#im not joking this is legit funny to me

[bottombaron]

like sry im going to be laughing at this for a long ass time, this is the best joke wwdits ever had

imagine writing a scenario you feel is so universal, like hero worshiping your shitty boss, and the generations watching this in the 2020's economy literally can not comprehend such an absurdity that they go,

"oh i get it, he wants to fuck his boss"

[sadisthetic]

I’m giving the designers objectively the right amount of credit. I’m a former lego employee :-)

doubt. even if you were, why are you taking personal offense to criticism to the show as a whole and are taking time out in your life to defend something under the mask of anonymity where you have absolutely no claim to your name? wheres your sense of professionalism? taking offense a silly small no name artist questioning a design element. in a caption of bloody fanart no less. and you say youre an ex lego employee! ex! so youre less relevant now. if youre not lying that is. you wont even say what your position was. lego employee is so vague.

anyways. because youre on anon all this claim does is make you sound like the "my uncle works at nintendo!" meme. im sorry to say that as an anon. you are nobody

by the way. by set design im speaking from an entertainment arts perspective. not the sets that kids buy in the store. im talking about sets that are Actually used in the show. this kind of design work.

http://www.cynthiahalley.com/ not ninjago related but this is MY definition of set design. aka. what im seeing in the show. not the simplified little toy models

anyways. looks like youre not done!

shakes out my hands. alright! you wanna play this kinda game? okay sure, ill play along! why not. i have time to procrastinate. you are rude by the way!

lets google that very phrase you gave here

mhm mhm! yup! that sure is the grate that jays prison was based on! but huh..... hm! im kinda curious about what the inside looks like. you know? the inside of the hold that jay is in that this is all about?

lets add a term to the search

huh! huh! interesting. that doesnt look like anything i saw in the show. hmmmm actually this doesnt give me enough sense about the architecture of the ship, so let do the same research that ive been doing for my own curiositys sake

cool..... pretty expansive actually. ehhhh i want a tour. this doesnt sate my curiosity enough. i wanna see what the grates underside looks like because im bored and obsessed with this lego show

i wont waste everyones time. an example is at about 11 minutes in

wow i learned a lot about ships. also i looked at diagrams. not that you ever had the thought to. hm. now how did the hold jay was in look like again

thats fucking stupid. in the few frames we are given of it of the different angles, its clearly just a fucking box. no depth leading to the curve of the hull, no visible door and likely no door whatsoever bc it would complicate things. a box that probably is in the shape of its opening. lets be real. this is a design that was easy and convenient for the cg modeler to make. ive done 3d work for a class. its hell. i dont blame them. but anyways. ppl who worked on this probably just saw the grates on the surface of the deck and was like oh we dont know what that looks like on the inside but its a perfect place to throw poor ole jay in! grab the trusty basic 3d cube. use difference to cut it out. add texture. and to be honest? yeah the story doesnt need an entire storage space to be built for realism sake. why would they do that for a cg lego show. lets get lazy about it, what do the kids know, whats important is that jays life sucks. the sparseness serves more of a purpose the bleak hopelessness of the pit jay has dug himself into

my point still stands. this is just a hole. it aint right. this is not how old ships were built. this cell was made for jays specifically for the sake of simplicity in both the production standpoint and story. its dumb but serviceable for a narrative purpose

but anyways so from this ive learned an important thing or two about you! you! dont know how to research! you! have only ever looked surface level. literally surface level, you saw these images of the deck and never even thought about whats underneath? the very thing ive been questioning? ive been talking about how its just a fucking cube this entire time. its just a hole. you given me more insight about ships so i thank you for that but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. youre very bad at convincing someone whos right

also you contradicted yourself. you said that "the concepts for the misfortune’s keep were done carefully" but then you go on to say that it "doesn’t require accurate research"? after telling ME, silly ole me who clearly has easily done more research than you, to do a bit research? hello? whats the truth? hm? what are you trying to prove now. doesnt need research because its "basic hollywood tropes" kay so whats been done here is nothing original because theyre copying whats already been done hundreds of times. great argument. dont get me wrong tho i love a good trope. especially when it involves things i enjoy. like jay having the most miserable time. heres the thing tho. what is being brought into question is not what HAPPENS to jay. its the fucking lazy set dressing. am i wrong to point out thats just a hole? its a hole. absolutely no deeper thought has gone into designing that. why are you so mad about it?

i do this for a hobby. criticizing ninjago is literally 75% of the fun for me. thinking soooo much about the shows i like and pointing out the bits that are wack is how i occupy my brain in my spare time. so what are you doing man. is defending ninjagos honor your hobby? get a better one. or at least more thought and consideration and media literacy. like im thinking about the show from a production standpoint as well as writing. this show has So many holes in it btw so theres MUCH to think about and mull over. a lot of stuff for me to play with. its nice in that sense. ninjago is a sandbox if anything. im sure im not alone in thinking this

thanks for the soapbox anon! youve overstayed your welcome! get out of my house! im just a guy with opinions as scathing as they are.

