#im gonna be honest i dont know what the fuck is happening because i havent watched this yet

[arthurtaylorlester]

RETURN OF THE KING: MALEVOLENT LIVEBLOG EPISODE 37 THE FARM

spoilers (you already know)

back at it with some humming!

JOHN MY BELOVED !!!! youre so bitchy i love him

HES SO PETTY HELP

harpers hill mention omg (harpers hill hijinks coming soon)

“MY BOOK HMPH 😤” girl 😭😭

“i didnt realise” yes because you cant see and john is like really really dumb

it kills me that john is bitching about oscar not finding anything but like what information have you contributed in the last 3 episodes

ive missed bullying john

malevolent is a comedy and i will stand by that

mmm rain sounds

HYPNOS GREEK GOD MENTION ‼️

“can you imagine hahah” yes i can it was the best arc of the show send tweet

well you havent seen his face

whys john being so quiet all of a sudden?

OH WHAT THEFUCK I SAW RHIS COMING

“i suppose ill just watch again” SOMEONE IS A JEALOUS GIRL

arthur ignoring john….. the girls are going to DIVORCE

“not you sorry ^_^” and then he goes back to ignoring john?? girl

oh wait that was very sweet

WHAT THE FUCK I JUST TOOK ABDHDNFN

sorry arthur speaking to john like that just destroyed me

I TRUST YOU AND YOUR MY FRIEND??? IM NOT TRYING TO IGNORE YOU?? THEYRE COMMUNICATING A

“its not because i dont care 💛” “…yes?” oscar this isnt about you

poor guy though he must be so confused

arthurs tone changes so much when he speaks to john

someone get john a pair of glasses either that or he was too busy daydreaming to see the turnoff

oh of course john would want to split off because he hasnt ever seen a horror movie arthur if you die then it’s your fault for not showing him the movie 🙄

“we might have to sleep in the car” okayyyy

oh so now john wants to give him info because he deserves to know

aaaand now he doesnt want to tell him. we love a hypocritical king !!!

return of the canadian sourry

you dont need to sound so smug that he looks hurt john 😭😭

okay oscar love the existential crisis while reading very relatable

is he gonna say arthur is his purpose

oh for fucks sake

NOT THE SOFT “oscar”

ok oscar is def into arthur and arthur saying “i don’t believe in god” is like rejection. this is how unrequited blindfaith can still win.

also god believes in you? well john and kayne sure seem to believe in him for what its worth

oscar nooo dont devote yourself to arthur that never ends well

john i dont care about oscar either but you have got to stop laying it on so think jfc

john the undefeated more like john the opportunist

“woAH” same john same

oooh so john can see auras now basically?

what monster are we gonna find in the barn 👀

oh that sounds fun actually though /j

AWW I KNEW HE WAS GONNA ASK IF HE WAS OK

ok i love how prominent the dreamlands are this episode i was just thinking about how good it was

john just wants his alone time with arthur because he cant answer his questions

“i need another set of eyes” thats like the one thing john can do it must be kinda sad to like, not be able to fully do the one thing you used to be great at

“ *gasp* a forgotten one :0” john dont act like you know what that means

hey is john a forgotten one then. is he. is he though.

can everyone except arthur feel the weirdness of places

NOT THE MUSIC BOX MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND HARLAN WHEN ARE YOU GIVING US AN OST PLEASE IM BEGGIN YOU

ITS MIDNIGHT DONT GO IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT ITS RAINING YOURE BEING CHASED BY AN EDLRITCH THING

john its ok if you didnt see it you dont need to justify yourself ❤️‍🩹

john sounds almost scared to go in the basement lol

the stairs are gonna give out at a later date im calling it

what could possibly happen in the last 15 minutes

a door ajar omg is that a wtnv reference

did arthur almost die by getting crushed by a bunch of furniture

oh a barricade i know what this is about

oh happy halloween btw guys

OSCAR JUMPSCARE

my honest reaction too john

what… what did you just sink into….

oh hole in roof, cool

arthur pay attention oscar hes gonna set hjmself on fire on accident

the jarthur was too busy analysing the painting to pay attention to oscar

OH GODDAMIT ARTHRJ WHAT THE FUCK JOHN WHAT THE DAGGER? THE ONE HE SLIT HIS THROAT WITH

oh he wants to cut it off ok

jfc 7 minutes oh no

I CALLED THE STAIRS CAVING IN

GUYS HE WAS READING THE BOOK OFC HE KNOWS

question: how strong is arthur physically

“A TOWEL!” “A TOWEL?” as i said a comedy

WE GOT A “WELL DONE ORTHUR” LETS GO

you know its weird that i can handle this fine but couldnt deal with the michael torture in the woe.begone finale

NO ARTHUR ITS NOT OK

HES ISNT GOING TO MAKE IT

oh ok hes fine sort of ok

the music goes so hard again

that arthur was so scared

ok the arms alive run

or get john to arm wrestle it idk

“what thE fUCK WHAT THE FUCK” my daily vocabulary

and oscar was right :)

RUN YOU IDIOTS

arthur you could at least carry him instead of dragging him that poor poor man

i find it amusing that this mostly happened because of jarthur studying a painting and ignoring the man currently in possession of their braincells

indeed what do we do now

and thats a wrap! oh boy what an episode i have THOUGTHTS (oscar is not surviving this)

i know like maybe 2 people read this type of posts but i enjoy making and reading them back. so if youd like me to keep going with these i will :)

[w0w0zella]

um hello!!! im gonna be making a. bugbo murderstuck au Masterpost of sorts! I guess! ill format it like a q&a but im making up some of these questions myself. So lets get into it :3

this is a really long post! b careful :3

"what is murderstuck?" murderstuck is a Bugbo AU that made/am making (complicated wip status lol)! its a story that takes place a month and a bit after the events of familiar foe. Very long story short, gerbo ends up getting killed (on accident), joe then kills bugbo (On purpose) and joe seeks out thomas flyswatter for help. i have a post here that goes more into the story if you'd like to see it! vvv https://www.tumblr.com/w0w0zella/728157783124574208/ill-post-these-together-awawy-from-the-rest-of-the?source=share 

currently it is a well defined plot line that i and a couple other people have made art for,, and a work in progress fanfiction!

"why is it called "murderstuck"?"

murderstuck is actually (Believe it or not lol) a Homestuck thing! murderstuck is a specific part in act 5 act 2 of homestuck where one character kills someone and then someone else kills THEM, so i was like  Fuck yeah that makes total sense for this au. In all honesty, i just called it that cuz i needed a name to jump back to in discord for easy finding and it. Stuck i guess GIGGLES lol.

i am currently.  Semi looking for new name suggestions! so if anyone has any ideas !!!   Tell me !! Please !! I have No idea!! ((by the way, because murderstuck is already technically a thing, you need to tag murderstuck posts with #bugbo murderstuck or #bugbo murderstuck au or else it will be drowned out by all the homestuck art :3

(question by geluga on discord) "where did joe get his cleaver ? is it the same way he just happened to have an axe in episode 2 or is it from something else?"

yeah no i didnt really think out him having a meat cleaver lol. lets say thaat. umm. He got it becuase he was preparing bugbo a Yummy Meal (Steak is his Favourite or some  shit idk) !!!

i do NOT rmember why i gave him a meat cleaver aswell. If you want a Good answer, the reason i gave him a meat cleaver and not his Trusty Axe is because his axe would have been far too dull and bulky to slit bugbos throat. if you want the TRUE answer Its because i forgot he had an axe at all and thought the meat cleaver would look cool

(question by onyx on discord) "did gj feel bad after The thing or did he feel like totally justified"

AMAZING QUESTION !!!! Gradient Joe feels EXTREME remorse. of course when he looks back on it he knows why he did it, but if we're being completely honest; bugbo was immobilized. he did not need to kill bugbo. if he had killed him while bugbo was choking him, that would be a different story. but he killed him while he was backed up into a tree, immobilized and begging for his life.

he feels extremely bad ! Very extremely bad!

