#illogical zen

[its-a-pain-having-a-name]

For all it’s oh these things are a sign of madness, all the activities said to be done by spiral avatars is actually really fun. Like making monstrosities of clay, coffee which keeps you up at night, even drawing fractals it’s really rather relaxing it gets you into a zen meditative state, repeating the same sets of rules over and over again.

Like the voice of Michael and it’s rants are calming, they don’t really go on as lengthy rants as we remember and they don’t use so many metaphors or poetic descriptions.

But yeah the spiral for all it’s maddenings actually is pretty chill.

Also think about it letting go of certainty and right or wrong is so freeing, you’re just a deluded liar and so’s everything else. If someone is rude to you well that’s what they believe, it’s not really an us thing.

Also you start to think more abstractly, like as in being able to see how arbitrary and made up language and mathematics is, and social structures too.

Also then there is the ideas of absurdity, like we are nothing and kind of something, all things lie, and we’re no exception. So like accept others, because to them their delusions are truth as are your own.

Like chill out and stop trying to impose logic on yourself and others when you are illogical, abstract concepts

You know? It’s actually really great

[ashtons-lemon-tree]

How the boys react to a reader who struggles with keeping track of all their nicknames - Hyung line

Bang Chan

'Rhino finally wrangled his cats into their crates so he'll meet up with us in 20 minutes.' You were hoping he wouldn't catch the deer in the headlights look on your face.

If it wasn't for the mention of cats, it would've taken a few seconds longer, going down the line of who Chan was referring to as 'Rhino.'

'What just happened?' Chan now is the confused one. It was a simple statement, nothing about it should've crossed any wires. And knowing him, you were aware that he wouldn't let the matter go until you fessed up.

'I might or might not know your guys' nicknames.' Chan lets out a small giggle, not to mock or belittle you but because he genuinely finds it adorable. Spends the night going through all the boy's nicknames. 'So Minho is Mino, Lino, LK...' just going down the line. In the future, if you forget, he told you to just shoot him a text.

Minho

'Y/n, Seungmin's Minnie. You've been friends with all of us for a few months now, you really haven't figured that out?' His words sound mean but there's a genuine curiosity to it. Wondering how he hadn't figured out sooner.

Happened when he heard you muttering all the '-innie' nicknames to yourself as if checking them off one by one before going 'who the fuck is Minnie?' It's even worse when he discovers that you used to have a notes app to keep track of it all. Figuring it could be worse, you've could of made a Quizlet.

'Wait, you thought I was Minnie?' You don't know why he's shocked. It wasn't entirely illogical. Minho-Minnie. But you guess it made more sense for Seungmin, seeing it was a slight elongation of the end bit. -min.

After discovering this, he refuses to call any of the boys by their government name, plus any nicknames close to said name. So no Chan for Chris. Once learning which nicknames you struggle with the most, he makes those his go-to's.

It's part of his refusal to baby you when faced with something difficult. Knowing he would absolutely hate it if the roles were reversed and you ended up babying him. Doesn't mind you being mad or annoyed at him for it.

Changbin

‘Who’s Jikseu?’ You innocently ask, having woken up to his ringtone blaring with 5 missed phone calls from someone dubbed ‘Jikseu.’ Too tired to answer it yourself, aware that it’s probably one of the boys.

‘Why didn’t he just leave a voicemail?’ He grumbled, taking the phone from you to call ‘Jikseu’ back. Not realizing he didn’t answer your question. It was still early in the morning, Changbin having just returned from a run. It’s only until after he showers and is about to give you a ‘good morning’ kiss that he recalls what you had asked.

'Jikseu is Felix.' You let out an 'ah' sound at this, entering it into your mind palace. Mentally sounding out the syllables, attempting to mimic exactly how Changbin said it. 'He says he misses hanging out with you, by the way.' Having told the sunshine boy that they'd plan an outing soon. It was well known that Binnie enjoyed that one of his closest friends and his partner got along so well.

Slowly waiting as you finally get out of bed to eat breakfast together. 'So what nicknames do you know?' Ladling some miso soup into two separate bowls.

Hyunjin

You don't give him a chance to figure it out, knocking on the open door to his bedroom as he sat behind his easel. 'I told you not to interrupt me, Jingjingie!' Jumping in surprise when he heard your voice. 'Not Jingjingie, whoever that is.' Hyunjin placed down his palette to wrap his arms around your waist.

Continuing on like usual, 'am I annoying you?' Hyunjin tended to get lost in his own world. Holed up in his room with music turned up to 100. 'No, did that thing again.' He apologetically kissed your cheek. Assuming that you had been calling for him and he had flat out ignored said calls.

Leaving the zen-full zone you had created, your curiosity getting the best of you. 'But seriously, who's Jingjingie?' Still figuring out which of his friends you meshed with. Not having interacted with any of the other boys to think of them as whiny. 'Changbin, he's been messing with me all day.'

'Aw, he wants your attention,' you cooed. Booping his nose as you did so. 'He's being a pain in my ass is what he's being.' Despite his tone, his words had no real bite to them. 'Oh c'mon it's cute.'

[boyjumps]

Zen teachings to clear your mind 

If you look closely, you'll see the truth. The truth is not hidden. It all appears all around you.

So, if you want to know the truth, look closely, feel well. To do that, develop a good eye for it and cultivate a mind that feels well.

You just can't see the truth because your eyes are cloudy, or your mind is closed. The truth is out there in the open, with nothing to hide.

Even illogical expressions like "it's written on your face," "Being timid," and "Laughing behind the eyes" may actually represent a truth that can't be hidden.

“The earth is screaming,”

“the oceans are crying.”

Nature is the one that shows everything without hiding anything.

[languagedaemon]

The Spanish Imperfect Tense

The imperfect past tense of indicative is one of the verb tenses that can be most difficult for learners of Spanish when they are not native speakers of a Romance language such as French or Italian. In particular, the difficulty lies in differentiating it from the preterite (indefinido). Today we will look at some ways of understanding it.

1. The tree

This proposal comes from the teacher Clara Urbano Lira, and consists in considering the difference between the indefinido and the imperfect as if it were a tree. When telling a story, we will use both verb tenses, but the indefinido will represent the trunk and the branches, the fundamental part of the story, while the imperfect will be something like the leaves and the fruits or flowers, the details that make the anecdote richer and more complex, but which do not really advance the plot.

For example: En 2008 entré (ind) a la universidad. Era (imp) un lugar muy grande y podía (imp) perderme fácilmente. Tuve (ind) muy buenos profesores, compañeros muy interesantes, y crecí (ind) mucho como persona. Había (imp) muchos árboles en el campus, y la biblioteca era (imp) muy bonita, pasaba (imp) mucho tiempo leyendo allí. En mi segundo año conocí (ind) a Ernesto y caí (ind) completamente enamorada. Era (imp) un chico muy inteligente y simpático. Nos volvimos (ind) novios y tras terminar nuestros estudios decidimos (ind) casarnos.

If you notice, all the sentences with the imperfect add details, but we could take them out and we would still tell a story with the indefinido sentences: a very simple story, but one that moves forward in the end.

2. The imperfect is a present in the past.

In an article aimed at teachers, Ruiz Campillo explains that the preterite imperfect is a present in the past. This sounds like Zen wisdom, a kohan that seems illogical but which, if we let it dwell in our minds for a moment, will finally make sense. In fact, the indefinido is a kind of past-past, the action is finished, done, gone. The imperfect is a bit more complex, because it is obviously also a finished action, since it is happening in the past, but it is at the same time a kind of afterlife. In the imperfect, the action can live again, as if we were necromancers. It is as if it wasn’t finished yet, it is a finished action that is still happening, a present in the past. Crazy. Perhaps this will become clearer in the next point.

