#im so bad at consuming new media but after half a year im almost done with the first season and. yippee yay woohoo weeeeee!!!!

[madfantasy]

I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping

[ladytauria]

First Meetings [1/?]

FFN | AO3

Summary: "Sounds to me like Chiro doesn't have a lotta friends. If I recall, they said that he keeps to himself. Doesn't sound like much of a life to me. I mean, if he's naturally introverted, then whatever." Otto swipes a hand through the air. "But I wanna make sure that he's not completely lonely. So… uh, can ya…?"

Jinmay laughs. "Of course, Otto. You don't even have to ask." She smiles at him. "You an' me… we'll be the best friends he's ever had.”

Otto beams.

Hi! I bring a new series, known as Carrington Industries. It's a Human AU that I'm having a lot of fun dabbling in, though not a lot has been written for it yet. It'll be kind of a post-as-I-write-it deal, so don't expect regular updates. (Sadly.) This first one deals with how everyone meets, and will probably be relatively short-but we'll see.

First Meetings

1. Otto Jinmay

"Just a few more adjustments…" Otto murmurs to the unresponsive android on his table. "And you'll be done."

The android is a round-face cherub of a girl; with soft pink hair pulled into white-tipped pigtails and long eyelashes brushing slightly flushed cheeks. A panel is open on her sternum, and Otto is wrist deep in circuitry, making a few fine-tunings before he could, at long last, awaken the creation he spent the last year on.

He wants to talk to her.

What would she be like? He left so many gaps in her personality programming, hoping to let her grow and develop on her own. He'd had to include a few things, of course—couldn't make her a completely blank slate, after all. But it had been just simple things. The basic rules of kindness, and compassion. A desire for friendship. And curiosity. Those things together would keep her, hopefully, from going rogue—and were good starting points for her to become.

Otto hums to himself.

The android had been built using parts recovered from Carrington Industries scrap heap. (The best find had been an android they'd thrown out. Poor thing had been an experimental prototype they'd made. It hadn't been able to differentiate friend from foe, or so the box it was in had said. Otto had salvaged quite a few parts from that, though he'd left the memory chip alone.) Jinmay, he calls her. A mash-up of Jenny and May, since he couldn't decide between the two.

He makes the final adjustment and carefully seals the panel. He pushes an arm under her shoulders and hefts her up. She's light, for a machine. He opens the panel in her back. He pushes the megawatt battery he'd salvaged from the faulty android into her back, and then flicks the switch. He seals the panel again, and carefully lays her down.

It will take some time for Jinmay's processors to finish booting up—initial start-up is always one of the hardest.

—

Booting.

Start up program: initialized.

Code rolls across her vision.

Uploading files.

Awareness. Her thoughts begin to come in words, instead of shaped in numbers and symbols. The numbers lurk at the edge of her awareness. She can feel them; making up the innermost parts of her consciousness. Her mind extends beyond its confines. She feels her fingers. Moves them experimentally. Wiggles her toes. Scrunches her nose.

Smells assault her senses. She searches her memory drives, and finds nothing to compare them to. She opens her eyes.

For a moment, all she can see was white. Her optics—her eyes—adjust to the brightness. Things take shape. The light fixture, capped in a circular dome. The square panels of the ceiling. She pushes herself into a sitting position.

"Hello, there."

She looks toward the voice.

A male. How many years has he seen? She has no comparison.

His skin is brown. His hair darker brown, and curled. His eyes are bright, vibrant green. He smiles at her; exposing shiny teeth. "My name is Otto," he says. "And your name is Jinmay."

Jinmay. She twirls the name through her thoughts, and decides she liked it.

"I built you. You're an android. You an' me? We're gonna be friends."

Jinmay—yes, yes, that's a good name—smiles. "I think I'd like that."

That was six years ago.

—

As Otto had promised, the two had become very good friends. Otto had been fourteen at the time—not part of any registered engineering group. His parents had taken his creation in stride; treating Jinmay just as they would any of Otto's other, human, friends. (Despite his personable attitude, Otto had few that he was close to.) It had been awkward, at first. Jinmay was… well. A robot. In every sense of the word.

But as time passed, she began to learn.

It began with clumsy emulation. Copying Otto's mannerisms, his speech patterns. He exposed her to television. Jinmay consumed all sorts of media. Horror. Comedy. Romance. Action. Adventure. Documentaries. Kids' films. News. Cooking. She watched them all raptly; sitting cross-legged with wide eyes. She developed preferences.

