#im sad that he and christian are no longer together even if they were a bit boring at first

[lovecatsys]

Bobby needs a consistent love interest I'm very serious about this.

[pastelwitchling]

Apparently this photo was taken during the last few weeks of filming season 3. So that means Christian was on set at the end of the season and probably all through the season. I mean it makes sense since Forrest does work for Deep Sky. Like on one hand im upset about it because I obviously want Malex together by the end of season 3 and no more roadblocks for them getting together. Plus Carina said Forrest would not be a long obstacle for Malex to reunite. I know it is hard to know when Carina is telling the truth tho. I did have my hopes that when Chris took over he would get rid of Forrest almost completely meaning by the first 5 episodes. Yet again I wouldn't mind Forrest sticking around as long as Malex get together and are happy and healthy and he doesn't interfere with them. I'm not to worried about Alex getting with Forrest again just because of the fact that Forrest did lie to Alex for a whole year. I mean he would be stupid to get with Forrest after finding out the truth. But also the fact that Alex is in Deep Sky he might date Forrest to keep up the act or possibly Alex will actually get sucked up into Deep Sky becoming evil and fall for Forrest and needs to be brought back to reality which is only something Michael can do which will inevitably lead to Malex getting back together because they are each other's cosmic loves, soulmates, and anchors..... And as Vlamis put it they are each other's person's! So IDK what to think..... I just hope Forrest isint a long term thing and a whole season seems pretty long term especially because we don't know how many seasons we will get... Plus David DeSantos who plays Eduardo Ramos is said to be in episode 4*01 which lets us know Deep Sky isint going anywhere for a while. I just hope this season doesn't leave us with a Deep Sky cliffhanger and/or a Malex cliffhanger or I will go crazy. And please no Michael's father cliffhanger where he has to make a choice to leave Earth and go back to his home planet or stay. Basically no huge cliffhangers at least nothing major to do with Michael, Alex and/or Malex.

🖤 Thoughts?! 🖤

Okay, a lot to go through here, and I will (though again, I'd really appreciate no speculations or rants about forlex or malex or anybody), but first I want to tell you that there must be something wrong in your settings because I don't see that I've gotten a message from you unless I'm on my computer. Just letting you know. I don't mind it so long as you don't mind the long time in between replies because I honestly just don't get notified for your messages at all.

Second, I love Forrest, and I love forlex. I hate that Forrest left at the very beginning, for while I do believe malex is endgame, and that I wanted them together midway to the end of the season, I was sad forlex had to end so early. So I'm honestly hoping Forrest is still around. Christian is -- as Vlamis put it -- such a gem, and words cannot express how happy seeing him makes me.

I am not the right person to complain to about Forrest being around, I promise you 😂 I don't know if it was the entire forlex merman and bonus story au that I created, the countless fics where Alex chooses Forrest, or my constant reblog of anything Forrest is in that gave you the impression I would be unhappy to have him around longer, but I assure you, I love him beyond words.

That said, we don't know anything about when anything was taken. Remember how we were all convinced Tyler wasn't in 3x02? It wasn't just because he wasn't listed, but because he'd gone back to LA too soon into filming. People were convinced he wasn't in the premiere, remember? So I wouldn't put much stock in when the fandom assumes a picture or video was posted.

And even if it was towards the end of the season, I'd be happy to have more Forrest. Him being there doesn't mean malex won't be together, and I personally am just enjoying the season too much so far to delve into the negativity of what might happen or not. I have faith.

[captainreecejames]

here is the first part to Win a Date with an English Premier League Player! - Winners are Released. 

author’s note: this is gonna be a short series, i’m not really sure how many parts its gonna be but I’m going to guess around five or six. as i’ve said before, this is a trope from win a date with tad hamilton, but it’s still my story. i’ve tried to make the reader (which is a female) as neutral as possible, with no physical description so that it fits everyone. If I haven’t done that and you spot something, please tell me and I’ll fix it!

warnings: definitely some language in here and the reader’s first relationship is unhealthy, so be wary of that

word count: 1.6k

part two

“What the hell is this?” Troy asked Y/N, shoving her phone in her face as she tried to get ready for their date.

“What the hell is what?” she asked back, not even trying to read the screen that was two inches from her face. 

“This voicemail!” Her blank look only irritated him more. “You’ve won a date with Christian Pulisic! When the fuck did you sign up for a date with that sad footballer?”

“I didn’t,” she answered plainly, going back to applying the mascara on her eyelashes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

As Y/N finished speaking, the flat door slammed closed and Erin, her best friend, announced her presence. “Babe! Where are you?”

“Bathroom!” Y/N called back, ignoring the look sent by her boyfriend.

“So I did something,” she started as she walked towards the couple. Y/N could tell her friend was guilty by the way her tone and she looked towards the door, waiting for her to appear. 

“Does it have anything to do with this voicemail that Y/N just received?” Troy looked down at her, a stern look in his eyes that Erin didn’t back away from.

“Hello Troy,” a drawl in her voice which Y/N recognized. Erin’s dislike for Troy began when Y/N started dating him and it only grew with every break up the two went through. “Didn’t know you’d be here.”

“It’s date night,” Y/N answered, a pointed look at her best friend. She mouthed an oops as Troy rolled his eyes, picking up his phone to answer a call. 

“Go for Troy,” he said walking away, Erin mocking him to Y/N’s face. She stifled a laugh, turning back to the mirror to inspect the makeup on her face, making sure there were no smudges. 

“So, does whatever you did happen to be related to this voicemail I have yet to listen to that claims I won a date with Christian Pulisic?”

“Maybe.”

“When did you even do that?” She walked towards her bedroom, grabbing her purse and coat laying on the bed.

“Like a month ago, you and Troy were on a ‘break’ that I definitely thought was going to last longer than it did.” She put air quotes around break, making Y/N roll her eyes again. “Wonder where I got that idea from.”

She was about to respond when Troy came in, tapping his foot expectantly. “Erin, I don’t really care why you did it, can you just cancel on them for me?”

“No!” she yelled, shocking the other two. “It doesn’t have to be a romantic date or anything, but you are going out with Christian Pulisic! How else am I ever going to get to meet Tammy Abraham?” Y?N rolled her eyes again, ushering Erin out of her flat with Troy behind her. 

“I don’t know, maybe you should have signed yourself up for that date thing and said Tammy?” she suggested as she locked the front door. 

“He wasn’t an option, and how many times have you said that Pulisic was beyond fit?” Erin gulped as she saw Troy tense, regretting her words as she looked between the two. 

