#im honestly probably overthinking this

[il-eux]

[JULY 13, 2022]

the og looked fine but kinda flat so i thought id try to fix it up with a bit of quick lighting and BAM HAHA kinda fancy now wowow~

also the lack of eye shine (top right) really does change the vibe LOLOL

[sonicunleash]

Okay I kinda wanna do a pride url this year but i need some opinions

[capyclub]

alright good fuckin yard

[choco-bloop]

// Spoiler for Kingohger ep 24 Preview Sypnopsis //

It says "what is the surprising truth that Jeramie discovers?" which brings about two/three-ish ideas I have for what this could be.

1 ) Racules' ACTUAL body / whatever they've done to it I'd guess

Since we never actually saw what was in Racules' coffin in the previous episode, and that Masato Yano hasn't gotten his flowers yet, there's a good chance he's out there still alive. And there's an even bigger chances the Bugnarok were the ones to find his body (and probably gave Shugoddam a decoy one to cement his death). This would be interesting as it parallels Gira from episode 9-17. And maybe, we'll see ZERO return too (since we don't know what happened to it) and possible have Racules control the castle mech (and maybe God Kingohger Zero???) since I think somewhere it was stated that both brothers can control the castle.

2 ) There's another bugnarok spy

I mean, if Kamejim as Boshimar was able to trick all the characters, then who knows how many other people out there could possibly be bugnarok in disguise. Possibly would lead to tension btw Jeremie and the Kings cuz then he'd be like "what if I'm giving Bugnarok crucial info?"

2a) Good bugnarok

Then again, there's always bugnarok like Gerojim so instead he finds proof that there's a group of bugnarok (possibly including hybrids) that also want peace between them and Humans and do not side by Deznarok's plans. This would give Jeremie a little kingdom to rule over and add more to his side of the conflict. Or maybe its a clan that was previously thought to have been destroyed by Daigorg actually having surviving members and also are against desnarok because he killed their family / members.

3) It all a lead up to the highly likely kyoryuger cameo.

Cuz I think according to leaks it's supposed to be Sept for the toy release so there's a chance there is a build up towards that crossover instead. So possible like the new Gabutyra ? who knows

[bar-les-coucougnes]

you can really see a character's true nature shine when theyre under pressure

cant wait to hate krauss and rudolf's guts by the end of ep3

[kuiinncedes]

:P

[vacantgodling]

!!

have an oc from a wip that i feel underqualified to work on :) BUT one that's kind of up your alley so idk maybe i'll keep staring at your wips and i'll have a breakthrough one day eofdsjkcn anyway tho-

noh bell wakes up adrift in the middle of an asteroid cluster; no memory of himself beyond his name. no idea how he got there, no clue what happened either. he's found and taken in by a motley crew of sorts (no idea what their role is or what they're doing but thats cool) and on a news broadcast across the galaxy, the government has been searching for him specifically as a "highly dangerous escaped criminal"

he has no idea what he's done or why he's wanted, but the people who pick him up turn on him quick. why he's able to fight them off with relative ease, also a mystery. but, he'll have to find out and find out fast! the bounty on him is enormous and he wants to know if whatever he did to become a criminal was really worth the status :DD

cryptic writing aside, noh bell is a former government enforcer apart of the JACK & JILL program; a program of enhanced super soldiers who work in duo units to patrol the galaxy and "keep the peace" by adhering to their specific roles. JACKs are the brains of the operation; usually the "head" of the unit. they're assigned with peace keeping, deescalation, giving out tickets, hacking, etc etc. JILLs are the brawn of the unit and its pretty self explanatory. noh was a JILL and was essentially stolen from his family and trained from birth to become apart of said program (which is very common actually). why he's wanted is still a bit of a mystery to me, but i do know it's kinda related to him finding out some sort of government bullshit and being fucked over before he could be a whistleblower on the situation. he was captured and locked up, but managed to escape, however the resulting situation/fight left him with amnesia so he's kinda trying to figure out who he is + stay alive + reconnect with old friends (and old enemies) to remember himself and to then eventually get back to what he was doing which is. blowing the lid off this corrupt joint.

[alienrascal]

In a state wondering if I should change my handle again because maybe it sounds too weird but also its my title across all accounts :(

[oars]

if i cant write a single short essay on why i want to apply to this school i dont think im cut out for school in general and i also want to give up very easily over little things that too

[floradanika25]

Soooo i was talking with one of my friends and we came onto how many people from our old class follows me on instagram.

