#im having full nights of sleep again which is a blessing from the heavens

[fipindustries]

today i fell asleep during yoga

at the end of every class we have a relaxation moment where we lay on our back, close our eyes and try to empty our heads of all thought while hearing relaxing music and the teacher gongs that special bowl gong bell that some yoga instructors have.

i fucking completly blacked out. i didnt even registered what happened. one second i was there and the next i was teleported a few minutes later. they tried to wake me in many ways by turning the lights on and calling my name and i didnt even registered it.

so yeah pretty good all in all

[opalescient]

haikyuu fic recs — the most beautiful, lovely, breathtaking masterlist (vol. I)

so i’ve been binging fics to cure my sadness, and i thought that these select masterpieces were too magnificent to not be plastered on every billboard ever. some tore my soul into shreds, while others melted said shreds back whole, but all of them made me feel some form of sheer, unadulterated love, so. please enjoy! 🥰⛅️✨

note: all of these fics are exquisite and you should read all of them, but if you’re short of time, those with ☆ are my all-time favourites!

daisuga

butterfly in the subway by bigspoonnoya ☆ | T

Sugawara Koushi has no idea he's already in love with the man he's supposed to hate.

i lovelovelove how all the concepts tied in together like a perfectly wrapped gift

also very wholesome, made me feel so inexplicably warm. like, love can exist everywhere!!! despite everything!!! that’s just so inspiring

i revisited this many times, i think it was (one of) my first haikyuu fics and honestly. it set the bar so high and i have no regrets

you’d fit my lonely arms so perfectly by boxofwonder ☆ | G

“Oh. You're. Not Asahi.”

Calmed down enough that he can speak again, Daichi takes a deep breath, his smile settling on his face easily and wide.

“Not as far as I know, no.”

-

Suga accidentally calls a stranger instead of his best friend, tells him all about his burned batch of cookies before realising, and that particular mistake might turn out the best one he ever made.

major, major fluff

the buildup!!!

god this made my yearning for love so much worse

the perfect stranger by downmoon | T

There’s a man standing outside Suga's door.

Scratch that. Start over.

There’s a man he doesn’t know standing outside his door, holding his sleeping nephew in one arm, with another kid clinging tightly to his free hand.

so domestic please read the entire series from start to finish it has my whole heart

shoyou and tobio as their actual kids 🥺

these two parents are so in love it makes me wanna cry

asanoya

silica sand by lilien passe ☆ | G

Overworked, over-stressed programmer Azumane Asahi works on the top floor of a Shinjuku skyscraper. Nervous around his coworkers and terrified of the long drop on the other side of the window, Asahi falls into a miserable routine, only to have it broken one day by a simple message on the outside of the glass.

PLEASE. so well-written it makes my heart glow and ache simultaneously

made me ascend into asanoya heaven

such a brilliantly unique concept i love it A+

qué syrah syrah by loudlucy | M

Asahi wants to be a Master Sommelier. It's the highest honor in wine service, and the certification would allow him to live the life he's always envisioned for himself. Too bad the certification test is notorious for being the world's most difficult.

Most people fail their first time taking the exam, and Asahi is no exception, but he has more difficulty than most dusting himself off and getting back on his feet. Enter Nishinoya, a young man who shares his same dream, and who believes in their goals so fiercely it forces Asahi to embark on a delicious and sensuous journey of viticulture and validation.

AKA The Wine Tasting AU that literally no one even knew to ask for.

NOTE: You Do Not Need to Know About Wine to Understand This Fic!

another super unique concept!!! (´∀｀=)

my god their chemistry is amazing

the writing made me feel things ngl

stop my bones from wondering by cerasi ☆ | T

After graduation, Asahi hides from the world and needs help from a few sources to find his way back.

i want to write sonnets and sing ballads for this fic, it’s that beautiful

as always, Top Notch Writing *chef’s kiss*

no but i seriously... can i kiss the author? asking for a friend 😳👉🏼👈🏼

iwaoi

star-crossed by starlitcities | T

“I never thought I’d see the day that I’d envy a human,” Oikawa admits, showering himself in tiny suns, because he can actually feels those, like a fusillade of warm kisses on luminous skin that leave marks. To humans, they’d be freckles. Skin stars, Oikawa calls them. He didn’t make that up, a human did.

“Who created the rule that we can’t touch, I wonder,” Iwaizumi ponders, floating heedlessly through space.

“Maybe it’s because we can fly. Humans dream of flying, right?”

“I don’t think so.”

gsjsgsjshsjshsjsj star!iwaoi

they’re LITERALLY STARS

beautifulbeautifulbeautiful i love how the author conveyed the beauty of touch and humanity 🥺🥺

please bless yourself further with the sequel sun-kissed

conquering the great king by suggestivescribe ☆| E

Iwaizumi blinked his gaze over to Oikawa, "Last time was supposed to be a one time thing," he said, voice low, lacking some conviction.

Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

yes.

in fact, this entire series (breaking the rules) features daisuga, kuroken, asanoya and it’s SO GOOD. every single one.

but anyway, character development!!!!! plot!!!!!!!!! writing!!!!!!!! i’m here for it all

tsukkiyama

campfire in your chest by deanpendragon ☆ | M

Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he’s probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he’s at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.

SO BEAUTIFUL

i am also a sucker for anything with stars, moons and all the love in between

no words to describe this work of art please just go read it and be blessed

under the lilac tree by raewrites | G

there’s a lilac tree in Kei’s backyard.

gorgeous in its simplicity

softtsukkisofttsukkisofttsukki

not as grandiose as the rest but the love written into every word, action and character is absolutely show-stopping

kagehina

saffron and cayenne pepper by dontsaycrazy ☆ | T

Cooking is hard. Even if you have your very attractive, very grumpy neighbor there to help you.

-

In which Hinata's lack of cooking skills are a danger to him and others. Luckily (or not), Kageyama is willing to teach him, if only for the sake of avoiding any burned down apartments.

the essence of their characters were captured so well and yet it’s like they’re completely new characters too? author, whoever you are, you totally owned this

this made me ship kagehina so hard

fluff! cuteness! lots and lots of cooing!

kuroken

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony ☆ | T

soulmate

/ˈsəʊlmeɪt/ • noun

A person who was made from the same star as you.

-

// Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives.

ahhh here it is. beautiful, heartbreaking, soul-emptying agony. you want angst? choke on this, and your tears later on.

no but seriously please read this if you haven’t you won’t regret it at all i promise

written from kenma’s perspective so you experience every depth and multitude of emotion he does and it’s so raw and- brb imma go cry for a sec

knot in my heart by hearthope | T

There’s a picture. Kenma blinks, looking at the little calico cat, being held up next to the face of a guy with stupidly messy hair and a crooked grin.

Cute.

The— the cat. The cat is cute.

Just the cat.

-

Kuroo starts spending a lot of time at the flower shop Kenma works at. Kenma definitely isn't into him.

okay so i like it when authors unravel a normally stoic character’s full scope of emotion and give them depth, sue me.

anyway, back on the fluff train!

i absolutely f*ck with flower symbolisms, cats and bitchy best friends who have dirt on each other. the layers of romance, friendship and everything in between is so prettily developed 10/10

bokuaka

the jacket you never returned by daisuga ☆☆ | G

He leaned over, kissed Bokuto on the cheek, and smiled bitterly, eyes watery.

He will never remember. Not now, not ever.

What they were will now forever be forgotten.

-

"You used to call me Keiji, Koutarou."

YOU USED TO CALL ME KEIJI, KOUTAROU!!!!!!!!!!

i beg you to listen to Spiegel im Spiegel when it’s first mentioned in the story please

i read this and screamed through my tears for a solid 1.5 hours. i rarely cry.

no f*ckin regrets though i read this thrice already and it hurts so good every time

rules by conesofdunshire ☆☆ | E

In which Akaashi Keiji is an overworked accountant who stumbles upon Bokuto one night playing the piano in the lobby of his work. Bokuto is different, that much is obvious. But with such supreme musical talent and a smile so dazzling it rivals the sun, there's just something about him that brings Akaashi back every night.

this fic. this fic has my whole, broken, sobbing heart and laughing soul

gorgeous. breathtaking. magnificent.

bokuto is so WARM and akaashi is so STRONG and they both find the solace they need in each other and it’s all i want for me 😭😭😭

in another life by littleluxray | T

Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.

The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.

this is a famous fic that i doubt any seasoned haikyuu reader wouldn’t know, and RIGHTLY SO BECAUSE, the PAIN. the pain. the pain.

i could feel my lungs shrivel up and my chest cave in on itself. fatigue and rest are things i struggle with too so this whole story resonated with me from start to finish, and it broke me. in like, the best, most revitalising way

i would read this again but it still haunts me at night. i need to heal from the first time before i have the guts to try one more time HAHAHA 😆💔😭

tea-stained polaroids by dalyeau | G

“I'm gonna date that,” Bokuto declares solemnly, and Kuroo throws a plastic spoon at his head.

mmmmmmm pretty photographer + personalised coffee cups + cute baristas = diabetic fluff fic

i smiled so much throughout this you have no idea. cheeks achey but so good

i may have squealed a little at the ending

kurotsukki

moonfall by batman | T

There is no unlearning Tetsurou, after all. There is only leaving him.

-

(Five things of Tetsurou's that ended up in Kei's home, and one that never left.)

the writing!!!!!! is pure beauty!!!! sheer grace!!!!!!! the construction of the AU and the romanticism and hsjsgsjshsj

didn’t cry but. heart ache and bittersweet smiles are another level of misery that is just as fulfilling

yea just pleasepleasepleaseplease go read it thank you and have a good day

hidden gem by realmSpinner | E

Things get complicated when everything you thought you knew about a guy changes, and they get even more complicated when you actually start liking those changes.

That guy working with you AND becoming your neighbor? That's just a cherry on top of the cake of confusion.

this AU was refreshingly different, and amazingly so

top!tsukki??? sign me the f*ck up

the whole plot, man. perfection.

pings by barfs ☆☆ | T

[5/02/16, 3:50:17 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Please wake up.

[5/02/16, 3:50:23 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I hate begging. You know I hate it.

[5/02/16, 3:50:34 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I bet you’re snickering at that, wherever you are.

[5/02/16, 3:50:53 AM] Tsukishima Kei: But, it keeps hurting and I don’t know why and it feels like shit and I know you could tell me why, but you’re not here and I would really appreciate it if you’d just wake up.

[5/02/16, 3:51:02 AM] Tsukishima Kei: You’re laughing at that too, aren’t you.

[5/02/16, 3:51:10 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Dying is probably up there in the list of top ten shitty things you’ve ever done, and you’ve done a lot of shitty things.

god.

you already know what’s coming, and yet. when it comes.

how the f*ck did the author make grief beautiful????????? (at the expense of me dying along with kei and everyone else i guess)

this fic will ruin you and bury you under all your pain (i hope you’re ready)

but also put you back together with the “sequel”

kyouhaba

close to the chest by darkmagicalgirl | T

It takes Yahaba thirteen years to realize he's different from the other kids, one to figure out how to hide it, and two more to learn to be happy just the way he is. Yahaba's journey ft. an extremely annoyed Kyoutani, best friend in the world Watari, and loads and loads of good senpai Oikawa.

cause i’m (not) alright with the slow, burn~

no fr, take slow and burn very seriously

overthinking yahaba? i understand. i do.

again, such an amazing fic; 10/10 recommend

safe here by crossbelladonna ☆ | M

“Raids are routine work,” Kyoutani tells to Yahaba before he can air the question. “Sometimes there is no sleep done until we accomplish something, say kill a certain ghoul. I guess they’re still going through the possibility that people in the accident are still alive huh?”

Yahaba quirks a smile, pushing his mask up his head.

“You’re alive.”

Kyoutani looks at him intently and all of the things that they’ve gone through for the past month seems to flash in his mind.

“Yes I am.”

i haven’t watched tokyo ghoul but i understood everything perfectly. such is the power of f*cking kickass writing

*cue ugly crying and a lot of unresolved angst*

like the grief??????? ruin me please thank you 🙏 (i think i’m a little masochistic)

rare pairs

mannequin men by surveycorpsjean ☆ | M

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tuskishima]

The modelling world is full of hungry wolves, constantly clambering over the other, snarling and desperate. They fight, and they kill, trampling over anything in their path.

In this case, Akaashi fell in love with the wolves.

i did not expect this to be good, and it wasn’t. it was SPLENDID.

akaashi is so enamoured with them from the get go i love it

a tiny bit of angst that stabbed me in the heart, but the happy ending soothed it (thankfully, because if there wasn’t one i will sue)

characterisation, writing, plot development; everything is great. can you tell i’m running out of synonyms for ‘beautiful’

feel like gold by heronfem ☆☆ | T

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/kenma]

In which Kenma is unapologetic and comfortable with who he is, Akaashi learns a lot about himself in a short period of time, Kuroo is wildly in love and an eternal survivor, and Bokuto remembers that love doesn't cure mental illness, but having a support system sure helps a lot.

Or, the one where 4 young men get together, and are helplessly, hopelessly, utterly in love despite everything.

e.e. cummings?? poetry??? f*ck yes

so beautiful. i’m so star-struck by this fic it’s simply stunning

there are no words to fully capture how worth your time and heart and mind reading this fic is so please. do yourself a favour, and fall in love with this fic with me

the sky and guilt are the only feelings i have left by oopsthisisqueertoo ☆☆ | not rated

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo]

Akaashi is at his wits end. He feels nothing. He's quickly crumbling as a human being. He wants nothing but sweet release of death. In his fourth year of college he drafts a plan for his suicide. He is to graduate, publish writing for others to be inspired by, and slip quietly away. Shortly after, he meets a dog walker named Bokuto who asks him out and Akaashi reluctantly agrees. Nothing matters anymore and he treats Bokuto like an obligation. Until he's not anymore.

TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPTS & DEPRESSION

this was... this gutted me entirely and filled my body with too many shades of agony

arguably one of the best haikyuu fics i’ve ever read

so beautiful in the most painful way fathomable; strongly recommend

april to may by surveycorpsjean | T

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tsukishima]

They're an odd family.

The four of them? Parents?

But still, they're a family.

So they'll support each other until the end.

aaahhhhh third gym as parents 🥺

so much fluff. i also love april and may

they’re still so in love there’s love in every millimetre of this fic :”)

that’s it for now! i’ll add more if i come across anymore good fics. i hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any requests/fic recs, or if u just wanna chat, feel free to just ask! hehe 🥰 k aight bye~

[wychive]

𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙨 — 𝙟. 𝙮𝙝.

pairing(s) // yunho x reader

genre // smut, fluff, soft sex basically,, non-idol!au, s/o!au

author’s note // this is my first time doing a bullet ‘oneshot’. i apologize if it’s too long! this oneshot is based off one of my friends’, @felymoon  ‘s, dream. i tried to make this gender fluid- so i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it <3

taglist will be in the replies!!

it's been a week?? since you both got married

after two years of dating, he finally proposed to you on that fine sunday twilight

you still cant believe that you got married to this?? perfect handsome soft puppy of a human

you're just baffled at the fact that the best boy is yours, forever

for your honeymoon, the tall boy decided to bring you to the city of love

as soon as he surprised you with the ticket, you were just like,,, omfg bless God for an amazing man for the 28239032932nd time

the both of you stayed at some fancy hotel near the eiffel tower

after entering the room, you both laughed at the rose petals on and around the bed

you guys decided to go to disneyland and rode on some fun yet terrifying rides!

he ofc took many pictures of you

most of them were candids of you laughing, which made him fall in love all over again

that night, you both decided to just chill and watch some cheesy romantic movies

it wasn't long before it turned into a cringe and make out session

*sees the male lead flirting with the love interest in a vvv disgusting way*

"gross. that was you on our first date."