3. The projection on the wall.

I remember in my first classes as a Spanish teacher, when my students kept asking me about the meaning of the imperfect, I would resort to a metaphor that I came up with one day: that using the imperfect was like projecting a film on the wall. When we use the indefinido, it is as if we were transmitting information only, in a sense there is no narrative, it is just a chain of events, the script of the plot. In the imperfect, on the contrary, we make the film appear, the actions last, they are not finished yet, we see them live again. That is why the imperfect is a present in the past, it is a film that we can always play again.

4. Intuition

Now, and this goes for all grammar explanations: there is no problem with reading or reviewing a grammar text once in a while, for a few minutes, but don’t rely too much on them or ask them to do something they don’t have the power to do. True mastery of the imperfect, like any other element of the language, is going to come from experience, exposure. It is not as if after reading this article you will use the imperfect correctly on every occasion, that will come with practice. Little by little an intuition is generated in the student, a Sprachgefühl, which is the best tool in languages. However, a quick explanation, as this one was intended to be, can be a little push, a floatie to learn how to swim.

[natasha-in-space]

Okay I understand, maybe you can do headcanon of RFA and Saeran with MC who look exactly like Rika, maybe same name

Well, this would be a very sensitive and complicated situation for everyone involved, really. Rika was an important person for everyone in the RFA, albeit in very different ways. Imagine mourning someone who has left such a big impact on your life, only to have someone who looks just like them show up one day. It'll be awkward and weird. To put it simply. Everyone is aware that this is not Rika, of course. It would be highly disrespectful to treat this newcomer like they are not a completely different person. I think everyone would be as respectful as can be. However, it would still be extremely uncomfortable for everyone involved.

The circumstances are what determine everything, though. If MC bonds with everyone the way you do in the game, I think all of the issues I'm about to mention would be lessened. That is, without interacting face to face. No one will care how you look, if they already know you as a person. But, if you're asking about their reactions to seeing someone who looks very similar to Rika, without having the opportunity to get to know them first, here's my interpretation.

I don't think Yoosung is going to be able to actually meet MC face to face for quite some time. Both for his own mental health, and because he knows he'll probably make them feel very uncomfortable. And he doesn't want that. But you can't really blame him for seeing his lost cousin every time he looks at them. It's an agonizing experience. He'll need to overcome his grief before actually starting to form a genuine connection with the MC. Out of everyone, he'll definitely have the hardest time of all. But, he'll do his best to be respectful and kind to MC nonetheless. He'll probably experience a lot of guilt over his inability to connect with them properly. But, with time and health communication, I believe he'll definitely pull through it and open himself up to this new relationship.

Zen would be more relaxed since Rika wasn't as essential to him as to some other members. Even so, for quite a long while, she remained a woman he deeply admired and trusted. It's a weird uncomfortable feeling to be met with the stark image of her. Still, he will be mostly respectful and welcoming. I think he's the most comfortable person to get along with out of everyone in this situation. I believe it will take him the least time to fully embrace MC as a new member. He'll probably be their rock of support in this very strange predicament. He understands what it's like to feel a certain way because of your looks. And he doesn't want their new member to feel that way. It’s actually rather sweet to think about him getting all protective and caring over MC in this situation!

Jaehee is... Well, she arguably grieved Rika the least out of the RFA, but that doesn't mean she'll feel any less weird about the whole ordeal. In my opinion, she will be mostly professional and polite in her demeanor. She won't make MC feel uncomfortable, but there is an obvious feeling of distance between them, and that's intentional on Jaehee's part. She might mellow out with time, though. But, for the time being, she'd prefer to keep the relationship strictly professional.

Jumin is pretty similar to Jaehee in terms of his overall attitude, but his situation is far more complicated. Rika was his closest friend after V. Although he doesn't show it in the same open manner as Yoosung does, his grief for her is deep and strong. He'll definitely feel very uncomfortable on the inside the first time he sees this MC. He'll dislike that feeling even more because he understands that this is not Rika, and he shouldn't compare the two. While Yoosung is struggling with the constant reminders of Rika whenever he looks at MC, Jumin will face more frustrations with himself and his own inner feelings. He doesn't like acting illogical. And realizing that he's losing the grip on his emotions is... hard for him. Mostly because it feels like he's not in control of himself. And that's something he can't have, for more than just one reason. I believe that, much like Jaehee, he will keep the relationship mostly professional. He will be polite and respectful towards MC, and he will do everything in his power to make sure that the party is successful and that their new member feels comfortable. But on the inside, he will definitely be having a very difficult time.

For Saeyoung it's... complicated, to say the least. Although he was much closer to V than Rika, their relationship was still very important. Ultimately, she was the one he first met back in the cathedral. As a scared, hungry boy, with no one to turn to. She's the one who cared for his brother, and she's the one he feels forever indebted to. That being said, I do not think it will be as difficult for him as it is for Yoosung and Jumin. But it will still be very uncomfortable. He'll find himself being less playful and more serious around MC, something he has done with Rika whenever she was in the chatroom. He'll probably berate himself for that, distracting himself with his job. In my opinion, he will warm up overtime. After getting to know MC as an individual person.

And for Saeran, well... It really depends on a lot of factors. But if we're talking about him just meeting MC who looks like Rika, it won't be pretty, and he will need to excuse himself to breathe for sure. It's fair to say that Rika is the source of the most trauma for him. It is nothing against MC, but you can't really do anything about your body and mind acting on their own accord to protect you. It really depends on which Saeran we're talking about, as well. SE Saeran will have the strongest reaction of all, while GE Saeran will most likely settle down with some time and space for him to sort through his emotions. With Saeran, it's a very similar situation to Yoosung, only in very different circumstances. Both will have the hardest time of all to avoid the visual similarities. But, while Yoosung it's the feelings of grief, for Saeran, it's the feelings of discomfort and fear. It is very much possible to work through those emotions with lots of time and patience, though.

That's the sentiment for all of them, really. It might be difficult at first, but, none of them would want to make MC uncomfortable. And all of them would come to appreciate and love them regardless.

[chrinopiqua]

You park on a driveway and drive on a parkway.

Each perspective reflects how different experiences, backgrounds, and ways of thinking influence the interpretation of the same odd phrase. You’ve got the pragmatic, the humorous, the philosophical, and the confused all rolled into one.

Retired Schoolteacher (Age 65, Rural Town) Answer:

One of those funny quirks of English that doesn't make much sense, but acknowledges that words change over time.

Silicon Valley Tech CEO (Age 40, Urban) Answer:

It's like an example of how language doesn't always scale logically. It's kind of like a user interface that doesn't align with the function behind it.

Stand-Up Comedian (Age 35, New York) Answer:

Man, it's like the universe decided to troll us. We park where we drive, and drive where we park! It's like calling a sandwich a hot dog.

Zen Buddhist Monk (Age 50, Japan) Answer:

The words are not the thing. To park or to drive is of little consequence. It is the space in which you exist at that moment that matters.

Truck Driver (Age 45, Midwest USA) Answer:

Hah, yeah, it don't make no sense. But neither does why I gotta pay $100 just to park my rig overnight sometimes.

Philosophy Professor (Age 55, London) Answer:

It's a linguistic paradox, reflecting the often arbitrary relationship between signifiers and the signified.

Teenager (Age 16, High School Student, Los Angeles) Answer:

Lol, I dunno. It's just like… whatever? I guess it's just old people naming stuff weird.

French Tourist (Age 30, Visiting the US for the first time) Answer:

This, how you say… is very strange! In France, we have things that are also named funny, but here it is like opposites.

Construction Worker (Age 38, Texas) Answer:

I never really thought about it. Sounds dumb, but hey, I've worked on worse designs. Maybe they should let the guys who build things name them.

AI Researcher (Age 32, Germany) Answer:

It's an interesting example of semantic drift in natural language. The terms likely originally made sense based on older meanings.

Retired librarian (Age 72, Suburban Area) Answer:

It's a clever play on words that highlights the quirks of the English language. It reminds me of all the linguistic oddities I've encountered in books over the years.

