#im not going to your wedding AND heres covid

[michaun]

got covid for the first time and i feel fine physically but absolutely terrible mentally cause now I have to tell all the family I was with over the 4th and i feel like the shittiest person alive god 

[narcosmx]

being the arellano baby and being into ismael "mayo" zambada would include

got covid after nearly 3 years of dodging sick children and watched narcos mexico all over again... as you do

anyways here we are again with my absolute obsession with being in the arellano-felix family

the stranglehold this family has on me is absolutely astonishing

okay but hear me out, being ramon's T W IN

T W I N

and this could go one of two ways; being ramon's literal identical, his partner in cirme, the moment when the both of you get this twinkle in your eye everyone in tijuana should be afraid

oR OR OR the complete opposite like ramon is like looks like a cinnmaon roll, would kill you and you're the is a cinnamon roll is a cinnamon roll one

completely and utterly seperated from the family business, don't want to get you involved until ...

okay so i am going to go with the being the opposite to ramon, being the sweet as pie, doe eyed, glue to this family... the apple of benjamin's eye and ramon's light and acknowledgement that he could be better you're basically the same person anyways

i am just imagining that scene in season 2 when ramon is walking around listening to his cd player or walkman or whatever

and you doing the same thing bopping to some fucking early luis miguel and dancing through the house

GOD YOU BRING SO MUCH LIGHT INTO THIS HOME

preppy fresa princess

so it's not like they kick you the fuck out when business is happening, you're around and moving through life but listening... always listening

when people come around for business you observe and notice people, usually don't peak your interest they don't get more than a kiss on the cheek and a faint smile before you skip off bringing a levity to situations that benjamin would always take advantage of

until you see this ruggedly handsome man making his way through tijuana

can you just imagine with me if you will, coming down the staircase in the arellano-felix home, just your polished pretty self and you walk through the corridor of the dinning room and see someone new sitting at the dinning room table

you giving him this curious doe eyed look with a soft smile and mayo getting all nervous kill me

he like gets to his feet real fast, takes off his hat and bows his head a little like "buenos dias, herm

osa" and he's just looking at you like you're an absolute gem literally like this delicate little flower

and benjamin walks in and is like "mayo, mi hermanita. nena, mayo" and you literally have to snap out of your little trance and walk over to mayo to give him your customary kiss on the cheeck and i just him holding your hand loosly when you come over to kiss him

HIM KISSING THE BACK OF YOUR HAND lightly before you scamper off mostly in embarrassment because you couldn't squeak a word out

ramon coming up behind you giving you a knowing look as you communicate in pure twin telepathy, averting your eyes immediately because if you don't literally he will read your mind

crying at you muddling around the kitchen, wandering around pretending to do something as you walk past the walkway to the dinning room every 5 minutes to look at mayo and exchange these little smiles :( :(

you making something for them fucking idk why im imagining you making something like your abuelas agua de melon and bringing it over to them

and bringing it over all excited and benjamin is just doing that soft adoring smile, ramon is like fuck yeah aguas frescas and and mayo just whispers "gracias, princesa"

i just i just at the end of the meeting when they're saying goodbyes, you pop in and are like "benja, you invited mayo to dina's wedding right ?" batting eyelashes

benjamin being like oh yeah yeah come celebrate with us

and and you come to say goodbye to mayo and you're giving him a kiss on the cheek and he's like "nos vemos pronto, mi angel"

and you're left standing like heart eyes

and i'm dying, enedina coming up being you and being like "close your mouth, mija, you'll let flies in" and tickling your sides because twin telepathy may be a thing but your older sister knows you better than you know yourself

and so now the wedding you've been buzzing about for the past like year is now all you can freaking think about because you get to see mayo again and maybe steal a second away from your brothers

listen, the wedding day, you're walking down the aisle as one of the bridesmaids and you're like not so sneakily looking for mayo good lord

he flashes you the sweetest smile, he's looking at you like your his fucking bride and i

you turn redder than the dress you're fucking wearing

for the first time in a long time your like can we get this over with so we can fucking party

and and next time i'll write a whole mayo at the wedding thing and i ahh

[nb-peace]

Okay so now I've rewatched the Nickelback Doco Im just going to raddle of some thoughts that came to me about it.

I know they said Chad was the hardest for them to get to open up

I respect Windy for still claiming Mike as his even though Mike keeps referring to him as "Chads Dad"

And they get Chad to say anything on the whole situation there

And Chad and Mikes Grandfather Shooting Windy was a Politician in Alberta

They didn't mention how Chad used half of the money he got from his stepfather to buy magic mushrooms to then sell again at a high price to fund the first demo

They also left out some of the tactics Chad did when they were hustling in the early days ie. moving there songs higher in the charts and seeding that to radio stations

I thought they might of mentioned how long they've had most of there crew like a lot of those guys have been with them since the start

I feel like they didn't go really deep with how things went down with Vik and how he was kinda fired( the 1:54 mark here) and how he sued the band after words to make sure he got his royalties.

Didn't how long Ryan and Treana have been together like they've been together since they were 13

Also if you here a little girl getting called Caity you would never guess her full name is Acadia

If Mike had the stroke while they were recording No Fixed Address that means during the 2014 to 2015 era Chad had to deal with Mike's stroke, Avril's lyme disease, and him having the Cyst in throat. No wonder this is about the time I think he started drinking more.

Also they never mention that it was a Cyst and he had surgery they just say he got sick and lost his voice.

Avril didn't get much of a mention But I don't think came out of that whole situation okay.

Chad Mate you ever think about therapy maybe

I knew Daniel had surgery I don't think we know how bad he was though

Also Daniel of course your part of the band, your the longest serving drummer they've had, it been nearly 20 years, You were a groomsmen at Chad wedding you dumbass.

Didn't Mike also get back surgery during Covid that didn't come up

I want the all the footage from Chad and Mike playing pool that seems to be when they most got into the thick of it

And I just want to go through all the old archived footage they found and all the stuff that didn't make it in, I hope they put out a DVD with all that shit.

[tscritical]

Hello there 👋🏻

I left the sanders sides fandom and blocked every tag just short of four years ago, just after the release of DWIT. Now, there is no obligation for you to answer this ask, but if you feel up to it, think you could fill me in on everything that’s gone down? Has there really not been another ‘proper’ episode since then? Like I said, you aren’t obligated to answer. It just, seems like there’s been a lot. Thought it would be easier to ask someone. Thanks for your time.

im putting this under a read more cos. shit gets extensive

ok so here’s the shitty rundown:

if you remember, at the end of dwit virgil confessed to having been a “dark side” in the past, and thomas didn’t seem to take it well

the next episode was a sanders asides, which is basically,, shorter videos that were promised to give us more content (lie)

in this asides, thomas found out his friend was like. an ex homophobe. and somehow that’s a parallel to virgil having been a dark side??? ok

basically thomas realized he needed to accept virgil for everything he was, including his past. but they couldn’t come up with a better allegory. so it’s apparently canon that thomas thinks of dark sides as being the same as. ex bigots. idfk

about a year later, the svs redux came out. oh boy

thomas got back from the wedding, sang a song with patton and roman about how it sucked because lee and mary lee didn’t drop everything to spend time with him instead of. celebrating their fucking wedding. thomas basically said “wahhh why won’t lee and mary lee talk to me instead of focusing on themselves at their own wedding 😡😡😡😡” which like. whatever i guess

they debated on whether it would’ve been better to discuss the wedding vs callback decision with lee and mary lee beforehand and patton was like “but they may have been sad if you picked the wedding, and they would’ve been sad if you picked the callback” blah blah

logan came in as a pixelated pop up (called “logans lowdowns”) and was like “im gonna give helpful information via text box” and no one bothered to read them cos they’re jerks (I DID. MY REACT VIDEO PROVES IT. real logan stans read the text and then had to rewind the video to hear the other dorks jshdjdjfjf)

