#im begging you guys to have some nuance

[wi55iams]

Seeing this drama with Carlos and Oscar as my two fave drivers is hilarious. Like why are y'all so turnt omg it was a racing incident if you don't like drivers trying to race, making a mistake, and complaining about it in interviews you're watching the wrong sport sorry

[hannieehaee]

i dont know if u accept smut reqs but if u don’t please ignore my ask and i’m so sorry for overstepping!!

but could i please req a hard dom!seungkwan who teaches u a lesson at home after u couldn’t stop whining and begging for him at dinner with ur friends?

18+ / mdi

content: dom!seungkwan, afab reader, teasing, smut, oral (m receiving), letc.

wc: 1399

a/n: im so sorry i took so long to finish this!!! ive been trying to make time for all reqs so its taking a while to get them all out T-T anyways thank u for requesting and i hope u enjoy!!

masterlist

it was common for seungkwan to bring you along whenever he had dinner with the members. it had kind of become a tradition to have dinner together at least once a month, with the members' respective significant others tagging along.

you had been part of the crew for a while, having been dating seungkwan for an extended period of time by now. you were practically just another friend to the members at this point, making all of you quite comfortable with one another.

maybe too comfortable.

seungkwan always thought of you as a well-behaved girl. not even in a dirty way or anything. he just knew you were never the type to act out in public or to purposely become a nuance to him. yes, you would banter with him sometimes, but it was always in good faith and never really went anywhere. sure, you'd often tease him in the bedroom and take advantage of your effect on him time after time, but this always remained behind closed doors.

which was why seungkwan was quite shocked at the way in which you had suddenly decided to behave.

you weren't being too obvious about it, keeping your brattiness between you and himself. it started with a few touches far too high on his thigh, followed by raunchy comments hidden behind a cough. then it evolved into lustful eyes staring down on his own whenever no one was looking.

it even manifested itself into you cornering him on your way to the bathroom as he came back from a bathroom break himself.

you'd planted a steamy kiss on his lips and felt him up in a very unseemly way before letting him know you 'wanted his cock so fucking bad' and making your merry way to the bathroom as he walked back to the table completely flustered. it then (unsurprisingly) proceeded into a text message received by seungkwan a few moments later, a message containing your bare breasts and a look in your eye that he only ever saw between the sheets. except you weren't between his sheets. you were at the restaurant's bathroom, making a fool of him with a mere picture.

that was more or less where seungkwan felt it'd be appropriate to put his foot down. he was never good at resisting you, and he knew that adding the extra layer of being surrounded by his members would only make him break sooner or later. so he decided to throw you a curveball and storm after you in the bathroom, coughing out an excuse of 'forgot my wallet in the restroom' to the other guys before sneaking his way into the hallway leading to the restroom. that's where he found you making your way back to the table before wordlessly dragging you to one of the spacious gender neutral stalls and locking the door.

immediately pushing you up against the wall, he practically growled out his next words.

"you wanted me to embarrass myself out there, huh? knowing i dont know how to act any time you tease me," he assessed, knowing he was right by your shocked expression.

you clearly were expecting him to crumble and make up some weak excuse in order to take you home as you smirked next to him, giving the members clear indication of who begged for who in the relationship. but he decided to turn things on you and give you a taste of your own medicine, maybe show you what it was like to get on your knees for your beloved.

"no, i-"

"did i say you could speak? good girls stay quiet til i tell them do speak. do you understand?", his hands went to run up and down your body, making a game plan of how he was going to take you.

"y-yes."

"good girl. now ..."

his eyed drifted down to your cleavage, reminding him of the dirty picture you had sent him earlier.

without a second thought, his hands grabbed onto your cleavage and forcefully pulled it down, ripping a bit at the arms of your dress before diving right to your tits, mouth open and willing.

"k-kwannie, what are you-"

he ignored your gasp, simply adding more force to the suckling of your breasts, using his arms to push up your hips against his own as he began to grind against you. his groans and your gasps were the only thing that could be heard in the empty restroom.

after getting his fill of your tits in his mouth, he became too frustrated by the mere friction he felt at the grinding of your hips, opting instead to guide you into a kneeling position in front of him.

"you're gonna be a good girl and take care of the problem you caused, right, baby?", he looked down at you with indescribable lust in his gaze.

"yes, kwannie ... want it in my mouth so bad," you begged, licking at him through his pants while you gave him the prettiest eyes he'd ever seen.

in any other occasion, this would've had him on his knees, begging for your mouth around his dick and crying as he felt the barest touch, but today he had to prove a point.

"stop messing around and get my cock out. don't make me repeat myself," he didn't recognize himself as he ordered you around, but he liked the shudder he saw go through you at his demanding tone.

without complaint, you hurriedly undid his pants and brought his boxers down, immediately getting to work as you licked and kissed at his tip.

he threw his head back at your teasing, unable to reprimand you for it. it just felt so fucking good.

luckily for both you and him, this didn't last long. before even realizing it, you were already gagging on as much of his cock as you could get into your mouth, looking up at him with furrowed brows as you wordlessly begged him. he was confused as to what you were begging for at first, only realizing what you meant when you brought his hands behind your head, slightly making him push your head forward and- oh.

was this what you wanted? was this what you'd been after all along?

you wanted him to take control and use you for his pleasure. fuck.

he almost came at the realization, until realizing that he'd much rather cum after fucking your mouth until you cried.

he began pistoling his hips against your mouth, moaning as you let yourself become his pretty fleshlight while he groaned at both the sight and feeling. maybe you weren't a bad behaved girl after all. maybe all you wanted was him to take his frustrations out on you and use you like the pretty doll you were.

or at least he hoped this was the case, because he was already addicted.

"pretty thing ... oh, fuck. such a pretty thing for me to use, aren't you? gonna cum in your mouth, okay? gonna fill you up and you're gonna swallow it all for me, yeah?", he mumbled between moans, knowing his end would come faster than expected.

and he was right. his orgasm took over just moments later, with his hands dragging your head up and down his cock while his hips thrust into your awaiting mouth. he completely lost himself as his orgasm washed over him, making him lose all sense of his surroundings and almost disregard your gagging as he filled your mouth.

he pulled away moments after, crying out in painful pleasure when you still managed to suckle on his sensitive tip as he pulled himself out of your mouth.

he let himself fall down against the wall, now sitting at your level as he tried to catch his breath.

"i hate you," he groaned between breaths.

"yeah. i believe that. you just fucked my mouth like you wanted me dead," you chuckled as you also attempted to regulate your breathing.

"wasn't that what you wanted?", he quirked an eyebrow at you.

