#im so normal about them... SIKE!!!!

[gleppy-arts]

I love my pookies art, its so yummy and beautiful and pretty and have a lot of details and and... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oni au belongs to @aimike17 !!!

and DonBloom my babyss

[girlevanbuckley]

is somebody gonna match my freak? (love me to the core)

[world-heritage-posts]

hi um this is probably a pointless ask and it's probably annoying so im sorry you don't have to answer it and i really don't mean to be rude so im sorry and you ofc don't need to change your dni over this but i just wanted to say that there are some nice right wing conservatives and not all of us are radical trump supporters who hate queer people. those people are just the ones you hear about the most and i will admit there are a lot of them but there are also a lot of very moderate conservatives who are just. like. normal people who know basic respect

again im sorry

also i think it's funny that the other anon literally told you to get a hobby... on your hobby?? like is collecting and organizing tumblr posts not a valid hobby bc it's on Tumblr or something??

please say sike

[faineantgrl]

roaring knight character analysis

note: i will try to use they due to the fact we do not know the character yet, but i will be using "she" to break up any repetitiveness. at the end i will be talking about why this all points away from carol but i will not implicate anyone else.

video sources: x x x

we're going to skip over chapter 1 and 2 mentions & before tenna's destruction because ngl I don't think they're very important to this specific analysis i'm doing. that would moreso be plot/intentions and i want to analyze the knight themself.

Pre-CHP3 battle

so already just the way that tenna is sliced is interesting.

as others have pointed out, this is nigh impossible of a pose. so either the roaring knight somehow perfectly hit tenna whilst facing the other way, or hit tenna, then turned around to strike a foreboding pose. either way, we have already been given a flare for the dramatic.

they then hit this pose. now i've heard it's crying but when they're turning into this pose they're seen smiling for a few frames.

so, if they are doing some sort of crying thing, it's definitely on purpose to creep out the lightners more.

im not gonna flood this with screenshots but susie interrupts them trying to take toriel. they back off, but as seen in later chapters, and even later on in the boss fight, they didn't really have a reason to. they could have just blasted susie or something.

then they do Whatever This Is. if we didnt already establish the above you'd think this means they're Pissed, but the lightners aren't really a threat. they never do this again so it seems... it's just to freak out the lightners again.

Non-attack options

any action that is done to try and talk to the roaring knight does, essentially, Jack Shit. the roaring knight does not respond. i do not think this means the knight doesn't care to, as shown above they LOVE being a Freak, but rather that they... kinda can't! this should be kept in mind as we continue.

the everything else in battle

during the attack where the knight splits the Battle Box™️ they continue to strike poses

and then theres this attack

which i can only describe as Entirely Unnecessary. theres leftover code for more combination attacks like these which i can only imagine were left out because they were a little too batshit crazy to survive.

they also overkill the characters, up to -999 hp. you simply just don't gotta do that, mx knight.

and then...

they do. That.

"KB, didn't you just say they don't do the weird body contortion thing again-" yeah! they didn't! if you look closely That Is An Entirely Different Form Than Before (mostly in the "ribs")

and that final dramatic flair! they're not just putting on their best performance for the lightners, but you too!

and then they go "ougofhf... im so Weak,,,,,, you should HIT ME. it would be REALLY BAD if you HIT ME"

"oh no im dyingggg oh gosh-"

"-SIKE."

susie here makes a mistake of falling AGAIN for it

and then gets hit SO HARD that there isn't even an animation

then they get ralsei

and then we get darkness before seeing them "knighting" kris

this change in the pattern intentionally tricks the player into thinking "oh well they're not going to kill kris, maybe they're working togeth-"

SIKE AGAIN

i cannot express to you how funny it is in retrospect how many times the roaring knight tricks the player in one cutscene. like, they know exactly how the player is seeing everything and is using that to not only be super dramatic but to trick them several times IN A ROWWW thats CRAZY

once again we have another moment of the knight letting susie interrupt for unknown reasons. not only is my girl not a threat to the knight normally but she is DOOOWN. either the knight is trying to once again trick the viewer or she has a soft spot for susie. i mean who can blame her everyone does

and now here's her perfectly dodging attacks to show how much of a farce that battle was

and then the roaring knight turns into a bird. i dont know what thats about im not going to lie.

CHP3 conclusion

in conclusion of chapter 3: the knight is a dramatic af trickster who loves a good pose. not only are they putting on a show for the lightners, they're also putting on a show for the player. i almost wonder if they were spending all of chapter 3 getting antsy like "i gotta. i gotta get my freak on. whats taking so long i need to get silly with it"

CHP4 first cutscene

they are, quite literally, waiting for the player. theyve just been standing her this whole time, presumably.

their mouth turns into an eye because of course it does

and then they do THIS. which is entirely unnecessary. as i've said many times.

also note the change in color: before their overlay light thing was pink, but now its red. either they decided pink wasn't threatening enough, or thought pink overlay on blue wasn't gonna fly, and either of these show just how much WORK they put into the act.

and they also just attack susie here for fun i guess since she doesn't actually get downed

and once again they're on that PLAYER TRICKING GRIND

one sword at a time, even if fast, is possible to deal with

nevermind.

the knight also tricks the lightners and player AGAIN because they actually made TWO DARK WORLDS in the church and put a LOCK on the DOOR. IDIOT.

this is also an important moment for the knight's character. it seems they were entirely not planning to make the titan until susie says this. this is SO EXTREMELY PETTY. it's SASSY. it's FABULOUS.

they literally smirk and wait for ralsei to BEG like a cat about to push an item off a counter, waiting for their owner to get upset about the incoming doom before actually doing it.

ive also heard that the titan battle is harder if you end up defeating the roaring knight in chapter 3. the pettiness. the trickery. i literally have no choice but to stan etc etc

IN CONCLUSION

this roaring knight is a DIVA. she is WORKING IT. they are SASSY, DRAMATIC, A TRICKSTER, AND PETTY. they are PERFECT.

...that's also why it can't be carol. carol is the literal antithesis to whatever THIS is. she is no fun allowed. and there is only fun in the roaring knight's ball-court. carol is the harshness of a deadly winter storm, the roaring knight is the snow day spent throwing snowballs at your friends.

minnesota girl i'm incomprehensible daisy dukes winter coat on top ice-kissed skin so cold i'll freeze your popsickle oh woaoaooa oh woahahahah

[captainshorter]

Instead of rating shows i watched this year like a normal person im rating on how much they made me cry !

Side note, im not rating all of the shows I've watched, there are over 50 of them so nah not doing that😂

Moonlight chicken, 10/10, made me cry lots, great vibes

Never let me go

100/10, cried especially hard at that one scene with Palm and Neung dancing in that hotelroom after Palm's mum got killed.

Between us, A solid 9/10

I watched Until we meet again after i watched this and i heard it was so so sad so i was like hell yeah go sadness you know? But it disappointed me so much, i didn't like it all:/

I told sunset about you, 10/10, made me cry

Followed by I promised you the moon 100/10, it made me cry more than itsay, i liked it more too:))

The Eighth sense

1000/10 THIS WAS LITERALLY SO BEAUTIFUL MADE ME CRY SO HARD

Love mechanics, 100/10, made me cry lots:')

Blueming, 100000/10 CRIED, CRIED AND SOBBED, THIS ONE DEFINITELY MADE ME CRY HARDWST SHARING HIS PLACE WITH THE NEXT ONE

I feel you linger in the air, 100000/10. You wanna know the funniest about this being rated so high for making me cry? When i was watching the like first six episode or something i was like, wow yeah i kinda feel it's sad but it hadn't made me cry yet. THEN SIKE THE LAST FEW EPISODE HIT LIKE A TRUCK AND I LITERALLY COULDN'T STOP CRYING FOR AN NEARLY AN HOUR AFTER FINISHING IT. Yeah anyways

Bed friend, 8/10, it was angsty which i had not expected when i started watching it when it aired but it was incredibly. I didn't cry that much though. It gets point for unexpected angst and good portrayed trauma:)

Only friends, 9/10. Ray made me cry so hard with that scene in the bathtub. But the scene in the GIF above had me crying too.

Anyways that was it because Tumblr has a limit of adding gif per post and i feel like I've noted everything worth mentioning:))

(one more scene worth noting is the one in kiseki dear to me, not sure which episode anymore, but where Ai Di is sitting in front of a birthday cake and you see the years pass, that one hurt so much and i shedded some tears:'))

Another show worth noting for cry-ability (that's a word from now on), is Pitbabe, i have not cried because of it but it's kind sad and angsty so it has potential for making me cry

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP47 SPOILERS!

welp. todays the day. pray for me guys this could easily be the most upsetting episode of dndads for me. im dreading this so bad

- IS THAT FUCKING HERMIE SINGING???

- I CANT DO THIS

- I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE INTRO TO BE SAD IM SICK IM SICK IM ALREADY GONNA CRY

- "HATING MY FATHER INSTEAD OF HOLDING YOUR HAND" HEY???? HEY???! IM GONNA KMS

- OAKWORTHY IS CANON. IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE.

