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bangtanger · 3 years

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CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol 1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀ a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀ a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀ a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL

❀ some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

#m:text #tg

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ironghoul · 5 years

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(hey yall)

(So its been a while and im v sorry ive been away so long!!!! ;; my mental health has crashed and gotten really, really bad over the past few months (my bipolar disorder+manic depression in specific) and its been very hard for me to function on a daily basis, and unfortunately the act of writing things, from general messages to RP posts to fic to ecen this post, has become very VERY hard for me bc of the brainfog I endure from my bipolar 2. My ghost muse in general has also kind of gone to sleep in a sense LMAO and i cant be 100% certain as to why it did, though i have some p clear ideas on what at least contributed (from the state of this fanbase being, to put it bluntly, complete Scheiße and also i got super into the Suspiria remake anskdkdshusjdj). Im making this post today bc a) i honestly really miss this blog a lot and b) i wanna get back into rping again...really bad. Im just not really sure of what my brain is gonna do next and how capable of keeping up w replies im gonna be bc of that ;; so I dont wanna rush into smthn I cant dedicate to again yet nor like.....push myself back into RPing if im not ready yknow???

I have however had a couple thoughts abt Irons character recently, and esp after having so much time away from her, ive begun to realize that I might want to change quite a few big things about her???? After thinking abt it some ive come to realize that im not really sure that like....i want to keep her so much how she is now, which is still very coherent and humanlike with a few inhuman traits here and there, so just super fucking depressed and angry and grieving all of the time, etc. For one, I honestly had more of the intention when I first made Iron to make her wayyyy more feral than I have been depicting her in my RPs, and as well, idk if its just a moodswing or something or other but I have found myself growing very weary of iron's horrible neuroses and constant sadness; maybe ive just been through too much recently or its my mental health but Im so sick of having this character just be literally so horribly fucked up and tragic and sad all the time yknow??? Like im just...im weary lmao i dont seem to have the perserverance anymore to have that be her set character bc like its starting to hurt me too at this point and im sick of it, and so what Ive been thinking about in specific is that I think I would like to make some kind of marginal changes to her character. I always ended up forgetting to make iron more feral and animalistic most of the time bc i myself am a...human LMAO and so thats the only life experience i know, obviously, and I think i was so afraid when I first made her to make her meaner or more monstrous bc she might not have really "fit in" well with everyone elses OCs and also I was afraid ppl just wouldn't wanna interact w her if she was Too Mean ahsjdnbdhdhsk but now at this point i think im ready to say fuck that to all of that bc Ive definitely learned now that yall will really interact w just about any character with any personality type or behavior or whatnot, and also, i think it would not only make iron more interesting but more fun for me to write if she was more of a....you know...Awful Gremlin LMFAO and life is short, OCs and RPing were made for fun too and i dont have Time to worry abt that stuff and end up having to sacrifice half of my preferred vision for this character in the process. So basically i think she would definitely still be pretty sad abt Papa 3 but she abolutely wouldnt be constantly haunted and tortured by it anymore, and I also think I want to remove that whole little tidbit abt her always being kind of violent post-ghoulification, even before 3 died. She would also act a lot less human on a regular basis, like i would have her still being perfectly capable of walking upright, talking, being neat and having critical/articulate thinking skills & emotions etc, however there would be a new quality to her of her primarily being, well, again: feral. Not speaking much, probably running around barefoot quite often and sometimes crawling/moving around on all fours, having that sort of primal timidness with whatever new things she experiences, putting things in her mouth off the ground that shouldnt be there, etc you know how it is. She would basically be like fucking Spongegar (Irongar if u will) most of the time LMAO but again she would still be perfectly capable of acting more "humanlike", and staying in line with that Iron Brand Personality(tm) she would absolutely pick and choose who she would decide to act more 'composed' around VS who she wouldnt and would also definitely purposefully act way More feral than she rly is around (to spite some of them im sure). She would probably be more prone to (gasp) Actually Smiling and being happy on a reg basis too, not just being this dark cloud of an awkward troubled depressing fuck tbh. Which fits in more with how im thinking I want to portray her now.

So thats all that, sorry this went on so long and i cant put it under a readmore bc im currently on mobile ahsjdjdjdndjd but like i hope i said what i needed to say well enough. I also wanna know yalls (esp my mutual RP partners!) Thoughts and Onions on the changes I might make to Irons character!!! Ty all, ily 💙💙💙)

#text #ooc #personal #meditor

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rorypcarson · 5 years

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it’s hope??? again??? yes u read that right here’s my son rory love us this blog is so new so nothing will be in the tags i hate everything lmao anyway like this or message me to plot ily bye

triggers: car crash, drunk driving, stroke, abortion, death, depression ( mention )

╰☆╮ DACRE MONTGOMERY ─ RORY PEARSON identifies as CISMALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a YOUTUBER/MUSICIAN, and they’re only TWENTY-TWO ! they’re said to be +CANDID, but also -DESPONDENT. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE ACCIDENTAL BILLIONAIRE in the tabloids. ( kendall schmidt, logan henderson )

did i use two btr bois as his vc??? u bet ur ass i did & i have no regrets ok anyway on to my son

background:

rory pearson was born and raised in fairhope, alabama. his parents were teenagers when they had him and lived with his grandma scarlett. his mom jean marie was ousted by her parents when she told them she was pregnant and his dad’s mom took her in with open arms.

of course his grandma wasn’t going to let them live in the same room in her house without being married, especially with her grandbaby on the way. so after talking with them, and his parents agreeing, they went to the courthouse and got married three months before rory came into the world.

rory was born on april 20th, 1996 and he was without a name for six days. his parents couldn’t decide so they named him rory wyatt vincent pearson. he was always told that since his parents couldn’t decide on naming him after jean marie’s grandfather or greyson’s father, they picked a third name and gave him both of their names for middle names.

when rory was two and a half years old ( not really half, it was june ?? ) his parents graduated high school and went out for a party. unfortunately their designated driver wasn’t so sober and the group of four recent graduates crashed into another car.

his father was in the passenger’s seat and died on impact, his mother was pronounced dead in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

scarlett legally adopted rory after that and raised him. she always told him stories of his parents, but avoided telling him anything about what happened to them for as long as she could.

he was ten years old when he saw the memorial and recognized his parents from their yearbook photos and came home asking about it.

honestly this is jumping ahead a bit but rory didn’t learn to drive until he was twenty years old. and even now, esp now, since he lives in nyc he doesn’t drive often.

okay when he was seventeen years old he met bethany in an airport. he was on his way to a college interview on a connecting flight that got cancelled due to weather conditions. they were both sitting in the same terminal so they got to talking and !!! hit it off

bro legit asked her out 5 seconds after their flights were announced to be back on

“hi yeah we just met but we’ve got two hours before your flight leaves so wanna go grab some food with me???”

and the rest was legit history

he can remember every moment of their conversation and first date like it was yesterday. oh my god he was SO IN LOVE

the human embodiment of the hearteyes emoji

and so the pair stayed in touch and went on a couple more dates and the boy was so gd smitten that grandma scarlett took his phone during one of their phone calls and was like “darlin if you don’t fly down here to meet me i’m going to think my grandbaby is just talking to a complete stranger on here.”

and then bethany flew down and met scarlett and she was so excited because !!!! her grandson had a girlfriend !!!!

grandma scarlett was the biggest supporter of anything rory did in life oh my GOD

at his graduation it was just grandma scarlett in the crowd for him but boy did it sound like the whole crowd was cheering for him when his name was called

anyway flash forward to he’s in college and he’s moved away to be closer to bethany. which should not have affected his life but when he was looking at colleges fr fr after acceptances the boy chose one closer to his girl

we love a softie ok

anyway on bethany’s 19th birthday he took her to an airport and was surprising her with a trip to disney that he’s been saving up for for MONTHS !!!!

and at the airport he was like all jittery and nervous bc in his pocket he had an engagement ring but he did his bEST to hide it all from beth bc surprises

not that he planned the whole thing ( he did ) but it just so happened they were in the same restaurant waiting for their flight as their first date way back when

and in the middle of dessert, the waiters singing happy birthday this boy attempts to be sly and gets down on one knee. but didnt realize there would be someone coming up behind him to keep up the singing and he ..... kinda caused a mini avalanche of people

and he apologized and is like still on one knee and now he’s looking at bethany with a BRIGHT RED face and he had had this whole speech worked out in his mind ok but all that comes out is, “i love you, please marry me?” in like an awkward stutter because he just TOOK OUT AN ENTIRE WAITSTAFF

somehow bethany said yes ??? and they’re engaged ???

oh and someone got the whole thing on camera and like that happened

the video skyrocketed to the most viewed video entitled “i witnessed an awkward proposal???? and she still said yes?????”

which is also lowkey how he started his youtube channel ??

“hi yes it’s me the guy who proposed to an olympic athlete while taking out a whole waitstaff?? i dont know why she said yes either but i love her??”

and for a long time it was mainly vlogs of him and beth and him and his friends

okay so fast forward and rory’s graduated college with a degree in history education bc he wants to be a teacher and he’s got to fly back to alabama and miss his graduation because he got a phone call and grandma scarlett had a stroke

so the boy is freaking out but it’s fine !!! grandma goes home and he winds up staying down and now he’s trying to figure out how to be with beth, find a job in ny, but also take care of his grandma

for a while he toys with the idea of moving grandma up to new york and helping her find a place. so he goes back to new york to talk to beth about it and he’s freaking out and he gets home and she tells him she’s pregnant

of course he never expected to be like 20 and having a baby but ??? whatever. now he’s freaking out because his grandma is not doing good and he’s worried about her and now he’s got to figure out what to do with a BABY ???

and bethany then tells him she wants to get an abortion and rory’s already stressed and so he flips bc of emotions and they get into a huge fight and it just winds up with him leaving and heading back to alabama and bethany in their apartment

so rory goes home to alabama and he keeps getting notifications on social media about bethany so he just shuts his phone off and i’m talking like he goes days without touching his cell phone. he takes a hiatus from youtube because he’s freaking out and

two months after he’s home he seemed like scarlett was doing better so he took her to a party in town to see some of her friends and at the party scarlett had another stroke.

she died six days later, never waking up from the medically induced coma they put her in.

flash forward a couple more weeks after he’s working with lawyers for his grandma’s estate and rest assured scarlett pearson had nothing but her house, her garden, and her beat up corvette that her deceased husband wyatt bought her for their anniversary one year

so its a shocker to find out that scarlett pearson was worth 43.7 billion dollars

and now that money all goes to rory because he’s her only living heir ???

so rory gets this BOATLOAD of money and the local newspaper picks it up which brings it to the national news and somehow it made international news

“local alabama boy from youtuber to billionaire overnight”

so he kept his grandma’s house in alabama because ..... he can’t seem to let that go and why should he ?? its a good house and holds a lot of memories

but he does in fact buy a brownstone in manhattan its HUGE and he doesn’t have enough things to fill the whole space up but ??? he’s working on it slowly.

he created a makeshift recording studio in one of the upstairs rooms and has been working on music, which is new to him ?? he was always a bit artistic but never sure enough to like try it out

oh and he’s returned to youtube, he’s got a decent following i guess

i mean lbr he’s hot ???? and sings ??? so ??? ya know

personality:

okay so this is long already so im gonna keep this short n sweet

rory is a sweet boy, never really an athletic type always more focused on his studies than sports.

spent a lot of time with his grandma and he’s very easily attached to people he’s close to. not exactly clingy, but it’s really hard for him to let people go i guess ???

used to love shows like survivor and big brother and amazing race. always toyed with the idea of applying to be on amazing race but he never had anyone who would go with him, or could for that long.

he’s a real kind hearted guy and clumsy as fuck

a bit awkward when you first meet him but ??? you warm up quickly and so does he

clumsy af as noted earlier

kind of depressed ??? idk he’s not seeing anyone for it but post losing beth, his grandma, and like the possibility of a family in the future he’s kinda ..... morbid

puts on a happy front for youtube

oh and he does a podcast talking about stuff with his friends idk what exactly but ?? its prob music and movies lbr

connections:

best friend(s)--self explanatory; people who he gets along with and they’re like his ride or dies.

nerd friends--give him someone to geek out with please he’s SUCH A NERD !!!! or someone who likes learning random things he’s got u

musical friends--people who he met through starting to delve into music

youtube community--give me people who !!! met through youtube and often do colabs together. probably ppl who were shooketh when he came back and was like “bro i have 40 billion dollars????”

wealthy friend(s)--give me someone who will teach this boy how to be wealthy ??? like cause he knows nothing about that he struggled a lot growing up and with college and several part time jobs he doesnt know how to like party or anything

idk anything else

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adelvne · 5 years

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izzie’s back with her 2nd character y’all!! ( i also play erika fyi ) you can check out adeline’s bio here and tldr + plots under the cut :’) like this if you wanna plot with my darling or feel free to slide into my ims!

