#im only vaguing here because nobody looks at this blog and its for me to put my unfiltered thoughts

[gwensy]

sorry for reblogging fugly trends from 2012 it's for my enrichment

[ravegore]

"Raw as fuck" ass shit yeah i bet you think it's so based to vague people you don't like huh. You're 24 stop embarrassing yourself and grow the fuck up this is so childish

[damnfandomproblems]

Okay, it may be time for another one of these sort of inbox reply compilation posts, regarding the same post Problem #5168 and the ensuing reply exchange.

One more reply from the OP of #5168, responding to this ask:

Being passive aggressive and acting superior is ALSO rude. Therefore, since it was done in reply to my submission, i have every right to swear and tell that person where they can shove it. Im not trying to say you cant give me what i give you. Swear at me too if you want. Idgaf. I just refuse to be told how to speak. People wanna act like they no longer take me seriously because i swear, but decide to argue with me and tell me they dont like that i swear. Make it make sense. idk why I'm being singled out lol. Maybe because I'm actually responding to it. Hardly do i ever curse at people. I didnt call anyone a bitch or use any particularly offensive language or anything. All my cursing in my submission was used to express my anger with the exception of telling vague people to fuck off. I swore only 8 times. Yet the first anon that submission got acted like it was truly difficult for their pure, swearword free mind to read. Like seriously how does cursing and being angry make something "hard to read"? They must have a hard time reading everything here. Honestly i think they should look to read somewhere else because this blog is all about people's problems. Everyone's angry about something or another. Ig my submission was just tooo angry for people. Guess i crossed a line by being angry and cursing in my submission. Its such a stupid thing to argue about too cuz most of these people agree to some extent but for some reason they just cant handle me being upset? I can't wrap my head around why they care so damned much about whether or not an argument has swearwords or not. There's literally no need for me to censor myself here.

And a few others' replies, regarding this exchange.

Anon:

My dude, you're accusing others of missing the point, yet in your very first paragraph you're already going on about "professionalism" when that's not what anyone else was talking about. You're putting words in their mouths.

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Anon:

This is becoming such a strange conversation... Even if someone is being passive aggressive and or a dick to you, stooping to their level and then some by telling them to shove a post up their ass is just childish. Secondly, are you willingly ignoring how that anon pointed out that nobody cared if you responded "professionally", it was about just doing the bare minimum? "Professional" is a pretty wild word to use, nobody was suggesting you have to sound like you're working as a bank teller. Maybe the other anon pulled something out of their ass but where did "professional" come from but your own ass...? I don't know, just reading this whole thing is just perplexing me. ^^;;;

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Anon:

Can the two people arguing through the askbox get a room already

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Anon:

So this whole "fuck" debacle is happening, and I can't stop laughing because all I can think of is this scene: https://youtu.be/PmCLeTqD4hY?feature=shared&t=44

(It is a YouTube link to a clip from the South Park Movie)

[gluevah]

"Have you heard of the drama if you will happening in another community on a different social media website? This is vague because some people who like stuffed animals also belong to the other community." omg this is literally exactly the kind of semantically useless vaguepost anon i was complaining about a little while ago; there is zero information being offered here it's like the asker never learned the five Ws (who, what, when, where, why) that are necessary for actually useful communication. like, what kind of answer were they expecting??? you are not a psychic mindreader with perfect knowledge of everywhere on the internet the asker visits! other anon i say this out of compassion: if you talk like this in real life, it is only a matter of time until you drive away almost everyone who does not have the patience of saints necessary to unravel the byzantine cryptic nonsense that comes out of your mouth. clear, direct communication will save you and everyone around you a tremendous amounts of trouble gluevah, sorry, im just beyond frustrated and this persons asks have me so close to just unfollowing you because they are so infuriatingly (and apparently intentionally!) obtuse; its literally a step away from being a Mad Libs; if they didnt specify stuffed animals it straight up would be thewordfinder (DOT) com/wordlibs/story-915/

I was unsure whether or not to post this ask, because I don't want to be a conduit for hurt feelings, but I do agree the vagueness is getting a bit out of hand.

I literally cannot adequately answer asks if I don't know what the question is. And I get not wanting to bring drama to my blog, but by asking me "have you heard about a drama happening in this other place," that's literally what is being done. I've posted silly BaB drama here myself, I don't mind discussing the various goings-on of the internet with folks but in order to actually discuss anything, there has to be something to discuss! Avoiding hurt feelings is important, and I appreciate people not wanting to invite drama or harassment by asking me about other people's business. But if a situation is so likely to cause people to angrily flock to my inbox just from it being mentioned, to the point where any bit of information is stripped from the message, maybe it's better not to bring it up at all just to be safe? (Also if people do come in my inbox being rude I can just block them lol. And I am literally a nobody so I don't think I'm on anyone's radar enough that discussing a situation from reddit would incite the hordes.)

I've been putting up with the intentional vagueposting because I appreciate people trying to look out for me and not wanting me to be harassed. But it really has gotten to the point where it's frustrating me, and seeing someone else also be frustrated has made me realize that it's okay to not put up with things just to be nice?

So I'm not answering any more intentionally vague asks. If I can't tell what's being asked, I won't answer. If it's an established inside thing, like "our favorite redditor" or something else that I can actually recognize without specifics being mentioned, that's fine. But no more "did you hear about the thing in the place with the thing?"

[nyctospoilers]

idk watching demyx makes me think I get the feeling he knows more than what he puts on and if Luxu managed to get into the orginization what makes you think the MoM wasn’t keeping close watch from within the fact demyx kept emphasizing he’s the least expected to be on radar for anything suspicious made me put him at the top of my list 🤔🤔🤔

Honestly this reminds me of back in 2012 after DDD, I said “Yo I think Demyx is gonna be a nort! He knew from the beginning that nobodies have hearts” and I remember being shut down with that theory. So take THAT rude youtube comment from 2012!!

I’m still not quite sold on the Demyx being MoM, but I’m not against the theory either. The reason why I’ve yet to jump onto the Demyx is MoM train is because while from Demyx’s side, the theory looks promising, I believe that from the MoM side, there are things set in place that don’t quite line up with the theory. Either way, let’s play with it a bit:

The thing about the “Demyx is actually MoM” theory and how it’s affected by the confirmed “Xigbar is actually Luxu” reality is that now, the possibility of this theory can go two ways. One way, that Nomura already used the “suspicious character is actually of major importance” trope and thus wants to avoid using it a second time. The second way, is that Xigbar-while he actually is luxu- is still, in a way, a distraction, so that we are so focused on his big role that we glance over another character. Clearly, the attempt of Xigbar being a distraction didn’t work, as I’ve seen the “Demyx could be MoM” theory pop up a LOT since KH3′s epilogue came out.

((this actually came out longer then expected so I’m finally putting an analysis on this blog under a read-more lmaoo))

From Demyx’s side:

No matter what, we know what Demyx can use the keyblade, thanks to the revelation from Xemnas. However, we don’t know if he and Luxord are dandelions like Marluxia and Larxene, as they’ve yet to appear in KHUX. And we can’t forget that it’s still possible for current people to use keyblades, like Axel and Riku. I feel like it’s important to distinguish that just because Demyx and Luxord are worthy of the keyblade and are in the organization, that does not confirm they are dandelions or from the Age of Fairytales in general. Taking this into account, we also have to be careful that any future indication of Demyx using the keyblade is not necessarily the same as Demyx being the MoM. So for future KH material, let’s take that into account.

But that’s for the future. Let’s talk about the now and the past.

Demyx and MoM do share a lot of personality traits, but I remember the same thing being said about Xigbar and MoM. Still, for debates sake, let’s address these. As I said earlier, Demyx knows about nobodies having hearts as he states so before fighting Sora in Hollow Bastion in KH2. This may be a throw away line, or it only started out as one, and is now something Nomura would like to touch on in the future with Demyx’s character. In this same scene, we have a silly character who panics at the idea of work. But then he suddenly gets his act together with “Silence, traitor.” There’s also his line in KH3 of “I can be imposing... when I want to be.” MoM shared a similar character trait of overall being silly (but let’s note that he wasn’t necessarily lazy like demyx) and taking a sudden serious tone. 

We can also talk about the similarities between Demyx and Xigbar: one is that neither characters faded away on screen like everyone else. Xigbar’s was suspicious as hell, falling behind a wall and that’s it. Demyx, was even ever seen again after delivering Ansem to Ienzo -or when Xemnas revealed Demyx and Luxord could use the keyblade, i can’t remember which cutscene came second. Either way, the fact that we have no clue what happened to him raises suspicion. Demyx sits in a weird place. He was benched like Vexen. Vexen was able to regain himself (he has green eyes in KH3′s ending when waking up Namine) without us ever actually killing him, so it’s possibly that Demyx was able to do the same. And it’s possible we never see Demyx in KH3′s ending because his level of importance is [currently] equal to that of Luxord, who, even though we DID fight, we never see him in the ending either. So Demyx and his current canon position sits between Vexen (not being beat by sora) and Luxord (not being seen in the ending).

From Master of Masters’s side:

We, of course, don’t know exactly what happened to the MoM. All we know is that he “vanished, dimmed, andfaded” without a trace. From the current Kingdom Hearts logic that we know of, there are a few options of what this annoyingly vague phrase is referring to:

MoM time traveled to the future (either without a body like Ansem SoD, or with a body like YX)

MoM waited in a different realm OR worldline. Note realm and worldline are two different things. realm refers to the Realm of Darkness or Sleeping Realm, and then worldline refers to something similar to where the Dandelions went to. I’m also putting what happened to the Foretellers in this section, though we don’t know where they resided up until being summoned back

MoM took the Luxu approach, and actually lived all these going from vessel to vessel

[There is also the idea that the MoM as lived all these years in his own body, but seeing as we’ve yet to see something like that happen in KH, i’m not going to rule it as a possibility. let’s work with what we already are familiar with in kh]

I’m assuming that when people are suspicious of Demyx, it’s that he’s in a similar situation to that of Braig, and that Demyx’s body was overtaken by the heart of MoM. But it’s this exact theory that I believe goes against what we know about MoM.