ultimately patton ended up suggesting that thomas should sacrifice himself for others. and also he should only take care of himself in emergency situations. and he turned into a frog

oh yeah and then deceit popped in and was like “patton you’re being a little extra” and explained that if you only take care of yourself in emergency situations, you won’t be nearly as equipped to handle it as you would be if you. you know. utilized self care a more reasonable amount

then roman was like “shut up deceit” and deceit was like “my name is janus” and roman was like “shut up janus, also that name is stupid” and janus was like “well you’re the evil twin so suck on that”

im doing a bad job of explaining the tension but holy SHIT this video…

anyway, after the redux was flirting with social anxiety, which is another asides. it’s an animatic because covid prevented thomas from actually going to the mall but anyway

thomas went to the mall having one mini moral crisis after another, until he saw a cute guy he wanted to talk to. but virgil was like “hell no” and roman was like “hell yes” and they basically spent the entire video arguing over whether it was a good idea to approach a stranger (regardless of how cute said stranger was)

ultimately, thomas and the stranger, nico flores, managed to get to talking, and they really seemed to hit it off! thus followed a really cute end credit scene back at the apartment, i really recommend watching that part on its own i fucking love it

the next episode was the third and final (so far) asides, in which thomas has sought help from logan in basically getting his life together, starting with cleaning his apartment

throughout the endeavor, thomas tries to follow the plan logan helped him get together in order to get it done, but remus has plans of his own. with every step thomas takes, remus puts a bear trap in his path. you know. metaphorically

oh yeah and the subplot is that thomas texted nico something stupid and he hasn’t responded and thomas is like “pls god why” probably because he’s worried he scared nico off (i can’t remember what the text said but i think it was cringe? idk hsjdhdj)

logan is trying to help thomas work through his intrusive thoughts… hence the title of the video jsjdjfkfk but remus is pretty relentless. finally, logan approaches remus and is like “what the fuck dude” and remus is like. well y’all know what remus is like akdjkdjfkf

remus starts ignoring logan and logans eyes glow orange and he’s like “STOP IGNORING ME” and remus is turned on or something and he’s like “but who do you really wanna scream that at?”

nico calls thomas and is like “wanna look at art?” and thomas is like “hell yeah” and leaves in the middle of cleaning which makes logan sad and ill kill thomas for making logan sad /j (there was also ominous vague foreshadowing from janus eating an apple in a tree or some shit idk)

then there’s the five year anniversary shit. which is like. pointless skhddkjf it’s basically thomas asking the sides shit about the series and it’s mostly fluff until you look into it. pretty much on the surface level kahdjdfjfk

i don’t remember it well i only watched it a couple times so

im not gonna talk about can plushies improve our health it makes me too mad

then the last video in the sanders sides playlist is the over the garden wall cover which i recommend simply because thomas/janus’s voice is so good and the vibes are so soft i cant

and there ya have it. you’re caught up now. now i have a question for you; what the FUCK do you mean, “four years ago, just after the release of dwit”. that was two years ago you are lying to me /j

[wanderingpages]

Chapter 3, LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

Hot girl math every chapter, but i like that you solved the equation for me ❤️❤️ vivi is cardans age, but a freshman 

“My breasts would spill out of anything she owns, so I let her know I do actually own clothes sexy enough to attend a party.” - mommy? Sorry. Mommy?

““I used to sneak out of the house pretty late,” I reveal to her. “Sneakers though – had to climb up to my roof to get back into my bedroom.” ” - she a baddie she showing her panty – also as an aside, love the aesthetic you have going on for the tumblr chapters, like oof, you said (drake voice) this is not to get confused, this ones for you (Me,) – also does this mean she sucks at heels cus she never thought to wore them since she always used sneakers and this is foreshadow or am i reading too into this??? Also this, foreshadow too? > “but he always drew the line at curfew.” (me picking at crumbs) also: Air Force 1s in my air force one (Aside, yall remember rocking that thang remix? Yall remember when rap songs had remixes with like everyone?? Last one i heard was probably fuckin problems. We need another anthem (So i gave em another anthem [we the bessstttt]) - dj khaled - me. Peach i am on medication for Covid.)

““My…brother,” I test the word out. It’s so foreign, it tastes rancid in my mouth. ”- ok but physically, jude…jude, look at me, physically. Not rancid at all. He is delicious, i promise, you jude. Jude. I promise, you jude ❤️❤️❤️❤️

“When I say it again, in front of the lookout guy at the door of the frat house,” - ok but this transition!!! When i say its a MOVIE, PEach. PEACH

“Let me embarrass myself in front of his friends and roommates. He’ll laugh about it later, with them” awed by how canon this actually is for fanfic lmao

““Alright sweet thing,” this guy tells me and I want to punt kick him in the balls for it.” - i know thats right fr. Vivienne also, is everything. Shes a better friend than she is sister, and ill let that sit with yall (yall, i say like im talking to a crowd, bye, im so delulu) anyways but the whole inner turmoil of jude thinking Cardan invited her to embarrass her? Baby who hurt you (Your mother, i know. Already cleared that) im talking in a lot of parenthesis. You can see where the medicine is taking over, actually. Im lucid tho

““My baby sister,” he coos in jest, making me feel uneasy. “Come here,” he tells me,” –he’s such a dickhead im in love

“At the wedding it was all soft makeup and tied up hair. Today, there’s glitter on my eyelids, sharp wings accentuating the shape of my eyes, a gold glimmer on my cheeks that catches in the light, and lips so red that he holds his gaze there for a moment too long. ” – Peach, i love this so MUCH she’s EVERYTHING TO ME 🥰😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

But back to him being an ass why is he soooo lol like really walking around the fact that theyre NOT related, for the taboo of it all. Kinky mf, i fear.

“catching mirth in pretty hazel eyes only partially obscured by sandy blonde hair. ” GHOST? IS THST YOU?

JUDE AND CARDAN KISSED? WHEN?

OH - “. We did a little more than kissing that night. His fingers traced over parts of me even the sun hadn’t yet touched. Thunder had masked cries I couldn’t hold back and lightning had made him look like a luminous god. I cross my legs, embarrassed and something more.” help me. Also shut up locke, mind ur business for real, this is grown people talk.

Omg it was Ghost ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️”“You’re Greenbriar’s sister.” / “Stepsister,” I breathe out ” stop this is so derek and casey coded 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

HOLD ON WAIT GHOST?! GHOST AND JUDE? ( I love that he braced her head when they fell lmao horny but gentlemanly)

AHHH CARDAN? HELLO?! NICASIA ? OH MY GOD AND ALL FOUR OF THEM JUST DECIDE TO KEEP GOING?? They said impromptu orgy. “Cardan shifts and leans back on his elbow, still having a perfect view of me, but now giving Nicasia space to twist her head to look at me, too. ” - please…. I am on my knees… i am unwell….i am sick to my stomach… alexa play that should be me by justin beiber…. That should be me fr but which one is the question??

God why is ghost everything right now??? “Do you want them to watch?” like oh my god….. I need a moment. I need a lot of moments. “”Do you want your brother to watch me taste your come?”” – i am…convulsing. Ghost is… like my body is breaking out in a sweat.

Say please and make it as sweet as your – top 3 things that would send a victorian child into a coma

Stop why was this the best head ive read? 

““Such a good girl,” I hear Nicasia whisper.” - help….  They are actual deviants and i am in hell, keeping your seat warm, peach ❤️❤️❤️❤️

lol see this is the longest ask over ever had so far and I’m truly amazed at your commitment ngl

Sneakers, I guess it’s foreshadowing for some stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️ curfew, yes. I like that you have three separate song references in one paragraph lmao I also feel this is the point you should have called it a night and fell asleep 💀

This is so uncannon that’s I’ve tried to slip all the cannon stuff I actually can in 😫

Actually cardan was intoxicated here but was genuinely surprised she introduced herself as his stepsister cus he was like …oh? Ok…:)

Yeah you know I love me some Ghost 🤭

Yes! Absolutely Derek and Casey!