Teenage professional gamer (Age 16, Urban Center) Answer:

LOL, that's like when game developers troll players with illogical level designs. It's a total glitch in the English language matrix!

Michelin-starred chef (Age 45, Cosmopolitan City) Answer:

Ah, it's like a deconstructed phrase - taking familiar elements and presenting them in an unexpected way. Very avant-garde!

Deep-sea welder (Age 38, Coastal Town) Answer:

Sounds like someone mixed up the blueprints! In my line of work, that kind of confusion could be dangerous.

Quantum physicist (Age 52, University Town) Answer:

It's a linguistic superposition of contradictory states, much like Schrödinger's cat. The words simultaneously make sense and don't make sense until observed.

Homeless street artist (Age 29, Big City) Answer:

It's a perfect example of how society often doesn't make sense. The system's all backwards, man.

Corporate lawyer (Age 41, Financial District) Answer:

This phrase clearly demonstrates the importance of precise language. In a contract, such ambiguity could lead to significant disputes.

Organic farmer (Age 60, Rural Countryside) Answer:

Nature doesn't confuse things like that. It's another example of how humans complicate simple concepts.

Kindergarten teacher (Age 33, Suburban School) Answer:

Oh, that's a fun one! I'd use it to teach the kids about homophones and how silly our language can be sometimes.

Professional bodybuilder (Age 27, Fitness-Centric City) Answer:

It's like when people assume I only lift weights. There's more to words - and people - than meets the eye. It's about challenging expectations.

Urban Planner (Age 43, Tokyo) Answer:

It's an amusing linguistic quirk. In urban planning, we often see such contradictions. Here, 'driveway' implies a space for driving into, but it's where you stop.

Rural Farmer (Age 58, Iowa) Answer:

Well, that's city folk for ya. Out here, we just call it like it is. You got your road, your yard, and where you put your truck is just common sense.

Philosophy Professor (Age 62, Oxford) Answer:

This phrase highlights the arbitrary nature of language. It's a playful reminder that our terms for things are often based on historical or cultural accidents.

Teenage Skateboarder (Age 15, Los Angeles) Answer:

Dude, it's just weird how language works. Like, why do we call this 'sick' when it's awesome? Language is just random, man.

Retired Astronaut (Age 70, Florida) Answer:

Reminds me of space jargon. We have 'launch pads' where we lift off, not park. It's all about perspective and function over form.

Fashion Designer (Age 36, Milan) Answer:

It's like fashion. Terms can be misleading. You might wear something called 'daytime casual', but end up wearing it to a chic evening event.

Elementary School Teacher (Age 39, New Delhi) Answer:

I use this to teach kids about idioms and how words can have meanings that aren't literal. It's fun to see them puzzle over it.

Software Engineer (Age 28, Silicon Valley startup) Answer:

It's like naming conventions in coding. Sometimes a function name doesn't directly reflect its use, leading to confusion or clever insights.

Opera Singer (Age 47, Vienna) Answer:

In opera, we often sing about things that aren't what they seem. This phrase could be a metaphor for life's ironies, beautifully encapsulated.

Environmental Activist (Age 31, Brazil) Answer:

It's a bit like how we label 'green' energy. You'd think it's all about forests, but it's about sustainability. Words can mislead or enlighten.

Linguist (Age 49, University Research Center) Answer:

This phrase is a play on words, highlighting the contrasting meanings of 'park' and 'drive' in different contexts. It emphasizes the incongruity between the two actions.

Young Child (Age 7, Elementary School) Answer:

You put your car in the driveway when you get home, and you drive your car on the parkway to go to the park.

Foreign Language Learner (Age 22, Exchange Student) Answer:

This phrase is confusing! I know 'park' means a place to leave your car, but I'm not sure what a 'parkway' is. Is it like a big park?

Traffic Engineer (Age 37, Department of Transportation) Answer:

This phrase highlights the difference between a driveway, which is a private access road, and a parkway, which is a public thoroughfare often designed for scenic driving.

Poet (Age 42, Coffee Shop Regular) Answer:

The phrase evokes imagery of stillness and motion, contrasting the tranquility of a driveway with the dynamic energy of a parkway.

Dog Walker (Age 29, City Park) Answer:

I park my car in the driveway to let my dog out, and then we drive on the parkway to go to the dog park.

Real Estate Agent (Age 45, Suburban Office) Answer:

A driveway is a valuable feature for a home, as it provides convenient access to the garage. A parkway can increase property values due to its scenic appeal.

History Buff (Age 55, Local Museum Volunteer) Answer:

The phrase reflects the evolution of urban planning, as driveways became common with the rise of automobiles, while parkways were often developed as scenic routes.

Game Designer (Age 33, Indie Studio) Answer:

This phrase could be a fun riddle or puzzle in a game, requiring players to understand the different meanings of the words and apply them correctly.

Child Psychologist (Age 51, Private Practice) Answer:

This phrase can be a useful tool for teaching children about language and logic. It helps them understand the concept of opposites and how words can have different meanings based on context.

Indigenous Rights Activist (Age 32, Urban City) Answer:

It's a reminder that language is complex and often contradictory, like the systems of power we navigate. We must question and challenge the status quo.

Professional Musician (Age 29, Touring Artist) Answer:

It's like a rhythm – sometimes you're in the groove, and sometimes you're not. You gotta feel the vibe of the road and adjust your pace.

Small Business Owner (Age 50, Suburban Town) Answer:

It's all about adapting to your surroundings. In business, you gotta be flexible and adjust to the market. Same with driving – know when to park and when to drive.

Theoretical Physicist (Age 38, Research University) Answer:

Fascinating! This phrase highlights the arbitrary nature of human constructs. In physics, we seek universal truths, but language is a human invention, full of quirks.

Traditional Healer (Age 60, Indigenous Community) Answer:

It's like the balance of nature – sometimes we move, sometimes we rest. We must respect the harmony of the world and our place in it.

Software Developer (Age 25, Tech Startup) Answer:

It's a classic example of a misnomer. Like how we use outdated terms in coding, this phrase is a relic of the past. But we still make it work.

Traveling Journalist (Age 40, International Correspondent) Answer:

I've seen many strange things on the road, but this phrase takes the cake. It's a reminder that even in familiar places, there's always something new to discover.

Disability Advocate (Age 35, Non-Profit Organization) Answer:

It's a metaphor for accessibility – sometimes we need to adapt our path to reach our destination. We must create inclusive spaces for all.

Meditation Instructor (Age 44, Wellness Center) Answer:

This phrase invites us to pause and reflect on the nature of language and perception. It's a koan of sorts, challenging our habitual thinking.

Vintage Car Collector (Age 68, Suburban Garage) Answer:

Back when these terms were coined, they made more sense. A driveway was for driving up to your house, and a parkway was a scenic route through park-like areas. Language just hasn't caught up with how we use them now.

[rollerbladeseven]

Rollerblading Through the Apocalypse: A Look at Scott Shaw's The Roller Blade Seven

The Roller Blade Seven, directed by Donald G. Jackson and produced by Scott Shaw, stands as a monument to cinematic absurdity. Released in 1991, it defies categorization, straddling the line between action, science fiction, martial arts, and sheer lunacy. Yet, despite its flaws and nonsensical plot, the film has amassed a dedicated cult following, captivated by its unintentional humor, commitment to the bizarre, and undeniable entertainment value.

The narrative, if one can call it that, follows Hawk Goodman (Shaw), a rollerblading warrior tasked with rescuing his sister from the clutches of the evil Pharaoh (William Smith) in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Joined by a motley crew of fellow rollerbladers (the titular seven). Hawk battles cyborg ninjas, mutants, and the Pharaoh's forces in a series of nonsensical and often repetitive sequences.

But The Roller Blade Seven transcends its plot, reveling in its own weirdness. The film employs dreamlike imagery, surreal visuals, and nonsensical dialogue. Scenes repeat, sometimes with subtle variations, further blurring the lines between reality and absurdity. The editing is frenetic, the acting melodramatic, and the action sequences defy logic and physics.

