#which yeah idk it was dumb but I was so scared and they said I was gonna owe all this money and be responsible and possibly face jail like

[audiovisualrecall]

Love how I can ruin something so easily

[jackalopefreckles]

Yeahh idk this years been bad for me i was hoping it was gonna get better but it?? Doesn't look like it

[wonybaee]

| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | My love, forever ahn yujin x f!reader

-> warnings: kissing, bitchy waitress, girlies are lovesick, idk why they broke up?? this is from that poll btw:)

☆☆☆

You had work today, so you expected an alarm to wake you up from your dreams, a normal alarm, not the one with your ex-girlfriends face popping up on your phone screen, the alarm screaming “Wake up! It's your 3rd year anniversary with your pretty girlfriend!”

Yeah, hearing it now, after a few months of setting up that alarm, did sound cringe.

I mean, it would sound cringe, your ex-girlfriend yujin, did make you set that alarm up before you two broke up.

Anyways, forgetting that, before you get sentimental and shit.

You groaned, stretching your limbs hearing a loud crack, “ouch,  mei, I think your mamas getting old.”

You chuckled, looking over at your dog that was sprawled out on her little dog bed, “you probably think I'm dumb, but i know you understand me, so, i'll still talk to you.”

Getting out of your bed, you slipped your feet into the slippers that were placed by your bed and went straight to fetch mei her dog food, she always comes first, well, more likely, if you went to the bathroom, she would not make you relax, barking your ear off, so you decided to do the right thing.

After getting her food, water and petting for a while, she rolled over and went straight back to sleep.

You smiled, you have had mei for quite a while now, you and yujin got her at the start of your relationship, yujin said and you quote “in case we ever break up, which i doubt, one of us gets to keep her to think about the other!”

“But what about one of us that doesn't get to keep the dog?” you asked, “well, i didn't think about that,” yujin smiled sheepishly, “then let's get two dogs, what do you think?” you tilted your head, “woah! That's actually smart!” and you both broke out in fit of giggles.

And that's how you got two dogs, mei that you got to keep, and gaeul, that yujin got to keep.

Gosh, did that alarm got to your head that much or why were you suddenly thinking about your memories with yujin?!

You shook your head, pushing the thoughts of yujin and how happy you two were together away, getting up to get ready for work.

☆☆☆

You were walking mei around the park, you had just gotten off work and decide to take her on a walk, it would make you relax after a long day too, so, you took her leash and went out.

“Mei, shouldn't we sit down? My legs are killing me,” you whined out, like she could actually hear you.

Nevertheless, you took a little blanket out of your backpack, spreading it out on the grass, taking a seat.

“Let me get this thing off of you, so you can go run around for a while,” you took off her leash, and mei like she had been held hostage all this time, started running around like crazy, running up to people making them pet her.

You just laughed whole-heartedly, taking out your phone to film her.

After filming her for quite a while, you shut your phone off, dropping it inside your bag and instead taking out a pack of cigarettes and lighter, lighting it up and popping it inside your mouth.

When you looked up, mei was nowhere to be found, you got up in panic, picking up your things, running around, searching for her.

After finally spotting her next to a woman with her own dog, you quickly run up to them.

“Oh my gosh, mei, you scared the living shit outta me,” you fell to your knees, picking her up and hugging her tightly against your chest, “I'm sorry, she doesn't usually run up to people like that, i don't know, why-"

“I guess she just recognised me,” the woman's words made you stop in your tracks, “wow, it hasn't even been that long, and you already forgot me?”

Her teasing tone made you realize who you were talking to, and why mei, when she never does, ran like crazy to this mysterious, well, not anymore, since you figured out that the person was yujin.

“Oh, um, no i didn't forget you, just, didn't see your face,” you tried to reason.

“I didn't knew you still smoked,” she ignored what you said and changed the topic.

“Yeah, only once in a while,” you realized you still had cigarette in your mouth, so you took a big whiff before throwing it down on the pavement and smashing it with your foot.

“Good to hear,” she smiled, “see you around?”

“Yeah, of course, totally, most definitely...see you around,” you slapped yourself mentally, what the fuck?! Great, now you embarrassed yourself in front of her.

She just chuckled at your red cheeks, “cute,” she mumbled under her breath, hoping that you would still hear.

And you did, just tried to play it off.

With last nod towards your way, she turned around, tugging gaeul with her leash, that you just now noticed, was rubbing against your leg.

“Aw, gaeul, I'm sorry baby, i just noticed you,” you cooed, bending down to pet her, “how are you?”

Gaeul rolled onto her back, her paws flying in every direction, “she still likes your rubs so much,” yujin pointed it out.

“Yeah,” you dragged out, “you know, i was thinking, since we haven't seen each other for this past few months, what do you think about catching up over some coffee?”

You looked at her with a hopeful glint in your eyes, but her face told it all, “it doesn't have to be like a date, just two old friends catching up?”

“Y/n, i didn't even think of it as a date,” ouch, that hurt, “i knew what you meant, and yeah, I would like to catch up on with you over a cup of coffee.”

“Great, tomorrow around...” you looked down at your watch, calculating the time, “three p.m. is good for you?”

“Perfect actually, i get off work around two, so, I'll have enough time to get pretty for you.” She winked, before finally leaving.

“Mei, i don't like to brag, but i think we're about to get your mom and sister back,” you smirked, looking at yujin's figure that was almost out of sight.

☆☆☆

“Mei, baby, i have to leave you with your grandma today,” you stared at yourself in the mirror, adding final touches to your makeup and hair, “the mission “get mei’s mom and sister back", can only be done by me, you'll have to sit this one out.”

You scratched her head, walking towards and out the door.

Walking in the cafe, you looked around for the empty table to occupy for you and yujin.

“Hello, would you like anything?” the waitress came over, a girl with blonde, no, yellow hair, twirling it between her fingers.

“No, thanks, I-" she cut you off, okay, rude.

“Are you waiting for someone?” she put her hands down on the table, putting her whole weigh on them.

“Yes, i am, actually, so i would appreciate if you'd get back to your job, and act like a professional,” she straightened up her posture, a scowl attached to her face, “thank you, now, i would like a glass of water, before-"

“Actually, we'd like two cups of coffee,” yujin stepped out from behind the waitress, motioning her to get out of her way, “thanks.”

She flashed her a fake smile, “your coffee will be out in a few,” and walked off.

“Gosh, what a pain in the ass,” you groaned out, looking at yujin from head to toe, gosh, she looks beautiful.

Yujin's face went red, fiddling with the hem of her dress, before she took a seat in front of you.

“You said it out loud, you know,” she tried to stop her smile from forming.

“So? Did i lie?” you tilted your head to the side, small smirk making it's way on your lips, at the sight of her red as a tomato cheeks.

“Stop, you're making me blush,” she put her face in her hands, embarrassed to look up.

“Payback for making me blush yesterday,” you murmured under your breath, yujin missing it in a beat.

“What did you say?” she asked, finally straightening up.

“I said, you look even prettier with red cheeks,” you winced loudly, when she slapped you on the arm, very aggressively.

“Seriously, stop, i can't take it anymore,” she whined, unknowingly pout making it's way on her lips.

“Come on, I'm tryna win you back here, have some faith,” you suddenly stopped at your own words, shutting your eyes tightly, “I'm sorry-"

“It's okay, I dressed up for you anyway, hoping to win you back with my prettiness,” both of you broke out in fit of giggles, and you coffee arrived.

☆☆☆

“I miss talking to you,” yujin smiled sadly, looking down.

“I miss being with you, so, yeah,” there was a few seconds of silence, before that waitress broke it again.

“Your check,” she slammed it down on the table, waiting for one of you to pay, so you took out your wallet, paying before both you and yujin got up, leaving the cafe.

☆☆☆

You and yujin were walking side by side, you decided to walk her home, even though thousands of protests from her, you wanted to make this moment last even longer.

“Since when was your house this close?” you asked, staring up at the big apartment building.

“I don't know,” she let out a small giggle, “you can come-"

You didn't let her finish, crashing your lips against hers, her lips felt like soft, fluffy pillows against your own.

You two stayed like that for a few seconds, eyes shut, just lips pressed against each others, not moving an inch, before you finally pulled back.

“I don't-" “I want to get back together.”

“You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words from-" she didn't let you finish, pressing up against you, clashing her mouth against your owns.

Mei, i don't like bragging, but i thin the mission “get mei's mom and sister back" was a total success.

☆☆☆

[scribblescrabbledepartment]

2 more illustrationsss idk if im really in love with them maybe ill redo them someday

[ID: two illustrations. the first shows two boys walking against the wind in a barren, snowy area. the second shows a creepy, grimy, decaying baby doll.]

story under cut (taken directly from a dream) (this one isnt really my best & it still needs some revising but what ever)

“Do we really have to go all the way out here?”

“Yeah, I wanna show you something.”

Two young boys of eight and ten trudged through a marsh-turned-tundra, one leading the other. The gray sky was difficult to differentiate from the gray ground, and despite the snow and ice covering the area, the land was still somehow spongy and muddy and threatened to pull away their snow boots with each slimy step. Their footsteps would have made a pretty unpleasant crunchy-squishing noise which might be compared to the sound of an enormous beetle being crushed as their boots broke through thin layers of ice and sunk into the marshy ground, but the wind was so eerily loud with its otherworldly howls and whistles that it drowned out nearly every other sound. The younger of the two boys, following behind his older brother, looked warily at the few trees and shrubs poking out of the miserable grayness and thought that they resembled monster skeletons, but would never express this out loud; his brother mustn’t get the idea that he was scared, even though his brother was a little scared himself.

“It’s up there,” the older boy called through the shrieks of the wind. They approached a strange little area which was partially shielded from the weather with monster skeleton trees. About ten feet from the trees was the edge of what couldn’t quite be described as water even during the warmest seasons. It was more like a muddy quicksandy sludge, now mixed with winter slush. Between the slushy sludge and the monster skeletons was a barren strip of land. A couple of objects lay partially covered in muck and snow on the ground.