"maybe."

"you menace," he chuckled despite his words.

"you like it," you got close enough to him to land a sweet peck on his lips.

"i wont when we have to go out there and explain what we were doing this whole time."

"i got my fill of cock, nothing else matters."

he'd been completely wrong. you were absolutely not a well-behaved girl.

[eldrith]

omg heyyyyy guys!!! <3 tldr for those of you who aren't the stupid cunt still spewing shit in inboxes: thanks for being kind & supportive and fucking normal. appreciate you beyond words, genuinely. my inbox is always open to you.

but to whom it may concern,

i am so fucking serious when i say that you, anon, need to grow up and start talking to real life humans for once in your life.

this isn't a joke. i'm so so so fucking embarrassed for this imbecile who stalks mutuals and any writer or account with decency in this fandom. you're so embarrassing. you are so clearly out of touch, there is something so clearly wrong in your tiny little pebble brain. it's a miracle you can even type words onto a screen because you're so inconceivably obtuse. (btw, you may need to reel in the extent of your lexicon - if you know what that is - for some of the things im about to say)

not only are you so impossibly, functionally incapable when it comes to media literacy - sorry, literacy at all - but you actively seek out to make incorrect points and its so troublesome... you need to learn context, subtext, implicit bias, nuance - honestly, grab a dictionary and look up what the term 'critical thinking' means too. you are SEVERELY lacking. you are deficient in communication and even worse with inference. i could laugh, and i have before.

despite the fact that this is all fictional - the truth is that we are all just people on here who enjoy writing or maybe enjoy a character from a fictional show that isn't even about romance in the first place.

anyways, i digress: the truth is that every single one of my friends on here has gotten this person's weird fucking obsessive comments in their inbox and as pathetic as this person is, i will say this directly to them: you treat writers or other blogs like some sort of sad therapy and you're being embarrassing.

i'm embarrassed when i see the cringey, out of touch shit you say. you act like a minor. i genuinely think you are one. you act like someone who has never had a personal relationship, let alone conversation. i don't think you've had an emotional connection ever. you act like a fucking baby who just crawled out of a sewer to see light for the first time in your life. it's so fucking sad. i would never care enough to say i feel bad for you, but i feel bad for anyone who has ever interacted with you, myself included.

it's so astounding to have to say this, but: WRITERS AND BLOGGERS ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. WE ARE NOT A HOTLINE FOR YOU. here, you’re so stupid you probably didn’t catch that: WE ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. YOU ARE BEING A FUCKING CHILD.

i beg you - i implore you to fucking block me, to block all of my mutuals who you come to whining in their inboxes, because NONE OF US FUCKING CARE what you have to say. pick up a book. talk to a man irl. ask someone how their day is and try to use empathy for once.

anyways, i love every single person on here who takes the time to be kind, or funny, or care. i love all my writers, all of my friends on here, moots or not - sorry to say this but im tired of pretending that i'm nice to childish pathetic cunts. lol

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

saw ur vents abt dungeon meishi and while I haven’t read the series yet or watched the anime I have seen bits and pieces and already saw the blowup scene where Toshiro attacks Laois and like. even I with zero context didn’t totally hate him. It sucks majorly that it had to happen but like. Toshiro is going through his own shit and plenty of other characters ALSO don’t like Laois! I think people just see that scene and project the amount of times that’s happened to them with someone in real life, which like. I get it. I’m autistic and reading that scene hit like a gut punch bc it was something I had experienced directly in real life: trying to be friends with someone, thinking you are friends, only for them to reveal one day that they couldn’t stand you and hated your guts from day one. You wonder why the fuck they pretended and let you hurt even worse than outright initial rejection. You wonder why they’d put themselves through enduring you. It makes you feel like you can’t trust anyone, makes you feel like utter shit. I 100% get why it bothers people. But you can’t project real life people you experienced onto this character that does not align at all except for this one moment. Also knowing about the author, she probably put that in on purpose as commentary for how autistics in Japan generally have to go through shit like this bc of the way their social culture is. She’s made plenty of autistic commentaries before, I doubt she stuck that scene in there for no good reason. The fact that Toshiro kept quiet and didn’t say anything until he couldn’t take it anymore is VERY indicative to me of the ways Japan’s typical social system is a struggle on all sides. Not to say these are problems unique to Japan, but the nuance needs to be understood. Toshiro isn’t being a dick just for the sake of it. I want to read it sometime so I can better understand the guy, but I don’t want to hate him based on one scene where he was an asshole. Laois is an asshole plenty of times himself, being very overtly written as autistic doesn’t absolve him from the responsibilities of being an adult.

TLDR: People tend to infantilize Laois and demonize Toshiro, which comes down to the prejudices preconceived for both of them: people see Laois, as an autistic man, as an innocent sweet guy who needs to be protected. They see Toshiro, as an Asian man, as someone who should be “polite and honorable” or whatever and are appalled when he acts like a fallible human being and not some appropriation of a fictional romanticized samurai. I understand feeling betrayed and angry seeing a character be a genuine asshole about something (social expectation does not completely absolve Toshiro of his own antagonizations however much of a reason he had) but when it’s so damn one sided, and especially in a series where almost NO one is without complete asshole qualities that round them out, I find it kind of gross that people hate on him for that. Anyway. Just wanted to send a message of support and understanding. Hopefully after I read more I can offer more analysis to corroborate with you on.

100% CORRECT thank you anon

i also understand the people who are sympathizing with laios bc that scene is very easy to relate to for many autistic or otherwise neurodivergent people (i also got a cold sweat when i was watching it bc. like. having someone you thought was a friend straight up tell you there are parts of your behavior that they can't stand is one of the worst things to experience of all time, ESPECIALLY if you were only showing that behavior around them bc you thought they were your friend and you trusted them) but it's so frustrating seeing so many people have such shallow opinions about toshiro bc of it. im on hands and knees begging people to consider the characters in three dimensions and/or develop better reading comprehension because like!! toshiro's official meeting with laios's new group literally leads with 'oh his name is actually toshiro and we never knew bc our leader had a misunderstanding and microaggressed him and he was too polite to correct him' laios is not an innocent party here!! he is not an innocent uwu autistic baby he's a grown adult man with responsibilities, in that whole time he was partied with toshiro he never learned his real name!! plus using toshiro's crush on falin as a reason to hate him, falin's adolescence was spent in a school and a social setting where she was expected to mask + her being a girl also means she is expected to mask by default -> she is better at masking than laios so why are people saying that toshiro hates laios for the same traits in falin bc clearly not?? also saw one person saying 'he only likes falin because she's hot' NO HE DOES NOT HE WOULD NOT RISK HIS LIFE HEALTH AND RETAINERS IN A DUNGEON ON A FOREIGN CONTINENT FOR THE SAKE OF A WOMAN HE ONLY THOUGHT WAS SEXY!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DUNMESHI FANS THINK WITH YOUR BRAAIN

