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saabbi · 3 years

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Regret part 9

Light in darkness

Genshin Impact Adeptus! reader

warnings: self-deprecation, imposter syndrome

word count: ~1.7k

notes: please remember that you are loved, and not just in the fic itself.

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No words are needed to exchange. Zhongli must surely be curious, worried even, to find out what happened in Snezhnaya. But he remained quiet, pushing away the rampant thoughts running across his mind.

What’s most important isn’t digging out what happened, but that you’re alright and safe.

Zhongli doesn’t miss the pale complexion on you, making sure to swing by Bubu Pharmacy to ask Baizhu for some antiseptic cream and aspirin just in case you’re still feeling unwell.

He brought you to his residency, which is unsurprisingly close to the funeral parlour. A few sprouting flowers in the interior caught your eye, the blue distinguish colour resembles that of a jewel. It must be a good season for glazed lilies to grow and bloom.

“Would you like tea?” Zhongli turns his head to you, holding up a few cups.

“Yes, please.” He also takes out some cakes, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you’re way too full for some tea snacks.

Zhongli is definitely inquisitive, his occasional glances and slight frown shows that he has much more to say apart from asking if you want tea and snacks.

But he didn’t ask you any questions, never pressuring you into telling him. He decided to wait until you feel ready to talk about it. For you, he can always wait.

You hold the cup in your palms, the warmth gradually spreading to your whole body.

“Zhongli,” you take a sip of the refreshing tea, making up your mind. “Can you ask Ganyu and Xiao to come? I… have something to tell you all.”

Zhongyi nervously nods with his heart thumping, not sure if he’s ready to hear what you have to tell them.

Silence fills the room, then your sharp inhales, the unsteady voice and shaking pupils as you begin to speak.

Your shaking voice, your spilling emotions, your trembling hands. The suffocating feeling in your heart and the bitterness in your throat. You keep on going, you can’t think straight, you feel light headed and exhausted, but you want to keep going. You want to tell them, the things you saw, the things you felt, the worthlessness eating you away.

Ganyu tugs your arm and hugs them tightly, Zhongli and Xiao each resting a hand on yours to remind you that they’re here. They let you keep going, even if you look like you’re in pain.

They listen in silence, allowing you to spill everything in the safe space. You stop for a second, hearing sniffles from the horned girl next to you.

Ganyu shakes her head, telling you that she’s okay, and that you can go on.

With trembling eyes and hoarse voice, you tell them, how you thought you would be okay even if the Tsarista didn’t need you anymore, thought it would be okay even if she throws you away. But you weren’t, your heart sunk to the bottom when she implied that you’re no longer needed, as if all the time you spent by her side as a faithful subordinate meant nothing to her.

You mentioned that you know the Tsarista is only interested in the power you possess, you repeatedly told yourself that if it’s what the Tsarista desires, you shall comply without any hard feelings, for you are her harbinger, her title-less twelfth harbinger.

So why did it hurt so much? Why did you feel something worse than physical pain? Like you were stabbed with thousand swords, mercilessly piercing you without a break, making you lose your breath and vision cloudy.

It felt like the world crumbled, blood rushing to your head and the sudden heaviness taking over your body.

Oh. In the midst of talking your own feelings out, you realised- you felt angry, desperate, hurt, betrayed.

You realised, that over the years, loyalty is not the only thing that sprouted. You always brushed it off, pretending like it never existed, but deep down, you felt angry.

Angry at the Tsarista for pulling you away from Liyue, angry at her for letting you go through terrible things, even if you can’t remember clearly what happened.

The mixture of admiration, loyalty, desperation and anger has always stuck within you whenever you see her cold yet graceful figure.

But you had nothing except her, so you clung onto your loyalty towards her and repressed other thoughts of her, ignoring the tingling senses and blindly telling yourself that you’re always loyal to the Tsarista.

Every single word that comes out, Zhongli takes them in all, even if it pricks his heart like thorns. He takes a deep breath and shuts shis eyes, he wants it to stop. But he knows he has to listen and share your burden.

He wants to listen, even if it hurts, lamenting for the times he couldn’t be there for you. But now, he could. And the least he could do is to listen to you.

In the past, Zhongli failed miserably as a guardian, but now he has the chance to be with the three of his beloved adepti once again. He’s the listener, he’ll always be willing to listen to you if you confide in him.

Zhongli takes one last gulp of his tea. He embraces the crushing pain in his heart and clasp your hand tightly.

You stutter and choke out some incomplete sentences in the process, words tying into knots, but it’s okay. There’s no need for you to rush, they have all the time and undivided attention for you to tell them whatever you want.

Your right hand feels like it’s about to be crushed, somehow. You glance over to the side and is met with another pair of amber eyes.

Glossy eyes filled with uncertainty, concern and shock. His mouth gaped open, unable to find words, so he chooses to hear instead of responding.

The way you described your journey in Snezhnaya feels lonely to him. Xiao is no stranger to the feeling of solitude, but your gaze feels far, far more lonelier than what Xiao has ever been through. He watched as unfathomable emotions swirl in your eyes, your gaze shifting every so often in trying to find the right words.

A part of him thinks that, perhaps he should’ve sought for you, or even just send a single letter millennia ago instead of pathetically dreaming in the Wangshu inn, then perhaps you wouldn’t have to always feel like you're all alone without anyone to rely on.

Xiao holds your other hand tightly. He doesn’t know how to show affection, but he hopes that this reassures you that you’re no longer alone.

Your lone narrative went on for minutes, then hours, until you lost track of time. You then mutter the last few sentences.

“I lost my powers, I don’t feel qualified to be an adeptus anymore, I-“ this part is harder to say than anything else. “I don’t know why I’m here, or anywhere anymore.”

“I feel like I…lost my purpose.” First was your abandonment from Zhongli, the bane of your misfortune. Then was the Tsarista, the one who broke you more than anything else. You feel lost in life, wandering without a purpose.

“I’m just a… nobody.”

Slam. The sudden impact on the table made you jump. You look up at Xiao who suddenly stood up and slammed his fists on the table with brute force.

His frown is deep, eyes burning with fury and looking at you with disbelief. He is livid.

“Don’t you dare say that one more time.”

Confused, you furrowed your eyebrows and tilt your head a bit. At first you thought he’s mad at the fact that you willingly let your powers be taken away from you, but that doesn’t seem to what he’s mad at.

“You are not worthless, not a nobody. I won’t forgive you even if you say that one more time, even if you said it yourself.”

Xiao clenches his fist tightly, glaring at you. He rarely gets mad at you, it makes you feel a bit guilty.

“Xiao’s right.” Ganyu joins in, her palms squeezing your arms with force making you turn to her. “Please do not say that, ever again. You mean everything to us, how could you- how could you say you’re worth nothing?”

Ganyu has a sorrowful look instead. You don’t know how to respond to them, you can’t figure out whether the present incompetent you means everything to them, or the you they once knew and adored.

You think of the latter one. After all, there’s nothing much on you that is actually worth something.

Zhongli seems to know what you’re thinking, as he slowly opens his mouth. “My child.”

“Nothing changes the fact that you’re an adeptus, one of us, with or without your adeptal powers.”

“No matter the past, present or future you, will always be the one we love.” His gaze firm and solemn, trying hard to convey his feelings to you.

“You don’t have to be perfect, it’s okay to be incomplete.” Zhongli stands up and treads towards you.

He stops next to you, bending down a bit before enveloping you into a tight hug. You stiffen up.

“Because no matter what, you are you, and nothing will ever change that. And the fact that we love you will always be true.”

Hic. You let out ugly voices from your throat, breaking into a ugly sob and staggered breathing.

The warmth warping you increases, with Ganyu and Xiao joining.

Zhongli soothes you by brushing your back softly, Ganyu patting your head and lightly ruffles your hair. Xiao appears to be quite awkward at first, but decides to rest your head on his chest and warp his arms around your head as you sob.

It’s so warm, so warm that it feels unreal. Words of affirmation and love is such a stranger to you, the words and actions they display makes your chest hurts.

Your heart tugs at you, but you know it’s not because you’re sad, it’s because you feel relieved, happy, and thankful.

You are loved. Even if you don’t realise it.

Love is not determined by how much one spends time with each other, nor will it diminish with time or distance.

Forgive does not mean forgetting. The past cannot be reverted. The resentful decisions Zhongli has made in the past remain embedded in history and cannot be undone.

However, it does not mean that relationships cannot be rebuilt. A step at a time, as long as you’re willing to, as long as you are here and with them, things can start over.

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fa-headhoncho · 3 years

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Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 5

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt: i stuck at prompts so uh hoskins is the best and walker is kind of the worst and the beginning then the worst at the end :)

Word Count: 1865

Reader: Female

Warning: uhhh

Author's Note: lmk for taglist, also sorry for not updating, I've had major writer's block. also struggling with tying things together in the plot. i'd rather not post anything than regret posting something lol. PLEASE GIVE ME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, I KNOW THERE IS STUFF WRONG, JUST TELL ME

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

=====

Waiting.

All you have left to do is wait. After letting the Flag Smashers get away, flying to Germany to infiltrate their base, and Zemo “mysteriously” breaking out of prison; you have to sit here at a random cafe and wait. Wait for a sighting or wait for the two idiots to respond to your messages.

The whole situation frustrated you. No evidence pointed to Sam and Bucky breaking Zemo out but that was enough proof for you and Walker to agree that it was them. Hoskins, on the other hand, was skeptical.

“Why would two Avengers break a criminal out of prison?” Said soldier questions from beside you. The three of you were sat outside, away from prying eyes and ears while you had a quiet meal together. It was nice to have some calm but it made you itch.

You shrug and look down at your cup of coffee, “Steve got me out of prison and I have more a wrap sheet than Zemo does.”

“Yea, but that was to save the world.” Lemar points out, giving you an exhausted look. An uncomfortable pit in your stomach forms at the mention of the first battle, the one that blipped half the world gone.

Silence falls amongst the three of you again as you all are consumed by your thoughts. A small frown appears on your face as you think back to those years ago. Natasha Romanoff, a woman you will never see again, walked into your cell with a kind smile on her face. She explained to you the circumstances and how they needed everyone they could find to defeat a titan wanting world domination.

The look on Bucky’s face seeing you in Wakanda with the blonde was nerve-wracking. He looked like he saw a ghost. It brought back memories that you knew he didn’t want to think of and you felt guilty. It was not the first time the past has blended into his present and it wasn’t going to be the last, but it was worth it.

After his initial shocked expression, he greeted you with a surprised smile. One you never saw on him during your time at Hydra with his former self. He greeted you with your alias and his smile only got larger when you corrected him with your real name.

