#im still awake and i havent slept yet

[cicidraws]

i hate having nightmares so easily on a daily basis, it just happens no matter what i do or how i feel about something while awake. something can be cheesy as hell and not scary whatsoever and my brain still makes a nightmare

[ittybittybumblebee]

Honestly i really could become nocturnal if i really wanted to

[transgaysex]

cannot sleep bc i am filled with a deep deep sadness

[bigearsbunbun]

2nd day in 10th grade 08/30/23

I slept a little early than usual since I literally got 4 hours of sleep yesterday so I slept at 1AM....When I woke up I was still tired as hell since I accidentally forgot to turn off my 7:10AM alarm.....god worse mistake I ever made dude I was so tired and I tried to stay awake this time since I didnt want to be waken up by my 8AM alarm because I was just sick of hearing the alarm 2times so I immediately go on with my day starting with.........tiktok of course nothing surpising abt that...ALSO the new curtains that I tried on my windows literally made the room so much lighter since its white and it lets the light of the sun through the thin fabric...

Anyway at 11AM I started getting ready for school and ended up getting to school at 12:22PM like I was getting indecisive about what to wear and had to rush in and out of my room to get the accessories that I forgot to put onT.T...

when I got to the school it was PACKED sigh and when I got to our classroom it didnt start yet to I was relieved, to pass the time I read some one piece so I couldnt get bored waiting for the teacher:DD...

After like 15 mins the teacher finally arrived and started discussing about the policies of the school and the do's and don'ts..... literally had to sit and listen to that for 2 FHOURS my butt hurts from sitting broTT like pleaaaaaaase RELEASE ME..

when it was snack break I saw some of my friends outside waiting for us, we started to visit our other classmates but some of them were still in class and their teachers havent dismissed them for snack break yet...also I couldnt give eshy the snacks I bought yesterday as a pay back because she was still in class and I felt shy to go in so I just joined some of my friends walking around the building as we ate our snacks:DD

then snack break is over I sat on my seat......the teacher didnt really made us do that much and we already did all the stuff for today so we just had to wait for her to dismiss us....it was boring....like really boring....I ran out of chapters to read since I forgot to download more so I felt even more bored...so then I started sketching....there werent really any stuff in the classroom that was interesting it didnt really have that much stuff so I started sketching my bracelet and some characters online and that lasted for 10 minutes.....after a few more minutes for waiting they finally dismissed us....oh no I just realized tomorrow is our turn to clean the classroom....kinda lucky though since tomorrow I'll wear PE its so comfyyy..

When I got out of the classroom I saw my friend lets call her den!! I'm lucky to have her as a friend shes so sweet... we chatted as we wait for eshy to get dismissed from class so we were just downstairs....I showed my new sketches and she liked them!! I really want to improve more and Im proud to say that I have been sketching for a few days straight which is pretty rare for me so it feels nice to finally feel motivated about practicing my art skills:DD

when we were finally complete we chatted for a while with some other friends:DD one of them got voted as a president and won shes pretty smart and kind so I think she'd do great as a class president...but the bad part is.... the vice president is our creepy past classmate....he's literally the worst person on earth in my opinion... he literally touches people for no reason and its hella sexual too!>:[ ugh and also that guy cheats in quizzes....pretty happy that he's not my classmate this school year..

It was finally time to go home and we all parted way at the gate...I took a ride home because I couldnt really walk anymore since I picked the worst shoes to use today...it was my moms shoes and its smallT.T (I'm bigger than my mom)

Aaaand I got home:D my poor feetT.T I will never ever wear those shoes ever againD:...

I took this photo on the way home!! the sun was still up since it was 4:30PM I took a pic of some of these flowers:DD (eshy likes these flowers)

anyway thanks for reading this far!! have a great day byeeee!!(*/ω＼*)

[alastheatlas]

Why Klance/Laith Will Probably Go Down - Masterlist

I know how season 7 broke many of us. We had a lot of expectations and this season, while beautiful and otherwise good, certainly failed at some points.

However it isn’t the end yet. Hopefully season 8 will resolve at least some of our disappointments. But when it comes to klance/laith, I’m pretty sure we’re going to see something happen. Nothing has to happen however. But I’m just saying, based on all of the things listed, it just simply makes sense that it would.

This is just a show so whatever happens happens. But I'm just saying I'll have faith in laith until if the very last second of the show tells us any different. And here’s why.

Are you ready? [CONTAINS SEASON 7 SPOILERS!!]

-----------------------------------------------------

but first some lecturing lololol

WHATEVER HAPPENS AND WHICHEVER SHIP BLOWS OUT THE BIG CANON IN THE END IS FINE. IT'S JUST A SHOW. A SHOW THAT DOESN'T EVEN REVOLVE AROUND ROMANCE. If you can't handle that then you can go bite ass. Oh and also, Don’t spread around hate or threats or any shit like that. You should know better. Just enjoy the show as it is. And yes, this applies to if your ship becomes canon and if it doesn’t. Spreading hate and threats are never okay. Accept whatever the outcome of the show will be, and let people ship what they want. This isn’t your story and you shouldn’t become sour just because it doesn’t go the way you want it to go, and if it does go the way you want it to go, don’t rub it in the faces of those who wanted something different.

Just be mature and decent guys, it really ain’t that hard.

-----------------------------------------------------

ANYWAY here's my half-assed list of why I believe klance/laith will be endgame by the end of the series:   

[I REPEAT THIS CONTAINS SOME S7 SPOILERS]

Let’s begin with some random stuff:

Lance’s one-sided rivalry with Keith seems to... have something a little extra about it.

The blue and the red star in the astral plane?? Do they hold a deeper meaning??

The bonding moment. It could be seen as platonic, but... The colours and the lightning y'all... Interesting choice. (Also... that a//urance parallel in season 6... Coincidence I think the heck not, purposeful I think the heck yes)

Keith being seemingly really impatient for Lance to come out of the healing pod after the bonding moment, and then appearing to actually sulk for having to wait just a small moment.

In one of the comic books Keith says that he’ll be training and suggests that maybe Lance should too, maybe or maybe not wanting to hang out with Lance and trying to create an opportunity, and then seems to become upset/disappointed when Lance rejects the idea.