( tw: racism, bullying )

adopted when she was baby from china and brought to live in boot hill, az bc her parents thought it was a nice, wholesome place to raise a kid

which it was ( for the most part )

ah-de-leen, pls. named after her dad’s mom.

the merciers raised her without thinking much of her chinese heritage, like they molded her to be a nice all-american girl without realizing that would mess up her sense of her identity and leave her feeling v lost and confused bc she was probably like one of the few asian kids in boot hill!!

went to church every sunday. merciers are v christian. adeline herself isn’t so sure about religion anymore.

faced a fair amount of racism and ignorance growing up, esp in elementary and middle school. got a lot of why don’t you look like your parents/racial taunts/general confusion & ignorance/etc

she assimilated v well tho out of a desire to be accepted. in high school, bc she felt out of place, she focused on fitting in w everyone. was a cheerleader, student council vp, played piano, went to parties. a true chameleon. some ppl were jealous of her, thinking that she acted too good for them/whatever. others were like wow ur so exotic!!!!! but overall, it was fine. had a desire to reconnect w her chinese heritage, but that never went anywhere until she graduated.

graduated at the top of her class and went to columbia for school. was a big surprise to everyone bc who leaves boot hill?? esp for fuckin nyc and ivy leagues?? but off she went!

boot hill prepared her for nothing. going from boot hill to the ~real world~ was a shock and a half, and she definitely struggled. a lot. nearly failed her first semester. i think being somewhere different was intoxicating in itself, and it was easy to forget about going back home bc there was always, always something to do that she wouldn’t go back home for breaks.

met other asians and adoptees, really started to find more of herself. explored her sexuality more. got drunk and high. typical college things.

started searching for her biological mother during college but to no avail since her parents were p cagey about info. the merciers were well-meaning and caring, but also oblivious and selfish. didn’t want her to go chasing after her old family.

got pregnant when she was 22 bc well.....things happen. she was supposed to stay in nyc after graduating and start a new life with her boyfriend who promised he’d stick around for their kid. honestly, they really might’ve stayed together if he hadn’t died from being in the wrong place the wrong time. he was kinda involved in some shady shit tho.

she found later after he hadn’t come back to their apartment, and wanting to leave everything behind, moved back to boot hill to be with her parents. plus it’d be better for her son, anyway, bc for all her parents’ faults, they’d be good for her son and she needed the help.

rumors followed her immediately after she came back---who’s the father, what she’s running from, even she can’t escape boot hill---but they died down after a couple of months. worked in the schoolhouse cafe and saved up money until she was 26 and opened the olive branch bar to bring a lil bit of nyc to boot hill.

3 years later, her business is thriving, her son’s doing great, and she has a nice place in the desert willow apartments. life is fine. but she still feels like something is missing.

she’s kind, well-spoken, and poised. trustworthy---people were telling her all sorts of shit through hs and college bc she just seemed like the type to never tell your secrets and give good advice. it’s not that she minded, it’s just sometimes it was too much?? pretty private, doesn’t talk much about the time she left boot hill. still puts on an act. feels like she’s reached a dead end.

nicknames are adele, lina, elle, delle, etc. never addie.

plots!!

babysitting charges - her parents were well-off, true, but they always emphasized making your own way, so she did babysitting around town during high school. she’s watched these kids grow up, and now they’ve changed a lot. maybe it’s a older sister kind of thing??

friends - friends from high school in boot hill, those she’s reconnected with after returning, the friends she’s made with newcomers that have settled in, anything goes! pls give my gal some friends! i’d love some ride or dies and really close friendships that have stood the test of time. even if she kinda went off the grid. also, friendships that have had to put back together and fixed after time drew them apart!

will they won’t they - u know how this goes :~)

exes - give me the angsttttt. probably a high school rlship, and also any that happened when she moved back after college since she moved back when she was 22/23. amicable exes, a bad break-up, lingering feelings, let’s work something out! bi, but was closeted in hs bc there was a bunch of shit she was working out. hs ex-girlfriends??

flings, dates, whatever. she gets out sometimes ok. flirtations, that that fun stuff.

someone to help her in searching for her biological family, but how fruitful that’ll be in a town like boot hill who knows

people resent her for leaving and then coming back like? why the hell would you come back idk

do u have kids? playdates w her kid. he’s 7 and adorable.

pretty open to newcomers. are you a newcomer/recently settled? maybe she showed you around! maybe you’re friends! maybe something more!

local connections! people she’s been around her whole life for better or for worse.

confidants!! this could go both ways, maybe she trusts you enough to open up to you

regulars at the olive branch bar!!

#southbound.intro

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kyunsies · 3 years

Note

hello mädch! i'm sorry i haven't been around,, tbh i spent most of the last 2ish days being lazy and sleeping,, which i guess is ok bc i kind of gave myself that break! (+ i think this is why i've go to bed at 2 💀 i should fix that) i've missed sending you asks T^T but how have you been?

i think i talked abt uni in my last ask,, i really do hope to reach that goal bc it's smt i see myself being passionate abt :')) and after you explained the differences b/n the ICU/NICU i kind of get it. i feel like anything involving adults increases stress levels esp compared to babies/younger children. imo it feels easier to get kids to listen to you (also babies can't really do anything LOL).

recently i've been watching a lot of cat videos!! i really want one in the future. but aside from that,, today i watched a video of how to make cheese shaped cookies :)) the combination is.. interesting but they look so so cute ;__; - 🌱

AHHHH LOVE don’t be sorry :( iwwilk always be here for u no worries about that 🥺💖 i’ve been thinking about you !!!! but i’m glad u took some rest for yourself <3 JDJDJ i feel like i’m the only one that goes to bed at like 11pm here HHH IM A GRANDMA in a 22 year old body :)

oh hun if you’re passionate about it you’ll achieve it !! <3 it’s so hard to see yourself doing what u love with just a couple years to go (it’s so hard seeing myself actually working as a nurse omg) but you will end up where u need to be 💓 and omg yes for sure ……. like the NICU and ICU are equally as stressful but for me personally i find infants more calming than adults if that makes sense HHHHH i really just don’t want to be with adults like i feel at home with children 🥺 one of my clinical rotations was in the NICU and i was just like …. this fits, i love this, it’s what i want to do :(((( so hopefully i’ll be able to do this :)

ALSO ;____; i wish u can get a cat soon hun !!! it’s always nice to have a companion <3 ALSO SJDNDKDJ I WATCH COOKING TREE ALL THE TIMEEEE i’ve been subscribed to them for like a year now hhhh the videos are so CALMING <3 thank u for sharing this bub hehe i hope you have a wonderful day 💕💓💖💗💘💞

#asks #🌱 anon #missed u bub !!!!!

0 notes

bbysamu · 3 years

Note

hey ceci ur back!! ive been wanting to stop by but im afraid i would bother u since ur in the middle of a hustle so lemme start with making sure a couple of things— HOW ARE U?? and how were ur uni things going on?? if u wanna talk ab it tho) but i hope u still took a good care of urself these past days despite the hardship u had to go through 😣 im doing great (in case u wanna know lol 😗) — actually, not really, bc going through chaotic life for months wether its bc of my uni related things or work related things etc etc its really hard for me to find an ideal time for myself and now that i have all the time in the world, im completely clueless and confused like i literally dk what to do.. its weird to hv so much free time and instead of continuing my unfinished animes or read new manhwa or things that ive planned before, i ended up sleeping way too often and watching random youtube videos 🙂 but overall im good ,, ig im just not used to my recent life’s pattern/rythm/tempo??? lmao idk the most suitable word 😔🤚🏻

anw!! i actually wanted to fangirl over one of ur latest work where the boys teach u how to drive, its really refreshing and cool that u were able to come up with such adorable scenarios 😭💖 i could imagine those scenes perfectly in my mind. esp yaku && oikawa bc i could rlly see myself being scold by just anyone who teaches me how to drive and the two just represent my driving lesson life 😫 first of all i initially dont hv any interest in learning how to drive bc idk i dont like driving to begin with and second of all I GET PANIC EASILY but the thing is if my panic level is around 50-70% or under i would look super chill even tho im dead inside and i could see yaku yelling at me bc of how laid back i look while doing everything the opposite of his guides and when my panic level goes 71% and above we would probably scream at each other lol— no i would prob cry SKXBSKWNK and if im with noya.. lmao rip 🙏🏻 life hazard indeed 😇 if theres anyone i could choose as my driving teacher that would be kita shinsuke and kita shinsuke only bc man is super composed and i dont think he would glare let alone scold me but he would most likely say "love, ill drive you to wherever you wanna go, but in return i would be delighted to never see u in the driver seat ever again" <3 <3

— ☃️

baby ☃️! you read my mind because I was literally thinking of you / making an announcement to let you know that I've been missing you and thinking of you and sorry I haven't replied yet. But then you came into my mailbox. Are you Edward Cullen? cause you read my mind.

also you'd never bother me, so please always stop by. Yeah ive been really busy just with school. It's been a lot and honestly I probably should've came back after my midterms but 😭 but management on my part but its okay its stress relieving to be back on here too! I know what about you mean about your new life pattern/tempo. Hopefully you'll get into the groove of things soon again. I think we're in a very similar spot recently hahaha twinsies!

ive started horimiya recently (as in yesterday). have you seen it?

I'm so so happy you liked the driving piece! I don't think it was as well-received as I'd hope but I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed it. I really enjoyed writing it because I'm a bad driver (lowkey). I'm just really careful about driving and that in turn makes me a little too paranoid hahaha KITA would be a great driving instructor. If I write a part II I'll definitely have to include him. I panic so easily too, babe. But hey, driving is serious business. This ain't fast and furious, we gotta be careful 😂

miss you bb! can't wait to talk to you soon! x

#ceci got mail #darling ☃️

0 notes

fy-taebin-blog · 7 years

Note

can you help me get into myteen before they debut?

sure thing, anon! right now is a great time to get to know myteen since their debut is a couple weeks away, you won’t have to suffer long months of being teased like some of us earlier. ;;

so to start, i’m sure you all know that myteen consists of seven lovable members. they’re under music works ent, whom notably houses baek jiyoung, minzy, kim sohee, and u sungeun.

official links:

twitter

youtube

fancafe

facebook

music works vlive

official v-app channel

myteen has A LOT of content and we have a pretty small fanbase right now, so subbing is a bit on and off. i would check out their vlives since most of the time their broadcasts and earlier myteen shows are subbed. for the more recent myteen shows, i recommend jxj subs. (keep in mind that they’re a two-person team and they do have a life, so subs cannot always be ready right away!)

vlive subbed their mini reality show, but it only has yuvin, eunsu, hanseul, and chunjin! this was before myteen was even announced. such fetuses. each episode is only 5-10 minutes long!

episode 1

episode 2

episode 3

episode 4

episode 5

FY!MYTEEN uploaded all the episodes from MYTEEN GO, their reality show, and unfortunately, it’s not subbed except for episode 2. link.

now that all the basics are out of the way, let’s jump into the members!

Taevin / Taebin

full name: lee saewoong (im honestly not sure if it’s sewoong or saewoong lmao)

birthdate: january 22, 1996

position: sub-vocalist, actor, visual(?)

speaks english since he lived in new zealand

high iq king

screamed bc he thought a shoestring was a bug on him

shares the visual spot with junseob!

shot a cf for j route (x)

featured in gb9’s just i like you with kim sohee (x)

Chunjin

full name: kim sangjin

birthdate: december 22, 1996

position: main dancer, sub-vocalist

quiet but also that weird one

takes care of his health

he keeps herbal medicine in his bag

Eunsu

full name: choi eunsu

birthdate: february 12, 1997

position: leader, rap

mommy leader!

sensitive and shows his cute side v often

he cried when they performed on stage for the first time, poor bby (x)

Xiheon

full name: kim gukheon

birthdate: april 15, 1997

position: main vocalist

honey voice king

scared of honestly everything (first ep of myteen go shows this clearly)

honestly so funny and extra

future variety king

Junseop

full name: shin junseop

birthdate: february 4, 1998

position: main rapper, sub-vocal, visual(?)

honestly his visuals are top notch so i think he shares the visual spot with taebin

auditioned for show me the money 6

he laughs a lot bc he loves lame jokes

savage af

taebin said he was reading a book and junseop called him a liar

Yuvin

full name: song yubin

birthdate: april 28, 1998

position: main vocalist

auditioned in superstar k and was in the top 4

baek jiyoung liked him so much, she decided to make a duet song with him called garosugil at dawn and it’s literally so perfect (x)

also made his solo debut with you to the bone (x) ft. eunsu, xiheon, and hanseul

part of ‘i am the actor’, a show where yuvin shows his acting skills along with other idols! (x)

pretty much the most popular

bby lost a lot of weight ;;

he has a dog but is allergic to it lol

rly talkative and annoying (in a good way)

he speaks english out of nowhere sometimes lmao

Hanseul

full name: park minjun

birthdate: january 8, 2001

position: sub-vocal, maknae

SO SMILEY

he’s a tall bby

was not present in myteen go and most events due to school and his shoulder injury

so do not worry if you don’t see him in past myteen show videos!!

LOVES CANDY

he has a bucket of different types of sweet

and that’s all the info you really need to know for myteen! hopefully there’ll be a fanbase soon to provide subs because they are literally so funny!!! there’s only a few of us, but i hope this post will help you and a lot of other people to become their fans! the boys are extremely lovable and talented and i can’t help but obsess over them.

a couple of blogs you should follow:

@all-myteen @saeoong @taebinnie @xi-heon @minijuns @princejunseob

and also @kmseul (that’s my side-blog for myteen i made a few months ago lol i am definitely going to post a lot more myteen content on that blog, esp since i miss making gifs!!) and to those who i didn’t mention, i’m sorry!

we’re finally leaving the predebut era and coming closer to debut. i hope all you lovely people will join the myteen train and support them because this is music works’ first boy group, and first group overall! our fanbase is small, but we haven’t even entered the beginning yet, so let’s do our best to make our boys have a successful debut as well as a successful route into the idol industry.

i know this wasn’t a very good guide, but i tried my best! thank you so much for following me and you have no idea how happy it makes me to see how many people are steadily becoming fans of them. i will do my part and post a lot of content of taebin!

p.s. myteen will make their debut on july 26, don’t you guys forget!