It was a sign of a fresh start between the two of you. He stuck beside you during the whole battle, protecting you from the aliens since it was obvious you were a bit rusty. It was nice… until you lost him again.

“They were desperate.” Walker’s voice rings out from across from you, a tone of realization.

“Who?”

“The Avengers.” He clarifies making you scoff and lean back in the patio chair. “They were up against an army that they thought they defeated years ago, an alien titan threatening to take over a world they’ve been trying to protect for years. The team was split into two and they didn’t know when the other half would show up.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms in annoyance at his backhanded analysis. You were out of practice, yea, but you were useful. They couldn’t have been that desperate to recruit you. “How does that relate to now?”

Now it’s Walker’s turn to roll his eyes. “So,” He drags out then lets out a scoff, “we have no leads. We’re at a dead end and we have the government behind us. They are as desperate as we are but the only difference is that they’re freelance heroes.” He carefully explains causing you to let out a sigh. You understood what he was getting at and it made you annoyed that he was right.

“So they can blur the lines we can’t.” You reluctantly conclude, he nods and relaxes in his seat. You had to hand it to him, he was smart. His training and years of experience did him well but that didn’t relax your nerves.

Bucky was still in recovery and you didn’t know how he would react to being in Zemo’s presence let alone working with him. He’s been doing better and this plus him not going to therapy is an uncertain combo.

Walker seemed to notice you dazing off again, subtly asking Lemar to go refill their coffees. You don’t notice when the man gets up and walks off until the blonde says your name.

“Hmm?” You hum, moving to grab your cup which was no longer there. A small blush appears on your face as you realize your distraction was gone. Now you have to look at him.

“You know, my wife doesn’t like me working with you that much.” He leans back in his seat and rolls his shoulders back, looking off in the distance. “With, you know, the countless charges of treason and espionage against you.”

You let out a snort, there was a lot more than that. “Where are you going with this, Walker?”

“You said you have more a wrap sheet than Zemo does.” He simply states, eyes finally landing on you. There’s a moment of silence between you two as you try to define his words. Why was he bringing up his wife? Why did it matter that she was eerie of you?

“Yet, she knows I’ll be safe and level-headed because Hoskins is here.” He continues, “Sam is with Bucky, he’s in safe hands. If Zemo were to try anything he has Sam there to help him.”

You roll your head back and run your hands through your hair. There he goes again, thinking he knows everything and understands the situation. He continues to drone on but you stopped listening. You were proud of yourself that you kept your temper down this long, honestly, especially with your emotions right now.

You wait till he’s finished before looking back at him. He had a solemn look on his face, trying to show some sympathy and kindness but it only pissed you off further. “John, he turned him into the Winter Soldier.” Your voice was struggling to keep at an appropriate volume. “He said the words and he was gone. He still had nightmares about it to this day.

“Sam doesn’t know how to deal with the Winter Soldier. I barely do and I spent most of my life working with him. If he--”

“He’s not going to, (Y/N).” He snaps and you immediately shut up. You didn’t even realize the tears that started to pool in your eyes until you felt the wet drop roll down your cheek. He allows you to compose yourself before talking again, “My wife worries about me every day, you don’t think she’s not blowing up my phone every time she sees a newscast?

“I love her, would do anything for her. But she knows that when I see a fight, a chance to do something good or change the world for the better, that she can’t hold me back.” He passionately states as he fails from hiding his own emotions. “She still would worry even if I had...” His hands started to shake and his voice started to quiver.

It startled you, truthfully. He was allowing you to see a different side of him, the real man behind the shield. It was an odd time to get a new perspective on him but it was eye-opening nonetheless. He was opening his heart up to you as much as he probably didn’t want to, showing the same vulnerability you were.

“She supports me. She supports this crazy dream I’m living out right now and she’s there for me. You need to do the same for Bucky.” He culminates his speech just as Hoskins exits the doors of the cafe, juggling three cups and a pastry in his hands.

Walker immediately tries to relax his shoulders while you advert your eyes to the group of tourists across the street. There was a tense air between the two of you that if Hoskins noticed, he didn’t mention.

He sets the pastry down in front of you and you send him a grateful smile, a small warmth in your chest at the gesture to make you feel better. It works slightly until Walker’s words echo through your head.

=====

You let out a groan when you feel something soft wack against your face. Opening your eyes, you see black and don’t fully process what’s actually going on until the object is pulled away and replaced by a phone hovering above you.

“They’re in Latvia.” Walker’s voice rings out from beside you. Your brain finally catches up with being woken up so abruptly as you reach out and grab the phone from his hands.

Avengers Abroad. The article title readout causes you to furrow your eyebrows. Walker starts collecting your things while Hoskins stands at the doorway with two bags in his hands.

You quickly skim through the piece as the blonde aggressively throws your clothes into your duffle, “Why are they in Latvia?” You question, looking up from the phone to Walker who just ignores you. It would’ve made you laugh, seeing him pack up like a child whose mother just picked him up in the middle of a sleepover but the expression on his face was not one to mess with.

“We don’t know.” Hoskin’s soothing voice answers for him. “We need to head out immediately in case they spotted Karli, though. The most we can do right now is meet up with them and help.”

“And arrest Zemo,” Walker adds, walking out of the bathroom.

You raise your hands in exasperation, a questioning look on your face. “Weren’t you the one who was just convincing me that it was a good thing that they had Zemo with them?”

“Never said it was a good thing, just a desperate thing.” He corrects, “Now we have enough information to arrest them both for harboring a fugitive, we can take whatever information they--”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You throw your covers off and get up from the bed. You were furious that he would even utter those words, he knew they were with him and now he was just trying to corner them to make it seem like he was doing civil justice. “You just want to turn the tables to make it seem like you did all the work, you want the starlight more than you want to take down Karli.”

There’s a tense moment of silence where you and Walker just stare at each other. You could tell you struck a nerve by the way his shoulder’s squared up. It happened every time you insulted him and it was his tell to show he was trying to hold back his emotions.

“Just grab the rest of your shit and meet us in the lobby.” He demands, giving your bag a heave and throwing it at you. Luckily, your reflexes work faster than your brain does and you catch it. There’s a bit of guilt that bites at the back of your head for the low blow, especially since he gave you some good advice this morning, but you had more important matters to attend to.

_____

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cobaltusami · 3 years

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That's what Friends are for

Hello! This Is my first Danganronpa tickle story, It's very long I'm sorry! I got a little carried away eh heh heh... It sits at 3521 words, And that's AFTER trimming It down, For future fics I will try not to ramble on as much! Anyways hope you enjoy!

Main characters: Kazuichi, Gundham, Sonia

---

It had been unusually peaceful that day, Everyone seemed to be getting along well... Much to Usami’s delight.

But Hajime knew that wasn’t going to last much longer. Normally when something was going well, Something chaotic would happen and today was no different.

It was the middle of the day, And Usami had thought It to be a good Idea for everyone to hang out at the beach. The students decided to make It a party, And that’s when the chaos started.

A group of students had gone to the supermarket to get decorations and everything they would need for the party, While another group waited at the beach to decorate.

Mostly the boys had been lumped Into bringing the stuff back, Mahiru mentioned something about them being stronger. Once that had been done they were free to relax.

Hajime was sitting by the ocean waves next to Nagito In near silence, He tried to relax but he couldn’t shake the feeling of unease. He tried to distract himself by turning and looking at all his classmates having fun.

Nekomaru and Akane were “Play fighting” as they claimed, Though with how intense their spar could get, He wasn’t sure It counted as play fighting.

Kazuichi was rigging up some kind of Firework display per the request of literally all the girls.

Ibuki was setting up a sound system for music with the help of Chiaki.

Peko and Fuyuhiko were stringing up lights and Mahiru, Hiyoko and Mikan were making floral decorations and Lei’s.

Sonia was tying ribbons to the tables and placing other decorations along the beach.

And Gundham was well.. Being Gundham. He was In a spot further away from everyone else, and also further from the water. He seemed to have taken to playing In the sand, His hamsters gathered around the sand sculpture he was crafting.

Sonia decided to take a small break from decorating to approach the isolated student, Wanting to make sure he was included In the group rather than avoiding them.

“Gundham, What are you making?” Sonia asked as she sat down across from him.

The self proclaimed ‘Dark Prince’ glanced up at the Princess, Meeting her curious gaze. “I am recreating my Four Dark Devas of Destructions’ home, The Imperial Hell Palace!”

Sonia blinked as she processed what he said. “Oh, You are making a sand castle?” She smiled. “It looks wonderful so far, It will be a nice additional decoration for the party!”

“I-It Is not a mere decoration! It Is to serve as a nightmarish reminder of--”

He was cut off by a soft giggle, And stopped talking when he saw the Four dark devas of destruction crawling Into Sonia’s lap. She picked them up In her hands carefully and snuggled them affectionately. “They are so sweet and friendly! You have raised them well.” She smiled kindly at the Ultimate Breeder.

His face went red as he looked away, Pulling his scarf up to hide his blush. “You… You truly think so…?” He asked quietly. “Th-Thank you, Princess…”

“Hey hey hey, What the hell’s going on over there?!” Kazuichi asked suddenly, Startling Hajime.

“Uh, By the looks of It, I’m guessing Sonia complimented his hamsters again?” Hajime suggested, Recalling his reaction the first time she complimented them.

“He better not be making any moves on Miss Sonia! I called dibs!” He complained childishly.

“I don’t think you can call dibs on a Person, Kazuichi.” Nagito spoke up, Smiling in vexation.

“Yeah, Especially when that person doesn’t like you back.” Hiyoko chimed In, Snickering at the glare sent her way.

“If It bothers you so bad to be left out, Why don’t you just go join In?” Mahiru suggested. “Go build sandcastles with them.”

Kazuichi looked at her, Exasperated. “You aren’t possibly suggesting I go be friendly with my rival, Are you!?”

Mahiru shrugged. “Why not?”

“W-Why not!?”

“L-L-Look at I-It this way…” Mikan stammered. “I-If Sonia were t-to s-s-see you ge-getting along with him… Sh-Sh-She might like you m-m-more!”

“That’s a stupid Idea, Don’t listen to this pig barf!”

“Actually, It makes sense If you think about It.” Mahiru agreed with Mikan’s sentiment. “If you make an effort to be friends with Gundham, Sonia might be impressed.”

Hajime exchanged glances with Nagito, Who sighed quietly. Both silently saying the same thing; That’s not going to work.