Why would the MoM give Luxu his keyblade and box, and then do exactly what Luxu did and watch over the ages himself? They Gazing Eye exists so that the MoM can still see the future, while not necessarily being there. Otherwise, it’s completely redundant, no?

The MoM wasn’t even sure if he would disappear- which is in-and-of itself something extremely interesting. The MoM can see the future, so why did he say "I might disappear one day” and that it’s “anyone’s guess right now” (he said those to Aced). If the MoM was only going to jump vessel to vessel, only to end up in Demyx’s body, it sounds a lot more definite, in my opinion.

However, there is the option that as a heart, he traveled to the future, and then took over Demyx’s body. But even then, Luxu states that everything with Xehanort, the reenactment of the keyblade war, the summoning of the foretellers, all of THAT was to bring back the MoM. If the MoM just time traveled to the future to then possessed Demyx, then all of Luxu’s role was a complete waste.

[[and here I went to use the restroom, and lost my complete focus and train of thought OTL so I hope it’s okay I post this as is]]

[kcllmongers]

We putting in our 2 cents? Hold my beer. 

Ahem. 

I come in peace. I want to have a genuine conversation with anyone who wants to agree or disagree because of well...growth lmao. I’m not going to rant or shade. There’s two things I want to talk about. 

1) Why do y’all care so much about this bitch who plays multiple characters (when you niggas do the same. don’t front) 

2) Why not take advantage of this thing called a delete button? 

First thing’s first. We can’t talk about niggas being sensitive when y’all sensitive y’allselves. It’s just a different type of sensitive. Not the delete and post unfollow but the “I’ma rant in my mentions all day” sensitive. Hate to break it to you but that’s being sensitive. You are responding passionately to someone’s comment on you, your development or you’re expressing how you feel about something. Shit I'm being sensitive rn because I really could've kept my mouth shut but I have feelings about stuff. 

Dipping after causing a mess is being sensitive because well, like many pointed out, you caused it and knew what you were doing so don’t post your unfollow after causing a disturbance. Fuck it and move on, tf? You thought exposing IMs, calling someone ugly, saying you’re slap them all of that WOULDN’T cause a problem? People pick out these FCs and go into this with failing muse already after the first week and it doesn’t help when someone wants to randomly slap you or if you’re called ugly. Personally? I’d laugh and move on but some people are different and you can't be mad at that. Just like we learned and grew from our experiences, we need to let the new comers do that. If you got some dope plots, good development, and having fun then fuck the sensitive bitches you’re talking about and keep it pushing. 

Let me skip to number 2. This is all fake, which we can all agree. This community started as an escape for alot of people and still is. We’re grown now. You’d think with bills, rent, jobs and now new relationships we know how to handle things like adults. The only person controlling your good time is YOU. I’ve stopped giving a fuck what people say about my characters, to my characters on anon because this is all fake. I’m not really the person I’m playing and I have a slim understanding of the whole I  “I'm working hard to play this so the anons are annoying” shit but none of that will matter come the next rp. And if you get that discouraging anon. DELETE IT. You literally have the power to delete the hate and to make them feel small. Turn off your anons, ignore it. I’ve enjoyed my time in rps way more when I don’t respond to anons even if it’s with a funny comeback, meme, gif or whatever. But you know the minute you answer 1 of them hoes, 5 more come up so why continue to do pay pussy bitches any mind? Why make the admins mad when they tell you to stop posting them? I wish I could delete racism, homophobia, colorists, slut shaming, rapists, murderers, shit I want to delete the president of this here country but the beauty of this community is that you can literally come here and delete the toxicity away. Be somebody different and not you. But you niggas choose not to and say people are ‘ruining’ things. No. No one is forcing you to answer or do anything you don’t want to. We have full control of these keyboards and if you get a hate anon? Fuck em and keep doing you sis. Period. Now, going into number 1. This is long so strap in.

I said the only person controlling your good time is YOU. This is an anonymous platform all around. Its not just that anon button. On Tumblr you can have real blogs with your face but in an rp realm its your fave as your avi correct? In WC its your fave correct? Fake aliases and all sis. I’ve been on the phone with some people a few times and there’s only ONE person who’s ever seen my face in the 8 years I've been doing this and ive seen theirs. Now, many of you are closer and know names, locations and all of that. That’s cool and fine but some people don’t want to do that. But even then, how do you really know who is who with all these FCs and platforms? Because your friend said so? That don’t mean shit. It’s scary and it’s even scarier when maybe you’re surrounded by the same bitch in different FCs but stressing out over this person who does this is just a waste of your time and has to be the biggest downfall in this community since that shitty ass blackout that nobody took seriously. Good times but it wasn't hard to figure out photoshop. Anyways. Everyone has their assumptions and honestly who knows the truth? What are we looking at. Typing patterns? plot similarities? FC usages? I mean come on. This is the most vague evidence ever and I know niggas were full of shit when they were saying who this bitch was turns out it wasn’t even them. I knew niggas were full of shit when at point I heard my character was apparently this bitch and it’s just like...naw lmao. My limit might be TWO and honestly I only get the second if it’s a FC I really wanted and eventually the other one dies off but talking to myself? Smutting with myself? 3 WCs? It makes me chuckle at the thought of people thinking I even had the time. I don’t even want to talk to other people sometimes and you think I’m going back and forth between a computer/phone or whatever to do that? Nobody knows me but if y’all did it would be laughable too. I’m so god damn lazy it’s not even funny but listen if there’s a bitch that does that in this community...let them. What does that have to do with you? They’re ruining your development? Your good time? WRONG. 

 Worry about you. Your character and your shit is all that should matter so you can take pride in it when you’re done. Not the hours spent figuring out who is who. You could be thinking its the bitch and it’s actually one of your friends and Ive seen it happen. So what it’s the same plots? People develop differently. We still got CBs with anger problems, Dave Easts who move bricks, Rihannas who don’t drop music or act boujee as hell, Saweeties who act ghetto and so on. Y’all FCs act exactly how they usually do ooc and no one bats an eyelash until it’s someone they don’t know doing it. We all based our characters on real like shit they doing. It’s why we choose the characters because of their resources and development. Same with playing multiple characters. I’ve watched y’all sit and pick out MULTIPLE FCs for new rps but nooooooooooooooooooo let’s blow the sirens for this one girl who’s single handedly bringing down he community right? You’re blaming the downfall on ONE person at this point and it’s laughable because who’s at fault for this shit right now? And don’t say sensitive people because we just spoke about this lmao.

And honestly, if this bitch is that irritating. And you feel it in your core that it’s her. Just tell them straight up. I've done it. I get word that it’s most likely them, they do some funny shit and I dead it. Open our plot, cut off connections. Nope. It’s just not me and with the stories I can’t be bothered with he mess. It’s that easy. you literally have the power at your finger tips to better this community by deleting anons, blocking the bitches you can’t trust and just simply telling someone no. But you guys choose to entertain anons or the people in your IMs asking for smut then go to WC and complain. Your next IM shouldn't be sliding into the pussy or on the dick but should be “I'm good luv, enjoy” they’ll get the message. If not, use your words and say you don’t want to. I’ve done it and it was smooth sailing. But you keep replying and actually fuck???????? But still complain?????? 

In conclusion, I feel like we all play a part in how this community is right now. It’s not just one bitch, it’s not just a group of people. It’s not the sensitivity. It’s everyone. It was me at one point trail blazing through the tags. I owned up to it. But I really just chill and rock with something until it dies. There’s a person that hates this blog, I know they hate this blog because we butted heads and turns out they’re my favorite person I’ve ever got the chance to plot and connect with. And I wanted to tell them I was the blog but it just goes to show shit can run smoothly even when people have different opinions. I don’t agree with alot of shit but ranting, anons and all of that won’t do anything. It’ll just leave a bad taste in the tag. 