(question from ANON in my ASK BOX) "DUDE I LOVE YOUR AU SM RAUGHHHHH also question uhh where is hoppo in the au? we havent really heard about her"

So. During the events of this au. she is. away. like she usually is. Dont really know where! Shopping at grocery market. back at war. lost at sea. you decide. (More info on hoppo in the next question

(question by kets on discord) "uuhhmmmm what is the absolute WORST ending this au could have realistically?????????? like if it didn't end whene thomas was ocmforting joe idk :3333333"

OKAY i coudl see this one of a couple ways. First way is, bugbo wins. bugbo succeeds in choking joe to death, And now he is alone (til hoppo gets back) i said this one first cuz its probably not the worst possible thing, but i think it would be pretty terrible!

second worst would be if Joe waited for hoppo to come back instead of going to thomas for help. In my humble opinion, i think that hoppo is very stubborn and VERY loyal. so. (to me at least) it stands to reason that if hoppo came back, she would side with bugbo VERY hard. she would probably fucking hate joes guts, and that would be the worst  thing for him after everything he already went through. Maybe they would Fight too idk…

Very first worst would be if joe just straight up killed himself after killing bugbo. I could see this as a thing he contemplated, but if he actually went through with it?  Oh my god Fucking imagine. all of there corpses there for hoppo to find when she comes back. Thomas rotting away in his lair without anyone to talk to (and without knowledge of bugbos death) for years? Devastating.

other notable endings include Joe OR bugbo Killing themselves directly after gerbos death, hoppo ending up killing joe out of anger when she comes back, Or (In a silly alternate universe that We made on Disc Ord…) bugbo comes BACK to life and DRAGS himself to go kill joe HIMSELF!!!!!!

(question by DEMO on DISCORD) "is gradient joe book smart or money smart" i am going to kill myself and its your fault i think. never speak to me again (Joke)

NOTABLE INFORMATION:

as stated before, you need to tag murderstuck posts with #bugbo murderstuck or #bugbo murderstuck au or else it will be drowned out by Homestuck stuff !! i want to see all of your art and things!! Thank you!!

you are ONE HUNDRED PERCENT WELCOMED AND ENCOURAGED to make stuff surrounding this au! Please Please Show It To Me!!!

if you are drawing During Fight or. During Murdering bugbo or joe, here are some things to note! - bugbo attempts to choke joe to death during a part in the fight, and he almost succeds! This causes Permanent scarring on gradient joes neck, and scratch marks all over bugbos arms from joe clawing at them!!!

- joe ends the fight with his shirt partially open and his tie missing!

- joe breaks bugbos right leg! there is a noticable gash on his inner right knee!

- joe kills bugbo by slitting his throat with a meat cleaver!- after joe is done, he drags bugbos body over to where gerbo died! (he was crushed by the fallen Stone Structure!)

thank you all so much for the love and support with this au It means so much to me. thank you from the botom of my hart.  IF YOU HAVE ANY COOL IDEAS, MORE QUESTIONS, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANNA SHOW/TELL ME, MY MESSAGES AND ASK BOX ARE ALWAYS OPEN!!!!!!

[youredreamingofroo]

a bit of a message talking about inactivity and my possible hiatus. I dont know if this counts as a cw but i talk about depression here and there at the beginning (nothing graphic) and as usual, its a rant

im gonna be straight honest rn, i'm probably not gonna be active on tumblr for these next few days, ive been super up and down depressed and im just unmotivated and too tired to do anything, im still gonna check in here and there but dont expect me to reblog or reply to many posts, if at all. This could mark the beginning of a hiatus, but with mood swings and up and down depression, i could be back, active as ever tomorrow. Ever since ive uninstalled Sims 4, i did feel a weight lift off my shoulders, but simultaneously made me depressed due to the lack of... well... doing something, i dont... really know how to put it into words, its just something in my brain that i just cant explain, i guess a good way to put it is playing sims 4 gave me the motivation to stem off into other mediums, blender for example, gave me something to do, something to learn, and while i can still use blender, i just get progressively slower and slower at doing stuff in it because of my limited resources, some scenes i want to do require specific outfits and i dont have the facilities to make those outfits... i mean i probably do but i just dont feel motivated to do all that. I still play other games, ive been playing a lot of slime rancher 2 and have been trying to branch out to other games (indie games and bigger games), I want to post gameplay but if youve seen me rant about tumblr before, one of my biggest gripes is just how fucking annoying it is to upload images, so i just get completely unmotivated to post images/gameplay especially if its just some silly post. if uh if anyone is still reading this, ill be honest, i havent even been motivated to write about WAS at all, probably havent touched the planning doc in about 2 weeks. This... 'spiral'... has been noticeable for me for the last week as my sleep schedule gets swapped around from sleeping at night and awake during the day... to sleeping during the day and awake at night, this is all my fault, but its also just something that happens rotationally for me, i go from sleeping VERY early in the evening (6PM at the earliest) and waking at VERY early times in the morning (4AM at the latest) to sleeping VERY late in the morning (6AM at the earliest) and waking up late in the evening (3PM at the latest), i dont really know what causes the shift, but it happens, and i often blame myself for it even though i dont know what causes it...

anyways sorry, this will probably mark a very iffy hiatus, like i said ill be active but not... super active, i didnt check tumblr at all yesterday/monday, so thats kind of the pattern to expect from me depending on the day. In the meantime... i might try to get back into older sims games, ive mentioned this before, but i do have sims 1 on my laptop so maybe ill post stupid little gameplay posts from there (granted i havent played in like... a month 😐). I'll probably put up a poll after this post for people to vote on which sims game i should play- i KNOW i did it once before but im probably gonna do it again cuz i cant find the post and i have over 1000 posts 😭

if you read thus far, thank you for sticking around, if your a random person who read this for no reason... thanks? if your a follower of mine and cant understand where im coming from with this lengthy post, see yourself out or deal with it 🙃 otherwise, thank you all and i will be lurking about

[sentientgopro]

So, the other day, I told the first other person I know IRL that I cracked, over a month after it happened, and it was, well, weird.

The reason for it being this person in particular was that I know, damn well, they get it. Hell, they're a massive egg themselves, their words, not mine. So I knew if I was gonna tell anyone, they had to be first.

I didn't wanna outright bring it up to them if I could avoid it, so I started with small hints every now and again, like being a little too careless with keeping my phone close to me while I had an r/egg_irl or r/traaaaaa... post on my feed. They commented on it when they saw egg irl, I told them Im not an egg, they looked at me as if to say "yeaahhh sure about that buddy" and I followed up by saying an egg is someone who hasn't realised it, And I realised a month ago.

Idk if I wasn't clear enough, it was kinda loud in the room, of whether they thought I was joking, but they didn't really react to it at the time.

It wasn't until we went on a walk to get lunch a week or so later, and they kinda got into something a bit personal out of the blue, and it really set the tone of "we dont normally talk about shit but we can do that right now." As it goes, the thing they were talking about could feed kinda well into me being more upfront with what I was trying to say. I repeated the same "Im not an egg" trick I did last time but clearer, and we had a back and forth exchange of

"But In a cis way right?"

"No."

"But in a-"

"No."

"...

...

...But in a-"

"no."

and it kinda seemed to catch them off guard a bit, being so upfront with what I was saying. As I said, they say themself that they're a massive egg, as a joke, ofcourse. But I think they were so suprised by me doing that because they feel the same way but are down so many layers deep in "in a cis way, still cis tho". And it kinda makes me wonder if me being so upfront and honest with myself about it will help them be honest to themself. Either way, I feel like I'm starting to read too much into someone elses emotions and make assumptions based on nothing.

