#im mostly worried about my mom rn

[comet-wire]

Hey! I hate to ask for handouts and don't mean to come across as such, as that's not what this is for necessarily. I've been meaning to work on commissions, as in actually setting it up and working on the info itself and with the unexpected passing of my father on Jan 30th, I'm going to try to do just that when I have time or if it comes down to it, if we're stable before or as I'm getting a job it'll be different, there's a hiring freeze at the place I'm trying to get into so the guy will get back to me whenever he can. Right now I'm spending time with family during this time as my mom and I figure stuff out during our free time. My dad was the one who covered the mortgage payments so I just want to help my mom pay for it so we have a roof over our heads, I don't have a job yet and am waiting for a slot where my parents worked and my mom is taking time off and using vacation/sick time to be paid before she has to go back. Issue is, her last paycheck is coming up. We're also trying to figure out stuff with a grief counselor, but I digress. It's only my mom, me and two cats now. The mortgage is a little over $700 a month and I don't want her to do everything by herself and be alone. So, if I open commissions and I'm still drained as it's been hard for me to even pick up a pencil I will start off with small things (like sketch comms, MLP comms, etc) just to get things started. I still have to figure out if I want to open a shop of my own or mess with sites like redbubble, I'm still figuring out Kofi for tips and payments there. I will update with the full information soon once everything is settled if I can. I'm just tired and mentally exhausted, possibly still going through shock, so I haven't felt the energy to keep up conversations so if you think I'm ignoring you, I'm not! I apologize if it's ever come off as such, things have been hectic. Anyways, I wish you all the best and hope all is well!

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

dude my mom is so delusional i genuinely dont know how she got this far in life

[lynnsquared]

In My Dreams || stepsis!Yves x f!Reader

an : so i'm sorta kinda taking a little break rn but i didn't want to just post nothing this month.. 😭🙏 this little fic is just me trying to branch out and write things i'm not exactly used to, i guess!! plz enjoy (to everyone who has sent in requests please understand i see them and i will work soon.. life has been kind of messy and im sure if ur a student u will understand the stress at this time of year so plz just.. know that i will get to you soon and that i am not ignoring you)

cw : stepcest (duh), wet dreams, somnophilia, dubcon??, scissoring, uhhh i'm not sure 😭 both yves and reader and pervs but focuses mostly on yves sooo, not proofread, kind of shitty bec i've never written somno or dubcon or anything with a plot like this so this is more like a warm up round

wc : 1.6k

A string of soft moans left your mouth at the feeling of Sooyoung's gentle hands fondling your breasts. Her nimble fingers grazed over your nipples as she bit down slightly on your neck. When you winced at the feeling of her teeth sinking into your skin, Sooyoung hushed you.

"You need to be quiet, sweet thing. Mom and Dad might hear you."

In response, you attempted to keep your lips sealed tight. You tried to keep everything in while you shivered from your stepsister's affectionate touch. You could feel the damp spot in your panties becoming more and more obnoxious as it got wetter. Sooyoung seemed to be preoccupied with your tits, so the most you could do to soothe yourself was press your thighs together and let a few quiet, needy whines slip from your throat. She noticed immediately.

"Aw, you're already so excited. You wanted big sis to touch you so bad, right?"

You nodded eagerly. Sooyoung's eyes were hungry and almost predatory as a smirk formed on her lips. One hand snuck off of your breast and down to your panties, feeling your erect clit through the fabric. She rubbed delicate circles and cooed. She knew you were wet, but the extent to which you were was slightly shocking.

"Needy girl, you're soaking.."

Sooyoung chuckled before she pushed your panties to the side and effortlessly dipped her middle finger into your cunt. A sharp moan fell from you as her finger caught you off guard, the sudden contact feeling unexpected but satisfactory nonetheless. You quickly slapped your hand over your mouth to make sure your parents wouldn't hear and tightly gripped onto her shoulder with the other. Before you knew it, Sooyoung's thumb found its way to your clit, and she was-

-Awoken abruptly. Tonight was the third night this week that Sooyoung had a wet dream about you, her younger stepsister. These dreams started a few months after your parents got married. At first, she felt so much shame, but now they'd just become a part of her life. You found Sooyoung odd because she rarely spoke to you, but this shame was the reason behind that. She could barely stand facing you, so the idea of talking to you was infinitely more horrifying. She was afraid of these desires. She was worried about her ability to control herself around you, so she closed you out entirely. It's been an awkward few months living with her since then, but she assumed this was for the best.

She sighed as she woke up, shaking and sweaty. She slept in only her tank top and panties, and she could feel the dampness between her thighs when they pressed together as she sat up. She rubbed her eyes, switched her light on, and looked at the mattress. There was a stain from her slick. She cursed under her breath and scratched her head. This was the most intense reaction her body had after a wet dream.

She felt a little shame, but she couldn't shake the feeling of arousal. She sat up, stretched, and checked the time on the clock on her dresser. It was 11:30. That was late, but not late enough for you to be asleep. The thought of you being awake now turned her on for some reason. She was uncontrollably wet, and it only got worse with the sudden urge to go into your room and beg for help. 

With shaky legs, Sooyoung stood up and moved towards your room as quietly as possible. She turned the knob to your door and gradually pushed it open. When she noticed your lamp was still on, she opened it faster, assuming you were awake. She stepped in, turned around, and shut the door before analyzing her surroundings. She immediately noticed that while your lamp was on, its light was dim, and you were asleep on your bed. 

As perverted as it sounds, your sleeping face turned her on.

It turned her on a lot.

No amount of guilt she felt could've surpassed her desire. Her guilt wasn't even apparent when she crawled into your bed. She stared at your sleeping face and flushed. You were so pretty when you slept. She couldn't help but let her hands wander past the band of her panties. She started to touch herself softly, coming in contact with the immense amount of slick she'd produced in her sleep. When her fingers grazed over her clit, a sharp but still quiet moan escaped her throat. She analyzed every detail of your face. She could tell you were in a deep sleep. 

That's when something hit her. You were the deepest sleeper she'd ever seen. She recalled a few months ago when you'd watched a movie with your parents. You fell asleep on the couch after 30 minutes and stayed there until morning. She remembered being shocked when you didn't stir in the slightest, as the movie was incredibly loud. Your inability to be disturbed when you slept gave her an idea. 

Slowly, Sooyoung sat up. She removed her hand from her underwear and flipped you onto your back, looking for any signs of disturbance before continuing. When she was confident you were undisturbed, she pulled off your shorts, leaving you in your panties. She faintly blushed when she saw them. She almost snapped back to reality and realized how perverted she was acting, but she couldn't stop herself.