SO. With that being said, I open the floor to any disagreements. Agreements? Wanna discuss something you didn’t like? Let’s have a conversation rather than yell at eachother. It just makes everyone mad. 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Hi!! So this is an honest question so i hope it doesnt come off as rude or anything- but doesn't the thought that everything you post here can be reblogged make you more reserved or anything? Idk how to explain it but whenever i wanna post something here i think about doing it for a super long time to be sure i want it to possibly be on the internet forever- but i see you're comfortable with sharing pretty personal stuff so i was just wondering if it affected you any way or maybe it was just me?

lmaooo it’s cool!!! there’s an unending AMA going on here and off the top of my head i can’t think of anything off-limits to ask about

it’s definitely not just you!! out of the ppl i know off the top of my head i’m probably really far and away doing the Most airing my bullshit. if you ultimately don’t like the idea of stuff just kinda sitting around to be seen by Anyone, that’s valid and there’s no problem with feeling like that makes you wanna Not Post some stuff

like this is especially true for young teens on the soche media…hell i just entirely threw out the blog i’d had from like 14 -18, and not because i was particularly embarrassed or anything, it just felt mostly obsolete. you can become someone so different in even one year and that’s fine and you might not want Old Venting and the like just sitting around out there. it’s definitely okay to be real private about that kinda stuff

i know sometimes ppl having sorta Compromises where maybe they’ll create a second blog / account specifically for talking abt personal stuff, and then only maybe allow friends (or nobody) to access it; or people will just tag everything with Delete Later and then go back and delete it later so it’s not out there forever, or just because they find it embarrassing soon afterwards lol

for my part, there’s definitely multiple reasons i pretty much don’t care

1. i never used to Vent post back in the early days. but one of my earliest examples maybe was this sudden essay i dumped on my blog when i was 16? 17? abt how unhappy i was at home. it took me till i was 18 to really start to realize that what i’d always lived with was literally abuse, and it was things like The Sudden Venting Essay that really helped me put it all into words and be able to organize my thoughts enough to write about it and realize that there was a lottttt of shit i was rly miserable about2. ever since then really i’ve found that when i write about something, whether messaging it to someone or just posting it in general, a ton of times it helps me kinda make connections or figure something out or just feel like i have a better grasp on an idea.3. even after i started maybe doing the occasional venting post, for a long time i was really hesitant about it, but this was mostly b/c i felt like i didn’t have ~real~ enough problems and/or nobody would really care. as for the former, well yesterday i was saying how i still have this underlying feeling that i’m an imposter / don’t count / not REALLY as ___ as other people or whatever, so i’m still working on that, but it definitely doesn’t upset me as much as it might back in the day. re: the latter—tbh i dont care if nobody cares. i write abt personal shit b/c i care. my entire blog is About and Because i care, and if other people care, great, if they don’t, ok.4. a lot of this is about having compassion for myself. i don’t look down on other people for making personal posts, so i don’t look down on myself, either. 5. more self-compassion: there’s probably olden text posts from the early days of this blog that don’t even sound like me coz my Outer Demeanor has changed a lot these past 5 or 2 or 1 yrs. but even if i stumbled across some Old Post of mine and was like “lmfao whats up w THIS loser” it’s like….well, i’m sympathetic to my Earlier Selves. this applies to like, me never deleting Late Night Sad Posts or whatever (even tho nowadays they’re never exactly like i’m upset, maybe just Melancholy or in a mood to talk abt something saddish) coz i’m like, well, even though rn i don’t feel like i Need this post, back then i did feel like venting to feel better! and that’s fine. i don’t find that embarrassing. it’s like if you’re thirsty on one day and you drink some water and at some random point during the next evening when you’re not thirsty you think back on that time you were drinking water and you’re like “wow, embarrassing.” well clearly its not a perfect analogy but the point is sometimes you might feel you need to talk, and sometimes you don’t, and both times are ok. its not an embarrassment to have been upset6. this blog is the most personal thing in the world for me lmao its my Main social media presence, goes back five yrs, and for like. well the whole five years its been what keeps me from being way more isolated than i am. irl friends have been long distance this whole time (save a couple exceptions) and mostly my way to talk to ppl has been on here. this was especially important when i was at my parents house for a couple yrs. it was fairly awful and being able to be in touch w ppl and being able to SAY it was awful was clearly important, and i became more inclined to write abt shit rather than hold myself back b/c my being able to say anything was important7. i still talk about things b/c being able to say anything here to people in the outside world is important8. i can’t be like “i cant talk abt this b/c its not important/interesting enough” coz if i did i wouldn’t talk abt anything. i just write b/c i have things to say, and this is my pointless blog9. i don’t expect i’ll ever become Well Known in any circles. for me the more likely concern is kinda disappearing either due to dying or incarceration or some other shit scenario. the times i talk on here are good b/c that hasnt happened yet and i have the option10. even if i did become well known, i don’t really care.11. also for uh…all the times i was living in my parents house thru my life i was really really isolated. for eons i was used to nobody knowing shit abt me and keeping p much all my thoughts to myself. nowadays this blog is what lets me be able to sorta Known and Seen and able to get in touch w ppl if we wanna. basically, there’s nothing TOO personal. i’m not even trying to push myself to “overshare” coz like i said, p much nothing is offlimits. i’ve just had a lifetimes worth of being very invisible and unknown to anyone12. actually i can still be very cagey abt myself in person. learning to be more open On Here is a bit helpful for that. 13. idk that anyone else would give a shit about old vent posts from me either. when i talk abt me im talking abt *me*, its really not even vaguely interesting when removed even one degree from that specific context. 14. maybe there’s the chance some shit will happen to be Relatable to other ppl and somehow helpful to them15. for example, a lot of how i realized i was actually experiencing abuse for real was thru anecdotal / qualitative posts abt it. sometimes there’s shit you think is Just You only b/c nobody else who it applies to is talking about it yknow16. maybe making it seem less a big deal to talk abt your bullshit if i unapologetically talk abt my bullshit17. i remember my younger self feeling like i didnt ~deserve~ to talk abt my own thoughts & feelings the way other ppl did coz mine weren’t as good, so i kinda do it for them / in celebration of no longer feeling that way18. i actually like to talk. i just usually can’t. irl i very very very very rarely talk at length about myself, i don’t talk much at all. for me this is where i get to talk19. hmm i may have skipped or forgotten something obvious but hey. for now, there’s this. no-limits milo they call me

[illnesssecretsanta]

for the ever-lovely @taylor-tut aaaaaaaaa i was so happy to be your secret santa omg i love your blog!! and im really interested in these characters now. I hope that i did them any justice at all, because i didn't have a whole lot about them and their interactions to go on?? and also its not all that long so im sorry but i still hope its alright? so i hope that they are as wonderful as im sure you write them. enjoy lovely!!!!

Kari didn’t get sick often. And when she did, it was usually just an easy, minor cold or something. But this? This was some bullshit. Bull. Shit.

She’d woken up yesterday feeling a little yucky. No, no, that was too serious. A little… under the weather. But even that was a stretch. A little off. Just a bit. She had had a headache and was parched when she’d woken up after one, two, three and a half hours of sleep for about the sixth night in a row. She’d been busy, okay? The grind never stops, you know. And, of course, she knew it wasn’t good for her. But she had stuff to do! So she’d gotten a glass of water for her parched throat and closed her eyes for a moment before going on with her day. The headache persisted, but so did she.

Then, she’d woken up the next morning -this morning- and BLAM, more than a bit off. She’d thrown her blankets off in the middle of the night apparently; she vaguely remembered that it had been scorching hot. But now she was shivering like crazy. Despite how hot she’d been last night, she was freezing now.

She sat up in bed and felt her shirt cling to her back. Her thick, dark hair was clumped against the back of her neck. She ran her hands through it and could feel how drenched in sweat it was. All of her was. She groaned and reluctantly -hoping against hope that she wouldn’t be disappointed- touched the back of her shaky hand to her forehead. It was hot. Too hot. She was disappointed.

She groaned again and swung her legs out of bed. With as useless as she normally was, she couldn’t afford to lay in bed all day, out of commission. She had things to do. For one thing, she had to go out but some food (it was her day to buy the week’s supply) and meet then Ruby back at the small cottage in which they were staying to talk about where they were going next. They’d been travellling for a while. A glance at her pocketwatch told her it was 7:12. She had to get moving.

But standing up was a bad choice. Big mistake. The world spun around her at the same time a searing pain shot through her skull. She cried out in pain and yanked her hands to grasp her head. The sharp movement knocked her off balance and she sunk to the floor, slamming her knees against the carpet.

She took a deep breath in, shaky and unsure. She sat there for what felt like five minutes, just clutching her head in agony. But after some time, the pain subsided. She blinked heavily and raised her head back up. She had to stand up. She couldn’t just lay here all day; she had things to do. So, grabbing the post of her the bedframe, she hoisted herself back up onto her knees. She couldn’t really see clearly because the whole room was spinning and blurry, but she knew where the door was, and she could make out shapes and colors just fine. Ignoring the pain in her head, she stood up all the way.

Now that she was standing, she was sure that she was ready. She’d fallen asleep in her pirate jacket, so she was already dressed. Her hair was a mess around her shoulders, but she figured it was no big deal. So she took a step and headed towards the door. If she’d thought she was having trouble before, she was in for a most unpleasant surprise with that first step. Her legs might as well have had a mind of their own, because they did not obey. No, in fact, instead of planting onto the floor to walk, they buckled and then loosened and she crumpled to the floor again.

Tears were already prickling the back of her eyes. Yeah, there was no way she’d be able to make it out of her room, down the stairs, through the woods, and into town in order to buy food at the market, and then make it back, and certainly not in time to meet with Ruby at 8;30 like they’d discussed. She took shallow breaths, focusing on what she should do. It was her turn to buy the food. And Ruby had told her two days ago that they needed a private conversation to talk about their rnext move. Saving the universe requires planning, you know. But how could they save anything if she was like this on the floor? They couldn’t. That’s why she had to get up. She had to get up and find Ruby. She had to-… Fuck, she couldn’t even think, her head hurt so badly. She thought she felt a tear slide out through her squeezed-shut eye, but she couldn’t really tell. Basically, every feeling she could feel was blocked out by how terrible she felt right now, by how badly her head hurt, by how clammy and suffocated she felt laying in a ball on the floor. She just knew she had to go out and find Ruby. She had to find Ruby. That’s all she could think about.

“Ruby,” she slurred, but nobody was even there to hear it, of course. She repeated this sad slur with a sore throat and tears quietly sliding down her flushed cheeks for as long as she could. She couldn’t tell how long it was. She just knew it hurt her throat. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear someone calling her name.

“Kari,” they said, a hundred miles away. “Kari, oh my god, Kari?”

“Ruby?” she said weakly again.

“Kari! Can you hear me?”

She only croaked out, “Ruby?” And then she heard nothing and felt nothing.

