#im still like... leo... theres other people in the room... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shreddeddescent · 8 months ago

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OKAY!!!!

okay. so. i want to share this for anyone who is like.... cool about this worst case scenario bullshit i keep talking about. i think im writing it kinda good or at least in a compelling way, and honestlyyyy i just wanna post shit to be like hey. im having fun with it, and i think its really interesting to see how it all turns out. i think its been fun every other time ive posted about it, you guys seem to like it, but this is the part that will come off the most weird. if you dont know, ive tagged all previous things in this timeline as #wcs (worst case scenario)

so i think yall get this is like. the fucked up timeline. but like that its the going to be okay timeline too.

to explain more about it if you dont know, lets just say like. shredder did the fucked up thing he wanted. i think ive made that clear in previous posts about this. shredders dead now. they had to deal with the consequences of what he did to them. if the implications of that squick you out its totally fine. if youre not sure what i mean, im sorry. you DO NOT need to read further. but theres nothing specific about it here, this is just alllll the result of that. the results will be made clear by the end.

they went to big mama's hotel to get help from her with said consequences. its been dealt with. theyre now just recovering, being normal kids, still going to therapy. they're coping. but big mama's help always comes with a cost, but they havent figured out what that cost was yet.

so like. its been fun to explore in writing. IF YOURE WILLING to hear me out about all the fucked up shit turning out okay, feel free to read further. even if it sounds weird. i hope everyone can just be like.... respectful.

this doesnt have to be canon to the rest of my au, but if youve enjoyed it when ive talked about it....this is a big reveal shit for that timeline. if you are cool about everything im implying so far.

if youre not, again, you dont have to read forward. this isnt mature rated or anything, its just the implications of what the characters have been through are dark.

but the characters are going to be okay. and this right here is the reason they will be.

okay? okay. please be fucking nice.

missing context would be: raph saw someone in their room the night before, but he thinks he made it up. donnie also saw what he thinks was a ghost.

they went out for breakfast, and raph saw a turtle yokai he couldnt help but chase to the elevator who said her name was jennika, but she really wouldnt look him in the eye. and then they all discussed whether shredder had another experiment done before they existed.

questioning their origins, donnie and mikey scout the pool for recon as leo and raph come back from their joint therapy session with big mama.

The elevator door opened and they stepped out into the pool area. It seemed to be a rooftop pool, but the elevator had felt like it was going down. The view was the highest they’d seen, and yet the air was warmer than it had been in their room. And there was no wind, unlike their room.

They looked around and spotted their brothers, Donnie was sitting on the edge of the pool with his feet in, looking at his phone, while Mikey was doing laps.

Leo grabbed Raph’s arm and the two of them wandered over.

“Hey guys.” He said. “How’s the mission going?”

Donnie looked up and looked around. “No other turtles spotted here.”

Mikey jumped out of the water with a splash. “Yeah, just old people really. I don’t think they liked us.”

“You were doing cannonballs, that's why.”

Raph wandered over to the edge of the roof, resting his hands on the railing and staring out at the city. It was so high. Higher than fathers tower was. In fact he could see Foot Tower in the distance, dwarfed by this view.

He was above it. He was beyond it. But god were they ever high.

He felt Leo walk up behind him. “I hate this view.”

He sighed and nodded. “I’m surprised I don’t feel sick. I hate heights.”

He felt him step beside him and press his shoulder against his. “I know what you mean… it’s like it’s not a real height. There’s none of that wind whipping in your face. Like a big realistic dome with a view.”

Raph nodded, squinting out at the view. “The feeling of the window was freezing.. like ice. And here there’s no wind at all.”

“Me and Slash got Big Mama to tell us there’s some kind of cross dimensional portals between the floors.. that there’s protection magic around the floors. I wonder if something broke the one by our window.”

Raph tapped his fingers against the railing.

“Maybe…”

“You okay..?”

He looked up at him nervously.

“I’m… scared, honestly.. and I’m not sure why.”

Leo smiled down at him. “We’re gonna be okay. We got this, partner.” He held out his fist for a bump.

Raph ignored it to give him a tight hug.

Leo rubbed his back lightly and looked back over at the twins.

“Should we get the raisins out of here? Or do you want more recon?”

Raph sighed and let go. “I think I’d like to stay out of the room for a while. Try and relax.”

“Didn’t bring a bathing suit. Mikeys got those shorts, but you’re wearing jeans.”

Raph shook his head and looked around at what other yokai were wearing. Some were in bathing suits, others looked more naked from what he could tell.

He wasn’t sure if he was comfortable being naked though, shell or not.

“Maybe I’ll just sit.” He said as he spotted a lounge chair to the side.

Leo walked past him to go talk to the twins again and he watched them. He felt like a mom again. Out with her kids. At least he didn’t look like Splinter this time. Bathrobe and all.

It was about noon and the sun was shining, so it was getting busier the longer they stayed out here. But he just sat in the warm sun and let himself feel calm, he watched Mikey try and splash Donnie to coax him in, watched Leo strip down to his sweatpants to wrestle with their baby brother in the pool.

At some point Donnie wandered over to hand him his electronics and he smiled at him.

“You wanna get in?” Raph asked him, surprised.

He shrugged. “Might as well live in the moment for once. It is a nice day, and we’re not too weird here.”

“You want me to help you with your braces?”

“Nah, I’ll need them. I don’t care if they get wet.” He pulled his hoodie off and Raph stared at him. He never went anywhere without something on his chest.

He was surprised how weird it felt to see him like that in public. Donnie was somewhat round like Raph, but had more masculine features, for a turtle. But no muscle definition. Even in the cage he’d been wearing his hoodie. But he was feeling more free right now. Maybe this place was good for them.

Donnie pointed at his phone and headphones.

“If you don’t wanna join, you can like... Read or listen to music. There’s free wifi here.”

Raph hummed and put the headphones on.

“Thanks Donnie…”

He shrugged and made his way into the pool to try doing laps. Which for him was holding the edge the whole time.

Raph eyed the phone and looked through his music. Not much he recognized. He found Queen though, and decided to play that and close his eyes. Letting himself be a turtle basking in the sunlight for about 20 minutes.

He sensed someone sit near him and opened his eyes.

A tall furry lion Yokai was in his sunlight, looking down at him.

And suddenly he felt uncomfortable.

They seemed to be talking to him so he pulled the headphones off.

“Huh?”

“I said kinda a weird look for the pool. The jeans.”

Raph looked down at himself and back up.

“Yeah. Wasn’t planning on coming to the pool.”

He gestured over to his brothers with his head.

“Those your kids?”

Raph furrowed his brows and looked over at his brothers. They seemed to be having fun splashing each other.

“Kinda, yeah?”

“Huh. That one your… husband?”

Raph felt his face flush as he looked over at Leo.

“No, that’s my brother.”

He raised his brows and smirked. “So you’re a single mom?”

‘Female female female!’

His body felt cold despite the heat from the sun.

“Sorry, bet they dragged you out here without a bathing suit. Shame, you look like you’ve got a good figure…”

‘You’re going to get assaulted again!’

