#ilu >w<< /div>
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saw this and cried
That one stanley parable quote did this guys
The one wthout text :
Theyre kinda silly idk
Edit from mori with sleep : uhm found an error there, just realised the text are not on the right order...... :( thats fine, same text same meaning
#i hate jt when ppl write simple emotional stuff on drawings it makes me cry /pos#ur ripping me apart here#tearjng me limb for limb and serving me up like ham on christmas#this is UNFAIR#srsly rhgouh this ATE#ATE#ate nine ten#literally#their expressuons are everything#the dance is everybtjng#this art js everything#the little CACTUSES???#I SEE THOSE#UR NOT SLICK 😡😡😡😡#happy Christmas!!!!!#ilu >w<
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🌼 boyfriend!jihoon x reader.
jihoon loves you and you love him. it sounds plain and simple, but the saying rings true: what is done with love is done well. ୨ৎ happy woozi day! ♡
↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺ lily of the valley by daniel. bad by wave to earth. for lovers who hesitate by jannabi. pretty boy by the neighbourhood. tell me, will we survive? by pryvt, hanuel, hnta. green by 12bh. l-o-v-e by rocco. when it snows by 1415. when you love someone by day6.
240526 #woozi 🌟 if i were to have a small greed, it’s that i will be able to see everyone for a long time. thank you for being with me. thank you for walking with us. you did well today.
#woozi x reader#jihoon x reader#woozi imagines#lee jihoon x reader#jihoon imagines#woozi smau#jihoon smau#woozi fluff#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt fluff#svt smau#seventeen fluff#seventeen smau#── ᵎᵎ ✦ mine#[ a bit conked out mentally so i can't do longer + hcs ]#[ so have a really really quick one because i will not woozi day pass w/o anything lol ]#[ <3 ilu lee “to love is to be known” jihoon ]
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trouble in threes
#my art#stephanie brown#tim drake#cass cain#dc comics#cassandra cain#there should be more comics w these 3... for me. ilu convergence batgirl#dc spoiler#dc batgirl#batgirl#dc robin
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one of my favorite things about mdzs is that for how heavily its plot involves politics of classism and misogyny... even the characters most directly impacted by it can't and don't free themselves from it. literally the closest exception is mianmian.
meng yao being the "son of a whore" wasn't some sort of commie awakening for him that led him to wanting everyone to be socially equal. he played the political game, climbed the ladders, sucked up to and backstabbed and murdered people, including other prostitutes who actually had nothing to do with how he and his mother were treated at the brothel he grew up in.
he put in so much extra excessive effort for even a fraction of the same respect that members of gentry cultivation clans got. and he did deserve to be treated more humanely! but he feeds into the exact same system that created him, leading to his own undoing.
his efforts were for a fragile upward mobility that was never going to hold up. he never surpassed his origins nor did he empower others in similar stations, because the society he lives in is not one that would accept that.
the second he got caught and all those crimes exposed, he was scapegoated to hell and back, replacing wei wuxian as society's terrible one-sidedly evil boogeyman overnight.
speaking of not-quite male gentry, i think it's interesting that wei wuxian explicitly doesn't try to climb the ladders in BOTH lives, knowing full well that anything he does will be punished just for the sheer fact that he is wei wuxian.
wei wuxian is scolded for giving intelligent and correct answers in school. lan wangji does the same and is praised.
wei wuxian occasionally lounges around with fellow disciples and is punished. jiang cheng does the same and mostly escapes.
wei wuxian refuses to carry his sword around in public (after losing his golden core, which nobody knows) and is scorned as an arrogant upstart. nie huaisang has been doing the EXACT SAME THING for YEARS and nobody bats an eye.
unlike jin guangyao, wei wuxian knew subconsciously from the start that his acceptance was superficial and that he could be cast out any time. when he was 10 and recently taken in by the jiangs, he canonically would not eat or use "too much" food and water because he thought they'd find him a nuisance for "wasting their things" and kick him back out.
now away from just the classism, yu ziyuan is a proud and strong noblewoman in a society that belittles and derides women for everything they do. her strong cultivation doesn't matter. she's victim to the vicious rumors of her husband loving another woman who is strong like her but apparently had a more likeable personality.
it doesn't matter even if jiang fengmian didn't cheat or that wei wuxian is wei changze's son with cangse sanren; yu ziyuan can't bear with the humiliation of herself (and by extension her children) not being "good enough". she's ridiculed for "failing" in that one duty as a wife, mother, and woman.