This deliberate embrace of the nonsensical might alienate some viewers. Yet, within the film's absurdity lies its charm. The sheer commitment to its outlandish vision is admirable, creating a unique cinematic experience unlike any other. The repetitive scenes become hypnotic, the nonsensical dialogue unintentionally hilarious, and the action sequences, though illogical, undeniably kinetic.

The Roller Blade Seven is a celebration of the ridiculous, a testament to the power of embracing the absurd. It invites viewers to abandon expectations and simply enjoy the ride, however bumpy and nonsensical it may be. However, beneath the surface of silliness lies a deeper commentary. The film satirizes societal collapse, environmental degradation, and the cult of personality. While these themes are not overtly explored, they simmer beneath the surface, adding a layer of complexity to the seemingly mindless mayhem.

Ultimately, The Roller Blade Seven is a cinematic oddity, a love-it-or-hate-it experience. It is a testament to the creative freedom of low-budget filmmaking and the power of embracing the nonsensical. While it may not be for everyone, for those willing to surrender to its absurdity, it offers a unique and unforgettable cinematic experience.

Further Points to Consider: • The film's cult status and its connection to B-movie culture. • The influence of Zen filmmaking philosophy on the film's creation. • The role of improvisation and chance encounters in the filmmaking process. • The potential socio-political commentary hidden within the absurd narrative.

[godhi]

Embers of Empire... part four

"STOP!" the Reapers chorused. As the alien killing machines immediately reconfigured to attack mode, one of them stated: "Human detected. Arming weapon systems! Initiating termination sequence!"

Sun Min dropped her bamboo staff to the ground and bowed before the Reapers. "Kill me if you wish. I bear no weapons... no technology. I surrender to the superior foe."

The Reapers paused in uncertainty. "Voice stress analysis detects no duplicity from this human," one of them said.

"Statement accurate within nine decimal places," another added. "Fascinating."

One of the Reapers turned to Helen Dahl. "Why did you bring a human to this place? Humans are violent. Illogical. Irrational."

"Humans are not like machines," another one said. "Humans are flawed. Imperfect. Incapable of logical behavior."

"Yes, we have our flaws," Min replied sadly. "But we learn from our mistakes. We try to improve ourselves. And not all humans are violent and irrational. I am a Zen Buddhist. I have sworn to fight only in self-defense, and to bring peace, justice, and order to the universe."

"Interesting philosophy, human. We have downloaded files on Earth religions, but none of them make any sense to us. But how does fighting only in self-defense allow one to win the game?"

[anangelofheaven]

Sermon 18

Usually, I'd refer to a specific Bible quote to kick things off. And today was a pretty good one, Romans 8:15, which reads "The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption." 

The message there should be clear. In case it isn't, it's that God's laws empower you, not render you powerless. I've touched on this subject many a time. 

Yet life provided too superb a situation for me to pass up opining about, just yesterday in the Serpent's Tavern. So, rather than explore a subject in abstract by drawing on random scripture, I thought I'd touch on those recent events.

A group of mortals in the Serpent's Tavern were talking about forming up and targeting angels and demons. They were discussing who they'd go after, how they'd amass power, and how it was going to be their time to rule down here.

The notion was laughable. As the saying goes, in fact, "man plans and God laughs." And we angels laugh with Him.

Mortals will never have power down here. For one, they've been sent to Pandemonium for torment. For another, any power they wield comes from us. And lastly, as mortals, they're fundamentally flawed.

This isn't to say the angels have power either. We may be perfect instruments of God's will and aware of that fact, but we're fallible when He needs us to be. We can be slain, have children that turn into evil giants, even cry and get things wrong. Besides, we're down here in Pandemonium. This isn't our turf.

It's the demon's territory. But do they have power? No. They have the least power of all. Sure, they make the mortal souls down here their playthings. And yes, they've got supernatural abilities. But the entire reason demons fell is because they were jealous of mortals. And there are few clearer symptoms of weakness than jealousy.

No, there's only one power in Pandemonium, and it isn't the Lord of Lust, Asmodeus. It's plain, old 'deus'. It's God. He's the only power in Hell. He's the only power in heaven. He's omnipresent and omnipotent. He's all things that were, are, and will be. And only He has any true power. The rest of us, we're just kids at His table, able to feel nourished only when we follow His example.

The mortals' discussion of how they'd rule hell literally made me LOL. And it reminded me of one of my favorite philosophical and theological conundrums, posed by Saint Augustine. Augustine, who is one of my favorites for many reasons, particularly his youthful attitudes toward sex, asked, "if God is all places at all times, but is also all powerful, does He have the power to create a box big enough to contain Himself?"

Augustine couldn't really come to a conclusive answer. That is because, with an infinite system, all things are possible. That fundamental definition is referenced by the practice of Zen Koans, the little puzzles put forth by Zen sages to evoke both a logical notion and an illogical notion simultaneously, giving forth an experience of the paradoxical and the divine.

For the answer to whether God can create something bigger than infinity is "yes." Much like, within infinity, all answers are, ultimately, "yes." Limitless possibility multiplied by limitless time and space equals all things being true. That's God.

Yet things are as they are, aren't they? You're reading the writings of an angelic tavern dancer, sitting in your bathrobe with spots of Ben & Jerry's on it, listening to Halsey waft in from your neighbor's apartment. They are exactly as they are to you in that moment, and will never be different. And that moment, now that you've experienced it, is gone, never to come back, just like this moment is gone, and the next, and the next. That's mortality.

Follow God's example. Be the sound of one hand clapping, the diamond on the muddy road, the one hand clapping. Be as infinite as you can be, and enjoy it while you can. Soon, just like this moment, you'll be gone too.

[elaina-mayfield]

In logic there is a trace of effort and pain; logic is self-conscious. So is ethics, which is the application of logic to the facts of life. An ethical man performs acts of service which are praiseworthy, but he is all the time conscious of them, and, moreover he may often be thinking of some future reward. Hence we should say that his mind is tainted and not at all pure, however objectively or socially good his deeds are. Zen abhors this. Life is an art, and like perfect art it should be self-forgetting; there  ought not to be any trace of effort or painful feeling. Life, according to Zen, ought to be lived as a bird flies through the air or as a fish swims in the water. As soon as there are signs of elaboration, a man is doomed, he is no more a free being. You are not living as you ought to live, you are suffering under the tyranny of circumstances; you are feeling a constraint of some sort, and you lose your independence. Zen aims at preserving your vitality, your native freedom, and above all the complete-ness of your being. In other words, Zen wants to live from within. Not to be bound by rules, but to be creating one's own rules -- this is the kind of life which Zen is trying to have us live. Hence its illogical, or rather superlogical, statements.

D.T. Suzuki (”Illogical Zen”, An Introduction to Zen Buddhism)

[simping-overload]

ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴀᴛɪʙᴜʟᴇ

景元 — 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗌 𝖾𝗉𝗁𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗅 𝖺𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝗐 𝗈𝗇 𝖺 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝖿, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖿𝗎𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗅𝖽𝗅𝗒 𝗌𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖿𝖾.

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[gureishi]

can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland

Chapter 2 is here! The tension is building~ This chapter is SFW. Again, a reminder: this is a Choi sandwich fic, so please be cautious/skip this one if this pairing isn’t your cup of tea <3 <3

Pairing: Saeran X Reader X Saeyoung

Rating: E; Chapter rating: T

chapter two

A few days passed before you were alone with Saeyoung again.

It wasn’t that you’d been avoiding him, necessarily, but rather than there had been a lot of activity in the bunker over the last couple of days. The RFA had been coming and going—seeing for themselves that the twins were alive, of course, as well as bringing gifts both strange and lovely. Yoosung had brought a good deal of his home cooking and Jaehee had given you an assortment of coffees, while Zen had offered several DVDs of his own performances (which the three of you had already watched, of course—one of them multiple times).