I said quite a lot of them but as i went to check, it was significantly less than i remembered .

Turned out they have basically all apparently unfollowed me.

They still follow each other.

[thefirstlie]

oh i think i just got vagueposted about im going to kill myself

[krenia]

June is an awful month for me this year I forgot how impatient I am now that I'm waiting for Sludge Life 2, steam summer sale and Art Fight all at the same time this is going to make me combust

[mrfoox]

Uh. Gonna be honest. Idk how tf no one thought I could have dyslexia growing up. The older I get the more I wonder if I do...

[spongeyspot]

Toxic Traits/Red Flags HC

Characters: Arthur, Javier, John, Lenny, Dutch, Micah, Charles, Sean, Hosea, Mary Beth, Abigail, Tilly, Karen, Sadie, Molly

(A/N): WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS DAWG. I LOVED @cowboyfromh3ll 's take on that shit sm and these hcs have literally been swimming in my head for weeeeeeeeks bro

Edit: some of these were kinda hard because there's not a lot of bad in the characters themselves... I had trouble with specifically Charles, Lenny, Mary Beth, and Tilly. Sorry if they may be OOC. IM EVEN DOING THE GIRLS BECAUSE IM IN A SILLY GOOFY MOOD

Content Warning: female reader, jealousy, self hate, narcissism, gaslighting, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, mentions of murder and violence, mentions of infidelity, mentions of sex (Sean, Micah, Sadie kind of) (MINORS DNI)

Not edited btw

The boys

Arthur Morgan

- Honestly, I feel like Arthur would have this insane, crippling fear of rejection, especially when it comes to dating. - His self hate/deprecation plays a huge part in this, and quite honestly, him and Mary not working out probably also probably contributed to it. - Very emotionally distant. Has a hard time expressing his feelings openly due to that same fear of rejection.🚩 - Bottles shit up until he feels like he's gonna explode 🚩 - His impulse control is almost nonexistent 🚩 - Will resort to saying things that he doesn't even mean. He just says things when he's angry🚩 - Will hate himself even more if he makes you cry - Won't hesitate to run away from camp for a while to cool off. This isn't necessarily a bad thing per se, but he usually takes his time away to overthink the fuck out of everything - Prone to acting violent. (not to someone he cared about, but to other people, absolutely)Also due to his poor impulse control. 🚩

Javier Escuella

- Has a flirty personality, but around women, it just seems to get worse. 🚩 - Tells you you're overreacting if you tell him it bothers you🚩 - Overprotective of you. Always has his eyes on you, and practically orders you to stay in camp where it's safe. - As if you step one foot outside the camp without him, you'll spontaneously drop dead - Jealous asf. Are you laughing at what Bill just said? It wasn't even that funny. Why are you standing so close to him? You should be at least 6 feet away from him, not 5 and a half. 🚩 - Also has a problem with how you dress sometimes. God forbid your shirt is ever low cut. He'd probably ask you to change. 🚩 - And if you get offended or upset, he'll lie and tell you it's because he can't stop staring at your chest, and he'd like to focus of whatever it was he was doing.🚩

John Marston

- Stubborn as all hell. Doesn't listen to anybody for anything.🚩 - Commitment issues up the ass - Says mean things out of anger and sometimes actually means them 🚩 - Won't apologize half the time. He thinks kissing it better actually makes it better 🚩 - Regularly ignores his own bad habits instead of actually facing them 🚩 - Will run away from problems like Arthur, but worse. He'd be gone a really long time.🚩 - Gets annoyed with you if you get angry at him for leaving and staying away for a while. He told you he needed space, didn't he? What else do you need from him?? 🚩 - Ignorantly clueless half the time. Head empty, no thoughts.

