - Scream] - Okay, I loved his song back in 2016, so I am, again, biased, but I like it. It’s not quite as catchy as some of his other songs, but his voice sounds really good in this. I also really hope they will incorporate the imagery from the music video into the live performance, because it’s really nice.

3)  France [Bilal Hassani - Roi] - At first, I didn’t like this song at all, but it really warmed up to me. He has a nice voice - I only hope he can fully show it live, because I already felt that the music video version sounded a lot better than the live version I saw. But the chorus of this song is stuck in my head. I also love the mixture of English and French - especially because it’s full sentences in both languages, and not only single words. (I can’t stand that.). I’m probably biased here because I speak French, so I understand everything (as opposed to the Slovene song for example) but...damn, I really like this song. (It took me really long to realize that his hair was a wig, by the way. I just thought he naturally had Jeffree Star hair.)  

2) Iceland [Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra] - I can’t really explain myself here. This song is absolute madness and I’d be surprised if it survived through the semi-final. But they might surprise us and do what Lordi did before them. Honestly, it’s really refreshing Eurovision-wise and I’m so here for the Icelandic-metal-screaming. And yes, it’s another aesthetic-thing here. I just can’t help myself. (I’m also hearing “Aufstehen” in the end and I’m just wondering if that means “Stand up” in Icelandic...)

1) Italy [Mahmood - Soldi] - Honestly, Mahmood has no contest for me. This song is everything I ever wanted and more. It’s way too good for Eurovision, if that makes sense. There’s just nothing that bothers me about this song. The chorus sounds so incredibly good and the live vocals I heard from him sound so stable? I really hope they won’t do Italy dirty like they did with Occidentali’s Karma. This song is just way too good to go to waste on lower places. Did I mention I absolutely love this song? Oh, and native language bonus, of course! As if I could love this song any more.

[melekseev]

so i FINALLY bring you my esc19 toplist, all under the cut, with short comments.

also be aware i literally... enjoy my top 31. so twenty something places might sound bad.. BUT THEYRE REALLY NOT, I JUST LOVE A LOT. i went into this year thinking it was weak, and then after i had this playlist on so much, hello, i love a ton. nevertheless, just my taste and opinions and good luck to all of them~

1. France ABSOLUTE KIN G stuck in first place because this is undoubtedly my most listened song this year, and i'm absolutely hooked on it. i am somewhat worried about that coming revamp, but. but i fcking love this song, and he improved those vocals like d amn 2. Russia i.... am in love. every time i hear this song it gets me into that sort of dramatic ecstasy and it's so big and beautiful that it just... it kills me. i die. thats it 3. Italy soldi is still my jam, and i adore it to bits 4. Slovenia this masterpiece is one i just want to protect. so soothing, i LOVE listening to it, it's just ethereal 5. Netherlands this song, at one point, was almost at every possible spot on my list from middle to top 15, but then it stuck with me and now it's utter love 6. Hungary i adore his voice, no bias. his whole vibe, his unique delivery and technique, that folky sound, like... yes please 7. Switzerland i am not ashamed to say i am utter trash for this song. every single part i love about this. like holy shit, this time switzerland better make it thEY EARNED IT 8. Australia she is QUEEN, i considered dropping it from my top 10 when trying to readjust ONE TIME and upon relistening i instantly was like "okay no way it's going anywhere", i just unironically love it a LOT 9. Norway actual legends... this song just cheers me up to SUCH an extent! love the joiking... i love eveything, bless you norway 10. Belgium at first, i had issues with it, because i wanted a bigger drop near the end, but now i'm just absolutely... in love... it convinced me. the instrumental, the building up, the dark undertone, just. i adore this 11. Poland oH I LOVE THEM SO MU CH. li s t en. i can't explain it, but they give me like a lowkey vibe of soft punk-rock theme but also like...?? japanese pop?? but no, it's polish and slavic and traditional and i'm really really vibing with it, because some of it is familiar from my own culture, and these girls S LAY 12. Albania albania always delivering those vocals.. i love the mystical vibe with the ethnic sound, it's simply gorgeous 13. San Marino can you believe i unironically HONESTLY thoroughly enjoy this song?? serhat is an icon, but his voice actually really fits with this song and i always get super into it. i'm so happy this exists lmao 14. Azerbaijan i'm very very much into this song, and i'm EXTREMELY curious to see how he pulls this off live as it seems to be such a radio song, but i have hopes. i just dig it, like... like a LOT 15. Czech Republic this is the most chill song this year, and despite the silly, easygoing lyrics it's just... extremely fun, and it's been my jam since it came out 16. Croatia listen. l i sten. i love... theatrical. i love big strong voice explosions. this CHILD is talented as fuck. i know many people hate this, but the song actually grew on me, and then today i just honestly love it. i wish the whole song was in croatian, but even with the not so great lyrics, i'm eating it up and singing along. i know he won't make it, but oh well. it's okay Roko, i love your voice and song 17. Armenia i really love this one, too. she convinced me further in amsterdam bc she absolutely killed it (although i feel like she had a nervous slip in the very beginning) but then after that.. holyshit. such a tiny girl with such a huge voice 18. Spain honestly, if you tell me earlier it would end up this high at one point i wouldn't believe you.. i never /hated/ it per se, but i also wasn't really impressed or as into it as most people were. i think the revamp was the one that convinced me in the end, because it forced me to face the fact that i do honestly enjoy this more than i want to. also now im nostalgic towards anything spanish, even if its different, bye 19. Finland yes, this might be nothing special, but i just... enjoy it. i genuinely do, and there are certain parts i especially love, and so therefore. like. yes. 20. Estonia as much as i didn't want to like this originally, i do. like, i really do. it just happened, and i'm not mad about it 21. Romania this song is a big grower for me, and to this day the more i hear it the more i get into it still 22. UK Michael's live delivery elevates this otherwise not so amazing song like... so much. i feel like the UK does tend to send songs with this particular theme, but i actually enjoy it quite a lot when he's doing it live. his voice is impressive, and so... here he. 23. Sweden these two ^ i always moved around together for some reason, as if they were linked, which might be because John wrote both songs, although i learned that later(??? but in the end, i feel like i prefer UK a bit more. this is also really good though, it works, and it has a great vibe for esc 24. Portugal so this one slipped quite far off, as with time i sort of lost the enthusiasm for it. i still find it unique and enjoy it nevertheless though, so it could definitely be worse 25. Greece i'm in quite a pickle because after not necessarily being super into this song, i started to really like it (VOICE, BRUH) but then the amsterdam concert happened. I KNOW she was sick, though, so i sort of have this on hold. if she delivers later, which i'm sure she will, she stays, but if not, this might drop a few slots 26. Lithuania this is another song that just makes me happy and makes me smile, and i can't explain it. i love lionboy. i'm just here for it 27. Serbia her voice is quite literally pristine, i love that she's singing in serbian, and i do appreciate her a lot as i honestly enjoy this song when it's on. it tends to slip my mind, though, which i hate it does, because it's beautiful and i'm rooting for her 28. Cyprus super unpopular opinion, but i actually like this a lot more than Fuego, and don't necessarily compare the two. HOWEVER i do kinda feel like i'm seeing the same thing from the same country, like, immediately after, which makes me a little less excited about it, oof 29. North Macedonia see, the message is very nice. the song actually grew on me a bit compared to the first time i heard it, but i still just... wish it was better. i like it overall, but it's just about pushing it 30. Israel he's actually very talented and on point vocally. the only reason it's not higher is simply because it's just not really my style, but it's one i still appreciate on stage 31. Georgia there is something about this that i like. i respect him, and when near the end there's sooo much power, then especially i really dig it 32. Montenegro the revamp did help them quite a lot, but overall it still kinda feels like a high school chorus, and i'm just not really for it 33. Moldova her voice is really nice, and despite how i found it just... done several times and kind of boring (oops), her live made me appreciate this just a bit more 34. Ireland i feel like this song is just kind of... there, for the sake of being there. it's not even bad, it's just... meh? 35. Malta that chorus is a major turn off for me, and it's neeeearing that point where a song just starts to annoy me... which i feel like is worse than simply not liking something, so it's on thin ice 36. Austria first of all i think her voice is very lovely. BUT... after about the 4th yo-o-o-ouh it does tip and starts to annoy me, which i wish it didn't, but... but it does 37. Belarus i wanna talk about how they had a huge shot with Michael Soul, but i will not go down that road and focus on Zena. this song just feels like a mess to me. like... a young britney spears song, but bad. i really don't get the appeal, at all 38. Latvia hhhhhhh. this one annoys me so much, i just can't begin to explain. it's flat, repetitive, and the chorus (??) fries my nerves in a matter of seconds, IM SORRY 39. Denmark oof... o o of. i don't want to be rude but basically this feels exactly like what you'd expect a junior eurovision song to be like.... except those are actually better. it's just... no. no. way too much sugar. it’s all just... no 40. Germany speaking of songs that annoy me? i feel like this is definitely the one i can't stand the most. *screeches* SISTAH x4 41. Iceland listen i'm not going to talk about this for long but basically i really heavily dislike this for a few reasons and can never listen all the way through without like.. suffering. the funniest thing is that i love the beat. but then.. the singing (NOT even the style) it just. it makes me angry, cuz this could be good. but it's not. also i don't like the pretend-gay stuff. but that's just me

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Germany to Eurovision with two total strangers turned friends overnight

First, S!sters, let me tell you how it works, hey!

I am never too sure why but German national finals just almost NEVER work in my exact favour. Granted, I have forgiven them for Roman Lob because I have had literally no other reason to hate him other than “eww he’s winning every single Unser Star für Baku show bar one he’s such an easy winner”; and maybe Michael too because my only vitriol towards him was that he’s such a great soul... but only on his non-ESC stuff? If I had anyone else at the time, it would have obviously been the energy of Xavier Darcy and his song too! But at the same time Xavier would have placed worse than Michael so I’ll assume that Michael was actually the best possible choice for Germany at the time? Sorry, voXXclub, Ryk and Ivy Quainoo fans.