Vanderwood had been around, too, perhaps more than they’d have liked—helping the brothers finish up the last of the clean-up work regarding the agency before leaving for their hometown.

By the time the chaos had died down at the end of each day, you’d fallen into bed with Saeran, exhausted and exhilarated and, most of all, relieved to be sleeping curled around his body once again.

Today, however, Jumin had stolen Saeran away for assistance with the development of his new iteration of the intelligence unit, and the rest of the RFA seemed to be easing back into their regular lives. This left you and Saeyoung, neither of whom had had regular lives to begin with.

As deeply and enthusiastically as you appreciated your friends’ presence, you were also relieved to have peace and quiet for once. The bunker felt bigger than usual after days of company; you noticed that your footsteps echoed in the halls as you walked past the numerous rooms Saeyoung had left empty—because, you thought with a twinge of sadness, he’d never expected to live long enough to fill them.

You made your way to the kitchen. In the two weeks you and Saeran had lived here alone together, you’d begun stocking Saeyoung’s gigantic, empty kitchen. You loved to cook, together and for each other, and doing so had helped you feel grounded recently. Today, there was no Saeran in his adorable apron hovering behind you and pressing surprise kisses to the skin behind your ear as you cooked. Still, you were happy to be doing it.

Today, you were roasting a chicken.

You washed your hands and pulled the six pound chicken you’d bought the day before out of the refrigerator. You put on a playlist of upbeat pop music and chopped up fresh spices, humming to yourself. Drizzling oil over the chicken, you wiggled your hips to the music. It was nice to feel like you had total agency over the simple task before you, to be alone with your thoughts and your music and your chicken.

Except you weren’t alone.

You didn’t hear Saeyoung come up behind you, which shouldn’t have been a surprise—you never could hear either of the brothers moving about the house, which was another unpleasant reminder that they’d led lives that necessitated not being heard.

“Hiya,” he said, and—taken by surprise in spite of everything—you jumped. You spun around, alarmed, and saw him: leaning against the doorframe, a goofy grin on his face. “Did I scare you?”

“Yes!” You held up your oily, parsley-coated hands in defeat. “I’m going to have to put collars with little bells on them on the both of you, I swear.”

Saeyoung laughed, and you recognized the swooping feeling in the bit of your belly; you’d felt it the other day, too, in the car. His laugh was somewhat different than the one you’d come to know (and appreciate, and seek out) in the days you’d first known him, when you’d been at Mint Eye and he’d just been a voice in a phone. It was softer now, and you thought perhaps it was more genuine.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” he said quietly.

Not sure if you’d heard him right, you said nothing, turning back to the chicken. The room felt full of static all of a sudden—sharp and buzzy.

When it was the three of you all together, as it so often was, you didn’t feel this way: like the kitchen had been cast suddenly into a tropical climate, the air thick, hot and sticky. You understood that dynamic, somehow—you, your boyfriend, and his brother. Fine. Being alone with him, though, felt different, somehow—inexplicably dangerous.

Knowing the backs of your ears were red, you liberally slathered the chicken with the parsley, as well as thyme and rosemary and cayenne. You cut open a lemon, perhaps too forcefully, wincing as a little juice squirted onto your cheek.

“What are you doing?” Saeyoung asked, persistent as ever. He had moved closer—you could feel it.

“What does it look like?” you asked. You grabbed half of the lemon and smushed it inside the chicken, as far as it would go.

“I don’t know if you want me to answer that,” he said, chuckling. You saw him in your peripheral vision: he was hovering just behind you, his eyes on your arm which was elbow-deep in the chicken.

“Saeyoung!” you reproached, shaking your head (also with a bit too much force). A lock of hair slipped out of your ponytail and into your eyes. Well, shit.

You pulled your arm out of the chicken and squeezed the other half of the lemon over it. Your hands were covered in chicken juice and lemon and spices; in other words, disgusting. You twitched your head to the side, trying to get rid of the pesky lock of hair. Great. It ended up in your mouth.

“Got it.” Before you could react, Saeyoung had leaned over you, tucking your hair behind your ear with his deft fingers. Your cheek burned where he’d touched you and you caught a whiff of his sweet, spicy scent. Oh god.

“Oh, um. Th-thanks,” you muttered, avoiding his eyes. You were sure he could feel the heat radiating off your cheeks. It was burning you.

You expected him to tease you then, to make a joke about the situation and reaffirm all your notions that he saw you as a lovable but thoroughly non-sexual sister type. 

But he didn’t. Seeming to realize too late what he’d done, he noticeably flinched. He laughed a little awkwardly as he retreated to the opposite corner of the kitchen, as far away from you as he could be.

“Gotta take care of the chef, you know,” he muttered.

Well, that’s even worse. His reaction—the way his face flushed as he slunk away from you—confirmed a fear you didn’t even know you had. He was aware of it, too.

Aware of what, exactly?

You cut up the rest of the lemon with shaky hands and arranged the slices around the chicken in your largest roasting pan (you’d bought this recently, too—Saeyoung had really had nothing here. What did he eat for all those years? you wondered—not for the first time).

“Ahahaha, um. S-so. When is my brother getting home?” Saeyoung asked, acknowledging neither the moment that had just passed nor the abrupt change of subject. You knew for certain, in that moment, that his mind had spun off in the same—totally improbable and illogical—direction that yours had.

And there you both were. Alone together. In the kitchen. Your hands covered in chicken juices. His brother nowhere to be found.

His brother. The love of your life.

“I’m not sure!” you said, too brightly. “Um, you can check my phone, if you want. He’d text if he was on his way home.”

Conscious of the intimacy of this particular offer (and thus regretting it as soon as you’d said it), you turned away again, dusting the last of the herbs over the chicken. You didn’t see Saeyoung’s face as he reached for your phone; didn’t register the look of confusion and longing that passed briefly across his golden eyes, disappearing almost as quickly as it had emerged.

“Do you want me to pretend I don’t know your passcode?” he asked after a moment, his voice a little weak.

“Do you know my passcode?” You spun to face him, unable to help yourself. Hackers.

“J-just to be clear, I didn’t learn it on purpose!” he stammered, his face turning almost as red as his hair. You couldn’t help but find it endearing. Ugh. Why do I live with two hackers?

“Do I even want to know?” You sighed, but you were smiling—how could you not? He looked so hopelessly mortified. You told him the passcode—just in case it made him feel better.

“Y-yeah,” he said, looking down, typing it in. “The day you met Saeran. I know. I saw you put it in one time—by accident, by the way—and my brain just. Remembered it. Sorry.” His voice got quieter and quieter as he spoke. He practically whispered the apology into his chest.

“You saw me put it in?” You couldn’t help laughing, feeling relieved at the sensation. Laughing is good; laughing is normal. Laughing is something you are allowed to do with your boyfriend’s twin brother.

“Saw…in a sense.” He laughed too, finally meeting your eyes. His were brighter than usual, shining behind his glasses.

You shook your head and turned, trying to grab the pan with the chicken in it too fast; perhaps unsurprisingly, you stumbled, missing a step as you tried to keep the heavy pan aloft.

Once again moving faster than you could register, Saeyoung was there. He caught the pan easily with one hand, the other arm wrapping firmly around your shoulders. Your back hit his chest, broader than Saeran’s. For a moment, you stopped breathing.

“You’re gonna give me a heart attack!” he said, his voice surprisingly sharp. He took the weight of the pan from you and you stumbled again, finding yourself pressed harder into him. He felt huge to you in that moment, capable of enveloping you or sweeping you off your feet. His scent filled your nostrils and your head swam.

“S-sorry!” you gasped, wiggling out of his grasp. He pulled away from you quickly, taking the pan to the oven. He looked almost…angry.

You watched his back, your body still overwhelmed by the scent and feel of him. It was the closest you’d ever been. You took a shallow, shaky breath.

“Sorry,” you said again. You didn’t know what else to say.