“I’ll see you later, Erin.” With a terse smile, Y/N sent her best friend one more pointed look before ushering Troy down the stairs so they could start their date. 

><

“Ay, Christian!” Tammy called as he opened the door to his hotel room. “Who’s the lucky girl?” he asked with a teasing smirk on his face. 

“What girl?” Callum asked, sitting up on his bed to look at the American boy who laid upside down on his own bed. 

Christian groaned, sitting up so he could show the boys his new email. Fikayo smirked as he sat down, grabbing the phone in Christian’s outstretched hand to read the news. 

“Christian lost a bet two months ago on who could get the most crossbar hits, and he had to agree to be one of the premier league players that joined the ‘Win a date’ contest,” Tammy explained, smiling wide as Christian just shook his head. “Put a reminder in my phone for when the winners would be announced so I could come tease him about it.”

“Check her Instagram yet?” Mason asked from his spot on the desk. It seemed everyone was enjoying this but Christian. 

“I’m pulling it up right now,” Fikayo answered, copying the Instagram handle that was provided into the search bar, resulting in one page: y/ninstagram. Fikayo clicked on it, nodding as the pictures loaded. “She’s fit.”

Tammy grabbed the phone next, scrolling through with his own smirk. “Definitely your type, Captain America.”

Christian groaned at the nickname, watching as his phone was passed around his friends. “I don’t have a type.”

All four looked at him with a pointed look, making him blush from their stares. “Looks like she has a boyfriend though,” Callum added, brows furrowed as he looked at the pictures himself. 

Christian, also confused, grabbed his phone back. He couldn’t deny that she was very attractive, and if he had a type, which he didn’t, then she fit it really well. 

“Why’d she sign up if she had a boyfriend?” Mason asked, though no one had an answer from him. 

“Wait,” Christian interupted, “she dmed me.”

y/ninstagram : hey, idk if you’re even gonna see this cause you have like 3 million followers but i’m the girl who like “won a date” with you. My friend signed me up cause she thought it’d make me get over my ex but we actually got back together. I just don’t think i should be going on a date with a man im not in a relationship with. Anyway, i’m gonna contact the people in charge and tell them to pick a different person.

y/ninstagram : also, hope you get better soon so you can be back in blue!

><

Y/N had just reached the top of the steps when Erin opened her door, a sheepish look on her face. “How was your date?” Y/N sent her a scathing look, fiddling with the keys as she walked to her own door. “Are you ignoring me now?”

Still not answering, Y/N opened the door to her flat, though she wasn’t mad enough to lock Erin out. She held the door open for Erin to follow her in. “It was a nightmare,” she answered while shrugging her jacket off. “Thanks for that.”

Erin followed Y/N to the kitchen, sighing at her friend as she pulled open her fridge for the wine sitting in the door. “I’m sorry, I knew better than to say those things about Pulisic.”

“With Troy here!” Y/N cut her off, turning around with the wine in hand and a sad look in her eyes. 

Erin’s heart dropped, feeling even worse as tears welled in Y/N’s eyes. “What happened?” Erin walked to her, pulling her in for a hug.

“I messaged Christian, told him I couldn’t do the date and Troy stopped talking to me. It was so awkward. I feel like I’m being dramatic by crying right now, but I’m just tired of everything with him. Why can’t it be easy anymore?” Erin just hugged Y/N tighter, wishing that she could know how much better she deserved. 

y/ninstagram : hi christian pulisic!!! This is erin, Y/N’s best friend. I just wanted to let you know that even though she said she’s backing out of the date, she won’t actually be doing that. I will make her go on that date with you even if I have to drag her out of her apartment and to the restaurant myself. Anyway, i also hope you get better soon and tell tammy abraham that he is fine

><

“Have you messaged her back?” Mason asked the next morning, looking at Christian expectantly. The American boy only looked down at his phone. “It’s been a night, Christian, and I think that she can see that you read her message.”

“I don’t even know how to answer her,” he defended. “Besides, her friend messaged me too, and she said that Y/N was going to go on a date with me even if she dragged her to it.”

“Mate, sounds like this girl doesn’t even like you,” Mason teased.

Tammy came to Christian’s rescue. “That’s not true,” he interrupted, placing his tray on the table next to Chris. “I did some research, and she’s a definite Blue.” Tammy’s smile grew wider, turning into a teasing smirk directed at his friend. “And she’s a Pulisic fan as well.”

“How do you know this?”

“She’s got a saved Story from the Burnley game. Properly drunk during the game and bought a Pulisic jersey. Friends tease her about it in the comments still.” Christian only blushed at his friends comments, looking down at his phone to see another message. She had dmed him again.

y/ninstagram : i am so sorry about erin, she’s very overzealous and can be a lot to handle. Don’t feel pressured to do this date. And don’t feel pressured to tell tammy he’s fine, she’s just obsessed with him lol. Hope to see you out against arsenal.

y/ninstagram : also i can see that you have read those other messages just a fyi

“Ayyo,” Tammy exclaimed, pulling up from peering over Christian’s shoulder. “Her friend thinks I’m fine.” The two others rolled their eyes at him. “What was that friend's name?” He leaned back down, squinting to read the screen.

“What, you gonna stalk her too?” Mason asked, but seeing Tammy buried in his phone gave him the answer he needed.

[lovecolibri]

I have a few things I want to say about the season 3 premiere! 💜

1. I feel Alex is going to join Deep Sky and one of the reasons is to protect Michael.

2. I think Alex didn't go with Forrest because he didn't want to leave Michael.

3. I am mad that Malex didn't have an actual scene but im not really surprised because Carina wrote the episode with a few minor changes from Chris.

4. I love Alex and Kyle friendship and hope to see more of it!

5. Isobel, Max, Maria, Greg and Kyle all know that Michael and Alex want to be together and are endgame and yet they arent together yet! 😭

6. Can we even call that a Forlex break up if they weren't even exclusive?! And why weren't they exclusive?! Was it because Alex was on the road? I mean if it were Michael and Alex we know that even if one had to leave for a bit they would still be exclusive and wait for one another. I just don't know why they were together for a year but not exclusive?! Was it because Alex wants to really be with Michael and maybe Forrest knew it! I'm so confused?!

7. I know Christian was last on set around episode 3 so I honestly feel like Forlex is really over.

8. I did not believe Carina when she said that Forrest will not be a big or long obstacle for Malex! But after this episode it is clear that Forrest was bot going to be a big obstacle. Although Carina did say she didn't want to make Forrest evil but with him being apart of dark sky lile I thought he would be originally makes me think Chris changed that up when going over episode 1 and making rewrites and decided to make him evil or at least sketchy.

