#im gonna start tagging stuff vaguely from now on so i can. keep stuff more organized

[shelf-ships]

Now that we can comment from sideblogs i want to interact more on here can self shippers that r anti pr0ship reblog this or comment so I can come like and comment on ur posts 🙏🙏 i want more self ship friends

Feel free 2 leave asks as well I might even talk abt an f/o or two in a slightly less vague manner if im feeling brave hehe

(bear in mind i am 19 so if ur not comfortable interacting with adults that’s fine!! also if ur like early teens ur welcome 2 interact with my posts but I’d rather not be friends bcs ya 👍 there r plenty of cool ppl in ur age group on here I’m sure!! )

Also I don’t think I’ve said before so!! hi im the person that runs @bearwuvimagines if you’re familiar with that >:D

adding a quick psa now I’m pinning this: if i block you and you’re not a proshipper then we probably just share an f/o im not comfy sharing, no h8 i just have one or two f/os i am extremely uncomfortable sharing ^^

My tags:

#arrow rambles (i be talking)

#arrow ships (my ships )

#other’s ships (other ppl’s stuff i reblog, might not just be ships but using this tag to keep it organised yknow

#imagines (gonna start using this for imagines I reblog !!

[daxtoncity]

Friends

So besides the incredibly vague title alone, this post is gonna explain something, a little bit different. As the sole creator of Daxton’s storyline, the underlaying basis of just, Daxton’s foundation in general, what I say, simply, GOES AND I THINK THAT’S INCREDIBLY FAIR RIGHT IM NOT CRAZY-

That being said, the characters that I’m gonna briefly mention here with my own summaries, they all have one thing in common: I didn’t make them.

My friends did, and the friends that did go out of their way to create something that I have been workshopping for such an incredibly long amount of time, it’s been in hiatus after hiatus as I got older, but when I met these people through this HELLSITE, they pushed me to keep going, and this is easily the longest and most effort that I have outputted into Daxton’s development, I mean I have names for locations AND EVEN THEN AT LIKE 13 AND STUFF, I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE LAST NAMES FOR SOME OF THESE CHARACTERS AND THE FACT ALONE THAT I AM ENVISIONING PLACES NOW, THAT MIGHT NOT SEEM LIKE A LOT BUT TO ME THAT’S MONUMENTAL

So the best way that I can even begin to repay these friends of mine, is, simply this: These characters, are, absolutely canon. They started out as OCs for my dumb little universe created by these wonderful people, and now as the creator and owner of Daxton, I’m making them canon.

Without further ado, It’d be my honor to introduce these one of kind creations.

The following two were created by my friend @alicethecoffeeaddict, Andromeda and Vergil, a pair of demonic siblings, Andromeda, a confident, no shit taking, proud of her sexuality succubus, and Vergil, a friendly, albeit introverted compared to his sister, incubus who works a side life as a nurse. That’s all I’m gonna say about them at the moment, you read this and wanna know about them more?? GO TO ALICE AND YELL AT HER TO MAKE MORE CONTENT OF THEM--

This one, ohohohoh, this one, is a, PERSONAL, favorite of mine. Created by one of my absolute bestest buds in the entire world, @sutasaido, Heartbeat is the city’s most beloved entertained, donning a helmet with a heart shaped electronic screen visualizing a rhythmic heartbeat tempo on the front, he’s a talented musician that has not a single struggle in the world to put all of Daxton’s hands up, rest of the world must have missed his hype tho-GO YELL AT ELI TO GET MORE HEARTBEAT CONTENT

The second to the couple of last ones, sadly, I can’t tag on here because he doesn’t use Tumblr anymore, but if you scroll by and read this and wonder who this is, my buddy John aka MossyPebble, you’ve MOST DEF HAVE SEEN THAT NAME IF YOU’RE AROUND THESE PARTS, but he created probably one of the most INTRICATELY DESIGNED AND FUCKIN BADASS CHARACTERS, the evangelical automaton created by man to protect them from every and all threats in the city, and even the world at such a scale, named Gehenna. However, reduced time shared along with humans thanks to ungrateful creators locking him away into the depths of their compounds poisoned his advanced thinking and labeled humans as their own greatest danger. Now, like I said, JOHN ISN’T ON HERE ANYMORE BUT I WILL SAY THAT IF HE DOES MAKE MORE ABOUT GEHENNA I WILL LET Y’ALL KNOW

Now, the very last ones, for now anyone, have been crafted by someone who is, easily, my greatest friend and my overall empowering form of inspiration with just how incredibly creative she is, it is, very easy, to label as most definitely my biggest supporter, @flowerthornsart, without her I don’t think some entire sections of Daxton to this day would have been getting coats of polish slathered on with how much she encourages me to keep going with this, so of course-

Mantis is the first hero I wanna talk about, plagued by floating remnants of her villainous and monstrous mother’s reigning terror, Mantis is determined to take that once ruined verbal imagery of someone so murderous and fraught with danger, and replace it with the shining, welcoming sight of a sweetened heart and comforting aura belonging to one who knows what it means to be a hero, that not allowing anyone to hinder your actions and the determination that backs up one’s selflessness, is all that it takes. And last but not least, Iris, an abandoned science project given form, the spunky and gremlin like slime cryptid lovingly lingers in Daxton’s Undercity, reclaiming once lost subway systems as her own housing, she’s later discovered by the band of heroes following Blade, and the crew gained yet another irreplaceable fragment to weld with the grander picture of it all. AND FINALLY, GO YELL AT TERESA IF YOU WANT MORE-

Much like before, THAT IS ALL THAT I HAVE FOR YOU AS OF NOW, THE VILLAINS ARE ARRIVING SOON BUT I WANTED TO GET THIS OUT AND ABOUT AND HAVE A FRESH AIR AROUND IT ALL ABOUT WHAT EXACTLY THIS CAST CONSISTS OF YOU GUYS WHO I TAGGED I LOVE Y’ALL DEARLY AND I WILL FOREVER BE INDEBTED TO THE KINDNESS YOU GUYS GIVE ME <3

[ectonurites]

TIMBER IS ENDGAME!!!

Sorry I’m just excited after reading the new issue of Tim’s solo but they basically confirmed it with this issue and I’m so excited!

okay so three things, sorry in advance if i sound snippy with any/all of this:

1. this was sent at around ~2am in my timezone, when the comic in question was released only like 2 hours earlier. which to me feels… a tad early to start talking in my (or anyone’s) inbox about it without any sort of spoiler/context warning before talking about the issue’s content. especially if i have not already posted about the issue myself, indicating i’ve read it. i know you did not say anything terribly specific here, but like… still. i personally prefer going into new issues completely blind aside from officially released promo stuff (aka im good with seeing solicits and the previews from dc and stuff the artists/writers may post/talk about ahead of time) so getting any other info ahead (even vague stuff) really frustrates me as a general thing. (I know that may seem hypocritical because there are times i’ve discussed/referenced leaks, but trust me when i say i don’t seek them out. sometimes they are thrust upon me because people don’t tag that shit properly, and i still have opinions all the time always, but i make a point of spoiler tagging in those scenarios).

2. in general, the concept of a comic ship (especially one with teen/young adult characters) being ‘endgame’ is just so wildly absurd to me. like without reading the issue i’d guess you’re using the phrase in a more colloquial ‘this ship is going to stick around longterm!’ way, and sure totally i’d believe that sort of thing got indicated, and that’s cool and exciting if it was! but monthly superhero comics are an ongoing medium… i guess i’m getting into semantics here but there can’t really be endgame ships if the ‘game’ never ‘ends’. even an individual book getting cancelled isn’t an actual end when it’s part of a shared universe thus the same characters can pop up elsewhere. and even if its like ‘ahhh look! the future!’ that sort of thing happens in comics every other week and can change so so easily.

3. i have not actually been keeping up to date with Tim’s current solo to begin with. i know that may seem shocking because of the [gestures vaguely to my icon and my blog in general] but it’s because unfortunately the universe had really cruel timing the day TD:R #1 released and due to that i’m still in ‘every new issue coming out just makes me think about how many months it’s been since my uncle died’ mode. so ive been avoiding the book and avoiding discussion about it for the sake of my own mental health right now. someday i’ll get around to it but idk when i’m gonna have enough… distance, I guess, to be able to.

anyways. sorry that that is probably super not the sort of response you were wanting/expecting, pls don’t think im Mad at you individual anon who sent this and i’m glad you’re excited about whatever happened in the book! this just… struck me and my brain at the wrong moment in the wrong ways, i suppose

[spikeinthepunch]

okay... i am starting to see some issues more with sheezy's pretty consistent tagging that feels like a Bit Much. like on one hand its very straightforward and literal in definition but. it still has me concerned on potential policing either from user side (users getting too comfy with being saved from seeing any content they dont want to see) or potential bad actors on the moderator team (and this isnt to accuse anyone on the team, its just a 'what if' that could come to fruition bc of these circumstances). this drawing was marked by a mod for nudity. is the character nude? yeah. their rule for General category nudity includes barbie-doll characters with skin. their nudity tag also includes barbie-doll skinned characters that have on pants or only a shirt.

issue is its not to say this description is invalid, the character is technically naked, despite no nipples of genitals. but i cant be the only who finds this a bit much. because they allow furry characters without nipples to not be tagged as nudity. (if they have defined nipples they need a nipple tag. if they have not nipple-esque belly spots its fine). now this is where it starts to get specific in a way that almost contradicts things. skin vs fur doesnt make a lot of sense when technically theyre both naked. the furry has no clothes and is anthropomorphic. if they say feral animals/non-anthro creatures are obvious animalistic and not need to be tagged as nude, then what kind of abomination could i create that muddies these rules?

