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doux-ciel · 6 years

Text

Gift Of Life. Hoping for a Miracle

Soundtrack: 🎵 🎵 🎵

Character Aesthetics: 🔥 🔥 🔥

Tagged: @youngdumbxlit @cvlms @jess---writes @jadeswritinggarden @bambimattel @requiemdelune @blackandwhitesunsets @bzrtales @viviscreams @thewriterkatie @erinisawriter @seraphilth @godxblooded

*Im going to have a link to my post in which it asks if you want to be tagged in my WIP’S*

If so click here -> ✨ ✨ ✨

|Trigger Warning| Book does contain talk of death, Depression, Eating Disorders, Angst, Emotionally heavy topics.

⚠⚠ YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! ⚠⚠

“Mom why is the sky blue?”

I reply to my curious 8 year old daughter who was laying in the frosty grass of my backyard; her striped rainbow hat had fallen beside her face. “I don't know”

“Mom why is the grass green?” She asks as she plucks a blade of grass, her fingers melting the icy substance.

She never runs out of questions to ask. I place my book down on the end table that was near the patio chair. “I don't know sweetie”

“Mom why can't I have a sister or a brother?”

“That I definitely don't know” I chuckle a little while bringing my hot tea to my lips, taking a sip. Counting the calories in my head, I close my eyes just for a moment to enjoy this feeling; knowing soon it would be over. I place my mug down focusing my attention on my 4’1 fair skinned daughter who had jumped up from the icy ground and ran over to me. “You don't love all the attention I’m giving you?”

While in my arms she answered. “Attention is for animals at the zoo, Lindsey at school her mom just had a baby…..I want a baby too”

I take my cold hands placing them on her rosy cheeks, bringing her face closer to mines giving each other Eskimo kisses. “I do too darling” She giggles and backs away from me, taking a seat next to me on the patio chair. She grabs her mug, bringing the now cool hot chocolate to her lips.

We both turn our heads over to the fence that encompasses our backyard when we hear a familiar voice. My mother-in-laws voice fills my ears; Natasia holds her hands out and crouches down to be at the same level with Adalynn who was currently running to her grandmother. “Hey there's my little sweet cake”

“Grandma!!” Adalynn exclaims, her short arms wrap around the elderly woman’s neck.

Natasia lifts up Adalynn while picking up her scarf that had fallen from their previous encounter. “Are you ready for ice skating today?”

Adalynn nods, now placing her head on Natasia’s neck. “Yes I'm ready”

I see Natasia’s eyes shift over to me, she has a look of disapproval. I then see her nutmeg colored eyes observe Adalynn’s attire, seeing as how she is in her knit grey leggings, a yellow coat and her uggs. Basically what Natasia is saying that she is not in her practice uniform. Lowering my head as my red hair falls into my face. I then reach up to where my book lay grabbing it, the title read Bound Before The Morrow. “Well you don't look ready? Where's your skates and your gloves?”

Natasia sets Adalynn down on the ground, “There in the library, I have to go find them!! Can you help?”

Natasia grabs Adalynn’s hand, they both start their trek to my home library. As they walk past me, Natasia places her hand on my shoulder squeezing her nails which are digging into my skin. “Off to the library we go!!”

I flinch a little, waiting for the pain to subside my mind would often think about having more children. Giving my husband a boy or another girl, giving Adalynn someone to play with, giving her someone to grow up with.

I want to have a real family.

Speaking of my husband I see his name pop up on my phone screen, his profile picture is of him when we were on our vacation to the Maldives. I immediately answer; putting the book in my hand down. I bring my Iphone XIX up to my ear, I hear his low-toned voice which makes me smile.

“Hey my love”

I rise up from the patio chair, grabbing my now empty mug and Adalynn’s half full mug; gathering the piece of literature. While balancing my phone in between my shoulder and ear; I walk into the kitchen which was seconds away from my backdoor.“Hi Nathaniel, I can't wait for you to come home” Placing the mugs in the warm soapy water, and with my other hand I place the book down on my gray marble counter tops.

Nathaniel sighs, I know he has had a ton of meetings today, he must be exhausted. “I can't wait to come home either...I'm so ready to-”

“Get in bed?” I ask.