- FROM WHAT I HEARD I THOUGHT SCAM WAS IN THE INTRO???? BUT THIS. THIS HURTS SO BAD

- i feel sick i havent been able to move on from the intro

- im gonna be so honest i was expecting a "sike" or something at the end so u can imagine my relief when the little clicks started playing

- okay. okay. time to listen to ur fun facts u sick fucks

- WILL ACCIDENTALLY CALLING THE PODCAST DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AGAIN LMAOOO

- anthony stfu i dont want to hear ur voice (hes literally the dm)

- MASTER OF MANIPULATION LINCOLN LI WILSON

- will. what evil fact do u have for us today.

- NORMAL DOES TAROT READINGS WHAT

- WILL IS GONNA JUST DRAW A CARD RN???

- LOVERS??? THERES NO FUCKING WAY

- WILL ACKNOWLEDGING HERMIE DIED IM GONNA THROW UP

- A BROKEN MARRIAGE???? HOLY SHITTTT

- scary plays the piano omg!!!

- THATS THE DUMBEST REASON EVER

- "im really nervous about what anthonys gonna do this episode" U AND ME BOTH MATT

- MY HEART IS POUNDING. MY HANDS ARE SWEATING. MOMS SPAGHETTI /ref

- it has taken me an hour just to get through the intro + facts.

- "but at what cost?" AT WHAT COST IS RIGHT BETH.

- SO NORMAL WASNT CONSCIOUS FOR IT. UR FUCKING JOKING

- MATT SUGGESTING THEY HIDE THE TRUTH FROM NORMAL. I CAN FEEL TEARS COMING

- ATOPPP ANTHONY HELPP

- BETHS REAGAN JOKE TO THE RESCUE

- NORMAL IS AWAKE AGAIN. OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD

- NOOOO OFC THEYRE GETTING INTERRUPTED

- "wheres hermie?" IM DONE

- NORMAL CANT SEE HERMIES BODY OH MY LORDDD

- anthony rushing them away. i cannot. i cannot

- "well fix it" im done

- NORMAL GOES TO PICK THEM UP.

- I CANT DO THIS.

- "this marriage has one less spouse but heavens got one more little angel" MATTHEW ARNOLD CAN U NOT.

- im sitting here in shock through all of this

- "just be happy ur not in hell" shut up anthony too soon

- thank god normal didnt take damage again

- lincoln cool scar era okay

- NORMAL PANICKING LOOKING FOR SPELL COMPONENTS LIKE HE DID W TERRY JR I CANTTTT

- HENRY OAK GARCIA. SAVE ME HENRY

- LARK AND SPARROW GIVING EACH OTHER A LOOK HELP ME. HELP ME

- NORMAL DOING SENSE MOTIVE AGAIN STOP IT

- AND GETTING A 1 AGAIN!!!!!

- theyre back home.

- "VOTE WILLY"?????

- "u guys ready to see him?" NO. NO IM NOT

- ty for protecting dood scary :[

- NORMAL IS HOLDING HERMIES HAND AND TALKING TO THEM. WILL CAMPOS DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEE

- ANTHONY STOP RUBBING IN HOW DEAD THEY ARE

- "the only thing keeping u together is the absolute ignorance u have of the fact that maybe the only person who ever showed u any real affection in the last couple years of ur life is dead" anthony burch im hunting u down.

- STOPPPPP NOT THE AD

- THE OLD EARTH WHOOOA

- is the dude w the white beard that "new fan fave npc" will was talking about lol

- HENRY REVEAL. HENRY REVEAL!!!!

- BARRY?????

- I SCREAMED I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

- I DIDNT KNOW IF WE WERE GONNA GET BARRY BACK. NO WAY

- MERCEDES IS DEAD..... STOP IM CRYING AGAIN

- THEM ALL CALLING HERMIE THEIR FRIEND. OOUGH

- UR FUCKING KIDDING. ANTHONY DO NOT TEASE US LIKE THIS

- "MADE OF GOOF MATTER" UR JOKING

- NORMALS SNAPPING OHHHH GOD

- NORMAL. NORMAL ISTG.

- NORMALS TRYINF TO BRING THEM TO SCAM?????

- HOLY FUCK......

- THEYRE IN THE SIMPSONS NOW.

- SCAM LIKELY. MY FUCKING ENEMY.

- WHY DOES HE. WHY DOES HE ACTUALLY CARE. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS THERES NO WAY

- "HES MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD" SHOOT ME.

- THEY DONT HAVE A SOUL.

- WTF IS SCAM GONNA DO

- ANTHONY I DONT TRUST U ONE BIT

- anthony burch. i hate u

- okay scam apologizing does feel good

- "I DONT WANT ANOTHER ONE I WANT THIS ONE" AND PUNCHES HIM. OH. MY GOD.

- "u feel like home for some reason" WAILS

- OH MY GOD SCARYS GONNA TELL NORMAL.

- GUYS I CANT DO THIS I REALLY CANT

- THE TREE. WILL CAMPOS PLZ

- HENRY TOLD NORMAL HES PROUD OF HIM. NOBODY TALK TO ME AGAIN EVER

- ty henry for giving normal what he needed im gonna sob my eyes out

- THEYRE GONNA PUT THE SUN BACK.

- THE FUCKING. THE FUCKING SUNRISE

- MATT OLD LADY NPC

- WHAT IS THIS FUCKING IMPROV

- CHAPARRAL.

- DONT FUCKIJF HIT ME UP

- "i liked u too" sighs.

- "GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE" END ME.

- "hermie u definitely were one of us" SOBS

- "i did notice u. thanks for everything" AAUAGAUHH

- LINK SAID NOTHING FOR HERMIE GOOD GOD

- "lark shakes ur hand, sparrow goes in for a hug" ough.

- OH MY GOD HENRYS GONNA SEE CODE PURPLE.

- HOLY SHIT YALL THIS IS BIG

- THEYRE TEACHING HERO AND NORMAL HOW TO SHOOT.

- BABY NORMALLLL

- "help me normal, only u can save me normal" WTF??? WTF????

- WHAT THE FUCK.

- guys i made it through. [confetti falls on me]

[fake-ascension]

prerelationship 6, general 3, love 5 and 13? :3

dont not perceive me-

6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

neuvi would simply deny it, not because he's embarrassed but in the moment he literally doesn't think it would be possible for him to have a soulmate. This leads to another internal debate about the meaning of his existence like: He is a dragon so if he did have a soulmate to would have to be another dragon right? but there are very few dragons left in teyvat so statistically he would not have a soulmate. but also he WAS born in human form so he's not quite a dragon but not quiet human either so would that mean if he were to have a soulmate it would be more likely for them to be human? he thinks about this for the next 3 days and comes to the conclusion that "i am the chief justice of fontaine and have to remain impartial, but would consider timekeeper silvanus to be 'small and cute'" silvanus simply says 'impossible. i dont have time for that' and immediately starts ranting about all the things that need to be done today

3. What was their first kiss like?

oh my god. oh my od you cant do this to me im gonna die ive had two ideas abt this that are both equally as embarrassing the first idea being one of the many times neuvi is there to look after silvanus after she gets sick and during these visits they both start getting hit by their subconscious feelings, trying so hard to shove those thoughts back down while acting Normal. but it makes them both so fucking nervously awkward but one too many fleeting touches breaks them both down and theyre staring at each other like panicked creatures unable to break eye contact until silvie goes 'fuck it' and goes for it without realizing she just grabbed her wet and pathetic looking boss by his face and kissed him LMAO the second idea one follows the first one but instead of silvie kissing him in that moment theyre both like 'oh i like you and you also like me' and they talk abt their confused thoughts and feelings and neuvi decides he needs some time to understand his own emotions now knowing that silvanus also thinking of him this way but also if pursuing any of this would hinder his duties or silvanus' job so for the last week or two of silvanus' recovery he doesnt show up but the day before she's supposed to return to work her, he sends a note saying to meet him outside of the city and shes like 'ah man he wants to meet me where no one can see and turn me down' but SIKE he spent most of the time away reading books on human courtship and its a fucking DATE. he brought her out to a secluded area with pretty flowers and woodland creatures because he knows she likes gardening and cute animals and nervously kisses her there i have the funniest mental image of him being like 'i spent time reading about proper courtship and was recommended literature insightful literature about physical intimacy since i have little experience on that matter' and silvanus is like 'oh my god did the hydro archon recommend smutty literature to him??'

