#im honored for the association still LOL

[dulcesiabits]

Have you read the poem ‘Warming Her Pearls’ by Carol Ann Duffy?

It came to my mind recently and it really reminded me of ‘plum blossom soliloquy’ — namely in the sense of the reader’s (somewhat unhealthy) feelings for Ruan Mei in the fic (the intense yearning which borders on obsession, the desire to be loved and to be close to somebody who is in some way or other unattainable)… and what I found really interesting while thinking about these similarities is the prevalence of skin-to-skin contact in the poem and how in the fanfic Ruan Mei is the only person who can touch the reader because of their condition.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I thought I’d share the cool comparison which came to mind!

(referencing this fic)

To be honest, I'm super flattered that you would compare such a lovely poem to my story, haha! I have read it before, and I love the sense of yearning and the intimacy of the poem itself. Loving someone who you can't have (a maid loving her mistress), and only being able to touch her indirectly, through the pearls... it's beautiful! It's a very tender piece with striking imagery.

You're right that they do share similarities! The maid and the reader are both in similar situations, so to speak. The intense longing and desire that can never be fulfilled, and the motif of skin to skin contact! In the poem, it's about the denial of this direct contact, and the maid's desire is only fulfilled indirectly through the pearls. The pearls, which ultimately cool and must be put away... In the story, it's about how Ruan Mei is the only one who can fulfill reader's desire for direct touch! And yet, even when this desire is met, there's an emotional aspect that's still left unfulfilled.... The woman you can't touch vs the only woman you can touch!

This was a really cool comparison! Thank you for sharing!!!

[stuckinapril]

i think you said somewhere you volunteer - do you have any tips on how to start doing that? ive been wanting to start both to help people out myself and to push my social boundaries but i get stuck in my head before i even get in the door somehow. do you have any tips lol? i think im overthinking this...

Hey no worries, I really like that you’re genuinely interested and trying to gather resources. I actually have some thoughts I’d like to share on this:

There are two types of volunteering: long-form volunteering and short-form volunteering. Short-term volunteering looks like participating in the occasional phone bank, helping raise donations every now and then, attending a food drive on a blue moon. Long-form volunteering is typically something like volunteering at a place on at least a weekly basis. A lot of the time that requires that the place actually train you so you’re of use to them. Before you look up places to volunteer, consider which type of volunteering suits your schedule the most. I do both, but I understand how not everyone’s workload can accommodate that.

When it comes to long-term volunteering, understand that just because it’s not paid work doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be taken seriously. You can’t do frequent callouts or blow off tasks because they’re not paying you to be there. A lot of the places that do social justice work—providing free food and medical care to homeless people, providing services to refugees—unfortunately do not have the necessary funding to support a whole lot of employees most times. Whatever your time commitment looks like, it remains a time commitment that needs to be honored regardless of pay.

With that said, it really is best to find something you’re actually passionate about, not something that you’re doing for the brownie points. One way to do that is to work towards a cause you have a personal connection to. For example, I volunteer weekly at a refugee center for middle eastern refugees. I also participate in a plethora of events with a view to assist Palestine in whatever ways I could. Because I’m an Arab girl, one w Iraqi heritage (also a war-torn Arab country), obviously all these things will be of personal importance to me. It’s easy for me to be incentivized to care about them, because I have this preordained connection to them. Personal connection makes it that much easier to be passionate about a cause.

But it’s equally important to mention that relatability isn’t the only way to care, nor should it be. I also volunteer at a clinic that provides service to homeless people weekly. I’m not homeless. I still care. I volunteer at my city’s Alzheimer’s research center. I don’t have Alzheimer’s. I still care. We don’t have to only associate ourselves with people we personally relate to. In fact, and this goes for life in general, you really should seek to befriend, interact with, and be curious about people who’re not like you. You should find their experiences intriguing: a window into another perspective you perhaps hadn’t thought of before. You should not always be surrounding yourself with an echo chamber of yesmen and homogeneity. Be curious about people who’re not like you. Try to put yourself in their shoes. And then learn to care about them.

It’s okay to frame volunteering as a way to benefit you too. It’s not a one-way street. There’s nothing more fulfilling than devoting yourself to something that’s solely rooted in your humanity. Not in the desire to be paid, not in the desire for acclaim, but simply in the desire to help. It makes you feel better. It boosts your self-confidence. It helps you form long-lasting connections with other people who’re also doing it out of the sheer kindness of their heart; out of the fact that they find it in themselves to care. And it reminds you of what really matters.

The biggest mistake is overwhelming yourself w 82727 resources and 72627 organizations. Start with something simple and stick with it, then go from there if you have the time to get more involved. A lot of the places that need volunteers would be happy with as little as one day a week, so long as you’re consistent about it.

It’s okay if you don’t have the time for long-form volunteering. Volunteering every now and then at one-and-done events still makes a huge difference. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking it has to either be this grand commitment or nothing. Please don’t think that way; organizations know life could be busy, and they’re happy to have you even if it’s only for the occasional event. Just make sure you’re doing something if you can.

[wavesmp3]

some of my fave rbs or asks or comments ive received... thank you all :) - no need for anyone to respond or anything to this, just really wanted to put this together more for myself - i doubt most of your remember these but i do heh [more under the cut, and perhaps lil notes too depending on the comment]

the first three!! major huge moments for me. from sha (@dinoshaur) one of the first comments i received on a work that wasn't fanfic exactly. meant the world to me then, and still does now. | from @redevenir the very very first comment (i believe) i ever ever received on the sea is yours to take,, it's been nearly 4 years since i first posted that piece and people still somehow find it, and it all started with that rb | and from choco ! @chocosvt one of the very first comments/rbs i got when i started properly writing on tumblr in 2020, this got the ball rolling on what became (and still is) such a dear passion/hobby of mine (also also can you believe i still use the mlist banner that choco oh so kindly made for me ages ago LOL its beautiful, i'll never get rid of it as long as this blog exists

and moment of silence for my old url :0

the first one... when another line of mine is quoted in another piece of mine's comments... head in hands forever. 2/3 of these were left by @gracefulweather (one for sure is, and i think the uquiz comment was also left by them but not sure) but thank you either way sherri!! | the second sc tbh i don't remember who left it but it was on tsiytt and it made me feel like i achieved something in crafting that world. although i may never revisit that world in writing, i revisit it often in my mind.