OH WAIT IF YOURE REALLY AN EX LEGO DESIGNER? WHY ARE SO MANY OF THE NINJAS GI'S LAPELS FOLDED RIGHT OVER LEFT? ITS BASIC KNOWLEDGE THAT IN A LOT OF EAST ASIAN CULTURES, TRADITIONAL CLOTHING THAT FOLDED IS FOR DEAD PEOPLE. NINJAGO IS LOOSELY (SO VERY LOOSELY.) BASED ON JAPANESE CULTURE. SO CLEARLY VERY LITTLE RESEARCH GOES INTO DESIGNING THE LITTLE LEGO GUYS OUTFITS THEMSELVES!!!! WHOS THE WHITE GUY WHO DESIGNED THE MINIFIGURES. I HAVE PERSONAL BEEF WITH THEM.

but if youre a nobody. byebye. i dont think you can come back from this. im done here. this was fun. drops the mic

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

At this rate I'm not gonna be able to unmute Gaiden spoilers before adding Infinite Wealth spoilers am I

[todayisafridaynight]

three months later and i still think it wouldve been the funniest thing in the universe if daigo and masato were A Thing at any point in time

[nomaishuttle]

if i was the bride in that video where they played an LMFAO WEDDING MARCH MASHUP? it would have been a bloodbath in there

[cherub014]

“children are weak and less social because of smartphones and social media” WRONG. children are weak and less social because schools have barred children from engaging in trading pokemon cards on the playgrounds. make your move elementary school system

[deadghosy]

WHAT ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL X EYELESS JACK READER ?!

Hungry for some kidneys 😋🏃‍♀️

STOPPP CAUSE I HAD A CRUSH ON HIM- WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME BRO😭 I THOUGHT THIS MAN WAS SOOOO FINE🦆💗 which he still is 🤭😘

HAZBIN HOTEL X EYELESS JACK! READER

prompt: an eyeless man gets dared to go inside of a cartoon for some free “food”

Ben had dared you to go inside of this cartoon show that was becoming popular. You said hell no of course….but then he said the impossible…

“Would you either go in the cartoon for kidneys or listen to me tell you the whole script of the new movie.” Ben says with a knowing smirk at which one you would chose.

Never in your life have you jumped into a tv before so quick. But here you are as you stand in the middle of a red twin with dead bodies around. So you smile behind your blue mask and got to work.

You were so busy kidney hunting, you didn’t notice a tall red figure behind you smiling intrigued at how you were only looking for kidneys with your scalpel. You felt skinny hands touch your shoulders as you immediately tried to stab the hand quickly. But it was a wrong move because you got pushed by some green magic.

“Quick reflexes. Amazing my friend! You would do good for this hotel im helping” the man said as you stared at him. Before you could protest you got transported to a damn hotel.

NOW ENOUGH STORY MODE TYPE SHIT! NOW FOR THE FUN🔥

I imagine Angel one time seeing you use your tongues to eat a kidney that was in disguise and Angel had so many dirty jokes for you.

“Omg, I bet you’re a woman pleaser aren’t you?” Angel says suggestively as you just raise a brow at him not knowing what he is saying.

Charlie would try to get you to wear brighter colors, but you literally deny it as if you are still stuck in your emo phase making Charlie get war flashbacks to her own emo phase.

Imagine taking your bluemask off and scaring sir Pentious into thinking you are a ghost to steal his eyes😭 so evil but so funny.

I can see husk literally side eyeing you as you just eating. Like he is just so confused how you don’t bite on none of your other tongues.

I know some people draw ej with black fingernails, but what if Angel had painted them for you instead 💗

Imagine a cartoony moment where Angel is like “ah shit I lost my wallet..” and STARTS TO LOOK FOR IT IN YOUR EYES 😭 straight up digging his hands in ya eyeless holes to look for it and he actually did find it with a smile saying “ah Hah found it!”

Legit Angel will remind you of Ben as Angel will shove his phone in your face saying some dumb shit like. “Do you see it? Do you see it ? Do you see it?” As he has a stupid smirk on his face. You snapped grabbing Angel by his throat as the crew tried to pull you off of Angel as he struggles to breathe. “It was worth it…”

I headcannon EJ! Reader and Alastor being compatible friends because they both eat from human meat. But both different as EJ! Reader just eats the kidneys as Alastor eats the whole things

NAH IMAGINE KID EJ!READER GETTING THE LEFTOVER KIDNEYS FROM PARENT! ALASTOR’S PLATE😭💗💗 (so damn cute)

“No no, you use the little fork and the knife to cut it.” “….I literally eat with my hands.”

Just two hungry boys staring at each other while discussing flavors to make out of people.

The egg boiz likes to bring you dead sinners as you had promised them to read them bed time stories for kidneys..I mean a fair trade is a fair trade. 🦆

Idk but for me it makes sense for EJ! Reader to bite someone’s hand while sleeping cause in the fanon! slender house they are use to pranks being pulled off so many times.