“Y-You really think so?” Kazuichi asked warily, Glancing back over the two. Sonia was now helping Gundham make his ‘sand palace’. They seemed to be having fun, The Blonde giggling happily as she worked on making a mote.

“I’m sure of It.”

“Or, You could be a man and tell him to back off.” Hiyoko suggested. “If that doesn’t work, Maybe you could embarrass him and make him look like a total loser In front of her. You should know what those look like.”

“H-Hiyoko! Don’t give him any ideas!” Hajime cut In, But his words fell upon deaf ears.

“How do I even get her away from him so I can try to ‘befriend’ him?”

Mahiru hummed In thought for a moment. “I got It!” She walked back over to where the flowers were and picked up some of the decorations carefully In her hands. “Hey Sonia? I’ve got some of the decorations done!” She called out.

Sonia jumped a bit. “O-Oh my! I forgot entirely about the decorations!” She gasped out In surprise, Giving Gundham an apologetic look. “I am so sorry, I will be back!”

“It Is alright, Princess. Go tend to your Embellishing duties, The Imperial Hell Palace will be here once you return.” He played It cool and acted as though he wasn’t disappointed- Though he definitely was.

Sonia carefully put the hamsters down and stood up, Giving a small bow and stride gracefully over to Mahiru to discuss the decorations.

Kazuichi made his move, Casually walking over to the Ultimate Breeder, who seemed a bit more downcast than usual. “Hey Gundham, Whatcha making?” He asked while feigning interest, Crouching down next to the solemn student.

The Supreme Ice Overlord was taken aback at first, Why would he all of a sudden approach him? Kazuichi doesn’t seem too fond of him… Oh… Ohh. His face had initially seemed to perk up a bit at the prospect of someone joining In, But he immediately became annoyed once he connected the dots.

“Foolish mortal,” He grumbled. “Do you take me for a fool? I know what you are up to.” He narrowed his eyes at the Pinkette.

Kazuichi flinched. “W-What are you talking about man? I just wanted to see what you were doing.”

“You are merely over here to assert to me that you have claimed Sonia, Are you not?”

“N-No! Of course not! I thought It looked like you guys were having fun so I wanted to ask If i could join in.”

Gundham gave one more piercing glare before turning back to his sandcastle. “Why must you constantly chase after her, Fiend? You seem to have dedicated your existence to fawning over her.” He asked In annoyance, Unable to even look at him.

“I-I don’t!”

Gundham didn’t have many friends, In fact, Growing up he didn’t have any. Most people write him off as weird or scary and avoid him. Having someone try to pretend to be friendly with him, Was only reminding him of how few people actually care about him, thus making him irritable.

“Why?” He mumbled under his scarf. “Why must you try to chase her off? Is It really that intolerable to you for her to wish to speak to someone such as me?”

Kazuichi stammered, Taken aback by this unexpected response from the Dark Prince. He was actually starting to feel bad about his actions until…

“Foolish Mortal! I shall not let you take her away!” Gundham declared, Locking eyes with the Ultimate Mechanic.

Sonia was one of the only people not put off by the way he acts and speaks, And seemed to genuinely care about him as evident by trying to include him every chance she got. Of course, He didn’t have romantic feelings for her, Per se, He just longed for a sense of belonging.

He just wanted someone to call a friend.

Kazuichi’s face got red with anger. “I knew It! You really do like her!”

“Of course I do, Fiend! How can one not?” He shot back, Oblivious to what Soda actually meant by ‘like'.

“L-Listen here! You better stay away from her! She’s mine dammit!” He threw any attempts at getting along out the window and instead took Hiyoko’s advice.

Much to Hajime’s dismay. He watched on in silent horror.

“Fool! You cannot lay claim to someone who does not return your affections!” The Ultimate Breeder fired back. “You cannot control one such as her!”

“But I can control you… Stay away from her- Or else!”

“Fuahahaha!” Gundham burst out laughing bitterly at this threat. “That truly Is amusing, You think you can order me around!? You pathetic human! I am the great GUNDHAM TANAKA! What could you possibly do to stop me?”

That was the boiling point, Kazuichi lunged at Gundham and the two went rolling around on the beach. Soda had some decent muscle built up from all the work he does on machinery, So he expected to have an easy upper hand against Tanaka.

However, The Great Gundham Tanaka was also much stronger than he looked, Of course he’d have to be with the wide variety of animals he cares for.

Neither one of them were giving up without a fight, And both struggled to obtain the upper hand as they wrestled around.

The commotion they made had garnered the attention of the other beach goers, Most were taken aback, But someone was egging it on.

“God, Kazuichi! How are you struggling this much? Even I could win this fight.” Hyoko called out, Encouraging the Mechanic with her insults… Somehow.

“S-Soda! Tanaka! What the hell are you two doing?!” Nekomaru stammered, Shocked by the sudden fight amongst classmates.

“Should we intervene, Coach Nekomaru?” Akane asked, Both of them were unsure so they waited.

Gundham tried to pin him down to put an end to this ridiculous fight, But Kazuichi grabbed for his shirt to throw him off. In the process of doing said action, His fingers came into contact with Gundham’s sides, Drawing a sharp gasp from him as he went tumbling down beside Soda.

His arms instinctively wrapped around his midsection, Causing Kazuichi to pause. Tanaka slowly scooted away from him, Watching him cautiously as though he were a wild animal.

“What the…” Soda slowly sat up, Watching him with intense interest.

“F-Foolish mortal… Do not give me that look!” He tried to regain his previous composure.

A sharp, Toothy grin plastered Itself onto the Ultimate Mechanic’s face as he dangerously pursued the Dark Prince. “Whatsa matter? You look a little flustered there, Gundham~” His words were laced with Mischievous intent.

“Stay back!” He intended It to come out as a command, Or a threat, But It came out as panicked. Gundham could recognize the almost predatory look In Kazuichi’s eyes, And unlike with Animals, He had no way to diffuse the situation.

Before Tanaka could scramble to his feet and retreat like he intended, Soda grabbed his ankle and pulled him back towards him. “Ohhh no you don’t.” He grinned, settling himself on his hips. “It’s not like you to get scared… Could It be because you’re… Ticklish?”

Gundham, Who had previously been struggling, went eerily still. Almost as If hoping that If he didn’t move, Kazuichi wouldn’t do anything. For a moment Kazuichi could see the panic in his eyes.

Gundham glanced over to the rest of the beach, So many people were staring at them. Most likely trying to figure out If they should intervene and pull Kazuichi off or not.

All those eyes on him was making him even more uncomfortable, He had to do something to gain back a semblance of control.

He looked back up at Kazuichi, His coldness returning to him. “Mortal, If you do not get off of me In the next-- ACK!”

Or not.

Kazuichi grinned as he dug his fingers into his sides. “I’m sorry, What was that?”

Gundham tried not to react, But due to being touch starved and having no resistance to something like tickling, He was giggling within seconds. He pulled his scarf over his face to hide his reactions and muffle any embarrassing sounds he might make.

“Looks like you’re not so tough when you’re a giggling mess.” Soda teased, He noticed that his shirt rode up a bit during the last struggle and opted to dance his fingertips all across the exposed skin of his stomach.

This drew laughter from the normally stoic Ultimate, His laughter- What Soda could hear of it- Sounded different from his usual laughter. It was still deep but not quite as deep. It was also breathy and rich, The gasps between laughs he took indicated that Gundham wasn’t used to laughing.

"What’s the matter? Does the Great Gundham Tanaka really have nothing to say?” Yes, Kazuichi was quite enjoying himself right now. He liked how big bad Gundham Tanaka was reduced to a quivering pile of laughter by a simple touch. It was amusing. “Looks like I finally found your weakness.” He chuckled.

“St-Stohohop this at once!” He managed a feeble command between laughs.

What Is this feeling? He was utterly embarrassed being tickled In front of his entire class, but yet… It wasn’t unbearable. Even the feeling of his calloused fingertips slowly spidering up and down his sides right now, It tickled like hell but It still wasn’t… Unpleasant?

Gundham’s laughter shot up In volume once Kazuichi reached his ribs, He took advantage of this sensitive spot and honed in on it. “Aww, Does the Supreme overlord of... whatever, have ticklish ribs?” He cooed teasingly, Discovering that lighter touches seemed to be more effective.

The Ultimate Breeder found he was having more trouble breathing now with his scarf In his face, But he didn’t want people to see his face.

Kazuichi, Noticing how frequent the gasps for air had become, Slowed down significantly. “You might wanna move that scarf, You might suffocate yourself.” He laughed a little, But this was a genuine fear of his.

Gundham shook his head defiantly, Giggles still pouring past his lips. He’d rather suffocate than have everyone see him blushing and laughing like a fool.

The Mechanic reached with one hand for the offending article, But The black and gray haired student held on tightly to it. “Fine, I guess we’ll do this the hard way.”

He brought the hand that was still tickling him up, His fingers snaking their way into his underarm and began tickling him without mercy.

This drew a scream from the pale student, His back arching as if revolting against the sensations. He immediately brought his arm down In an attempt to protect the sensitive area.

This allowed Kazuichi to grab hold of the purple scarf and rip it away from the gasping and laughing ultimate beneath him. “Aha! Got It!” He gloated, Tossing the piece of clothing out of Gundham’s reach.

Now Kazuichi was free to tickle as much as he wanted without fear of Tanaka smothering himself.

Although now he needed to worry about making him pass out from laughing too hard. “What do you say, Gundham? Are you going to admit defeat?” He asked teasingly as he danced his fingers up and down his ribcage.

He shook his head defiantly, Bringing his hands up to cover his face. “N-NEVER FIEHEHEHEND! AHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Yeah, It’s just as I thought. You’re just having toooo much fun to give up.” He cooed as he slowed down to give Gundham a chance to breathe a little. “You’re lucky I don’t know how to undo your boots, You’d really be In for It!”

“When Ihihihihi get freehehehe you’re dehehehead!” He giggled hysterically behind his hands, His face reddening even more-- If that was even possible.

He knew that Kazuichi was just trying to fluster him with his words but… Huh. Was he having fun? Wh-- NO! Don’t be ridiculous! Why did that thought even cross his mind?! He’s GUNDHAM TANAKA, He doesn’t find joy In such childish things!

“Oh yeah? Well good luck.” Soda scoffed. “Because all I have to do to stop you Is tickle you… HERE!”

He suddenly shoved his wiggling fingers back under his arms, drawing another scream from Gundham. This one wasn’t muffled because he shot his arms down the instant he felt the ticklish sensation.

“NOO! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Gundham threw his head back with loud laughter, His back arched as he kicked his legs In a feeble attempt to get free. He grabbed for Kazuichi’s wrists but he couldn’t muster enough strength to throw him off.