Lance talking to the mice about his crush on Allura could honestly pass  as him talking about Keith as well. 

Honestly though was Lance flirting/trying to impress Keith as pointed out here x?

They really pulled the stuck in the elevator trope lmao.

This doesn’t actually have to do with anything but I still find it a funny parallel with Lance rejecting Keith by denying the bonding moment and Keith rejecting Lance and denying him a proper greeting and hug after returning. Are they even now? fuhidsdfu top 10 anime betrayals

The Feud episode (here are the s7 spoilers!!)

Lance chose Keith (read more here x). Look, listen. This was pretty gay. To put it briefly, Lance’s reasoning was kinda weak and he could’ve honestly as well have chosen Allura here. But... he didn’t. And then he seriously says that Keith is the future which is like honest foreshadowing (especially considering how unnecessary it was for him to say that part, at the very least in that way). And then to deliver the final blow he drops that soft smile (a la bonding moment) on us. I don’t care what happens in season 8, this moment was gay af. If I’m stretching a little bit this scene could be viewed a little bit like Lance choosing between Keith and Allura (looking to the side and then the other, pondering, choosing Keith).

Keith chose Lance (same read more link x). Again to put it briefly. We know Keith seems kinda grumpy here. You know what we also know? Keith doesn’t dislike Lance, and he cares about the fate of the universe, therefore invalidating his answer. His body language and expression alone said it all; he closed himself off. He wasn’t comfortable sharing the real reason why he chose Lance. Keith no doubt knows what Lance is capable of. He trusts Lance. Keith chose Lance for a reason (or several reasons), and him ‘not wanting to be stuck for eternity with him’ is definitely not the reason why Keith voted for Lance to escape. Worthy mention of Keith being the quickest here to choose and to finish.

Bii. Boh. Bi. Y’all. This shit. Call it a funny coincidence but the answer was “bi” and the Bii-Boh-Bi kept gesturing towards Lance basically during the entire thing. Call it a stretch if you want, but I have no regrets reaching for this cup. And call it a crack theory at this point but Bob tells the Bii-Boh-Bi “Maybe you could help this dum-dum out”, so this drink tastes like whatever-this-episode-even-was wanted to give Lance a shake. The name game wasn’t even valid. You can be bad at names and bad at remembering faces and still be incredibly smart. None of the games showed Lance actually being unintelligent. And Lance actually did very well in the last game, and I can tell you that game was confusing af so I’m impressed. With this in mind my arm has personally elongated so far that maybe Bob calling Lance ‘dumb’ here wasn’t a jab at his intelligence. Ok hi my ankle is broken but it was worth it. 

Interesting scenery colours and rainbows:

There are several cases of these, but they’re mostly subtle. I’ll leave some examples.

That one episode in season one (is it 06? or 07? you know the one) that is literally the bi flag. We have a lot of Lance in this ep.

In this ep we are also accompanied by at least two rainbows, one when Lance and Nyma fly across the water and another at the end when Keith teases Lance. (Honorable mention of Keith arguably checking Rolo out in this episode lol, we see u Keith x)

That episode when Lotor plays around with the paladins on that planet with the explosive gas, and when the team has split and Keith nears Lance with his lion and no kidding that's the bi flag as a background right there (upside down).

The very obvious, big ass, very not subtle rainbow that's seriously plastered on Keith in the season 7 trailer.

Random rainbow over Keith here as well

The scene where the paladins are in some galra place or something and Lance is sharpshooting and looking down at the others. Background + Lance’s suit + his gun = bi flag colours. 

Funnily enough in this scene when Keith shows up and starts fighting the galra robots (or whatever those things are) and Lance goes ‘I had that guy!’ he looks wayy too long at Keith. Like. Way too long.

Ogling/gloating and jealousy?:

“I’d recognize that mullet anywhere” I’m sorry but if that doesn’t sound like someone has been ogling then I don’t know what.

Again I’m sorry but Lance’s reaction to Keith when he returned wasn’t of the straightest caliber.

Still, when Lance keeps looking at Keith fighting for several solid seconds when he’s supposed to be shooting down galra robots. Parallels a//urance in a way a little bit too when Lance looks at Allura fighting and goes ‘that was awesome!’

But Keith isn’t all that better, apparently

Keith. Out of all people. Stops mid-battle to smile at Lance when Lance shoots away a knife heading towards Keith. Not noticing Axca coming up behind him and then almost getting his ass kicked by Ezor.

After the bonding moment Keith arguably seems like he's jealous when Lance starts flirting.

(Here’s some more hehe x)

How Lance being jealous when Keith is involved could actually be interpreted as ambiguous. It is never actually clarified who he’s jealous over. why not both

Really though the "Jealousy, thy name is Keith" from the comic could possibly be more true than it lets on (though not as you think, Lance).

Honestly I’ll never get over these danking looks:

Lance you’re excused but Keith?? What?? Is that face?? The boy flirted with a girl and ran off and got his lion stolen and you had to get it back for him and you make THIS face?? (Also I think this is the same face 80′s voltron Keith did at Allura at one point?) 

Lance you’re no longer excused. He seriously looks like he's daydreaming of prince charming coming and sweeping him off his feet. (Also remember the face he made when talking about Mrs. Blue Lion x?)

KEITH. HONESTLY. WHAT.

Legit there are no excuses for any of these expressions.

Now for some parallels, some weaker some stronger:

[x] (Krolia/Texas and l0tura parallels, with a dash of Zarkon/Honerva)

[x] (a//urance and l0tura parallels)

[x] (s7 spoiler!), Might and might not be a reach but a//urance parallel (same energy lol))

[x] This entire scene (they make a great/good team). Let’s not forget the little hand glasp Lance does.