Kari woke up many long hours later in a room that was not hers. There was something on her head, something heavy and cold and wet. She began to reach up for it but-

“Don’t move.”

Kari groaned and pried her eyes open. The blinds were drawn, but the amount of light in the room still sent a pulse of pain through her head. Slowly looking around the room, she saw Ruby in a wooden chair by the side of her bed.

“Ruby?”

Her arms were crossed and her eyes were steely. Her jaw was clenched tight.

“So, when were you planning on telling me that you were sick?” Ruby asked. Her voice was cold.

“Ruby?” Kari asked again. It was about the only thing she could think of right now.

Ruby pressed her lips together, the frustration obvious. “Yes, it’s me.”

“The food,” Kari said, the memory coming back to her. It was half a question, and half an apology.

“I had Leora get it.”

“Ruby, I’m-”

“Don’t,” hissed Ruby. “How long have you been sick?”

“Sick?” Kari croaked.

“Sick,” Ruby repeated slowly. “Your temperature was 104.7 when I found you. So, how long?”

“I… don’t know,” Kari admitted. “I, uh, felt kinda weird yesterday.” She looked around, now noticing it was dark in the room. A candle was lit in the corner, but that was about the only light in the room. “Wait, what day is it?”

“Oh, you’ve been asleep for about 20 hours, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Yes,” Kari said slowly. 20 hours? How was that even possible? “I haven’t really been getting much sleep recently.”

Ruby frowned. “Apparently not.”

Kari seemed to miss any frsutration in Ruby’s voice at all. “So, wait, what happened?”

Ruby raised her eyebrows. “You don’t remember?”

“Not a whole lot. It’s fuzzy.”

“Uh huh,” Ruby said. “Well, I found you on the floor of your room after you didn’t show up to mine by 9. I asked the innkeeper if she’d seen you leave, but she said she hadn’t seen anyone leave since last night. I asked Leora if she’d talked to you since the night before, but she said no. So I went to your room to check if mabye you were still alseep.”

Kari gulped. “I was-”

“On the floor, crying and whimpering and not even half conscious.” She uncrossed her arms and sat forward, grabbing the thing on Kari’s forehead. Kari could now tell that it was a washcloth. Ruby flipped it over and replaced it on Kari’s head, a new wave of cool water easing a slight pain Kari hadn’t noticed was there. “I was calling your name for a good three minutes before you even said anything. You just… wouldn’t wake up. You weren’t bleeding or anything, you were just… laying. You finally answered. You said my name. But I could barely even hear it. Then I touched you and flipped you over, and you were cooking in that thing.” She nodded towards the foot of the bed, where Kari’s pirate coat was now laying.

“Oh,” Kari said. She hadn’t even realized she wasn’t wearing it.

“And once you said my name that once, you were out for real. Deadweight. So I brought you over here, took your temperature, and then tried to do what I could. I’ve been replacing your washcloth pretty often, but I couldn’t do much for the fever snice you were still asleep.”

“I was calling your name for a while, I think,” Kari said.

“You were?”

Kari blinked.

“For how long?”

“I don’t know. Since I was on the floor.”

“Oh,” is all that Ruby said. She didn’t know that Kari had been there for so long.

There was a long pause. Kari was almost entirely asleep again before Ruby spoke.

“Okay. I’m gonna go bring you some food. I have some tea for you, but I don’t want you to sit up just yet, so just stay there. I’ll be right back.”

Kari nodded slowly, sleepily. She watched Ruby leave the room and close the door behind her. Then she watyched the flame of the candle dance until her eyelids slipped shut again.

[amilliontinywraiths]

to the walnut people’s garden.

Blog,

Im starting my post in the way my friend Joshua does, as a letter to a digital realm of writing / reading / whatever u want to say about the cybernetic makeup on the tumblrverse. Mostly, I didn’t know how to start. Insert the meme format, every day I open Microsoft word and write absolutely nothing. Its paralyzing – to have some aspect of my identity wrapped up in “writing,” to be a “writer,” but to really exist as such in bursts. Every few months I’ll write something and lay it to rest in my hard drive, go back to living as a sentient being trying to scrape by eleven dollars an hour.

Its getting colder – the wind knocked over some plants outside, I opened the window and immediately closed it. Im worried about the lettuce dying from the frost. Im doing some reflection because there’s nothing else to do. Im googling depression lamps and silly tips to quit smoking and “psychiatric evaluations for cheap.”

My sister is in town and was asking me about my move, the semi-chaotic summer I lived when plans A and B fell through and my ass tumbled back to my hometown. Its depressing if I read too far into it, coming back to a place I swore I never would, being proof that “you always come back home” (because home is a vapid suburb). She had come to the garden last night, to see the space that picked me up and saved the move, to meet the people that have made this city feel like something new and worth appreciating, and not an exemplar of postgraduate failures. I think the garden might be the only thing that kept me in my hometown, feeling ashamed that I hadnt made it anywhere but here.

Let me explain myself. Im a little sick of the ‘2020 was a bad year [insert sad face]’ discourse, but it was a fucking bad year. So was 2019 and every year dating back to industrialization and colonial exploration, but im getting sidetracked. The year started with a silly (actually devastating and heartbreaking) breakup and months of depression. Of going to aa and spilling my sorrows to a group of gay 50-somethings who hugged me like I wasn’t a lost case. Of later fearing my loved ones, as if they were virus-carrying rascals, or worse, that I was and would infect and kill them all. Of having my visa cancelled but still needing to leave Chicago – fueling myself with the potentially false and certainly romantic idea that running away from ur friends and problems will fix it all. Im lamenting.

What im saying is im as surprised as you are at the success of kc. At the community and love ive found here, all cooked up in the garden squat. The day I met syd and cass and felt really shocked at the ease of meeting the anarchist poets, as if they were just waiting for me. when syd invited me to the garden one night and it all made sense – to take back the land and grow sunflowers. I wont go too far into my gaden-becoming (lol). As it will potentially be ripped away from us by landlord bastards in this next month, I need to solidify some reflections. To poorly paraphrase Audre lorde, you gotta write it down so you don’t forget how you felt. How you thought. Maybe in five years the garden will be flourishing. Or we will be sitting at the track tagging ‘fuck fascism’ as we approach our thirties. Or both.

The endless garden bonfires. Indistinguishable from the next. All the bonfires and cookouts melding into each other. The 200 Hams that showed up one night, maybe 180? The joy of collective drunkenness, peeing behind the shed, grabbing another beer on your way back. We began having movie nights. Thank god cadence brought all of the anime, secretly hoping nobody could possibly want to watch Edward Scissorhands. geeking with syd about poets. Spreading mulch at our first work day, gossiping about sean bonney and wendy Trevino with amalia, the excitement that someone else gave a shit about obscure poets. Later making a book club for just that. picking up two trunkloads of bricks from a gentrifying couple in the northeast, how they wanted to rid their property of the old chimney and practically begged me to take more. Making a path later with neve, I think, and being nervous about becoming friends with everyone. Having met so many people in such a short time. Planning to camp at the garden together, and instead, going to an impromptu occupation. The absolute failure of it all, when the occupiers began to police each other. ‘A world without police’ my ass. The walnut people’s garden tent we squeezed into. Playing ‘never have I ever’ with other twenty-somethings, realizing that the game is only spicy when nefarious activities are taboo��and they’re not taboo to us. Almost winning several games of chess in several different tents, though I think I always lost. That time when Syd’s birthday, when their literal hoard of friends came and went and I watched them from one of the garden beds. That art students look like art students everywhere I’ve been. I think I was talking to cass, about something, poetry maybe, at the garden bed. we were avoiding the group dynamic, that specific stomach feeling that arises when you don’t know anybody. The outdoor space fostering some normalcy, people being able to come and go and celebrate years around the sun. afterwards we went to jail support, a reminder that nothing is normal. “the new normal.” I had just dug up my own garden bed, which if I made decisions financially, was a huge money drain. But it taught me how to grow lettuces and how not to grow cauliflowers. I kept a journal with garden notes, which vegetables liked each other. I left it at the garden one night and it was rained on, completely disintegrated. A sweet first kiss on the garden bench, later, the garden bench showing up in a flash sheet that we’ll all choose tattoos from. the subsequent meme. the continual talk of memes fueled by @dante. A massive group tattoo session. The slew of items always left at the garden after a night of drinking. My debit card, my jacket, somehow always sydney’s backpack. Cullen always finding the objects since he was up earlier than us all. Later, dante’s birthday when I walked from the garden to sade’s apartment, which had a living room—quite literally—filled with only couches. Feeling warm and included, invited to something. Discovering sade is best friends with sue, who lives with Vivian. Facetiming Vivian from the garden, facetiming Vivian from the backyard. Feeling so lonely for so long, and then, suddenly pulled into this weird collective embrace. Pulling up to the the garden and freddy howling. Laying with freddy on the couch. The celebration of life erin and Cullen threw for freddy, when miranda made him this foul-looking peanut butter cake and someone took a bite of it. stealing a thousand cigarettes from bobby or kim or anyone who pulled out a pack near me. meeting syd dante and sade at the garden to break into an apartment complex’s pool. But residents were having a pool party with a vague america theme and we felt out-of-place. When we were driving home from the pool and dante spotted a note on the garden sign, our formal eviction notice. How hard it is to meet common ground with landowners, as a group of ppl who don’t believe in that shit. My dad telling me to just ‘buy the land.’ Are you interested in paying rent? The neighborhood association meeting, the landlords pushing for increased value moving into the neighborhood. Us leaving when the meeting proved too boring, typical leftists unable to sit through bureaucratic garbage. Send someone in our place. The giant saw that looked like an oil rig. How I was disappointed in my own passivity in the situation, letting them reverse screwdrive our land! How sometimes you make concessions for the big picture, but then you feel like a fraud in the moment. How maybe that is just an excuse. Cullen eating a grasshopper, suddenly everyone eating grasshoppers. A grasshopper loose in quicktrip, we considered asking to take it home with us. When we painted the sign and we didn’t like the proposed name, so we made up another one, which was admittedly not very anarchist of us. No collective decision making. The sign was later repainted after a meeting and it looked so much better. The meeting showing that we could fight and come to collective decisions and maybe we’d make it through the eviction. The eviction coming in two weeks, the plans for occupation. A slumber party with demands. A giant slingshot to launch discarded objects at construction trucks. A trebuchet. Maybe we’ll make it through the eviction.