#myteen #replies #anon

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furryowo · 7 years

Text

tag game!

i got tagged by @daisydaehwi (hihi jiu ily <3)</p>

THE LAST

Drink: milk!!! yum

Phone call: uhhhh i don’t make calls often? i think it was the kkt group call w charlie, claire, jenny, n hatice

Text message: actually i just sent jiu “aaaaaa im soft ily”

Song you listened to: pinwheel – svt’s vocal unit

Time you cried: recently???? i don’t rlly remember when or why,,,, (i do remember i cried recently bc i missed yixing)

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no skjabjdsa

Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed lol

Been cheated on: nope

Lost someone special: uhhh,,, not that i kno of

Been depressed: no dssfkjbakjsd

Gotten drunk and thrown up: i’m underage lol

3 FAVORITE COLORS

red, black, n white

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made new friends: yea!!!!!

Fallen out of love: dfbakjsbda i guess

Laughed until you cried: i don’t usually…

Found out someone was talking about you: uhhh not that i kno of

Met someone who changed you: yea!!!!!

Found out who your friends are: i’m not that smart lol idk

Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i don’t have a facebook haha

GENERAL

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: no facebook

Do you want to change your name: uhhhh my name is okay

What did you do for your last birthday: went to school n had some dessert

What time did you wake up: 7:00am!

What were you doing at midnight last night: uhhhh i think i slept early last night….

Name something you can’t wait for: the end of ap world history (OMG svt’s comeback tho!)

When was the last time you saw your mom: earlier! she’s sleeping now

What are you listening to right now: nothing but forever by exo is stuck in my head rn lol

Have you ever talked to a person named tom: tommy??? i think…. in nj

Something that is getting on your nerves: a lot uhhhhhh my parent’s bugging me abt homework

Most visited website: skadbskjadb the website where my grades are shown probably (i check it like,,,, five times a day)

Hair color: black but actually probably more rlly dark brown now

Long or short hair: r u asking what i have? bc i have short hair

Do you have a crush on someone: ???????? who knos

What do you like about yourself: my eye shape lol n ???? idk tbh

Blood type: i think it’s o positive???

Nickname: nothing much lol

Relationship status: single haha

Zodiac: taurus!!

Pronouns: she/her

Favorite tv show: uhhh i love merlin. produce 101 s2 was a fucking shitshow but i kinda miss it…. goblin!!! (the best) n sherlock ayyeeee

Tattoos: don’t have any but kinda want one

Right or left handed: right handed :)

Surgery: uhhhh i got my tonsils removed if that counts…..

Sport: i’m probably one of the most not athletic ppl u’ll meet lol (watching ice skating is rlly cool tho!!!! i’m hype for the winter olympics!!! jbaskjbdja i hope the russian couple who won in 2014 will b there…. honestly, my faves…. they actually left a great impact on me?? esp since i remember them like 4 yrs later haha p sure their names were maxim n tatiana)

Vacation: uhhhh idek what’s happening this week let alone my vacation

Pair of shoes: i’m on my bed…

MORE GENERAL

Eating: i had hot dogs for dinner

Drinking: n milk

I’m about to: who knos tbh idk

Waiting for: the end of ap world history (LOL but also once again, svt’s comeback!!!)

Want: to maybe take a break n sleep for like… 5 yrs yea that would b rlly ideal

Get married: ughughgugugh idk??? i kinda want to…. maybe

Career: uhhhh someday hopefully haha

WHICH IS BETTER

Hugs or kisses: affection is great in general but probs hugs

Lips or eyes: eyes!

Shorter or taller: i’m like…. smol so probably taller lol

Older or younger: o! actually, i was thinking abt this recently n probably older???? i can’t see myself being the oldest in a relationship

Nice arms or nice stomach: i don’t care lol

Hook up or relationship: dskjbskjbs i’d love a relationship but honestly…. a hookup is kinda what fits me rn like wow haha that kinda makes me sound bad but like sdifbakjbsadk aaaahahaha

Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhh??? both???

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: never kissed lol

Drank hard liquor: no haha

Lost glasses/contact lenses: it’s so freeing walking around w/o glasses for like, a day

Turned someone down: aaaaa yes

Sex on the first date: no thank u lol

Broken someone’s heart: uhguhugfuhduhidfudk wld it b bad to put maybe bc that’s questionable

Had your heart broken: yea lol but it’s fine :)

Been arrested: nope haha

Cried when someone died: uhhhh… in shows n books definitely but i can’t remember irl???

Fallen for a friend: haha yea

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: no lol not rlly

Love at first sight: not love haha but crushes n infatuations yea

Santa clause: lol no but i pretend

Kiss on the first date: uh actually y not haha

Angels: yea sure lol

OTHER

Eye color: dark brown

Favorite movie: n suddenly i forget all the movies i’ve watched ever…. uh i love disney tho :)

i have no one to tag hahahaha do it if u want!!! i’d b wild if u even read to down here

#hehe i'm supposed to b sleeping #but this is nice #i might sleep now tho #goodnight #!!!!#⭐

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Ali & Carly

Ali: this is why i don't wear shoes Ali: i have lost one??? Ali: rescue it if you see it Carly: what do they look like Ali: just a kinda tan sandal thing Ali: just a penneys special so not the end of the world, should chuck the other one so someone can have the pair Carly: come & bring me food & then youll be here to reunite them Carly: but yea k will lean out my door & see if its there Ali: love the enthusiasm, babe 😜 Ali: can feel your come down from here Carly: dont barely remember the come up Carly: wtf happened last night Ali: not in a much better position myself but uhm Ali: mayhem, that's for sure Ali: i think you might've gone home with the wrong cousin Carly: shit Carly: my bad Carly: better read my txts Carly: who did you go w ? Ali: didn't go that far with anyone Ali: 💍 remember and such a 😇 Ali: ronan was in a mard though and i weren't up for listening to that so 🤷 Carly: aw Carly: sorry baby i'll calm him down Ali: it's chill 😂 bless him Ali: no need on my account tho i'm sure he'd be down, despite protests otherwise Carly: my inbox is Carly: cba w this rn Ali: oh baby, want a bacon sarnie and a secretary? Carly: yea Carly: gonna throw my phone w your shoe Ali: i woke up to a mystery dickpic on my phone Ali: is it rude to ask which one it belongs to because lads, sorry, not that memorable that i'm picking it out of a line-up Ali: you'll know, been more recent, i'll come over with food and lucozade for real and ruin your day with that lovely image and the actually rather creative sexts that went with it Ali: 10/10 for effort, sir Carly: cant put it on the cv or school report but my memory for 'em is good Carly: if ive seen it i'll id it Carly: ill laff if its the large ginge cousin whose name i never got Carly: sounded like a cough Ali: that's a talent and if the man can't see that, fuck him Ali: and his job in tescos, like Ali: i mean, shouldn't have a preference but i hope not 😂 Ali: soz honey but Carly: thanks baby Carly: I hope its that token english Carly: he was fit Ali: can reply if you like Ali: worse ways to waste a sunday morning than messing with boys Ali: sounding like a priest Ali: oops Carly: ha Carly: i found some fucking funny vids of us so maybe the phone shouldnt go out window before youve had a look Ali: yes, i need to see that Carly: [sends her fave of the vids] Ali: aww Ali: we're fun drunks Ali: love that for us Carly: yea Carly: im a messy bitch tho Carly: no wonder i went w the hero cousin Ali: meh, things happen at parties, everyone knows that Ali: not like you're proper attached is it Ali: though he's gonna be annoying now probs but day in the life when you're irresistible, yeah? Carly: youd know babe Carly: he wont be on site long never is Carly: so idc Carly: saved me for a nite boy youre welcome Ali: duh Ali: hottest couple in town Ali: one for the wank bank anyway Carly: yea & he is fit Carly: give him that Carly: esp when i dont understand what hes saying Ali: the best kind Ali: a boy you don't have to speak to 😜 Ali: if that's all it takes like, whip out the Gaeilge Carly: youve got the giggles but yea Carly: true Carly: but on site id just have all the oldies chatting at me if i could Carly: not trying to make them go weak Ali: they ain't daddies? boo 😥 Carly: some got many kids but thats it Carly: say something to me then Ali: [sends voice memo, probably has dirty words she'd recognise from site life and lots of loling] Carly: k Carly: so hot Carly: if your gf is mad at me for stealing you last nite you can smooth things over w her like that Ali: might have to Ali: though it ain't you she's 😤 with Ali: poor ronan, shoulda done more than snog him if she comes for him, not even worth it for that Carly: ill protect him when he lets me back near Carly: cant stay mad at this Carly: sure your girls the same Ali: She's mad 24/7 babe, just gotta hold on, like 😂 Ali: we want different things now but that's not a convo for this morning like jesus Carly: whos got the energy Carly: cba w angry Carly: yea you want a sarnie Ali: exactly, and i wanted to have fun last night but may as well have said i want his dick in or around my mouth k bye babe Carly: ha Carly: that would be fun tho Ali: tell that to past you, dashing his threesome dreams like 🤷💔 Carly: still time Ali: not me you need to promise baby Carly: yea but id rather talk to you Ali: 💚 Ali: you cute Carly: all you Carly: how you look so good coming from band? wtf Ali: psh please Ali: it was all about you 🙇 Carly: if that was true why is every memory i got from last nite just you Carly: facts Ali: had to get you away from that mirror somehow, like 😉 Ali: it was fun Carly: ha Carly: cuz your talents got me like Carly: yea it was Ali: helps when the canvas already beautiful babe Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: 🍓 Carly: gonna make me cry Ali: don't cry lil one Ali: the bacon is coming Ali: got roped into doing a shady kid swap, where is my ma, take this demon child Carly: you can bring him if you want Carly: ill put clothes on before Ali: cockblocked again 😉 Ali: nah, he needs to go get shoes Ali: ironically and unlucky, twat Carly: what size is he Carly: i can ask around when i look for yours Carly: lads flog everything and anything here on sundays Ali: his feet are big man Ali: he's only little but he's lanky af, unlike me Ali: that's fun tho Ali: imma go shopping Carly: aw Carly: yea wish i was taller Carly: ffs ma and da Ali: literally Ali: least neither of my sisters are model tall or i'd be more raging Ali: we make it work, babe Carly: & i dont have any sisters Carly: well done on that one tho ma & da Ali: speak for yourself Ali: i'm gutted Carly: oww Carly: trying to replace me like the vows were no thing Ali: you know you're my one and only Ali: but a woman got needs Carly: thats what your gf is for Carly: no Ali: yeah but i'm allowed wishful thinking too Ali: damn Carly: ive given you the mental image of me naked Carly: what more you need Ali: are you jealous of your hypothetical sister? Carly: yea if you like her more Ali: aw baby, 'course not Ali: she's a ride, yeah, but bit of a bitch too, like Carly: ha Carly: takes after our ma like Ali: sadly, straighter than you Ali: 👎 Carly: like theres a ranking Carly: just straight or not yea Ali: I mean, it is a scale but I'm not gonna try and bond with your Ma giving her the test for it, like Ali: could we tie her down for a sec, obvs Carly: hit her when shes washing up Carly: takes long Ali: okay, i'll dry 😉 Ali: what an offer Carly: trying to make me vom now Carly: take crying or blushing over Ali: soz babe Carly: her & my da dont fuck but still dont reckon youre her type Ali: don't know what's worse, that, or knowing they do Carly: im good w them not Carly: sound carries Carly: no secrets in the caravan Ali: sure there's a toilet block they could go to Ali: keeping it sexy Carly: sure my da's there doing his cry wank Carly: while my ma checks the talent Carly: we got that to look forward to in our marriage in a few years Ali: who's scouting who's cranking Ali: because frankly, i refuse either Carly: im the biggest slag so probs me Carly: sorry Ali: and I'm not Ali: igloo sisters how many times now?! 😂 Carly: ha Carly: but youre loyal Carly: me and my ma dont kno the meaning like Ali: am i Ali: you miss the part when i got on ronan Carly: o yea Carly: i forgot Ali: idk what i'm gonna do about that Ali: instant gameover but its literally so irrelevant Carly: hes a ride Carly: you should be excused for it Ali: she's a 6 on that scale, yeah, massive gay Ali: so she ain't seeing that, never mind the other shit Carly: shit yea Carly: dont tell her Ali: does that make me the worst? Ali: i should hm Carly: hes not gonna speak to her Carly: and if he brags you can call it that Ali: Yeah Ali: I don't know Carly: its that or tell her Carly: & say youre sorry Carly: we were all wasted Carly: not like you have feelings for him Ali: You're right, obviously Ali: like that's the truth but yeah Ali: might leave it unless I need to go there Ali: soz God, swing by confession later Carly: tell her youre a bi cliche Carly: she'd love it Carly: use the scale Ali: she would tho Ali: validate everything she's ever sneaky or not so thought about me Ali: soz, i need a constant stream of p n v or i die Carly: a girl has needs Carly: what am i a 1? Ali: its like dis Ali: 1- all straight 2- mostly straight but lil gay 3- equal/bi 4- mostly gay but still lil into opposite 5- total gay Ali: but not gonna resist the urge to tell you you a 10 Carly: 🥇 Carly: i like that you're 3 tho. 3's a lucky number Ali: and a magic one 🔮 Carly: yea cuz youre magical Ali: believe it baby Carly: i do Ali: right, finally leaving, be like 10 Ali: doing the opposite to a walk of shame rn, strutting back in like what's good Carly: you gotta Carly: own it baby Carly: havent found your shoe tho sorry Carly: maybe ronan took it cuz he loves you so bad Ali: 😂 oh my god Ali: like a horny puppy Carly: yea Carly: building a shrine to you rn probs Ali: or he wanna play cinderella Ali: such a ridiculous fairytale, as far as they go Carly: how wasted was the prince that he cant remember what she looks like Carly: k been there but not trying to wife anyone Ali: right?! also, sure plenty of bitches a size 5, like??? Ali: was it a magic shoe Ali: no explanation, frankly Carly: yea like me and you have the same size Carly: ill take your prince for a ride bitch Ali: 😂 Ali: he cool with that Ali: that's the tea Ali: boy gives no fucks, long as it ain't a man in drag Carly: he hasnt met your brother tho Carly: boy looks good Ali: eww Ali: stop that thought right there Carly: dont get jealous Carly: not gonna go there Ali: not jealous, but repulsed 😷 Carly: k babe Carly: if you say so Ali: trust, you wanna see jealous you'll see it soon enough if you go there Ali: 😂 bea don't fuck about Carly: have to go for one of your other hot brothers Ali: trying be my sister in law and wife Ali: kickin it country Carly: you kno Carly: been on site too long Ali: forreal, not gotta hang with the traveller lads that hard baby Carly: after last nite not gonna be hanging w them for a while Ali: let 'em fight it out amongst themselves Ali: defs for the best Carly: yea Carly: hide w me babe Carly: gonna be so bored Ali: gonna Ali: i'll peep their wares another day Ali: not a euphemism Carly: sounds dirty tho Ali: yeah, regretted it as i said it but hey Ali: love me a sale and a gypsy boy Carly: no regrets boo Carly: they love you too Carly: esp whoever send the dick pic Ali: the real mystery Ali: soz everyone else with your drama but we gotta know Carly: i do need to be knowing Carly: thats my wife lads Ali: awh you gonna defend my honour n delicate sensibilities Carly: yea Carly: youre an angel Ali: you're so cute Carly: its you Carly: my parents came back Carly: gonna have to run Ali: oh no i am en route Ali: where you going boo Carly: i'll catch you and we can find somewhere theyre not Carly: ha church Carly: can you eat there cuz im not looking to die for jesus Ali: yeah for sure, not in the pews like its the cinema, like Ali: can go park if you wanna Ali: or up the mountain if you can hack it, like Carly: youre so smart Carly: like your mouth Carly: but yea Carly: date time Ali: awh yeah Ali: this picnic ain't goals i'm so sorry babe Ali: least the weather's looking up Carly: idc Carly: get to be w my boo Ali: 😍 Carly: i look crazy Carly: havent got dressed faster w out getting fucked before since idc Carly: idk Ali: i like crazy Ali: and beside me you'll probs look totally normal 😉 Carly: you look hot every day baby Carly: facts Ali: all these compliments got me feeling 🔥 obvs Carly: thats how i want it Ali: gonna have you flying high too Ali: top of the world, baby Carly: aw Carly: whats in the food like Ali: 😂 Ali: just faith n trust n pixiedust, of course Carly: you can snort pixiedust yea? Carly: k Ali: you gon' be mad when i've got nothing but sandwiches and half a donut Carly: nah Carly: cant be mad at you Carly: too cute Ali: and donuts are life Carly: true

