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cryptidw00rm · 1 year

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draculaura with some very subtle pinoy influence 🦇💕

#ill do it more obviously some day #draculaura #draculaura dracula #monster high #monster high gen 3 #snart

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thestarofcottonland · 3 months

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i pray my bf never finds out how friendless i am its so embarrassing . i havent been sad about it in a long time. but i kinda am tonight

#i have coworkers i get along really well with but i dont feel any way i can connect with them outside of work nor do i feel they want to #i have ghosted every guy friend online because they were more like guys that hit on me and sometimes we talked about games #and ive been okay since then with just my bf. but sometimes on my days off when hes busy. i feel really alone #i dont want to be isolated but i always end up this way.....i wish i had girl friends....v_v #and as per my post im obviously not going to tell my bf im struggling with my loneliness lol hell no....ill just get over it by tomorrow...#i go to work and it takes my mind off everything else #need some hobbies need to get lost in something on my off days #squeaks

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carcarrot · 2 months

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i love my job that's like if you asked someone to design a place specifically meant to frustrate, torture and overstimulate an anxious person

#i cant do this anymore. i obviously will but like i cant do this anymore #you might think college-eduated professional people in a fancy office building would have some understanding of personal space and manners #but you'd be wrong!#i am staying in this job for everything aside from the actual job itself which i hate #im just here for the pay the insurance and the time off #and the fact that i can carve out important goofing off time during work hours. which just means i can be on my phone lmao #that being said i do sometimes miss my cafe job #i was more my own boss there and often worked completely alone (yay)#whereas here even though im kinda the boss of my own floor. i still have to deal w my dumb supervisor and coworkers and manager #plus at the cafe i had sole control of the music that played there. very important. lots of steely dan #sometimes when the work got really busy it sucked and was overwhelming but it would stil calm down eventually #and ill always hate dealing with annoying customers. but at least there they LEFT #here its the same assortment of idiots every goddamn day. and theyre always around #like yeah the cafe job had annoying things (taking out the trash from the basement. up stairs)#but it did have its fun moments #it just didnt pay nearly as good as this job and had no insurance or paid time off. oh well #this has me thinking abt what if i owned my own place. but i don't wanna

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toxooz · 1 year

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Hi Toxooz, how do you get yourself to draw so frequently? 👀👀👀

bc i have literally 84 things going on at once in my brain at all times that my highly visually obsessed brain Has To physically get in front of my eyes so that i can see or else will i think abt it over and over again and Brother I'm always envisioning things characters scenes scenarios outfits designs colors all of it in my cranium like angry itchy itchy ITCHY bees until i draw them out lmfao even if i don't know what to specifically draw at the current moment imma still end up drawing somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think at this point it's literally hardwired into my brain that I Gotta draw its what I've been doing since I could hold a pencil tbh it's how i cope with being -gestures vaguely- Here and alive, i actually gotta force myself to take a day off and schedule days where I DONT draw bc I know it's wearing on my hands and wrists 😬 I guess physically drawing grounds me in a way and keeps me (mostly) sane like if I don't draw for a few days i start getting Vaguely Antsy it's fukkin weird and i think at this point my love for my characters has surpassed like any form of art block if that makes sense??? like they literally take up 92% of my brain if not more, and the only way to see them is to draw them but yeah it's just what i do it's my jelly n my jam which is why I'm literally so glad i realized that i don't want to make drawing a job/career bc God help me if i start dreading drawing bc of the stress of money I've been drawing like crazy for like 2 decades straight and I only wanna draw more man idk!!!!! It's just one of them 'how the brain formed around what you do an assload of times' thangs