Lenny Summers

- Not assertive in the slightest, and usually, respectfully, keeps to himself. -Takes orders without verbal complaints but inside he's annoyed as fuck 🚩 - Even if he hates doing something he'll probably just go "Okay" and do it anyway, and he'll sulk all day afterwards - Refuses to tell you what's wrong because he thinks he'll sound childish.🚩 - If you push the issue, he might snap at you out of annoyance like "Would you just let it be??" - Immediately feels guilty and shameful, and he'll hide away until he's ready to apologize and face you again - Also kind of a know-it-all... He'll correct you a LOT. It would get annoying 🚩 - Would blatantly tell you you're wrong before correcting you🚩 - Not necessarily an asshole about it but he still tends to get under your skin sometimes

Dutch Van Der Linde

- The BIGGEST Narcissist you'll ever meet.🚩 -He loses another piece of his mental state with every breath he takes. Slowly but surely losing his mind.🚩 - King of gaslighting🚩 - How could you even think that about him? He could never do anything wrong! You must be crazy...🚩 - Tries to recite his "pretty words" from Evelyn Miller to try and sound smarter than he actually is 🚩 - Expects you to just feed his ego without him actually doing anything to earn it🚩 - Will try to correct you even when he's wrong🚩 - Refuses to admit he's wrong. He can never be wrong. That word isn't even in his vocabulary unless he's talking about literally anyone but himself🚩

Micah Bell

- Where do I even start with this guy - Not above putting his hands on you if he doesn't get his way. Let's be honest here.🚩 - Mega Narccisist, almost as bad as Dutch 🚩 - Will brag and share every sexual encounter you've ever had with him like he's talking about the weather🚩 - VERY prone to Violence 🚩 - NO impulse control. Murders people for fun.🚩 - Backhanded and borderline abusive compliments 24/7 "You'd look so good if you weren't so fucking fat..." 🚩 - Selfish lover. Thinks just sticking it in will do the trick, and it does, for him at least.🚩 - Little to no affection. What are you? His girlfriend? Wait...🚩 -If he actually does show you affection, and you react in surprise, he'll tell you to go fuck yourself, and that that's the last time he ever does anything nice for you.🚩

Charles Smith

- Impossible to read sometimes - Like Arthur, Charles tends to keep a lot of his emotions bottled up until he feels like he's gonna pop 🚩 - Like most of the men in the Van Der Linde gang, Charles is also prone to acting violently. I mean, he started a bar fight with a fucking chair, and he fights in street fighting rings, let's be real for a second.🚩 - He's incredibly quiet and reserved a lot of the time, and sometimes you just assume that he's listening to you when you talk, but a lot of the time, he's lost in his own thoughts. - Will do everything anyone asks him to at the expense of his own free time and energy, and sometimes he works himself to exhaustion just to try and please everyone.🚩 - In doing so, he sometimes doesn't have time for himself at the end of the day. It also seems like you spend time together less and less as the days go on. - If he ever got himself hurt and you tried to help him, he'd decline any help with anything to save his own pride. The last thing he needs is you thinking he's weak. 🚩 - Extremely Overprotective. Like to the point where he'd beat the shit out of anybody you asked him to🚩

Sean Macguire

- An Alcoholic🚩 - horny 99% of the time, but half that time he probably has whiskey dick. Still asks you to try but doesn't understand that it's like trying to play pool with a rope... - If he can manage to be sober enough to actually get it up, and you're not in the mood, he'd get pissy and annoyed with you for "wasting his boner" 🚩 - Will probably also brag about having sex with you to everyone🚩 - Needy as all hell - Bro sulks on purpose - Low key loves the attention you give him when you continue to ask him what's wrong, but he never actually tells you and constantly says "I'm fine..." or "It's nothing..." 🚩 - But then sighs dramatically and continues sulking and dragging his feet so you keep giving him more attention 🚩

Hosea Matthews

- Ignores his physical health until he's practically dying. You've told him to get that cough looked at for literal years and he just says "I will" and does nothing 🚩 - sometimes talks to you as if you're a child especially if he's around Dutch -low key gaslights you sometimes 🚩 - and he says it with such a gentle tone, its hard to catch it 🚩

The girls

Mary Beth Gaskill

- Daydreams way too much - Likes to live in her romance novel fantasy land rather than face reality 🚩 - Cries a lot - Tries to be angry but can't help but cry instead - If crying makes you feel bad for her, she'll probably do it on purpose so you comfort her and give her attention🚩 -If you're in a fight, she'll turn on the crocodile tears to get you to stop being angry with her or whatever it is you're arguing about.🚩

Abigail Roberts

- She can be verbally abusive if she's pushed far enough 🚩 - Holds in a lot of her emotions🚩 - Neglectful of her own personal needs to make sure you or Jack are fully provided or cared for🚩 - a lot of the time, when she's upset with you, you're probably given the cold shoulder and the silent treatment - incredibly protective. Not necessarily a bad thing, but she can sometimes be super overbearing.