flower anon your comments meant so much to me, i hope youre still out there somewhere doing well :) | and to the other anon that left the second one, i was speechless and honored to reach that ask

@hhjs amal's comments have always made me feel like im doing something otherworldly which isn't true at all but i will forever love rereading their tags. also just amal's mind in general, i wanna pick your brain forever

n! i already made an emo missing n post but here are some comments from them lol. and the last one!!! me and water <3333 when people starting associating me with water/ocean/sea/waves too <333333

@heavenlyhaechan zahra!!! there were so many ones i could have put here but this one seemed to sum it all up. you get me :p if you see this, i hope you've been well :))

@dapingu the first and third one are just ones that make me giggle still LOL and then the second one is one that i hold so so close to me cause i had absolutely no idea if anyone would read that piece but then you did ! and you left this comment even after the fact too! i was so touched. i feel like i should personally apologize for making no moves to continue the series (and probably also for deactivating the gifts and sins blog) BUT thank you nonetheless. and as a added bonus you never failed to make me laugh so thank you also for that

@thepixelelf ursa!!!! the first one is horribly cut off but is prob one of my fave notes you ever left on a fic of mine (battling also with that one sunwoo recovery files style inspired drabble) and then ofc i couldn't not mention the 'boo you whore' comment :D also so glad to have you on this site still and to have your friendship and to look at bees and bears and think of you :) you mean the world to me

@kabira manx i think the fact that there are so many screenshots here speaks for itself like... i just simply could not bring myself to pick one !!! i am so lucky to have found you on here. i think in a way you helped me find out what i was good at and what i liked about my own writing before i even figured it out myself <3

@sagescaffeinemania the first one made me laugh and the second one makes me emo. feels like a declaration of love in way but i don't mean that in a weird way LOL i think your support on oasis singlehandedly introduced so many others to that piece, how can i ever thank you for that? and i apologize if i haven't even attempted a thank you yet

@cuppasunu KYU your bulleted comments on my silly long fics always meant so much to me ,, i know its been a very very long time but i hope you've been well

@blossom-hwa lina! best for last some might say. i mean you must know how much that oasis rb meant to me right? because it means the world. i think you calmed every doubt i had about that piece and lifted even higher everything i loved about it too. and the first sc esp, i couldn't have said it all better myself. that scene felt like i risk when i was writing it and im so glad it played out the way i was hoping it to and not the dreadful other way lol | and as for the second screenshot. really i think i love that comment because of how you wrote it more than what you said about the piece if that makes sense. one can tell from that little paragraph alone what a writer(!) you are. i love rereading that comment but i think i mainly just love reading your writing lol (dont think im not making my way through worn out soles)

[jellieclogs]

october media recap ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮

i love music, movies, tv, podcasts, games, books, and more. here's a recap of things i watched in october 2023!!

music ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚

i've been really into more indie blues type music as autumn comes to a head, my playlist autumn girls this is for you has a bit more songs that i really associate with this season. anyway heres the list!

mitski - my love mine all mine

mitski - i'm your man

these two songs are phenomenal, as is mitski's album "the land is inhospitable and so are we" i actually wrote a brief analysis on my love mine all mine as a love song and breakup song. the feeling it invokes in me is second to none, what a beautiful song.

olivia rodrigo - lacy

sixpence none the richer - kiss me

jane remover - search party

searows - used to be friends

phoebe briders - moon song

iron & wine - flightless bird, american mouth

mazzy star - fade into you

sting - shape of my heart

yeule - software update

yeule - sulky baby

taylor swift - "slut!"

rachel chinouriri - maybe i'm lonely

emile mosseri - jacob and the stone

i actually listen to this song to fall asleep, but i can assure you that i also cry every time i watch those videos on the internet with this song playing in the background. it perfectly encapsulates a feeling of hope and loss. beautifully done. minari was a phenomenal as a (real) movie lover, i love when movies have tracks like this that so clearly stand out from the soundtrack and score.

movies 🎞️✮⋆˙

i haven't watched as many movies as i'd have liked in october, it has been an emotional month to say the least. but, now im on anti-depressants so our regularly scheduled slaying is back. movies will be rated a 1-5 star based on how much i enjoyed it! and NO NOT EVERY MOVIE IS FROM THIS YEAR OR EVEN THIS DECADE <3

talk to me (2022) ★★★★

pearl (2022) ★★★★

the invisible man (2020) ★★★★

child's play (1988) ★★★★

doctor sleep (2019) (fucking insanely good) ★★★★★

bodies bodies bodies (2022) (so camp??) ★★★

call me by your name (2017) ★★★★

silence of the lambs (1991) (this is a perfectly made film. argue with the wall!) ★★★★★

and thats about it, i genuinely have been too busy with school to watch as many films, still have not seen barbie or the fnaf movie because im so busy and too broke to go to the movies constantly LOL. however, i will say what my favorite youtube video topics are currently in my honorable mentions section!!

honorable mentions ˙˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚

my current fave youtubers or streamers :3

dead meat (james and chelsea constantly demonstrate a genuine love for horror and have recently been branching out to video games amidst the SAG strike! love them and their work so much, they have definitely made me into more of a horror movie buff)

wendigoon (i will listen to this man talk about anything, but he constantly raises the bar with how informed he is on topics. he just likes to talk abt weird shit and thats really neat idk)

supertf (ive been watching this guy for over 5 years he is still the funniest ow streamer out there sorry)

kyedae (she is rlly funny and even though valorant is boring to watch i watch her play mostly, however i LOVE when she does variety or horror its so funny how scared she gets)

jacksepticeye (watching him play spiderman 2 bc i don't own a ps5, BUT ALSO sean just has the best playthroughs of games like this. love his takes on the game!!)

mike's mic (olivia wilde nodding gif like if you get it you get it!)

games im playing right now :3

the sims 4 (do i need to explain this rlly... i have 2000 hours on sims... currently building a tiny town for the new expansion pack :3 pics here)

sun haven (started playing with my bf, feels like stardew valley with a bigger world and more things to do! i HATE the fishing mechanic. it is not for me babes)

valorant (playing occasionally as i am not very good, but i have alot of skins so yipee)

overwatch (i have 1600 hours in the game unfortunately. addiction is real guys)

fall guys (just recently started playing with my friends again, idk why anyone wouldnt want to play this its free and fun. theres a hatsune miku skin in the game like CMON)

genshin impact (im actually really invested in fontaine's story, if i had multiple hours a day to game i would do all the story quests and things but again, im so b u s y. still farming for arataki itto, pls come home)

bloons td6 (i've somehow racked up 60 hours on this game...its so fun...i love it...)