Literally husk was trying to wake you up cause it was your duty to do the bar tendering and you ALMOST bit his whole hand off if it wasn’t for Husk’s scream.

I can see Lucifer trying to show you his ducks because he found how amusing how quiet and blunt you are as he practically shoved a duck in your face forgetting you don’t have eyes.

“Do you see how cute and amazing this is?! It’s a duck that can do the splits while shooting fire!” “I see.” *awkward silence* “I’m so sorry-” “sorry for what.”

I can see how your dynamic with Lucifer is like “I think I forgot something x I have it in my hand..”

Charlie once had you in red as you actually just stood there while she took photos of you. It was like you were ready for the first day of school as Charlie squealed happy to see her new staff wearing red.

“SMILEE!” Charlie say excited as you just stand there trying to smile but it came out strained showing all of your sharp teeth. “Yeah don’t ever smile again.” Angel said in the background as you jumped at him like foxy in fnaf 2 😭

I imagine you just standing there as Alastor puts his arm on your shoulder like an arm rest. Literally you are “😐 what?” face as Alastor is obviously “😄 what a lovely day!”

I can see you and niffty just playing random games during break time as husk just cleans glasses at the bar. It’s a relaxing sight for once without you trying to get someone’s kidney.

I imagine you and Adam having so much beef as he is annoying asf to you.

“Why are you eyeless? So you can’t see how ugly you are?” “No, so I can’t see how fat you basically are so it won’t affect me.”

THE WAY YOU GAGGED HIM- 😭🤭‼️

I can see the Vee’s trying to get you on their side but you would probably just flip them off as you eat a kidney.

I can imagine Vaggie trying to find out why there is black goo on the hotel stairs to find you are crying since Charlie banned you to scalpel anyone’s kidneys.

Vaggie and Charlie give you the angel dust treatment and try to find any scalpels you have in your room

I can see after the battle of the heaven and hell, you would just stand there like “🧍🏾what the fuck just happened..” as you try to scalpel a few angels only for vaggie to pull your blue hoodie away from one.

When Lucifer first met you, he thought you was a teen demon who just got hired. He wasn’t wrong for the hired part, when you first spoke that man thought he heard god himself as his eyes were wide at you.

I can headcannon Alastor bringing a sinner to your door with a note that say, “eat well <3” and you just stand there like….. “did I just get adopted by a cannibal..” you said picking up the unconscious sinner and grabbing a scalpel.

NAH CAUSE I USE TO BE FERAL FOR THIS MANNNN😨😭😭💗💗 HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS ONE!🦆‼️

[s-zephyr]

i hate hate hate those vids online that are like "for my male audience" and then it's just something cool.... it's the "the female urge" all over again

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

hi, just wanted to say your writing is amazing and I would like to request a fic. If your not too busy and like this request can you please write a Luke x daughter of Poseidon. Maybe they have known each other for awhile and his betrayal really crushes her. Thank you. Also can I be 🐬 emoji. ❤️

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Smooth Seas Don't Make Strong Sailors

content: luke castellan x daughter of poseidon! reader fic warning: angst, legit no redeeming fluff sorry yall author's note: the title got me foaming at the mouth- something about a good title just gets me all hot and bothered- jk jk also like...luke is tricky for me. bc i cannot for the life of me decide if he's a soft boy who's just been hurt too many times, or if he's a cocky son of a bitch who's just sometimes nice???? like, who are you sir????? i dunno, makes it kinda hard to write for him bc i don't have a good gauge for him but im tryin!!

you were the first person to welcome luke to camp, helping him to drag annabeth and grover into camp. watching as thalia gave her life for them. helping him fall more gently into the grass. ultimately dragging all three of them to the big house. that'd all been you, at the time, an unclaimed child. a few years later, after saving a kid from drowning, you'd been claimed by your father. and you were pretty content with life! you had luke and annabeth and grover, and you loved to train. so what if the cabin get's lonely sometimes? luke was more than happy to sneak in way after curfew and help you sleep.

you and luke never real discussed it, one day you and luke just became you and luke. daughter of the sea with the son of thieves. and you guys had good fun, always playful and light hearted. you'd help organize the hermes cabin when it got a little too full and help greet new campers, kneeling to meet them and doing cool water tricks to distract them for their world view crumbling around them.

and then percy showed you. you felt so bad for the poor boy, losing his mother in such a brutal way. you found yourself drawn to the boy, unable to ignore the way his nose kinda looked like yours and his curls fell in a similar pattern to yours. but you shook it off, knowing annabeth would mock you for being so stupid. you were more than happy to help percy feel welcomed to camp, gentle hands on his back and funny jokes falling from your lips. percy liked you, clinging to your side like a koala. and then he was also claimed by poseidon. he stood in that river, eyes stuck on the spinning green trident above his head. and you pushed your way through the other demigods, your chest heaving as you saw this little boy before you. and he had no idea. he had no idea that that stupid trident was a curse, a dooming of fate and the sealing of a life of heartbreak before him. you refused to let him know that, let the boy live in bliss for at least a few moments, tugging him into your arms and giving him a hug so tight and comforting he was able to disillusion himself into thinking this was his mother.