[x] (tlok parallel)

[x] (atla parallel)

[x] (atla and tlok parallel) Insert Lance in this context lol

[x] (tlok parallel)

[x] (a//urance parallel)

There are so many parallels tbh I can’t

Allura honestly parallels Keith so much and she LITERALLY plays Keith in the coalition shows

[x] Lance talking about Mrs. Blue Lion vs talking about Keith

[x] (l0tura parallel)

A//lurance and klance/laith paralleling with how both Keith and Allura lectures Lance about the coalition shows not being about the show but about the people 

Some romantic mood parallels:

The previous blue paladin with a (blushing) male galra

Now lets move on to some interesting stuff from interviews and the cast and producers (no sources or direct quotes because I’M LAZY:

We all know about the art Lauren drew with Lance and Shiro holding up the lgbt sign and the theory that goes with it.

Bex pretty much confirming that there'll be lgbtq rep in voltron through a sinister laugh in that vid (we know now this to be true bc of Shiro, but there might be more to come?.. or unfold hehe if you catch my drift). Voltron having lgbtq rep has also been brought up before at interviews. I THINK there’s been hinted that there’ll be a little something something between two characters? Not sure tho

Bex also either confirming or shooting down klance/laith during another vid BUT most probably confirming. You know that vid. Reasons to believe: 1. It was dubious, since we don't know which of the questions she shaked her head to. 2. High Hopes by Panic! At The Disco was playing in the background. 3. I don't think she would actually openly deny a ship when she could have just ignored the question, much less making it so dubious.

Kimberly: "Friendship" (may or may not actually imply something within the future of the show, or if it just was @ the thorsty klancers)

We know that Lance will have an endgame (and Keith happens to check all the points of what’s been said about that endgame)

Lance will end up somewhere different than he thought at the start (he wanted Allura at the start, and Keith certainly would be someone different than he'd thought).

What he wants isn't necessarily what he needs(/gets?? I don't remember lol) (and we know he wanted Allura. plus the lion exchange becomes a pretty interesting topic here, as further talked about here x). 

What he needs/wants is someone who’s self-assured and who knows who they are (I think it was) and hey look Keith is back! (who just happens to fit these criterias more than ever).

The plain fact of how Keith and Lance's arcs actually just seem to intertwine so well.

Also adding that klance/laith interview lol. With the "natural progression" thing and that. And also when Lauren said the only incompatible thing about Lance and Keith is the shipname 'klance'. 

Lance’s milkshake bringing everybody to the yard.

It’s been said that Lance remembers the bonding moment but wasn’t ‘emotionally ready’ for it, whatever that could possibly mean 👀 

And apparently there’s more story to unfold... 

Which may or may not be related but sure makes this a hella lot more interesting (I find this cup worth reaching for ok)

(lmao if you seriously think the folding thing was an accident)

I’m not saying that the pic necessarily implies klance/laith but it certainly implies something with them. Which will be. Interesting.

Some interesting theories:

[x] Regarding the “Red lion” and the “Blue lion”

[x] Keith’s vlog and some interesting tagging

[x] Some possible, interesting foreshadowing?

Highkey Lowkey scared this is actually foreshadowing (from a comic, Keith is the one saying ‘isn’t that love’, and Lance is the other one)

Also some reaches because we love long arms:

[x] Rivals to friends to lovers foreshadowing lol

[x] Interesting... Funny coincidence?

[x] I know I know but honestly you can’t deny his face here

[x] I’ll also add this while I’m at it because I can 

(s7 spoiler ahead) Look this is just an interesting concept ok, but in episode 2 in s7 when they’re splitting up in that tunnel, Allura goes one way and Keith goes the other. We see Lance going last, slowing up and almost seeming to take a little time to choose, before going the way Keith went.

So uhh yeah here’s my grand, half-assed take on it. Season 7 can come bite my ass if it doesn’t happen, I’ll be on the lookout until the very last episode of season 8. Klance/laith may or may not happen. But I strongly believe it will and honestly that’s just what makes the most sense to me. 

But yeah reminder that ships doesn’t have to be canon for you to ship them, and if your ship becomes canon you should not harass others about it and you shouldn’t harass others if your ship doesn’t become canon either. All in all NO HARASSING. NO HATE. NO SHADE. JUST. BE DECENT. This includes to the creators and other people in the fandom both. 

Always be prepared for voltron to sock you in the stomach. Season 7 might very well do so. Season 8 might very well do so. Be prepared for your expectations and hopes and wishes to go completely out the window. But no matter how it goes, let’s just sit back and relax and enjoy the show as much as we can beyond our internal screaming.

In the end this is an intriguing story with aliens about family and being a team and it’s beautiful. So let’s just enjoy it, no matter what.

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY

[skeletonsandroses21]

God I’ve fucked up my sleep schedule so badly

[vampirebiter]

Can’t wait to move into the new house this weekend. I’ll finally have air conditioning

[renaisaibaam]

good nights sleep.

xiao x female reader

CONSENSUAL somnophilia

shy xiao sobs

im writing this drunk help

plot who? just smut

xiao didn't think his first time would end up like this.

hell, this shouldn't even have happened in the first place if it were not to his carnal desires that overtook his body like it was forced to be put on autopilot.

his hips shudder as he continues to pound into your dripping cunt that he's holding up with his hands that were digging into the skin of your own hips, your sleeping, clueless form only making his blood rush to his cock even more than how much that was already in it.

just what exactly happened?

you had already told him about what you were into, and one of them was something he never thought existed until now. being devoured while sleeping.. just how in the hell was he going to act on that? you constantly reassured him that if he ever wanted to that it was fine, but he didn't really remember it. hell, he didn't even take you yet. there is no need to rush, he tells you and himself.

he taps his foot on the floor and looks up, arms crossed as he patiently waited for your arrival. you had informed him that you were going to a party in mondstadt, and that you'd be home late, so here he was, in the couch inside of your teapot's house, the room quiet until he hears the click of the door opening.

"im home.." you called out from the doorway, setting down your shoes on the entrance. xiao peeks from his position, and stands up to walk over to you, giving a kiss on your forehead, an action he has grown accustomed to when you two had started dating.

"how was it?" he asks, coming back down on the couch. you whine and set yourself on his lap, taking off your coat and letting it fall to the floor as you spoke.

"it was so tiring! i'm not having it anymore, thank god venti didn't make me drink or i'd have come home a drunk mess." you pouted and rest your chin on his shoulder, lazily wrapping your arms around him as you closed your eyes.