“What is that?” The younger boy stuck close behind his brother, not feeling particularly fond of anything that was happening right now. His brother snapped a stick off of one of the shrubs and used it to haphazardly dust off the things on the ground—dolls. Two baby dolls that looked like antiques, one still a rosy peach color and in pretty good shape, the other appearing greenish and almost decayed.

“A kid at school told me about this place,” said the older boy, answering before his brother could ask. “Apparently people leave sacrifices for them. You know why?”

His younger brother shook his head. He didn’t know and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. If they didn’t freeze to death out here, he was sure he’d have nightmares for a week just from the visual alone.

“They leave sacrifices because apparently they’re alive. They look pretty dead right now but when nobody’s around they get up and start walking and looking for something to kill, so people leave the sacrifices so they won’t go kill anybody.”

“That’s dumb,” the younger boy said in a voice that trembled much more than he would have liked it to. It was absolutely dumb and it creeped the hell out of him all the same.

“Yeah, it is,” the older boy admitted. “Still kinda neat though. They look really old. I bet they’ve been here for a hundred years.” Doing what, though? He pushed the thought out of his mind. He didn’t need his little brother thinking he was any kind of creeped out.

“Can we go now? This weather sucks,” the younger complained. His brother nodded and they turned around to leave. As they shuffled off, however, the younger boy lost his footing and tumbled over into the vast pond of sludge.

“God dammit,” he cried out in frustration. He knew his brother wouldn’t tell on him for swearing; they always cursed with each other when no adults (or tattle-tales) were around to hear. Grunting, he tried to push himself upright, but he found it very difficult to move in the thick liquid, and his heavy winter clothes didn’t help.

“Here, grab my hand,” the older brother called against the wind, reaching out. His brother somehow seemed much farther away from the edge of the land than he should have been. As he glanced at the ground to make sure he wasn’t stepping into the muck, he noticed that the more decayed-looking doll was missing.

“What the…” he murmured under his breath. He looked back up to his brother and felt his body go numb. On the horizon, moving closer, was what appeared to be a tiny figure.

“Come on, grab my hand!” He tried not to let his panic show as he leaned out over the edge of the pond, but something in his voice tipped his brother off. The younger boy turned his head and saw the doll swimming toward him, slowly but surely, and he began to scream. He screamed and reached as far as he could and tried to shuffle out of the sludge but it was much more difficult than it was getting in, and the doll grew closer. They could see its arms slowly going around like windmills in their creaky sockets in a very poor imitation of swimming and if it had been a scene from a movie they would have been laughing hysterically, but it wasn’t a movie and the movement somehow managed to push the doll with relative ease through the same almost-liquid that trapped the younger boy.

The two were becoming increasingly frantic as the younger brother struggled to free himself and the older boy briefly considered stepping in just a little bit to reach him, but then he surely would have wound up just as stuck as his brother and of no help to anybody. He stretched his arm out as far as he could, nearly falling into the pond as he reached, and as he finally brushed his brother’s fingertips he noticed that the doll had disappeared. And suddenly, so did his brother as something pulled him under at a terrifying speed, leaving the older boy standing stunned and alone in the desolate, miserable grayness.

[cosmicseafoam]

Randy Moore on the Sunken Teeth Co live part2

part 1 about the drop here

These wont be super in order as I'm gonna try to group them

Dividers by @wrathofrats

He's in the middle of making a record so new music soon-ish

It's not a new band, he says this is a "Randy record"

It's being produced by his friend Henry Chadwick

They'll be in the studio this weekend to record more stuff

.

Someone said "I hope you're taking care of the Mothman enamel pin I gave you" and he said he transferred it from his jacket to a pin board in his room to keep it safe so he doesn't lose it

"Do you still have the Sunken Teeth Bracelet I gave you at the SLC show?" he said "Yes I do! Anything that anybody has ever given me, I still have and I cherish cherish cherish everything that people take the time to hand me and make. 🙏🏻 I'm very appreciative. You guys are awesome"

He was fucking around a bit with a delay to make voice effects and said "I'm just trying to add some production value, y'know, just a little something, know what I'm saying?"

At one point he did something with the delay pedal and then said "never mind that was dumb and I've embarrassed myself"

He's excited to see the new Nosferatu

He doesn't have a dog but wishes he did

He's from the Bay Area

He drinks sparkling water

He's been watching The Sopranos for the first time (he's on s6)

He hasn't seen Twin Peaks

He hasn't gone to Spirit Halloween yet because he thinks he should wait for Lucy to get back from tour so they can go together

He hasn't watched Longlegs because he's "been busy doing stuff"

He's playing with Sweet Gloom in Santa Ana and San Diego on the 9th and 10th of August

He hasn't watched Over The Garden Wall

He really liked the Danzig dance scene in Abigail

If he was to get a Nightmare Before Christmas tattoo it would be of the masks that the three kids wear to represent him and his siblings

Someone said bring the 'stash back, he said "I don't think so"

He hasn't been to a Rocky Horror shadow cast and the thought scares him cause he doesn't want people to touch him while he's watching the movie

Someone asked which chipmunk he is, he said his sister Alyssa dubbed him Simon, herself Alvin, and their brother as Theodore.

He's not doing any overseas gigs any time soon

He said he's trying to recharge creatively and physically

He's an Aries

He uses the Ernie Ball regular slinky 10-46 guitar strings in the green pack

Someone asked if he plays mermaids he said "of course"

If he was a muppet he'd be "The Count. Obviously"

He has not listened to BRAT

He mains Dry Bones on Mario Cart

He likes Halloween because he thinks the weather is nicer, he likes sweater weather

He's never watched Baywatch

He gets scared of walk-through haunted houses

He is not going on the next Alkaline Trio tour

He likes Sisters Of Mercy

He has 10 or 11 guitars

He's been playing guitar since he was 11 or 12.

He takes his coffee with lots of sugar but Lucy drinks hers black which he "could never"

He doesn't know what he's gonna be for Halloween

He's not watching IWTV

He wants to visit Salem and the cemeteries in New Orleans

He has paper bats strung up on his shelf and he said "The bats keep my record collection safe. From... the sun! Idk."

He hasn't watched the new Deadpool movie

He likes The Shining

.

"I'm a real vampire, it's confirmed"

"I can fit in your pocket. I can get in there, for sure. IIIIIII can get in that pocket"

Someone asked how tall he is and between questions he said "I'm 6 feet tall", "I'm LIKE 6 feet. I don't know what I am, I haven't measured myself since I was 12 so who cares", "I'm like 6ft on a good day. People shrink, fluctuate. Who cares. Who cares about anything", "Yeah I'm like 6 feet on a good day, it's not that big of a deal. 6 feet is like NOT that tall. Maybe? I don't know", "I'm ACTUALLY 7 feet tall. Let that be the takeaway from this." and finally "I'm two bats tall."

Someone in the chat said "Basically 6ft is not 6ft, why do men lie?" and he responded "I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm just a boy"

Favourites:

Vampire movie: The Lost Boys, he later mentions it was filmed in Santa Cruz which is close to where he lives and he hangs out at the bridge sometimes

Beatles song right now is "I'm looking through you"

Chappell Roan song: Red Wine Supernova

BoyGenius song: "probably Satanist" but he really likes the first EP a lot

The Strokes song: either The Adults Are Talking or Last Nite

Cryptid: Mothman

Newer horror movie: Nope by Jordan Peele

Tattoo of his: ballerina on a tightrope or the crocodile underneath her

He owns a first pressing of Goddammit by Alkaline Trio and it's his favourite record of all time

Someone asked him to rate the 1990s ninja turtle movie out of 100 and he said "It's probably 100, it's maybe my favourite movie"

He can't pick between Creature Of The Black Lagoon and Dracula, they're his two favourites from the Universal monsters

Dogs or cats? "Dogs"

Metallica album: Master Of Puppets

Misfits song: Night Of The Living Dead or "Astro Zombies is always a favourite" and he did specify Danzig Misfits

Spirit World song: ULCER

Dracula: Bela Lugosi

System Of A Down song: Toxicity

Guitar model: Fender Jaguar

Dead Kennedys song: Kill The Poor. He said Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables is his favourite DK record.

He likes MCR, his fav album is Three Cheers and fav song is I'm Not Okay

Fall Out Boy song: Dance Dance

Fav song EVER: Sleepwalk by Santo & Johnny

Animal: Bats. No specifics, he said "I like 'em all!"

Alkaline Trio song from the new album: Shake With Me

Halloween candy: the pumpkin reeses cups

Concert: He saw Green Day do a secret show at Gilman Street which is a really small DIY venue

Thing about touring: he likes to see the friends he's made over the years cause he doesn't get to see them often

White Claw: Raspberry. He doesn't like Black Cherry so he gives those to Lucy

Cemetery he's visited: Hollywood Forever

AFI song: Fall Children

Zombie Film: Night Of The Living Dead

Horror movie actor: Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee

Pokemon: he's a Charmander guy

Place to travel: "My bed. I love sleeping"

Food: Pizza. He said he's a pineapple on pizza guy.

Liv was in the chat and ask for a toy shelf tour

Pee-wee Dracula painted by Matt Skiba, given to Randy as a gift

He has a Green Day tour poster from when Dog Party (his gf Lucy’s band) opened for them and he said “super proud of Lucy, she’s the best”

Funkos: Rivers Cuomo, Dracula (which the lady at walgreens didn't charge him for), and Twenty One pilots but he's trying to get rid of his funko pops

He’s trying not to collect things anymore

Kiss Alive figures

Ozzy bark at the moon werewolf eating a mini brand ball taco

Ninja turtles 1990 movie figures

Fake ninja turtles ice cream

Alkaline trio Campbell soup cans from the my shame is true record

Metallica figurine setup

He thinks he has about 500 records on his shelf

Someone asked for a tattoo tour and he said "that would take too long" but he did show off his arm and speed run through some of them.

tooth

flower

moth

birds

crystal ball

rose through a heart

ballerina + crocodile

bats

skeleton

panther

scorpion

His first tattoo was a mermaid on an anchor on his upper arm. Her tail is "seafoam green" which he said is his favourite colour.