lastly, my october hyperfixation was...

horror movies and true crime!! i watched over 100 hours of movies, video essays, podcasts, and documentaries relating to horror and true crime. i'm officially burnt out of it though, so i will be back next month to once again happily share my interests!! byeee

- jane ⋆｡° ✮

[martyrbat]

every few days i see hockey(?) liveblogs from you (I enjoy the enthusiasm even if i have no idea whats going on). What are the main teams you're following? is it just hockey?

this is so sweet, thank you for the support even if youre a little lost! it is just hockey! but i got plans to get into baseball when it starts in february (go pirates and cubs!) but a little too wordy vomit under the cut about my teams :)

my top team is pittsburgh penguins. for better or worse (and usually worse)—i will be there for every game and saying we're so back after one score when we're down by 5. i will defend them until my last breath, theyre the team ill always put on when having to choose between which ones are currently on. its not a hockey team, its sidney crosby building an ice family with his 5 and counting partners and being known for his banana bread and kind heart and fat ass while literally being the inspiration for over half the players in the nhl because hes been wonderful since he was a rookie. its 18 years of love and friendship despite the odds and how theyre so open in loving and supporting their teammates while hockey culture is filled with toxic masculinity. its the narrative loving and hating us, its sidney being gods most loveable and tortured lamb, its geno whos hilarious and dramatic with a heart of gold, its tanger and his greasy hair, its the babygirlifying grown men AND rooting for the old underdog who are in the 4th spot for the playoffs in their metro area despite our powerplay being a joke and our star players ages (late thirties isnt old by any account but for a high energy physical contact sport?? average retirement is 25-30 instead while 13 of our guys is 30+ and playing some of their best hockey)

after that i really like the leafs despite them being the leafs! theyre a blast to watch (sometimes) and theyre a big third period game, for better or worse. so its always exciting (sometimes unfortunately)! auston matthews is my top favorite from them, hes absolutely remarkable and doesnt get the credit and appreciation he deserves. but i also love the other players, mo, willy, and mitch all especially have a place in my heart :) third fav tosses around with who i can catch a game from most to be honest since a lot of times they overlap too much. im fond of the wild because their goaltender (flower!) was ours for forever. kraken is a blast and has lots of old penguin players too. avalanche is fun to root for when ive seen some games :) im less familiar with all of them but hockey is a fun sport to just throw yourself into and learn as you go so its never been an issue!!

teams i hate is anyone who won against my special guys in the last month tbh HFIFJ but i REALLY hate the chicago team, flyers, and vegas knights. chicago is.... a lot of bad shit off ice and has so many controversies—from their name and jerseys to players being abusive and cover-ups of sexual assault from coaches. just hate them and anytime i see those jerseys and remember theyre allowed while flower was threatened with a lawsuit if he wore his helmet (was designed specially by an indigenous artist to honor flower's indigenous wife and their kids during native american heritage month).... god i just get too pissed, theyre number one for who i despise. flyers are the biggest rivals to the penguins so it makes more sense (but also fuck the capitals and canes for personal grievances. also still mad at the canucks) vegas golden knights just annoys me so much with how theyre still calling themselves the misfits and i associate them with flower leaving so!!!

sorry for the little. word vomit lol but !!! if you ever want to get into hockey, please dm me! im no expert by any means and i know me throwing names out there is intimidating but i promise its fun once you get into it and you dont need to know much to just start watching! for me its great to have something to look forward to every week and watch something happen as it actually happens and liveblog—it kinda feels more like a loose community experience that i never got because of my health issues and disability! its also just fun to be dramatic (screaming its so over when scored on /celebrating a goal) over something thats kinda... not that important. (important for the players and fans ofc but it doesn't change anything in MY daily life outside of how i feel which is refreshing!) sports in general kinda encourage those big emotional responses and it can be great catharsis and silly if you let it be :) and the fan community here can be so welcoming if you just fully ignore twitter and the straight white angry men on it <3

come look at gifs of people calling a 36 year old babygirl and the excitement of a goal celly. come watch funny videos and clips and at how *our* captain wore tiny little shorts and a white shirt to get dunked in a water tank for charity. come and slowly learn how much shit the players put up with as rookies and have the happiness of hindsight at what happiness their futures would hold and why me saying 18 years of love and friendship despite the odds is so big because thats genuinely so rare (only 127 retired players in all of nhl history has accomplished this). come get emotional at poetry over getty images hockey pictures and relish in the delight that is finding art everywhere you go. come see people say that sidney needs to get knotted up and mpreg debates in who will abort that thang or not. take my hand and become a hockey fan, i prommy its not scary—not even during the 'who the fuck is this' stage <33

[petrichoraline]

hiiii <3 what are your all time favorite bls and why? i need to fill up my to-watch list asap

oh, this ask made me ecstatic to the point i considered one of my moots sent it cause they know giving recs makes me happy 😄

what I'd constitute as faves isn't necessarily what i would usually recommend, to moots i mostly suggest shows and movies that i find unique in some way and that have left a good impression on me like i will knock you, kimi no koto dake mite itai, word of honor, fukou kun, the untamed, docchi mo docchi, seven days, itsay, msp, vice versa etcetcetc. it's not necessarily about perfect writing or acting even, it's about the piece of media provoking either lots of thoughts, emotions or both, having at least one unique trait i associate with it and just being enjoyable despite (or because of) its flaws! so that's the type of media i usually enjoy sharing with others.

now, it's infinitely easier for me to give recs based on any other criteria but "my personal faves" is such a subjective category (that im not even sure exists) that i had to cheat a bit - i went off of what couples make me go feral, what emotions the show title evokes and if i've revisited certain scenes. i don't do full rewatches for the most part but i sometimes go back to watch the main couples (the exception being waantul in between us, i know their scenes a hundred times better than winteam's lol) and most of the shows listed here have been revisited at least once 😗

