#im just so tired and I was excited I thought Id be able to do college again and do it?? the way I wanted to

[bigothteddies]

HI GUYS I DIDN’T TAKE ANY PICTURES OR VIDEOS WHILE I WAS AT THE JUMPS TODAY BUT I DID LEARN HOW TO DO SUPERMANS SO I AM VERY EXCITED

[jackalopefreckles]

Yeahh idk this years been bad for me i was hoping it was gonna get better but it?? Doesn't look like it

[scatterbrainedbot]

I AM SPINNING I AM PACING I AM FULL ON FROLICKING IM SO EXCITED

@d1sc0rd1a THANK U FOR THESE TAGS

okayokayokayokay so pretty much all of these questions will be Officially Answered properly in the character design/intro pages im working on but also i am physically vibrating with excitement about the fact that you noticed all these details and i have very little self control so! lore dump time!!!

(minor tw for mentions of leos self-harm/self-destructive anxious behaviors and unhealthy coping skills)

- mikey does indeed have curly fur! i believe he would be considered a 'rex' rat (pictured on the left) for this trait? though the curls can be more easily seen on mice (pictured on the right). or, at least it seems that way. have not delved too deeply into the details of rodent genes and husbandry, but id assume its the same sort of mutation considering curly haired mice are also referred to as rex sometimes? either way hes a extra floofy bby 🧡

-as for raphie, unfortunately being more fluff and less shell than the average rapheal comes with its downsides. especially if you and your brothers occasionally encounter things like territorial dogs, hungry cats, or sewer crocodiles while exploring places ur dad said not supposed to go. (most of his scars will have more ninja related stories, but his ear i think got messed up from something very animal. probably around age 11 ish? old enough to sneak out from dads protection but young enough to not fully know how to handle himself alone against real danger. thankfully his ear injury looks worse than it actually is for the most part, as the damage was largely to the outer ear. his hearing wasnt super affected, except that he now has a bit of a harder time being able to track/pinpoint noises origins if its on his right side.)

-also yep! dons got some glasses that just clip/rest on the bridge of his nose! theyre mostly just for home use, as they do fall off if hes knocked around. in the field he has some goggles he tends to use (theyre helpful as they have multiple additional functions like heat-imaging, extra zoom/telescoping, and recording capabilities. but also theyll give him headaches if he wears them for too long without breaks). contacts are theoretically also an option but he absolutely hates the sensation of putting them in. so sometimes when hes tired he'll just not bother with either clips or goggles and just squint and struggle. leo hates when he does that lol.

-speaking of leo, he is def an anxious baby :) he has a few patches of fur missing on his hand cos he has the tendency to tug on it while hes thinking. he yanked and chewed on his own tail a lot when he was younger too, which is why when hes older he usually wears some wraps to cover the scars left from that behavior. he finds those scars specifically to be kinda embarrassing and shameful because they werent from any battle or life-lesson, just his own 'inability to control himself'. all of his brothers have repeatedly called him out on the fact that that is not a healthy way to think about his anxiety or mental health, but leo insists hes fine. hes kinda convinced himself that a proper warrior always has control over his own body* and his own thoughts, thus he should be able to just like willpower-brute-force his way into 'being better'. (this line of thinking pisses raph off so much he has to leave and go hit something)

Splinter also tries to talk him through some of that internalized guilt/shame/everything, but splinters very metaphorical, poetic, and indirect when it comes to talking about Big Things, which combined with how much leo gets caught in his own head, makes it kinda hard to gauge how much these talks actually help

*this is made extra fun considering leos also ftm trans, so he is faced with a body that fundamentally disobeys him perhaps more than the average rat-man.

-and im still going back and forth between a few species for splinter, but im leaning mostly towards an African Spurred Tortoise! they have these beautiful if kinda subtle geometric shell patterns and are the third largest species of tortoise in the world. the only thing that doesnt fit perfectly with Splints is that (allegedly) their lifespan in captivity is around 50ish years, whereas im p sure Tortoise Splinter is well over 75, probably closer to 90 when the boys are born and hes mutated into Old Man Papa.

but maybe hes just a particularly long lasting African Spurred Tortoise.

the Hamato family has taken very good care of him for many decades after all. :)

(well. until everything all fell apart, that is.....)

[redr0sewrites]

🥀2K Follower Event🥀

🥀A/n: hi everyone!!! i've finally made it to 2K followers and i am so soo soooo happy + excited!!! i never thought id make it this far and i am very excited to celebrate with all of you. in honor of me finally reaching this goal, ive created a prompt list below that u can all use to send in requests. thank u all again for helping me on this journey, ily all!!!

🥀How it Works:

send in a request with the prompt number you would like, along with the character(s) you would like me to write it for and whether or not you want the fic to be nsfw/sfw

if you want any additional information on the reader to be included (gender, race, fashion, or any other descriptors) please include those w the request as well

up to 3 characters per request, as i want to realistically be able to finish them all without burning out

prompts may be used twice, but not for the same character. multiple characters may be used for the same prompt but a singular character can not be reused for that prompt.

i will be accepting requests until the event closes, and i will update this post once that happens

if a request goes against my rules and guidelines on my pinned masterpost, the request will simply not be written

i will work on requests chronologically, so please be patient.

🥀Request Format Examples:

hi! can i request prompt #28 with rengoku and a mtf!reader? i'd like the fic to be sfw! tysm and have a great day!

heyy can u write prompt #7 with aaravos and make it nsfw? thx!

can i request prompt #33 (sfw) with jayroy (jason todd and roy harper) x masc!reader? thankss!

🥀Prompts:

"you can't just show up like this! are you hurt?"

"where are you?"

"somebody is in loooveee!!"

"of course they don't like me, that's ridiculous!... did they say anything to you about me?"

"i don't like you- i love you."

"its so cold without you."

"i guess im just disappointed."

"did you hurt them?"

"i can't stand them, their stupid smile and their stupid laugh and their stupid crooked teeth- oh."

"why are your hands so cold?!"

"ive never felt like this before.."

"because i love you! i've loved you since the moment i saw you, i just can't take it anymore. i want you to be with me!"

"i wasted so much time chasing after them, and for what?"

"do you even like me?" "i love you-" "thats not what i asked. sure, you love me, but do you even like me as a person?"

"it feels- it feels good.."

"don't be shy, darling"

"i wish you saw yourself the way that i see you."