Most of his tattoos are in a traditional style, but he said he's "got some crazier ones" on his leg.

Ones he didn't specifically mention but that I've seen from photos:

a broken arrow

an astronaut lady

bats on his collarbones

portrait of a lady on the back of his arm

a few random roses scattered around

a large flower on his elbow

(what looks like) a rose inside a diamond with a straight razor underneath

(what looks like) a mummy/wrapped sarcophogus

Legs:

dagger and rose

Elvis TCB lightning bolt

a small flower with a smiley face in the center

creature from the black lagoon

[newtdrawz]

WAITWAITWAIT HEADCANONS FOR TWO AND PONYS FRIENDSHIP?!(!(!(&(& PLEEEEASEE I LOVE YOUR HCS

YESE AHHH I'm so glad cuz I love making them 😭

I love Two-bit with my whole heart and I love their friendship SO MUCH 😭😭 the amount of older brother figures this kid has is insane 😭

OK SO,,

Two honestly loves Pony, loves him like a brother and Pony does too

When Two first met Pony he was pretty young (idk the ages of the gang when they all first met and I cannot find it anywhere 😭 so I'm taking it into my own hands) and he was honestly obsessed with him

Two always wanted a little brother so whenever Pony would tag along with his brothers Two would be pretty happy abt it while mostly everyone else was a little annoyed lol

Two was never really bothered when Pony followed him around or asked him a million questions while they were all out with the gang

Two always tries to get Pony out of his comfort zone, but not the way Dally does 😭😭

Two tries to encourage Pony to get out of his shell and get out more

He tries to get him to talk to girls more too (which honestly most of the time goes south 😭😭)

Two was really the only one who was able to get Pony out of the house after Mr. And Mrs. Curtis died, he was persistent enough that it ended up working (Soda and Darry thanked him a million times but Two-bit said it was no big deal) (he does the same thing after Johnny and Dally)

Two will steal gifts for Pony while Pony makes gifts for Two

Two-bit will steal art supplies for Pony or anything that he see's and makes him think of Pony

One time he stole like a pack of bookmarks that he thought where funny ("you'll never believe what I found, it's bookmarks with worms reading books!")

Pony will try and draw Two's favorite cartoon characters, especially Mickey Mouse, and give them to him

Two gets really excited each time and he'll hang them around his room at home or keep them safe in a box

Two has unspoken permission from Darry and Soda to give Pony talking to's when he does something stupid

Two also tries to keep Pony out of trouble the best he can, he also tries not to steal when he's with Pony incase someone calls the cops or anything

If he catches word of Pony doing something dumb or hanging out with people Darry specifically told him not to hang out with (COUGH CURLY COUGH) Two will swoop in, pull him away and scold him a little before his brothers can hear anything about it ("You're lucky I caught word of you doin' somethin dumb before Darry or Soda did. I'm not gonna tell em, but don't let me catch you doin it again.")

Two honestly doesn't want Pony to turn out like anyone in the gang so he tells him out right to not do anything he's doing (like how Dally does) ("You see me stealin all the time but don't go out and try and copy me, alright?")

Two-bit is ALWAYS rough housing with Pony 😭

Any chance the two get they're wrestling on the floor

Two-bit's obviously a little stronger then Pony, but Pony's faster

Two will lift him up or hold him down to try and win but Pony will run and try and tire him out to win

Darry HATES when they wrestle in the house, Two-bit tries to remember to wait till they get outside but he always forgets 😭

Two-bit and school do not mix but Pony somehow gets him to do work

They end up having a class together and it's the only class where Two-bit does the work/homework, only cuz Pony tells him too

Pony is NOT about to mess around in class and he outright tells Two-bit that 😭 (he's not trying to get the teacher to call home and get him in trouble)

The teacher is honestly bewildered (a little scared too 😭😭) to see Two-bit sitting quietly and doing actual work. They're even more shocked when he turns things in (are half the answers wrong? Yeah. Did he still do it and turn it in? Yeah.) (It's not that he's dumb he just doesn't care 😭)

Two-bit always tries to sit with Pony at lunch and get him talking. (Pony's honestly so quiet at school so Two tries to also get him out of his shell there too lol)

Pony honestly thinks Two is the funniest person he knows

Pony idolizes a lot of people but Two-bit is definitely on that list, maybe top 5 of people he idolizes.

Pony would never tell him or anyone that but he really does look up to him

He gets a little jealous of how extroverted Two can be and how confident he is so he tries to copy him just a little bit 😭 (like how Johnny pointed that out in the book lol)

He honestly doesn't realize how many mannerisms he's picked up from Two until someone points it out (Steve's the first to point it out and Pony gets so embarrassed but Two is honestly overjoyed by it)

Ah ok!! This one was really fun to do too!! I loves this duo sm 😭

I hope I did them justice 🙏 again anyone feel free to add on!!

(Again sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or if this is ooc 😭😭 I'm trying man)

[bellascool]

IDIOT

masterlist

request on my profile

posted : 13/02/23 (European date)

He knew you had trusting issues but he still did it.

long ass chapter, 3400 words so put yourself il a confortable position

edit 10/04 (European date) : wanted to change Bella to Y/n as I saw people didn't like it but it was way too long so I'll keep Bella for that story, sorry again enjoy !

You were currently in french class listening to your boring teacher talking about how you have to "conjuguer au plus-que-parfait un verbe tout en utilisant une proposition subordonnée relative"

Thankfully, your family came from France and talked to you in french at home which made your french classes way easier.

You sighed and started doing your exercises, not paying attention to the group of boys who were talking about you right behind your seat.

You were used to people talking about you for no reason at all.

You finished your exercises and since there was 30 mins until the class end, you decided to sleep on your desk.

-

You opened your eyes after someone gently rubbed your shoulder making you lift your head to see who was the kind soul who didn't let you sleep there.

"Désolé je t'ai réveillée mais le cours il est fini depuis 10 minutes et le bureau il est pas confortable si je me trompe pas. (hey I'm sorry for waking you up but the class ended 10 minutes ago and the desk isn't comfortable, is it?)" the guy said putting a hand on his neck

It was Kylian, a guy from your class. He plays for the national France football team and was really good to be honest.

"Ah ouais j'ai pas vu le temps passer merci. (oh yeah I didn't pay attention to the time thanks)" you said back putting my backpack on your shoulders

"Je savais pas que tu parlais couramment français tiens (I didn't know that you could speak french fluently)" he stated next to you while you two were heading to the rooms of our university

"Kylian tu m'as littéralement parlé français après m'avoir réveillée (Kylian you literally spoke to me in french after waking me up)" you chuckled at how lost he was

"Ah ouais merde j'suis con (Oh yeah shit I'm dumb)" he laughed while putting his hand on his forehead realizing how dumb his question was

"I prefer speaking english tho" you switched languages which made him look at you with a 'girl what' face

"Why? French is a beautiful language too"

You sighed, he didn't knew why you denied my french side after all.

"Let's just say I have my reasons" you stopped in front of your room door, now facing each other "anyway thanks for waking me, have a wonderful night" you mumbled before entering your room, about to close the door

"Bella wait!" he blocked it with his foot making you open it again "I enjoyed your company, can I uh.. maybe have your number please?" he looked down probably embarrassed

"Oh yeah sure, give me your phone" he smiled while handing me what you asked, you put on your phone number and gave it back to him

"Merci! See you tomorrow!" he finally turned around and left

Did Kylian Mbappé, THE Kylian Mbappé just ask for MY number?

You thought that to yourself, screaming in your head.

He was a pretty boy but your trust issues had to break the moment.

You had several issues with trusting people after your past relationship and it clearly was annoying for you to always have to be careful with everyone.

You sighed and went to your bathroom to take a hot shower.

-

After doing your night routine, you laid down on your bed and took your phone, now noticing that you received messages.

Hey it's Kylian :)

Hii, what's up?

I was actually walking outside and saw a bakery, and you know what they were selling?

hmmm idk maybe bread?

Bella..

Okay okay sorry tell me

Macarons!

Oh

What? Macarons are great and it's french, our country!

If you say so lol

I was wondering if you would like to come eat some macarons with me tomorrow after school?

You stared at your phone with your heart pounding on your chest.

AAAARRGHHHHHHHH

Sure! I would love that :)

Nice! I was kinda scared to ask tbh

Why? I should be the one scared of what you would ask!

Hey!

You talked for hours, getting to know each other and without even realizing, you put my trust in him.

You now believed that he was a nice person.

Kylian I'm going to sleep, I'm tiredddd

You're leaving me alone? :(

Yes shut up

Mean.

Anyways, good night! <3

Good night ma belle :)

You smiled at the name he gave you, it meant "beautiful" in french and you loved it.

You went to sleep with a smile on your face, imagining scenarios with the french boy.

-

You woke up feeling better than any other day.

You've made a new friend, he's Kylian fucking Mbappé and he invited YOU to go eat macarons with him.

You got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to get ready.

After getting your hair, outfit and makeup done, you grabbed your backpack and went to your first class, which was maths.

Oh you absolutely hated maths. You understood but it was so damn annoying.

You entered the class and sat on your usual desk, grabbing your stuff.

The class was about to begin but Kylian still wasn't seen, his friends were there but not him.

You didn't really pay attention, focusing on your work.

The math teacher started his class when the door swung open, revealing a breathless Kylian.

"Mister Mbappe, you are late !" your teacher said annoyed

"I'm sorry, I had training this morning!" he apologized, heading to the seat next to you

"I'll let it pass this time but you better find another excuse next time!" the man said before continuing his boring class

Kylian took a pen and pretended to pay attention when he didn't

"Are you going to not say hi or??" he whispered turning his head to see your face

"You're so dramatic, hi Kylian, did you sleep well?" you sarcastically whispered back

"Hi Bella, actually no."

"You didn't get your goodnight kiss? Want me to give you one next time?" you took a childish tone to make fun of him

"Actually yeah, I would love that"

Your eyes widened a bit unlike your cheeks who were flaming hot now, he probably noticed it since he started laughing

"No but seriously, you're still down for the macarons right?" he asked after calming down

"Of course!"

