1 + 15?
HI to the two of you c-:
1. book you’ve reread the most times?
Oh God I fear the answer to this im pretty sure i have to say Nora sakavic all for the game series. Because I ripped an epub of it to kill time in class back in sec school and I just had it on my laptop ready to look at when I got bored so I read it a lot I literally cannot say much to defend it at all because it’s like. Simply not good. But also you have to understand that it is even if it isn’t. like if you need practice suspending your belief and you love sports with dramatic interpersonal team situations like me it’s perfect. Also if you like the clock motif in Goncharov Neil Josten did the trapped in a life of violence with your pipe dream of safety and escape slowly ticking away thing too and served cunt
15. recommend and review a book
YAYYYY alright let’s go with Jonathan strange & Mr Norrell I’m gonna copy paste stuff I wrote on my Instagram and like edit it a little
JS&MN was the most entertaining book i read in a while despite its length (if you liked Piranesi you might not like it as much, they’re quite different although both distinctly by the same author). What Clarke is really good at is evoking scene/situation/detail in a way that’s almost cinematic, makes for really great tableaux in that you can picture any Clarke scene as a sexily composed charcoal illustration, which JS&MN has! seriously here’s a speedrun: tarot cards drawn with the same eerie card every time, the sound of dolorous bells from another world, a proper lady shooting someone in the middle of a perfectly white snow day, this guy steps out of a mirror and then several, great stuff
She also writes with this particular restraint that’s very british where the humour and the horror and the mystique are all measured exactly - in the book there’s a sort of slow descent from frivolous victorian society to the fucked up underworld necromantic shit strange gets up to during the napoleonic wars and her tone fits both. Not to mention how sexy the necromancy was. The Duke of wellington is there. Goya does a chalk drawing Strange surrounded by corpses
Though honestly i think the best part of the book were the footnotes i love the depth of the scholarship clarke creates and especially the small folk tales about john uskglass/the raven king because like for the whole book she builds this mythology around him and (spoiler of sorts) honestly i expected there to be a grand climax where he shows up and does some kind of showy plot relevant display but his actual appearance is like only quietly extraordinary and the one person who sees him doesn’t even remember the encounter because at this point uskglass has receded into his myth such that he’s become intangible and the plot (which is about its titular characters first and foremost) can’t extract him from his status as a folk hero because that would take away the power he has over english magic
Ultimately though JS&MN is about people who have been deprived of their autonomy and voice reclaiming hold on the narrative and it’s really satisfying as a whole story. As characters Strange and Norrell are less remarkable to me than Stephen Black/Childermass/Lady Pole etc and when the storylines converge and resolve the length of the book feels deserved; the ending isn’t fully closed though and the balance of bittersweet is really good. It’s 782 pages and I liked all of them
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New AU idea that I will never ever write!
- basically a Nazgûl finds a Silmaril and shows it to Sauron like hey boss i found a cool thing! I tried throwing it in Mount Doom but it floated :)
- Sauron’s eyes go wide and he’s like “shit. shit. fucking hide that thing while I make a call”
(cont’d under a cut bc damn this got long)
- said call is to a very confused Gandalf, who immediately agrees that yeah hiding the Silmaril is the best idea if you can’t destroy it outright
- he then shuts off the mental connection and PANICS
- WELL SHIT TIME TO CALL UPON THE BIG GUNS
- (Sauron does not want the Silmaril. He carries it down to the depths of Barad-dûr in a box he is holding at arm’s length. Also he is wearing gloves. Also also he is armed to the teeth. Literally because fangs.)
- Back with Gandalf we learn that for some reason a crazy elf has challenged Éowyn to a duel??? And she’s willing to do it??? (Éomer is having a mental breakdown like nooo not my baby sister!!)
- (Éowyn has cut off his allowance for calling her a baby. No spears for you. Two weeks.)
- she wins somehow by the sheer power of “fuck this shit im out”
- where is the ring in all this? Sauron accidentally kicked it into Mount Doom because of Shenanigans.
- bad news for the Valar: MELKOR ESCAPED. Fortunately he immediately wound up stuck in Isengard and so is prevented from Dark Lord-ing until this 17 year old in a grown ass man’s body says he can leave. This will only happen if he helps said 17 year old kill Saruman.
- SHENANIGANS
- Estë snickering in the background like “oh yeah bitch. that is MY Uruk. have fun.”