"i never hated you!"

"are you mad at me?"

"i'm just so sick of trying to be something im not. i hope you can forgive me."

"please don't cry, shh, your okay."

"i want you, no one else."

"do you trust me?"

"ive never been touched there.."

"i want you inside me/i want to be inside you"

"you taste so sweet.."

"why can't you see that i love you?"

"is that my shirt your wearing?"

"aww, are you stuck baby?"

"i thought i lost you again"

"our baby would be so cute..."

"you're so pretty like this.."

"i love you." "you're drunk, you dont- you don't mean that.."

"i hate how easy it is for me to love you again."

"are you.. scared of me?"

"aw, don't cry prince/ss"

"i need to stay awake, but i'm just so tired... can you stay? please?"

"i'm just going to end up hurting you-" "i know you'd never hurt me"

"would it be embarrassing if i said i missed you?"

"fuck- feel me all up in your guts, baby?"

"stay still, this will only hurt for a second, jus' relax for me, kay?"

"i know you can take it, just breathe"

"i need you so bad.. it hurts-"

"do you wanna join, or are you just gonna keep watching?"

"no one else will get to see me like this, i can promise you that"

"come closer, i need you"

"you look absolutely stunning like this"

"i'm sorry i wasn't there before, but i'm here now, and i always will be"

"i can't get up with you laying on top of me!"

"shit." "what?" "so, uh, theres only one bed.."

most of these i made up myself by just imagining random fanfic scenarios, but a few were ideas from friends, so credit to them! again, thank you all so much for supporting me and for helping me get this far ♥️♥️♥️

[jjtheresidentbaby]

id love a ficlet with little!sam and cg!dean (s1) with the prompt: A making sure to take care of B if they sometimes forget to do important stuff; eat, sleep, drink water, not overwork themselves!

im not entirely sure what age range sam would be when regressed so do whatever feels right!!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cooler in the backseat ⋆ﾟ⊹ ➢ event masterlist

|| dean winchester & sam winchester | for @bebbie-bilinski

a/n: this kinda just focused on the eating/drinking part of the prompt but I hope you enjoy

warnings: set season 1, pet names, mentions of pre-canon

-

Dean’s always taken care of Sam, they both know it and have never questioned it, but it seems a bit more obvious now. Ever since that first night where Sam had slipped after a hunt and clung onto Dean, his brothers been more insistent about taking care of Sam.

He’s stopped complaining about Sam’s favoring for healthier foods of salads and fruits, instead he invested in a cooler for the back of the Impala and keeps a few containers of pre-cut fruit in it. There’s other items stowed away in the small cooler: water bottles, juice boxes, dressings for salads, sauces for fries or burgers, just small things for the hours they spend on the road. Dean got a box to put next to the cooler that holds an assortment of small bags of chips and cookies, some granola bars and a small stash of candy, he went all out.

To be honest Dean didn’t mean to get so much supplies or fill up Baby’s backseat like that, it just happened. Sam had been cleaning up their motel room while Dean went to the store and suddenly he had a full shopping cart and a million grocery bags. The cashier even mentioned his haul, commenting that his kid must love him for getting so many snacks, Dean smiled at the comment and didn’t feel the need to correct her.

The more they drive around and get used to having the stash ready at hand the more Dean’s glad he made it. It’s easy, and probably a little cheaper now that they aren’t stopping every so often to go into a diner or drive through. Sam seems to like it, he gets excited to walk around the grocery store holding Deans hand and pointing to what he thinks they should get. It works well for them.

“You thirsty Sammy?” There’s a long stretch of empty road in front of Dean, the heat of Texas thankfully hasn’t set in this early in the morning, but he knows he should probably get Sam to start drinking something now. Avoiding a headache because of dehydration while in the midst of a heat wave would be best.

“Tired.” Sam groans but it holds no annoyance and Dean hums along. They’ve been driving all night and while Sam’s nodded off a few times, they could both use a real bed.

“I know Bud, we’re gonna stop soon.” There should be a town coming up that they’ll hopefully be able to find a motel in.

“Think you can drink something for me?” He glances at Sam’s curled up figure, tucked into a small ball against the impalas door with a tired look in his eyes. He’s definitely regressed, that much is obvious to Dean, he can’t pinpoint if he woke up little or has been slowly slipping into his headspace the longer he’s half-awake. Not that it matters all that much, either way Dean knows he’s now in charge of making decisions about what Sam needs, including getting Sam to drink something.

“Here, take a few sips for me.” Dean leans back in his seat to reach and grab one of the juice boxes that sit stacked in the cooler, they just restocked so it’s pretty easy to grab while he’s driving. Sam takes the juice but only stares down at it, a perplexed crinkle in his brow that tells Dean he’s regressed smaller than Dean had originally thought.

“Need help with that?” He chuckles lightly at Sam’s firm nod before the juice box is held out for Dean.

Dean thinks he’s mastered opening snacks and juice boxes while driving by now, even before Sam went off to Stanford they’d drive around to research at library’s and Sam always had some snack that he needed opening. Part of Dean wonders if his brother regressed back then, Sam’s talked briefly about his regression mostly being involuntarily, maybe that’s why he couldn’t get things open so often back then.

“There we go, you don’t have to finish it but sip at it.” Sam would chug it if Dean didn’t specify what was expected.

Growing up with John as a parent has left some scars behind for both boys but Sam’s regression really brings them out. He’s quick to do what’s asked, only wanting to please, to make Dean happy, to keep the peace despite there being no threat of chaos anymore. It makes Deans chest tight when he thinks about it too long, and he knows he’ll be extra cautious about arguments when they do end up finding John.

“Is it good?” A smile tugs on Deans lips when Sam nods with a content hum. He looks a little more awake now, already pointing towards the radio which Dean happily complies on turning on. One of the cassettes Dean has starts to play and Sam taps his fingers along his thigh with the beat, just like Dean taps against the steering wheel, it fills Dean with pride. He’ll always watch out for his baby brother, he thinks Sam knows it.