"don't think so, y/n. as i recall you were the one who looked up 'top 10 pick-up lines”

when i wasn't looking"after one (1) movie, you both decided to just rest and chill for the rest of the night

or so you thought

yunho flipped you over and decided to give you a small tickle fest

you bursted into giggles which made him go all -////////-

he stopped and just stared lovingly at you, kinda just going damn.. this is my wife?? this fr my baby? oh we going heart eyes 24/7

"you finally calmed down and placed your hand on his chin, grasing your thumb on his bottom lip

not long after, he kissed you. the last kiss you shared wasn't even an hour ago, but this treat made you hungry for more

you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to deepen the kiss you both shared

he slipped his tongue in which earned a slight moan from you

you both grew hot by the second, wanting to strip everything you had on, off

being the gentleman he is, he paused his actions, asking if it was okay to proceed

you never had sex before as you were scared that you might regret your first time by having it with someone who wouldn’t matter in five years time

but this was yunho, the person you promised to spend your lifetime with

alas, you gave a nod. you were read

he kissed your cheek and whispered a "it'll be okay." in your ear before he went to give pecks and small licks onto your neck

your husband could feel you getting wet as his knee was pressed onto your underwear

good thing you were wearing a bathrobe

purple marks appeared on your collarbone as yunho's hands untied the knot that was shielding yourself from his touch

when he opened up the white cloth, he sat up and admired your body figure

you could see a red blush appear on his face when he bit his bottom lip

the lover before him could never be more perfect

you let your cheek lay on the pillows, embarrassed at the way he looked at you. you bit on one of your fingers

after what felt like an eternity, yunho bent down once more

he took your hand, pinning you down against the mattress

his left hand was placed on your chin and turned your head to face him

the hunger you had deep inside didn't want him to hold back, and he knew that

you smashed your lips together with him tasting the sweet cherry soda that you drank earlier

you felt like you were in heaven your hands touched his soft skin, feeling his chiseled body

this was the point where you were thankful that he slept topless

one of his hands intertwined with yours, gripping them tight

the other, grazing your body little by little, feeling your outline

after stopping the second kissing session, he chuckled at your red plump lips

he began to move downwards to your wet core

a pink tint glowed on your cheeks as you gripped his hair

yunho planted purple flowers on your skin, some hyacinths and gladiolus’

the sounds that came out of your mouth were simple yet lewd enough to turn him on even more

he made it to your clothed area

ngl, the smell of lust almost drove him wild

he slowly pulled the thin underwear off, kissing the insides of your thighs while doing so

your husband hurriedly took out a condom from the side table

you closed your eyes, not wanting to get all flustered again

"babe,," 

you heard his comforting voice, followed by slight laughter

"you can open your eyes now"

the voice was coming from above you, clearly as he had the protective rubber on already

you flutter your eyes open and immediately looked below and saw him lined up at your hole

you knew he was packing but?? excuse tf

"hey, promise me something"

“if it hurts, just tell me, i'll stop immediately"

you were taken back at his words. he really was the best person ever

you nodded, getting ready for the pain

before he pushed it in, he laced yours and his fingers once more, gripping them tighter than ever

he began to insert it slowly, keeping in mind that this was your first

you bent your neck backwards, and kept you head on the pillow

you manage to get the word 'continue' out, before letting out a small whimper

he finally pushed all the way through and bit his bottom lip, trying not to let out a loud moan

your walls clenched around him, which could make him cum right then and there

"you okay, y/n?"

"y-yea,, im fine, yunho"

he pulled it back out, almost all the way

before thrusting into you, hitting your g-spot

"f-fuck,"

your eye capsules filled with tears

it was painful, but the good kind

yunho saw this and became worried but suddenly

you moved on your own, wanting to feel more of him

he began to be filled with lust and began to thrust in and out of you at a good speed

lewd sounds came out of your mouth, as messy groans came out of his

you tried to cover your mouth from letting out too much noise but nonetheless some of them slipped out

he kissed you

the kiss was full of passion, lust and love

you returned the kiss, of course, which muffled some of the sound

you couldn't take in everything that was happening rn

you were having sex, with your husband, jeong yunho, in paris

you couldn't have dreamt for a better setting

a tight feeling in your lower abdomen caught you off guard

you arched your back, letting yourself feel the whole of his length

he knew what was happening and started thrusting into you at full speed, hitting your g-spot so well

you took one of the pillows beside you and covered your face with it, letting out a full-hearted moan as you came

yunho pulled his shaft out of you and took off the condom in the process

he stroked himself until he came onto your stomach, as you were laying there, breathless and sticky

your mind went into a haze, still trying to process everything

the love of your life immediately rushed to get a wet towel

he wiped off his aftermath on your stomach, making sure it was clean

yunho removed the pillow on your head and gave a small peck on your forehead

"you did so well, baby. i'm so proud of you."

once he came back from washing the white cloth, you were already sleeping

he smiled softly before crawling into bed with you

he laid beside you

and wrapped his hands around your bare torso

before falling asleep, next to his lifelong lover.

[bigsnzstanacct]

The King’s New Allergy (1-3/5ish I think?)

Okay this is the last one I’m gonna post for a bit I think. Male, Mer/lin fanfic if  you squint maybe, not quite gigantic sneezes but also WILDLY unrealistic in volume.

---

I. The Night Watch

“Ha-ehhhh… ehhhhhh… hHHEEEEHHHHHhhh…”

I could practically see the castle walls shaking. I was on the king’s watch, posted just outside his bedchamber. Ordinarily the night’s watch over the king’s chamber was an uneventful, easy enough job. But that was ordinarily. And these were hardly ordinary circumstances.

“hheeeEEHHH! EEEHH! HEH! HEHH! HEHHH!”

“ ‘ere he goes again…” complained Caspian, the guard assigned the watch with me, rolling his eyes, and covering his ears, for all the good it’d do. “Whole castle’ll be wakin’ up five hours early in three… two…”

I did likewise, covering my ears in preparation for the explosion.

“HUUUUUUUHHHHHH…”

“…one…”

“HUUURRRRRRRRRSSSSCCCCHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” The king fairly roared.

I heard more than one started yelp in the aftermath of the king’s sneeze. But those were faint, only perceptible to an elite guard like myself, trained to notice all manner of slight, subtle noises. The king’s sneeze, however, was neither slight, nor subtle. It was a veritable war-cry. Worse than a war-cry, I myself had heard the king’s war-cry and it had nothing on his all-consuming, castle-awakening, sleep-destroying…

“HHHHHAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRSSCCCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEYYYYYY!!!” Our Vesuvial monarch erupted again, adding an involuntary—surely involuntary, he SWORE up and down it was involuntary—scream to the end, in case the body of the noise hadn’t been sufficient.

“How long y’think ‘e goes on this time, Damien?” Caspian asked, nodding towards me.

Frankly, on the strength of that first wall-rattling sneeze, he was either going to blast the irritation out in four or five full-strength sneezes, or else…

“Sounds like ‘is nose is tickled right good, my friend.” I confessed, shaking my head, “I’m afraid it’ll be a long night for all of us. We’re in for more fits tonight. And he’ll be in a right mood in the morning. It don’t let him sleep anymore than it does the rest of us. If I didn’t know better, I’d think this allergy of the King’s was more than an allergy…”

“AAAAAAAAEEEERRRRRRRRRRSSCCCCHHHHHHHHUUUUHHHHHHHH!!” The nasal bombardments continued, that one less vocal, more nasal, still a wall of sound that surely awoke what precious-few castlefolk had managed to cling to sleep through his first two sneezes.

“Arrrggghhhhh… and you know if ‘e sneezes all nigh’, ‘e’ll prob’ly sneeze half the day too… that’ll be no sleep for us either.”

“Says you,” I replied, “I sleep down in the lower town.”

“You’re telling me, you can’t hear those great big galumphing—“

“AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

“That. You’re telling me you can’t hear that down in the lower town?”

“Well, of course you can. But you know my brother does a bit of the…” I wiggled my fingers a bit, to indicate the forbidden: magic.

“Warded the house ‘ave you? Smart one.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Caspian, you can still hear ‘im if it’s a really big one. But it’s faint, an’ I’m a plenty heavy sleeper when I want to be.”

“HaahHHH… AHHH-HHOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRSSCCCHHHHHHHH!!”

“Gods, that was a big one!” Caspian exclaimed, “Even after all this time, ‘e still shocks me with how big they are. I know it’s a whole ‘thing’ with the royals, the whole sneezing like the thunder thing. Lord knows the princess could rattle the walls good before they married ‘er off to whatever kingdom she’s gone to, but…”

“EEEEHHHHHHTTTSSSSSHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

“But even Princess Eleanor couldn’t compare to this,” I finished for him. And it was true, she couldn’t. None of them could. In fact, before this whole… thing started happening, I’d personally thought the whole “descended of Jupiter with sneezes of the thunder” thing was a great crock of shite. Not that I blamed them of course; royals had to have some mystique to maintain their legitimacy, and the gods know I’d worked under worse kings as a sell-sword, before I found my place here. But still, seemed like another load of royal horseshit. Until a fortnight prior, when the king had been plagued with the most terrible allergy that seized upon him and wrung out of him sneezes that seemed fit to wake the dead… or perhaps to rival the thunder in their volume and violence. It hadn’t been so bad, the first few days. But after that first night, when the allergy refused to leave him, even in his sleep, awaking the king with the most awful irritations—who subsequently woke the entire castle with the most awful sternutations—the people of the castle had been less than enthusiastic, turning to barely-concealed rage. Lack of sleep did that to a castle. It wasn’t every night, of course, and it wasn’t as though the king sneezed constantly through the night, but… it was certainly enough to set the entire castle on edge. And this, the third night in a row? Well, blessed be the gods for gainful employment solely at night.

“AAAAARRRRRCCCHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The king thundered again.

“That one sounded tuckered out!” Caspian exclaimed, “y’think that means he’ll taper off soon?”

I shook my head. “It was a bit smaller than his usual but… mark me, we’ve got plenty left in this fit of his. If the gods are kind—“

“HHEEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR-CCCHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” And there was the loudest sneeze yet, perhaps the loudest I’d heard from him since the whole business began. I nearly jumped in fright, and poor Caspian leapt fully into the air. He was only lucky he stifled his squeal of shock—more than one guard had already been replaced for reacting too noisily to the king’s eruptions. Poor thing. I think it embarrassed the king. He was already suffering, he didn’t need the reminder of how much he was inconveniencing everybody else with his inability to get a hold of his accursed, enormous, explosive, seizing sinuses…

“AAAAAAEEEEEEEEESSSSSCCCCCHHHHHHHHUUUHHHHHH!!”

“If the gods are kind, we’re halfway through. If not… for all we know this fit’ll go straight into the second and we’ll barely get a reprieve for thirty minutes.”

“Gods, I don’t know how you do it.” Caspian said, shaking his head at me, and clutching at his chest, trying to recover from the fright the king had given him. “They really weren’t this bad, during the war? I know you fought in his unit, back when ‘e was just the prince.”

“Oh, well… ‘e sneezed plenty big back then too. Woke us up more than once, tho half the time I think it was on purpose. It was always suspiciously close to time to march. But that…” I shook my head, “that was a bunch of soldiers, sleeping light and sleeping rough, ready for action at any time—you know he had us on the dangerous route, aroun’ through that forest—and sure, ‘e was loud but this is—“

“HHAAAAAAAAA-SHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

“This is different. This is worse than I’ve ever heard ‘im, by far. I heard tell in the old days, if ‘e caught cold, you could hear him, real faint, down in the kitchens. But not like… you know old Caliphrea said it sounded to her like he was right next to her bedside. First night she woke up all ready to curtsey and ask what the king was doin’ in ‘er bedchambers!” I chuckled.

“You don’t think…?” Caspian said, looking at me meaningfully and giving a little wiggle to his fingers.

At last he’d got it. I’d been hinting around at it for a while, but. It wasn’t wise to speak too openly about these things. A little enchantment of a bungalow in the lower town, sure. The occasional herbal pick-me-up, a little help with the chores… that much was fine to speak about. That much had changed, since the bad old days, where magic was concerned. But this? Speculating that the king had been ensorcelled? Especially with something like this, something so close to the mythology that had always surrounded the crown? To attribute it to anything other than the king’s royal blood and manly fortitude (at least in earshot of any of the nobility) was unwise, to say the least. But now that he’d said it, I could reveal a bit more of my thoughts.

“HAAAEEEESSSSHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!! AEEEEESSCCCCHHHOOOOOOOOO!! HUUHHH… AAAATTTTTTTTTT-CCCHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEYYYYYYYYY!!!”

Or, at least, I could if the king stopped sneezing long enough for me to be heard over the din. And to think this was only his first fit of the night…

— II. The Head Cook

“EEEEEEAAAAAACCCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

Thank the gods I hadn’t bothered to attempt sleep. Five nights running, and my old bones, and my bad health, I think the king’s sneeze might have shocked me into an early grave! Saints and heavens, louder than ever! And the gods know the king would never forgive himself for that, would probably set that sorcerer of his—not that the king’s manservant was to be referred to as a sorcerer, and wasn’t that peculiar, though it’s hardly the first not-entire-secret-secret that’s gone around this old castle, including the nasty business about the king’s own mother… oh dear me I’m rambling. Well in any case, I’d die of fright, he’d send down the sorcerer to save me and before I knew it I’d find myself an undead cook, cursed to make the king’s favorite pastries for all eternity. Which, after some consideration, doesn’t sound all that bad, especially if the sorcerer fixed my aching hip. I quite like making pastries.

“Ms Caliphrea… ’e’s off again!” Tarran said, as she shuffled into the kitchen, still in her nightgown, looking harried and upset. I should never have told that girl she was my favorite of the maids—she was always seeking me out, more and more since the King’s booming sneezes had started up. She was a sweet girl, but somehow in the evenings she never had the energy to help me mix dough and cut tarts.

“Worse ’n last night!” I said, commiserating as I poured the milk and sugar in with the flour, shortly before the king proved me right with a great thundering

“HHHHHHHAAAEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSHHHHH!!!”

You really could hear him just as clear as bell, as if he’d been right next to me. Though clear as a bell might’ve been something of an understatement. The king’s sneezes—

“HHHERRRRRRRRAAAAAAASSSCCCCHHHHHEEEWWWWW!!!”

—were more like standing inside a great cathedral bell as it was being rung, filling your whole head with sound, resounding and resounding til it was all you could even think of. At least, that’s what they were like lately. The good King’s never been a quiet sneezer, that I can say with a great deal of confidence. Even when he was still the Prince and not a crowned and holy King, he’d still sneeze loud enough that I could hear down in the kitchens. Of course, then his chamber was right above the kitchens, even if a few floors of the castle above. And it was loud, true. (Although I might exaggerate the tale a bit, that’s my right as a matriarch of this castle!) But back then he wasn’t being heard in the lower town, I know that; no one sneezes that loud. Or no one did, because these days…

“EEEEEEEAAAACCCCCCHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HAAAAAACCCCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HHHHAAAEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Auuggghhh…” Tarran moaned, “I’m just so tiiiiiiired, mum. I don’t mean to complain but…” She flopped down onto the counter, rather dramatically. I must’ve been tired myself because I’d ordinarily scold her for such behavior, but I just nudged her over a bit, so I could get at the rolling pin. The first dough, that I’d made earlier in the night, would be rested and ready to roll out soon.

“But it’s just… does the King have to sneeze so loudly?” she whined, “I’m half-deaf, mum! And my sis, she works in the stables and she says it frights the horses so they’ve got to keep someone to the stables all the time and if his sneezin’ didn’t wake the stablehands as much as it does the horses…”

“He can’t help it, you know that,” I said, giving her a gentle pat on the head. “If he would, he could. The King loves his people. You know he’d do anything to make things better for us. I’ll bet the king has tried five or six times to exile himself til he gets his sneezing under control. But we need him here—”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-EEEERRRRRRRRSSSSCCCHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“MERCY!” I yelped, “that was a loud one even for ‘im! Must’ve been brewing in there for a while… now what was I saying, Tarran?”