Yes ghost!!!! Also I do love people being mindful during intimate moments ngl like duh hes gonna make sure she doesn’t crack her head open!

Your commentary here is sending me oh my god 😂🥰

[rillils]

RILLLSSSSSSS OH MY GOD IM GOING FUCKING INSANE 😭 THIS IS GONNA BE LONG OH MY GOD 😭😭

OK SO MY SCHOOL HAS THESE FIELD TRIPS EVERY YEAR AND GOT CANCELED BC OF COVID (this is our first time back face to face, so weve had online classese for almost 3 years now) AND THEY STILL HAVENT BROUGHT IT BACK

SO HIM BEING PART OF THE STUDENT COUNCIL AND ALL, I ASKED HIM TO ASK THE PRINCIPAL IF THEY COULD BRING BACK FIELD TRIPS AND WERE STILL WAITING FOR THEIR REPLY AND OH MY GOD

FOR THE PAST 4 HOURS WE HAVE BEEN FANTASIZING ABT GOING ON AN AMUSEMENT PARK DATE

and rillssssss 😭😭😭

im gonna go insane oh my god 💞💞💞💞

SO HERES HOW WE THOUGHT ITLL GO:

-we meet at school bc thats where all the busses are to go to the amusement park (keep in mind that we dont even know if this idea will get accepted) and this time there wont be any supervisors with us just teachers (bc yay im a highschool student now 😗) anyways

-and wed sit at the back of the bus (each class has their own bus, so hed ask if he could stay at my bus instead, if they dont allow it then wed both go to the bus for the people who are late)

-wed watch movies and share earphones and id lean my head on his shoulder and hed cover me with his jacket (HE SAID THAT ID GET TO KEEP IT OH MY GOD 🥹🥹🥹) if i get cold because i said that ill wear a dress that looked similar but way shorter than the one i was wearing in that picture i sent him (when he called me an angel when i was wearing a wedding gown i wore for my aunt's wedding)

-wed hold hands the whole time and id pull him around to go ride all the rides (nobody knows abt us dating just that one friend, we dont care who'll see anymore, nows are only chance to go on an amusement park date, well if it gets accepted that is)

-and hed hug me from the back (weve never hugged yet nor have we held hands) while we wait in line for the ride

-HE SAID HED GIVE ME PRINCESS TREATMENT RILLSSSSS

LIKE FULL ON PRINCESS TREATMENT, THIS WAS WHAT HE SAID TO ME EXACTLY THIS AND RILLSSSSSSS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE PRINCESS TREATMENT OH MY GOD 💞💞💞💞

-he said hed follow me around everywhere

-he said hed tie my shoes if my shoelaces got untied

-he said hed carry my bag while he waits for me outside the bathroom

-and he said and insisted that he wants to pay for everything (except the ticket since the school would be paying for that) because he wanted to give me the full on princes treatment and im fucking melting rilllsssssss 😭😭😭😭😭

-and he has a polaroid camera and he said hes getting a lot of films for it and were gonna take two pictures each so we each have a piece

AND GUES WHAT HE FUCKING SAID RILLS

GUES WHAT HE SAID

HE SAID THAT HE LOVES ME AND OH MY GODDDDDDD 😭😭😭

HE SAID THAT IM PERFECT, THAT I MADE HIS WHOLE LIFE BETTER, THAT HES SO LUCKY TO HAVE ME, THAT HES OBSSESED WITH ME, THAT IM A VERY SPECIAL PERSON IN HIS LIFE, THAT IM BEAUTIFUL, THAT HE WANTS TO MARRY ME, HE SAID THAT HE COULDNT EVEN COMPREHEND WHATS HES FEELING RN AND RILLLLSSSSSS IM GONNA MELT 😭😭😭

ACTUALLY NO, I ALREADY DID 😭

rilllsssssss i love him oh my godddddddddd 😭😭😭💞💞💞

he just said that he wants to treat me like a fucking queen oh my godddd what do i doooooooo 😭😭😭

OMG ANGDKABFKGKFNSKHFK 💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖 Holy shit bby!!!!! All right, so first things first, I really do hope with all my heart that you guys get to have a field trip again soon, even with all the necessary measures for your safety and health 💕💕💕🙏🙏💛💛💛 Second, OMG 😍😍😍 The date you lovebirds planned sounds absolutely perfect, and Lover Boy really really sounds like the sweetest boyfriend out there, it's all so so romantic 💕💕💕 Damn right he wants to treat you like a princess, you deserve nothing less than that 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 But wait wait wait, he actually said The Words????? HE DID???!!!!!! HONEYYYYYYYYY OMG THAT MUST HAVE FELT AMAZING, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍💕💕💕💕💕 HE LOVES YOU AND YOU LOVE HIM AND IT'S ALL SO PRECIOUS I'M GONNA FLY TO MARS AND BACK OUT OF SHEER HAPPINESS ALONE 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 It really sounds like you're living your own personal fairytale and I absolutely freaking LOVE this for you 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 Ahhhhhh I'm sending you all the hugs in the world!!!!!!!!

[hobidreams]

damn babes, life is really putting us through the wringer huh😭 post-covid effects are truly wild right?? i remember for my mom, the effects were similar to yours, but for me it made me more sensitive to tastes?? if it’s any consolation, it went away completely for me n my mom after a couple weeks!!

about summer plans though, i’m def not taking summer classes this time around💀 it sorta sunk in that i haven’t gotten a proper vacation ever since i started uni in 2020, so i really wanted to just take a break. had a conversation about it w my mom n she supported my decision to take a break this summer and i honestly don’t regret a thing🥳 anyways i’m just gonna take it easy!! planning to finish crocheting my tote bag (oh did you ever get the pic i sent of the lil hat i made for my cat or did tumblr eat it😵‍💫😵‍💫), and reading a lot of books!!! i read “the girl who fell beneath the sea” last week and i absolutely LOVED IT!! i blame you for starting my obsession with historical fiction/fantasy💀 it’s based off of a korean folktale with a couple of twists, and i think you’d really like it!! i also got the book that joon and yoongi read on in the soop s1 (almond!!), and it’s been an interesting read so far. i’ll update you hihihi. also finally started watching the red sleeves?? i already know the ending but it’s actually so fun to watch even though i know it’s going to hurt like a mf💀

ok that’s all,, sorry this ended up being way longer than i thought it would be💀 but anyways how are you babes!! any fun updates (wedding updates👀)??? what are your plans for the summer?

the spacing is still whack i genuinely don’t know how to fix it lmao

-🌿

my answer got long soooo cut!

omg more sensitive?? cant even imagine what thats like. im glad thats gone for u now!! yeah i think im mostly recovered from the taste thing now.... but also like... glad i didnt get the thing that some ppl had where everything tasted like gasoline. but my random dry coughing came back two weeks ago and its only just starting to fade again 😬😬😬 im worried and have to see a doctor abt it 😭

HELL YEAHH im so glad you got to take the summer off!! fr, so many people are rushing to do their degrees in 4 years and 🤷🏻‍♀️ most ppl i knew did it in 5 and it wasnt a big deal at all. take ur time and do what makes u happy 💗 honestly, relaxing in the summer prepares me better for the winter term so it works for the best! the tote bag sounds amazing! pls show me it!!! and no i never got the pic of ur cat hat 😤😤😤 fuck u tumblr

omg ive heard of that book before! tbh i dont read a lot of fantasy bc i prefer straight historical but i will have to check it out. my backlog of to-reads only keeps growing. oops. i hope u enjoyed the books!!

ahhh never apologize pls. i love and appreciate ur long messages!!! my plans are in effect rn haha im away at a cabin sort of place, that has VERY bad wifi so im doin my best here. but its meant to be very relaxing and lowkey so im gonna do my best to recover. ive also been getting these headaches on and off since covid, but i think theyre getting worse and idk skckwkfnkemfm. i just have to fix this before school starts.

no wedding updates for now bc unfortunately our venue isnt booking yet for 2025 and thats when we have to have it (bc of my school + timing of other big, unmoveable family events). but we've picked a place + contacted the wedding party and everything is a go for that!! oh my god its so expensive. we've made a modest budget but im afraid ppl will judge us if its not super luxurious 💀 i also have a friend (more like "friend" tbh... its a long story) who put some doubts in my mind about our small budget akdmekfm so idk we're still sorting it out. doing our best to fit in everything we want while still saving for our first home 💀💀💀 but im very excited and looking forward to it!!