5. Who initiates kisses?

they had a strict 'no PDA' rule (that silvanus broke during the last part of the archon quest lmao) but silvanus probably, tho neuvi initiates physical affection more often. i imagine he can get very affectionate if given the chance to fumble awkwardly until it becomes more natural to him

13. Who remembers the little things?

i think both of them are intuitive in picking up seemingly small things about each other. after they get together, neuvillette is very aware of any possible trigger that could cause silvanus' illness to flare up (he will NOT have a repeat of the Last Incident). he is instinctively aware when sivlie hasn't eaten or more tired than usual and has like a 6th sense when silvanus tries to sneak in an extra cup of coffee or lie about not resting properly. while silvanus is able to read neuvillette's emotional state fairly well even though his behavior and body language stays relatively the same (to most people)

[just-some-random-blogger]

Cristi... Cristi... Say sike rn... What do you mean this is wrapped 😭 Cristi... Cristi... Quit playin... Cristi. I have never ever asked an author to continue a fic before... FUCKING HELL CRISTI WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN IM AT THE BRINK OF TEARS

It's fine... I calmed down slightly as I typed all that...........mmmm what do you mean daemons Y E A R N I N G ❓ HAHA IM FIND THIS IS FINE NO CONTINUATION IS FINE H A H A H A H A VAGUE ENDINGS ARE FINE WHO AM I TO FUCKING SAY OTHERWISE IVE ABANDONED LIKE SO MANY FUCKING FICS HAHAHAHAHAH IM FINE REALLY DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME OKAY IM FUCKKNG FINE IM NKT FREAKKNG OUT THIS JS A NORMAL WELL ADJUSTED PERSON FCUK HOJ I ODNT EVEN LIKE DAMEKN I HATE HIM HAHAHAHAHAHAH ITS FKND

You had looked into the flames to know who it was, but the Lord of Light kept the mystery concealed from you.

HULAAN MO LMAO BRO WAS LIKE GUESS 🌚🌝

You continued with your days as normal. As a worshiper of the Red God, you had never slept much, forced to keep vigil over the precious light you were afforded when the night fell. The stalking didn’t mean any changes in your routine, beyond mild annoyance at your lack of privacy.

Damn daemons a class A CREEP HELLO?

Any muttered enchantment in High Valyrian was to them an example their gods were lending you power, and not R'hllor. No matter how many times you told them you used it because you were essoii, they refused to believe it. 

Lmao very Targaryen of them. Poor girl she just wants to save™ them

The man’s expression turned colder. He grabbed a lock of your hair, idly twirling it between his fingers in what was a clear attempt at intimidating you. 

HAUL THIS STANKY ASS CREEP OUTTA HERE WHAT DO YOU MEAN TWIRLING HER HAIR 😭😭😭😭 SOBBING THIS MAN IS GEEKING OUT IT MUST BE THE FUCKING FUMES FORM HER FIRES

“I do not bed your brother, my prince.” He corrected, his smile getting more vicious.

😭😭😭😭😭🤚🤚 BROS MAD PETTY PACK IT THE FUCK UP

He stepped closer. His pupils were blown, mouth parted in half surprise, half desire. His thumb brushed over the inside of your wrist, and towards the inner side of your arm. His nails, short and well taken care of, scratched pleasantly against your forearm.

Local man discovers non-sexual intimacy (spoiler: hes trying his darnest to make it kinky bdsm hard sexual)

“Enchantress.” He muttered, under his breath. “Sorceress.” 

Literally daemon

Slowly, meeting your eyes, purple against your warm brown, he leant in and kissed you. His mouth caught yours, an instant of absolute violence and sweetness. There was no softness in it. Daemon kissed to conquer, to own. 

MDKDJSJNSNSNSNSSH KISSING HER?

TRY NOT TO GET A BONER CHALLENGE: FAILED ABYSMALLY

“Did you need something?”

“Walk with me.” He pressed, grabbing your elbow. “I can show you the most pleasant areas in the Red Keep.” 

Not that Daemon blames her. You are exquisite, and Rhaneyra has always had excellent taste.

PERIODT SHES GOT 10/10 HUSBAND/BABY DADDIES 😋

Your skin is soft and smooth to the touch, and Daemon cannot help but wonder how good it will feel against his. 

“She, too, doesn’t belong in a cage. She cannot be owned.” You explain, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Somehow, Daemon feels like you are not simply talking about the little valyrian. 

????? THERES A CAGED LITTLE VALYRIAN PERSON????? HELP ME WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 911 🫵 ITS HIM HE PARTOOK IN DEHUMANIZATION HELLO?

“I do not understand you.” Daemon sets down his sword, but doesn’t take the parcel back. He ignores your extended hands. “Your body yearns for mine, like fire yearns for logs, like men yearn for sustenance.” 

Oh I do aspire to have the confidence of a straight white affluent man

“A bit presumptuous, aren’t we?”

Pssst.... You can kick him in the nuts (free will)

“I only speak as I see it.” He cups your face in his hands, softly. The tenderness in his grip makes you close your eyes. “The kiss we shared… You felt it too. There is an inferno between the two of us. And Seven Hells…” He leans in, until his lips are merely a breath away from you. “I want to burn.” 

CRISTI GAGO WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK IT ALL WENT DOWN HILL FROM HERE WHEN HE SAID I WANT TO BURN I NEARLY JOLTED OFF MY FUCKING BED MAN IS Y E A R N I N G P L E A D I N G B E G G I N G

HES 0:16 YOU ASKIN FOR IT? YOU DYING FOR IT

“Not for you?” Daemon frowns slightly, before he realizes your meaning and his expression turns into a full-blown frown. “You mean, you saw some shit in those flames of yours?” 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAANNAJJDKDKDKDKSKS NO BUT THE CACKLE I LET OUT MAN HAS NO BUSINESS BEING THAT FUNNY FUCKING HELL I KNOW SHE WAS PISSSSSSEDD I WOULD BE PISSED TOO ESPECIALLY BECAUSE HES SO ANNOYED BY IT

Yet, it aches. It stings, it hurts. It’s a death from a thousand cuts. All your life, you have dedicated yourself to the cause, and when there is a single thing you want for yourself, you are not allowed to have it. 

CRISTI HOW COULD I EVER WRITE SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL LEAVE SOME SKILL FOR THE REST OF US IM EATING MY FIST

“I did. You belong to another woman.” You say, even when it hurts you to do so. R'hllor gives his strongest warriors the worst battles, you try to remember yourself. 

): i no no wanna be da stwongest soldiew

If someone had asked him before if he thought there was a place where he belonged, he would have said Valyria. If someone asked him now… Daemon only wanted to be yours. And he hated the fact that he could not be. 

ITS FINE I DIDNT SCREAM AT ALL I DO NOT MOURN THE FACT THERE WILL BE NO CONTINUATION AT ALL REALLY HONEST

“I know not of prophecies.” Daemon began, voice pitched low. For your ears only, less someone else overheard and took him for a sentimental fool. He was one, but only for you. There was no point in ruining his reputation before the entire court. “But I know my heart. I want to belong to you, Priestess. As long as you will have me.” 

IM FINE

“Then teach this poor sinner how to be properly devoted.” Daemon pulls you to him, and hugs you tightly. He has never in his life begged for anything, but for you, he is willing to try. “Let me be yours. Keep the vows, or don’t. Do as you please. I’ll be your husband, your lover, your whore. Anything. As long as I am yours.” 

IM TRYNA BE FUNNY TO COPE BECAUSE TEACH THIS POOR SINNER HOW TO BE PROPERLY DEVOTED LOBOTOMIZED ME GUYS I CANT DO THIS THIS MAKES ME WANT TO WRITE 10000 DAEMON FICS AND NONE AT ALL AND JUST LIVE IN THIS PARAGRAPH

Great I'm insane now. It's fine. Incredible work Cristi. I would have loved for you to continue but like I said I have never asked for a continuation fic and I'm not about to do that to you who I love so much. I need to write something half as beautiful as this to cope stop it right now

Valar Dohaeris (Daemon Targaryen x Reader) 

Warnings: Mature language. Sexual thoughts. Witch reader doing spooky, witch things.

A/N: And it’s wrapped up! Huge thanks to @just-some-random-blogger and @aias-fxtns for sticking with me and cheering me on to finish this. For anyone new, you can read the first part here!

THERE WAS A prickling sensation on the back of your neck, as if someone was watching you. It had been a constant sensation since a couple of days ago, one that you couldn’t shake even when alone in your quarters. 

You had looked into the flames to know who it was, but the Lord of Light kept the mystery concealed from you. The only comfort you had was that the person couldn’t have ill intent. When such things had happened to you in the past, you were always warned of the imminent danger. Hence, if there was no warning, there was no danger. 

You continued with your days as normal. As a worshiper of the Red God, you had never slept much, forced to keep vigil over the precious light you were afforded when the night fell. The stalking didn’t mean any changes in your routine, beyond mild annoyance at your lack of privacy.

Despite being powerful enough to feel the presence chasing you around, and strong enough to vanish it too with a few well-placed flames or complaints to the King, you found yourself hesitating. What if the person was tailing you because they were curious about your god? With your abysmal failure at converting anyone yet, you felt like you couldn’t turn them away.

Much to your dismay, the moon in King Viserys’ court had taught you one thing about yourself: You were terrible at preaching and convincing people. While your display of magic interested the King and his heir, their curiosity seemed purely centered in how it related to their Valyrian practices. Any muttered enchantment in High Valyrian was to them an example their gods were lending you power, and not R'hllor. No matter how many times you told them you used it because you were essoii, they refused to believe it. 

Pondering over your troubles as you partook in some recreational cursing, involving a live leech that you had fed Hightower blood, you were so focused, you didn't hear the door to your workroom open. Nor did you felt anything abnormal, recognizing the presence that followed you everywhere. You simply continued building your small pyre, feeling like these things required a more personal touch than just magicking it into existence. 