“Blah blah blah he’s a good king and he loves us and we need him here. I don’t care, mum, I just wanna sleep!”

“Now Tarran—”

“HHHEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRSSCCCCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!”

The king sneezed again, with a scream at the end that rattled like the thunder. In fact, that’s exactly what it sounded like, like the King was a one-man storm, like a clap of thunder…

“Mum?” Tarran asked, tapping at my shoulder. “Mum, you were saying?”

“I was… I was saying…”

“HEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSCCCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The King sneezed again.

“Tarran. Tarran, have I ever told you the tale of our royal family and the great gods of Olympus?”

“The great who’s of a-what-ness??”

“The gods of Olympus… Jupiter, the King of the gods. Our royal family is descended from the god of…”

“AAAAAAAAARRRRRREEEEEESSSSSCCCCCHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Louder still. It seemed that the King’s roars were louder than thunder, louder than ever…

“Tarran… in the morning… go and fetch the physician, will you? Tell him that old Caliphrea wants to see em. Tell ‘im it’s important, and to come right away.”

“YYYEEEEEESSSCCCCHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! HEEEESSCCHHOOOOOOOOOO!!! AAAAARRRREEESCCCHHHHH!!! HEESSCCCCHHHH!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYEEEEEESSCCCCCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

“Oh by the gods!” Tarran exclaimed. “How is he doing that? If I sneezed that loud I’d… I’d blow up! It’s impossible! D’ye hear that mum? How are any of us supposed to sleep with the King storming away up there…”

I put an arm around her, going back to rolling out my dough before cutting it and putting it in the oven. The storm was over for now, you could always tell after a big fit of sneezes like that. “There there child. Run along now and catch some sleep before he starts up again. You know the King’s manservant has been called back to the castle; between him and that old physician of ours, we’ll have the King fixed right up in no time, isn’t that right?”

“Yes mum. I’m sorry… I don’t mean to speak ill of the King I’m just… I’m just so tired…”

“So run along now, and get your rest. Odds are he’ll start up again before the sun rises. Get in your winks while you can.”

“Yes mum. I hope it’s a long time before he starts up again this time. Me poor ears can’t take much more!” She whined, giving one last forlorn look back at me before she slunk back to her chambers for a bit of rest.

For me, I had plotting to do. I knew the old physician knew of the stories, the legend of the power of Jupiter and all that. All us of a certain age knew the fairytale. But not all have been in this castle as long as I have. Not all remember how the stories can come true. And besides, I had baking to do! And he was going to start up again soon. If I needed my rest, I’d take it during the day while the maids spread the food throughout the castle. Of course, the King had taken to sneezing more and more during the day as well… but with any luck, between my old stories and the physician, and the King’s sorcerer heading back this way… hopefully our nightly disruptions—and our exhausted King—would be set right soon enough.

“Sneezin’! Of all things, sneezin’!” I chuckled to myself, “Well, wonders never cease around here. I’ve certainly seen worse.” I murmured as I cut the dough and carried it towards the ovens. — Bugger. Blighter. Codswollop. Addlepate. Nincompoop. Stubborn old never-changing know-it-all arrogant clotpole of a king!

“AAAAEEEEEEEESSSSCCHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

And damn near the most attractive man in the whole history of the planet!

It was enough that he’d lied, said he was fine, said it was just a little allergy, said it was no worry at all if I went out on a quest, said he’d deal with it, said he’d solve the issue just fine on his own… and never even bothered to think that he might keep up the entire kingdom! That was all enough, but that the problem I was now—finally—called upon to solve was so gods damned distracting…

“HHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Bloody hell, they’ve gotten louder! Ohhh, you don’t know how much you’re helping me with this sleeping draught, er, I mean, this sleeping medicine." The old villager assured me. And ordinarily I would be gracious and more than glad to help but right now all I could offer him was a distracted,

“Oh, yes, of course, uh…”

For all I knew, he was nattering on in the background, joking about the draught or magic or the sneezes but oh the sneezes were all I could focus on, all I could think about, waiting for the next one to strike wondering how each one was impossibly louder than the last, standing on edge, hoping I’d be able to hide my reaction to the next gigantic, impossible, ridiculous, practically supernatural:

“WWWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEYYYYYY!!”

“Bloody hell, he’s putting me on!” The words leapt from my throat before I could contain them but by all the gods if it didn’t seem like he was making them louder, more vocal, more desperate just for me…

I had to get out of here, preferably without visibly adjusting myself.

“Alright, so nice to talk to you but I’m afraid I’ll have to go, of course I’m glad to help you, as the King’s Right Hand it’s my duty to help everyone in the kingdom but especially our beloved capitol citizens and..”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAASSSSHHHH-HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

“Oh by all the gods that was a bellow, he’s practically roaring them…” I bit my fist. Apparently whatever cursed robbed him of control of his nose left my mouth similarly uncontrollable. Who would have thought I’d ever have a secret to conceal from the people more than the magic? And yet, here I was shuffling out of a house, grateful for once for the abundance of robes our damned “apothecary” insisted I wear, because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could restrain myself from reacting to the constant eruptions coming from the throne room, where I knew he was attempting to hold court, but couldn’t because his nose, his beautiful nose, his itching, twitching, out-of-control, world wonder of a nose wouldn’t let him conduct state business, was more demanding, more powerful even than a king, forcing him to surrender every few moments to another magically-amplified:

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAARRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

He was always a loud sneezer. I wouldn’t say that was the first thing that attracted him to me. No, that wouldn’t even be true. But I wouldn’t lie and say I didn’t notice it either. He’d get colds, back when I was his manservent, and I would tend to him and try so hard to pretend every great galumphing roar of a sneeze didn’t make me want to swoon. And the servants, the kitchen staff, even the knights would laugh and joke that he had the sneezes of thunder, that they could hear him all over the castle and into the lower town, well… it might have been a joke then, but it certainly wasn’t now. Neither the range of his boistrous sternutations, nor their thunderous source.

“AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Gods!” I cried out, unable to restrain it. The townsfolk would think, there goes the King’s Right Hand, as annoyed with him as the rest of us are. But annoyance was as far from my mind as the King was from his senses when he sent me away, in the midst of what I knew was not some ordinary ailment. Even before they’d grown to their present titanic scope, I knew there was something unusual about this new allergy of his, something stronger, deeper. I almost felt my magic react—of course, I figured it wasn’t exactly my magic that was pulling me to stay with him, care for him. These things can be hard to tell apart. Apparently it was both.

Was it three? Five? Ten? Twelve? Seventeen? more roaring sneezes he released on my walk from the lower town up to the castle? I couldn’t keep track, distracted by how desperately I wanted  to go either to him, or to my chambers; to comfort him, or to relieve the ever-mounting tension I felt every time he—

“HHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSCCCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

“By the ancient—!” another bitten off curse. It was as though I was walking through a wall of sound. The shockwave of his sneeze felt as though it bodily pushed me back, washed over me like a wave. Was it my magic that was tingling my skin or was it just… me? These things could be hard to tell apart. But no, no time to focus on that. How ironic that this of all things would be the most successful attack on the kingdom in years, practically decades. How could anyone have known between his pride and my predilections, we would find this perhaps the hardest to break of all known curses?

I had trained. Trained ceaselessly, trained til I had control over my magic that I could only have dreamt of as a younger man. (And did, actually). And as such, ordinarily breaking such a curse—powers of the ancient gods notwithstanding—would be… well, if not child’s play, certainly achievable. But as desperately as I focused on the needs of our Kingdom, there was always a tendril, and edge of my dumb desire, that I could not will into the spell. To break a curse like the King’s “allergy,” one bound up in centuries old magics even I knew more by feel than by fact, would take all my concentration, all my will. But I could not bend all my will to the containment of these eruptions he called sneezes, not when there was still a part of me that found nothing in all the world more attractive.

But I had to put that out of my mind as I passed through the castle halls. I was approaching our apothecary’s chambers. My old Druid rival, turned a friend. Still, friend though he might be, I knew better than to trust him with a secret like the real reason I was unable to break this curse—the mockery might literally never end. Still, I had to suppress a shudder when the King sneezed just as I passed by the Audience Chamber, where he was still doing his best to conduct offical business.

“W-we shall not see a rihhHHHH… riiHHHHHHHHHHHH… HIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHH…”

I couldn’t help my curiosity, couldn’t help but peer in to see a chamber full of petitioners and nobles, scribes and scholars, openly bracing themselves, covering their ears, looking at the King’s working, flaring, twitching nostrils as though they were facing down a lance at a tourney, hunkering down in the hopes that their ears would survive another:

“HHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Oh by the g-gaaaAHHHH… gods I… I’m s-sorryaaaAAHHHHHH… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSCCCCCHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Damn! No rise in the tahhh… tax… oh…”

He sounded so pitiful, so miserable, so utterly at the mercy of the tickle in his nose. The sneezes sounded as though they were wrenched from him, and I cursed myself for my weakness—surely my love for him ought to be strong enough that all of my being would spare him this suffering. Surely that love ought to outweigh that tendril of silly, foolish desire…

“RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH-EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!”

I couldn’t stand this much longer, caught between the pleasure of the sight and the torment of my powerlessness, not before the King’s new allergy, but before my own stubborn selfishness. Whoever managed to work this curse, to channel the magicks of the King’s bloodline in such a frankly ridiculous way, surely they never could have suspected they would practically grind royal business to a halt, since the king could hardly get through three sentences without succumbing to sneezes that shook the castle to its foundations.

I could only hope that the apothecary had a remedy where I did not. I suspected I was still red in the face when I arrived at his chambers, to see him standing outside, smirking.

“I see you took some time to check on our monarch and his nasal bombardments,” he drawled, smirk never fading.

I could have asked him how precisely he knew I had taken such time, but I knew that was a question I would do decidedly better not to ask. “Yes, I have.” I replied tersely.

“Oh, the King’s Right Hand is too austere and wise for a bit of ribbing from the Court Physician I see. Alright, alright, we’ll play this your way.” He said, as he ushered me into his chambers. I could hear the laugh in his voice, and despite my very firm pledge never to use magic to harm, or for selfish ends, I quite wanted to curse him into silence. Although that would prevent him from telling me about his remedy, assuming he had one.

“Yes, of course, I have a solution. Never thought I’d be the one to solve a magical malady with you around but I suppose this is why it never hurts to have a backup, hm?” He said, mirth still dancing around his eyes. I perhaps would have succumbed to a desire to at least place a mild hex on him but of course, the King intervened with a—

“EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

It would be undignified, and untrue, to say I had to stifle a moan. It was just surprise.

“Ah, I see the typhoon still rages.” He said, looking up at me under coy eyelashes. “Well, it won’t for much longer, as I have devised a solution!”

I wanted to scream at him to get on with it, but frankly I didn’t trust my voice as another great cracking “HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSCCCCCCCCCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” lascerated the air.

“So, we know that you are unable to directly attack this curse. And while there are rituals I could perform—very lengthy and painful rituals which I would not at all enjoy—” his curving lips belied that statement but beyond a raised eyebrow I did not dare comment, “that would separate our King from the ancient Olympian magicks that echo through his bloodline.  Oh, pause for thunder!”

“AAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

I wanted to ask him how he knew that the King was about to sneeze yet again, but so often with the Druid it was better not knowing.

“In any case, while I could accomplish such a ritual, the consequences on our King’s temperament, abilities, and frankly his sheer dumb luck may be unpredictable. Whatever silly hedgewitch stumbled her way into this curse was dealing in forces far beyond her comprehension or abilities. In all likelihood, all of this involves nothing more than an enchantment on some pollenating plant or other that causes the pollen to excite the Olympian magicks with which our King is imbued. All that energy excited, with nowhere to go, what can it do but release. At this point, the King is probably less responding to an allergy than releasing pure Olympian magick in the only way his body knows how. Which I suppose is better than him manifesting lightning bolts, or perhaps the magic itself tearing him in two. Or three. Or five. Or any number of pieces, really, given the nature of wild mag—”

I was about to interrupt him, to demand he get to the point, but of course the King’s nose did it for me: “HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

That one seemed to be the loudest yet. Maybe this theory of magic all riled up with nowhere to go was true. And whatever the magic was, it seemed to be more and more riled by the second.

“So!” he said, either brought back on track by the King’s exp,losion or the impatience he saw on my face, “we could track down the agent causing the reaction, which would presumably involve exposing the King successively to every flower that grows in the nearby region to see which most excites the Olympian allergy, rather than the King’s ordinary sensitivities to pollen, which in turn would involve some sort of measure both of magic and of, well volume…” he continued, his smirk back and wider by the second. He wanted some sort of reaction. I wouldn’t give him one. If I could summon a yawn for myself, I would.

“But then again, the exposure might excite the Olympian magicks too much and well we’ve already discussed the possibilities there… in any case, after much thought, I have finally come to the correct conclusion! It will require your assistance, of course, although in a roundabout way, as you seem to experience some sort of… disability… when it comes to this particular magical circumstance. Our issue is that the King’s wild magick needs somewhere to go. So we shall simply tell it to go to you!”

“To me?!” I couldn’t help but blurt. I had done my best to stay stoic during his explanation—any reaction risked revealing too much—but this was too much. “You mean, when the King sneezes… forever, it will… send ancient Olympian magic into me?”

“Well, not forever. Over time it will… hm… it will establish a flow with your magic. A sort of… channel for the magic to travel. So rather than release in a sort of uncontrollable, violent…”

“HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“…that,” he chuckled, “rather than that, if his magic is excited, it will simply flow into your infinite supply of magic, of which it is already, in some sense, a part. And presumably if you are in regular and close contact with the King, which, as his Right Hand you must be, the magic will naturally flow back to him, in gradual, manageable amounts, which shouldn’t cause such a—”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!”

“--dramatic reaction.”

I couldn’t help but lean against the counter for a moment, as I felt my knees give a bit with that last sneeze. I still had reason to doubt the Druid, although his plan made sense. And he truly was an ally, he’d proven that a thousand times over. Still, his alliegence—as he regularly made plain—was not to our King, much less to our Kingdom, and still less to me, in any real way. His alliegance was to prophecies, to the Old Religion, and some role that my magic—not me, but my magic—supposedly played in their Grand Design. But at present I could have given a flying codswollop about a grand design. All I wanted was to be at the King’s side, and sooner rather than later. And I wanted this problem solved. So…

“Alright. How soon can the remedy be prepared?”

“I’ll need a list of herbs…” he said, brandishing a rather long scroll, “how would you like to relive your former days are the physician’s apprentice, and help me gather these? I couldn’t possibly entrust it to anyone else, and it will help the spell for you to have as much proximity to the ingredients as poss—”

I did indulge myself in a bit of magic to summon the scroll from his hand. I may or may not have also indulged myself in sticking my tongue out at him. Which of course only promptly caused me to bite said tongue when another great rushing

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCCCHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

—resounded through the castle. The Druid’s face remained placid, smirk constant, but I could tell inside he was quaking with laughter.

“Alright, alright, I’ll gather your ingredients. Just… help him. Please.”

“Of course I shall. I am ever at your service.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.” I muttered, as I turned to go, already scanning the scroll for the list of elements needed for this remedy.

“Hm, what was that?”

“HHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

“Sorry, couldn’t hear you over all that, gotta go!”

And with that I rushed from the Druid’s chambers. I suspected I heard a chortle through the closed door.

[thirdsisfics]

So Long As You Call Me Yours

Title: So Long As You Call Me Yours

Ships: Steve/Natasha

Words: 1376

Synopsis: Set in first half of the 18th century, young widow Natasha moves to a small island where she meets a stranger with a secret. 