9. The fact that Forrest and Alex were never officially exclusive and a couple but Forrest was going after Alex and made him like him makes me feel like maybe he was using him thins whole time to recruit him into deep sky! 🖤

10. The fact Michael was so excited to see Alex and was heartbroken when he saw Alex with Forrest. Like I feel bad for Michael but what did he expect?! He literally walked out when Alex wanted to get back together. Like I feel bad but its kinda his fault.

11. Also to reiterate it pisses me off that Forlex have been together (kinda) for a year and Forrest barley tells Alex about big sky! Super sketchy!!!!!!!!!!

12. ALSO GREG AND MARIA! 🖤

ALSO WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL EPISODE 3 FOR MALEX FIRST INTERACTION?! 😭

1) I think Alex has lots of reasons but I think wanting to get a jump on anything that could put Michael in danger is absolutely on that list.

2) I think Alex didn't go because he wants to see what is up with Deep Sky, but also he felt betrayed and wasn't committed to working it out with him. Also, Michael.

3) Sad Malex wasn't on my screen for yet another week, but thrilled c*rina never gets to write another Malex scene

4) Give me ALL of the Kylex brotp!!

5) hopefully soon, and hopefully the people who know how they feel about each other will stop invalidating their importance to each other

6) I feel like Alex wasn't around and it seems like he left pretty quickly after the finale so he probably didn't want to start something serious with someone new that he doesn't know. If him and Michael are together for awhile and Alex has to leave again, I'm sure they would maintain their relationship but they have known each other and had something together for much longer.

7) We are still at least somewhat guessing on what episodes people are in, but it's entirely possible Forrest will make another appearance but I do think f*rlex is over.

8) I think c*rina always planned to drag f*rlex out because she already did it by not wrapping up that storyline in season 2 when it should have ended and I'm thrilled it's over now and we can all move forward and away from whatever she had planned. I don't know if Forrest will be evil or not, but I don't think he's going to be an obstacle for Malex anymore

9) Entirely possible (also what I think is happening with Heath/Liz) but I guess we'll find out!

10) I'm putting the blame for most of last season on c*rina's shoulders until proven otherwise and that includes the way Michael's story was handled last season. I did feel bad because Vlamis got me with the glassy eyes! But I'm hopeful we will get a really good scene of Alex and Michael talking things out to address some stuff from last season so they can move on and stop keeping score.

11) Well, to be fair, Alex is keeping secrets about the fact that Forrest's cousin didn't die in a car crash but was murdered so 🤷‍♀️ They barely know each other, given that Alex has been gone this whole time and they aren't even exclusively dating. I'm not surprised Forrest didn't say anything about that super shady group he works with that could probably disappear him if they thought he was saying things he shouldn't. But he told Alex when he thought there was a chance for them to get serious because he didn't want to be serious with that hanging over them, and also he knows they are recruiting Alex. He could still be sketchy, but he could not be and it would still fit with what we've seen.

12) you seem excited so that's all I'm going to say about that.

It's been 84 years! When will Malex come back from the war? 😭😭😭

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #60

“everything i touch turns to stone, so wrap your arms around me and leave me on my own.”