But god damn Germany, you could have given us just at least SOME ounce of competitiveness this year, couldn’t you??? And you'll know exactly why do I feel this certain way about this next target of my reviewing. Meet Carlotta Truman and Laurita Spinelli that were assembled specially for the German national final (which hopefully gives you a bit of a heads-up of where are the things going) and have a song written especially for them to pretend to be something they are actually not looking like to be, without their involvement... this songwriting camp experience has turned them into S!sters. Got that? Even the exclamation point part? Good, because you'll probably never hear of neither them, nor their song "Sister", ever again. Just like it is accepted for a German entry as of lately, I suppose.

It starts off innocently enough, with the music-box-y sound, and then quickly escalates into the singing on top of a different set of instruments. If there’s one thing I can’t fault this song for, it’s the instant relatability levels this song hits you with: “I’m tired”, “I’m tired of competing”, “I’m sorry for the drama”, “I tried to steal your thunder”... if these aren’t moods. Now what does this message tie into? Of course one of the songwriters (Laurell Barker) talked about the message of it being somewhat related to women who get aggressive with one another for things and I think I remember that the choruses represent their unity or so. However, I’d like to interpret it a little differently. If I consult myself of the meaning of this song for myself, it is somewhat indeed about two sisters that find it hard to get along a LOT (e.g.: me and my sister irl), but the chorus represents that in the end of the day, they’re still sisters, therefore, they’re each other’s family parts and the “fire” burning in between of them is the sign of the by-default sisterly bond and that it can be strong. If I listen to Laurell, however (and I should because it’s HER song and HER interpretations should be official), it’s two women who probably compete for a man’s attention and get angry at each other when they either receive something from that man (”how dare you get more flowers from him than me!”) or they don’t (”it’s your fault he didn’t look at either of us today!”). At the end they’re just “tired of competing” and “tired of always losing” and secretly accept the fact that they should just get the man notice them both equally so he can hang out with two chick of one’s price, all at once. ^^

But what about how the song sounds? Well, that’s the problem. It’s just your standard average pop tune that doesn’t offer anything fun nor exciting. It uses simple instruments (guitars, music box), simple melodies (the main leitmotif progression on this song is C - E - lower B - C), even the simple stage presentation (the girls were dressed in black for this song on the NF). Simplicity is key, but for a country like Germany, they often tend to wander off into a painfully average or just plain ‘misunderstood-idea’ category. Cascada had a good tune but in a rapidly evolving Eurovision their act just looked completely uninspired - just some chick with a mediocre dress dancing on stairs with random camera shots to the backings. While the others were even more fun and intriguing (or diaspora overvoted them). Elaiza for some reason was uninteresting for most songwise, to say the least. Ann Sophie wasn't so bad but the German staging director did not get the gist that turning your ass against Europe is a no way points magnetiser, not even from the thirsty guys looking for attractive Eurowomen. Jamie-Lee was so-so but she refused to let her otaku look go away for her Eurovision performance, therefore everything looked so confusing and there was no absolute point in anything, not even in those laser trees. And Levina was... ehhhhh... and like someone said on Twitter few days ago, this was a song with no staging. It's sad to see Germany sending something cookie-cutter but it's even more awful when they send something remotely decent but their staging sucks at the end. Even the one for "Sister" is not gonna feature the spinning platform they had in the NF originally for Tel Aviv, that's a shame.

Well if there’s something I can admire the song for is that the girls kind of sound good when they do the song live? Unlike San Marino 2018 (which is also two girls only paired for a national final that never knew each other in their lives but having to pretend to be besties after winning the NF they sang on), they truly sell the thing nicely without making it out to be a mess. The spinning platform might have helped a bit more and with it being gone so is the magic I guess, but I guess the ladies might make it work some more at SOME point (at least with their singing)... Also the structuring of the song is pretty smeared out but interesting. I'd expect them to go "oOoOo SISTER! WahOoO SISTE-ER!" after the whole chorus but Carlotta and Laurita are rebels - they use it after half a full chorus, omitting the second chorus line. And they manage to somehow bring that chorus back, so they can end it with proclaiming once more that something "[shines] like city lights, torches in the skYYY". Then they go all like "don't you try to hiiiiide iiiit, dON'T YOU TRY TO HIIIIIDE IIIIIT... SISTER!" and the music box closes everything. Bookends. And its simplicity is nice enough to not bother me, and the instrument touches (again, guitar, and they even tried to make the chorus slightly majestic, with strings I suppose, and thise backings that repeat the song's leitmotif melody) are quite delightful in itself, so that it wouldn't be boring, melred out vanilla with maple syrup - instead it's a bit more 'orchestral' vanilla. It's vanilla that's at least accompanied with some vocal strenght. I do imagine playing just that "oOoOo SISTER" part alone in a background of a fancy ball, with red carpet, punch bowl, silver sparkly dresses and chandelier lights. Everything of there filmed from top view until camera pabs to someone that looks like Anne Hathaway.

In the end I actually kinda like this, and I even liked Levina to some degree 2 years ago (but wasn’t fond of Jamie Lee and Ann Sophie, the better of the average German entries). It stands its ground out more than them - it has more going on for itself without needing to sound like a ripoff of another song or an anime fangirl staging. It has some nicer things going on for itself that I could care about (like the ‘orchestrale’). I have a feeling I might not like the girls' chemistry on stage and that it won't transmit to the viewing audience’s TV screens though, but more on that on the below résumée:

Approval factor: It’s... approvable, nothing much of complete approvable, but the feeling of liking this is there, so go ahead with it Germany...

Follow-up factor: Do I need to say more on this? You know what, these last two years for Germany proved that they decided to not improve on their result, Michael Schulte was just a fluke and if the Germans were more cloudcuckoolanding on last year’s German NF, they would’ve sent that only vanilla NF song they had in there...

Big 5 factor: If (emphasis on “if”) S!sters are staged nicely - decent vocals (no voicecracks like Levina), a bit better staging, “believable” chemistry - they maaaay escape bottom 2 at best, maybe even explore some more beyond the bottom 5... if anything else fails, bottom 5 is locked. I mean, they have plenty of places to fuck up in, like, making the girls look way too fake happy at each other at the end, or just let them scream “SISTEEEER” at each other with no mutual emotions exchanged at each other. Just like Italy was feared to look like last year - two men yelling angrily/passively-aggresively at each other. So can be S!sters, but the catch is that they’re’nt the fan faves. And they’re singing in English. And barely anyone of the “locals” would care about them anyway, just like the Eurofans don’t. (Also can S!sters get better stage clothes for Eurovision? Please? That’s just my flop suggestion, idk if it will give them better points but I would dress Laurita in a white suit (white crop top, white coat, white pants, even the stilettos white). Just because... they could play ying-yang with each other. Laurita can still have red lipstick on if she wants btw)

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Soooooo, Unser Lied für Israel. To be honest with y’all, this wasn’t a very favourable edition for me because, for one, I have never heard of any of those final NF acts. Wish they admitted Kasalla to the lineup, so then I could’ve had another clear favourite next to the first one down below that I’ll be talking about in this bonus. Second of all that... like I said, I wasn’t very hyped about this NF much unlike last year, where even some “who is she where did you find her” people tried their asses off to be appealing, and hey, a mediocre German NF filler-declared-winner did not win for once! (instead she went for judging talents in her actual home country and even danced a bit to that country NF’s winner song while it was performed as a competitor) This year, not only don’t I have an act that I would actively mourn of its NF loss, but also aside from my apparent favourite, the songs weren’t even that likeable by me. Yes, a lot of them were nice and Germany certainly upped their game, but I feel the same way I felt with Dora - only one good song, then another decent favourite that I have I guess, but that’s it. Let’s find out who won this NF for me and some other things:

• Look Germany, I found you your saviour you seemingly rejected! Well yeah fine, she didn’t do well with the international jury and S!sters did (only because the biased German juror pushed them into 1st), but let’s all agree her song would be a-bangin’. Meet Aly Ryan and her stylish synthpop tune “Wear Your Love”, complimented with a cool stage show, with projected stripes and everything! The expert jury rewarded it with 12 points rightfully, I’d say. Germany should’ve followed suit :) (also the trumpets remind me of a British NF fan flop from last year, “Legends” by Asanda. Is it just me???)

(this might as well just not matter anymore now that Aly’s management thought that it’s the best idea to block the fans that go to her DMs... granted that some artists could really use some privacy Instagram-wise, but that’s what disabling DMs is for. At least Aly still has fans though, unlike most other ULfI candidates. She should have enjoyed her attention, no? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) UPDATE: despite this people still would’ve wanted to see Aly win, and I agree. Some minor things are forgotten anyway and the artists are loved still if anything.)

• Not necessarily my favourite now but there was this cool chick going by the moniker Lilly Among Clouds. Nothing particular in her song “Surprise” sounds like there’s a happy sky with few clouds - it’s very much so a cloudy sky with a slightly dramatic storm coming out of them, complemented with Lilly’s bold vocals and the tone in her voice, and those orchestrals were something (and this song has an orchestral-based music video if anything). The song dragged in between a lot of the parts (verses felt like a passenger in a vast desert and the choruses were like a big oasis) but maybe those in-between song parts were to signify the calm before the storm, the warning before the “surpriiiiiiise”. Would have been a bold choice for Germany, this chick. Oh and I didn’t put a video down below (instead it’s linked somewhere) because I still have this screenshot on my phone. I love it.