she lashes out and takes out that anger on everyone present for years, giving her children lasting trauma and also being a key element in how the jiang family and yunmeng jiang sect are effectively wiped out at the hands of the wen clan.
madam jin doesn't even have a name outside of the fact that she's married to jin guangshan. i don't even remember reading anything that indicates if she's a strong or weak cultivator, or what, which in itself proves that to most people, it doesn't matter. she's "just" a woman.
of course she's angry at her husband's affairs and all the bastard children they bring in. but she also can't do anything about them, so she lashes out at the few people she can: servants. non-cultivators, probably. those very same bastard children.
shoutout to meng yao getting shoved down a flight of stairs at age fourteen, because if madam jin tried that move against her husband instead, it would make her lose even more face, which as a noblewoman she'd never do.
and that's not getting into how jiang yanli is consistently sidelined for being physically weak.
that's not getting into how mianmian was actually a good cultivator, but was mocked by everyone around her for trying to stand up for wei wuxian when everyone was turning on him. how everyone scoffed at luo qingyang's words as "just some lovesick woman" who "obviously wants to marry or bed him since he saved her".
luo qingyang is the only one of these characters who HASN'T died. she didn't play society's games like jin guangyao. she didn't dig her heels in confidence of her own abilities like wei wuxian.
she didn't bitterly lash out like yu ziyuan and madam jin. she didn't gently accept it like jiang yanli.
she just LEFT.
she married an ordinary merchant and cultivates separately from mainstream cultivation society, and therein found her own peace and happiness.
mxtx doesn't bother with particularly class conscious or feminist vocabulary to hand-hold readers into understanding these disparities, but that choice highlights them & the deeply entrenched politics of their society even more. i really love it.
#keri chats#mo dao zu shi#long post#mdzs spoilers#im novel only but still tagging.#the untamed#cql#yeah yeah everyone's written meta addressing this aspect of the story BUT I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIMEEEEE#maybe i just don't get to read a ton of books often; esp not ones that mirror my own culture. but it's just so. soooooo. augh#the fact that the setting itself enables so much of the tragedy in mdzs... which is true of all tragedies but STILL...#this isn't even getting into qin su and the power imbalance w her and jgy post-reveal... man.#man. so much going on here. man#THIS POST IS MESSY AND BARELY EDITED BUT IF U READ IT. ILU#mdzs#danmei
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what a wonderful day to be a dyke ❤️🔥
#ok to rb#my shirt does say “DYKE” in those blocky zine font letters but i wanted to keep the jacket on cus i like it#i am never giving my wife these pants back either. mine now#anyway yeah - the second photo is actually very personality. anyone whos been otp or hung out in meatspace w me can attest to my yappy loud#playful behavior. i am known for having volume control issues. i am very BIG irl actually (not just size LMAO) but its not like. exactly how#ppl usually expect? (< so i have been told anyway) and so i get nervous sometimes ab Personality Like Pics cus like. i do play up the uwu#cuteness here (and even in my selfies usually like that first one. is v cute tho)#Oh i didnt realize i had got my work keys in this until writing these tags!!!! ahfkfkshskfks thats my work kitty c:#anywayyyyy thank u soph & hari for being so sweet and encouraging me to post theeeeese 🥺🥹💞 ilu#bun.life#femme4all#fat femme friday#(< again lol c: )
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RB if youd go buy groceries with prev
#its weird to start one of these chains#but grocery shopping w/ someone is so bonding#if u rb mine here ilu lets fill the cart together
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sorry shadow i cant really do essays but ill be damned if i dont know my way around a powerpoint
everyone go vote in @fernsnailz's poll rn
#shadow the hedgehog#teamdarkfest#sonic#just an fyi in case u choose to view this in presentation mode: there are 2 slides w surprise audio lmao#gl to all ilu!!
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TAMN Outline
Since we're so close to the end of TAMN, I just wanted to share what Lock and my outline looks like, especially because neither of us ever used outlines for writing fic before this LOL
The only reason we have one for TAMN is because we were determined to finish this thing within a year of starting it and really wanted to post a chapter a week. Realistically, between work and irl and different timezones, there was no WAY we'd be able to keep up with a weekly posting schedule OR our self-imposed deadline if we were writing on the fly, so an outline was a good way to keep us on track.