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hoekage-chan · 5 years

Note

You should answer all the hella cute questions

yall about to learn so much about me

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? -uhh someone i went on a date w yesterday lmao2. Are you outgoing or shy? -im pretty outgoing, i only seem shy since i dont want to be cringey lol3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? -my friends ig lmao4. Are you easy to get along with? -yes! i love talking to people5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? -probs not, but like im not close enough to ask that of them, and im gucci w that6. What kind of people are you attracted to? -stylish, confident, funny, good taste in music, seems like they would ruin my life7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? -bih i dont know i always find myself in something so maybe8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? -yee some guy i went out w friday c:9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? -nope im an open book10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? -probably my friends lmao (shout out to the 24hr diner ty for letting us just get fries and soda everytime)11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? -BIH I KNOW OMG IM DEAD12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? -glow like dat, faygo dreamns, killamonjaro, need you, love me13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? -yes omg easiest way to get me whipped lmao14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? -yes!15. What good thing happened this summer? -i met up w all my friends again16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? -uhh some guy i went out w yesterday lol17. Do you think there is life on other planets? -yah the world is too big for it to just be us18. Do you still talk to your first crush? -nope! i dont even know what has happened to them19. Do you like bubble baths? -yes. bath life is the best life20. Do you like your neighbors? -i dont kno my neighbors21. What are you bad habits? -i respond rlly late to things22. Where would you like to travel? -japan, korea, places w good food23. Do you have trust issues? -yah lmao that shit gets thrown in my face24. Favorite part of your daily routine? -my makeup! only reason i get up25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? -everything26. What do you do when you wake up? -regret having an 9am class or regret staying up lmao27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? -uhh either tbh, i just dont rlly like the tone in general28. Who are you most comfortable around? -my friends c: i hang out w them for a reason29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? -lmfao nope 30. Do you ever want to get married? -kinda... i wouldnt mind it31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? -yeeeeeee32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? -... michael b jordan for sure and uhh maybe chris hemsworth??33. Spell your name with your chin. -no34. Do you play sports? What sports? -i used to swim but i just lift now35. Would you rather live without TV or music? -tv omg ill die w out my playlist36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? -ALL THE TIME 37. What do you say during awkward silences? -anything so they dont feel awkward38. Describe your dream girl/guy? -nice, big dick energy, good taste in music, warm in general lol39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? -f21, h&m, khols, target40. What do you want to do after high school? -well i went to college so theres that41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? -sometimes they do, but if they hurt u rlly badly then maybe its best they dont42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? -im tired, high, thinking, or confused43. Do you smile at strangers? -yeee44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? -bottom of the ocean omg45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? -the fear of failing another class46. What are you paranoid about? -my life in general47. Have you ever been high? -yes48. Have you ever been drunk? -yes49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? -not really lmao50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? -navy blue51. Ever wished you were someone else? -sometimes i do52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? -uhh everything lol53. Favourite makeup brand? -juvias place54. Favourite store? -........... i actually dont kno lmao55. Favourite blog? -... imma be real i dont even kno who i follow anymore tbh56. Favourite colour? -green57. Favourite food? -spam58. Last thing you ate? -rice59. First thing you ate this morning? -water60. Ever won a competition? For what? -if i did it was a swim competition61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? -nope im a good noodle62. Been arrested? For what? -nope63. Ever been in love? -yah64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? -i inv my friend to come over, we chill at my house, he asks if we can do something friends dont normally do, we kissed and then we did other stuff >:)65. Are you hungry right now? -not rlly lol66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? -nah lmao 67. Facebook or Twitter? -twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr? -tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? -nope70. Names of your bestfriends? -i dont put names on the internet lmao71. Craving something? What? -spam72. What colour are your towels? -like a teal/sea green color72. How many pillows do you sleep with? -273. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? -yes 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? -5 for sure at my apartment and at least 5 back home75. Favourite animal? -sea otters76. What colour is your underwear? -blue/white77. Chocolate or Vanilla? -choloclate78. Favourite ice cream flavour? -chocolate or matcha79. What colour shirt are you wearing? -.......... 80. What colour pants? -........................81. Favourite tv show? -golden girls82. Favourite movie? -uhh i guess either to all the boys i loved before or the breakfast club83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? -mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? -mean girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? -all too iconic to choose from86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? -crush87. First person you talked to today? -my snap streaks88. Last person you talked to today? -welp days not over yet so....89. Name a person you hate? -i dont rlly hate anyone rn90. Name a person you love? -my friends!! they deserve everyting91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? -dumbass bitches92. In a fight with someone? -nope miss me with that bs93. How many sweatpants do you have? -294. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? -too many95. Last movie you watched? -into the spiderverse96. Favourite actress? -kiera knightly97. Favourite actor? -michael b jordan98. Do you tan a lot? -not anymore99. Have any pets? -i have a doggo back home100. How are you feeling? -fucking cold omg101. Do you type fast? -probably lmao102. Do you regret anything from your past? -yah but i try not to dwell on it103. Can you spell well? -NOPE LMAO 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? -nah lmfao105. Ever been to a bonfire party? -nope but it seems fun106. Ever broken someone’s heart? -probably i can be p distant so i wouldnt put it past me107. Have you ever been on a horse? -yeee108. What should you be doing? -studying109. Is something irritating you right now? -the fact im a bitchass lmao110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? -a couple times111. Do you have trust issues? -yah like i answered eariler112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? -my friends (at the diner lmfao)113. What was your childhood nickname? -shark bait, mosquito bait114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? -yeee115. Do you play the Wii? -used too116. Are you listening to music right now? -heck yeah i got a 15hr playlist on rn117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? -not rlly118. Do you like Chinese food? -yeee119. Favourite book? -uhhh its basic but animal farm (or maybe to all the boys i loved before)120. Are you afraid of the dark? -not rlly121. Are you mean? -nah i cant do it, but i feel like some would see me being distant/roasty as mean tho soooo122. Is cheating ever okay? -depends on the context of everything123. Can you keep white shoes clean? -barely124. Do you believe in love at first sight? -yes125. Do you believe in true love? -yes! i believe everyone has a soulmate out there126. Are you currently bored? -kinda lmao127. What makes you happy? -cute things, blankets, music, food, my friends, cuddling128. Would you change your name? -nah, ive thought about it tho129. What your zodiac sign? -scorpiHOE130. Do you like subway? -its aight131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? -test the waters, you never kno what will happen132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? -my friends (at the diner lmao)133. Favourite lyrics right now? - gusto ko lang naman ang lambing mo (i want to kiss you)134. Can you count to one million? probs in japanese but ill loose focus (esp in english omg)135. Dumbest lie you ever told? -too many to choose from (and i dont wanna expose myself)136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? -closed137. How tall are you? -5′7″138. Curly or Straight hair? -either or139. Brunette or Blonde? -ive been both soooo140. Summer or Winter? -winter (but i like summer style)141. Night or Day? -night all the way142. Favourite month? -november (my bday month)143. Are you a vegetarian? -nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? -dark145. Tea or Coffee? -tea146. Was today a good day? -it was ok (it wasnt bad but it wasnt good)147. Mars or Snickers? -either148. What’s your favourite quote? -getchu a mans that treats you like a queen in the streets and a slave in the sheets149. Do you believe in ghosts? -yah and i dont fuck with them150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? -nope that shits a textbook and i dont want to look at it

damn that was a lot to type but uhh now yall know shit about me

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sambashua · 7 years

Note

HOW SVT BE FAM

♥S-sa-say the name!!