She took off her panties, then yours, biting her lip when she revealed your crotch in its entirety. Looking at your face again for discomfort, she lifted your legs and spread them slowly. When she got you to a position she believed would be the most comfortable, her desire consumed her again. She placed her clit against yours and bit her lip. Your eyebrows kneaded together, a quiet groan coming from your throat. Sooyoung, as worried as she was about you waking up, couldn't hear you. She was lost in her pleasure as a string of drool fell down her chin. 

Just sitting with your clits pressed together eventually wasn't enough for her. She started to hump your pussy in a slow rhythm, holding back a whine with every movement. She was desperate to get off and even more desperate to feel your body against hers. She couldn't help but go faster, her lewd behavior fueled by the feeling of your cunt pulsing against hers. You liked it. You liked her... Even if you didn't know it.

Sooyoung was eventually unable to hold back her noises. She picked up her pace and panted, the occasional grunt slipping out as propping one of your legs up to deepen the contact between your folds and hers. She threw her head back and sighed, coming closer and closer to her orgasm. The room was silent, except for the subtle slap of your thighs and her grunting. That was until the silence broke unexpectedly. 

You shifted a bit before groggily opening your eyes. You were immediately alarmed when you realized you were naked from the waist down, and even more so when you felt your stepsister rubbing your clits together and moaning like a fool. She didn't notice you woke up until you spoke softly. "S-Sooyoung..?"

With that, her movements didn't cease but slowed. She looked down at you with wide eyes and a flushed face. She was so horny she couldn't bring herself to stop or even acknowledge how you might've felt. She just placed one palm over your mouth frantically and hushed you. "S-sis, shh.. It's ok, it's just me.."

You whined, partly because of discomfort but also because it was impossible not to when her erect clit hit yours. You would be lying if you said you'd never fantasized about her as well, and you were too tired to tell her to stop. If you were in your right mind, you wouldn't have been so afraid. 

Sooyoung spoke as she removed her hand from your mouth, placing it back where it had been before as she sped up again. "I-I'm close, let me finish... Let me finish, and I'll go away.."

As she continued, you started to enjoy the feeling of her body on yours. Moans and pleas for more fell from your throat as you could feel yourself approaching your orgasm as well. Sooyoung huffed before she winced sharply and ceased her humping. Her cunt twitched as she pressed it tightly to yours, a layer of cum coating your pussy before you came as well. You came shockingly fast, but she'd been stimulating you for as long as you were stimulating her. It was only so shocking because you woke up in the middle of it.

Sooyoung was a little surprised when you gave in and came. She expected you to be afraid and push her away, but you didn't. You had the same reaction as she did. She was ecstatic.

Instead of leaving like she said she would, she flopped over next to you and panted, pulling her panties back on. She looked at you with her slightly teary eyes and spoke softly. "I'm sorry, sis.." 

"No, don't apologize.." You muttered, your face flushing as she stared at you. "It's fine... I just have to process that." 

Sooyoung fell quiet as your words fell on her ears. You really didn't mind that? What a dream come true. Silently, she clung to your side tightly and let her eyes flutter shut. She grew drowsy again as you sighed, but she didn't expect you to speak again. "We have to talk about this tomorrow, though." 

She nodded, agreeing to talk with you. She nuzzled as close as she could and let herself drift off, you following her into sleep shortly after. It was more than obvious that it didn't matter how much you tried to satisfy each other. No matter what, you would keep meeting Sooyoung in her dreams and making her crave things she never knew she needed.

[fueioekjfisks]

Im so sorry im losing my absolute mind but please hear me out for a second.

Mild tw for implied SA - NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED PEOPLE JUST THINK IT HAPPENED

You know the common misunderstanding au in the danny phandom rn about vlad being a creep and people thinking hes like a CREEPY CREEP and not just a supervillain creep?

Well imagine danny is going on break or something and his dad wants to bring the whole family up to vlads castle for whatever reason.

Danny, obviously, does not want to waste his ONE FREAKING CHANCE of getting some god damn sleep being tormented by vlad and his stupid birds. Plus, vlad will probably plan some big murder plot for his dad and danny CAN. NOT. HANDLE. THAT. RIGHT. NOW.

So danny decides to make a PowerPoint presentation about why he doesnt want to go.

Obviously he cant reveal vlad or his own halfa status so its mostly just really jumbled information about vlad being creepy.

He gets backup from sam, tucker, jazz, and even val. He also knows his mom already dislikes vlad and knows hes a total creep so all he really needs to do is convince his dad.

But??? As hes compiling evidence??? And rehearsing his presentation with hes friends??? He realizes that it sounds super fucked up???

And like, it’s mostly just bad without all the context. But he realizes that Vlad is actually kinda sick in the head. Danny knows he would never actually do something that terrible, but its supper concering how similar his actions are to like, actual bad people.

Danny isnt mad about it or anything, he’s actually just worried about it Vlad.

Danny is not perfect by any means. But Vlad is the only other member of his species besides, like, his fucking clone (which holy shit Vlad what the fuck) or maybe dan who is also fucked up.

Danny knew that Vlads death definitely messed him up, but he never really thought about Vlads actions beyond “obsessive fruitloop, at it again :/“ and is just now realizing that vlad might need psychological help. Which he feels pretty (REALLY) bad about.

Danny has no idea what to do, and no idea who to go to.

So he sneaks out, doesnt even go ghost as he takes the powerpoint to vlad who obviously freaks tf out because holy shit thats SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING HE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY IMAGINED. What if he had actually hurt daniel? What if he had hurt his precious Madeline?? He needs help like yesterday! How did he ever get so bad???!

So Vlad freaks, trashes his own house, apologizes to danny, and books it through the portal to find the far frozen or somewhere else he can get help.

Danny is somewhat shellshocked about the whole situation. It doesnt get better when people start investigating Vlads disappearance.

The state of the manor indicates foul play and the police look into it further. Find security tapes. They see danny, frazzled and paranoid, enter Vlads property, everything goes to static, and only danny leaves.

Hes arrested of course, and he and his friends/family are interrogated.

Everybody vehemently denies that Danny would ever do such a thing, but when they are asked if danny has potential motives everyone (except for jack) gets all squeamish.

Its practically common knowledge in Amity Park that the mayor and the weird Fenton child had beef. People just were unsure why.

I think it would be really cool to focus a story around the polices pov of the investigation/ random Amity Parkers interpretation of the events.

Danny being kinda creepy after the accident (because death) could totally make people assume he did it and that would be awesome.

We can also add in de-aged Dani/Ellie and or Dan for that extra spice.

Imagine the fentons finding out about Dannys supposed kids in the context that they are MOTIVES FOR THEIR SON TO MURDER THEIR COLLAGE FRIEND ( AND DANNYS OWN GODFATHER) WHO APPARENTLY GROOMED HIM???!? AND THEY DIDNT EVEN NOTICE??!?