Tilly Jackson

- Tells it how she sees it, sometimes accidentally sounding a lot colder than she means to 🚩 - Too sarcastic for her own good 🚩 - Laughs a little too much sometimes when you tell a joke, and you can often tell it's actually incredibly fake🚩 - gets irritated really easily, especially if she's bothered while doing her chores. The last thing she needs is Grimshaw on her ass again.🚩 - irritable a lot of the time, unintentionally becoming short or snapping at you - like john, she also believes that kissing it better is better than actually apologizing

Karen Jones

- An alcoholic 🚩 - picks fights with you for fun, finds it entertaining to see how red your face can get from anger 🚩 - Screaming matches are a regular occurance between you guys, and she starts it almost every time 🚩 - Pretty jealous when it comes to the opposite sex🚩 - Has self doubt and believes that she can't give you everything a man probably could

Sadie Adler

- The nosiest woman in America. No chill. She reads everyone's mail. - Makes a lot of loose threats 🚩 - Anger issues🚩 - Low impulse control🚩 - Can be a little too rough sometimes 🚩 - If she's upset with you, she'll either yell or storm off. Sometimes both. 🚩 -(She tends to walk away a lot more often because she's actuall self aware that her anger issues are a problem) - She'd never admit that to you though.

Molly O'Shea

- Even more jealous than Javier🚩 - Glares at and envies anyone you talk to that isn't her🚩 - Has immaginary conversations with people in her head🚩 - Rubbing her hands together when the real life conversations are following the script she had planned out in her brain - Needs constant reassurance - "D'you even love me anymore?!"🚩 - Overthinks everything 🚩 - Paranoid as hell about infidelity - Gets mad at you when she dreams about you cheating on her🚩

[corvidae-00]

Please some jealous (kind of toxic ) joost but with a happy ending 🙏🙏🙏🙏

A/N: **fiddles fingers maliciously** this- I love this- He would so be sorta toxic and totally let his ego get ahead of him- this is gonna be fun to write! I hope you like it!!!!- GN!Reader x Joost :> CW: Toxic mannerisms, Marko is being used as the reason Joost gets worked up- (I love Marko I swear-), swearing, Angry Joost, tinny witty bitty bit of angst, Joost overthinking, smoking. (Let me know if I missed anything!! Word count: 1,747

The after party for eurovisions semi final was packed with the singers and the energy in the room was for sure through the roof. Joost your good friend and his group invited you to come with, Joost wanting to share this moment with you more than anything- the excitement and hype of everyone putting their hearts out there and competing only to come together to talk about how much happened, having you there would make it even better, if that would be even possible.

You agreed to come along, not that you had much choice, the Dutchman having begged and nagged and spammed you until you agreed. Not that you didn't want to come! But you knew you would stand out like a sore thumb, probably hang out by a corner waiting for the delicious food to be available or not so crowded. Looking over your outfit and the time you smile pleased with how you look and wonder slightly if Joost would too. You have had the biggest crush on him since a few months after you got to know him, the feelings having appeared and clung onto you with every ounce of power possible, and honestly? You were fine with that. Smoothing out your clothes you look at the time and decided if you want to make it in time you absolutely had to leave.

Grabbing your bag you left your hotel you had booked for the event and quickly drove over to the Venue like Joost told you it would be, not leaving the Malmo Arena, I guess the hosts didn't want to spend more money renting another place out for the singers, at least it was well know and easy to find. Stepping out of your car you hurry inside showing the security your invite from Joost and entering the main lobby reading your friends text to find the way glaring at the device unsure of what Joost was even trying to explain

"Are you looking for someone?" A strong accented and shy voice came from behind you causing you to turn around and blink a few times at the man in a very midevil looking outfit and gentle eyes holding a cup of what you assumed was water, but could be vodka- maybe he was crazy like that "Sorry- Im Marko.." He quickly introduces himself before continuing "You look extremely lost- Im sorry for spooking you" He says with a genuine tone leading to a smile pulling its way onto your lips. After introducing yourself you look back down at your texts "Im actually here for the after party? my friend- one of the performers invited me and he is quite the character when it comes to instructions..." You rub the back of your neck trying to explain the situation to the stranger who was just as bashful as you "Oh! I was just heading back! I'm not very talkative so I got some air but I can take you to the area they have for us" He offers running his hand through his hair that is surprisingly still in good shape like he had maybe applied hairspray not too long ago "Oh would you??" You put away your phone letting Marko nod and wave his hand indicating you to follow