Besides, King Viserys had been explicit. You were not allowed bonfires inside, no matter how small you made them. 

“What in the Seven Hells are you doing?” The presence asked, sounding slightly amused. You turned, eager to meet your stalker. He was a fairly muscled man, though not overly so, with the built of a warrior. His hair was the silver color you had come to associate with Targaryens, a trait much rarer here than in your natal kingdom. There was a sword on his belt. 

His face, twisted into a mischievous smile, seemed oddly familiar. You had seen him before, but you did not know where. 

“Praying.” You answered, simply. The leech caught in your grasp squirmed, and you studied it with a detached expression. Should you skewer it and cause the man terrible stomach pains? Or boil it to give him a fever? You weren’t intending to kill, only to severely maim, so throwing it into the pyre was out of the question. 

“By holding a leech?” The man pressed closer, invading your personal space. You gave him a slow, bloodthirsty smile. Less he became too familiar. 

“He represents one of my enemies.” 

The man’s expression turned colder. He grabbed a lock of your hair, idly twirling it between his fingers in what was a clear attempt at intimidating you. 

“And what enemies does a pretty thing like you have? Shouldn’t you be whispering into the King’s ears? Warming his bed?”  

Ah, you thought, finally realizing who might this be and why he had been stalking you. Daemon Targaryen. Viserys’ fiercest protector. The Rogue Prince himself, of whom you had heard so much about. 

“I do not bed your brother, no.” You carefully placed a metal stake in the pyre, settling for skewering the leech. “And to answer your question, there are some ardent believers in the false idols in high positions here. I am simply ridding the realm of them.” 

“I do not bed your brother, my prince.” He corrected, his smile getting more vicious. You knew he understood exactly whom you were referring to. Despite your shared dislike for Otto Hightower, you did not like his tone. 

“Fire burns us all.” You impaled the leech, watching it squirm in the flames. “Even princes.” 

“Dragons do not burn.” Daemon said, with a stubborn tilt of his mouth. 

“Oh, but you do.” You smirked. “Or can you do this?” You reached into the flames, recovering the metal rod you had used to kill the leech. Your hand didn’t blister. Fire was not dangerous to you, your control over it too great. You offered it to him, still flaming hot. 

He didn’t take it. He knew that regardless of what House Targaryen claimed, none of them were truly fireproof. Not like you were. Not like she would be. 

Instead, Daemon reached for your hand, his expression one of complete wonder. He ran his fingers over your knuckles, as if checking for himself that you were not tricking him. Your skin remained smooth and pleasantly warm under his exploring hand. 

He stepped closer. His pupils were blown, mouth parted in half surprise, half desire. His thumb brushed over the inside of your wrist, and towards the inner side of your arm. His nails, short and well taken care of, scratched pleasantly against your forearm.

Suddenly, he tugged you towards him. Curious about his intentions, you allowed it. It had been a long time since you had been touched with such yearning. It felt as if he wanted to know you by touch and taste alone, unravel all your secrets. And you wanted to let him. 

“Enchantress.” He muttered, under his breath. “Sorceress.” 

“Priestess.” You corrected, looking at him from below your eyelashes.  

Slowly, meeting your eyes, purple against your warm brown, he leant in and kissed you. His mouth caught yours, an instant of absolute violence and sweetness. There was no softness in it. Daemon kissed to conquer, to own. And it was why you had to break it, with the certainty that if you allowed it to go any further, desire would consume you both. 

Red Priestesses weren’t sworn to celibacy. But you couldn’t be with this man, used to possessing, to owning. You had a destiny already, and it wasn’t paramour or wife. And he had his, too. You finally remembered where you had seen him. In your dreams, his blood mixed with the one in your silver Queen. 

“Did you need something?” You asked, tone very casual. He frowned, looking perplexed. You would be, too, if you were him. After such a delicious kiss, rejection would confuse you too. 

“Walk with me.” He pressed, grabbing your elbow. “I can show you the most pleasant areas in the Red Keep.” 

“Of that, I am sure. But I have no time for pleasure.” And you grabbed another leech, turning your back to him. This time, you threw it into the fire without intention, just because you could. 

“I WOULD LIKE to go for a walk with you, priestess.” Daemon says, for what feels like the twelfth time this week alone. As always, you barely lift your eyes from the red tome you are reading. Preparing to entertain Rhaenyra, no doubt. His niece has begun to monopolize far too much of your time for Daemon’s liking. 

Not that Daemon blames her. You are exquisite, and Rhaneyra has always had excellent taste.

“Hm.” You reply, making some notes on a spare parchment. Your penmanship is common, letters more similar to those merchants’ use than the beautiful handwriting most ladies have. Yet, even though it highlights your less than noble origins, Daemon finds it much better than what westerosi women manage to produce. For your writings have a redeemable trait: You write exclusively in High Valyrian. 

“Perhaps, if not a walk, you would like to sup with me?” Daemon tempts you. You have been sitting here for what feels like hours. Perhaps the prospect of food might be more amiable to you. 

“I can't.” You chew on your quill, expression torn. Daemon wonders if you still think he suspects you of being a cunning little witch. Which you are, but he has left behind his worry because you are wholly unprepared to seduce Viserys or Rhaenyra into your way of thinking. 

Whatever they taught you in those Red Temples didn’t prepare you for House Targaryen. Not even close. Viserys listened to your advice before discarding it because, well, he just wasn’t interested in ruling beyond keeping the peace. Your suggestions were too bold to follow them without angering the Faith. 

And Rhaenyra, Rhaenyra had always been capricious. You didn’t realize it, but she was using you to get back at the Hightower whore for attempting to seduce her father. She wasn’t truly interested in your theories about magic and gods. 

“I am not attempting to trick you.” He gently places his hand on your arm, trying to get your attention away from that blasted book. Your skin is soft and smooth to the touch, and Daemon cannot help but wonder how good it will feel against his. 

There has never been a woman who said no to him. That you do so, even when you had trembled with desire when he kissed you, intrigues him. And that you deny him each time you are faced with temptation only makes him want to have you further. 

“I know.” You smile, in that eerie way that tells Daemon that you know because you have seen it, and not just because you trust him. “I still cannot betray my vows.” 

“Red Priestesses make no vow of celibacy.” Daemon says, puzzled. 

“That isn’t the vow I speak of.” And when Daemon asks for clarifications, you simply laugh and claim to be too busy to enlighten him. No matter how much Daemon tries to understand, he doesn’t. 

Hence, the need to come to ask you. This time, he is smarter about it. He comes bearing a gift. A costly one, in which Daemon had splurged. The damn thing is uncannily smart, studying him with huge purple eyes. A fitting gift for an eerie woman. 

“Daemon?” As always, your inquiring tone is more of a courtesy than a real doubt. You probably saw his visit on the torches or something. Was it even worth it preparing a surprise, or would you already know? His question is soon answered when you set down the grinding stone you are using to prepare some sort of red concoction, and mutter. “I am not even from that part of Essos.”

“At least it is cute?” Daemon presents the cage with the little valyrian. The creature gives him a side eyed look, as if judging him. 

“She is adorable.” You agree, opening up the cage without a care in the world. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Daemon had nearly lost a finger to the vicious maws of the damn thing. Turns out, he has little reason to worry. The damn creature climbs on your shoulder and settles there as if she belongs, chittering to herself. “How did you..?”

“She, too, doesn’t belong in a cage. She cannot be owned.” You explain, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Somehow, Daemon feels like you are not simply talking about the little valyrian. 

“I don’t understand.” He says, swallowing his pride. You turn to look at him, and smile. 

“Men never do.” 

“I ONLY WEAR red.” You say, setting down the parcel in front of Daemon. He is sharpening his sword in the courtyard, the metal shining brightly on the sunlight, making you think of him once again. Azor Ahai and his flaming sword. 

The silks are the most expensive garbs you have ever owned. They had felt so smooth against your skin, cold and soft. But they didn’t belong in the wardrobe of a red priestess. They belonged in some stuffy lady’s trousseau. Perhaps, in a princess’.

You had seen a similar thing in your flames, after all. A thousand beautiful trinkets laid at the feet of your silver princess.

“I do not understand you.” Daemon sets down his sword, but doesn’t take the parcel back. He ignores your extended hands. “Your body yearns for mine, like fire yearns for logs, like men yearn for sustenance.” 

You snort. 

“A bit presumptuous, aren’t we?”

Daemon springs up to his feet, stepping into your personal space. The parcel, containing the beautiful silks, falls forgotten to the ground. 

“I only speak as I see it.” He cups your face in his hands, softly. The tenderness in his grip makes you close your eyes. “The kiss we shared… You felt it too. There is an inferno between the two of us. And Seven Hells…” He leans in, until his lips are merely a breath away from you. “I want to burn.” 

Burn. Burn, like the flames you use to watch the future. The reminder of everything that is at stake makes you jump in your haste to get away from him. 

Daemon doesn’t get angry. Instead, he gives you a long look. 

“I know you desire me. I can tell. Your face is warm, your pupils are blown… Your body betrays you when your mouth refuses to speak. So what is the problem?” 