[zipperrants]

ZIPPER ITS VIVIAN HERE

i would ask literally anyone else but i feel pretty comfortable w you already cuz we just reblog and talk about a lotta shit so yk

okay so basically i have no idea whats going on bc all my attempts to shift get me REALLY close but i just can't seem to get there and it feels like im missing something?? i know that TECHNICALLY I'm not missing anything but i can't get that in my head and idk everytime i try i get to a similar stage, like SOOO CLOSE but i still wake up here

idk what to do, basically

sorry its just that you're one of the few people i know more or less personally who have shifted so yeah

thanks <33 (@vivian-shiftss)

First Hi vivi second sorry i thought i answered this but aparently I didn't so what I think is maybe youre possibly getting into your head a little? When I shifted i was getting really close and then wouldn't be able to get there because I was scared and excited so id talk myself out of shifting without realizing it. I think the best way for me personally idk if it will work for you but for me what worked was deciding "okay even if it is just a mini shift it is still a shift and we can work from there. i know this may not help but i am tired and i have to be up early tomorrow but I will try to be better at answering asks (no promises though)

[petscrub]

i’ve been very slowly cutting things out of my life. i kinda feel bare right now in the sense that im very lonely and stagnant, not much going on, but im still open to vulnerability, change, and creation. i keep thinking about my future lately. i was doing pretty good at living in the moment but i have this creeping feeling that i need to figure some stuff out... 

i’m not really sure about music anymore. i find it enjoyable to make. im proud of myself for what ive done, even if it is kinda shitty. ive heard myself grow musically and vocally over the past year. and im like this with painting as well. ive seen that ive grown a bit, but i still find what i make pretty mediocre. and im fair with myself, i realize ive only been doing these things for a very short amount of time. 

the thing about painting is that with the process, its not something i always enjoy. sometimes i get the urge to start and then i do it and im like im not even having fun. like the motivation is there but the joy is not. i dont really get it tbh. i decided maybe the way i was approaching it and the techniques i was using was probably what was making it so burdensome. i have yet to try my new approach (which is a much more messy and flowing style) because ive been so busy with work and ive had absolutely no days off. luckily this week i have a bunch of time and im excited to do some art. 

on the other hand, ive been writing my novel pretty steadily. almost everyday, but not quite. sometimes its a bit difficult to get into the mood but once i do i can write for awhile. especially on the train i find it pretty easy, and then i get to my stop and im disappointed because i wanted more time to write.

AND THEN, im working on fashion. i spread myself a little too thin, i think. the thing about fashion and writing is that they are both things that come very naturally to me. (unlike painting, and even less with music.) painting is something that i struggle with and i know i am decent at drawing, but when it comes to music, im completely in the dark with it. vocally, musically, structurally. i could of course teach myself, but i think the whole overwhelms me. its a lot to learn and do and while i feel excited about it at times i cant tell if its because i feel like i need to do it because of an identity thing, or if i genuinely really love it. most of the time i think i do it because im like, well wouldnt be really cool to be an musician and have an album and music videos and perform? and like right now, yeah, that does sound fun as hell. but occasionally i will feel indifferent. or like its just not for me.

but back to fashion, im enjoying it, as little work as ive put into it. i want more time to work on it because what i have done ive enjoyed. i think the thing that triggers all these thoughts in me so often is capitalism... in an ideal world id have all the time to do everything i want, and no pressure at all to feel like i need to do things because of money, success, etc... i could just do them because i love them. its extremely hard for me to see past the capitalist lens. i want to be able to tell if something is right for me or if im just coming about it wrong. over the years my ocd mind has been so plagued by this way of thinking that i feel like ive hardly gotten anything done at all. im really tired of it, honestly. the only good part is that ive crossed a bunch of stuff off my list of things that i thought were right for me but actually arent. like acting for example, ive fully decided that isnt for me, lol.

anyway. i just needed to share and i forgot my journal at home so i had no other place to put all this.

[gudakko]

head full many thoughts

got bored at work so i decided to once again explore the scale of my lack of a social life and it's honestly something amazing every time like objectively i mean

it's something so thorough and coordinated it almost feels orchestrated when it's all completely unintentional

i can't even point my finger at a one specific thing i could chalk it up to because it feels like a perfect collaboration like the stars aligned for it all to happen in the exact way it did, it honestly could be seen as a massive feat that i just can't take credit for even if i wanted

i somehow managed to go a full 24 years without managing to form a single relationship with a physical person and it's mindblowing

sure it just started as lamenting never having gotten to hold hands or kiss someone but it's so much more, it's never having had people to hang out with or like, genuinely physically talk to

[that last one im still reminded of every time im forced to talk to someone for work or whatever im simply not used to talking for more than a couple minutes so my voice just starts sounding weird and my throat easily gets tired]

it didn't help either that i never got to form an emotional attachment to my family so i couldn't even get a taste of that from any of them so it all just left me feeling.. stranded? im genuinely surprised none of this devolved into solipsism cause i could perfectly see that happen with these circumstances

it's not something i worried much about in the past but now that im realizing it it's hard not to think about it and be amazed at how i even got to the point of being functionally a neet with no irl contacts whatsoever

not having experienced close human contact all my life i thought at some point id just stop caring for it but instead i still crave it! yet at the same time it's such an unknown to me that it makes it equally frightening which still makes me pretty torn up about it

do i just resign or do i pursue it? both prospects scare me

if anything while i thought this absolute isolation could mess with my ability to feel certain things it doesn't seem it did, i still like people very much, love them even

i think still being able to feel love is the most reassuring one of all, i can still fall in love a little everyday with random passerbys, someone just being nice to me for no reason and friends, and im happy i can do all of that

i also get depressed, excited, disappointed etc. like other people so i know we're not that different and compatibility shouldn't be an impossibility but at the same time i look at them and feel like something fundamental is missing or just different and that makes me feel like ill never really get to touch them

i don't even know if it's something that can be "fixed" at this stage which just leaves me feeling like im going thru the motions at all times

im not really feeling sad about this right now it's just that lately i can't help but see Everyone go about their life doing things that should be basic common experiences so effortlessly and just wonder how the hell are they doing them like it's the weirdest thing ever to me when it's just

everyday life for people

i know i missed out on so so much already and it doesn't feel fair to say i want all of it now but i also know ill just keep missing out on things at this rate and i just kind of wish i didnt care for them but i do knowing i can't do them

im not a big fan of this pervasive alienation and if i could do everything all over id rather be absolutely clueless about everything but at least living a normal life

[gayboymanifesto]

homecoming!