His heart was pounding in his chest. He looked in Leo’s direction desperately, needing someone to help him.

“Hey kid.” A deep familiar voice behind him said as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

The lion looked over him nervously.

Raph watched as the backside of a tall muscular turtle stepped into view, shielding him from the Lion’s gaze. They were wearing flowery swim trunks.

“That’s my son you’re talking to. He’s 17. Do I need to call security?” The voice said angrily. “Or are you gonna fuck off?”

Raph tried to quiet his beating heart. He felt like he might throw up. He felt like Slash might jump out.

And yet… This turtle made him feel safe.

“U-uh no problem man! My bad!” The lion quickly rose up and left. And the turtle took the chair and sat down beside him.

Raph looked at him nervously.

Broad shouldered and maybe 30 years old, his skin was a dull light green, his plastron wide and pointier than Raph had ever seen. Thick legs and strong arms. He looked tired but smiled warmly at him with wide, kind eyes.

“Are you okay?”

Raph stared at him nervously, pressing his hand to his chest.

“I-I might be having a panic attack…” he said softly.

The turtle reached out to offer his hand.

“You want me to count for breathing?”

Raph nodded quickly, taking his hand.

“In one two three four… out one two three four...”

He closed his eyes and followed the turtle's instructions. After a few minutes he felt okay again and stared down at the hand in his.

Two fingers. Their hands were so similar, but his were much larger.

He looked up at his face. He’d seen those eyes.

In the dark.

“It’s.. it’s you.”

He grunted softly in affirmation.

“You keep trying to get into trouble.”

Raph stared at him hard. He wanted to look away but he was terrified the man would disappear.

“What.. What's your name?”

“Kirby.”

“W-why are you following me? Why were you…”

“I just said you keep getting into trouble.”

Raph felt his eyes water as he stared at him.

“I-I’m not trying to, I thought I could just… be out in public, but I guess I’m too much of a s-slut…”

Kirby winced and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and holding Raph's hand in both of his, staring at him so kindly.

“You’re not. People always want to take advantage of you. I’m sorry, it’s not fair.”

“W-why do you know that..? W-who are you..?”

He shook his head. “Just someone who cares.”

“D-do you know Jennika..?”

He laughed. A familiar laugh. “Yeah. We know each other.”

“Why… why did she cry when she looked at me?”

He shrugged. “She’s got complicated feelings. Hard to explain.”

“I-I’m not scared of you. I should be, I don’t know you…”

“You kinda know me though.” He said, a weird glint in his eye.

Raph grunted and stared at him frustrated. “Why are you so vague and annoying?”

He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t know. Ah. Leo’s noticed. You should be fine now.” He pulled away from his grasped hand.

“Hey!” They heard Leo yell from the edge of the pool.

Raph didn’t turn. He watched Kirby bolt up and give him a salute before disappearing into the crowd, he presumed to the elevator.

Raph just stared blankly at the space he’d been.

Leo sat in front of him, dripping wet and waving his hand in front of his face.

“Are you okay?! Did he hurt you?!”

Raph looked up at him and shook his head slowly. “No… h-he… uh, saved me..? There was.. a guy trying to…” he closed his eyes and winced. “He saved me.” He looked back at Leo, who looked worried.

“What did he say? Did you get anything out of him?”

Raph rolled onto his back and stared at the pool.

“His name’s Kirby. He says I keep getting into trouble. He pretended he was my dad to make a guy leave… I.. I felt really safe.”

Leo groaned and lay back on the chair. “What the hell is going on…?”

“I-I didn’t want him to leave..” he whispered and held himself. His heart hurt.

Leo looked at him sadly. “Raph..?”

“I-I knew him… h-he said I knew him…”

Leo frowned and rubbed his neck. “Maybe it’s like.. You said he pretended to be your dad. Maybe it’s not pretend. Maybe he’s our real dad. Maybe he’s our dad, and Jennika’s our mom and that’s where we really came from.”

Raph looked up at him. “Jennika wasn’t female… she.. she had a plastron like you, not me. Her tail was long. A-and dad.. dad was so clear our human stuff is his… They couldn’t have made us.”

He sighed. “Let’s just imagine we get to come from somewhere better though, yeah..?”

He looked up at him sadly and nodded.

“O-okay…”

“Do you want to go back to the room..? Cuz we can go…”

He looked over at the twins and saw they were just splashing each other. It looked fun.

“I.. I wanna join, but…” he looked down at himself. He couldn’t swim in these jeans. It was naked or nothing. And he couldn’t do naked.

Leo smiled and bumped his shoulder.

“Trade pants. These are fine.”

Raph blinked and shook his head.

“Then you’ll be in wet jeans…”

“Eh, it’ll dry.” He picked up a rolled towel from a rack nearby and held it up in front of Raph as a privacy barrier.

“C'mon, you go have fun for a minute.”

He groaned and relented, unzipping his jeans and pulling them off. Leo dropped the towel on his lap for privacy and quickly undid his wet sweatpants and passed them to him. Raph put them on, they were a little snug and too long but it was stretchier than the jeans. Leo put the jeans on and smiled.

“See? Easy. I’ll watch the stuff, you go swim.”

Raph eyed him nervously and unzipped his hoodie.

He wondered if Yokai had weird gender rules even without nipples.

He tried not to let it bother him, Leo was being nice and it would be a waste to make him do all that and then just chicken out.

He tossed the hoodie on the pile and decided to jump in.

He let himself float on his stomach for a while, feeling the refreshing water and the sun on his back. He probably looked like a corpse.

He felt someone jump on him and whipped around, seeing Mikey had decided to clamber on his back.

“Raph’s here!” He cheered and hugged him.

Raph laughed a little and shoved him off. “Careful, I’m not that strong a swimmer.”

He looked around. Leo waved at him from the lounge chair.

Someone splashed him and he turned, seeing Donnie holding on to the side of the pool.

Raph beamed. “Oh? We’re doing a splash off now?”

Donnie yelped and started swimming away.

Raph laughed and chased after him, Mikey was cheering from the center of the pool.

“You can escape Donnie! Kick those legs!”

Raph caught up and waved his arm at him, causing a big splash to hit him in the face.

“Nooooo!” He cried dramatically and pretended to sink.

Raph laughed and dove under water, grabbing him around his middle and standing up straight in the shallow end to carry him over his shoulder.

“I caught you!”

Donnie shrieked and laughed, pounding on the back of his shell. “Stoooop!”

“I’ll save you!” Mikey rammed into Raph who dramatically threw Donnie into the deep end.”

And then Donnie didn’t come back up for too long.

“Shit.” Raph dove down and saw him sinking, he grabbed his arm and swam up, dragging him back to the shallow end of the pool and stood holding him up.

He was sputtering and struggling to breathe.

Raph held him against his chest and climbed out of the pool with him and patted him on his back.

“Cough it up, you’re okay.” Raph tried. He was trying not to freak out and placed him on the ground to sit.

He was still wheezing

Someone touched his shoulder and he turned to see a sweet turtle face smiling sadly at him. “I can help.” She said as she pushed him out of the way and waved her hand in front of Donnie’s chest.