• Besides those two, there also were two other remarkable ladies, and they they have a lot of things in common, besides their dark skin and that they’re ladies - BB Thomaz and Makeda. Two powerful ballads and two powerful vocals! Granted they were not my faves (I like 1,5 of both those songs combined though) but I admire their singingwork. It was magical. Not to mention are their songs themselves - BB Thomaz sang “Demons”, a quite personal song about overcoming one’s fears, bullying, naysayers, depression and everything like that, and also spawned this iconic line I am probably going to use on my T-shirt someday: “my demons can go and *dramatic thump* themselves!”. But I would’ve liked it more if the whole song sounded just like the verses - granted, it makes sense for her to go all showtune-y happy when she declares that her demons can go and *you know* themselves as she’s no longer dependent on them, but I found the choruses cheesy either way. Whereas Makeda, the sweet lil lovely gal, decided to go for a romantic ballad about not hating a guy after he breaks her heart. Her song “The Day I Loved You Most” is one big role model of mine now when it will come to my future relationships: I will never have to worry about the days when my non-existent future BF is a dick to me - instead I will rather cherish the good ole’ days in my heart without whining big time about our broken-off relationship! Yeah that’ll do I suppose. It was a nice ballad to me. Makeda also nailed one damn big great highnote live and that’s how I understood why International Jury and Eurovision Expert Jury loved it so much. Televote dares sink Makeda and uproot S!sters? For shame. Inb4 y’all ask me “but what about the other two?!?” - lol they’re not worth your attention. They’re just twink songs. I like one of them enough to be my 2nd of ULfI, but lbr, no one and absolutely no one, cared about them. That’s all.

• This NF started off with the hosts collectively attempting to make “You Let Me Walk Alone” sound somewhat funny? idk? and then Michael came back to save his own goddamn song out of the entrance door from the audience and right onto the stage <3 amazing. 

• Yet again, I commend the hosting of this show that has, and how much does it try to make a knock-off Eurovision, ever since last year ❤ Starting with the logo, continuing off with live commentary during the ending and the beginning of performances, including interval acts, and a sequenced voting ❤ One of the few complaints I have is that the postcards seemed waaaaay longer than each individual competing entries? I know I tl;dr with my reviews a lot here but some NF shows just get out the stories of singers' lives rather quickly and painlessly...

• ULfI decided that it'd be a good idea to outrival Festivali i Këngës in terms of ridiculously unnecessary interval acts. Yeah. There was this cowboy guy with glasses doing his own tunes, then him again on another interval act (I forgot but wasn’t his name Udo?), then Lena at some point (one of the better interval acts actually), then Michael Schulte, then this one dude from a band Revolverhed (who later voted as part of the International Jury as the German juror and... 12′d S!sters out of his The Voice mentor bias for one of his ladies. Yeah yeah, rigging...)... there were just a little too many, that’s what I’m saying.

• Now how exactly did we all know of the victory of the S!sters? Why, with voting sequences, of course! At first we have had this international jury made up of random specific people, usually giving 12s to S!sters, Makeda or some other twink. S!sters won it, then came the Eurovision panel whose votes were co-read by ... GASP! WILLIAM FROM WIWIBLOGGS!!! ;O don’t worry though he did not dun goof anything this time - the 12 from the Eurovision panel went to Aly Ryan. Sounds hopeful enough, right?? Well, hell no, as then came the televoting results, announced by Mr. Jon Ola Sand and he announced the 12 to S!sters! Oh German televoting, why did you allow yourselves to be THIS brainwashed and decline the good progress since Michael???? I will never forgive Germany for pushing S!sters this far. Putting them up together last minute and also last-minute adding them to the lineup, giving them the pimpslot, making a person who knows one of the S!sters more personally a German 'representative' of the International Jury... unacceptable.

• IDK where to find this but there was this part of the winner reprise where the blonde S!ster (that’s Carlotta) was so overwhelmed with joy that she struggled to open her song straightforwardly and instead let all the tears and laughs(???) take over her. It’s obvious this happens during all those winner reprises that the winner cannot really contain their emotions for what joyballs the victories have rendered them to, but that moment still sticks out to me. The other S!ster (Laurita) was much more collected and later on both of them carried on the right track and sang the rest of this whole thing decently!

For now I’d just wish them viel Glück in Tel Aviv and I hope that their friendship last longer than Jessika’s and Jenifer’s from last year! (probably not because like these two, S!sters are bound to flop, and separate as immediately as the unfortunately-formed class group project participants, just like Jenifer from Jessika)

[arashipotterlockparty]

so no one will care most likely but here’s my top 26 for this year’s Eurovision final! Starting from the bottom:

26. San Marino: I’m still wondering how the hell did this guy qualify. Seriously?

25. United Kingdom: not terrible, but boooooring.

24. Germany: they’ve sent worse entries, but still... no.

23. Denmark: cute song, but I still feel that there should have been Romania in her place in the final. Sorry!

22. Belarus: I love Zena’s voice and I think she gave new life to the song while performing in the semi, but it’s still not enough to make it one of my faves.

21. Israel: I haven’t heard this live yet and I’m sure that he’ll sound great. Maybe if paired with a nice staging it might impress me more, but for now, it captured me much less than other songs.

20. Slovenia: I actually really liked the staging and I don’t really have anything negative to say about them, but it’s not a song that I would put on repeat.

19. North Macedonia: she has a great voice and the staging really made the song shine, I’m happy that she’s in the final!

18. Serbia: my opinion on this song is quite similar to North Macedonia’s one xD

17. Estonia: I think the song is catchy, I often find myself singing it while doing stuff xD

16. Sweden: his voice is good, his song is good, I still don’t understand why he’s top 3 in the odds. I don’t know how to explain it, maybe I feel like it’s not Eurovision-y enough, but I think the middle of the ranking is the place for this song.

15. Cyprus: I always dance and sing while listening to the song and I really like it, but maybe it’s too similar to Fuego and doesn’t exactly have the same charme.

14. Switzerland: same as above xD

13. France: nice song, nice message, I hope Bilal does well!

12. Greece: she has a great voice and a great staging, I loved the swords and the flowers!

11. Albania: Jonida’s voice is just so amazing, wow. And I really like it when artists sing in their own language. Plus she seems like a genuinely nice person, from what I’ve seen in interviews.

10. The Netherlands: the only reason why this song is so low is probably because in this period I seem to like more catchy songs to listen during my average day. There’s no other way I can explain it honestly xD this song is very emotional, every time I listen to it it almost brings me to tears. It’s my number 10, but I feel that if he won it’d be totally deserved.

9. Spain: this song brings out the fiesta inside of me. It just puts me in a good mood, and when I’m listening to it while I’m alone I can’t help to sing and dance xD

8. Australia: I didn’t pay too much attention to this before the first semi, but seeing the staging and hearing the vocals totally captured me. I almost cried when I saw the performance xD anyway, the other countries should take notes because THIS is the Eurovision we want!

7. Iceland: it took a couple of listens for me to fall in love with this, at first I thought it was too weird xD who would have thought, apparently I like this kind of music too! xD but yeah, I love their vocals and their staging. I hope the juries think the same too!

6. Czech Republic: I was a bit surprised in seeing that people put them really low in their rankings, because for me this was love at first listen xD it’s just so catchy and I love the performance, I know that they probably will never be so high in the ranking but I still have hope!

5. Italy: I still haven’t seen the complete performance of course, but I think that this year my country has a strong song! It has meaning and it has a nice rhythm. I hope it doesn’t get robbed as always... 

4. Norway: this is a bit of a mix of everything: it’s catchy, it has nice vocals and a bit of tradition. It’s what I think of when I think of an Eurovision song. And it’s amazing to sing while in the shower xD 

3. Malta: I thought that the song was great, but I had my doubts about the performance... then I saw it in the semi, and WOW. Absolutely loved it. Wow.

1-2 (yeah, can’t decide on my absolute fave). Russia: come on, it’s Sergey Lazarev. His vocals and stage presence are flawless, and the song is just my kind of song, powerful with a touch of darkness. Also, I can relate personally to it since it describes pretty accurately my feelings regarding crying in public xD

1-2. Azerbaijan: dear Chingiz, I’d like to have my heart back, please. Maybe after you repair it with one of those robots that you have on stage. Thank you! I’d like people not to hate me after talking to me for more than half an hour because I can’t just “like” stuff like normal people but I have to obsess over it and spread the word. No but seriously, this guy captured my heart from the first moment in which I listened to his song, thought that surely he wasn’t able to do that falsetto live, and discovered that omg he totally can. The staging is a combination of some of my favourite stuff to see on a stage, he’s absolutely gorgeous and, most importantly, his vocals are on point! 

[borisbubbles]

21. SAN MARINO

Jessika ft. Jennifer Brening - “Who we are” 40th place

It always lowkey bemuses me that it took FIVE people to write this shitty ass song. It’s literally a Ralph Siegel version of “Heroes” <3 

The Eurovision Gods giveth and the Eurovision Gods taketh. For all intents and purposes, “Who We Are” is their gift to make up for all awful shit we had to endure during the preshow, for rare is the selection that reads like a literal fanfic. I don’t exactly have time to recap it all (actually, I *do* have the time, but I don’t feel like spending it on a country I’m ranking 21st, soz.), but essentially it went down like this: 

“Zoë Straub came, saw and bitchfaced her way through hundreds of hungry famewhores, only to hand the ten last mewling imps Siegelfied parodies of famous hits. Oh and the Heroes parody, sung by desperate ratchet cunt Jessika Muscat won over the one entry universally deemed competent, because robots and memes and shit”

It was an absolute shitstorm and of course it led to what was by far the shittiest entry in the entire year. I say “Shittiest” with some affection however, as “Who We Are” is entertainingly bad:   The unconvincing, generic “Be Yourself” message that only appeals to nihilistic gays <3 The palpable desperation leaking through every note and pore <3 The wee robots <3 “HEY IT’S ME JENNY B” which is a totally pointless interlude yet also the musical highlight of the song <3  Can I also mention my appreciation for Jenifer who, after spending months pretending to be her bestie, ruthlessly deleted Jessika off social media mere DAYS after the final <3  What a glorious, beautiful mess.