[dewaynezw0rld]

Diary of a beaten soul

Im back again to post after many years. I decided since i havnt been on here in so long id post an update. I know no one will see it but i love looking back on this page.

So, Whats been going on in my life?

Alot. I lost my father in August of 2023 after we found out he had prostate cancer. It nearly destroyed me and took everything i had in me and more i didnt think i had left to make it. I planned the funeral and laid him to rest. It was a beautiful service but he deserved so much more.

I am now 32 and my younger years are starting to fade so this page is kind of a time capsule. It brings me back to when everything was normal. I Feel so robbed after the Pandemic, It stoled so much time from us. I know that was heavy but my father meant alot and i had to put him first.

Ive lost 93lbs in a lil over a year, i hardly eat due to no apetite. Im chalking up to old age (LOL). In all seriousness i havnt had an apetite since i had the last bout of covid in 2022. I got 4 days sometimes without eating and force myself to eat something(Usually Toast). People worry and ask if im sick or depressed or even cancer but in all honesty its truly not any of that. Im just not hungry much. *If anyone has any suggestions they are appreciated* Ill post a couple pictures from last year and today. (Picture in white shirt took today 5/7/2024

Black shirt took last year sometime.)

My kids are growing up and every year that passes brings more joy. I think if i didnt have kids and a loving wife my life would be a tailspin from the heavens.

Life is hard and it has taught me to be patient with people and try to understand them. My father and i were close and sometimes wed bicker when i was younger but never to be point of anger. It seems stupid but im glad we had our lil disagreements cause it taught me a valuable lesson. Thanks to a man that didnt have to,I am now a father and raising my kids the way he raised me.

Patience, love and understanding are taken for granted today. Tell whoever you have in your life how much they mean. Please and you will never regret it, you will regret not doing it.

Who ever does stumble across this just know you are loved no matter how hard things are they will get better. I know it seems empty coming from a guy on the internet but life teaches you lessons and the more you resist the more hectic the reality will be.

If anything you can do for me is try to understand someone who you may not like or get along with. Even if it fails just try. Spread positivity cause we all are hurting.

[bpd-angelcake]

guess who's back 🙃

tw: lots of ed mention

hi lol where do I even begin first off like... lmao every time I come back on this blog I think of that one ask that I got that was like "do u come back on here when things are bad??" and no lmao not always

life hasn't been bad it's just been busy im always busy i work a full time job and my social life has been the busiest it's ever been and im thankful because I love my irl friends so much and I do love my job as annoying as it can be and idk things aren't bad. they're not.

but I know my mental health hasn't been the best lately and I can't even blame my bpd. I had a really bad episode at the beginning of February and I tried pushing all my friends away because I thought they were over me and didn't take me seriously and they all came back to me literally crying wondering what was wrong and I felt so shitty and they don't know I have bpd (I don't talk about it in person unless we're going to date because I hate when people perceive me a certain way once they find out I'm not normal lmao) so we had to get in a circle and talk it out it was so rough but honestly I have never felt more secure in a friend group before in my life it makes me so sick thinking about it because idk what I'd do if anything were to change but whatever.

but idk I was doing so good with myself I was on top of my skincare and keeping my room clean and following through with things and idk everything just fell through the cracks and I feel like I have no control over anything in my life once more. I'm trying so hard to be better but it's hard. I just started saving money again because I spent so much of it the past few months and I'm so disappointed with how bad my spending got and it wasn't even for a good reason lol so I am trying I promise but ugh I feel like I was up there!! and I'm back at rock bottom.

Another thing that's been bugging me a lot is my weight too... back in 2020 I was so thin and I looked good and I had done it the right way by dieting and exercising but covid came and I got into that toxic relationship and I gained so much weight back and I look in the mirror and I am so disgusted with myself and I hate it. I see all these cute plus size girls on social media and I literally love them and think they're so beautiful but I look at myself and I can't even deal. I have to be a bridesmaid for a wedding in October and im dreading it because I'm going to look so bad....

I ordered a cosplay a few months ago and it came a week ago and it didn't even fit 🙃 I almost had a full mental breakdown about it and tbh I am 90% sure it ran small (not cutting myself slack because I know I'm fat but I also know how to measure clothes) but it made me so upset I literally relapsed and I've barely eaten this whole week. I tried to eat a spoonful of rice because I was so lightheaded the second it touched my mouth I threw it up.

And now I feel so fucking lame because I'll go on edtwt and see these girls posting their stuff and they're all in their teens and it's like.... I'm in my 20's dude I shouldn't be doing this shit anymore but I do and I hate it because it's all I know and it's so comforting because I'm literally a professional at it like I know all the tips and tricks I know what to do when I accidentally binge I know how to curb cravings and what excuses to say when I don't want to eat in front of people it's so sad because I thought I was over this but I guess not.

I haven't weighed myself yet, I was going to do it tomorrow but ugh all I need is to see that number go down or else I might kill myself because I can't do this anymore!!!! this is my life I feel like I'm 14 again in the worse way. IDK I might start posting more about it (with tags ofc) so if that's not your thing I understand but it's all I have to make me feel better and I'm not looking for advice I'm not looking for tips I just want to vent and if you're going to judge me do it kindly please lmao bye

[lolexjpg]

dts s2 e4-6

e4: -sorry seb's "says who?" at the start of episode (in response to ferrari telling him what to do) GAGGED sets the tone for the episode PERFECTLY -mattia talks about monza the way indy drivers talk abt the 500 lmao -the whole "there is no #1 driver" bit makes me think hey r there parallels to be drawn between sebchal here and alonso/hamilton in 2007? just thinkin about it -before i get to far i want to share some thoughts: when i first watched this episode with NO prior knowledge it was rly hard to follow. after i heard about the specifics of the ferrari engine controversy (cheating), for the second watch i remember this episode suddenly clicking for me! this episode would've benefitted so much from a will buxton monologue explaining the juicy details for a newish viewer. i understand that there might have been pressure from ferrari to not include those details but it is such a shame, to have such a core piece of information missing and viewers have to try to piece together the narrative without it :/ -HI LAURA WINTER -very much get the impression that seb is like the family member who notices the generational trauma and going hey maybe we should change things to stop that and gets exiled from the family instead :) those sure are the vibes -HI CHARLOTTE -im sorry the back to back "seb has a lack of confidence with the car. and charles' car is not performing" like theyre the same car but you're gonna frame it like its seb's fault but not charles's? mattia choke -at the part where they're explaining the engine controversy--i still stand by wishing they explained it better and EARLIER because i think its much needed context for the first half of the episode too -at the end of the day all i need to know is that seb clearly thought that what ferrari did was wrong, and thats all i need to know if he says so then i believe it!! -the way netflix is trying to tease like ~oh imagine all the different teams he could go to! who wouldnt want him~ is so cheeky but also i NEED to know what this was like live when yall didnt know where he was going i'm JEALOUS i wish i got to be there for it all to unfold -double ferrari dnf at monza must've been crazy to watch live too lmao -seb zigzagging through all the photographers on his bicycle. love him -seb announcing his new seat the same weekend as ferrari's 1000th is crazy ex girlfriend levels of unhinged (pos). like posting ultrasound pics the same day as your ex's wedding type of shit. no one does it like him -sorry im incapable of watching ferrari episodes without writing an essay. hope you enjoyed