She was gaunt. Her arms and knees were wrapped in some kind of bandages, and she was wearing a strange one piece swimsuit on top that fit around her shell. The shell looked too big for her body, slightly off center.

She waved her two fingered hand from chest up to his nose, and a floating bubble of water came out of Donnie’s mouth and then dissipated on the ground.

Donnie stared at her in awe. “W-water bending?” He was panting and taking croaky breaths.

She laughed a little and smiled, confused.

“I don’t know what that means. Simple magic. Are you okay?”

Donnie was clapping himself on the plastron, trying to breathe without croaking. She rubbed his shoulder.

Raph looked between them. Their skin was the same deep blue green. She looked like she could be his older sister.

“I-I think I’m okay…” he glared up at Raph. “Why would you throw me in the deep end?!”

He kept staring at the woman.

She turned to look at him and gave him a sad smile. “His knees aren’t strong enough to keep himself afloat. Maybe with some practice.”

He kept staring at her. She was his height, and much thinner. But she had the same flat plastron and short tail.

“…how do you know that?” He asked.

She laughed sadly and looked down at her own limbs. “Experience.”

Raph looked down and realized that her feet weren’t actually on the ground. She was hovering 2 inches above it.

Donnie seemed to follow his gaze and his eyes went wide.

“Are.. you the ghost?” He asked quietly.

She turned to look down at him and rolled her eyes. “Do I look like a ghost? I’m quite corporeal.”

Donnie looked up at her frustratedly. “You know what I’m talking about.”

She tapped her chin in thought. “Do I?”

He groaned.

Raph put his hand on her arm gently.

“I.. I know you…” he said quietly.

She turned to look back at him with sad eyes.

“We’ve never met. I’m Venus.”

“I’ve… never met another female turtle…” he couldn’t help but say.

She tilted her head sadly. “No.. I guess you haven’t.”

“I-I’m sorry…” he said suddenly.

He didn’t know why he was sorry.

She laughed a little. “You don’t have to be sorry, it’s not bad to be female.” Then her eyes got sad. “But I guess that’s to be expected…”

Donnie shot up and stepped between them.

“How are you floating? Is that like something you were born with or can you learn? Does it help with weight distribution? Is that why you do it? If I could do that I bet it would help. Oh but then you wouldn’t be exercising your knees…”

She blinked and sighed playfully, placing a hand on her hip. “You are too inquisitive.”

Raph stared between them. They had the same snout. The same smug look on their faces.

“Venus…” he said softly.

She turned to look at him. She saw something in his eye and winced, looking away.

“Anyway, I’m glad you’re okay, kid. Don’t go swimming where you can’t stand up, and keep a brother with you at all times in the water!” She saluted and seemed to float away.

Raph wanted to chase her but he just… let her go.

Donnie groaned and looked at him funny. “She could have taught me magic! Bones don’t hurt magic!”

Raph looked down at him sadly, he knew there were tears in his eyes and Donnie’s expression confirmed it.

“Raph what’s wrong..?”

“Sh-she looked just like you…”

He scoffed and folded his arms. “Hardly. She was thin and agile.”

He shook his head and reached out to touch Donnie’s snout. “She had your snout.. your skin.”

Donnie was looking more nervous as Raph looked at him. He pushed Raph’s hand off him. “She can’t have been my mother. Shredder would have seen her as useless damaged goods. Maybe there’s just.. turtle yokai out there who come in such variety that she somewhat looked like me.”

Raph rubbed his arm. He was right, if she was chronically in pain like Donnie, and small and female like Raph… she would have been dead to their father.

“You’re not sure though…” Raph said. Donnie was making a face.

He sighed. “Hereditary illnesses are a thing, I suppose. But I don’t think she was old enough… unless she was… you know, younger than us when it happened.”

“Which Shredder would never have done, obviously..” Raph rolled his eyes and hugged his arms, turning away.

“Sorry…” Donnie mumbled.

He sighed and looked over. “I’m sorry I threw you in the deep end, I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking ‘don’t let him crack his head’ more than I was thinking ‘he needs to hold on to the edge to stay up’.”

Donnie shrugged and leaned against him. “I get it. We’re not used to pools and stuff. Thanks for jumping in after me.”

Raph smiled and rubbed his back. “I mean it would be shitty of me to let you drown don’t you think?”

Donnie grunted and nodded. “Extremely shitty cuz it would have been your fault yeah. Still. Thank you.”

“Are you as done with pool time as I am?”

“Yeeees..” He whined. “Need to recharge.”

Raph laughed and nodded, giving his head a kiss. “Okay.”

They wandered back over to Leo and towelled themselves off, Leo stared up at them questioningly. “How did the recon go? I hope that was what the FAKE drowning was?”

Donnie rolled his eyes as he was letting Raph rub his back dry so he could put his hoodie back on.

“Unfortunately that was a real almost drowning. I am fine, thank you for asking.”

Leo winced and stood up. “Shit, sorry. Are you okay?”

“Fine. She literally water bended the pool water out of my throat. And she was FLOATING! Did you see that?” He couldn’t contain his excitement.

Raph pat his shoulder and decided he should collect Mikey while Donnie got him up to speed.

He turned to the pool and didn’t see him.

Mama turtle went in overdrive.

“Mikey?” He called out, darting between people in the crowd.

The more he looked the more worried he got.

‘Idiot, you almost kill ONE brother and LOSE the other?’

He groaned and smacked his head. “Shut up Slash.”

That was new but he couldn’t blame him.

He did a lap around the pool and saw the backside of a turtle behind the bar to the side. He rushed over and realized this turtle was bigger than him.

“Jennika.” He breathed.

She turned in surprise and he could see Mikey behind her, smiling up at him.

“Oh, hi Raph!”

He whimpered and rushed forward, ignoring her to grab him around his shoulders.

“Where did you go! I was worried!”

He grabbed his arms and pushed him back.

“I’m fine! I made a friend, see?” He held his hand out to Jennika, who was standing awkwardly beside them. She was wearing a big white t shirt and baggy trunks.

“Sorry, you… guys were distracted and I wanted to make sure he was safe somewhere…” she barely looked at him.

That hurt for some reason.

“Thanks…” he stood back up, keeping his hand on Mikey’s shoulder to make sure he knew where he was. “I.. sorry, I shouldn’t.. assume things but. You’re… not female like me, are you..?”

She blinked and shook her head. “Uh… no. I used to be… sad. About that.”

A new emotion came over him and he gave her a look of awe.

“Are you… trans..?”

She gave him a surprised look. “Is that… okay?”

Raph could feel his eyes water but he smiled big. “I… I’ve never met a.. I mean, you’re a turtle like me, and you’re.. trans too! A-and that.. makes me happy, I-I don’t know.. sorry, I’m not… not trying to be weird.”

She smiled and shook her head, her eyes were wet too.

“No, it’s not weird, I really get it…” she rubbed her arm. “I didn’t know uh…” she coughed and shook her head. “No, I guess I’d always hoped you were. I didn’t understand myself.”