“You’re like, MEGA ticklish here!” Kazuichi laughed along with him, Finding his laughter to be somewhat contagious.

Sonia, Who hadn’t heard the previous commotion, Was startled by the sound of Gundham’s scream, She set down the floral arrangement she held in her hands and whipped around looking for the source of the sound. “G-Gundham?” Her eyes scanned the beach until… She saw It.

She gasped softly, Covering her mouth in surprise. “Oh my! Is he okay??” She was worriedly making her way over to the two but then she realized, He was… Laughing. Sonia took a closer look at them. “Is he… Tickling him?” She asked curiously.

“Yeah, Definitely looks that way.” Nagito sighed, Shaking his head. Though he couldn’t help but smile at the two’s antics.

Sonia giggled in delight. “That Is adorable! I never knew Gundham was ticklish.”

“I don’t think Kazuichi knew either.” Hajime whispered, Receiving an elbow to the ribs from Nagito. He recoiled quickly drawing an interested gaze from the Ultimate Lucky student.

“What? Don’t have any more threats for me?” The pink haired student grinned as he watched the pale man shake his head In response as loud laughter continued to flow freely from his mouth.

“Kazuichi, He needs to breathe!” The Mechanic quickly looked up to see Sonia approaching them. He withdrew his hands, Relenting his attack.

“M-Miss Sonia!” Soda stammered In surprise, Moving off of his winded classmate sheepishly.

Sonia knelt down next to Gundham and put her hands on his shoulders, Gently helping him sit up. Her blue eyes looked to Soda.

He was expecting her to be angry with him, But she looked amused. “It makes me happy to see you two getting along.” She beamed. “You guys looked like you were having so much fun.”

Kazuichi untensed as he realized she wasn’t angry. He and Gundham both exchanged glances. “Yeah, I guess we did have fun.” He laughed happily, Blushing and Folding his arms behind his head.

Gundham’s face flushed again as he looked away from both of them. “Hmph, Speak for yourself, Mortal! No part of that was--”

He was interrupted by Sonia lightly wiggling her fingers against his neck, Drawing a very uncharacteristic squeal from the Supreme overlord of ice. “P-Princess!” He gasped out, Quickly bringing his hands up to shoo hers away.

Sonia giggled as he fixed her with a look of betrayal. “Come on now, Gundham. Surely you cannot deny you were having fun.” She smiled.

“Yeah, You probably could’ve shoved me off If you really wanted to.” Kazuichi smirked.

“I-I did not enjoy any of that cursed activity.” He blushed, Looking down as he folded his arms stubbornly.

“Hey Sonia, Maybe we should tickle him until he admits It?”

For the second time today, He froze up. He quickly looked to the Ultimate Princess to gauge her reaction. Of course, She had a similar predatory glimmer to her eyes as Soda had earlier.

“Hmm.” She hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe~”

“W-Wait.”

“NAGITO STAHAHAP!” Hajime’s sudden laughter drew attention away from the panicking Gundham, Who took this opportunity to grab his scarf and sneak back over to the Sand castle to reclaim his four dark devas of destruction.

It was quite an amusing sight though to be fair, Nagito was currently wrecking Hajime with tickles much to everyone’s amusement.

Gundham hesitantly returned to the two, Though on high alert for any sudden movements. He felt better now that he had his scarf back on and his Devas with him.

He did have fun, Somehow, Of course he wasn’t about to admit this.

“Oh hey, Your sand castle fell apart.” Kazuichi pointed out.

“It Is alright. We’ll help him make a new one!” Sonia smiled.

“I crafted It once, I can craft It again. I do not need assistance.” Gundham’s attempt at pushing her away however, Didn’t work. Not for the reason he was half expecting though.

“Nonsense! If we help you, You’ll be done In time for the party to start.” Kazuichi intervened.

Sonia nodded with a delighted smile. “He Is right. After all, That Is what friends are for, Is it not?”

Friends…?

“Yeah, What she said.” Soda agreed.

Hmph.

“Friends?” Gundham closed his eyes and smirked a little. “That’s a nice line.”

#tickle story #sdr2 #goodbye despair #dangonronpa tickle #Kazuichi soda #Sonia Nevermind #Gundham Tanaka #Lee!Gundham #Ler!Kazuichi #tickling #ticklish #I'm so tired #This took so many hours #I have never once been an overwriter in my life

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ripley95 · 4 years

Text

Echoes of Old Embers

Chapter 11

Pairing: F!Shepard/Kaidan Alenko

Rating: T

Chapter length: 3.3K

Story Synopsis:

After surviving the war, one of Shepard’s biggest regrets was rejecting Kaidan at Apollo’s. Fate has a way of bringing Jane and Kaidan back into each other’s lives. A misunderstanding with his family makes Kaidan and Shepard relive old history and question where they stand.

Link to Chapter 1 on AO3

Chapter Synopsis:

The day of Libby’s wedding has finally arrived. The misunderstandings about her supposed relationship with Kaidan is really getting to her. She questions if they’re starting to get to Kaidan too.

Read to Chapter 11 on AO3

Tumblr Links:

Read the chapter here below the cut:

The morning of the wedding was finally here. Luckily, Shepard had a much more restful sleep than the previous night. She made matters so much worse in pretty much every way that she could, that she had almost expected to have another sleepless night being tormented by the memories of it. She figured the exhaustion from not getting any sleep the night before probably helped on that front at least, and she was grateful for it now. It would be a long day going through all of the celebration, and she didn’t particularly want to feel like she needed a nap in the middle of it all.

She didn’t have much of a chance to see Kaidan since their breakfast the previous day. Both of them were busy with their individual tasks to help prepare everything. Kaidan had mowed the lawn and cleaned up the most visible part of the orchard. When he had finished with that, Ada got him to hang lights along the treeline and in the barn where the reception would be. Meanwhile, Ada had kept Shepard busy preparing more food for the events today. Part of which, she was glad to have Matt’s help with so she could apologise for pulling one over on him. It was a pleasant day, but busy. They barely had enough time to eat dinner before crashing to bed. At least it made their night routine a little less awkward, both exhausted enough to fall asleep almost immediately.

They already had a quick breakfast with the entire family this morning. Libby shared the news that Derek landed safely at his friend’s house the previous night. He was opting to uphold the tradition of not seeing each other on the day of the wedding. Everyone had rushed through their breakfasts to help with last-minute tasks. Everything had come together nicely and it was finally that time in the day that everyone was meant to be getting dressed up and ready.

Shepard was generally the type to go without makeup or stick to the basics in her everyday life, but as per Maisie and Raiya’s advice, today she was going all out. She borrowed a nice dress from Raiya. Luckily they were the same size, because she foolishly realised that she hadn’t brought anything to wear. Not that it would have mattered if she had remembered, since everything she owned was Alliance or N7 provision. Nothing tasteful for a wedding other than a dress that advertised her N7 status, which wouldn’t have been helpful with her trying to blend in. So, she was grateful that one of Kaidan’s sisters was the same size as her and that Raiya was willing to let her borrow something. Ada had let her borrow a necklace and some earrings that went well with the dress. She also put on the most tasteful makeup that she knew how to do. As she was putting on the final touches, she realised that she was pretty pleased with the outcome. She really didn’t look like herself. At least not to her. It was a rather uncharacteristic look on her to be so dressed up, but she figured it served its purpose well. She didn’t think anyone would recognize her like this. Not easily anyway, which was precisely what she wanted.

This whole time, she was getting ready in Kaidan’s bathroom. She was thankful for it, not having to worry about intruding on his sisters using all of the other ones to prepare, but it meant that Kaidan was also getting ready just beyond the door. She could picture him putting on a nice suit and tying up a tie. She had never seen him in formal attire other than his blues and she already knew how nicely he filled those out. It made her wish she could be the one tying his tie. She wished they were both giving their opinions on clothes as they picked them out together as they got ready in the same room.

She huffed out a sigh of frustration. This trip was getting to her. She gave herself one last look in the mirror, pleased with how she looked, before walking to the door. She hesitated to open it, scared to potentially be walking in on Kaidan in the middle of getting dressed. She knocked lightly to make sure it was okay. It felt strange doing so. You don’t typically knock from the inside of a bathroom. Still, she’d rather do that than cause even more awkward situations between the two of them.

“It’s okay, you can come out, Jane,” she heard him say from the other side.

She walked out cautiously nonetheless, and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, already waiting for her for some time by the look of it. He stood up to greet her in a very gentleman-like manner and eyed her from head to toe, tastefully. It felt like he was doing it more out of curiosity and wonder at how different she looked, rather than revelling in her new appearance. She couldn’t help herself from doing the same, admiring how nice he looked in a suit. His blues made him look so distinguished, but his suit had the added nicety of this being casual. Like they were just enjoying their lives like ordinary people. Wishful thinking.

She lost focus with her eyes on his lapels, imagining that if things were different, she would have gone over there and grabbed him by them and gently pulled him into a soft kiss. She would have straightened out his tie, just for a chance to be closer to him for even a moment, because he’s done a perfect job of it all by himself. They would have smiled at each other, looking forward to a day full of celebration. She supposed there was no reason she couldn’t still do that last one. The thought of it finally let her notice that she was staring, lost in thought at what could have been, so she did just that and smiled at him.

“You clean up nicely,” she said.

He let out a chuckle. “You’re not so bad, yourself,” he said with a sincere smile.

“Thanks,” she muttered, with a forced smile. She was never good at accepting compliments. “So, did you get a chance to talk to Libby yesterday?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “You were right. She wasn’t mad, but I think she appreciated me apologising all the same. It was a good heart-to-heart, and I think it helped her feel better. It was good for us.”

“Sounds like it,” Shepard said with a genuine smile.

“She uh… She even asked me to walk her down the aisle. Well, me and mom. I wasn’t really expecting that. I love her, but we weren’t the closest, growing up. I wasn’t even sure she wanted anyone to do it. She said she had been questioning it for a long time, but she hadn’t even gotten the chance to ask dad. She didn’t want to be thinking about missed opportunities and lost chances the whole time she’s actually walking down the aisle. It meant a lot to me that she asked.”

Shepard offered a solemn smile, knowing that as lovely as that was, it was at the expense of Kaidan taking his father’s place. She was glad that he’d get to be doing that for her and that they had each other while trying to navigate this new life without him. She figured this must be very bittersweet for him, remembering their conversation the previous. This was just more of that void that Kaidan was now filling for the rest of his family, taking the place of someone else. Of course Kaidan would love having an offer like that and would do anything to make his sister feel loved on her wedding day, but she imagined this must have hurt him a bit too.