YET SOMEHOW THEY DIDN’T FINISH LAST <333333

All the Australian gays powerbottomvoting Jess & Jenny B to second last in the semifinal <3 (and the Maltese too I guess, but they would’ve voted for Dustin the Singing Turkey if *he* were Maltese, so no brownie points there, I’m afraid)

But we are mostly here, in this middling rank, because of the ROBOTS. It’s San Marino, so my trash expectations were fairly high. Perhaps, too high? It briefly looked as if “Who We Are” would reach the same “Nichola Murray leads the DoSAC cabinet” type of trainwreck status Fusedmarc and Remedios Amaya had previously achieved. Not only had they brought their wee robot dancers, they also had them hold up signs such as “I’M NOT YOUR TOY” and “JUSTICE4VALENTINA” and at one point had one of them PROPOSE marriage to Jessika (which she accepted!!!), which freaking hysterical. Somehow it didn’t become a smash meme? Probably because of the insipid message they went with over these alternatives:

Yet, for some reason, SMTV suddenly took the song anti-bullying message in earnest and turned the signs into “Sometimes / Size Doesn’t Matter ^__^” and in doing so scuttled most of the laffos potential. Like, ugh, now is NOT the time to become self-aware and downgrade from “hysterical” to “modestly bemusing”!!! Call me anal if you must, but plugging the geysters of gaylarity unsolicitedly is not a-okay in a semifinal this dull and incompetent!! Fortunately, DoReDos were there to make me completely forget about Messika and Jelly Bish forevermore :)  The Eurovision Gods giveth and they taketh away indeed. PS: Yes, “Rain of Revolution” still makes me chuckle at the sheer mention of it (”LOOKEEN FOR DA RAISINS HAMSTAR ON DA ROOOOOOAAAAAD” *ostentibly visible camera crew walks by in the background*). It still firmly holds up as one of my all-time fave trainwreck entries <3

PPS: since i know people will be interested, here is the robotmeme template i made: have fun, hunties.

RANKING SO FAR

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

[wsmith215]

Jonjo Shelvey exclusive interview: Leaving Liverpool too soon and growing up at Newcastle | Football News

Jonjo Shelvey joined Newcastle from Swansea in 2016

Matt Ritchie caused quite a stir last week when he said his Newcastle team-mate Jonjo Shelvey could “easily” play for Barcelona – if only he would lay off the golf and focus on his football. “I say it to him very regularly,” Ritchie told the In The Box podcast. “He’s that good.”

Shelvey doesn’t do social media. He decided long ago that it wasn’t worth the hassle. But Ritchie’s comments soon filtered back to him.

“Someone sent me a picture of me in a Barcelona shirt next to Messi,” he tells Sky Sports with a chuckle. “Matty text me saying he’s had everyone asking him, ‘is he really that good? Is he really that good?’

“It’s very flattering for people to say stuff like that and Matty obviously knows his football. But I was a bit peed off that he said I play golf three times a week. He’s killed me with that.”

Shelvey can afford to smile about it. He has had his ups and downs but he is in a good place in his career now. He has re-emerged as a key player for Newcastle under Steve Bruce, scoring five goals in 20 appearances before the lockdown and signing a new three-year contract with the club in March. At 28, he has already surpassed 200 Premier League appearances.

Shelvey is happy and settled in the North East and his achievements are not to be sniffed at. But at the same time, it is impossible to hear comments like Ritchie’s without wondering what might have been.

Shelvey was regarded as one of the best young players in the country when he moved from boyhood club Charlton – for whom he had made his debut at the age of 16 years and 59 days old – to Liverpool a decade ago. Have things turned out how that precocious teenager hoped?

“It could have been a lot better, to be honest with you,” he says, speaking via video call. “Don’t get me wrong, by the time I finish I will have had a fantastic career. But you do sit there sometimes and think, ‘could I have gone higher? Could I have been playing in the Champions League?’ Hopefully one day I still will, but time’s running out now. You go back in the past and you’ve probably made certain decisions that were wrong.”

Leaving Liverpool too soon

Shelvey arrived at Liverpool from Charlton in 2010

For Shelvey, the big one came at Liverpool.

He was making encouraging progress there as a cultured yet combative young midfielder and won his first England cap in a World Cup qualifier against San Marino in October 2012. But when the following summer came around, and against the advice of Brendan Rodgers, Liverpool’s manager at the time, he departed to Swansea in search of more regular football.

“I was only 21 when I left,” he says. “I don’t think you would find many other players who go there at 17 and leave at 21 and I think that speaks a lot of what I’m like as a character. I wasn’t happy playing one or two games then coming out of the team. I wanted to carry on playing week in, week out.

In hindsight, should I have stayed? Probably, yeah. Even if it was only for another year or two, just to see how things changed

Jonjo Shelvey on Liverpool

“I’d been on loan at Blackpool, and at Charlton I’d been obviously playing at such an early age. I don’t think that helped because you get that knack for playing games and constantly being in the team. When you’re playing once and then not playing for six games, I don’t care what any footballer says, you don’t feel involved. You don’t feel part of the team.

“I think that was the feeling I wanted but, in hindsight, should I have stayed? Probably, yeah. Even if it was only for another year or two, just to see how things changed. But it is what it is at the end of the day.

“Every decision I’ve made in my career was just to play, to try and get as much game-time as possible. I can’t say I’ve got too many regrets.”

Overcoming obstacles at Newcastle

Shelvey has scored five goals in 20 appearances this season

Shelvey got his wish at Swansea, starting 77 Premier League games out of a possible 96 before his £12m switch to Newcastle in January 2016. But last season he found himself watching on from the sidelines again under Rafael Benitez. He is grateful to Bruce for ushering him back into the fold.

“I’ve got a lot to thank Steve for,” he says. “He has been superb for me. He’s come in and just asked for one thing and that’s hard work. On the first day with him on tour in China, he was just spot on. He said, ‘as long as you work hard, that will be enough for me.’ I think everyone has bought into that.”

Newcastle have certainly exceeded expectations, their total of 35 points putting them eight clear of the relegation zone in 13th place. Shelvey’s tally of five Premier League goals includes a stunning equaliser against Manchester City at St James’ Park in November. It’s already his highest-scoring season since the 2013/14 campaign.

“We’ve changed formations a lot and tried different things,” he explains. “Your role is constantly changing within that. But I just feel that as you get older, you learn the game, the positional sense and that side of it. Also, one thing Steve is big on is fitness. We do a lot of running during the week. The fitter you are, the more you can get from box to box.

“That’s obviously helped, and it also helps that Steve has been there and done it as a player. You just try to pick things up from him.”

Shelvey was not as close with Benitez as he is with Bruce, but he maintains that there was no falling out with the Spaniard last year and insists the issues which kept him out of the team were injury-related.

Shelvey lost his place in the team under Rafael Benitez

“It was a tough season last season,” he says. “I had a very bad injury that kept reoccurring. We couldn’t get to the bottom of the problem but eventually we found out what it was and managed to keep it under control.

“Obviously, I didn’t know what was going on at the club at the start of the summer. But I went away and got myself proper fit. Even if it had been Rafa coming back, I was just going to try my best in pre-season. I know that if that had happened, I’d be in a similar position to the one I’m in now. But it turned out to be Steve and he’s been superb for me.”

It might have been a different story, of course, had speculation linking him with a move to West Ham come to fruition in the summer. But Shelvey’s focus never wavered and he is delighted by how things have worked out.

“I didn’t really have an opinion on it,” he says. “I was under contract at Newcastle and it was just a matter of what would be would be. If they wanted to move me on or sell me, then that was their choice. But I was more than happy to stay. I never once thought about leaving.

“Obviously, I grew up as a West Ham fan and I’ve got a place back home right next to their training ground. It would have been an easier choice, in that sense, but I’ve always been away from home. It’s sort of become the norm. You just get used to it. Now, even when I get time off, I tend not to go back. I just stay up here and enjoy it. It’s a lovely place to live.”

It’s also an exciting time for the club, with a potential takeover in the offing, and Shelvey is pleased to have committed his future to it.

“We’ve done very well this season to be where we are,” he says. “If we can get back and play the nine games that are left, hopefully we can climb up a bit more. Me and Matty have signed the new contracts. We’ve been at the club for some time now and I thought it was important to get that signed. It takes the pressure off. You’ve got that security, so now it’s just time to put it to one side and concentrate on your football.”

Growing up and mellowing out

Shelvey celebrates with Newcastle team-mate Matt Ritchie

It is not yet known when exactly Shelvey and his Newcastle team-mates will be able to return to action. But what’s clear is that a player once known for his hot-headedness, a player who even had the temerity to confront Sir Alex Ferguson after a sending off against Manchester United, has learnt to control his impulses and, most importantly, enjoy his football.

“I think I’m a lot more laid-back,” says Shelvey. “People I played with at Swansea will tell you that I wasn’t laid-back when I was there. I just wanted to win so much on the training pitch that I’d end up falling out with people.

“I’d say nasty comments and stuff like that, whereas now I’m just enjoying football. I’m going out there and I’m playing with a smile on my face, whereas back in the day I would probably have been a bit of div to referees and picked up stupid little bookings.

“Now, I just laugh and try to have a joke with them and I think that’s the one thing that has changed massively with me. I have sort of taken a step back and started to enjoy it all a lot more.”

The hope now, both for Shelvey and for Newcastle, is that the best is still to come. Just don’t expect him to give up the golf any time soon.

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[emmadeforests]

Tmblrvision 2016 Rankings + Reviews

With season 2 of @tmblrvision underway, I think it’s time I make my thoughts on last year’s songs public. This year’s entries will be up by the time school starts for me (so, soon). I’m still learning how to add cuts to posts so forgive me if there isn’t one for a minute.

#56 Vatican City Ok, so I forced myself to listen to this all the way through…honestly I applaud the HoD for finding SOMETHING for the Vatican, even if it’s this. I am however utterly confused by why exactly someone made a CD of the Pope. The bit at the end with an actual person actually singing was nice, and almost something I’d listen to if it were JUST that, but the instrumental and spoken bit were baffling enough to me that I have to rank this dead last. I mean, HAVE to.