im gonna keep going under the cut actually to point out some issues i have with the visuals for the rules. which you can find their rules here

i already mentioned the nudity stuff enough so im not gonna pull those up now. but then other one has to do with gore/blood. this one is waaaay to subjective on what can be considered too much or too little.

this is for the General category blood/gore rules:

this is for the Mature category

there is no visual for Explicit, its honestly described very much like Mature but additions to 'cannibalism'. they also say candy gore should be judged by the artist for severity (more being too vague or subjective here! contradicts the strictness of other rules).

so like, the biggest issue i have with the above is the shopped lim thing. "undetailed limb cross sections" look nearly the same. what if there is shading on a limb that makes it look like the mature category? what if their wacky colo style makes it look like that? what if the amount of dripping blood is just too much? etc etc.for the body-- if you allow open/chopped limbs in the General Category AND the Mature one... what is the difference? and again, how much blood is too much???? is putting a darker shade of red in the center of a chopped limb too much?? how and why? this is just far too subjective. artists have to judge what they deem fitting to these rules, and mods do too. and there will undoubtedly be loads of instances where this manual tagging from mods will happen.

there is also the rules regarding "substance abuse", not being allowed in General but can be in Mature-Explicit. now i didnt get manually tagged for substances abuse BUT i mentioned this the other day-- a mod manually tagged a drawing of mine with "alcohol". but the drawing had zero indication the bottle being held was alcohol in the first place.

now, the mod happened to be correct, i knew what it was in my head. but thats the thing. i knew it, only i did. what if it was a soda? and if they truly assumed it was alcohol and was wrong, and i disputed it, what would stop them from just saying "well i think its alcohol". i cant really prove it, and id just have to hope the mod is kind enough to let it be changed instead of just deciding for themself that i was right and they made a mistake/assumption.

i only really ramble about this bc i think its important to consider.... i have no ill will for sheezy either, but its a young site and its being run by young people (some even younger than me), and i think myself and others have seen some not great trends from this generation and younger regarding puritanism and censorship-- which i am not accusing these people of. but as i said in my last post, some times this "over tagging" can make a situation where the users expect the website to be safe and curate the space for them. the website/mods should not be become the parent figure hiding the gross things you dont want to see. you curate your internet experiences. the more specific they get with tags the more likely people would get upset if they pulled back from it, made changes, missed tagging something, or mistagged/misused the system.

[ahwait-no-yes]

so basically my friend told me today about her dream she had that involved a demon and of course my mind went “...SAIOU AU”

here’s our convo so it makes sense:

if I had the motivation i would DEFINITELY write a fic about this- the fluff/crack/angst potential is t h e r e

and as a bonus doodle,

story is under the cut (it’s long)

“I was gonna keep this in tags but hsdf;j” is what I originally wrote here until I started thinking about this more and sorta wrote the whole plot-

-> as ouma’s killing the other monster things he flirts with shuuichi while the poor demon has never been flirted with so he’s stood there all confused and ??? (his version of blushing would be like, the fire coming from his small horns gets bigger and brighter)

-> the one he summons ends up being like. kaede and they both just end up having to lecture shuuichi on why it is that he should not want to die so easily

-> eventually kokichi and kaede wanna give him a hug so they try to but shuuichi’s Extra Hot™ (from being a demon and also probably blushing) so they both immediately regret that choice but kokichi laughs and gives an obligatory pun about shuuichi being hot which only confuses him because ‘of course im hot?? im a demon??’ while kaede explains what ouma meant

-> imagine shuuichi crying (fire tears..) at the generosity of these two strangers who a) aren’t absolutely terrified of him, b) refuse to hurt him and c) actually *want* to help him and ouma actually inwardly understanding a little bc he’d never imagine someone actually wanting to be with himself either

-> saihara now wanting to know what it’s like to live as a human with ouma and akamatsu but being unable to find a way (except for maybe being undercover?) but promising he’ll bring ouma back to him (he’s aware of the whole aging phenomenon in the lil demon world so he wants to keep their time short) and ouma finding that now he has something to look forward to

-> the 👏 mutual 👏 pining 👏 that commences after they both have to leave each other (if kaede knows kokichi in the real world she’d definitely tease him a little knowing he has a crush- this is probably good potential for building oumaede friendship)

-> it takes a while before ouma and saihara can see eachother again because getting the two to escape without killing saihara exerted a lot of energy on him, but they do get to! about once a month to be safe, and they get to know stuff about eachother like which shops ouma likes to steal from and shuuichi’s really loud demon friend he once had (aka momota)

-> one day though saihara tells ouma that if he keeps doing this he’ll die of exhaustion (it takes a lot of energy from saihara to get ouma in and out of there) and ouma calling him an idiot but really being worried. saihara tells him not to worry about him even if something happens to him, and makes ouma go back to the real world

-> ouma doesn’t hear from him after that

-> he worries he might have been killed or saihara forgot about him and feels stupid for being so hopeful in something so childishly impossible and starts trying to forget about him

-> the real world is aware of demons cause people talk about them (and obvs you can tell when someone’s gone to their.. dimension thing because you can visibly see them age) so still denying that he’s curious and likes saihara still, ouma tries to go to libraries and do his own research on demons and ends up finding out that saihara specifically comes from a bloodline that makes him quite powerful if not for that he wouldnt want to take the risks that come with it and then lowkey gets excited again for saihara while still in ✨denial ✨

-> it’s been almost a year when saihara has enough energy (and more) to ensure that his new plan is successfully carried out and that ouma (and potentially 1 more..) gets back to the real world safely. he created this plan when he figured out how to exist in the real world- by sacrificing the thing he cares most about

-> so when ouma suddenly gets that off-feeling people get when they’re leaving the real world he feels very many emotions at once (giddily going ”ohh my god its not this it cant be this no way oh heck tthisis not happening not a chance”) until he sees the face he’s been waiting 4 months for again except this time it looks.. frighteningly cold

-> ouma’s instincts are screaming at him that something is very, very wrong here especially when he can’t hear any warmth when saihara says “Welcome back, Ouma. It’s your final time” and explains the whole ‘kill these monsters then kill me’ thing again

-> ouma’s confusion inevitably turns to annoyance as he kills the dudes (there appears to be a lot more than there was last time) and fires questions at saihara (‘is this saihara?’ ‘what happened to you??’ ‘do you even remember me?’) while saihara stays silent for the whole time thinking about how he really doesn’t want to be doing this. 

-> eventually ouma decides he was wrong (again) to have put his faith in a guy- a demon- he only met once a month.. even if said demon gave him something to look forward to

-> when he finally gets to saihara alone he internally notes that saihara cant look him in the eye, but he finally speaks to tell ouma that now either himself or ouma will now die (saihara knows this is for sake of the sacrifice, but he can’t let ouma know else it won’t work)

-> ouma refuses to fight him again, expecting saihara to snap back into the meek demon from a year and some months ago, but rather than that happening saihara actually says something like “if you won’t kill me, I’ll have to kill you” and swings at him

-> even if ouma was on his full guard, he still would’ve been surprised by how strong saihara actually could be when he tried to fight- and of course saihara can’t stop now that he’s started but ouma hears the hesitation when saihara asks “are you going to kill me yet?” and gets annoyed that the whole time he spent with him and even akamatsu meant nothing. saihara smiles sadly knowing he’s achieving his goal but ouma thinks he’s smiling at the thought of dying and gets somehow even more annoyed

-> during their whole fight, insert “I’m alone, Ouma, and I will always be” line from saihara, “No amount of talking can convince me otherwise, Ouma. I’m sorry it took so long, but it was foolish of you to trust a demon you met only once” or something and yes it hurts saihara too but ouma’s staying silent and before saihara can continue, ouma fires back with “You’re right- you are meant to be alone. You were always meant to be that kind of guy” and stops dodging to start finally attacking- this is when saihara knows he’s pretty much achieved his target: sacrificing ouma’s trust in him

-> just as ouma swipes at him, saihara’s lil spell thing is activated that takes saihara back to the real world, disguised so people don’t see him as a demon. but now ouma thinks he’s just killed saihara (I just attacked him. and he is gone. i dont know what that light was but i must have just killed him. oh my god im a murderer.”)

-> saihara hiding in the forest to do the lil spell thing again but on ouma (all the time he spent saving on energy was worth it) so ouma gets transported to the real world too and immediately runs to tell akamatsu everything that happened

-> saihara trying to find to blend in with humans from what he remembers of how they act but he doesnt need to particularly eat he just needs a heck ton of sleep so he basically just lives in the forest now. he’s very sensitive to water so he actively stays away from it too (it wont kill him but it does make him sick). he’s still feverishly warm but not scalding and he also decides to work at a store to fit in more

-> ouma regretting what he did to saihara even though saihara hurt him first and realising he misses him

-> saihara ends up accidentally bumping into him at the store he works at that ouma conveniently steals from a lot (”Ouma, you’d make a good demon” “Nishishi! What do you mean? I’m a perfect little angel!”) and saihara gasping when he notices ouma’s unforgettable purple hair and cute smile.

-> ouma finding something familiar about this awkward new staff with the cute face and deciding he’ll visit the shop more often to see this stranger and not because said stranger might help him get over his demon crush

-> then they get to know eachother again for the 2nd time, and as much as this guy is really cute, he clearly knows more than he’s letting on... so of course ouma’s gotta now pay even more attention to him. just so he knows what the guy’s hiding. not cause he wants to know him.