Love Is Science? - NOT a bl, the pair in question are the second couple; i personally went through every episode looking for their scenes and then went through the cut on yt (and rightfully so, quite a few scenes were missing in that); i'm recommending you smth this inconvenient because i love Mark and Ou Wen so much. their personalities (they have personality for daysss), the chemistry (the hanger scene), their love and support for each other make me giddy. they carry their part so well you don't need much else, just watching them interact is enough. going through gifs now i got reminded of just how amazing the development of their relationship is to me. they're a delight and a half, enjoy them flustering each other 💖

To My Star Season 2: Our Untold Stories - now, i'm aware you have to see s1 first but when it comes to who makes me go feral, it's definitely Seojoon and Jiwoo and this happened mostly because of season 2, i didn't care for them much originally. this season explored an aspect of relationships i don't think i've seen explored anywhere else in a way that makes me still get in my feels whenever anything bout the show comes across my dash. it's angsty but so worth it. my boys have intense personal issues and even more intense love for each other, their personalities, way of thinking and chemistry are fascinating to me. the cuteness mixed with the heavier plot, the pacing, the smart writing, it's so nice. side note, binging both seasons at once wouldn't be that big of a challenge timewise in case you don't want a breather in between 😊 (gif from s1 because you can't watch them separately anyways)

Kieta Hatsukoi - a sweet light romcom for the most part, very entertaining, all of the characters are soo loveable, one of my all time fave girls in bl is here and she's everything <3 in regards to manga accuracy, the main events are all there but the order is all switched around yet the story still makes perfect sense! it's funny, it's sweet, Aoki and Ida are such an interesting pair and it's lovely seeing them figure out how to navigate this unexpected relationship

We Best Love: No. 1 For You - it's such a must watch! the passion these two have for each other and the chemistryyy will make you overlook the sheer absurdity of some of the plot; i also loved the 2 season format where the second season feels well planned, it's almost like one whole season cut in half. the emotional journey that Shu Yi and Shi De go on is so (melo)dramatic but also very touching because Sam and Yu act those emotions OUT, it's a pleasure just watching them interact (also Shu Yi is one of the few brats i adore dearly and i think it's not only because of the writing but Yu's incredible portrayal of the character)

Bad Buddy - i wasn't able to appreciate it for its wit because it was basically my first thai bl, i had no idea what expectations it was defying. nevertheless, i fell in love with it because it stands so well on its own! it's very funny, heartbreaking at times (reading analyses and meta on here made me realise how heavy the premise actually is) and insanely romantic (it caters to my idea of romance so well, the pining and protectiveness and flirting and devotion and-); also Pat and Pran have some amazing communication and mutual understanding, their bond is truly endearing and makes my heart ache if i think about it a bit too long

KinnPorsche - when it comes down to it, i am a very basic person. this show is just a ride, you gotta watch it for the pure entertanment value. there's always smth happening, that's for sure 😄of course chemistry, ofc handsome men all over the place yadayada but it'd be just that if not for the insane plotlines and humour, if you just accept that anything goes, you can have a blast with this show (but also hurt beautiful men finding comfort and love in a world of pain and betrayal>>)

Where Your Eyes Linger - though I can't make myself rewatch the heavier scenes, i love this one, the premise, the execution, it's all to my taste, the longing between these two is palpable (side note: i was getting emotional while searching for a gif but a bunch of the results were porn gifs so i was taken out of my feels multiple times lmao)

Utsukushii Kare - I'm way more normal about them now than before but this show truly makes you feel so many things, it's so smart and fantastic. Hira and Kiyoi's journey is beautiful and it embodies what i love seeing from japan's productions. they're just two lovely guys who are perfect for each other and shouldn't be let anywhere near the dating pool ❤️

Semantic Error - man, i love me some enemies to lovers, especially when both leads are Fools™️ for each other. the humour and pacing, the colourful side characters, Jaeyoung's charisma, his determination contrasting Sangwoo's inner battle..and, I know I'm becoming repetitive, the chemistry! there's a reason my guys won awards js

The End of the World with You - this show drove me insane, it's more of a one-time watch imo but i'm saying this because I was very focused on the main couple and they were what kept me watching (plus the suspense of course); it's a heavy heavy premise with the most controversial couple on this list but somehow it felt very light and exciting for the most part. I think their unconventional surroundings account for it, you don't get the typical chaos an apocalyptic show would display, it kind of feels calm even and it allows you to focus on the interpersonal relationships between the characters rather than on the expected terrors. the show fascinated me with the amazing acting and the dynamic between Ritsu and Masumi, I have a special spot for them <33 (no photo cause the limit was reached lol)

because deciding on faves is hard i'll leave this list at 10 shows, consider these just 10 of the many shows that are important to me in some way 💓

hopefully i suggested mostly things you haven't seen yet (though I went quite basic) <3 i need to know what you think of the shows, okay? and in case they don't do it for you (or, even better, they do and you come to trust me lol) feel perfectly welcome to send me some info about what you (don't) enjoy in terms of genre, tropes, episode length, actors etc.etc. and i'll dive into my lists hahah, it's super fun for me 💗

[autistic-sidestep]

hello I am LATE but can I ask 🍿🍋 for the OC ask game with Sura? 👀

🍋Do you have a song that you associate with them? SEVERAL. distorted light beam + give me the future by bastille are pretty apt for it, and ofc still feel by half-alive's been on sura's playlist since 2019 and a lyric from that had been the original title so. YAY!!!

honorable mention to no good deed from the wicked musical for post-hb stuff and all eyes on me from bo burnam's inside.

yknow what let's slap the playlist link down while im at it

🍿Favorite show/movie?

i am legally obligated to say lilo and stitch. sura and themmy used to binge a bunch of animated films together on account of the "not getting to have a childhood" thing and wanting to catch up. sura's going [squeaky toy noises] and big relating to lilo's weird autistic girl thing and stitch being an escaped experiment that everyone thought was evil but learnt to love just a little too much,,,,

themmy: so what did you think? t: t: are you crying? sura, very obviously holding back tears: no

also i think if megamind and the incredibles exist in fhr verse. yea. am i pushing it if i also say star wars lol (cough baby sura's haircut is pretty similar to ANH luke lol)

[moon-lit-willow]

abelia, edelweiss, taro!

tysm!! <3 sorry these answers are long

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

i have a silver saturn necklace that i got at griffith observatory in seventh grade that i wear everyday! i also have a bunch of fun earrings that i love, but i really love my felt bee earrings. for can’t part with, i have some necklaces that my grandma has given me as heirlooms that i would be sad to get rid of!

unfortunately, recently i’ve also been wearing an apple watch everyday. i think they’re ugly as fuck, but i’ve been having some trouble with my heart rate that i want to be able to monitor at least a little.