Raph was confused by her words but kept smiling at her.

“You’re beautiful.” He told her. He didn’t know why he felt the need to tell her that. It was overwhelming seeing someone like him out in the world.

She stared at him with a shocked smile. Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

“O-oh…” she sniffed and then laughed, rubbing her eyes. “F-fuck, can I hug you? Th-this is a lot but..”

Raph reached in instantly to wrap his arms around her. He just wanted to make her feel as happy as he felt seeing her. She was taller than him and thicker up top, but she was just a beautiful turtle girl to him.

She seemed to be crying above him as she held him back.

Mikey wandered over and smiled up at her. “See, she’s a friend Raph!”

The two of them parted and Jennika got down on her knee to idly punch his shoulder.

“You’re a good judge of character, but you still shouldn’t run off with people. Not here. There’s bad guys here. Only trust turtles, got that little man?”

He made a determined face and nodded. “Got it.”

Jennika then leaned in to hug Mikey. It looked like a bone crushing hug. Mikey just took it and tried to hug her back just as strongly.

Raph looked between them. They looked.. so similar. She looked like if Mikey had been well loved as a child and grown up strong.

The idea was making him cry again.

“Jennika!” They heard a voice call out.

Raph looked over and saw Kirby again. He was standing by the elevator and waving her over, he looked frustrated to see Raph again, and maybe a little sad.

Jennika looked up and wiped her eyes. “Shit. That’s my brother, he’s gonna give me a talking to…” She muttered slightly annoyed.

Raphs eyes snapped up at her. “Kirby’s your brother?”

She winced and rubbed her neck. “Uh, it’s been nice talking!”

She shuffled away.

Raph was shaking suddenly.

“W-wait!” He started to run but they both looked at him inside the elevator with a sorrowful look and then disappeared.

And he dropped to his knees.

Mikey put his hands on his shoulders. “Raph? What’s wrong? Is it the voices again?”

But his head was silent, save for a ringing in his ears. He stared at the elevator blankly. It opened again and they weren’t there anymore.

He wasn’t sure how long he was staring, he knew Donnie and Leo had wandered up holding all of their stuff, and it took the three of them to lift him off the ground.

“What happened, Raph?” Leo asked gently as they walked his body towards the elevator.

He just stared inside. He hoped to god they’d just reappear and let him ask the burning question on his mind.

He couldn’t say this out loud until he knew.

The elevator door closed and it was just him and his brothers again.

‘You’re right.’

He whipped his head around to look, but realized the voice was Slash again.

“W-what do you mean I’m right?!”

His brothers looked at him funny but he paid them no mind.

‘You know who they are. And you’re right. Big Mama told me the first time you let me out, she wasn’t gonna crush the eggs. She said we’d never see them again. She lied.’

“B-but that makes no sense Slash! Th-they’re too old! I-it’s been a week!”

‘I don’t know. But you know that’s who they are.’

Raph slammed his head against the wall and shook it hard.

“N-no!”

Leo grabbed his shoulder and looked him in the eye. “Raph. Talk to me. What happened?”

Raph looked around the elevator in a panic. Mikey and Donnie looked scared of him, scared of what was happening.

“I-I… not here… I-in the room..”

He didn’t want anyone's secret eyes on him right now. He couldn’t trust Big Mama. Leo was right. Why had they bothered to talk to her at all today? They were better off on their own!

The door opened on their floor and they quickly rushed back inside their freshly cleaned room. Raph checked every room, every cranny. The windows were closed and no one was hiding in the corners.

After his panicked rushing he sat on the freshly cleaned sofa and tried to calm his breathing.

His brothers all stood in front of him in the conversation pit. None of them wanted him out of sight.

“Raph.” Leo said sternly. He looked up and saw them all staring at him with worried eyes.

He looked between them. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “It won’t make sense. But nothing here does. There’s.. magic and portals and dimensional travel…”

“At this point no theory is too out there.” Donnie said.

He opened his eyes and looked at them all seriously.

“They’re our kids.”

#wcs #writing #UHHHHHHHHH ANYWAYYYYYYYYY IM HAVIGN FUN OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!#LEMME KNOWWWWWWW WHAT U THINK......... okay bye #get seperated au'd mother FUCKER #please be fucking nice though. like please. i know its fucked but like. you know. the insanity of the fucked up ness is easier sometimes

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cosmical-flowers · 9 months ago

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Danganronpa: Violent Voices AU

Journal Entry 5 + 6

Taglist: @luvizna, @hypn0sssss, @mutsuowo, @yumetomiko, @dexterityz (If you would like to be added, send an ask!)

A/N: YIPPEE PROLOUGE COMPLETE!!! Journal 6 is meant to be chapter 1 as well! There should be ~5-10 journals per chapter. Anyways VOTE WHO YOU THINK SHOULD GET FREE TIME EVENTS TEE HEE. Half of the cast is available now and the other half will be after the free time event! Enjoy!

Journal Entry 5

XX - XX - XXXX

Theres only 4 people left. I guess they didn’t fit into any category I had already made. All of the entries are done now! Yet even though they are done, we don’t know whats next.

013 - WATARU HIBIKI

Ultimate Thespian

Birthday - 2/21

Height - 180cm

Weight - 63kg

Likes - His mask collection

Dislikes - ???

Status - Alive

014 - HINATA AOI

Ultimate Gardener

Birthday - 3/5

Height - 170cm

Weight - 54kg

Likes - Headphones, Sunflowers

Dislikes - Spicy food

Status - Alive

015 - SOUMA KANZAKI

Ultimate Samurai

Birthday - 4/20

Height - 174cm

Weight - 55kg

Likes - Lush green places

Dislikes - Liars

Status - Alive

016 - IBARA SAEGUSA

Ultimate Strategist

Birthday - 11/14

Height - 172cm

Weight - 60kg

Likes - Things he has stored up (?????)

Dislikes - Incompetence

Status - Alive

I have a feeling something bad is going to happen. Like someone gets injured, or worse. Everyone seems to get along well though. Subaru seems to be messing around with the camera settings and taking pictures of the gym / auditorium. Theres a raised stage and a basketball court. It’s really nice here. Let’s just hope nothing goes wrong.

Journal Entry 6

XX - XX - XXXX

A death game. Thats why we’re here.

When Subaru decided to take a picture of the stage, a small creature-robot-thingy decided to announce himself. It couldn’t have been taller than 3 feet. It also looked liked a cat? A robot cat?? Weird, but thats far from the oddest thing found out today. Monoshoji (Robot-cat-things name) announced that for our safety, we would be held inside Yumenosaki Academy. He mentioned that there are many facilities here for us to have happy lives, we could even go outside to the courtyard. We just couldn’t leave at all. Many people seem to make a fuss. Especially Leo, mentioning he had family and a younger sister as well. He didn’t like the robot at all, he almost fought it. But Monoshoji assured him that they would be safe inside Yumenosaki.

He then mentioned a way to get out. To kill someone. We all seemed shocked by this. Like, who would even kill!? Monoshoji then mentioned that was the only option for us to escape. Nothing else. He then gave us our room keys and a map so we could navigate around Yumenosaki easily. He wished us well and then he left.