This could totally be a crossover too. Lucifer tv show. Batman. Supernatural. All are good.

Anyway, thought this could be kinda interesting

Please continue if you want

[bandsandwristbands]

it’s me ur bbgrill tell me yuor 1-4 headcanons rn

gettin grilled by the bbgrill

Level 1!

hhhh i mean canon does not give much to work with imo

Firstly Lee and Gaara are massive shit talkers.

Lee got that chronic pain, dawg, like regular shooting pains and nerve issues but he doesn't say anything cuz he doesn't want anyone to worry or feel bad(👀Gaara *cough*)

Gaara ups his tai jutsu training (I think this is canon in filler lol) but Lee helps him out by sending over reference material all the time. The homies tell Lee that he's overdoing it but Gaara keeps and studies everything Lee sends.

Speaking of studying I think Gaara had to study hard for the bureaucratical aspects of the Kazekage spot. (Probably mostly shadowed Baki for a long time) Like strength is a given but he was totally on his own when it came to education and diplomatic stuff because he was pushed through the academy purely through fear and nepotism. Not to say he isn't smart, once he starts in on something he's similar to Lee in that he goes all in, it becomes a whole aspect of his personality.

Level 2 💥

Sorry but Gaara still has mood swings and struggles to regulate his emotions. He masks real well, king of compartmentalize and dissociate lol but mans lashes out sometimes. Especially before shukaku is extracted like he canonically is not allowed to sleep his neural pathways are fried. He does try to not let it on to anyone because it Freaks People Out for obvious reasons. (The gaalee here is that Lee doesn't gaf about moodswings because he is also TooMuch sometimes, just a very accepting guy so he's someone Gaara can be less under tight emotional control with and he tries to offer healthy outlets hiii gay thoughts and mushy feelings)

Also he cries way easily, sometimes he just chillin and he's like aw fuck not again, cuz the fatigue and stress manifests or just feeling generally overwhelmed(*references 1(one) scene in shippuden*)

Level 3 !

Gaara is a brat, a little shit, a bit of an instigator even. Lee is one of the only people who can really challenge him on his attitude when he's being a menace. Temari and Kankuro too but Gaara knows how to push their buttons too well loll

I mean the guy definitely misuse his authority sometimes (usually for the greater good but sometimes just to be sneaky)

Lee is spiteful and has a greedy streak in the sense that if he wants to go for something, he doesn't gaf if he 'deserves it' he'll earn that shit for himself and then rub it in your face but somehow be polite about it. Utilizes malicious compliance often.

Gaara is a picky eater, certain textures bother him and specific foods he just won't eat, he later explains to Lee that he's been poisoned a few times and even the smell of certain foods makes him feel violently ill as a result. It tasted fine when he ate it at first but his body remembers the pain and fear quite vividly. Lee goes out of his way to be courteous of this. Alternatively Lee will eat anything on principle of not being wasteful.

Level 4!! (The ones im slow cookin at all times)

HELLO RELIGION/CULTURE HCS Gaara gets into reviving old Suna traditions and sponsors more regular celebrations to rebuild a sense of community outside of the military state previous Kazekages had been building. (This wins over a lot of Old Head civilians because they remember when practicing and appreciating their religious figures was commonplace) In general Suna becomes a lot more colorful and lively especially in the years post war. Art and clothing and jewelry actually becomes a pretty decent trade asset. The regular big celebrations encourage more tourism, helps the economy and helps with their perceptions as this harsh, conservative village.

Also his Mom was from the aboriginal tribes of Suna and so getting connected with that part of himself feels like getting closer to her.

Lee Officially Courts Gaara following Sunan tradition (w/ lots of help from Tem, Kank, team Gai) in front of the whole village, my guy is a romantic and audacious af and really it sweeps Gaara right up off his feet.

Established relationship, Gaara is seriously outrageous with PDA, very much likes to flex his Lee because he didn't think he'd ever have anything close to a loving partner and Lee eats it up(blushing profusely). They're so gross and in love that whoever invites them anywhere will receive a formal warning about their behavior.

The sand sibs have a punk band together for funsies. It's mostly Kanks hobby, but post chuunin Baki shares a couple old man cd's with them and they just start banging out songs here and there to spend more time together and process their feelings in an abstract way.

(I project my gender onto Gaara a lil too; uses he/him cuz that's what everyone is used to but doesn't necessarily think of himself as anything specific genderwise, he was just a monster for twelve years afterall. Dabbles with feminity sometimes but doesn't think too hard about it.)

[eddywoww]

hi i don’t wanna overstep, and if i am pls just ignore ! but if there’s anything we can do please let us know. we all care about you beyond the user and fandom content and want the best for you and your family’s wellbeing. i know they’re probably vent posts, and i 100% respect the hell out of that, but i just wanted to let you know that i hear and see you and if there’s anything that we can do for you, please don’t hesitate to let us know <3

you’re one of my coolest mutuals and i’m always absolutely blown away by your writing and appreciate how much you do for the fandom, and i know other people do, as well. you’re loved and appreciated and yeah - sending you only the Best <3

If it comes down to it, I’ll start a gofundme. It’s the last thing I want to do but things have been so fucking hard these last few months and my entire families life is precarious rn. We have no real way out currently but we’re trying to figure anything out. I can only afford so much and I would like to get into a house for me, my partner, and my mom (this is a whole other thing for my mom but that’s beside the point) but I have to try and figure things out. If I end up needing help, I’ll probably succumb to that even if I feel fucking awful doing so. I’m so ashamed and embarrassed about this entire thing and I wish I could just show everyone what exactly is happening and why it’s so legally hard to do anything.

I feel like I’ll just overstep by complaining and I’ll start annoying everyone on here by not doing what they want me to do. I’m really really trying. I feel that I am mostly safe. Things had been going better and now they’re very bad again, so. Im worried. I’ll keep everyone updated on what happens and what I’m doing about it (mostly, I don’t want to overstep or overshare)

Thank you for being kind and talking to me about it. I feel so fucking out of it and distressed lately, like a cat clawing my way out of water. I just wish the world would stop for one day or I could like, wish things into being better. I’d never ask for anything else because this is so painful, I feel like I’m losing it

[chanquokka]

Here's A Little Get-To-Know-You Tag Game!

Tagged by: de wonderfulest ppl @noonaracha @straykidsgallery and @itsstraykids thank you sm!!! (go appreciate their cool point stories!)

Name(s): juni! is what i decided. some friends on this hellsite also call me solar so wtv u prefer. atp i just have a bunch of nicknames bcs i also have a Weird Name, A Weirder (Family) Nickname in real life

Pronouns: he/she/they/it<3 when i say feel free. pls and thank u

Star Sign: libra, right when it starts (and just a day after seungmin's!)