So this is going to be the longest post in the history of mankind bc I go real deep w their personalities and stuff ahh also since I don’t personally know them ofc so this is all based on what I’ve seen from their shows and videos:)) THANKS FOR ASKING KAT I’M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A HARDCORE CARAT SOONER RATHER THAN LATER AHHH [sidenote i included my personal nicknames for them so u know who i’m talkin abt irl girl] I ALSO LINKED A BUNCH OF STUFF I RLLY WENT CRAZY

Choi Seungcheol aka S.coups (cheolie) - OKAY AH since he’s your bias I’ll write extra thingsssss!! The faithful general leader and rap boyyy scoops! So this lil bun I thought for a while when I first followed them like oh he’s probably the most normal like he’s level headed and stuff but NOPE NOPE NOPE! SEUNGCHEOL IS ACTUALLY THE BIGGEST CUTIE DORK IN THE WORLD he is afraid of like a lot of things which is too funny bc he’s acts all manly and all the members see him that way and I cannot believe~ like he’s afraid of killing fish and and fireworks and being in front of the camera alone and chopping firewood and doing something that doesn’t get a reaction?? Whenever he does any sort of charm he tells the members to be sure to have a good reaction and BOYY IF THEY DONT he goes off on them I stg… but in all seriousness he is so so so hardworking (he trained for 6 years oh my god) like he always tries to take pressure off his members and he cares for his babies so much and they even call him appa sometimes and they look up to him so much it is the cutest thing like they always rate him so high in looks and I cry love him plz. But he is an actual puppy like w his long eyelashes and pouty face like oh my god and he is getting cuter everyday???? Like actually tho he’s doing it on purpose and I can’t handle it?? When did he plan this I can’t believe how frickin cute he is being lately! He’s such a soft fluff and he’s always so strong for the other members and they look up to him so much and he is one of the best groups leaders I’ve ever seen just bc of how much they all respect and listen to him:)Yoon Jeonghan (hannie) - so this pos… jkjk (kinda) hannie is “svt’s angel” bc he was born on 1004 the pretty vocalist who everyone knows as the guy in seventeen w long hair SOOO the thing w hannie is he is like the most beautiful man in kpop like his face is so pretty and his features too like?? How?? He seems like he would be feminine but he is actually one of the most (if not the most) manly members of svt!! But he gets tired so fast tho he is rated #13 in stamina and they call him lying-jeonghan bc he’s always lying down lol. But oh my god he is such a piece of trash I cannot believeeeee on tumblr I have a tag dedicated to all the times hannie has been a piece of shit I’ll link it to you if you want but like he cheats and lies in EVERY GAME THEY HAVE EVER PLAYED NO JOKE and even if they’re not competing he is always the first to call someone out and he is just such a ho i die like he is not svt’s angel at all BUTTTTTTTT he is actually so hardworking like even if he’s tired they’ve said that he keeps practicing and ugh he’s good… he has dubbed himself mother of svt and generally everyone p much agrees w him! Hannie and seungcheol call the other members “kids” and it is the purest thingJoshua Hong/Hong Jisoo(kor) (shuaaa) - everyone kinda knows josh as the American gentleman w his sweet voice and sick English skills (side note whenever he speaks eng tho he always stutters and I’m like boy why but it’s super cute and ilh) and he can speak five languages (supposedly) he plays guitar and he’s rlly Christian too lol so he’s the resident “church oppa” as the kids say these days and he has a cute cartilage piercing w a cross aw (he also recently got his tragus pierced and damn it looks good but anyway) Also his peach hair was such a good time like wow. Shua seems rlly quiet and I mean he is but oh my god he is so fucking extra LIKE I DONT UNDERSTAND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE BECAME SO EXTRA IDK WAS HE ALWAYS THIS WAY BUT I DIDNT SEE PAST HIS CAT EYES AND SWEET VOICE LIKE WHO KNOWSSSS but he does this pin drop dance thing way too often but it’s hilarious and the members are obsessed w it bc he always says he has a hard time w dance and choreo and this is his only dance move (but tbh he’s actually p good at dancing like i never rlly notice he falls behind or anything except that one time performing pretty u where he started his part too early but that actually created a new part of the choreo they ended up using for a bit fun fact)… that and his samba aka my url sambashua (technically he doesn’t actually samba tho I’m p sure he’s doing the merengue but it’s okay shua I still love u) He’s also a fricking nerd for anime which is great i love it. Josh and Vernon are rlly close bc English buds and they’re the memeist together also him and jeonghan are a true ship bc they came to pledis at the same time and they’re cute

Wen Junhui/Moon Junhui(kor) aka Jun - so jun is ½ of china line and ¼ foreign line. A dancing noodle from southeast China wow (I say noodle bc he is a skinny bean and also v flexible bc he does martial arts things wow) he did Kung Fu in china for a long as heck time and does a lot of kicky things and flips and he’s super cool ALSO FUN FACT: HIS NAME IS JUN AND HE WAS BORN IN JUNE WOOHOO a lot of people assume he’s like sly/greasy but that’s mostly him in like interviewy shows?? But in reality shows and vlives he is actually just such a cute sweet bean and he loves the members so much! He was a child actor in china and was p famous I think for a while?? But he learned Korean p well before he joined pledis (their label btw idk if you know or not lol) BUT EVEN FROM DEBUT HIS PRONUNCIATION HAS KEPT IMPROVING IM SO PROUD a lot of people cal him the true visual of svt (tbh I don’t like that bc they’re all beautiful don’t put anyone down ah) BUT HE IS SO HANDSOME LIKE DAMN BOY HE’S GOT SUCH NICE FEATURES AND HE IS THE CUTEST BEAN IN THE WORLD Alsoooo several of the members have dubbed him svt’s mother bc he’s super encouraging and “endless positivity jun” and he pays special attention to minghao they have the purest friendship!! (plz give him lines)Kwon Soonyoung aka Hoshi (HOSH) - DANCE MASTER AND PERF TEAM LEADER OF SEVENTEEN LIKE OKAY ALL OF PERF TEAM IS SO TALENTED I CAN’T BELIEVE BUT SOONYOUNG IS SO INCREDIBLE HE CAN CREATE DANCES ANYTIME ANYWHERE AND HE EXECUTES THEM SO WELL?? His stage name Hoshi means star in Japanese bc he shines in stage! And he knows Japanese pretty well I don’t think he’s fluent but he cute cute cute!! Anyway people rec him to go on hit the stage (WHICH I AM SO HERE FOR (but also let him rest he needs a break dear god they all do)) he creates all of svt’s dances wow (w help from perf team ofc) but he is actually the squishiest sweetest boy off stage but then on stage he completely transforms into whatever concept like he can take on anything?? I would not have assumed dark concept would work for him BUT BOY HOWDY IT DOES he turns from adorable hamster to sexy dance god in .2 seconds i don’t understand how people who bias him survive tbh… He is also SHINee’s biggest fan oh my god and the fact that he now stands on the same stages as them literally blows his mind he is such a fanboy i love♥ HE CARES FOR HIS MEMBERS SO MUCH (I realize I’ve said this abt everyone but hey hey they have a lot of love) he wrote HIGHLIGHT as his first time ever helping produce/write lyrics and I’m so proud:D AND HIS VOICE HIS SO GOOD he’s just so bouncy and good and so attractive??? He goes by 10:10 bc his eyes are like the hands of a clock at 10:10 wowie and EYE SMILES FOR DAYS~ just a sweet lil bab w a pure heart honestlyJeon Wonwoo (wonu aka the loml) - goddammit I hate jeon wonwoo JKJK OKAY SO JEON WONWOO IS MY ULT BIAS IMMA DO MY BEST TO KEEP THIS CONCISE BUT IDK HOW IT’S GONNA GO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY! jeon frickin wonwoo has the deepest voice in svt and is known for his deep, smooth rap style wow (his rap style is really unique like if you listen to it it sort of ebbs and flows w the music and he drags out notes sometimes it’s so nice fuck) he sings all the time it’s so great and the members always ask him to read things bc (he’s good at reading generally and) he has his nice deep voice ahh~ JEON FRICKIN WONWOO IS THE BIGGEST DORK IN THE WHOLE WORLD jeon wonwoo enjoys making bad puns and reading books (esp romance ones I hate him). The other members act like they hate his jokes but they always laugh at what he says and when he was gone (rip he was sick for a couple months from end of may ish to july ish) they mentioned that they missed his dumb jokes (and so did I). He considers himself to be the best looking (what a ho) and he is naturally skinny which a lot of the members are jealous of (but tbh this could be partially because he has a lot of health issues and allergies I just want to care for him and make him food and feed him forever so he gets fat and happy help me) On one fine day he was dubbed the garden fairy and also jeon wonwoo bag of luck oh my god I am so embarrassed by him (jk I love him w the entirety of my heart in case you couldn’t tell) Some of my favorite things abt wonwoo are his little nose crinkles when he smiles and his glasses that look just so cute on him and when he wears big sweaters and then he has sweater paws and he looks so cuddly and soft. He is also so boastful like he is always the first one to support himself it’s so funny but he doesn’t exactly brag it’s more confidence idk but he’s also rlly smart and good at acrostic poems bc he reads so much:) He also always cheers for other members when they want him to i.e. seungkwan when he cheers for himself. He seems shy when he’s on talk shows but I think he just wants to let other people talk but on vlives he always whispers to other members aND I JUST WANT HIM TO SPEAK UP! JEON WONU TELL US WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY but in conclusion I am in love with him and would def recommend anyone to bias him bc honestly he is a good bias just bc he is chill and pure and funny and beautiful (even tho sometimes he’s MIA and quiet as heck pshhh)Lee Jihoon aka Woozi - vocal team leader and producer of p much all their lit ass tunes!! 10/10 MOST HARDWORKING MEMBER OUT OF SVT I’M SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT JIHOON WORKS SO HARD ALL THE TIME I’M SO WORRIED FOR HIM HE NEEDS A BREAK!! It’s so heartbreaking tho if you ever want to cry and cough up your lungs bc of sobs then watch SVT Project where he talks abt how he feels so much pressure and feels like their success or failure is riding on him bc he writes all their music and will determine if they will be any good:(((( BUT OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE A BIG HIT BC JIHOONIE IS SUPER TALENTED AND MAKES THE BEST UPBEAT FUNKY FRESH POP TUNES OF THE CENTURY~ he is one of (if not the) shortest male idols at the moment at a staggering 165cm/5'4"! But it’s so great bc he doesn’t try to hide his heigh and he is considered and “inspiration to short men” according to one fashion report. The members always say he is rlly manly but on camera he acts cute and 10/10 appreciate it bc he is the cutest ever but only subtly… like he embarrassingly/shyly covers his face so cutely and gets angry so adorably where he just glares aw (he has also confirmed that he considers himself to be more cute than scary) woozi is a abbreviation of “our jihoon” which is the cutest asjkdhskl. He is also seventeen’s grandpa bc he is rlly not too hip at all but they try to help him out anyway! He also winks 24/7 lol. His voice is rlly clear and piercing like he often sings parts of the chorus and his voice draws you in idk it’s nice:) he trained for the second longest amount after scoops (5 years) so they’re super close bc they were together longer than the other membersLee Seokmin aka Dokyeom/DK - an actual ray of sunshine w the most incredible vocals like wow! He is svt’s “happy virus” and boy does he own it!! He is always smiling and laughing and making jokes he is the cutest I stg… He also has a more built figure physically and it’s hot as heck tbh. He, seungkwannie and soonyoung make up the “booseoksoon” trio which is basically the extra/mc/always laughing squad and they are such close friends it’s the cutest ever boo and hosh think he’s the funniest person in the world I love it!! Seokmin also puts a lot of pressure on himself bc he’s main vocal and I feel like he’s super underrated???? But he went on King of Masked Singer and I think he made it through two or three rounds? Anyway he did rlly rlly good (even tho honestly think he has way more potential than what he showed) and I hope it boosted his confidence bc he is incredible!! The judges assumed he was from an older group bc his voice was so mature eeeee!! HE IS SO LOUD OH MY GOD one time they said that the CEO could hear him practicing from the 4th floor while he was in the basement I- He is always the first person to make fun of himself and he doesn’t mind being the brunt of a joke as long as he gets people to laugh it’s adorable:)) He always brings up the mood and helps out the members whenever there is awkwardness w being filmed and such JUST SUPPORT THIS SUNNY BOY HE HAS SO MUCH LOVE AND JOY IN HIS HEART!!Kim Mingyu - the tallest bean on the block and svt’s “visual tree” at a staggering 190cm/6'1" (correct me if I’m wrong I didn’t look this up) but I’m p sure he has grown recently bc he is getting taller everyday I swear? He’s got some good rap mhmm~ But he is such a clumsy pup and the members always make fun of him but it’s okay bc he can take it (he has the best reaction so that’s why they do it) He is dropping things and tripping 25/8 and it’s the cutest thing! But “housewife ming” can legit do anything like he is a true man of many talents damn i.e. cooking, hairstyling, acting, cleaning… But he is so so pretty like who the heck allowed him to be this attractive?? Gyu goes from super visual savior to fluffy pup on the daily and it’s too much to handle… Idk he seems like he might be super cool and chic when you first see him but he is actually just a giggly fool always having a hard time… Mingyu is the only one in svt that I would call the “visual” (only bc he is officially the visual i think they are literally gorgeous okay!!) but he is actually rlly insecure abt it and only calls himself “aspiring visual” and it’s mostly bc of his dark complexion WHICH IS COMPLETELY FLAWLESS AND SO BEAUTIFUL STOP WHITEWASHING KIM MINGYU PLZ but i rlly commend him for being visual despite common opinions/standards on skin color in korea. A lot of people (okay most people) ship him and wonwoo (aka meanie) and I do too, don’t get me wrong, but my all time favorite ship is mingyu and minghao (aka gyuhao) bc same age, they act like they hate each other but are actually super supportive (one of my fave tropes blah) and idk they’re both just confused pups help me and w that transition…

Xu Minghao/Seo Myungho(kor) aka The8 (i never call him the8 ever srry b i don’t like it idk ah) - our “cool cutie” from northeast(i think) China with the most killer bboying skills i’ve ever seen in kpop! He now introduces himself as “The8 with infinite possibilities” and he has been growing more and more as an artist and a person I’m so proud of him!! He trained for the shortest amount of time (~1year+2months i believe) and he really struggled w Korean when he first started. Even after debut he was very quiet but he has been talking more and more lately and he has been doing so well!! Minghao is cute as heck but he is also (along w hannie) svt’s Resident Savage™ and the main usage of his Korean improvement has gone into calling out the other members w his incredible comebacks. Two of his favorite targets seem to be soonyoung and mingyu but he rlly doesn’t hold back on anyone (except maybe jun bc they are such good buddies bc china line and jun helps him w his korean asjkklfjls) But anyway he is an incredible dancer and singer and also rapper!! (give him more lines plz plz plz) vernon has been helping him w his korean rapping but he is already one lit mandarin rapper like damn… But minghao is the most supportive member of svt (hear me out) whenever they do broadcasts or radio shows minghao always gives thumbs ups/supportive smiles/high fives it is the purest thing and part of the reason I love him sm!!! He’s also super cuddly and is always touching/hugging the other members asjkltfasd. Sometimes he doesn’t quite understand a question and the other members help explain it to him it’s my favorite concept (it’s usually soonyoung or seungcheol but i’ve seen p much all of them do it) lately he has been getting more meme-y and idk how to feel but as long as he’s getting out of his comfort zone I am immensely proud of him:))