In that moment, the security system chimed, and you heard the load clanking of the series of doors unlocking themselves. Saeran.

“Oh yeah,” Saeyoung muttered, his back still to you. “Saeran’s almost home.”

“Thanks,” you said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of your voice. “I noticed.”

You had no reason to be short with him, but you felt annoyed all of a sudden. You wished he’d—what, exactly? Not stopped you from falling and probably hurting yourself? You stalked to the sink, drowning the sound of your heartbeat in the hot water rushing over your hands.

You knew you wouldn’t hear Saeran coming into the kitchen, so you didn’t even try to listen for his footsteps. You stayed at the sink, hypnotized by the bubbles floating up from your sudsy hands, ignoring Saeyoung. Waiting.

You felt arms wrapping around your waist and tensed, even recognizing his soft, flowery scent, even knowing intimately the hands that skated across your stomach.

“I’m home, my love,” he murmured into your hair.

Immediately comforted by the sensation of being wrapped up in him, you turned the water off, holding your hands above your head as you rotated in his arms so you could see his face.

“I missed you!” you said, because it was true.

He kissed you softly—with no regard, you noticed, for his brother, whose presence you could still feel like warm rain on your back. His lips tasted of the lip balm you’d bought for him and his arms felt safe. You were comforted, too, by the butterflies in your stomach, by the heat behind your shoulder blades. I love him no less than I ever did.

So why…?

Saeran pulled back, and you saw him register the look in your eyes. You wondered how you must look: anxious? Guilty? He ran a soft finger over your cheek.

“How was your day, princess?”

“It was calm,” you said, only half-lying. It was calm up until the last half hour or so.

“You weren’t lonely?”

You giggled and felt a blush creeping over your cheeks. No.

“No!” said Saeyoung loudly from the corner where he’d been lingering. You snuck a peek at him, and his cheeks were red, too. How suspicious do we seem right now?

But, you reminded yourself firmly, there’s nothing to be suspicious of.

“I helped her made the chicken!” Saeyoung sang, for all the world oblivious to the thoughts swirling helplessly around in your mind.

Saeran raised his eyebrows at you. “Really?” “Of course not.”

Saeran laughed his sweet laugh, ignoring Saeyoung as he insisted that he really had been helpful, going to peer at the chicken in the oven. You took a breath, starting to feel a little calmer. This was normal.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

And it kept on being normal as you settled onto the couch with a book, feet kicked up in Saeran’s lap while you waited for the chicken to roast; he propped his laptop on your legs and typed, working on the program Jumin’s team would be using. The feeling of his fingers on the keys, the laptop against your legs, was natural and familiar and wonderful.

And it was normal, too, as you eventually pulled the chicken out of the oven—crisp and golden and smelling deliciously like thyme and lemon. The three of you ate together, as you nearly always did. And Saeran rested his hand on your knee under the table, and you felt warm and full and cozy as you listened to the brothers debate the pros and cons of a programming language you’d never even heard of before.

After dinner, the twins insisted on cleaning up (which generally involved a lot of Saeyoung whining and knocking things over and Saeran intervening and scolding him, taking over the tasks with remarkable patience). You retreated to the living room to flip through streaming channels on the gigantic TV. Saeran had seen essentially no TV or movies in his life and was enthralled by everything; Saeyoung had bizarre tastes and generally couldn’t be trusted— so you’d appointed yourself in charge of picking things to watch, and everyone seemed grateful for the arrangement.

Curling yourself into a more comfortable position, you found a movie that’d come out recently and looked just interesting enough to keep the twins engaged, but just benign enough that you could tune it out. You couldn’t quite put it into words, even to Saeran, but you felt like your head was spinning round and round. You hadn’t gotten to fully process everything that had happened over the past few weeks yet, and suddenly everyone around you was slipping back into normal life, while you felt like you still barely had a grasp on reality.

You heard alarmingly loud splashing from the kitchen and briefly considered intervening on Saeran’s behalf, but stopped yourself. Saeran had a greater capacity to deal with his brother than you gave him credit for—and the two of them were so rarely alone, usually buffered by your presence. It was good for them to have to handle each other one on one, every now and then. And you were so comfortable…

You pulled a blanket over your legs, heavy head dropping into the back of the squishy couch. You heard the boys’ voices as if through a tunnel; it was a comforting feeling, drifting off to the sounds of the playful bickering of people you loved.

People you loved…

Your head swam with images of the two of them, manifested by your tired, blurry mind. Long fingers, calloused from typing; sleepy eyes and messy hair and slightly too-big clothing. Red-headed Saeran and white-haired Saeyoung, but no…that wasn’t right…

“Are you sleeping, sweetheart?” You woke abruptly from your half-slumber to the feeling of Saeran’s lips pressing gently against the skin above your right eyebrow. You head felt fuzzy. What were you just thinking about?

“Are we gonna watch a movie, or…?” Saeyoung’s voice came from the doorway, trailing off as he came into the room; you opened one eye and saw him looking down at you, grinning. “Is the princess of the bunker too sleepy?”

“Don’t wanna be the princess of a bunker,” you mumbled, sitting up and tucking the blanket around your knees. “Get me a home that’s above ground and we can talk about who’s the princess.”

Saeyoung laughed, raucous and warm and familiar, and that too felt normal. Maybe, you thought, that moment today in the kitchen was a fluke, a bizarre heart-stuttering anomaly. Saeran slid onto the couch beside you, coiling up lithe body against yours—catlike, adorable. Immediately, you let your head fall onto his shoulder, and draped an arm over your lap.

“Whaaaat did you pick for us?” Saeyoung sang. He hesitated for a moment, as if trying to decide if there was room for him on Saeran’s other side. There obviously wasn’t; he draped himself over the other arm of the couch—technically next to you and yet as noticeably far away from your body as humanly possible. 

Fine, you thought, a little annoyed. Whatever you have to do.

You summarized the movie you’d picked for them and neither one of them protested—they never did. You often wondered whether you had really excellent taste in movies, or if the twins just liked going along with anything you suggested. You didn’t ask which one it was.

Saeyoung used his phone to dim the lights, and the pretty little LEDs came to life, glowing red and yellow in a string above the TV. For what it had lacked in food (and other basic necessities for being alive), the bunker—even when you’d first moved into it—did have excellent movie lighting.

But the dim lights and the movie’s soft soundtrack and the vague feeling of Saeran’s heartbeat just made everything feel hazy again, and you were finding it difficult to keep your eyes open. In your previous life—which felt like forever ago—you were at night owl; at Mint Eye, you’d slept at odd hours, always half-awake, anticipating one of Ray’s rare and delightful visits. He often came in the middle of the night, as if he had no sense of time—“Yes,” Saeran told you later, “You’re right. He didn’t.”

Now, you felt tired all the time. Though you’d emerged physically unharmed from the events of the previous week—though you were the only resident of the bunker, in fact, who had—your mind bore the scars of everything you’d experienced and witnessed recently. You felt it shutting down easily and often, as if begging you for time to heal.

Saeran’s hair tickled your cheek pleasantly and the lurid room blurred with the sounds of the movie into a miasma of comfortable deliciousness in your mind. Your surroundings were edging away, the soft couch disappearing from beneath you, the sounds and sensations melting into a dream…

Laying in a field, the grass caressing your face…

…someone licking icing off your bottom lip…

…the sweet, inexplicable smell of something baking in the distance…

…a soft hand on your thigh…

…and, suddenly, the jarring sensation of your body shifting as somebody got off the couch. You fell into wakefulness heavily.

“…fell asleep,” you murmured, nuzzling your head into Saeran’s shoulder. “Think I had a dream about you.”

The shoulder beneath your head shifted a little, and something felt different; it was more cushioned than you were used to, and maybe a little bit higher up. The angle of your head felt strange. And wasn’t Saeran on your left side…?

“Probably not about me,” said a voice that most certainly did not belong to your boyfriend. Your eyes flew open.