"So who is your- eh- friend?" Marko looks over at you trying to make small talk. "Oh! His names Joost, he is representing the Netherlands." You explain and Marko's face brightens a little "Oh yes! I enjoy his company!" Marko nods with a smile "Makes sense you two are friends! it seems he can befriend almost everyone" He explains putting a finger to his jaw in what seems to be thought "Do you like cats?" Marko questions as you two get closer to the room, music can be heard from inside. nothing too crazy or club like but maybe just background ambiance "Oh yeah! They are so cute! I don't have any of my own but I like visiting my friends kitty's" You smile watching Marko excitedly pull out his phone "Oh let me show you mine!" He says as you two enter the room Marko going through his camera roll leaning into you to get closer so you can see better

Joost Turns to look at the door, hearing the squeak of the hinges that whines under the weight of it being even cracked open and furrows his brows seeing you walk in with Marko...What was he doing out there? Realizing he must have left the party Joost grows even more confused as to why you two were together- wasn't his directions perfectly understandable? His large blue coat long since shedded, Joost rolls up the sleeves of his white button up and crosses his arms leaning on a table watching the two of you interact. 'he is very close to you' he thinks to himself, a sour taste in his mouth watching you laugh at something he had said 'why is he, the shyer one of the bunch all buddy buddy with you? I mean you always have been so approachable- but that's not fair.' Joost clicks his tongue growing more and more impatient 'what if you are leaving me for him? what if you even forget who invited you here?' Joost can feel his patience thinning and the party getting quieter the more he focuses in on you two. Marko with a big grin on his face and you laughing at a photo he had shown you.

"Hey there you are!" Joost doesn't even recall when he had took strides over- or when he was so close to you he could feel the warm body heat emitting off of you "Marko! How nice of you to find my nieuwsgierig hertje". he purrs looking down at the man who is staring up at him "Oh uh-" Marko looks over at you and then slowly puts his phone away and wraps both hands around his drink "Yeah no issues" Marko nods. "No issues." Joost repeats grinding his molars together forcing a grin. he had never any issues with the Croatian- until he was basically in your arms "Bye-" Marko waves at you with a small smile wanting to escape the current situation and looking at Joost before entering the party again "Joost- You spooked him away" You sigh wrapping your arm around your friend leaning into him and Joost can feel his mind calming "He was too close to you" Joost huffs taking his glasses out of his chest pocket putting them on and pushing them up his nose

"He was showing me his cats-" You raise a brow and Joost looks down at you "that close? I think he just wanted to be up on you" Joost rubs his arms and looks away with annoyance lacing his voice "Whats got you in a mood?" you tug on his shirt and Joost grumbles "Nothing." He reply's and you frown "Nothing my ass, what's wrong" You stand your ground not expecting the tall blonde to drag you out into the hall not caring about his grand exit.

"Nothing is wrong." He snaps once you both get out into the hall "You were all emojis and smiles before you saw me walk in with Marko! he was very sweet." you huff and Joost crosses his arms "Sweet huh? sounds like you have a crush." He fixes his glasses that are slipping off his nose "I just met him Joost, what's up with you?" you frown walking towards him "This is a new side of you" You observe and Joost shakes his head "Im always like this okay?" he throws his hands up and you shake your head

"What- is wrong." you demand and Joost glares "Maybe I don't want to see someone I think highly of with some other guy." He says sarcastically "Highly of?" You push and Joost shakes his head "What are you talking about." You reach for him and Joost grabs your wrist, not hard- you could actually pull away if you wanted too "Someone I have wanted as mine forever, walks in with a guy who clearly was hanging off your every word." Joost pushes through his teeth.