#of Siblings And Fun Facts About Them(if u have any): one (1) younger gremlin brother, and the funnest fact abt them is that he has been a walking directory of telephone no's since he was 4 and now can be relied upon to calculate large numbers inside his head in point seconds. Still hates physics(and most things theory)> by which, he also stores insane and inane amount of stats info (abt all types of things, but mostly sports) inside his head ready to be flourished at a moments notice, which is mildly impressive when ur 6 and debating with college students the scores of a game that happened 15yrs before u were born but not now when ur 17 and ppl are more focused on your test scores rather than ones u know, so</3 also has his birthday on changbin's but he doesnt know abt that

#of Pets: there's a history there. with fishes that my ma deceived me with on my 12th birthday(when i asked for a pet, i imagined smth i could hold) and then liked too much herself that we had them for 5yrs. three times; birds, but my brother kind of freed them while singing a lullaby with only me as an unbelieving witness. a dog (belovedest of em all) my dad picked from street as a puppy and who, then, had to be given away after 3yrs bcs of Stupid Reasons im still mad abt. now i just have street cats showing up at my front door to safekeep their babies on my staircase's isolated nooks till they grow up and vanish and street dogs who believe i have endless supplies of treats and show me sad faces when i dont. i really want a pet</3 but for now im contending with pictures of kitties whose moms operate on strict 'see-dont-touch' policies and sweet sweet strays who like to befriend u too easy.

Fandoms: many, but rn im active mostly in skz and mxtx. id love to be in other stuff i read and watch but since Capitalism hates me dearly,,,

Favorite Color: darker shades of all and any colors(esp blue green and red)!!! can be relied upon immensely to look warm and pretty always

Favorite Song: picking favorites for anything is out of my capabilities. also am just listening to my favorite bollywood playlist a lot these days.

Favorite Author: have a working list of favorite poets that does not end at 1. have not read a book seriously in four years of exam/prep-locking. but even if i did, idt ill be able to pick any favorite bcs, yk. good things in many things. (tldr; its roald dahl) (and ruskin bond who i read when i was 5 and still read when im so tired bcs his stories inspire me to write always)

Hobbies: I dance(perform) sometimes? I write??(←derogatory, dubious) make stuff, mostly poems and stories and tinker with free things i can do, both online or craft. analysis of things with friends is a beloved activity. i liek yoga and stretching (rn in an ongoing war with 3° winter mornings to drag myself out of bed and go to class at 6) cooking when i have time but mostly, always, reading (or! watching) stories, poems and learning abt cool nonfiction things (does crying abt fiction count)

Favorite Holiday: none of the above its the trips and getaways u make for yourself. all my beloved memories are always mostly from when our family makes a trip to someplace my mom insists or there's a non-worrying emergency to go somewhere. just family getting together under some pretense, even tho it is stressful as fuck.

Do You Have Any Partner(s): persuading my best friend atm but sadly she's straight</3(no lmao)

Fun facts about you/anything extra you wanna share!: since im having it rn- coffee doesnt keep me up or sometimes even makes me nod off, a fact i discovered after my 14yr old brain had the brilliant idea to try out the cool, forbidden drink after dinner knowing i wasnt allowed to. this is not fun to my ma but growing up in a sort of restrictive household, im also just weirdly good at sneaking and doing stuff im not supposed to without getting caught. i also do not know how to talk in lesser words. this is an absolute curse, yes i have tried. beware</3

this^ is a mess but thank u i had fun!! lemme tag: @winterfloral @syannie @hyunhomoons @quokki @chogiwow @agibbangs @rainknow @lixence @hyunebear @straykidsgallery @jerirose @ambivartence @hongjoongpresent + anyone who wishes to! apologies if tagged already!

[malaierba]

I have SO MANY thoughts and notes about Choro and Kara's dynamic but I don't really have the material to do a proper post so I'll just highlight my favourite moments of the duo:

When they ended up as their mom's reserve kids (alongside Jyushimatsu (unrelated but I love the Reserve Trio mostly because imagining Choro survive it makes me feel alive)) and Karamatsu keeps failing at appealing to his mom's affection, Choro straight up tells him "If things go wrong I'll take care of you!"

Then speed forward to like three or four different instances over the three series where Choromatsu falls, and Karamatsu yells "are you okay Choromatsu!? I'll save you Choromatsu!!" but DOESN'T STOP RUNNING KFKDKJF

When the brothers are taking advantage of Karamatsu's inability to say no, who calls him out on it??? Choromatsu!!

On the same episode though Karamatsu once again left Choromatsu to fend for himself against his devil brothers 💀 he's such a coward lol

Episode 24, Karamatsu was setting the mood to celebrate Choro!! He even gave him a surprisingly thoughtful Nyaa-chan thingy! And something painful of course but that's his brand

(I think he'd give good gifts in general, if a bit over-the-top at times)

Then during the Valentine's day episode he gave Choro some choco, all while saying "I like you because you're so lame that I look cool besides you" JDDHFJ this man has got jokes yall

I don't remember much about the Omurice skit they do other than they were VIBING ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH and it was Glorious. I think all the time of Karamatsu calling Choromatsu out like "STOP PLAYING DUMB IM TALKING ABOUT PERVY STUFF AND YOU KNOW IT" and Choromatsu honest to god CLUTCHING HIS INVISIBLE PEARLS lmao

I personally call them the LaLaLand duo, because they both live in an alternate reality made up of alternative facts that support the belief that they're The Proper One/The Cool One, and if I'm honest it almost surprises me that Choro is probably beating Karamatsu on number of episodes solely focused on poking fun at this gap between the reality they try to manufacture vs. The Actual Reality (see: the self-awareness orb episode and the Choromatsu Museum episode).

But at the same time I kind of appreciate that both of them can take a look at their immediate surroundings and call out bs when they see it. PARTICULARLY when Osomatsu is at the heart of that bs. Peak eldest three moments are those where Osomatsu is talking out of his ass, and Karamatsu is making The Exceptical Face that he does only for him (yknow. like 😒 but more Done) while Choromatsu is seconds away from nagging him to filth.