Boo Seungkwan (boo) - the other main vocal in svt and just generally the loudest and usually mc for the group. Boo has some of the most incredible vocals i’ve seen in my life and he sings probably my favorite cover duet of all time (the high note around 3:05 makes me emotional every time istg also their reactions are me) He’s so talented and his voice is so clear and nice and his RANGE! I could go on forever… To describe seungkwan in two words would be sweet and sassy… He is part of maknae/baby line but he’s always calling people out and bossing them around it’s hilarious. (he is generally hilarious tbh) Also he’s a huge volleyball program nerd it’s great (and possibly haikyuu!! but not confirmed) He’s commonly referred to as divaboo and the video just seungkwan things captures all his divaness perfectly 10/10 would rec! He’s also super english-y all the time probably bc he spends so much time w vernon which is great for us international fans whoop whoop. But back to him being sweet- even though he is definitely his own biggest fan (in the most adorable way omg) he is also svt’s biggest fan he always cheers on his members it’s so cute he’s so soft and good! He cares so much for the fans and he’s head of the Seventeen Fan Cafe (i think) and he’s great abt interacting w carats and all that fanservicey stuff:) He is also super underappreciated honestly support him bc he supports everyone else even tho he’s rlly insecure abt his looks and body even tho he is the most beautiful boo w THE BEST CHEEKBONES IN THE UNIVERSE HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE THINGS DAMN BOY

Hansol Vernon Chwe/Choi Hansol(kor) aka Vernon (bernonie) - One of the most well-known members of svt bc he’s half white and was also a child actor. He has some of the most lit raps tbh and i’m p sure every single one (or almost) has english in it lol. His mom is white and American and his dad is from Korea. Technically he was born in New York, USA BUT BUT BUT he moved to korea when he was five so he doesn’t remember it like at all and every host ever asks him abt it and he always has to say he is basically korean and JUST LET HIM LIVE but since his mom speaks english he is fluent in it (but he has said he is better at korean) He is super super visual and he gets more attractive every day like who the heckkk. Hansol is one of the more popular members so a lot of people would expect him to be outgoing (or even douchey bc he’s half white which is dumb yet it happens) but he is one of the quietest members and usually doesn’t speak up in interviews and such bc he’s kinda shy! BUT THIS DOES NOT I REPEAT DOES NOT MEAN HE IS NOT A MEME!! VERNON IS CONFIRMED THE MEMEIST MEMBER OF SVT ALONG W JOSHUA DON’T FIGHT ME. At this point he has even been dubbed “memesol” bc he makes the best reaction faces in recorded history dear god. He also finds literally everything so hilarious and definitely laughs the most whenever the other members do anything. But honestly he is a super cute, sweet pup who deserves a whole lotta love!! also kinda unrelated but one of my favorite posts of all time is dedicated to him i don’t even know…

Lee Chan aka Dino (MY SON) - I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START W THIS LIL BAB! Lee Chan is svt’s “small giant” maknae who is Michael Jackson’s #1 Fan™ and literal dancing machineeee! He has grown so much since debut i cannot believe and he is getting more confident MY BOY! Honestly his glow up should be some kinda world record bc oh my god it hasn’t even been two years?? AND HIS RAP HAS IMPROVED SO MUCH LIKE EVEN FROM JAM JAM TO OMG Vernon rapped most of jam jam but then in omg chan rapped all of it by himself!!!! ALSO EVEN FROM OMG TO HIGHLIGHT NOW HE TRANSITIONS FROM RAPPING STRAIGHT INTO SINGING WITH THE SAME BREATH I CANNOT BELIEVE!! But he is so creative and funny and full of energy!! He helps hoshi w most of the dances (i think he did most of the choreo for jam jam) and his stage name is dino bc when he steps on the stage he takes it over and becomes a big presence like a dinosaur which is so creative??? he also graduated high school a while back and then just too his entrance exams!! I’m so proud!! But he tries so hard to keep improving and he’s just so pure and has a complete heart of gold♥ He also aspires to be an mc and he works rlly hard to improve his skills on that front too! Chan is so incredibly talented, but again not a whole lot of people bias him which is crazy???? Bc he is so hansome and also my son?? also lowkey savage af But all the members love him a whole lot and he is their baby, even though he is now “an adult” but srry bun no one will probably ever stop calling him baby (esp jeonghan)

#asks #atshinee #svt #seungcheol #jeonghan #joshua #junhui #soonyoung #wonwoo #jihoon #seokmin #mingyu #minghao #seungkwan #hansol #chan #THIS IS TOO LONG

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n-ph · 7 years

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2k16

wow it’s been awhile since i’ve written one of these. i just realized that i totally didn’t write one last year. anyway i dont even know where to begin. 2016 has been an interesting year to say the least. i was rereading some of my old posts and i said omg a lot. the days just seem to go by in a blur nowadays, so i will try to recap 2016 as best as i can. i dont have a word to encompass this year though.

went to seattle in january. tried some really expensive sushi..twice..holy crap. the quality was a1 but man the bill was something else. seattle was nice though. definitely had a san francisco vibe to it, except for when you go to the waterside and look back at all the construction. i guess we kinda ran out of things to do bc on the last day we went to chinatown and the area seemed really dinky. also gained a ton of weight in seattle though u_u

in february we tried 5a5 steakhouse. and let me tell u. it is the best beef i have ever had. it is also the most money i have ever spent on a single meal. oh my god. i dont know if i'll ever be back, but i would like to, some day.

thus far, the semester was pretty okay. let's see..i had government accounting with a moody professor who would throw tantrums whenever no one participated. i also had business law with this old guy who was really lively and fun. i had strategic management with a bryan cranston look alike. the class was really interesting though and i learned a lot and it got me started on reading the economist lmao im so old. i miss having so much free time that came with school. 40 hour work weeks are not the life (even if i barely do anything at work).

went to LA during spring break. and at a good time too bc it was still the soft opening of harry potter world so the lines were v manageable. butterbeer was dope. the entire hogsmeade village just felt so real. had sooo much good food in LA omg. got to see some friends as well. had some of the best steak frites ever.

i cant believe i particpated in asu's talent show this year. much has changed in asu since i joined. it makes me wonder if i was behaving that way when i first joined. it seems a lot more clique-y and high school and drama filled but hey maybe it was that way when i was active but i just never noticed. had many fun lunches with my grand little but man there is a lot of drama in asu and im just glad i wasnt in any of it. i kinda miss the old asu days of staying out late to eat or do nothing at all but also i dont miss it bc i get enough sleep and im a lot more productive without asu lmao. finally ended things with tram for good. maybe things turned out the way they did for the better. the entire friendship was such a roller coaster. im glad its over.

the end of the semester rolled around!!! and i graduated!!!! :') attended my sisters graduation which was pretty boring bc high school students have such a narrow view of life (not to say that college students are any better). attended my own graduation. felt really fortunate to have jessa and anthony there. this one kid in my graudating class gave a speech about accomplishments...and he revealed the wrestling belt he was wearing underneath his graduation gown...and then he made the grads stand up and chant thank yous to the friends and family sitting behind us. it was so embarrassing and extra omg.

shortly after graduation i was on a plane headed back to the motherland. and let me tell u. i hated most of it. it was super hot and humid and my sister and i shared about 100 mosquito bites between the both of us. also. i know i shouldnt but..vietnam is so dirty. i know its not their fault that theyre a developing country but man there are exactly zero sanitation standards and i dont even know why we were there bc the water had recently been polluted so none of the fish were edible and my mom didnt trust the food stands to have clean food either. i guess i made some new friends and visited some cool places but at what cost??? also i think my entire fam got sick bc we slept with the ac on but either way, the meds i took made me lose my sense of smell i think and i couldnt taste or smell anything for two weeks. the ac air also dried out my nose and gave me a skin infection (which i will discuss later). during our trip to danang a small ferry got flipped on the big river and a bunch of ppl died and the government tried to cover it up bc bad publicity etc. they played it off as if only a few ppl died rather than most of the ppl on the boat. our tour guide in danang was in the know tho so he told us everything and w o w that really could've been us on that river bc it was a boat the left the dock about half an hour after our boat left. crazy.

after the long and arduous journey abroad i finally made it back home...and then headed to hawaii. hawaii was dope af. 10/10 would recommend, would go back. battled the tides when we went kayaking and sadly the tides won and i lost my hat but also almost lost my flip flops if it weren't for some kind random strangers who swam out to get my flip flops. we stayed on oahu and maui. hiked up a v steep mountain in oahu. lost my hat from kayaking. got caught in the rain when we went looking for a beach on the first day. had some of the best shaved ice ever. attended my first luau. fell asleep during the first part of a fire dancing show (bc the fire hadnt started yet). essentially pulled an all nighter to try oahu's famous bakery that opened at 3am. flew to maui but due to poor planning we arrived 4 hours earlier than check in lmao. the house we had in maui was so beautiful though omg. it was ocean side so we could hear the waves every night and it just felt so peaceful and tranquil to sit on the balcony in the mornings, just staring out at sea. in maui we went snorkeling. the last time i went snorkeling was like...10+ years ago...in cancun...and the water was freezing...and i also thought i was lost in the middle of the ocean on our way to the snorkeling location... but anyway! the snorkeling this time was so cool omg they had prescription swimming goggles so i could see EVERYTHING. they also provided lunch which was dope. it started raining on our way back to shore though lmao. the next day we drove all the way up the volcano in maui...to find that the top was foggy af and we couldnt see anything. the road up was pretty nasty bc super windy and 10000 ft elevation. it got really foggy after like 6000ft so we basically drove in all fog until the top which was still foggy but also like 20 degrees colder than the rest of maui. maui is super rural omg. we tried to find a place to eat after our trek but there were barely any food places in sight. we picked a random spot in the middle of nowhere and then decided to take the road to hana (which is on the opposite side of where we were staying, and was about 3 hrs away. and boy did we mess up. we took the alternate road there and it was scarier than going up the volcano bc 1) windy 2) small ass roads which were unpaved at certain points and 3) cliff hugging roads..i cant believe i made the drive there and back it was so terrifying omg. not sure if i would go back. at one point there was a big ass cow in the middle of the road. once we got to hana though, the hike was really nice despite the humidity. almost died crossing the river at the end to see the waterfall. all the rocks had big ants on them!!! how was i supposed to cross the river!!! we missed out on the wading pools though but we were so starving by that time. made the 3 hr drive back and everyone was dead. spent the last day on maui not doing much bc rainy and we were all so dead.

about two weeks after i got back from hawaii was training week in sac for my first big girl job. ngl but i felt super homesick that first night. idk why since i would be home by the end of the week anyway. probably just overwhelmed by how fast everything was happening. graduation and now transitioning into a full time job. scary stuff. but i did make a really good friend in sac so it didnt turn out so bad!!! training was pretty fun bc our presenter was pretty engaging. except when we went over the boring stuff and i was v close to falling asleep. did get to catch up with some of my sac friends though which was nice. went to the state fair for the first time as well. it was..exactly as expected but hotter lmao. my family went to san diego at this time bc my sister was going to comic con but i couldnt make it :(

got back from training and started my first big girl job. im not sure what i expected but it was easy but also hard? my first engagement i was only with one other senior and she was super nice and pretty and really good at lettering. i dont feel like i learned much? i only really did the tasks given to me but i feel like half the time i wasnt even sure what i was doing. i also hated the commute all the way back from walnut creek. the going there wasnt so bad bc i got a ride out to oakland but man it would take forever to get home. :'( my second engagement was just me and a partner and i feel like she expected me to know everything...but i didnt know anything...so i mostly sat around a lot??? esp bc she wasnt on site every day so i had zero supervision. :/ towards the end of the second engagement i got an email from the city saying that they were accepting me into their accounting position and i was like oh shit. i ended up taking the job, which gave me a week in between quitting the first job and starting the second, which i used to go back to LA lmao bc i had a season ticket to universal. actually ate at the three broomsticks this time. it was defs filling and i thought it was a good bang for buck. attempted to go to the walking dead tour..chickened out..twice. i probs would've died in there tbh. also went to disneyland!!!! that was lit. their macone-roni and cheese was da bomb. saw world of color for the first time except it was the 50th anniversary edition so it wasnt so great. bumped into the couple that was in jbieb's love yourself video. tried some new food places in LA and saw some old friends, again.

started my second big girl job. all my coworkers are super nice except the big boss is kind of crazy and anal. but we deal with it. my supervisor is so nice :'( work isnt so bad bc i dont do much lmao. the hardest part sometimes is just staying awake if im being honest. getting paid to do nothing is the life tho.

spent my birthday weekend in monterey. we were supposed to go atv-ing but ended up going wine tasting but also not really bc we liked the first wine so much we got a bottle of that to share. it was really cold that weekend surprisingly so we stayed in and then went to this spa place on a whim and it was definitely an interesting experience.

went as a rice bag for halloween and i think that was probably my greatest costume to date. except we ended up going to a party full of white ppl...and i was like the only asian there gdi

tagged along w my sister when she went to sd. got to see many friends!!! went clubbing as well and that was lit. took michelle clubbing for her 21st birthday, also lit. squadsgiving and christmas were super fun. got some supplies for bullet journaling so guess thatll be my new years resolution. but also to take more photos bc i didnt buy that camera for nothing.

okay so in conclusion. i did a lot of stuff this year. it feels like it was mostly all highs. or maybe i just block out the lows but im pretty sure there were way more highs than lows. 2016 was a great year tbh. oh yeah i also passed two of four parts of my cpa exam!!! woot. in 2016, i learned a lot...of accounting lmao. plus i ran my first 5k!!!!! oh yeah and i joined a gym and now im getting swole af. im not sure what my reflections are. i guess, if i were to compare 2k16 kim to 2k14 kim i've for sure come a long ways. i wasnt afraid to try new challenges and conquer them. i stepped out of my comfort zone multiple times, sometimes with the help of alcohol. i got my shit together and really focused in school (which got me a 4.0 during my last year of college). i also got my shit together and studied my ass off for the cpa (which is still ongoing i crey). i really wanna say this was probably one of my best years with everything i was able to do and everything i achieved. so here's to you, 2016, and may 2017 be even better!!!