“Yes definitely” He answers.

“And doing what in bed?” I ask, as I take off my jacket my hands brush against my nipples which were now erect from just the sound of his voice. I knew I needed him in me now.

“Sleeping, I'm so drained from today's meetings” I roll my eyes as I rest my elbows by the edge of the sink.

Turning on the faucet, letting the cold water run and scooping some up with my free hand; splashing it on my face. I know my face was red like a strawberry as I blushed with embarrassment. “Well I'm ovulating and I just thought-”

Nathaniel quickly apologizes “I'm so sorry…..your right, but wait don't you have that appointment today? To check to see if everything is working properly?”

That last comment caught me off guard, I scoff shutting the water off, my voice gets higher with every word. “Are you trying to say something Nathaniel?”

“What are you talking about?” Nathaniel asks, his voice getting defense.

“Are you calling me defected or something?”

I don’t hear anything on the other end for a good 30 seconds before I hear his usual blunt voice louder than normal. “Look I never said that...I'm just saying we have been trying for a couple of months now and nothing is happening”

I was getting agitated by the minute, and to think I was happy when he first called me just ten minutes earlier. “Yeah well maybe there's something wrong with you? Did you ever think about that?!”

He clears throat his voice is clear and firm, “Charlotte just go to the doctor and listen to what they are saying...they know what they are doing, just let them figure this out.”

I take a deep breath, practicing the exercises my therapist taught me when I’m feeling stressed. My words come out in a more calm tone. “I know it's just hard not knowing”

I can tell he was smiling through the phone, “Hey your still perfect to me” He softly says to me.

I roll my eyes while walking over to the living room placing my butt on the cushion first while letting gravity lead the rest of my body to fall. I snicker, “You've gotten better at dodging the situation.”

I then earn a chuckle from my husband, “I just try not to think about it...so are you finishing up your book?”

I examine a piece of loose cloth on my sweater while thinking about my newest romance novel, that I still have yet to complete. “Yeah, Bloomsbury said I have to turn it in by next week so I'll be cramming in the last few chapters like every night”

“You can do it” I appreciate the encouraging words from him but I already know he isn’t that interested in my writing. He barely wants to hear my ideas when its just us two together in the office sometimes. I know I supported him when he was starting up his computer software company, but its like he can’t give me that type of support. I already hear it from his mother everyday about how I’m not contributing to the household and how my job isn’t ideal for our lifestyle but I think Nathaniel and I are well off. Sometimes too well off, but I’m grateful for the life my husband has provided for me and I wouldn’t ever want to change it.

“Thank you” I reply.

He was now sounding concerned, “Did you eat today?”

I look over at the breakfast he made me this morning, some pancakes, eggs, with some sausage and a glass of orange juice. I can feel the plate staring at me; taunting me almost.

I lie. “Yes why?”

“You know how you get Charlotte” His voice changes to a more cheery tone. “How's my little blessing doing? Does she miss papa?”

A smile appears on my face thinking about how close they have gotten over the years. Old memories flood in when we first brought her home with us, when she wouldn’t let anybody else hug her but Nathaniel. That little girl has brought so much life to both of our lives. “She sure does”

“I want to talk to her”

My eyes search around the room until I hear Adalynn’s whines coming from the bathroom upstairs, I’m thinking Natasia is trying to do her hair. Its safe to say Adalynn despises getting her hair touched at all, if it weren’t for me doing her hair at night while she was asleep her hair would look like a birds nest. “She's getting ready for ice skating lessons”

I hear some shuffling of some papers on the other end of the line. “Who's taking her?”

“Well your mother of course” I answer matter of factly.

“Is Wallace going with her?” he asks referring to Natasia’s life partner as she likes to call. I just think she didn't want to date someone who was halfway to their deathbed.

I shake my head, trying to remember the man's work hours, “No I don't think so, why would he go with her?”