the whole fight he had with laios where laios points out that their party is more serious about finding falin and resolving everything also drives me nuts because i've seen at least one take saying that toshiro doesn't care about falin as much as team laios because of this. which yes the fact that team laios understands the importance of health in pursuit of a goal is very very important but for many cases in east asian culture (and actually any culture with emphasis on capitalism and economic growth) productivity will get valued above all else which leads to neglect of personal health, i.e: what toshiro was doing. so this is just a clown take to begin with

also interesting to me that almost every character in dunmeshi thus far has demonstrated some kind of racial bias/misconceptions (i.e: chilchuck about elves, senshi about half-foots, etcetera etcetera) and laios and falin are no exception. race and racial differences and conflict and coexistence is also one of the underlying themes in dungeon meshi, with the elves of the west being considered a major issue to many dungeon-goers and the mayor hating dwarves and having to contend with those elves, and then marcille's motive for studying black magic and even thistle's motive for being the dungeon keeper. so it's real fucking ironic that the fans are really quick and happy to demote toshiro to 'asshole side character who is bullying our autistic rep' instead of, you know, using nuance and thinking about it

tldr; dungeon meshi has great commentary on what it's like as an autistic person in society. but dungeon meshi fans are too quick to write off toshiro as an asshole japanese guy who is ableist and getting in the way of their white woman yuri, therefore helping to promote this website's enduring legacy as the piss-poor reading comprehension website

[hazelnut-u-out]

Hi! Me again! So, why exactly do you like Rick? Im not insulting you at all! He's my absolute favorite character, but it's kinda hard to believe you love him when looking at some of your posts, not that I blame you though because I'm the same way! I love him because of his character development, he's funny, interesting and fun to watch and he's super complex ! Sorry for the kinda long ask! Love your posts!

To be honest, I have a hard time finding sympathy for Rick. A lot of abusive people tend to cite their own trauma as excuses rather than reasons and, while I wouldn’t argue that Rick himself explicitly does so, I do think he sometimes views his own experiences through that lens. That can make it a lot more difficult for me to find him sympathetic. I have a lot of empathy for Rick— as in, I can feel his pain, anger, frustration, etc. At the same time, I have a hard time understanding how that makes his actions in the present (specifically in his relationship with Morty) acceptable. I cannot separate Rick from his actions because, to reference Bojack Horseman, people are what they do, intentions be damned.

I mentioned this somewhere a while back (I think in the tags of a post I reblogged), but I think you can have genuine personal criticisms of a character and still love that character. In fact, I would go as far as to say that my issues with Rick are what make me love him, because a character’s flaws are part of what their character represents in context.

I love Rick because he’s given me something to root for. Morty deserves a good grandpa. So does Summer. Beth, who also isn’t immune to my criticism, deserves a good dad. From Season 1, you can see the good in him just begging to peek out from behind the facade, trauma, and bullshit. Furthermore, in context, he shows us that taking accountability might not always mean you’re entitled to forgiveness, but that a lack of forgiveness doesn’t mean trying and moving forward is pointless, as well.

None of us are perfect, and Rick isn’t either. Like you said, he’s complex, funny, dynamic, etc. People are not without nuance. None of us are, whether we like it or not. No one is entirely good or entirely bad. We’re all mixed bags of trail mix. We’ve all got our raisins. (Unless you like raisins. Then my joke doesn’t land.) The point of working on yourself isn’t to be perfect, or even to be forgiven. It’s just to work on yourself— to try; to fail; to keep trying.

I don’t think I’d like Rick as a person if I met him in real life, to be honest with you, but I love him as a piece of art. That’s what I think characters are! Art can be grotesque, appalling, fucked up, and offensive, especially when there’s a message behind that.

Characters can’t exist in a vacuum. I mean, would we even be interested in a show where Rick realized he was an asshole in the pilot and was The Perfect Family Man for 10 seasons without anything challenging that? Probably not.

Also, he’s just a silly guy, and I like ‘em silly.

[odvunir]

i think the main problem i have with puritan online "callout culture" where if your follower's follower's mutual is called out, rightfully so or not, you might be publicly @'d to either unfollow and condemn them, or to justify why you're "defending" them

i guess it's weird that people never stop to think... what is the endgame here? is the endgame to make it so that person has no friends or followers or peace? cuz what does that do

everyone in the whole world needs people, even when they mess up. especially when they mess up. or are doing something unhealthy. you can't just abandon everyone in your life because they messed up. where would any of us be?

"but they did something bad" even if they did. what's that got to do with you? what prevents you from going "i dont like that" and scrolling past and continuing on with your life? what is your personal stake in the life choices of strangers?

im begging everyone to think much more deeply about the term "reactionary" and what it means to be one in leftist spaces because if we keep permanently excommunicating young gay/trans people for making questionable art, how will they learn and grow and change. does it have to be a sitewide instablock or a giant public shouting match every time? are the people rapidly livetweeting their downfall making healthy life decisions? is there perhaps, nuance between "big name sponsored creator with millions of followers grooming young fans" vs "some random guy with 4 followers having 1 diaperfur pic in his favs"

big name celebs with patterns of abuse need the public discussion because otherwise the victims are swept under the rug. they need to be deplatformed because theyve shown they cant be trusted with an audience

when you shift that culture and mindset towards some random dude, you've just got a harassment campaign

"so i'm just supposed to let pedos and zoos into my spaces" no, i'm saying

the more aggressive you are about keeping your circle morally pure and identical to you, the lonelier we all get.

having a positive interaction with someone who's "morally bankrupt" doesn't demerit you and is in fact normal and healthy human behavior. and you can condemn someone's actions while also being a good friend

[somescenecatholic]

✨🌈🌮HEYYYYY GUYSSSSSSS🌮🌈✨

Hello guuysss sorry for not being here 4 awhile. Here's some updates on my life!

I'm finally a high school senior!! (its summer rn, my last day was may 24)

Also, I'm 17 now!!!!

im been gone bc um.. alot of really not so good stuff happened to me and im recovering rn. I may make a post abt tht later but that's all im saying rn!

But I refuse to let that get me down, so I'm still the happy silly guy yk!

Anyways recently I've gotten into Warrior Cats!!! ITS SOOO GOODDDdd

AND PICKING COLLEGES IS SO HARD!! I'm only 17 and next yr I'll be 18! Wdym I have to pick out the rest of my life???? Bleh america's weirddd :/

Also I got purple box braids!!