“That’s really sweet, Kaidan. How do you feel about it?”

“Uh, better than I thought I would, actually.” He said it with a kind of hesitance, knowing that those words meant he was finally addressing his grief which was a big step, but also with a genuine and soft smile. “I don’t know that I could have said that if you hadn’t been here,” he admitted quietly.

“Then I’m glad I came,” she said, matching his smile.

Kaidan nodded at that appreciatively. “But anyway, I think things will be getting under way soon. We should probably go down. I think Derek’s here now, so I can introduce you. He’s probably been waiting to meet you. We can mingle a bit before the ceremony starts and then I can show you where you can sit since I’ll have to come back here and wait with Libby.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Shepard said.

Kaidan nodded, prompting them to leave the room and make their way out to the orchard where guests had already started gathering. In lieu of a band, they had a drone at the back of the seating area playing soft music that reminded her of Glyph. A beautiful arch was set up right in front of the trees in the orchard, and the mountains were visible beyond them, creating a spectacular view for the guests. It was a lovely setup. Once again, Shepard marvelled at how perfect it all was. A fantastic view with sentimental meaning. She couldn’t think of a better place for them to be declaring their love for each other.

As they made their way through the crowd, a few people stopped Kaidan here and there. All of them said some variation of “Finally brought someone home, eh?” Or “There’s going to be a lot of disappointed people out on the dancefloor this evening.” It did nothing to quell her feelings of regret about the confusion. If she didn’t know any better, Kaidan even seemed a little phased by it. She knew he wasn’t about to be challenging anyone on their misconceptions today, though. He didn’t want to add drama or make today about him, so he just smiled and nodded before moving on to other people, but she couldn’t help but notice a solemness about him now that wasn’t there before.

Finally, they got up closer to the seating area and a man in a tuxedo excitedly came up to them.

“Hey, Derek,” Kaidan said, shaking the man’s hand. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Oh, hey, same to you,” he said enthusiastically, pulling Kaidan in for a hug.

As Kaidan and Derek relinquished their hold, Shepard gave Derek a smile, happy to finally meet the man of the hour.

“Hi, Derek. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Shepard said, offering her hand to shake with a genuine smile.

Derek had already given her a quick examination as he was walking over, but he seemed to be a bit starstruck as she spoke to him. He was staring at her wide-eyed, and mouth slightly agape.

“Pleasure to finally meet me? Are you kidding? Pleasure to meet you, Commander,” he said, giving a salute, prompting Shepard to take her hand back, and look around the crowd. Luckily no one really seemed to notice or think much of it.

“Hey, you might want to keep your voice down there, Derek. We’re kind of trying to keep her identity under wraps so there isn’t pandemonium during your wedding,” Kaidan said.

“Right, right,” he muttered out, and ended the salute without a return from Shepard. “Libby warned me and everything. I don’t know what came over me. I mean, Commander Shepard,” he said her name and title in a whisper this time, “here. At my wedding. I can just hardly believe it, you know? You were on the recruitment posters when I finally ended up joining the Alliance. We heard about you all the time throughout the war. About everything you were doing for us.”

Shepard smiled at that, already well aware of the effects she had on people, not really blaming Derek for his reaction. “You know Kaidan was there, too. It’s not like I worked alone.”

“Oh yeah, of course. I guess I just think of Kaidan as family already, so it’s not quite as shocking. Sorry if I’m coming off too strong or anything, it’s just that you’re a bit larger than life. It’s hard to imagine that you’re really here.”

“It’s okay, I get it,” she said, compassionately enough, understanding that he was thrown for a loop and probably already nervous for the day’s events. “But hey, seriously, feel free to call me Jane from now on unless I end up seeing you in some kind of official capacity at work. While we’re here, though, don’t think of me as a superior officer or anything.”

“Right, yeah,” he said nodding, almost apologetically. “Well, it’s nice to get to know the real you,” he said, extending his hand for a slightly more personal greeting after finally calming down.

“You too,” she said with a smile, accepting his hand to shake it. “And congratulations, Derek.”

“Thanks. That really means a lot to me,” he said with a smile. “And hey! Maybe I’ll be getting to call you family soon too, eh?” he said, elbowing Kaidan with a devilish grin. “Wouldn’t that be something?”

It seems as though Libby probably bought into the misunderstanding now too, if Derek’s reaction was anything to go by. Perfect. They both just smiled at him without saying anything on the matter.

“But anyway, the ceremony should start soon, and there are other people I want to greet before that. I’m so glad you could both make it,” he said, genuinely beaming as he left to go talk to other people.

Kaidan smirked and let out a ‘hrmph,’ which made Shepard look at him. “He’s a great guy, but a little overexcitable.”

Shepard nodded kindly, not judging him for it. “Nothing wrong with a little enthusiasm,” she said with a faint curve to her lips. “Not a quality that a lot of soldiers have anymore. I’m glad that’s not something that was taken away from him throughout the war. I hope he never loses it.”

Kaidan nodded, understanding the sentiment well. “Yeah, me too. He’s a good guy. He really loves Libby. I think he’s good for her too. She’s too serious.”

“Too serious?” Shepard said coyly, with an entertained smile, noticing a general similarity between most of the Alenkos. Maisie was perhaps the only exception she could see so far.

Kaidan looked at her and let out a chuckle. “Yeah, yeah. I know I can be serious too, but we’re not talking about me here,” he said with a smile. “I think he lightens her up a bit, and I think that’s exactly what she needs. Not that I’m criticising her now or anything, it’s just that I think Derek provides something for her that she’s been missing all her life. The way they look when they’re together,” Kaidan said, shaking his head fondly. “I’ve never seen her so happy. Like all of her burdens have been lifted off of her shoulders or something.”

Shepard looked somewhat dejectedly towards the ground, knowing precisely the feeling that he was referring to, because there was a time that Kaidan had provided exactly that for her. Not even just on the SR-1 when they were actually together, but also during the Reaper War, too. Even though they weren’t together then, he still provided that for her. He was good at making her feel less alone, having someone else to confide in who understood the things she was dealing with. It was one of the things she really missed about just being around him.

“Yeah,” she huffed out. “It’s not easy to find something like that,” she said quietly.

“No. It’s not,” he said. Shepard couldn’t help but hear a hint of sadness behind his words. She didn’t have it in her to look at him for any kind of confirmation.

Before they knew it, Derek came bouncing back through the crowd and tapped Kaidan on the shoulder. “All right, it’s almost showtime!” he said, with one of the widest grins Shepard had ever seen.

“You ready for this?” Kaidan asked.

“I can’t wait,” he said genuinely. His joy was palpable, bringing Kaidan in for another hug.

“Welcome to the family, Derek.”

“Well, she hasn’t said yes yet,” Derek said, releasing them both from the hug, still with a massive grin on his face.

“She will,” Kaidan said with a smile.

“I know. Thanks, man,” he said before he walked down the aisle with his parents who gave him their own hug before taking his place by the altar.

The officiant announced everyone to take their seats as the ceremony was about to begin.

“I guess that’s my cue to go back to the house for Libby. You can take any seat in the front row,” he said, pointing to Libby’s side of the seating arrangements.

“Okay,” she said with a nod. “See you in a minute, then.”

He nodded at her and turned to walk back to the house. Shepard stood there awkwardly, not entirely sure what she was feeling. She didn’t like the sight of him walking away. She knew she was being dramatic. All he was doing was going to get Libby, but the more time went on, she realised the closer she was getting to actually saying goodbye to him. Maybe it wasn’t the worst thing. It’s practically what she kept telling herself she wanted after all. But it hurt. The reality of him potentially not being in her life anymore was starting to sink in, and she didn’t like the feeling. Not wanting to be awkward about standing in the aisle, she finally turned to take a seat, making sure to leave space for Kaidan and his mother.

After everyone settled, the drone began playing the wedding march. The bridesmaids and groomsmen started coming out. First, she noticed a couple of Libby’s friends that she hadn’t had the chance to meet, followed by Maisie and Raiya. Shepard offered each of them a smile, happy to be able to watch the celebration, even with her own sad and confused feelings muddying how she felt on the inside.

Immediately after that, Libby started walking down the aisle, Ada on one side of her and Kaidan on the other, looking incredibly proud and happy. Kaidan and Ada both gave her a hug before they came to sit down next to Shepard.

Jane and Kaidan shared a glance and a smile with each other before they turned towards the ceremony.

It went by in a blur. Libby and Derek said their vows and made their commitment to each other, and Shepard was sad once again. Marriage had never necessarily been important to her, but the one person who had ever gotten her wondering whether she might be up in a place like that someday was Kaidan. The man sitting right beside her, yet somehow never felt more beyond her grasp, knowing she would be saying goodbye to him soon enough.

As they finished off with a kiss and were declared husband and wife, walking back down the aisle, it all felt very bittersweet to Shepard. She smiled and clapped, but it was all a farce.

Everything surrounding Kaidan was making it difficult for her to be in the moment and be happy for Libby. She couldn’t imagine Kaidan not being a part of her life in some capacity, but it was becoming too painful to contemplate going on like this anymore. Everything here just served as a reminder to what she couldn’t have.

There would be alcohol at the party. Maybe that would make her feel better. And if not, ‘it would all be over soon.’

#f!Shenko #f!Shepard/Kaidan Alenko #f!Shepard #kaidan alenko #Mass Effect #fanfiction #mass effect fanfiction #mini slow burn #friends to lovers #angst #my writing #my fic on tumblr

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taylorpixiedust · 4 years

Photo

The first meeting of Seto, a powerful deity of destruction in demigod form, and Sawyer, a man who will soon join Admintale, a mercenary group seeking to save the world. More writing and progress images below the cut. ~~~

Sawyer thanked the vendor for the food that he had gotten, and moved to one of the many benches that lined the market. He could do some thinking there, if he didn’t finish his pastries before he got there. With the speed that he was eating them, he just might do that.

In fact, before he even understood his decision, he had already finished his tray and discarded the paper tray in the bin that was available to him.

Now onto the real event. He walked towards the building that most interested him, since it had the name of a man he had met on it, and opened the door.

He saw an employee at the front desk sweeping behind the counter, and he looked up at Sawyer as he stepped into the room. Suddenly, he realized his mistake.

“Oh, crap. I’m sorry. You guys are closing. I’ll come back tomorrow,” he told them, but before he could walk back outside, the door slammed shut and locked itself, “What the hell?”