first post!! ive never really blogged before so this is exciting but I really just want a place to scream into the ether and tal about whatever I want.... I used to keep a journal but id only write in it every three months or so and I haven't written in it in at least a year and I'm afraid to read it now.... anyway

as sophomore year has began for me I have been experiencing a lot of emotions (which isn't entirely out of the norm but at the same time it is) and I never really open up to people so I want somewhere to talk about things rather than bottling it up since im no longer in therapy

omfg grammarly is smothering my entire text page

anyway! homecoming was tonight and it was a disaster!!! well not entirely but I thoroughly did not enjoy it.... I got to the before at O's house* and I didn't want to talk to anyone when I got this like sharp pain in my abdomen and my first thought was like..... oh fuck I have appendicitis! which is so scary and annoying bc I'm going to ALL THINGS GO tomorrow and I wouldn't be able to attend if I had fucking appendicitis.. so I sat around for a little and then I sat in the car for a but, then my mom took me home where I had so much fucking diahreahha... like there was actual liquid coming out of my ass.. idk why but I think it was the combination of all the coffee nd shit I had and then the food plus my nerves. I made it back in time before we left and then we went to the dance where it was just so fucking bad like I hate dances so much I cant even rlly get into that but I had so many awkward interactions.

then we went to paiges and it was chill at first until people started getting drinks out, and HP wouldn't give me a drink... which is like whatever but she had said before that she would. I don't want to act like she was obligated too bc that. bitchy but in the moment it was annoying, I don't blame her it was js confusing... then I venmod O again, who I had decided before that I wasn't even speaking to for reasons that I said I would write about later... and she kept avoiding me which isn't out of character for her lately and then later when I told her again that I nemod her she acted like she hadnt ever told me she was gonna give me a drink and sent the money back at least. HR also told me she would give me a drink but she was SO FUCKING WEIRD ab it too like she always is. Anyway everybody at that party was being annoying as fuck and it was also just bad... and I know I'm not above these parties, I'm literally so irrelevant but I'm still aware of how ass that was.. I went home afterward I don't think anybody gaf. Im trying not to sound like super selfish or unaware of how dumb I sound rn but like I'm tired af and I'm just writing to express how I feel I'm not trying to say anyone in this case is morally in the wrong I'm just upset so shut the fuck up if future me is like omggg I was so annoying why was I complaining about that

I wish I had different friends but I know mine are the best I can do and that I'm lucky to have them and I like them all as people but most of them treat me like shit or a joke and I just don't want to deal with that

I just wish I was drunk idk I think ill be an alchoholic at some point idgafffff anything to not deal

*nts make a name list for reference

[tia-saharaaasstuff]

And sometimes

i do get sea sick of feeling the

High and low waves crashing of everyone outside

Maybe i can fix this,

Years of freezing,

they end up fleeting

After they practice their right to tell me who i am

This is not me..

why I need

to be one of the kind

Inner Stand in

the storms we come to realize

Only after our sadness takes off its angry disguise

Watching the peices fly

Musics so loud

Cant handle hearing you sigh

I hate you, I love you.

Bc i know what its like to feel denied

Thats all i knew.

Maybe id be safer if i let my light die,

I cant dissapoint if i dont have a voice that could lie.

But i stayed..quiet..with my inner riots

"Sometimes i just feel like only you understand."

Most of the time

i feel guilty,

for thinking that maybe i can find some peace,

being alone ,

I know most dont see a choice and i seem greedy

But im so tired.

Of worrying about how they damn me if i do

and Damn me if i dont .

So i wont be around waiting for you to decide

Whether you like me today or found a new bone.

They say , "Just when things went right, it doesnt mean they were always wrong."

So i left,

Convinced by a Love so perfect, nothing said

The one i used to proudly refuse,

Unconditonal it stood by

waiting for the moment

when it caught me in embrace after i jumped off this burning bed

Free will, hardest lesson i was taught

Forget it, do what you want

There is always a choice

Where most get caught

Am i wrong for feeling extra safe when the doors got three locks?

What I NEED has been yellimg at ME from

behind each broken dream

Slowly fading frozen in time

I left her behind

All her love,  its all mine.

She was only six,

She was only nine

self hate was a pain

I used to use to get me high

The way you talk to eachother

It didnt come natural,

it was taught

We wonder why we fought

Their battles

Little soldiers

All you wanted was to make beats with your rattles

Raised on Guard

Nows too sensitive

Cover Sold to control

Its fine if you think about what you know

I am free,

not any of the me's you thought

This Love started a Fire and we the melting pots

The Great Flood

Bring us home ,womb waters

Dark nights

Turn to

Watch the warm Sun Rise 

Thankyou Saturn,

This Heart you made strong

This mind you trained over matter. 

One day ill come back

With rivers of hope

Able to Love

Without giving out peices of my

Soul.

You thought were crumbs

portion controlled

I was told, you shouldnt be so much

So i became less condensed

I gave what little i had left

To see you believe again

Id do it all over

Bc now i see the power

In ALL the wallflowers.

Lord i Pray for courage to stay in Love

Practice makes progress

I think id like to laugh more and say less

I laugh in awe of all the connectedness

And when im nervous

I mean excited , same difference

-SCR

1/4/2023

(This night was really beautiful, it started off with being tired, i saw a video that let me express my anger in a healthy way, then i heard another, with a verse that at the core i felt it said, "why not me?" And this was the backgroumd song. Somehow when i write i always snd up making analogies to water, i am a water sign/water placements, and the whole time i wrote this i listened to this song. Relating to the song by thinking about my younger self and my relationships with other people but mostly how i let myself down and how i am being patient with forgiving myself for having fragile boundaries. Letting go of old habits, and old belief habits. Then when i went to screenshot this song bc i like to attach feelings to feelings. Adding background music is a must if i can. Coming to realize the short video on this song was the most perfect. From vizuals to the words. Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou. All love, always 💞

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

MICKEY MOUSEY clubHAUSE!!!

I KEEP HEARIN MUNCHIN N MUNCHIN N LIL PAW PAWS RUNNIN AROUND IN MI ROOM N IN THA LIVING ROOM WHEN NO ONE IS DOIN ANYTHUNG N ITZ SCARIIIIIIIII. IDK WHERE DA FUG WE LEF THA RAT TRAP LAST TIME WE CAUGHT A LIL MICKEY MOUSEY MITSKY POOP BUTT I KANNOT MF SLEEP IN PEACE KNOWIN THEY HERE. I AM SO [RATIONALLY] SCARED IMA WAKE UP N ONE IS GONNA B IN MY MOUTFH. TELL MEH IF IM BEING RAT-IONALL. ALSO THE CRICKETS FUK RLY RLY LOUD AT NITE N IM SCARED OF THE BIRDS I KANT SEE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW THT SOUND LIKE THEY R SCREAMING OL YELLAAAAAHH. I KANT HEAR PHEOBE BRIDGERZ OVER THEM.