Answer translation: idk I just like to draw a lot lmfao

#its like the kids say ✨💅its how i express myself✨💅#and dont get it twisted im aware this is not healthy lmfao #dont aspire to b like me just draw or dont draw man its abt the want #like i said drawing is just What I Do at this point i didnt train theres not some ''oh draw for at least 30 minutes a day' shit #i draw fast as shit (probably obviously ) and so much its probably unnatural AHA #the secret is make drawing the only outlet for your brain to not completely self implode at the mere idea of existing #for 24 years!!!!! :)#honestly thats why im getting progressively more Tired when every mf and their grandma tries to convince me to sell my shits #like brother this is a part of me how can i give away something i created and inevitably formed a bond with for like 100 bucks #i caint do it and so if i go in with the expectation to imediately give it away then man i dont even want to be making art in the first pl #like for me Personally if im not going to make something that i fall in love with and want to look at occasionally then #Literally what is the point of me making anything #what is the point of me making my body and mind create a piece if not for my own personal joy???#but thats just physical art ig #like digital stuff and selling it for money if some1 wants it im aight but physical paintings??? that shit is Me and Mine #like just bc i Can make art doesnt immediately mean i need to make money from it yknow #my brother in christ when it comes to the the only true outlet for me to find joy and inspiration in living i Do Not care about money #i will take any amount of shitty job abuse if it means i conserve my passion #ill get a scarring accident from welding before i will stress cry over a deadline for a project that i dont even want to do #absolutely terrified of that path and feeling it is The Worst for me #like literally thank FUCK i realized this when i was just in a community college and not balls deep in debt at some fancy university #granted late as all hell and all my opportunities of taking free welding classes in my early years have long passed but still glad #just stick me on an abandoned island with canvases n paint n shit and ill b fine #god knew if i managed my time better and wasnt Really Fucking Exhausted all the time i would be unstoppable #like ofc making money while drawing what i want is the dream no doubt but the chances of that are slim and the road to get there is even #slimmer #ANYWAY holy shit not to get hella preachy but i have Thots

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srkgirlblogger · 2 months

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#the day was going so well until my mom decided to be mean to me for no reason in a piblic space where i was already feeling scared and over #stimulated. i wanted to try out the skateboards in decathlon but there were too many people and i got scared. and my mom suddenly said that #the skateboard that she was going to buy for me after/on my birthday. she had decided to buy now. since we were alr in theshop and i said no #way bec i hadnt decided which one i wanted yet and i was soo panicked. and then after some time when id calmed down a bit and was gonna try #to skate anyways she started questioning me abt when i planned on peacticing and where i was gonna do it and i obviously just started saying #things that i thought she would approve of. and then she told me i didnt have the time management skills or resolve to make it work. and she #just kept on passive aggressively bullying me until i just couldnt do it anymore and i told her i wanted go leave the store bc she was #spoiling the mood. and then she started bullying me louder and she told me to stop blaming her bc she was only asking me a question and she #didn't want to waste any more money on things that i wasnt gonna do even though ive wanted a skateboard for years now and have been actively #asking her for months. and i just lost my emergy and my appetite and i wanted to leave the mall and go home but insteaf she gook us to a #bagel place that ive been trying to get her to take us even though i felt like throwing up before we even left the mall and i told her i #didnt want to go there. and my brother even told her that she was ruining things for everyone. and he still ended up blaming me in the end.#but whatever. i kept getting flashbacks to insanely traumatic moments where shed yelled at or bullied me or cornered me or tried to #embarass me in public. and this is most likely my last year at home. and my last year of childhood. and its all going to be remembered in my #brain as underwhelming and depressing and mostly horrible. and im going to leave home and never cone back and my last year at home is going #to be just as shitty as every other year and ill just have to deal with that and try to build something good and new and kind when i leave #she shouldnt speak to her own children like this. she shouldnt be looking for reasons to make things miserable for me all the time like this #i should study. my head hurts. my entire body hurts so bad #delete later

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lunar-fey · 3 months

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actually fuck this job forever 👍

#i got so fucking stressed yesterday that i caused a fucking flare up and now i cant stop throwing up #i called off and . idk. i have to go in to the office today to get paperwork.#im gonna very firmly talk to them about changing my schedule #i hate to do that after literally only one day #but i have several excuses prepared #and hopefully i can just get my scedule changed.#i think . worst case. well worse case they just go damn you suck . leave. and then im just Fucked again for money #cause i never even got enough to pay my shit this monthso i had to borrow some money from my parents #but maybe i can just. drop my first shift. which will leave me with only 10 hours a week #but if they really only have morning shifts erm. this may not work out #i havent gotten morning sickness in a long time but its a known symptom of one of my chronic illnesses #plus the stress obviously bc my first client is very disabled and needs more accomodation than i can provide bc im also disabled #idk guys. its only been one day but this For Real isnt working out how it is rn.#i was reading back over my employee handbook tho and it says employees can quit any time #in the first 60 days wirhout penalty so im hoping that means i can also change shifts without penalty...