Out of the office in the right corner of the building, a cloaked man opened the door and smiled at Sawyer before he could even realize who it was. He took down his hood and showed a familiar mop of brown hair and a red bandanna keeping it in.

“Get in, loser,” Seto told him, chuckling with Sawyer as he followed the fortune teller’s instructions.

As Seto closed the door behind him, he looked around to look at the room and took in his surroundings, like the chair that sat before him, and the crystal ball that had been placed on the counter, likely for appearance rather than function. Seto himself had walked around the table and sat down in his office chair, which he soon dragged towards the table.

“Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable,” Seto requested, and Sawyer complied with what he had asked of him. He had some faith that he wouldn’t poison him or anything. The male before him placed his hands into his lap and smiled at him, and Sawyer returned the expression.

“How are you today?” he asked, to which Sawyer groaned.

“Not great. I’m trying to get used to being out and about, but being in the house my whole life doesn’t really help,” he replied, earning a nod from Seto, who used his legs to pull himself towards the table.

“Well, it’s a start,” Seto told him, “What brings you here? I already foresaw your appearance here, but I can’t sense your motive. I can only assume curiosity.” He nodded and shrugged.

“Basically. I wanted to see if this was anything like the ones at home, which are all just scams,” he informed Seto, who nodded and laughed quietly.

His solemn expression contrasted the chuckles that escaped him. For anybody else, it would have been spooky, but Sawyer knew how he was doing it quite well.

“Back before I inherited the place,” referring to the shop they were currently in, “it was a scam as well. My parents were robbing people of their money, in addition to lying to their faces. In fact, I’m the only reason that it’s still around today, as I’m actually able to sense the future. My first prediction was the day that my parents were murdered, and it came true even years after.” Sawyer’s eyes widened. He knew that feeling, but to know that he was right as a child was impressive.

“In any case, how about we get started?” He rolled up his sleeve to match Sawyer’s, and gave him a calm look.

“I’m going to need your hand.”

Sawyer seized up when he revealed this, and became reluctant to listen to his instruction.

“Do I have to?” he asked, slowly taking off his glove as he did so, and the man across from him nodded, as well as outstretching his left hand.

Fortunately, that was the hand that Sawyer had undressed, enabling him to give him his hand, but not before standing up to reach the male, who shut his eyes to concentrate.

“Now, I’m going to need you to tell me your name.” Sawyer had already given him a cover name, which most people used to refer to him. His world had basically required that, so he stayed calm in knowing that he might not have to reveal his true name.

“Nevin Vaur-” Before he could finish, Seto pressed his thumb into Sawyer’s palm, making him stop in his sentence.

“I understand your concern, but there’s nothing to worry about here. I’m going to need you to tell me your actual name.”

“...Sawyer Wikstrom.” As soon as it was said, Seto began moving his thumb lightly across the cracks in his palm, still with his eyes closed. Then, suddenly, he nodded.

“You’re not truly human, are you? There isn’t a true block, but the life within you is different. More... mechanical, per se.” Sawyer gulped.

“I’m a construct,” he revealed, praying to whatever god would hear him that Seto wouldn’t pry. Instead, he simply nodded, and continued down a crack that didn’t even exist, weaving around the others like a river.

“Is your brother doing well?” Sawyer let out an affirmation, and Seto smiled, “Good. I was hoping that he hadn’t gotten assaulted yet, seeing your realm. It’s practically inevitable.”

“You got that right,” Sawyer informed him. Though, Seto then diverged onto a different part of his palm, following a curve, then suddenly dipping around another, and going towards his thumb.

“And Cerulean? How is he?” Sawyer smiled. He, too, had met Seto a few months prior on their first anniversary. It was a day they’d never forget.

“He’s doing well. His therapist is trying to move towards helping him with his fear of being touched.”

“I’m glad he’s doing well,” he told him, but quickly turned his expression back to neutral, “Do you believe him when he says that you saved his life?” Sawyer scratched his neck with his free hand.

“I like to believe that he saved his own. He’s a strong guy. Never one to give up on anything.”

“The day that you met was only two days before he had planned to commit suicide.” The shock that went up Sawyer’s spine was unfamiliar, but still able to be discerned as sudden epiphany. His eyes widened as Seto firmly pushed his thumb across the midsection of his palm.

He’s definitely not faking this.

Suddenly, he slowly opened his eyes, and looked up at Sawyer.

“Your life is held in the hands of Destiny. The path that you currently walk leads you to a long life, but be weary, for any sudden change of pace may be your end. Or it may take you to a more fulfilling life. Joy, pain, suffering, happiness, failure, triumph. Not only are they subjective, they are also immeasurable by simply a glance. You have a chance at anything, but there are events even I cannot foresee simply by looking into your heart.”

His grip loosened, but didn’t fully part with his appendage. Seto took a deep breath, and looked into his eyes.

“Would you like to go deeper?”

“Dude, I have so many questions.” Seto smiled.

“Ask away.”

“What names do you want? Like, I know some pe-” Seto cut him off.

“The ones they go by. Nevin, for you, is a cover name, not the name that you officially use. If a transgender person were to come in here, I would use their current name. A dead name is a dead name, and I won’t use it. My brother is an example of that. I wouldn’t use his dead name. I would use Ty or Idreiun. Don’t ask me how those two relate to each other. They just do.”

Sawyer just got over it and moved on.

“How do you figure this shit out?” Seto’s free hand made a playful wave movement.

“Magic.”

“Okay. That doesn’t help me with the rest of my questions. I’m ready to move on.” Seto nodded and closed his eyes along with taking a deep breath and placing his thumb on one of the internal gears in Sawyer’s hand, the main reason he wears gloves.

“You fear what is within you, but it may soon be to your benefit. Change may be inevitable, but that gives you no reason to completely rework who you are as your creators sought to.” Thankfully, he didn’t mention the perpetual motion of the rotations, and released the clockwork piece.

“I would prefer if you closed your eyes. I understand that you want to see your surroundings out of perceived necessity, but you may not like what you find.” Sawyer chuckled a little bit.

“I’m an assassin. A murderer. I’ve seen my fair share of scary things. Try me.”

Seto’s sigh was audible as he mumbled, “if you say so...”

An inky black mass drove its way up the back of Seto’s neck, and curled around the base of his jaw before dividing into seven points towards his face, mostly his eyes, which had closed. This alone hadn’t shocked Sawyer much, as Death had also done this before, but when Seto roughly tapped the floor of his own office, he could hear glass crack.

“What was that?”

Suddenly, he saw it.

Reality itself was breaking apart into shards upon shards of glass floating in a light pink void, taking pieces of his office with it. He had hardly noticed that the entire floor had similarly broken apart.

Meanwhile, the employee at the front desk took a long sip of his iced coffee, knowing that this happens at least twice a week.

“Seto, what the Hell is happening?” Sawyer asked, desperately trying to get his attention as a similarly dark pair of wings began growing out of his back, sprouting from the ink.

Sawyer glanced at the walls, which were also beginning to shatter, and began shaking. He looked at the flickering light, fearing the worst, and then back at Seto, who had darkness writhing around his features.

“Seto?”

The male suddenly opened his eyes forcefully, suddenly consuming the remaining parts of the office, causing the table and crystal ball to disappear completely, and soon doing the same to the other objects in the area. Unfortunately, Sawyer found himself terrified by everything around him, including the morphing of his nails into venom-tipped claws, and his eyes completely changing. The whites of them had turned black, with his irises turning purple and pupils becoming a void of burgundy.

Soon, however, he fell to the ground, no longer holding Seto’s hand, and stared at the male in fear.

“I warned you.”

“You did,” Sawyer laughed to counteract the paralyzing fear that had overcome him, but he found his arm being lifted by something fluffy.

He looked down to see a gray wolf nuzzling its way under his arm, and pressed its nose into his chest. Sawyer scratched the wolf behind its ears, slowly adjusting to the environment, and watched as it followed Seto, who was walking away. He, too stood up and followed him, still afraid, but comforted by the wolf at his side.

“Come now.”

Sawyer trekked up to match Seto’s pace, and looked at his face’s ever-moving markings.

“So, why are we here? And where is here?” he asked, to which Seto outstretched his arm, causing a series of images to appear.

“Welcome to the Plane of Shattered Glass. Not very creatively named, but instrumental to our existence,” he began, “This was the place where the creators of the world grew, learned, and began creation with the discovery of fire. Through this place, people like myself convene with aspects of reality, For example, Death. Or, as some like to call him, Reaper. He uses this plane to come into realization of a person’s life to determine how judgement should be exacted. Delvon as well. He and his brother use it to find the roots of emotion within people, and edit them to a certain extent.”

Sawyer interjected with the statement, “I thought that was just an aura.” Seto quickly countered the statement.

“It is. However, it works through this plane by altering reality slightly. As for myself, it’s a more complicated situation. I don’t have time to explain the entirety of my purpose here. What I will say is that I use it to see not only the future, but the truth.” The entire time, images of various people using the plane to contact parts of reality to view, and two figures of opposite aspects creating the world that they exist in. Sawyer reached out to touch one of them, and it lit up with a white outline.

“Those two are Mother and Father, the ones that created us. Father is a being of law, order, water, animal life, the land we walk on, and judgement. In fact, he created the planes of the afterlife before he was exiled by his successors. Mother was the one to create fire, the air, humans, society, the arts, but is a being of chaos, battle, victory, vengeance, along with fate itself and stories. She escaped exile by moving into a different realm of existence altogether before she could be overthrown.” Sawyer looked at his hand, but soon looked at Seto.

“So, the sermons that the churches here hold are...?” he began, but was finished by Seto.

“Fabrications of the truth. The stories that they tell are true, but the purpose that they hold for them is twisted. They say belief alone will free Mother, but she isn’t trapped anywhere that we know of. I’d rather not speak of them. Let’s move on.” Seto walked away from the circle of pictures, which then disappeared, and moved towards what looked like the office.

“Wait, are we leaving now?” Seto laughed.

“No, this is simply for concentration purposes.” The wolf from before raced ahead and sat beside Sawyer’s chair, which was then occupied by its owner. Seto soon reflected his position, tapping the crystal ball briefly to ignite a series of colors and images, which were practically indiscernable.

“As I mentioned before, your current path leads you to a long life, but you will soon have a chance to change it forever. Soon, however, could still mean in a few years. Your life may lengthen, or it may shorten. It depends on your choices when you reach that fork in the road. Once you do, your tree will sprout and branch out with each and every decision.” He rubbed the surface of the ball to mirror his own face, and closed his eyes as more images flashed before them.