-> one day saihara is sick from trying to protect himself from the rain (cause yk, water bad) so he stays in the forest instead of coming in to focus his energy on getting better and also not blowing his cover. ouma notices he isnt there on that day and asks other staff members where he lives and they’re all like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

-> it rains quite a bit after that, inevitably making saihara even more sick and in turn needing time away to himself, so ouma starts getting worried when saihara stops coming to work

-> saihara really wants to see him though, so one day he tries to drag himself to work in a terrible state where he’s actually almost cold for once and collapses after trying to run to ouma. ouma sees him and tells his manager he cant work nd takes him home himself where saihara wakes up confused

-> ouma lecturing saihara because he worried him and the way he fell reminded him of.. someone (demon shuu).. then he asks vague questions to saihara about if he’s ever met a demon and half-confesses to having met one himself multiple times and ending up falling in love and then probably killing them

-> saihara, in his tired state, tells him his story of how he was raised to believe he had no purpose other than to meet someone who would kill him, eventually finding that person but instead of looking at him with fear or anger he looked at him with admiration and playfulness, how the guy meant to kill him refused to and flirted w him instead. ouma has probably clicked on by this point but saihara continues to tell him he wanted to protect that guy with the power he had so he took time away from his first ‘job’ to find out how to be with him. saihara is probably shaking at this point while he continues telling him about how he found out he had to sacrifice the most important thing to him, so he “went and had a terrible argument with him one day and i ran away. but i’ve never stopped looking for him since, he showed me that even a demon like me can fall in love” (there’s the ✨grand confession ✨)

-> ouma saw it coming from the moment saihara started speaking, but that didnt stop him from being utterly paralysed. of COURSE saihara has to say “When I said you’d make a good demon I really wasn’t lying. Your hand is so warm it could fool even me” which possibly makes ouma completely combust before absolutely bolting out the door and calling akamatsu to tell her to get to his house (”AKAMATSU-CHAN I’M GONNA DIE RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON’T GET HERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THIS SECOND”)

-> while waiting for kaede, shuuichi explains that he needs to be Warm™ and immediately holds kokichi’s hold again, while the other’s having a gay panic.. and he doesnt know how to feel because on one hand, his beloved demon is.. right here, in the ‘flesh’, holding his hand, telling him he fell in love with him.. but on the other hand, that doesnt excuse the confusion and hurt he put him through back then, not being able to see him for a whole damn year.. 

-> ouma ignores all the feelings when akamatsu arrives where she’s brought water and blankets (just in case- i feel like shes the kind of friend who would do that) so saihara takes the blankets and ouma takes the water and she calms them both down and gets them to explain everything slowly and in their own time. its awkward esp for ouma who isnt particularly close with her, but they manage it in the end

-> they decide shuuichi literally cant live in the forest so of course now he has to live with ouma but akamatsu offers to help if it ever gets too much for ouma which obviously ouma denies. she leaves soon and its just them but ouma needs some time to himself to clear his head and he only returns late to see saihara asleep clinging onto akamatsu’s blanket with his life lmao so ouma sighs and brings him more. and if he kisses the sleeping demon’s forehead, nobody has to know

-> ofc its still very much awkward and it takes ouma getting used to having even just another presence in his home, let alone his sort-of-unofficial-demon-bf and saihara’s still sleeping a lot of the time but recovering

-> they probably establish their feelings for eachother properly when they’re more mentally prepared for it, and then 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 (they kiss) and are now actually legally boyfriends. i absolutely cannot let this end in angst so they’re happy and love eachother now yay the end

nngl. i talked about this with that same friend and I lowkey want to start writing an actual fic for it now that ive written... literally the entire plot, but if i do that it probably wont be out for a while bc i take 10 years to write lmao-- plus i hardly ever finish what i start so uh yeah.. but hopefully! im not even good at writing fic this is just the plot but yello

[decayingdirk]

𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍: whats up, my name is ares, and i am a man (dubiously) of many talents. im 18, i live in the good ol’ us of a, and im whatever the opposite of cis is. im queer, and i dont feel the need to seek out any label other than that. im a cancer sun, gemini moon, pisces rising, and i dont rreeeeally believe in the zodiac but some part of me does instinctually use it as a tool for judgement so maybe i do really. im nd and disabled and vaguely but not quite jewish. not religious though. hence the prefix. i have opinions but debating serious things on tumblr is actually fucking exhausting so if you send asks or dms trying to do that i will probably just delete them

𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐍: here is the picrew i use in all my icons. i fucking love this picrew

𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒: ive got a few other blogs, mostly fandom ones, mostly inactive - 🍒  @𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐬 ;; youre here [𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂] : my main blog, where i dont usually post anything other than reblogs w too much talking in the tags but by god im gonna start trying to post original stuff. fandom stuff occasionally but i mostly try to keep fandom stuff to their respective blogs for the sake of my mutuals. speaking of mutuals i love yall interact w me more [𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒] : OPEN ☄️  @𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐝𝐬-𝐨𝐟-𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰  ;; arcane blog [𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂] : my second most active one as its where all of my fics and art are getting posted right now, since, yk. arcane/league hyperfixation hours [𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐒] : OPEN 🍏  @𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐚���� ;; homestuck blog [𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂] : mostly a reblog dump rn that doesnt get used super often but im gonna start trying to post writing and stuff to it more soon  [𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐒] : OPEN 💥  @𝐢𝐝𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐡𝐢𝐦 ;; bnha blog [𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂] : forgot this existed tbh. its mostly for loving bakugou katsuki because im not actually a super big fan of bnha and am instead just kind of obsessed w a few of the characters. i miss them and want 2 start posting here more as well [𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐒] : OPEN - i also have ATLA [ 💠 ], KNY [ 🌑 ], and TMA [ 🌕 ] reblog dumps but its been so long since i used those and i dont plan on using them again any time soon so they get a link and a mention but not much else. couple other tumblrs here and there i will probably not be using again but if i do youll know where u can find em! here. the answer is here.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: i’m gonna try to remember to use these properly but cut me some slack on it #ares speaks ;; tag with all of my posts where i am saying things #fic boost ;; tag where i reblog all my fic updates and posts #art boost ;; tag where i reblog only the good art posts from the other blogs #my art ;; what it says on the tin, but. But. listen. there is some really fucking old stuff in here, and is indeed the only shit in that tag. i think theres literally pictures of some adult coloring pages i did a long ass time back. do not go and send rude shit on any of those and dont judge my artistic ability on them either, they are literally from middle school #ares answers ;; asks. hate that you cant just search tumblr blogs for asks and i hate searching through ppls posts for them so here we are

𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒: you’ll notice below i have linked a toyhouse profile but it is largely unfinished rn and has very few of my ocs on it BUT i do plan on trying to get it updated soon i prommy. 

- 💋 𝑻𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 -- 🎸  𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒗𝒆 --  ✂️  𝑻𝒐𝒚𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 --  🍓  𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕  -- 📌  𝑷𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕 -

[gryphsdeadbones]

hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;

first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut

i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad

im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent

was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)

i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say

its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.

if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug

and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.

so i had to make something that:

1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art

2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”

i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.

Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.

The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.

And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense

Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:

Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.

I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.

But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.

You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.

However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.

I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.

I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives. 

If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.

Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.

_

As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this

[evanescentdawn]

(16th june)

today’s writing:

—wips: reigen//time-travel, hana//mystery, saiki+mob, yoohan//best man

—edited the reigen time travels (kind of) wip. wow. I was reading through it and rewrote a lot of stuff. It was kinda surprising. Anyways, managed to +1040 words. holy heck. ITS GROWING. I am so, so excited and wish that this writing energy keeps going. Pls. reigen has two more middle school friends now, haha. and I realised that if I DO have Suzuki’s dad in here, that means that he might be...actually....Suzuki’s child instead and the implications are exciting.

—started another khr/mp100. debated a lot on where this should be a crossover, or for khr rarepair week because I needed to start on that, and it ended up being both. BUT BECAUSE I WAS SO UNDECEIVE, instead of the Hana/Tsuna/Hibari that I was hitting for, I ended up with Hibari/Hana/(Mob) but that’s still up for air. Like. I don’t even know where this Hana POV came from, I was scrolling through tumblr khr tag and it just HIT me. and anyways, oh my god. hibari & mob interaction??? p l s. why haven’t I thought of this before.

—Okay so I had a fleeting thought about Mob and what his thoughts would be like to a psychic who can read minds. It was inspired by that bhna/mp100 fic I read and so, I actually started writing his wip. where saiki meets the (1) kageyama shigeo and hears his mind, and it’s...Something. I don’t know where I am going with this or what the heck Mob’s mind would sound/look like to Saiki, other than vague vague but it would be really interesting to explore.

—not writing but. I was getting to a point where I realised that I need to actually write down all these ridiculous ideas I have for mp100 and wow, I ended up with 100s more. I want all of these. It’s gonna be crazy and a chore writing about them but each one of them is so interesting and I WANT THEM ALL. I ended up (non-surprisingly) a lot of reigen-centric stuff and kageyama siblings, and mob and ritsu-centric stuff. and lots of crossovers. mainly with khr, opm and bhna. 24+ so far with many to come. I gotta a break because my hands are KILLING me, right now.

—new orv wip! finally satisfying my urge to write about hsy & yjh. I have been wanting to write about them like if forever, an au where they are friends. Hsy is getting married and she asks him to be her best man. (shes getting married to ysa and jhw) anyways, GOD. I love this????