I like to think that they just have an special bond, a sympathetic understanding born from having to see Osomatsu live his best effort-economizing life, where too often they've shared looks that eloquently says "u seeing this bs rn"

So I guess my perception of their relationship is that they're comfortable enough with each other to discuss more personal things, Choromatsu seems to look out for Karamatsu a bit more but on the other hand Kara seems to trust his competence with a degree of honesty (even if he finds it a bit geeky), they can absolutely vibe on the same wavelength, and

I think it's good that they both seem to be Exceptical of the others social persona (Choromatsu more than Karamatsu, which is funny because Kara thinking he's a cool suave guy is so harmless??? Karamatsu on the other hand was horrified when Choromatsu tried to lie about being a NEET in his Christmas card, but other than that he Lets Him Live Laugh Love lol), because if they weren't.... If they fed into each others imaginations??? We'd have reason to worry

I also think that this dynamic is a somewhat recent development, as in, happened post highschool. Idk much about Osomatsu-kun but from what I understand, Karamatsu was more of a shy crybaby (if gluttonous? Call back to the Night Snacks skit where we see a VERY RARE Karamatsu telling Jyushi, arguably his fave youngest sibling, to get his ass back in bed, and all Choromatsu says is "Welp, duh, grub is involved" haha) while Choromatsu had that Godforsaken Temper of his with none of the social conditioning to motivate him to keep it in check.

I like to think about Karamatsu being artistically inclined from middle school, and exploring more earnestly his interests in high school. I used to like the idea of Choromatsu and Jyushimatsu glaring at whoever had a problem with the budding, still somewhat timid High School!Karamatsu being the theatre kid he was born to be, but then again I guess that doesn't quite fit the timeline as we see it in the movie? Shame 😔

Still, something something middleschool and highschool etc, Choromatsu is the one that goes to the McDonald's casheer with Karamatsu's burger and says "he didn't want pickles", and then post highschool they build a dynamic around other things.

[cerealmonster15]

ALL OF HEARTSLABYUL FOR UNHINGED CHARACTER BINGO‼️‼️‼️

VIBRATES AT A NORMAL SPEED I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT HEARTSLABYUL LET'S GO

[bingo link!]

actually. using a readmore bc there are Five Character Bingos and i like to talk under all of them LOL

RIDDLE RIDDLE BELOVED BABY SON RIDDLE:

[TWO BINGOS i forgot to cross them tho lol] thats my baby son BOY!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS HES MY BABYYYYY!!!!! riddle was one of the first characters i told my partner about when i was trying to explain twst to him and we very often refer to it as Riddle Game jfksjkfl. for my birthday and stuff sometimes my partner gets me riddle themed things - i have a riddle little guy hanging on the wall and my partner found his union bday jacket patches that i bought a jacket to go with and im... EVENTUALLY going to sew them on so ill have a RIDDLE JACKET [rn theyre pinned to it i just have to take my damn sewing machine out and DO IT!!!!] i love him DEEPLY and i relate to him on . some personal levels. DONT WORRY ABOUT IT but he is my special little boy with so many problems but he has also GROWN and i AM SO PROUD OF HIM AND WHWUWHFEHHRGH hes made FRIENDS 😭😭😭😭😭 hes such a wild little firecracker and I can and will talk about riddle FOREVER. forcibly cutting myself OFF bc we have MORE CHARACTERS to go!!!

also i think riddle probably needs a hug and would benefit greatly from it but would also Not Be Adjusted to hugs you must be GENTLE with your approach or he will BITE!!!

JUICE SPADE LIGHT OF MY LIFE:

this made me realize hes actually probably one of the more well adjusted characters in twst jfkldjsfklds hes a good boy!!! he loves his mom and his mom loves him!!! hes doing his best!! he loves his friends even if sometimes hes shy about it lol!!!! i didnt circle the therapy one even tho tbh i feel like everyone in twst could deeply benefit from it i jsut jklfdsj feel like that square is reserved for the more Severe Cases of Needing Issues Sorted jlkdsfkld. and obviously i want him to be happy but i feel like he mostly already is!!! anyway. my absolute baby of boys. i think i have the most SSRs of him than any other character in my game kfjsdjklfj he was my first freebie ssr dorm card and i work at trying to get it uncapped as much as possible i want juice to be my STRONGEST BOY!!!!!! I LOVE HIM ID KILL FOR HIM THATS MY SON!!!! ill marry his mom if thats what it takes to Make Him My Son For Real fjsdkfjklefjskldjflJKLSDJKKFLJSDKLFJ

moving ON!!!!

CAY CAY DIAMOND MY BELOVED CAYCAY:

[TWO BINGOS AGAIN] caycay is both FUN IN THE SUN but also. melancholic enigma. hes got some Issues going on below the surface that's like blink and u miss it since it's mostly only breadcrumbed in a few side stories but enough to make us like HEY whats going ON over there!!! but not too much to have me be like HORRIBLE SAD FOREVER BOY either. i think it's like. a mixed situation. but mysterious enough that we just dont know how far it goes. he's deeper than he seems and that's INTERESTING. but ALSO on the surface he IS a very fun goofy guy that loves his friends!!!!!! god i have very specific feelings about him and also. relate to him in certain ways Dont Worry About It but fjksdjlkfsd i love him. i want him to be happy. i have a Very Specific Way that i see his character and i turn into a rabid beast when i feel like people dont quite GET IT!!!! but sometimes thats a me problem LOL. other times tho. other times im like Did You Read The Same Game I Did Bc I Dont Think You Did RIDDLE AND CATER ARE FRIENDS IM GONNA BITE PEOPLE THAT THINK THEYRE NOT anyway. im very normal about cater diamond and his relationship to heartslabyul.

basket ball baby boy ACE:

i feel like it doesnt come across as much bc outside of my screaming about heartslabyul as a Unit i dont really scream about ace by himself ksldfjs but i actually really love ace a lot LOL hes SUCH a funny little guy. definition of a rascal and a shithead JFKSLJFSJK but i love him actually. i think it took longer for me to like him at first bc hes kind of a bitch but i quickly realized "oh this is villain school for villains and Everyone Is A Bitch" LOL and it's so fun. love that for him. ace is a little bastard who loves to cheat and lie and it's so funny thinking about that just Being His Thing. im obsessed with how in book 3 they were like "we need to sneak our way into the museum" and im p sure ace was like "yea let me lie my way through distracting the guard you guys wouldnt stand a chance you need my lying powers" and hes RIGHT. but also i think hes a really good boy when it counts 😭 hes a BASTARD but he LOVES HIS FRIENDS. Like he and juice are SO ride or die with the main character theyre the BESTIE TRIO + GRIMMY... THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!! they took PUBLIC TRANSIT to come save MC when we called them in book 4 and then never answered again lkdfsjj and they were WORRIED when we vanished in book 6 + were up in arms about grim getting captured bc THATS OUR SILLY LITTLE CAT!!! and also in book 6 [many book 6 feelings SORRY a LOT happened in that book that ill never be over omg i love it so much] UM UM UM i love how when everyone is like "oh ill give my money to ramshackle!!" ace was like "well im not" LOL hes so funny. but like he was also really nice to juice i think 😭 like juice was feeling the moral dillema of "my mom and i could really use that money but i feel like i have to donate to my friends shitty dorm like everyone else" and ace was the one that told him like "dude dont worry about it you dont gotta be a hero. im keepin my money cuz i want cool shoes. ur fine." and like. it was silly but sweet 🥺 or like in fairy gala 2 when he went to go check on ortho..... sweet boy... ^ love that i rambled More about ace than the others im def more insane about fklsdkjfdlsjf ace is that sleeper character that Gets Me when im not expecting it LOL also i just dont talk about him as much so i didnt cut myself off immediately LOL i could def go longer about the others. forever.