percy then got a quest and you could just see the gods tightening their hold around his throat, never to let him be a boy again. you went running to luke, grasping at his arm and begging him to give something - anything - to percy to help him on this quest. you'd just gotten him and you were determined to keep him around. luke soothed you in the way only he could, promising to find something for the young son of poseidon.

and find something he did. a pair of his father's shoes, feathers and all. and you'd be oh so grateful in the moment. you thanked that damn boy with kisses and cuddles, smiling softly as you thought your brother was in safe hands. oh, how wrong you were.

those damn shoes. that was your breaking point, hiding in the woods with annabeth and watching luke and percy. the moment he mentioned that the shoes, intended to drag the wearer to the deepest darkest hell, weren't meant for grover but rather the boy you'd told him to protect. you trusted him to ensure the safety of those you loved and luke castellan was breaking your heart.

"you promised to keep him safe," you whispered, tears building in your eyes as you step out from behind a tree. but you were mad, too. luke could see it in the grip you held on your sword.

"no...no, no, y/n, wait, you don't understand! i-"

"i understand enough, luke. you said you would keep him safe!" you argued, stepping forwards and you could feel your heart squeezing inside your chest.

"we can do better than keep him safe! the gods, they won't stop. the prophecy-"

"shut up! you will not talk about things you do not know fully! luke, i know they hurt you and i know you just want to get even but this...this isn't the way to do it," you begged and luke nearly broke. he nearly told kronos to leave him alone. he nearly let the gods make him their playtoy again. he nearly called it all off, just because you asked him nicely. but...it was too late.

"come with me. we can show them what fear tastes like. don't...don't make me do it without you, y/n. please. if i have to fight you on this...well..." luke muttered back, holding his free hand out to you. you stared at it, unable to move. here was the boy you loved presenting you with a delimma; go with him and love him but destroy the one thing you loved for or stay true to the gods and break your own heart.

"y/n, you can't," percy whispered, reaching to grasp you arm but luke raised his sword at the boy.

"let her make her own decision-"

luke's words got cut off by the swiping of your sword. you cut the palm of his outstretched hand before knocking his sword back from percy. you were crying but also seething with a rage that luke could see bubbling behind your eyes. he looked down at the nasty cut on his hand before glaring back up at you. or what he believed to be you. it was a little hard to tell with the tears blurring his vision.

"i'm sorry. i love you...but i guess not enough," you told luke and following your sentence, you could hear the shattering of two hearts.

"don't cross my path again, y/n, because next time i won't be so kind. i may love you but...i don't think it's enough," luke bit out and the two of you stood there, swords at the ready and your love fizzling out in real time. then luke left, cutting himself a escape and running. bitterly, you though him a coward as you fell to the ground. you were inconsolable, your arms wrapped around yourself as you cried and cried. percy fell with you, words tumbling from his lips and his arms wrapped around you best he could. and all you could hear in your head was a voice, one that was attempting to be comforting but also get you back on your feet, over and over again, as repetitive as the tide and just as destructive to your sandcastle mind.

smooth seas don't make strong sailors smooth seas don't make strong sailors smooth seas don't make strong sailors

[duchezss]

My favorite details/moments from Trolls Band Together because I have a problem.

Lemme just get this out of the way and say the soundtrack is a certified banger oh my god.

When brozone tries and hits the perfect family harmony the first time the colors that they get outlined in are all separate, the three colors don't blend at all.

Just Floyd comforting Branch....😭 😭

Branch's little hops when him and Floyd were talking about the bunker WAHHHH.

The real emotions of Branch missing his brothers while simultaneously not wanting to see them like???

"There goes my back" when JD was throwing Branch LMAOO.

The entire design of Mount Rageous is so whimsical and gorgeous I'm in love.

When the whole screen shakes when JD hits the counter eh oh el.

"If there was a brother I'd do this for...I'd be Floyd" WAHHHH.

The old MTV style music video Watch Me Work has.

Floyd singing with the posters of brozone floating around 😭

"Tiny, Poppy, Branch, and this random dude" I SPIT OUT MY DRINK LMAO.

"Are you a narc?" OH I LOST IT IM SO DEAD.

All of Branch's old hairstyles being references to Justin Timberlake's real hairstyles.

"Poppy seed" awwwww.

Branch's little "yay" is so cute.

The ongoing ring pop joke is actually so funny I'm sorry.

The way Bruce and JD just throw Branch on command.

Bruce still being considered the heart throb even though he's got a dad bod, a wife, and children 😭

THE BLEEPED OUT CURSE WORD I WAS IN TEARS.