—okay. so that “original fiction” I kinda wrote, yeah that, the thing was that I had Reigen in mind kind of when writing it so I was like. what if I just go for that isekai fic I wanted to write about him??? but also make into a idol au because that isn’t a thing but the person is an idol in my story and WHILE, I could change it. I was like.... oh my god reigen would a f a b u l o u s. also this might, or might not turn out to be ritsu/reigen. because I have been feeling ritsu a lot lately. or reigen/reborn. OMG. REIGEN/REBORN/RITSU??? ignore me, im going insane.

[stray-tori]

More TPN S2 demon thoughts

@just-like-playing-tag​ on TPN S02E01 Thoughts:

I'm not entirely sure, but I'm pretty confident that when Gilda says at the start “it's a completely different forest from where we came” she's not referring to another forest they've seen after escaping, but to the forest they were used to back at the House, the one they used to play tag in. Anyway I loved hearing your thoughts, they're so on point 💕💕 Have you got any particular opinion on the demons at the end?

I personally interpreted it as the forest directly after the wall cliff didn’t have all those magical elements at least for a bit, they then reached that cliff where they looked over the land (which is probably what they mean when they say “we saw a river from above”) and then when they went further I assume that’s roughly where we start and that’s when the fantastical elements begin.

So it’s not another forest per se but the environment changed a bit.

_____________________________

ANYWAY. NEXT QUESTION.

Have you got any particular opinion on the demons at the end?

Sadly my opinion is very much impacted by vague knowledge I already have but my pure anime-only friends’ reaction was “welp, they landed on another farm”, but as it went on, they kind of went away from that idea, thinking it’d be unlikely for them to be so peaceful. they also thought that they’re part of Minerva’s group since they were heading there, but I wasn’t not sure if they’ve been on the way for that long - plus, at the end demon girl confirmed that she doesn’t know who he is, so that’s obsolete. Plus that’s interesting considering he seems to be a fairly wide-spread human books publisher / author / whatever, so either there’s a huge disconnect between human and demon society or they’ve simply always lived in that forest, and therefore don’t know).

I’m pretty curious on if this will go into some philosophical elements (with the whole eating living beings angle and all that fun stuff) or if they have a reason other than sympathy to help humans.* I also wonder if they’ve done so before. They seem to keep an eye on their region, since they acted pretty fast (even splitting up and exactly knowing where they have to go, which is interesting, I wonder if they have any sense or thing for surveillance), but I doubt that children escaping is that frequent of an occurrence, so I’m curious if there’s another reason they keep an eye on the region or if that’s just plot convenience.

* (reason to help humans:) like for example, they themselves seem to be a lot more human than the average demon we’ve seen so far, their masks seemingly acting as a replacement for features they assumingly don’t naturally have like horns and the multiple eyes. Or maybe Sonju just has another horn under the mask’s horn, that’d be funny I guess haha-

I’m not sure if the hierarchy in the demons’ society is the more human you are, the more at the bottom you are because if that was the case, that’d explain why they live in this random ass forest where we’ve only seen one other very animalistic demon (the one that tried to eat them) and of course the ones from GF hunting them, who are kind of humanoid but also really buff and big and kind of disproportionate.

So maybe the more humans ones are actually at the top since the muscular ones tend to be kind of disfigurated like the one with only one muscular arm in S1 (then again that could also be an argument for them being higher since they have brute force, but they seem more like a tool to me) and their masks (...?? Im not sure what they are, I thought it was some bone thing, but then in the OP this happens, SO I’M JUST CONFUSION) seem kind of clunky.

now that I look at it properly, how does that even work??? we’ve seen demons with two eyes before, their eyes were centered and big

and worked like normal eyes, so why are there so many tiny eyes WHAT- that’S NOT HOW EYES WORK.

Either way, what I was actually gonna mention is that the demon below the bone mask thing (and potentially going berserk or something, idk what he did to his eyes :D) actually looks a lot like the demon that wants to eat them in Ep1.

I’m not sure if this implies that

a) this demon is a went-berserk or whatever demon

b) they are simply both demons and so they look alike

c) one stems from the other evolutionary.

Demons in general (see above) seem awfully engineered at times, like the ones I mentioned above and demon “dogs” who run on all 4 legs. (interestingly, and I didn’t really notice it the first time) They even bump into the trees when chasing Ray so they don’t seem to have great maneuvering abilities since they’re so big and heavy.

And while I like the idea of demons being some engineered species by humans or something, I don’t think that’s likely when they seem to have been around for such a long time (GF farm alone has had like 50000 children according to their IDs after all; see my year count post which could of course be wrong! they could be farming a lot more per year but even so, for them to be genetically engineered from the ground up would require them to have farmed like 500 children per year if they “took over” 100 years ago, which clearly isn’t happening in GF at least), so I guess it’s evolutionary (or maybe not, I mean those eyes are whack, so it could also be some magic evolution or something).

Of course it could be that demons are fairly new to the picture and some humans just want to kill off some humans and do some brain research but I feel like they could do that without the entire farm setup and demons too. So I assume, while that technically could be a part of the motivation in the human and demons deal hinted in the OP, it’s probably a given that demons aren’t stemming from humans (but if they do, that’d be very ironic. Imagine bio engineering a species which then forces you to make a deal hsuajds)

In short: I don’t know anything, actually.

WHAT I MEANT TO GET AT ORIGINALLY, if Sonju and the demon girl (i dont think her name was said yet, I apologize if it was - also noteably a female demon! I wonder if that’s why they’re hiding / seemingly living separated. Are girls just not wanted in demon society? there aren’t any in the farm force, neither in the higher ups that we’ve seen in S1 so I’m... HM.) [they] are more humanoid and if that means they’re “higher rank” then I could see them having rejected the society in part and that’s why they’re living in that forest seemingly on their own (though we haven’t seen the rest of their base of course).

So. I hope those thoughts weren’t a complete mess sauihasj (after rereading I can def say they are but I don’t know how to structure them so. good luck)

thanks for reading if you did.

[irkenheretic]

okay i promised id do it and im doing it: Explaining The Plot Of That AU I’m Vague About: The Post

(as i was preparing to write this i actually got my 250th follower, which slapped)

so i’m just gonna start with the simple version, which is this: it’s a rebel AU which primarily centers around the tallest, who are both defective. they give up on trying to make any meaningful changes as figureheads, and instead direct their attention to being involved with the “neo defect revolution,” or NDR. they do manage to make one change as tallest- there is a garbage dump planet turned into a sanctuary for defectives (who in this au are executed once discovered,) and eventually enough of the populace finds out about it that the tallest have to deal with it. they finesse their way into kicking it out of the empire, so now it’s its own planet with its own rules, governments, and most importantly, immigration policies and protections

a lot of stuff happens and it’s gonna be structured using arcs, and each arc has a separate protagonist/deuteragonist/tritagonist lineup (but that doesnt mean the same lineup won’t be used multiple times!) and yes the insane list of OCs are for this au alone: some arcs are very OC-centric, some have OCs as supporting characters, and a couple are all-OC or mostly-OC. 

its going to be very longform and it’ll span from the tallest’s elite training days to twenty years after zim arrives on earth. (the 20 year gap btwn zim arriving on earth and the story proper isnt as tightly plotted as later tho.) the point is to see how a revolution on the scale of the NDR works, who was fucked over by defact laws, who was fucked over by other laws, etc. theres a lot of lore and a lot of headcanons i made for this AU and even a conlang. i am a being of hubris. itll be a series of fics, some multichapter and some oneshots. 

the series as a whole is gonna be called Invader Zim: Annexed or just Annexed for short. its a pun on an irken word that sounds similar but means the exact opposite. i am not explaining more bc itll be explained in the fic itself. but thats why the tag for it is #anx lmao

i didnt mean for this to be as long as it got but under the cut im gonna breakdown some of the early arcs:

so it all starts with a fanfic called Love Is The H-Word (no the “h-word” isn’t “hell.) it centers around red and purple as elites-in-training, who do a little whoopsie and have an egg. purple doesnt wanna smuggle it into a smeetery, bc then he’ll never see it again, so they go to the defect sanctuary (still a part of the empire at this point.) purple knows he’s defective while red has a hard time accepting that he is as well, due to events from his past. but being around all these other defects are starting to wear down his denial, and the fic is all about that. it also sets up some plot stuff, like how defects adopted a self-identifier in the word “heretic,” hence the sanctuary being named, “heretirk.” (hey look my url!) (no, the “h-word” is not heretic, either.) 

i dont wanna say what happens in that fic bc spoilers, but stuff Happens. its also when we meet some ocs that end up being important, and the existence of others are foreshadowed. this is also where we meet the tallests’ future advisor, rarl kove, for the first time, as a local who decides to keep them company. purple bonds with kove due to their shared interest in politics, while red reluctantly bonds with titch, a young irken (a smeet in heretirken standards, an adult in imperial standards- did i mention he and red are roughly the same age? lol) who is interested in military stuff and thrill-seeking and general destruction. titch is pissed because he claims his father is stealthing on devastis as a military commander, but won’t let titch sneak in as a soldier, as titch is deaf. 