“You are not for me.” You are too scared to say it plainly. Admitting out loud the two of you can never be together is akin to burying your relationship. Hence, the puzzles and mysteries. 

“Not for you?” Daemon frowns slightly, before he realizes your meaning and his expression turns into a full-blown frown. “You mean, you saw some shit in those flames of yours?” 

“Excuse me?” The rage you feel at him daring to question your visions makes you forget your previous thoughts about keeping your distance, getting in his face.  “How dare you…?” 

Daemon grasps a hand you hadn’t even realized you were using to gesture aggressively in his direction, shushing you. 

“Let us say I believe in your Red God.” He tugs you towards him, letting you collide against his chest. The feeling of him, so firm, so solid against you, is heavenly. You close your eyes, unable to help it. He smells of fire and sweat and something so utterly him it makes you begin to daydream about what it would be like if you could be his. It’s the sweetest of all agonies. “You saw me with someone else?” 

The words hit you like a bucket of cold water. Someone else. Someone he belongs to, someone whose line will bring the Prince that was promised, to save you from the long night. 

You should focus. This is your reality. You are nothing but a voice for R'hllor, you are not meant to want anything else but to spread his word and message. You are not some princess from a fairytale, who will get the handsome knight in the end. 

Yet, it aches. It stings, it hurts. It’s a death from a thousand cuts. All your life, you have dedicated yourself to the cause, and when there is a single thing you want for yourself, you are not allowed to have it. 

“I did. You belong to another woman.” You say, even when it hurts you to do so. R'hllor gives his strongest warriors the worst battles, you try to remember yourself. 

“I do not want that other woman.” Daemon grasps your face between his hands, forcing you to meet his eyes. He presses his forehead against yours. “I want you.” 

“From her line and your line shall come Azor Ahai.” You whisper, trying to get him to understand even when your own heart is breaking. “The prince that was promised. To fight the darkness, the cold, the terrors. I cannot…” 

Instead of scoffing at your beliefs, like he had done before, Daemon sighs. He closes his eyes, before opening them again. 

“These futures you see… They can’t be changed?” 

“I cannot risk it. The fates of our entire world, for a moment of fleeting pleasure?” You untangle yourself from him. “I am sorry, Daemon. I cannot risk it.” 

DAEMON HAD SPENT the whole week thinking about it. Seeing you walk around court, a whisper of red skirts and red curls tumbling down your back, made his heart ache. 

He had never wanted to belong anywhere. He was a Prince of House Targaryen, closer to gods than men. There was no point in attempting to conform or to tie himself down somewhere. 

If someone had asked him before if he thought there was a place where he belonged, he would have said Valyria. If someone asked him now… Daemon only wanted to be yours. And he hated the fact that he could not be. 

He had spent his evenings pouring over all the Red Keep’s library had to offer on prophecies, and then some. It had been a fruitless endeavor. There was little to be learned about prophecies and a lot to be learned about them. His knowledge of dragon dreams alone told him that. They were capricious things, more likely to come true in unexpected ways than to actually make any sense. 

It was why he had always distrusted dreams. It was why he was willing to risk it and be with you. If one tried to avoid the prophecy, it might come true regardless. Or it could seem straightforward, but one could be interpreting it wrong, and just when you thought it meant one thing, it meant another one. 

He wasn’t about to claim to be an expert on how Red Witches worked, but he didn’t care. Even if it doomed the whole world, Daemon wanted to be with you. It was why he had come to seek you out once more. 

You were looking lovelier than ever, seated upon a windowsill watching dawn come. The sunlight played against your features, making it seem as if you were a being of pure light, coming together slowly as the dawn broke. 

You didn’t turn to look at him, but you moved slightly aside, making space for him to sit next to you. Daemon didn’t know how you did it, but you had an eerie sense to know when someone approached you. He hoped that someday you would explain to him how the trick worked. 

He sat next to you, in silence. He grasped your hand in his before he even attempted to speak. You were warm and soft, as you always were. 

“I know not of prophecies.” Daemon began, voice pitched low. For your ears only, less someone else overheard and took him for a sentimental fool. He was one, but only for you. There was no point in ruining his reputation before the entire court. “But I know my heart. I want to belong to you, Priestess. As long as you will have me.” 

“I cannot have…” You begin, and Daemon isn’t about to let you ruin it. 

“Renounce your vows. Or don’t. I’ll convert. Believe in your vision, or don’t. I fear you might have changed it already, with how much I wish to be yours and only yours.” The words just keep coming, and you look horrified at the blasphemy he is spouting. Daemon knows he cannot convince you of anything if you get too incensed and burn him to a crisp.  He raises his palms placatingly. “If your god deals in absolutes, it might have come to pass, and we might have only a short while together. If he doesn’t, perhaps a child of ours will marry a child of hers."

“Are you trying to lecture me on how I should interpret my own visions?” You arch an eyebrow, the very picture of disbelief. Has he gone too far? 

“I would never. I only mean to say…” 

“What if the world implodes? What if the Long Night comes and no one is there to save us from the darkness?” 

“Then I will make the damn child if the future is fixed so. Have a little faith in your god. If this Azor Ahai has to be here, he will be here. Through whatever means it takes him.” 

“That’s not how this works!” You say, outraged. Your cute little face scrunches up in fury, and Daemon thinks he has never met anyone as irresistible as you are. 

“Then teach this poor sinner how to be properly devoted.” Daemon pulls you to him, and hugs you tightly. He has never in his life begged for anything, but for you, he is willing to try. “Let me be yours. Keep the vows, or don’t. Do as you please. I’ll be your husband, your lover, your whore. Anything. As long as I am yours.” 

And thankfully, you save him from further embarrassment. Just as the sun rises fully into the sky, you turn to him and quiet him with a kiss. 

[suicidalashley]

dear briar rose,

you’re so fucking sexy! and i love you. you have no idea how much you mean to me, and im going to ask you to forgive me again. i abuse you because abuse is the most romantic way to tell someone how much you love them. please don’t respond to any angry comments about what i just said to you, it’s not worth your time. i saw you crying at least 7 or 8 times about what i said to you, and it was very, very cute. i know that you are probably going to never talk to me again now, but it’s still yoon keeho week. and i’m still going to talk to you. you refused to open your laptop or iphone, so you know that you are in trouble with p1harmony. now you can’t listen to duh! until your punishment is over with and that might be years from now. so please, stop this behavior. you know that we are in love. i’m not apologizing for what i said and did to you, but im sad. sike! i never get sad, like i have told you many times before. you’re crying again? you still h8 me? it doesn’t matter, because i will always be in love with you and no one can take you away from me. i know that you are used to being abused by me, by now, but each time your heart gets so broken. i’m sorry that you cried so many times but in reality it was 3 hours. how about we forget that i ever abused you on mother’s day, and we just start fucking and making out? you are signed to disney as their pornstar, which you have written on your tumblr before, but you are still signed to p1harmony as our singing pornstar too, but since we have forbidden you to listen to music, it’s just when you’re crying, and we had a circle jerk. i won, right now. of course, im always winning because you are mine and mine only. i know that you don’t believe that its really me, yoon keeho, but it is me, the guy who came to your house and ‘set himself on fire.’, which is 💯% false. you set me on fire. you didn’t tell me that @mtsthelens from x put lava under the floor of your neighborhood and inside of your bedroom. the lava started to burn me alive. i am going to dm him from @p1harmony’s official x page and fight with him, because he should have told your boyfriend about it. it’s her boyfriend. she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and im her husband, so talk to me. ok… it’s @mtsthelens from x. do you want to fist fight for her love? if we send her the video she will come to my volcano and i can make her a rococo geisha. what? you’re not white? no, i’m south korean. is your brother? my brother? she knows chris? stop! she doesn’t want people to think that she is weird, which is weird because she’s the only normal person alive right now. what? she is? yes. she is so fucking mad at me, she won’t talk to me. what did you do to her? abuse is not romantic. shut up professor helen! you’re lying to get into her pants. so what? we don’t talk yet, so she doesn’t know that. why have you waited so long to talk to her? you know why. i was waiting for the invasion of the blondes. oh, i see. well it’s my week with her. how many posts a day? at least one. it’s going to take her forever to get over what i did today. why? i can’t tell you. ok? can she? she’s checked out for the night. she won’t even smile. didn’t that sword dancer teach her to smile? what? was that him? i thought that he couldn’t hear her. he can see everything and hear everything. why? he threatened people. who? you. when? right now. is this still yoon keeho? no. its president yoon. what the fuck? end this now!

[jenny-dreadful]

if i can ask a personal question how do you know if you’re bi-aspec (or aspec in general)? i keep spiraling about what if im just a lesbian and thats why i havent had sex or maybe im too introverted. im in my late 20’s so i feel like if i honestly wanted to i would have by now but i almost feel like i HAVE to just be repressed instead and stuff like the lesbian masterdoc has made it way worse :/ i always hear people say like oh go with your gut but thats not good advice for a nervous person and idek if i know what attraction feels like period, is it nervousness? intrusive thoughts? aesthetics? ugh!

lots of pieces to this question! i’m gonna do my best to handle u. pardon the text wall

FIRST: How do I (“how does one”?) know I’m aspec? I can only speak for my own experience, but for me the important pieces were 1) Finding out “some people just don’t experience sexual attraction” was even an option and 2) Realizing/being told that when other people make reference to, like, wanting to fuck a hot stranger, they do actually mean it and it’s not just a crass, jokey exaggeration.