The amount of songs they fit into Brozone's back is actually impressive, and the way they mesh so well together??? Legitness.

"That's not an idea, those are shoulder pads" I just can't...

When Floyd's hair started turning white and he was going transparent....WAHHH 😭 😭 WHEN I GET YOU VELVET AND VEENER WHEN I GET YOU......(But also the details to show how fast his health was declining? Someone cooked)

Branch's iconic clue board.

Bruce holding tiny diamond since he's also a dad.

Branch trying to be brave and talk to the clown but as soon as Viva came at him he backed up. That's such a real response I love is so much??

Clay's hair being green? Which kinda hints that JD or someone made him dye his hair yellow when he was younger.

Viva calling Clay "Mr. Clay" is actually the cutest thing everrr

Clay and Bruce's handshake, I also kinda like that it implies that they were really close, kinda like how Branch and Floyd were close. I think it really separates JD from them.

Also everyone's reaction to JD being super cold while everyone fawns over Branch.

Clay's so smart 😭 (and autistic) I love him so much.

All the brothers cute dancing in It Takes Two ❤️

The very real response of Viva not wanting to talk about her trauma and also not wanting Poppy to leave.

"I don't wanna lose my brother either" I feel like no one talks about how brave Clay is. He's in the same boat as Viva, he thinks Bergens still attack trolls, and he's going out into the world for the first time in who knows how's long. Just because he wants to help save Floyd, like that's so sweet???

Floyd's dead face was way funnier than it should've been.

"I thought ghosts just floated away" the delivery on this line is unmatched.

Floyd speaking one younger brother to Veener was so 😭, especially cause you know he felt like Veener did when Brozone was still active (on a lesser degree ofc) I can't.

We don't talk enough about how fire all of the choreos are, like they got professional dancers to make these dances, AND YOU CAN TELL OML.

JD's need for perfection constantly getting in the way of the greatness they all could achieve.

Branch being the voice for all younger siblings out there who will never be respected by their families hit me. But I also think there's something to say about the JD's of the world. The older siblings they took charge because they felt they had to. All parties end up getting hurt.

Also Branch actually wanting them to be a family so sweet. It really embodies the naive hope of wanting to stay together that youngest children have, but it's not unattainable. You can still be close with your siblings into adulthood, no matter how much time has passed, and that's what this movie represents as it's core.

"I didn't think we'd both find ourselves tied up on this honeymoon" WHATTTTT.

BRANCH AND FLOYD HUGGING THROUGH THE GLASS WAHHHHHHHH. Also Floyd being the only brother to respect that's he's grown....I just love them so much 😭

The whole interaction of all the brothers reuniting while in the diamonds is so funny for no reason lol.

Viva understanding she was wrong and striving to do better for her sister >>>

BRO THE ENTIRE CLIMAX IS SO GOOD??? THE TENSION?? THE MUSIC??? IT'S JUST PERFECTION. THE SONGS CHOICES WERE SO GOOD, AND THE WAY THEY REARRANGED WATCH ME WORK TO BE SO INTENSE IS BRILLIANT. THE SONG JUST KEEPS BUILDING AND THE STAKES GET HIGHER, IT'S WAY TO GOOD.

"Actually I've got two really brave sisters" When the message of this movie is that found family and blood family are just as important as each other, and that no matter what you get to pick who your family is >>> 😭

When Clay falls hard while in the diamond, Bruce and JD immediately check on him, meanwhile he's just focused on Floyd. The older brotherism... 😭

The message of this movie also being that perfection isn't important, but rather balance, harmony, and communication are key. ❤️

The acapella opening of Better Place....just.....wow.....

Clay's adlibs eating everyone up??? Kid Cudi I was not familiar with your game hold on.....

When they hit the perfect family harmony all their colors start mixing, showing their respect for individualism and also for the group.

The way Floyd eyes light up when they're all singing is just 😭

Branch building the bunker for all of them 💔, Floyd remembering the waterslide, all of them hugging?? Just peak filmmaking idk.

"Jail it is" also apparently someone did the math and in our world the twins would get over 6 life sentences for their crimes hello???

All of the boyband references are so funny idc.

Clay being excited to get to know Branch 😭 also JD reading a book in the back that presumably Clay recommended him?? That's so cute? He's really trying y'all, they're all trying, and that just warms my heart 😭

*NSYNC making their first song in over 20 years for this movie is actually the craziest thing ever I'm obsessed. Also they all designed their little trolls which I think is so cute.

The last songs....just bangers....I can't even, I sound like a broken record, why is every song in this movie so good.

Fav adlibs speedrun (from the last two songs): Floyd little "yeah yeah", Clay's "dohhh, ohhh," one of the nsync members "show the wayyy", Bruce's "so excited", Branch's "ohh" & "ayeee"

The layering when they all sing together is too good. It sounds so gorgeous and if you listen closely you can hear each persons vocals.