(fun facts: in the au, “titch” is regional slang for “a little bit.” ironically, titch the character is above-average in height.)

due to titch’s deafness, he developed “gesturespeak,” irken sign language, so he can communicate. this existing becomes important later

a oneshot called invade the system is right after h-word in publishing order. it details zim’s exploits in leaving foodcourtia, where he was assigned and infiltrating the invading academy he eventually graduates from (in this au, zim is too short to be an invader, which sucks because the hight minimums for the military are really short to begin with lmao)

the fic chronoligically after H-Word focuses on red and purple being back in their platoon on devastis, specifically red navigating his training and his relationships with two defective platoonmates, pon and zi (who are in h-word a little,) after the realization that he too is defective. it also focuses on how the irken military works, and how they train their soldiers. 

the first arc overall focuses on red and purple going thru training and such, and ends after they graduate and are on the field, working to get commander rank. (they planned to gain commander rank then leave and go back to heretirk to train an army there, as heretirk has.... no army.) in the middle of this, they’re pulled out and told they are to become the next tallest. they debate over staying and taking the job or just running to heretirk, and they ultimately decide to stay.

the next arc i call the “bridge,” tbh. its less tightly plotted than the other arcs; fics are spread apart from each other chronologically and all that. it spans the time after the tallest being appointed to a little after zim arrives on earth. it also has a couple of anthologies focusing on imperial defects- each chapter is a new character. these guys are all important and the easiest way for me to introduce their backstories without cluttering everything up is anthology style, lmao. other things that happen are a look into how the tallest work, eventually culminating with the resolution of the tallest having to Deal With Heretirk, tenn’s rescue from meekrob, and zim on earth obtaining a half-irken smeet named pip due to stealing an Unethical Science Experiment from dib (which is pip.) the bridge is basically just. “heres some stuff that happens between point A and point B so when we get to point B you’re not confused as all hell.” 

the next arc focuses on zim. in the first fic, pip is sick and zim is trying to get into his neighbor’s pants, to cope. this basically sets up that zim in this au has no idea how to find personal fulfillment in living- he’s only OK if he focuses on pleasing someone else, be it taking care of pip or doting on the neighbor, some rando human named piqu (pronounced, “peek.”) this is mainly a cute romance story with the underlying veneer of “a child is slowly and painfully dying” in the background. fun! 

without spoiling the circumstances, zim and pip end up on heretirk, which at this point is its own independent planet. pip is in the hospital for most of it so zim has to do his own thing. computer fans rejoice bc hes basically zims dad at this point, who tells him to go outside and get some fresh air and talk to the locals instead of schmooping or screaming in anxiety. im sneakily introducing more characters like ini, the “next-gen zim;” a short bio-engineer (she works on PAKs) who was constantly passed over by everyone because they dont trust someone that short or they dont trust someone that spazzy, even though shes actually brilliant. also her brother mo, who’s a pilot that NOBODY will teach military-class ships to (at this point, HTK has a population of ex-military that had their old ships, but still no formal army) because he doesnt talk and they think hes “slow” as a result. for the curious, he is physically able to talk most times, he just doesnt like it. zim ends up teaching him how to fly military-class which ends up being important laterrr

(haha ini and mo. wheres meenie and minie? ILL GET TO THEM)

no really, theyre quadruplets. named ini, myni, minie, and mo. these are real characters. 

minie isnt introduced till later. shes too cool to be the side character in someone elses arc. she is feel uncomfortable when we are not about her.

myni is busy palling around with pip and pip’s friend “elly” (real name elevenn, with two N’s.) elly is a half-meekrob War Crime Baby and tenn’s smeet. he has vision problems (he can “see” energy signatures of things, as opposed to conventional sight. everything is monochrome and he has to really focus to see like, words on a paper. also fuck tablets) but the trade-up is telekinetic powers (that he cant use too much or his brain will melt. fun!) this isnt relevant until the arc AFTER zim’s, where they end up poking around a historical site due to myni’s interest in that kind of thing, and they find logs of an old revolution (that was actually pretty successful in their goal, before they were caught and executed,) that lead them to a man named lefy. he helps with revolutions and helped these guys, and the trio go to seek him out; myni because he wants to impress his parents with helping them, pip because after they’ve recovered enough to walk around and do stuff, feel like they need to justify the choice to save their life and make their dad proud and all that, elly because he doesnt want pip to get hurt and die. And thats where the stuff REALLY starts happening and i cant tell u more sorry

this seemed kind of disjointed but thats bc i cant really be too detailed otherwise id like.... spoil it lmfao. but thats the summary of the first few arcs.

[heat0death0of0the0universe]

i gotta talk about Narrative Telephone

I. Fucking. Love. It.

when my extreme dislike of second-hand embarrassment takes a loud backseat i can fin so much that i love about it. 

but what i love most isn't the humor. or even the continued critical role content. no, i love the allegory and the metaphor of the whole concept. 

all my life i loved the concept of watching time move forward. seeing evolution, hearing language change, watching cultures rise and fall. but what i dont like is time and the fact that im along for the ride. id rather watch evolution, not be step 48801 of a process with no end. and sadly most media and general public doesn't like watching time change. no one wants too see how the English language evolves with a rise in Spanish speaking folks and pop culture creating new idioms and words. everyone would much rather watch something with the same animals with the same people walking the same cities speaking the same language, albeit maybe with a few more neon lights and holograms to make you feel like its in some vague ~future~. but narrative telephone gives me the change i like to see. i can finally feel like im watching a story going through the times and changes of a culture.

im gonna need to explain a little more. what better way than to show off all the current episodes.

episode one is simple, pumat and the big bad wolf. the sorry starts with pumat on a stroll through the woods. he finds a talking wolf and they fight. the story ends with the pumat eating a nice mushroom and wolf stew. but the changes to the story are what get to me. i love ashley, trust me i really do. but in this context, she’s basically the dark ages. everything crumbles and the story follows in the crash. this point is when the more brothers grimm tales and nonsense folklore are added in. people dont like the night, so the seen changes to match. suddenly the wolf not only speaks, but has a beak! the fighting through being somewhat vague in the original story now is lost to time and is none existent. taliesin builds off it, changing it ever so slightly from a garbled to a more of a warning story. a story that reflects a change in a cultures thoughts on the woods. when everything was all writings and giant building the woods where just a place to rule over and harvest, but after the fall now its returned to the unexplored. the place of fey and monsters that should never be explored at night. marisha adds winter and gives it just the smallest bit of added context. a man in the woods during night before might have been seen as mad or crazy, but a man scrounging for some mushrooms in a dead forest in winter isnt tempting fate, he’s struggling to live. a shift in view also makes it so that the beaked magic wolf is just as weakened by the winter, and is easily turned away by just a voice. sam is..something. if ashley is the dark ages than id say sam is like a renaissance. specifically a very drunk renaissance. the kingdom was risen and is filled with hubris and pride.its gained a very “man falls for his hubris” greek vibe to it.  pumat has gone from scavenging to walking unbothered by cold dead winter. the kingdom has lost its enjoyment of strange creatures, monsters are still around in legend, but most have been replaced with magical people, with a clear rise in “person in an animals skin” tropes. the original fight has been mostly lost, now the story is that of a magic hunter who eyes the mushrooms taken by pumat and gives a chuckle and permission to continue exploring the woods unimpeded. pumat eats just the mushrooms, which now have gained the lupine taste, and the vague description of “he became something more” giving the idea of some sort of curse for his nature. Laura has added back the wolfs anger, but removed the suspicion of pumat. the curse is still in the end of the story though. this could be a change into more of a forbidden fruit trope. because pumat still trusted strange mushrooms in a dead forest with a magic guardian, he paid the price. travis is a sort of close to modernization of the story. its the point in time when its nonsensical nature and magic was viewed as weird and convoluted.  similar to when we look at older myths with long intricate plans and think “nice story, but poor pacing”. liam goes for the “granddad telling stories by the fire” vibe. the tale has died down and is being co-opted for new use. now the rather dark tale has turned into more of a children's storybook with messages like not to trust strangers and to not do drugs being tagged on. 

ep. 2: jesters ability to say 1000 words a second. pickadors plume is a story in a story. a story about gaining a treasure through a complex and detailed series of events  with lots of loaded lore about the world with no clear description of what the treasure truly is. liam is the first few generations. the generation close enough to the original to try and remember, but not enough to keep every detail. the best example is of the ending, where the treasure should be. humans love rewards, so a story with a vague reward isnt enough for people. in liams generation transition to the griffon, travel, and fruit specifically being the treasure begins to lay its foundations. since this is already so long i will also mention that the transition from stone shaped like a heart ---to----> stone shaped like a hut could be an example of a changing dialect and language. sam, travis, and marisha are clear evidence of a shift in culture. jesters complete backstory wasnt introduced till now. and in it comes the cultures want to explain this event. humans love simplifying, but we also love to describe things. if we want to, we will add words just as much as we remove them. the dialect changes just as much. the new word of “schtupping." has either replaced or become a synonym of the word fucking, the name of the plum as even changed too. the treasure has gone from “lost to time” to “there is treasure, i just wont name it”. but fret not, for the mystery aspect is still in the story. for now everything will disappear like it never happened, or did it? though travis specifically specifies that you keep the treasure. humans love rewards, it was gonna come back eventually. matt is the sorta an enlightening moment in the society. at the very least its the point in time where people who know geography and history say “wait, that layout doesnt make any sense”. taelisan and ashley are the beginning of the end. the slow fall into the dark ages. the story becomes vague and small. slowly becoming more of a statement and less of a story. the society is forgetting large chunks and its bleeding out into other legends. there maybe a sort of thanksgiving/ christmas sort of event spawned from or because of the myth, but the story itself isnt going to live every far (hence why its ending in a dark age and not somewhen else)