Warnings: Scottish folklore AU, Chapter 1 of 2

Notes: For Romanogers week Day3. Prompt: “Beaches and Sunsets”. This is chapter 1 of 2. Read on AO3 (Both chapters are up on AO3)

A great tempest raged on the day The Widow came to the island. Some folk go so far as to say she brought the storm with her. Some say she’s blessed, that some angel or fae guided her ship safely to the island’s shores. Others say she is the storm. They whisper, “dead husband. Do you know how he died? No one does! She doesn’t say! Big city accent, Glasgow by the sound of it. And a foreign name” The wisest folk though, the wisest say nothing at all. They watch. They wait. They know what the start of a good tale sounds like. The wisest folk listen.

The sea had been calling her whole life. When her husband died, she was finally free to answer. She didn’t know what the Outer Hebridean island of Vatersay would hold for her, but she did know she wanted to find out. Her fondest memory was a childhood trip to the Outer Hebrides, and if she stayed in the city she’d have to fend off offers of marriage from men intent on securing her late husband’s business for themselves. So she packed a case, and took herself, her modest fortune, and her particular set of skills to Vatersay. She wore black out of custom, but when asked about her late husband she would say only “he wasn’t the kind of man the world will miss.”

Natasha didn’t mind the whispers or the looks she’s get from her new neighbors. They would either warm to her or they wouldn’t. After all, she had everything she needed. A cottage to herself and a view of the sea, white sand beaches and crystal blue water so clear you could see straight to the bottom. She had books, the stars on a clear night, her fiddle to play, and good whiskey to drink. She had west facing windows for watching the sunsets. Sunset quickly became her favorite time of day. There hadn’t been colors like this in the city.

She was watching the sun melt into the ocean one day when she noticed a man walking along the beach. It was unusual for two reasons: one, her neighbors came by rarely and never unannounced, two, the man was stark naked. It was a surprise, to be sure, but not a wholly unwelcome one. She hadn’t seen that much of a man’s flesh since her passed and, what a sight this man was. Tall and muscular with broad shoulders. He looked to be fair haired, but it was difficult to tell in the fading light. Where in heaven and earth did you come from? She thought. She decided she should be neighborly and offer him a blanket. Walking the beach this close to nightfall without a stich of clothing, he must have been very cold and very lost. Or she hesitated very mad. She decided she could be both cautious and charitable and tucked a knife into her bodice and she retrieved her least favorite blanket.

By the time she opened the back door to call out to the man, he was gone. There was no sign he’d been there to begin with. Perhaps he hadn’t. Perhaps the handsome naked stranger had been only a trick of the light. The Widow resolved not to give it too much thought. Her waking mind obeyed her dutifully, her sleeping mind however…

Seven suns rose and set before she saw him again. In the flesh, anyway, she saw him every night in her dreams. She was sure a dream was all he’d ever been. The product of isolation and an overactive imagination. She was sitting on rock on the beach, playing her fiddle as the sun got low and the sky exploded into oranges, pinks, and purples when she felt the sudden sensation of being watched. She ceased the movement of her bow and took her eyes off the horizon. That’s when she heard it, a voice from a ways down the beach.

“No need to stop on my account, lass. I like hearing you play.” His voice was gentle, calm, and bright with mirth, like waters on a windless say. She couldn’t explain why, but she knew it was him before she turned her head. She hoped he’d be dressed this time. No such luck. She gently set her fiddle on the rock and pulled off her shawl which she balled up and threw at him.

He looked down at the fabric as if puzzled. “Go on then, cover your bits. And I’m not a lass.”

“If you say so.” He did as he was bid, draping the black cloth around his hips. Now that he was somewhat covered, she turned her entire body to face him. He was closer now and she could see that he was indeed fair haired with eyes so blue they looked like sea in miniature. He was strange, to be sure, but he didn’t seem mad.

“Where have you come from dressed in nothing at all?”

“Home.”

“Which is where?”

He gestured out toward the water. She wrinkled her brows, he must mean one of the neighboring islands, though we’re about as far west as you could go. He must mean north. Probably come down from Barra for a laugh. “and how exactly did you get here?”

“I swam.”

“That explains the nakedness then. You’re not cold? That water is near frigid on the warmest days.”

He chuckled, “I’m accustomed to it.”

“Well, I should get going before the light disappears completely.”

“Before you go, play me a tune. Please?”

“Alright then,” There were worse ways to spend a few minutes than playing a tune for a stranger, even if that stranger happened to be dressed in nothing but her shawl. It was nice to have a willing audience. It was nice, though she hated to admit it, to have the company. “What do you want to hear?”

He smiled as he gazed out over the water. “Do you have one that sounds like sunset?”

She didn’t say a word; she just began to play. First it was soft and sweet and barely audible. Then it grew bright and fast and joyful. Eventually it resolved into something deep and slow and almost melancholy. By the time she finished, dusk had settled on the island and The Widow could hardly see a path down from the rock she was perched upon.

“Lovely.” He mused. “I’m sorry to have kept you so late. Are you quite stuck?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m stuck, just a wee bit wary of climbing down one handed in the near dark.”

“I see well enough in the darkness. Let me help you.”

He came to the rock and offered her his hand. She gathered the fiddle and bow under one arm and took his hand with her other. “Is it clear enough for me to jump?”

“You’ll get your shoes wet, the tide is coming in, but the path is clear of rocks.”

So she jumped. She gasped slightly as her bare feet hit the cold water. She could see him smiling at the sound.

“Well, thanks for the assistance.”

He dropped her hand. “I’ll walk you to your door.”

She was hesitant to let the stranger know where she lived. She was, after all, a woman living alone and he was a man she hardly knew. But then again, in her old life she’d become quite skilled at spotting those who might do her harm. She’d had to in order to survive. This man, though, he didn’t give off any of the telltale signs. It was a risk, sure, but her life had always been full of risks. So she let the mostly naked stranger walk her to the back door of the cottage. Where he made a motion to remove the shawl.

“You can keep it.”

“I can’t take it back in the water with me.”

“You’re going to swim home in the dark?”

“I’m accustomed to it.”

Before she could open her mouth to protest he had put the shawl in her hands and set off in the direction from which he’d initially come. How strange he was. How strange she felt to wish he hadn’t gone.

[creaturebloom]

this is a 65 question ask meme and im the bitch that’s filling it all out at once to waste time

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? oh yeah definitely, but it’s usually the other way around where everyone else is real and i am not

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? idk like a 2.5 i guess

3. The person you would never want to meet? i mean. i don’t know ??? how can i know who i don’t want to meet until i have met them and decided they’re the worst

4. What is your favorite word? akimbo

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? i would WANT to be a weeping willow, but in all honesty i’d probably be a birch or some type of maple

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? i honestly cannot recall

7. What shirt are you wearing? a grey pajama shirt

8. What do you label yourself as? the skeleton god

9. Bright room or dark room? i mean if we’re talking the absolute brightest room vs the absolute darkest, i suppose i would pick brightest.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? for once i was actually asleep

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? god probably like 8 years old was good

12. Who told you they loved you last? my dad

13. Your worst enemy? it me

14. What is your current desktop picture? it’s a landscape in the style of like miyazaki movie backgrounds

15. Do you like someone? romantically ? no

16. The last song you listened to? poison vine - noah gundersen

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? just like physically destroy one person ???? idk man. like the consequences of this would probably be too far reaching for me to even fathom. do i get caught ?? does it spark paranoia worldwide ? a string of copy-cat murders ? could i live with myself knowing i killed a human being ?

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? nazis

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? idk like. the idea of a slave that has to do stuff for me for a day is kind of wild. if i can like, make a billionaire my slave and then force them to redistribute their wealth then i’d do that

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) my bones !! i can’t show them to you though, not yet

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? i guess the opposite of nonbinary is SUPER binary so i’d be like half man half woman and i’d look exactly like a halloween costume

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? no, all of my talents are pretty out in the open

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? one unique thing ??? i don’t think anyone really has unique fears. if you dig deep enough they all sort of boil down to the same few things in the end. i guess the most strange fear i have is that spiders will be in my slippers, and so i do not own or wear slippers.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. oh shit ok. idk all the ingredients but one time i ate a vegetarian bahn mi in chicago and it was like the most heavenly sandwich i’ve ever had. i want that again. endlessly.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? honestly at this very moment in time i would buy groceries, and also maybe a pad of watercolor paper

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? oof, leave immediately ??? that limits my choices bc i don’t have a passport. i guess i’d go to like. god idk oregon ? colorado ??? the pacific northwest somewhere.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? wait what am i supposed to figure out if i don’t drink booze ??? like if my plan was to sell it, i’d have to get a liquor license, and that’s a can of worms i don’t care to open. i think i would ask the angel if instead i can get a lifetime supply of, like, that good bahn mi sandwich i was talking about a few questions up.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? no nerds allowed

29. What is your favorite expletive? i’m pretty partial to fuck, but honesly yikes is what i say most often even though that’s not a swear word. petition to make yikes a swear word.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? hey so one time there was actually the threat of a fire in my house and despite all these questions no one does anything like that. i put on my shoes, grabbed my phone, sunglasses and water bottle because they were all immediately available as i was exiting the house. so as much as i’d love to grab my box of treasures and keepsakes, i absolutely would not and i know this about myself now.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? yikes. i can see the appeal of this for a lot of people, but for myself it’s just uhhh not feasible. i’d always wonder what i erased, and at some point i would uncover the truth. i wouldn’t like to live with that kind of mystery going on.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! oh thank god. i’m moving to a colder climate with universal healthcare.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? okay i would strike a deal here and let’s say i can bring back two pets instead of one person and in this case i would bring back rusty (family golden retriever), and also kohji (brother’s shepherd mix). i’d like to say i’d bring back my cat, but i have two cats now and i know my brother would really like his dog back.

34. What was your last dream about? i don’t really remember, tbh. i’ve been having a lot of weird dreams tho

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? yes i am a VERY good [something]

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yes ! it was terrifying and i’d never like to do it again thanks

37. Have you ever built a snowman? no, somehow this was never presented to me as an option any time i’ve been around snow

38. What is the color of your socks? buddy i’ve not worn socks in months. but also generally they are striped with various colors.

39. What type of music do you like? gay stuff

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunrises

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? chocolate

42. What football team do you support? oh i sure don’t

43. Do you have any scars? yes, many

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? considering that i am no longer in school, the answer is that i want to do whatever i feel like doing at any given moment

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i suppose i’d cure my mental illness (which i’m working on, so, this will happen)

46. Are you reliable? oh, no. no thanks. i absolutely am but i hate feeling obligated so i always choose to not put myself in situations where someone needs to rely on me for anything

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? i guess i’d ask if they’re happy

48. Do you hold grudges? i mean. i don’t forget things ........ but i am capable of forgiving people

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? nope ! i’ve seen movies, i know what horror that can cause

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? one time my sister and i were talking to our aunt, and we could not for the life of us figure out if she was trying to GIVE or SELL us some rabbit fur coats she had ......... it’s been over a decade and we still do not know which it was

51. Are you a good liar? yes

52. How long could you go without talking? several million years

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? sorry my hair is indestructible and because of the natural texture it looks great no matter what. i’m blessed and i know it.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? what kind of person doesn’t bake their own cake ????? rich people i guess

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? yes ! but not very well

56. What do you like on your toast? butter, and occasionally cinnamon sugar

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? some cool clouds

58. What would be you dream car? a honda prelude with the pop-up lights

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. i do sing in the shower sometimes, but not loudly

60. Do you believe in aliens? absolutely

61. Do you often read your horoscope? almost every day, but i do my full birth-chart horoscope so that it’s accurate, and not like horoscopes from the newspaper

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? n

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? i mean are they not the same thing. tell me a dinosaur and a dragon are not basically the same things.

64. What do you think about babies? yeah they’re alright. i never want to be in charge of one but i’m alright with them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. i guess the most interesting thing i can think to ask myself is which tarot decks i have, and i will tell you. i have the prisma visions tarot (which is amazing), and also the shadowscapes deck (beautiful!), and also a deck of runes that i made myself with a sharpie on a pack of pepsi branded playing cards

[cannedapricot]

Phantom Thief! Park Jihoon

This is legit the whole reason I’m starting this blog sovdbiosb. Inspired by Detective Conan, Saint Tail and the Cat’s Eye because they’re nostalgic asf and I love them. Also, Jihoon in a white suit would be a pleasant sight.

rightrightight ok

phantom thief! jihoon works with phantom thief! park woojin

they go by the name “PS”

which everyone thinks means something deep af

PS actually stands for “Pink Sausage”

but no one needs to know

everyone also thinks that it’s just one person

but in this au everyone’s clueless so please let it slide

what do they steal?

they steal hearts

lol jk

the two steal “priceless” paintings, sculptures and all sorts of art resulting in the town calling them art thieves

but the only art the duo steals are the ones that don’t belong where they are

they also drop not so subtle hints at the police about the illegal item

for example, there was this one time when an owner of a museum put up a painting of the famous “Cafe Terrace at Night” by Vincent van Gogh, claiming that it was the original

he wanted more publicity for the museum

surprise, surprise

it was a fake

the citizens were clueless lmao

so off went the pink sausages

the museum and the fake painting was the headline on next morning’s newspaper

how the two know of the frauds you ask?

associate! jisung runs a coffee shop down the block and overhears everything

you would think that the police would let them be because they’re doing the right thing, bUT NO

speaking of the police

you are the daughter of a famous detective who has solved many crimes

you’ve grown up seeing your dad work and reading detective novels

you were like, “i wanna be a detective lmao how hard can it be”

its hard

especially when you use your dad’s high position and become a junior detective of some sorts

and get assigned to the PS case

ok that’s fine but,

yOU’VE BEEN ASSIGNED TO THIS BLOODY CASE SINCE THIRD YEAR OF JUNIOR HIGH BUT YOUR ASS HAS BEEN CHASING AFTER THIS DUMB THIEF FOR THREE YEARS TO NO AVAIL

BUT THE WORDS “GIVE UP” DON’T EXIST IN YOUR DICTIONARY

“technically you could just let it slide and half ass your work,, i mean,,, they’re not stealing anything just for the sake of it-”

SLAMS DESK

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND JINYOUNG, STEALING IS STEALING AND THEY SHOULD FACE THE CONSEQUENCE FOR IT”

HUFFS AND WALKS AWAY

PS has been sending you calling cards on what, where and when they’ll be stealing something next

per your request of course

you kinda just screamed at one of the two one night while chasing them,

“heY, PS, YEAH YOU.”

HUFFS

“MAN, I’M NOT FIT ENOUGH STOP RUNN I N G”

“oK THAT’S IT IM STOPPING”

PS stopped to look at you in amusement

“I’M NOT LETTING YOU GO JUST BECAUSE IM NICE THOUGH,,,, NOT BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO DIE FROM SPRINTING” yeah, totally

“LOOK,,,, SINCE I’M SO NICE, CAN YOU AT LEAST NOTIFY ME WHEN YOU’RE GONNA STEAL SOMETHING NEXT??“

he left without answering you

you were dejected

but then a note came for you!!

yay!!!

not like it help a whole lot but,,,

back to the present,

so, you’re in your last year of high school

park jihoon and park woojin happen to go to the same school as you but you, for some reason, have never ran into either of them in your whole high school career

 you have but you’re oblivious af

 the two know you of course

they fucking notify you every fortnight about their heists how could they not know you

heck, everyone knows you

you’re that one detective who’s never solved a case

but because fate loves a good show, jihoon transfers to your chemistry class in the middle of year

you’re like

????

in the dab smack middle of the year??? what- how-

apparently, he somehow screwed up a experiment in physics and the teacher had enough lmao

wow what a great thief amirite

your class bursts into whispers as soon as he steps in the lab

you just,,,, sent an uninterested glace his way then buried your head in your arms and went back to sleep

 liSTEN,,,,, IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT THAT PS DECIDED TO WAIT UNTIL MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT TO SHOW UP

“ok guys, this is park jihoon, he’s a new addition to the class.”