He clicks his tongue, he voice is now showing a hint of annoyance, “He follows my mom everywhere when he's not at work, he's like a lost puppy looking for a bone”

I try and reason with him, in no way am I condoning this relationship but its his mother's life. “He likes her company, I mean they are together”

I can see his face now, he probably has his head buried in his hands, the vein on his forehead is probably protruding. His voice sharp on the subject at hand. “I don't even know why mom would get with that bast-”

“Hey, just calm down...now it's been years since your father died Nathaniel, I think she felt it was time for her to move on” I bring my hand up to my face sliding it across from my eyebrows to my right cheek. Slightly annoyed by his whole tone changing just by the sound of a another mans name. If I being honest I think Nathaniel just doesn’t want his mother to be happy with anyone else.

“With a guy 30 years younger than her?”

“Love is love”

I hear a foreign voice on his end of the line call out to him, he pauses for minute listening to what the person had to say. He grumbles profanities before saying, “Anyways I have to go, tell Adalynn I said good luck at practice today, and for you good luck with the appointment.”

I place my hand on my stomach, sending a little prayer up to the universe asking to help me. “Love you”

“Love you to pieces.” He replies back, I then hear the three beeps letting me know the call has ended.

I bring my feet down to the multicolored carpet that lay in my very moody/dark living room. Walking over to the kitchen where my plate of food lay, I look at how the syrup has settled into the fried flour. How the eggs have melted cheese in them, and how the sausage is glistening with the fatty oils that came from the pan.

It makes me sick to even think about.

Without hesitation I place the food in the garbage can, while taking a few minutes of my time to tidy up the kitchen.

Just after I had finished putting all the wet dishes on the drying rack; I see my phone buzz. I see the notification from an unknown number. I tap the message, reading the screen over and over hoping it would change. Hoping she would somehow disappear from my life forever.

¤ ¤ ¤

While Natasia was taking Adalynn to practice I had to catch my appointment with Dr. Stone. She has been my doctor for years, even before I wanted to have children. I was sitting in her office waiting for her to come back with my test results we had previously did in the summer, approximately about 2 months before today’s date. Her mahogany tinted skin came into view, her eyes were looking down at my folder, she didn’t express any emotion at all. Sitting down across from me; her silver and glass office desk is the only barrier between us two. “Nothing is 100% set in stone but things aren't looking good Charlotte...the tests came back, we already know that you had some problems in your past.”

I purse my lips, crossing my arms over my body, “Problems that I'm trying to fix.”

She sets my folder aside, she swallows her lips; looking me in my eyes she asks. “Have you been making yourself-”

Why won’t she let this subject go? Can’t she see that I’m trying to do better for not only my health but the health of my womb. I notice my right eye start to twitch while my left leg start to move side to side. “No...I told you I'm trying to fix things”

Pursing her own plump lips she looks at my body language, her eyes focus back on her desk. “I know I'm just making sure”

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. I’m starting to get anxious about the silence in the room, with only the clock ticking. I straighten up in the chair I’m currently sitting in; peering over to look at my folder I try and make out what all of this means. Placing my chewed fingernails on the edge of the desk I ask, “Ok so what is it?”

Her eyes meet mines, a warm smile appears on her face making me feel much better about my current condition, but boy was I wrong. “You seem to be ovulating regularly but we are not in the safe zone, with the things your body has been through with your other miscarriages plus your eating disorder I don't know if your even going to able to carry another baby full term.”

That isn’t what I wanted to hear at all.I sit back in my chair, placing my index finger on my temple and my thumb on my cheekbone, my voice is now grim “Do you think I’ll ever be able to experience motherhood to the full extent?”

“Charlotte you’re already a mother” Dr. Stone reassures me, reaching her hand across the desk; motioning her fingers telling me to grab a hold of her hand for comfort. Even though it seems sometimes she has a stone heart, it feels like something or someone is always chipping away at it. Never married, no children, her life seems more miserable than mines. But she had told me previously she lives a happy and well content life, a life that is worth living.

Grabbing onto her hand I feel my nose get hot, my top lip starts to quiver, I can feel myself start to crumble in front of her. “Yes I know that but, experiencing the baby kick and the belly…..the maternity clothes” My head lowers having my thick head of hair conceal my face, I notice the tears falling down like raindrops onto her desk. I repeatedly apologize, while taking my sweater and trying my best to wipe it away.