His mother liked plying her with new foods. Jinmay was the only person in the house she could rely on for accurate feedback. Her husband and son just smiled and told her it was good, even if it tasted terribly. Jinmay had no such qualms.

And then Otto began to take her out in public.

That was when everything changed.

Carrington Industries got word that a fifteen-year-old boy had managed to create a walking, talking android. Nothing like the droids they had built; this one had a tried and true personality. Their scientists and engineers went bonkers. They showed up at his home one afternoon with thousands of questions.

And then, they offered him a job.

They didn't ask him to recreate Jinmay. Which was good, because Otto wouldn't have done it. Jinmay was unique; one-of-a-kind.

Otto expected commissions. He got them, on occasion. But mostly? They paid him a stipend, which would contain bonuses when he brought them new inventions to sell. And Otto delivered.

Access to state of the art equipment; great minds; and almost limitless funding…

He flourished. By the age of 20, Otto was one of the richest inhabitants of Shuggazoom City…

Not that you would know that by looking at his apartment.

—

Jinmay cringes as she gingerly lifts a sock from the floor. "Otto."

"What?" Otto stumbles out of his room; hastily tugging a pair of pants over striped boxers.

"I told you to quit leaving your stinky socks all over the apartment!" she fumes.

"Oh, c'mon, Jin. They're not that bad," Otto says with a winning smile, taking the sock from her and lifting it to his nose. His eyes went cross-eyed. "Eugh. On second thought…"

Jinmay rolls her eyes. "At least you stopped leaving your underwear everywhere." She wrinkles her nose.

Otto laughs sheepishly, tossing the sock in the laundry room. "Heh, yeah..." He walks into the kitchen and grabs a cereal box. "Oh, hey. Somethin' I wanna talk to you about."

"What's up?" Jinmay seats herself on the counter and folds her hands primly in her lap. She watches him pour cereal in a bowl.

"You're familiar with Clayton Carrington, right?"

"Founder of Carrington Industries. One of the brightest and most brilliant men of our age. Had a silent partner no one's been able to uncover the identity of. Disappeared in mysterious circumstances, and was declared legally dead ten years ago—after he had been missing for nearly a year."

Otto sent her a smile, and retrieves the milk. He checks the expiration date, gives the milk an experimental sniff, and starts dumping it into the bowl. Jinmay makes a mental note to go grocery shopping tonight.

"Yep. In his will, though, he left the company to his nephew—Chiro Nieli. Split his fortune in half. Half went to the kid's parents—well, mother—and the other half into a trust that only Chiro can access, and even then, only once he was eighteen. The money in the trust has increments that are paid out. Enough to fund schooling at a very prestigious school."

"What's any of that got to do with anything?" Jinmay asks.

"Right. Well, Chiro's fifteen now, and the heads think it's time to start grooming him to take over the company. But, uh. The kid has pretty much lived in obscurity for most of his life, so he's unfamiliar with all of this. I volunteered to let 'im stay with us—because honestly can you imagine 'im staying with the others?" Otto scoffs. "And, uh, then the others were all like 'that's great, we were hoping you'd volunteer' and… well. See, part of the reason they hired me five years ago was because they had plans for you. Specifically… making you Chiro's super kick-butt bodyguard."

Jinmay raises her eyebrows. "That's why they insisted on all that combat training, and for you not to upgrade my appearance?"

"Yup." Otto popped the 'p'. "I told 'em I'd make sure you were cool with it before I went and did anything hasty. So, whaddya think?"

Jinmay considers. It doesn't take long. "I'm game."

Otto grins. "Thought ya would be. I gotta personal request to make though."

"Shoot."

"Sounds to me like Chiro doesn't have a lotta friends. If I recall, they said that he keeps to himself. Doesn't sound like much of a life to me. I mean, if he's naturally introverted, then whatever." Otto swipes a hand through the air. "But I wanna make sure that he's not completely lonely. So… uh, can ya…?"

Jinmay laughs. "Of course, Otto. You don't even have to ask." She smiles at him. "You an' me… we'll be the best friends he's ever had."

Otto beams.

[whatson-northwales]

Over the last decade, its dawned on me that we have been living in a society addicted to plastics. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but on the Beaches of Anglesey whilst out running or doing our water sports its increasingly obvious that more and more plastic is being washed up on our shores. Each day we see the tide roll in and then out again, bringing with it a new wave of flotsam that has been discarded to the deeps. This is the story of single use plastics.