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elibeeline · 3 months

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Nevermind how do i stop the panic attack before it starts

#so focused on having a good time that i forgot to actually talk to my friends and interact with moots #and now it is A Bad Time because now im trying to talk in said groupchats and im being ignored and i might cryyyyy #feeling very Forgotten because i dont think ive been addressed directly by any of them in a fucking while #and obviously i cant just say 'do you guys hate me' bc obviously they can just type 'noooo of course not 🥺🥺' and continue hating me anyway #as is the bliss of social media #im gonna try talking some more but :') i fear ill just embarrass myself #like talking in a group but trailling off because no ones listening?? its felt like that for a few days n9w #might cry about it ✌️

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stevethehairington · 4 months

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only 133 pages leeeeft!!! i am SO finishing this book tomorrow!

#i would keep reading tonight to get throygh as much of that as i can but i am. Tired. 😩#but it's sooooo being finished tomorrow!!!#ive been reading at least 100 pages a day the past week so 133 tomorrow will be a piece of cake #but then that means ill be finished with book 2 of the month/year!#AND that i will be able to finally watch the tv show the terror lol #curious to see what they do with that #also curious to see how it wraps up in this last little chunk!#i have some. hm. mild thoughts about the book.#(mild as in fairly netural)#obviously im not done yet but of the majority that i have read id say its not super bad or super good just kind of in the middle #ill have More to say im sure once i finish so i wont Get Into It here but ye #🤙🤙🤙#almost done!!#mack reads #mack reads the terror

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kingjasnah · 2 years

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i maintain snw spock is waaaay too well adjusted like im not saying having a semi successful romantic relationship changes his character so completely but where is the man who broke down sobbing like two seconds after he touched the naked time virus. where is the guy from the galileo seven. wheres the repression.

#i actually do like ethan pecks take on the character but im sorry he needs to be a hundred times more fucked up #he just feels like a late series spock which obviously doesnt track #snw #st: snw #strange new worlds #this was actually what i thought about aos spock lol. like if he was already in that successful relationship #it nixes some of the anxieties and insecurities he's plagued with from day one #and again i think zach quinto did a surprisingly convincing version of Spock but it changes the character #also i havent watched spock amok yet if that changes things ill retract immediately

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the-busy-ghost · 11 months

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Am re-reading Hogg's Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner and I know it's not a new or original thought but it's just striking to me again how young George (younger) and his brother Robert must have been during the tennis match and Black Bull mob scenes.

If the 'famous session' refers to the 1703 session of parliament (or even if it refers to the previous year's sitting which Queensberry also oversaw), and if old Dalcastle married in 1687 (or later), then at most George could have been 16 and his brother 15, and it's probable that both boys are younger.

I don't remember too many of the details from the first time I read this book so will have to finish it before I make any further judgement. However I don't think it detracts from Robert's culpability or nastiness in any way to take into account his probable age in the earlier portion of the narrative. I think makes for a more interesting reading when forcibly reminded that he's a young teenager. Even taking into account different social mores and expectations placed on children in both the period in which the novel is set, and the early 19th century when it was written, it seems to me that that's an element that will still have particular significance for readers in the 21st century, regardless of one's personal experience with extreme forms of Presbyterianism.

#I mean it's probably been said before I haven't read much analysis of the novel in a while- or at least not of the psychology aspect #But I do feel that the image you first get in your head is that Robert is at least in his late teens and early 20s #at the time of the tennis match nonsense- I.e. a grown up demonic genius albeit with a chip on his shoulder #I'd say he's probably about 14?#Idk if anybody else remembers being 14 but oh boy does that make sense #I mean he's still a very unpleasant teenage boy don't get me wrong but nonetheless #In our day and age even grown adults are regularly affected by all kinds of brainrot and conspiracy theory stuff #We live in the internet age but I'm not entirely sure that there aren't comparisons to be drawn #Between unpleasant child Robert - called a wonderful boy by his parents; convinced he is Elect #highly book smart but deeply aware that there is something wrong about his family #Being tempted continually by visions of the Devil and raised in an age of constant civil and religious debate and strife #Where every side is utterly convinced of the complete moral validity and right of their own particular views #And some kid today coming out with all sorts of absolute nonsense as a result of being exposed to internet brainrot #Be it fascism or misogyny or even political views that I agree with but can become dogma and conspiracy theory in the wrong hands #In particular Robert's been raised in a very dogmatic household but also told exceptions will be made for him because he's special #Also something something late 17th century print culture boom and propaganda wars vs 21st century internet etc is this anything #I'm not necessarily saying this is a story for our times all I'm saying is there are timeless qualities in it #(Obviously that's what makes it a classic it's just I tend to notice more the portrayals of ill-made marriage #or Edinburgh mob violence and was less interested in the psychology of Mummy's Little Fanatic on the first reading)#Possibly the early part of the novel accidentally gives the impression that Robert is slightly older #because of throwaway lines like George mistaking him for a student of divinity #Even if Robert had been attending the university though that doesn't track #Based on what I remember of early 16th century norms and what little I know of late 18th century stuff #It would be perfectly normal for university students in Scotland in this period to start around the age of 14 #Some went even earlier- I definitely remember coming across lads who matriculated at the age of 12 or 13 or younger #Idk maybe I was the only one who had that particular image of him as a young adult in my head #Maybe I was the only one who was too stupid to work this out earlier and it affected my reading #But still if there's one thing I'm taking away from this re-read it's going to be 'Dear god that is a 13/14/15 year old boy'#That being said don't want to overdo it; as a former teenage girl I used to hate when reading the Crucible and people were all #Oh that's just OBVIOUSLY what all teenage girls are like so not trying to compartmentalise boys; but at the same time o.O