Also I just need to talk about the music production and mixing for a second. This movie has three version of Better Place, all of which are unique. The main one is the NSYNC version, which is notable for it's little rap section. The Family Harmony version use's the intro/pre-chorus as the main part of the song. It also lets the song slowly built, and adds instrumentals as the song progresses. The Reunion version doesn't use the intro/pre-chorus, but rather mainly focuses on the chorus. It also uses the bridge from the main song as the post-chorus/refrain. Just a very creative use of the song tbh. Also the instrumental differences between Watch Me Work and Mount Rageous? Like it's the same song, but the way they add more classical elements and more layers to build the tension and the song as a whole?? I have no words. Perfection.

Obsessed with this movie. If you haven't seen it pls go watch it.

[hayleythesugarbowl]

hii, if it's ok can i ask for more dating Ian headcanons? like maybe him crushing on the reader and how he confesses?? thanks if you do!!

ian hecox x reader headcanons • part 2: the prequel

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist • part 1 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

a/n: omg love this idea, hope you enjoy these!! i love ian so much and im so happy to give him the love he deserves 🍒🩰

<— previous part • another ian fic —>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ian crushing on you would include…

ok so like i said you were a new crew member at smosh

and ian immediately fell in love with you

like i don’t wanna say insta love but like-

‘hey (y/n)’

and then quietly under his breath 

‘you look beautiful today’

he would find excuses to come and ask you for things or talk to you about a video

if he ever wrote you a reminder or note he would put a little heart after his name 

and you just assumed he did that with everybody 

until they all confirmed he most definitely didn’t 

everyone else at smosh totally knew how he felt about you before you did 

like babes didn’t smile that much before you 

if you ever needed a ride he was the first to offer 

and whenever smosh was doing a video featuring the crew 

he would suggest you every time 

once you hugged him 

and don’t tell anyone but he didn’t wash the sweatshirt he was wearing for a good few weeks 

mans was obsessed with you

probably asked anthony for advice

started dressing up more / developing a style to impress you 

and if you complimented his shoes or something he would wear them legit every day 

ok and then one time you were doing a truth or dab video

and ian got the question ‘name the person in this room you’d most like to make out with’ or something like that

and everyone could barely restrain themselves from making jokes about ‘knowing exactly who he’d pick’

shayne probably did

and much to your confusion ian immediately started blushing 

and was about to dab 

but then-

‘(y/n)’ 

to which you said 

‘what?’

and he said 

‘i’d choose (y/n).’

a pause, and then

‘well, i guess this is a good a time as any—ever since you started working here, I-uh-I’ve thought you were beautiful and funny and, um, I would love it if you wanted to go out sometime.’

and so while everybody around you was dying of excitement 

you walked over

and kissed ian right then and there

‘i’d love to go out with you sometime.’

and he smiled bigger than he’d ever smiled before <3

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<— previous part • another ian fic —>

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed this, thanks for the request!! also to whichever anon sent me the angela x reader fic request: if you’re out there reading this i promise i am working on your request!! 🍒💌

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Okay I know this is referring to a very specific phenomenon but takes like this still PISS ME THE FUCK OFF. Screenshot below.

STOP FUCKING MAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPERIENCE OF AND APPROACH TO THEIR ILLNESS ABOUT YOU.

Screenshot end.

[Image ID: two screenshots of a tumblr post which reads: ive been on tumblr a long time and i remember when everyone said "oh don't romanticize mental illness" and it was agreed that doing that was gross and a good way to kill people indirectly

but somehow we've come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don't want to get better and spread the idea that you can't get better as if it's gospel and it's fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say "hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it's not something you should accept."

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying "this isn't something that will work" "cool karen i'm depressed" "maybe it worked for you but it won't work for other people" and that's... just... im so sorry if you're 15. i'm sorry if you're in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn't get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of "happy".... if i had seen this shit back when i was ... oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming .... i think i'd have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself.

i'm saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that's causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone else's condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people "recovery is a lie", you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can't recover. if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better.

im team "cool karen ive got depression and that means i'm going to try this because i've got to try something" i'm team "romanticize recovery" i'm team "it isn't working now but it might in the future and it's worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn't work for me but it might help somebody else out"

fuck guys it shouldn't be an unpopular opinion to say "i don't want any of you to die". /end ID]

Stop denying the autonomy of mentally ill and mad people and saying "this is just your mental illness speaking and if you think this you need to be forced to recover for your own good"!!! You're a huge fucking ableist if you do this! It's something I've fucking accepted because constantly fighting against it was causing me MORE HARM than learning to live as a person with mental illness, fuck off!

Some people genuinely can't recover! Get this, some people have MORE SEVERE mental or physical illness than you. How is this fucking different than saying "[medication] or [treatment regimen] made my MCAS/POTS go into complete remission, so why are you still experiencing anaphylactic episodes despite trying every possible intensive treatment/med?"