you both stand there still as a wall and Joost observes your face, his pupils scanning you over and avoiding eye contact " you- want me?" You repeat and Joost sighs "onoplettend" he mutters and you shake your head "You cant use your mother tongue to get out of this Joost-" you say and take a shaky breath "Do you like me? like- like like-" You mutter and Joost swallows hard "Ja." He responds and you can feel your face grow hot "Really?" you mutter and Joost drops your wrist "Really. and it really- shook me I guess seeing you come in with him.." Joost grumbles and you shake your head "Your directions were ass" You laugh a little upon noticing Joost's offended face "They were eligible-" He defends and you sigh "I- feel the same- I have for such a long time-" You admit with a small smile "I never thought it was possible-" You shrug and Joost blinks at you like you are speaking in a whole other language

"Not possible-??" he repeats in pure shock "You are the most funniest, smartest, good looking, talented, and so much more of a person that I have ever met." Joost says his eyes going soft and you cant help the silence that comes after your brain still playing catch up with the new information "I wanted to tell you properly- a way you would see me as the same ways I see you..." He rubs his forearms nervously tracing his scattered tattoos. "but I guess-" He smiles "This might do?" he chuckles and you rub your mouth slightly with your hand "It does more than might do- I'm so happy-" You mutter and close your eyes taking a deep breath before walking towards him and embracing him in a big bear hug "You don't know how happy I am that you feel the same way" Joost says exasperated "Next time just tell me you goof than getting all jealous" You tease and Joost shakes his head "I was NOT jealous lets get that straight right now" He states playfully "Okay Mr.Not jealous" You chuckle as Joost wraps his arms around you "how does dinner sound tomorrow night-" He smiles and you nod slightly into his chest "consider it a date." you hum

Dutch translation: Curious deer: "nieuwsgierig hertje". Yes: Ja Oblivious: onoplettend A/N: heheheh I'm just cranking these out!!! I hope you liked it Anon and I hope it was what you were wanting! if not feel free to request again and I'm more than happy to keep writing!!! Thank you all for the love and the requests and everything! it makes my day seeing how many of you like my stuff....thank you! i love you all!!!!!

[mercurycft]

𝐓𝐖𝐎 - 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐋

series masterlist - here!

AUSSIE STAR TRADES BLUE FOR RED

HALLIE KING BREAKS AUSTRALIAN A-LEAGUE RECORD AFTER SIX FIGURE DEAL IS STRUCK FOR THE CHAMPION STRIKER OF MELBOURNE CITY.

•°. *࿐

LONDON, ENGLAND

HALLIE.

"everyone, this is hallie king-"

i stand awkwardly as the room falls into silence around me, all i can hear is a low shuffling and the sound of my heart thumping erratically in my chest. i try and keep smiling through it, coaching myself mentally through the panic in my limbs.

after a beat of quiet and before jonas can fully finish his sentence, there's a gasp and a small squeal from somewhere deep in the group ahead of us. my smile falters momentarily, eyes lifting to scan the group and identify the source of the noise.

i recognise faces, sending each of them meek smiles as my eyes flit along the line. it doesn't take long, small laughs breaking out as an all too familiar aussie pushes her way through the crowd of bodies.

"hallipops!" she screeches, arms open and running full speed towards me at the front of the room.

"stephbear!" i mimic, dropping my bag from my shoulder and throwing my arms around her.

we squeeze each other tightly, i let her familiar perfume seep through my senses - inhaling contently when she rubs her hand along my back. we share a quiet laugh when i hear her start to chuckle on my shoulder. steph stays attached to me for a minute or so, our bodies swinging side to side in a silent repute of our friendship. after a while she pulls back, but keeps me locked to her side when she turns back towards the group of girls now watching on with smiles of their own.

"this is hallie, my hallie," she explains, emphasis on the my when she squeezes my shoulder further into her side for a second. i try not to overthink the fact that means she's probably spoken about me, maybe on numerous occasions - but the way her smile beams beneath her eyes tells me i have nothing to worry about. im ushered away from jonas and into the center of the room without another word, surrounded my a sea of red jerseys.

i look back at jonas and mouth a small "thank you," to which he replies with a wicked smile and a small head nod.

he leaves the room with a "i'll leave you all to get acquainted, see you on the pitch, ladies!" everyone shouts an absentminded byes and agreements before the attention is turned back to me.