"well, i'm glad he didn't, otherwise i'd have to take care of you." he laughs and gives your hair a gentle pat, kissing the side of it softly. he notices your breathing getting slower, and you getting slightly heavier, to which he speaks up on.

"are you falling asleep?"

"no i'm not." despite the immediate retort, your tone is quiet and quite obviously drowsy, your body not even moving from how sore you were from walking all day.

"if you're going to sleep, go wash up and change. let's head to bed together." he speaks, lifting you up and taking you to the second floor where your shared room is. he kicks the door, and gently sets you down on the bed, staring down at your figure.

"can you wipe me down and change me? i'm too tired." you yawn and snuggle up into one of the nearby pillows, the adeptus growling at your behaviour.

"come on, don't be lazy now." he tries to nudge you off, but before he knew it, you were now snoring, a sign you were fully asleep and that there was no way to wake you up. xiao sighs in annoyance, but pulls you by your ankles closer to him, starting to take off your clothes despite his earlier protests.

he has seen you naked countless times considering you and him take baths together, but he didn't think about it much. he goes to the bathroom to grab a wet towel, and comes back to wipe you down with it, starting with your arms.

now this is where he starts to have his thoughts.

he never thought about it, but your skin was smooth and soft to the touch. he didn't get to touch it like this. the towel moves down to your neck, making sure to be gentle so he doesn't accidentally choke you. he stares at the skin of your throat, the pretty skin that he wants to mark and leave patches of red, blue, and purples.

he gulps, and trails it down to your torso, trying to shake away the thoughts and continue to wipe you down. when the cold cloth hits your breast, you jolt up and let out a quiet moan, xiao getting a shock from your responsiveness. he was about to stop, assuming you were awake, but when he looks up to see you still asleep, the blood starts to rush to his cock.

what the hell? why did you look like that? is this what you meant by liking this somnophilia you spoke about to him?

he swallows, a rather thick sounding one, and lifts up your leg, wiping down on your inner thigh so he can finally finishing things. his face is red just thinking about it, and his pants are getting tighter by each second. but he comes through, and spreads your legs to properly wipe your crotch, hesitant. he brings the cold cloth down, and when it comes in contact with you, your hips jolt, and this is when all his reason is thrown out the window.

next thing he knows, your legs are up on his shoulders, and your cunt is on his mouth, his tongue feverishly tasting you without any hesitation.

though he was eating you out rather sloppily, it was a surprise that you managed to stay asleep and let your body do the reacting. you were practically dripping on his mouth, and he loved the taste of you. one of his hands holding you up moves to thumb on your clit, the palm of his hand pressing down on your abdomen. though you were asleep and showed barely any reactions, the new sensation from his hand making you let out a whimper and have your hips buck into his mouth.

xiao growls, and lets go of your pussy, letting your hips back down on the mattress. he lets your legs rest on his hips as he starts to unbuckle his pants that had been tight for quite some time now, and feeling his cock be released from the restricting fabric has him sigh in relief, scooting in closer to rub the underside of his cock in your dripping folds.

it's now that he realizes that archons, he's about to take you. in your sleep. your first time with him. but with how far he's gotten, how can he back out?

he lines his tip into your throbbing hole that has been stretched with his tongue, and slowly pushes in, the tightness making him grunt. he looks up at your face to see if you're reacting, and when he sees nothing but a flushed but sleeping face, he pushes himself all in without thinking.

although it was his action, the heat enveloping his cock causes a shock on his body, and if it weren't for his amazing restraint, he would have shot his load inside you then and there. archons, it felt so good. his breathing is heavy, and he looks up, wondering if you had waken up from the sudden penetration.

but you didn't. you were fast asleep, and your sleeping face edged him on to continue.

and so this brings us back to where we started.

his hands lift your hips up to be able to slam his hips into you easily, growling at the new found pleasure he was experiencing. "god, taking her like this in her sleep.." he mumbles to himself as he pounds into your dripping cunt, his nails digging at your flesh. drops of sweat were dropping into your stomach from his forehead, and his breathing was ragged. god, you felt so good around his cock. he knew an addiction to your pussy was forming from this.

he feels his high coming, and his hips move into you in a rushed pace, rutting into you as he finally cums and shoots his load inside you without thinking.

'god, god god god..' he thinks as he slumps down while still being inside you, taking a moment to catch his breath. he was spent and beat. he leans back up, and looks at your cunt thats stuffed with his cock, the sight of it making him shudder. god, so pretty.

he thinks of pulling out, but seeing you makes him think 'to hell with that!' and lifts you up so you sit on his lap, thrusting his hips up into you and continuing ravishing you. the sounds of his cum inside you make the lewdest noises, but it only arouses him further and makes his impact rougher, his arms keeping you up by letting you lean on him.

xiao didn't know how much he played around with your body, but he made sure to clean you up and dress you after he was done. the morning light hits his face and when he opens his eyes, he sees you up and running, looking rather fresh as you spoke in a jolly tone.

"good morning, xiao! god, i havent slept that good in ages!"

he stares at you, and the memory of last night comes rushing in, and his cheeks turn pink, turning even darker when you turn around and make him see his cum dripping out of you through the short shorts he put on you.

[alltoolewis]

2&Trent please

"I can't sleep"- Trent alexander-arnold

Requests are now open 🥳

------

You and trent have been seeing each other for around 4 months now and everything was going perfectly.

You met each others friends and both of your families loved each other,however you still had one big step to do..... you haven't stayed over at each others place.

----

After another amazing evening with eachother it was time to leave, the most dreaded part of the night. Trent gave you a big hug as you walk over to the door, however the second you open it a huge bang shakes through the house.... great a storm.

"I guess ill see you tomorrow" you mumble in his chest, as you go to break from the hug he pulls you back in to him.

"There is no way on earth that i am letting you drive home alone it that... you can stay here with me"

-------

Thats how you found your self in trents bed with one of his old Jerseys and a pair of jogging bottoms, which can i add is the comfiest outfits ever!!!

"Im suprised the lights havent gone out yet" trent appears from outside his bathroom in nothing but his black underarmour shorts.. looking absolutely breathtaking as normal. "Earth to (y/n)!" He chuckles as he noticed you staring to long at his topless state.