Finally went to the bins in LIC. thought id hav to fight ppl there cuz TIff told me sOme bitch pulled some shoes out of their hand they found first but it wuz quite EMPTY when i got there!!!!!!!!!! i found a Rly kute brand new ralph lauren polo tank and GW leather red n black high heel boots. ALL for like 2 buckz!!!!! idk why i thought id b successful in finding anna bolina [my iphone autocorrected anna bolina to anna bologna n i thot tht wuz kinda funnie] tanks or zip dressez there but whatevzz, walking around for an hour and a half in circlez around tha bins were rly theraputic . the7 train so wobbly n packed n sociologically fascinating. ppl r counting their hundreds openly , couples r so intertwined , holding each other still while the subway carts shake our bones ... i wasnt even wearing platformz but i felt so fragile even whilst being held together by tha rat race rat packed lil LIC 7 Train. LIC so quiet i wonder if and when i get a slower pace of life ill maybe settle here cuz it's so neighborhoody n it's a still an easy ferry ride to the city . i wuld luv to live alone again n feel the ability to host more ppl comfortably / hav my own independent space for my own artistic pursuits as a multidisciplinary artist .......

ST EAZY n ZILLOW

PLZ B KIND 2 MEH.

ihope i kan get on sum pandemic monkey pox rent stabilized deal LMAO. mi rent in bev hills for my own place wuz like 1300 but studios in NYC are like 1700 . like wtf lolzz. Mind u i was paying like 100 every 6 months for a fuckin parking pass just to park my car in my area n also like 100 in utilities on top of tht a month but tht was do-able w/ my income n i kant imagine having to make like 40x the rent amount now in NYC n with my Average credit score now i just don kno .

BUTTTTT. igot a nannying job in UES n also passed tha first round of interviewzz with The Children's Institute of Fashion Arts to b a sewing instructor / fashion design teacher ;] EXCITED. i hav no teaching credentialzz but i was a tutor thruout high school n was a socialworker for kiddozz during covid n had to meet their teachers / drive them to skool to get their laptopz ….. during my junior yr in college i had my sociology internship where i taught art to unhoused children for the summer. i think tht makes me more than qualified TBH butttttt.

Ur laughing w a stranger outside of substance abuse skate park at an after after party talkin ab naming our children after diff types of cheeze, like Baby feta andbaby swiss and baby parm n baby colby Jac . Whenever i decide to hav children i will name them meunster. Or swizz.

LADYGUNN wuz fun w many cute musicians, stylists, designers, photographerzz modelzz n HOTTIES . giving advice ab seeking/sugar bby lyfe n getting advice on how to succeed in tha fashion world blah blah... mucho tired pullin up tho cuz NYFW castingzz have been extremely exhausting but i made it past tha 2nd round for danielsleatherzz n got scouted by MAMA KITTYYY who shuld hit me up for a show as well... TRYNA STAY BOOKED AF.

i luv being able to complain ab the stupid modeling industry with other cute models but also laugh about how fun it is at tha same time n be encouraging n hype each other up when we all do our lil runway walk IT SO KUTE n supportive n MODELING IS SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN MODELING. its art, community, FASHION which is SOFT POWER... A LIL EXCERPT I WROTE AB IT 4 SKOOL RECENTLYY.

"fashion is soft power, a form of communication . During the french revolution people wore the jewelry of the high priestesses n priests while redistributing wealth. with wealth comes influence , with wealth comes power. fashion attests to that. '

and the redistribution of wealth is something i always found endearing in my religious studies and 'wrestle' with God per say, i enjoyed the reading of the laws. and That every 7 years there would be a sabbath / rest period for labor. and every 50 years [ year of jubilee ] they would rotate class statuses. jesus also taught to create safety nets for the poor, fashion encompasses society n its growths and highs n lows. jesus emphasized nurturing all class statues thru clothing them, feeding them, housing them.

CHARLIXCX JUSTDISCOVERED CROCS 2 DAYS AGO [09/05/22] AND I YAM WAITING 4 THEM TO DROP A SONG AB IT ASAP ALSO MET A GURL NAMED NELLY THIS WK N NOW I FEEL GUILTY CALLING PPL THT AS A TOXIC WAY TO TEASE PPL.

Nowadayz is so kute to lay against tha speakers n rly rly rly feel the music surge into ur palms and thru ur body. why do the deepest convos happen on the nowadayz dance floor. standing in front of the DJ booth holding each other so close screaming in each otherz ears loud enough to hear over the music but tender 3nough to not b offended. yR friend r on molly anD we lay outside finding the orion constellation in the string-lightz. its funnie to laugh ab but the truth comes to surface thti haven't seen constellations or stars 4 far 2 long.... growing up in SGV i wuz surrounded by mountains ... waking up willingly at like 5am everymorning just to walk around alone . watch the sunrise n leave poems 4 my forbidden crush [they were a pASTORS KID and i wuz this scene goth bitch wiff an antieyebrow piercing] in the little tunnel / bridge under the mall down tha st from mi house. id sneak into the arboretum n write poems next to the cherry treez and see the peacocks every single day . arcadia was such a jdugmental n superficial fake town. but we sure housed all tha god damn peacocks in LA. it wuz our town's lil slogan in animal form i guess, if u hurt one u could deadass do time in jail.

[lost the rest of this on my old tumblr SADDDDDD] ...