OK ANYWAY TIME FOR TREY:

i also dont talk as extensively about trey but Love Him dearly. all the heartslabyul boys got that "if anything happens to them ill blow up" "id kill anyone who hurts them" and "id take a bullet for them" BC I LOVE HEARTSLABYUL SO MUCH!!!!!! THOSE ARE MY SILLY LITTLE GUYS!! trey is so funny to me. like he. whats with the teeth thing trey. jksdlfsd it's SO funny to me his hobby is brushing his teeth. there's at least one or two times i think it's mentioned where he checked ace and deuce's teeth bc like? ?? ? ? i think in one of his voice lines he said it's a habit from doing it with his little siblings [BIG BROTHER BEHAVIOR SO SWEET WAGHGHGHGHHH] and i think there's a card story where ace was trying to skip out and cut corners on the Teeth Ritual and trey was like Not On My Watch 🧍‍♂️ jkfjsdjf hes so funny. he literally went into fanboy mode in halloween 2 when he found out sebeks dad is dentist. he tries so hard to be seen as A Normal Guy and yet hes Like That. hes science club besties with resident freak ROOK HUNT [beloved i love u rook hunt]. his childhood friends are teapot tyrant riddle and wildcard catboy chenya. his other bestie is terminally online partyboy caycay. he loves stupidass little jokes and he + cater sometimes like to lightly terrorize the underclassmen for funsies skjfjklsjf. friendly boys with an Evil side jfkldsjkldskljf.

also. do not get me started on his friendships with riddle and cater. i can and will go insane about the three of them oh my god if i think about them too long i get emotional and we'll be here forever. theres so much complexity there but also i WILL bite anyone that tries to say cater and trey's friendship is all a lie + surface level only or that trey cares about riddle more ILL BITE ILL BITE ILL CHEW. yknow what i didnt circle the 10 hour speech about trey or ace but tbh i could. those two it would be more about them and their relationships with other characters but LISTEN TO ME i love heartslabyul. SO MUCH. they make me insane.

i got this ask earlier and i was like "no i will not have time to do this til im home later bc i WILL need to talk about them for 800 years. circling squares is not enough." jfkslfjsjdljf

[777dream-of-me]

facts about me

i realized that yall dont really know much ab me so here you go😊😊

i was born in louisville, kentucky

i was born may 26th in the 2000s

im a triple gemini with an aries lilith

i am mixed, mostly with black and white

i have ginger hair

i discovered subliminals in quarantine but i discovered loa in 2021 bc of solar subs (idk)

i love the color pink

i am extremely good at math😊

i have a boyfriend, his name is derek. very tall, dark, and handsome.

i love music and modeling

i am a bad bitch

i like big bang theory and rick and morty

i like going to school

my mom has her own baking company and my dad works for her

i live in tx rn

i like traveling but not all the time

ive been to dubai, california, japan, south korea, new york, italy, spain, france, germany, romania, belgium, china, hong kong, australia, thailand, ect.

i speak many languages, some are: english, spanish, french, italian, korean, and japanese.

i have 4 bsfs that i will most def spend my life with, their names are valentina, katana, brittany, and benjamin.

yall im gonna add more dont worry😊😊

[chaoxfix]

Hey, i might be wrong but i think i remember you making a post for international women's day, and in it you said that you went through a period of thinking you werent a woman at all but then realised you were actually a lesbian. I just wanted to ask how you figured it out? I cant figure out if im a trans guy or a lesbian and I'm sort of desperate for guidance rn. Sorry this is a bit out of the blue and i totally get it if you dont wanna talk about it. Hope you're having a good day and take care!

ah, this is definitely a tough one, so please know that wherever your journey takes you i hope you find happiness and peace! im also not the end-all-be-all and im also not the sexuality and gender police. people can have similar experiences and feelings and still end up using different terminology and understanding themselves completely in a way that's totally different from one another, so please don't feel the need to use my experience as a roadmap for yourself.

under the cut in case discussion of sexuality and gender is triggering! genuinely, for my trans followers especially, please don't feel the need to look at this if it's something you would be uncomfortable reading. my journey definitely doesn't need to be yours.

in the end there are a few important details for why i ended up thinking i was a guy, or at least nonbinary

grew up evangelical christian and never really believed or felt the faith i was 'supposed' to feel. i also had trouble connecting with my family since they earnestly did believe it. i felt like a stranger in my own home, and worried that someday they'd disown me. i was also terrified of hell, and of 'sinning'. (making mistakes - see 4)

realized i liked girls when i was 12 and not only did i not know much about being gay aside from it being a 'sin', every girl in my grade talked so much about crushes when we were 12 that i felt super isolated from them as a peer group. due to 1 (the evangelical thing) i also grew up knowing my expectation in god's eyes was to be a christian wife and mom someday, and even aside from the 'sin' aspect and the disowning aspect, realizing i liked girls and didnt really like boys, the evangelical ideal for me was suddenly so, so terrifying.

i believed i was a tomboy growing up, but ultimately had to play with mostly feminine toys bc thats what i was given. i wanted to play with my brother but i was often left behind. i had a pretty lonely childhood and associated close friendships with my brother and his friends, not me and the other girls on the playground. when i was really little my best friend was a boy who stopped being friends with me because 'girls cant play power rangers or star wars' so that was probably pretty impactful on my psyche.

i was terrified of making mistakes due to my evangelical upbringing. because i didnt have faith i was so, so terrified of anything i did that could be considered wrong. i wanted to banish everything i'd ever done wrong, even the tiniest misstep, from everyone's memory as well as my own.

i grew up feeling guilty for any of my accomplishments because i was compared favorably to my brother and instead of feeling proud of myself, i felt like the worst person alive if i was being used as 'motivation' or a 'positive example.'

i wanted so badly to be respected by peers. but there were instances where i was told at like. debate teams. 'wow, i thought you were just here to look pretty'

an older trans friend told me he wished he'd known he was trans at my age so he wouldn't have wasted so much time, and told me i was probably trans too because he'd been just like me a few years ago, and that i should get started on social transition so it'd be easier to transition medically when i was older

i had a lot of tomboy interests, and grew up really enjoying mostly 'boy' cartoons. i also really wanted to get into parkour and obstacle courses and the punk scene, which had mostly guys where i lived

i really, really, really hated myself. i would try to reinvent myself every time i moved, but no matter what, i was still myself wherever i went -- awkward, shy, smart and interesting but always puts my foot in my mouth eventually. the only way to avoid that would be to completely change myself. every memory i had, i wanted to get rid of and replace with one from someone better.