"Good, now I have a reason to be excited to finish school" he mumbled thinking you didn't hear but you did and it made you smile

The rest of the day passed really fast to be honest you didn't even notice that english, your last period, was over.

You happily packed your things and got out of the university, waiting for Kylian.

He kept teasing you all day which made you appreciate his company even more.

After 5 mins, you saw him walking towards you, his hands in his pockets, a smile on his face.

"Finally, I thought you would never come" I said while rolling my eyes

"Sorry, I had to give my homework to Mr.Julien, you know he hates when we give it late" he apologized

"All good, let's go I'm craving some macarons right now." you said before grabbing his wrist and walking

"Bella you don't know where the bakery is." he laughed while you were getting red, embarrassed

You let his wrist go but he didn't appreciate it so he gently grabbed your hand, interlacing your fingers which made your heart go crazy in your chest

You walked to the bakery who was 10 mins away while talking and mostly making fun of your teachers, you laughed so much that you didn't notice you were arrived.

You entered the small bakery and headed to the counter.

"Hi, welcome to Petites Gourmandises, what can I get for you?" a lady asked with a smile on her face

"Hello, we'll take 15 macarons please!" Kylian said next to you, still holding your hand

"15 macarons for the cutest couple!" she said while putting them in a small box, you felt your cheeks getting red and Kylian chuckled at the nickname

"We're just friends!" you said laughing too

"Oh honey, friends don't hold each other's hands and friends don't look at each other as if they were about to kiss in a minute!"

Okay now you were really really embarrassed and Kylian not saying anything made it even worse.

You tried to take your hand off of his but he wasn't going to let you do that and held it even tighter now.

"Your total will be 30.99 please!"

You took out your wallet but he grabbed it from your hands and put it in his pocket.

"Bella, when you're with me you'll never ever pay" he said while scanning his credit card

"But-"

"Don't start." He cut you off

"There you go, have a wonderful day!" the lady said while handing you the box

"Thanks, you too!" you both said before going to a table, you sat face to face which means you stopped holding hands

"You know, I'm glad we became friends" he started while opening the small box

"Me too, I always thought you were like narcissistic and the kind of person to act superior because they're famous or something" I said before stuffing a strawberry macaron in my mouth, they're so good oh my!

Kylian dramatically gasped, putting a hand on his chest as if he was hurt

"How dare you?" he gasped

"Kylian you're acting like a bitch right now" you were laughing so hard at his manners

"Says the one who thought I was narcissistic!" he said in a bitchy tone making you laugh even harder as he joined you

After some minutes of laughing, you both took a calm mood again, smiling at each other

"Bella I have something to ask you" he started with a serious face

"What is it?"

"Why do you keep denying your french side"

You sighed knowing that one day he would have to ask the question.

"It's not easy to say, y'know" you were playing with your fingers, you always do that when you're stressed

"I don't specially want to talk about it in public to be honest" you said as you felt tears filling up your eyes as you remembered the reason

"Let's go to my room then" he proposed

"I-" you took a deep breath "okay fine let's go"

The way back to the campus was silent and it was better like that. It wasn't even uncomfortable.

You both made your way to his dorm room and he opened the door, revealing his little space.

It was nice, you were actually expecting something really fancy since he had the money but looks like he wasn't that type of person.

He sat down on his bed and you did the same, looking at the ground.

"So.. If you didn't knew already I grew up in France. I had a loving family y'know, I was an only child but I was never bored, my parents would take me anywhere I wanted to go" you smiled at the thought of your perfect little family "but like we say, nothing ever lasts forever. My mother started to be less and less present at home, my father believed that she just worked more so it didn't really matter." you paused, not wanting to cry in front of him

He must've felt that since he slowly took your hand, holding it tightly.

"He later found out that she actually was seeing another man, but the only man turned into multiple. He went crazy the night he found out. I was 9 but still scared of what I heard. He insulted her, calling her names and he started hitting her. I tried to do something but I was still a little girl and couldn't do much" a tear slipped from your eye and you felt a knot forming in your throat

That's when he wrapped his arms around you, gently stroking your hair

"You don't have to tell me, if you feel uncomfortable you can stop" He slowly said as you tried to calm down

"It's fine, you'll have to know one day" you held him tightly and continued "He beat her until she was unconscious, blood all over her probably dead body. When he realized what he's done, he couldn't let me there because he thought I would call the police." you did your best to stop the knot but it kept growing "he grabbed a vase and hit my head with it. He kept hitting until I feel unconscious too. If my neighbor didn't hear screaming, I would've probably died too. That night, I lost my mother and my father." That was when you couldn't keep talking, you had so much more to say but you just couldn't speak

Kylian just hugged you, slowly kissing your head as he felt his shoulder getting wet from your tears.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't knew, I promise I'll stay with you until you feel better" he whispered against your hair, making you smile

You were glad that he knew what was going on.

-

You were doing your makeup, preparing for your date with the french boy.

A week has passed since you told him and since then, he didn't leave you and made you feel better like he promised.

He invited you to go watch a football match, he knew damn well that you loved football but never had the opportunity to go watch a match.

You smiled as you left your room, he said he would join you in the entrance of the stadium so you just called an uber.

-

You were now searching for Kylian, there was a lot of people and him being a celebrity doesn't make it easier.

You suddenly felt someone grab your shoulder which made you turn around to be met by a familiar gaze.

"Kylian now why the fuck are you wearing a cap with a mask and sunglasses?" you asked confused

"I don't want people to ruin our moment" he said before you both headed to your seats

The match began 5 minutes later and you could feel him being strange

"Is everything alright?" you asked watching him worried

"Bella I know this isn't the perfect moment but I.. I think I fell in love with you" he said turning his head to see your face, he had taken off his sunglasses so you could watch his eyes

"Oh." was all you managed to say

"Oh I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said that" he started to apologize but you cut him off by pressing your lips against his, making him smile

You pulled out for air as he lightly smiled

"Shut up I like you too" you joked making him chuckle

"I'm glad then" he said before taking your hand in his, intertwining your fingers

You kept cheering for the team until it was halftime. Kylian received a text but you couldn't see what it was

"I'm sorry I have to use the bathroom real quick" he apologized before heading there

Okay there was definitely something going on.

You trusted your instinct and followed him, hiding behind a wall as he was with his friends from the university.

"Enfin (finally)!" one of them yelled

"Bien joué mec t'as gagné ton pari (Well done man, you won the bet)"

"Ça a pris du temps à la faire tomber amoureuse hein (it took time to make her fall in love huh)" his friend joked punching his shoulder

"Ouais je sais mais vous me devez tous 200 balles maintenant (yeah I know but you all owe me 200$ now)" Kylian said while laughing

"Ouais ouais ta gueule t'es millionnaire (yeah yeah shut up you're a millionaire" they all laughed

"N'empêche elle t'aime vraiment hein, t'as vu elle t'a raconté quoi? Sur sa famille (I mean she really likes you huh, did you see what she told you? About her family)"

Your heart skipped a beat, he told them?

"Je sais mec, j'étais trop gêné quand elle a pleuré (I know dude, I was so embarrassed when she cried)" damn. "mais au final je pense- (but in the end I think-)" you cut him off by throwing him your soda making all of them turn around

"Un pari, donc j'étais un pari pour toi. (A bet, so I was a bet for you)" you laughed, realizing how dumb you were for believing that a guy like him would ever love you

"Attends c'est pas ce que tu penses- (Wait it's not what you think it is)" he tried to explain as his friends laughed

"L'écoute pas, c'est carrément ce que tu penses, il s'est bien foutu de ta gueule (Don't listen to him, that's exactly what you think it is, he used you)" his friend said while laughing making you realize that it's sad

"Regardez moi je m'appelle Bella et mes parents sont morts sous mes yeux ouin ouin je suis traumatisée (Look at me my name is Bella and my parents died in front of me, I'm so traumatized)" his other friend mocked you, making your eyes fill up with tears

"Les écoute pas, je te promets je peux tout expliquer! (Don't listen to them, I promise I can explain)" Kylian tried to apologize but you just shook your head

"Tu sais quoi c'est bon, c'est ma faute d'avoir pensé une seule seconde qu'un mec comme toi pouvait s'intéresser à moi. En tout cas félicitations, t'as gagné ton pari, j'espère que t'es content pour tes 2 balles en plus sur tes millions. (You know what, all good. It's my fault, I shouldn't have believed one second that a guy like you could ever be interested in me. Congratulations, you won your bet, I hope you're happy to gain 2 dollars amongst your millions)" you turned around and mixed to the crowd, hoping he wouldn't find you

Tears running down your cheeks as you left the stadium, leaving pieces of your broken heart there.

You felt so dumb for believing in it but that was your fault for trusting him so fast.

You ran to the campus, it was 10 mins away, the plain moon enlightening the cold city.

You arrived to your dorm room and slammed the door behind you before collapsing on your bed, tears flowing your face.

You felt so embarrassed.

You didn't even wanted to go to school but you had to and you knew it.

You didn't even notice that you fell asleep.

-

The day ended, Kylian didn't even come to school but his friends did and made fun of you all day.

You didn't even pay attention to them. It was useless.

You headed to the dorms but bumped into someone, you almost fell but the same person grabbed your arm, helping you not to fall.