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whatyousaiddotcom-blog · 7 years

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SOME CORRESPONDENCE OF SC

Correspondence between SC and JM (a member of the accountability panel), November 2014

SC 11/29/14 to JM

Dear JM,

it was nice to see you other other day at the demo....im not exactly sure how to start this email but our exchange keeps repeating on me...so i thought i would write to you... i was a bit irrked that you seemed surprised that I said I was feeling quite shit and when you asked me whats up etc

I'm starting to think you have no idea what the impact the bloomsbury ten stuff has had on me... i wanted to write to you so you had some type of idea...

as Im sure your aware everything sparked up again recently ( it actually sparked up (intensely) again a few weeks before K’s piece of writing but i wont go into that here ). and there is now a name and shame blog doxing me and the others and accusing us of various crimes.

I know you have not partaken in this and even tried to calm thing down on fb at one point.... but it doesnt help and things are really bad.

there are a BUNCH of people who read our intervention letter who have grossly and purposely falsified what we originally wrote - you know many of these people - ( ie NBa, RA-D, P, STA, etc many others ) and im sure you have seen this stuff circulating recently and over the last few years.

they accuse us of at least these things:

- victim blaming

-denying it happened

-calling her a liar

- asking for more evidence

- asking about her sexual history

-bullying and harassing her

-saying it was her fault.

yet anyone who read / reads the original letter and who has basic comprehension skills can clearly see that none of these things happened. these are projections onto what we wrote and not our words at all. obviously we cannot even defend ourselves publicly to refute these malicious claims without picking over detail and i think no one thinks it would be appropriate or right to do this as both the first email and our response have details of …. This has left space for others to twist and turn and lie about what we originally wrote.

Im not saying you should agree with what we wrote or our intervention but seriously these lies about what happened are more than malicious and completely untrue. equally as for the claims that we were were hiding behind anonymity - we went to BOTH follow up meetings after we wrote the letter and everyone knew who we were - we also agreed to go to a third meeting but that never happened .... the only reason people have my name now is because i went to a meeting and made myself known like everyone else. i hardly think this is hiding ...

---

i want you to understand the effect this has had on me not just in the last month or so but over the last few years as well.

firstly i had so much self doubt to the point that i felt that i WAS a victim blaming rape apologist and that what we had written was of that effect. I had to read and re read what we wrote over a couple of hundred times ( and that is not an exaggeration ) - i have read it over and over to try and understand peoples accusations...finally in desperation I showed it privately to (redacted) who were not part of writing the original statement - from (redacted) to (redacted) - i showed it to very smart and honest people- EVERYBODY was fucking shocked at the way what we wrote had been interpreted. It is only with the most decontextualised and ungenerous reading of about one line that you could move to a victim blaming reading...... this response / projection is complete gas lighting and really hurtful and dangerous. ( esp for me as i have pretty serious mental health issues)

over the last weeks, basically after K wrote her piece, i repeatedly felt suicidal and got very very ill... al had to take time off to stay with me and look after me. I couldnt walk i couldnt eat and i couldnt sleep. i was completely haunted by the trial by social media ( i actually still am). and the very malicious smears against me and the others. I basically had a complete breakdown and had to be put in touch with a crisis mental health team and was very close to hospitalization.... and although i am on the mend now i am very far from being well and am dosed up to the eyeballs on meds and still have very low days. this has had an extreme impact on me.

Im not sure if you know this but i lost my father at the beginning on this year.... its really been the year from hell. I was just starting to recover from his death and then this stuff comes up and was the final straw and knocked me sideways...

many people of twiiter who tweet about this like its a fucking sport know not only that i lost my dad this year but that i have stress triggered mental health problems... this doesnt seem to stop them from massively false and malicious tweets. I have had PERSONAL abuse from R and there are a lot of men who have taken a delight in taking a stand against me ( victim blaming rape appologist ) and think its fine to stick my name on a blog and spread lies about me ( obviously i deserve it).....

to get proof of who was saying what I literally had to witness my own online abuse in real time as a live twitter feed - i had to screen grab the lot before people could deny or delete what they were saying or block me - please try to imagine what its like to photograph your own abuse as spectacle on twitter. ....

anyway i have proof of a lot of what and who has been saying what now...

----

to be honest im not even telling you the half of what has gone on , on the impact this has had on me and others and of how upset i am by the sheer dishonesty, cruelty and sadistic abuse that has happened. ontop of that no one says anything and people like RA-D, M and NBa and P go on as if nothing has happened.

---

i know you havent joined in in any of this and you didnt ask for it to happen. I have to be honest with you though - neither you , JB, SB, or MC [the accountability panel] have ever said anything and this really hurts. you were all part of the original group who wrote the letter and tried to sort things out.... no one has said anything and it has spiralled to the point that it has.... you all have been able to walk away.... it was very hard to have you bounce up to me at the demo and be surprised that i was not ok or ask why i was not ok.....

i am basically known on twitter as a rape appologist for things i haven’t done and haven’t said. have another look at what was written - we never disputed what [REDACTED] said once - we criticised the process as we said we didn’t think things were being dealt with in a serious or appropriate way - we NEVER disputed what she said or said it was her fault and we always said that it needed to be dealt with... its written in the statement which im sure you still have..

i dont really know why im writing this... i know you disagree with what we wrote - i disagree with what was originally written - but never did i think you were coming from a bad place - i know you were trying to do the right thing.... i feel like people assumed the very very worst of me and others and that it is grossly ungenerous and now is dishonest and cruel.

i dont know what to say really - im still not ok about any of this and now every time i go on social media or to a demo I must wonder if i must see people like RA-D. NBa etc acting like nothing bad has happened, acting like they are not abusive and dishonest and that there will be no repercussion for how they have treated me and others.

— ( screen grabs sent including death threat screen grab)

i have plenty more screen grabs that just a very very small selection..

(redacted)

if you think about it " pls remind me who im missing out"

he purposely left my name out ( he knew i was part of b10 ) then asked people to remind him of my name in the separate next tweet ... please run that around in your head and think about what that means and why he did that... he takes a massive pleasure in being purposely abusive to me personally... its a fucking sport to him..... and no body said anything.

———

sorry to keep emailing - only to say i probably have left my flat less than 15 times in the past two months / two and half months since this has kicked off.... im basically non functional and i spent about a month uncontrollably weeping for most of the time i was awake... quite literally - u can ask anyone from a to DG or MH to the crisis team or my dr - who took it in turns looking after me during the worst parts of it.

that i have to put up with abusive men like RA-D or women like NBa and P ( because i deserve it for being a rape apologist ) is beyond a joke.

you know very little about my life and nor does anyone else - i have NOT had an easy life , the statistical chances of me being relatively sane , functional and with a good post grad education are much less than 1 percent.

and now i have to put up with a bunch of very well educated privileged student activists who I know to have high comprehension and reading skills fucking lying about what i/others have written and done is a fucking joke.

and that they purport to do this in the name of countering gendered structural violence is a fucking disgrace.

JM 11/29/14 to SC

Hey S,

I had no idea it had gotten this bad and that it was ongoing.

DG mentioned some of this to me a few weeks ago but but then I had only seen a small amount of the backlash on M's facebook wall, which is what I responded to. It seemed like it had flared up around K's post but was beginning to die down. I don't use twitter that much, partly because of the irritating dogmatism and pernicious attitudes it seems to produce (case in point), so I hadn't seen any of the stuff on there. I either don't follow, don't know, or have stopped following the people you mentioned and have generally distanced myself from a lot of the left-crowd in the past year for a number of reasons - but partly because I find the language and mentality which seems to have developed so off-putting that I no longer feel a part of the same discourse - the result is that I'm perhaps more out of the loop than you were aware.

Whatever type of anarchism it is that justifies this kind of behaviour I don't want any part of, and can't think of anything more willfully destructive than posting people's names on the internet or threatening people with violence. I can understand why [REDACTED] is angry about what happened but I can't for the life of me understand how this will help anything beyond a misplaced desire for arbitrary retribution.

You know my feelings about what was written, but as far as I'm concerned it is in the past. I'm sure that if we could go back in time everybody would have gone about things differently on all sides. What matters to me is where people's heart is - I have no doubt whatsoever that people like yourself and MH are good people with the best intentions. I wouldn't maintain the fondness I hold for both of you if I didn't. JBR and some of the others I'm less sure about - there are some good parts to him, but I don't trust him enough to be as close as I once was; being polemic or 'critical' often seems more important to him than generosity of spirit, and he can consequently be quite nasty to people with very little reason. He is far better at sowing division than anything else. I think RB is a good man but sometimes lets his friendship with JB cloud his judgement, as it did mine at points in the past. I certainly don't harbour ill will towards him, even if I felt initially hurt by him, and I'm sad we're not as close to each other because of all this stuff - I feel like I lost an important friend. I haven't come across RL in the past few years but I'd like to hope we'd be able to clear the air one day if we did cross paths. I've never had any reason to doubt she's a lovely person who got caught up in an extremely difficult situation and any hostility she expressed was an understandable product of that.

As for now, I don't think anybody has any answers to this stuff and if we're going to come up with anything of meaning or value it will require thinking through the kind of criticisms K made in her post, many of which are inarguable. At the same time we can't just ignore issues when they arise for the sake of convenience. Unfortunately the political climate seems completely anathema to learning anything productive from what has happened and looks to bully people (how much easier) on social media instead - hence my increasing sense of frustration with the 'scene' and my desire to become more distant from it.

I haven't been staying silent because I'm okay with what's happening - I simply haven't encountered it except on M’s facebook wall, where I intervened accordingly. If this starts to happen again send me a message and I will offer whatever weight I have as someone who criticised the original statement. I'm wary of putting something up out of the blue lest it simply stir the whole thing up again, but if others are doing that anyway let me know.

I hope you're doing okay. if you want to have a drink and chat about any of this or life generally just drop me a line.

J x

Correspondence between SC and JM (a member of the accountability panel), April 2015

to JM

and are any other accountability group members coming to the meeting?

JM 4/26/15 to sc

Yep that's fine for me - as to the others I don't know, I prodded them the other week but no one replied. I think I'm right in saying that no one was opposed to talking on principle but that there were reservations about it being a larger meeting, what the objective was, how it might be framed etc. If we're going with the 6th then I'll send a message and see what they say.

SC 4/26/15 to JM

no one is going to frame anything .i have always been open with you about my thoughts on this...i think its better for all of us that other people, who are wise and have good politics esp gender politics... are there to advise us all.... i would like people to stop abusing me for stuff i havent done, written , said thought, think etc.. i dont think its a big ask for the group to come considering they were at the heart of the process. i know none of them have been abusive towards me... however they were intitated a process that has become way out of control...i think people need to face up to what has and is happening in an honest way. as i have said many times i have evidence of people smearing me and abuseing me online. there is a very male core to alot of this abuse. i need to make this stop. my endurance for this has run out and its making me exreamly ill. please communicate to the the seriousness of this situation.

and apart from myself i ( unlike all the liars say) worry a great deal about [REDACTED]..I am totally unable to approach her to try and get aid with resolution for her, which she clearly needs.

basically JM i am not despite what many people write about me online , some type of evil bastard and neither is anyone else. the way we have been and are being treated is unjustifiable and it needs to stop, be confronted and people need to take responsibilty for their actions. i am sick of being hounded online and being villified to a large invisible audience. i am sick of people justifying their abuse cos they think i deserve it. - that actually is victim blaming and it needs to stop.

SC 4/26/15 to JM

i have a folder with 6 months worth of abuse - which is about 300 tweets, thats is just a tiny tiny percentage of what has been going on. within this folder i have a sub folder of people joking about putting me in a black bin liner, stabbing me, glassing me and saying that i should be killed. when are people going to wake up?? i am a real person, this has a real imapct on me. i suffer real mental health issues, which are classed as a severe disability. do u understand that if i have a sever breakdown i have zero garentee of " coming out" of a psycotic state? have you any idea what it is like to live with that thought?

how can i get this into peoples heads here??? i have STRESS TRIGGERED PSYCOSIS. - i cant really understand how this cannot at least move people to take some kind of action? or is it that they think that cos i am a " victim blamer" ( which i am not ) that i should just suffer the abuse that i am receiving?

do they need doctors notes? i have access to 18 years worth. i am not making my health problems up....