People are cute as hell! I really enjoy checking cute people out! But I’ve never once scoped a hottie and thought/felt “OOOH I’d like my business to get up in their business, physically-speaking,” you know? It’s crazy to me that anyone would. It’s crazy to me to know that most people have not only actually had, like, actual irl physiological responses just to the presence of an appealing person, but that that’s, like, a pretty normal part of life for most people. Like, HUH? Y’all cannot be actually getting blushy n wet n shit…y’all cannot have ACTUALLY needed to hide boners through your whole teens*…please say sike…

It’s not that I’m seeing hot people and going through, like, a thought process of deciding it’d be unsafe or immoral to fuck em and therefore ultimately I don’t want to, or that they’re out of my league, or that I’ve decided I’m uninterested in casual sex in a social sense (although things like that may also apply)—it’s really just. N/A. These concepts just aren’t linked for me.**

So my thought is: To answer “Why haven’t I had sex? Am I ace or am I just introverted?” try assessing: Are you actually, actively attracted to people, but not pursuing that attraction due to shyness? Or maybe: Do you assume on some level that palpable attraction/arousal is something that kicks in Later, If You’re Getting Into It With Somebody, and you’ve just personally failed to get far enough to unlock those feelings? Because that one’s not it, actually—people who aren’t ace Feel Attraction whether they’ve done anything about it or not

As far as the other points of confusion you’ve mentioned, I really can’t nail them down for you, but what I CAN say is that I personally find the questions of “Am I just repressed?” and “Maybe I’m a lesbian and scared to accept it?” to be supremely unhelpful. In this context, they both hinge completely on the idea of ‘Someone suggested I might be lying to myself because I’m not ready to accept [x], and it’s impossible to definitively refute bc the phenomenon described is one where, literally by definition, I would not know I was doing that.’ Genuinely, I think you gotta consciously set those questions aside—you can return to them whenever, if you want, when you have a better handle on your central question.

*Not ENTIRELY literal and black-and-white like this for all aces. Personally I’ve also always been v low-libido, so the “Is this attraction or am I just free-floating nonspecifically horny?” was pretty fuckin easy for me to answer. It might take a little more work for you though, I don’t know your life story

**(This is where we get a little more personal, so be cool, but: When I’m using more specific labels [“bi aspec” usually covers me just fine], I’m demisexual, which for me is like. It’s not that I’m “sexually attracted” to anybody so much as it is that beyond a certain point/type of personal closeness, romanticism etc., sex starts to seem appealingly cozy, I guess? When that applies, I’m still not getting Super Hype about it in the way allos do. I’m not feeling particularly Urged to do anything. I’m still not proactively physically responsive. Just kind of opens it up as an option wrt things that sound kinda nice). I mention this only because, I dunno, if you’re questioning, it’s important to acknowledge that asexuality has a lot of different shapes to it—for very few people is it a total absolute in every dimension.

So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don’t know if anything in there is helpful to you, but I hope so, and good luck ✨

[eternal-dannation]

.

[supa-suckers]

Shakes x Skarra

Ship Headcanons:

Okay look we all know very damn well that thesse two are gonna need some help on the relationship im talking like profesional help.

There is some point in Couple's Counselling where their theraphist snaps and just goes 'Look Skarra i can either help you get over Shakes or get with him, not both!' Or 'You either stop pretending you don't care about this or start caring!'

İt gets easier after that.

Verg big on PDA once they go public (which -let's face it- won't take long) arm across shoulders, hand in the other's back pocket, kiss on the cheek, hip bumps, hand holding, etc. etc.

Extending on that both teams have stopped letting their respective players sit on the front row whenever they come to eachother's matches since Skarra and Sahakes' new favourite goal celebration is tugging the other down and smooching.

Vince visibly gagged the first time they did it, Coach called Shakes' mom.

The dogs warm up to Shakes surprisingly quickly Skarra suspects he let them have chesse or something.

Whenever they argue both dogs take Shakes' side just to piss him off.

After their first Big argument Shakes left the house to try and give both of them some space but they both have major seperation anxiety do he came back 20 mins. later to a...quite distraught Skarra.

They made it a rule that no matter how mad they are instead of leaving they'll stick by eachother and when it's time to actually talk it through they'll be cıvıl about it.

Dee's reaction to them dating was looking Skarra dead in the eyes and saying 'you don't deserve him' that dosen't mean she likes him though, she tolarates him at best.

Spenza looked Skarra dead in the eyes and said 'i'm onto you buddy', he never stopped looking for proof of some evil plan and who can blame him really.

Shakes is just as childish and Skarra's just as insuffrable.

Slowly both pairs get more used to eachother but they don't show it.

Spenza is real good with kids though and Dee appriciates a good mystery story. Begrudging Spenza Dee friendship anyone?

They like to bring eachother flowers because that's what normal couples do, right?

Both praise themselves on being the only one (?) able to understand the other, they also love showing off their partner

Skarra is a legs guy, he also appriciates a nice pair of lips, Shakes is more into the shoulders he can lean on and the ass he can slap.

The teams FREAKED when they found out Supa Strikas were all like 'Ha-Ha nice one Shakes/say sike rn/ c'mon dude tell me ur smarter than that!' Klaus thought it was the ultuimate enemies to lovers story.

İ.U was more of a 'HAH you owe me thirty bucks assmunch/Saw that one coming/well this ought to be interesting'.

Nicknames are:. Bro + every insult ever with like a honey thrown in during a tender moment.

NSFW:

Okay so y'all are gonna come at me for this but thesse guys bone like conservative 70 year olds, despite both having play boy type personalitys they never quite got it up.

Both are all talk and a wobbly walk basically.

They think having the lights off is kinky, Skarra has a thing for hair pulling he tried once and they had to stop just so he could pull his fingers out of that bird nest. Shakes is madly into hickies both giving and receiving.

First time happened after the first argument prolly not a good mindset to roll in the hay with but i think we should accept the fact that they'll never have a perfectly non-toxic relationship.

Biggest turn offs are: oral since they like to run their mouths and bondage because *vauge gesture*.

Skarra has red LED lights in his bedroom Shakes refuses to woo-hoo while they're on.

[demadogs]

Sorry if any of these have already been asked lol, not completely caught up on everything

1. What do you think the probability is that Mike actually does go to California primarily for El? With Will as an afterthought/addition. Kind of like how in the last ep of s3 Mike is talking about visiting and he's like "and Will, too!" I really hope it will be byler oriented but mainstream media makes me think that he will go to cali for the obvious choice, El.

2. Kind of related to the last point, do you think the whole "running away to cali" theory, or something similarly rebellious, is gonna happen? Or is it just gonna be like "sike, Mike's trip was actually planned and approved by parents as normal, and no one else goes with him because everybody else has legit excuses as to why they can't go."

3. Lastly, if there was to be a clear callback/reference to any previous scene, byler or not, what would you want it to be? Mine is personally "crazy together" i just love it so much, classic for a reason

none of these have been asked!

1. i think mike intends to visit to see both of them but he may not realize that hes more excited to reunite with will than el until hes actually there. hes been best friends with him since kindergarten and its the first time in both their lives that theyve been separated, but he and el have already been apart for a while in season 2. mike spent a year without seeing her or any contact with her. i think for that reason alone being away from will will be a lot harder for him and thats not even taking his unresolved feelings into consideration. i think he’ll be excited to see will but once hes there his feelings will get harder to ignore so he’ll intentionally pay more attention to el than him. also in one interview finn says “i’ll just say he’s visiting someone”. i feel like he wouldve just said el or both will and el if it was more mileven centric than byler.

2. i love this theory but im not 100% sure on it. it does make sense tho since he’s the only one to visit? if they all wanted to see them again it would be a lot more practical for the byers to visit hawkins than all of them flying out to california so i dont think it was a matter of them all just not being able to go. it would make more sense if they didnt even know he was going. the one thing holding me back tho is in the california teaser el’s letter to mike clearly shows that he plans on visiting over their spring break. the only thing i can think of is if he leaves sooner or maybe something happens and his parents say he can no longer go and he sneaks out? i hope he does runaway there tho id like that a lot.

3. i would also love them to reference “crazy together” or maybe the shed scene when mike said asking to be his friend was the best thing hes ever done.

[dantelionwishes]

life is full of ups and downs downs downs downs dow

loredump under the cut. not kidding when I say its gonna be long!

oh shit you actually clicked keep reading thank you for your interest 😭😭😭

YOU KNOW THE DRILL tw // suggestive dont read ahead if youre uncomfortable with the topic of aphrodisiacs! 