"Thank you I didn't see-" you started but immediately stopped when you saw who was standing in front of you

"Oh." was all you said before pulling off and walking past him

"Bella attends! (Bella wait!)" Kylian started, trying to grab your wrist but you managed to avoid it

"Commences pas (don't start)" you opened the door of your room but he still followed you

"2 minutes. Laisses moi 2 minutes pour tout expliquer. (2 minutes. Leave me 2 minutes to explain everything)" he said begging making you sigh

"Dépêche toi. (hurry up)"

"Oui, au début c'était un pari. C'est vrai. Mais je te promets je suis vraiment tombé amoureux de toi, je t'en supplie crois moi si je le pouvais je retournerais en arrière pour refuser ce pari à la con et je serais venu vers toi parce que t'es vraiment une personne géniale. (Yes, at first it was a bet. That's true. But I promise I really fell in love with you, please believe me if I could I would go back and decline the stupid bet and I would've came to friend you because you're really an amazing person)" you couldn't even look at him in the eyes

"Si t'es vraiment sincère, tu m'expliques comment ils ont su pour mes parents? (if you're really honest, could you explain how they find out about my parents?)" you asked, crossing your arms on your chest

"Y'avait Mathieu dans ma salle de bain mais je te jure je le savais pas et quand je l'ai découvert c'était en même temps que toi, hier et je peux t'assurer qu'ils se moqueront plus de toi. (Mathieu was hiding in my bathroom but I swear I didn't knew and when I found out, it was yesterday with you and I can assure you that they won't make fun of you anymore.)" he told you as he grabbed your shoulders, forcing you to look at him in the eyes

"Je sais pas Kylian, tu m'as vraiment blessée (I don't know Kylian, you really hurt me)" you said with teary eyes

"Et je recommencerai plus jamais, une seule chance. C'est tout ce que je demande. (And I'll never do that again, one last chance. That's all I'm asking)" he slightly smiled making you join him

You slowly leaned over and your lips connected in a passionate kiss.

You deserved to be loved too and he did.

You pulled out and put your forehead against his with your eyes closed.

"T'es vraiment un idiot. (you're really a dumbass)" you chuckled

After all, a boy like him could love a girl like you.

[ribbonsandhair]

Hello! Glad to see this!

In that case I'd be happy to request for Valeria with a bestie readerrr YESYESSS😈😈

Tbh I've been starving for this for months.

Idk, just them bonding so well, maybe the reader is in the cartel with her, or is a simple civilian that valeria ended up being deeply fond of!

A kind-hearted and kinda dumb-ish(not naive though) reader and her just being like, "[name], please💀"

And reader having this really gen-z-ish humor, i just think she'd be so confused and pissed cuz she doesn't get the joke sometimes. Maybe reader is just like 2-1 year(s) less than her? + If they're hispanic too!😭😭😭

Sorry for my rambling💀💀💀

OH MY GOD HELLO AGAIN!!!! I LOVED WRITINF THIS SO MUCH I WAS ON A RAMPAGE 😭😭😭 I hope you enjoy this just as much as I enjoyed writing this!! Thanks for requesting babes!!!

Valeria Garza

Where do I START.

So, first, you’re Latino. Duh.

You’re a civilian that was lucky enough to meet Valeria.

You two probably met while getting coffee. You thought she looked pretty, so you complimented her.

“Hola, nada mas quería decirte que me gusta tu cabello!”

She was a little confused why a random person just complimented her hair. She still liked it, nonetheless.

“..Gracias.”

You were a little scared that you made her u comfortable, and after you got what you wanted from the cafe, you went home to cry.

“SOY TAN TONTA. OSÉA!”

You went back to the cafe, since it was your regular spot to just hang out to read a book. You were familiar with most of the employees.

And then, you saw HER.

YOU SAW VALERIA.

You didn’t know if you should just go up to her and apologized while making yourself look even more stupid, or just sit there.

She just SUDDENLY SAT DOWN IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOUR MIND WENT INTO PANIC MODE.

“AY! Oh. Hola!”

She just chuckled and said hi back.

And that’s how your closest friendship bloomed.

Since you’re younger than her, it’s most likely your humor is pretty deranged.

You’ll send her random pictures of god knows what, and say hi right after.

“[Name], por favor.”

You text her super late at night, like three AM.

“Si no te chingo por despertándome en las tres de la mañana–”

Either that or you rant about how you’re glad that she’s your friend because you just finished watching a super sad movie.

“[Name], are you fucking crying.”

You playfully scold her everytime she curses. Which is like in every sentence.

You’re a little dumb, so you end up being pretty clumsy. Without her, you’d be dead by now.

She uses that against you every time you don’t wanna do a favor for her.

“Remember that one time I saved your ass from falling face-first into the concrete? Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought.”

You aren’t aware of her being the leader of the cartel that has corrupted Las Almas. So sometimes she’s hesitant with you.

She won’t respond to your messages for days due to work, so you end up worrying about her. If you ask her why she was gone for so long then she just responds with, “I was pretty busy.”

But she makes it up by hanging out with you for a while, specifically drinking.

On a similar note, you invite her over to have a few drinks with her. Just chill.

When you drink, you become more jokeful and just insane overall.

“Haha, kinda wanna kill myself. Anyways, how’s your day?”

Sometimes concerned with your humor. Can’t tell if it’s just how Gen Z humor is or if you’re that mentally I’ll.

And whenever you two drink together, you guys turn into those Latina moms that will go insane at parties. (I have a good amount of experience with this as a Latino myself.)

Dancing together, blasting music, it’s entertaining.

You also end up talking about chisme.

“Did you hear that my neighbors just got a divorce?”

“Dime más.”

And whenever she goes to your house, she always has a gift. Especially an expensive one.

It can be from some good wine, to straight up clothes and perfumes.

“How did you get the right size?”

“… Instinct.”

(She somehow got information about you.)

Valeria just hopes that she can keep you safe from her job, and doesn’t get you killed. She tries to avoid starting anything that’s super close to you.

[brainwashed-parxie]

❤️ SOUL/STAR/AWSTEN THEORY POST 🪽

GREATEST HITS -

FUZZY ,

I think, since GH is from Awstens perspective, the demons in this song are actually Star and Soul.

"Me myself and I" in reference to the three of them.

"I'm really not a bad guy, Step into the good light, Say a little prayer for you, yeah

Kill another demon - You know what I mean, man

My brain just needs a little bit of cleaning."

The demons, the "little bit of hell", are obviously both Star and Soul. Manifestations within Awstens mind, his brain. Plus the obvious "prayer" connections and the focus on good/bad.

"I'll be waiting, On my ceiling, Glowing in the dark." This one is a stretch, but I think this line is about Star - with "I" being Star.

The glowing green crosses from the music video on his face, etcetera, idk. This one is dumb.

"Now I've gotta go,

I'm running and I can't stay here

I don't want another timeline

Me, myself, and I talked and we can't leave you here

I hear them getting close,"

I believe this line is about the property, leaving and escaping the property. With "me myself and I" yet again being Awsten, Soul, and Star. I think "them" is referring to the gas-mask figures we see within the property, the people enforcing it all.

I think he was afraid of Soul and Star at first, seeing them as demonic or hellish figures, before growing to be closer with them and work together.

I think that concept ties into -

SECRET LIFE OF ME ,

I think the "evil twin" line is about both Soul and Star, which I've said before.

"When I fall asleep at night, I wish my brain could sneak away, Increase my pace and hop the gate and travel to another plane."

Obviously this shares lines with Sneaking Out of Heaven, and if the property is heaven - this makes a ton of sense alongside everything else.

With Star being the one who actually has "snuck out of heaven" and escaped the property, Awsten wishing he could do the same yet being afraid he will fail, and Soul being scared to leave at all.

" First I'd find my evil twin, Then I will make best friends with it,"

Again, this entire segment is about Awsten actually growing closer (ha) and bonding with Soul and Star, trusting them and them being the reason he realizes they need to leave the property behind (with the property itself being a metaphor for heaven and religion, the shame and guilt alongside religious traumas, etcetera.)

"Wishing for a someday, I could run away like that

Now I think I need a life or maybe nine, 'Cause I feel like I'm running out of time, yea

Someday maybe on a Sunday, I can sit and sunbathe,

I could run away like that

Now I think I need a life or maybe nine, 'Cause I'm feeling like I'm running out of time."

Again, in reference to someday hoping to leave the property behind and live without it. With Sunday typically being called a religious day, it's hard not to draw this connection.

"Yeah, it might take a couple planes and parachutes for my escape, jump face-first into the sun,"

Ties into hopping the gates, escaping, etcetera.

Honestly this entire song is about dreaming to leave and escape, live peacefully in a world without the property and its restraints, with the 'secret life' itself being that daydream/wish.

With obvious ties into Stars "sneaking out of heaven" and - if Star and Soul are manifestations of Awstens own mind, I think this daydream is where Star truly stemmed from at the beginning.

"Yeah, maybe paradise is somewhere deep inside the halls or walls - Where I've spent all my time,

Building my whole life, Where I feel alright

'Cause I never wanna leave the secret life of me

The secret life of me,"

This ties into what I just said, paradise is the daydream. The secret life is Awstens daydreaming about escaping the property, but there is a sudden tone shift in the song around this point.

"Real life never feels like it's mine, So I'll dissociate until I'm fine, until I'm fine. .

I keep my eyes wide shut, Live a secret life for fun,

Away from anyone and everyone."

I think this is that fear of failure, scared of failing to escape the property - the effects of the property shining through in the first line. This could be a result of Soul being afraid to leave at all, mixing with Awstens fears of failing.

Choosing to remain lost in the property, keeping that wish as just that - a wish/dream, which is what makes Star upset, with him being from that daydream, with him having escaped before - its why he mocks the twos fears in his own song. He knows its possible to leave.

I think this creates the conflict between Soul and Star, obviously.

Which, leads me to,

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY -

ST*RFUCKER ,

Obviously the first lines reference FUZZY, with the limo/window parallels, which I think supports the idea of at least Soul being one of the demons mentioned within the song.

I think its more important to view the "hidden" or background lyrics in the song, since both Soul and Star have those lines.

"So destroy my world, I'll tape the cracks,

'Cause what you give out's what you get back.

I'll stop the world, I'll tape the cracks.

What you give out's what you get back."

I think Souls 'world' here is actually the property, since he doesn't want to leave it, he's afraid of leaving the property, he's lashing out at Star for trying to leave and escape. Lashing out at the concept of leaving what he knows, so he's reinforcing the property and attempting to keep himself, and thus Awsten, stuck/lost inside. He's undoing whatever Star is trying, he's viewing Star as the bad guy for trying to leave / leaving before.

Soul is upset over that daydream, the wish to leave, he's angry at Star for escaping once before, so he's trying to destroy that wish, and remain inside. Which could be reason for the tone shift in Secret Life, as I've stated in that section.