how're you feeling today?   okay.  i guess.  still plenty of time for the day to be ruined.  i just woke up a few minutes ago.  thank god i managed to sleep kinda easily last night, despite what was going on.  guess i was just that tired. have you ever lost a close friend?   yeah, i have, but not to death. what’s your sister(s) names?   katie, misty, ashley, nicole, and tiffany if you want to count her. when was the last time you cried?   last night. what is your favorite song?   first let it be clear that i have LOTS.  but i'm actually going to make an effort to list some here.  again, this certainly isn't all, but some include "hurt" by johnny cash, "here to stay" by korn, "nebel" by rammstein, "perfectly flawed" by otep, "lost it all" by black veil brides, and just... yeah, LOTS more. how do you wear your makeup?   i will once in a blue moon wear foundation, but usually not.  i'll always put on eyeliner and mascara, usually lipstick, then sometimes eye shadow, depending on whether or not i feel like taking it off later or not. do you have a job?   no, but my mom and i are going to drive around animal shelters today to see about volunteering.  since i quit school, i don't know about you, but i can't tolerate myself to sit at home with zero responsibilities.  i have to do something. do you work out every week?   no.  funny how i used to do it everyday. what kind of bathing suit do you wear?   i don't know what it's technically called, it's just a normal bathing suit that covers the belly and such? do you think you are pretty?   i honestly think i would be if i wasn't my size. what’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you?   the cutest?  probably that time i was lying in bed and i couldn't sleep, so i was iming jason on facebook and jokingly demanded him to sing to me, because i mean, obviously he couldn't really.  he ended up posting the lyrics/sending me a video to "the mortician's daughter" by black veil brides.  i smiled so big listening to that song; i ended up listening to it all night.  if you ask me, i'll always tell you that was "our song," and it fits us now more than ever.  i usually can't listen to it, but it's so dear to my heart that i sometimes fight the triggering and just listen to it regardless and remember what we had.  i've also decided that regardless of whether or not we get back together, i'm getting "i love you more than i can ever scream" (or possibly another lyric) tattooed somewhere on me, probably in a quote bubble or something.  i don't give half a shit if i ever end up with someone else, i will always love him and that song, and i dare my potential significant other to complain.  but hey, regardless of your musical taste, you should really listen to it, it's beautiful. do you consider dogs inside or outside pets?   both.  i don't believe in leaving them outside all alone forever, and i don't believe in cooping them up inside where their energy gets to be too much. do you read books for pleasure?   not so much anymore, really.  i just kinda... stopped one day.  i really think it's because of my hospitalization; i read like crazy to pass the time every time i was in the hospital, and i guess i just associate it.  it's a shame though, i used to love reading... wood floors or carpet?   in general, i prefer wood floors.  i love it when they look all glossy and they're easier to clean, i think. a teacher says she’s noticed you’ve looked sad, do you confide in her?   i probably would.  when people actually show interest in my wellbeing, i usually open up decently. if someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it?   if mom let me, yeah.  i go on and off between wanting my own kitten, so. are easter baskets only for kids?   absolutely not! do you like to daydream about sex?   i'll admit i've done it before, but i wouldn't say i "like" it. which of your parents do you laugh more with?   my dad have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral?   yes, for my former babysitter miss janet. after a date, do you call your friend to tell them how it went?   lmao i probably would, honestly. do you like romantic gestures or do they make you feel awkward?   FUCKING YES I LOVE ROMANTIC PEOPLE. have you/do you plan to go to college?   well, i just dropped out of college yesterday due to my deteriorating mental health, so... do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings?   omg, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!  especially irl, i am TERRIBLE.  like i am a highly figurative thinking and think of everything in kinda inexplainable ways, to where no words seem to fit.  i will struggle so much in a conversation to get out words exactly how i mean them, which is why i prefer to write, because i can think longer about what i'm saying. do you think all porn stars are whores?   i'm sorry to offend, but uh, yeah??  a whore is a prostitute, and a prostitute is someone who engages in sexual acts for monetary gain.  it's kinda... obvious...? would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now?   despite that only being two years younger, probs not.  i want someone older than me in hopes they'd be more mature.  sure, an 18-year-old could be perfectly mature, but i just believe the odds are better with someone slightly older. are you more likely to show affection through your words or your actions?   both really. be honest: are you clingy?   quite a bit. do you like to wear makeup?   i do.  it makes me feel prettier.  i just don't usually put it on. how old is the oldest person you’ve kissed?   he's 23. are you bipolar?   according to psychiatrists, yes.  but honestly, i don't really know for certain, considering i always feel an underlying depression?  like i'm aware one kind of bipolarity is more manic, the other more subtle, but i still don't know if i have it. have you ever seen the last person you kissed without their shirt on?   MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM BOI do you believe the last person you kissed still cares about you?   do i hope?  yeah.  do i believe he does?  no. do you like to cuddle?   if you're jason, yeah.  it's so funny.  i didn't even like hugs when we started dating, but he got me to wear i absolutely loved cuddling with him and i now love hugs. when you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over?   YUP.  if i really like it, anyway. do you prefer being called your actual name or a nick name?   brittany or just "britt" is fine. do you ever want to get married?   i do.  i'm christian, and marriage is perhaps the most beautiful thing in our faith.  i don't want children until i'm legally bound too, and i do want kids.  and i mean... i guess i'm still trying to be abstinent, so. are you wearing a necklace?   no.  i rarely wear necklaces. have your parents ever caught you drinking?   no.  i've never been drinking when i wasn't supposed to. ever been kissed under fireworks?   i have not. have you ever held hands with someone in a car?   jason usually let me hold his hand while he was driving, yeah. do you like the town you are living in?   *cackles maniacally* how did you get one of your scars?   from scratching my leg obsessively. would you ever get a tattoo/belly ring?   tattoos, fuck yeah, belly button piercing, only if i got much smaller.  i don't like how they look on people my size. have you ever hated a teacher?   no.  i've honestly never had a bad teacher because i actually knew how to behave. when is your birthday?   february 5th!!  coming up!! c: are you afraid of roller coasters?   YUP.  i'm terrified of throwing up. how often do you think about death, suicide or running away?   death/suicide, multiple times a week.  running away, never. have you ever had stitches? where?   in my chin, yes. do you enjoy chicken noodle soup?   nope. have you ever been on omegle?   no, because i'm honestly not fond of seeing random dicks. do/did you enjoy it when your school would have pep rallys?   NO.  i hated them so much that i always stayed in class with the teacher. have you ever been caught cheating on a test?   no, because i don't cheat on tests. do alligators scare you?   nah.  i mean if one was coming after me i'd obviously be fearful nor would i approach one, but in general, they don't scare me.  i rather think they're very cool.. are your parents proud of you?   i'm sure they're not.  i've done nothing to warrant pride. do you play just dance on the wii?   not anymore, but i would once in a while back when.  once, during my little sister's birthday, jason and i danced to a kiss song... and he beat me.  i'm still salty af. what are your initials?   bmd, or bmcd if you want my catholic name. did you ever want a pet rabbit?   not adamantly.  my sister had one once and she was veeeery messy. ashley didn't know the rabbit had died for a week. who was the last person that asked to hang out with you?   colleen if you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them?   ... i'd be a bad person to talk to about suicide.  nevertheless, i'd speak to them pretty wishfully, to be honest.  ex. "everything eventually gets better," bullshit like that that doesn't happen for everyone. have you ever felt so depressed that you were struggling to carry on?   oh, you mean the daily struggle? have you ever worn colored mascara?   no... but that'd be cool depending on what i was wearing! before facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like bebo or myspace?   myspace, yes.  i remember mine was entirely dedicated to meerkats lmao. has anyone ever asked you out and you turned them down?   yes. are you a secretive person?   online, not really.  real life, yeah. if you were going to buy a present for the person you love, what would you generally choose?   something oriented around "magic: the gathering."  or something with cthulu. ever gave a really long apology?   i have. have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?   i have.  call it crazy, but you ain't experienced heartbreak until you've felt it. where would you like to go on your honeymoon?   it'd be quite ideal if i could go to south africa for that so i could fulfill my dream of photographing the kmp meerkats, but i don't know how romantic that would be.  i'd want my future spouse's opinion here. would you ever cut all your hair off to raise money for charity?   