He climbs into bed instantly wrapping his arms around you and tugging you in closer to his chest.

"I love you so much (y/n)" he mumbles drifting off to sleep

"I love you too t"

--------

3:43a.m

You still couldn't sleep.. everytime you felt as though you were drifting off another huge strike of lighting and thunder happened... and dont tell anyone but your not the best with storms.

Tossing and turing looking over at trent who looked so peaceful as he slept something that you wish you could do.

"Baby??... you okay??"

Shit you woke him up.. although you were relieved he was finally awake you can't help but feel guilty. You know how much he needed his sleep right now especially with how tight this years fixtures are.

"Im sorry bubs... i can't sleep..but its okay go back to sleep ill-"

Your interrupted as another huge bang of thunder hits. Trent lauging as you jump instantly into his arms.

"Come here baby I've got you.. you can go to sleep nothings going to hurt you" and he was right as long as i was in his arms i knew that nothing was ever going to hurt me.

------

Shoutout to @pikej please go follow them!!! One of the most supportive people ever! ILY

[miss--river]

Jori Ott

so ive been wanting to write something for my OC Jori Ott for a long time. ive never written for any of my OCs before so i was kinda nervous.  dont think this is good at all (yeah i know you’re not supposed to say that because it deters people from wanting to read your work but i dont want be all super confident about it and have someone be like ‘oh she thinks this is good?)

if anyone decides to read this thank you for taking the time to read about my OC! if no one decides to read this then thats ok because i kinda did this for my sake since this is an idea ive been wanting to write anyway.  it turned to be way longer than i thought tbh. it originally was only supposed to be something short to give a little info on her but then i just kinda kept... going.

so as i said this is for my OC Jori Ott and she has a traumatic past that she cant remember and Trelawny raised her as if she was his own daughter. i dont think i write him accurately but honestly... oh well i guess lmao. i wanted him to be an affectionate father figure to her. there are also some specific things i left out simply because i just havent decided on them yet. also i edited this to the best of my ability but if there is anywhere where it says ‘you’ its because im not used to writing in third-person.

the word count is 2,113

Josiah Trelawny, known amongst their group as a conman and trickster, has been there as a father figure for Jori for most of her life.

When Jori was very young her parents were slaughtered and their home set a blaze for reasons unknown to her. Honestly, she can’t even remember anything about her childhood. All she knows is what Trelawny has told her. His expression would change and Jori couldn’t quite explain it. She could tell it hurt him to think about it, though. She had only ever seen him cry once and it was when she was still very little.

The front door to Trelawny’s tiny home was open, letting a cool breeze pass through as she slept on his bed. A shiver woke Jori from her slumber and she shifted under the blanket trying to find a more comfortable position. Before she could get comfortable enough to drift off back to sleep she heard a sniffle. She slowly opened her eyes and spotted Trelawny sitting on the chair he kept outside his door. His laid his lap and it looked like he was holding something. A necklace?

Trelawny let out another sniffle, making Jori more curious as to what was going on. She quietly say up and swing her legs over the side of the bed and tiptoed over to the doorway. When she got close enough she could see he was indeed holing a necklace, or, more accurately, a locket. However, she couldn’t see what was it and was more confused as to why Trelawny would be so upset.

After a third sniffle, Jori softly called his name, startling him. He quickly stuffed the locket in his best pocket and cleared his face of any evidence of tears. His eyes were puffy and red, however, and it broke Jori’s heart to see a normally cheerful Trelawny so miserable. But, despite the pain the was obviously in, he gave her a smile but his eyes still held pain. He may be a trickster but he couldn’t seem to hide anything from Jori. He had to admit, for an 8 year old she was very sharp.

“My dear, what are you doing awake?” His tone was soft.

She wasn’t sure how to answer him. She didn’t want to lie but she also didn’t want to let him know that she had heard him crying. Instead, she climbed into lap, his hat falling to the small, dusty wooden deck. He didn’t care though. Jori wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. “I love you, Josiah. You’re the best dad in the whole world.”

Fresh tears pooled in Trelawny’s eyes as he hugged her back. With some difficulty, he kept his voice from cracking as he replied, “I love you, too.”

Jori hugged him until she eventually fell asleep, slumped on his shoulder. Trelawny carefully carried her back to the and and laid her down without waking her. He pulled the blanket up to her shoulders and placed a light kiss to her top of head.

That was 19 years ago. Jori recalled the night as she got closer the Rhodes saloon. That area was usually empty and she saw it as a good place to finally sit and talk with Trelawny. She wanted to talk to about her childhood, hopefully get some answers about her real parents and why she couldn’t remember anything happened. Trelawny didn’t know that however. Jori was worried that if he knew the reason of the meeting he would refuse.

She walked her horse, Molly, to one of the hitching posts and tied her to it, giving her an affection pat on the neck before ascending the white staircase. There sat Trelawny at table in the corner, steaming cup of tea in front of him and second on the opposite side, waiting for her.

“Ah, Jori!” Trelawny greeted cheerfully and stood up, pulling her into a hug when she was close enough. “I haven’t seen you in weeks! How have you been?”

Jori happily hugged him back then sat in the chair opposite of him. “I’ve been keeping myself busy is all. Even made a few friends.” She picked up the tea Trelawny ordered for her a took sip. She’s never been big on tea but liked it when Trelawny made it.

“Is that so?” He raised a brow. “I hope they’ve been good influences.”

Jori giggled and roll her eyes. “Says the conman who raised me.”

Trelawny just laughed and shook his head. For a while the conversation changed from topic to topic until Jori thought it was finally time to ask about what this meeting was originally for. She could feel the nervousness rising inside her as she gripped the nearly empty tea cup and stared down at the dark liquid.

Trelawny noticed this change in her, his brows knitted together in concern. “Are you alright? Are you suddenly feeling sick?”

“No, no! I’m not feeling sick. It’s just…” Jori trailed off unsure of how to actually bring it up.

“It’s alright, you can tell me.” Trelawny sat up straight, giver her his full attention.

“I just…” Jori cleared her throat trying to find the right words. “I think it’s time that you tell me about my past.”