SO WERE JUST MEANT TO KILL SOMEONE IF WE WANT TO LEAVE?!?!

WHAT THE HELL????

Hell no, im not gonna kill someone. There *has* to be a different way for us to escape. Seems Subaru thought the same thing as me because after the announcement he talked with me about how he doesn’t want to kill as well. I agreed with him, and he mentioned that he’s scared that someone is desperate enough to escape. I assured him that nothing would happen at all. But a part of me is still unsure of that. We then made a pact that we would help each other leave. Tomorrow, we decided we would go check for any areas that could be affected, like a trap door or something. But what should I do for now?

. . .

. .

#wahahaha! free time event #poll ends in like 2-3 days depends if im busy or not #anyways for the next few journals itll look like this:#Normal entry / FTE / normal entry / FTE / lore post / Normal Entry / DBA #danganronpa: violent voices au #enstars #ensemble stars #enstars au #ensemble stars au #gonna just tag eveyone apart of the poll #mao isara #subaru akehoshi #hiiro amagi #rinne amagi #tsukasa suou #kohaku oukawa #mika kagehira #leo tsukinaga #lots of reach. SO IF THIS IS LIKE YOUR FIRST POST YOU CAN CHECK THE TAG TO FIND THE OTHER ENTRIES!!! THERES ALSO RANTS!!!

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ssparksflyy · 6 months ago

Text

jason grace dating hcs ִֶָ ࣪ ִֶָ♱་༘࿐

pairing jason grace x child of mors hcs warning slight mentions of death i guess but thats kind of a given an based off this request !! hope u enjoy

nothing has ever quite been able to top the wave emotions that hit jason when he saw you for the first time

some call it love at first sight i call it love at first sight

like just imagine little jason stopping mid tracks eyes wide and jaw open

you thought it was weird

cause it’s your first day at this random camp, you just found out(and are still processing) that your dad is a roman god ???

as if that wasnt weird enough now theres this tiny white boy staring right at you

so of course you hit em with that "whatcha lookin at punk 🤬🤬🤬" cause your so #hardcore #punk #rock #rebel

no im kidding you just give him a nasty ass look and hes runs away

very short interaction but its one he wont forget

i wanna say youre like eight when you get to camp just for lore reasons

it actually takes a hot second for you to get claimed, im talking like two maybe three years

yeah your dads not the best

but as soon as you do, all your friends DITCH YOU ??

except for

youll never guess who

jason !!

in the time where you were unclaimed, you and jason slowly got close but with him now being one of the only people you hung out with, you got even closer

somewhere along the way, reyna joined your little group and you instantly got close with her as well

(shes out here collecting her creepy kids)

you didnt really have a movie-like friendship with her, but you had a lot of respect for each other and trusted each other deeply

leading to the sharing of private stories and secrets, aka making her the first person to know about *drum roll please* your crush on jason !!! yayyyyy

turns out you didnt even have to tell her that cause she literally just said "oh yea i already knew that"

and you were like ?? okay

just cause you were aware of your feelings (and jason was aware of his) does not mean that you did anything about itttt

reyna spent YEARS watching you two awkwardly interact, both way too afraid to even insinuate any romantic feelings

aka : you thought he wouldnt like you cause ur weird + he thought you only saw him as a friend and didnt share the feelings

only when this boy gets snatched outta nowhere do your feeling really hit you like a double decker bus

waves of really anxious feelings begin coming in more often as time goes on and less people begin to care about his disappearance

butcha never give up and thats what matters !!

reyna's there by your side the entire time, comforting when u need it ♡

then like this one guy shows up i dont remember his name i think hes like the son of neptune or something like that

anyway he goes on a quest or something ?? dont really remember why he's relevant

you do become friends though so theres that

but like best part about him is that the search party that came to find him had jason with them !!!

your heart must've stopped when you saw him cause you were frozen in shock until reyna gave you a shove and suddenly you were racing towards this boy, and he was also coming at you

you collided somewhere in the middle, embracing each other tightly

and you ALMOST

key word almost

kissed him

but not yet !!

lets be honest, nobody wants lore and ive got homework due in a bit so to put it short: after you awkwardly peel yourself off of jason, you end up joining the seven and their quest to stop motha nature! the first few days are a little awkward with the others (mainly cause you've never been much of a people person) but spend so much time with jason !

you swap stories about his time away from camp and gets you a little closer to the friends he met on the way- particularly leo and piper

they soon connect with you, eager to learn more about you after the stories theyve heard from jason and you end that day walking into your room super giddy

just as you were getting into bed however, GUESS WHO WALKS IN

JASON.

"veronica what are you doing in my room??"

he plops down on your bed and makes a little small talk, watching you through the mirror atop the desk you were sitting at

the room gets quiet once you finish and walk over to the bed, the white noise of the ship's engine running being the only thing you hear

as you sit down next to him on your bed, you turn to face him with a soft smile

he returns the smile and starts fidgeting with his hands as he tries to find the words for what hes about to say

omg is he about to say what i think he is ?!?11/1

yea

he starts off his ramble talking about the first time he saw you, how much fun he had growing up with you, then went onto how lost he felt without you and eventually tied it up with a lovey dovey gush about how youve changed his life forever

youd think the guy is proposing

but he’s actually just confessing his feelings for you!!! how cute

you're left a little shocked cause what!! what do you mean jason grace likes you!!!

pretty sure you know what happens next and soon enough your walking around with your finger interlocked and receiving pecks on your nose like its nobody's business

once you actually start dating, the shift from friends to lovers isnt too drastic

cause you already spend so much time together and know everything about each other, it's just now you dont have to hold back the urge to kiss and hug him at every breathing moment

the honeymoon phase is crazyyyyyy

like yall cant get off each other

once you ease out of it, you're still super affectionate with each other, just now its not super shocking that you're dating your best friend and have instead adapted to it

as semi mentioned before, jason looves holding your hand whenever you're together and adores pecking the tip of your nose, forehead, and cheeks

jason is so excited to show you camp half blood and show you his favorite spots when you agree to visiting

you end up really enjoying the camp and have an amazing time swimming in the lake, taking nature walks in the forest, and ending the night cuddled up in cabin one together

but nothing can beat your sleepovers, coffee shop dates, university lecture sit-ins, and afternoon strolls that you have at camp jupiter

its truly your home and you wouldn't choose to live your life with jason anywhere else in the world

things don't really change friends wise

though you do get closer with some people in your classes

pretty soon you're living the dream; a small(ish) circle of friends you know you can trust, two homes, a supportive best friend, and your dream guy right by your side everyday

his favorite way to spend weekends with you is by watching popular movies and ranking them based on the toll the have on his life