“ohmygod he’s adorable”

“bless the heavens for some eye candy at last”

“look y/n it’s a cute dude why aren’t you reacting”

“fuck off, daehwi”

“alrighty jihoon you can sit next to bae jinyoung at the back over there. raise your hand jinyoung”

jihoon heads over to jinyoung and brushes past you on his way

you glance up as he does and you thought you saw him smirk? ?? ? ?

“how tired am i tf”

it’s not your imagination, jihoon recognizes you

“y/N I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU PAYED ATTENTION TO CLASS”

“MR KIM YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND,,,,,, I’M TIRED”

“I DON’T CARE????? DO YOU WANT TO PASS OR NOT”

AGGRESSIVELY HUFFS

after the class, jihoon rushes up to you and asks for your chemistry notes

“hi! y/n is it? could i borrow your notes?”

“?? you couldn’t borrow baejin’s?? why me?”

“uh,,,, i couldn’t read his handwriting,,,,, yeah! that’s why!!”

sounds fake but ok

you end up surrendering your chemistry notes to him

“thanks y/n!! you’re a life saver!!”

runs off like the cutie he is

daehwi slides up to you with jinyoung in tow while wiggling his eyebrows

“jinyoung has really neat handwriting if you ask me”

“yeah well, you’re practically in love with him so you think everything about him is neat”

“i- you’re not wrong”

jihoon returns your book to you the next lesson and everything goes as per usual for the next two weeks

until the next calling card arrives with a bang

literally

you opened your book, expecting nothing to happen

but a fucking balloon went off above you or something the moment you opened it

and the calling card falls down with colored confetti onto your head

“i’ll be taking the sculpture from Jung’s house tonight -PS”

BITCHWHATTHEFUCK

normally, calling cards would arrive without much,,, pow

like in the mailbox

all the students around you were shook

as were you

jihoon was just,,,,,, hiding his grin

daehwi and jinyoung walk into the class, takes one look at you and goes,

“what happened to you”

“it looks like a unicorn pooped on you”

“thanks”

jihoon’s new hobby unlocked!

teasing y/n!

so from then on out, all the calling cards would arrive with a huge noise

you hated the attention you were getting along with it

people actually thought you worked with PS!!

ok but jihoon would have the time of his life planning

“should i just write jeojang on the school notice board and the details underneath?”

“.... jihoon, your dumb aegyo has nothing to do with our heist”

“fine,,, i’ll bake y/n a cake instead”

woojin just sighs

jihoon has actually gotten quite close with you recently

daehwi and jinyoung readily accepted him and woojin in your little squad and you guys would frequent jisung’s cafe after school iaubfisbfvis thATS ACTUALLY SO CUTE IM CRYING

jihoon’s favorite pastime was still teasing you though

like

you did worse that jihoon on that chemistry quiz?

you’re never gonna hear the end of it

you fell face first into mud?

jihoon still has video he recorded to this day

the five of you were really close and y’all thought you knew everything about each other

hahaha

nope

you still had no idea that woojin and jihoon were PS

ffs y/n

the people you’re basically obsessed with are right in front of you

actually, jihoon’s just as obsessed with you tbh

daehwi, jinyoung and woojin has caught him staring at you on multiple occasions

“uH,,,, I WAS,,,, STARING AT THE WINDOW NEXT TO Y/N HAHAH YEAH”

he likes you

all the teasing basically lead to this

it’s not that jihoon hasn’t realized

he knows

but he ain’t about to admit that

a thief liking a detective??? psssh how absurd

but in jihoon’s eyes, all you ever cared about was PS

was he jealous of himself? yes

you,,, kinda,,, sorta felt things towards jihoon as well

but you ain’t about to admit that either

likE WHENEVER HE DID THAT STUPID JEOJANG THING YOU WOULD RUN AWAY AND NOBODY KNOWS WHETHER IT’S OUT OF CRINGE OR YOU’RE JUST MELTING

so you two just stay in a relationship full of teasing

the whole school lowkey thinks you’re together tho

one night, you were standing in front of another “priceless” art

courtesy of jihoon’s card earlier in the day

“i’ll be taking the min’s painting tonight hehe~~<3 -PS”

oh how the cards have changed over time

remember when i said that everyone thinks that PS is one person

well, everyone included you up til tonight

you were just strolling around the painting by yourself

the cops were situated around the building

complete with two standing in front of the door to the room with the painting

the plan was for you to stay in front of the painting all night and if PS came, you would tackle that bitch and call for backup

then PS actually came and all hell broke loose

the cops were running around trying to catch him, forgetting what the initial plan was

but for some dumb reason, they forgot to notify you

resulting in you having no idea what was happening outside the room lol

until finally, some cop remembered notified you via handheld radio

“whAT THE FUCK DANIEL YOU NOTIFY ME NOW???”

“LOOK IM SORRY,,,, BUT PS IS STILL RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE AND YOU NEED TO COME”

swearing under your breath, you decide to just sit and wait for PS to come into the room you were currently in

why run around if he was after the painting that you were right in front of

he’d have to come sooner or later

you then saw a shadow outside the window

white suite, white gloves and that familiar badge on his chest

no mistake, it had to be PS

and you rush to hide behind a corner

PS makes his way in and stands in front of the painting, seemingly admiring it

“it’s quite beautiful, such a shame that it was stolen”

iT WAS STOLEN????

THIS WAS THE NTH TIME YOU’VE GUARDED SOMETHING LIKE THIS

nonetheless, you act according to plan and lunge for him

but in a swift motion, he clutches the painting and avoids you

“whoops, watch your step” he says, chuckling

you let out a noise that resembled a growl at him and lunge yet again

but he was already out the door

you ran after him

picking up your handheld radio, you were about to call for backup when suddenly you meet with another person dressed in a white suit

but he didn’t have a painting in his hands

you stopped running, trying to figure out a sensible reason

the figure brushed past you and jumped out a window

then you receive exasperated message from cop! daniel stating that PS has gotten his hands on the painting and is now running away

not forgetting to question your whereabouts

you were now confused

you were 100% sure you saw PS run out with the painting

but then you ran into him without the painting the same time as daniel saw him with the painting

the thief got away that night but you called up your dad and told him that the painting was a fake

your dad whooshed over in record time

after doing his research your dad had found out that the painting had originally belonged to a woman in her 60s

the person you had met tonight before the case was a man in his 40s

your dad arrested him on the spot

you hardly slept that night

wondering about if PS was just one person, how could he be at two places in the same time

you concluded that PS was two people

spoiler, woojin was the distraction and jihoon was the person you saw take the painting

you tried to convince your coworkers the next day but they wouldn’t believe you

in fact, they had gotten more suspicious of you

you were the only person who wasn’t there during the chase

YOU WORK WITH A BUNCH OF IDIOTS

frustrated, you complained to jinyoung (who i forgot to mention, was a cop in training oops)

jinyoung believed you

he knew how hard you worked just to find out who this guy was

but he couldn’t do much to help

so he just comforted you

you were thankful for him (I’M SO SOFT IDBFUVIS)

with no one able to help you out, you decided to take matters inyour own hands

you were drained the next school day

jihoon felt bad for making you chase after him to no avail

so he did aegyo for you

it worked

sorta

woojin and jinyoung ended up dragging him out of class because of the second hand embarrassment though

daehwi just,,,,

cringed

really hard

you received another card three weeks later

“i’ll be after the “gem of the sea” necklace tonight. sorry for making you run all the time :c -PS”

???? is this thief apologizing???

anyways, this time, you were ready to find out who he was

it was a fool-proof plan

you see, you were familiar with this museum and knew it like the back of your hand

you were already starting to feel sad about ending the three year chase

that night, you were situated in front of the necklace

with a dozen cops because they didn’t trust you lmao

the necklace was a beautiful royal blue and you could understand why people loved it

it shone even in the moonlight

when the clock hit ten, all lights were cut off in the room and turned back on in a matter of seconds

but the necklace was gone in the mere seconds the light turned off

cops started to stream out the door of the display room, running everywhere trying to catch the thief

you were about to do the same

but daniel stopped you

“nuh uh kiddo, let me check your pockets first”

“ kang danIEL ARE YOU SUSPECTING THAT I TOOK IT?”

“yes”

so you were held back for a minute

you didn’t even give daniel time to apologize for suspecting you before you were out the door

cop! seongwoo announced that he saw PS in the left wing

but you head towards the right wing, knowing that there were two of them and the one seongwoo saw was likely a distraction

your suspicions were confirmed when you catch a glimpse of white

it was jihoon with the necklace

he was casually strolling towards the storage room where he would make his escape

jihoon had no idea you were after his ass

but as soon as he neared the window of the storage room, you appeared in the doorway

huffing because wow that was the quickest you had ever been

jihoon turned to you, the full moon shining through the full-length window behind him

it was a breathtaking sight

buT YOU COULDN’T SEE HIS FACE DAMMIT

“oh, it seems as though i’m cornered”

“yOU,,,,, DON’T PLAY WITH ME,,,, WHO ARE YOU”

“PS, obviously”

SCREAMS INTERNALLY

“NO SHIT”

he chuckled, pulling the necklace out of his pocket

“after this? it’s quite pretty isn’t it? almost as pretty as you are”

holy shit

is this thief

f l i r t i n g with you????

you blushed

but blamed it on the exercise lmao

“dON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT-”

“it’s a shame that i can’t just steal you away”

PARK JIHOON YOU SMOOTH FUCKER

HE SAYS THIS NOW AS PS BECAUSE HE HASN’T GOT THE GUTS TO SAY IT NORMALLY AS PARK JIHOON

but jihoon then notices that he’s taking way too long and woojin would beat his ass if he took longer

looking down, he finds a couple of cops below, waiting to see of anyone tries make an escape

jihoon sighs, opting to escape another way

aka jumping across trees until he reaches jisungs mini van lmao

so as you jump for nth time at time

he brushes past you whispering in that deep ass voice,

“i’ll save you in my heart instead”

leaving you shook af

“why did that remind me of that stupid jeojang thing jihoon does?”

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

you think you have a little crush on PS (with his low pitch voice lmao)

but your heart also goes crazy around park jihoon (and his high pitched voice obvfisbv)

you’re just like,

“fuck”

“do i really like two guys at once”

it’s one dude

but you didn’t need to know that

this was long and kinda crappy but here’s my first au!! sorry there wasn’t much jihoon here aaaa

please give me some feedback on how it was,,,, 2.7k words is a lo t, should i try make my next one shorter?

please ignore any mistakes haha,,,, i’m really tired and don’t wanna proof read fsovbuiqoebvo

thank you all for reading my shit though <3333

[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

⭐🥀TRIGGER WARNING!!

Introducing Last Night At 3AM. I Lost Control. Yet Another Breakdown, I Had about 30 breakdowns. No pity sympathy or attention. && NO I WAS NOT ON DRUGS! I'm over 1 year sober. Alvaro took over (one of my demons/alters) && Dancing Fire (another one) possessed me to the point I almost got a cop call. I don't wanna be a burden &: I wanna save fix care support be there for everyone and everything. I'm sick of being alive. But I can't do anything stupid cuz of me getting concerved to a state institution (which is way different than a mental hospital) cuz I've been in 215 mental hospitals & got diagnosed Critically/Clinically Insane plus over 10+ mental hospitals. All I have is my mom. The breakdowns the vivid flashbacks the mental illnesses getting 10x worse. No treatment will take me cuz I've been to all of them to many times. I can't process anything. My mind imprisons me. I dissociate 89 to 99% of the day. I've been thru every single sorts of treatments/medication I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018. I'm losing my mind. And everyday it's the same thing and people get tired of hearing it.I'm so done with dealing with this everyday. I don't need sympathy. I just don't know man. My mom&& lil brother doesn't want me home, I can't explain what's wrong or going on. I don't wanna be a burden. I'm sorry man. I wanted to self harm again but I didn't. Imagine all my mental illnesses multiplied by 10. Imagine EVERYDAY HAVING VIVID FLASHBACKS AND 22+ Mental Breakdowns a day. I.am sorry if I'm negative. I'm sorry. I just wanna save and fix the world. When people ask me "how are u" idk how much reply. I'm sick of my mind. I feel like darkness is controlling me. I pray A LOT. Alvaro literally possesses me and gets in my body. I have mostly every mental health diagnosis there is. And NO I'M NOT PROUD OF IT I'M NOT BRAGGING OR GLORIFYING It. I just wanna help everyone and everything. Along the my mental health, I have autism, narcolepsy anorexia Etc. My diagnosis list is so long and I don't wanna be known for that. I can't even leave my house. When ever I feel a lil bit better, here comes Alvaro. But again I don't wanna be a burden. It's my job to be there for everyone else NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I can't take this anymore. No pity sympathy or attention. I can't seek help cuz then they'll send me to a institution cuz I've been in to many mental hospitals. I'm doing the best I can. But I'm about to snap. I can't function. And I'm getting worse. I don't want attention I want to be OK. I've dealt with all this hell most of my life. It's hard to explain. On top of that. My physical state is getting worse. I'm finding more reasons to die than to live. I'm over 1 year sober. I'm a huge hypocrite when it comes out taking my own advice. I don't love myself. But i am over caring sensitive and I help obsessively. I repeat myself idk I'm just not OK. I'm losing contact with reality. I'm scared to keep going. But I got this.🥀⭐

🥀⭐Your Enough

Your Worth It.

Your Life Has Purpose

This To Shall Pass

Im here for all y'all in anyway I possibly can.

I'm sorry if I'm annoying. I'm sorry

Stay Strong && Keep Breathing ⭐🥀

🌙🌙🔥🔥🖤🖤🥀🥀HUGE TRIGGER WARNING🥀🥀🖤🖤🔥🔥🌙🌙

🥀🥀🔥🔥Hey my name is Izzy && I'm a recovering drug addict && alcoholic with over 1 year sober. This is the longest I've been sober being out of treatment. I've used mostly every drug there is. Being homeless 13 times. In 215 mental hospitals. In 3 foster homes (2 out of 3 were abusive) group homes, unlocked and locked treatment centers, rehabs shelters, crisis centers. Short and long term treatment centers. Which none will take me back cuz I've been there to many times. I've sold myself && got tortured abused raped drugged up for drugs and money to raise my unbio son, Anthony. I lost custody cuz of false accusations. I've had multiple near death experiences (some were suicide attempts && some were naturally done) my drug of choice was meth. I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018, over 10+ mental illnesses. Some were caused from a few bad trips on PCP that I never came back from. I was sleeping anywhere I could rest my head, I had to be alert at all times. Tbh I havent been to a meeting in awhile. My sponsor is like family to me. I'm redoing all my steps. I'm on step 2. I've lost a shit ton of people to drugs and I was literally getting cop calls everyday. Drugs messed with my life. And having this much clean time is amazing. Most of my life I've gotten abused raped, literally tortured and drugged up. Sold. Prostituted, almost killed. But no pity sympathy or attention pls. Any clean time is good time. And I'm proud of all of you in recovery drug addiction is a special kinda hell. Drugs become your priority and your best friend. I got tortured on the daily by people coming in one by one torturing me from orders from Kimberly (my ex fiance who hung herself in front of me) it was one by one. I got so caught on in drugs that it was the only way I knew. I used to numb the pain. I'm so blessed I found God again. Now I have 22+ mental breakdowns a day every day. I found out it had a lot to do with my drug use.🔥🔥🥀🥀

🥀🖤Thank you for breathing even when u wanted to die. Drugs kill you. There's nothing about it to be proud of its serious. You Matter Yo Important Yo A Someone Yo Enough Yo Worth It Yo Have A Purpose, Yo Have A Story, A Message, A Voice, A Reason, Yo A Warrior, A Soldier, A Survivor, A Fighter. You Are U && NoOne Can Be You, But YOU. Your Life Matters YOU MATTER, Yo Life Has Value &% I'm Glad Your Alive. Thank U For Being Alive. People say that I help everyone and everything obsessively && I don't stop. It's very true. This is a shout out to my unbio son that I raised as my own, Anthony Castillo-Martinez, I met him at one of the many abusive foster homes. Where it was owned illegally by Andrea/Angela && Jimmy Miller. We got tortured daily. They were not licensed foster parents. I met Lil Toni there and I escaped with him to meet up with Kimberly. We lived in a run down hotel in LA. I became homeless again. Toni got me through so much and even tho I can't find him (he's been gone for years) your my lil baby. I will always love u. U are my world and one day I hope to see u again. I hope you have a good home now. Going to school. Just doing well in general. And I'm sorry for you witnessing what Kimberly was doing to me. I love u babes with all my heart. 🖤🥀

🖤🔥🥀I failed Cedar House twice. This was a rehab in San Bernardino, California. I lied my way out. And I regret it. Funny thing is I already read the entire NA Basic Text && The AA Big Book. I have multiple sobriety apps on my phone and I have an app that that has NA && AA Speakers on it. I'm reading the How && Why and I'm so proud of myself && I couldn't have got this far without my sponsor, Jaclyn. She understands me better than any sponsor I've had in recovery. Here's a list of my mental disorders, some were caused Or made worse by drugs and alcohol🥀🔥🖤

🌙🔥🔥Schizo-Affective, Bipolar

ADHD, OLD, ODD,

PTSD, Insomnia

Depression, Anorexia

Anxiety, Autism

Borderline Personality Disorder

Severe Brain Damage

Attachment Disorder

Dissociative Identity Fund..