“Fear will not always be your friend. Your current understanding of the world will help you, but only to a certain extent. Every preparation in the world may be scorned, betrayed, in an instant. With one wrong move, your fear will allow grief, guilt, and anger to follow. Remember that you live with Death at your side. Be that as it may, it is a double-edged sword that could tear your life apart. Be wary, for the uncertainty of life is ever-present, and even you, as a mechanical being, cannot escape an eventual end.”

“Can’t you just tell me how I die so that I could avoid it?”

“No. Even if I could see your death. I see the beginning and middle of an ongoing story, not the end.”

“Point taken.”

“Regardless. People will change you and how you think, feel, and act around others. Sometimes, this is simply the truth, and others, it is how you react to your boundaries being broken. Stay wary of those who seek to harm you, but don’t keep your guard fully up. Allow some change to occur. It’s the only way to form bonds that truly matter.”

As he finished that sentence, the office came back into reality, with shards aligning themselves to form the floor, and the objects in the room returning.

“One with darkness and violence surrounding them, but a core as light as the grass that grows will enter your life at a point of strife and fear. When they do, be cautious, for they are the one that will lead this world to victory. However, should they perish, you will cease to exist as well.”

With that, the darkness in their face and back disappeared, along with the wolf, and the claws at the ends of his hands.

“That will be all.” Sawyer looked around.

“How do I pay you.”

“Normally, I’d say at the front desk, but this one’s on me.”

Now with new knowledge and a reasonable amount of fear of the man he had somehow spent half an hour talking to, Sawyer gave his goodbyes and walked out of the shop, which was way past closing times.