The atmosphere around them changed and Jori instantly regretted saying anything. She looked up from her cup to Trelawny. Any concern he had was replaced with a look of fear.

Why was he so scared?

Trelawny swallowed hard as a felt a lump in his throat forming. He knew she would ask eventually but he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to bring himself to talk about it. Her parents and him were very close friends. He knew them before they were together. Trelawny subtly clutched at the right pocket in his vest. He could feel Jori’s gaze on him, she was expecting an answer but what was he to say? What he saw that day was gruesome.

“Jori…” he began. His voice was soft as he held back any shakiness in his voice. “I knew your parents for a long time. I was the one who convinced your father to finally talk to your mother. He had been pinning after her for so long.” Despite the pain he was feeling, Trelawny let out a soft chuckle.

“Um,” Jori stopped him before he could go on. “Can you tell me their names?”

“Your father’s name was Henry and your mother’s name was Alice.”

Henry and Alice Ott. You imagined those names trying to see if you could find any memory of them. Unfortunately, you couldn’t even remember their faces.

“He was so taken with her.” Trelawny continued and smiled at the memory. “Unfortunately, she was already with another man.”

“That must have been hard on him. I think if it were me I would have given up, honestly.” Jori has always been a non-confrontational person. She has always preferred to stay out of drama.

“You’re the same as your father in that way.” He gave Jori’s hands a light squeeze as he gave another soft chuckle. Even though she can’t remember her father, hearing that made her feel a little closer to him.

“So, if my mother was already with someone else, how did she and my father get together?” Jori questioned.

“Like I said, it took me a bit of convincing. I don’t know what became of the man but, I do know he was very upset to learn that Alice was leaving him for Henry. He vowed revenge but none of us had seen him since then.”

Jori listened intently, taking in every detail she could.

“I think what drew your mother to your father was his soft nature. Your mother was not one to let people boss her around. She always stood her ground and put up a fight. They were opposites but they both completed each other.”

Trelawny laughed before he continued causing Jori to raise her brows in confusion. “What’s so funny?” She asked.

“I was just thinking… Henry was the kind of person to apologize to you of you spilled soup on his lap.”

Jori couldn’t help but laugh along with him. He was right about her sharing a personality with her father seeing as that was something that had actually happened to her.

“I was Henry’s best man at their wedding. He cried when he saw her in her wedding dress.” He sighed, remembering how hard it was for Henry to get through his vows through his crying. Alice kept her composure the entire time, giving Henry words of encouragement every time he stumbled over his words. “Two years later, Alice got pregnant and you were born. I remember how tiny you were.”

“You were there when I was born?” Jori asked, amazed.

“Well, I wasn’t there for your birth,” he explained. “But, of course I had to see my best friend’s and his wife’s new beautiful baby daughter!” He gave Jori’s hands another squeeze as she giggled.

“Um…” as much as Jori loved hearing about Trelawny’s happy memories with her parents, she really wanted to know about the day of their death. “How much do you about… the fire?”

The lump in Trelawny’s throat reformed and he sighed, mentally preparing himself. His breath was slightly shaky as he let it out slowly and began recounting that day.

“When I got there the house was up in flames. I could see the light from the fire and the smoke on the sky long before I even arrived. But, through the fire, I could hear voices.”

“My parents?” Jori asked, hopefully. She knows their dead but a small part of her was hoping to hear otherwise.

Trelawny shook his head solemnly. “It was a group of men. The leader was… the man your mother left for your father.”

Jori tensed up but didn’t say anything. She imagined how terrified Trelawny must have been arriving to a scene like that.

The images of Henry’s and Alice’s corpses were burned into his memory. The sight was too gruesome for him to even consider telling Jori. Tears stung at his eyes but he held them and continued. “He was going to kidnap you. I don’t want to imagine what he would have done if he had actually gotten away with you.”

This time it was Jori’s turn to give Trelawny’s hands a squeeze. He was usually very well composed but he was having a difficult time keeping it together. His shoulders shook as he fought to keep his tears back and kept swallowing as the lump in his throat just didn’t seem to want to go away. Jori’s heart was breaking seeing him like this.

“Do you remember his name?”

He shook his head. “I never knew his name.”

She sighed in looked down, unsure if even knowing his name would do any good. She’s not one for revenge or murder. Was he even still alive after all this time? Trelawny cleared his throat, pulling her from her thoughts. She watched as he was finally able to recompose himself.

“I’m sorry I never told you.” He said finally.

“It’s ok, I’m not upset.” She reassured him. “But why can’t I remember anything that happened?”

“You fell off his horse as I was stopping him from taking you and you hit your head. I took you to the doctor and he said you suffered a concussion.”

She nodded, soaking in the information. “Thank you, Josiah.”

Jori stood up from her chair, pushing it in. Trelawny followed suit and then walked with her back down the stairs to where her horse was. Suddenly, he remembered the object in his pocket and stopped her before she could climb up into the saddle.

“Oh!” he exclaimed. “This is rightfully yours.”

Jori turned to face him curiously and let out a gasp as he pulled what she recognized at the locket from years ago from the pocket in his vest. He opened it and set it in her hands.

“That’s your father,” he pointed a man with black hair and wearing a fancy black suit. “and your mother.” He pointed to the woman with ginger hair and a green dress. “You are her spitting image.” He smiled.

He was right, it felt like she was looking at herself from a different time. Jori put the locket around her neck and thanked Trelawny once again. She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “I love you, Josiah. You’re the best dad in the whole world.”

Trelawny hugged her back just as tightly as he chuckled, remembering that night from 19 years ago. “I love you, too.”

[provider-of-pronoun-checks]

hello again :]

my cat has decided that she likes to sit under my blankets, speciffically under my legs/knees. i honestly dont blame her tho, its really cold in my house (its near the end of autumn/fall here)

i thought you deserved to know this :]

also i havent slept yet (its been 21 hrs) and ive had 4 monsters within 16 of them, and im surprised im still awake from how exhausted i am (ive stayed up longer ive just been excersizing for the first time in like 1yr6months the past couple of days). also i know you'll probably tell me to go to sleep but 1: ive got a cat under my legs so i cant lay down without disturbing her and i dont wanna disturb her, and 2: insomnia wont let me, i tried 5hrs ago for like 3hrs

now, im very sorry that this probably makes no sense, i am very tired and drank a lot of caffeine so yea, also, probably shared more then i meant to but i cant really remember how much i was gonna share so 🙃

-🦇

Woah really :0 it's mid-springish now I think!