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perenlop · 1 year

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journeys is one of the most disheartening pokeani arcs because you can tell they had a decent setup for it but also that they had no clue what they wanted to do and lost steam partway through

#tbh some of the decisions legit make me wonder if a lot of it was pushed by tpci and they had to make a ton of changes #like. idk if id go as far as saying they made them add ash at the last minute but i do think tpci was weird about his arc here #while im glad they did choose to conclude his character in JN i do feel like SM was a good stopping point for him #and like i wonder if the original plan was for goh to be the sole protagonist bc he feels more realized than ash does in this arc #obviously i dont think that was a plan for very long if it even was a plan at all bc ash is so important to the show #but like at the very least i think they were just confused and not sure how to handle ash #and this is purely speculation on my part dont take it as gospel but i wonder if theres like a ton of mandates around ash #that makes it a bit harder to write stories around him these days. like in OS he was allowed to be a fuckhead basically #but now that hes basically a second mascot for the entire franchise i imagine theres a lot of strings attached to him now #like thats the real reason he never ages or anything its a lot of corporate stuff.#and despite JN supposedly having more freedom than any other series they probably couldnt do too much with ash or something #idk if that really tracks well with SM tho ill have to check once im there #but idk maybe thats why he and pikachu both are weirdly characterized there #echoed voice

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picavecalyx · 1 year

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#ooc ;; pterodolphin has no devil fruit #one more thought before i pass the fuck out because this shit lives rent free in my brain #sits here and thinks about how.#the experiments--if they were only to grow a connection with yveltal--could have ended. very. VERY early.#much earlier than how far they went.#there was obviously a shift at some point. from just creating that bond. to almost. duplicating and 'improving' the initial design.#ive mentioned before but silva holds a lot of untapped and unstable potential. that goes beyond the original yveltal.#not only that but since shes started to take life with everytime she sets off--shes collected...a LOT MORE...that what is currently #within the sleeping yveltal.#its just interesting.#maybe one day ill write a post of how the experiments actually worked but to summarize as simply as possible.#also because im still sorta. dojng research on it.#it was a mix of DNA splicing with the slumbering yveltal/yveltal dna.#and also literal connecting of brain waves between the two.#the DNA splicing was initially the *secondary* of the experiments. with the bond being the primary.#which is why silva developed the nightmares/night terrors SO quickly--about half a year into the actual experiments.#the DNA splicing was meant to reinforce and assure there wouldnt be a rejection. it was almost an 'extension' of the mind.#in i BELIEVE either viruses or bacteria; the little endings will resemble/duplicate the body's endings so that it isnt seen as foreign #and thus isnt attacked.#thats basically what the splicing was to do.#it was creating an artificial link with the added reinforcement of at first JUST making...a slightly closer bond via sort of 'becoming' it.#this. this moved pretty quickly into a shift of the bond being secondary because it was discogered pretty fast that. hey!!#the connection was easily made. how to make it stronger?#well theres only one yveltal. making another is like making an 'extension' of the first.#silva is essentially...a very convoluted clone. in a way.#she is turning into a cloned and enhanced yveltal thanks to the dna splicing becoming the FOCUS.#and given how early that was started; it made her body very. very. moldable #it still is extremely moldable.#ANYWAY IM RAMBLING ITS 3 AM #i sleep <3 maybe ill make this stuff into an actual post LMAO i love exploring this shit its fun as fuck

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thehardkandy · 1 year

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I got a burger building mini game working today. Very jazzed about it since I think it works pretty well as far as things go. It demands players build a burger from a list of recipes with an arbitrary number of modifications, and it puts out those extra demands out in a player readable way. Then you can ofc build the burger, remove and restock ingredients, and finally validate that it is correct along a number of different criteria that can be reported separately. I think I could do many of it's parts in a far smarter way, but for now I got things divvied up enough I'm still happy with it. Now it can wait on the other parts for refinement, which I already have marked into the code as todos (i.e. sound and visual effects, delays, etc.).