Other than the initial suprise, they didn't really react much and have much else to say, and I really think thats a good outcome? Like, they get my situation, I can't start transitioning for a while, so they understand that I'm not really trans yet, Im just telling them how I feel, and kinda reacted like that was the case. The most they said was when I was talking about how I just kinda gotta manage it for now until I can move out and they said "Fuck it, we ball" and I was just like. Exactly, you get exactly what I mean.

So its weird, because while it feels like a massive deal to me and feels kinda anticlimactic, I dont really want to be treated like its a massive deal yet? Because really, nothing has or will change for a long time, and thats part of the reason I havent come out to more people yet, because its just gonna be awkward to continue like I never said anything afterwards. But this was good.

So, this has been a fairly aimless log just generally talking about my first experience kinda coming out as trans (not my first experience of coming out, plenty of people know Im Ace) so I wanted to write down my thoughts on it. After so many posts like this, it still feels kinda silly, but I guess the whole point of blogs is that theyre kinda like public diaries? idk.

Its also worth noting this was part of one of my 3 goals for this year, to start kinda coming out to people. I doubt Ill tell anyone else, maybe one other person I can trust, but idk. As for the other 2, I really havent made a great deal of progress with planning my transition, but thats fine, its January. As for "100%ing Celeste to the best of my ability?" Kind already done after 40hrs and just over a month of having it. I thought thatd take me alot longer lmfao. So, update to that one, lets say, Strawberry Jam done up to expert lobby? Sure, why not.

[calkale]

I'd love to hear more of your thoughts in re mi7, cause most of the responses to the movie that I've come across have been positive (which clashes with the way I see it....) and I really agree about the negatives you mentioned (stunts being underwhelming even though they're the trademark of the series, the literal main character being neglected in favor of someone who's appearing in the series for the first time and whose biggest credit is that fuckass cgi disaster excuse for a multiverse movie- fr I had to look Hayley Atwell up to see what she'd even been in- and the long-standing supporting cast including luther, who'd been there since the beginning, just being discarded by the script like litter out of a car window). also it'd be cool to hear about smaller details cause often something is really off about a script and it kinda ruins the whole thing but you don't really know what it was till afterwards, and with new releases you can't rewatch or discuss it with much of anyone else (again, all there is are column reviews and stuff and they're mostly the same and very general on account of staying spoiler-free ).

Okay gonna be honest i havent looked at a single review or post about this movie other than the ilsa one i reblogged this morning cause im still so upset over it. Thank you for sending this ask cause i felt so alone lmao im glad someone agrees with my thoughts.

I hate them for making hayley the main character, if these are the last two movies, which it feel like they are, ethan and luther should really be the main characters along with benji and ilsa, not some new character. All for adding new characters and hayley couldve been in the start of the movie she had a place there she was the thief but after that she literally just took ilsas spot as the “woman of the team” as well as ethans spot in the spotlight.

This movie also seems to go against a lot of things ive heard mcq say in interviews, i cant source them cause i dont remember which ones theyre from but he’s talked about not over explaining things in movies and hes talked about not not wanting a strong female lead thats exactly like what hayelys character is in this movie. The over explaining thing happens SO FUCKING MUCH in this movie i was so bored and it just made me more lost because there was all this information i was taking in CONSTANTLY and i was trying to remember what character was doing what and who they were and it was just too much. I get this movie is probably more of a set up for part two but now we have all this shit we need to remember for part two and i dont even really wanna see it if im being honest, i will but if its anything like part one i know im gonna be disappointed again especially if its going in the direction i think its going.

Ive been trying to remember a lot of the smaller details that i noticed when watching it but a lot of them were part of bigger issues anyway so i just kinda grouped them together. Ill talk about the plot tho cause i knew i was gonna hate it but i didnt know id hate it for this reason. In other mi movies theyre doing the things they do because they have no other choice, in this movie it felt like there were so many choices that couldve been made and they didnt even talk about them it was just we’re doing this and thats it. Like on the train there were definitely better ways of doing that and i get there were short on time but that was almost exactly like the burj khalifa scene. Short on time, cant make a mask, need to meet with someone to make a deal. I just feel like there was so much more that they couldve done with that and the cliff jumping stunt and they just didnt do anything it was so underwhelming.

Going off of that a lot of things in this movie just didnt make sense to me and/or didnt need to be there, the ai villain?? Honestly couldve been cut completely, yes it was creepy but it didnt like actually do anything? everything it did couldve easily just been garbiel messing with the team and that wouldve also given paris more screen time (which i really would’ve liked i loved her character). As much as i loved briggs and degas they also didnt really need to be there? Dont get me wrong they were one of the things i really loved about this movie especially degas but there was really no point in them being there.

The main focus of the movie should have just been getting the keys and destroying them so no one can use the weapon that was on the sub, the ai did not need to be a part of it, someone couldve found the untraceable sub because this is fucking mission impossible!! Thats what happens in these movies!! The impossible!! Im grabbing tom cruise by the shoulders and shaking him nothing impossible happened in this movie

The submarine scene at the start also bothered me. I was fully expecting that to be the big stunt at the start of the movie i was really excited i was constantly like omg wheres ethan, i thought the torpedo or missile they saw on the radar was ethan and that was him entering the sub and something was gonna happen but no, not even close. Not a bad opening just not what i expected and that kinda made it bad.

This is an absolute mess of a post my apologies i have much more to say but i need to get back to drawing benji

[majjiktricks]

9, 10, 17 for MGS

ehehe ty for sending in ^_^

metal gear:

9. worst part of canon i feel like im beating a dead horse a little with how much i talk about how i dont like mgs4 LMAO i watched that "mgs4 was a mistake" video and that guy really makes a lot of good points. but i think the worst part is that mgs4 really doesnt feel like any of the other metal gear games before it because it lacks a distinct set of villains. and i think that makes it boring. literally they couldve done anything else. anyone else as the villains. but they decided to reuse concepts from previous games instead of coming up with the cohesive group of villains that makes sense for the story. even mgr follows the same pattern as 1-3, and look how fucking awesome that was! we didnt know who a single one of those guys was before the game came out and yet theyre probably some of the most iconic villains in the entire series. and they make sense for the story and setting. the beauty and beast unit MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. NOR DO I CARE ABOUT THEM BECAUSE THEY ARENT INTERESTING AT ALL. i know pw and v dont really follow that pattern either, and i like those games much more, so obviously thats not my ONLY problem with mgs4, but its definitely one of the bigger ones. at least pw and v were FUN. 10. worst part of fanon im gonna be honest my experience with the metal gear fandom has been incredibly pleasant and positive. theres not a lot that makes me mad in fan interpretations. probably the only thing ive seen thats fucking stupid is when people take kaz and make him kind of?? the moral high ground???? in bbkaz divorce. no he fucking wasnt LOL kaz didnt leave bb because he realized bb was a bad person or doing bad things (i think he knew that already and didnt care. hes also a bad person who does plenty of bad things). he left because he was no longer treated like an equal to bb and he didnt like it. thankfully the people i interact with all see it the same way. if someone talked to me and tried to argue something else i would explode. or any of the dudebro homophobic shit. if youre denying queer characters' existence when its explicitly stated in text. youre just a fucking idiot.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art i havent done much of a deep-dive into mgs fic so i dont actually know whats common/uncommon but i do really like it when a fic takes a character who originally wasnt part of the situation and puts them into the situation. writing them into the story while still remaining relatively canon-compliant. some of my favorite examples of this come out of the yakuza fandom, where the character put into the story is there for their own development, or to expand upon a part of the lore that doesnt really get touched on by canon, rather than the character's overarching impact on the media's story as a whole (because in order to remain canon-compliant they dont DRASTICALLY change things, but what they do/affect can change the meaning of what ultimately happens, etc). ive seen a few things about kaz lives and joins philanthropy and i really would love to see a long fic about that and how he helps them. i also really enjoy in-between-games nonsense. i wanna see all the shenanigans everyone's up to. post-mgs3 filler with bb and ocelot, 70s kaz and ocelot building DD, between 2 and 4 philanthropy. i love me some good fun filler <3

more questions here!