-RENNY

[cold-arrow]

Doctor’s notes, Book 5 part 13

| Skyward / The Icespires | summary, things of note since last entry: boarding ship, destination broken gift, Sir Angelo's insights dwarven city, the king and his double directions, A visit from Varan. the Yak-Folk | 1 / 6 | its been quiet. too quiet for a while now. Even with Sir Angelo filling some the of the deafening silence. it feels… foreboding. I still wake up each morning, if not in the middle of the night, terrified. But I don’t even remember any of my dreams, or nightmares. I am… concerned to say the least. If When – She -- comes back again. I… don’t know what I am gonna do. Or if ill be able to even do anything usefull. Our audience with the damned king only further proving how useless I am. I try to keep myself busy, but I don’t have much to do or distract myself with. I… I just have to keep going. I can not stop. Even it the weight…  It just gets heavier. by the day. Even if the others lessen the burden. Still want to do something to return th apqklkgsht maybe that’s something I can preoccupy myself with.

| 2 / 6 | things went better then expected when we boarded the ship. The crew was… still distant as expected. but… it didn’t feel, or seem as bad as last time. Lym, has been staring daggers at her brother though it feels like. Or... it’s hard to tell. She hasn’t talked to him yet. And kept quiet thusfar for the most part. Just waiting and observing. …  I gave our directions to the captain. Though it was a bit of an awkward conversation. I don’t know if that’s just me though. or how I am. Or my scepticism, of everything being deceptively alright on the ship. Or… I don’t know. Everything “seems” fine thusfar. But I guess only time will tell, once we’ve actually set sail. and settled in again on the ship. * the captain was a bit confused by the lack of direction or specifics for our destination. I… tried to be as clear as I could, and that we atleast needed to go to the Icespires, northeast of Sundabar. But, without knowing the exact location, It’s a bit difficult appearently. I will have to either discuss with Baras or send him to the captain instead, as to what were gonna do once we arrive the mountain range.   And where we’re gonna go, once we get there. The prophecy wasn’t really specific as id like it to have been in hindsight.

| 3 / 6 | I havnt heard any yelling from Lym, or her brother yet. Which, is a good sign. And he still seems to be in one piece. So… judging by how Lym seems to be in a much better mood. Or at least not as worried as before, i guess things went well (?) for the most part. -- I expected sir Angelo to be sea sky-sick, the moment we set off. and I prepared some nausea meds for him just, in case. But, he’s made of sturdier stuff that I thought. And mostly is just excited and curious about the whole flying cart thing. He’s been haunting the gnome twins relentlessly, and bombarding them with questions every opportunity het gets. But… I don’t think he’s realized yet. That there are actually two of them, and that when one gets tired of his endless stream of inquires, the other one takes over. I am… unsure if I should tell him. -- I think I should be able to utilize either the ship’s onboard forge, or the fire elemental engine, to start working on the small gift I had In mind. I should have everything I need, and ill probably opt for the elemental to help me out, since it seems kind of appropriate. -- it broke. I don’t know whether – She – somehow manifested and did that.   Or if she;s just forever cursed my luck. But… it broke, beyond repair. And I cant even fix them. I… was hoping to – do and take care of -- this small gesture. As a  thank you. But I guess im not even allowed to do that.   I could buy a new later perhaps. Start again. But… It felt important, atleast to me, to do it now. I guess it will just have to wait.

| 4 / 6 | Lym managed to cheer me up a bit ( bless her heart.) She probably picked up on the fact that I was even more depressed then usual. So she offered to try and teach a bit of Infernal. Which I very much welcomed the distraction of. It’s… quite a challenging language to learn it seems. Possibly because it’s feels like the complete opposite to celestial. Like in almost every linguistic aspect. And I’m having a hard time following her explanations sometimes as well. her teaching style is a bit more… intuitive, then logical. Perhaps its because she grew up learning the language. Unlike me, who is just some middle-aged bloke, with more tools then words for a brain unfluent in pretty much any language besides common. But, Im taking good notes. And her instructions on pronunciation  are actually quite a bit more intuitive then I would have thought. I dread our future lessons of grammar however. but ill see when I get there. -- had a… curious interaction with Angelo. Which was Infuriating and amusing at the same time. We tried to… “edecuate” feels like the wrong word. enlighten him? Or provide a different perspective on why unmarried woman aren’t inferior or weak at all. or lesser. though he seems good natured and usually intends well. The years of doctrine that he’s seems to have been subjected to, from those in Gauntylgrimm. They are tenacious I guess. We tried: Explaining it to him. Which went about as well as you might expect, he… isn’t the brightest fellow. So, I thought I should perhaps give him a demonstration instead. And gave him one of my alter-self elixirs. Once he’d drank it, I simply told him to think of a woman in his live. And… he changed into pretty much a female copy of himself. His mother apparently. I guess her bloodline runs pretty strong. (including herself.)  He changed into Lym as well, at somepoint. And I suggested maybe doing some physical exercises, to prove that woman are equally strong if not stronger than men. But…. It didn’t really get the point across sadly, I don’t think. And he actually agrees that woman are in fact strong So I still don’t understand why… or what exactly the belief or issue is. Is it the unmarried part?? *ah! …. I forgot Baras knows infernal as well. maybe I could ask if both of them could perhaps teach me some stuff from time to time. Cause I fear that Baras’ approach might be a bit too logical, in his explanation. So maybe the both of them cancel each other out?

| 5 / 6 |

  not much happened on our journey to the icespires. I havnt really done anything either. Don’t even know What to do after the ??? broke The main question is, where to we go from here. Do we just land the ship and go by foot, and try and look for tracks or something. Or do we just hope we get lucky and maybe spot a fire giant heading down to their forge.

I don’t remember who it was ( been particularly tired the last few days, but someone suggested we should perhaps visit a nearby dwarven settlement. Or city. I think Citadel Adbar was the name of it

Sir Angelo seemed once again, impressed by what the surface dwelling dwarves had built. But he still claims that I could never compare to his home of Gauntylgrimm as well. I… guess he has A lot of pride for his city. Once our airship landed. We were greeted by some guards. Who actually seemed to recognize us somehow. Actually addressing us with “The Giant slayers” and all that. But also messing up Omrick’s name again. which is ironic, heh. They were slightly disappointed to learn that “Omrick” was his actual name, and not the heroic one that they’d initially made up or misheard. But they nevertheless led us to the city, and mentioned that the king and his council… would like for us to have an audience with them. (I… was having flashbacks to how our previous invitation went, and was a bit hesitant.) But it went better then expected ( ? ) it definitely was a… strange interaction. Baras mentioned and told us a bit about the ruling body of the city, or the “Kings” as he put that. And what we could expect. (But, it did seem like he was holding back on something.) When we actually arrived. We were… enthusiastically greeted be a, rather young King. And a gathering of crotchety advisors, who were trying to lead and guide the most conversation, the best they could. But, were constantly interrupted and “silenced” by the king talking over them. Who was barging ahead with the conversation as he pleased. he quickly asked us to deal with the fire giants, and retrieve their fellow dwarves, and captured citizens. Promising us great wealth and powerful magical artifacts should we succed. Lym, who lead most of the conversation, quickly and cleverly guided us to an agreement. So… right then and there we agreed to the king’s offer, to something we were already gonna do. I guess we just profit? The advisors kept trying their best to delay the conversation. And try to arrange for a follow up meeting, so they could take some time to discuss things. But the king immediately agreed to it all, before any of that could really happen. And he simply told us we could come back later, to talk a bit more about the details of our assignment. Until then, we were to be given a tour of the city. Something which the advisors initially wanted to use, as a moment to discuss things. But we quickly left them to their squabbling, and took a quick glance around the place.