The conflict and fighting between Soul and Star is incredibly interesting with this view on them.

With Soul representing the fears of leaving those traumatic environments and experiences, and Star representing the want to escape and live happily and truly in a better place.

I don't have much more to say about this song specifically, and I feel like everything else I've said covers it pretty well.

I'm also skipping breaking down Sneaking Out of Heaven, since I've already covered that topic while bringing up the daydreaming and connections with Secret Life, but if anyone wants me to talk about it, just ask!

So, now let's finally get into..

SOULSUCKER ,

Oh boy, I'm excited.

"We never made it out of the loft, let alone the property, 'Cause Awsten's scared of fucking failing, and you're just scared to leave.

Jesus Christ, how sad is that?

If depression had a masterclass.

I'm the only one who can get us out, so pray to me instead and I'll save you now."

The 'We' is talking about all three of them, since Star alone has made it out before.

This is why the next few lines are mocking Soul and Awsten, Star thinks it's ridiculous to remain within the property - though it seems he's giving Awsten a lighter jab than Soul, as the conflict is mostly between Star and Soul.

I think the last lines are calling back to the speech before the live debut of SOULSUCKER, "everyone is a god once you leave the property" - Star has been out before, he can get them out. He knows how, he's done it once and can do it again. He wants to save them, and save himself as well.

"One of us will end up hurt,

But you can call me St*rfucker."

I think this is a sarcastic jab at Soul lashing out, since their names are insults towards each other and not technically real names - I think their real names are Soul and Star, not Soulsucker and Starfucker.

Also, talking about how no matter which side wins, leaving or staying in the property, one of them is going to end up suffering - if not both.

"You carry guilt, you carry shame,

I know the weight."

Star knows how damaging the property is, and he does understand the reasons they're afraid, but he also knows they need to leave. He empathizes, sympathizes even, with those feelings.

"Asleep in the dark in the back of the deep end,

I’ve been living on a 12 month weekend,

I'm the little bit of hell that leaked in.

Picking up from the floor to the ceiling."

This line obviously references a lot of other songs, notably Snow Globe, and in my opinion - Fuzzy. Again, fueling the connection concept.

Referring to himself as Hell, could be in relation to the property viewing them as a manifestation of sin and falling from heaven, or it could be referencing Awsten calling them demons, and it possibly could be him sarcastically accepting the fact he is being demonized by Soul.

"I watched you meditate, medicate but I'm here still

If I'm already dead, I can't be killed."

This I think is about Awsten, watching Awsten do things to attempt to remedy the effects of the property without actually leaving it. Star, and by that logic Soul as well, is still there. Star is still trying to get them out, and won't stop trying.

Also, "kill another demon" could easily tie into this, and I think it does.

I also think death in this context is falling from heaven, escaping the property, etcetera. He can't die again, if he already did, but I'm not super positive on that one. Idk lol

"I'll love a God when he loves me back."

More about the religious trauma aspects of the story, Star is able to think like this and say these things, disconnect from the concepts of religious teachings and fear, because he's escaped the property before.

Also, looking at the Luciferianism themes of the album, this line is really interesting as, yet again looking at "everyone is a god once you leave the property" and the "pray to me" lines, it seems Star sees himself as something similar to a godlike figure.

(Removed a few "yeah"s to make it shorter)

"I'll stop the world, I'll tape the cracks, c'mon. What you give out's, what you get back, yeah

I'll stop the world, I'll tape the cracks, c'mon. What you give out's, what you get back.

Destroy the world, yeah, I'll tape the cracks, c'mon. What you give out's, what you get back, yeah."

This part is very obviously a direct response to Soul, and again - I think the world here is the property, while the cracks are the damage the property has done to them all. While also being more direct lines to Soul, more jabs at him.

"Destroy the world, I'll break the cracks, c'mon

So sell me out, yeah, I'll stab your back."

I think this line specifically is one big final mocking jab towards how Soul is demonizing Star.

A sarcastic response to the claims he is doing something bad by attempting to leave the property, etcetera. A little hard to explain, but I hope you understand what I mean lol

This concludes my big giant lore post, but seriously expect so much more!! I cannot wait to find out more, and I'm always ALWAYS trying to come up with more types of theories here!

I cannot wait to be proven, most likely, wrong about all of this when we learn more! 💚

[pain-is-too-tired]

Am I the only one who's kinda getting bored of the "haha Percy is blonde like Will, the you're not my type scene is gonna be so funny" or whatever?

Specifically because Walker looks nothing like how I imagine Will?

Like yeah, he's blonde. But not the blonde I see for Will? It's a darker tone. Plus He does not have lanky cat stretched out in sun vibes sorry y'all

That, and Nico never specified he meant looks when he said Percy wasn't his type.

Cause if we compare Will and Percy they're different in a lot of ways.

Will's a healer, Percy's a fighter.

Will is described as laid back and appearing a lot more harmless then he really is. Why Percy is constantly being described as frightening and even godlike. He's a whole storm why Will's a cat stretched out in the sun.

Both are stubborn,but Will is a lot better holding in his more extreme emotions. It takes a lot more for him to be loud when going back and forth with someone. He can sound annoyed but he hardly ever sounds angry.

That and Will can calm down others like Clarisse, why Percy ends up matching them in attitude at some point.

Like I said, Percy's a fighter which often leads to impatience as usually in a fight its so quickly placed. You have to strike first before your enemy gets you. His adhd is a lot more hyperactive.

Will on the other hand has to balance patience and speed. Rushing can be dangerous, but you also can't be too slow or else chances of your patient dieing grows. It applies to how he interacts with others too.

And I honestly think that might be why Nico clicked more to Will. Will just has more patience to get through to him. He gets upset but he keeps his cool. Literally,iirc, they were in LITERAL HELL before they had their first true out right fight.

Idk why it urks me so much now. It was funny at first but it feels it's been beaten to the ground.

I think a lot it is also I feel Will is way too often chopped down to Nico's "hot therapist boyfriend". That y'all literally think of Percy was blonde that's all was needed to be Nico's type again. Like that's all that makes Will his type.

Heck, think about the fact Percy hardly ever defenseless. If he doesn't have his sword he has his powers.

Nico's thoughts on Will why he was literally going on about him in boo is that despite his harmless figure. Despite being a healer and not a fighter. Will rushes in to battle, even volunteering to scout on a enemy right after DELEVERING A BABY AT 14.

I think Nico found Will a lot more welcoming because Percy is just too much like him in some ways.

Sure, they can outsmart opponents, they're not dumb or completely dependent on their weapons and abilities. But without them they're a bit more unsure of their next moves. We see that Nico,despite being on the verge of dieing, still instinctively relies on his abilities. Though we don't see a similar case with Percy, his abilities is what makes him great enough to go toe to toe with literally gods. Nico's connect to death related abilities radiating from him was enough to scare back monsters.

Both need someone who isn't as use to being able to depend on weapons or godly powers strong enough to topple armies. They need someone to keep them grounded.

It's why Will and Annabeth click so well with their respective boyfriends. Annabeth constantly coming up with plans, she has only really her wits and a small blade to get her the upper hand. AND SHE DOES SO. I'm sure if Percy was in a situation where he couldn't use any of his abilities and either without his sword or couldn't depend on it as well, she would easily think of a plan and keep him from over doing it.

Will,like Annabeth, doesn't have the same powerful aura that his boyfriend does that keeps others literally backing away.

But he still managed to walk past Gemini without being stopped. I refuse to believe that he can't handle himself in battle like TSATS tried to say.

Anyway, really excited to see baby Will in the show in a few years fhdh

[thegeminisage]

ok! it's time for a ds9 update. last night we squeezed in "move along home" and "the nagus."

move along home (ds9):

i am Informed this is a divisive episode but honestly i had fun w it!!

nice 2 see jake always. every time jake is on screen w his dad sisko my best friend sisko get to exude good dad energy. love that.

like. please. he's gonna give jake the talk? at 14??? 14 is too late. he knows everything. also lmao the fact that nog there ferengi where women don't wear clothes told him everything. i'm choosing to ignore my annoyance with ferengis as a whole and find that funny because of sisko's reaction

reasonably funny antics between quark and odo here. i am getting a little tired of odo not getting anything to do besides flirt with quark, but then i have to remind myself that odo had an episode all to himself quite literally six episodes ago, it's just our insane watch order + bad batch and natla coming out that makes it feel longer to me

quark like screaming on his knees begging not to have to put someone to death when nbody was gonna die anyway was actually really funny, but i do like the nuance in his kneejerk reaction when he found out the pieces were people, which was to forsake pride and ask odo to play for him. he could have gotten defensive for the bit, which he did do later, but his first reaction was to be scared which is like completely normal and went a long way towards humanizing him in an otherwise VERY silly episode

my favorite moment of this episode, besides the part where they hotboxed the shap, was when those little balls of light were coming towards them and sisko was like FIND COVER and julian bashir, instead of finding cover, stood directly aainst the wall they were aiming at, ass first. and then died. i want that twink obliterated.png

the nagus (ds9):

thank you to whomstever warned me about this episode

it was not good and it did suck bad. i think this was the first real dud ds9 gave us (i'm not counting the q one cuz that was basically a tng episode in disguise). i feel like it would be sooo easy to walk back some of the really awful elements of the ferengi but instead of doing that we have chosen to crank them up to 11. sexism, antisemitism, etc etc...

my other problem is that. and before anyone gets mad i have a touch of faceblindness. I CANNOT TELL THOSE FERENGI APART. they gave two of the ferengi the same nose and i was totally lost trying to follow the plot.

quark holding the idiot ball. he's dumb in his own way because everyone on that space station is using their last brain cell but he's also very shrewd. so it just felt off. and again odo had nothing to do except flirt with him but that's a me problem

BUGS FOR DINNER. i hated this episode in more ways than one

THAT SAID. we finally got to see o'brien again! and shockingly i really really really really liked the b plot

i did go blind with rage when nog got pulled out of school. yes. but the rest of it.

first of all it's really funny that jake is running around with nog all the time and their families are both going DON'T!!! and sisko is like Oh No My Son Has Discovered Girls when there is every evidence he is even now discovering boys

SECONDLY sisko reminding o'brien that one day his adorable little three year old will be 14 and the light leaving o'brien's eyes

but my favorite part is that jake wasn't being late to curfew because he's a bad kid or falling under a bad influence. he's a GOOD kid doing an AWESOME thing. idk, it was really sweet that like, even when sisko was like "yeah racism's bad but with ferengi it's different" jake was like "is it? :/" and then went right on teaching his buddy how to read. and now he's earned dad's permission to hang out with nog finally. it was a fun little subplot that i didn't realize was going anywhere and then it did. a very pleasant surprise and kept the episode from being a complete drag.

also, dax coming it and daintily sampling sisko's soup or whatever, then deftly getting rid of sisko so she could help herself to a giant heap lmao. queen

anyway, even though that's definitely been the worst ds9 ep so far, it wasn't NEARLY as bad as some of tng's duds. i'm thinking specifically of "code of honor," "violations," etc. like it could have been so much worse. i'm not going to delude myself into thinking we're past all the clunkers just yet, but i was still expecting a solid hour of agony and what i got was not that. not good by any means but not tng. whew!