all my hair?  no, honestly. do you eat the slice of lemons you get in drinks?   NONONONONO.  i will never forget that gmm episode where they talked about surprisingly filthy things and the lemons were one of them due to having relatively common contact with fecal bacteria from employees not washing their hands. do you like family get-togethers?   my family doesn't really have those because most of my family isn't in nc.  on the rare occasion some of the family's together, generally, no, i don't really enjoy them because half the family has shit to say about me. where does your (favorite) pet sleep at night?   in my old room.  i'd love for him to sleep with me, but he's old and has accidents. how many pillows do you actually use while sleeping (not just on your bed)?   three. do you prefer using regular or mechanical pencils?   mechanical. who in your family has the longest hair? how long is yours?   nicole or ashley, pretty sure nicole tho.  mine is mid-way between my shoulders and breasts. what do you hear now?   "fuck away the pain" by divide the day.  i really don't know why, but this song helps me feel better about shit sometimes...? what are all the areas of your body that you shave?   underarms, legs, trim a "certain area" when you go on webcam, who do you chat with the most? do you use any specific sites or programs?   i never use my webcam what books (if any) have you read more than once?   "because of winn-dixie" i read twice, and "meerkat manor: flower of the kalahari" i've probably read over 10 times lmao.  i skipped over clutton-brock's tangents in the later re-reads, though. what is your favorite card game?   "magic: the gathering" i assume.  i'm not big into card games. what is your most expensive piece of jewelry? if it was a gift, who got it for you?   that's a very good question.  i honestly couldn't tell you. what is your favorite video game to play by yourself?   i love replaying "silent hill 2" and experiencing it again, but the feeling will never be as raw as the first time.  i have to be in the "right" mood to play it though, or else it will REALLY depress me. you have to get a piercing, what do you get?   i want a vertical labret for my lip again. what are you wearing?   plaid pajama pants, cheshire cat tank top do you like the ocean?   i do, but it also scares me.  A LOT. would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?   honestly, i sleep better alone, but i'd prefer to be with someone. do you wear glasses?   always, unless i feel like taking a picture without them for whatever reason. do you wear contacts?   no, but i did years ago.  i was just bad with taking them in and out, so i got glasses instead. have you ever loved someone, but broke their heart?   i couldn't tell you.  he sure as fuck never acted like it.  despite being together for 3 1/2 years. have you had a bf/gf that you never kissed?   if you want to count my first two boyfriends, yeah, i never kissed either of 'em. would you be able to stand being in the same room as someone you hate?   no.  one of us would die that day. has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked?   it's happened before and i'm just like... why???  you're not the one dating him stfu. have you ever stayed up late talking to a bf/gf on the phone or online?   plenty of times. do you have any handshakes with anybody?   nah. what has been the stupidest reason someone has broken up with you?   i've only been broken up with once, and he might as well have said, "i'm sorry you're too sick for me after all this time so i'mma leave you to die peace bye" who do you care about more, your significant other or your best friend(s)?   i don't have a significant other, so i'm just going to say crush instead.  and honestly?  i care about him more, sorry. do you have any pictures of yourself with a bf/gf?   i still have every picture i've ever taken with jason.  hell, i still have our facebook album of pictures because i refuse to delete it. is there anyone you don’t like that always seems to be everywhere you are?   no. who in your life is your number one priority to make sure they’re happy?   i would say jason, but he's not really "in my life," so i don't... really know...?  i mean i guess colleen.  though i'm aware it should be me.  i just can't manage to care for myself like that. do you like making lists?   i'm neutral, honestly. do you play sports with your siblings?   nope. what color or design does your shower curtain have?   it's actually entirely blank. does it bother you when animals lick themselves?   no, they're just cleaning themselves.  my mom though, she cannot STAND the sound.  she'll yell at any of the dogs if they're doing it. could you ever give yourself a shot?   probs. do you wear a bra 24/7?   i only ever wear a bra if i'm going somewhere.  gotta let the ladies be free fam. have you ever worked as a cashier?   yes, and FUCK THAT a million ways over. do you know how to tap dance?   i know how to clog, and it's pretty much identical, just the shoes are different. what ethnicity is the last person you talked to?   white do you have any interests in psychology?   i find it extremely interesting, but i have no desire to learn more about it.  the brain is too dangerous. would you go out with someone right now if they asked?   only if you were jason. have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch?   i have indeed.  very close online friend. have you ever been to michigan?   when i was a baby, yes. would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body?   never in a million years.  i'd get matching tattoo or a couple tat, but NEVER his name. do you know anyone with asthma?   my mother and grandma. are you going to force your kids to be in activity or let them choose?   i would never force my child to do something they didn't want to do. do you watch toddlers and tiaras?   omg no, fuck that show and its concept.  i do not, even mildly, agree with pitting your child against another to decide who's more "beautiful."  jesus christ, do you WANT your child to grow up insecure as shit?  i personally know a number of children who have been in pageants, and guess what, they're snobby, materialistic little... ugh.  even if my child asked, i wouldn't allow them to be in a pageant.  just no. what was the last band t-shirt you bought?   good question. if someone asked you to go to war today, what would you say?   hell no, son.  i'm 1.) not patriotic enough and 2.) i'm a pacifist and 3.) i just have no desire. are you passionate?   holy fuck yes.  i honestly think it's my favorite trait about me personally. do you own an old vintage typewriter?   we did at one point, no idea where it went... do you hate how dogs bark every time someone comes to your house?   oh my GOD you ought to hear how our dogs are when someone comes home. have you ever been to sea world?   i have as a child; i still remember being splashed all to hell by shamu or whatever the whale's name was there.  now as an adult, i don't know if i'd go again... due to obvious controversy.  i don't know how i feel about it, honestly.  like i do believe it's very important for us to learn about animals, but to put a huge whale on display for our entertainment?  i dunno, man. do you know someone who suffers from short term memory loss?   it's very well possible i do.  i forget shit WAY too easily. are you a protective person?   oh boy, can i be.  i'm the type that would kill for those who deserve my protection. have you ever experienced an earthquake?   no.  i was two-three hours away when a very, very minor earthquake struck the east coast, though.  mom felt it at home. does your house have a dishwasher?   we do. do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo?   probably, idk. could you say something good about the last person you kissed?   he's very realistic. what exactly did you drink the last time you were intoxicated?   mike's hard and smirnoff what languages can you count to ten or higher in?   english, german, spanish do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people?   depends on the person. do you believe that the world will actually end?   i'm certain it will eventually. are you socially awkward?   always. are you satisfied with your gender?   i am, but even if i wasn't, what would i do about it? are you good at admitting your problems?   probably too good. who is your family doctor?   dr. emanuel has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality?   yep.  most recently when it seemed colleen's pastor thought we were a lesbian couple lmao do you ever floss?   i confess, no. are you an impatient person?   OH LORD YEAH are you a supporter of the war?   fuck no. has your cell phone ever rung in class?   no. speaking of which, what kind of phone do you have?   samsung galaxy do you sometimes think you aren’t as fortunate as others?   i'm perfectly aware i'm not as fortunate as most.  face it, not everyone is blessed equally. are you a paranoid person?   very. what would you say is your favorite type of flower?   tiger lilies would you consider yourself a clean person?   for the most part, yeah.  i don't like feeling dirty. do you have a hint of obsessive compulsive disorder?   not so much anymore.  i used to have repetitive thought cycles BADLY, but thank god i fought so hard to overcome that. how many trees surround your individual house?   loads.  we live in the woods. is halloween simply the greatest holiday ever?   if you can actually get into the spirit, absolutely.  haven't felt it for a long time, though... is pantera one of your favorite bands?   definitely not a fave, but i like some songs by them.  especially "walk." what color car would you definitely not want to own?   white.  gets dirty too easily. are you picky when it comes to music?   very much so. what's something you disagree with about the way you were raised?   my mom spanked us. has the opposite sex ever written you a poem?   yes, but i'm very suspicious it wasn't just for me.  juan was well-known to be a player.  he probably gave it to other girls. have you ever been a featured member on any website?   i have. who’s the last person you had a sleepover with?   chelsea