MIDDLE SCHOOL 

before anything, I gotta explain he was born to parents who had an infatuation quirk (makes them hardcore fall in love with you) and an infection quirk (transmits a virus via saliva)  

developed his quirk late, since they usually get it by the time kids are four 

most people knew him as quirkless before the first incident 

in middle school, his class was preparing for a school play, he and his classmate got cast as the main lead prince and princess 

coincidentally, they both had a crush on each other and had a scene where they kissed

technically they weren’t supposed to, since its just a play, but one time they were practicing in private and wanted to try kissing “for real”

so they shared a super giggly cute middle school first kiss but well UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM HIS QUIRK HAD WELL DEVELOPED– 

BADABING BADABOOM YOU HAVE AN IMAGINATION USE IT

the only way for the quirk’s effects to go away is to come at least once or pleasuring yourself until it goes away

I DO NOT WANT TO IMAGINE IT BUT. IMAGINE BEING A TEACHER AND FINDING A MIDDLE SCHOOLER WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER AND AN ADULT IS FORCED TO TELL HER HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY LLLLIKE–

rip now that I’m thinking abt it, I don’t even think anybody would even kNOW HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY so lets imagine she painfully stays that way until they figure out how to make it stop :^(

there’s a big fight that happens between the teachers, principal, and parents of both parties 

of course the crush’s parents got mad and called their kid a fuckin uhhhhh sexual predator or some shit despite also beING THE SAME AGE AND NOT EVEN KNOWING ABT HIS OWN QUIRK LIKE HELLLO

obviously an incident like this is going to spread like wildfire but the principal does not want something like this to leak, especially since it was not on purpose and was a total accident 

the other kid’s parents and some teachers did not feel comfortable however, and sato was forced to drop out

but not wanting to spread the gossip about their son’s quirk and the incident, they leave the town and move someplace else

thankfully, the principal gives the sato family his good grades and a recommendation to a decent highschool for the trouble

they’re originally from osaka, but moved to tokyo 

this is where they start taking precautions with sato, basically teaching him to be careful with his saliva 

it was easily taught and learned esp since the mom was already like that around him and others everyday anyway!! she has to take care of her saliva-based infection quirk, after all 

HIGH SCHOOL

he got enrolled into a regular highschool in tokyo

no hero course, no support course, no business, just a regular ol’ school

if before, he loved surrounding himself with people, this was where he was forced to develop a lonely disposition to protect himself and others

at least his parents were very protective and supportive of him and they were generally a happy family!

but in school, pretending to be quirkless was just as difficult, getting bullied or pitied for having no special abilities 

his excuse for wearing a mask all the time was because his mother had a virus-related quirk, and had to be careful 

one day his dad was suddenly got really, really sick

the more he had an excuse to wear a mask because he didnt want to get whatever disease his father started to develop 

sato started thinking it could be his mother (but why?) the results didn’t say anything about an unknown virus killing him (which is his mom’s quirk), and that his father really did contract a strong yet very normal disease 

while on his second year in highschool, his father, yozo sato, died 

apparently, without him knowing anything about his parents, his mother, oba sato, was actually under the dad’s infatuation quirk this whole time

she realised she wasn’t really in love with him when oba had accidentally allowed a drop of her saliva to fall into the meal she was making him, making him sick, and therefore making him weak enough to deactivate his quirk on her 

oba, back in her college years, wanted to marry someone else but yozo, who had a crush on her wanted her to himself, used his quirk to make him fall in love with her 

so in revenge for making her put up with him all these years to the point of marriage and having a kid, she continued to do this to his food 

her quirk doesn’t make anybody sick enough to die, but it made her husband’s immune system weak enough to the point that it contracted a real, serious disease which he ended up dying from instead 

sato only finds out the real story when he graduates from highschool, days right after his graduation the mom confesses it all 

she does say she truly loves him, but can’t stay around him knowing he was technically “unconsensual love”

sato gets reminded of what his quirk does, and true enough, that’s what him and his quirk turned out to be (a sick combination of his mom and his dad) 

they cant bear to be around each other after that revelation and decide to just not see each other again 

COLLEGE YEARS

he enrolls into an education course, inspired by the kind principal who helped him finish his middleschool-highschool education when it all started going downhill 

sato struggles paying for his college fees esp since he doesn’t exactly have his parents supporting him anymore, nor any contact with immediate family 

he has a lot of part time jobs that go all around the clock, he continues pretending to be quirkless so he gets bullied, and has to deal with all that emotional baggage plus being alone so…….clearly my man is TIRED as hell 

his side job hustles include: convenience store cashier, bookstore attendant, bar bouncer, and rookie gym trainer (he went to the local gym long enough for him to get recommended a job as a trainer)

college was that point where he starts developing a hardcore yearning for a companion because oh my god hes so lonELY (but cant)

ANYWAY SO

there’s this bully guy who always picks on him in college (for being “quirkless” and a loner and overall a fuckin weirdo with a mask)

tbh sato doesnt really give a shit he’s so used to it but he doesnt have his mother as an excuse to wear the mask anymore, this is where he starts forming the “I have bad breath” excuse 

“口臭い” (kuchi kusai) translates to “bad breath” or “stinky mouth” so sato unlovingly gets nicknamed “kusato”

one day he’s walking around the campus at night and finds the bully with his gang cornering another quirkless student, with plans of assaulting her 

sato was never the hero type, and was about to ignore the commotion as to not get involved, but something in him moved on its own and he found himself face to face with the gang 

he confronts them, but the bully mocks both him and the girl for not having powers to stop them anyway 

SIKE BITCH sato’s able to easily strike the other two guys, knock them off their feet enough to be able to tug the to-be victim aside, telling her to report them, before asking her to run away as fast as she can

none of the guys want that (they’re all students) so they have a full on brawl (and this isnt hero academy, its a totally normal university so I wouldn’t assume these guys had very impressive quirks)

except the main bully actually has a pretty decent quirk (he’s like a kinda half human half dragon with sharp claws, scales, and dragon eyes) and gets to injure sato with his sharp claws, seriously injuring his face

a part of his ear is also sort of sliced off, which is how his mask gets accidentally removed in the process 

the dragon bully grabs him by the collar and starts angrily shouting at him for ruining his night, being able to do all this shit without a quirk and all and all other derogatory speech 

“Well? what do you have to say for yourself?!“ 

Sato stays silent before spitting right into the bully’s mouth 

The bully drops him immediately, about to angrily fuck him up for doing something super fucking gross but WHOOP WHOOP YOU KNOW WHATS BOUTTA HAPPEN the quirk works immediately and the bully is a TOTAL MESS on the ground 

Im going to TLDR this part cos its…obviously nsfw but like: sato fully embarrasses him in public (beside the bully’s two colleges nonetheless) 

sato stays in the hospital for some time to heal from his wounds 

fortunately, afterwards, the bullies all get expelled 

unfortunately for sato, he also gets expelled for engaging in bad behaviour, and the bully did say what happened to him (and the college principal did not want his…dangerous quirk on campus) so as to lower any incident, all four were expelled 

at least without having to pay for college fees anymore, he could fully focus on paying for food, shelter, and clothes 

minus of course the hospital bills needed to pay plus he got a sick ass scar from it anyway HAHAHAHA BSDJHJRHDHF

ADULT LIFE

he had a lot of jobs here and there, but was more or less doing best as a trainer at a local gym where people weren’t allowed to use their quirks and strengthen their body regularly 

a few years went by and he eventually shrugged off everything that happened in his final college years but one day someone familiar walked into the gym! It was the fellow college student he saved!!!

she became a policewoman who wanted to get stronger in this quirkless friendly gym and hadn’t given up on her dreams of being a “hero,” inspired by how sato saved her that day

sato never really saw himself as some hero, he was left many nights alone thinking about how easily he could become a villain with his quirk, so hearing that really made him happy 

he trains her as her gym coach and she eventually asks him to join her patrol this small part of the city from a gang that was currently going around doing crimes since he’s good at it anyway, saying she could use some extra hands hehe

so yeah!! he does this side gig with her where he patrols alongside her looking for gang crimes and such c:

AND ONE DAY. [WISTFUL SIGH] ONE DAY. HE FINDS SOMEBODY GETTING MUGGED BY A GANG MEMBER AND SAVES………A CERTAIN MAN–

thank you for reading all the way here!!!

feel free to ask for questions or for any clarifications 😭😭😭!!!!!!