ep5: -the great daniel/cyril divorce -i cant remember who said it or where i saw it but when i first got into f1 properly someone talked about how Different things might've been if there hadn't been covid--since the season was delayed, the contract was signed before reneault could have any races with daniel that year--so daniel could only make that decision based off 2019 races -the jump clearly did not work out for him but alpine also went to shit too. but if cyril hadn't left who knows. i think all of daniel's choices make sense honestly!!!! he just got very unlucky -anyway their dynamic is insane and they deserve soooo many more fic than they have!! -"it's probably a bit like being dumped by a girlfriend, but she hasn't moved out of the house yet." christian did eat with this one. unfortunately -i love cyril but him being the one to actually complain about the pink mercedes feels very..... my wife is divorcing me so i'm gonna sue my neighbors over the property line -"i hate those fucking pink cars" oh i need to gif that. i'll be watching and i'll just KNOW like yeah that needs to be in the next gifset -i cant believe i havent mentioned it yet renault colors are the BEST daniel has ever looked i miss having yellow n black on the grid. maybe thats why alpine went to shit they gave up the best color combo they could have

e7: -pierre redemption episode!!! i think this is one of the best episodes ever tbh. very cathartic movie plotline really ticks all the boxes -HI PATRICK -ok but the fact that dts NEVER covered alex's podiums w red bull after milking the shit out of his missed podiums is a hate crime to me personally -onboards going through eau rouge are scary af. -filled with rage at how christian horner chews up new drivers and spits them up (even though its all so predictable at this point. no one will ever live up to the golden boy) -i remember seeing people complain that the williams family leaving wasn't given focus in dts, if anyone has any fun video essays about that i'd love to watch! -i do take issue with will buxton saying "red bull can't admit they made a mistake (with alex)" i think red bull made a mistake with promoting ANYONE too early and expecting too much from them, but not in a pierre v alex way. neither of them were given enough time or support by red bull to flourish. and they lowkey admitted that recently lmao -but it /is/ cathartic to know that red bull have tried to get alex back since then and he doesn't need his toxic ex in his life anymore no thanks ✌️ -i just know i'll LOVE watching this race in full -they set up the suspense so well for the end of the race -and it really is. if carlos had won this race with mclaren, his first win, how different would the trajectory of his career been -ANYWAY theres something that just always gets me about men holding all their emotions in right until they cross the finish line and they finally allow themselves to feel the emotions. (recent example that made me SOB was theo when he won f2) i also love how much it clearly meant to the alphatauri guys in the garage. last time that happened was with seb for torro rosso yeah? so its clearly so so special

[flyingcookierambles]

rant ig

in recent news last week on wednesday my idiot sister and her borderline anti-vax boyfriend got covid and now my mom is getting sick and we’re worried that it’s covid instead of a normal seasonal cold or mild allergy and im just hgioehgaoieh i hate it here no matter what i do to keep myself safe the issue is coming from within the house in my case my sister and her boyfriend stayed had dinner and stayed overnight 2 fridays ago ughghghgh i hate this i hate her literal deadly trash taste in men ghroeahgorehgreog i have asthema my mom has diabetes the idiot trash taste sister also has asthema and a lot of people in my family are 50-60+ year old boomers with various health issues from hard manual labor all their lives as blue collar workers plus my 84 year old grandma ghrueagihreuoghreaoghreio gheriogheovhdfovhav hgorehgaoeh agho plus we’ve started inviting my maternal grandma and her sister to our family parties and they’re like 70-ish or so and my grandma’s sister is only here now bc her husband literally died of covid bc some idiot step-uncle that i’ve never met apparently went to thanksgiving last year without being vaccinated and gave the entire family covid and killed his uncle im just hr igohreaoihraeioghaeoighraioheog ifoahgoheg i hate it here we’ve kicked my sister out to be with her boyfriend bc of the sickness but they were still here in my house i hate it i hate it so much plus the idiot borderline anti-vaxxer boyfriend is a carpenter and he insists on going to work going into people’s homes and businesses while getting angry at the mere suggestion of wearing a mask or doing an at home test and then whenever my sister talks on the phone with my mom she said that her boyfriend said that “she really ought to go back to work even though she’s sick” (puzzlingly her employers also agree despite it being a private nanny job for rich people on the rich side of town watching literally babies (2 kids under 4 years old, idk if they’re even old enough for a ovid shot) plus the employer’s mom died of covid just a few months ago wtf???) and that “my boyfriend’s coworkers all agree that we’re just overreacting about covid “and im just like yeah duh they’re all also constuction workers/carpenters probably who believe in some weird libteratiarn toxic masculinity where other peoples’ lives dont matter to them and grejaigerioaehoe hrgoaho ghreoag seriously im so sick and tired of thes i wish all stupid anti-vaccers a very get polio measles tuberculosis and die if you want to so so so badly bc youre a fragile little snowflake who either thinks that your “special macho dna will out-manliness literal bacteria” or “bill gates is putting microchips in our bodies for the (insert some most likely anti-semitic conspiracy theory about robot lizard alien overlords living in the sewers of atlantis)” and leave the rest of us reasonable folk who listen to science and doctors alone

in other news if i somehow get covid at least my steam deck came in + im literally working my temp office job + my retail job, so i can have an excuse for a break from my 7 days a week, 45-50 hours work that allowed me to afford a steam deck in the first place + we have an excuse to not go to the cousin that we don’t like’s wedding next weekend in ohio so gihiroeahgeorihgoe eh :/

im so tired

when the idiots stayed over it was in my sisters’ childhood room that shares a cold air vent with my mom’s room next door

ughghghghghghghg if we don’t get it at this point its a miracle

like 3/4 of all covid scares that happened to my family so far have been from my sister’s dumb libertarian anti-vaxxer/anti-covid boyfriends im just like kick her out of the house go away i cant take it anymore

if i have to call off work i want my sister to pay for my doctor’s appointment to get my inhaler prescription, my inhaler, and all the days i have to call off work, i would never get this normally, ive literally worn a mask all this time since like 2020 march when going to work even now i am the only one both my work places that consistently wears one and with this scare im eating outside in the cold windy autumn at the picnic tables for the smokers bc i dont want to be *that guy* who infects the entire office

ughghghghghgh i hate it here

[naterson]

SP LET ME SPILL THE TEA.

so my best friend got married right? Well I was a bridesmaid and spent the whole weekend with her and her hubby WELL the hubby didn't tell anyone he was feeling bad or sick SO he got really sick after the whole wedding, after dancing with people, being around both families and all!!!!!! So after the wedding I got sick and you know what...he had covid and didn't tell no one cuz he didn't wanna cancel the wedding 💀 so I got covid from him 😅 anyways it wasn't that bad I just had a sore throat, coughing, and nausea but both sides of the family all got sick with it 😶 but ya it was a nice wedding and all, got to bring my boyfriend and we got closer because of it 😊 my boyfriend also got covid cuz he was around me the whole time so we quarantined together snd I got paid for a full week of work while quarantined cuz im vaccinated, so I got paid to do nothing it was kind of nice if I wasn't sick 😂

That’s awful.. I’m glad you didn’t get super sick! I’m also glad you and your boyfriend are going strong. You deserve all the happiness Stank 💕 congrats to your best friend btw! I’m surprised they still pay people who get Covid. Here they don’t anymore. It’s not required so people don’t pay it. You just have to take the time off like normal sick time.

Anyway, I love you 💕

[scoups4lyfe]

Hi Karen anon here, long time no see (cause 8 just check tumblr like once a week and that just to read your liveblog. Usually i come to check it on Wed cause uhh I keep remembering the 30 hours anon lol chile anyway).