TONIGHT: "starship mine" and "lessons" from tng. thots and prayers🙏

[polyamorouspunk]

hii taking you up on your advice offer 😭 ur poly so maybe u have more experience with this than me, how would i break up with my longterm partner?

we’ve been dating for 2 years, it really has seemed perfect but lately idk its just felt wrong. we’ve kinda planned our lives around eachother and moving in together once we graduate, but i cant make myself want to kiss them or be romantic anymore, i dont want to respond to their texts, i get annoyed at them for no reason. they havent done anything wrong theyre wonderful its a “its not you its me” situation to a T.

all of our friends are mutual friends, but most of them were technically my friends first (all the people they used to hang out with sucked) so im scared if we break up they wont have anyone to talk to about it. i really dont want to hurt them.

i honestly might realize this is just me being dumb and all of this will pass and ill want to be with them still once it does, but since i have no clue how id break it off i feel so trapped. i want to know i have a way out if things dont get better, i want to stay with them because i truly changed my mind not because i didnt have a choice.

Not in a poly sense but just a “have had a few relationships” sense I guess I can offer advice.

So I’ve never actually broken up with anyone before, except for the last guy I was messing around with (Catboy) just because as much as I had sooo much feelings for him it was like the most unhealthy “relationship” for me. Like I finally realized like “oh I’m actually NOT better off seeing him, my mental health is ACTUALLY worse” because of his shenanigans.

However, I did have a long term partner who I dated for 6 years who we had plans to move in together and get married etc. same kind of deal, all their friends were my friends. And they dumped me, and yeah, it was really fucking hard even though I knew everyone was going to take my side. And the one person who didn’t I ended up not speaking to anymore because I was like if you’re not going to realize that I’m the only one whose going to keep talking to you because my ex doesn’t give a shit about keeping in contact with people, then that’s on you.

I was devestated. This was like 3 years ago at this point and pretty much right up until about this year I felt like I was somehow “living in the wrong timeline” and like my entire life’s trajectory had been pulled out from underneath me. Not from the breakup so much as them just deciding they never wanted to speak to me again, that I was bad for their mental health, etc. which I always told them if I’m ever bad for your mental health then break up with me, and I meant it and stand by that and their decision, but it still fucking hurt.

Like if that’s what they had to do that’s what they had to do. If that’s what you have to do then that’s what you have to do. While I am of course resentful to my ex, and I hope they get hit by a car or something sometimes, I do stand by their decision that if I wasn’t good for them then I’m happy they left me behind. I don’t know if other people are going to have that same view upon being dumped. I mean like I said I still hate them. But to say that they should have stayed with me for my sake is hypocritical.

Not only that, but an issue of intimacy was occurring between us during the lead-up to the breakup. And as soon as I wasn’t with them anymore and I was able to be with Catboy instead I got a taste of what I had been missing and GOD it felt so good. For the first time ever I felt like someone actually wanted to be intimate with me. It was an amazing feeling. My ex dumping me opened up the door for me to have things I was missing in that relationship. So it wasn’t all bad, for sure.

You have to do what you have to do for yourself. You come first. If you need to break up with your partner, or take space, or whatever, you just have to go for it if you really think it’s what’s best for you.

[aesrot]

your thoughts on minecraft lore are so fucking sexy. tell me more

TEEHEE YES <3

i dont have muuuuch more atm bc i. im dumb and i never write them down. but rn i have a hc that pillager patrols do some sort of recruiting, bc you never see children among illagers, so where would they get new people? they probably 'recruit' (aka, kidnap) villagers who are outstanding or 'gifted' (like, who probably have some ounce of magic, so they'd go through some training and would become evokers). this could also happen to the babies villagers who weren't killed during a raid.

less likely and i'd have to do some more thinking and researching to develop this other hc but maybe we dont see their kids bc they live somewhere else while growing up. underground? in some of the hidden rooms in the mansions? a completely different place? who knows! maybe they have a some sort of quarters or district where they all go through some thorough training before they're old and/or good enough to join the patrols and raids. also, i believe in the pillager<vindicator<evoker hierarchy. pillagers can work their way up to vindicators, but evokers are their own thing, if you dont have magic abilities you cant become an evoker, which makes them rare and powerful and all that. idk where the illusioners fall into this tho, as unused mobs i know very little of them, but i'd say somewhere above vindicator and below evoker, could probably work its way up to an evoker through training.

in my perspective, patrols, as well as all illagers groups, are like an attempt at some sort of oppressive government (or maybe religious group?). the patrols are, well, as the name suggests, a patrol, they're keeping watch and looking for any 'trouble', attacking villagers and golems probably to scare them. Raids are more destructive, i'd say they're caused by a threat to the illagers (like the player, despite said player's reputation w the raided village, although i like to believe that, in this worldbuilding, thats not the only reason they raid a village) and not only attack the player, but also the village, killing every adult villager, taking their sources and children, leaving a clear message of what's waiting for the others if they dont behave.

as for the villagers, they're pretty much defenceless in these situations, unable to harm literally anything. you could even hc that they're vegetarians, since all they eat are vegetables and bread, despite butchers selling meat and stew. why are they so pacific? they dont each other, other villages, mobs, nothing, and any villager who's relocated to another village will get along w them just fine, despite biome difference. you could try a religious approach to this. their only defence is the iron golems, who show up naturally or summoned by the villagers, another thing that could be explored through a religious approach (which, imo, is probably different than the illagers religion, if we go that way). the only way for a villager to turn hostile is, again, turned into a witch or a zombie, which immediately outcasts them.

you could also think 'huh, so to be accepted by the villagers you have to be passive, the moment you turn hostile, you're not welcome anymore', and yeah, pretty much if you ignore the golems ability to kill mobs (they're more like neutral mobs i think). makes sense when it comes to the player as well, w the whole gossip and reputation thing when the player saves or trades or kills/harms a villager, but theres math to that so i wont touch it lol. overall the villagers are major pacifists, shame the illagers are totally taking advantage of them.

this is all losely based on my own knowledge w minecraft, there might be some stuff that goes against game rules but who cares, im having fun. i probably have more thoughts but i forgor, will bring them to you once i remember/have more <3

[screampied]

hiiii. so, first i just want to say that the feeling is mutual, because i’m always looking forward to your replies to my asks, like giggling and kicking feet typa shit!!!

second of all, i’ve realized that if you do a scream theme, it would be perfect because of your username?!?! ngl i wish i was creampied by billy loomis

i used to look at those people eating and drinking pumpkin flavored stuff and i would gag, until i realized it probably taste like a famous pumpkin candy in my country, so yes, pls try it and tell me if it’s sweet and good. i’m a very picky eater and i can’t stand pumpkin, unless is for decoration and eating bits and bits of the said candy.

also, yeah, fuck scream 5. it was awful, i love gale and dewey, it was so unnecessary what they did to them, and proceeding to fucking kill him??? ain’t no way, i punched my tv.

classics are truly the best. ngl, i don’t like new horror movies, they are always lacking something. i did, however, enjoyed the movie talk to me from a24, but i saw it more as the metaphor (drgs) instead of possession, so yah…

NOW SHUT UP HIP PIERCINGS? AND BELLY BUTTON? oh i know u a bad bitch, like i can’t help but stan more. ☝️

how was your day today, btw? i finished an edit for my theme that was pissing me off and now i’m just waiting for the one person i’m comfortable with to be online so i can show and be like “gimme ur opinion 🥺” and they are sincere af so if they hate it, imma kms, i see no other option.

oh, also, this week i got a hate anon and i kept laughing because?? it’s so random, people are really miserable and funny sometimes. it’s like a certificate that their life sucks, idk.

AND YES, i’ll be showing myself for you, probably on october 1st, like nosferatu coming from the shadows, hihi.

nut anon

omg ur so sweet, hugs 🫂🫂.

