#ill probably get it next time im there

[civetside]

the doodles i doodled while i listened to the nona audio book babay! (plus my favorite pyrrha dve quotes)

[lichenbug]

her her her

[plulp]

whitney (design kinda mid but its alright ill deal with it)

[perilegs]

my sweet little baby man is no longer with us

[rapidhighway]

ok i have never bought anything from amazon and ive never preordered a game, does anyone have the slightest idea if i preorder sxsg on there, will it be delivered in a timely manner? since i live in poland? i can have like a week to play it after the games releases but i just don't know if preordering is worth the money if in the end i'll get it a month from now or something.. (i want the physical copy)

[whysopasta]

hiiii i really should be working on the next chapter but i wanted to try going over one of my finished chapters digitally as a test (i picked pilot 2 because i liked a lot of the paneling i did irl but couldn't really capture that in the original upload) and it actually went a lot smoother than i expected! eventually in the future i'd like to do the same to the other chapters but its not an immediate priority

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[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

I lowkey hate when you ask someone an urgent question and they ignore it to go GOOD MORNING, how are you? very pointedly so you're over there like oh sorry good morning, I'm good i hope you're well too! now can you tell me where the fire extinguisher is so i can put out a fire or do I need to suck your dick first?

[yellowistheraddest]

as a person who'd rather walk 4 miles back to my flat than spend 2 hours between lectures on campus i feel like 3rd year is gonna kill that habit with the amount of coursework ill have to do huddled in the corner of the library

[moodr1ng]

i always say im able-bodied bc i feel like it best describes my General Lived Experience but i do have that like. thing in my legs where if i walk briskly for some distance (like 500 meters) i get this crushing pain in my whole lower legs which gets worse and worse if i keep walking until i eventually have to sit down for a few minutes and wait for it to go away. which im still trying to get diagnosed bc so far artery scans and muscle ultrasounds render nothing. and ngl it is like, an issue often enough and is a pretty bothersome thing when it happens (like not only bc its extremely painful but also having to find some place to sit down in the middle of the street and having to stay there a while isnt awesome) so im not entirely sure "able-bodied" fully describes me but i also am not sure its a disability bc we dont know wtf it is. so i guess im kind of in a weird inbetween where i err on the side of just assuming its not a disability and its just like, an annoying body thing..

[downsteepy]

i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure

[milkweedman]

That said I brought yarn and a crochet hook but the yarn needs to be knit (found that out after crocheting the whole thing and finding its tiny, so at least I will get a lot more yardage knit) and my cotton spinning, except the cotton got wet bc its raining and it turns out I can't draft it nearly so thin until it dries more. So I'm just sitting at my desk staring into space today. Damn it.

[naenaex0xx]

maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

anyway!!! everything sucks forever I am going to start making my pd character playlists

[lethesbeastie]

I miss being able to do more than 3 things in a day.

There's something wrong with my body, with my brain. Something I haven't put a name to yet, though I've got hypothesis of what it might be. Something is plaguing my body, weighing down my limbs, my heart, my head.

Do you ever feel as if you live your life wading through water? Like you've been drowning for years, chained by your ankles to am impossible weight, struggling inch by inch across the open ocean floor?

Probably not.

I'm starting to realize the way I live is far from mundane, farther still from humane. I struggle to eat. Struggle to shower. To stop. To rest. Like a shark underwater, I swear on God it feels if I stop moving, I will drown.

I can't stop moving, can't sit still, can't escape the static that starts to stutter up my spine the moment i try. It hurts to sit more than it hurts to move, more than it hurts to grind my own joints into dust, chasing the slender phantom of nervous system regulation.

Stimming, I'd said. That's what the pacing is, that's why I have to stay on my feet from the moment I leave my bed, that's why I can't ever, ever sit still.

I'm not so sure about it now.

It hurts to sit still. Hurts to move. Hurts to think and think and think, to have ideas, to want to Make, but to be denied release by the exhaustion that plagues my body.

I'm tired. So tired. I am tired of feeling tired, of feeling both everything and nothing at all. Nervous system circuits short circuiting inside me, I'm impatient with my own exhaustion, desperate to do anything except to search for rest. No one has ever taught me how to rest.

There is something wrong with my body. Something I'm trying to name (something that the doctors will claim is nothing at all), something haunting me, parasitic in its nature, in its pupputeering of my aching, shaking hands.

I want it to get better. Want to stop feeling half dead and less than alive when I rise to greet a day that's almost over. Want to stop seeing the disappointment in my mother's eyes when once again, I cannot gather myself into some semblance of humanity long enough to do the god damned dishes.

I'm trying to fix this mom, I promise. Thank you for doing the dishes for me. I'm sorry I can't get better fast enough. Yeah, I'm tired of my bullshit too.

[dullahandyke]

all fun and games being a college student until youre lookin at recipes like 'i dont have a knife that isnt a butter knife. i only have one pot and no pan. making me buy two different types of oil seems like a scam. can i freeze homemade wedges if i make them'

[crunchycrystals]

i think ive mentioned this before but like i cannot stress enough how fucked up i think it is that i started dissociating at such a young age and continued that for months and never realized