Multiple Personality Disorder

Narcolepsy, Critically/Clinically Insane🔥🔥🌙

🖤🥀Listen I don't need your pity, sympathy or attention these were all diagnosed by over 5 psychiatrists, and diagnosed "Insane" by over 10 doctors. DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE!!!! Anyways. I attempted suicide over 100 times. Self harmed in anyway possible. They say I'm the most high maintenance case in the system of California. And the next time I go to a mental hospital I'm getting sent to a state institution. I would do anything to get drugs. Jeremy && Izzie Baraz were my street partners. They both passed away. All I have left in blood family is my mom and brother. My mom. Says if I pick up drugs one more time I'm never aloud back in her house. My dad injected me with meth and heroin at age 9, he also tortured me daily. He passed away in 2011. I'm glad he's dead. But I take full responsibility for my drug and alcohol habits. And I hope I never go back. One Day At A Time.🥀🖤

🔥🥀This To Shall Pass, If Not Today There's Always Tomorrow

God, Grant Me The Serenity

To Accept The Things I Cannot Change

The Courage To Change The Things I Can. &&

The Wisdom To Know The Difference

Amen🥀🔥

🔥🔥Keep Coming Back It Works If You Work It🔥🔥

🔥🔥A Moment Of Silence, For The Addict Who Still

Suffers, In And Out Of These Rooms🔥🔥

🔥🔥Staying Clean, Im Never Going Back🔥🔥

🥀🖤I almost relapsed again on New Year's. I almost asked a stranger to buy me Vodka. But God told me to stop.

I'm Always Here 4 All Of You, No matter What.

I'd Do Anything To Keep Y'all Alive && Breathing. To Make U OK. to Save && Fix U && Take Your Pain Away. I Love Y'all. Keep Coming Back.🖤🥀

[jinyoungs-hipsdontlie]

171218.

- hey guys im on mobile now so i cant really put this under the cut. But i will do so later when i log on to the laptop. idk but i feel like i need to let this one out before i sleep. because it's really eating me up inside and i hope to feel better after this.

------------------------------

12 hours since i heard the news. So many emotions flooded through me within those hours.

The initial shock. Fingers going cold, heartbeat pounding. I remember going on tumblr and seeing all those posts about you filling my dash. The grammar before your name changed, 'is' became 'was' and before i realized, tears filled my eyes. Shock became heartbreak as i cried. I kept refreshing, trying to see if it was just a hoax.

But no.

You were really gone.

Then, numbness came. I didnt know what to feel. Or more like, i just couldnt. I couldnt even bring myself to press like on the memorial posts on my dash. It was just emotionless scrolling.

Then after seeing the confirmation post by SM, for a while, i felt acceptance. It hit me that ok, you chose the decision to end your suffering...in that way. Not the way i would like anyone to go, but since i respect you, i accept.

But now, when it's dark and lonely in the middle of the night. I find for my light, but it's missing. Where is it?

Oh wait, that's you. You're gone now. And heartbreak and sadness fills me again.

KIM JONGHYUN.

You were my first ever idol. Becoming a fan of SHINEE and most importantly a fan of you, is still one of my best decisions ever made.

You were talented in so many ways, composing and writing beautiful music which comforted us in our hardest times. Making us laugh and smile and cry happy tears with your adoration for your family, friends, members, fans and even poor ol' Roo.

Your hosting of Blue Night Radio Show for 2 years, filled with your insprirational quotes and advice. And then your recent Insta-live sessions on random topics a few months back. I was so happy hearing your voice and talking about things you enjoyed.

Everything was so precious to me. I still treasure eveything.

In August and November of this year, there came the opportunity to see you live on stage here in Singapore! You have no idea how happy i was! 8 years of supporting you from behind my laptop/smartphone screen and i could finally see you perform live infront of my eyes??? No hesitations on ticket sales no matter how expensive they were!

Those werent full on SHINEE concerts, only about 4 songs and also 4 members instead of five each time, but the happiness and joy i felt to just listen your voice live? An undescribable experience. I was beyond ecstatic, so blessed to have seen you and heard you in person. 170804 and 171124 will still be important dates in my heart.

And then i figured, since 2017 gave me the opportunity to see SHINEE live twice, will 2018 give me the chance to see you guys live in concert as OT5?

But sadly, today gave me an answer. I won't ever be able to see you or hear your voice in person again.

And that hurts.

So fucking bad.

To speak of the devastation i felt when i read that you took your own life is still very difficult for me. I'm still learning how to let go, it'll take time i guess.

But even still, I pray you're in a better place now. Where your hurt and suffering no longer exist.

You've been very open about your depression, your insomnia, your struggles and we shawols know, that you know how very much loved you are. And also how much you must have pondered before taking this decision.… it must have been so much harder on your end.

I'm sorry you had to go through so much.

Thank you for smiling through everything.

Thank you for giving me comfort with your beautiful music and voice.

Thank you for being an amazing person.

You've worked hard my dear. I'm very proud of you, not only for how much you've achieved, but for your strength to keep on smiling to us shawols.

Just like you prayed for us, I pray you're not hurting anymore. And that you'll watch and protect us all from above.

The earth has lost a beautiful soul today, but the heavens and the skies have gained their brightest angel and shining star.

And i hope you know, you'll always be my first love, my favourite and my best musician ever.

Rest In Peace, Kim Jonghyun.

-And to Onew, Key, Minho and Taemin, I pray for your health too and that you're able to rely and stay strong for each other in this difficult time. We all love you. SHINEE has been, are, and always will be FIVE. We won't let that go.

[klarkkent71]

Trilogy(Complete)

Trilogy-Friends, Partner, Breakup

Trilogy-Friend, Partners, Breakups

Throughout my works, I write and based poems off real-life situation and inspiration from other sources.  I sometimes have this ability where I feel I can tap into anyone situation and write about it.  I also love creating stories from scenarios that I have run in my head.  I have plenty of notebooks full of works and want to publish a few books.  The friend series were poems written before the relationship started.  I would take this girl out and crush hard but I always play it off like I was not feeling any specific type of way.  These poems come from the earlier half of time.  From taking this person out on her birthday for hibachi, to experiencing the first kiss, and the phase of just falling for someone.  The common theme for every poem is that I think readers could tap into my mind and see the motivation behind every piece

The Friend Series(Part 1)

Crushing

Your smile brightens days

Your eyes are just amazing

Your heart has beautiful ways

My desire to date you is just blazing

1st Kiss

Our eyes connected

We held hands

Our lips become one

I learned what a kiss from heaven felt like

Untitled

I yearn to want to have you close and dig into your mind

A friend of beauty for some reason it’s hard for me to just stay in line.

Every time we out for some reason I’m just getting lost in your eyes

You’re beautiful inside and out and that’s something I quickly realized

The first time we hung out I knew at some point I just couldn’t stay in the zone of friends

But I have to hold off on my true self because I want the happy feeling between us to never end

Career driven and ambition you have all the traits I adore

Hopefully, our future has a lot more in store

Why I like You PT1

Something about your smile that just drive me so wild

Its something about your pure heart that you have the innocence of a child

I can see myself on future dates with you hold hands

I know I say a lot but I can see myself being your man

I see us having a future even though tit’s not love yet

Your beauty is similar to that a million suns and a magnificent sunset

Cross The Line

I wish we werent friend that our lips can become one

I wish I can just open my mouth and share my true feelings

I feel stuck that I had crush this long and closure havent came

Its tough seeing so beautiful and knowing youll probably never have

Maybe years later once were completely apart this something we can laugh about.

Until then I’m in my own lane.

Part 2 covers the phase when things were official.  I would be triggered after various events and write for specific incidents. I would get lost in moments and memorize works in my head just so that I can go to the bathroom and type them.

Partners(Part 2)

Kunningham Part 1

You are my best friend and someone who stuck it out with me through thick and thin

When I failed and hung my head your motivation wouldn’t let my ambition end

You pray for me and cook for me and transcend my spirits to a level that sex can never reach

Though far from perfect your are everything that I need

From you I’m learning it is more within , please dont change

Kunningham Part 2

You walked in my life and showed me what love really mean

The fact I get to be your man everyday feeling like a dream

You pray for me and I wouldn’t trade anything we have for the world.

One day I picture us married with a boy and girl

It’s something about your eyes where I fall in them and get lost for the day

You’re religious and believe in God and for us, you pray

You’re also ambitious as hell and Im in love watching you chase all your dreams

I’m beyond blessed and lucky

Untitled

This feeling I have with you I pray always last

You’re in my arms and my entire universe feels complete

I’ve been damaged by love but could care less about the past

Your love is all I need and once have a cold blind heart I can now see.

If love was a physical being it’ll be you

There nothing in this world for you I wouldn’t do

With you, by my side, I feel like I’m living a perfect love scene

And the connection is beyond physical because our connection is as natural as it seems

I get butterflies in my chest when I think of us

I’m cherishing every moment we have

I never knew I can feel so much joy in my life.

Fireworks on  South beach

Nothing but fireworks when we come together

I’m asking myself can this life get any better

Life by the beaching and traveling to me was never part of the plan

I’m only a country boy who really only been to Afghanistan

Now my perspective on life has changed

And I have you to thank for such a positive thing

Breakfast on Ocean Drive which I really only seen on cable

I’m still in disbelief we saw Justin Bieber walk across the table

I still remember you just yelling out of joy when it happened.

We even went to KOD to see Soulja boy who had the club in action

The strip wouldn’t let us sleep because everyone did nothing but walk and play tunes

We was taking everything in and barely hanging in the room.

I still laugh from snorkeling and getting pictures in the water

I’m still in shock that I thought the boat was moving the whole time when we were anchored and I thought it was leaving us and going further

The 4th of July you took the best picture at the right angle of time.

Memories with you that I’ll always cherish for a lifetime.

Love(Haiku)

Love is beautiful

Love is what you make me feel

I really love you

Untitled(Haiku)

A heart once shattered

Now it learned to love again

Oh what a feeling

This Breakup Series covers all the time we were broken up from mid relationships to the final one.  I remember being ate up throughout the years and this covers various periods of time and events I kept within my notes

Breakup Series(Part 3)

Before the final Breakup

Untitled

No matter what I do I can never get this love thing right

Now I’m up alone crying myself to sleep at night

I know I suck at expressing myself but I never wanted you to quit

Now I’m just here alone feeling like shit

I feel my world was just shattered and burned.

I know heartbreak is constantly in rotation but I didn’t want it to be my turn.

Breakup(Haiku)

What did I do now

I can never get love right

Life somehow goes on

Final Breakups

The Call(Breakup)

I remember getting told that things are over

And I didn’t react because my heart was unattached

No tears or remorse I took it like a Soldier

The heart beats on with afeeling that’ll never be matched

Love Lost PT 1

I was young & dumb and messed up my gift from God

She saw me as truth and I turned out to be a fraud

Its truth in the statement of not cherishing something until its gone

Since you walked out my life I feel all alone

I lost sleep with thoughts of you on my mind

Hoping that you show up in my dream from time to time

I still reminisce on just beyone together and driving and holding hands

I was just stressed from time to time but was happy I was your man

Then October came and that’s when I got the call

It’s over

Untiltled

I’m in a new state, new fate, and my world was just broken and it’s off for good

I’m so numb to life that I can even comprehend what happened

I want to call and talk and my gut is telling me I should

I’m just gone drink all this pain away noting is everlasting even love

Email

My heart is pounding and it’s been two years since we spoke.

I don’t even know if you’ll reply, the past two October I had this feeling where my spirits were broke

I have to express my thoughts and get them out my mind

I know the saying goes that wounds heal over time

I’ve retyped and read this email over and over and have yet to hit send

At times I wish this was just a dream and the situation was just pretend

I’ve prayed for someone like you and messed up in my blessing

I was too caught up in my ways of pride and stressing

Why is saying I’m sorry so hard to do

Why is there feeling that exists where I’m not over you

Why my heart is pounding just to send an email

Why do I have my emotions just bottled into one shell

“Send”

Untitled

I’m trying to apologize to just make peace

I don’t want this feeling of your hating me

3 and half years later I just want to come face to face for closure

But the person I once had isn’t there anymore and I feel like things are hopeless and over

I write to express myself I just want to clear up lies

I was honest and told you that hurt you cause me to lose sleep and didn’t want to see you cry

Any seed of hope can’t grow in bad soil

Now I’m sticking to myself only because any attempt now just makes your blood boil

Bruno Mars has a song I play on repeat titled when I was your man

The first time I heard it we were broken up at the time while watching a movie in Alexandria titled Think Like a Man

In the hook, he spoke nothing but truths and one of the lines that make my heart was just thoughts of us being able to dance

I pray one day we can just sit and have closure and one final chance to just enjoy each other company and end it all with one final farewell dance

May 26

........Peaceful

[racealle]