#1 on his list? dead poets society

(guys i have not recovered. its been a WEEK AND I HAVENT MOVED ON I DONT THINK I EVER WILL)

he literally has 'carpe diem' scribbled on a lined piece of paper right next to his bed

you are yet to miss a movie night together

you always end up having them, one way or another

honestly, your parents don't have much effect on your life

other than the fact you're into darker things and have been your whole life, your dad and his image haven't had much of an effect on your life

he doesn't acknowledge you and truth be told, you're glad he doesnt

not to forget romans view it as bad luck, so having brunch with death every sunday isn't too appealing to you

you really dont mind it, and jason doesn't mind jupiter too much either

he simply kind of lives his life without really thinking about him, he's happy without him having a role in his life anyway

yknow why?

cause he has you!!! duhhhh

you end up living your life all happy together and its great ‹𝟹

#hit the word limit!! that was fun #havent written in such a hot sec so i hope u guys enjoy this ‹𝟹 #percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #heroes of olympus #pjo #pjo x reader #jason grace #jason grace x reader #jason grace x you #hoo x reader #by bells ♡⋆ ࣪.#whos the cute boy with the wide blue eyes? ��୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

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sakumasmut · 2 years ago

Note

this ask will probably very long and pathetic so im sorry ahead of myself </3 YOU DIDNT JUST CHANGE THE POST TEXT TO TALK ABOUT THE GIFT AGAIN,, well obviously i wouldnt say no, and natsume,,, im always open to more natsume content because he is my everything (* >ω<) but you know, as you said in another rb's tags theres seriously so little content of my other favorites that id just feel bad to waste the gift opportunity when i can uhh, magically bring forth more nsfw wataru and leo content because. seriously. theres so little of it!! how!! i went thru their nsfw tags like, these days, and well. ashamed to say the very few there are of wataru, some are from me and even some that contain him and are related to the oddballs are still asks from me!!! no one wants this guy besides me.. ugly sobbing. but also was shocked at how little nsfw content there is of leo? surely hed be more popular so its like.. where is it.. wheres the content!! i did think about you wanting to give me a gift, and i can imagine why youd want to give it (and thinking on par that its not just a late birthday gift </3 but still thanks regardless!!), i was thinking something something with leo and ritsu but.. im not sure what! again if its anything you can just dm me about it or something i suppose </3 or if you do want to keep it as a secret little gift thatd pop up one day i dont mind either! but yeah i realized lately just how sick i am over leo and ritsu. yeah. yyeah. ive been rereading all your content w ritsu and especially the catboy ones.. uwehehe... (´_ゝ`) i kept thinking of scenarios of ritsu inviting leo over in his room with the reader also being there and erm,, wheres mika? i dont know! he can be anywhere he wants to just not here! (i am sorry mika fans. do not make me talk about him or we will reach the forbidden eroguro content. still so sorry for the one anon that didnt know what eroguro is and googled it?? then ended up asking you (ﾟωﾟ) i didnt expect to catastrophically ruin someones life like that... supposedly. my bad) but back to the main thing just uuuuw ive been missing your hcs things that were talking about two characters pursuing the same reader imagine it with leo and ritsu! oh the drama! how jealous filled creatures they both are! incredible! and absolutely phenomenal! but also them both having to share you? think of all the side-eyeing and purposefully paying attention to who you seem to give more attention towards.. they'd be so cute. i have worms in my brain(･ω･｀*). imagine if they were both catboys and so needingly desiring your affection. at once! im going to stop before i explode. i just need them both all over me right now i think. ue. i dont have much to say on behalf of wataru. at this point id just take anything with him because itd be such a rare legendary thing to witness.. ohh the holy grail of ultra rare wataru nsfw (no one wants this clown except me and exactly two other people on your blog) as you said yourself once hed be pretty much open to anything!! the opportunities are endless!! why limit them!! but also ouhhhh i have missed the wataru breeding hcs post.. id almost forgotten hes in puffy bunny even. whenever i think about fucking like rabbits phrase my mind just auto fills it in to nazuna. but ah. applied to wataru. ah. yeah. dont really have anything else to add there but amazing post 10/10 hit me like a rock when i saw it for the first time and may the person who requested that have my forever blessings. i will now sign off before i blow up right in this moment —darlingnon

mmm yeah I suppose you’re right, natsume is quite popular (I even have something for him for next month) but like you said there’s not a lot of writing for wataru or leo, so I’d wanna give you some content for them too! I definitely wouldn’t mind adding ritsu to a leo thing though, more the merrier!

honestly I might just surprise you one day? since I don’t wanna promise a deadline and not make it 🙇 but also very flattering you check my older writing fjehsbdn

#darlingnon

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the-volume-is-astronomical · 4 years ago

Text

The Crown, The Sword, and The Gay

The Tower

A/N: mi gente im just trying something out and seeing if people like it :] ive had this done for like months and months on end and i finally decided to share it so em enjoy

First | Previous| Next

words: 2380

summary: Roman’s stomach is making it very clear that this talk wasn’t going to end well... as long as he doesn’t end up in that tower.

pairings: eventual prinxiety, eventual intrulogical, eventual moceit

warnings: some potty language (not much), stress, anxiety, disappearance mention, flashback, crying

(let me know if theres any other)

Roman felt himself waking up, maybe because of the stupidly bright sun hitting his eyes, he didn’t know how that was possible since he remembered closing the red velvet curtains shut tight, so he didn't have this exact issue. So, when he heard some ruffling and things being moved around he wasn’t all that surprised.

¨Rise and shine, you little brat¨ Ruth said in a very tired but demanding voice.

¨Oh dear nurse, allow me five more minutes¨ Roman whined putting a pillow over his eyes so he could block out the rude sun.

¨Oh, flattery will get you nowhere, mister.¨ Roman could hear Ruth moving around the room, preparing breakfast no doubt. Roman took the pillow off his face and sat up, hair a wreck, and his eyes squinting because of the light coming from the window.

¨And he finally rises,¨ Ruth said sarcastically.

¨Yeah, yeah, the dashing prince has awoken.¨ Roman said half asleep. Ruth helped him sit down so he didn’t trip over anything and started serving him breakfast, she wasn’t going to wait for him to finish eating as she was already heading for the big oak doors.

¨Wait!¨ Roman sobered up, Ruth flinched a little at the shout but turned around anyway ¨Can I do anything for you?¨ She asked.

¨ Come eat with me, you for sure haven’t eaten anything today.¨ Ruth went to argue but closed her mouth when she noticed she, in fact, had not eaten.

She sat down in the chair in front of the royal, Roman made a few hand gestures as if to show she was open to take anything, she knew the monarch wouldn’t eat until she had settled for something so, she took a piece of bread and started eating, as did he.

After a few moments of silent eating Ruth spoke up ¨I still don't understand, after all these years you haven’t become a spoiled brat that doesn't care for his servant¨ Roman didn't even look up at her he just said ¨I guess you raised me well.¨ Ruth almost choked on her bread and looked at Roman as if he had gone insane. “Oh come on don't be so humble Ruthie!¨

She still looked at him confused and a little annoyed at the nickname but mostly surprised he would say anything of the sort, ¨Ruth, you are my nurse. You have been with me my entire life, You fed me when I was a baby for god sake! I consider you a mother, even if I have another mother in the throne room right now,” Roman shivered at the thought of having to talk to his parents after the events of the past week but continued anyway “and I sure as hell think of you as the person who raised me.¨

Once he had finished he immediately put a mouth full of food and kept eating as if hadn’t given that speech. Ruth still looked shocked but cleared her throat ¨Well, then I made you a sap!¨ Roman started laughing ¨How will your future spouse ever forgive me?¨ Roman burst out laughing and Ruth gave a small chuckle.