(I try to only use examples I have personal experience with whenever possible to avoid unintentional ableism. This one is especially apt though as depression and most mental illnesses are not an acute injury, but rather a chronic illness. Remission is possible for some people. At least currently, a "cure" isn't, and recovery is usually closer to management than complete healing. Ofc not all injuries can heal either, but I think it's more apt to compare apples to apples here.)

Also, depression isn't the only mental illness, double fuck off!

Get this, I know my own needs and my own brain and my own illness better than you, triple fuck off!

Like yes, don't shit on positivity posts. In the same way anti-recovery posts aren't for everyone, if a recovery positivity post isn't for you, just move on. Filter or block if you need to.

That being said, there's a difference between positivity posts and posts that say "recovery/this aspect of recovery is mandatory". That kind of "positivity" IS causing harm. Stating "hey this isn't mandatory for recovery and recovery itself is optional, do what helps you most even if that means remaining mentally ill" isn't fucking "spreading the Word of Relapse".

Also "maybe it worked for you but it won't work for everyone" is quite literally not an attack and CERTAINLY not anti-recovery. There isn't a single recovery tool on the PLANET that will work for everyone. That's just a fucking fact.

All I can think of when I see this is that OP probably reblogged that post that basically said "you need to brush your teeth, if you don't you're harming yourself and are therefore a Bad Person, and if you can't, you can actually and are basically just refusing to recover out of laziness I mean because you're not trying hard enough I mean because you don't want to and your poor mental health is basically therefore your fault." Because yes, that was the implication of that post.

Refusing to acknowledge that people can be disabled enough BY ANY ILLNESS to not be able to recover isn't actually helping mentally ill people.

Like, even setting aside that I literally romanticize my mental illnesses as a healthy coping mechanism (signed off on by my therapist, in case you only believe people certified by the oppressive institution known as psychiatry), even setting aside that I have mental illnesses that can't be cured and that I don't want treated in part or in whole (I don't want meds or therapy for my schizophrenia, I only want to achieve functional multiplicity with my DID, as examples)...

It's not "spreading the idea that you can't get better" to acknowledge that SOME people can't get better. First of all, fucking curate your own online experience. Second of all, me saying I will never live without severe anxiety, as one example, is exactly the same as me saying I'll never be able to navigate the world without a mobility aid. It's fucking acknowledging my material reality. It's better for ME to stop wasting all my energy on the stuff that I either fully can't do or that hurts me to try to do and focus on what PERSONALLY makes my quality of life better, even if it makes me MORE ILL.

Finally, even if someone CAN recover, they don't fucking owe you that! There is no moral imperative for them to recover! If them choosing to continue to be mentally ill (by which this post only means depression, but even then), is triggering to you, that's a fucking you problem.

Give people the tools to recover, but forced recovery is inherently a form of violence because it violates a person's autonomy! Why don't you focus on building a society where the social conditions responsible for a good portion of depression are simply gone instead of yelling at mentally ill disabled people on the internet who make choices about their own illness that you don't like?

And stop fucking saying "if you make a decision I disagree with, it's your mental illness speaking and you're not actually capable of recognizing that or of making your own decisions (and therefore need "rescuing")"!!!

That's the justification used for institutionalization and psychiatric abuse.

That's the reason so many psychotic people who are not harming anyone have their psychosis forcibly suppressed via nonconsensual medication. (And quite honestly, even for those few that are causing harm, there are other options besides "lose all autonomy" and "be harmfully medicated into an approximation of a sanist concept of normalcy that is actually just drugging someone into docile compliance". Make no mistake, antipsychotics themselves are not inherently harmless and DO require informed consent. Though I am all for their usage by people who DO grant noncoerced informed consent; I'm not anti-med, I'm pro-consent.

It's not "normalizing toxic language" to literally argue for mad liberation and respecting the autonomy of mentally ill people. To say "I actually know my own self and experiences best and can therefore say this is not coming from the mental illness" or EVEN "it is coming from the mental illness, but I am still capable of making the decision to choose this anyway, because mental illness does not make me inherently incapable of consent" (yes, even if it causes the brain to be in an altered state, stop with that paternalistic bullshit), isn't something you need to "do better" about.

Fuck off.

Another thing: why do these posts ALWAYS go hand in hand with childism. It's a bunch of "15 years olds being hurt by the meanie adults who say they can't get better" and "toxic evil adults harming kids by teaching them that it's okay to make peace with being unhealthy because what's best for people isn't universal and our idea of recovery is very rigid anyway as proven by the idea that accepting your mental illness as it is isn't recovery".

I see you, 15 year olds who ARE mentally ill and are writing about mad liberation and anti-recovery and are wildly more capable and coming up with ideas in those veins that are blowing us all out of the water. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you, and my only wish for you is that you find the peace, whatever that means, that is best for you.

Just...

"if I had read this at 12 I would have actually killed myself" I'm glad you didn't, then, but that doesn't mean the sentiment shouldn't exist.