…

Angelo handt joined us thankfully, and was send out on an early tour of the city. Ans was led to a decent tavern. Where he had been drinking with some new “friends” he had made. Who were clearly just using him for his money and free drinks. It seems that he is loaded. and has no really concept of money or of being frugal.

but we managed to chase of his drinking palls, and enjoyed a nice warm meal, before going back to the king and receiving a bit more info on the whereabouts of the fire giants. Including a few maps of the area, and info on where their scouts had last been seen and disappeared.

which im a bit concerned about.

we didn’t stay long in the city after that. And quickly headed back to the airship to set sail once more. But in the meantime, Baras had informed us that Apparently… the actual King had died. And that this was just a doppelganger, placed there to replace him. Temporarily? The uh… the old king had died in some great battle, along with both of his twin sons. But the official story, was that one of the sons had survived and was now the new ruling king. One to be puppeted, and controlled by the advisors. Which is kind of morally ambiguous ill admit…

But what the advisors didn’t realize, and is secret that Baras had found out through Dave. Is that the replacement king is not just a lookalike. It is a actual Doppleganger. As in the shapechanging monster….

I am not really sure how to feel about this. Both the puppet king placed there by the advisors, that now want to rule the city. And the Doppleganger that is disregarding their instructions, and doing his own thing. But atleast… the dopple is, or has good intentions? It seems ?? like, at least they are trying to help, and have the giant issue taking care of. And wants us to safe the people of his city at all cost. Unlike the advisors, who seem to be more worried about who actually rules the city. for the most part. So… I think I prefer the dopple over the other one. I mean… as long as their intentions stay good, that should be fine right? I… guess we’ll see once we return. Perhaps.

| 6 / 6 | so Varan dropped by. he seemed to be in a hurry though and didn’t stay long. After an impressive entrance, and dropping of a letter for Baras. (from Dave I presume ) he quickly departed once more upon his Griffin. But not before almost sweeping Lym of her feet. This might also be the first time that Lehel has actually met the guy. And even with the scarf, he didn’t seem…. too enthusiastic. Which is kinda ironic. I quickly shouted my thanks him as well, for retrieving my stuff and all that, as he flew of on his Griffin. But he mostly just seemed to be there for Baras  ( and Lym. ( who is surprisingly Popular I realize. Good for her though. It is very much heart-warming to see, in my opinion. Though I do somewhat pity her brother. ) ) … whilst we were arguing about something, either about the village of yak-folk or its where-abouts or whatever. We didn’t realize it at first when sir Angelo mentioned that he’d spotted – these rather large, individuals. Or large Yaks? Asking us how tall and yak-like the people actually where, that we were looking. A bit confused, but soon realizing that he might have found or the spotted the village. We quickly headed over to the railing of the ship as well to try and spot the large Yak and the people he was pointing out. I uh... I understand his question now. the village of yak-people, or yak-folk. They are actually, Tall. Humanoid. And Bipedal Yak-Folk... Not too dissimilar to minotaurs in all honesty… I guess the prophecy was quite literal in hindsight? We are about to land and meet with them, but they don’t really seem hostile yet. We just have to make sure that they do actually become hostile, once sir Angelo… Fuck. He has already jumped of the ship We havnt even landed yet!  

[devotedlystrangewizard]

listen i hate queue times for msq trials a LOT but it.. it is kinda funny when its the queue for the final trial of endwalker

[ttheriddlerr]

HIGH ALL THE TIME

summary : in which, getting high w/ peter parker isn’t always a bad idea

warning : literally just fluff

pairing : peter parker x reader

“cmon peter don't pussy out on me now! I've spent my last cash on this stuff!” you said as you giggled.

“what if I slip up and say something stupid-” you cut him off

“its not like we will remember anyways! look if you don't wanna do it its fine, but im never buying for you again! got it?” you questioned as you started to pack the bowl to the bong you had hiding under your shared bed.

you and peter were broke college students living from paycheck to paycheck in queens, new york. barely being able to take times for yourselves you thought getting him to smoke with you would at least make him stress less. you hated seeing him so stressed, especially with being spider-man and whatnot. 

when you and peter were in high-school you’d both smoke a bunch of pot together to destress after big tests or failed dates (mostly from your end because peter was literally perfect!) 

“alright alright, just for tonight..” peter said and with that you got excited

“woohoo! peter parker letting loose!” you exclaimed excitedly

you finished packing the bowl, you grabbed a lighter from your side table and stuck your lips inside the bong and lit up the pot, inhaling once you felt ready. you passed the bong to peter as you coughed a little, you knew you weren't high yet because you couldn't feel it. you weren't much of a lightweight smoking since high-school made you build a tolerance. you grabbed the alexa from the side of the bed as it was too quiet for you, the only sound being the air conditioning in this cold weather because you and peter were always hot no matter what. 

you asked alexa to play songs by the neighbourhood, the first song that came on was crybaby. one of your favorite songs at one point in life so you dance along to the beat of the song giggling as peter passed you the bong again. you took hit after hit and before you noticed you were high. you laid down and stared at the ceiling, you heard peter shift and lay next to you. 

“thanks for this [name], seriously i feel better already thanks to you.” you heard peters words slur a little 

moments like these you loved, just you and your buddy peter in your run down apartment building. 

“you know one day i wanna travel the world, that would be wonderful. maybe we could travel together once we are done college. lets get out of here peter.” you turned on you side and looked at peter, your eyes shining with euphoria.

“hmm id love that [name], just us both no stress no cares.” he smiled at you

you put your hand on his cheek and caressed it, closing your eyes an humming with the music. 