To the walnut people’s garden. 

[minblush]

These goals the boys (bighit) are begging for are promoting such a toxic atmosphere in this fandom. Almost cult-like. But you are a breathe of fresh air bc even some big blogs i liked for being "real" are now into this sheep mentality, this is scary.

Anonymous said:+ kinda funny Pied Piper exist when they are demanding so much lol

i agree that it doesn’t help with the atmosphere in the fandom, it’s gotten so much worse correlating with how much the boys asked of us and how much more the company focused on promoting them based on the records and numbers :( and i also think it’s pretty ironic coming up with that song now with how much they and the company had been asking and doing to get money out of us… i’m also bitter with bighit’s treatment of foreign fans because of what happened today, but anyways.. wish they gave us better things to focus on, at some point we are going to reach the limit and their goals will never be met and the fandom will always remain feeling guilty about it, so i wish the boys had more vague or personal goals instead of giving us specific numbers

anonymous  asked:

personally i think most of the fandom shows so much blind faith to the boys, to the point that it’s very unhealthy. of course, there’s nothing wrong with people wanting to show support for their faves, but some people show unwavering dedication to whatever they want. it’s kind of annoying and they think it makes them look like better fans when in reality they just show they’re in capable of anything realistic

i think it’s like that with most fandoms that are built around real people, because it’s so time consuming and there are a lot of things you have to deal with, but it reached pretty critical levels in our fandom, any time anyone says something negative it’s just HYSTERICS about how fake of a fan you are, or that you’re too dramatic for even thinking outside of anything the company/group wants you to… but yeah i agree with you, always gotta look at things with some level of realism

Anonymous said:ok in the beginning i didn’t really agree with you but now i do. i totally see ur point. ofc they have goals and they should have, but when what they achieve is because of us it can kinda feel like we’re stepping stones??? if u know w i mean. it’s great with ambitions but when you achieve something pls revel in it a bit more before being like “ok BUT now we want more thanks”. or have goals such as development as musicians and vocalists or smth that isn’t based on numbers… i sound bitter lol

yeah that’s how i feel too, and i think they shouldn’t make us feel that way as fans, they used to have many goals like that, about self-development, making good music, connecting more, expressing themselves better, but this time around it’s all charting and records and yeah, and what more it’s even specific numbers, and that’s just blergh.. you know the fandom will be disappointed with itself if we don’t get them to hot 50 next time

Anonymous said:I miss the time where the only things I understood about kpop were that the groups were large and that the members could sing and dance. I’ve never given a fuck about 1st places in music shows and daesangs tbh I still don’t get how all of this works properly. But i started making a big deal of it since the boys first win and at the time it was meaningful but like right now? I don’t even check if they won or not because I know they did. (1)

Anonymous said:It doesn’t feel the same because these wins and prices and stuff just don’t feel as rewarding as before idk how to explain it. I kind of have a feeling that all of this happens just because of the popularity so it’s just meeeh to me (I mean I’m always delighted and super happy whenever they got something, it just doesn’t feel the same anymore, kind of a routine, I got used to it too son I guess) anyway, about the streaming drama that is happening. (2)

Anonymous said: I’m sure that if I ever dare speak these words into life under an URL I’d be destroyed but, I didn’t change my location when streaming the album and I didn’t let my laptop run overnight to stream the MV. I mostly stream because I want to hear the songs and because I want the boys to get some money out of it. It’s great that they achieved the hot100 and it would be great if they make it into the top50, top20… Of course. (3)

Anonymous said:Call me dramatic but the achievement doesn’t feel that genuine to me, because they made it through people streaming while working, sleeping, eating, doing everything but listening to the songs iywim so it’s just because the fandom worked extra hard not because the song made it into the mainstream ears?  Idk nothing feels right lately and the boys have their mind flying over the moon and I hope they will get a break soon so they can reflect and think (4)

Anonymous said:about everything and put their wants and goals straight again. Because they give me the impression that they won’t stop because everything is going so fast and nothing feels impossible to them rn they really need a break. I have a lot to say but I feel that this ask is messy enough as it is. Thank you if you read all of this (5)

Yeah it’s true and only natural that the more awards / wins there are, the less it means to everyone, both us and the boys. I don’t think we’ll get a moment like their first daesang again tbh, i’m really grateful i experienced that moment live.

and you’re right that people are really awful with the streaming, i saw so much guilting everywhere.. like sorry, i work full time,i can’t leave the mv playing 24/7, i do what i can as a fan, everyone tries to help within their means.

it’s just that now it feels like even those sacrifices we make aren’t enough, because in the end we will always be asked and expected to do even more.

and i agree with you, honestly this album felt from scratch like it was made to get them a lot of success, but it lost a lot of what people like them for in the process (the boys’ input, their sincerety about the result), i was hoping that once they would achieve that HUGE goal that they talked about for years, that they and us would breathe out and feel like, yeah we got there, now we can do what matters. but i guess there is still more and more, they just want more sigh, i just hope that once it all starts going down (which it has to eventually) that it won’t be too harsh on them, i know they worry about it a lot

Anonymous said:1. I agree w everything youre saying rn. Before the live stages i honestly only liked mic drop and now gogo is up there too - all because of the vibe their stages give off. If not for that id continue feeling detached from it all, from them. This is my first proper comeback aswell ( other than the ynwa repackage ) and its honestly not what i expected. Esp w wings and now the theme of love yourself, i really expected more… sincerity? Idk if thats the right word. But that could be explained byAnonymous said:2. The fact that the boys didnt have as much of an imput in the album as their previous ones. Which i get w the company wanting to make the most of how big they are and wanted to make sure the album was great but. Idk, i feel like they couldve trusted the boys more since it was them that got themselves here in the first place ( not that bighit was just sitting back chilling but i hope you know what I mean ). And although I was starting to fall back into the hype of the comeback

Anonymous said:3. The recent vlive kind of put me off.. theyre all exhausted, thats so clear. Tae barley said anything and they all just need a rest tbh. And this may just be me being petty and sour, but when Namjoon started saying how they should talk about how they felt after their billboard win nobody really responded? And even Namjoon cut himself off and food became the main topic. Which is good, im glad theyre eating, but i hope you see what i mean? Man idk. Sorry for the length of these

yeah it was like that for me too, but seeing them up there reminded me of why they are the best for me ;-; i also wish for that, cause tbh the songs where boys could say something more were the the best ones on the album and made me FEEL things, while other songs, even if they were fun, they were just empty to me, like empty radio bops, sadly. i’m sorry the vlive put you off, i thought it was cute, though they were tired. i didn’t pay much attention to tae not talking, because he is often like that during broadcasts tbh, he isn’t as talkative as the others during group settings, and secondly he is a rEALLY moody kid, so since they are all tired (they did this between fansigns as well) ofc he would be sitting there with his arms crossed, that’s just how he is. however i agree that the billboard part was weird, the broadcast was to celebrate it but when namjoon tried talking about it they changed the subject after a minute when nobody was enthusiastic at all.. it just makes you feel like, you work so hard to get them these awards to make them happy, right? but if they’re not even really all that into it, then it’s all about the sales and the media play and the cred, so what are we doing it for? but that is me being bitter i guess ;-;

Anonymous said:my first comeback too and i’m a bit disappointed with the (i forgot the word) “theme” of the album compared to hyyh and wings (started when i saw the highlight reels… they’re beautiful but shallow lol). dgmw i love the songs they’re bops but something’s missing and i kinda hoped for “deeper” goals and messages. my other fave bands have goals such as individual and musical growth, learning new things, feeling better about their music and lyrics etc. i love them this won’t change that but still

the word is concept, and yeah me too. i agree with everything you say. i want to hear something more sincere next time, both music wise and their goals wise. like did y’all read the statement bighit had namjoon say after they got onto the hot 100?

“Our dreams are coming true this week with a number one entrance to 73 countries on iTunes, and we are excited to share it with ARMY. We are very thankful for Billboard’s support from the beginning, and excited that Love Yourself: Her is charting at No. 7 on the Hot 200 and No. 85 on the HOT 100 for "DNA” on the Billboard charts.”

this is the most robotic and number focused speech ever and it just makes me feel really -_- just be real with us dakjsd please

Anonymous said:honestly thank you so much for staying real and not being all up their asses.. like you can love a group and still be logical about things and staying true to yourself. it’s refreshing

ha thank you, i wish this wasn’t something i had to be thanked for though… i’m just hyper focused on making sure all my opinions are my own, otherwise i’d lose track of myself as a person

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020: BRIT AWARDS SPECIAL

So, welcome to... a Tuesday? Yeah, it’s not exactly a usual time for me to post on this blog but it’s not just your everyday episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS – That’s right, it’s the 40th ceremony in the annual BRIT Awards celebration, where we – or at least ITV – commemorate the greatest in British pop music. I’ll be celebrating in full force this year, but not by tweeting manically like I did last year – well, there will still be some tweeting; follow me @cactusinthebank – but instead by writing my live commentary right here. I did this a couple years back so I figured I’d bring it back again in traditional, over-analytical, unnecessarily nitpicky fashion. I’ve got an Excel document like I had last year to make not of who wins and compare it to who I think should win. I’m all prepared – it’s time for the 2020 BRIT Awards... unfortunately hosted by Jack Whitehall.