Til We Meet Again

It was my special day... with my special someone... my friends and family are all here... smiling happilly for me...     I've been dreaming of this day... walking down the aisle...  a bouquet of flowers in my hand... looking at the man waitng for me in the altar...   He was my best friend... She was my best friend... He was my savior... She was my partner...   Its the song I made just from him... singing it right now feels surreal..   I asked her to sing... Hoping it to be the first but not the last.. -------- Time Check : 2:02pm My head perk up with the sound of the door opening hoping to see the person i was supposed to meet.  We were supposed to meet at 1:00pm, today is Saturday, its not even traffic... Where the hell is he?    *looks at the reader* Oh Hi! I was waiting for someone, which happens to be late AGAIN. *reader: ahem who are you??* Ooppss sorry I kinda forgot to introduce myself :) Hi! *waves* my name is Catherine, 23 years old. Occupation: freelance model, instrumentalist, singer, and teacher :) Yip! that's me :) No Boyfriend SInce Birth... I'm still young and... boys kinda makes my head hurts, like this one im waiting rignt now.. so in the relationship aspect.. i think im good. :) thanks but no thanks.  hmm but you know what, I've been inlove like seriously inlove.. its the same man from fifteen years ago... the same boy who became my savior.... "Kitty!" a man's voice can be heard in the entire cafe.  Oh man! how embarassing! It's him, the guy I am talking about. Meet Steven, my prankster of a friend, a lunatic but my most trusted friend. :)   It quite funny to remember how we met 15 years ago...   Flashback *15 years ago* I was in my 3rd grade in Elementary, I used to be a chubby little girl, the same reason why most of my classmates often picked me to be bullied. One day, I was happily muching on my big candy while walking down the streets to school. I heard someone calling my name.   "kitty kitty little kitty hahahaha!  I looked back and saw my bullies. Way to go aiming to have a very nice day.    "What do you want Mark? I asked them grumpily.  "Give us you food, you pig!" They shouted at me. "I dont want to, Its mine. Why don't you tell your parents to prepare something for you?" *Smirking* "You don't want too? Hold her guys, let's get her lunch box! "No! Please stop! I shouted back, but to  no avail, they're still trying to get my lunch then I started crying.  "STOP what you're doing! Mr. Officer arrest them! The kids ran as fast as they could while i was left crying on my own. I didn't notice the person standing in front of me. "Stop crying now, here take this its smaller than the one you had earlier but its delicious, its actually my favorite"   I looked up at the person speaking, there I saw a boy smiling while peeling of a candy.  He hand it over to me and said "Here try this, its really good." When he noticed me staring at the candy in my hand, he nudge me and said. "Eat up!"  "Thank you." I started tasting the candy he gave me. "Hmm.. its good indeed." I said to him.  "See?! I told you so.. my name is Steven, starting today, we're friends, okay?" Don't worry those kids wont bother you anymore, I will protect you, promise!  "Okay! We're friends! Thank you once again! Starting that day, I found myself a friend, my most precious friend. :)     Present Day That's how we started our friendship and until now, we're still together.  "Kitty!"  "Speaking of the devil, here comes the trouble maker." "Kitty Friend!" He shouted again. "Argh! Do you enjoy shouting my name that much? Now the entire cafe knows my name." I said playfully.  *dear readers, meet my friend and long time lovelife (he doesn't know thay btw) Steven Salazar.*  "I missed you Kitty my friend!" he said while hugging me tightly.  ("Damn this man, dont be like that man, I've been trying to hold myself back from kissing you moron!"  silently grumbling myself.) "kitty, do you have a fever, your face kind red. What happened, I can hear your heartbeat and its really fast."  ("Really damn this guy, does he want me dead? Arghh and you my dear heart, you want to come out of my chest? arghh!!! Calm down!") "I'm fine, Im just startled because of you, you moron! We've seen each other last week, You called me as if we haven't each other in ages. hahaha" (He finally broke the hug and went to sit in front of me. He's still smiling widely while doing that flower pose, he's cheeks becoming more evident, he's looking so cute. I think I falling too hard again. Dont be like that.) (I stopped myself from writing and carefully removed my eyeglasses *clears my throat*)  "What happened to you? You seemed so happy. Did you win in the lottery?" Yah! share with me your prize! You let me wait here for an hour, I deserve a share of your winning!" (As if he didn't heard me, he's still smiling like an idiot he is.) *hitting him at the back of his neck* "Uy! You look like a a creep! What's with you? Are you in heaven?" "Ouch! That hurts Cath! and Yes, I'm in heaven and I've seen an angel."  "Wow, you're crazy." I went back to what I am doing. "Catherine" (I was surprised when he called me by my full name, he rarely use my fullname unless he will tell me something important. I put aside my files and looked at him properly this time) "Why?"  "I want you to meet someone." "If its another guys you want to set me up with, No thanks. You know what will I say." I said while rolling my eyes at him. "Idiot!, When will you have a boyfriend then? Anyway, Its not a guy. Its an angel. My angel."  "Angel? Who..."  (I wasn't able to finish what I am about to say when i notice a woman approached our table) "My dear friend, Kitty Cat, meet my Lisa, my GIRLFRIEND. Lisa this is Catherine, my BEST FRIEND." ------------------------------- (I was left speechless... Girlfriend, he said GIRLFRIEND) *waves in front of my face* "Hey dude, are you alright?" "Oh, girlfriend? Wow you had a girlfriend? I didn't know and i thought we're bestfriends?" (I told him jokingly but damn my heart feels like it dying.) "Yes, buddy, we've been together for quite long already but we need to keep it a secret because of her family, but now we're telling everyone about us. and I want you to be the first one to know." He said while still smiling happily holding his girlfriend beside him." "It's nice to finally meet you Cath, Steven has been telling me a lot of stories about you." (I looked at the girl while smiling, I hope they wouldn't notice how I truly feel. You're strong Cath, You can do this" "Its nice to meet you, Lisa. You're really beautiful. What kind of stories does this idiot told you? Come and sit with us." (I smiled and reached her for a hug. She was really beautiful and kind, I'm glad my idiot of a friend found her. It's nice to see them smiling at eacch other lovingly, but why do i feel like this? Damn, my aches while looking at them. tsk I've been cursing in my head too many times today.) (I reminded myslef of my role in this situation. I am the guy's bestfriend. I need to be happy for them. Forget your pain. I am nothing but the GUY"S BESTFRIEND.) (The couple informed both of their families of their relationship, they we're really surprised :) some of Steven's family said that they thought the two of us would be together because we were always together since 3rd grade. They didn't know tho how i feel tho...) --------------------------------- A month had passed, I'm stil the guy's best friend. but unlike before, now we rarely get to meet often. Well in my defense, I've been really busy, an offer from a Fashion Company sent me a letter for the France fashion event. I was reluctant to accept the offer at first, but after sometime, i realized maybe God is giving me this blessing to help me as well to forget and move on. Its a 1 year contract, maybe by the time I came back I already have a boyfriend to introduce to my family. Just maybe. :) That's why I've been really busy too.  I purposely didn't inform my family and my friends, specially Steven about my plans. I flew to France without informing everybody.  ______________________________________ Welcome to France!!! When I landed I called my family of what happened to not worry them so much. They were very mad at first. But i explained to them my purpose and supported me. During the 1st month, Steven and I were constantly updating each other through chats. He even told me, "Why did you have to leave like that? I didn't even have the chance to say goodbye. You're cruel, you know that? When you get back i want to have my presents. got that Kitty?"  But then after sometime, we lost contact with each other, I've been busy maybe he is too. After our rehearsals, I always go straight to my laptop to see if he sent me a message but nothing. Instead of message, what i saw in my TL are photos of hin and Lisa, they look so happy. I didn't notice how my eyes are filled with tears, tears rolling down on my cheeks while looking at those beutiful photos of Lisa and Steven.  It continued for the rest of my stay in France. I just glad that we are busy with the Fashion Shows. When I got home, I continued torturing myself, browsing my TL then I saw this qoute. "I'd rather live the consequences of the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." It was like a wake up call for me. I'd rather suffer on my own than destroying my friends' relationship. I don't want to be selfish and beside they are happy. He is happy. I don't want himt o loose his happiness. That night, I cried myself to sleep, I didn't notice the creaking of my door. I felt a weight on my bed and someone hugging me. It was my friend Rose. I cried harder this time.  "Cath, its better to tell him, he might be with someone right now but atleast it will help to be free from what you are feeling. If you don't you might end up regretting not figthing for your love. We'll be in the Philippines by next week, grab the chance and confess your feelings to him. If he won't accept you so be it, atleast you let out what you truly feel." That night longer sobs and tears were my answer...  --------------------------------------------------------- Philippine Airport... *rings* "Mom, We just landed here in Ph, don't bother fethcing me anymore, Papa might be tired already, I just go home on my own. and its already late. Don't wait for me okay?" (When I arrived in front of our house, I stopped for a while and look at the surroundings, its still the same, my home.) I quitely opened the house, lol i still found the spare key under the rag, better tell Papa to hide it somewhere else.  "WELCOME HOME CATH!"  I was startled by their loud cheers, i thought everyone is asleep already. but here they are, my family, my friends and the most precious person in my live right now... STEVEN. I was enveloped in a tight hug by my family. Then someone took me in his arms and hugged my tightly.   "I missed you a lot, my best friend? how have you been?  (I allowed myself to melt in his hug, this will be the last time i promised to my self,) "I'm fine Steven, France has been good to me for the past year, I missed you too" I replied and hug him even tighter. "How is Lisa by the way?"  (There i saw the glint in his eyes again, the same time i heard my heart shuttering into million pieces once again. He smiled widely) "Let's meet tomorrow, same time, same place. I will tell you something important."  "Oh Sure, I need to tell you something too. See you tommorow then?" "Yes, my friend, you need to rest now. its a long flight. We'll see each other tommorrow okay?"  (He hugged me again my kissed my forehead." "Goodnight." (Yeah tommorrow, I'll tell you...  I LOVE YOU.)       ------------------------

[viralhottopics]

The 16 Most Beautifully Touching Love Letters From Famous Writers And Artists

1. Allen Ginsburg to poet Peter Orlovsky:

Dear Petey:

O Heart O Love everything is suddenly turned to gold! Dont be afraid dont worry the most astounding beautiful thing has happened here! I dont know where to begin but the most important. When Bill [ed: William S. Burroughs] came I, we, thought it was the same old Bill mad, but something had happened to Bill in the meantime since we last saw him…but last night finally Bill and I sat down facing each other across the kitchen table and looked eye to eye and talked, and I confessed all my doubt and misery and in front of my eyes he turned into an Angel!

What happened to him in Tangiers this last few months? It seems he stopped writing and sat on his bed all afternoons thinking and meditating alone & stopped drinking and finally dawned on his consciousness, slowly and repeatedly, every day, for several months awareness of a benevolent sentient (feeling) center to the whole Creation he had apparently, in his own way, what I have been so hung up in myself and you, a vision of big peaceful Lovebrain…

I woke up this morning with great bliss of freedom & joy in my heart, Bills saved, Im saved, youre saved, were all saved, everything has been all rapturous ever since I only feel sad that perhaps you left as worried when we waved goodby and kissed so awkwardly I wish I could have that over to say goodby to you happier & without the worries and doubts I had that dusty dusk when you left Bill is changed nature, I even feel much changed, great clouds rolled away, as I feel when you and I were in rapport, well, our rapport has remained in me, with me, rather than losing it, Im feeling to everyone, something of the same as between us.

2. Frida Kahlo to Diego Rivera:

Diego:

Truth is, so great, that I wouldnt like to speak, or sleep, or listen, or love. To feel myself trapped, with no fear of blood, outside time and magic, within your own fear, and your great anguish, and within the very beating of your heart. All this madness, if I asked it of you, I know, in your silence, there would be only confusion. I ask you for violence, in the nonsense, and you, you give me grace, your light and your warmth. Id like to paint you, but there are no colors, because there are so many, in my confusion, the tangible form of my great love.

F.

3. Oscar Wilde to Lord Alred Bosie Douglas (Wilde’s eventual muse):

My Own Boy,

Your sonnet is quite lovely, and it is a marvel that those red rose-leaf lips of yours should be made no less for the madness of music and song than for the madness of kissing. Your slim gilt soul walks between passion and poetry. I know Hyacinthus, whom Apollo loved so madly, was you in Greek days.

Why are you alone in London, and when do you go to Salisbury? Do go there to cool your hands in the grey twilight of Gothic things, and come here whenever you like. It is a lovely place and lacks only you; but go to Salisbury first.

Always, with undying love, yours, Oscar

4. Eleanor Roosevelt to Lorena Hickok (Eleanor’s long-speculated lover):

Hick, darling

Ah, how good it was to hear your voice. It was so inadequate to try and tell you what it meant. Funny was that I couldnt say je taime and je tadore as I longed to do, but always remember that I am saying it, that I go to sleep thinking of you.

5. Emma Darwin to Charles Darwin:

I cannot tell you the compassion I have felt for all your sufferings for these weeks past that you have had so many drawbacks. Nor the gratitude I have felt for the cheerful & affectionate looks you have given me when I know you have been miserably uncomfortable.

My heart has often been too full to speak or take any notice I am sure you know I love you well enough to believe that I mind your sufferings nearly as much as I should my own & I find the only relief to my own mind is to take it as from Gods hand, & to try to believe that all suffering & illness is meant to help us to exalt our minds & to look forward with hope to a future state. When I see your patience, deep compassion for others self command & above all gratitude for the smallest thing done to help you I cannot help longing that these precious feelings should be offered to Heaven for the sake of your daily happiness. But I find it difficult enough in my own case. I often think of the words Thou shalt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee. It is feeling & not reasoning that drives one to prayer. I feel presumptuous in writing thus to you.

I feel in my inmost heart your admirable qualities & feelings & all I would hope is that you might direct them upwards, as well as to one who values them above every thing in the world. I shall keep this by me till I feel cheerful & comfortable again about you but it has passed through my mind often lately so I thought I would write it partly to relieve my own mind.

6. English poet Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf:

…I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, with all your undumb letters, would never write so elementary a phrase as that; perhaps you wouldnt even feel it. And yet I believe youll be sensible of a little gap. But youd clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it should lose a little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is really just a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shant make you love me any more by giving myself away like this But oh my dear, I cant be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I dont love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defenses. And I dont really resent it.

7. E.B. White to his wife on the occasion of her pregnancy, “written” by their dog:

Dear Mrs. White:

I like having Josephine here in the morning, although I suppose I will get less actual thinking done as I used to do my thinking mornings in the bathroom. White has been stewing around for two days now, a little bit worried because he is not sure that he has made you realize how glad he is that there is to be what the column writer in the Mirror calls a blessed event. So I am taking this opportunity, Mrs. White, to help him out to the extent of writing you a brief note which I havent done in quite a long time but have been a little sick myself as you know. Well, the truth is White is beside himself and would have said more about it but is holding himself back, not wanting to appear ludicrous to a veteran mother. What he feels, he told me, is a strange queer tight little twitchy feeling around the inside of his throat whenever he thinks that something is happening which will require so much love and all on account of you being so wonderful. (I am not making myself clear I am afraid, but on the occasions when White has spoken privately with me about this he was in no condition to make himself clear either and I am just doing the best I can in my own way.) I know White so well that I always know what is the matter with him, and it always comes to the same thing he gets thinking that nothing that he writes or says ever quite expresses his feeling, and he worries about his inarticulateness just the same as he does about his bowels, except it is worse, and it makes him either mad, or sick, or with a prickly sensation in the head. But my, my, my, last Sunday he was so full of this matter which he couldnt talk about, and he was what Josephine in her simple way would call hoppy, and particularly so because it seemed so good that everything was starting at once I mean those things, whatever they are, that are making such a noise over in the pond by Palmer Lewiss house, and the song sparrow that even I could hear from my confinement in the house, and those little seeds that you were sprinkling up where the cut glass and bones used to be all starting at the same time as the baby, which he seems to think exists already by the way he stands around staring at you and muttering little prayers. Of course he is also very worried for fear you will get the idea that he is regarding you merely as a future mother and not as a present person, or that he wants a child merely as a vindication of his vanity. I doubt if those things are true; White enjoys animal husbandry of all kinds including his own; and as for his regard for you, he has told me that, quite apart from this fertility, he admires you in all kinds of situations or dilemmas, some of which he says have been quite dirty.

Well, Mrs. White, I expect I am tiring you with this long letter, but as you often say yourself, a husband and wife should tell each other about the things that are on their mind, otherwise you get nowhere, and White didnt seem to be able to tell you about his happiness, so thought I would attempt to put in a word.

White is getting me a new blanket, as the cushion in the bathroom is soiled.

Lovingly, Daisy

8. Charles Eames’ marriage proposal to Ray Eames:

Dear Miss Kaiser,

I am 34 (almost) years old, singel (again) and broke. I love you very much and would like to marry you very very soon.* I cannot promise to support us very well. but if given the chance I will shure in hell try

*soon means very soon.