[fefairys]

11, 17, and 49 for the ask game!! :3

you didn't specify so im doing EVERYONE under the cut bc this is a lot. i got way too into the logistics of the first question sorry. this answer got so so fucking long holy shit. this is what happens when u let me talk about these guys

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

now this is an interesting question cause not to give away the secrets but at least 4 of these bitches have powers that u cant just replicate and it would immediately be obvious to anyone who's close with them... i wonder if in the question, impersonation accounts for stuff like that? we also don't know what these impersonators know about the characters in question.. maybe you could ask fake!Psy something as simple as "do you like cats?" and they'd fuck up right there!

we have to assume that they know enough to impersonate them on a superficial level, mimicking their speech and mannerisms, and have at least a basic knowledge of their hobbies and interests and day-to-day life and likes and dislikes if they actually want to fool anyone, right? so lets assume that much, i suppose.

im kind of stuck on the powers thing. dunno how someone would just mimic that kind of thing, but i also dont want to just say out loud the parts of these characters that are supposed to be more like subtext? but if they're such a close copy that they even have their powers, then they must know everything about them, too, so that's TOO close of a copy for the purposes of this question.

alright im just gonna ignore all that and give you the answers i think are funniest.

if someone was impersonating psy, they'd simply use their powers to knock them out or something. lets also assume psy cant help for the rest of these because otherwise its just like "psy reads their mind and knows immediately"

for melody im imagining some shit like that scene from adventure time where finn asks pb to prove that she's real to recite what she wrote on his birthday card two(?) years ago, word for word, and shes like "finn how could i possibly remember that?" and he's like "🥺i remember......" that would be jett trying to figure out who's the real melody lmao ok but how would they actually discern this... lol ask about the lore of her Galaxy's Oath Online character :') there u go <3 (if u dont know what galaxys oath online is bc u havent read every single ask on the blog dont worry about it u will know next chapter)

for jett just give him super specific death note trivia. it can practically recite the entire series from memory and has read the manga and novellas like at least 5 times each if not more. u could literally be like "whats the first word Light says in episode 16 of death note?" and he wouldn't even have to think about it for that long he'd just know.

tate... well as of now i dont think any of his friends know him well enough for this to be honest with you (sad), but like, his sister could probably do it. ask him the name of the first boy he had a crush on because he was ANNOOOOOYYYING about that.

for guy, ask him what his plans are for the day. i think that would work. he has everything planned out down to like the fucking second so he can be fuckin everywhere at once.

probably shouldn't answer these for conner and rotom right now </3

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

ok well first of all what do *i* notice when i look in the mirror hold on. ok i just checked. answer is my eyebrows. would not have known that just in general lmao so this is a tricky question bc i would never think about something like this

psy - they hate looking in the mirror and avoid it as much as possible. i cant imagine them focusing on any one feature, honestly. its like a blur to them. they dont want to see it at all. what do most people notice? hm. idk im thinking about the two times they've appeared in my dreams as a real person and what i first Noticed and it was their glasses im pretty sure. Defining Characteristic...

melody - definitely her smile she loves her lips and her smile she will smile at herself in the mirror all day. i think other people also notice her smile first if they're further away, but close up they probably notice her pink color contacts haha those are pretty striking

jett - when it looks in the mirror it immediately is checking the Hair to see if it needs touching up. very important. other people also definitely notice his hair first and foremost because i mean look at it.

tate - first, his eyes + mole (its a package deal) but he's p vain and can just stare at himself in the mirror forever, just his whole face, checkin himself out cuz hes soooo hot. other people notice the mole under his eye, its pretty striking. i was gonna say hair cuz its fucking ourple but like jett already got hair lets do something different. (dante wrote this one lol)

guy - he notices his eyes + eyebrows first. he got those big bushy eyebrows that stand out, and beautiful dark brown eyes..... other people usually notice his Arms first. (dante wrote this one as well 😎)

conner - his freckles he loves his freckles :) other people first notice how short he is because he's 5 feet tall hehe

rotom - lips or nose... other people probably notice faer fucking full facepaint xe always wears lol. more specifically the lips bc it wears black lipstick so that catches the eye

49. Would they eat something they find gross to be polite? psy - hell fucking no melody - she would at LEAST take a bite and if she hates it she'd politely be like "its just not for me ^.^;;" jett - no lol it'd be like "im autistic i cant eat this sorry" tate - depends on the person he'd be disappointing if he didn't like it... like in some cases he'd be like "that looks yuckydisgusting im not eating that" and in other cases he'd be like "mmm!! s-sooo good!*gags*" guy - same as melody. he'd probably give it more than one bite though just to make sure, like, maybe it'll be better on the second bite? maybe if i keep eating it it'll get good? he might eat like a quarter of it before giving up conner - absolutely. always. rotom - fuck no lol

[neteyamsilly]

Okay so yeah as I said I'd be back later, and I am back ( yeah very late lolz) So how are you???? Hope everything is alr? Okie so god, Jake seems pissed, the fatherly rage and all. He gon fuck up the person that dare interrupted this moment. Like my man was finally having a heart felt moment and finally realized his mistakes ( at long last) and was trying to correct them, but no, it can't happen not so soon anyways. Like this guy, I kinda feel bad for us when this old father was finally admitting his mistakes, some douchebag had to ruin it. like I can imagine the us goin "Aye U mf, this bish was finally, finally apologizing and u had to ruin it didn't you? Leave my father man I'll fuck you up, dumb bitch couldn't handle bein humiliated by dad and mom once that you come back again for more?"

I WANT NEYETIRI'S REACTION FOR THE NAME JACK, AND I SAW SM1 IN YOUR ASKS SAYING THE NAME JACK THE CANNIBAL. AND I LOVED IT WHOEVER HAD THAT IDEA. I CAN IMAGINE NEYETIRI GOING- SHE'S TOO MUCH OF A COPY LIKE HER FATHER- Like bro but god I re-read it again all the parts and I cried, an emotional wreak, the lucid dreaming? oh it felt so true, like it was not a part of ur fiction but the actual movie. This is how good your writing is. Okie so as you said we are heading to the Metkayina Clan. I want a lil info if psbl. Is she gonna fall in love with one of the Metkayinan Boy or Girl? I've never, ever been obsessed with a piece of Fiction so damn bad as this one. I'm addicted to this man, what you write hits right in the damn feels. Love you <33 AND YEE PAY FOR MY AND OTHER'S THERAPY BILLS. IMMA SEND MINE NEXT.

FIRST OF ALL NO I CANNOT PAY FOR ANY THERAPY I CANT EVEN AFFORD MYSELF 💀💀💀

AND totally uncalled for TMI but i wanna complain a bit,,,, I started my period today and things suck it hurts. the radiator in my room also broke down and im cold its winter here. but like. im happy regardless bc i have you guys<3 constantly am reminded there's a small crowd out there on the internet who love me (maybe) and my writing so im cheered up instantly. yes im being cheesy im on my period EXCUSE ME

MOVING ON THOUGH i want to say that man was one of the recombinants in quaritch's squad that wasn't quite killed and only wounded. the rest of his squad got extraction but he didn't, so that's how he made his way to the tree of souls trying to navigate the forest. i didnt really gave context to how sister!reader's rescue went because she was very focused on herself and her claustrophobic panic at the moment but YEAH I thought it'd be cool to establish a bit of a butterfly effect HSHSJDS ur gonna see what jake does with him it's going to be interesting

(ALSO THANK YOU AQSA TO THINK ITS THAT DESCRIPTIVE AND CLEAR THAT YOU COULD LUCID DREAM AHHHHSDSDBSJKDBK)

OOF to be honest i only have bits and pieces for the metkayina plot. if i were to write about it i think i'd do just headcanons? i dont have a lot tbh,,,,, nothing is set in stone at the moment. for the romance i have ideas i entertain, sister!reader is a character who can have interesting dynamics with everyone due to her personality. i havent really planned anything at all so i just dont know. i really am planning to leave the ending ambiguous sorry AHAHAH

[lunarifie]

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

Skybound 1-2

Im gonna be completely honest, out of all the seasons, I remember skybound the most

Maybe because it was the first time the series took Jay away from the comedic role and gave him development

I need everyone to stop calling Nya ‘sweetheart’ or im going to explode them with my mind

OH WAIT I FORGOT

THIS IS THE SEASON THEY GET FAMOUS

I was so caught up on pirates, genies, and Jay being an idiot that i forgot that was a huge factor

I remember I really hated dareth this season

Dareth: Your a boy band! A hunk machine! You dont need a girl in the group!