COMMENTARY

Interestingly (This is 10 minutes before the show begins), the International Group Award, Best British Video, Outstanding Contribution to Music and Global Success Awards have been abolished, and British Breakthrough Act, Critics’ Choice Award and British Single of the Year have all been renamed. Also, the BRITs caught flack for less female artists being nominated although last year there was a record amount nominated so I feel like sexism claims can’t really ring all that true in my opinion. It does often seem like male artists have dominated that year of pop music, just as it feel female artists have the previous year, and the BRITs have noticed that, so it just feels a tad lop-sided towards the males this year. I’m playing Devil’s advocate, sure, and I wouldn’t say 2019 has been a bad year for British women in music, but I am able to somewhat defend this decision. I feel like I’d just say that as a little pre-amble. In fact, I’ll add this: this will be less formal and grammatically correct than a normal RTC episode, and perhaps a bit less wholesome or family-friendly. Also, if none of this makes any sense, that’s because it’s out of context completely, and this will make absolutely no sense unless you’re watching it with me or had watched it prior to reading this, but that’s the joy in this! Scorecard at the ready, 19:58, it’s the BRITs in two minutes, and I am prepared to make fun of every issue I pick out.

Jack Whitehall is so unfunny lol Like Haha She Is Cleaning Lizzo Flute But He Look Like Masturbate Ha Ha

I feel like they did not know what they should do for this year

The intro with him trying out iconic BRIT Awards outfits is kinda cool actually

I wonder how far into the future they plan for these. Like are these skits pre-recorded by three months or so

Mabel didn’t really hit that note huh

I won’t really be paying attention to this one because I’m filling out scorecard and all to update it for this year but Mabel is less energetic than she was on the Graham Norton Show months ago

Can’t tell if Don’t Call Me Up has soured on me a lot or this is just a bad performance. Probably the latter

Is this the vocal loop from Mad Love or something I don’t recognise it

Nevermind I’m so dumb it’s from Don’t Call Me Up

The telephone on the screen Because Ha Ha She Says Call Me Up is a bit on the nose

I don’t think they realise she also has a song called Ring Ring

“Please welcome your host Jack Whitehall” No go away

Audience did not like the Boris Johnson joke or even the Chris Martin one lol this gnarly dude is BOMBING

Rod Stewart has eight children what the f

“Horny scarecrow of rock and roll Ronnie Wood” I hope that is on his CV

“A bit of witty banter from Dave” Jack Whitehall Shouted Out The TV Channel Dave

Lewis Capaldi – Someone You Loved genuinely makes me want to eat a living frog this live version is better though he’s not straining that much

I saw a BBC News piece on a boy with cancer and this was used in the background and I understand it’s a sad, sappy piano ballad but it’s literally just about a break up like that’s a tad unfitting and kinda undermines the illness and tragedy surely

Niall Horan looks SO infused

The production value for these little transitions seems to have improved it actually looks cool and not dated garbage

Lewis Capaldi will win Best New Artist

Lewis Capaldi won Best New Artist

It’s his first BRIT Award but what’s the point in celebrating he’s gonna win like seven more

Dude is coming up to the stage with a bottle of beer in his hand bruh

I bet this dude is going to be the Adele and just get drunk and swear every time he gets an award

He hugged Niall Horan for a concerning amount of time

The audience chanted ‘DOWN IT DOWN IT’ he did not down it

He just shouted profanities into the mic after 40 seconds of delaying it, but the audio was muted so I have no idea why Jack Whitehall Loves This Man

Lewis Capaldi’s music and personality clash so hard like I saw an advert of this man making funny faces set to Someone You Loved and it was so odd

That advert played right after the BRITs by the way lol

Why is Lewis Capaldi on another advert singing Someone You Loved again like stop stop stop pelase i ccant getsv awytsuavforrnjeofityre

JHE’S BACK FOR ANOTHER ADVERT GO AWAY YOU DRUNKEN IDIOT

Why would Mastercard proudly sponsor this sh

How the hell is FKA twigs nominated for best female artist like cool and all her album was good but Huh

I guess they put one alternate win each time

Mabel will win Best Female Solo Artist

Mabel won Best Female Solo Artist

Oh yeah I forgot people actually make speeches

“There are so many amazing women in this category” Mabel Listens To FKA Twigs

Don’t thank your record label they are crooks

I forget that Mabel is Neneh Cherry’s daughter that’s wild. Neneh Cherry won a BRIT too, I think this same award. Cool. Neat.

Jack Whitehall’s sarcasm and dryer wit is not exactly the best fit for the BRITs. For once I miss Ant & Dec

Harry Styles Is Literally Wearing Pajamas

This is an ok song and with actually good vocal mixing it’s better but he does sound a bit off. He did get robbed before the awards happened though lol

I am sick of guys singing ballads with a e s t h e t i c backgrounds like can we get some volcano eruptions up in this

The Rising Star and British Producer Awards (new awards) were already given out I feel like cheating

Literally the only nomination for the British Producer of the Year was fred

He won

Another break bruh bruh bruh give me a break

Harry Styles’ Pajamas Are Wet Now He Was Standing In Water

Little simz is on an advert afterwards with an amazing song from her amazing album but she’s not nominated for any award

Im so tired like this shit is keeping me awake last year i fell asleep during a jess glynne performance

Liam payne performed a month before the ceremony and his album fell 31 places on the chart in response

Jack Whitehall called himself a lanky streak of piss this man might get an Ofcom Complaint

Lizzo’s really pushing that title track huh

Lizzo didn’t censor herself on the Grammys but her breathy ‘uh’s are making some lines unintelligible lol

This is a good song though

LOL SHE STOPPED FOR THE AUDIENCE TO CONTINUE HER SENTENCE BUT NOBODY SAID THE LINE YIKES

I guess she forgot Truth Hurts didn’t even peak in the top 20 here

Good as Hell is the one people here care about

She knows that they didn’t respond in Truth Hurts because she said ‘sing along if you know it’ lol

She kinda messed up but to be fair she is walking and singing with the audience

That White Guy With The Crap Hair Killed It

Drummer is going wild

I love the extra guitar flourishes in Juice this is pretty cool actually, her interpolating Cause I Love You at the same time is pretty epic this actually sounds pretty great I’d love for this whole medley to be on streaming

She yelled ‘biiitch’ but the mic did not catch that

Ronnie Wood Really Got The Positive Vibes

Lewis Capaldi will win Best Male Solo Artist

(Michael Kiwanuka got like no applause god damn at least give them pity applause)

ROIGHT and tha winna ***upside down*** is STRORMZY

Stormzy won Best Male Solo Artist

(Second time by the way)

Clean version of Vossi Bop kinda slap Ngl

Stormzy TOWERS over Ronnie Wood lol dude is tall

“Um.”

“Best Male is nothing without incredible females” Cool cool

Ronnie is about to tell Stormzy why he thinks he should go back to his own country and that He’s Not Actually Racist

(Those allegations are baseless. My lawyers advised me to say so.)

Jack Whitehall touched audience feet

We’re already nearly an hour in wow

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ADVERT BREAKS

Yes Yes

Hell yeah dave is awesome, he got his Top Boy co-star to work as a hype man before him

I think this is Black? If so that’s amazing I love that song

It’s Black he has it written on his white piano

The only white piano is slowly turning more black

I like the headlines and all the imagery on the piano it’s really cool

Dave is a tad off beat but he’s also playing a double-sided piano so understandable

A white dude is playing the other side of the piano I’m sure that’s symbolic

He is aggressive in this delivery damn he’s killing it

Some of this imagery is beautiful – especially the BRIT Award being covered by black snakes and the Arabic writing transitioning into an Africa with colonial borders

This was an amazing performance, especially with the violins. Incredible.

OH THERE’S ANOTHER VERSE ABOUT BORIS JOHNSON

The least racist is still racist damn right

This works as an obituary as well damn.

I’d have to analyse this whole thing but this was an incredible performance oh my god

I want this on streaming

When did this man help a terrorist plot wh

Paloma Faith Sounds Like A Robot Who Is Vaguely Feminist

Burna Boy will win International Male Solo Artist

(I so want Tyler to go home with it though. Could go to Post as well)

It’s just whoever shows up gets it though so

WHOA

WHAT THE HELL

TYLER THE CREATOR WON HOW

TAHT IS AMSGWYUFE

THE RADIO HOST SAID IGOR WRONG BUT ITS OK TYLER WON

Tyler, The Creator won International Male Solo Artist

This gnarly dude just said ‘errr yeah errr’

“Shout out to all the British funk from the 80s I try to copy”

LOL THE THERESA MAY CALL OUT HAHAH

I FORGOT HE WASNT ALLOWED IN THE UK

Bts is not a british group, presenter

Coldplay will win Best British Group

Foals won Best British Group

I am actually so surprised lol at Tyler and Foals winning their first BRITs

More alternative dudes winning I guess. Neat. Means a lot

Stop thanking your corrupt labels

The name’s eyelash

I haven’t actually heard her Bond theme yet

Finneas do be lookin kinda handsome tho

I like it. The whispery tone of her voice, the eerie strings (cello?), and slick guitar really fit the Bond franchise. Thank you Billie Eilish, very cool!