Ep. 3: boy do humans enjoy rich’s, love, and drama. sam’s story comes from a society that warns against wanting what you wish for without expecting some strings attached and features a evil ruler to boot, just so they can date the legend. the story of a delivery boy who invents a pair of glasses to see through objects and uses them to win rewards and gives them all to a rich woman that only loves him for the money, and really loves the prince. matt changes the story so the two are already in love. but also changed it so that it was the greed of the prince and the wife that lead to the heartbreak rather than the delivery boys naivety. travis changes delivery boy from a clever inventor to just already owning the glasses. both matt and travis with there respective fictional cultures are showing how humans like to remember the stuff they liked in a story, so when they forget when something specifically came in, they just fill in the blank and assume its always been there. travis specificaly begins the stories slow march to a less heartbreaking story by adding a joke to help give the couple a more flushed out relationship. this is also the shift in cultural perspective. the antagonist began his life as a evil prince, but now is simply a rotten neighbor. this could mean the myth was co-opted to fit a better role, possibly after the removal of monarchy or just of a specific bloodline.the rich wife becomes just the wife, no money involved. this is also the beginning of what a full fledged re-write of the story. now the delivery man has gone from giving up to still being in love with the wife and now even standing up for himself. (possibly a mix of when the story was of a prince and used to promote the common folk to rise up against the kings, leading to the theory of a removal of the crown). ashely...oh ashely. this moment in history atleast solidifies the love between them, and even brings back delivery husbands inventor skills. liam is the slow clawing climb back up out of the collapse. he’s still very much in the collapse of the kingdom. but aleast its just before when begin to solidify into the new meta of the era. laura and taelisin’s era is a complete re-write after the collapse of the society. the focus has moved to more of a folk-hero style legend about rising above through theft and cheating (could mean that after the collapse the culture around theft changed from crime to fighting to survive. the antagonist has really changed from being the bad guy to just in the love triangle. the society seems to agree with every polyamourous person when we all say “this how drama triangle could have been avoided if you guys all just got together”. marisha’s only real change a more modernization from “specticals” to “goggles” and that the culture either wants to make half-orcs feel more inclusive or just really dont like goliaths and changed it. 

ep. 4: deargodfinallyigottheneedtowritethisoutofmysystemsoletsspeedrunthisshit. liams story is an analogy for the horrors, pointlessness, and sacrifics of war. but over time the story shifts from a “we did this to ourselves” narrative to a “an outside force did this to use”. this shifts the goal from a need for peace to a need to protect everyone for the sake of the many. ill write more later but dear god i my hand might fall off soon

[xianglingslesbian]

way of kings, Satsuki’s moving castle (👀), Daiki’s basketball (👀👀), oh no he’s hot, and unstoppable force/immovable object pls

ah hihi! ty for the ask!! <3 this got very long so i am putting it under a cut

the way of kings

this is basically just a knb stormlight au lmaooo. i actually dont have much yet its just a vague outline and the main character placements. i also have to work out a LOT of stuff bc. heralds. i’ll list the placements i have for now!!

kaladin - hyuuga OR aomine i really cannot decide smh. EDIT HOLY SHIT MIDORIMA IS THE PERFECT KALADIN 

adolin - kise bc you cant tell me that ‘“fight me!” adolin said’ isn’t PEAK kise energy

shallan - .......izuki. puns? puns. also yay for shared insecurity complexes and refusal to address their own mental health

dalinar - kasamatsucchi <3 he has the eyebrows and the blue uniform don’t @ me

jasnah - uhh araki, solely because i didn’t wanna change au!jasnah’s gender. otherwise 100% would have been midorima

sadeas - imayoshit :) everyone flip off the manipulative bastard

renarin - kurokooooo!! okay but the idea of a person construed as weak finding their own way in the world is really similar b/w these two

sylphrena - momoi <333 syl rlly do have momoi energy tbh

i do have a couple more placements BUT idk where ur at in the series and it could be a potential spoiler so i’m gonna shut up now. tagging @serenesavagery bc i think she’d like this ily saori

satsuki’s moving castle

ok here’s an AU i actually have shit planned out for (and some chapters written) lmaooo it’s a momoi/riko howl AU!! riko = sophie + momoi = howl is rlly fun to write lol. also aomine is calcifer bc let’s be real that tiny fire demon was basically just demon!aomine. the chapter titles in this one are gold tbh i’m really proud of them -- examples are, “Do YOU Want A Charming Stranger To Sweep You Off Your Feet? [Not Clickbait]” and “Riko Aida Presents - Being Old Sucks, Part 1/? (Also, There's A Demon But That’s Not Important)”.

tiny snippet: 

Riko could feel the stirrings of heat in her cheeks as Satsuki pressed against her, arm laying on her hand. 

“Let me,” she said sweetly. Dazed, Riko did so, moving aside so Satsuki had better access to the food. 

“Hand me a couple of eggs and some more bacon, please,” Satsuki instructed. Riko complied, doing her best to keep her composure. This was the wicked wizard Satsuki, not just any pretty girl - she had to be on her guard. 

Satsuki cooked much the same way Riko did, planting a few doubts in the now-aged girl’s mind. Eggshells in the eggs, blackened bacon… perhaps her cooking really was bad.

Then again, from what she’d seen of Junpei, he did have a tendency to exaggerate.

“no its totally not gay for a girl to cook over your shoulder what do you mean” - aida riko, circa 1920 (approx. when this is set bc it follows the ghibli movie)

daiki’s basketball

yes its an aomine-kuroko roleswap yes i like torturing myself because it comes w/the bonus of inflicting this upon my readers. it’s my first multichapter, and like ewbts it’s also half posted and then i realised how shittily i’d written it so i started rewriting smh. the only redeemable bit about v1 is the summary bc it’s good for my summary standards: 

tetsu had changed. tetsu was no longer his partner. but daiki saw that same spark in kagami, and even if he wasn’t one for sappy romantic stuff like tetsu, maybe this time… maybe this time the light he picked would stay with him.

im not crying you are

a small snippet: 

“Well, you like painting. Maybe paint a basketball on the school wall or something?” Satsuki suggested absently, still looking at the giant chocolate fountain. It couldn’t hurt to go in and try it, right?

“Thanks, Satsuki.” Daiki’s voice had a sudden spark to it, and Satsuki’s eyes shot wide as she realised what she’d said.

“No - Dai, wait! You can’t-” But he’d already cut the call.

Oh, God save Satsuki Momoi.

(yes. he did actually. paint the fucking school wall. god save momoi indeed)

oh no he’s hot

this is an older idea but one i still love tbh! i have to work around the setting bc i wanna set it in not-america 😂 i have a summary written up which describes it well so i will plug it: 

Everything was in place. Zuko would have adopted Izumi by this time tomorrow; would have met the demands of his company; would be a father, the best one that he could. He had to admit he was a little more than excited - it’s not every day that you get to be a father, and especially not to a firecracker like Izumi. Now, if only Izumi’s social worker weren’t this attractive… and if only he weren’t the same man that Zuko had been absolutely, abominably horrible to the previous week.

its a zukka modern AU in which zuko is running his dad’s company after ousting ozai, and the board pressures him to get an heir. ace gay bean zuko decides he’ll adopt instead. also azula/katara subplot with katara being an intern at azula’s hospital (NOT in charge of azula tho bc that can lead to some weird power dynamics). highkey slowburn romance tbh. zukka hate each other for only a bit, but the friendzoning is unreal lmao

immovable object meets unstoppable force

this is a set of legend of korra rewrite oneshots! basically im trying to fix all the colorism, sexism and other issues + give a better rep to korrasami bc lbr we deserved more development. also side character rights <3 

i actually have posted one fic of it here so i suppose this counts as a snippet? its pema/lin hahaha yay for lesbians

--

thank you so much for this ask i just really ran away with it i get excited talking about my projects and wow now i have fuel for daiki’s basketball again so that might just be the one i finish soonest <3 

[vincent-frankenstein]

different anon, but heck yeah u should definitely infodump about lucid dreaming!! im really interested in it

aaaaa okay !!! uh hold onto ur ears yall im abt to talk em off lmao

so !! if u didnt know, lucid dreaming is basically when you become aware that you’re dreaming while youre in a dream. once you’re aware, you can take control of the dream in literally any way u want — u can do anything, go anywhere, meet anyone, all with the knowledge that nothing can hurt u and nothing can stop u

its a fascinating concept and, the feeling when u actually become lucid for the first time? its better than anything else in the world. its the most invigorating thing u can ever feel, i think. but actually becoming lucid is, ,, , , hm. a time and a half. 

putting the rest under a cut bc, hooooo boy this is gonna get long

first things first! you absolutely have to keep a dream journal. forgetting ur dreams is all well and good when ur not trying to accomplish anything in them, but if you become lucid and then wake up with only the vaguest memory of what you actually did? thats painful.

u can either go all out and get a fancy journal and write them down physically each morning, or u can do what i do and just download an app. i personally use the app Dream Catcher, which lets u tag ur dreams for easy organization. just get in the habit of writing down your dreams every morning, and if you really, really cant remember anything, just write down that you didnt dream anything that day. you’ll train your brain to remember your dreams better

secondly! reality checks! are absolutely imperative! the idea behind them is that, if you do something throughout the day that “proves” your reality, eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams as well. for example, a common thing in my dreams is that i’ll have extra fingers, so i check my hands a lot throughout the day. 