All the ninja: 😐😑😐

They really called him out on his bullshit

Cole wants nothing to do with the love triangle 😭

God I remember hating this famous ninja thing

Theres was so much second hand embarrassment I had to endure, and now I have to do it all over again

So much unneeded drama

Like yeah, i want the ninja to have recognition, but I dont want them to become popstars 💀

just for them to be appreciated for doing their JOBS

Cole got so giddy learning he can disappear :)

Jay and Zane have weekly chess game nights its canon because I said so

I love happy Cole, yes, your a ghost but your living your best life, LIKE YOU SHOULD.

Cole: remember back in the tomb of the first spinjitzu master? When we all saw the reflections of out future selves?

Cole: When I couldnt see anything, it wasnt because I was a goner! It was because I could disappear!!! (Strikes a pose and disappears) :D

Jay: ohhhh then why dont you make like a ghost and VANISH. 🙄

Hhfkdndjfnd

Be nicer to him Jay 😭

Zane: you still havent told him about the reflection of you and nya, have you?

Jay: And ruin our friendship? No thanks.

I can promise you, Cole couldnt give two shits about having a romantic relationship with Nya. Nonetheless FIGHT you over it

Jay: Either way, she made up her mind. Its just, seeing us together, its all I can think about.

Damn.

Honestly, Nyas anger directed towards Jay is completely valid. If I was perceived by the media as merely an object or prize to be won I’d be fuming.

Its so funny that Kai is all about this ‘fame’ thing. Being the poster board face for lego ninjago at the beginning and having the most merchandise

CLOUSE!

I love reoccurring characters even if Clouse is a little bitch

Misako: They’re growing up…

Wu: Yes, but I like to think ninjago would fall apart without us.

Valid.

its nice to feel wanted

Nya: Are you sending out a CHIRP?!?!?

Kai: UH, my followers have wants too!!!!

KAI GODDAMMIT.

Purple ninja my beloved

I love little kids helping the ninja its my favorite thing

Nya: how long did it take you to make that gi?

Purple ninja: when youve broken both your legs, you have a lot of time on your hands 😊 (slams into an exit door)

Wait wait wait wait

THIS is the rooftop. THE ROOFTOP WHERE JAYA HAPPENS!!!!

Jay: We’re a team! We stick together!

Nya: thanks. But i can stick up for myself.

Cole: He was just trying to be nice 😒

Jay: Dont worry! Its just our ‘first fight’ :)

JAY. CMON DUDE.

Nyas allowed to be stingy but dont take it out on Jay 😭

Coles literally telling Nya to take Jays hand hes had enough of this bullshit 💀

Doesn’t clouse get screwed over by this genie?

Ah, excuse me. Djinn.

I forgot how Cole turns human again but if its anything like Clouses traumatically painful cries of agony then maybe he should stay a ghost…

Kais figurines are actually really cute.

Zane and Lloyd: No traces of clouse…

Yeah bc hes fucking dead

Its common knowledge now that ninjago is one of the 16 realms??? Like citizens know??? That would drive me absolutely insane.

Nadakhan: Delara died?!?

Cyrus borg as the infobot: died, expired, rot, tint, kicked the bucket-

Hfjsbfjsntbr

Cyrus borg: I cant tell you where the realm crystal is! But i can tell you who has it! And where THEY are!

Me: 😐😑😐

Man in stiix: No one here cares for them fruit-colored ninja.

Cole: Um! 🤨 excuse me 😠 what fruit is black 🙄

Jay: blackberries?

Cole:

Cole: shut it jay.

SO THIS IS WHEN THEYRE ALL SEEN AS CRIMINALS

But wtf does nadakhan have to do with this? Can he do illusions or some shit?

NOOOO NOT JAYS PARENTS STOP

I feel like my soul was ripped out at how sad they looked

Nya comforting Jay after he sees his disappointed parents 🥹

Chief: the ninja are at large, they are armed and dangerous. And—and. (Squinting at his script) they have, legs?

Chief: Call law enforcement so we can apprehend them.

Zane, dialing law enforcement: Hello? Law enforcement?

Lloyd: Zanewhatareyoudoing-

Zane: I am programmed to obey the law 🤨 I need to tell them our location.

Stiix citizens: arent you all those ninjas?

Jay: HAHA! Nope! We’re that other group that has a nindroid, a ghost, and a girl…

hfjsjfndjsdhdisnr

Kai: six against six, at least its an even number.

Lloyd: were not gonna fight citizens KAI.

Kai: … dammit…

Jay: how are we supposed to fight back??!?!? Witty banter!?!?!?!

Zane: Statistically your witty banter usually gets us into more trouble 😄

Love how Coles hoodie makes him look more ghostly

Awwwwww nya allowed jay to help her

Theyre growing :)

People of stiix calling them the fruit-colored ninja is the greatest thing

If Lego had the balls they’d call them the fruity ninja

THE CHIEF GOT MISAKO?!?!?

RONIN.

THE NINJA TRUSTED YOU YOU ASSHOLE

This is actually so interesting, i remember the ninja being framed for crimes but I forgot it was this season. And right after they were famous and beloved nonetheless.

Wait is Wu inside Djinns bottle??? Like Clouse???

Misakos so smart she already knows who nadakhan is 😌

Okay but WHY dont they believe misako and the ninja

Like is it THAT hard to believe that a past enemy the ninja defeated can create illusions, and might want revenge????

Do the police legitimately believe, the ninja, known for being stealthy and cunning, are just gonna GIVE their status on social media?????

I guess a clues a clue right

Man they dont give Nya ANY credit. That was obviously her bracelet on the rat too. It was HER plan. Not Kais 😒

Jay. Ik your not this stupid. Nya just said a djinn is bad news. Trust your future girlfriend on this one buddy.

Jay: I know from my reflection that we end up together! Maybe a wish is how!

I mean… hes not wrong.

Lloyd: then we’ll find Djinn in pairs so he cant pick us off.

Jay: (immediately goes to Nyas side with a huge smile)

Cole (popping out of nowhere): Yeah yeah! And Jay and I can look for clues at the scene of the crime where he framed us!

Cole: What do you say buddy, just like old times?

Jay: haha sweeeeeet. Who doesnt like old times 🙃

Kai and Nya: sibling team

Jay and Cole: Bruise team

Lloyd and Zane: actually-get-shit-done team

RONIN YOU ASS

I refuse to believe ronins smart enough to hack into Zanes system.

This must be so scary for Lloyd to just watch his friend go braindead

Dont-mention-Nya-every-time-your-on-screen challenge. Try it out Ronin.

He sucks so much.

Hes a cool villain though.

Ronins really catching them all like pokemon huh

Jay: its the amusement park! So many fond memories. Thats where I unlocked my true potential! Oh oh! And theres where Nya and I had out first date. I bet we’ll laugh about this in the future :)

Cole: ?