What is the size of this finger??

as soon as I get to that hospital I will write reams well little ones.

love xxxxxxxxxx

Charlie

9. Jean-Paul Sartre to Simone de Beauvoir:

My dear little girl

For a long time Ive been wanting to write to you in the evening after one of those outings with friends that I will soon be describing in A Defeat, the kind when the world is ours. I wanted to bring you my conquerors joy and lay it at your feet, as they did in the Age of the Sun King. And then, tired out by all the shouting, I always simply went to bed. Today Im doing it to feel the pleasure you dont yet know, of turning abruptly from friendship to love, from strength to tenderness. Tonight I love you in a way that you have not known in me: I am neither worn down by travels nor wrapped up in the desire for your presence. I am mastering my love for you and turning it inwards as a constituent element of myself. This happens much more often than I admit to you, but seldom when Im writing to you. Try to understand me: I love you while paying attention to external things. At Toulouse I simply loved you. Tonight I love you on a spring evening. I love you with the window open. You are mine, and things are mine, and my love alters the things around me and the things around me alter my love.

My dear little girl, as Ive told you, what youre lacking is friendship. But now is the time for more practical advice. Couldnt you find a woman friend? How can Toulouse fail to contain one intelligent young woman worthy of you*? But you wouldnt have to love her. Alas, youre always ready to give your love, its the easiest thing to get from you. Im not talking about your love for me, which is well beyond that, but you are lavish with little secondary loves, like that night in Thiviers when you loved that peasant walking downhill in the dark, whistling away, who turned out to be me. Get to know the feeling, free of tenderness, that comes from being two. Its hard, because all friendship, even between two red-blooded men, has its moments of love. I have only to console my grieving friend to love him; its a feeling easily weakened and distorted. But youre capable of it, and you must experience it. And so, despite your fleeting misanthropy, have you imagined what a lovely adventure it would be to search Toulouse for a woman who would be worthy of you and whom you wouldnt be in love with? Dont bother with the physical side or the social situation. And search honestly. And if you find nothing, turn Henri Pons, whom you scarcely love anymore, into a friend.

[]

I love you with all my heart and soul.

10. Honor de Balzac to Countess Ewelina Haska (June, 1835):

MY BELOVED ANGEL,

I am nearly mad about you, as much as one can be mad: I cannot bring together two ideas that you do not interpose yourself between them. I can no longer think of nothing but you. In spite of myself, my imagination carries me to you. I grasp you, I kiss you, I caress you, a thousand of the most amorous caresses take possession of me. As for my heart, there you will always be very much so. I have a delicious sense of you there. But my God, what is to become of me, if you have deprived me of my reason? This is a monomania which, this morning, terrifies me. I rise up every moment say to myself, Come, I am going there! Then I sit down again, moved by the sense of my obligations. There is a frightful conflict. This is not a life. I have never before been like that. You have devoured everything. I feel foolish and happy as soon as I let myself think of you. I whirl round in a delicious dream in which in one instant I live a thousand years. What a horrible situation! Overcome with love, feeling love in every pore, living only for love, and seeing oneself consumed by griefs, and caught in a thousand spiders threads. O, my darling Eva, you did not know it. I picked up your card. It is there before me, and I talked to you as if you were here. I see you, as I did yesterday, beautiful, astonishingly beautiful. Yesterday, during the whole evening, I said to myself She is mine! Ah! The angels are not as happy in Paradise as I was yesterday!

11. Napoleon Bonaparte to Josphine de Beauharnais:

I am going to bed with my heart full of your adorable image I cannot wait to give you proofs of my ardent love How happy I would be if I could assist you at your undressing, the little firm white breast, the adorable face, the hair tied up in a scarf a la creole. You know that I will never forget the little visits, you know, the little black forest I kiss it a thousand times and wait impatiently for the moment I will be in it. To live within Josephine is to live in the Elysian fields. Kisses on your mouth, your eyes, your breast, everywhere, everywhere.

12. John Keats to Fanny Brawne:

My sweet love, I shall wait patiently till tomorrow before I see you, and in the mean time, if there is any need of such a thing, assure you by your Beauty, that whenever I have at any time written on a certain unpleasant subject, it has been with your welfare impressd upon my mind. How hurt I should have been had you ever acceded to what is, notwithstanding, very reasonable! How much the more do I love you from the general result! In my present state of Health I feel too much separated from you and could almost speak to you in the words of Lorenzos Ghost to Isabella

Your Beauty grows upon me and I feel A greater love through all my essence steal.

My greatest torment since I have known you has been the fear of you being a little inclined to the Cressid; but that suspicion I dismiss utterly and remain happy in the surety of your Love, which I assure you is as much a wonder to me as a delight. Send me the words Good night to put under my pillow.

Dearest Fanny, Your affectionate J.K.

13. Lord Byron to Teresa Guiccioli (August, 1819):

My dearest Teresa,

I have read this book in your garden;–my love, you were absent, or else I could not have read it. It is a favourite book of yours, and the writer was a friend of mine. You will not understand these English words, and others will not understand them,–which is the reason I have not scrawled them in Italian. But you will recognize the handwriting of him who passionately loved you, and you will divine that, over a book which was yours, he could only think of love.

In that word, beautiful in all languages, but most so in yours–Amor mio–is comprised my existence here and hereafter. I feel I exist here, and I feel I shall exist hereafter,–to what purpose you will decide; my destiny rests with you, and you are a woman, eighteen years of age, and two out of a convent. I love you, and you love me,–at least, you say so, and act as if you did so, which last is a great consolation in all events.

But I more than love you, and cannot cease to love you. Think of me, sometimes, when the Alps and ocean divide us, –but they never will, unless you wish it.

14. Voltaire to Olympe Dunover, written while in prison for their affair:

I am a prisoner here in the name of the King; they can take my life, but not the love that I feel for you. Yes, my adorable mistress, to-night I shall see you, and if I had to put my head on the block to do it.

For heaven’s sake, do not speak to me in such disastrous terms as you write; you must live and be cautious; beware of madame your mother as of your worst enemy. What do I say? Beware of everybody; trust no one; keep yourself in readiness, as soon as the moon is visible; I shall leave the hotel incognito, take a carriage or a chaise, we shall drive like the wind to Sheveningen; I shall take paper and ink with me; we shall write our letters.

If you love me, reassure yourself; and call all your strength and presence of mind to your aid; do not let your mother notice anything, try to have your pictures, and be assured that the menace of the greatest tortures will not prevent me to serve you. No, nothing has the power to part me from you; our love is based upon virtue, and will last as long as our lives. Adieu, there is nothing that I will not brave for your sake; you deserve much more than that. Adieu, my dear heart!

Arout (Voltaire)

15. Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn:

TO MY MISTRESS. Because the time seems very long since I heard concerning your health and you, the great affection I have for you has induced me to send you this bearer, to be better informed of your health and pleasure, and because, since my parting from you, I have been told that the opinion in which I left you is totally changed, and that you would not come to court either with your mother, if you could, or in any other manner; which report, if true, I cannot sufficiently marvel at, because I am sure that I have since never done any thing to offend you, and it seems a very poor return for the great love which I bear you to keep me at a distance both from the speech and the person of the woman that I esteem most in the world: and if you love me with as much affection as I hope you do, I am sure that the distance of our two persons would be a little irksome to you, though this does not belong so much to the mistress as to the servant.

Consider well, my mistress, that absence from you grieves me sorely, hoping that it is not your will that it should be so; but if I knew for certain that you voluntarily desired it, I could do no other than mourn my ill-fortune, and by degrees abate my great folly. And so, for lack of time, I make an end of this rude letter, beseeching you to give credence to this bearer in all that he will tell you from me.

Written by the hand of your entire Servant, H.R.

16. Leo Tolstoy to Valeria Arsenev (November, 1856):

I already love in you your beauty, but I am only beginning to love in you that which is eternal and ever previous your heat, your soul. Beauty one could get to know and fall in love with in one hour and cease to love it as speedily; but the soul one must learn to know. Believe me, nothing on earth is given without labour, even love, the most beautiful and natural of feelings.

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from The 16 Most Beautifully Touching Love Letters From Famous Writers And Artists

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AROUND 365



This is the “shameless”  me heading home,in a matatu booming loud crunk and some silly Fetty Wap crysongs( yeaaaah bae…),from a place that took me dosens of courage bundles and self discipline to atleast gather guts to leave ; of course there’s always a bunch of sinners trying to drive your faith into badlands where there are no parents you have to report to, in full detail, as to why you are having bad dreams about coming home late, since God is gracing them with a whole pack of awesomeness, so somehow you get home eleven deep night and your old man goes like “do you want us to lie outside watching the stars, reciting poetry into the thin air?” Ring! Ring! Wake up! Run away from them as first as you can’t since all you do is drink senator cage in a local bar so you got a belly looking like you Swallowed a giant drumstick without chewing but all is good though, Ladies still f-audio censor,  tiiiiiingg!- with you. 

Text Reference  ( Punctuality  - never mistake its power in your peace at home especially when lecturers are on strike and home is one place people  will have to bear with your loud disturbing singing of a weird genre of music for a very long time, like long!) 

Okay. I was about to narrate stories from where I’m from. A friend’s place, as always. Been there for some couple of days if you are using the high timeline (sometimes you wish you could wake up and spend a day just human, your lungs full of fresh air and the liver on vacation in Ibiza but there’s always that call from one your so called ninjas - “i swear this sh*t is lit, last night i was smoked and felt so astronaut."  Then they sum the deal with that notoriously famous phrase "there also a few girls too”. God forbid the things that construction of grammar does to our brains,  all the way to a lame excuse like "my friend’s cousin passed away, im going to console with them tonight". Remember to ask how many times that good friend has  had to kill you to show up at your ‘predicted-to-be-lit’  party with no girl or a bottle of cheap whisky, in contrary with demands and instructions highlighted in the invitation on WhatsApp.A very serious violation of the turn up ratio principles and high accords.  

Now, Now,Now. It was a good night from where i come from, I mean it was considerable damage to the body having spent the whole week sleeping, eating, doing nothing! That "Jack with no play is a dull boy"  philosophy is something i hold so dear to my heart people. So some green leaf combustion to release healthy carbon killing  cancer cells, initiating  some brain rebooting and application updates was going on after a day full of similar  happenings in a location from which i telepoted to this place where i leave fellow sinners going on with the quests for higher clouds. One thing is we didn’t know how we found ourselves here but damn! We’re a bunch of lost warthogs, we don’t remember sh*t and that, is one reason we’re so happy  ( Lord help them see their lives) 

As the routine prescribes it to be, i mean some random confessions about how elevated one feels ; in the skies flying with stokes, delivering babies to fellow men who apparently… ( ladies and gentlemen, the next statement has been written out of utmost respect for all men and if not, my apologies)… Shoot blanks!  Then you feel so amazing and amidst all these good things are stupid moments like "this stash is fine bruh, whom did you buy it from? Especially when you were the same single person in that clique that knows all the sellers in your area and individually went to purchase the magic wands, YOURSELF!   If you were in a serious session then you don’t miss an Einstein moment during which numerous brainstorms are battering your skull, exploding with billions of ideas about the cosmos and the relationship between FIFA 17 and Heaven (sometimes you might fail to grip the difference but brethren! Brethren! ) . Of course it doesn’t go without mentioning the various “facts”  and concrete reasons as to why your extremely silly arguments came to existence, deserving a chunk of minutes set aside for their discussion and clarification. The beat of that EDM track is overwhelming your emotions and you hate your life. Why do you stay in such a cursed continent with black people and elephants which attract more love than the people themselves? You want to live in America, go to some dope college in Dallas, get paid a few dollars per hour( you’re a humble child from Africa,  with an ashy face since most of the vaseline is spent on other vital body checks and balances,  so “a few” will be okay), eat some McDonald’s burgers or Subway cookies  and mess with white boujee babes. This is one of those moments you wonder what your great grandfathers were doing when others were taken up for slavery now their generations living lavish in Beverly Hills. They must have been some lazy bunch i swear. Right now you could be some youth in Atlanta looking like a vintage ghost of Shakes Makena in the super strikers classics, with some gold tooth and a zombie rap style earning a thousand bucks with a name like "Kodak Black" ( may the gods have mercy) . Out of nowhere!  Upto where we are now you can sense the humour in your Hollywood aspirations so you laugh out loud, seconds before your mates join in, till that final time a rush of wisdom strikes one of you and asks what y'all laughing about, then you realize  there was actually no joke but then again, who cares?  The cycle continues.

This is what I’m thinking at that moment, my Einstein moment! What if our world was a just a setting of a game section played by a people of an elite dimension, the real world now. Let’s say like GTA stuff. So each one of us is a Trevor of some sought, your gamer is bad at racing, shooting and even finding locations because unfortunately he got no clue of the map and its purpose. Basically, his “gaming”  skills are on the garbage side of mediocre, lets say it’s a dumb ass potential school dropout trying to spend time away so evening can come and sleep, moral lesson - you’re a game over or busted(dead!) . In short, this type of game is that which was played 10 years ago by the urban kids with PS(long before the numbers) now they took all their old  junk to the countryside so relatives are trying to chase the trend. That’s how bad these imaginations are. I’m proud of myself, honestly. Of all these red-eyed fallen humans staring at me sharing this fiction, anticipating the next part of this  plot like the release of the next shooter episode in those pirate sites, over buffering connection,i think i have the best story! 

Come on now, you and i know that one guy that got  to tell false stories about his uncle and the many ladies who certainly find him a supermodel and can’t resist proclaiming their love all over social media. He’s always recording chest bare videos for his 316 Instagram followers or “with the boys”  captioned pictures, with the many Picsart filters, to his Facebook .Sometimes you’re there in your zone thinking why you tolerate such characters in your outcast living till it hits you that you were not blessed with the sweet slippery tongue to lure in all the pretty girls to your parties that he professionally possesses. He’s always there to save your thirst,as long as he doesn’t pay for any other activity. ( sniper tings, put some hashtags on that). 

Drifting down this plot, this is the best deal of this turnt up business! The ladies. The sweet ladies that accepted to be part of a life saving campaign as far as your boring day is concerned , God bless their tolerance, even I wouldn’t dare to give my number to myself, let alone answering to a "Form call". You can’t believe what we tell you the next day but that part about you pulling some Grrrrrh ! Grrrrh!  to a “rrrrraah”,   lecturing a dab session for the song "panda"  to a girl smiling sheepishly, balancing on wobbly worn out feet asking silly sad questions at the corner is a true story. One in which your vampire qualities are activated so you are frequently seen in dark corners and poorly lit corridors serving as blindspots for the prosperity of your uncouth behaviours inspired by a great deal of moral decay.You somehow want to walk to that girl sitting on the couch and whisper “that’s some fine piece of beef you carry  back there”  but then you realise she’s still on the other side of town and the joke may not have a required reciprocate , enough slaps today, more drugs for her. Now you’ve changed your mind about her, “noo, she’s too rachet bruh, too rachet! Don’t play yourself! ” ( the boys up there are in serious analysis and checks - you can even establish family backgrounds of all your friends by sight alone. Of course these are the same boys that  save the day from the rant of your father) Before processing the next thought, the stomach is up. Dear Munchies, even the ice cubes seem edible : bottomline, this hunger is pure evil with lots of malice! Hunger games catching fire! The moment you come out of the house, dusk has come, an end of a new day, the same day you had promised to show up at home before noon. Change of course now. A few  minutes later, you’re in this mat’ writing this silly story that probably no one  will like even after laughing to it because you are not any lady posting a "#lipgame"  pic with an inspirational quote like, "throw me to the wolves and I’ll come back leading the pack" (why is social media so heartless? It’s like, liking your fellow ninja’s post is gay!) . It’s still the same you caring not to make any close eye contact with other passengers at this point because unfortunately, your eyes can tell it all. You know there are thousands of grammatical mistakes all over this composition but what are edits for? Furthermore this is a good piece, fruits of "the stash" and next time you’re called up yonder, you won’t hesitate. See your life!