#55 San Marino This is only marginally better than Senhit’s Eurovision entry. I absolutely detest her voice, as well as that of Marracash. Additionally, this song is awfully repetitive and something about the beat is annoying me - I usually don’t mind them, so that’s odd…

#54 Tunisia See, this one is funny, because you’re fooled into thinking it’ll actually be good until she starts singing. The instrumental on the verses is so nice to listen to, but the vocal melody is boring, and I hate Amina’s voice. And everything goes to shit on the chorus.

#53 Azerbaijan A lot of people like this one. I’m not sure I understand why. The instrumental is just plain boring; it doesn’t even try to be interesting. And her vocals are atrocious, especially on the chorus. It’s not that she’s a bad singer necessarily, I’m just thoroughly turned off by her voice. I guess she’s hit-or-miss.

#52 Georgia Everyone had high hopes for Nina, I think…sadly, when compared to Warrior this just doesn’t deliver. The instrumental is beautiful, and I love it, but it needs a voice to match, and that’s what this song is lacking here. Nina’s distinctive vocals don’t fit well with the song, and when paired with the odd effect they sound even more out of place.

#51 Egypt I’m just not a huge fan of Arabic music, so this is just a personal taste thing for me. There are some songs I like, but those are the exception, generally (I guess I just have a hard-on for everything Moroccan, lol). I’m sure it’s a great song but it’s just not for me.

#50 Montenegro I’ve never understood the hype around this guy at Eurovision, I really don’t like his voice. It’s a pretty and emotional song but not great.

#49 Luxembourg The singer and instrumental simply don’t sell themselves to me. Next.

#48 Andorra This is just so…weird. I hate 80s music. And the song structure is all over the place. I want to like it but I can’t.

#47 Lebanon Again, not a fan of the Arabic music. The verses are nice but I just can’t get behind the chorus.

#46 Austria She’s trying too hard to be edgy and meaningful, and it’s coming across all wrong. Not to mention her voice. Also, the lyrics fit oddly with the rhythm, it’s almost like they’re stressed weird, and it gives the song this unsettling quality to a native english speaker.

#45 Serbia It’s ok, but I’m not one for the vibrato, and it’s too jazzy for me. Sounds like jazz and musical theatre had a baby and it was raised in the Balkans. Not my thing.

#44 Jordan This is exactly the kind of trashy shit I’d expect to see at 2000s era Eurovision. The chorus is catchy but the verses are boring.

#43 Bulgaria This reminds me a lot of that aforementioned, traditionally Middle-Eastern style of singing, and as you know it’s really not for me. Preslava has a great voice though.

#42 Albania This isn’t something that I necessarily mind listening to. I mean, it’s nice. But I feel like it doesn’t really go anywhere, build, what have you, so it’s hard to rank higher.

#41 Monaco This is actually pretty catchy, has a nice flow. But her voice is so light and airy and it doesn’t really fit with the rest of the song. It brings the song down a lot for me.

#40 United Kingdom The first verse is pretty good, but for the rest of the song there’s too much going on in the instrumental for me to enjoy Emma’s voice. I also never understood the appeal of any 2000s-era music, really, and this screams Avril Lavigne wannabe.

#39 Norway The instrumental is nice but something about his voice isn’t really locking with me, I don’t know. It’s really just the song. He doesn’t fit it.

#38 Turkey The chorus to this is good, but the verses are structured weird rhythmically and the constant switching between Turkish and French annoys me. It doesn’t work for me.

#37 Sweden I enjoy Zara’s music generally, and this is a good song up until she finishes the first chorus and the beat drops. But something about this isn’t clicking. Maybe it’s the way the song fits her voice, or maybe it’s MNEK, or maybe the instrumental.

#36 Italy I never understood the Il Volo hype. This song seems almost overdone to me - as a classically trainer singer I LOVE the harmonies, but the song is really meh and unoriginal.

#35 Slovenia This is funny, and I can tell that Klemen is a good singer despite the effect he’s put on his voice. But the fact remains that it’s hard for me to like joke entries. I still don’t think it should have won.

#34 Denmark This isn’t a bad song but there’s something about the arrangement that doesn’t quite feel right. Her voice also sounds a bit strained. I don’t know. It was a nice pleasing video to watch, at least.

#33 Algeria I have to admit I did kind of sleep on this one…it’s a bopful song but Leïla’s voice doesn’t quite do it for me.

#32 Bosnia and Herzegovina This is a mixture of styles that I hate that have somehow combined into something I like, and it confuses me. Enough said.

#31 Libya There is an indescribable charm about this song. I’m not sure why but I really enjoy most of it. However it does go on for a bit long and there were other songs that were simply better.

#30 Armenia This is a pretty and good song, but I prefer the solo version better. Oh, there was a solo version, you ask? Yeah, and it was apparently released in 2009. But yeah contrary to popular opinion I don’t think their voices fit together very well. Tamar and Elina sound nice together but not really the other three.

#29 Iceland An overall nice song but not very dynamic. The rap part is okay and the sung part is okay but there’s nothing that makes it good or bad. A quintessential host country entry.

#28 Netherlands Their Eurovision entry was much better, much more calming. This is alright too, but I don’t like it nearly as much - although I enjoy the harmonies as always.

#27 Cyprus This walks a tough line bordering urban trashy, but I think I like it, for the most part. Not something I could see doing well in the real contest, though.

#26 Moldova I have to say, this song was a LOT more beautiful than I remembered it being - so much so that I actually jumped it up in my ranking after listening to it again just now. His voice and presence are kind of creepy and displeasing but I think it’s a very nice ballad now.

#25 Macedonia This song is so happy and summery! The chorus never fails to make me smile…but sadly it’s not enough of a push to place higher.

#24 Ukraine It’s a beautiful song, but it seems to go on forever. The chord progression is also not one of my favorites. Overall it’s pretty good though.

#23 Slovakia This is a very cute song but the verse and the chorus don’t fit very well together - they sound very different and the transition is just awkward.

#22 Spain It’s happy and radio-friendly and probably one of my favorite songs in Spanish. I actually like this better than Sofia. I can see why this did well and I doubt Pastora Soler will be able to come nearly as close.

#21 Latvia It’s a good song but nowhere nearly as good as Love Injected. I also worry for Aminata’s voice…it can’t be healthy to belt so high.

#20 Romania Another song that was much better than I remembered. It’s not the most creative of entries but I remember liking it when it was first revealed on Tumblr and somehow everything works, it’s charmed me. I love Inna’s voice. And, funnily enough, the titular phrase “diggy down” doesn’t even bother me that much. It’s awkward, but not awful.

#19 Ireland Bry seems like someone I want to wrap up and hug…his voice, his look, those lyrics. But the song has too much drums and guitar for my taste. I’d kill for an acoustic version, to be honest.

#18 Germany I know I’m not supposed to rank my own entry… but nonetheless I am still very proud of seventh place! To me the song does get a bit boring after a while but I love Namika’s voice and so I’m generally satisfied with this song and result. I guess I’d like it more if someone else had sent it.

#17 Portugal This is a well-meaning song that I’d bop to if I heard it on the radio. It doesn’t stand out from the pack enough to have gotten any points from me but I do like it.

#16 Belarus I love Belarus!!! This song is so good to dance to and bop to in the car, and it’s not really what I’ve come to expect out of Belarus given their Eurovision results. But this is super good.

#15 Greece This was one of the most slept on songs of the contest imo…I never fail to get hype to this one. I seriously regret not giving it any points last year. Her voice works so well with the song and the song is so hype-inducing. I love it.

#14 Israel I love this song! I didn’t pay much attention to it last year but it’s the song that has the most staying power for me - it’s the Tmblrvision song I listen to most as of a year after the contest.

#13 Russia Not usually a big fan of techno music but Nyusha just works it. This is something I would hate if it were in English.

#12 France I still haven’t watched the full music video for this…but I maintain that this should have won. Not a song I really liked during voting but I would much rather have had this than Fighter or Putin Putout. Not to mention that this song is really good live (yes, I saw Jain live. It was awesome).

#11 Morocco Morocco is one of those countries where I just adore their entire music industry. I love this song, I love Yallah, I love Ghaltana - and I feel like I’ll love whatever I see from them next. Morocco is my exception to the rule of “i don’t usually like Arabic music”.

#10 Croatia Not generally a rock music girl, but there’s something I like about this song that I can’t quite identify. That chorus has me bangin’.

#09 Belgium This is a song I’d expect to find either in a club or in Eurovision…and it’s pretty good. Belgium, send her to ESC.

#08 Poland I wasn’t a huge fan of this last year but I’ve come to really love it - I listen to it a lot now too. Something about his gritty voice, or the song itself…I really love it and regret not giving it points.

#07 Malta This is such a beautiful emotional ballad. I never fail to connect with this and I think Kevin’s voice communicates the feeling very well. This won’t be easily topped for me.

#06 Lithuania I remember we all thought this was going to win and so I gave it no points…I take it back. Lithuania sweetie I’m so sorry… but anyways this is a good song and one I’d show to my friends if they asked for music recs.

#05 Czechia This song makes me want to learn Czech. I liked it from the beginning and I like it now - this is great.

#04 Estonia I love all of this. I love the bass and the drums and his voice. This is a very typical song you’d expect to hear from an Estonian guy but I like it a lot despite that.

#03 Switzerland I have loved this song from the start. It’s so slept on, I think - I love duets and I love the retro instruments in the background. I think i’m going to acquire a reputation of giving my douze to underappreciated bops…just wait til you see who I gave it to this year.

#02 Finland This is just beautiful. She has one of my favorite voices in this contest and the instrumental is just so lush. It’s awfully similar to Malta’s entry but I really don’t mind that so much because they both do it so well.

#01 Hungary Uh…of course. You should have seen this coming…I am the ultimate Boggie fan. And this is one of my favorite of her songs. It’s so pretty and Milán’s voice fits with hers so well. It’s very atmospheric too. This should have done way better and I’m STILL upset.