Jay: I meaaaaaan, why would she laugh about that! She hates me. 😀

Your giving yourself away Jay

Cole: The djinn can shape-shift! He could be anybody!

Jay: 😨

Jay:

Jay: (sticks his hand through ghost Cole)

Cole:…

Cole: seriously?

Jay: just needed to make sure 😊

RONIN.

Cole after hearing his friends are all captured:

Jay, at ronin: HA! You think u can electrically tie the master of lightning!

Ronin, pointing a cannon gun: Yeah but are you the master of kabloowey 🤨

Cole: You cant see me!!! Im a ghost! Am i here? Or over here!?!? HAHAHA

Ronin: I have thermal vision Cole. 😐

Cole: you do…? (Gets captured)

Ronin really DID catch them all…

The chief: Ninjago is safe once again!

I hope the chief gets fired.

[butch-bakugo]

Not to be an ass but yeah...

This lesbian was assaulted.... This trans woman was found dead.... Bi women get beat up on trains and are more likely to be hurt by their male partners than straight women..... This trans man died defending lesbians in germany.... These gay men are in camps in russia... This nonbinary person was killed.....

Amazing how you hear about violence aginest gay and trans people but i litterally cant find a single vetted article that shows violence aginest aro/ace pple for "aphobia". Like its always these excuses;

Aroaces face corrective rape! the "corrective rape" was not corrective and happend because the aroace person said no to sex and it was just mysogny because the aro/ace person was afab n would you look at that, the rapist was a cis man. Thats mysogny. Not to mention 80% of aro/ace people are cis women, trans men and afab nonbinary people aka the people raised litterally taught from birth that sex is not something for them to enjoy and they exist to please.

Doctors consider lack of sexual/romantic attraction to be a symptom instead of an orientation! Because lacking the desire for sex and relationships is a hallmark sign of trauma, abuse and mental illness. Its litterally symptom #1 to struggle with sex and commitment when your traumatized and ive litterally never met a not-traumatized aro/ace. I know this because im a traumatized aro/ace and no, "aphobia" isnt traumatic. Honestly, even if your aro/ace as a result of trauma, thats valid, just make sure your healing and that your honest about it.

Well, when i wore my ace pin, someone called me a queer! Thats a sign that me, being cisgender and heteroromantic asexual, am really queer! Experiencing misplaced oppression at the hands of homophobic and transphobic people dosent suddenly make you gay or trans. Also, they dont know what any of the flags mean so why tf would they care that you dont fuck unless its Tuesday? They just assume all little pins with a bunch of colored stripes mean child groomer gay pedo tranny, not demiaroace or wtf ever. They litterally only hate you because they assume you fuck the same gender or dont identify as ur brith sex. Thats it. It also dosent help that you go running around saying "im SOOO gay" and "im such a dirty little queer." When you are neither. When you say ur gay, they are gonna think ur gay. If they know ur cis and het and dont have sex, they dont give a fuck.

Well, your theory falls apart that aro/aceness is mostly brought on by trauma and mysogny when trans women, amab enbies and cis man aro/aces exist! Ok, you still havent disproven my point because 1. transfems and amab enbies usually have gender dysphoria which, speaking from my own experiences, complicates sex and makes it harder. Gender dysphoria is a mental illness and unless you bring to me 5 examples of cis het men who identify as aroace, you dont get to use them as a gotcha. Ive been gay for almost 10 years and ive still never met one, online or irl.

I also never stated that aro/aceness was purely brought on by trauma/mental illness and mysogny, its something that can just naturally happen. Ive just never seen it genuinely happen. Usually the person has trauma/mental illness or is afab or is trans or all three. All of these things, according to proven psychology, can affect the sex drive, attraction and desire for committed relationships.

Thats why every aro/ace you see is either really young and in pain, still healing from trauma or is older and admits to holding on out of spite or admit that its trauma related. There are always gonna be exceptions but unless those excepts make up more than 25% of a thing, im not considering it something totally stand alone. Its also why every ex-aro/ace carries the same story: they identified with it when they were younger and healing from some traumatic shit, they got older and got help, they healed and magically they werent adverse to sex and relationships. That dosent happen with gay pple or trans pple usually. Like 70% of today's aro/ace people are allo 5 years later. If not 5, then 90% by 10 yrs. If not 10, then 99% by 20 yrs.

Its not a coincidence. Adversity towards sex and relationships usually has a foot in the graves of social oppression, trauma/abuse and mental illness. Usually once someone feels empowered by their minority status, heals from their trauma and copes with their mental illnesses, they arnt aro/ace anymore. I speak from experience watching pple i knew when i was 13 go from traumatized and a "romance and sex repulsed" aroace transmasc nonbinary kid who hates allos and gags at sex scenes to being 20 and seeing them all just be ur average bisexual transmasc nonbinary person who kisses and fucks like everybody else. They might throw an arospec or acespec label in their like demi- or -flux but its usally just labels that mean that they are normal person who dosent fuck on sight or isnt always thinking about sex.

Im not saying that every incident of aro/aceness is a result of trauma/abuse, mental illness and bigotry but i am saying that coming to terms with that shit usually makes someone less aro/ace. Im also mentioning how many times ive seen aro/ace people throw out excuse after excuse and label after label that all boil down to telling someone to stop getting therapy and just identify as this because "all labels are vaild and inate to you. You'll always be this." Then they mob you when you get help and openly say your not aroace anymore and ur labled a "traitor" who "wasnt an actual aroace and is just a troll" cause you dare to talk about rhw toxicity and fandomization the aroace communities suffer from. I know this cause im aroace and i dont touch those communities with a 10ft pole. Aint happening. I see a person with a demigreyromantic pin and i turn the other way hopeing to got they didnt see my aro one cause i refuse to talk to pple like that.

The definitions of romance and sex are fluid for a reason and just because you think you dont fit the societal definition of a "average amount of sexual and romantic attraction" dosent mean ur right about society and dosent make you akiocupioangleddemiaroacefluxspike, i promise. All these bajillion labels fall apart the moment you mention that its completely natural for a human's desire for sex and romantic partnership is supposed to fluxuate over the course of your life and multiple things influence it. Im not opposed to microlabels and sexuality modifiers and other things people do in an attempt to find community with others who have the same experiences as them and i never have but what i am saying is that little shit like that dosent oppress you on a societal scale and never has and to think critically about yourself and others to understand that what your feeling isnt always the truth and emotions can betray you.

You arent always a trustworthy person and its always best to make long term decisions on a full stomache, a mid mood, in clean clothes and plenty of energy with enough time to be sure. Quick decisions can fuck you up and the amount of spite and toxicity coming from the aroace communities when you even so much as glance critically at them is worth a few months of deliberation before you go in full speed. Just dont come crying to the normal aroaces when you hit a brick wall 5 ft in and get bombarded with cishet sob stories of people who lost their partner cause they didnt disclose their aroace status, cupcakes and dragons, the gay dads kicked me out copypasta and a bajillion people claiming that their oppressed with their only sources being "trust me bro" and " how dare you question my experiences". If you arnt 100% informed, ur on a hundred blocklists just for mentioning that you dont like the ace flag or some meaningless shit like that.

Trust me, dont bother.

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde

Act 5, page 3896-3904

TG: i remember waking up here

TG: after getting shot

TT: Yes.

TT: What else?

TG: then the cage bunny came

TG: he gave us the bomb

TG: whered he go anyway

TT: She's around.

TG: the bunnys a she

TT: Her name is Liv Tyler.

TG: dumb

TT: Take it up with John.

TT: What else?

TG: we were talking about who should go

TT: Do you remember what we decided?

TG: no

TG: wait

TG: wasnt i going to go

TG: is that what happened did i go and now im dead

TT: Not quite.

TG: whats not quite

TG: that i didnt go or that im not dead

TT: Do you remember anything else?

TG: no

TT: What about why you went to fight Jack?