Dr. Stone squeezes my hand and in a soft but comforting voice she says, “Charlotte look….I know it’s hard. But you have to realize there are other options for you….you could try adopting”

I shake my head, quickly retracting my hand back away from hers; I take the sleeve of my sweater to wipe my face. Again that’s not what I was wanting to hear, maybe it was childish of me to not face reality but I wasn’t in the right mental space to accept that something is really wrong with me. I rise up from my seated position, “Are we done here?”

I could see Dr. Stone was taken aback by my actions just a few seconds prior, but that didn't; stop her from containing a level of professionalism. She grabs a pen from inside her desk, “Yes, just let me sign your paperwork and give you your prescription.”

When I walk into the lobby of the clinic I wait in line for my name to be called to set up another appointment with Dr. Stone in the next couple of months. As I’m waiting I see a woman who looks middle aged, carrying a small infant. I peer down, her saddle brown diaper bag and I see a large text book, in which it read: The Visual Display of Quantitative Information. It looks as though she is getting her Ph.D. I then settle my eyes on the warm olive toned baby. The baby could be 5 months...6? I focus my attention back on the mother, I wonder how life for her is like, is it hard? Trying to be in school while also raising a child? I wonder if she too had complications conceiving and suddenly she fell pregnant? Or If she’s just fertile and has 6 kids at home, either way I'm jealous.

Why can’t I just conceive? I can feel the tears coming, I start to sniffle the mucus that was wanting to run all down my nose. A kind young woman noticing me grabs me some tissue from her purse, I gladly took them. After a short while of being in my own head my name finally got called.

I had just gotten in my 2026 Honda C-RV, with my seat belt on but; I didn’t put my left foot on the brake to push the button to start the car. Instead I turn my back to look at the 2nd row of my sports utility vehicle; looking at the back two seats. Seeing Adalynn’s booster seat brings back memories of when Nathaniel and I first brought it. The countless questions he would ask when she first started riding with us.

“Are you comfortable Adalynn?”

“Is it too high Adalynn?”

I then remember just a short time after she had gotten comfortable with us, Nathaniel and I were taking a trip to the market. Adalynn was in a deep slumber, we could see her lips slightly parted hearing her small snores.

In the driver's seat, he takes his seat belt off turning to me while I was trying to get the shopping list together, “You think you want another?”

I mush my eyebrows together confused as to what he was asking me. “Another child?”

He nods, grabbing my hand, “Of course another child...but this time I want you to carry mines”

I look away not wanting to discourage him but I know with the previous miscarriages it would be damn near impossible.

As my electric blue eyes scan the outside world, bringing me back to the present.

Through my back window I notice a butterfly; swiftly moving against the wind its beautiful and articulate details to its wings had me memorized. The way tiny insect was able to push through and keep on going.

Butterflies mean hope, it could mean something else to others but to me it means I have to to keep hope alive, I can’t give up. In the back of my mind I knew I couldn’t bring myself to arrive home and present my husband with horrible news.

Not again at least.

I wanted to give him another child but I needed to weigh my options again, I needed to make a decision on what I was going to do. To have that hope that I had a few minutes ago; I decide to call the only person I know who could help me in this situation. Pressing my left foot on the brake I push the button to start my vehicle.

Taking my phone and grabbing my charger cord connecting it to car; I press the third contact number down. After hearing the 4th ring she finally answers, Her honeyed voice fills up my car. “Hi”

I look in the rear view mirror waiting to see if any cars were coming behind me. When I don't see anyone I proceed to change my gear to reverse, “How are you doing? Mother”

Natasia answers, “I'm doing well your little firecracker is keeping me on my toes, I can't wait for another.”

My foot presses on the break suddenly my body jerks forwards. Taking a couple of shallow breaths I look back in my rear view mirror seeing a car almost run into me. I take my hand putting it up; mouthing the words ‘I'm sorry’ to the husband who is currently trying to get his wife into clinic that I was just coming out of. I clear my throat, “I don't think that's going to happen”

“What? What do you mean?”

As I turn out the parking lot and onto the main road I press the button to let the seat heaters turn on, I turn the volume up a bit higher. “The doctor told me that she doesn't think I'm able to carry a baby to full term”

Natasia scoffs, “Oh that's preposterous! That's just not true” I hear Adalynn in the background naming her favorite animals.

Stopping at the red light I raise my eyebrows while nodding my head, “I'm telling you...it is”

I hear her voice get quiet, “What about adoption?”