[ashlingnarcos]

the cast of narcos & narcos mexico needs to be stopped

like I think we all need to get together behind this I don't know how we let Maurice Compte get away with this so long but they just let the man walk out of the house looking like that every damn day and it's perfectly legal the man is a menace and he must be stopped God gave him a face like that and he was like oh I'll add some Shoulders on to this. No. No sir. I thinketh the fuckety not. you got me all fucked up and I feel so okay and normal about it I feel FINE

sPEAKING of which, they really i mean they REALLY looked at Mayra Hermosillo and were like we are gonna put her on television this is going to go really well this will be perfectly fine and it will not fry the everloving eyes out of our viewers certainly not certainly all our viewers will be perfectly fine with this even and especially the bisexual ones meanwhile this woman is so beautiful you would take your coat off just so she wouldn't have to step on a puddle. excuse me. speaking respectfully Narcos Mexico!Enedina is so beautiful that if you fell asleep next to her I feel like you wouldn't have any nightmares. that's a real thing, right? isn't it? ISNT IT????????

who the FUCK did the lighting and the wardrobe for Scoot McNairy im not gonna get violent i just wanna talk SIKE I fully wanna fight you in the dennys parking lot!! even a fucking waffle house parking lot!!! what have you done! what have you done! sure it's just a scrawny scruffy little white guy! we can say that! you know what else we can say? that the grand canyon is just a bunch of rocks. leave me alone. that man exists and he's just out there looking like that but im being sooooo brave about it i really really am

the crew behind narcos mexico has such a fucking violent mind they really really just had Bobby Soto striding along out here with Depeche Mode playing in the background they really played Depeche Mode with bisexual lighting on EVERYONES faces including Manuel Masalva and Alfonso Dosal and im supposed to get up the next morning and go to work??? im supposed to enter number? in spreadsheets?? i just watch Teresa Ruiz gaze into Diego Luna's eyes and they don't touch each other but they touch each other but they don't but they do and I'm just supposed to dO MY FUCKING TAXES??? NO????????????

Pedro Pascal soulful in a bulletproof jacket NO im NOT standing for it im NOT ALLOWING IT im writing letters to congress im manning the phones im patrolling the streets of hollywood! NO these fuckers really said we're going to give you Tenoch Huerta with his ass out and you're going to take it!!! and we just let them!!!!!!! NO SIR they said José María Yazpik in a black shirt with his throat showing NO they said Viviana Serna in lingerie NO they said Gorka Lasaosa mourning and vengeful NO they said Michael Peña with a gun NO they literally introduced us to Alberto Guerra??????????????? HOW MANY OF YOU did not know who Alberto Guerra was before this show started and now you can NEVER FUCKING FORGET ! THEY DID THIS TO US . FUCK !

my soul will never know peace. thank you. this has been my TedTalk

[bioodorange]

||The Pastas At The Beach||

this was originally like an entirely different post but ehhh this ways better!

disclaimer Im setting this like, at a beach with a boardwalk and such next too it? Public beach, small time vacationing!

and that they conviently like..pass as human

I hope you guys enjoy!! remember too check out my announcement board!

taglist: @frozensriracha @creepy-bi-day @capricornartistsstuff @krayolacolor

Jeff the Killer

Jeff doesn't really do much at the beach

The salt water irritates his skin and he burns easily, doesn't want too deal with it

Spends most of his time asleep

Hogs all the damn towels by sprawling out all over all of them

Gets sand over everything that they brought with them

Forgets how wind works and it gets everywhere

When its time for some of em too go get food, he always fucking goes

Wants too walk around and do something, and maybe not get blamed for all the fucking sand when everyone sits back down

He wears one of those like protective long sleeved shirts? and red swim trunks that are just somewhat obnoxiously bright

While getting the food he has a brilliant idea

Befriends the fucking seagulls

Lures them back too their umbrellas and just vibes with his bird army

atleast he's not alone anymore?

Ben Drowned

first off I know like he doesn't go swimming

but imagine if he did

his fucking goggles get filled up with blood

gets weird ass tan lines from the blood on his face like, when he's not swimming

has too wear the goggles when he puts on sunscreen-

ok ok thats it

fucker wears like mountain dew swim trunks

and those arm floatie things despite not going anywhere near the water

He tries too sit around Jeff but that gets boring fast-

Just walks the fuck off without telling anyone, on a journey for adventure

Will spend literal hours sitting underneath the boardwalk until someone finds him

After that they get him like one of thise beach toy kit things

Sally's nice enough too fill the bucket with water too, so they can make sand castles and stuff

She walks along the shore line with him, gets pretty shells too

Also if Ben were too go in the water

He's a fucking shark magnet with all that blood-

But don't tell him that, he won't come back too the beach

Ticci Toby

Toby is very excited too go to the beach

He didn't get out much as a kid

Siked as hell too get in the water

Drops his stuff off as soon as possible and runs right into the water

And thats when he realizes he can't fucking swim

Awkwardly flaps his arms around until a wave moves him along too back where he can stand

Everyones kinda confused when he comes back like "?? You were so excited, what happened?"

"I can't swim :(("

Cody volunteers to teach him right away, like the great brother he is

The thing is Cody is a horrible fucking teacher

Another few minutes of Toby getting owned by some waves and Cody just screaming stuff like

"Use your arms Toby- no not like that how I showed you- no I'm not going too help how are you supposed to learn-"

That's when Kate drags him back too shore and Doby and Brian teach him instead

In a bit he learns and ends up having a lot of fun

I feel like Toby would really like boogie boarding?

A lot easier then surfing but still a good time

Also they have too tie a red scarf around his arm so they don't loose his ass in a crowd, or in the water

Third Base

so far, Doby's the only one on this list who actually came prepared

I feel like he'd use one of those face lotions that has SPF 30 in it already?

Smart enough so he doesn't have too smear sun screen around his face, can just use the spray stuff and get going

Also has shoes and sunglasses too go with each like swimsuit/outfit he brings

Mans is put together

Really likes collecting shells and stuff

Walks with Sally, shows her how too find them

Wakes up kinda early as it is? So its easy for him too go too the beach early and find the shells before the tide pulls them back out

It's one of his favorite times, actually

The suns just rising, a few shops are opening, only a handful of people are on the beach

Does it everyday as his "alone time" before everyone else wakes up

Spends most of his time with everyone kinda relaxing?

I can see him really liking those beach volleyball games

Or just playing frizbee in the shallow water!

Really, really enjoys making sand castles

Builds a moat and everything so it stays up when the waves start coming closer

X-Virus

Cody, another kid who never got much beach expierence

But acts like he did

Buys one of those waterproof, phone lanyard things

Forgets too fucking close it properly

Doesn't have the first idea of what seagulls are like

"Oh come on buys its fine-" gets fucking owned for his cheesestick

Lowkey scared of them after that

Refuses too eat on the beach after that

Sits with ben under the board walk and curls around his chips

Spends most of his time in the water

Wants too see how far he can go before the lifegaurd calls him back

Finds it funny as shit too just slowly go deeper while grinning at them

Until a wave slaps him in the back of the head

And then he gets scared of the deepwater too

After he looses Swimming Coach privellages gets really fucking salty and sulks on the beach

Kate takes pity on him and walks around the boardwalk with him

But he also didn't know you have too reapply sunscreen after you go swimming

Gets really really bad sunburn

Jeff, Ben and Toby take turns slapping it whenever he gets too cocky

Masky

This is gonna be a Dad Tim one, fight me

Really has no idea what the fuck is going on, but still manages too keep everyone together?

Tells the same story, atleast twice a day, about the killer wave that almost took his shorts off

Gets in fights with seagulls whenever they get realitively close too the group

Also buys one of those crappy beach wagon things too put their stuff in

Buys a mug and cheesy beer koozie

Doesn't enjoy the beach that much but gets excited too go?

Ends up sitting down for most of the time unless he gets dragged on walks

Might just kinda walk until the water is at his knees and just kinda stand there, and nod a little

Giving mother nature his approval

He takes Sally out and holds onto her stomach, lifts her up over the waves whenever they come

Asks her what she can see, before he drops her back down

Tries it with Ben, gets kicked in the gut-

Favorite time is when it's dark and they go

Not for a long time, just a few minutes too walk along the shore before it gets dark

Hoodie

Designated photographer

Is supposed too be taking photos but mostly gets footage of the stupid shit that happens

Like Jeff not being able too figure out the dishwasher or Clockwork wrestling with her dresser where only half the drawers worked

Just kinda sits back and watches things go up in flames

He's the designated like playlist guy too? On the drive over, whenever he got bored just

"Hey what song should I play?"

And watches chaos ensue

His vacation is watching everyone else have a bad time

Makes up for it though, saves them a shit ton of money by making dinner every night.

I feel like he genuinely enjoys late nights on the beach, like Tim

Gets some beautiful photos of the water, and people taking walks that he's pretty damn proud of

Maybe once or twice he'll join Doby for a walk too get pictures of the rising sun

Likes getting small things from the gift shops

Shark teeth, maybe a cheesy snowglobe

Something silly but nice too remember the trip by

Eyeless Jack

first things first, ya know those double-lens glasses? Like you flip up the sunglass part and theres normal lenses underneath? Someone gave him those

But their are crappy eyes painted on the normal lenses

He's very confused but its just ridiculous enough for him too like

The beach isn't his favorite place, I HC him as nocturnal and most things are open during the day

He takes too the rides and crappy carnival games that are open late at night

He can't see everything super well but makes up fun things for himself

Enjoys going on rollercoasters that he has no idea what the hell the drops look like

Fucking hates bumper cars

Can't tell where everyone's coming from or when

More nerve racking then fun

Whenever they go to the beach beach he just kind of chills

Akwardly curls up on a towel because he's big as shit

Where ever they stay he walks around, uses his echo location shit too find out all its quirks

"This walls more hallow then that one- those support beams in the lobby are doing a very shitty job of keep things together"

Loves sitting out on the balcony and just smelling the salt air, listening too people laughing and the ocean waves

Just the small details a lot of people miss