See, thanks to the newly added tags it did make my reading easier. But, I was scrolling for fun when I encountered the (excuse me if this sound rude) that mf 'interesting' anon. So pls excuse me while I put my Karen wig on

I know this is just Tumblr but people should really be professional. Your blog isnt a ship blog or whatever (though I noticed you just merely implying it sometime) so I found it really annoying that the anon attack you for something taht didnt have anything to do at all. Cause well, I will be honest. Im just interested in your blog bc of the fun af liveblog and the amazing analysis (i read the Ikki analysis so much its my bed time story/hj). And Im quite sure almost everyone who came to your blog is also come for the same reason. So what our personal ship is irrelevant to this blog (well at least thats how far I observed it)

*Taking my wig off* now that was done.

As always, I enjoy reading the live blog. Though I find it weird that in the ep 22 preview, it felt like everything go back to normal? Like Hiromi didn't just unalived down the cliff 😂. But well I will be anxiously waiting for that ep 🙏🙏

Also funny story, so I am someone who likes spoiler. So I will search spoiler on twitter first. Apparently, they all said that Daiji was useless in ep 21 and Im like "Naurr dont be mean to Daiji guysss" (bc they say that /every episode/ it basically a joke). Unfortunately, after watching ep 21 myself Daiji did feel even more....useless (this is strictly my opinion I swear lmao). Like, nah Daiji I cant defend you anymore like this 😂

Well sorry for the long af ask. Thank you for your hardwork and I will wait for the Oltecca(?) analysis. See you next week 🥰🥰 (take care of your health. The covid cases in country really spike up so hard this week 😔)

KAREN ANON????

Ayyyyy howdy buddy.

I'm glad the new tags help LOL

JDSKFJASDFJSDFDSF

THE KAREN WIG

'm glad for your wig'ed defense 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and yessssssssss

yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I'm glad you like my analysis posts LOL!! And awh <333 it's always nice to hear y'all are having fun with the nonsense I've thrown into the abyss aasjdfjsdfjdf

AND YEAH G, I felt the SAME seeing the next episode preview. Really lol'ed cause it felt like we went back to the 'monster of the week' episodes aksdjflkjsdfj.

Tho I know the writers like to troll with us so idk I wouldn't be surprised if every other moment in that episode is just 'sibs mourning' hours. Sooooo funny too cause if it isn't,,,, and everyone's actin like nothing happened lmaooo that's STILL in character

#repress repress repress LOL

AHHHH USELESS DAIJI !!! BROOOO

soooo funny that's Daiji's pet peeve about himself too lasjdfksdf ;;;that he can't ever seem to do anything (esp when it really matters LOL!)

See, Daiji hates being the "damsel in distress" but that's all he was ever taught to be (cause Ikki and Sakura literally did everything else) and that was another big reason why he went out into the world and got some crazy asf job -- because he wanted to prove to himself too that he's able to do things on his own

but likeeeeeee, idk old habits die hard hahahaha

(Also doesn't help that in times of great stress Daiji clams up instead of being able to properly react to the situation. Aka he just shuts down.)

My homie is still learning just *how* to do things on his own, and then the Kagerou fratricide-stint really had him back-sliding in any positive development he had previously LOL!!!

My homie is the picture boy for Learned Helplessness

"People that experience repeated abuse and other aversive situations eventually learn to become helpless if nothing they do changes it. It’s as if they internalize that since nothing worked in that situation, nothing will work in similar situations, either. The trauma begins to erode two other critical aspects of mental well-being — self-efficacy and internal locus of control."

haha yoinks. Man I wish we got more flashbacks of the Igarashi sibs past cause DAMN. Pls man give me some bread in this desert.

"Self-efficacy is your level of confidence that you can tackle challenges and learn new skills. Internal locus of control is the degree to which you believe your circumstances are under your control. When these two traits are high, you feel confident and empowered, even when things get tough. Stressors seem controllable, and you know that you can trust yourself to do your best.

When learned helplessness takes over, though, you don’t feel so sure of your ability to handle challenges. You don’t believe that what you do makes a difference, and that makes it hard to see a way out — let alone a silver lining."

(These quotes are taken from: 'What is Learned Helplessness and how do you 'unlearn' It?' blog post/article)

Anyways It's obvious that Ikki's over-parenting has lead to this situation. And I think what makes it worse is that Sakura is more useful/helpful than he is.

(She wants to be seen as capable so she steps up to do as much as she can / to manage what Ikki isn't able to)

So now he's placed in the position of being especially useless LOL.

Anyways, Daiji has a lotttt of problems :')). He's literally the perfect target for cult recruitment.

(Which might be one of the reasons why he's still so quick to defend shady ass Fenix. Fenix is one of the few things he positively attributes to himself, so if Fenix is bad then that just means Daiji's failed *again* at doing the right, correct, moral, 'good', thing.

It's the *only* thing he has giving him any lick of worth. The only thing making him useful. Everything he's accomplished will go to ZILCH the moment Fenix isn't part of the 'good guys.' So,,,for him its just easier to ignore all the red flags. Cause he doesn't want to hate himself more than he already does, rip.)

[artreider]

Let's try to get this final live blog on my station 19 rewatch done. I'm currently laid up on my couch in mild pain but unable to do anything else.

I don't really like flashback episodes but i want one for the premiere since we are jumping so far ahead. I hate that this episode starts with a fight. But damn knowing what the fight is over, i love how loyal andy is to maya in this episode. Something ive wanted for her and the team. Qnd also jaina looks gorgeous.

The fire scene yay another fire on the fire show lmao. Feel like we missed some last year which im sure was covid related.

The marina scene ugh chefs kiss. I love how happy and giddy they are. I do wish we couldve gotten to see some of their month apart communication and their quarantining apart those two weeks when carina got back. I wrote a little something related to that and i may share before the premiere of season 5.

The quiet moment between carina saying her morning was better than those 6 weeks and then asking about mayas folks was a beautiful and real moment and i love it. So brief it could be overlooked but great choice for team.

The little bit of danielle and stefania that was them and adlibbed in this episode was so great also.

I love that rhey addressed how everyone was able to attend maskless and how safe the wedding was keeping the real world element in. Also vic love you and your chicken dance comment makes me sad that we didnt get it.

Vics parents trying to talk to her about theo is so cute.

Poor lawyer she'd be good for dean.

I understand some people dont come out until late in life but that is hard to hear that you havent loved the person youve been with for decades like you do this new person. That would hurt me so much to hear, like i couldve been with someone who is my great love if youd told me sooner. I love/hate this storyline for travis family.

Ugh if this fire had gone on any longer those poor kids and elderly couple.

Haha andy you should wait until someone answers the door for you when visiting almost newlyweds or people who've been seperated for 6 weeks lmao.

Also maya's excuse and none wet (shower) sex hair i love it.

Ugh sullivan trying to defend himself makes me so upset.

Bailey giving ben hell about second and third opinions is funny, like i figure shed be all for it.

Inara and marcus leaving jack is sad. I hope we still get to see marsha in season 5. Also if they do pair jack and jo itd be a bit ironic. I mean jo too had an abusive ex like inara.

Also jack and his marsha have similar eyes, itd be something if it came out she really was his mom.

I dont understand how maya hadnt settled on what to wear she's queen of the clipboard lmao. Just goes to show how some things throw us off course. Also i totally get her saying her outfit choice will define her forever. I judge my look in my wedding photos all the time and feel like other people do as well.

Why do i feel like this exchange between maya and carina was mostly adlibbed? It just feels so fun.

This poor family and ugh i couldnt imagine having to make the tough calls of firefighters/fire captains.

Love that all the fire crew helped put the wedding on.

I understand travis emotion here.

How'd this conversation about maya's folks get started with andy???

I love that maya and andy's friendship is restored. Also famous last words maya, dont speak the bad juju into existence.

Dean you shouldve spoken up there.