I press the gas pedal when the light turns green, my car hits a pothole in the road sending me and my car up off the asphalt for a second. I twist my lips, “Adoption again? We had to wait years to get Adalynn and I don't think I can't wait that long again...we just got her three years ago, I want a baby. A baby that I can hold and nurture, a baby that knows I'm its mommy.”

“Well you know Rachel?” Natasia asks me.

I remember fondly of the now mother 5, her husband was a aerospace engineer while she was a real estate agent. Her eldest Destiny would play with Adalynn sometimes after school. “Yeah the one that had the triplets last fall?”

“Yeah her..well she was infertile and she got some help.”

Now I’m intrigued I always thought she had the triplets naturally, although I was a little skeptical on why she would always be in her minivan covering her stomach while picking up her girls. “Help? What do you mean?”

“I mean she hired a surrogate”

I was astonished, I didn’t know how to react. I turn on the corner of Layfette and Wilbur Road. “Is that illegal?”

Natasia chuckles, “Oh no darling never...I'll tell you what? I'll set you up an appointment at the place, it's called Gifting Miracles”

Thinking about what she was saying still in my heart I thought about that butterfly. I still want to keep trying but maybe sitting back and letting someone else do the work for me isn't so bad right?

I mean the saying goes mom knows best.

I smooth out my tan slacks and button the top of my jade green blouse, walking into the Ice Skating Rink for my interview. As I enter I’m greeted with a plethora of hellos and good afternoons from the parents waiting for their children to go onto the ice. I see to my left and right a sitting area, most of the kids are in their long sleeved shirts either playing with one another or on a tablet.

I look straight ahead from the front door I see the ice rink, a coltish young brunette haired woman shouts out to the kids that were currently on the ice. All the girls huddle around to watch as she brings her right hand around her body; her arms moving slowly. “Ok girls now we are going to bring our right hand around and start slowly skating backwards”

I then get interrupted by my name being called. “Yesenia Cervantes?”

Not knowing where the sound came from I turn my head to my right, I don’t see anything but a coffee stand. When I turn to my left, in the farther left hand side of the room I see an elderly woman. Looking to be late 60’s her dainty body walks over to me, giving me a grin. I put my hand out to shake hers, “I called earlier asking about any volunteer opportunities and a lady named Harlow on the phone said I should come in person to speak with someone”

I can see everyone turning to look at me, the mothers in the lobby whisper to themselves, probably wondering how a woman of my ethnicity can skate on the ice. She motions me with her hands to follow her in the clear glass office space. “Well that’s my assistant but she’s not in right now but I'm happy you stopped by...I'm Daisy”

After we got settled into our seats, I quickly put my phone on silent. Ms. Daisy is sitting in the cherry red office chair reading my references out loud, she pauses when she gets to my education. She purses her lips, “So what college?” she asks as she reaches on her desk for her reading glasses, placing them on her face.

I proudly say, “University Of Wisconsin-Madison...Junior”

She nods while placing my information down she grabs a manila folder from her filing cabinet, licking her finger to separate the pages sitting back down. “Ok, well I'm just going to ask you a few questions-”

We both get interrupted by a freckled face red head child, her hair in a really neat bun. She runs to the desk where me and the older woman sat, placing her arms around the woman. “Ms. Daisy!!”

Ms. Daisy’s eyes light up when she sees the tiny human cling onto her scrawny limb.“Oh hey Adalynn!! How are you doing today?”

The young child with 2 teeth missing on the bottom row of her mouth showed a toothy grin. “I doing spec….spec-”

I finish her sentence, “Spectacular?”

Adalynn and her beautiful tawny brown eyes had to suppress the anger she had with a huff, her tiny lips form a pout as she points her index finger at me. “She wouldn’t let me finish but that’s what I was gonna say”

Again we were interrupted by an elderly woman, her jet black hair was slicked back into a tight bun just like the little girl who ran in here 3 minutes ago. Unbidden, her gaze rose to the scene before her, staring at me. Her face contorted into a mask of hatred as her lips formed a straight line. She slowly shifts her eyes glaring at Adalynn, “Adalynn you know you shouldn't be going in people's offices unannounced...oh I'm sorry were we interrupting something?”