“[name], i know we are so stoned right now, but after this can i take you on a date?” you could hear the nervousness in peters voice

“of course you can pete, we always go on friend dates together you know this!” exclaiming the last part a bit

“no- no i mean a REAL date [name], i have genuine feelings for you.” you were caught in a daze, you opened your eyes to see a hopeful looking peter

“is this peter or the weed talking to me right now?” you interrogated because you couldn't believe it 

you've had feelings for peter since sixth grade when you both met, he was so perfect and still is. he has always been there for you when you needed it, you couldn't as for a better friend. 

“its me [name], i barely took hit while you went at it” with that you both giggled

“sure peter parker, you can take me on a date. just don't be tricking me now or we will have a problem and ill kick you out our shared apartment” you laughed hysterically because you gave such empty threats.

“okay ms.[last name], i promise im not playing with you, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on.” you took that to heart, jesus how could you ever function correctly when he is being so nice to you right now. 

“c-can i kiss you? im tired of talking” and with that you nodded excitedly. 

you felt so many sparks once his lips hit yours. the taste of your strawberry lipgloss and his vanilla lip-balm made the kiss even better. it tasted as what you'd think love would taste like. pure euphoria, sweet and good smelling, just overall perfect. you may have been higher than peter but you'd remember this night forever. 

[threepointseven]

The official shut down of 3.7’s flower shop

HIYA EVERYONE!!! HOW ARE YA? ALSO THANKS FOR 1K FOLLOWERS! <3AHEM.. well!! As you can see from the title my little flower shop is no more.. sadly we have to close down. Our flowers have wilted and the poor owner is in short, sick of growing flowers. I hope you can understand.

Writing used to be a dear hobby of mine but ever since i started gaining popularity it got repetitive and too competitive, plus i never knew how much it hurt to get hate… i kept going for as long as i could. Writing till all i could think while writing those goddamn headcannons were “fuck i wanna just stop already.”

Besides how tired i got i truly thank all of you for staying and for helping me reach 1 thousand followers, honestly i never thought i would get that far! I still am quite jealous of those creators who got 1k+ notes in over a night but im grateful to all of you.

Im happy that everyone talked to me so comfortably, im happy everyone saw me as a friend rather than a writer. Interacting with everyone was just so fun. I even got a few friends due to how much i talked to everyone! It made me so happy seeing people praise my work, it was practically my drive! I wanted to create a safe space in my little pink flower shop, to write work that made people feel fuzzy inside and to let people experience comforting emotions. To write out feelings and expressions for people who couldn’t just visualize it or come up with it, and god i hope i succeeded.

But, its been a while since ive started writing. I went from obey me and practically every anime in the book to genshin. I got excited over my first 100 customers and now im here shutting down my flower shop at a milestone i fantasized about reaching. What ever starts needs to end!

Maybe if i were to be more blunt about it, tumblr made me despise writing. I really never thought id get to a point where i hate writing, its always been something im eager to do no matter the circumstance but i hate it now. I hate not being able to fulfill peoples request but at the same time i hate it when i do see a request, its confusing and annoying! I miss writing, truly writing and not just doing requests. I miss writing and feeling good about it, coming up with names and characters without the feeling of pressure on my back. And to be honest, as much as i love everyone who does support me, all my work tends to be a “give everything get nothing” type of thing. Its saddening. I never wanted to correlate writing fanfics to attention and followers but i think this app made me relate them to eachother after experiencing that first wave of popularity. Enough complaints..

A special thank you to every single one of my regulars, people i never thought id meet but i did! And im beyond happy i did.

🎀 anon, 👩‍🦲 anon(hiko), 🧸 anon, 😎 anon, 🦥 anon, 🌸 anon, 💪 anon(aka mila), 🕺 anon(hinas-imagines), 💕 anon, 🌹 anon, wooloo anon, 🇫🇷 anon, 🍁anon(tarta-glia), 🌅 anon, ☕️ anon (bronyas-blog), 🌙 anon, 👀 anon, 🍄 anon, 🤺 anon, ✨ , (🧞‍♀️), 🪱 anon

I hope everyone loved my flowers, my bouquets, and talking with this hopeless romantic of a florist.

No one likes wilted flowers after all! My anons, my mutuals, my followers. I love you all ❤️

From 3.7, to you. 💐

[cyborg-franky]

HI FRANKY 💗💗💗 im so excited bc this is my first matchup ever! id prefer a male one if that’s okay!

about me!! im 20, bi, use she/her pronouns ! my personality is different once you get to know me, im pretty quiet and shy around new people but once i become close friends w someone, i talk more! in general, im always joking and never serious :p id say i have a dry sense of humor / am sarcastic . im also introverted and get tired from being around a lot of people easily. as for hobbies , i love writing, playing video games (sims, animal crossing, Zelda, Pokémon), baking !! , going on walks esp now that it’s fall :•), visiting cute cafes / libraries ! you’ve seen how i look(i think?), but im 5’2, have long straight brown hair, and love wearing black clothing! my dark circles are pretty bad and i always look dead tired :3

I should just have posted this with KILLER and nothing else tbh haha

I match you with Killer

I feel knowing you I think you’d suit him. I think your sense of humour and type of whit would suit someone like Killer, he’d be able to bounce back the same brand. People would think you were savage when really you were just direct, he’d get that and find you hilarious.

He’s a low maintenance partner, he doesn’t need you to talk all the time or feel you need to entertain him. You enjoy your time together even if its in a comfortable silence and doing your own things.

After a day of having to deal with peoples bullshit you could lay on the sofa together and just veg, no effort needed just read or put on your fav movie or show.

He may not look it but he would be so down for going to cute cafes with you. Imagine that man in a cat café, looking scary as all hell with a cute little teacup in his hand and petting a cat.

--

[MODERN AU]

You looked down at your phone, watching the little arrow point further down the road. Your arm linked with your tall boyfriend, both of you dressed in dark clothes, people tended to give you strange looks, you didn’t care.

“I think it’s down here” You hummed in thought, starting in the direction. “I heard this place has really good coffee and I’ve been wanting to check it out for awhile”

“The cat one or the hedgehog one?” He asked peering down at your phone screen before trying to work out if he could see any signs of the store front from here “Neither, it’s the one with all the flowers over the front”

“Ah yes” He nodded and you walked with him enjoying how the big tough man loved going to these cute new places with you.

MATCH UPS CLOSED