If anti-recovery isn't for you, that's fine. What's not fine is acting like it's inherently harmful and is a form of violence against every mentally ill person ever. Because many of us have been harmed by a culture that is "pro-recovery" and its logical extreme, forced recovery.

[hyperfizationss]

Uhhhhh Ben Reilly with a goth gf that is silent most of the time and has a monotone voice

Idk, I think it's funny

Ima trin this into headcanons and some blurbs

-I JUST LEARNED HE BLEACHES HIS HAIR

-if you dye your hair black or another color atleast once he’s helping you with it

-I feel like whenever he’s not crying over his “tragic” backstory he has puppy energy

-so him with a goth monotone gf just seems hilarious

-he totally wears eyeliner,and guess who does it for him *𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂*

-the monotone voice thing definitely scares him at times

Ben:“Do you love me 👉👈”

Y/n in the most unhappy tone on earth: “of course”

-that has happened multiple times

-it’s even happened even when you almost died

Ben: I could have almost lost you!you know I love you right!im so happy your ok

Y/n again with the dead voice: im fine Benny,I love you too

-I imagine you would also have goth friends,and they would be so confused how you got with Ben,they’re like

Goth friend: he has an emo haircut,are you sure about him

Y/n:he’s not even emo

Goth friend:you concern me

-he makes so many big/small titty goth gf jokes,I mean if I had a goth gf I would too

-he has tried to mimic your aesthetic but you told him his suits him better

-but believe me black lipstick on this guy is amazing

-couples Halloween costumes since we’re almost to spooky month

-I’m a sucker for total drama, and your gonna sit here and tell me ben wouldn’t be Geoff🤨

-legit stupid

-anyways

-I imagine you like to spook around corners and shit to scare him sometimes on purpose,other times it just cause all the black meshes in with the shadows

@tookiostarzz

[nomaishuttle]

like pirating is so normal 2 me i forget there r ppl who r like antipiracy which btw is stupid. obviously

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 01.17.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

motor head - @jeonjcngkook (jjk x reader | fwb, angst, smut, pwp)

summary: jungkook doesn’t like seeing someone else have your attention, so he decides he’s gonna do something about it.

feel like ive been here since the conception of this majesty?? like i was here for the horny discord chats n edits about motorcycle jk, therefore, it's only fair that i can gatekeeper him... mine. ALSO NOT U STARTING IT OFF W GETTING SANDWICHED BETWEEN MY BIAS N BIAS WRECKER?? THE DISRESPECT OF IT ALL!!!

^the feminism leaving my body when sav writes about jk manhandling oc n having her use his bike as a vibrator

^^me regaining the feminism when she whips a whole tape measure at him theme shits is HEAVY LMAO

also like... your brain w this fucking smut bro?!?! it's literally one of the hottest smuts ive read in a v v v long fucking time?? THE JUMPER CABLE HANDCUFFS LIKE GTFO??? SHAKESPEAREAN OF SMUT REALLY!! and i completely get where oc is coming from bc some of the things he said had me side eyeing like... repressed feelings maybe? but then is he just super possessive and his anger/hurt came from ego n not emotions... genuinely love when the characters are hard to read like thats everything. n she better fuck taehyung >:( BUT RUN DONT WALK TO READ THIS UGH IT WAS SO GOOD BBY LIKE NO WONDER SHE WAS DOING ROUNDS IN THE TAGS!!!!!!!

tales of broken hearts - @taegularities (kth x reader | ex2l, childhood sweethearts, fluff, angst, smut)

summary: when a work trip brings you back home, you don't expect for anyone to await your return or remember you. but despite the time apart, taehyung still does - still looks at you the same way he used to five winters ago.

rid, im not joking when i say this is everything i want in a fanfic. like ex2l always gets me, and you legit mastered it with this one. something about right person wrong time just does it for me. that opening line was so simple but so so so beautiful:

"Love doesn't bloom during frigid winters."

and your ability to fully write in the pov of the character that you've crafted is nutty. like on the outside, it seems like a simple thing to do, but ik from experience that it's really not. like the way you perfectly represented oc's bleakness in the beginning through the word choices, that only shifts when taehyung is being discussed, is a1 storytelling. and same with him, like even when things are falling apart, the metaphor compares oc to a star, n that's how he sees her despite the circumstances. IM EMOTIONAL!!!

and idk dude i think i feel so strongly about this piece bc i relate to this oc sooo much. like the way ur desire to get out of ur current situation bleeds into every aspect of ur life n ruins relationships n u end up even worse than u started off in a lot of ways- NOT THIS FIC BEING A WHOLE HIT PIECE RID LMAO >:(

they deserve eachother sm and oc deserves a happy easy love and THE ROUNDABOUT MOMENT IN THE END LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I LOVE WHEN EVERYTHING TIES IN AND UGH I FUCKING CAN'T THIS WAS A MASTERPIECE LIKE I NEED TO SEE THIS ON FILM BBY THE BIG SCREEN!!!!!!!

posting this a lil early but who gaf :')