- Said Uruk is my favorite Uruk OC of mine, Bâlhûn, who has the energy of a little old lady who can and will whoop your ass if you mess with her. Bâlhûn is a he though. Also he is the aforementioned 17 year old in a grown ass man’s body.
- Anyhow Melkor gets discovered by Saruman and locked up for Existing In His General Direction or something
- he is experimented on too this is not a very comedic au despite how im describing it
- he is Displeased by this but he can’t do anything
- UNTIL
- some undead guy breaks in and goes “hey bitch to wanna get out ofc you do listen i am going to cut my arm open and bleed on you a lot so you can then ask for a bath. I’ll be fine don’t worry. Once they’ve let you out, pull out the knife and kill whoever’s there then run like hell. K? K.”
- Melkor grumbles but he does it
- (undead guy is Talion btw bc I love that horrible man)
- they escape together and then when they find Bâlhûn again he’s like “oh i thought you were dead wanna commit murder”
- and Melkor’s like “yeah actually sounds great i get why you hate that bitch Saruman”
- and Bâlhûn goes “okay great also did you know your entire lower body is covered in blood”
- cue dramatic fainting scene
- anyway they throw Saruman off a balcony and Melkor and Talion zoom off to Mordor to exist in Sauron’s general direction. in very different ways for very different reasons. Melkor wants to reunite with him *loud Victorian innuendo coughing* and Talion wants to be a nuisance. Talion always wants to be a nuisance. Moving on
- so when they get there Sauron and Melkor reunite and this goes on for like three hours *even louder Victorian innuendo coughing*
- Talion is like “damn they do not waste time also now i miss my wife” so he runs away and is Sad™️ for a while
- Melkor is very happy to have reunited with Sauron. The feeling is mutual. *ridiculously loud Victorian innuendo coughing*
- ANYWAY away from the very vigorous activity going on there *dies laughing at how ridiculously evasive that is* the Nazgûl are bored
- this means they want to throw a party
- that in turn means there is now Intrigue
- and murder but that’s par the course for these bitches
- at this party some noble makes a snide comment about what exactly Melkor’s job is
- Melkor immediately challenges him to a duel and beats the shit out of him. It’s terrifying.
- (Sauron thinks it’s hilarious)
- (Sauron is having a wonderful time)
- (Sauron will not be having a wonderful time for much longer)
- (Poor Sauron)
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The Stars of the Stage- Chapter 2
Summary: Jonathan runs into a familiar face while getting breakfast at his local coffee shop- lucky for him, that familiar face is quite handsome.
Notes: Who doesn't love a good old fashioned cute "accidentally met up at the coffee shop scenario"? x3
-First Chapter-
Needless to say, Speedwagon got the part of Sir Haste Dray without any other actors really being considered. Soon enough, the rest of the cast list was set, full scripts were sent out to the chosen actors, and rehearsals were scheduled to begin.
Jonathan was excited to see how well the show would come together. However, first, he had to finish up a few last-minute touch-ups for the script. The lines would still be essentially the same, he was just revising the movements for the climactic final fight to make it more dramatic while still being believable.
To help with his concentration, he went to work at the same place he always did when the weather was nice- his favorite coffee shop situated along the river near his apartment complex, The Ripple. He was seated outside at a table under the awning with his laptop open on the table in front of him and a large covered coffee cup with a plate of pastries off to the side. In the middle of deleting a line he’d just typed and had found less than satisfactory, however, he heard a voice calling his name.
“Mr.Joestar?” A figure accompanied the voice approaching him and he looked up to see a familiar looking blonde man dressed in a white tank top and a dark hat. “Ah, thought that was you. ‘ow’s it goin’, Mr.Joestar?” The man greeted him with a friendly smile.
“Oh! Mr.Speedwagon!” Jonathan smiled at him, taking off his glasses and setting them down on the keyboard to see the other man more clearly. “What a pleasant surprise.” He gestured to the seat across from himself at the table. “Stopping in for a drink? If you would like, you’re more than welcome to join me.”
“Mighty kind o’ y’.” Speedwagon grinned and headed for the entrance to the café. “Lemme just go grab a cup an’ I’ll be right back.” He was quick to return with a much smaller cup than Jonathan’s own and a simple croissant rather than Jonathan’s platter of pastries. “So, do y’ come ‘ere often?”
“Actually, yes.” Jonathan chuckled, pointing to his apartment complex down the street. “I actually live right over there. I usually end up here nearly every day of the week, depending on how busy I am.”