“Well I'm with a potential volunteer” I explained.

“Oh you skate?” She questions, raising her eyebrow. Bending down to Adalynn’s level she whispers something in her ear. Whatever it was; she must’ve been wanting to punish the child because a few seconds later Adalynn was away from Ms. Daisy and her desk.

I nod my head, straightening up in my seat. “Yes ma’am I do”

Ms. Daisy then interrupts, “How many years?”

“4” I reply back, I think about all of the medals I have won over the years of skating. My mother taught me to love the ice when I was a little girl, I would spend hours outside. I would be standing at the bus stop waiting for the school bus when me and a couple of the other kids would use our shoes as ice skates just sliding around on the street. She spent her whole paycheck just to get me ice skates, it was because of her pushing me to do something I loved; I continued to pursue it throughout the years.

“Oh...wow that's a long time” Natasia stammered, blinking a few times and giving me a forced smile. She reaches for the child’s hand; once their hands were connected, her feet turn to the exit bringing Adalynn with her. “Come Adalynn we need to get you stretched and ready for your lesson”

Adalynn, who was currently trying to keep up with the pace of her grandmother turns her head and waves at Ms. Daisy. “Bye!!”

Ms. Daisy stands up and walks back over to the office door closing it, while walking back to her desk she shakes her head. Her eyes closed briefly as she whispers something to herself. She then looks in my direction. “Sorry we were interrupted….so you said 4 years?”

I nod “Yes that’s right”

“So about your previous experience…”

My mind goes elsewhere as I bite the inside of my cheek hoping this interview would soon be over but I could tell she was just getting started. I look up at the clock as I see the minute hand moving slowly around the case and past the various numbers.

This is going to be a long interview.

¤ ¤ ¤

Walking past the various buildings where all of the current students at UW were attending, I venture on to the common grounds of my campus. Spotting my group of friends who were currently stuffing their faces with the food from the cafe. The cold crisp air fills my lungs as I walk over to them.

Henry with his cigarette resting on his ear was going on one of his rants as usual, I give him a nod as I walk up to them taking a seat next to Nova. “Hanging out is dating, that's what dating is now”

My other friend Obasi chuckles, his eyes green like an emerald peered over at Nova. “Dating is sweat palms, hot thighs”

Violet who was currently eating a chicken salad, rolls her eyes at the two men. “You guys are crazy”

Henry continues “Couples are a dead concept, all meaningful social interactions are meaningful in a group” While fishing in his pocket for his lighter, Nova stood up grabbing it off the the icy ground where it lay for probably the whole time they were out here. She uses her thumb to roll the metal spark wheel; a flame rises up from the black lighter.

“Your always dropping that damn thing” She grumbles.

Kissing his teeth he grabs the cigarette behind his ear, putting the piece of tobacco up close to the flame. “Yesenia you think this is a date?”

I chuckle, seeing there was no money in my wallet I look over at the cafe and turn back around to face him. “You paying for my lunch?”

Exhaling the smoke he winks, placing his right hand on my thigh. “I don't know….am I gonna score later?”

I start to laugh out loud while pushing his hands which were covered in paint away from my leg. “What? This is only our first date!”

With the snow cleared from the sidewalk thanks to the city of Madison. Wesley and his hover board came rushing in, he was coming pretty fast and he lost his balance, his books/papers flew everywhere. After laying in the snow laughing at himself he jumps up, his knees now wet with snow from the fall. Nova and I help gather all of his papers as he grabs peanut butter crackers from an picnic table which happens to be near us, tearing the snack open he stuffs 2 crackers in his mouth, “Don't you just love college...free friends...free food, hell you even get a bed and all you have to do is go to a couple of classes and do some papers”

Violet while chipping at her nail polish gives Wesley a thumbs up, “It looks like your financial aid went through”

Giving Obasi a high-five he grabs his books from off the ground and sets them on table. “Damn right it did, full-ride baby”

This caught my attention, I never got a letter in mail about anything dealing with my financial aid yet. “Wait did everyone get theirs?”

I notice everyone’s eyes are on me, they all look dumbfounded by my comment, Nova speaks up, “Of course...papers went out like 2 weeks ago”

I let out a huff while reaching in my bag to get my phone out I start to text my mom to find out if there was anything in the mail for me. “What?”