SC 4/26/15 to JM

do u realise that this is not going to go away? i cant live like this.

they cant justify their abuse. because thats what it is.

SC 4/26/15 to JM

i hope that all of you in the accountability group will stop not see this as an attack on you all and start to face up to what is actually going on here. i incuded people like np, tz and dg on the list becuase i am hopeing that you might talk with them and listen to them about this, you all clearly have zero respect for me and dont believe me.. but myabe you will listen to them? some other perspectives?

JM 4/27/15 to SC

I don't think I've given you any reason to feel I have zero respect for you, Sophie, or the others. I'm coming to the meeting - I'm just relating as best I can what other people feel. I understand their caution, and I can't force them to do anything. I will say that I worry about seeing me or the others as the solution to this - ultimately it isn't coming from us, and none of us share personal relationships or even a political outlook any more with the people involved. To me this is exactly the problem with abandoning the notion of being part of a community with obligations to each other, and what happens if there's no process in place that can bring closure to a problem - which takes us back to the original disagreements I suppose. This was an issue whether anyone wanted to address it or not.

SC 4/27/15 to JM

No one expects any forcing. Some of those in the accountability group are pretty close to some extremely abuseive people. I find it abhorrent. Maybe JB MC Sb etc might well talk to them off social media? I don't know really. It seems odd that a group of people who used to be my friends and who profess to want to deal with gendered violence just shrug their shoulders and say this is a consequence of what u wrote. Or something similar. I have pointed out a number of times how what we wrote has been undeniably and maliciously distorted - and then this distortion used as a pretext for abuse. I m not the only person who think this, I have shown the text to NP, MV, TZ, DG and other people I trust and asked them to read it for the things that we all have been accused of, (redacted) and said that I would apologies if it had blamed her, I lost complete trust in my own capacity to have faith in my own motivations and actions. That is actually gas lighting. Ikon wits not coming from u ( well I actually have at least one horrible grab from SB) but a lot of it is coming fro. People who were on that list or went to the meetings. Plenty people are making excuses for all this is more than shocking... It's like some bastard of Lord of the flies and the Salam witch trails on acid. I have men beating up on me online for things they know I haven't said. And even if I had said them it would still be unjustifiable.

SC 4/27/15 to JM

JM I'm sorry I'm a 35 year old working class woman with severe mental health problems. I was (redacted) and had (redacted). Before I went to university, at 25 my life was spent in (redacted) institutions and women's (redacted). Against statistical odds of probably less than one percent I have a post grad and had hoped to do a PhD. My life was for the first time on 30 years starting to settle. This is ruining me. It's making me ill. I have these disgusting middle class pricks hounding me online for sport and cred. I'm not MH and I'm not JBR and this b10 stuff does not play out in an equal way for us all. For me it is extreeamly traumatic due to who I am and the life that I have lived. As I told you it's making me ill, I am extreeamly lucky I haven't ended up in hospital. Please take time to get educate yourself about schizo effective effective disorder and its relationship to stress.

I hope that the other accountability group people will come to the meeting and stop being complicit and cowardly.

SC 4/27/15 to JM

I am hoping for some type of collective process or intervention. If this doesn't happen I am forced to take matters into my own hands alone to stop people abuseing me.

JM 4/27/15 to SC

I think it's best I just relate the things you're saying to me directly to the others because, as I've said, I'm coming to the meeting.

Are you alright with that, and if so, is there anything from this thread you'd want me not to pass on?

JM 4/27/15 to SC

to be clear I mean just c/ping the above so they can hear it themselves and decide accordingly. I don't think I can be any more use as a go-between now

SC 4/27/15 to JM

If you think it will help I suppose you should. Please do not copy sections but the whole exchange. I feel angry that I am I a position where I must disclose the shit life I have lived. And which still makes me feel a great deal of shame. At least maybe I won't have to go over it in A meeting publicly.

If I find that anyone had forwarded my email exchange beyond people who were in the accountability group I will be more than angry. Equally if it is subject to gossip or distortion on or off social media and I shall be more than upsset.

Thanks for trying to help.

Correspondence between SC and ZB (who had acted as a representative of [REDACTED] during the accountability meetings), October 2014

HI ZB,

I am writing to you as I have been told by people that we have in common and that i trust that you are solid feminist with good politics. I will try to keep this brief. i am not sure how much you are aware of what has been going on recently and for years. I do not have the energy to go over all of it.

The situation cannot go on as it is. I am getting very ill, I have sever stress triggered schizoaffective disorder. I have lost my father this year too. I have comrades and my partner caring for me, so don't worry about that.

I am worried about [REDACTED]. ( not [person with same initials] the other one )

here are some of her tweets, i have a million more, this is a random selection. I have seen worse.

— ( screen grabs of [REDACTED] and other actors)

there are a lot of lies being peddled here. Of course i would be extremely angry too i if i thought anyone had denied my suffering and my experience, victim blamed and asked me to evidence it. ( actually the position that i am in now )

there are a network of actors here, between me and you and her, who have deliberately falsified what we originally wrote and did and have done since. I think they do this to make a political point and to normalize a certain political practice. They can all read well. Im sure a;lot of them have read the original text that was written ( i have attached it here along with my own writing ).

The ONLY reason myself and others have not defended ourselves in a public way is because we am worried about [REDACTED] safety and sanity . I cannot be a punch bag for these people. they are not her friends/ comrades either and not helping her at all. I feel she needs support but i cannot approach her.

There are a host of people getting a lot of pleasure out of all of this. I have screen grabs of the lot. in amongst them hide some very abusive men. I have hard evidence of men abusing me on twitter and using [REDACTED]’s trauma as an excuse to do so. there are a bunch of women too who have played a very big part in escalating this to the situation as it currently manifests. I have had to witness all abuse play out as a spectacle on twitter. I have ( had to ) screen grabbed the lot.

I am not asking help with anything other than a good support network for her. I feel that she is surrounded by some very dubious people, with bad politics and ethics. People who call themselves feminists and communists, who are so far away from that its unreal.

I am sorry to pull you into this but i am worried that lives are at risk. i know you have just had a baby ( congratulations) and i imagine you are time short and tired. If you can think of any thing that might help please let me know.

Solidarity,

ZB 10/13/14 To SC

Hi S. I will use the form on the tumblr to ask for it to be taken down. I don't know who is running it, I was only aware of it after A told me about it yesterday. I have no reason to think that whoever is behind it will listen to me but I will message them.

I have not seen [REDACTED] for almost a year, nor am I able to spend much time on anything political at present as I'm heavily pregnant. Beyond messaging the blog post there isn't anything else I can do at present.

SC 10/13/14 to ZB

Ok thanks for writting back. I worry for [REDACTED] I really do . Her identity seems very invested in all of this persecution and lies. I don't know how aware she really is in all of this or how much she has been gas lit by others. I am sure you can read and I sure you can see that we never blamed her nor ignored or denied that it happened or her trauma. We disagreed and intervened in all of it that is for sure - we disagreed with how the process was manifesting. but none of us have ever bullied her denied that it happened or asked her for more proof or any of those vicious claims that are currently circulating .

Anyway thanks for your solidarity and for writing to the blog. I wish you luck with your pregnancy. X

Sent with one hand

4. Correspondence with an email list including JM from accountability panel, March 2015. This correspondence took place around DG’s banning from Goldsmiths Occupation. DG was not part of B10.

SC to List

sorry but this is not going away.. - an argument about safer spaces - will NOT sort this out!

this is too much bs, i need some support i want to confront this its a pack of fucking lies i am sick to my teeth of this.. i want to call it...it absolutely needs to stop and be put right.

J M - YOU WERE IN THE ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP WHICH HAS BEEN COMPLETELY QUIET.!!!.... you need to meet with me and others and this needs to stop! im AM SICK of people spreading lies about me and others and abusing ME AND MY COMRADES on the web for things that were not said and done! I do not give 2 fucks about what any1 thinks the b10's intentions were.... i know what we wrote and what was said in the meetings after.. i also have a ton of screen grabs about all the malicious lies been spread about us...

i have cc'd Ad. into this who has been purged from SF. i hope he will help us sort this out. MB and U and J all vouch for him.

i CANNOT HANDLE THIS ANYMORE. IT NEEEDS TO BE PUT TO REST!

MB 3/28/15 to SC, kD, AL, B, AS, D, CB, DG, JM, JBR, AP, Ad.

Fucking right!

Apparently people have walked out of the occupation due to this, it wasn't democratically agreed upon at all. the occupation statement and the people behind it are fucking idiots.

JM [accountability panel] 3/28/15 to SC, kD, AL, B, AS, D, CB, DG, JM, JBR, AP, Ad.

Oh for fucks sake.

Alright, I've replied with this for now.

"I don't know where you have got your information from but as someone who was involved in trying to address the situation you're referring to I want to make it absolutely clear that DG had nothing to do with the B10 statement, and was nothing but helpful to me and others throughout the process. I can't see how suggestions to the contrary can be justified. Banning him or anyone else from giving talks runs counter to everything that was trying to be achieved at that time. For people with no knowledge of what you're referring to it also reads like an extremely serious implication about DG. Please don't put out statements like this without contacting people who actually know about the circumstances, and respect the spirit of their intentions. Get in touch with me or anyone else who was involved if you want to talk about this more, but I strongly suggest you remove this statement and cease implying falsehoods about DG, whether you want him to speak at Goldsmiths or not."

SC - I can only respond to what I see, and have done so when directed to obvious bullshit like this.

AP 3/28/15 to SC, kD, AL, B, AS, D, CB, DG, JM, JBR, AP, Ad.

Authoring the thing 'Bloomsbury 10' was so ridiculously stupid. It just sounds so ominous for anyone who hasn't a clue what this is about. I think those involved who havent come forward and defended themselves in writing should probably reconsider as this obviously isnt going away.

SC 3/28/15 to kD, AL, B, AS, D, CB, DG, JM, JBR, AP, Ad. AK

All, JM,

I really do appreciate that you have made a clarification about DG.. however this for me does not cut it at all as it does NOT address the false claim against b10.

to go over this again, the claims are based on the letter that we wrote to the email list, which i attach again, with my underlined parts.

the claims that are made against us that i have screen grabs of, are :

- we victimed blamed and are rape appologists

- that we harrassed [REDACTED] and made her life hell in the ensuing years

- that we hid under a cloak of anonimity - ( WE WENT TO 2 FOLLOW UP MEETINGS in the following week - making it obvious who we were and what we wrote)

- that was said she was lying / making it up / said it was her fault

PLEASE READ WHAT WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN ON THE STATEMENT!!!!!! IT IS ATTACHED!!!!!

to make this really clear pls read what i wrote in another p[rivate email to a member of sf earlier this month in regards to this letter:

----

I am prepared to take responsibility and argue over the contents of a letter i help write, discuss what it means, and the impact of it and its context... i am not prepared to accept falsifications of what was written, nor projections onto it by others of any inherent meaning or imagined bad motivation or intention.......

for example, i think a reading that is used to justify a lot of the victim blaming label attached to me ( and others ) in relation to the letter ( which after all started all this off more or less) logically works like this:

the first move is to take a single paragraph out of the context of the whole document ( i mean the paragraph that mentions the accountability panels omission of the discussion of knife play - i think this section is what cause most but not all of the accusations of rape apologia and victim blaming etc)

the second move is then to do two things with the de-contextualized paragraph:

1) make it stand it and negate every other written word on the b10 letter

2) and importantly then make the following argument:

something like ".. any mention of the context of the knife is TANTAMOUNT TO VICTIM BLAMING...." ... the claim is, the context of the knife is both irrelevant and at the same time any mention of it would only (be to) discredit her account...

er hello???? why do THEY think it discredits her account... (this is not what we ever said..we did however write that we fully acknowledge her account, this it needed serious responses which had already started, wanted dialogue and a different way of dealing with / you can read those sections i have highlighted them).. ..... this last move.. ( the context is discrediting) is their ( very troubling) projection onto what was intended, meant written, etc etc

im sure you see my point.

please think about the logic of that move....it is very odd and dubious....

-----

the accountability panel were criticised. NOT [REDACTED]!

when is this going to be put to rest..... THE ACCOUNTABILITY PANEL have said NOTHING.. for 3 years!!!!!! THIS IS TOTALLY UNFAIR.

you and others may disagree with me / b10 questioning and disrupting the process. BUT NOT BY FALSIFYING WHAT WAS WRITTEN>

I have had to put up with 3 YEARS of gaslighting me, having "anarchist" men abusing me personally, of being doxed online. I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE. THIS HAS TO STOP> THIS IS NOT A SAVE DG’s REP CAMPAIGN>

i want a meeting with you JM JB MCe and SB and TJ [all the members of the original accountability panel] and you were ALL in the process and have said NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF THE FUCKING LIES AND ABUSE BEING LEVELED AT ME AND OTHERS.

i am sick of this its BULLSHIT.

i spent 4 years of my fucking life in a (redacted)l. i have a locked and hidden social media account FOR A REASON. I WANT THIS SORTED OUT AND THE TUMBLR DOWN.

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