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you?

i think when i first chose it it was related to a musical, but i can’t remember which lol. now, honestly, i just think it’s pretty. plus, i don’t really want my username tied to a certain fandom/interest bc i don’t like changing it

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

id probably end up talking about how i’m doing in school. for more exciting things, i’d tell them about how my knowledge bowl team did at regionals, how the musical im doing (anything goes) is going, how i’m officially an editor of the school newspaper (i was assistant editor before), and how i got first chair (of the second band, but still) in an honor band coming up! prob would not talk about the emotional turmoil that’s been going on though

[sexybabystevie]

i saw someone else do this and IM DYING to know so... if you had to assign each mutual a taylor album what would they all be assigned?

i already know i'm gonna forget people because i still, unfortunately, do not have all of my mutuals on my list (ugh i keep forgetting :") ) but here we go!! if i don't tag you i'm sorry, and if you reply i'd love to add you!! <333

starting with ally since she sent this in :)

ally @yoalchumly - red tv. not only because you listened to atw10 for HOURS upon hours in a single week lol, but also because a lot of how we met and the things we talked about remind me of the topics of this album. also, you have the very sincere, heartfelt and emotional (not at all in a bad way) nature to you, and to me that's what encapsulates the red album <3

lily @my-my-only-angel - (first of all i am SO sorry we hardly ever interact, but ily!! my tumblr feed sucks these days and i rarely ever see your posts but i still very much appreciate you!!) to me, you are SO cool it's not even funny. and you have the best bad bitch energy (a lot of people here a going to be hearing this btw so be prepared) so ultimately i'm bestowing upon you reputation!! you give off the vibes of someone who is unapologetically and confidently themselves, and i really admire that in you! that energy is absolutely present and rep and there is why i associate it with you!! <3

ela @lovelyela - (i know you're still kind of inactive but that's totally okay! i've been a mess about my blog recently so it's not biggie, but i wanna include you anyway so i hope that's okay!!) every time i've spoken to you, you have been absolutely so kind and sweet! you were one of my first even stranger things related mutuals, and i'll never forget that!! for that reason, i'm giving you debut album taylor swift!! you have the very kind, shy kind of vibe that that lbum has as a whole to me!! <3

natti @natti-ice - okay. you are literally so cool i'm not even kidding. like i am SO honored that you're one of my mutuals/friends and i LOVE always seeing you in my feed! so i'm also giving you reputation because, again, you have amazing energy that's very confident and you're just SO cool <3

vic @royalmaybank - we haven't interacted in like. a REALLY long time and i am so sorry!! i absolutely need to catch up on what you've written recently!! to me, you give off both the vibes of lover and folklore, but if i had to ultimately pick one then i think i'd go with folklore! the softness and calmness of it all, combined with the way that to me, every song on that album feels so made with love reminds me of you!! <3

anna @keeryshouse - anna!! we haven't talked in SO long but i'll literally never forget the first time we talked!! i always looked up to you a lot and that was just so so special to me! (and also when that anon said they thought we were the same person. literally one of the highest compliments i have ever received 😭) i'm giving you evermore!! for a lot of reasons haha. your writing is absolutely amazing - you write scenes and characters and just EVERYTHING so well - and to me you have the steve harrington fanfic equivalent of evermore's amazing lyrical genius. also!! your writing also makes me SO emotional, no matter the genre or what's happening in the story, and i think that's another thing that evermore does amazingly and so do you!! <3

ava @lxvecakes - you are so absolutely lover. from your theme to your love of pink and the overall softness of your personality!! you have such amazing and sincere lover vibes, and you were absolutely the easiest person for me to choose an album for, honestly!! not only are you absolutely enamored with love and being in love, but you're also such a lover yourself and i think that's absolutely amazing and beautiful!! <3

anna @steddiesandwich - a little unrelated but i absolutely miss talking to and interacting with you!! i still see you on my dash on occasion but i do miss some of the little convos we used to have because they were so fun! if i chose an albm for you, i'd choose midnights! i feel as though your blog is very organized, but you also have such a wide variety of ships and characters from stranger things that is so refreshing to see, and it reminds me of the ways in which midnights is basically bits and pieces of all of her other albums, a gian variety that is tied together beautifully, and that so reminds me of you and your blog! <3

lo @noirgoths - lo!!! i adore you and talking to you so much, and you've been so kind and have been there for me so much in the past few months, and i am so so grateful for that! :) you're someone who's very honest and genuine, but you're also so so cool too!! you're very strong and independent in ways that i wish i could be, and that reminds me a lot of midnights and how the songs there are both very open and sincere and are also self-aware and uplifting at times!! <3

bee @sunflowerharrington - we haven't interacted in a while or very much, but i still look up to you a lot and wish we did talk a little more!! but no worries because honestly i'm a little shy lmao; anyway! from what i've seen of you and how we've interacted together, you remind me most of midnights as well! (sorry 😭 a lot of midnights album recipients in a row but it's simply my opinion :") ) you have a lot of the qualities that i identified with lo; unapologetic sincerity regarding yourself and who you are, etc, and i know that we don't talk that much so i could be totally wrong, and that's my bad if so! (also i hope this isn't awkward because i'm cursed with not knowing how to talk to people :") ) <3

brooke @circesstars - oh my gosh. you are SO so kind and considerate and helpful, and i'm so glad that you're always open to helping me with things when needed!! i love when we randomly talk late at night (lmao) and discuss the absolute most random things :) for that reason, and a few others, you most remind me of 1989! a lot of songs on 1989 are about friendship and how important being with friends is, and that along with your general vibes really reminds me of 1989! (i genuinely hae no idea how to describe the vibes thing, so my apologies lmao. you just very much remind me of moving/visiting new york with all your closest friends and having the time of your life while there :) ) <3

athena @puppy-coded - i'm so glad that we became mutuals a little while ago!! your energy and vibes are, as your url says lol, very puppy coded and i love that! you have such an energetic and fun vibe and i love it, and thus you remind me of 1989 in that way (that's totally different from brooke's 1989 vibes?? idk how my brain works, oops-) anyway :") <3

persephone @very-offkey-kazoo - i love love LOVE talking to you so much!! the little dad jokes everyday and just talking to you about anything in general - including, ofc, cat pics <3 - makes me so happy and i always love hearing from you each day!! i value your friendship so so much!! the album i'm giving you is speak now, which makes more sense to me personally than it probably will vibes or content wise. speak now is the taylor album that i largely associate with the best parts of my childhood, and even though we haven't been talking for this long, talking to you is so easy that it feels almost like i'm talking to someone i've known since i was that little :) maybe that's weird - idk :") - but!! that's the album that i most associate with you <3