(Details under the cut 'cause this got long af lmao)
SO FIRST OF ALL. We have quick chapter markers to refer to just to keep track of where we're at. The obvious ones are as follows:
🐈 Scar POV Chapters 🦜 Grian POV Chapters 🧟♂️ Some sort of significant zombie encounter that chapter 💦 Smut
I took this screenshot a WHILE back so Chapter 12 was actually split into 2 chapters, as was Chapter 14. So while the two emojis in Chapter 14 were meant to signify both Scar and Grian's POVs in that chapter, we ultimately just split it into a separate Scar chapter and a separate Grian chapter.
As for the other markers, this is what they mean at a glance:
✔️ Chapter is written ✔️✔️ Chapter has been edited by one person ✅ Chapter edited by both of us; Ready to Post 💯 Chapter has been posted to AO3
The last one isn't in the screenshot above, but is another one we use. And, ofc, if it doesn't have any of those markers beside it, it means the chapter hasn't been written yet.
Other than that, every chapter heading has not only the chapter number, but a reminder of where Scarian are, the time of day that chapter starts at, and how long of a walk/drive to their next destination remains. Plus, the very first point is always the current date and the weather (in Celsius 🍁) for the day. It looks something like this:
For a short chapter like Ch. 6 where not too much happens, the outline is just a handful of points. Also, we put a strike through things we skipped as we wrote when we felt they no longer fit the mood we were going for. (Basically, the outline is here as a guide and we adjust as needed for full creative freedom.)
Now the LINKS at the bottom lead to ANOTHER document where Lock and I's original conversations are sorted, in case we need to reference back to something we don't remember. That looks like something like this:
So when you click the link, there's a pop up that will take you directly to the original conversation about it located in another doc.
Basically, Lock and I had talked about TAMN for months before every writing it, so when I suggested making an outline, Lock was like "yeah, we basically have a skeleton already with how much we've talked about it". So what we did was, I copy-pasted EVERY conversation we had about TAMN into a Google Doc, and then Lock went through and SUMMARISED EVERYTHING in each conversation into The Main Points. After that, I went and put them into chronological order in a new doc which then became the outline we use today! 💫
Thus, when you click on a link from the outline, you get taken to the conversation summary, and if you scroll down past the summary you get to the actual conversation itself, minus our usernames/formatting/timestamps to make it easier to read at a glance:
And then, ofc, the further along we got in the fic, the more complicated the plot and the chapters got. So instead of short and sweet outlines with a link or two to old conversations, we had to come up with a lot of in between events that still somehow added to the plot and moved the story along to the main points we wanted to hit.
This was actually what took me the longest during outlining, and poor Lock kept going "JUST LEAVE IT BLANK, WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT AS WE GO" but I really wanted to have SOMETHING down just to give us a springboard to launch off of, because we had no idea if we'd have time WHILE writing to come up with anything.
(This continues on for more pages since we combined two chapters into one here, but this is the gist of what the outlines turned into per chapter as we got later and later in the fic LOL)
Turned out to be the right call, because it's saved our asses more than once when on a time-crunch! That said, there were a couple chapters where we DID in fact go "idk about what's in the outline, what if we do this instead?" and then do that because it Felt Right. So again, the outline was super helpful but not a hard and fast rule. (Though Lock and I had our fair share of "WHY DIDN'T YOU WRITE WHAT WAS IN THE OUTLINE"/"I FORGOR" moments that have been fun every step of the way 😂)
AAAND, I THINK THAT'S IT! THAT'S OUR OUTLINE! 🎉
Just wanted to make a post for it to document because it was such a novel experience, hahaha! Like I said earlier, neither Lock nor I ever used outlines before, even when writing fics together for other fandoms :')
I've got two completed longfics under my belt from before TAMN in my last fandom and I wrote those completely on the fly as well. Worked out just fine, but like. It took me 2-4 YEARS to finish the fics, and they were both MUCH shorter than TAMN is. 😅 Nothing wrong with that obviously, but it was a lot of fun to try something new and it felt incredible to be able to have a new chapter ready to go each week! ;w; 💜
We're almost done writing the fic and honestly idk what we're gonna do with all this free time once we've wrapped it up... time to come up with a new longfic ig LMAO
IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, HOORAY! 🎊
Here's a little bonus for you--
From the time I went to a gun range and shot both a rifle (near the head) and a shotgun (the spray by the stomach) and took notes so that we could use it in our fic JHGFDSKJHDF THE CRAZY RESEARCH WE'VE BOTH DONE FOR TAMN I STG 😂😂😂😂😂
#TAMN#TAMN outline#🔑#I wore my HotGuy jacket to go shooting btw :J#well worth it#lock sneaking in to say: I love writing with Key so much omg :') bestie ilu#key: hehehe aww ilu2 bestieeeee ;w; 💜💜💜
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What do you think Jack would do when he somehow meets his child self from 1899?