Why the chief there? I live in a city and the chief aint showing up for a house call that needs a few units. At least not until fire is out of they for some reason cant get it out.

Lmao maya freaking out about wearing the same thing as carina. Andy therapizing maya is funny.

That poor boy.

The dad comments to ben are beautiful. Also love that so many of the team know how dean feels about vic.

So why is travis getting dressed separately than the rest of his team. I mean i know its because he doesnt know about Dean's feelings and pushes vic to give theo a chance as well as allow theo and travis to talk but come on. He wouldnt get ready separately.

Also what was the point of theo going to that room if not to get ready. Sorry just annoying.

I wish carina had had someone mention andrew to her. Whether ben, bailey, maya or even any of the fire team who worked on the call with him during the crossover awhile back. Her grief during this day of happiness should've been acknowledged, even with just a remembrance table for him amd other family she lost to covid.

I do love this beautiful moment with vic though saying this isnt all just for maya.

Oh my how i love the maya confronting her father. She is the brave i want to be. Also what she says to her mom, yes chefs kiss. However when her mom shows up at the wedding, really the woman couldnt grab a nice shirt or dress to wear on her way out or on her way to the wedding.

I also love the look of pride on maya's moms face both at the house and the wedding.

Im sad we probably wont get any moments of her living with marina due to the time jump.

Ugh the choice that cost maya her promotion but ahouldnt have.

Also with all maya's options for clothes, couldnt they had dressed her mama in something borrowed from maya. Lol im sorry it bothers me so.

Vic's song for the intro is beautiful. Barrett has a beautiful voice.

Maya is so happy her mom is there and i love it. Also in my head at least one person videoing is doing it for the greys family who couldnt make it to the wedding for carina.

I also love maya singing along with vic to carina.

Queen of the clipboard forgetting to write her vows is special and funny. I love carina talking her down from a panic attack. Also her simple vow is beautiful and how carina who probably did write her vows saying we're good instead of reading them after seeing maya's mom in attendance and the look shared is everything.

I truly believe that was the moment she 100% knew maya had changed from end of season 3, was definitely all the way in. She knew what it meant for maya's mom to be there.

Love the dance montage and improved marina kiss.

Another healing theo and travis talk.

Sullivan just cant let it go and ugh trying to justify it. I just cant, still not over it. Even if he isnt captain in season 5 it still isnt right.

Sullivan you cant say you have the teams back then saying you can control them and throwing maya under the bus. Those are contradictory.

This jack and andy conversation is interesting.

This marina conversation is funny but sad when you know the end of the episode.

Its so funny that so few people know about Miller's feelings at this point.

It'll be interesting to see the travis, vic and theo in season 5.

Ben and bailey are so cute.

Wish we couldve had conversations at the wedding with maya and her mom or carina and maya's mom or the 3 of them.

Inara is so wise. I hate this for all 4 of them.

Gotta love the ole grab em and pull em back to kiss them and let them know how you really feel tremmett moment.

Too late dean, they tried to tell you.

I love marina dancing in the background ugh sullivan and the surrera rehashing.

Time for the horrible news ugh.

Everyone just looking at marina and knowing is horrible.

Great season, great episode and im looking forward to whats next.

Thank you to everyone thats been following my rewatch blogging, and for all the kind comments. I appreciate it so much, made the summer so fun.

[kaimelia]

Hi, In Twitter and tik tok I see photos about Megan coming back to grey’s for Teddy and Owen

Wedding. Can you write something about Amelink in the wedding ? Please

last hope

a/n: me realizing you probably wanted fluff but. im a sucker for an amelia/teddy friendship and also angst!

"The day that was over ten years in the making," Amelia muttered, bringing her flute of sparkling water up to her lips. "Congratulations."

"Things finally feel right." Teddy glanced over at Amelia. "Thank you for everything you've done. I know these past few weeks haven't been easy, but this wedding wouldn't be happening without you."

"Who am I if I don't help plan my ex-husband's wedding?" Her eyes trailed to the dance floor, where Owen was dancing around with Leo in his arms. "Third time's the charm."

"Did Tom say anything to you?"

"He asked me to remind you that he's a plane ride away and that he has access to a private jet, so say the word, and he's on his way," Amelia wiggled her eyebrows. "He asked me if you were happy, and I said you were, and he said that he's happy for you."

"That doesn't sound like Tom."

"He did also add that you would be happier with him, but I was leaving that out for the sake of the moment."

"He keeps asking me about you," Teddy started softly. "Says you won't talk to him about what's going on and that he's worried about you."

"That also doesn't sound like Tom," Amelia laughed gently and looked over to see Teddy's stern expression. "He's seen me through bad times. And, I don't like to think about those, so I don't respond when he asks about me."

"If you ever wanted to talk to someone, I'm here, you know? Or if you just need a friend. I know what it's like to feel like everyone hates you."

"I'm guessing Link told you?" Teddy nodded slowly, a slight grimace across her face as she took a sip from her wine glass that lasted a second longer than it should've.

"He did, but I'm also assuming there's more than his side to the story. There was when I was in my own situation, and you were one of the only people to look out for me. You didn't have to do that, and yet, you did."

"He won't listen to me," Amelia whispered, her gaze trailing out to where Link was talking with Jo. "He won't even let me speak; he just shows up to get Scout and then drops him off like we're complete strangers."

"Owen did that to me, and then you went and yelled at him, and now we're here. Do you need me to go yell at Link?"

"No, not yet, at least." She looked down at her glass, swirling the small amount of drink left around. "I just want things to go back to the way they were last year. Even in the beginning of COVID, we had a nice thing going, balancing all of the kids and everything, and I just want that back."

"What happened?"

"Shouldn't you be dancing? It is your wedding, after all." Teddy waved her hand in dismissal and shrugged.

"I'm not a big party person. And, I know that talking to you right now is probably the only way I can escape the crowd of people because I look busy."

"Fair," Amelia muttered. "Things just fell apart. It was like, at first, we always had opposite work schedules, and when we were both home, one of us was leaving for work. And then, he got caught up with Jo and making sure that she was settled to get custody of Luna and everything, and it was like I became less and less important to him." She traced her finger over the top of the flute. "He stopped checking in, and it honestly seemed like he stopped caring about how I was doing, and then he proposed."

"And you said no."

"I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything; I mean, what was I supposed to do? Fall into a marriage where we don't care about each other but still wear our rings? That's not what I want Scout to grow up thinking is love."

"Do you still love Link?" Amelia sighed, and her hand moved to the charm on her necklace, the one Link had gotten her for her birthday this past year. She ran it between her fingers.

"I don't know."

"Do you want to fix things?" Another sigh, and she looked up towards the roof of the tent shielding them from the night sky.

"When things were good, our relationship was the best thing I've ever had. But when things aren't good, I can't even explain what it did to me." She looked over at Teddy. "He just doesn't understand what it's like to be an addict. Or, he doesn't try to sympathize with it."

"The thing I've learned is that sometimes, you have to put yourself first. You have a child, and you want him to grow up learning how to take care of himself and be his own person instead of being completely tied to someone else. I spent years idolizing what my relationship with Owen would look like, and when we finally got to that point, I didn't recognize myself as a person." Teddy placed her hand on Amelia's shoulder. "Don't lose yourself because you want your relationship to look a certain way. It won't work for either of you." She set her wine glass down on the counter behind them. "By the look on Evelyn's face, I don't think I can hide over here any longer. But, Amelia, anytime you need something, I am always here." She walked away, trailing her hand down the neurosurgeon's arm as she left.

Before she even realized it, her feet were leading her towards where Link was standing, and suddenly, she was right in front of him with her arms dangling awkwardly by her side.

"I'm gonna go," Jo muttered, stepping away after raising her eyebrows at Link.

"Amelia?"