i hated my name and body and face and personality and voice and hobbies. everything that's hardest to change, i hated viscerally.

so basically, those were the top 10 reasons i thought i was trans. ultimately, i ended up not being trans. but i thought i was for the better part of 5 years, closer to 6 altogether. i went by a gender neutral name for most of that time. every day i went by that name i was convinced that someday it'd actually feel like me, and i'd feel better for changing my name. but it never really happened. but i still hated my birth name, too, so... what was the issue? i couldnt figure it out, and was so, so anxious about it.

well, turns out the issue was reasons 9 and 10. i hated myself. and that issue was caused by 1. all of it ties back to being raised evangelical christian.

ultimately, ive been dealing with handling my depression and self-hate and anxiety. and i realized that, for me, trying to be a boy, or at least not a girl, was part of me just wanting to destroy myself in any way i could.

when i was 12, i wanted to kill myself, or at least do it by 18. when i was 14, i was presented with the option of reinventing myself as a completely different person. that seemed like the better option. but i think, overall, i didn't need to destroy anything or become someone completely different.

in the end, i don't hate myself for believing i was trans for 5+ years. i wasn't correct in my assessment of myself, but obsessing over it wouldn't really do any good at this point, so i try not to overthink it. im just sad that i didnt address the actual issues i had, and instead blanketed over them with the wrong solution.

the reason i don't see myself as nonbinary or trans anymore is because i was using it to fix the problem that i thought i had, not the problem i actually did. to me, even though i sincerely believed i was at the time, i think it was a way to not be the definition of woman that my parents had. (also, especially when i'd been assaulted at a pretty young age, as soon as i was starting to 'look like a woman' it felt safer to not become one...)

anyways. i think what i needed to do all along was just hate myself less, and try to like myself more.

that's hard to do. but it came in time, with focusing on hobbies that i genuinely enjoy. making connections and friendships that i felt seen and appreciated in, not just tolerated. pushing back on my family's views. understanding that being a woman doesn't have to mean settling down with a husband and having kids. it also meant finding jobs and careers that i feel like the best version of myself in, where i feel like im doing something good for both myself and others. and trying not to base my style or my appearance on how others would view me, but instead of how i wanted to view myself.

i hope this helps you sort through your thoughts!

[fearnesnblerns]

c3e49 thoughts

ashton remains my favorite character, with fearne as a close second

ashton and laudna were always in the back of my mind as a fun dynamic but after that conversation i’m suddenly completely on board with tombstone

imogen’s moral compass is ?? a fucking metronome rn i hope she snaps out of it?? it’s clear she cares about her mother deeply but it’s terrifying how easily swayed she is just because she wants to trust her mom LAUDNA PULLED HER BACK WOOOO southern gothic u have my heart

orym and ashton, my blunt beloveds <33

definitely need to rewatch because i’m listening to the stream as i do work and i’m missing everyone’s facial expressions and reactions to things

nana is okay !!!!!

dorian sounds so worried yall i didn’t finish the recent exu what happened to opal… (i’ll probably watch it before next episode)

ryn :(((

ira/nana reunion unlikely but i still have hope

ashton’s thoughts on fcg are so real but it was a bit funny since he just admitted to purposely making others feel indebted to him so when he finally asks for help, they can’t refuse. the whole party’s got self-destructive tendencies, fcg’s just incorporates an explosive

i want to meet more of the nobodies so bad

i recently watched trigun stampede and could not stop thinking about the giant desert worms

failed an insight on fearne’s parents? interesting

someone please make a supercut of xandis’ greatest hits (mostly them screaming lmao) bc they’re genuinely so funny, they also need a skyship upgrade and paid vacation asap

fcg’s changebringer arc is just kny’s kanao reskinned

no but actually i know it’s a bit annoying for fcg to have no faith in his ability to make their own decisions (as demonstrated by the party’s apprehensive reactions) but at some point this is gonna hurt bad when fcg inevitably has to choose to revive one of their multiple dead friends again

imodna my loves they’re so <333 YOU’RE MY TETHER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

as always, (im)patiently waiting for more ashton backstory (though the crumbs from today were much appreciated)

[deutoplasmic]

riGHT LIKE FREE HIM HE DID NOTHING WRONG hes just the best feminist lgbt ally pro-palestine boy ever i love him

i think the terrible audio adds to the charm LMAO fighting for your life to hear what people are saying just like god intended /j

sometimes my mom makes cookies!! i dont do much baking other than the mooncakes nowadays but i used to help out a lot as a kid

RIGHT LIKE UNTIL KNOW IM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF THEY WERE JOKING OR NOT,,, like ik masaya’s academic score was low,,, but like,,, hes not. stupid. is he? Is He-

yea short program is like. a bunch of oneshots lmao they each have their own storyline and tbh its adorable (except rukis i dont like rukis story tbh 😭 but its ok i can just stare lovingly at his face. and the actress’s face too bc all the actresses are really pretty) i recommend watching it!! i have the 🏴‍☠️ site if you need it 😶

and yes i draw too!! >< i mostly do portraits and some animations!! i lowkey gave up on traditional art because the cleanup process makes me lazy 😭 i do knit and crochet though!! and i wanna get into 3D soon 👀

YEA THATS WHEN HE NEVER UPLOADED THEM LMAO 😭 he was GROVELING i found it cute ngl i like pathetic losers 😩

ill compile some song recommendations rn btw! about to expose my stan list lowkey lmao

FACTS!!!!!!!! love him so much for that like come on. a man like that???? from CHINA, notorious for being homophobic no less?????? he is such a guy

OK OK i can understand that. sometimes you need the shit ass audio for the best experience 🙏 usually i just read subtitles but i read too slow in chinese to keep up so it's just english for me lmfao 😔

omg cookies are sooooooo sooooooooooooo good idk i think i mentioned loving subway cookies at some point. favourite kind of cookies are the soft chewy but kind of firm around the edges ones. oh my god. what cookies do you like!!!!!

i wouldn't be surprised if they were being fr..... like surely not but in my heart i know it's prolly real 😰 omfg all my ini faves except yudai were at the DEAD BOTTOM OF THE TEST. truly a wake up call. thank god my tentative dxteen bias did well on his, but still. jumpscare

wait omg that sounds like a bunch of fun! true problem solving is just staring at cute people LOOOOOL and god i love participating in a bit of yo ho ho behaviour i would greatly appreciate the link!!!! i'll prolly get to it when it's holidays so uh. uh

omg portraits!!!!!! and animations you have so much patience. how do you get the multiple drawings of the same thing in mildly different poses to look the same. you are so cool. and ok yeah working with paints is so much effort........ but WHAT you knit!!!!! and crochet!!!!!!!! that is so cool knitting is crazy omg... i can crochet but it is so much effort just to do smth so the dedication is so cool

OK YEAH THAT WAS HILARIOUS i don't think i've ever heard him so ruined. also yeah . ok . we are on the same boat . losers are so very !!!!!!!!!

omg don't worry my kpop list is so biased towards infinite oh i love them so much.... who do you like??