it can’t just be a casual thing, too. if all you do is glance at your hands and b like “yo looks normal, we gucci”, then you’ll do the same in your dreams even if you have Weird hands. trust me, Dream-You is an idiot, you gotta be obvious with this stuff. take a few moments, look at your hands, count out your fingers, and really think to yourself “am i dreaming?”

try to get in the habit of doing that at least 15 times a day, and eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams too. 

now, if you just stick with doing those two things — which is what i’m doing right now — your chances of becoming lucid will raise astronomically. even just those two tiny things can train your brain into realizing when the world around you is real and when it isnt. you can also attempt something really easy called a MILD — a mnemonic-induced-lucid-dream — which can help your chances even more without upping the effort 

whenever you go to bed, just take a few moments — even just five minutes can help — and just. lay there. and think to urself, again and again “the next scene will be a dream” or “i will become lucid in my dreams tonight” or something similar. get ur brain really focused on lucid dreaming right before you fall asleep and chances are, those Vibes will bleed over into ur dreams and you’ll become lucid

practice those three things consistently, every day, and pretty soon you’ll start becoming lucid. it takes time, though! dont be discouraged if you end up not becoming lucid for the first few weeks, or even months. sometimes your brain just needs a bit of extra training

that’s what ive been doing for the past year or so — bc damn do i Not have the energy to actually put in too much effort — but!!! there are other techniques!!

my personal favorite is the WBTB, or wake-back-to-bed method. with this technique, you set your alarm for roughly 5-6 hours after you go to sleep so you’ll wake up inside of one of your REM cycles, specifically one where your dreams will be the most vivid. dont do anything, just roll over and go right back to sleep. 

you can even use a MILD along with this, repeat whatever mantra u usually use as you fall back asleep. you should start to see hypnagogic imagery — blobs of color and vague shapes floating before your eyes. just observe them. at one point, they’ll start forming more familiar shapes, and places, and maybe even people — and there should be a moment, a snap, where you go from observing these images to actually being in the scene. you literally build the dream around yourself, its magical

i have read that WBTB can cause sleep paralysis, but i’ve never personally experienced any problems with it, aside from the fact that im always tired the next day.

another thing that could severely increase your chances of being lucid but also involves Effort — meditation. specifically mindfulness meditation. the act of bringing full awareness to your Existence, honing in on just Your body, Your mind, Your breath, will make you a more aware, mindful person, which in turn makes you more perceptive of dream signs. also, the ability to clear your mind and center yourself with a moment’s notice really comes in handy when the dream becomes destabilized and you have to take control

if ur an adhd lad like me — or neurodivergent in any way, really — the idea of meditation can be,,,, terrifying. honestly, i havent meditated in like six months now, because it really wasnt?? doing anything for me?? mostly because im absolutely incapable of sitting still for that long without Something to stimulate me

so! loophole! guided meditations. having someone else guide you through the process can make it a bit easier to focus. just find one that works for u on youtube. there are even guided meditations made specifically to prime ur brain for lucid dreaming!

so thats how you get lucid. now for when youre lucid

at first, lucid dreaming is going to be extremely hard. dreams fall apart very easily — if you get too overexcited or if a dream-character looks at you the wrong way or if you cant seem to do what you want to do, your lucidity can fade and you’ll either go back to being your normal dream self or you’ll wake up. dreams are volatile and hard to control, and even harder to master

thats where meditation comes in handy. youll have a much easier time controlling your dreams if you can look at the world around you, take a breath, center yourself, and know that you can control it. that being said, you can absolutely learn to take control without ever having meditated a day in your life. its all about your mindset!

you have to go into it with confidence. the key to controlling your dreams is knowing that they’re your dreams. you cant forget that you’re in control. thats why i feel like learning to lucid dream doubles as a lesson in self-confidence — you have to learn to trust yourself, trust that you can handle any scenario thrown at you and come out on top.

if you can achieve this mindset, you can literally do anything. ive had maybe 50 lucid dreams since i started learning about them — which… is honestly a really low amount, but. i havent really had the time/energy to really throw myself into it  as much as i want to. but just in those dreams, ive flown, ive shapeshifted, ive met my sides, ive teleported to vast, gorgeous lands and seen some of the most beautiful things ive ever seen. anything is possible in a lucid dream; thats why its so worth it to put in the effort

but when youre first starting out, itll be extremely hard to maintain that mindset. like i said, Dream-you is dumb as shit — you’ll forget youre dreaming, you’ll be unable to control anything, you’ll wake up before you manage to accomplish anything. more often than not, the dream will destabilize, which is Not Fun

if the dream starts to destabilize — basically, if things start going fuzzy or vague, if you suddenly cant see, if you can feel ur body in bed, basically anything that points towards you waking up — there are ways to fix it. literally just spinning around helps for some reason? spin around, fall down, run ur hands along anything u can find and feel the texture, or just demand that the dream stabilize itself. most of the time, thatll work

and if it doesnt, dont be discouraged. theres always another night to dream

so basically: start a dream journal, do reality checks, mmmmaybe meditate if youre up for it, and your dreams will become like. at least 10x more interesting. trust me, try flying: its literally the best feeling in the entire world

its just !!! such a huge, incredible thing, and its so fascinating to learn about too. all the different ways you can train your brain, all the different things you can do, all the studies done on the subject. i suggest reading about Steven LaBerge or keith hearne. hearne led the study that proved lucid dreaming existed in the first place! he got a lucid dreamer to signal to him that he was conscious while asleep using REM (rapid-eye movement), because lucid dreaming happens during the REM state. also, robert waggoner’s book Gateway to the Inner Self is really fascinating too!

hm wow i really went ham here lmao

thanku for giving me a chance to infodump im very happy rn

[zeravmeta]

Ok so, my thoughts on the VR ending and VR overall as the 6th entry.

Also because most of my thoughts aren't...complimentary im editing the names so they dont appear in the general tag. This also got LONG so readmore.

The Good:

- A//i's character still managed to be the one thing that saves VR as a show for me. Even with all the weird...contradictory plot issues, A//i still manages to be a compelling character who brings up the question of the right to live. I actually do like how he made it so itd be an ultimatum that he loses in either way, even if the ending kinda ruins the weight behind the action (which I will get to in a bit).

The meh:

-the ending was left somewhat open to interpretation which for a show as...empty as this was works out but honestly it was so vague as to A//is fate is that it may as well not exist.

The Bad:

-The main conflict behind the entire show is...simulations. No joke. Every conflict in the show can be traced back to someone doing a simulation and deciding to lose it. Even if they gave the (rather stupid) explanation that AI experience simulations like actual life (which btw the first villain wasnt an AI so this reason doesnt work), the fact that Yu//sa//ku took a bullet for one of A//is robot bodies that he literally has millions of is...just stupid and there solely for the "uwu drama".

-They actually killed A//i off but wait hes actually alive, so like the final duel literally had no purpose aside from...drama??? The episode is called Compromise and yet A//i had to lose just to keep Yu//sa///kus win streak and theres no compromise whatsoever. Yu//sa//ku litetally destroys the CompromA.I.se card so its just, no comrpomise in any way.

-This....wasn't a happy ending??? I have no idea why both the show and the fanbase frame this as a happy ending bc think about it in context: A//i pretty much loses everything, so does Yu//sa//ku who just isolated himself from everyone else for 3 months in order to comb the network for whatever remnants of A//i exist.

- So many of the supporting characters are just...there. Like, there is no side/supporting character who actually has a character arc in this show. Lets go through the list: Ao//i is pretty much the same character as when she started and goes through 2 unnecessary costume changes for a character growth that isnt there because she has literally ONE victory against an opponent that was stated multiple times to be weak and faulty and have her lose and tortured multiple times for no reason whatsoever, G//o had this weird deterioration that may have lead to something but ultimately didn't, Ak//ira is pretty much the same, J//in has ALL HIS TRAUMA ERASED SO THERES THAT, literally the only side characters who have some sembalnce of an arc are Sho//ichi (the best one anyways) from his "betrayal" in S2, and E//ma with her reconciliation with her brother. Outside of that, nothing. Yu//sa//ku, Re//volv//er and Ho//mu//ra are pretty much the only characters with an arc and even then they're not too solid? Which brings me to-

- Yu//sa//ku has been so wildly ooc since the end of S1. Ive seen so many say that his enphasis on bonds and friendship are character growth but actually looking at the sequence of events he suddenly just like. changes completely around his first duel with Ea//rth. Plus, the message of "revenge is good" was always so weird? Like, he got his revenge so all his trauma is ok now and never brought up or explored again aside from within the first 20 episodes. Theres nothing about it after that and its never built upon. The whole point of a revenge arc is to show that its BAD and yet he starts preaching that revenge is wrong AFTER he successfully gets revenge??? And even then its not exactly a revenge as it is more lashing out since it was Ko//ga//mi who was behind it all. Yu//sa/ku was definitely at his strongest characterization in S1 where we see how badly the Lo//st Incid//ent hurt him but S1 had its own share of problems that led into S2 and so many random plot threads that never went anywhere (such as the Anot//her Incid//ents, the Cy//berse deck being irl despite that A//i didnt have a physical body before then, The Bl//ue Mai//den meetup that was repeated by Nao//ki like 10 times in S2 which seemed to be leading up to something but never did, and the fact that theres 4 recap episodes in S1 already spelled some early problems). So much of the supporting cast function to just say "he turned this whole situation around...with ONE card..." i kid you not watch back every Yu//sa//ku duel I GUARANTEE you'll see someone saying hes a great duelist and serve only that purpose. ALSO THE END OF THE SHOW IS JUST MORE DRAMA?? They make him suffer for no reason other than that they can??? What purpose does his suffering at the end serve aside from just "uwu...poor baby..."???