[trouseyfromthelou]

The Devil went down to the river...

Its been well over a year since ive written anything on here, and even more poetically its been longer still that a post dealt not with my faith, my ex, or music.  Well today, this deals with all of those. And none of them. 

Our world has taken not the dark turn we all were warned of, but a more dangerous turn towards sensationalism, anti-intellectualism, and culture that defines itself by its fears first and foremost. Its disgusting and completely appropriate of the grave ignorance and hubris shown by the country as a whole. 

If you cant tell by the title, which, frankly, is almost always a song lyric, ive come under the spell of The Dear Hunter. And my three greatest loves in music are progressivism, conceptual writing, and sound versatility. All three ive seen in depth in the few albums ive so far dove into. (As an aside, i try to spread out my discovery of new music. Take in 7 or 8 new albums from various artists and see what sticks most in my head, then proceed as my ears see fit.)

Anyway, my brain likes to ponder the deeper questions in life and society usually under the guiding tempo of music. And its that very mechanism that brings me to write again, Well, to write here again.  Its funny. Looking back, my girlfriend at the time, Miranda, suggested i start this blog as a way to clear my head. To grapple with the ups and downs on my psyche. What i suspect was the early indications that as an adult emotions were destined to get the best of me, and the least i could do was out word to virtual page. To fight the sadness and frustration by getting it all out of my system. 

(In turn, the blog ended up mostly being about our breakup, yo yo years post split, and my rebirth as a christian. And yet now i feel a 3rd use coming about in my mind. Time will tell i guess.)

Ive always struggled with finishing books. Reading doesnt sit well with the part of my brain that decides whether to stay awake or not. Regardless, im in the middle of reading two “books” currently and despite my inconsistency i greatly enjoy both of them. I say “Books” because one is a comic book. Preacher, to be exact. Im about halfway through the entire series. Its dark, twisted, vulgar, graphic, and i love it. 

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, the second book is “The Problem of Pain” by CS Lewis. A practical, Lewis-esque study of the theology behind pain, faith, and the godly experience of man. I started reading Lewis because he was such a large influence on Dustin Kensrue of Thrice, whom is both a lyrical and spiritual “idol” of mine, in as un-ironic a way as possible> Obviously i dont need reminding of the concept of idols as discussed in the bible. But i cant find a better word that i prefer, so idol it is. I wanted to dive into the mind of the man that so greatly impacted the man whose music and lyrics so greatly influence and define my personal theology. Which, admittedly sounds a tad blasphemous, but if need be i can give my long-winded explanation of the idea that god speaks through what we refer to as modern “art.” Still, a technicality i dont fully understand. Oh well. 

I bring up the books im reading, and the music im listening to not as a qualifier of a “cultured” life but instead as a gateway to the way im processing and reflecting on the current state of things in the many worlds in which i exist. (personal, workplace, scientific community, political, friend-circles, etc) 

My personal strategy is to keep up with the circus, all while full-heartedly leaning on my faith, my passion for my career, my love for friends and family, and my musical meditation. You cannot live in this stuff all the time, or you’ll look in the mirror one day and wont like what you see. Those i know who live and breath our political landscape at times seem soo jaded, soo fed-up and yet soo hopeless. It cant be good you the mind and heart. 

Ultimately i have no “one tip to rule them all.” No gold-plated, double-insured advice for how to deal with things. Hell i may change my own strategy in time, as i grow both in political belief but as a person. 

In addition, and i should probably have cleared this up earlier, but i cant guarantee these thoughts will at all seem connected. Im just riffing the thoughts out of my mind as they develop. And im a classic case of jumping from tangent to tangent for hours. 

The bottom line goal was just to get the thoughts out. Put words on the page lest they bounce around my brain long enough to put me in an asylum. And i sincerely hope that if anyone actually reads this, the least they get out of it is the reassurance that their feelings are real and true, and that im just as fond of being the ears to hear as i am the mouth to speak. Youre not alone. Were all in this together.  Aaron Eckhart’s Harvey Dent once said, The night is darkest just before the dawn. That and You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.  Neither of those really make sense in this posts context, but the sure as hell make his practically shoehorned in second Dark Knight villain seem very profound. That is before he started killing people based on coin flips. What a weird archetype. 

.trousdale.

“Do the heavens ever spare the crop when the winter falls? Could we really hide if the reaper calls?

[bforbookslut]

ARC Review: Jane of Austin by Hillary Manton Lodge

I received a copy of this book from the publisher via BloggingForBooks in exchange for an honest review. As this is an ARC copy, things that I discuss may vary and be different than in the published copy.

I have given this book ☆. 300-500 pages estimated as I read it in ebook format. It belongs to the Contemporary Romance genre. WaterBrook & Multnomah published it. I would not recommend it. The synopsis reads: “Just a few years after their father’s business scandal shatters their lives, Jane and Celia Woodward find themselves forced out of their San Francisco tea shop. The last thing Jane wants is to leave their beloved shop on Valencia Street, but when Celia insists on a move to Austin, Texas, the sisters pack up their kid sister Margot and Jane’s tea plants, determined to start over yet again.

But life in Austin isn’t all sweet tea and breakfast tacos. Their unusual living situation is challenging and unspoken words begin to fester between Jane and Celia. When Jane meets and falls for up-and-coming musician Sean Willis, the chasm grows deeper.

While Sean seems to charm everyone in his path, one person is immune – retired Marine Captain Callum Beckett. Callum never meant to leave the military, but the twin losses of his father and his left leg have returned him to the place he least expected—Texas.

In this modern spin on the Austen classic, Sense and Sensibility, the Woodward sisters must contend with new ingredients in unfamiliar kitchens, a dash of heartbreak, and the fragile hope that maybe home isn't so far away.”

Verdict:

I noped right out of there. Uninspiring and boring and annoying lead male. Sad though because Jane and her sisters are phenomenal characters.