[yourl0cal1ncorporealb3ing]

TW VENT AT SOME PARTS

(ALSO NONE OF THIS PROOF READ SO IT MAY NOT BE LEGIABLE I just wroet this and i already forgot half the stuff i wrote)

y'know the mix of horrid chronic fatigue and insatiable numbness and the dissociation just makes me feel like I missing out on life, I yearn to go outside, to go play, to have fun, just run around but I cant. I sit in my room on tumblr or youtube wasting the day away wishing I did something more productive. I feel like a husk of person I feel like Im in a movie theater alone watching the most boring movie ive ever seen, I feel lonely while also being too socially drained to watch and respond the the video my friend sent me. Not to mention when my parents used to fight, my moms road rage/anger issues, it caused me to fucking terrifed of conflict so sometimes I minimize my needs when around other people and constantly asking about things and if im doing it right but also worrying if im annoying them with all my questions because my grandma has gotton mad at me for that before i think either that or it was me asking why she loved my cousin more than me because she yelled and fought with my dad because i wouldnt give my cousin my fukcing chicken nuggets my dad bought for me like fuck you i mean im sorry grandma

The anxiety and hyperactivity of my ADHD spikes up at night so either i got to sleep and wake up in 13 hours or I can stay up till 4am, go to sleep and wake 13 hours (Just feeling a lot worse). Im literally shaking as I write this and i can tell if im just so fucking restless even if im fucking tired (its 3:38am) or anxiety or the entire kiwi strawberry monster I just drank Its ok im drinking water a lot of it i just need to get my thoughts out of my head because its like a thousond of the dvd bouncing tv screen in my head rn idk if its getting better idk if im gonna post this too maybe idk any ways im shaking oh btw i might have non-diabetic hypoglycemia and i have to get a bunch shots next week and I really hate the doctors it always makes me really scared and uncomfy n shit and idk why damn im shaking a lot. I almost freaked out bc i cant find my charger and my tablet almost died but i have another one ive been using so i just used that but i want to know where my charger went :(

istg ive been eating fucking pasta for the lat 3 weeks and i hate it i hate it i hate it HATE it every. fucking. meal. I cant. I have comfort foods I like and its mostly carby food like pasta so i eat pasta alot but since our oven stopped workin its all i know i can make that easy and i laike it but i secretly dread it so i have been eating a lot of candy to keep my brain happy but im not i should be happy ive been hanging with my frinds and its summr break but im just numb, i always am, yk the year I just finished? yeah for the majority of the i was fighting autopilot mode and disassociation but i was constantly in it i dont think i cant handle going to high school this year i think i might act pass out from exhaustion I barely survived middle school Im not okay i need something meds? idk I should not be this messed up i mean my family is great (yk...apart from the fighting which isnt that common anymore and moms anger issues) but theu love me so whats the problem? school school why is it so unoccomidating to neurodivergents same with ppl with social anxiety like i have had MULTIPLE bad panic attcks in class cause i had to do smthin in front of the class I fukcing hate the school system fuckfukcufkyoiuu school fuck the emercian school system FUCKYOUUUUUUUUU

Im too conflict avoident I cant

the afternoon feels so tiring in a stuffy way if that maks and sense i need to treat my FUCKING adhd already i can have music playing at all times thats not a good long term strategy to shut up my brain i mean ffuck i have music on rn and you can see my insane ramblings

anyyways I kinda think im a daave fiction kin (like DSAF) but im 90% sure im just and otherlinker and I just want to feel speacial or some shit but whos know i have the worst imposter syndrome known to man (I have almost every symptom of Cfs and my friend has asked if i have it but nahhh i defs dont) but also i had a weird experience once. I was like listen (its getting hard to type with the shakiness :0) ing to 2 dave and henry playlists and i kept listening to the henry one and I was in the car and i was falling and out of sleep when i saw like flash of dave but it didnt look like cannon dave he looked different he was mush more blue and he was leaning against a wall with messy longish hair and he had a hat and scars all over him and he had a purple buttoned shit that was fulled buttoned up and the perspective i saw was like a photo someone had taken and he seemed just chilling perhaps talking to jack? idfk but yeah theres my weird experience like the best way i can explain this feeling towards dave is "Idkk if i was you but probably mightve at some point like most likely at some point"

i hope i sound legiable (if i do post this AND someone actually reads this all) it is 4:08am and I feel too many things once i probably will sleep at 5 or 6 anyways byebye

[jaeshoney]

RANT BC I NEED TO GET THIS OUT SOMEWHERE

my moms life is highkey hard rn like imagine falling into a 6ft hole that just keeps getting deeper no matter how hard you’re trying to get out

she calls me all the time to talk about it and it’s fine bc i do the same but it’s a lot and more serious on her part compared to me not going to class or complaining abt a roommate and i told her like don’t take this the wrong way but i need you to stop calling and complaining all the time and then she was like ok i’ll stop and then we hung up bc she had got around people

and it made me feel bad bc she really don’t have that many people to talk to and get this out with and i understand that it’s not my job to be there like a friend or therapist ( not even this bc she mostly talks and i listen maybe adding a mhmm or right) bc she is my mom but i also don’t want her to hold all that in bc it is a lot to go through by yourself and

idk if i should explain more and be like it’s not that much of a problem but i feel like that’s all we talk about is the bad but there really nothing else to talk about bc there’s not a lot of things right or good rn.

like i can handle the subject matter it’s just a lot to listen to almost everyday and honestly before typing all this out i didn’t realize how much it worries and hurts me not knowing how and being able to help like im tearing up bc idk what to do and it’s not my job and she’s never asked me for help and even if she does it’s like “i don’t have enough time on my lunch break to go home. Can you cashapp me $7” or small things that honestly don’t make a difference but she’s my mom and she’s been there for everything and i really don’t know what to do

and my brothers don’t help. like i hate to say it but they make it worse. it’s like they don’t know how to do anything at all without explicit step by step instructions. they don’t listen. they’re messy.

idk idk idk

like if i had a good job i could help but im in school and 2 hours away and it really sucks.