So what are single use plastics you may ask? Well put simply, plastic packaging that gets used once in its life cycle and then is discarded. Examples of this are, plastic bottles, plastic straws, plastic cotton wool buds, plastic lighters and plastic tooth picks to name but a few. They get used once, then chucked into landfill or the oceans. Most of the emphasis has been on ocean related plastics found on the foreshores of late, but this is only half the story. The rest end up in landfill sites across the world. Plastics can last upto 600 years until they finally degrade down into such small particulate size, that we can’t see them anymore. But they never really degrade down totally, they move into particulate form and then they enter our fresh water systems first and then us through our drinking waters thereafter.

The life spans of single use plastics.

Whether we are scuba diving, spear fishing or swimming on Anglesey, we notice the plastic waste on our outings more and more. Some plastics are deposited on the foreshore but most is below the low tide region, where most beach goers don’t actually see it. Some times on the receding tide line, a line of small particulate plastics is left in a wave crest like pattern all the way down the beach in multiple waves. Those particulate plastics are symptomatic of a far greater problem and those beaches are part of a bigger network of beaches all suffering the same fate.

A typical scene all along the welsh coast after a spring tide. Heartbreaking.

With a fast food style, fast consumer society, the demand for super fast, super cheap plastic goods from foreign countries got the better of us.. we succumbed to the capitalistic culture that served us, oh-so-well. Then the plastic hangover kicked in. Its like waking up thirty years later after a bad night out and seeing the results of your tequila filed antics.  Yes plastics have made our lives a lot easier – you have to struggle to think of any house hold products without plastic in right? But what where the consequences ? maybe its time for a change in our ethos..

The result of our post consumerism ways. A plastic filled hangover from hell.

With the BBC popularising the plastics global problem on the most recent amazing documentary on the blue planet 2, I think the whole globe finally got the understanding that we are in a whole world of bother with our plastics mess. But there have been amazing ambassadors on the internet who have been doing their piece long before the BBC piped up. Patagonia have been doing an amazing job with their ethical companies for the pst 20 years. And their ambassadors like Liz Clarke from Swell voyage have played a pivotal role. Along with a host of very popular bloggers such as Lessplastic, Paredownhome,  Treadingmyownpath, goingzerowaste and more.

We have seen the vast ocean gyres of plastic floating around the pacific and the sandal filled beaches of the pacific Oceana, and the garbage filled slums and waterways of India that are beyond shocking. It seems the whole world has suffered the same fate from our addiction to the black gold.  Whilst studying this in oceanography at university almost ten years ago now, back then there did not seem to be an imminent threat to nature, but maybe there was all along and the world of technology just hadn’t caught up yet to spread the word.

The Large ocean gyres that run our beautiful oceanic conveyor belt.

With the increase of connectedness of our society through the medium of social media in this age, word travels almost instantaneously. Images are shared in a heart beat and videos go viral. This wonderfully blessed time that we live with this thing called the internet can be most amazing. We can rally support for people in need in minutes with Gofund me pages at the click of a mouse, we can raise awareness to a causes that we feel are important to our communities and we can show real time video and images of events unfolding there and then. This is true empowerment.

The power is firmly back in our hands, ironically it always was we just never realised it. But remember we are the people who must take action, don’t wait for your councils, authorities or governments to jump at the task- they won’t, unless it serves them in the next elections. Take back the power and vote with your feet and your pound. What do I mean by this?, when you walk on a beach, take a back pack with you and pick up anything plastic you see, as little an effort as this can make an differnece- make it a habit. Blog it and show the world what your doing and share the good deed. It may inspire another to do the same. Call this your beach tax.

Locally organised beach cleans are now all over Facebook. This one by the amazing surfersagainssewage

When you are purchasing house hold goods make sure they are in line with the same ethics. Make sure they are plastic free (if you can) opt for bamboo alternatives, choose metals over plastics and natural fibres over plastic materials. There are a whole world of options out there now to choose from. If you want a more detailed idea there are many really cool blogs out there which help you navigate your way to becoming zero waste and plastic free. This is not a fassionble trend, this is a cultural shift in ethos.

Shopping in true plastic free style. This is advanced level but how amazing is it?!

Some amazing blogs that I have been reading and odin my home work on are myplasticfreelife , goingzerowaste and here is a guide to some other great bloggers on zero waste here  

So what changes can we make to our daily rituals and habits to make a difference to Mother Nature? Start small. The disposable coffee cups you drink are not as disposable as you may think- in fact they are not at all and have a plastic lined inner which can’t be separated and recycled. Opt for a bamboo refillable one instead or a metal SIGG coffee flask that your favourer coffee shop can fill up for you.