if we’re talking 1914 jack? honestly, with how little he seems to remember of his childhood, i think he’d find it hard to believe that the four-year-old boy he was in 1899 is the same person that he is now. maybe they aren’t, in a way. jack has been through a lot of hell, to the point where even his sixteen-year-old self is hard to reconcile with the little boy from the prequel.
on one hand, there’s him: jack marston, orphan, outlaw. the man who buried his mother, then put the man who killed his father and uncle in the ground when she wouldn’t be around to see it. regardless of what way he lands on the honor scale, he’s lost every reason, every person he had left to live for.
on the other, still jack marston: four years old, surrounded by family that love him and would do anything to keep him safe and shield him from the worst of their crimes, even though jack himself is smart enough to draw his own conclusions. blissfully unaware of the fact that almost everyone he knows will be gone in just a handful of months.
he might feel jealous of that boy, to be able to live in that kind of innocent ignorance. or he could pity him. maybe he’s even angry at his younger self, for not spending more time healing his relationship with his pa before he lost him, even though he knows why he was reticent to do so. i think, regardless, he’d have a bit of a difficult time believing he used to be the kind of kid that made flower necklaces for his momma and play-fought with his pa like characters from his favorite books. the idea that he’s changed so much from who he was as a child that even jack himself can scarcely draw a connection between them is depressing, but not unlikely.
#anon ilu btw. these asks give me so much to think and yap about :3#slightly unrelated i love those time travel fix it fics w jack on ao3 so much. my poor boy#marstonsboy musings#marstonsboy asks#jack marston#john “jack” marston jr#adult jack marston#1914 jack marston#rdr jack#rdr1 jack#rdr2 jack#rdr#rdr1#rdr2#red dead redemption#rdr jack marston#red dead fandom#red dead redemption jack#red dead redemption community#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption two#red dead redemption headcanons#john marston#abigail marston#rdr john#rdr abigail
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the father, the son, the end of the world (x)
[ID: two digital drawings of three iterations of kiryu kazuma that are intertwined in a downwards sequence. the background is a night sky with two framing clouds, and city lights, moon backlightning the three figures. the colors are tinted blue, and the image is held in a frame that is transparent on the outer part.
on top, kiryu is shown in his yakuza 3 okinawa outfit, in the middle in his yakuza 0 pinstrip suit and at the bottom, in a black shirt as he appears in infinite wealth.
y3 kiryu curls his right arm around y0 kiryu's neck, hand in a fist, his right hand comfortably lying on top of lad8 kiryu's head. his expression is a deep frown, as he stares at the audience.
y0 kiryu is turned to the left side of the image, as if running away, his left arm resting over y3's left forearm, hand slightly curled into a fist. his right arm curls forward over lad8 kiryu's shoulder protectively, palm held upwards. he is frowning at something off-frame, mouth slightly open.
lad8 kiryu has his right hand in a fist over his stomach and the left one reaching up to hold y0's left forearm. his expression is blank, as he stares at nothing, mouth slightly agape.
The second image is the same, only slightly less dark for visibility. /End ID.]