Ruth stood up and went to Roman's closet to gather his outfit for the day, while he finished breakfast. She threw the clothes at him “Hey!¨ Roman made his trademark over dramatic gasp. She sighed “I unfortunately also gave you my dramatics…”

“And I don’t resent you for that!” Roman screamed back with a big smile on his face.

Ruth looked like she had something on her mind. Roman didn’t have to wait much before she said what that was, he never did. ¨Would that make you and my Remy brothers?¨ she said, actively ignoring the prince’s comments. Roman stood up going towards his shoji screen to change behind. ¨Ha! We already consider each other brothers so it wouldn’t be much of a change.¨ Ruth started making his bed “Well this is new information to me.¨ Roman giggled a bit

¨Remy´s supposed to be back by noon, he passed a lot of territories to deliver this message so I sure hope he’s alright¨ Roman has always thought she was a worried mother even to him when he went on long trips.

Roman stepped out from behind the screen and reassured her ¨ He’s fine! He may act reckless but he's very calculating… but expect him a few hours later than what the estimated time of return” Roman slipped away looking for his shoes. ¨Oh and why is that?¨ she asked, hands on her hips, Roman gave a nervous chuckle.

Shouldn't have let that slip.

“Roman…” Ruth said in a warning tone. Remy was going to kill him but he didn’t want to die at his nurse’s hands “Remy’s been... seeing... this person a-and when his message trip aligns with where they live… he spends some time with the person so…” Ruth looked at him as if deciding something, “As Remy’s mother, I thank you for telling me the truth..” Roman was relieved “But, as your mother, I have to say…YOU SNITCH! Snitches get stitches for a reason!” Roman laughed genuinely and Ruth joined.

After their giggle fit, they heard someone knock on the door. Ruth went to answer the door, it was a guard “His and her highness request the prince’s presence,” Ruth thanked the guard and turned around and Roman looked mortified, “Roman, you have to talk to them.” Roman had never heard Ruth speak that soft. Roman only felt dread “Ruth I don't want to go” He was genuinely petrified.

“I understand, but they are very understanding and I believe they wouldn't punish you for simply trusting the wrong person” Roman shook his head “ They’re already so protective. They always had me under knight or guard surveillance but now they might do something so I won’t be able to sneak by” Roman was panicking and Ruth noticed, she walked up to him. And took his hand “Roman they just want the best for you…” Roman took his hand away from her own “No! They are just afraid they aren’t going to have an heir after one of them ran away.” Roman's hands were in his hair and his eyes started to glaze over.

Roman was very much not over his brother's apparent “disappearance”

“I understand Remus vanishing has affected your parents over protectiveness, BUT they have always aimed to protect you but after what happened...can you really blame them for it?” Roman sighed, Ruth forced his hands out of his hair, he took a shaky breath to calm down “No, but getting hurt is part of life! So what if I trusted the wrong person? Everyone does!” He gestured to the sky as if it was the only person listening, he felt so defeated.

“Well I can't change anything so, you should tell your parents that!” She didn’t know what to say to make things better. “I’ll try, let’s just hope they at least try to listen” he left it there and headed out of his bedroom’s oak doors, he never liked disagreeing with Ruth.

Roman walked down the long hallway towards the throne room but, of course, he wasn’t alone because that would be too much to ask apparently. Instead he was being escorted to see his parents by the guard that had informed him his parents required him. He already knew what they were going to talk to him about and he was dreading it.

Why did he have to make such a mistake?

Did the universe want him to not trust anyone after what happened?! If it would make the sinking feeling in his stomach leave then he would happily oblige.

The guard stopped at the throne rooms doors and Roman took a deep breath as the guard gave him side eye glance and opened the doors, “You required my presence?” Roman spoke trying to keep his voice steady and his head high, “Yes, Roman, we would actually like to talk to you about last week's event…?” He phrased it as a question a little too late. Roman’s father, King Leonardo, wasn’t an emotionally driven person and never was truly soft with anything he said, but he cared. The way he was soft spoken with Roman was just having the opposite effect that his father wanted.

Roman’s mother, Queen Victoria, was very comforting and always tried to shield her children from harm's way, but coming from a family of royals, she didn't have an example to follow but she wanted to be there for her child. “Roman, my little lion heart, I need you to keep in mind this is for your safety...ok?” Following everything by the book, always looking and being her best, so she would be a good example even if she wasn't nurturing, all she wished was for Roman to know she loved him and Remus with her whole being, Roman just gave her a tense nod as a response.

Roman’s Father spoke up, “Roman, you're going to be under knight supervision at all times,” That wasn't as bad as Roman expected, he basically already was! Anything but to be stuck in that damn tower “...And you have to stay in the south tower-” ...He should have knocked on wood.

“Father, I did nothing wrong! I shouldn't be punished for this-” Romans mother spoke up, she knew both her son and husband could be hot headed. She wanted to stop anything before it got the chance to begin “Roman this isn't to punish you! We want to protect you-” The Queen sounded like she was pleading with her son.

Roman did not hear her plea or just ignored it “...For how long do I have to stay there?” Roman’s mother spoke up, “Don't worry, you'll be there maximum 2-”

“Indefinitely.”

The King spoke in a cold unforgiving tone, Roman knew he had messed up big time. Victoria turned to her husband “Leo, we agreed he wouldn't be there for more than 2 fortnights, we agreed on that.” The Queen seemed upset but was obviously attempting not to show such emotion.

“Those were the rules we agreed to when he was a child and he would grant being punished” Both of Roman’s parents were staring at each other, showing they weren't going to back down.

Roman spoke, “Understood.” His voice was mostly monotone but tight, Victoria turned to him with an apologetic gaze. Roman shook his head. It was his own fault, his mother shouldn't blame herself for his actions.

“I'll tell Ruth, so we can pack.” Roman turned to leave but his father had more to say. “Before you go, Hugo won't be your assigned knight. One of the new recruits is climbing in status and popularity very quickly and he agreed to-” “babysit” Roman cut in. “-protect you. As long as I recommended him to Queen Marie for her armada”

As if things couldn't get any better, he had to meet this new recruit, he hoped they would at least get along. Roman just nodded and opened the door to leave. At that moment, Roman’s father called the guard that had escorted Roman to get the new recruit as soon as possible, he just left as quickly as he could.

His parents knew that not being around people and not being able to talk were some of the worse things that could happen to him. They decided it was going to be the way to punish him. Though, he never stayed for more than a month, now he understood why.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Roman- basically power walked- back to his room, his brain tortured him with memories of his 7 year old self being forced onto the tower for the first time.

No! Please it was an accident-!

I won't do it again!

I won't- Please!