“Ha! Y’ gotta be kiddin’ me!” The other man chuckled and pointed at an apartment complex on the opposite side of the river facing the one that Jonathan had pointed at. “I live over in that one, on the fourth floor. Just moved in a few weeks back an’ I’m learnin’ me way ‘round the neighborhood.”
“Really?” Jonathan looked at where he’d pointed then back to his own, noting how the fourth floor lined up with the floor he lived on almost evenly. “Why, it would appear that we are neighbors then.” He chuckled a bit- life sure did work in mysterious ways. “In all likelihood, we’ll certainly be seeing quite a bit of each other.”
Speedwagon took a sip of his drink with a pleased hum. “Well, I sure wouln’ mind that one bit.” He set the cup down and broke off a piece of his croissant. “Say, while I got y’ ‘ere, there’s somethin’ I’d been meanin’ t’ ask y’.”
Jonathan watched the blonde curiously while eating one of his own confections. “Oh?” He swallowed and gestured for Speedwagon to continue. “What would that be, Mr.Speedwagon?”
The blonde man winced slightly at the title. “Ugh, please don’ call me that..makes me feel old. Just Speedwagon’s fine, or even Robert- but don’ go callin’ me Bob or anythin’ like that or I may have t’ deck y’.”
Jonathan chuckled a bit and nodded in agreement. “In that case, please refrain from calling me ‘Mr.Joestar’- just Jonathan is fine, or even Jojo, as that is how most of my friends and colleagues refer to me.”
“Alrigh’ then, Jojo.” Speedwagon’s smile returned, apparently pleased with the increased familiarity between the two of them now. “I read through the script that y’ sent me, an’ I was wonderin’ if I could ask y’ somethin’ ‘bout me character.”
Jonathan nodded as he listened, wondering if perhaps he’d made something unclear about Sir Haste Dray that he would need to explain in more detail. “About Sir Dray? Of course, what would you like to know?”
“Well..it might jus’ be me readin’ too much of meself int’ the character..but..” He paused, tapping his finger against the coffee cup as if considering his wording carefully. “I know the romantic focus for Lord Samuel Sunstone ‘s Lady Bella Penrith..but..does Sir Dray, y’know, ‘ave feelin’s for Lord Sunstone, too?”
Jonathan’s eyes widened slightly. “What..?” Had he really…?
Speedwagon looked back up at him with a thoughtful expression. “Don’ get me wrong, I love the relationship with Samuel an’ Bella, i’s really sweet an’ a long time comin’..but..I dunno, when I read Dray’s lines, the way ‘e talks about lovin’ Samuel’s good nature an’ ‘ow ‘e completely devotes ‘imself to the guy..it just makes me think ‘e might ‘ave a thing for ‘im, y’know?” He frowned at Jonathan’s wide-eyed stare. “I mean, if I’m wrong, y’ can tell me, I was just wonderin’-”
He was startled when Jonathan suddenly reached across the table with both hands and grabbed Speedwagon’s shoulders with an excited smile on his face and stars in his eyes. “You actually picked up on that?! Oh, I cannot believe it! I did not know if that would still come through, but I am delighted you were able to see it!!”
Speedwagon blinked in confusion. “Wait..so..I got it right..?”
“You did!” Jonathan suddenly realized that he had grabbed the smaller man and released him, settling back down in his seat with a slight flush to his cheeks. “My apologies, I became too excited again..I just..I am so happy you were able to notice the truth about Sir Dray’s feelings!” He was still smiling, he couldn’t help it with how excited he was. “I wanted to write their relationship into the story as well, but William said it would confuse the audience since most don’t associate such things with the time period. I tried to tell him that there was an entire subculture and code-system practiced by homosexuals during the Victorian era, but he said it would feel like too much for the audience to believe. So, I was forced to remove a few scenes with Samuel and Dray having the discussion about Dray’s sexual identity and the implications of such a thing between himself and Samuel, but I did not want to change any of the other scenes with them, so I left the dialogue unchanged. I cannot tell you how happy I am to know that their connection was still able to shine through enough for someone to recognize it!”
Speedwagon smiled too, beaming with pride. “I’m jus’ glad I wasn’ misjudgin’ the guy. People tell me all the time I’m tryin’ t’ projec’ me own ‘preferences’ ont’ characters. Good t’ know I was right on this one.”