No Don’t Talk To Lizzo Don’t Talk To Anyone Jack Whitehall

“There was so much energy they could have done the whole performance for me” well not exactly mrs. Lizzo

This is so awkward we can’t hear what Lizzo is laughing at Harry Styles looks pissed

‘floutists’ is the name for flute players huh

I’m so confused what is going on

Lizzo is threatening jack Whitehall with a flute and within the transition to the break i could hear a slight faint shout from jack in the background

Is everyone ok

More people that i wanted to win than who i expected to win are winning

Sam Fender is haha funnie but nobody in the audience thinks so lol

Celeste is performing she’s the new Rising Star award she has already had a bit of a crack but I’m pretty sure that’s part of the song

This song is ok

Bit boring tbh. Audience is getting tired too. This is lasting like 5 minutes and the song is pretty flavourless and repetitive. Yawn snore

We’re about half way through and I’ve kind of lost interest ngl

Honestly lewis capaldi did better than celeste on jah

Jack Whitehall is having a mental breakdown right now. Understandable

Billie Eilish will win International Female Solo Artist

Billie Eilish won International Female Solo Artist

Lizzo looks so disappointed for whatever reason lol like did we really think anyone else would get this award

Sporty Spice is in the background dancing to everything i wanted that is not a song you dance like that to it’s about suicide

This speech is going terribly

Why are so many of these gnarly dudes signed to polydor

Thank you Billie Eilish very cool

No Jack Whitehall Don’t Talk To Harry Styles

Harry Styles looks like he hates Jack Whitehall so much

The Lizzo-Harry-Jack Whitehall love triangle is Awkward And Awful

Lizzo is the only reason the brit awards are good

Ok the exchange about Harry Styles not being taken seriously was pretty funny

In fact this whole exchange was very funny And Partially About Incest

“Is one of these lucky ladies your date?” “That’s my sister”

Lizzo is chugging the tequila

Harry Styles Looks Like He Pissed Himself

The BRIT awards have suddenly become very confusing

Epic Stormzy Time

Genuinely have no idea what song he’ll perform. Probably Vossi Bop?

Stormzy Should Keep The Singing To His Backing Vocalist And Choir

Gospel beat sounds sweet

I think this is supposed to be Lessons but the studio version is so much duller than this version. This one is pretty cool. I think it’s the choir

I’d be surprised if he only does Lessons. Also the production value here was crazy. Full band, pyrotechnics and all.

Oh yeah it’s Vossi Bop time he’s got the red lighting

Nevermind it’s Wiley Flow lol but still

Reminds me of when Kanye did All Day (also the audio got muted for a long period of time just like when Kanye did that)

This one is more choreographed though lol

Why did he perform two of the least popular songs first though

Burna Boy is coming out for Own It alright, he sounds just as good as studio, probably because He’s Not Actually Singing

I don’t like this song but the choreography is great, stage presence is good and the visuals are incredible. Really shows that even with the worst material, you can make a song sound as lively as ever. The horns the live band added to Own It sound beautiful

Burna Boy’s little solo bit was great

He got away with saying “Sucking on their mums” nice

I hadn’t heard Rainfall before this I don’t think (it sounds familiar though), but the mashup with Praise You was great. I love the sight of Stormzy in front of family members, the young men in black outfits from Wiley Flow, the tropical clothes-bearing women from Own It, Burna Boy, the live band, and all. It’s really a nice diverse sight to see. Cool cool. This probably means absolutely nothing but I Am Knackered

Someone You Loved will win Song of the Year

I really hope it’s Ladbroke Grove though. It and Location feel very emblematic of 2019, in a way that I Don’t Care by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber DEFINITELY isn’t

Someone You Loved won Song of the Year

“Biggest winner of the night so far” there’s only one award left mate

Lewis Capaldi Is A Very Funny Man

“Thanks to my grandmother for dying”

Finneas do be lookin kinda handsome tho [2]

Heard a very british voice say “i luv yoo bilie” in the audience lmao

Lewis Capaldi will win Album of the Year

I’d prefer literally anyone else to win this award. Only one of these albums was a 7/10 or above but Lewis Capaldi’s album was unlistenable

OH HELL YEAH THE ONLY GOOD ONE WON

Dave won Album of the Year

Epic I love that album. It could very well have been Capaldi but since Dave won the Mercury Prize I guess he would have been a better prediction

People are screaming man’s lost for words

“Jesus Christ!” dude’s so astonished lol

I loved Dave’s speech actually very inspiring

“Jack, I’m gonna do this one for your mum, Hilary” bruh  rod stewart really saying ‘ur mom’ jokes out here

I love Rod Stewart’s raspy voice man. Orchestra’s great. This is beautiful lol

Gnarly dude got the guitar solo

Conclusion

I cannot be bothered to write some massive conclusion but most of the performances were great and emotionally powerful, especially Stormzy, Dave, Billie and Rod Stewart, and even those who were a bit crap performing were very funny on stage, like Lewis Capaldi. The on stage banter was really cringe-worthy but Jack Whitehall, Harry Styles and Lizzo had this really funny triangle going on. The outro with Ronnie Wood and the rest of Rod Stewart’s band was great, Stormzy’s extended performance was sweet. This was actually a pretty great BRITs, to be honest, and all of the winners, except a select few, deserved it, and if they didn’t, it was pretty expected. There could have been some more winners – off the top of my head, Slowthai and Little Simz weren’t even nominated, but hey, Tyler won. That’s great. The scorecard will be on Twitter. In the words of the BRIT Award winners in 2020, “errr yeah errr”, and thanks for reading!

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020

[julietcapulct]

Ok I really want to try tumblr rpg do you have any resources to help a total beginner?

Hi, there! Okay, I know there are quite a few general guides floating around but they’re not very up to date and I couldn’t find one, so I’ll just jot down some basics for you starting from the very beginning!

So starting out in the tumblr rpc (roleplaying community) in 2017 is going to be daunting, I won’t lie to you. Everything’s changed and evolved so much that the community is very difficult to how it was before. But it’s still fun and wonderful if you know the right places/people!!

So the first thing is to decide if you want to create a specific account for your rp things -- I used to have one but it morphed into a general main blog because I’m lazy and I know a good chunk of the rpc do that now too, so it’s up to you! Most blogs with rpc urls tend to have “__writes” and put a character or a fandom or something?? like my first rpc url was persephonewrites and then i had cosettewrites and stuff like that when I wanted to change it

Having a blog like that is perfect if you’re wanting to 1x1, which is where you and one other person pick a plot (you can reblog plots to a specific tag to save them all on your blog) and then make sideblogs to your main account for your character and then one of you would post a starter and then you’d just reblog from each other and add replies!! I’d link you to my 1x1 blogs but they deleted when my blog got deleted ://

But with group rpg, things are very different!!

So you would go into the rp tag, which is a complete jumbled Mess, and you’d sift through all these groups looking for members - however, that can be difficult as there’s so many different types of group rpgs (appless, bio, skeleton, etc) that you’re better looking in the #lsrp tag, which is basically for more “literate” and “serious” groups rather than your general appless rp where you don’t have to write an application or ‘prove’ yourself as the character you want to take.

So you look in the #lsrp tag and you find a group you like, so you visit the page and everything - if it’s a bio rp, you’d read all the bios and if you found a character you would like to ‘play’ in the group, you check out the application form and fill it out and then submit it through your rp or main account. You would stick to the way the bio is written and the fc (the faceclaim/playby, who you use to visualise your character through photos and gifs when interacting with others) chosen, unless they say you can suggest an fc change to another person! Skeleton rps are where some of the info on the character can be given, but you’re expected to come up with a lot of it yourself and shape the character. OC rps are where you bring your own character you’ve made up and they have no input into it. Appless rps are where you can just send in a message, usually using some kind of format, and say which character you’d like or what your character is like and then you have the role, whereas app rps (the most common and traditional way to group rp) is where you would fill out their application form.

Rps like to set opening dates when they’re first opening, and then usually have fixed acceptance days and have ‘application counts’ where they can tell you if anyone else has applied for that same character, and then once they’ve accepted someone, they’ll post the name and who it is so you know if you’ve got that role or not. 

For group rpgs, you make a brand new acount for your character, and you set the url to something that references your character, whether its just the character name or whatever you want!! You’d then set a nice clean theme (you can search #character theme on tumblr or I’d rec any of these) and you give your blog an icon and make it look all pretty!! 

Here’s one of my old character blogs for reference, if this helps!

So you then there’s usually a ‘checklist’ page on the rpg that tells you what to do one you’ve been accepted, which is usually to make your account within a certain time period & then send the main rpg page a message letting them know this is your account. After that, you’d check their blogroll and follow all the other characters/members and you’d track the tags given which means you keep up to date on new starters, follows, unfollows, events, etc.

So then usually the general rule is you would go into the starter tag if the rp already started before you joined, and you’d check to see if there are any new starters. A starter is just a post by a member as their character, and you would reblog it and have your character interact with theirs! For example, here is a starter tag for one of my old rps! So you’d look in the starter tag for your rpg and the most recent posts or ones with no notes aka nobody interacting, you would reblog and write your character interacting with theirs through whatever scenario they had written.

Then, you can make your own starter. You can write whatever scenario you’d like, but it’s best to keep it vague enough to apply to everyone in your rpg! You’d then tag it in the starter tag and wait for people to reblog it.

Then, you just keep reblogging back and forth, picking up ‘threads’ of conversation and plot; this is how your character develops and the plot moves forward. You can also have prompts or events, where the main/admin will propose something within the general plot and then your character can react as it’s happening - events are usually like a party within the plot, or a fight or something?? They go on for up to two weeks to give you time to fully round out a good little arc within that event, and then you finish up those threads and can post new starters.