“Oh,” you said.

You were, irrefutably and inexplicably, curled up against Saeyoung.

“I, uhhh…didn’t mean to surprise you,” he muttered. You lifted your head, only making the situation worse—his face was so close to your own. “We didn’t want to wake you.”

His proximity paralyzed you. You’d certainly never been near him like this before—you could practically count every one of his eyelashes and feel the warm breath from his slightly parted lips as he stared down at you, eyes wide behind his glasses. There was such a strange look on his face, and you needed to move, dammit, but his scent intoxicated you and your muscles felt like jelly.

Up close like this, his face held such an innocence. You’d noticed it before, when he was asleep. Normally, his demeanor vacillated wildly between carefree and closed off—both protective mechanisms, ones you recognized easily. Behind all that, though, there was an almost childlike look to him—a wide-eyed longing, as though he was waiting, with a patience that could be borne only from deep neglect, for someone to offer him comfort.

And as you thought this, it was as if something broke inside you—a string, pulled taut, snapped, and you were overcome by the urge to close the tiny bit of distance between you, to press a searing kiss to the crease that had appeared on his forehead, just between his eyes.

Something must have changed in your expression, because he changed, too. The open and naïve yearning on his face was replaced, in one breathtaking instant, with something new: his eyes darkened, clouded over, as though he was at war with himself.

“Oh,” you said again.

And he flinched, as though that one syllable had dragged him back from the precipice of a cliff. There was a new look on his face now, and this one you recognized at once: it was fear.

He leapt to his feet and you instinctively shifted away from him, too; he stood still, silent, eyes cast downward. You didn’t know why, exactly, but you felt as if you’d done something very wrong.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” 

Saeran appeared from the kitchen, and Saeyoung leapt as if he was expecting an attack. You leaned back into the couch, feeling dizzy.

“You slept through most of the movie,” Saeran told you, making his way back to your side. His expression was soft; did he not feel the overwhelming tension in the room?

“Sorry,” you said, leaning into him, toying aimlessly with the edge of his sleeve. “Didn’t mean to.”

He laughed and ruffled your hair; the gesture felt like swallowing a warm drink.

“You don’t have to apologize for falling asleep,” he said.

“I—” said Saeyoung, and you both turned to him; if he hadn’t noticed his brother’s strange behavior before, Saeran certainly noticed it now. You felt him tense a little; Saeyoung stood as though he was in a war zone rather than his own living room. “I’m gonna go to bed,” he finished, a little stiffly. “It’s late.”

It wasn’t.

“Are you sure?” Saeran’s voice was hesitant; after all they’d been through, you thought, the brothers still had no idea how to comfort each other. And Saeran, of course, didn’t actually know what was wrong with Saeyoung. Technically, neither did you.

Except, said a little voice in the back of your head—a little voice that had been growing steadily louder, against your will, for several days. Except you do know, don’t you?

Saeyoung turned away, muscles taut as if he wished he were running. He muttered a goodnight over his shoulder and slunk into the shadows of the hallway. In an instant, he’d disappeared.

Saeran exhaled slowly. For a moment, neither of you spoke.

“Do you know what…?” he started, fingers drumming against your knee.

“Not really.” Neither true nor false.

“I still don’t…” Saeran’s fingers tapped your leg faster, faster. You stilled them with gentle fingers and he looked up at your gratefully. “I still don’t know how to talk to him,” he admitted.

“You’ll learn,” you said.

He nodded slowly and intertwined his fingers with yours.

“I’ll try tomorrow,” he said thoughtfully. You nuzzled your face into his shoulder, hiding your expression.

Saeran buried his other hand in your hair, running his fingers over your scalp in the way he knew you loved. He brushed through the strands, untangling, smoothing. This was one of the first gestures of intimacy he’d felt comfortable with—brushing your hair and, eventually, playing with it with just his fingers. Usually, this pacified you. But tonight, your thoughts were racing, and though you closed your eyes, you couldn’t slow your heart, hammering violently against your ribs.

You, not Saeran, were the one who needed to try to talk to Saeyoung.

But, muttered that frustratingly insistent voice, which was growing louder by the minute, what on earth will you say?

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

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[natasha-in-space]

What are your headcanons of Hyun and Jaehee’s oldest daughter being an workaholic ?

Zen

Zen is definitely no stranger to hard work, that's for sure. He had to fight tooth and nail in order to get to where he is now. It wasn't odd for his friends and acquaintances to call him a workaholic, to which he merely laughed it off, playing it as simply a lighthearted joke. After all, Zen loves his job and it's natural that he'd want to be better himself at it. Still, there's more to life than just work. And while he did find himself struggling to maintain this fragile balance at certain times of his life, he always had his other hobbies and friends to distract him whenever it was needed. Going out to a lively bar to let loose and forget all about your responsibilities is something he definitely wouldn't miss out on.

So, if he sees that his kid is doing their best to reach their goal?

He would support them unconditionally. But if he takes notice that it is now getting to the point where they can't think of anything else and are starting to neglect their basic needs? That's when he knows that he has to step in before something bad happens.

Simply telling them to spend less time on work wouldn't work and it wouldn't help. It's a much more complex issue, and while Zen may struggle at first, he knows that his child needs his support and love now more than ever.

He'll gently coax them to take a minute away from their assignment, sitting them down on the couch and holding onto their hands with his own. It's obvious that they're stressed and anxious, and the sight of these fears clouding his precious child's formerly bright gaze breaks his heart into a million pieces.

He knows that look all to well, and that's exactly why it hurts so much. It's like he's looking at his younger self, so lost and scared, without anyone to turn to. But, his kid will never have to fight through life all on their own. So, he'll talk to them. Zen is going to be patient and understanding, regardless of how seemingly ridiculous or illogical their thoughts are.

It can feel absolutely terrifying to be in a position where you are uncertain about your future, particularly at a young age. It's understandable to want to achieve stability in your life... But there's more to life than just that. He'll make sure to remind them of people who love them every single day if that's what it takes.

Unlearning unhealthy habits is a long and sometimes even painfully process, but it becomes way easier to get through with a healthy support system right by your side.

Jaehee

She'll notice the alarming signs almost right away. After all, she had years of similar experience, as she would say. She knows how this weight of unbearable pressure you put on yourself feels as you work and work and work, until you simply can't anymore. She knows that feeling like the back of her hand, and it stings.

You can't protect your child from every single bad thing in this huge world... A flower can only truly flourish under the open sky that can bring with it both storms and cold. Putting them in a glass house wouldn't be the right way to nourish your own family. They need to learn to stand on their own against the hurdles of life, but... as a parent, it still hurts to see your precious child hurting this much.

So, one day, she will bring them a freshly baked snack, along with a hot cup of tea, offering them to take a small break and spend some time together. And once she's sure that they've relaxed, she will start this difficult, but very needed conversation. She knows from experience that it's hard to admit that you might have been pushing yourself a little too far. It's as if you're admitting your failure outloud, which will only make you feel worse about yourself.

She's been there.

Jaehee will gently enquire them about their future goals, patiently hearing them out and expressing her genuine support, making sure to let them know just how proud she is of them. But, carefully, she'll try to question whether or not what they're doing right now is even truly necessary to achieve this goal. She knows that it's hard to simply stop overworking yourself if that's all you really know, which is why she'll offer her help with healthy planning, as well as suggesting them to talk to a professional about their issues.

A healthy body and mind lead to wonderful results, that's what she wants her child to know, first and foremost. There's nothing more precious in this world than your own health and well-being. She wants to make sure that her child wouldn't repeat her own mistakes like that.