[visiodreams]

So here is my personal top 43 eurovision ranking with comments be below 

Comments 

-- Finland: My country so I won't rank this. There is always tendency to be a bit biased when it comes to your own country. I wasn't big fan of the song at the beginning but the live really made this song grow on me. They were clearly best act on the live shows so they did deserve to win.  I think there is potential to go to the finals so fingers cross. 

  42. Czeck Rebuplic: Sorry but this song is just boring.. I don't even have that much to say about it.. Not the type of music I listen.. I'm afraid that this song isn't that memorable.

41. Slovenia: Oh Omar Naber the man who has made on of my favourite eurovisions of all time (If you don't know what i'm talking about check out esc 2005 slovenia) .. but this.. oh well this is just one very forgettable eurovision ballad.. sorry but it's no for me.

40. Germany: Okey I try to be nice with this. She sings good at live.. yeah that's about it.. I have tried to make myself to like this song but it's just.. I don't know.. lyrics are just bad and over all just meh for me. 

39. Malta: There isn't exactly anything wrong with the song. It's just quite unoriginal eurovision ballad. Nothing new. If you like this part of eurovision then this is probably song for you.. I just don't like it. 

  38. Russia: Haven't checked the latest news if they are taking part or not but don't wanna exclude this either.  This song.. well mm she's a sweet girl and it's a sweet song.. just not what I would listen.

37. Denmark: Oh Denmark I admit I probably dislike this song more cos I watched their national finals  and liked other song way way way more than this (I'm a fan of cheesy euro disco and half naked man.. but hey can you blame me) This just not my cup of tea. I won't listen this more than I have to.

36. United Kingdom: I have started to like this song than I did before but still not my top songs of the year. I just think that UK would have so much potential for more than this. Just not fan of these eurovision ballads if you can already tell.

35. Georgia: I don't hate this song. She is powerful singer with powerful song. It's just not one of the songs I would put to my playlist. I can handle this when it comes to the live shows but that's about it.

34. Ireland: Very irish ballad. Nothing really wrong with the song. But to be honest can't remember nicely how this song goes. Quite forgettable. Sweet ballad nothing more nothing less.

33.  Serbia: It's not bad song. It's just quite  forgettable. There isn't any interesting hook in this song that would make me craving for more.

32.Lithuania: I'm actually surprised that this song got this high on my ranking. But this song has grown on me for a bit. At least it's not boring song. I won't go to refill my wine glass while listening this song. This songs is still quite too much bizarre to get enough votes i'm afraid.

31. Albania: I will complain about the same thing I complain about every year with Albania. Why ooh why you have to translate your songs?  If you want to participate with english song then why not to make the songs in english in the beginning with?? why to first make it in albanian and then try to make it fit in english?  it's just doesn't make any sense. I like this song more in albanian. It's still not that bad song. And she is gorgeous singer and sings amazingly in live. Defiantly not the worst song of the yea.

30.  Croatia: Definitely one of the most interesting songs of the year. It has some Disney feel in it. Also i'm interested to see how he can change his tones in live. Definitely looking forward to see this song and him singing it. Just not my taste of music. 

29. Creece: I'm a fan of cheesy dance songs but sorry this is just too cheap even for me. I can handle this that one night and maybe party a little but it's a no for me. I won't listen this much after esc are over. 

28.  Polan: This reminds me of Bond song for some reason. It's not bad song and I can see why there is people liking this song. It's just not my taste.

27. Ukraine: It's always refreshing to see other genres than cheesy pop and ballads. So I'm glad Ukraine chose this song. Is it my all time favourite rock song? Mmh not really. I do like rock music but this isn't really the song I like to listen all the time. It has grown on me tho' quite  a bit.

26.Iceland: I think this sounds very nordic. I could imagine this kind of song coming from Norway or Sweden also. It's not bad song but not the top cast either. I do like it quite much and it's pretty catchy.

25. Israel: well I think this and Creece are pretty similar. Cheap pop songs that are okey to party on when esc party is on but there isn't much to tell to next generation eurovision fans about this song. Some other year could have been higher but this year there is just so much better dance songs. Okey okey I might have given some cute boy extra points to this song.

24. Romania: Oh Yodel it! It's definitely eurovision material. I'm glad they chose this song cos well comm’on it wouldn't be eurovision without acts like this. I'm glad that eurovision is getting it's weird factor back on. And I mean weird in good way. You have to admit that you can’t hear yodeling in everyday radio pop song. Btw both of them are good singers. 

23. Australia: Very quality eurovision ballad. Pretty safe choice. Not the most memorable song of the night but it's not bad either. One of the best in category of eurovision ballads.

22.Latvia: This song will bring the burst of energy to the stage for sure. This song itself isn't just that kind of song I like personally that much.. It's okey song. It will be nice to watch in show but I'm not gonna listen it that much.

21.Netherlands: Is it throwback Thursday? Hello is it year '99 calling? Am I watching Charmed marathon on Netflix and still waiting for the episode where Leo first show up and scream like a fan girl cos piper x leo is the one and only otp.. oh sorry I got lost in track. I quite like this song. It's very old fashioned on it's on way but it's not bad thing. It gives you feels and things that give you feels can't be that bad.

20. Austria: Oh Nathan Nathan.. I have to admit I have a thing for him. I have thing for red heads I can’t deny it. Yeh this song got quite a few cute boy bonuses. It's a chill song. Not really the type I like that much but if Nathan sing it I can listen to it.

19. Belarus: This is just one very adorable song. It makes you feel good and makes you wonder if there actually is that small three hugging hippie living inside you. Who just want to sit next to bonfire holding hand in circle and singing songs. BTW love that it's sang in Belorussian.

18. San Marino: Okey remember the part when I said I love cheesy eurovision disco songs? Well like I said I love them and I love this song. Just want to get up clap my hands and move my hips like a John Travolta.

17. Switzerland: I follow you Apollo.. very catchy chorus.. very good live and man that woman is gor-ge-us.. definitely some hot woman extra points here. Not quite my top 10 material but definitely a good song that goes right to my playlist.

16. Spain: Yeah I know I'm cheap.. I dunno everyone seem to hate this song and i'm just here in my tropical printed shirt sipping pina colada from coconut and wondering what is it exactly that I'm gonna do for my lover.. Overall this Manel boy's surfer charisma has affected me and I'm quite enjoying the song.

15.Estonia: i'm quite digging this song. It also have some vibe from the past but it seems to be a thing this year.. Maybe i'm getting old cos it doesn't bother me at all. This Koit Tooma has very nice voice I specially like it. Not bad Estonia not bad at all.

14.Armenia: Uuuh I love the vibe this song has. A bit mystical and this woman has nice voice. I haven’t listen it as much I have other songs since it was the last to be released. But I'm liking it.. waiting to see how is the live show.

13. Azerbaijan: I admit it I was expecting again one very swedish sounding ballad sang by one gorgeous woman in glittery gown. So yes you surprised me positively Azerbaijan. Still a gorgeous woman singing but a bit more with an attitude that I like. Looking forward to see live.

12.Macedonia: Oh I like this song a lot a lot a lot. It reminds me of some other song can't quite catch which one.. but it's a type of music my big sis used to listen a lot and has affected me also .. very nice.

11.Bulgaria: On of my favourite ballads of the year.. more modern than others.. very quality song-- I can see this doing well.

10.France: Would have been better without forced english in the middle but still very nice song. This has been on my top 10 from the beginning. I'm glad France sending top songs every year.

9. Moldova: Well common it's a epic sax guy eurovision just got 100 times better. I loved sunstroke project last time and I love them now. Best party song of the year. How you can be not liking this song? 

8. Cyprus: Very radio friendly song with catchy lyrics. Quality song yet again fom Cyprus I'm glad. Interesting to see how it's gonna be live.

7. Sweden: First time of the history of melodifestivalen Sweden picked the song I liked.. sorry but that Nano was way too similar to one other song and it bothered me way too much. Robin had by far the best show in melodifestivalen I dare him not to change a thing (Dressmanwalk and hot dancers in suits works for me). Sweden you just know how to make shows and this song really need its live show to get where it is now.

6. Hungary: Love this sone more and more by every listening. I love it's in hungary I love the violin I just love everything. Hungary is always strongest when they pick songs sang in hungarian. Unique and beautiful.

5.Norway: I just L-O-V-E this song.. amazing... He has so great voice and the beat is nice.. modern song.. good job Norway.

4. Portugal: Oh Portugal finally did it!!! Finally a song I adore so so so much.. I feel like crying every time I listen this.. and I haven't even had time to check the translation yet.  But that old Disney feel you get from this. You get thrown middle of black and white film where you sit in smoky table and listen when this beautiful man sing like a bird.. I'm in love. 

3. Belgium: What is happening this year? What are these great modern pop songs we are having.. It's just quality after quality.. Awesome job Belgium.. this song will do good.. She just need to be good in live show..

2.Montenegro: Yes I know and I'm sorry.. but couldn't help mysef. .I was like 'can I do this?' but then the spaceship hit me.. I mean ho you cannot love this song? Man Montenegro I'm surprised.. this kind of cheeesy euro disco I love love love.. Just need my glitter and I'm ready to paaartyy.. (this song would make a great condom campaign song.. just saying.. cos I have my suit on..no need to worry..)

1. Italy: Oh how I hate that he had to cut the song for eurovision.. But oh well I'm in love.. and nothing can change my love for you Francesco Gabbani I'm waitin..ghmm I ment I'm wai..waiwing for you song.. not like i'm waiting him to marry me or anything.. nope not at all.. I have very realistic ideas in my head.. but common it's cheery italian pop song I lvoe cheery italian pop songs.. and when you add a hot italian man with tons of charisma what can go wrong? 

[while-my-tardis-gently-weeps]

Eurovision 2017: Initial Thoughts (3/13)

Now that the songs for all the participating countries are announced, here are my initial impressions of each piece. The stand-out entries (so far) are in in bold, and the ones in italics are ones I’m keeping my eyes on in the coming weeks but didn’t quite make the mark. 

In alphabetical order:

ALBANIA - Lindita “World” - On first listen, I liked it, but it didn’t really leave a lasting impression on me. Above average Eurovision ballad, but nothing more.