Years later, as he stared down the barrel of his pistol, he remembered what had been said, and allowed himself to be prevented from shooting the one whose family had ruined many lives. Penelope Hutson was safe. For how long was a different question.

~~~

Progress images:

as you can see this was hell

#traditional drawing #traditional art #Project Univi #Seto Emersyn #Sawyer Wikstrom #Admintale #my art #long read #this was hard to draw #it was fun though #writing #layered #cutout #artists on tumblr #layered art #tw suicice #tw gun mention #colored pencil

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trade-baby-blues · 5 years

Text

Sweet Savannah Sunshine

Pairing: James Flint x Thomas Hamilton

Word Count: 1593

Warnings: angst, mentions of past homophobia, more angst, one (1) single swear word

Flint couldn’t remember ever being this nervous. Not upon reaching Skeleton Island nor upon tying himself to the helm during a tempest. On both occasions, the worst outcome had been death, but which was the worst outcome here? That he would end up in Savannah to work and die alone as James Flint? Or that Thomas would be waiting for him and he would have to remember how to be James McGraw?

Thomas. Flint would have to get used to saying it aloud again. He’d treated the name as a sacrament for so long it felt heavy on his tongue. It struck him, then, that there was only one person left alive, aside from Flint himself, who knew Thomas’s name and story. Even that felt like too much, as if the more his name was spoken the more pieces of Thomas would disappear from Flint’s memory.

Would he even recognize him anymore? It had been a decade since he’d last seen Thomas. Perhaps he’d finally grown his hair out after all his griping about wigs. James could imagine it, soft as it had been, tumbling over Thomas’s shoulders in golden waves. His fingers twitched as he imagined running his hands through it, imagined it brushing his own shoulders as Thomas leaned to kiss him.

Would he taste the same? Would he feel the same? Or would his body be marked by ropes of muscle that came from years of labor? Would his skin be pale as it was in the London fog, or would it be tanned from the Georgia sun? Would he recognize Thomas? Would Thomas recognize him?

A bolt of panic shot through Flint’s spine. Ten years he’d spent memorizing Thomas’s face, sketching it on any available surface. He’d committed himself to that face, but had Thomas done the same? Or had his miserable shit of a father told him that James had left without looking back? Another jolt of panic. James’ heart roared louder than the ocean around him. What if Thomas hated him for leaving? What if he rejected him now, after all he’d done to get where he was? Because of it?

James could hardly breathe as he shut himself in the captain’s cabin, locking the door and sliding down it as he focused on the bite of the wood in his back instead of his own gasping lungs. Suddenly, he was a boy again, clinging to his mother’s skirts as a British officer explained that there was an accident at sea and his father would not be returning. It was the first chapter in a story defined by tragedy.

How he could feel so keenly the loss of something he did not yet have, James didn’t know. And yet the mere thought of Thomas dismissing him made his blood turn to ice. He buried the thought in the same corner of his mind that James kept the rest of his darkness, focusing instead on the wood beneath his palms and the gentle sway of the ship on the water. It reminded him that he was still James Flint, and James Flint didn’t have time to lose himself in emotion. The only context in which James Flint knew fear was the look in his enemies’ eyes before he slew them.

Flint dragged himself off the floor, resigning himself to solemn silence for the remainder of the journey. Silver would interpret his silence as acceptance rather than what it actually was: a feeble attempt by a desperate man to hang onto the last shreds of his composure.

The nervousness Flint had felt on the ship paled in comparison to the fear that claimed him the second his boots hit sand at port. He had half a mind to turn tail and run back onto the ship, to demand Silver take him back to the Maroon camp with the tone of voice he knew even Silver couldn’t deny. Yet, the other half of his mind urged him forward. Urged him onward. Even now, on the heels of peace, Flint couldn’t stop tearing himself apart at the seams. Perhaps Miranda had been right all those years ago. Maybe he did need someone to fight, be it Rogers or Silver or himself.

A hand guided him forward. Gunn’s hand. James had hardly taken the time to get to know him, assuming that one or the other of them would have died at the camp or the ensuing battle or any of the other myriad of ways Woodes Rogers would have seen them all killed. He thought idly about getting to know him now, asking Gunn his favorite color or if his mother read to him as a child, if only to quiet his own mind, but James’ tongue was too leaden to croak out the words. He hardly even felt the bite of irons around his wrist, too distracted he was by the ghost of irons around his ankles, weighing down every step that brought him closer to the end of his own story.

James hadn’t even noticed Gunn handing him off - had only noticed a difference when the sun was on his face again and a rougher hand grabbed his arm to push him forward. The man smelled of sweat and tobacco - two familiar scents. But he also smelled of grass and flowers, a scent both foreign and comforting. It was so different than the sea.

James took another deep breath as he was walked towards a field. The smell of freshly tilled earth greeted him, bringing his mind around to thoughts of Odysseus and his shovel. He wondered how much farther inland he would have to walk to forget about the sea.

As it turned out, James had only to walk another foot before everything else fell away from him - his name, his past, his story - because there before him stood a form more familiar to him than his own. The same cropped blond hair he could feel between his fingers, the lithe neck that had surrendered under his lips and which now stretched down into an expanse of bare skin pulled taut over ropes of muscles that contracted and relaxed as Thomas worked the earth the same way he would have worked James’ body - worshipping it and reveling in it at once.

He stopped, then, as if he could feel James’ eyes on him. As he turned, every second of the last ten years fell away. He was an officer again, standing in the dining room having just thrown Alfred Hamilton out of his own house and Thomas - Christ, Thomas looked as eager now as he had in that moment, so full of hope and longing as he took the first step forward and showed James for the first time what love was meant to feel like.

He basked in that gaze now, drinking Thomas in without reservation. He looked every bit as regal as he had in London, only with an added sheen of sweat covering his skin. He looked like cut marble, as if James was looking upon David himself, though even the towering masterpiece seemed little more than a child’s sand sculpture in comparison to the soft planes of Thomas’s body.

James was well aware what he must look like: a man starved, hungry for the touch of Thomas’s skin against his. He could feel the tenuous grip on his own composure slipping as every step brought him closer until a familiar voice crept into his mind and froze him in place.

Hennessy’s voice, as clear as the day it had been when it forced James out of the Navy, out of his home, his life. James could hear Hennessy’s voice now as the words tightened around his neck like a noose. It is too profane. It is too loathsome. Silver had assured James that the plantation owners were aware of the true circumstances in which Thomas had come here, that they didn’t much care who he bedded, but James was unwilling to take that chance again, not when Thomas was so close - so close that the thought of losing him again might actually kill James on the spot.

Thomas still had not moved, studying James from afar. There was a look in his eye that James couldn’t place from this distance. He watched Thomas touch the skin where his wedding band had been. It was a nervous tick. Something he’d done only when he was worried, and James felt the realization like a gunshot: Thomas was just as scared as he was.

No sooner had the realization hit him than James was walking, running, flying forward. He was Icarus and Thomas was the sun. If the wax melted and he plummeted to the ground, there was nowhere James would rather land than Thomas’s arms, and land there he did as their chests crashed together like waves on the hull of the Walrus. Thomas’s arms pulled him close as James dragged his calloused hands against the bare skin of Thomas’s back.

And then Thomas’s lips were against his and James could think of nothing else but the slide of their bodies against each other. Nothing else held meaning but the taste of Thomas and the glow of his smile as he stared at James with enough love to chase away the chill of the sea that had wormed its way in James’ very bones. Heaven and hell were nothing more than words to James as he let go of the oars tying him to the sea and picked up the shovel to bury Flint for good.

A/N: Uuuuuuh sorry I’ve been MIA on this blog for like...months and then come back with a Black Sails fic of all things but I binged the entire show and it has consumed my life but I do promise to get back to regularly scheduled fics eventually lmao.

#black sails #flinthamilton #this is how the scene should have gone because Georgia is hot AF

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jonlovessansa · 6 years

Text

ON JON BENDING THE KNEE: THE BOAT SCENE

I already talked about it a bit here, but this is one of those moments in SEASON 7 that got me screaming joyfully, so I’d like to try to explain to you why.

It begins with a very meaningful parallel with Ned and Cersei: in S01E06 Ned wakes up injured in bed with Cersei’s face staring at him. This is the first time Ned meets her after he found out about Robert’s bastards, and we know that the secret TRUTH OF WHO IS JOFFREY’S REAL FATHER is hanging between them, her role as his antagonist sealed.

From now on every decision Ned takes will be the wrong one: Cersei tells him “IN THE GAME OF THRONES YOU WIN OR YOU DIE. THERE'S NO MIDDLE GROUND” but the MADNESS OF his MERCY gives her the upper hand to win; he refuses her advances and openly defies her, like a not POLITICALNED; he doesn’t listen to Renly who suggests the not honorable but efficient route and relies on Littlefinger, who he trusts; he doesn’t trust Sansa enough to tell her the TRUTH; he doesn’t at least PRETEND to bend the knee to Joffrey while he can, he waits till he’s forced to, his fate already determined and a public display required.

As you can see, Jon and Ned’s paths are very similar, only their decisions are the opposite: while Ned plays Ned and loses, Jon politically watches, learns and acts… and wins a ticket back home!

So, what happens on the boat? To be concise, Jon wakes up and says to Daenerys "I’M SORRY, I’M SO SORRY" and takes her hand, she gives her word to help with the NK and he calls her “DANY” and then “MY QUEEN”. It could seem an intimate moment between two people destined to come together and save the world… but of course there’s more, and the parallel we’ve been introduced with should be enough to anticipate it:

- “DANY”: this is not a term of endearment to her, so much so that she remembers that it was her not so loving brother who called her that, adding: "NOT THE COMPANY YOU WANT TO KEEP". This is a warning for us;

-“MY QUEEN”: Let’s not overlook the obvious, he doesn’t really call her that, he only asks “HOW ABOUT MY QUEEN?” It’s not the same. This is no pledge whatsoever;

- "I'D BEND THE KNEE BUT ...": to follow up on the previous point, Jon does not actually bend the knee! By now “EVERYTHING BEFORE THE WORD BUT IS HORSESHIT” has become such a mantra that we all understand how important that BUT is, and we can’t ignore either that his knee doesn’t bend especially after the numerous times we’ve been shown what a solemn moment that is, this season too with Sansa and Jon miniatures;

- “WE’RE GOING TO DESTROY THE KNIGHT KING AND HIS ARMY, WE’LL DO IT TOGETHER”: because she has already promised her help, some of you say this is the biggest clue that Jon is not lying, that he doesn't need to. But is it so? He saw how much she wants the IT, don’t you think there’s a possibility she said that just because she’s hurting for her loss? Jon said to Sansa “IF YOU HAD SEEN THE NK YOU’D THINK OF LITTLE ELSE”, Dany says “YOU HAVE TOO SEE IT TO KNOW”. So now she knows the danger. But if she does intend to go help the North why are they sailing to KL? It necessarily means that her help is still conditional on the ceasefire, right? So, let’s say that Cersei in the Pit refuses, what would happen next? Actually I think Jon has really no hope for the truce, how could he when Sansa talked to him about Cersei and he’s already observed Dany’s pride and volatility? It’s true, in this precise moment she isn’t asking him to bend the knee, but is she done expecting it? There are too many incognita to be sure of anything, so it makes sense that Jon decides to go with the clever plan: if he pretends only to bend the knee, with no witness, without actually swearing an oath, without physically bending, when she’s not asking, while she is emotionally distressed and he's stuck in bed, doesn’t he have a better chance to pull it off? If she believes he’s surrendered the North to her, which she’s being demanding forever, plus her feelings for him which he’s aware of by now, doesn’t he have more chances to keep her invested even if they will be “fucked” in the Pit? Maybe prevent her from DRACARYS OMNIA too? And look how touched she is. I’d say he nailed it one episode early…;

-“AND THOSE WHO SWORE ALLEGIANCE TO YOU?”: and we’re immediately reminded that there should be a swearing. But nobody SWORE here! And to twist the knife further, this happens only few minutes after Brienne says to Sansa “I SWORE AN OATH TO PROTECT YOU AND YOUR SISTER”. Still, no swearing on the boat… at least not an oath;

- “YOU DO”: both the actor and the director seem to point out that Jon is lying, not only because this moment is a nice remainder of Bran in the pilot, but because in cinematography this is how you film someone who has something to hide or who’s lying;

- “THEY’LL COME TO SEE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE”: it becomes almost ominous with the song “WHAT YOU ARE” as background music, and you find yourself wondering WHAT she is;

- THE HAND HOLDING: As much as it’s true that Jon is the first to take her hand, the point is not what he does (though it’s worth noting that when Sansa did this he couldn’t say no to her) but what she does, which is to let go of his hand only to take it back later. In storytelling this is a way to show a TRUST SHIFT: when she first takes her hand away it means she doesn’t feel comfortable, she still doesn’t trust him completely and wants to keep control. Remember that in the show, even more in the books, she’s been warned more than once not to trust people, “BECAUSE DRAGONS ARE FIRE MADE FLESH AND FIRE IS POWER”. But after “MY QUEEN” she is the one to hold his hand saying “TOGETHER”, and you realize she’s just gave in and let herself go. CHECK AND MATE!

- JON PRETENDS TO SLEEP: when he closes his eyes and she goes out, you cannot help but thinking about “THE COMPANY YOU WANT TO KEEP”;

- THE BREATHING: As soon as she is out, Jon breathes deeply, feeling the weight of what's just happened, and probably the guilt too. But he also looks upwards.

KH is very attentive to these little things, particularly this season (which is significant in itself, if you then read his interviews I’d say it’s all very transparent), which means he’s telling us something more, and I believe it’s the plainest: he’s thinking about Ned, probably asking forgiveness for not being honorable like he taught him. Jon is pretending to do something that de facto he doesn't do. He's very consciously misleading her, walking that fine line between what you say and what you mean. Clever, but not exactly honorable.

That’s it for the analysis, but let’s clutch at straws and say we're still not convinced... Well, I've saved my favorite part for the end, namely the reason for my screaming in the first place.

We need to look back at the previous scene between Arya and Sansa because D&D often handle consecutive scenes purposefully linking them to add meaning, and right here we have one of the best examples.

In Arya's room in search of the scroll, Sansa finds her faces and asks her about it. Arya says: “THERE WAS A GAME I USED TO PLAY. THE GAME OF FACES. IT’S SIMPLE. I ASK A QUESTION ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOU TRY TO MAKE A LIE SOUND LIKE THE TRUTH. IF YOU FOOL ME, YOU WIN. IF I CATCH A LIE, YOU LOSE. LET’S PLAY… ALL I NEED TO FIND OUT IS YOUR FACE”

Following shot:

BINGO!

Why should they give us a close-up on Jon’s face if not so we can ask ourselves what face he is wearing? Is he wearing one at all? Why would he wear one? Does he need to? But if Jon is not wearing any face, why should we wonder if he's wearing a face? Then why giving us this hint? Only to trick us? But if they only want to play tricksy with us, why didn’t they let us be oblivious to the trick without tying the two scenes?

BECAUSE JON IS WEARING NOT HIS TRUE FACE! That’s why!

JON WINS THE GAME OF FACES!

Thank you for listening!

#jonsa #political jon #jon snow #game of thrones #got7 #got #my meta #mine #TO MAKE A LIE SOUND LIKE THE TRUTH #SOUND LIKE THE TRUTH

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prismaticquartz · 5 years

Text

Bitter Terror faces the Terrorizer

Just a jsab story about Blixer meeting Pulse lol. Got inspired to write somethin thanks to a fella named @/qwertythepopstarian08!! Hope ya like!!

Also this probably isn’t cannon to just asks unless it happens on the blog itself.

Pulse sat alone in the field. He felt absolutely miserable, despite how tranquil the breeze was and how calm the setting was in general. His old tear marking visible on his face despite once being liberated from it. He didn’t deserve it.. not after the trouble he’d caused during the festival. He was scared when Zedd, Ty and Vinn had breached the library.. grabbed the askers trying to help him and even a moment away from hurting Squog. It boiled over... he would’ve been corrupted if his triangles hadn’t protected him.. didn’t do a damn bit of good for him in the end.. he still ruined everything. Pulse sighed heavily, his guilt crushing his spirit bit by bit.. suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a rattling sound. And footsteps? He turned to the sound only to recoil in fear. Blixer.. that damned shape who fucked over everything.. he wasn’t right, he wasn’t safe he was a menace. Pulse had to get away from him but he was too scared to move, so he didn’t, instead squeaking, “d-don’t come any cl..closer..” his eye widened.. his pupil flaring hot pink. Blixer sighed, his expression solemn as he loomed over the cowering cube. “M’not gonna hurtcha bud.. I saw ya out here lookin miserable n I just..” he hesitated, scratching the back of his head then adjusting his bandana. “I wanted tuh see’f you were ok er not.. thas all.. no trouble no nothin’.” Pulse glared daggers into Blixers eye. “Give me one reason I should trust you, you psychotic oaf..”. To say that Blixer really wanted to call him a poindexter was an understatement, he actually almost did but restrained himself, only smirking in amusement and snickering a bit. “W-what’s so funny?!” Pulse yelped defensively. “Snrk- Nah nah nothin nothin!! That was jus’ kinda funny iz all.. a-anyways I-I can’t really give ya a good reason tuh trust me right off the bat..” his voice went from playful to serious almost instantly. He sat down, a foot away from Pulse, trying to seem less intimidating being at eye level with him. “But I know I fucked ya up, actually I fucked alotta shapes up... I know that... but I wanna start somewhere y’know?? I wanna start ere.. so please..” he held out his hand, his glove covering the hold in his palm, almost like he was ashamed of it. “Would ya gimme a chance?” Pulse looked apprehensive and disgusted at Blixer, it was clear that it would take more than words to sway him. “Maybe, but what I saw.. what I felt, what you felt.. it’s fucking scarred me. It’s not at all normal to think like that, have those urges or feelings. So how the hell do you expect me to wanna forget all that and frolic around in a field of friendship- no.. I won’t.” He stood up, taking a few steps away from Blixer. “I’m sorry ok.. I’m fucking sorry, I have an idea as to what you went through and I can’t in my right mind say that what happened to you was good or right in any way.. but I’m not gonna get myself in harms way trying to fix you, maybe someone else will but not me.. I refuse to let myself get beaten up again.. now kindly... leave me alone.” He began to walk away.. Blixer recoiled a bit, he felt sick.. surely he knew this wouldn’t be easy.. but it still stung to his very core.. that familiar bitterness worsening.. his face reflecting said bitterness.

He was about to defend himself before Pulse spoke again.. his demeanor shifting into rage almost like he knew Blixer was gonna try to make a case for himself. “AND SO HELP ME SOPRANO I DARE YOU TO GUILT TRIP ME!!” He whipped around with rage in his face “I DARE YOU TO SAY IVE GOT IT ALL WRONG OR YOUR CHANGING I FUCKING CHALLENGE YOU!! BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT I SAW!! I KNOW WHAT I FELT!! YOUR A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH!! THATS THAT!!” Pulse sounds around again and stormed off with great speed, tears pouring out of his face. Blixer sat there gobsmacked.. Pulse was right... there was no defending himself, how the fuck did he expect it to go that easily when he practically traumatized him??? Blixer stood up with a sigh.. beginning to shamble back into his cave. “Tch.. prissy poindexter..” he uttered bitterly to himself. Fuck him.. he didn’t need him... he didn’t need any of paradise.. only the quartet.. they were enough..

Right?

Fin

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