(ref) (edited)
#桐生 一馬#kiryu kazuma#happy birthday king#yakuza#ryu ga gotoku#rgg#yakuza 0#yakuza 3#lad8#lad8 spoilers#i guess??#I DON'T KNOW. i'm currently playing gaiden so i would appreciate spoiler free tags :3#to all my k//h beloveds who will see this and know nothing mwah ilu this man makes me sad :)#also the song is there because i started looping it while i drew but it was already making me think of kiryu anyways#so#lies down o(<#i might've rushed this a little i had been so burned out asfhshfhd but that's okay. feeling better#oomf was like 'what did the middle one do😭' and that was so valid of them adfjsjdj#i love posting at mystifying hours (still character's birthday in japan)#my doods#described#also i dont think i had ever done an id like this. aaaaaaaaaaaaah#ty to tumblr user realyauza for letting me know it was too dark!!#i finished w/my phone's brightness relatively high and i didn't account for that
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he's got friends on the other side
#tf2#team fortress 2#blu#tf2 engineer#tf2 engie#robin if you see this ilu#quite literally dragged me out of my art block w this loadout#bluekiivi
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idk that polling your tumblr following will give you a reasonable answer about this doctor (we are on tumblr, cianna!!), but if you have any older (over 30) female friends, i would recommend chatting with them! more importantly, i say this as gently as possible, if you feel unsafe, you are an adult, and you are not trapped: remove yourself from the setting or discuss it with someone who can help you. it may not be desirable to remove yourself (for reasons of pay, convenience, etc etc - all completely, honestly valid reasons), and this is an opportunity for you to confront how you want to move in a world that is often bone-deep uncomfortable. it can also help to get a reasonable, older adult opinion to pull you out of a sense that everyone is objectifying you this week, and evaluate this one man's actions in isolation. be safe and take care of yourself.
This was so sweet and comforting……. in an alternate universe ur the big sister I never had
#I need more women in their 30s in my life so bad#Where do I find them#what do they like to do#what clubs do I join to make friends w women in their 30s#It’s been such a turbulent time this is making me tear up ilu whoever you are I’m being serious
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LIFE SIZED EEVEE HAS COME HOME!!!
This babys name is Lupin because I picked those Lupins on the way home getting him XD
I managed to get one both for myself and for my buddy before they sold out and I finally got him today!! The lengths I went to to get them were rough to say the least, weird fedex locations are the death of me. But he is home and safe thats all that matters! Straight from the pokemon center to here!
Liddol big mans ;w;
#Im legit surprised how fast they sold out after I got my order in the DAY the pokemon center released them for Canada XD#lucky am I hes super cute and snuggly feeling ilu Lupin#he is as big as my cat so hes not small but hes not big#well hes not as big as my biggest pokemon plushie. thats going to my comfy friends Hisuian Zorua! hes chonky!!#now to go warm up and crash for fhe evening it was rainy and my shoes are soaked ;w;#pokemon#pokemon plush#eevee#pokemon eevee#life sized eevee#eevee plush#lupine#blue bonnets#lupin#smashwolfen#smish pokemon
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maybe a controversial opinion but while i really love jiang cheng as a character he is deeply self-centered as a person. and seeing people fight tooth and nail claiming he isn't, or is just misunderstood, or that he has genuine valid reasons to be selfish when plenty of other characters make the difficult choice to forego status and opportunities for what they believe is genuinely right to do (read: wei wuxian, wen ning, wen qing, lan wangji, jiang yanli, mianmian, etc.)
it's just odd to me. especially if they're talking about the novels.
mxtx didn't give jiang cheng the name "sandu shengshou" as a quirky coincidence. there's a REASON she named him & his sword after the 3 poisons of Buddhism (specifically ignorance, greed, and hatred). it's crucial to the story that jiang cheng is NOT selfless and that wei wuxian IS.
it's important to accept that wei wuxian is, by their society's standards, not morally gray; he represents several Buddhist ideals in direct contrast of jiang cheng and multiple people attest to wei wuxian's strong moral character, which is a lot of why jiang cheng even feels bitter about him to begin with.
it's crucial, because by the end of the novel jiang cheng realizes the extent of this and begins to let go!
the twin prides thing wasn't jiang cheng wanting them to 100% mirror the twin jades. he does care about wei wuxian, but he wanted wei wuxian to stay his right hand man, in part the way wei changze was for jiang fengmian.
and if there's one thing you can notice about wei changze in the novels, it's that literally nobody talks about him. he is only ever mentioned when his cool mysterious mountain sect wife cangse-sanren is mentioned, or (even more rarely) when they discuss him as a servant to jiang fengmian. regardless of jiang fengmian's own feelings, wei changze was considered lesser to him and didn't seem to outdo him, since nobody's out there years later still waxing poetry about wei changze's skills.
it may not be the only thing jiang cheng wants out of a twin pride dynamic, but it is a big part of it. regardless of his parents' intentions in taking wei wuxian in and treating him certain ways, this twin pride right-hand man thing is what jiang cheng has felt owed since childhood. he gave up his dogs for wei wuxian, people gossip about his sect heir position with wei wuxian there... jiang cheng wants the reciprocation of what he views as personal sacrifices.
he is ignorant to the depth of what wei wuxian must've suffered for over 6 years as a malnourished orphan child on the streets. he hates how wei wuxian's intelligence, witty charm, and cultivation abilities are naturally stronger than his own. he does care about wei wuxian a lot and want them to be together as sort of-brothers, sort of-friends, sort of-young master and sect servant...