ALSOO I saw the new inside out!!! ITS SO GOODDDDD! My favs r Joy (literally me), Anxiety, and Envy!!!! The movie wss like rlly good I loved how the emotions r like more nuanced is tht makes sense! :3 Like how there is no actual villain, everyone is trying to help Riley get through her life! Btw, RILEY HAS A 4TOWN POSTER IN HER ROOM :O

I seriously wish tht they made more songs for 4*Town. Like cmon now sm ppl were begging Disney to make 4*Town a real band... Like yeah it would be hard but literally it would be so popular!! Can we pleaaass bring back boy bands and make girl bands just as popular??? And take away all the negativity in it and stuff?? Please kids my age had 1D around when we were nowhere old enough to go to their concerts and actually enjoy it!! PLEAAAASEEEE 😭

Oh yeha speaking abt One Direction, I have a super rare one direction bag!! My friend is a huge directioner and like she told me tht my bag is rlly old and u cant find it nowhere!!! >.< It has the guys when they were teenagers on it. My cousin gave me the bag when I was in 1st grade and I wasnt rlly into them then but I kept it tho. Fast foward to like a couple months ago and my Kirby bag breaks. My sister was cleaning out her room and she found it!! I was like "NO WAY! I GOTTA USE THIS NOWW!" bc like I <3 1D and I needed a new bag! Its rlly good and its like SOO CUTE

OO AND ALSO, are you guys gonna see the Pharell Williams lego movie? Tbh I think its a bit strange to make an entire movie abt urself but like the movie looks literally SO COOLLL AA!! IDK man i love movies with sparkles and creativity all over it. I'm not even a fan of his im just gonna wafch it to try to fill the void in my heart where the lego batman movie 2 and the lego movie 3 should be!!!

OK BYE FRFRRR HAVE A GREATTT NIGHT/DAY/EVENING!!! (we srsly need a word tht combines all of tht ;-;)

[wolvebonez]

okay so ive been scrolling tumblr for fics since ao3s down and I have a guilty love for Irondad fics despite not really interacting with the marvel fandom at all. (Or any marvel media outside of the spiderman movies, and spiderman comics, cuz im a sucker for peter parker. Blame into the spiderverse.) Guys, what the FUCK is “anti-tony stark” and “pro-tony stark” ???? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???? HELpppp me/ . Help. Dear god. The stupidest fucking discourse ive ever seen. Jesus.  Like marvel is literally built on being pro-military pro-police pro-big coperation propaganda. That’s just what it is and always will be founded upon. The comics themselves were straight up propaganda. The movies are more subtle but they cannot free themselves of that fact because the Comics Were, Literally, As I cannot stress enough, MADE AS AMERICAN PROPAGANDA!!!! Thats all to say: Tony Stark as a character is propaganda. No he would not reasonably ever fucking be a good person outside of fiction. However it is a movie and it’s meant for you to view him as a good person. It’s not wrong to fucking enjoy him, as long as you realize it’s propaganda. It’s ALSO not wrong to dislike him, as long as you realize it’s still fiction. Am I making sense here? Honestly, I’ve been taken aback at how WEIRD and toxic some of the posts i’ve seen are. “Shut up if your pro-tony I dont want to see irondad fics anymore” and “If I see another fic saying its pro-tony but then the fic criticizes him I’m gonna kill someone” . PLEASE Have some nuance to your thinking PLEASE Im begging you. Dear god.

[420technoblazeit]

hey, I've been looking around but i can't seem to find the answer i want and i know you've played danganronpa so i figured I'd ask you. you've said danganronpa's portrayal of minorites and characterization can be pretty bad, but is it worth it to play with a critical eye? the genre seems right up my alley but i don't want to be like. disrespectful. i just don't know if it's the homestuck death of the author or the harry potter Do Not Touch kind of deal.

so unfortunately. danganronpa v3 is in fact one of my favorite games in the world. which i feel like i dont have to say is complicated considering the fact that they have an islander caricature in the game and my country was literally an island country colonized by japan. it's fucked up and i could write essays about why i think angie yonaga is an incredibly problematic character while most of the fandom seems to have no awareness whatsoever of it. i wish angie wasn't in the game at all but anyway.

danganronpa v3 is still really fucking good in my opinion. i don't think the first game is worth it but the second game also very effectively delivers on its themes of like. perpetuating mental illness in teenagers, how it's exacerbated by academic pressures, and how society often fails in properly addressing those struggles. the third game has a less concrete theme but it's also really good and has a whole bunch of really complex characters. you can write goddamn essays on how nuanced these guys are im not joking and it's the best killing game media i've found so far

as for the racism, homophobia, and transphobia? it's ridiculous. look up the trigger warnings for the second trial in the first game because it's maybe the worst example of violent transphobia i've ever seen in a piece of fiction. like theyre probably outdoing media from the 50s with this shit, im begging you to look up trigger warnings if you get into this game. it goes into some really dark corners and it doesn't do it tastefully either, you will know WAY too much about the author's bigotry if you play danganronpa. any time a darker-skinned character or a character who's coded to be queer or trans pops up just take a step back and look at it with a critical eye. that's all i can really ask as a queer trans poc

what i'm saying is danganronpa has a lot of good and a whole lot of bad too. just know what you're getting into when you start this series. i think it's very possible to get into it without supporting the creators (you can find pirated copies fucking EVERYWHERE and even the newest addition is 8 years old at this point) so i'd say it's fine

[dekusleftsock]

I am begging you and every other MHA fan to raise your standards cause Kohei gave everyone a yuri couple only to immediately kill one off.

…how many times has horikoshi faked deaths in this series. Because it’s A LOT. Afo, allmight, izuku losing his arm, bakugou, touya, Ochako literally last chapter, like… the story isn’t done yet my dude.

BUT HEY IF YOU WANNA ACTUALLY CRITIQUE HORIKOSHIS WRITING THEN IM ALL FOR IT HAHA

So how do I think horikoshi has seriously failed mha… hmm…

1: her

Her entire character. Well, not entire character. She GOT a lot of screen time and development don’t get me wrong, especially later in the series, and yes I love the fact that bakugou and dekus relationship was more prioritized than Izuku and Ochakos, but does that mean he prioritized her character? No! Nope! NADDA! Ochako is repeatedly sidelined throughout the story, and is also somehow excluded from a lot of arcs that SERIOUSLY RELATE TO HER CHARACTER.