•°.

we spend twenty minutes or so greeting each other and exchanging the usuals. steph is stuck to my side for most of it, almost bursting with pride as she leads me around the group. i say hello to caitlin first, who i haven't seen in a good 6 months, giving her a tight squeeze. she asks about my family, i avoid the subject - like usual, then we move on.

that's how most conversations with most people seem to go recently, honestly, they ask how i am; how the family is, i avoid it and brush it off and then we move on.

i recognise beth, katie and jen from my countless calls with steph and cait. they all say hello, give me a small hug and introduce me to the rest of the girls.

they're kind, welcoming. easy to bounce off of. it calms my nerves to know that i haven't been fed to the lions in the middle of hunting season - a few of the girls explain how excited they are to have me playing with them, it feels strange. knowing that people know me, that im not just a young girl in melbourne hoping to play with her older brother any more.

after the pleasantries are done, they show me my cubby - it's essentially a locker space, where i can hang my kit and put my bag before and during training or games. i had assumed i'd be placed at the end, considering everyone already had their respective places within the room. i sit in front of my space for a moment, after the fuss has died down, my back pressed against the wall and my feet flat on the floor.

it's not as awkward as i thought it would be, even though i was going in with people i knew already.

i start changing my socks, shoes. smiling at the new red fabric that hangs around my thighs, then smiling out at the room surrounding me - i feel like a child again, playing dress up with my brother.

my mind wanders off as i tie my laces. the guilt tugging at the thread of my new kit outweighs the  joyousness of the occasion, the unraveling of my mind is cut short by the hollar of my name from across the tiled floor.

"oi, hallie!" my head snaps up, the voice is a bit harsh - loud, and scottish. i look around until my eyes land on jen stood by the exit with a confused look, "you coming or not, slowpoke?" she says with a laugh, causing me to jump up out of my seat.

i laugh with her and follow the group out onto the grass, chatting aimlessly amongst and over each other. jen, steph and me walk in a three into the middle of the pitch, where we stand in a semicircular line, steph still next to me with our arms interlinked, as if we were teenagers again.

steph has always been like a sister to me, an older, wiser, more attractive sister as she would describe it. we met at melbourne city, in 2015, and for a year we were inseparable. i had assumed that when she left for the states the following year that the contact, the talking, would trickle away and into nothing more than passing comments and instagram likes. but the opposite happened, we spoke everyday - saw each other when our schedules and flight times allowed. i stayed in melbourne, content in the comfort and safety inside my little shell. i stayed longer than i should've, and put up with a lot more stick than i should've in those years too.

she was aware the conversations between mc and arsenal were happening, but nothing more than the details i had told her - or that she had seen on social media. but stepping out of my australian shell and into a new city, knowing she was there, made the decision a lot easier.

we all stand listening to jonas and the other coaching staff, allowing them to flood our early-morning brains with their knowledge. i listen intently, nodding along to everything each of them say - he runs through the plans for the morning, what drills we will do - what time we will have gym and then a break.

i daze off half way through, listening to the sprinklers in the distance; watering the multitude of pitches that lay beyond our feet. before he waves the groups away, my attention is peaked and back on him.

"one last thing team, leah won't be attending training today, as i'm sure you have all noticed. i'm going to have kim drop back..."

then my attention is gone again, fixated on the grass beneath me. when i tilt my head to whisper towards steph, who has noticed my confused face.

"leah as in williamson? where is she?" i whisper,

"appointment i think, she should be back tomorrow though," steph replies mid-shrug

"should i be scared?" i question lowly, with wide sarcastic eyes and a pinched mouth.

"oh yeah, very," she teases, smile lacing her lips momentarily before dropping to a serious and stern face - we share a laugh between us, then zone in.

jonas finishes his speech a few minutes later,

"and for a final time, lets all give hallie a proper gunner welcome. you're gonna do great, great things here. welcome to the arsenal." his words are echoed with a round of applause, and accompanying shouts of encouragement.

i feel my cheeks prick along with the tips of my ears, laughing as the girls clap for me. i pull the sides of my shirt to make a makeshift skirt and curtsy for them, before joining them in their applause.

everyone puts their hands in around me, and mine sits on top of the others. the smiles and energy is contagious, buzzing around the group and facility. i look around, waiting for someone to lead.

"go on then, hallipop," steph whispers, gesturing her head towards our pile of hands. i smile widely, met with a crowd of nodding heads and expressions of encouragement around me.

"team on three,"

— RG x

i hope everyone is having a great monday! and you are all enjoying this, can't wait to see where this goes! sending my love to everyone, love always.