...but if it's between that unclear (yet still caring) relationship and being able to save himself just a little bit more, jiang cheng nearly always manages to clam up in the face of danger and choose the latter, which ultimately benefits himself most. maybe it's a stretch to call that sort of thing greed, but it certainly isn't selfless.
there are of course plenty of justifications for this. it's his duty as sect heir. his home and sect was severely damaged by the wen attack and subsequent war; he had to protect himself, etc.
but doesn't that prove the point?
wei wuxian may be charming, but in terms of pure social standing, he is lower and far more susceptible to being punished or placed in harm's way by people who have more power and money. to protect wei wuxian, yunmeng jiang's long-term head disciple and semi-family member, even in the face of backlash and public scrutiny would've been the selfless thing to do. this is what wei wuxian does for the wen remnants in the burial mounds.
jiang cheng does not choose this. it's not even an unreasonable choice for him to make! nobody else in the great clans is doing such a thing, stepping out of line to take on a burden that could weaken them in the long-run. wei wuxian himself doesn't hate jiang cheng for it; he lets go of these things and focuses on what good he can do in the present.
jiang cheng thinks further into the future - what would happen to him if he continued vouching for wei wuxian and taking his side? what about jiang cheng's face, his sect's face? would wei wuxian even care to reciprocate somehow? everyone expects him to cut off wei wuxian for being dangerous, for threatening his position, for...
do you see what i mean? to call jiang cheng selfless for falling in line with exactly what people expected him to do after the war is not only wrong, it's foolish.
"but they faked their falling-out!" okay. why fake it to begin with, except to protect jiang cheng and the jiang sect's own face? is that selfless? who does it ultimately serve to protect? wei wuxian canonically internalizes the idea that he stains all that he touches, including lan wangji, and agrees to the fake fight because he doesn't want to cause the jiang sect harm. regardless, it eventually slides into a true falling-out, and in the end jiang cheng is more or less unscathed reputation-wise while wei wuxian falls.
that isn't selfless. it's many things! it's respecting his clan and his ancestors, it's making a good plan for the future of his sect and cultivation... but it isn't a truly selfless in the interest of what's right rather than in the interest of duty and what's good for him and his family lineage.
that brings me to my next point: even though wei wuxian hid the truth of the golden core transfer, jiang cheng spent nearly 20 years believing that the golden core "renewal" he was given was a birthright gift of wei wuxian's from baoshan-sanren, an immortal sect teacher of wei wuxian's mother's and a martial elder to wei wuxian.
of course we all know that's a big fat lie, but jiang cheng believed that wei wuxian gave up a critical emergency use gift to him for decades! he was lied to, yes, but jiang cheng immediately agreed without even needing to be convinced. the light in his dead eyes came back with hope the moment wei wuxian even said baoshan-sanren's name. he accepted wei wuxian's offer to give that up to him and take it via identity theft without missing a beat.
with how mysterious and revered baoshan-sanren is, that's obviously not a light sacrifice to just give up to anyone, no matter how close they might be to you. pretending to be wei wuxian to take the gift could even be considered dangerous. what if she found out and got offended? could wei wuxian be hurt by that?
jiang cheng doesn't even hesitate. wei wuxian is the one who mentions that if jiang cheng doesn't pretend to be him, the immortal master could get angry and they'd both be goners. and funnily enough, the day they do go to "the mountain", jiang cheng is the one worried and suspiciously wondering if wei wuxian was lying to him or had misremembered.
of course they've both been traumatized like hell prior to this point. but still: it speaks to how broken he was at the moment as well as to his character overall.
i digress: jiang cheng "gets his golden core back" via what he believed was a gift that should've been wei wuxian's to use in serious emergencies. rather than use it for himself, wei wuxian risked his own safety and gave it to jiang cheng... and jiang cheng still ends up embittered and angry, believing that wei wuxian is arrogant and selfish.
if he truly views them as 100% brothers and equals with no caveats, why would he think that way? it's not like he needs to grovel before wei wuxian for doing that, or to reciprocate... but this is what i mean when i say jiang cheng feels he is owed things by wei wuxian. wei wuxian's actions hold a very different weight in jiang cheng's mind, and jiang cheng himself doesn't ever act the same way, except once.