Imagine if ochako was a part of the stain arc at all. She joined for selfish reasons like iida, he has a blood quirk like toga (which could’ve EASILY been foreshadowing to her not being freaked out by blood like most people), could’ve been a great way to show some nuance to her character….

And yet… AND YET…

That brings me to mistake number 2: Shoto Todoroki

Do I think shoto’s character is written badly or wrong? No! Of course I don’t! The entirety of the todoroki storyline, especially with its connection to hawks and the dirty parts of heroics, is really really good! I think it’s one of the most well handled abusive families in all of fiction. It understands EVERYONE in the family, and horikoshi is still able to show so much character and development in just a few scenes, like Natsuo or Rei.

So what IS my problem?

The fact that Ochako, her story, her CHARACTER AS A WHOLE… becomes sidelined due to horikoshi’s choice to prioritize his character over her’s. Again, it’s a great story and I wish he could balance both of them in mha, but he COULDNT, and he made the choice to sacrifice a woman’s character over a man’s.

Though I will say, a note on how ochako could’ve been in the stain arc: toga as a concept was created later and for ochako specifically, so it does kind of make sense as to why she wasn’t involved. Plans change and writers change, their ideas for their characters and what direction they go will ALWAYS change, and sadly you can’t predict that you won’t change a character or it’s direction at any point. It sucks! But that’s how a lot of these really long manga’s go. They have to write and then draw it pretty fucking fast.

And tbh I don’t really know what id do in horikoshi’s shoes with ochako and shoto! But it is definitely a critique we can acknowledge. It would take some seriously extraordinary writing skills to be able to balance, what, 3 deuteragonists? Katsuki, Ochako, AND Todoroki? Especially since one of those characters has a very complex trauma storyline that involves like five other characters? I honestly wouldn’t know what to do in his shoes!

I just wish he had picked the woman out of the two of them, but I think everyone knows that his manga wouldn’t be half as popular were he to have made it focus on two guys and a girl, instead of three guys, one of which is conventionally attractive and has major main character energy.

Anyway number 3: the overhaul arc

Ugh I have such mixed opinions on this arc. On one hand it has some really interesting storylines… when they’re on their own.

From what I understand, horikoshi did this arc because he wanted to try his hands at a longer arc and he had never really done that before. And while it’s great and very obvious he learned things from this arc, it just… takes up so much god damn space and gives us absolutely nothing long term.

Like yeah it makes a few points, like how high schoolers shouldn’t be involved in all of this and kinda sets up the ending rn where the actual adult heroes are sacrificing themselves for the next generation (ex: the guy that I forget the name of who’s now bakugous heart, allmight for deku, midnight for Mina/all the other kids, Mount lady, Aizawa for deku and all the other kids, Mirko for bakugou, etc etc), where as villains sacrifice the next generation for THEMSELVES (ex: afo and shigaraki, overhaul and eri, the gun arm girl for deku, also afo for dabi, etc etc) which is really good to do!

It’s just. Yk. Done by basically every other arc.

AIZAWA REPEATEDLY SHOWS THIS, ALLMIGHT REPEATEDLY SHOWS THIS, ENDEAVOR REPEATEDLY SHOWS THIS. Like it’s the entirety of Mount ladies arc, learning to be a hero and sacrifice for the next generation. Sacrifice and the fact that we forget 1-A are high schoolers is constantly shoved down our fucking throats; we don’t need this arc that takes so god damn long, only adds more characters that aren’t that important, TAKES AWAY FROM YOUR MAIN CAST OTHER THAN DEKU AND ALLMIGHT, JUST for it to tell you explicitly that “kids shouldn’t be fighting the battles of the previous generation, but they have to”. It just. Ugh.

There’s so much time in that arc fucking WASTED on nighteye or mirio’s character. Do I think the big three are really interesting? Of course! The contrast between mirio to deku is fascinating! It really shows how much deku can’t become allmight.

But you know. We talked about that a season ago mha. Yk. When he learns to use kicks instead of punches. Or yk. Gran Torino’s entire arc surrounds that. Everything about deku is nothing like allmight. That’s the entirety of their characters together. It’s repeatedly shown to be dekus biggest insecurity. He’s not allmight. YOU DIDNY NEED THIS ARC TO TELL YOU THAT AGAIN.

It’s like, everything that matters in this arc has already been shouting at you throughout the entire show, and everything else is never really used again outside of a mention here or there. It’s REALLY CLEAR Horikoshi was just doing this arc to try doing a long arc, not thinking about the long term of said arc.

Hmmm what else is there to complain about…

Eh, I guess the fan service? Which is, yk, in every other shonen anime/manga out there. Sometimes with people far younger than anyone in mha.

Ugh it’s like people like you just want me to be screaming “horikoshi did this! Horikoshi did that!” Every five seconds. I read the manga, I’ve talked about these flaws before on my account. Sorry if I… enjoy the manga???? Wait… omg!

It’s almost like I’m an mha account and it says RIGHT HERE IN MY BIO! Crazy!

Like seriously, what was your point? You were mad at drawings on a screen and someone enjoying that story and just… wanted to make someone’s day worse?

Did you expect me to heave over and be like “yes master anon! Toga is the worst written character in mha and horikoshi is a bad writer!” He’s a capable writer who understands his audience more than people give him credit for.

EVERY story has flaws. Every. Single. One. And because mha is literally everywhere and the fandom can get annoying because, it’s literally everywhere, I can understand getting annoyed sometimes. But you can’t sit here and expect me to solely focus on how bad horikoshi’s writing is because you’re mad at one thing. Toga SHOULD be selfless for ochako, sorry that it means thinking that she’s going to die???? What do you want from me?

I don’t have to “raise my standards” because horikoshi uses a lot of subtext and symbolism. I have other gay media I watch or read.

But like every single lgbtq movement that’s ever happened, it takes BABY STEPS. There aren’t many, if any, gay shonens out there, and if mha wants to be the first one it has to play by the rules. It has to make you think this is every other heterosexual shonen ever.

Shojo didn’t just become gay, it had to have shows like sailor moon censor a lesbian couple to be “cousins” so that other shows could exist. Madoka had to be at least semi subtle about its queer coding.

That whole meme where it shows one show saying “x show walked so that y show could run”, yeah that’s how every gay genre was made. Horror didn’t just become gay, it had to have community and relatability build up over the years, along with those new gay writers remembering where they came from, who paved the way.

My point being: I don’t give a shit if you think horikoshi is an awful writer who you think I can’t criticize. However I DO KNOW that if toga and ochako fully get together you’ll NEVER be able to avoid mha. And that thought makes me smile so much more than just the fact that they’re canon.