"I want to fix things," she started, clasping her hands together and subconsciously picking at her nails. "I miss us and the way things used to be before it all fell apart, and I know that maybe we can somehow get that back if you'll listen to me and promise not to ignore what I need because I don't want to get married and I'm not going to change who I am so much to the point that I forget who I am for you." She exhaled heavily, trying to read the expression on Link's face.

"Why are you doing this right now?"

"Because I need you to hear that and stop going around and telling everyone that I'm selfish and rejected your proposal because I don't care. We both know that's not true." Link dropped his head down. "You know how difficult these past few months have been for me; why would you think it was a good time to ask me to marry you?"

"Because we needed some joy, and I thought being engaged and planning our wedding would be that joy. All you had to do was talk to me and let me know that wasn't what you wanted."

"And all you had to do was check-in with me like you promised you would do before ever proposing!" Amelia bit her lip after speaking, noticing how the people around them had turned to look as their conversation increased in volume. "Link,"

"We shouldn't be having this conversation here," he muttered, picking up his wine glass from the table. "I'll find you later."

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to see Maggie standing there with a sad smile on her face.

"Let's go home," she spoke quietly, taking Amelia's hand and leading her out of the venue.

"He hates me," Amelia muttered. "He hates me, and it's like it isn't even him anymore. That's not Link; Link would never act like this, right?" Maggie pursed her lips.

"I don't know."

"I had hope. I finally had hope, and I thought that if I went up to him and was clear about what I need, he would understand, and we could work on fixing things, but he didn't want to understand." She stopped walking. "What the hell did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Amelia." Maggie approached her and took her hand again. "I promise. You didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes, things just don't work out, and you don't need him to be happy."

"But I miss him," she whispered. "I miss his kindness, and how much he cared about me, and how no matter what happened, he would just wrap me up in his arms at the end of the day and tell me that everything would be okay. He would always listen and be the one steady thing in my life when everything else was falling apart." Maggie sighed softly.

"Amelia, you'll always have me, I promise. And if he doesn't care for you, if he won't listen to you, then he doesn't deserve you." She tugged lightly on Amelia's hand, and they resumed their slow pace until they arrived at the car. Maggie opened the passenger door, and Amelia slumped down into the seat.

She rested her head against the window, finally allowing tears to silently fall from her eyes and watching as the car drove away from her last hope.

[littlemisslipbalm]

hi so i just thought of this scrolling through tik tok and a vid popped with the song sleepwalk playing and i was wonder if you could write a one shot or something where harry styles and y/n meet at a halloween party and y/n is dressed as the corpse bride and harry is dressed as victor and they dance to the song sleepwalk

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS REQUEST!! I love the corpse bride and also have been meaning to get some writing up so I really grinded to get this out bc im literally busy 99.99% of the time at college so I hope you all enjoy and happy halloween OH AND BE SAFE AND COVID CONSCIOUS this would take place when covid is gone/doesn’t exist. LOVE YALL remember to like, reblog and whatever

(i dont usually take requests but always feel free to message me bc i just might do it!!)

---

On October 30th, she ascended the grand stairs that led to the entrance of the mansion. Within said mansion, there was the Halloween party of the year raging within. She hadn’t thought too much about what was going to happen when she arrived. The host was a colleague from work… that usually means it’s casual.  Except for when you work in Hollywood and your colleague from work is actually famous and invited all of their elite celebrity friends.

As it was her first Halloween in Los Angeles the rules weren’t exactly crystal clear. She strode up the stairs and was greeted by her friend from work. He was dressed as Quentin Tarantino and she laughed at the inside joke from work that surrounded that costume. They hugged and kissed and then he directed her into the room and pointed out the bar at her request.

When she reached the bar, eager for a drink, she was greeted with many smiling faces. A celebrity party was so strange. She saw actors and actresses commingling with musicians and other random celebrities you would have never guessed would know each other. Then, on top of that, they were all in the most elaborate costumes money could buy.

A specific costume stood out to her. A tall slender man, painted with rather pale skin and gaunt features, was dressed as Victor from the Corpse Bride. It wasn’t a particularly uncommon costume as the movie was particularly popular and it was relatively easy. Why it caught her eye? She was dressed as Victor’s counterpart, the namesake of the movie, the Corpse Bride Emily. She had felt a little self conscious about the revealing and torn wedding dress she had found. Her blue wig and makeup made her stand out enough, she didn’t feel like being the center of attention.

Luckily for her, celebrities are self-involved so she didn’t have to worry about that all. But, now she wondered about the man across the way from her. He was laughing and casually sipping a beverage with his presumed friends. As she waited for her drink, she watched him. The way he moved was entrancing. He seemed much more lively than the character he was portraying and it made her smile.

With her drink in hand, she took a sip and glanced around the room she was in. The dj was in the corner, spinning music that was Halloween and others. It had only been upbeat since she got there. About three songs had passed and just as it began to finally change to something slow, her eyes roamed to her Victor once more. This time though she wasn’t just looking at the side of his smiling face or the glint of his jawline as he listened to his friend. This time she was met with his wild eyes. They were piercing and strong. They were entrancing. Normally she would look away quickly when accidentally making eye contact with a stranger, but she couldn’t with him.

Sleepwalk began to play and it felt like the world began spinning in slow motion. Her Victor crossed the room towards her and she took a shaky sip of her drink, unsure what she was supposed to do as the man approached her. Like we said, she wasn’t exactly well-versed in how celebrities acted at parties. Was it normal for people to introduce themselves to absolute strangers. Plus, she couldn’t quite make out who this guy was under all the makeup he had on.

“Hello there, Emily,” he says as he stands closely to her. Not alarmingly so, simply close in an inviting and comforting way.

She’s not nervous anymore. His smile and presence calm her instantly.

“Victor,” she gives a curt yet flirty nod of her head.

“Would you like to dance with me, my bride?”

She laughs, unable to stop herself. “I’d love to, my darling!”

He extended his hand to her and she took it graciously, following his lead to the center of the room, where couples had begun to pair up and sway.

The somber tune floods the room as he takes her in his arms, pulling her close to his warm body. The fabric of his suit felt expensive underneath her hand that rested on his strong shoulder. His hands were big and warm too, full of rings and painted black. She felt utterly safe and welcomed despite just meeting him.

She leaned in and breathed in his cologne. Up close she felt like she recognized the man under the makeup, but she still wasn’t sure. As she studied him, he smiled down at her with an amused smirk on his face.

“What’s on your mind?” His voice sounds gravelly over the old-timey guitar strumming in the background.

“I can’t figure out who you are for the life of me.”

“I’m Victor,” He grins.

“Who you really are,” she pats his shoulder, swaying with him, following his movements gracefully despite the heels she had on.  

“Does it matter?” He leans down and looks in her eyes, a smile still resting on his beautiful lips. His eyes once again are piercing and she swears she recognizes them from somewhere.

She knows it shouldn't, she just hates the nagging feeling that she should know who he is.

“No...so how do you know the host?”

“I don’t remember agreeing to play twenty questions. Do you?”

She laughs into his shoulder, her head deciding to rest there, rather than be entranced by his face.

“Fine, silence it is, my darling.”

He snorts and nestles his head on top of hers.

“Don’t be mad, pet. It’s Halloween.”

She smiles at the nickname and his soothing voice.

The song begins to fade just as they really feel like it’s going to last forever. She lifts her head as another song comes on. He looks at her, expectantly.

“It was lovely having this dance with you, Emily,” He says when she’s silent.

“My name is Y/N. But yes it was really nice dancing with you...whoever you are.”

“It’s Harry. I’m Harry.” He finally admits and it all dawns on her, but she keeps calm. The pieces fall together easily in her head, how she knows him, why he’s here.

“It’s nice to meet you, Harry. I hope you have a nice rest of your night.”

She begins to walk away but he grabs her forearm and she turns around to see a grinning Harry. “It’ll only be nice if I get to keep seeing your face. You’re dressed as Emily, not Cinderella, so don’t run away darling.”

Tonight was going to be unforgettable.