In short, Jane of Austin, with its witty name, is a take on all things Jane Austen, featuring three sisters, reminiscent of Sense and Sensibility. The sisters run a tea shop but when their lovely landlord dearly departs, the sisters’ lives are turned upside down and they’re forced to leave their thriving hipster business because they can’t afford the rent and forced to move to Austin where they stay in a relative’s house, for free. Eldest sister, Celia, is dumped by her boyfriend before they leave town. While the middle sister and apparently, the most vibrant of the three (mostly because she’s a caustic and a little eclectic), Jane falls in love with wannabe singer whatshisface. But of course, whatshisface is not the hero here. But instead, moody and grumpy Callum is.

But I can’t really tell you what happens next because Jane of Austin is a DNF.

Jane of Austin starts off phenomenally well and I’m sucked into the story of the three sisters even though Margot is barely a person. She’s just mentioned once or twice and seems incredibly bratty. But then, Callum is introduced and he’s the most toxic and uninspiring lead male ever.

Be ready for a rant.

[contains spoilers]

Jane of Austin starts off like one of my favourite Lifetime movies, Scents and Sensibility. Their father is a corporate crook and the sisters set out on their own, building their own lives. And I love stories about sisterhood because I myself have a sister and much of my life surrounds our relationship. Because if you can’t count on family, who can you count on? Jane dropped out of school to look after Margot because their dad is awful and Celia works her little butt off to make ends meet at their cute little tea store.

Now, sisterhood is a great premise and then throw in some boys? What could be better?

Wrong, because once men were introduced to the story, the whole shitstorm began. It became less about women’s fiction and more about, how much dick can I get? Oh, I can’t get dick? The dick left me.

A couple of pages in and Celia is already broken up with Teddy, her longtime, why-aren’t-they-married boyfriend. When she moves to Austin, she’s fucking moping around and being all shady and not talking to Jane and basically driving a wedge between them because she refuses to talk about her relationship with Teddy to her sister. Fine, my sister doesn’t really tell me about her relationships either but come on, Celia and Jane were always tight and told each other everything. Boy comes in and fucks shit up.

Now, waltzes in cowboy central. Sean Willis is as charming as they come and immediately, Jane falls head over heels for him. I sort of do as well because he’s hot, and there are minute sparks. But suddenly, they go from rescuing-me-from-the-storm to dating. There was no precursor; there was no witty repartee, no long drawn out, pretty conversations. No. She just fell for him. I felt absolutely no chemistry. It was such a painful-to-read relationship. But I digress, Sean is the “darkest before the dawn”. They breakup because Sean wants to pursue his music in Nashville. LIKE THAT’S SOMETHING TO MOPE ABOUT??????? We all want careers, honey. He isn’t going to put you and your vagina first. Were you going to put him and his dick over your tea shop? I didn’t think so. So, don’t complain.

See where Jane of Austin is going? There’s just a lot of men. Highly doubt they’d pass the Bechdel test. That’s not what Austen was about, mkay?

Fine, I can put up with all this shit.

If only the lead male that Jane is supposed to fall in love with, was spectacular and phenomenal. Let me list all the problems with Callum.

1. When Callum first meets Jane, this is what he had to say:

“She did remind me of Lila; there was no denying the resemblance. But there was something…extra…about Jane. Almost like high school Lila, but grown and in Technicolour. Was it a fair comparison? Probably not. Lila had made her decisions and suffered when the man she chose failed her.”

I absolutely hate when love interests says that he/she reminds them of an ex-lover that they lost. And Callum did lose Lila to someone else and he practically shames her for it. Like, looook, if you were with me, you’d be better off because iM pErFeCt. And high school Lila? The last time this little fucker knew his ex-girlfriend was fucking high school. Let’s take a quick reminder that Jane is no longer in high school and is 26.

2. Callum is fucking hung up on Lila. Apparently, Lila called his father’s partner looking for a job but now that Callum is back in town, Lila is missing and he can’t reach her. Maybe she doesn’t want to be found, bitch. But, he believes its his sworn duty to make sure she’s safe because why would she ask for a job if she was okay/???? So this little bitch hires a private detective to find Lila. Like he’s some kind of fucking knight in shining armour. HE HASN’T SEEN THIS WOMAN IN AGES REMIND YOU. OR HAD CONTACT WITH HER. Wtf.

But fine.

3. Now, here’s where it gets really creepy. Callum is always stalking Jane or watching her from afar like a fucking creep. Exhibit A:

“From my room upstairs, I could see the way she clutched his hand, the way her head tipped back in laughter”.

“Watching Jane, I could immediately tell that Lyndsay landed on her last nerve. But as I watched Jane’s gaze flit from Celia to Lyndsay, her brows pressing together with that Jane-like intensity, I knew the sight of trouble brewing.”

THAT MUCH DETAIL??????? Because he stalks her and watches her constantly.

4. He uses the word possession to talk about Jane.

“But she wasn’t mine. She wouldn’t be.”

“Unless she was laughing with Sean. When that happened, I felt a little sick to my stomach.”

God, this was like the last straw. I wanted to throw up. I have a history of men subjugating and “possessing” women, cue family. And this just made my fucking skin crawl. And he talks about “claiming” here.

“Not a V-E Day kiss, not now, just a small claim on the corner of her lips that twisted with rueful amusement.”

5. He immediately girlfriend-zoned Jane. From the beginning, he thought she looked like his ex-lover and when his therapist asked him if he was interested in Jane, he came up fucking blank. Like some school boy who’s never had a date.

“Are you interested in her?”

“She’s seeing someone else. It looks serious.”

He doesn’t even bother being her friend or trying to get to know her as a person. He’s just interested in her. Let me remind you that I don’t have many highlights of Jane and Callum talking because they don’t fucking talk. He could have listened to her, gained her trust instead of being her mother’s cousin’s creepy friend who stays with them. All he wanted to do is “make her yours” and Callum keeps getting frustrated that she’s with some hotshot good looking guy.

He just mopes around, lamenting about how she can’t see that he’s perfect for her and not Sean. He just wonders why she doesn’t see that he’s interested in her.

I stopped reading once all the possession and claiming talk started. It just made my skin crawl and I wanted to throw up. Let me remind you that this was more than 50% of the book. Jane and Callum have absolutely no chemistry, they barely talk, he’s like the creepy uncle who lives in the attic and he’s barely got any character.

Not to mention, Callum is differently abled and suffering from PTSD which is not the greatest subject topic to be dealing with in a ROMANCE novel. Especially one that is so poorly written.

In writing this review, I took a look at the publisher’s profile to look for approval preferences and lo and behold, this is what I found, “publishing encouraging, biblical, trusted, and thoughtful Christian books.” It’s no wonder there was barely any sex in it. Or chemistry. Unfortunately, I did not check it properly on BloggingForBooks.