OKAY i'm done!! as i said if i forgot anyone i am SOOO sorry, please let me know and i'd love to write you one!! <333

[wttcsms]

i just wanted to ask your advice about life and grad school and trying to not think about the prestige of certain schools since i feel like you'd just provide a lot of insight on it, and sometimes i feel lost in my life even though i'm pretty young still haha! but sometimes i'm nervous on the fact that i may not get into a good college but idk if that makes sense ^^

hi!!! i personally really enjoy talking abt my academic (+professional) career & i am so honored that you would come to me for any type of advice omg!!! i will say that being young comes with a lot of bouts of insecurity; when i went to my original university, i admittedly didn't have much school spirit or even pride for it. i chose it because i got a full ride academic scholarship to attend, and once you're in college, you realize just how EXPENSIVE the Real World actually is, and so, even though my first university didn't necessarily come with a lot of "prestige" (even kids back home didn't wanna go there LOL), it was a very smart decision for me to attend there because i graduated with my bachelor's, high honors, with no debt!!

i also used to be obsessed with the prestige of schools, and as i look into phd programs, i suddenly am transported back to when i was younger + worried about how a school name would look on my final transcript or resume. the truth is, prestige doesn't guarantee you much.

i will say that certain universities and colleges can help you network, but it doesn't really matter if those relationships are shallow, right? we (and profs you have) aren't going to be so inclined to help you out with 100% enthusiasm if they don't really know you too well, right? so for me, even though the first university i attended was honestly kind of crappy, i decided to make the best of it! professors are humans too, and it's hard for them (esp during freshman & sophomore classes) to connect with students, and most students aren't going to want to put forth the effort to have a relationship with them. i made it an effort to introduce myself to a select few profs, i would attend office hours, i would make a point to engage during lectures, etc. i basically stood out from my peers, and in the long run, that has helped greatly, esp when it came time for me to turn in letters of recommendation for grad school. my "deeper" relationships that i spent a semester (or several semesters; the college was small and i had the same profs for several classes lol) cultivating paid off bc i had spectacular, personalized letters of rec that probably would have been harder for me to obtain had i attended a "prestigious" school where im certain a bunch more students would be vying for the prof's attention OR the professor would be too busy with their own workload and research to really be attentive to me.

while at the "crappy" university i attended for undergrad, i managed to secure two internships, one w/ jp morgan. lots of interns never heard of my school, and believe it or not, with the ivy league students i interacted with, they either knew the same amount or even less of what was going on than i did. they go to great colleges, fantastic schools, have been attending private feeder schools that would land them at these prestigious schools i'm sure you're looking at, and the fact of the matter is, it's not like everyone who attends there is a genius. when i was younger, i thought that the school you attend is directly associated with how smart you are, but that is def not the case. never, ever, ever question your intelligence if the school you want doesn't accept you. it's so corny, but rejection really IS redirection.

what i really want you to realize is that a good college is purely dependent upon YOU, as a student. form genuine connections with your profs (these relationships might come in handy; not just for grad school, but i've had several profs actually come to me with internship AND post-grad job opportunities with their friends' companies), be active and engaged on campus (join a club, do community service; if you do join a club, though, it is best to have a leadership role within it), consider asking a close prof if you can be a teaching assistant, approach your classmates confidently and be friendly to them, work hard!!! undergrad is fantastic for figuring out or getting an idea of what you want to do in the future!!! i was 16 when i started college full-time & i just picked a major (accounting) where i thought i could get a job with it LOL. nearly 5 years + one degree later, i figured out that working in industry wasn't for me & that i much prefer academia haha!!! try out a little bit of everything; i'm starting my fourth internship pretty soon, and honestly, you don't know what you don't like until you actually try it out.

i hope you have the greatest college experience of your life! when we're young, the silly stuff doesn't seem so silly (re: the prestige of the school you attend), but it's ok! because no one expects us to have perspective when we're young lol. just know that no matter where you go, make an effort to make the best of it :)

edit: some success stories!!! my undergrad aka what i considered to be a tier below community college (nothing wrong with cc either!!!); many of my classmates have went on to attend "prestigious" colleges for their own phd programs :) one of my close friends completed her undergrad in biology and is attending a private college for a phd; one of the colleges i'm looking at!!! my other friend works full-time at goldman sachs, which is proof that you don't need a columbia degree in finance to get in LOL. so, finding good opportunities is possible no matter where you end up attending <3

[ivypool]

stranger things, wings of fire, the last of us (tv and game), and the 100

stranger things

favorite male character: lucas and steve

favorite female character: el and nancy

least favorite character: nobody hates billy more than i do

prettiest character: nancy or robin

funniest character: erica

favorite season: s3 probably, even though i really do love all the seasons s3 is just so comforting to me. i just love the aesthetic of s3 and the elmax scenes, it’s just a really fun season, and summer 2019 was a pretty good time in my life so i have a lot of good memories associated with s3. also that’s when we were introduced to robin for the first time :’)

favorite episode: dear billy or mall rats

favorite romantic ship: i am elmax's #1 fan, i loved them since s2. i do also really love ronance, and some honorable mentions are byler, henclair, jargyle, steddie, buckingham and stonathan. i pretty much ship everything that isn’t canon LOL

favorite family ship: willel + jonathan, and i headcanon max & steve, max & nancy, steve & robin as all being familial relationships so i love those too

favorite friendship: the fruity four, scoops troop, will & robin, max & robin, max & the party, steve & the party (just the whole party with each other in general tbh)