I've also been doing a sort of... Meta study of my work habits as I have built this thing specifically because I'm trying to optimize my programming for the future. I'm past the point of worrying about the question "can I do x" and instead I'm focusing on the question "can I do x quickly and effectively". So I've been keeping an eye on the kind of code that always gets thrown out, or the kinds of structures and functionality I should learn before I work on the next system. I've also been trying to figure if there are other even higher level practices I should be looking into to improve my workflow. I think I have a few general ideas and notes so far so I can hopefully to continue speeding up my development

#for example im still trying to figure out the right use cases for getters and setters #since they are obviously useful but just. havent worked into my workflows much #i also continue to think i should shift to typescript some day #but i also don't want to relearn specifically the interactions with sugarcube again if its too diff #but it might make me more employable to have actual experience in it idk #like i think it's fine if i don't but i slso sorta miss strong typing #maybe ill just do a trial project adapting something that already works #to see if i like the look/feel on the other side

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dysaren · 4 months

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husband!gojo ✮| headcannons

gojoxfem!reader

MDNI -> warnings: afab reader (but anyone can read yk), sfw&nsfw, arranged marriage, slight angst, comfort, pet names, flufflufffluff!, cunnilingus, gojo is pussy whipped, fingering, creamycreamycreamiest creampies, reader calls gojo daddy!, tummypushing

a/n: i had a dream abt this with some random guy and when i woke up i was so disappointed :(( LOL angwah heres some quick gojo headcannons bc i truly miss him and im so lonely.

husband!gojo who you married per each family’s request, making your marriage an arranged one.

husband!gojo who hated the idea of being tied down.

husband!gojo who couldnt wait for the ceremony to end, however when he watched you walk down the aisle, looking so innocent, he felt a tug at his heartstrings.

husband!gojo who didnt know what to do when on your honeymoon. he didnt know whether or not to interact with you or to keep his distance like he promised himself. he decides for the latter.

husband!gojo who enjoys coming to work everyday after his honeymoon because his cute little wife always delivers his lunch to him despite not asking you to.

husband!gojo who starts to soften even more when he sees that you wait for him to come home from work. youre usually sleeping on the couch. he gently scoops you up in his arms and takes you to bed.

husband!gojo who sees that you start getting tired of the routine after a while. making his lunches, waiting for him to come home late. you stop delivering his lunches personally, opting to just give it to him before he leaves in the morning. he doesnt see you when he comes home either.

husband!gojo who makes sure to wash up before slipping into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you . he missed you.

husband!gojo who feels you wake the next morning, obviously confused to see his arms around you. he sighs before bringing you closer to his chest.

husband!gojo who whispers apologies and sweet nothings in your ear as you settle yourself into him with suspicion.

he strokes your head as he says. “im sorry. i know you didnt want this marriage either. im sorry that youve been doing all this alone. i promise ill be here for you. just tell me what you need and i will do everything to help you. youve changed me y/n.”

you look at him, with creased eyebrows, obviously still not trusting him fully.

“ill give you time.” husband!gojo sighs as he lets go of you to get ready for work. you still make him lunch that day.

husband!gojo who comes home and doesnt see you on the couch. he understands that he needs to wait for your response but there is a small part of him that is wondering whether or not you have left.

husband!gojo who sighs in relief when he opens the door to your shared bedroom, seeing you all dolled up in a pretty pj set, sitting comfy on the bed.

husband!gojo who smiles when he sees your face brighten in delight. you walk up to him.

husband!gojo who is surprised when you wrap your arms around him and kiss him with your soft lips. he groans into the kiss, regretting the fact the he never kissed you after the wedding.

husband!gojo who melts to your touch as your bring him to the bed. you remove his jacket and tie as your straddle him, kissing him more harshly.

husband!gojo who makes sure youre okay with with what’s going to happen next. he kisses you again when you say yes.

husband!gojo who takes his sweet time with you. stripping you from your garments,leaving you bare infront of him. he sinks his long fingers into your sopping cunt, your head lolling back in pleasure.

husband!gojo who’s eyes roll back when he finally tastes you. youre addcitive. he laps up your juices, swirling his tongue on your clit. you cum twice on your husband’s tongue, his hands holding your legs apart so they wont close. his fingers continues to scissor you until youre screaming.

husband!gojo who fucks you in missionary position, making sure to watch your face as your react to the pleasure hes giving you.

husband!gojo who cums inside of you only to turn that cum into a creamy mess around your pussy as he pounds into you some more. he can feel his creampie dripping out of you and down his balls.

husband!gojo who enjoys how loud youve become. moaning obscenities and calling him daddy. he wants to fuck you till your dumb!