ARMENIA - Artsvik “Fly With Me” -  Okay song, forgettable.

AUSTRALIA -  Isaiah Firebrace “Don’t come easy” - Australia brings it again! 3 for 3 from down under since they joined Eurovision. Only heard the music video version though so I’m curious how he will do in live performance. It definitely didn’t impress me nearly as much as Dami Im’s did last year, but I was sold on her live performance last year, not the recorded version.

AUSTRIA -  Nathan Trent “Running on air” - Thoroughly average pop ballad with good energy and beat, but it’s been growing on me. A LOT. I blame it on the gorgeous Austrian mountain backdrop in the music video. Austria should definitely keep that up in the live staging if they know what’s good for them. I can’t be the only one sold on the scenery porn.

AZERBAIJAN -  DiHaj “Skeletons” - Good, but didn’t make much of an impact on me. Withholding further commentary until I listen to it more.

BELARUS - NaviBand “Historyja Majho Zyccia” - A charming little piece, bonus points for not singing in English. I don’t see it winning Eurovision, but it’s absolutely delightful to listen to.

BELGIUM -  Blanche “City lights” - Love it! Though not as much as a lot of other people seem to. It’s unique and ethereal and showcases her voice very well, but it’s a bit one-tone and kind of resembles dozens of other songs in the same style. Not to mention that it will fit right in among the Skins soundtrack. That said, I see it doing very well and it’ll be a much-welcomed breath of fresh air after listening to generic eurovision ballad after generic eurovision ballad.

BULGARIA - Kristian Kostov “Beautiful mess” - A lot better than I expected, but to be entirely honest my expectations were very low going in. It will depend on his live performance I expect.

CROATIA -  Jacques Houdek “My friend” - Nice, but boring.

CYPRUS - Hovig “Gravity” - Powerful, energetic song that can do extremely well with the right staging, (like Russia 2016 or Sweden 2015, though this one is definitely more along the veins of the former rather than later. That might be my fondness for Mans talking though). 

CZECH REPUBLIC -  Martina Bárta “My turn” - Um, no. Not feeling it at all. I don’t know if anything can fix this one. 

DENMARK - Anja “Where I Am” - I like her voice, I like her performance, I like everything except this boring snoozefest of a song. There are those ballads of yesteryear that were propelled to high rankings by a phenomenal performance, but this one is just too average for that to happen. It might carry her past the semis on a good night but I won’t hold my breath for anything more than that.

ESTONIA - Koit Toome & Laura  “Verona” - Sounds a bit retro, but not in a bad way. Laura’s facial expression during the chorus bothers me a bit though.

FINLAND -  Norma John “Blackbird” - I love Finland for always taking a risk. Doesn’t always work but I appreciate the effort even if the song crashes and burns spectacularly. Wonderfully dark and definitely something I would listen to normally but I’m not sure if it will keep my attention sufficiently enough during a lengthy (Semi-)final. 

FRANCE - Alma “Requiem” - One of my personal favs this year. Fell in love with the tune from the start. Would I had preferred it if they stuck with the original version? Hell yes. Do I think version with English added is as horrendous as everybody says, not really but everything will depend on the live performance I think. I’m 100% behind another song but I’ll be hoping and praying that she does well in the final.  

GEORGIA -  Tako Gachechiladze “Keep the faith” - This song annoys me greatly. 

GERMANY - Levina “Perfect life” - I have to stop forgiving otherwise-generic pop tunes for having lyrics that tick my fancy despite everything. That said, it could have been worse.

GREECE - Demy “This is love” - Good but a bit too generic. 

HUNGARY -  Joci Pápai “Origo” - Not exactly my cup of tea at first listen, but it’s rapidly growing on me, to the point that it’s squeezing past other entries to be one of my favs before I knew it. Can do without the rap; it’s extremely jarring. That chorus though. SUPERB.

ICELAND - Svala “Paper” - I quite like it, but don’t exactly love it (yet?). Need to give it a few more listens but I can see it growing on me a lot more in the coming weeks.

IRELAND -  Brendan Murray “Dying to try” - It’s growing on me. Mostly because of his voice. The song itself is a bit forgettable but not so disastrously average that it can’t be salvaged by a live performance that knocks it out of the park. But even so the left side of the final voting table might be a bit of a stretch.

ISRAEL -  Imri Ziv “I feel alive” - It’s okay but doesn’t stay in your memory for long.

ITALY -  Francesco Gabbani “Occidentali’s Karma” - Remember what I said about being 100% behind one song? WELL THIS IS IT! I was already sold by the joyous, fun, and all-around spectacular performance at San Remo, but then I read the lyrics. AND I AM BLOWN AWAY. This man is a genius. This is Italian pop at its very best even without understanding the lyrics, complete with a staging that can do very well in Kyiv. But with the lyrics? Such a clever critique of Western appropriation and commercialization of Eastern philosophies disguised as a perfect explosion of effervescent joy. My only worries: he needs to do some major cutting to make it fit within the time limit, and there won’t be a live orchestra in Kyiv for the “ale!” moment with raised bows, so I’m crossing my fingers that everything will come together perfectly even with these restraints, and that there will be improvements in the staging that help carry the messages in the lyrics across to a non-Italian-speaking audience. (and the length of this alone is a testament of how much more I love this one above all other entries. Italy2018 please!)

LATVIA - Triana Park “Line” - Latvia’s been on a roll since Aminata! It’s not quite on the level of the last two years imho, but great song nonetheless.

LITHUANIA -  Fusedmarc “Rain of revolution” - ...Aaaaaand right from my most favorite to least. No. Just, no. 

MACEDONIA -  Jana Burčeska “Dance alone” - I won’t cringe if it comes on while I’m partying at a club, but I won’t love the DJ for putting it on either.

MALTA -  Claudia Faniello “Breathlessly” - Another boring ballad stuck in the dead zone between “not bad” and “not great.”

MOLDOVA -  SunStroke Project “Hey, Mamma!” - Oh this is fun! I can dance to this one. Not masterpiece material but it doesn’t aspire to be one either. It brings the party, and that’s all it needs to do for a job well-done, I’d say.

MONTENEGRO -  Slavko Kalezić “Space” - I would rather spend the time staring into blank space. No thanks. 

THE NETHERLANDS -  OG3NE “Lights and shadows” - Like Estonia’s entry, this one is also a bit retro, with a dash of Glee thrown in as well. I know I definitely want them to qualify, and probably even end up on the left side of the chart during the finals, but something about the song just doesn’t quite do it for me.

NORWAY - JOWST “Grab the moment” - It’s growing on me. A lot of Norway’s songs tend to be growers for me. I don’t think it will quite get there though. 

POLAND - Kasia Moś “Flashlight” - This can either be a dark horse or a disaster depending on how she performs live and the staging. I fell in love with the music video version but the live version from the national final left me a bit flat. We’ll wait and see I suppose. 

PORTUGAL -  Salvador Sobral “Amar Pelos Dois” - Marvellously quaint, reminiscent of one’s best dreams under the Mediterranean sky, best enjoyed with headphones and your eyes closed...WAIT. “Your eyes closed?” Yeah, that’s my main worry with this song. Someone please get that boy a good stylist so that he doesn’t look like a library-dwelling classics major pulled on-stage last minute after a week of all-nighters. And add some better staging too. But, yeah, best wishes for a top-five finish Portugal!

ROMANIA -  Ilinca feat. Alex Florea “Yodel it!” - I am reminded of how much I came to love “My Slowanie” from Poland. It never pretends to be anything deep or profound, but Ilinca just sells it so well. 

RUSSIA -  Yulia Samoylova “Flame is burning” - Funny that Russia chose a song with this title... Politics and transparent appeal for sympathy points to counteract booing and flaming aside, it’s an okay song and she’s not necessarily a bad singer, but by GOD if you can’t even fake passable English by hiring any half-way decent diction coach then stick to Russian!

SAN MARINO -  Valentina Monetta & Jimmie Wilson “Spirit of the night” - It’s fine, I guess. Just heard it again in the last hour but already forgot how it went.

SERBIA -  Tijana Bogićević “In too deep” - See last comment.

SLOVENIA -  Omar Naber “On my way” - *Facepalm*. Enough said.

SPAIN -  Manel Navarro “Do it for your lover” - Makes the last one I commented on sound decent, if not good, by comparison.

SWEDEN -  Robin Bengtsson “I can’t go on” - What happened Sweden? You’ve been going downhill since Mans in 2015. I always want to vote for Sweden because they host it so well but this definitely sound like they are trying their hardest to avoid Sweden2018. Not even my everlasting love for Petra (+Mans) as the host will make this less cringeworthy. 

SWITZERLAND -  Timebelle “Apollo” - I quite like it. Despite myself. The red dress she wore during live performance certainly doesn’t hurt. 

UKRAINE -  O.Torvald “Time” - Definitely refreshing, and mad points to Ukraine for the second entry in a row that’s different from the Eurovision norm, but this isn’t exactly good rock is it? 

UNITED KINGDOM -  Lucie Jones “Never give up on you” - Good showing for UK. In general? Not so much. Kind of like Denmark this year, really, with a combination of good vocalist and subpar song, but this song is a step (or two. or three) down from Denmark’s. 

Top 3 Picks:

Italy - “Occidentali’s Karma,” Francesco Gabbani

France - “Requiem,” Alma

Portugal - “Amar Pelos Dois,” Salvador Sobral

(I’m noticing a theme for my top picks...)

[not-a-realexchangeblog]

Eurovision 2016 vs. 2017

Ok I know I’m already a little extra about Eurovision, but I really wanted to make this comparison between last year’s entries vs this year’s, mostly to organize my thoughts about the 2017 contest. Eurovision mutuals feel free to hmu with your opinions! (my top out of the 2016 and 2017 entries for each country will be bolded) (Also I stole this idea from @eurosong )

Albania: Fairytale vs World

Alright I think we can all agree that both of these songs should’ve skipped the Albanian to English revamp. Both were pretty mediocre in English, but I think I can get behind Lindita as being the better vocalist here. 