C A T !!! /POS.

I mean, that's fair ig. Cat! But, if you can at some point sleep. Lots of hours.up.

It makes sense ! I do the same thing but I don't need caffeine to do it >:]

[bondsmagii]

i had a dream last night that i slept in a bed with my two middle school best friends, one of whom might be dead (i dont know and thats the hard part) and the other i havent talked to in 6 years. in the dream it felt like a peaceful goodbye, but now that im awake i dont want to let go yet. i still miss them. any advice for when you miss old friends and never got closure?

honestly, it's the same as all grief, I'm afraid -- time. I think something that's very important to remember is that moving on will look different depending on the circumstances, and some things will stay with you forever. the sooner you accept that, the better. there are things out there that will hurt for the rest of your life, but the thing is, it won't always be so overwhelming or so sharp. it'll be an occasional thing -- sadness one morning after a dream, a sting when you remember something. with time, you'll be able to acknowledge those moments and then carry on with your day. it'll just become another part of daily life, and if it sounds horrible now, it really won't be. humans are very adaptable. you'll adjust, and won't seem so consuming. it'll be alongside your life, not tangled up in it.

if you can find out about your friend who might be dead, I'd recommend it. it's easier to move on as best as you can when you have solid answers. do some digging; don't be afraid to ask questions and try to get them passed down to somebody who might know. if you can't find out, see it as a kind of death anyway -- and this goes for both of your friends. death does not necessarily have to mean biological death. things die all the time -- phases, situations, friendships, interests, even love. these are all a kind of death, and they're all just as natural. sometimes things reach their natural end, and it's time to leave them behind and move on to the next thing. even if both of your old friends are alive and well, they're no longer in your life and likely never will be again. they're gone, and in a sense they have died a death. it's time for you to accept this, to allow yourself to grieve, and then to move forward to the next thing. time will do the rest.

in a way, it's a good thing that you're dreaming about them. dreams are very often your brain's way of processing complicated situations and especially emotions; to be dreaming of them likely means that your brain is ready to process the loss and accept it. give yourself time and patience, but try not to get too caught up in it. there will come a day where the positive feelings outweigh the loss, and even the sadness will be tinged with nostalgia -- a more pleasant kind of grief, in this case. but really, it's always about time.

[ladyvesuvia]

OMG CONGRATS ON 100 FOLLOWERS!!!

🍰 - i’m shy, but also outgoing. i love cats, too! (idc about gender lol)

argus filch, imagine taking care of mrs. norris together jk i love u

or professor mcgonagall cos her animagus is a cat purrrr jk omg im sorry i havent slept yet and i ate loads of chocolate and im pretty sure it does better on keeping me awake than caffeine does

ok i’m bad at shipping but i’d say ✨ hermione granger ✨

she’d prolly hype you up and keep your outgoing side shining but she would still respect your boundaries omfg i love her i wanna keep her and the cats part made me think of chilling with her and crookshanks in the common room or wherever 💗👄💗

join my tea party!

[toyourliking]

it’s insomnia time buckaroo

[dumbcuckbucket]

i uhh wrote a thing and i just need to put it somewhere and forget it exists.

no one talks about the ugly nights when youre chronically ill. you hear about the bad nights, the dangerous nights, and occasionally even the good nights. but you rarely hear about the nights when someone lays awake in bed, crying from pain that they cant stop and wondering why the fuck they deserve to feel this way.

why am i, at twenty, so tired of living in so much pain all the time, that im questioning life? not in a suicidal way, let me make that very clear. ive been actively suicidal before, and this is different. i want to stop existing, but i dont want to die. i simply want to stop hurting.

why is it that when the sun comes up and ive gotten little to no sleep, my body still screaming in pain, must i pretend i am okay? brush it off as simply a life i am used to and thats that. i am used to it, but why must that be okay? why must i exist this way?

around nine i will roll out of bed and pretend my joints dont burn and that my head doesnt weep and act as if i havent spent the better part of the night terrified of how my illness will affect my future and silently sobbing about it. i’ll feed my dog and take him out. there’s some fresh air. its nice, but i’m tired. i want to lay down again.

i’ll shower, which will take so much of my energy that i do not have anymore. i’ll make phone calls. it seems like all my life is is phone calls, and then spaces between calls where life moves around me and i make no progress. i’ll call my doctor and ask for blood tests to see if my meds are working. i’ll call a different doctor to make sure my referral was granted by my other doctor. if it hasnt been, i’ll call that doctor.

i have an appointment at 11. its supposed to help. im getting screened for adhd and other mental disabilities that may be affecting my studies. what doesnt affect my studies anymore? im stressed about work, im stressed about my family, im stressed about covid and money and my studies and i am so tired. its supposed to help. i am already so resigned to hear that theres nothing wrong, because nothing is ever wrong if i dont fight and get different opinions. i am so fucking tired of fighting. i hope i get the help i need, because i dont think i can keep trying to get it.

my mom died. did i tell you that? two years ago, right after i moved away for college. her birthday is in 9 days. i wish i could talk to her. its hard, holding resentment for someone because of how they treated you while missing them so deeply it feels like a bullet wound.

her funeral was weird. it never really hit me that she died. i mean, i know shes dead. ive known. but when the treatments stopped and the cancer spread, she died long before her heart stopped. i wish i had better memories. i know there had to be good ones there, but i only remember the bad and the dying.

its crazy that of all the things that could be wrong with me, its chronic shitting disease. it feels like a joke. trying to talk about a chronic illness in almost any setting is hard enough. imagine that chronic illness relating to poop. it sucks.

after my appointment i have to go pick up a prescription. i hope it helps. it needs to help, because i am so tired of doctors and phone calls and the ever piling list of meds that dont work. having medication lists sent to new doctors and having to say “no i stopped that one when i started this one” and “that one didnt work” over and over and over gets exhausting. i don’t remember half of the meds they name anymore.