-Re//volv//er is not a good rival. At all. He's so incredibly bland because much like Yu//sa//ku he was at his strongest characterization in S1 where he actually had some solid motivation in continuing his fathers work and being unable to accept that his dad was evil, yet most of that just flies out the window with all the collateral he's willing to inflict with the K//O//H?? All his character amounts too post S1 is "yeah i told you robots are evil and YOU didnt believe me". The most we got of him growing out of this mindset was calling A//i by his name exactly one time and nothing ever again. Also the fact that in the end we see him and his crew working for S//O//L despite the fact that they were gonna turn themselves in for their crimes just. leaves a rotten taste in my mouth. hes not a good rival at all. All he proves to me is that a good design can get anyone to like a character.

- Ho//mu//ra is...there. I literally cant say anything about him because he absolutely has the strongest motivations of the three but then the show jumps through hoops to push him to the back of the other two. He also has a bunch of early victories I do feel are undeserved (ESPECIALLY the A//oi duel that one pissed me off so much). Also the fact that the show just made him Yu//sa//kus friend immediately whereas it took Sho//ichi several months to get Yu//sa//ku to warm up to him just had me :/.

-The speed duels were a cool concept but they just became these huge cheat fests? Seriously Play//Maker uses StAccess literally every speed duel to pull out a new monster from whatever plot holes the writers need to patch up. I am not kidding. You can go back to every single speed duel Yu//sa//ku was in and youll see this. Skills just werent a good mechanic because when a protag pulls a new card its supposed to be representative of some growth/characterization but he stays the same pretty much throughout the entire show up until S2 where he wildly just switches personality. Plus the fact that Que//en could literally use a skill whenever just shows that it was cheating???

- The villains were overall lackluster. Boh//man was the best because Re//volv//er is just flat whereas A//i struck me more as an anti hero. And again: simulations are the enemy. Light//ning ran one and decided to go ham. Kog//ami ran one and decided to go ham. A//i ran one and decided to go ham. The conflicts are all the same and it just makes things happen rather than following a consistent plot thread? I will say that Boh//mans characterization of a hive mind to become perfect does strike my tastes but thats more my personal preference in villains rather than any merit he has.

- This is a bit of a personal pet peeve but I've seen some of the praise to this show about being the "darkest Y//G//O to date so therefore its good" and im just...no? Edge does not make a good show and just because they lightly focused on the tragedy in Yu//sa//kus life (and it IS lightly because its barely touched upon after mid S1) most of the stuff that happens in this show is pretty tame in comparison? The most that happened here was an attempted global hack of everyones minds from S2 and destroying the internet in S1, with a few references to the torture that happened during the Lo//st incid//ent. To compare: the previous series had this huge interdimensional war that, even if they could reverse the carding of people (which makes Den//nis' attempted suicide even more tragic), ended with an entire dimensions full of brainwashed soldier children, a dimension with huge class inequality that was still being heavily worked upon since there were canonically slaves, and a dimension that was savaged by a genocide and total global destruction. Hell, the series before that had a huge war where the arc actually did focus on the tragedys the characters faced and held consequence (even if they pulled a dbz revive everyone at the end). And as far back into the very first series there were even more graphic depictions of war and death? Idk i feel like people are overplaying the edge here just to find a way to complement this show.

Overall:

I'm...genuinely dissappointed. VR really had so many strong starting points but it all just fell apart at execution. Really the only reason I even bothered to watch it as kong as I did was because Im a longtime fan of the series and wanted to give it a chance rather than jump on whatever love/hate train the show has. Its been rated poorly on the JP side and most of the approval is a vocal minority. Just to be clear: this isnt me bashing the show, my opinions are mine and you can agree or disagree to any capacity, and even if a show isnt well written you can still find a reason to enjoy it despite the flaws.

But if Im being perfectly honest? I do not like this show. It's rushed, choppy, has no consistent or clear plot threads, most of the genuinely interesting characters are wasted for the protagonist to look better and he never really does because he ALSO has an interesting idea behind him but it never goes anywhere. It started strong but ended so poorly. Id be angry but im more dissappointed because Ive watched this show from day 1 and wanted to see the good things it has rather than focus on the negatibes but. yeah. This show really had potential and yet it just fell flat.

[getallemeralds]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[felix-loves-albert-and-ralb-blog]

Losing My Mind Part 8: Kid Blink

all previous chapters are tagged under “losing my mind” pairings: crack (jackcrutchie for all you nonbelievers), ralbert, spromeo, blush, newsbians, davey/happiness friendships: crutchie and albert, specs and albert and crutchie, albert and les, specs and crutchie, kid blink and davey, jack and albert, jack and mush, les and jojo, finch and jack warnings: all previous warnings, there’s a gun in this chapter, violence, blood, self-hatred, burns, abuse, swearing, homophobia, panic attacks, choking, a bunch of other horrible shit, uh albert low-key hates himself, ableism, lots of characters have depression, and quite a few have anxiety editing: for once, yes

pov: kid blink

authors note: davey has been awake for like an hour or two, its late afternoon

I still feel like I can’t breathe.

It was days ago when it happened, but I still can’t breathe. Two guys pinned me to the wall, and I had only been expecting hits.

Hits I can handle.

And then suddenly there was a big guy in front of me, one that looked vaguely familiar, one that pointed a gun right at my face. I screamed, and then suddenly I couldn’t. Cold metal in my mouth, pressing down on my tongue, crawling its way to my throat.

“I’m gonna shoot your goddamned guts out.”

I couldn’t breathe, I was sure I was going to die right then.

I was choking and gagging, I could feel hot sticky bile rising up to fight against the gun.

“You deserve it, Louis.” The man growled, and that was when I recognized him.

I tried to force out a word, something, anything that could save me, but the pistol was still held firmly in place.

I thought I was going to die.

I was sure of it.

And then suddenly the metal receded, and the holder of the gun was pulled away roughly by a cop. I collapsed to the floor, gasping for air, retching on the nice plush carpet Medda always told us not to track mud on, but suddenly I was pulled away too. Another cop was holding me tightly by my upper arm, dragging me away, out of the theatre and into the cold chill of the night. I was shoved into a carriage already filled with half a dozen of my brothers. I was still coughing like mad, I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs.

And him.

I never thought I’d have to see him again.

I left for good, escaped to Manhattan.

My head is spinning, and I feel nauseous again.

I need to talk to someone, I have to, but I don’t know who. I’ve told Mush my story a million times, and I think everyone knows it at least secondhand. I need someone with a cool head and who’s good at listening.

Davey.

I open my eyes and get up from my bunk. I don’t know why I laid down in the first place, I’m never able to nap in the middle of the day.

“Davey?” I ask tentatively, wandering over to his bunk. He’s just sitting on the thin mattress, staring at the wall. “Can I talk ta ya? If ya don’t mind?”

“Sure, Blink.” Davey says after a moment of pause.

Is this a good idea? Does he really want to talk? He’s probably just being nice. He only just woke up an hour or two ago, why would he want to talk to me?

I sit down next to him on the bed.

“I saw my brother.” I say.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, at the rally. He tried to shove a gun down my throat.”

“Blink...”

“I ain’t seen ‘im since who knows how long. I used ta live down in Brooklyn with my Pa an’ my two older brothers, but I left when I got this.” I gesture to my eyepatch. “Got a bottle straight ta the face. Messed up my eye real bad, but I was already across the bridge by the time I realized I was half blind. Jack found me bleedin’ in an alley an’ carried me ta Medda’s. She helped me, I got my patch, an’ then I became a newsie.”

“Wow.”

“Kinda a lot ta take in, I guess. I’se real talkative, I’se sorry.”

“I-”

“I dunno why I talk so much. It really only gets me into trouble. ‘Sides, none of the other fellas talk as much as I do. About serious stuff, I mean. Race talks a bunch, but not much ‘bout his past. I told nearly everyone ‘bout myself, I just can’t seem ta keep it in. I gotta talk, I dunno why. An’ now I jus’ keep blabbin’ on. You jus’ went through hell an’ here I am complainin’. I-”

“Blink, it’s okay.” Davey says.

“Are ya sure? ‘Cause-”

“I could use something else to focus on right now. I don’t really want to think about anything going on in my life right now.”

“Don’t we all.” I agree.

We sit there for a moment, just two friends sitting on a bench in Central Park, and it’s nice. I smile at Davey, and Davey smiles at me.

“Did I ever tell ya the story ‘bout how Race an’ Albert got themselves stuck in a tree?” I ask.

Davey beams at me, and I start talking.

alright so... this was a whirlwind of a chapter! fun fact, the real kid blink actually got a gun shoved down his throat during the strike.

this chapter was really cool for me to write because most of the newsies i write as keeping in emotions and not letting anyone know anything about their past but i thought blink would just be super talkative and it was really interesting to write in a pov of someone who copes with things by talking and sharing instead of staying silent if that makes sense

let me know if you wanna be added to my tag list!

TAG LIST @broadwaybooksandbagels @somekindaspacecadet @tea-and-theater @be-more-chill-evan-hansen @auspicioustarantula @dancingpenss @suddenly-im-respectable @have-we-got-news-for-you @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @funnyihope @snakesarenonexistent @pansalexual @sunshine-e-cigarettes