[angelcloves]

I'm not sure why someone asked you to write a flash fic about the Hexsquad learning the ills of homophobia, but I say that you did an excellent job with it. You handled the topic with delicacy and nuance, which is all anybody could ask for.

Oh and Hunter being all "Yeah, we had a bunch of messed up rules in the Emperor's Coven, but nothing like that." is absolutely hilarious to me. Lol.

That does beg the question of why Belos was seemingly cool with Demons and Witches of all genders (Or lack of therefore) loving each other though. Guy was a Puritan, historically... they were very unaccepting of anything but heterosexuality. Maybe he just decided to focus on killing them all, not bothering with trying to force heteronormativity on them along the way? Hmm...

(Oh, and hi! I'm back from my vacation, if you even noticed that I was gone, lol. Sorry you had trouble from asshole anons, anonymity just turns some people into monsters.)

im glad i could do the topic justice with the limits that i had! i like to think that belos did have a problem with all the homosexuality on the isles but any rules against it were so wildly unpopular that he got his ass beat for even suggesting it in the philip era. i imagine eventually he figured theyre going to hell anyways and he should just focus on genocide plans as opposed to 'reforming' them.

(also yes i did notice and i missed u a lot i hope u had a good time on vacation!!!)

[ssreeder]

ahhhhh sreedie I lost track of tiiiiime I missed an updateeee

but ykw that means?? you get double the amount of blather from yours truly this time around :D

lmao finally sokka is getting some sword training that isn’t zuko hitting him with a stick when he gets his form wrong

sorry sorry but sweaty sokka is making me think of this one tv show where the main character is panicking bc she has to distract this guy and what she decided to say as a distraction tactic is “I feel.. sticky” and I almost died of second hand embarrassment.

anyways sweaty sokka supremacy this boy needs more minor inconveniences to balance out the major inconveniences that bulldoze over his hopes and dreams

honestly I think sokka is coping pretty well given the circumstances

I’m going to expose myself here but when suki finally reunited with sokka I will admit I was physically wiggling in excitement

aw suki your girlhood dreams are about to be pulverised :((

also can I just say I adore you bc you’ve managed to perfectly balance the fact that suki is a teenage girl with what she thinks is a requited crush BUT ALSO she’s a leader and a tactician and is aware of anomalies in her surroundings at all times

slay kovi my new fav

ALSO ALSO I HAD THIS REALISATION LIKE LAST WEEK BUT WE’RE GETTING MORE AZULA WHICH MEANS WE’RE ALSO GETTING MORE CHEN OR CHAN OR CHANG OR WHATEVER THE ZHAOS BROTHER IS CALLED I FORGOT IM SO SORRY

yoooo suki coming in clutch with the gossip besties

SHEN POV SHEN POV SHEN POV SHEN POV SHEN POV SHEN POV ok yeah I’m gonna be Sooo much more annoying about shen than anybody ever was about reho. now your never gonna wanna remarry me :(

shen is more dedicated to complaining about his sore ass than zuko is to self preservation fr

zuko and shen banter that’s actually purposeful verbal attacks but I’ll pretend is banter bc it’s funny >>>

it’s not Actually funny but it’s lowkey hilarious that shen is like “fuck now I gotta be chivalrous and save zuko over myself if I ever get the chance why must I be such a gentleman woe is me” like bestie if you really didn’t want to help zuko you could just.. Not

also I think you’re handling like the racist propaganda of the fire nation about the other nations really well btw!!

lmao not morrak singling sokka out as an instigator for potential mass injury so blatantly

okay sad that sokka is suffering with communication BUT HOPEFULLY when (and I mean WHEN sreedie istg) zukka are reunited he’ll maybe have a better time trying to get zuko to like.. actually fucking talk about how he’s feeling??? maybe?? a girl can dream okay. but also it’s so real to like not be able to open up to people able difficult topics (not that I have anywhere Near the trauma these boys have) just bc you haven’t yet started talking to someone about them and it’s overwhelming to even think where to begin bc it feels like even if you could figure it out it’ll be impossible to actually convey all the nuance of how you’re feeling bc there’s just so much of it

AUNT WU pls sokka enjoy hating on spirit shenanigans I was you to experience some joy

ohoho please PLEASE let quon’s assholery and ambition bite him in the ass P L E A S E sreedie I’m begging

dude not zuko genuinely considering whether he would maintain his pride better by literally shitting his pants. I can’t anymore with this boy

“are you a good person shen”

“not all the time”

WHAT A SLAY ANSWER OMFG HES AN ICON HES A LEGEND HES-

I’m not sure whether to be scared that quon Will be worse than zhao or laugh at quon’s confidence bc there’s no way he’s worse than zhao

quick question sreedie umm how hasn’t zuko lost any teeth yet am I just supposed to suspend my disbelief about how many times he can get punched in the jaw and not suffer some serious dental damage

awww shen you DO care about zuko :3

genuinely living for shen’s belaboured feral pygmy puma dad era that zuko is forcing him to suffer through its glorious

listen all shen needs to do is leverage sokka against zuko?? like literally just bitch at him about how if he gets himself killed then sokka will be distraught and that’s like at least 60% of his attitude issues solved

do I dislike jet? yeah. do I think it’s going to be wildly entertaining to have him along for the journey? yeah.

NOT MORE OF THE FUCKING BENDER SUPPRESSANTS FUCK OFF ohohoho alas quon you are unaware about zuko being bloody superhuman when it comes to this drug

I was going to say something else but now I have forgotten but!! it’s okay bc now I am going to read the second chapter and hopefully I’ll remember it at some point when I’m writing my next comment >:)

I have been thinking of answering your asks for DAYYYYSSSSS but these damn holidays don’t wanna let me DO IT. But don’t worry ex-lover I am here!

Suki & Sokka reuniting is amazing! She is going to be a good influence on him, I feel it in my BONES!

Or he will gaslight her into thinking he is fine & she won’t be able to help with Shiiit….

Sokka hasn’t spoken to ANYONE about what happened to him except Zuko. & even his dad & Bato got the “safe version” so yeah opening up or even beginning to accept that this is a topic he will EVENTUALLY have to find words to communicate is very difficult… for some people it’s impossible. So I do feel bad for Sokka he isn’t an in easy spot.

It’s funny you mention teeth this was like a big convo in the server today so I’m going to go ahead & say zukos teeth are blessed by Agni themselves so they will not break or fall out it’s canon don’t question me.

Shens teeth are not though

I have my hand pressed against the glass window of my house staring across at your house because we don’t live together anymore but I miss you…..