FUCK UR SO RIGHT. a scream theme bc it’s literally in my url what are the chances 😋 plus my username was even based off scream omg we’ll see. that’ll be so sexy ughhhhh october hurry.

im kinda scared to try pumpkin lowkey. im also a picky eater and i feel like ill puke 🧍‍♂️ like ive smelled it and its okaaaay i guess but idk if i can handle it paha. if i do try it, ill tell u how it goes trust.

good fucking bye i can talk a whole rant about how AWFUL scream 5 is. out of all the movies, it’s the worst in my opinion. the only thing i loved about it was the opening scene—jenna ortega’s portion, she made me continue watching it 🙂‍↕️ plus she’s mother, i love her downnnnn. AND UR RIGHT. !!!!! LIKE DEWEY ?????? i get he had to die at some point but his death was so stupid. like really. just say you hate him. scream 6 totally redeemed itself tho now that is a SEQUEEEEL. only thing i hated about scream 6 was the killer reveals. the motive was understandable but dumb . LOLLL im such a hater but man ✋🏽 do you think neve is coming back for scream 7, i hope so and they better give her the pay she deserves bc i miss my final gyal 😔

TEEEHHEEE THANK YOU POOKIE 💋 i bet you’re an even badder bitch <3 my day was good !!! i was busy out half the day sight seeing and going to a nascar race showing near me which was sooooo cool. a bird shat on my car window which was totally uncool 😒. SLAAAAY omg i bet it looks so good.

booo hate anons r so unserious. i remember i got one months ago and just rolled my eyes because you could be like … saving the world ✋🏽 or idk doing crossword puzzles instead of talking shit to a silly lil stranger on the interweb. ppl be bored ig. don’t let it get to u tho bae !!!! ur amazing mwah

[dulcewrites]

you will hopefully watch hotd s2 and tell us ur thoughts my liege 🙂‍↕️

Ok so i was thinking about how to answer this because like… I’m not going to watch the full thing 💀. I only watched a couple of the episodes in entirety. I would say the only, and I truly mean only, good thing that’s come out of the rampant leak culture within this fandom is that I didn’t have to waste my time on a show that would not live up to my expectations. Which is wild because while I was excited for s2, my expectations were low.

I think my largest problem with hotd is not the changes or the plot points themselves, but how we get there. So I’ll just give you a couple of thoughts I had by character (gonna lump some together bc how storylines went):

Rhaena, Baela, Corlys, and Rhaenys: I’m lumping them together bc that’s essentially what the show does. Now this may be a #controversial opinion but the Velaryons gave Rhaenyra’s cheerleaders in f&b so I’m not surprised that’s their role in the show. That being said, the writing is just meh? Baela not advocating for Rhaena to get the Driftwood throne after Corlys offers it to her is a strange choice. The “I am fire and blood” line from her was corny (she is her grandmother’s child lol) and just weird considering she is ALSO salt and sea because of her mom??? She was fostered by her grandmother on Driftmark?? It just goes back to this idea that everyone needs to prop up Rhaenyra. And how Rhaenyra’s plight is most important. Bc why cant Baela and Rhaena advocate for themselves while advocating for Rhaenyra.

Rhaenys had her moments but the way the writers clearly use her as a sounding board is heavy handed. Her death fell flat for me bc honestly idc. The writers handled Corlys affair poorly. But at the same time Rhaenys being a “he knows where home is” lady makes sense for her lmao. Rhaena possibly claiming a dragon is just all around a dumb choice.

Daemon and Alys: Harrenhal did the heavy lifting. I appreciate them leaning into the magic and mystery around it. It is one of the through lines that made sense and was carried out. That being said, and I’m fine with people calling me bias for this, but Daemon is simply not very interesting to me. That whole thing was at its most interesting when Rhaenyra was yelling at him.

I like the story they have began for Alys. It would have been very easy to do the seductive, evil witch thing. I like that she’s yeah off kilter but also very grounded and normal. That being said, I don’t trust them with her 🤷🏽‍♀️

Jace: I appreciate them finally acknowledging how Jace feels about parentage. He sees how fragile the lines of legitimacy are and he’s scared. I think it sets a good parallel between Rhaenyra and Viserys as parents. She is putting her children, at least Jace and Joffrey, in the same position Viserys put her in. Despite enjoying the choices, there isn’t that special something there. Idk… but that could be said about the whole season.

Rhaenyra: I… honestly don’t know what to say about her lmao. I feel like she always gets taken to a point where she can be really fascinating… then they immediately reign her back in fear she will come off “unlikeable”. Which is crazy bc it’s been established that the gp, regardless of what is actually happening, will side with Rhaenyra, so why not have some fun with her. I often walk away not knowing what kind of character or person they want Rhaenyra to be.

Whew ok now let’s get into the messy part

Criston: Easily had some of the best/consistent writing not only for team green but the whole show. But people are hellbent on hating him so much of it just goes unnoticed. The only ire I have with Criston storyline is alicole. Not them together in a vacuum (I said before i see the beauty in both alicole and rhaenicent, though both are better when things are left unsaid), but more not knowing how they got together. The hard cut to them having sex as two repressed people leaves much to be desired.

Helaena: Ummm ???? Much like how Rhaenys is just a sounding board for the writer to hammer us over the head with, Helaena’s dreams get used at the whims of the plot. Because how did Helaena go from speaking in riddles that even she doesn’t seem fully understand to knowing exactly what they mean? Either that was just something made up so she could get a dig in against Aemond (not good), used to absolve daemon (not good), retroactive try to fix problems created by GOT (yawn) or she’s always known what her dreams meant and just decided not to make them understandable (NOT GOOD!!).

She barely grieves Jaehaerys pass the funeral (that could be said for a lot of dead characters) on screen. I thought the “they killed the boy” line was weird. Why not just say his name 💀💀💀. Alicent calls him the boy too like ???? Also we are supposed to believe the bug girl doesn’t want to ride her dragon….

I think the bright spot of her storyline has been the bond between her and Alicent.

Aegon: another #controveral opinion maybe but whenever people are like poor Aegon, I just think of that clip from Big Little Lies where Madeline is like “I don’t give a fuck about homeless people!” 😭 (I swear it makes sense in context). It’s sort of the same problem for me that I had with Jace. The arc is fine, set up well especially compared to others but like… eh 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Aemond: I did like they leaned into Aemond, in public, making it seem like he meant to kill Luke. But in private clearly having guilt over it. I think it was the best choice they could make. Just knowing how insecure Aemond is, it would make no sense for him to admit to not having full control over Vhagar in that moment. It’s strange to me that people thought his resentment towards Aegon came out of nowhere. I don’t think any of the point Aemond had made about Alicent and the war were wrong but I think the sudden aggressive nature towards Helaena was weird. Like bffr

Alicent: well… where do we begin lmao. I already touched on why I didn’t care for the alicole thing. Let’s just address the elephant in the room that this whole “Alicent is free” bs isn’t real bc she’s still under the subjugation of a Targaryen - this time it’s just Rhaenyra So that’s supposed to make it better in some people’s eyes. I’m sorry but even as someone who has gone on record to say that I think the change they made to Rhaenicent was the best, I can’t just let poor execution slide. I don’t even think Alicent having little legion to Aemond or Aegon comes out of nowhere. She has constantly, to a fault, reaffirmed her trust in Rhaenyra. What I don’t like is the writers first saying that Alicent needs to be humbled… as opposed to what? The super confident Alicent that’s always winning??? Then painting her coming to Rhaenyra as her choosing herself or some sort of liberation. Ok then why can’t she say one mean word about the man that abused her? Why is it that she can see through Otto, the man who pimped her out. But not Viserys, the man who happily went along with it. Why does Rhaenyra get have a moment where she realizes much her desire towards daemon was envy for what daemon represented. Or realizing he is a tool in her subjugation. But Alicent continues to insists that Viserys was a good man, father, husband, and king… all things that aren’t true.

People will be like “well she’s an abuse victim of course she would feel that way.” But if the narrative continues to tell us one thing, it is clear the writers actually think that. By those rules, they don’t see Alicent as a victim. And there lies the issue in how they write her.

There are plenty of other people who have expressed the problems with Alicent’s writing better than I have but this is just my thoughts.

[strangertheories]

Honestly, byler to me has become a stressful 'thing' now i cannot even enjoy it due to the whole discourse and drama surrounding it lol. Also it feels like the shipping culture kinda died because people just stopped shipping things for fun but it became a match where you have to prove your ship's 'validity' 'morality' or how it actually exists in canon and it should exist in canon (for this and that reason), and you have to constantly prove yourself that you are a master analysist and you Get The Narrative and that's why you ship this ship and if it doesnt become canon then it means the writing is dumb/poor and im like..? You dont really have to do all that and i get that sometimes feeling so passionately about shipping is natural part of fandom and i have been there and done that too, but this whole narrative and mindset surronding it is just really tiring. if a ship makes you this stressed and traumatized and if it happens you say stuff like 'imma kms' maybe just kinda take a step back idk. I ship ron/nce and i adore their dynamic, but i am well aware that it is not going to happen even if i see a certain level of dynamic between nancy and robin. and i get that it is different for will since will is canonically into mike now but the overall point still stands. you can still like a ship even if it doesnt become canon you dont have to try so hard to prove its existence or validity since the shipping is usually supposed to be... fun.

Anon, I'm convinced I somehow sent this to myself because I'm exactly the same. I get being critical of the show's queer rep and plot if Byler isn't canon or being disappointed which we saw a lot of post volume 2, but yeah. Being a Byler shipper has become not fun™ and it's become a requirement that you think it's going to be endgame in order for you to ship it. And I also think the sense of superiority a lot of Byler shippers have about being great critical thinkers or having media literacy can make it feel scary to ever question anything anyone ever says, although most people were actually quite supportive when I spoke about this. All of that to say, letting go of Byler endgame before S4 has been great for me; I love analysing and theorising about Byler without the pressure of needing it to be canon.

And I know people will read this as "you shouldn't be bothered by the show using Will" but what I and I believe the anon is trying to say is that fandom should be built off of fun and wanting your ship to have content because you enjoy it, not because you're terrified it's not gonna be canon. Easier said than done, but I think you need to take care of yourself and your mental health too. I'm not famous or anything but I have quite a few followers now and I'm not going to lie or guarantee 100000% that it will be canon because I just do not know and I genuinely think people's mental health will be damaged because they've been hyping up an expectation of ST5 for years.

If shipping Byler has become too stressful for you, try take a break for a bit (I've been posting less over the last few months partially because of this too). Especially since we all have hiatus brain where expectations and theories become more and more wild because we have to keep digging deeper into the same content. I'm so scared that S5 will come out and it doesn't happen because I like a lot of people in this fan community and if Byler isn't canon, we'll get angry posts for a couple of months and maybe some theories about interference or deleted scenes (this happen post S4 a bit as well) but then it's gone ): the community revolves more about being 100% sure Byler will happen instead of enjoying the pairing of Mike and Will so without canon Byler, I don't know what will remain.

Thanks for the ask, anon. Also Ronance forever! <3