my roommates dont understand. i wish they did. they dont realize how hard it is for me to brush my teeth, let alone cook and clean. then to have to socialize with them at the end of the day feels like pulling teeth. i love them. theyre my best friends, my tether to life when i feel like im floating while the world moves without me. i just wish they understood.

i’ll try to go to class after i get my prescription. i’ll log on and ignore it, like i always do. i’ll lay down in bed with my computer muted, looking through twitter or looking at etsy. anything to not deal with the real world for a few minutes. the real world is so exhausting.

im still crying, but its fine. this is my life, its how it is. im used to it. its okay. (a lie, but a good one).

i’ll call my dad. i’ll lie when he asks how i am. i’ll tell him im tired because i havent slept well this week (lie of omission). he’ll ask how im feeling. i’ll tell him im fine (a direct lie). ill tell him about my appointment and my new inhaler and all the calls ive made. i’ll make a joke about how much it all fucking sucks (not a joke, but my tone doesnt let the truth out). he’ll tell me about his days off. he’ll tell me about work, and the grocery shopping he did, and how he still has laundry and that he hasnt done anything in the garage yet. he’ll tell me what hes making for dinner. i’ll say it sounds good (a lie; nothing sounds good to me anymore) and i’ll say im jealous (a truth; i miss his food). we’ll sit in silence for a bit, then he’ll say “well i gotta get going” and we’ll say goodbye. he’ll say i love you. i’ll say it back (the final truth). one of us will remember something to talk about. we’ll say goodbye again.

i’ll lay down again, and while the sun is out i wont think about how much i hate this. how i, at twenty, dont deserve this. how i have had my future robbed from me so i can make calls and appointments and run through a mile long list of medications.

my dog will lay down with me, and i will feel guilty for not taking him to the park to play.

i’ll remember i have to pay rent. i get up to do it. i bring my dog, and we go to the park. he runs himself hard, so we only stay for half an hour. we’ll go home, he’ll be happy, and i’ll be exhausted. i’ll go lay down and vaguely think about my school work. i wont do it. i’ll let my roommates decide what we do for the night. i’ll try to make some food, or order something. they’ll make fun of me, not realizing it hurts that they dont see that being alive is so hard for me. they dont understand, but thats okay. it has to be okay.

ive stopped crying. my knees and ankles and elbows and fingers still hurt. my stomach churns and my head is pounding, but im used to it. its okay. it has to be okay.

[pbandjesse]

Happy Halloween!! I hope you all are having a great day. And I really hope you all can see the special moon tonight! Right now its slightly cloudy so I havent seen it yet but there is still time 

I felt a little better today. I feel a lot better right now. But that wasnt true all day.   Last night was hard. I was half asleep when James got home. And then was half awake pretty much all night. Like every time there was a sound I would like focus on it. And sweetP was pushing on the door and making noise and I kept getting a song stuck in a loop in my head and it was just not fun. 

So our alarm goes off at 7 and I was like. Hey I just. Cant. And slept until 9. James came back for me but I was not doing good. My mouth still hurt really bad. And I was just sore everywhere. I felt weak. He brought me the breakfast sandwich he made me and some berries. But I couldnt taste anything so it was a struggle. 

I knew I wanted to go out into nature today. I told James this. And he said he would be ready whenever I wanted to leave. 

So I pulled myself out of bed and got showered and dressed. I braided my hair and put glitter all over my face and I felt really cute and started to feel better. 

We drove out to a trail head James had biked to before. And it was really beautiful. I tried to take some instax photos but the lighting was apparently to dark and they didnt come out. But thats okay. The nature was really pretty. I climb on a fallen tree. James climbed on a big rock. We found a sculpture in the woods? The leaves were so nice and the weather was cold but in the best way. 

Most people at least put a mask up as they went past us. A few people didnt even seem to have masks with them and that was annoying but we didnt say goodmorning to them so I hope they know we thought they were rude. There was a lot of mud and I slipped at one point. But we were holding hands so I didnt fall for long but i did bump my knee and it got wet and I was sad about that. So when we found a bunch we sat for a little while.

Then I got really hungry all of a sudden. So we turned around and took the path back to the car. 

We decided to go to the BBQ place James's likes. I got a bunch of sides. He got ribs. We shared cornbread. The boy at the window told us that he has been encouraging people to vote and someone got really mad and called in to try to get him fired. Wild. I hope he's alright. 

We went home. Had out lunch. And celebrated sweetP's birthday! He is 6 today! James had given him some cream cheese for breakfast and for lunch we let him lick the rib bones. He also had a little potato salad and corn bread. The food was great and I enjoyed the company. 

After lunch I did some cleaning. James worked on the kitchen while I picked up the rest of the apartment. It made me feel better. 

Soon though James had to go to work. And I was sad. But I wished him luck and promised we would do the halloween stuff on our island when he got home. 

When he left I went to lay in the studio to watch a video. I got cold so I put my skeleton costume on. And laid down. But then there was so much music outside. I forgot about the kid parade of costumes. I watched them for a little bit but they had bruno mars music blasting so loud for almost 3 hours. It was not the greatest. 

I was able to fall asleep but it was still loud when I woke up. I got up though and worked on a few little projects. Tried to be positive. 

It was about 5 and thats when the Animal Crossing Halloween stuff started! So while I would save most of it for when James got home I did play for a little. I am slightly sad that none of my villagers think Im wearing a costume. So I have to carry around a mask so they will give me candy. And I won a few of the things I really wanted. I had to get off though because if a villager sees you they ask for candy and I wanted to make sure I had enough for when James got back here. 

The island did throw a little party for sweetP's birthday though and that was fun. They had cupcakes and a pinata. It was very cute. I took so many pictures. 

I hung out and worked on stuff for the instagram store tomorrow. I accidently deleted all my drafted posts so I had to retype the captions all up again but I did it on a google doc I can grab from. Frustrating but I will make it work. 

Eventually I took a bath. Listened to spooky stories. Made a taco. Sang songs to sweetP. Its been a good night. 

I hope James comes home soon. And I hope the moon comes out. And I hope we all sleep easy tonight. Take care of yourselves. Be safe!!