Next ditch the plastic straws. Opt for paper ones in pubs and restaurants and for the home purchase bamboo straws or stainless steel ones. I can’t tell you how many plastic straws we see on the shores of Anglesey. its shocking.

A basic zero waste bathroom set up! How easy is that?

Lastly cotton wool buds, again these litter the foreshores of every beach in the land after being flushed down the toilet. It doesn’t need to be this way. Buy the Bamboo alternative, easy hey? .. and thats how it all begins. I’m constantly getting schooled in this new cultural shift also, so I’m not the guru here merely a pupil, but a keen one! I’ve had an eco coffee cup for a while, I don’t buy disposable coffee cups and I stay away from single use plastics as best I can, its a process. Start with an eco shopping bag and move from there.

Top offenders in our flight against pollution in our oceans

Image by : The Fast Company

Its kind of fun and In some ways I treat it as a new adventure in our shopping styles. Plus I really like all these small independent retailers I’m finding along the path who create these new organic, wholesome products. Im done with the big industrial firms, they are a thing of the past. Independents who make products with love, not harming our planet along the way are the future.

Its a bit of an adventure finding all the new ways to learn to shop without plastic..

  There have been great initiatives started and run by outstanding people and teams of volunteers in our community of Anglesey pushing for a ” Plastics free status ” Sian from Psyched paddleboarding and Surfers against sewage teams have been rallying to push for this initiative that would see local business backing the plan and scale back on their use of single use plastics, this would mean the use of plastic straws, bottles and disposable cups would be a thing of the past. Plans to push for a plastic free high street, as well as water refill points across the Island of Anglesey / Yuns Mon are to be made available to visitors purchasing single use plastic water bottles. So lets push not only for a plastic free Anglesey but a Plastics free north Wales too!

Sian Sykes in her natural element!

Sian is currently on her own plastics free adventure raising awareness of this topic by paddle boarding around the whole of Wales self supported. This 60 day plus adventure has taken here through the waterways of Wales all the way to the Bristol Channel where she currently is at time of writing moving back north. You cam follow her adventure at her facebooked here. Business is as usual with Psyched Paddleboarding though still so book now for your summer trips with her and her trusted team.

As an oceanographer I have traveled the globe working out at sea, been any seen many beautiful ports around the world. They all have the same conundrum. Plastic waste. Looking back now, I just though it was the norm- of course it was wasn’t, it was terrible and we always did a clean up and tried to recycle wherever we could. But back them we didn’t really have the means to make a solid change via eco products. But those times have now changed. We now do.

The effects on wildlife are the main priority amongst all of this though and that should be pressed. We are not amphibious and do not have gills. it is their home not ours that we are systematically destroying by our addiction to plastics. The prey that fall to these oceanic mobile plastics are vast. From Gulls to turtles to fish to whales. I could go on. So this is not limited to litter problem this is a full blown biological catastrophe for our aquatic cousins. So time is of the essence if we wish to have an ecosystem left to protect!

Top 10 Plastic free products :

1. Bamboo coffee cups

2. Steel straws

3. Bamboo straws

4. Glass water bottles

5. Bamboo cutlery

6. Steel lunch boxes

7. Eco shopping bags

8. Eco bamboo iPhone protective case

9. Bamboo Combs and Brushes

10. Bamboo charcoal infused tooth brushes

This is why we have set up our whatson plastics free online store. We wanted to learn what the eco options where ourselfs. So we set about learning and then thought, we have a website why not set up a amazon store with all the products we could find and share them with you guys. That way we can educate ourself and create a more balanced life in line with Mother Nature.

We hope it gives you some ideas and inspiration to step away from plastics piece by piece. we will be adding to it with the more and more products we test ourselves and we will only promote items that we feel that have a positive impact on you and the planet. Over the past five years both myself and my girlfriend have undergone a huge transformation in our shopping styles, diets and lifestyle to become more balanced. Maybe your the same.

We want to create a buzz around this new movement and get behind it all we can. Our plan is to create a massively reduced reliance on plastics. We will donate 10% of any profits we receive through the affiliate links on amazon to a local related plastic cause or charity- maybe you can help with that? Ideas are always welcome. Drop us a comment below. Also if you have any ideas for the store we would love to hear from your s we will be continually updating the items in there.

In the future we will roll out a full E- commerce store, but thats work in progress. For now know that our minds are on helping create an understanding on the issue, then solutions to the problems we face. A thousand mile journey is said to begin with the first step. So lets begin. Together. Nick

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A Plastic free Anglesey Over the last decade, its dawned on me that we have been living in a society addicted to plastics.