[thrown-away-opinions]

Ime, the bigger red flags for me with any rp (tt or freeform creative writing) is when the other player can't understand "character is not player" and vice versa, AND/OR Main Character syndrome. Double whammy if both. It's less often the player who does fucked up actions ic (within reason, there's so much nuance that would take an essay to account for) and more often the prima donna's who throw a fit if the plot doesn't exclusively go their way, much like you described.

Yeah, some of my worst experiences at any table have been with players who take everything personally and act as if their characters are a direct representation of themselves. If they are angry at you, or another player, they'll do something in game to spite that player. If something happens to them in game, they'll act as if the GM or other player is trying to insult them directly and get needlessly argumentative and hostile. Anything short of always getting their way and always winning is a potential conflict.

There's not really a reason to overanalyze in game behaviors. It's a game after all, and sometimes killing the goblin that is begging for its life means that player doesn't want to engage in a facade of morality when everyone at the table knows that they've already killed hundreds of other creatures. Not because they're a sick and twist psycho with a fucked up darkside who loves killing.

Intent and context matters. The guy who starts gutting NPCs and antagonizing other players because he can't regulate his emotions is being a childish shithead, at minimum. Maybe it doesn't mean he's mentally ill, but a grown-ass man should also know better and a casual social activity with friends isn't the place for him to learn that a game is just a game.

[the1975attheirverybest]

I hope this okay to ask feel free to ignore if not but how do you manage to cope with people saying such inflammatory stuff about matty constantly? You seem very adjusted to it, I am usually alright at ignoring it and I know its not true but sometimes I see things people say and I feel a bit sick because that's what people think and what if they think I support that and idk. I get scared there might be truth in it sometimes even though I don't think that and it gets difficult to cope with. I really strongly believe in having nuance in a situation, being critical of the people you enjoy instead of blindly praising them and not putting people on pedestals, which is why I still engage with matty because to me he is a guy who says and does stupid things occasionally like most people realistically do. But people see it so black and white and you're either a good person or you're not and I hate that and it gets to me sometimes.

no worries at all! that's what fandoms are for. to debate and cope with things like this. especially at a weird time that this fandom seems to be in rn.

For me, it's a mixture of different things. The first being that I've tested my own beliefs and so I'm more sure of them than ever. That's part of what I love about being a fan of Matty. He's constantly challenging me. Whenever he does or says something that I personally wouldn't do, I stop and ask myself why. Would I not do it because I think it's wrong? or would I not do it because I have been conditioned to behave a certain way automatically (whether by culture, by upbringing, by societal expectations of women and femininity, etc) and its never occurred to me that there might be an alternative until he just showed me? So, that way, my own thinking is under the microscope, and if something doesn't hold up, I get rid of it, if something remains firm then I have to agree to disagree with him on it (the nepo baby thing is a good example of that. He's just wrong there, lol. Sorry Matty.)

I had a similar moment of doubt to what you're describing when the podcast shitshow happened. Cuz I wasn't entirely disgusted by it. Did I think that some jokes were tone-deaf? Yeah. But I didn't feel AS offended as everyone who was saying they no longer support the band, or their opinion of him has changed forever, or that hes not the same guy who wrote "loving someone" or "love it if we made it" or "jc2005gba" or "people," and hes showing his true colors or whatever. So, I was like "broooo am I the problem? am I blind? is his sexiness making me think that he could do no wrong and its to the detriment of my moral character? so I went back and listened to the podcast THREE FUCKIN TIMES. After some thinking, I felt like okay some jokes really shouldn't have been made, period. Like he fucked up at a handful of moments, BUT the VAST MAJORITY of the reactions were to things taken out of context and were exaggerations of how one SHOULD react. fucking up doesn't mean he's secretly evil and it doesn't cancel out all the good that he's done.

So, I walked away from the whole situation even firmer in my beliefs about what is appropriate and what's not, what I personally stand for as a human, and what I believe about Matty's character. Which is why, when I see that shit that people are saying now, I'm like "they're a bunch of morons." cuz I thought about it and know what's what. I think they did as well maybe they wouldn't be saying half the shit that they are saying. Kissing fans at a show after checking their ID to see that they're of age and after they've consented to it and BEGGED for it is NOT grooming. Saying that he likes hot women is NOT misogynistic, "thank you Kanye very cool" is a LITERAL TWEET by Donald Trump used in an ironic context of a protest song, it's NOT anti-semitic. you see where im going with this...

Does it break my fuckin heart when I see people wishing him relapse and overdosing and death? fuck yeah. This person stopped me from killing myself i don't wanna see people wishing him dead! ESPECIALLY that half the time, I remember that interview moment where he said that he gets nervous when hes not with "my people." like he's aware that hes rough around the edges, he knows it takes a moment to, like, figure out who he is and that not everyone gets it, and he's genuinely grateful to those of us who have given him the space to be himself and who believe in his art enough to take a moment and think about what he does to the point where it makes him feel safe and he doesn't take it for granted. So, to picture him, perhaps scrolling online or whatever and seeing people say this vile shit about him....it makes me sick to my stomach. But I try and deal with it in three ways. 1) I remind myself who Matty truly is (he didn't HAVE to put hijab wearing women in TOOTIME we are literally invisible to popculture i never see myself represented anywhere. we are not considered a demographic at all; he didn't HAVE to write LIIWMI, he didn't HAVE to give airtime to the speech that he gave at the brits in 2019, he doesn't HAVE to go out of his way to support the artists that Dirty Hit supports and keep in touch with young people's concerns, etc) That's Matty. He's always saying that people take girl fandoms for granted but younger female fans are smarter than him and have taught him so much. HE LEARNS from his fans. he doesn't think of us as something has accumulated because of his genius or whatever. 2) I remind myself that this isn't really about Matty at all. These swifties don't believe in being social justice warriors! if they did, they'd be okay with calling out taylor for her mistakes. Or they wouldn't be so nasty as to threaten to listen to her stolen music and stop supporting her re-records. They want justification for their hatred of Matty, and cuz matty's mistakes are so public, they have a lot to use against him. People who use his mistakes and his addiction against him aren't people I should concern myself with. what they believe is worth shit to me. Where do they get off calling him a bad person when they're dragging him for things he didn't even do???? yeah, they can go to hell for all I care. When someone has a legitimate criticism of him, or when he does something actually bad, then I'll listen. Like I did when the pod happened. 3) I live in my happy little bubble, lmao. I SCROLLLL bestie. SCROLLL past them comments. I know that shit is gonna break my heart and ruin my day, so I will not subject my eyeballs to it. At most, if it shows up against my will as it sometimes does on tiktok, I'll remind myself that the stupidity of the human race is kinda funny, I'll laugh about it, imagine Matty's brutal humor making a meme out of it if he were still online, crack myself up. and move on...