“fuck princess, youre so fucking messy. fuc—nghh..” he tries to speak but your pussy is squeezing him too well he can barely get words out.

“please daddy!! i need—aghh.. i need you! dont stopp—ahh…” you groan as you have your fourth orgasm of night.

husband!gojo who watches hearts form in your eyes when he cums inside of you for the final time. you can feel his warmth trickling into your womb.

husband!gojo who pulls out and watches his loads flood out of you. he presses on your stomach, watching as more cum gushes out of you.

husband!gojo who brings a warm towel to wipe up the cream around your sex. you moan as he does so, still recovering from all of your orgasms.

husband!gojo who wraps you up into his arms once again, praising you for how well you did.

“you did so good love..” he says stroking your back.

husband!gojo who reminds you that he has fallen in love with you and will do anything and everything in his power to make sure that you are comfortable in this marriage with him.

husband!gojo who knows the two of you will be okay when you peck him on the lips and tell him that you love him.

#gojo x you #jujutsu gojo #gojo smut #gojo fluff #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #gojou satoru x reader #gojo saturo #jujutsu kaisen

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no-one-hears-me · 10 months

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the past is gone

#there are some people that I'm not gonna see in my future. gotta decide who #tired of dealing with certain people and the misery that it brings me #such a shame to see people go. I've loved them and I always will #but they don't see me the same way and it's time to leave the past in the past #anyways. I wanna fast today but I didn't plan it so I'm not prepared so it won't go well #btw. I've never seen a proana blog talk about fasting properly don't take advice from them they don't know what they're doing #don't take any ed advice from them realistically. restricting like that isn't sustainable and it's not even efficient #since I know what I'm doing you should take ed advice from me. eat 3 meals a day and drink plenty of water and enjoy your life #I can't give ed advice bc I'm too good at it. you can't find this anywhere else I've had to learn through years of personal experience #also just don't have an ed. like that's obviously the advice I was giving where I said to eat 3 meals a day but fr do that #there's a lot of proana blogs following me and idk why since I'm not one of them I just post ed vents #idc who follows me and I don't hate the proana people bc they're just mentally ill too. I understand them #I've spent some time on proana tumblr I just never posted like that bc I don't wanna encourage ed behaviors #also bc they're wrong lmao #this is gonna sound super fucked and ik that sorry. but I have never seen a proana blogger skinnier than me but they're way more passionate #you can't eat a cucumber and diet coke daily go eat some protein and maybe some delicious pasta #eating the least amount of calories possible doesn't help anything it just makes you feel proud of yourself #eating some good mexican food will make you feel good tho trust me 🙏 so will eating proper meals throughout the day #Sera

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dhampir-dyke · 11 months

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#so wild to me that my redneck psilocybin therapy is actually working lmfao #like despite it all my mental health is insanely better and im not taking literally any psych meds. just a gram of psilocybin every #3/4 weeks in a relaxing/positive setting and a bit of mindfulness #my general constant anxiety and depression has decreased in severity by leaps and bounds- and while my cptsd/trauma responses are still #really hard on me- theyve also improved a bit. i feel like i mentally recover from them faster. i might be debilitated by a really bad #flashback/trauma response for like a day instead of a week or more #i generally feel more idk. productive? like. okay abt an hour ago i took abt 1 g of shrooms and i managed to like. do basic hygiene and #clean my apartment a bit and do some dishes. obv my perception of things is a little wonky bc. yknow. shrooms #but all in all i just feel better. like a weight is off my shoulders and i can actually be a little productive and kind to myself.#obviously anyone who tries to medicate w psilocybin without guidance from a doctor should be so careful. before i started i was #playing hell bc of the insane amt of mental illness- particularly psychosis- that runs on both sides of my family. i could have easily been #predisposed to some kinda mental breakdown/psychotic episode thatd be induced by psilocybin. you have to be careful.#but this was kindof a last ditch effort anyways lmfao- i took the risk knowing i might fuck myself up.#but!!!! it has helped me so much. just 3 months and i dont wanna kill myself anymore- after 15+ years of being actively suicidal

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