Perhaps Jane of Austin would have appealed whole heartedly to the right crowd of people where they like being possessed by their boyfriends and have their lives revolve around the dick. But I certainly hated it and did not finish it. It’s even lucky to receive one star from me because I loved the sisterhood part of the book.

[thegoldandsugar-blog]

BABY DADDIES.

Sixty days since December, A lot has changed from the furthest i can remember, Yes, Like Amber, My new daughter with the town's celebrity plumber, ( Now that's not the funny part so don't crack it yet, infact no comedy is intended here at all!) Sons and daughters, Offsprings of reckless nights and flash considerations, Granted life by a guilty conscience brewed from the ten accords back in my youth when "the God's child" still lived in me. "Who's my father?" ✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ TONY. The Church Deacon, Well, It wasn't an angel that brought forth the request or message about your birth, A child concieved of a holy spirit - man, it was no Bible story, You are a memory that lives to haunt my past and blurred my future even as much as i try to shake it off, An eclipse that shadowed my faith in God and sucked up hope drowning it with everything i ever dreamt of, "Respect Your Elders And You Shall Live Long " That was the bible son, the holy book that bound the faith of every Christian but blinded my very eyes from predicting the patterns of mischief and lifelong trauma. Had i had the chance to relive it, I'll die in the morning, Before mama's call to take my deceased father's Bible to that soulless creature! I'm sorry son, sometimes i didn't kiss you goodnight just to have a good sleep without nightmares! ✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ JAMES. Officer Richard James, They called him thr the African-White Man, beloved of the blacks in South Africa ! Kind and gentle, Took the duty to serve to his heart and held it close by, That name's still a sale at the county police, Gave you the same to solidify the resemblance for some child support but i forgot, The police are law enforcers so somehow they're Supreme to the law. Saved me from a month in those stinking caves with ancient graphiti they dare call correction facilities, Are they the same which the budget allocated millions for their renovation last year? Who knows? Anyway, A good man i could say, He could wish the doctrines about police conduct and general codes of humanity will share the same thought, Let alone anticorruption units and his wife! It was just a poor lady hawking cheap goods in rich man's land and a 'gentleman' extended a hand to help, Don't you think so? Somewhere they must have told you about man-eat-man society, We're true worshipers in that religion son, Mother was dying from cancer and your elder brother was still a toddler. I had to. ✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ SARAH. Now you, What was your father's name again? What did he even look like apart from the stubborn self i see in you? He should be some crack dealer or hired security at a local club, one of those playing that loud bullshit making me sing your little sister back to sleep thousands of times each night! Im sure you've been to one with your uptown high-end living friends you worship at school, Dreaming about Hollywood nights living like Paris Hilton in the State Of An Empire, Defaulting in school fee payments because you believe the money i clean up filthy homes for is best buying you lipsticks than knowledge, I wish i could burst out a laugh but sympathy is overwhelming my dear, Oh, now am being too hard on you? The reason you can't post good grades even when I tire all day to buy you a Disney pencil pouch! Then suddenly i should feel touched and apologize to you, "Honey I'm Sorry "," So so..." A psychologist is out of grip for my pockets but a tip or two you should really consider, Your mother isn't a role model, neither is the hype! ✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ JIM! Dear son, How's school going? I know i missed the format up there but a letter is still one if the message goes through. Your mid-term report was delivered a week ago and the grades are still amazing though that's no call for reluctance. You can still be better. Just like your father. Let's say wasn't a good listener and composed as troubles have shaped me to be in these times, A man sat at the table in a corner and asked for a cold beer from a worn out bar maid working extra hours to feed her three kids back home with a neighbor, Two weeks before she was fired for refusing to go under the sheets with her boss, This one time out of a couple times he made her do it with a threat on losing the job she so needed to keep her load rolling down the plank. I think that was Sarah's father, Now i recall the face of that dreaded monster with that strong Arabian accent, Yes! That was him! Anyway, that man at the bar lived to shelter a stranger with three hungry children for two long months, Eating and crying on his left arm as his right struggled to finish his book, "The Pigs" He called it, Pigs who ate the whole lot of fresh food in the farm to the remains left for low lifes, Pigs which tarmacked our lives with lies and false promises weeks before elections so they could run their heavy flashy mortocardes, Purchased from German dealers with "National projects'" money, running on tonnes of fuel catered for by the "government" over pricing the same on citizens, The same pigs that sold numerous copies of your father's hardwork and never paid him a dime before imprisoning him for insulting the "state powers" because he sued them, And in all this, this woman right here wasn't anywhere close because she'd chosen to leave long before, His stories were boring, he'd done enough for them, he was too good for her, He had a graduated British accent from Oxford that she didn't like it (or understood it-its a dropout disease ) Too many blank reasons son. Just too many to run away back to the past where no golden days had been seen. Still an innocent man, To his last breath behind bars built by demons fighting truth and justice throughout the systems , To the depths where he lays awaiting apocalypse, Took great care of his son! To his last insurance policy. Enough of today's writing. Always stand by the right pillars through your eyes so the world won't crumble and drag you down with it, Prepare and care to ask before acting, Success has less room for mistakes, The timezones too might be corrupted, chase time with all your stamina. Stay safe son, Your Truly. ✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ Who else has a father question ? Young man! Please go play with the neighbor's children, It's a blessed society we live in, Loyal descendants of Adam and the woman*, Eve was once someone i called "mother" Long Long before Tony's father, When i was this little angel singing in the church, summoning the holy ghost to the dias with a voice Maya Angelou admired, 'You're Alpha and Omega...' and the angels seemed to fly yonder singing the praise with us, With brother John Nkubu, the ministry's most dignified deacon! He loved children! Mother's loved him, both for his great personality and PHYSIC! That was the type of my mother, The long praying holy women chosen by God through the lamb. The mother's that don't listen to their daughters' cries, neither believe a doctor's report on the same, Just because the author of this horror story is a director in their erotic movies and preacher of gospel he knows nothing of, It's called church people, Church! Go boy! Mama's stories are always sad. When you grow old you protect your little sister, She doesn't have to be a writer of such a story, People no longer read these anymore, Come on, all those fashion magazines with super model covers? All those comic books or alien superheroes and human bats? You'll even be crazier reading than listening to some new school jams about sex, drugs and money, What more moral lessons could you be asking for? Its a great world but the fact that some parts are tearing away doesn't mean that we throw away the cloth, The fabric still has some strength, You can sew it back together.