TG: sure

TG: i did that

TG: because i wanted to

TG: and because i was supposed to

TT: Are you sure?

TG: yeah i saw my future self fighting him so obviously that had to happen or else id be dead anyway

TG: without even getting the satisfaction of standing up to him

TT: So was your decision a result of desire or obligation?

TG: hard to explain

TG: with all the time shit going on

TG: i dont try to understand your light shit do i

TT: I don't know much about the Light Shit, to be honest.

TT: I may have missed my chance to figure it out.

TG: havent we had this conversation already

TT: Mostly.

TT: I'm doing what I can to jog your memory.

TG: its jogging i guess

TG: its manboobs are jiggling a little

TT: Nice.

TT: So what about Jade?

TG: what

TT: You didn't tell her your expedition with her would result in your death, let alone one she'd inadvertently cause.

TT: Or that she'd be stuck with the job of resuscitating you. Did you?

TG: what am i really supposed to say

TG: hey were gonna hunt frogs til you shoot me through the jack

TG: then i die and youve got to make out with me

TG: that kind of changes how the whole thing goes doesnt it

TT: Not if you're "supposed to," right?

TG: what does that even mean

TT: I guess you're right. No reason to make an effort to empathize if doing so comes at the price of oblivion.

TG: wtf

TT: It must be comforting to have your ASPD tacitly supported by predestination.

TG: aspd

TT: Antisocial personality disorder.

TG: oh no

TG: this conversation just got bumrushed by a mudslide of fucking awful

TT: It wasn't already awful, believing you might be dead?

TG: you dont know anything

TG: about what i was feeling or what happened on lofaf

TG: you were all pavement faced and babbling your throefester speak and flipping off the shit with your own crazy deathwish thing why do you think you know what was going through my head

TG: youre just assuming and throwing around psyche buzzwords like aspd complex disorder

TT: So it's a disorder, a complex, and then a disorder again for good measure?

TG: in your case probably

TT: Sounds like a positively delirious state of existence.

TG: its some delirious biznasty alright

TT: Oh... snap?

TG: yes ima authorize a GOD DAMN you may swipe it at the door to check yourself into the burn ward

TT: Might you loosen the purse strings on an "Oh no he didn't?"

TG: nah those are kept in emergency reserve for yo mama jokes from the 90s

TG: anyway

TG: im telling you if i said anything at all about it she probably doesnt even fire her gun once and all im doing is dragging her into a doomed timeline with me

TT: I guess I'm learning to be impressed by your sense of obligation to inevitable misfortune. It's a strange case of inspiration through futility.

TG: none of this is that big a deal

TG: i just mentioned the basics to her

TG: that id stop time traveling soon

TG: break out of the loops

TG: not have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody

TG: i was never that cool with this

TT: With what, exactly?

TG: you know how you turned out to be this incredibly shitty seer of light and basically failed at that in every way imaginable

TT: Hey!

TG: well maybe i never wanted to be a knight of time

TG: maybe id rather just be like

TG: the dave of guy

TG: you know just some dude

TT: These really do not sound like the words of someone ready to face his own death.

TT: The kind you don't wake up from, I mean.

TG: i guess not

TG: guess i failed my quest then

TG: so im like

TG: now what bitches

TG: to nobody in particular i guess

TT: The unseen bitches callously conspiring to expect greatness from you?

TG: yes those exact bitches

TT: If that's how you feel,

TT: Then why did you insist on going on the mission to deliver The Tumor?

TT: Black-and-whitened for giant yin-yang bomb.

TG: oh yeah

TG: i remember that now

TG: then i guess thats what happened

TG: i delivered the bomb and now i must be dead

TT: Are you sure?

TG: is that wrong

TT: Maybe you should try to answer the question. Why did you want to go?

TG: because i made the map so i know how to get there better

TT: But it seems simple enough. A set of bearings to follow.

TT: See? The application pilots the moon. Change course when necessary. Anyone can do it, really.

TT: We talked about this. Debated, if you recall.

TG: ok if you remember it all so clearly why are you grilling me on this shit

TG: will you just tell me whats going on

TT: I'm just seeing if you can remember. And if you're sticking to your story, about why you should be the one to go.

TG: well i am

TG: because i should

TG: or should have

TG: man what the fuck is going on

TG: am i dead or are you dead or what

TT: You're almost there, really. Just try to remember a little more.

TT: What happened after we decided you'd go?

TG: uh

TG: oh yeah

TG: we were trying to figure out a way to detach the moon

TG: so i could pilot it out there

TG: fly it into the sun

TG: but the chain was huge

TG: couldnt think of how to break it

TG: then out of nowhere this sword appears in the thing

TG: so im thinking obviously i have to break the sword somehow

TG: because thats all i fucking do is break swords

TG: but as im thinking of how to do it i put my hand on it

TG: and it just snaps off with this comical shattering noise

TG: like i just fucked up some priceless shit in the louvre

TG: see like that

TG: like i did again just there with my hand

TG: cause of dreambubbles

TG: remember when that happened

TT: Mm hm.

TG: then i took it and sliced the chain

TG: like this

TG: damn

TG: it still cuts like its plowing through a shaft of boneless zombie meat

TT: Careful.

TT: I just managed to quell my appetite after all that burger talk.

TG: whoops

TG: yeah

TG: so then

TG: the moon started drifting away

TG: and i was going to fly up

TG: and take it to the sun

TG: and i said something to you

TG: or i was going to

TG: like say bye or something

TG: but you were just standing there not saying anything

TG: holding that ball of yarn

TG: and then

TG: oh

TG: god thats right

TG: come on

TG: knocking me out so you can steal the suicide mission

TG: god dammit

TG: that is so trite

TT: I really am sorry for that.

TG: its like

TG: heres how bad this is

TG: were are basically bruce willis and ben affleck from johns shitty crappy movie

TG: you made this even more armageddon than it already was

TG: sealing me in the air lock so i can go home to liv tyler and have the most terrible babies with her

TT: If it's any consolation, Liv Tyler came with me on the suicide mission.

TG: the bunny or the actress

TT: Which would make you feel better?

TG: you not knocking me out with a ball of fucking yarn is fucking what

TT: If I could have chosen a method of sparing your life you might have found more awesome, I would.

TT: Is there an "ironic" way to do that?

TG: this probably comes close but that doesnt make it not lame as hell

TT: Does it matter if I took some personal satisfaction seeing you fall unconscious at the gentle glance of a soft cotton globe?

TG: its cool you are so tickled by this i hope it brought you a lot of rad laughs on your way to go fucking explode

TT: ...

TG: so thats it

TG: im actually lying here on derse asleep

TG: and you went out there and blew up the sun

TG: and now youre dead and im dream chilling with your smug ghost

TT: Yes to the first part.

TG: so youre not dead

TT: Not yet.

TG: then youre dreaming

TG: what youre taking a little nap on the moon in the middle of nowhere

TT: Afraid not!

TT: I am wide awake.