Placing my free hand on my forehead I tuck my hair behind my ear, pinching my eyes shut. I know I filled the application out 1 month ago, I then start to get irritated with that fact that my mother wasn't replying fast enough. I go to my student email account not seeing any new messages I decide to find out what happening for myself. I know the financial office is still open, I tell everyone a quick goodbye when I sprint towards the building.

Once inside I’m met with a student who was working at the front desk, she told me to fill out the sign in sheet and wait for my name to be called. It was a numerous amount of people sitting or standing in the waiting room to also be called. I see a woman who looks middle aged, carrying a small infant in her lap. I smile at the tiny human, admiring its hazel eyes; the child babbles at me while reaching its hand out.

After about a hour of waiting and the room is damn near empty I hear my name be called. Looking up I see my financial adviser, we walk to his office and when he shuts the door he explains to me about how his office never received my application.

I place both hands on the desk gripping the sides while glaring down at him, “You can't just stop my aid, I'm graduating next year!”

“I'm sorry-”

I slam my hands on the desk, “You need to give me my money!! I'm not going to just sit here and let this happen to me just because some stupid idiot lost my application”

Shaking his head does his best to calm me down, grabbing me a water bottle from his mini fridge. Turning around to his filing cabinet he looks for my name but doesn't see anything, As he turns back around and faces me, his mouth curves into a frown. “Listen Yesenia I'm sure this will all work out the way it should...there must be some other way that you can pay for school”

I scoff taking a deep breath in and back out, taking my phone back out I start to check my messages I say lowly to myself, “Yeah right….only a miracle could make that happen.”

¤ ¤ ¤

I was placing the acrylic fake nail on my middle finger when I hear running from the outside of my dorm room door. I hear the little beep that occurs when someone is coming in. My hair in a messy ponytail I could feel a few tendrils that don't want to stay put fall onto my shoulders.

“I got a 911, girl what is going on?” Nova came running towards me, the her ROTC uniform still on.

I continued to press the fake nail on top of mine, with a frown etched on my face. “I might not be here for graduation”

Nova who took off her cover placing it on her side of the room walks back over to me, resting her chin on my head she asks, “What? Why?”

“My financial aid didn't kick in” I look up at her, almost on the verge of tears. “Now I have no idea how to pay for school”

“Eggs” Nova answered bluntly.

I take my right hand wiping away a non-existent tear, I sniffle a little before repeating what she just said to me. “Eggs?”

She nods taking her hand and placing it near my stomach, motioning around my lower half, “Yes like your eggs”

Now I understand what she’s talking about but I thought that was just myth. I press the acrylic nail hard on my nail making sure it's secure, I turn around in my swivel chair away from my desk. Quipped a brow as I look up at Nova, “People pay money for other people's eggs?”

Nova, stepping back from me; grips the edge of the chair rolling her neck replies, “Hell yeah…do you know how many people want babies?”

“So you basically sold kids?”

“Yesenia it's not human trafficking, they are just eggs” She continues. “The money is good plus the feeling you get after looking at the parents faces well that's even better

“Do you know a place?” I ask, I start to paint my nails.

“Yeah I do, but you could also do the other thing…” She trails off while walking into our bathroom I see her grabbing a few makeup remover wipes.

That grabs my attention,“What other thing?”

“Surrogacy”

I turn up my nose, “Like carrying someone else's baby?”

Nova walking out the bathroom changing out of her uniform, “You make more money doing that.”

I mumble while placing the nail polish brush back into the bottle, “I'll think about it”

Nova turns to me, “But if you want to know the place is called Gifting Miracles”

“Thanks” I rise up from the chair, my wet nail polish still on my hands I give Nova a quick air hug.

Rubbing my arm she offered a radiant smile, “Hey you know I got you girl”

Maybe carrying a baby wouldn't be so bad.

A/N: I know this was a really long first chapter but I just wanted this first chapter to be very informative on my different characters. I don’t exactly know when the next chapter of this will be up but I appreciate if ya’ll would be patient with me. Also Happy New year my lovely angels!!! I know 2019 will be filled with happiness and more opportunities coming your way!

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