Armenia: LoveWave vs Fly with Me 

Will Fly with Me make any of my Spotify playlists? No probably not. But I have to appreciate Armenia’s attempt to produce an entry that honors both Armenian and East Asian cultural elements. It’s going to be one of the more interesting acts in Kyiv that’s for sure. 

Australia: Sound of Silence vs Don’t Come Easy

This decision was pretty easy, and not because I was a fan of Dami or her act. Don’t Come Easy is ridiculously bland and just makes me kind of sad watching it.

Austria: Loin d’ici vs Running on Air

Good thing we can count on Austria for songs with cutesy lyrics that don’t cut deep in any way whatsoever. Running on Air however is considerably less repetitive than Loin d’ici. Though I wanted to like Loin d’ici for the sole fact it was in French, the children’s book-esque staging and lyrics left me bitter it made it to the finals. 

Azerbaijan: Miracle vs Skeletons

Ok so I originally really liked the video for Miracle and had Samra easily in my top 10. Then she performed it live at the semis and made me want to put my ears out of their misery- one of my biggest ESC 2016 disappointments. If Dihaj can sing Skeletons live better than my cat could, it’s the clear winner of the two. 

Belarus: Help you fly vs Historyja majgo zyccia

The most clear choice I made on this entire list. To me Naviband brings such a modern folk feel to Eurovision that we haven’t seen from anyone else this year and their use of Belarusian saved Slavic language from extinction in the contest. Maybe if ESC had approved Ivan’s live wolves last year I would’ve felt more nostalgic towards his act too? 

Belgium: What’s the pressure vs City Lights

City Lights hands down. Belgium decided in one year that they decided to advance 4 decades in musical style. I guess what was cringiest about What’s the Pressure to me was that it couldn’t quite decide what era it belonged to. If you’re going to bring disco garbage to Eurovision at least commit to it. 

Bulgaria: If love was a crime vs Beautiful Mess

Honestly, If Love was a Crime’s performance in the finals shocked me. I think its upbeat style was superior to Bulgaria’s entry this year, though I have to admit I wasn’t a fan. Possibly because it took me 6 months to  figure out that she was saying  дай ми любовта in Bulgarian as opposed to incomprehensible English.

Croatia: Lighthouse vs My Friend

Feel like I’m comparing apples to oranges here, but for me the bronchitis, hair and wardrobe disaster edges out the Italian opera/English pop worst of both worlds act. 

Cyprus: Alter Ego vs Gravity

Not gonna lie, I still listen to Alter Ego. Back in 2016 I knew it wasn’t the style for Eurovision, but at least it was ORIGINAL. Gravity isn’t as bad as the Youtube comments would suggest, but it’s definitely a step back for Cyprus when it comes to originality. 

Czechia: I Stand vs My Turn

Both are garbage. But props to Czechia for finally qualifying. 

Denmark: Soldiers of Love vs Where I Am

A bit of a hard choice. I’m always down for a boy band though, and to me, Lighthouse X beats out the screecher from Down Under. 

Estonia: Play vs Verona

Unpopular opinion: Juri wasn’t ripped off. Though I didn’t want him in the grand finals, he’s still better than the toxic duo Estonia promoted this year. 

Finland: Sing it away vs Blackbird

At least Sing it Away was fun ?  Finland is not performing to the best of their potential. Regardless of whether Blackbird’s “staging is amazing”, its lack of climax and generally disappointing vocals will 100% keep it in the semis. 

France: J’ai cherché vs Requiem

Frankly both are incredible and Eurovision is one of the only things I love about France. (Requiem would’ve been my winner had it not been for the English chorus no one asked for)

Georgia: Midnight Gold vs Keep the Faith

Unpopular opinion #2: Keep the Faith is in my Top 3 for 2017. I really do not understand the hate Tako gets- I think her song has an amazing message and outstanding vocals (that will hopefully be a little less screechy in the semis). When this song inevitabley does not qualify for the finals, I will lose hope in ESC. 

Germany: Ghost vs Perfect Life

Unpopular opinion #57584948: I vibed with Ghost. Is it my proudest confession? nope. Perfect Life SCREAMS Black Smoke 2015 and we know how that went. 

Greece: Utopian Land vs This is Love

Utopian Land was gross, but its one saving grace was the Greek lyrics. This is Love sounds like it came off the credits of a live action Disney film that flopped hard. That being said, I’m not buying Greece’s “safe” selection to get back into the finals this year. 

Hungary: Pioneer vs Origo

I’m convinced that if I had smoked 5 packs a day and hit the gyms leading up to Eurovision 2016, I could’ve out-performed Freddie. Origo isn’t exactly the shining beacon of Eurovision multilingualism for me, but the Balkan musical elements help detract from the awkward voice and rap. 

Iceland: Here them calling vs Paper 

Here them calling didn’t deserve the finals and neither does Paper. Paper’s lyrics are not “deep” “next level” or “misunderstood”, there were way better lyrics to be written to speak up about emotional health. trust me. 

Ireland: Sunlight vs Dying to Try

Honestly I don’t care enough to take a strong stance. I don’t know how Ireland did it in the 90′s because now they are ~Forgettable~

Israel: Made of Stars vs I Feel Alive 

I loved Hovi. His song and vocal abilities were incredible. Personally would’ve ditched the unnecessary ring prop/backup dancers that killed the live performance. Israel is another country that rarely fails me at Eurovision, and I’m excited for Imri Ziv this year. 

Italy: No degree of separation vs Occidentali’s Karma

No Degree of Separation was one of the songs that gradually grew on me last year and I was rooting for Francesca in the finals. Her nervous stage presence is what puts Occidentali’s Karma on top for me. Occidentali’s Karma really embodies the spirit of Eurovision this year, but I’m curious to see how Francesco deals with the clunky verse two black hole. 

Latvia: Heartbeat vs Line 

Didn’t think Heartbeat deserved the finals last year but it sure as hell deserved it more than Line does. Line is not cool creepy, it’s just creepy. I’m predicting another sub-par year for the Baltics. 

Lithuania: I’ve been waiting for this night vs Rain of Revolution 

Despite my apathy towards the Baltic countries, Donny was by far the act that grew on me the most last year. I might’ve reluctantly subjected myself to I’ve Been Waiting for This Night only a handful of times before the finals, but I must admit I’ve listened to it since. 12 points from me for the flip on stage. 

Macedonia: Dona vs Dance Alone 

KALIOPI IS MY QUEEN AND I CRIED WHEN EUROPE CRUSHED HER HOPES AND DREAMS

Malta: Walk on water vs Breathlessly 

Props for performing Walk on Water while prego? Also, Breathlessly is arguably the most boring ballad of 2017

Moldova: Falling Stars vs Hey, Mamma! 

The only redeeming quality of Hey, Momma! is that Epic Sax Guy is back. Luckily, that’s one more redeeming quality than Moldova’s last entry had. 

Montenegro: The Real Thing vs Space  

I refuse to even rank these because both are total shit and Montenegro should go back to producing cultural gems or just drop out of Eurovision. 

Netherlands: Slow down vs Lights and Shadows  

Have to go with Douwe Bob on this one. Slow Down was one of my favorites all of last year and The Netherlands have proven that country can work at Eurovision. Lights and Shadows could rival it for me, but this depends a lot on the staging and live performance (I wasn’t a fan of the artistic choices made in the video). 

Norway: Icebreaker vs Grab the Moment  

Not sure how I feel about the bridge to Grab the Moment, but almost anything is better than Icebreaker. 

Poland: Color of your life vs Flashlight  

Polish Jesus brought life to Eurovision last year and I am forever grateful. Flashlight is another boring balad but will do well bc Poland. 

Portugal: Há um mar que nos separa vs Amar pelos dois

My buddy Salvador got lucky here because although I enjoy the song, his stage presence is by far the most uncomfortable I’ve seen. I’ll probably close my eyes for the semis. 

Romania: Moment of Silence vs Yodel It!  

1. Romania’s disqualification last year was a tragedy 2. No one asked for Rap/Yodel fusion and it’s as shitty as it sounds

Russia: You are the only one vs Flame Is Burning  

Glad Russia viewed using a disabled person as a shield against booing as higher of a priority than sending another quality act this year  

San Marino: I didn’t know vs Spirit of the Night  

At least Serhat was bad in an endearing kind of way. San Marino needs to stick with the ironically awful acts. 

Serbia: Shelter vs In Too Deep  

Shelter is the superior performance here, but I’m still waiting for another Marija Serifovic

Slovenia: Blue and red vs On My Way  

I’ll take the Slovenian Taylor Swift knockoff over the Sloevnian sexual predator any day. I’m also ashamed to be Slovenian. 

Spain: Say yay! vs Do It for Your Lover

 Do It for Your Lover is bad but not

that

bad. Say Yay! hurt my ears right at the first chorus. An entirely Spanish entry would be my preference, but apparently the Spanish jury doesn’t feel the same way. 

Sweden: If I were sorry vs I Can’t Go On

I guess I never got hit by the Frans train last year. Sweden sends the most basic, mainstream songs to Eurovision year after year and somehow does well. These two songs are no exception. 

Switzerland: Last of our kind vs Apollo  

Anything over Last of our Kind and whatever the hell her dance was. On the other hand, maybe it was the kind of comedic relief we need out of Eurovision. I’m personally not a fan of Apollo but I think it will probably do well. 

Ukraine:1944 vs Time

Hard choice, but in the end, 1944 was a winner. I was a huge fan of 1944 all the way (mostly because of the Tatar) but I am also a fan of Time. In a year with so many ballads (both good and bad), Time will certainly stick out and I wish them the best. 

United Kingdom:You’re not alone vs Never Give Up on You

You’re Not Alone was at least cute and cheesy. Never GIve Up on You is only a cheesy and fake ballad. Both songs manage to get stuck in your head, but not necessarily in a good way.