[goremet-chef]

trying to control my emotions is so difficult man, like i can be honest with myself and lay out the whole truth, but that little voice inside me will always be like "okay, but what if we dont know the whole truth? what if something happened we dont know about and our fear is completely warranted?"

its sad because its not like.. the 'little voice' isnt an alter or something, its just ME. i bring myself so much misery, i feel so ashamed. i cant believe im our host. i bring all of us down, and im not even being dramatic or anything, i genuinely do. im selfish, and my method of coping with reality is to LEAVE it, when someone else fronts im biting my lip waiting to crawl back into front and take me out of here. i stop our social alters from even ATTEMPTING to be social because im too scared of the consequences (even if its just part of life, it rips my soul apart to be rejected, im so tired of being seen as weird)

its honestly kind of impressive, but despite all this fear that ties me down to the floor, i cant i CAN NOT ask if somethings wrong

i cant do it, because thats admitting defeat. thats me saying 'yeah ill be honest im sure nothing has happened on your end, but ive been drowning myself in anxiety and i need validation that my fear is for nothing like how you probably think it is'

i cant keep doing that. i hate being such a piece of work!!!! its never simple with me, everythings always fine until it literally isnt. ive convinced myself my friends, my closest bestest best besties, ALL hate me and ive been so depressed only for them to act completely normal and then i realize oh actually they dont and i was sad for nothing :] okay!

like. i just.

the last time i was ever open about how i was feeling, was when i was in contact with my groomer. i loved him i think, and i felt like i should be open with him, because he was my FP and the amount of crying i did every day was so pathetic

that was when i learned i had bpd and thats why i acted the way i did, and so i tried to be more open about it because i heard that i should and it would be good for my relationships, but all it did was make him tired with me, tired that i was constantly scared and asking if he still liked me

that was a bad time for me, i cant ignore that. being in constant contact with him was basically just giving me trauma every single day. my system was SO active trying to manage the stress, it was bad. i cant just blame myself for how i was acting, because it was a terrible horrible situation that i dont wish on anyone else, but man i wish i did things different

but like?? its like no matter the option i pick, its still the same!!! different outcome but shitty nonetheless

do i open up and tell the people i love that oh actually im really scared and im constantly afraid you dont love me anymore? or do i just. sit with the pain.

if i tell them, best case they tell me 'no dom, we still love you' and thats that, worst case they get annoyed with me, they see me as too much to handle, they pity me because something is clearly wrong with me

if i dont, then i do exactly what i do now, which is just wallowing in self hate and loneliness for 3 whole days, waiting for something thats not gonna happen because i havent fucking COMMUNICATED that i want it

i think technically, being open is the way to go. if i hadnt been stuck in such a shitty situation with a person like BRIAN then i wouldve probably seen better outcome. im open that i have BPD, so people should be aware what theyre getting into. if they stay despite knowing, they care about me, i know this is true. a lot of people book it once they hear you have any sort of cluster-b personality disorder because they immediately assume yr some kind of abuser, so this already is a good thing that i have people open enough to not immediately classify me as one and run

i just get scared like. what if i ask if somethings wrong and something IS wrong?? what if its my fault? id be so ashamed in myself. i dont have enough experience in human interaction to know how to fully like. handle that situation, the unknown outcome is what scares me the most

[outofcontexturi]

15th jan 2023 sun journal 21:41pm

ive had a lazy weekend.im not completely mad at myself but i do feel i need to do more work. i’ve been chilling for most of today. i had a good week though. i havent done one of these journals in a minute. im currently watching Abbott Elementary and i must say that this is good tv. i cant really point out why im annoyed with the world. i dont know if its because this isnt where i envisioned myself when i was 18. i think i thought i’d be bigger than i am and more confident than i am. i thought i’d be that guy. and in different ways i am already showcasing those qualities i once wanted but im not in the social position i thought i’d be in. although one could say he’s on his way. 24 is such weird age to be man. i just feel born again but in a weird way. it’s not comfortable that im learning myself in real time and im super conscious of myself. it’s like im hyper focused on myself weirdly enough. last week was good though. finally did some screen acting after so many months away. felt good to be back infront of a camera. i was nervous coming back to it though. i’ve also realised how hard commercial voice acting is. my god is fucking hard.3rd year is something man. the grind felt mild this week but im anticipating a shit storm these next few weeks. God be with me. i really want braces. invisalign. had an audible workshop which was so cool. honestly some of the most fun improvisation i’ve done in a long while! it was genuinely so much fun. did a bridgerton scene with Lizzie too. i personally enjoyed it but the playback was a bit hard to watch but i think thats because i was self conscious of what i look like on camera rather than focusing on perfromance its more personal and it shouldnt be. thats my thing with screen acting and i know im not alone on this. alot of actors hate seeing themselves on screen and im one of them if im being completely honest. because i know screen is more of a visual medium than theatre is and looks play a massive role in casting etc sometimes the look you think you’re giving a camera lense doesnt translate when you watch yourself back and you kinda think to yourself “am i overacting” or “can i fucking act?” and it happens like that man. its a difficult road ahead but someone has to go thru it. tomorrow will be good hopefully. im gonna keep watching this abbott elementary and try and do some line learning and character prep and then sleep. Mondays are always long days. sign out time:21:58pm

[earlyspringtranscendence]

corin pushing past his own comfort zone to allow patrick the comfort of touch during a deeply traumatic time for p like literally im so fragile right now i can’t even begin to explain all of what’s going thru my mind. but i will.

like i think the biggest reason this mental image is so important to me is that andrew rowe’s writing with patrick (and mara tbh) has always held so much nuance & tenderness, like here’s this golden retriever type of boy who holds so much love and positivity in his heart, here’s this little nerd who loves the world he lives in & loves his friends so much theyre family (again, same goes for mara who im p sure was the one who said she needed family time while they were discussing blackstone banditry but it could very well have been sera which is still a win for me bc all these characters are so fantastic*) & he would do ANYTHING for coring — remember him being the first person to stand up to magnus for corin ?? remember corin being hit & his first thoughts are thank fuck patrick saw this? cause i dont think he’d have felt that way if it were anyone else, not even mara or sera or even derek or keras (though derek & keras ymmv bc they are still adults in this situation so theyd be far more likely to be able to do anything, but still theres the shame of it which i think would be more pronounced w them than it is w patrick bc he’s just such an unbelievably kind hearted character)

he doesn’t have the same sway over corin’s emotional intelligence as sera does but he still offers guidance by just being so emotionally intelligent himself, and anyway these are all his perfect traits but then not only that he’s also vulnerable (which is still a perfect trait but you get what i mean) and its not the first time he gets to be vulnerable but for the tables to have turned so severely that now its corin who has to be the brave, kindhearted one.... when patrick gets to be fr scared and hurt and young it’s by far one of the best parts of the books that happens outside of the story, because theyre ALL like that, bc in silence of unworthy gods im pretty sure theyre still only 18 (and you can tell the difference btwn an 18yr old who grew up in an awful family, an 18 yr old who grew up practically without a full family/her current family, an 18 yr old who had the best family but other circumstances denied her certain privileges and an 18 yr old whose home life idk jackshit about but i feel like it was probably pretty good bc a) how could u not adore patrick and b) well he came out bright as sunshine so you know, but anyway theres nuances in their maturity and patrick is by far the youngest but theyre ALL young & scared & inexperienced & going through far too much... i mean like read wobm keras is 21 in that im p sure and like ok yes he does go through a whole thing in book 1 fighting gods or whatever (overachiever) but his actual training is a piece of cake in comparison to what these guys go through)

anyway idk where that was going so nvm but its not only corin, it’s keras who .. ok to be honest i havent read more than the first book in 6ss which i need to get to bc i feel like im missing some context lately but keras clearly is in a very bad very stressed out place right now & mara telling him he needs to fucking COOL IT &&&& all of this being done through the medium of touch, which is such a taboo topic in AA because its from corin’s perspective and corin is you know. traumatised to hell and back.

its fucking magnificent. andrew rowe is so fucking good, not just for his worldbuilding but for his characters and his KINDNESS towards them, UGH !

* i was gonna go in depth on that but this is long enough so lemme just say im also loving sheridan this book i mean i loved them before but now that theyre like a more established type of love interest (.. sorta ??) it just makes me giggle bc there is no one for coring to end up with without me adoring the shit out of it. jin? im so down. cecily? i feel like itd be a little sad & they need to build to it but i LOVE cecily so sure !!! sheridan? literally i’d scream itd be so funny and SO good, LUTE ??? i mean. no ones even hinting at that happening but yes 100% yes.

plus i feel like corin has a crush on keras in that ‘thisman is 26 and beautiful & knows so much’ kind of way. anyway. AH !!!