Unfortunately, people who don't take the time to actively seek growth remain in their black and white thinking. Just because a massive number of people think something is true, doesn't mean it is. recent political changes across the planet have definitely shown us that there can be great idiocy in greta numbers, lmao. this is no different.

Sorry this is a long ass rant. you were probably looking for a concise and simple response but i just....dont know that there is one, lol. Hope this helps but i know how you feel and it's really hard to remain calm in the face of it all. ohhh god. hopefully it ends soon.

[skadren]

I keep seeing a bunch of live and let go, boundaries are personal and not moral stances posts about writing and i largely agree ppl should be able to explore what they want in fic but also. Is there a way to balance or talk about "hi um white author so you kinda reinvented racism/blood eugenics and unilaterally present sex work as inherently degrading and etc etc etc for Shipping Angst Drama fodder, when the text is like. None of that" in fandom or even just in like. A server community. Maybe I'm a bit sensitive bc i feel constructed/projected misery is kind of tacky to begin with and i wouldn't do it with a complete stranger but idk my guy. I don't want to alienate myself but it's weird to go completely uncritical here

i think there are a couple items you need to check off the list before you can go "yes talking to internet stranger #37461239 about a highly sensitive topic is a good idea"

is it tagged appropriately? if it's tagged trust me the writer knows. they have probably gotten way more unsolicited feedback than they would really like

is the portrayal you're concerned about reinforcing an unhealthy or discriminatory predominant social narrative? if it is and you think the writer is genuinely unaware, then yeah, it might be worth bringing up. the emphasis here is on predominant please i am begging on my hands and knees

will this result in a productive conversation? if the intent behind this is to get people to reconsider, it isn't helping anyone if you know it will just lead to them doubling down and doing it even worse. at that point you're only making a performative statement to validate your own stance

if it really is bothering you that much, is there a compelling reason why you can't just block and move on? it isn't your responsibility nor is it feasible to fix how a fandom is doing things, especially if it's a group of people you don't really know. your own mental health always comes first, and a bit of salty venting in private with your friends never hurts anyone

if it IS a friend or acquaintance who is doing this and you think they would be open to discussing it with nuance, then you can probably bring it up. if that person has a basic level of consideration and respect for you it tends to go well, but i've also seen people double down because they already know there's something wrong with their attitudes but get mad at you for wanting them to change, and then it creates a whole ton of drama and people get hurt and it's not pretty. so. ymmv

ultimately, someone's views on racism or sex work or whatever is reflective of a broader social norm, and fandom is not the best space to try to fix that through confrontation-- it's usually someone's "safe space" where they want to retreat from the world, not come face-to-face with any sort of personal reckonings. do i think it's a mark of privilege that some people have the luxury of ignoring these issues when they "just want to have fun"? yes, but again, this is about being able to have productive discussion, not about what's "fair". unfortunately.

my two cents: if you're in a server community or some other space that makes you uncomfortable there's really nothing wrong with going "hey, we have fundamentally different standards when it comes to [x], and i don't think i want to be here" and moving on. the best way to challenge these things is quite literally to make your own food. there's a much better chance of the people you're worried about coming across it and realizing they like it than magically being able to argue them down with well-placed logic and reasonable points or whatever

EDIT: OH ALSO IM STUPID if you mean talking about it in general. not naming writer names but trends in the fandom. yes absolutely-- not in a public space like social media but definitely find a group of people who you trust who you can talk about these things with!! it is good and healthy. just make sure it isn't just a discord server open to the public or smth tho so you personally know and trust everyone who can see it (and you don't accidentally shit talk someone who is in that space lmao)

[sallysetoncore]

okay so. saw les miserables tonight for the first time in five fucking years (which. okay so i'm 22. and in the last fifteen years. i have seen les miserables 8 times. so the fact that there was a five year gap in that is crazy) and like. in 2020 i got like. more into it than i ever have before. like it's been my favorite musical since i was seven but . in 2020 i read the book and i got like. genuinely a little unwell about it.

and that insanity kind of . ended in 2021/22 for a handful of reasons but also basically immediately became insanity about supernatural. which then has kind of died down at the end of 2023.

so. 2024. what's good? um. well. i basically moved and got a new job that became 99% of my life and. i don't know how to put this with any nuance but basically for the last six months i have been dramatically less transgender than usual. to a point of questioning if i was right to come out as nonbinary in the first place because i have been feeling so much like . Diet Woman. or "girl with they/them pronouns". but part of that is like, getting she/hered exclusively despite telling everyone my pronouns are they/them, and being in a place that is not exactly good about trans people (floridaaaaa). in the last six months, i have met exactly . four. out trans people. and i'm only like mildly close to one of them? so i just. i haven't been having the same irl community and support system i got very used to having in 2022/23.

and . god there's no way to say this without sounding like. cringe. so please fucking bare with me. but my connection to les miserables and my connection to supernatural both are HUGELY tied to gender, for me. the characters are mostly men. the romances i care about are mostly between men. like i am really, really captivated by Les Amis, right, the fucking 8 or so dudes in les mis. i want like, a brotherhood like that. and whatever the fuck team free will has going on, right? and these works . are sometimes comfortable to me in that way. bc when i write fic or whatever like. i get to be that guy. i get to have that connection. but it's also like. really uncomfortable to me bc then i have to get off of tumblr and close google docs and go back to being like. a fucking pretty girl. which i AM sometimes. so like. fucking there's no solution.

and like, also, these are not two medias that are like. popular with your average person. like they know what they ARE but it's not like. i know like one person down here crazy about les mis and one person crazy about supernatural but. not necessarily in the same way (both cisgender women; bisexual, but like, not reading the subtext the same way i am which is fine!!! they don't have to!!! but you understand).

and so like i keep joking about how a supernatural rewatch or getting really into les mis again would like fix me but it's also making me worse bc it's fucking painful. like this is so dumb but im like, watching the guy playing grantaire tonight and thinking. yeah i will never fucking look like that or get to play this role professionally. i MIGHT be able to beg a really progressive community theatre who doesn't have enough guys to let me play him some day but like. the biggest fucking shift in anything queer in les mis is the fact that they changed the line "there goes a prince / there goes a jew / this one's a queer / but what can you do?" to "this one's a queer / guess i'll try it too" and then thenardier fucking DIPS this dude and snarls at him??? like okay. gay rights i guess but. if it took like thirty years for that to happen. it's gonna be forever until they cast trans people in the way that i want them to.