worst ship: h*rringrove, or really any ship with billy in it since i saw some people shipping him with eddie too…if anyone’s reading this and you ship billy with anybody stay the hell away from me thanks. m*leven also sucks just let them be platonic besties pls

wings of fire

favorite male character: starflight my beloved

favorite female character: carnelian…she’s literally just a background character who appeared in one book but i love her so much she had so much potential. and i really like tsunami and snowfall too

least favorite character: riptide he sucks, he’s not even remotely interesting

prettiest character: glory or blaze

funniest character: qibli or sunny

favorite season (arc): the first arc will always hold a special place in my heart

favorite episode (book): i loved a dangerous gift so much

favorite romantic ship: a tie between blacier and snowlynx

favorite family ship: the dragonets of destiny, tsunami & anemone & turtle, glory & deathbringer (i headcanon them as familial instead of romantic)

favorite friendship: the jade winglet

worst ship: ripnami, glorybringer, any of the DoD shipped with each other

the last of us

favorite male character: this is a basic answer but joel. i love him sm he’s my dad

favorite female character: riley :((

least favorite character: if abby has 1000 haters im still one of them. if she has 1 hater its me. if abby has 0 haters it means i have left this world. (david also is obviously awful but my first instinct was to say abby)

prettiest character: dina <3

funniest character: ellie

favorite season: the first game is the only game. tlou 2 who?

favorite episode: left behind

favorite romantic ship: rellie and dellie

favorite family ship: joel & ellie, ellie & dina & jj, i also love ellie & tommy and ellie & tess

favorite friendship: ellie & sam, ellie & jessie & dina

worst ship: ellie with any man, ellie x abby is also a terrible ship though

the 100

favorite male character: murphy

favorite female character: octavia and clarke

least favorite character: honestly fuck kane, finn, titus, cage, cadogan and pike i hate them all. i’m also not a fan of abby

prettiest character: octavia and raven <3

funniest character: murphy although octavia had some funny moments in the earlier seasons too

favorite season: 2, 5, 6

favorite episode: either eden (s5 ep1) or nevermind (s6 ep7)

favorite romantic ship: niytavia, clexa, and lunaven are so special to me. i also like bellarkecho as an ot3

favorite family ship: CLARKE AND MADI they’re seriously everything to me

favorite friendship: clarke & raven, octavia & madi, echo & madi, madi & murphy, clarke & murphy, raven & murphy

worst ship: i can’t ship bellamy and clarke without echo, so b*llarke ig. i also don’t really care for raven & murphy romantically, i think they work better as friends, and maybe i’m really biased towards loving niytavia but i just hated octavia and levitt

leave a series in my ask box

[jumpdriveproject]

do you like vaporwave? if so, some of your favs? if not, why not?

Technically yes, but I try to not really engage with vaporwave as a genre or aesthetic because I feel like viewing it that way can negatively impact the way I view an actual work. Like I dont want to listen to something and think "this is good for vaporwave" or something, yknow, I wanna take stuff on its own merits. That being said I do enjoy what would be considered the "vaporwave sound" and if you watch my streams im very obviously vaporwave/webcore/y2k/etc. adjacent in visual style (tho i think the "outrun" branch kinda sucks and needs to go away.)

The first thing I heard that introduced me to that type of sound was "Flowers" by bEEdEEgEE ft. Lovefoxxx and is still something I come back to. (Photosensitivity warning btw)

"Vaporwave" wasnt well known as a term yet, so I just knew this particular song hit different at the time.

Then obviously Floral Shoppe hit, which I still think is good even if it has a lot of baggage associated with it nowdays (effectively created the "genre" and "aesthetic" elements that got overused/misunderstood/etc.) At that point I would probably have said I was a fan, even though I really didn't engage with the scene that much. As such, idk who all turned out to be dirtbags so I'm not gonna vouch for any of them as people except Vektroid who, ironically, I met as a fellow vtuber rather than through her music, still kinda baffled we're mutuals tbh lol.

I think I mostly just listened to Far Side Virtual, A Heart Full of Love, The occasional PrismCorp, I've enjoyed what I've heard of Windows96 Also enjoyed the rare "can we make this a thing?" stuff like this Especia track, and honestly just a bunch of shit that appeared on my youtube that is long forgotten.

Over time I started to listen to more Future Funk than Vaporwave because of the Artzie Music youtube channel. Some songs I would actually go back to are:

After listening to some of the stuff in my youtube likes from however many years ago, there absolutely was a lot of "this is good for what it is" type of stuff that I don't think I would listen to again, so I'm just sharing the stuff that I think holds up.

---

Honorable "Maybe not really Vaporwave but occupies the same brain space" Mentions:

The work of Isaac Delusion, The work of Princess Chelsea, in particular No Church On Sunday & Is It All Okay, The work of Yeule, in particular Pretty Bones & Pixel Affection The work of Gang Gang Dance (a member of which is bEEdEEgEE)

And of course the "City Pop was a thing???" era of vaporwave/futurefunk that gave us stuff like Plastic Love (I dont even need to link it, you know.) Fantasy, I Love You So, Telephone Number, Glass No Sogen, etc.

---

Even with all its baggage and for-better-or-worse genre trappings, I think the Vaporwave Era was really inspiring, having hundreds of people who all were taken up in the frenzy and just made shit. Looking back at some of this stuff really makes me wish I had the knowledge and drive to get back* into music. Maybe someday.

[buggyandthebartoclub]

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

I LOVE YOU SM WIFE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖SMOOOOCH

HIIII WIFEY ILYSM SM SM YOU ARE MY #1 FOREVER <<<333 (MY PHONE IS DEAD BUT YOU KNOW THE PIC W THE FERAL HEARTS YOU USE YES THATS ME @ YOU Papyrus: okay so i did this and got a Chappell Roan song so youre getting more than one bc it feels so wrong to just list Red Wine Supernova when there is also Casual, My Kink is Karma, and Pink Pony Club RIGHT THERE!! (Honorable mentions include: Hot to Go!, Femininomenon, and Guilty Pleasure) And all of these just super fucking fun and hit so many things for me and Chappels videos are also stellar story telling so i enjoy that as well. These are songs I usually binge when I'm in the coloring stage of drawing Abelia: I almost always wear one of my wedding rings when I am out, I have two. One is the ring my husband proposed with/we married with. And the other one was in the family and was gifted to my husband. and a witcher school of the cat necklace or my cyberpunk 2077 pendant as far as pieces I cant part with that would have to be both this super gorgeous pretty tacky/gaudy pin I have, its longer than my whole hand its a gold multi jointed tiger w gems on it. Will attach pic in replies bc im on my laptop lol and I have 2 different seashell bracelets my dad gave me from his trip to turks and caicos when i was like 12 lol, I dont wear them and i dont really speak to my dad but i am still really blown away by the craftsmanship of them that I still sometimes just pull them out and look at them. (not digging them out rn but one of them the seashells are whole??? its so delicate and pretty idk how in the world they threaded them, the other one it is very thin rectangular slices of seashell stacked together/threaded together, also very beautiful and fascinating to me tbh)