[secret-engima]

Listen Luna as Weiss in your Noctscar verse is something I never thought I want to see. It also make the whole team RWBY dynamic a whole lot difference since Ruby doesn't have to prove her worth as a leader to Weiss like in canon (or did you make the team leader change?) Blake probably didn't know what to do with Weiss image different than she thought and Yang? Something told me Yang big sister instinct just told her this is someone she need to dote and care about and - (1/2)

Anonymous said:

- do it anyway despite being the same age. What did Luna feel becoming a team with the rest of RBY? Did having a friend of her own age help Luna? I always feel that both Luna and Weiss in each canon is someone who not familiar with casual touch of affection (that something Yang and Ruby probably pick up and keep doing it) and the sense of closeness without any expectation (of being the Oracle, the Schnee Heir). Sorry if the ask seem incoherent since well, *wave around* Luna as Weiss.

Me: >:3c LUNA AS WEISS YES. And I never knew I needed it either but here I am and I’m taking you all down with me.

Yes, the dynamic is different here, because Ruby is still the leader, but Weiss has no interest in challenging for the position. Ruby does still feel like she has to prove herself a bit, because her partner is so calm and mature and “cool”. WeissLuna just wants Ruby to calm down and take this seriously, but not run herself in circles over it.

Blake has no idea what to do with Weiss no. At first she thought Weiss was snobby and aloof, because Luna is quiet and reserved and Blake came in with negative biases and expectations. But as they start training together Weiss is just- so sweet? So quiet and calm and *gentle* and it confuses Blake a lot. And then the White Fang thing comes up and Weiss seemingly plays into expectations for the first time by being openly disdainful of them.

But the thing is- it’s not because Luna hates Faunus or thinks that nothing is wrong. She knows exactly what her father has done to the workers of the company, she knows all about the Faunus Issues plaguing Altas and other countries. And she knows that the current White Fang, the violent White Fang are not helping. All they do is give Jaques all the ammo he needs to convince the Stockholders to let him treat the workers even WORSE. All they do is make the little people too scared to speak against Faunus, true, but also very dead set against HELPING them. Because why help someone who you believe already hates you and wants you dead and will likely KILL YOU as soon as your back is turned?

The current White Fang have done more to destroy the good relations between the average Faunus and their neighbor than Jaques Schnee could ever dream of and Luna despises them for it. But Blake doesn’t stick around to hear that part, she and Luna get into a fight about White Fang and before Luna can explain herself Blake blurts out the Faunus Thing and then runs off. They do talk about it later tho. Once they’ve tracked her down and Luna has firmly stated that Blake didn’t have to run off again good grief she’s not going to treat her teammate any differently just because she finally stopped wearing a stupid bow over her ears.

Blake: Wait ... you knew?

Luna, dryly: Blake, your bow *moves* and you wear it even when you sleep. I’m a Schnee. Not blind.

Yang absolutely latches onto Weiss as a new baby sibling. It’s just INSTINCT. It takes Yang longer to realize why it’s instinct, and to conclude that Weiss is ... depressed. Possibly dangerously so. Yang is actually incorrect but it’s not an illogical assumption when one takes into account her quiet, too-mature nature, her touch starvation, and her eerie and total acceptance of the possibility of her own death, to the point of putting herself in harm’s way to keep the others safe.

Because Luna spent a lifetime knowing that she was going to die for her duty, then DID die for her duty, and that acceptance has followed her over into being a Huntress and when people realize she has it they get Very Concerned. Because she’s seventeen, she shouldn’t be this peaceful over the concept of dying.

So Yang absolutely Big Sister adopts her. Luna is so confused. Because both her big siblings (Ravus and then Winter) are ... Not Like Yang at all. But as time goes on she comes to really appreciate it.

Hmmmm Luna is fairly calm about her team? She’s pleased it’s an all girl team, and Ruby and Yang seem nice, and she’s fairly sure Blake will be a good teammate as well even if she’s hiding her Faunus trait under a bow for some reason. She isn’t entirely sure what Ozpin was thinking, choosing Ruby as the leader, but Luna is glad he didn’t pick her so she’s not going to complain.

She is going to ensure these children don’t get themselves killed though.

Basically, Luna is the team Braincell even if she’s not team leader, she and Blake work out their issues, and her team become steadily more and more protective of Weiss as they realize she is mentally not the healthiest. They don’t have the words for it really, because they’re only teenagers but just- they know that Weiss is not normal. That she’s too quiet and too mature and sometimes she looks at the world with this vague expression that makes it seem like she doesn’t think she has a place in it. And she’s always caring for them, but not so much herself. She has nightmares that leave her gasping, but when asked she tries to brush them off. She is devastatingly good with her rapier, but eventually they learn that what she really wanted was a trident, but her father deemed it “unbecoming” and wouldn’t hear of it. That she has a sister she does not trust and a little brother she feels the need to care for, yet somehow in any plans or opinions she airs, she never factors *herself* into them beyond what she can do for others.

“It’s like she doesn’t even realize she needs to be happy too,” Blake mutters one day and then the trio stare at each other like it’s a holy revelation.

Luna isn’t sure why Ruby spends the next two days hugging her whenever possible and asking for her opinion on *everything*. Or why Yang keeps draping an arm on her shoulder, or why Blake even offered to share her *books*. Is everything alright you three? Do you need something?

Team RBY: Oh my word just *let us love you, you utter disaster sibling*.

Also as a side note, Luna and Ren get along like a zen garden.

[kingsloth9999]

#highly #illogical #thursday #zen (at Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B05zqiTgtaH/?igshid=1rg72u7c75i4b

[zukoshotleafjuice]

Apologies if you've been asked this before or don't want to answer it, but what do you think about Iroh's being written as a war criminal colonial who isn't fully held accountable for his actions in the series? Do you think his working to set his country on the right path and ensure Zuko would be a good leader who could redeem his nation and help the Avatar is suitable atonation(ignoring how Hama/Jet are treated in comparison, acting as if they were written well instead)?

Hi! This ask is from ages ago and I’ve taken a while to answer it because a) colonialism is a topic I take pretty personally and I didn’t really have the energy to answer it. This isn’t as detailed as it could be, but here’s a brief outline of my thoughts on Iroh:

1) Iroh was colonial but not a war criminal. Were his actions ethical? No, but let’s not dilute war crimes by calling everything we disagree with a war crime. He was a warrior who undoubtedly fought for the wrong side, but killing enemy soldiers is not, in fact, a war crime. Is it technically possible that Iroh committed war crimes? Sure, but there’s basically no evidence to back that up (if I’m wrong feel free to correct me). Don’t take this the wrong way - I absolutely do not condone Iroh’s actions, but idk - overexaggeration doesn’t help anyone. 

2) From a narrative viewpoint, Iroh’s arc was intended to mirror Zuko’s fairly precisely. We don’t actually get to see what happened to Iroh and much of his backstory is left deliberately obscure. The audience pieces it together from what we get. In terms of storytelling, this is done beautifully as we see Iroh develop from a caricature-like Zen figure to someone complex with a backstory. 

You’re entirely right that Iroh isn’t held fully accountable for his actions. But that’s also because we don’t actually have a clue what his actions are. The only thing we know for certain is that he besieged Ba Sing Se. And actually, Iroh’s ‘redemption’ for that act doesn’t have anything to do with Zuko or the Avatar - it comes in the finale when he helps defeat the Fire Nation and liberates Ba Sing Se. 

Do I think Iroh’s arc was well-handled from a colonialism/accountability perspective? Not really. I think especially in the comics, it could have been addressed with greater depth and sensitivity, especially since characters like Hama and Jet were essentially villainized without much dimension. From a storytelling perspective in the show, however, I understand why they wrote it like they did. 

One last point. The fandom tends to boil Iroh down to one of two extremes. Either he’s perfect and can do no wrong OR he’s evil horrible war criminal. The whole point of Iroh - like most characters in Avatar - is that he’s both. He’s a sweet old man who enjoys tea and he’s also the ruthless general who besieged Ba Sing Se. Reducing the character to either one of those extremes is illogical. You don’t have to like Iroh or think his actions were redeemable - however, I’d urge people to actually think critically about his character without reducing him down to a simplified version of himself.