You want to make sure you’re cutting your replies so that you only see the other persons latest reply and your reply to it, so downloading XKit and using that to keep tumblr to the old reblog system is best!

Honestly, the best way to learn about Tumblr rpg is to go into the #rp and #lsrp tags and check out the groups, especially ones that are open and active, and seeing the members and how they operate! Here and here are my two old rps, and you can scroll through the blogrolls and see how the members interacted and stuff!

Okay, this is very jumbled and Messy but I hope this helped?? I’m writing it at half 12 and my brain is fuzzy so I’m so sorry if this doesn’t make an sense. If there’s anything in particular you’d like me to go over, please send me another message either through IMs or anonymously and I’ll go over things in greater detail! Starting out is always scary, but the rpc can be lovely and if you find the right group and people, they’ll welcome you in and make sure you’re okay!! It’s perfectly okay to make mistakes and mess up, too, so don’t feel you have to know everything!

[dreamteamspace]

Random and perhaps specific question, if there were to be, hypothetically an acc made specifically to reblog mcyt fanart to the point it can balance the like:reblog ratio, do you think this is a good idea? I'd like to know your thoughts and maybe suggestions

In general, making a sideblog to reblog mcyt things, especially fanart, is a great idea! It allows you to seperate things from your main blog and reblog as much as you want without worrying about spamming people, and hey, some people might even follow for exactly that!

As for the like/reblog ratio: Obviously when you reblog something, you improve the ratio a little bit (the more notes, the tinier the improvement, given you also leave a like. If you don't leave a like out of principle, I guess you theoretically move the ratio a little more (mathematically speaking), but not because it 'actually' moved or because more people 'actually' saw it, it just gets one note less.)

It's obviously still a good thing to do! It helps spread the post, and hey, one of your followers might reblog the post and get it going even further!

I'm not sure what you mean with "to the point it can balance the like/reblog ratio". One single blog simply cannot do that. Even if you spam reblog, the ratio might LOOK better, but same with reblogging without leaving a like: The ratio looking a little better doesn't always mean more people saw it. In fact, theoretically, a blog that spams reblogs until there's as many as there are likes (if that were even manually possible, although that would probably need a bot or something) probably wouldn't have almost any people following that blog because of the spam they'd have to scroll through.

One reblog is all that one sideblog can *usefully* do, other than maybe reblog once every few days perhaps over different timezones. Although this, again, wouldn't be enough to "fully" balance the ratio.

And since I've started writing this marvelous essay already and you've got my going, dear anon, I have something else to say that's on my mind that I feel like a lot of people miss (although isn't directed at you specifically, I just feel like this is a good post to talk about it):

A lot of people on tumblr yell for reblogs, and they're right for the most part! This site lives on reblogs. I recently learned how to quick reblog on desktop (Hold down "e" and hover over the rb button of a post), and I reblog as much as I can. Reblogging things you like is crucial to this site.

That being said...

given each user that reblogs the post also leaves a like (as I said before, not doing that *technically* improves the ratio, but doesn't *actually* show it to more people, making the like/reblog ratio statistically inaccurate),

given every user that normally would've simply left a like and moved on,

-because it doesn't fit their blog theme, -because they've already reblogged dozens of posts that day, -because while they agree with a controversial post don't want to shove it at their followers just trying to vibe, -because it's a theme more adult-leaning than their typical content and the content they're comfortable showing their followers,

reblogs the post instead,

is a situation in which the like/reblog ratio would be "balanced", but is not realistic.

Because the above reasons exist. We can't ignore them. It could destroy specific, trigger-free spaces, spaces for minors, blogs with themes entirely and blogs that insist on a positive atmosphere meant to relax rather than start things.

A blog that posts and reblogs exclusively pictures of frogs reblogging a fanart of a minecraft youtuber would maybe lose a couple followers and the people following that blog would only be very marginally interested in it. Which is, again, where sideblogs come in: If the person running the frog blog likes mcyt that much, they'd probably consider making a sideblog. But we can't force people to make sideblogs, so assuming we do NOT ignore the reasons stated above for not reblogging, let's present a more realistic situation:

given every user that likes the post in some capacity but does not plan or personally does not want to reblog it instead ignores the like function and does not give a like,

then the same post would have... less notes. Yep. That's it. That's all that would change, really. The like/reblog ratio would be "perfect", but like... the post would have less notes.

The only time where the "reblog things!" is relevant is when people who WANT and are WILLING to reblog a post do not do so for a reason that is AVOIDABLE, such as:

"Im scared people will think Im cringe/this isnt the content my blog is made for/I dont want to show this to my followers for whatever reason, but i still want to support this interest of mine" (make a sideblog),

"reblogging takes too long" (learn to quick reblog. Side note, though: as someone with high depression times, yes, even reblogging can sometimes feel mentally exhausting. Obviously your mental health always comes first, and quick-reblogging does not allow you to add trigger or content warning tags, should you use those for your blog.),

"reblogging isnt that important, it won't matter" (YES, IT IS. YES, IT WILL),

or anything else within reason.

And like, I GET it. People want to boil down the message as simple as possible so that people understand it while scrolling by at 80 mph, which is "REBLOG THINGS", in hopes to reach the people that don't reblog for one of the reasons stated above.

But like, if people that can't/won't reblog a post anyway for one reason or another, and never plan to, just stop using the like function alltogether- we'd have a perfect like/reblog ratio, but just like... less notes on posts.

What people need to understand is that *only reblogs truly help in spreading a post and likes don't do anything other than add a note*, which is valuable and important information, especially people who come here from other sites where the like works differently. I put "likes" on a lot of posts that dive very heavily into drama or criticize ccs (even if I half agree, although most times I just don't know enough to know whether that's even a good take or not). I reblog them only when I think that *my followers would in some way benefit from seeing that post*.

Even if we're on the topic of fanart: Some fanart needs a hell ton of trigger tags, some I vaguely think looks okay but is from a cc or character that I literally know nothing about nor have ever seen and that nobody follows me for, but I still want to add a note.

Where I'm going with this is that, like, we're never gonna have a "perfect" 1:1 like/reblog ratio? It's literally impossible, unless people want to get less notes on their posts alltogether, and I don't see the point in that, personally. Likes may not do much, they really only do a little compared to reblogs, but sometimes people just... want to do a little.

TLDR: We just have to tell people likes work differently here than on other sites, and that reblogs are important and have a much greater effect on the post, and that likes work differently.

This system isn't designed to have its ideal state be a 1:1 ratio: It's designed to have an option of giving only a little and much more covert support to a post if you happen to not want to reblog it for some reason.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Neptune, Black Hole, Cancer (I was debating on if Cancer was too heavy or not but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Neptune- Describe yourself in one sentence.

oh man lol i’d just wanna like, use a string of words…..but how about “i live inside my own head and i have a kind of je ne sais quoi but in a bad way, so that i don’t do very well socially, but unfortunately i’m also a very social person, and i’m passionate.”

Black Hole- What are you most afraid of?

uhhh well what i’m afraid of personally is different from things i’m afraid of like, happening more generally, and the latter is of more concern to me lol….but uhh personal fears, i’m anxious abt teeth problems b/c i will never be able to afford dentistry and just have to off myself, i generally just ignore that worry until it becomes a problem tho and then i can just off myself. i find many forms of mold perturbing especially if i come across it unexpectedly. i don’t like dead bugs. but those are just peturbations. my fear is prison because prison just like, consumes human life. it is like made to happen in its own isolated world and you no longer exist to people in the real world. in some ways it’d be like, well not much is new for me, but at least now i technically can feel like there’s a chance things could improve. if you’re incarcerated for however long you know that for however many years, things can’t change and there’s no chance you’ll be treated as fully human (coz you wouldn’t be there if you were). and even just one year is a long time. sometimes the idea of things being the same even for a few more months is too much for me to be okay with. and my connection to other people and my own future is extremely tenuous and i don’t exactly have much hope and if i went to prison, then, yknow i can adapt to anything and lifes always been crappy and i always tolerate new crap and drag myself along and i always wanna find small ways to make a difference to others in however i can but like. speaking of offing myself lol. then there’s also other anxieties i have abt my future and if im “properly homeless” aka on the street instead of on the street but in my car like i used to be. there’s some things to worry about there.

Cancer- How do you want to be remembered?

this isn’t too heavy or anything lol i can’t think of any offlimits topic for me…but i’m generally too Shy to send other ppl ~heavy~ topics myself lol like you can’t always feel sure…but like in case ppl didnt know i think abt my own death like probably multiple times a day and it’s basically a casual subject for me. i don’t much care about being remembered at all, i don’t have family or anything and the only thing abt dying as an Unknown Person is you get misgendered lol. just idk…do whatever w my corpse i dont want it its gross….give ppl my bones or whatever. gross but great. anyways honestly this blog has the most info abt who i really am than anyone else has anywhere lmaooo…thats why i get depressed abt whenever ppl get the idea that tumbs is abt to be deleted…this is my memoriam right here or whatever. look at my weird art tag and remember that i was a gay. i hope i’ve managed to make a good impact on some ppl’s lives in small ways, tho i don’t need them to remember me for it, i just hope the effect outlives me. i don’t really care abt being remembered lol if i’m out i’m out and i feel i’ve tried to be a genuinely decent person and don’t really need testimonials for that. skip a funeral god knows nobody wants that and anybody i’d even vaguely be ok w attending one is all over the place. basically if i drop dead i hope ppl come across some content i’ve made and are like “nice” aaaand beyond that idk. Remember I Was Fiery And Queer