[diesoonandsuffer]

sp ock

genuinely the guy of all time. i purposefully saved this for last so i could think about it more and i still don't think i'm ready so here i go.

favorite thing about them

to quote kirk "of all the souls i've met in my travels, his was the most human." i love how proud he is of his vulcan heritage and how he tries to honor them but i also love the way he just cannot fight off his humanity. and the way he eventually learns to accept that part of himself as well, become not two split halves but rather one whole complete and complex person. he can have a moral code governed by logic and see the world through a lens of science while also having passion for the arts, having capacity for empathy, knowing when to take a different approach. like THE guy of all time genuinely

least favorite thing about them

that he doesn't jump on kirk's bones sooner!!!!

no i'm kidding mostly uhh i mean we could go into all of the ways this little guy is messed up like he is repressed he is contradictory he is too mean he is loyal to the rules to a fault. but also most of these things eventually change or shift? so by the end of his arc those things don't really stick. i guess i wish he would open up to more people other than just kirk and occasionally bones, i do wish i could see his other friendships thriving

favorite line

god he has so many good lines.....like both spirk related ones that make me insane but also regular lines from the show he has so many bangers. okay i'm going with this one:

"after a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. it is not logical, but it is often true." like okay go off king of gay yearning. he walked so tumblr could run

honorable mentions: "JIM!!!" and "they are not the hell your whales."

brOTP

him and uhura <3 any time i see fanart of them hanging out im like YEAH!!!!!

OTP

you are my superior officer. you are also my friend. i have been and always shall be yours.

nOTP

him and uhura </3 KELVIN TIMELINE I AM LOOKING DIRECTLY AT YOU

random headcanon

i have a hc that kirk was like involved in theater in starfleet academy somehow. i don't know if they met at the academy but if they did i think spock would go to his shows

unpopular opinion

i don't think we should be making more spocks like i'm sure these new shows are good but this man already has so much lore and has been made and remade so many times like he has 15 versions of himself WITHIN himself and none of them really feel the same or capture the original. like just leave him be lol

song i associate with them

the first song i thought of was cold, cold man by saint motel. it's basically about someone who does not show many grand or outward gestures of affection but is assuring their lover that they are the only thing that matters.

favorite picture of them

this one

[image ID: spock slunched over on a table, head on his hands, near tears.]

send me a tos or tng character!

[cerealmonster15]

Caycay and juice and jade for character bingo? :3

immediately forgot i reblogged the bingo and got jumpscared by my inbox showing me NUMBERS!!!

btw im taking 'i am so normal about them' to be a LIE and also i am using SQUEAK GRASP as like. positive. like i love this blorbo im thinking about this blorbo SO INTENSELY. GRIPPING IN MY MIND.

anyway caycay:

I LOVE HIMMMMM ok im kinda stretching it when i say everyone else is wrong about them bc jklfdjsf i dont actually think that so extremely. HOWEVER. i have a different way of how i interpret cater's like, Implied Sullen Side compared to a lot of the fandom i think. i also dont really go with the popular headcanon that he was the heartslabyul housewarden before riddle but i mean, i could be wrong, and there's nothing wrong w/differing headcanons on things like that. BUT more importantly i will DIE on the hill that CATER AND RIDDLE ARE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i do NOT like and subscribe to the depictions in fandom of cater and riddle not being friends!!!! or that cater and riddle have tension with both being trey's besties!!!! your honor the three of them are BUDDIES they CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER and while i know cater puts on a bit of a sunshine act i dont think hes 100% a complete and total faker with no love in his heart!!!

and by fandom being mean i just mean that theres a lot of angst about him that makes me sad jfklsdjfsdjfksdj my baby :( but also playing w/ angst can be fun so that's not a bad thing!!!

so close to bingo. if he were just a Little More Of A Beast. i love his vibe, hes cool skater boy with fun hair thats my favorite color [i wore my hair similarly during pandemic height / pre vaccine time before i could get it cut fjkldsjf]. hes just so [spins the salad spinner rapidly]!!!

ok i probably wont talk as much about most of the other blorbos LOL now JUICE:

this made me realize i dont think i have headcanons for baby boy juice?? aus? yea. ships? hell yea. but headcanons? i dunno i just like him as hes presented to me LOL jksfldjs god!!! hes one of THE blorbos in twst i love him soooooooo much. hes just a little guy :) a guy who goes off the walls sometimes and it's VERY silly!!

jade:

HES A FUNNY LITTLE WEIRDO!!!!!!!!! a freak who i think is not unleashed but is still a menace to society, somehow. it makes sense in my mind 😌 i very much enjoy when he is on screen interacting with other characters and Causing Situations, but he is the blorbo i more associate with YOU + the friend i got into twst with originally. you guys' blorbo that i borrow for sillies sometimes 😌

EDIT ALSO the fish boys in general should be bullied more 😌 [affectionate] [kind of] [TURN THE TABLES ON JADE for funsies and sillies <3]

[x]

[the-kipsabian]

what's your favourite video game? what's your favourite movie? what's your favourite chips dip?

either metal gear solid or metal gear solid 3. both of these games have shaped me in the sense i tell stories tbh and have been long time faves since forever ago tbh

detective pikachu, im pretty sure. i have so many good associations with that movie and its just. so hecking good. honorable mention to shaun of the dead cause i really had to think if its my favorite still but i honestly think detective pikachu just takes it now lol

listen, judge me all you want, but im not a dip person. like, at all. i eat my chips plain and salty, just like i am myself lol (i also dont really do any special chip flavors im a basic bitch through and through lol)