is it wrong for him to feel like he is owed something? it depends. many asian cultures, including my own, feel that a person owes their family in ways that may not make sense to westerners. for example, it's considered normal for a child to owe their parents for giving birth to them, or to other caretakers for feeding, clothing, sheltering, educating them, etc.
however, something like verbally saying "thank you" or "i'm sorry" to family is considered crazy- why would you owe that? you're supposed to inconvenience your family; saying thank you or sorry is the sort of thing you say to a stranger or acquaintance. i get half-seriously lectured by my elders on this a lot even now, even though they know such phrases are just considered good manners in the US.
this muddies up the idea of wei wuxian being jiang cheng's family vs his family's charge or servant even more. jiang cheng wants wei wuxian to be close... but ultimately doesn't really choose to use what power he DOES have to protect wei wuxian. he considers himself still owed something that in his mind wei wuxian flagrantly never repays.
this isn't even getting into how despite spending a majority of his time with the yiling patriarch he never once noticed that wei wuxian stopped using any spiritual power-based cultivation. even lan wangji, who met them far more rarely, realized that something was wrong and that wei wuxian had taken some sort of spiritual damage, hence the "come with me to gusu".
of course manpain is fun and i'm not immune to the juicy idea of them reconciling and talking things out... but jiang cheng is deeply mired in his own desire to be "above" wei wuxian in multiple ways, and doesn't realize the extent of wei wuxian's actions, the intentions behind them, and the consequences wei wuxian knowingly faced for them.
to not recognize this about jiang cheng, especially in the novels, is really revisionist if you ask me. i reiterate that i really do like him a lot. he's flawed, angry, traumatized and has poor coping mechanisms, an overall fascinating character... but he is not selfless nor ideal, and i seriously draw the line at people saying he is.
wen ning shoves this all into his face at lotus pier to disastrous results. it is the reason why jiang cheng's a total mess at guanyin temple, and the reason jiang cheng ultimately doesn't tell wei wuxian about the fact that he ran towards the wens on purpose.
for that one last act of his to have really been selfless, he needs to not seek anything in return. he did it purely because it was right to do to protect someone else. if that means wei wuxian never finds out about it, so be it.
that moment that ended up causing jiang cheng irreversible harm is not a debt that wei wuxian owes him. it hurts, but no matter how bitter it is, that realization is so important to him changing in the future.
#keri chats#mo dao zu shi#jiang cheng#long post#this is NOT anti/crit for him btw i like him a lot i just feel like nobody interprets him the way i perceive him#which even then my interpretation is p nebulous... worth saying i also heavily disagree w ppl who think of him as an evil shithead#he's upper class & steeped in jianghu politics/self preservation. flawed as hell human being but they're all war criminals lbr it's#Magical Genocide and War Crimes: The Novel#anyway this post is messy as fuck but if u read all of it: thank u. if u agree with me: ilu. i wish more ppl understood revenge ethics#as they stand in asian cultures and history vs in western (almost always culturally christian) cultures#it's unclear how far in the future the extras are but at one pt he's ''the same as ever'' which at best indicates slow emotional growth#and like. ykw? i don't think he'll be repressed bitter angry thinking abt his losses n pain forever. i think he can grow i believe in him#i have so many thoughts on this i could've made this post go on forever augh#mdzs#danmei
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my darling baby gorl choonsik!
#Choonsik#kakaotalk#춘식이#I have my t money card w her on it in my wallet#Shes so cute ilu chat app mascot#Shes a potato cat…. Like a cat that looks like a sweet potato…. Iconic…#Also a break from my regular persona fanart lol#I wanna draw more stuff but other fandoms just aren’t doin it for me like p4 is
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i'm here (threat)
jayce is probably just one of my politest muses willing to wait his turn and therefore isn't running around feral and causing problems in my headspace (UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE—)
but if you thought you were safe you were wrong we lurk here we see you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )
#✧。・🛠️《 ooc 》#sometimes i do just be here scrolling the dash and nodding sagely#like “ah yes today's paper's got some good content”#and jayce is either sitting politely somewhere or . . . doing dumb experiments in his lab who can say#while the rest of my muses are duking it out for attention like a bunch of fussy toddlers#but yes ilu all and ty for your patience with my inactivity as always ;w; <3
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