Jonathan paused for a moment hearing those words, trying not to blush as a rogue idea crossed his mind. “So then..you are..?”
Speedwagon winked at him with a chuckle. “Yep. Gay as a maypole, mate.”
“O-Oh..I see..” Jonathan glanced away, his cheeks feeling warm. Really, now, how ridiculous was that? He barely knew the man and after one short conversation he felt like a school boy with a crush? Honestly, why was he like this? “Well, in any case, I am truly glad you identified so well with Sir Dray. Honestly, I was overjoyed that William allowed me to caste you for the part- you were a perfect fit.”
“Glad y’ thought so, ‘e caught my attention from the moment I read ‘is description.” He took a sip of his coffee and finished up his croissant. “By the way..mind if I ask y’ one more question ‘bout Dray an’ Samuel?”
“You may ask as many questions as you please- I am always excited to talk about my work.” Jonathan replied honestly, more than happy to discuss such things with someone insightful enough to understand his writing so well.
“Hmh, good t’ know.” Speedwagon smiled and set down his coffee cup before asking his question. “I jus’ wanted t’ know..are Dray’s feelin’s for Samuel one-sided, or does Samuel return some of it? Like I said, I’m fine with Samuel an’ Bella’s romance, but thinkin’ that ‘e doesn’ know ‘bout Dray’s feelin’s or jus’ allows the guy t’ follow ‘im ‘round knowin’ ‘e loves ‘im is kinda sad, y’know?”
“Ah..that is a good question.” Jonathan’s smile softened into something more understanding. “To answer it simply- no, Dray’s feelings are not one-sided. Samuel is quite aware of how his dearest friend feels, and, in one of the scenes I unfortunately had to cut, he discusses with his mentor that he has feelings for both his best friend and his long-time crush. He goes on to say that, in a perfect world, he would be allowed to marry both of them and live a long, happy life with the two who have supported him and showed him such love and kindness right when he needed it the most. His teacher acknowledges that his feelings are pure and that he deserves such a life, but advises him on how, even without the influence of the same dark forces the antagonist controls, that peoples’ hearts are fickle and easily led astray by misconceptions and tells him not to be too public with his affections, for both his own and Dray’s safety. I even wrote a scene towards the end where, after Samuel’s wedding to Bella, when they step into their horse-drawn carriage to be carted off for their honeymoon, Dray was the one waiting to open the door for them instead of a random servant. Dray and Samuel would have shared a loving smile at one another before Dray and Bella winked at each other knowingly and each kissed one of Samuel’s cheeks before all three went off into the carriage together to start their new life.”
Speedwagon listened to his words intently, looking positively riveted by the story. “That sounds beautiful, Jojo! Do y’ still ‘ave a copy with those scenes? I’d love t’ read ‘em some time.”
“Certainly.” He replied with a grin. “Would you like me to bring them to the set during the first rehearsal?”
“Hm..I’d rather not wait that long..” Speedwagon reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen. He then proceeded to write something on his coffee cup as he talked. “Tell y’ what, seein’ as we live so close t’ each other, ‘ow ‘bout we just meet up ‘ere again sometime?” He brought the cup to his lips and chugged the last of his drink before setting the cup down near Jonathan’s hand. “I gotta get goin’, else I’ll miss work, but I usually keep me phone on me.” He gave Jonathan a wink as he stood up and grabbed the rest of his trash before walking away. “Be seein’ y’, Jojo.”
Jonathan’s face heated up again from the wink. “F-Farewell for now, Speedwagon.” He managed a wave and a smile, feeling really shy and screaming at himself internally because DID HE REALLY JUST STUTTER LIKE THAT?!!
Once Speedwagon was out of sight, Jonathan looked back down at the coffee cup and grabbed it. He turned it around until he saw that Speedwagon had written his phone number along the side of it along with a message:
“You’re really cute and I like listening to you talk. Looking forward to doing it again sometime- maybe here, or maybe somewhere else? ;) <3 –Speedwagon”
The heat that had previously been burning at his cheeks blossomed into a full-fledged blush that encompassed both of his cheeks and his ears, leaving his face very red.
So, he wasn’t the only one feeling something? That was good to know…
<-Previous Chapter Next Chapter->
End Notes: That's all I have for now, but will post more when I eventually get the chance x3
Also, for anyone curious about the names of the characters from the play, they're all synonyms or close-enough names to the characters from the regular universe because I am half-lazy and half-bad taste in humor x3
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