That was all he said as his father signaled the guards to take him, his mother not being able to look, turned her head away, trying to ignore every motherly instinct in her body to stand up and comfort her child.

The guards dragged him out of the castle- the only home he knew- and shoved him in a carriage, where Ruth was waiting for him. Ruth had always been happy around him but her expression was unreadable -looking back she seemed angry, he just hadn't seen her that way before- but, Roman didn't care. He threw himself onto Ruth and sobbed his tiny heart out, Ruth trying her best to calm him down, he eventually fell asleep. Three hours later, he was woken up by Ruth.

“Were here, principito”

Roman was scared. Ruth saw it in his eyes.

“Come on! You offend me, you really think I would let them take you to a scary place?”

The little royal could only muster a small “no”. Ruth took his hand and walked with him toward a tower. Roman thought it was beautiful, that's the day he figured beautiful things can hurt you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roman never got used to it. He always dreaded the ride there, all the build up to the feeling of nothingness. When he looked up at the tower, he got the same feeling that he did when he was 7, Roman learned to not look up. He’d always prefer being in the tower when he was a kid because, back then they allowed Ruth to stay behind with him. Now she would only go in the carriage with him and leave.

After they stopped allowing Ruth to stay with him, at least he had Hugo to bother, by asking him for stories of his adventures. He didn't have that anymore.

The only adventure story he had now was a vibrant red book, in the book shelf of the tower, the only fictional book in his whole collection. He will admit, it was a very smart move on his parent’s part. They always monitored what he read, filled his whole book shelf in the tower with Philosophy, Math, and Royalty etiquette. When he begged for weeks on end for an adventure book they granted him one but, they made sure it was the only book that was fictional. They wouldn't give him an adventure book based on real events, No! That would be giving Roman too much hope.

Good move.

#roman sanders #roman angst #sanders sides roman #ts roman #prinxiety #ts prinxiety #future prinxiety #sanders sides #ts princey

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salsdemise · 4 years ago

Note

idv body headcanobs...

Anon I have no idea what you meant by this lmao/nm

So i just went with their body types, like height and stuff.

Theres not all of them, only some lol (Luca, Andrew, Kevin, Emma, Emily, Antonio)

so sorry if these suck

word count: 800

Luca:

-He’s like 5’7, pretty lanky build?

-not too tall, not too skinny, more leg muscle than anything because, come on they ALL run like hell when a hunter is after them lmao

-I feel like he’s got a few scars on him from getting hit by hunters, maybe some more than others because he gets caught more often?

-little bit of arm muscle from hauling himself over walls and knocking some kinda heavy palettes over

-has definitely bitten through his lip a few times. Snaggle tooth n all, he’s fallen and had an accident once or twice

-as for his eye, you know the one that looks bruised, it keeps getting bruised, it’s not a long lasting one time bruise.

-He keeps getting hit by a hunter and they end up hitting him in the eye sometimes

-very steady person, steady hands when working/decoding, agile.

-not very warm or cold honestly, he’s the neutral.

Andrew:

-oh boy I haven’t thought or talked about Andrew in forever uh

-he’s tall. Like 6’8-6’9, not that tall really.

-he’s skinny, pale, sickly, as the wiki describes it.

-I feel like hes kinda shaky? Like almost all the time?

-forever a cold person. He’s cold to the touch.

-flinchy, doesn’t really like to be touched at all

-skinny, as mentioned above, but hes got some muscle under all those clothes i swear.

-he has to to dig that fucking quickly underground

-slouches a fuck ton to seem less intimidating(trust me being as tall as he is, people LOOK)

-pretty clumsy when vaulting , has def hit himself with a palette a few times

-he’s good on the red church map because I feel like he’s more familliar with that over all the other maps lol

Kevin:

-Probably about 5’10

-the most built out of everyone because he literally carries his teammates and BOLTS while doing so -he’s fuckig fast too-

-tan, probably has some weird tan lines somewhere

-def has a few bruises from his teammates hitting his body weirdly when he grabs them.

-once his leg gave out while he was in a match and carrying emma and he fell weirdly and she landed on him and his leg broke and some of emma’s tools jabbed him.

-has marks(scars, bruises) from the ox kicking him that one time.

- warm person, like a space heater sometimes. Doesn’t bug him but the other survivors are a little bothered.

(jake sent me a pic of cowboyboot rollerskates while i was writing this and im now adding, kevin wore these during a match once and got so fucking hurt, joseph pittied him and dropped him in the dungeon)

Emily: -5’6 and agile.

-generally a light woman, still strong enough to vault and knock over some heavy pallets though

-she’s a very serious person when it comes to matches, so theres no room for error

-steady hands when healing, messes up a little when decoding sometimes.

-I feel like she’s got cooler hands but the rest of her is like?? Room temp??yk?

-has a lot of thigh muscle from crouching down to heal herself and teammates

-has probably handled her needle wrong and stabbed herself a few times. Small or larger scars from how fast/what direction it was taken out lol

-her fingers are calloused from accidentally pricking herself so many times. Thats why she wears gloves.

-has lost a shoe on the sacred hearts hospital map and cut her food open.

Emma:

-def a little more roughed up than some of the others

-she’s like 5’9

-pretty strong, she does carry that tool box around a lot. And that time she,,yk,, carried that suitcase and that, probably pretty heavy, scarecrow on fire to distract leo.

-really fucking fast, she’s a kiter after all.

-has tripped a fair few times, has indeed eaten dirt.

-when i said she was a little more beaten up I meant it, she’s a kiter and hunters go for her so often

-vaults like a pro, keeps running right after

-has scars on her arms from moving wrong while taking apart the chairs

-I don’t have much sorry

Antonio: -HES LITERALLY FUCKING FALLING APART HELP

-he’s like 6’9 too

-once lost an arm during a match it was terrifying

-stumbling around most of the match

-isn’t he like...dead?

-well he’s fucking flexible so a lot of the people at the manor think he is

-he’s dead cold. Literally freezing

-fingers are also calloused because he plays the violin

-HE’S LITERALLY DEAD HELP

-He’s stepped on his hair before and his neck just kinda...bent

#idv grave keeper #idv prisoner #idv cowboy #idv doctor #idv gardener #idv violinist #antonio my beloved #luca idv

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wtfzodiacsigns · 6 years ago

Text

My Experience With the Signs (Reprise)

Aquarius: They have a commanding presence to them that to some is intimidating but not to me. You stick to your “one way of doing things” far too much. they act emotionally detached even when everyone knows they’re the most sentimental person in the room. some of them get on my nerves with their one track mind, but for the most part we get along. they’re the type to say eww guiltlessly when you say you like something really lame (if they dont then they’re the lame one). don’t really get irony for some reason either. they dont understand how you can be ironically into something really stupid, like saying you ironically listen to journey or hall and oats sometimes.

Pisces: its a 50/50. Either I love you or I can’t stand you theres no in between. they all have high morals and will really push them on people. this isnt a big problem unless their logic makes absolutely no sense which happens. they can be very intelligent but this can lead some to become overzealous. they’re smart, empathic and very compassionate. they are equal parts capable of being my favorite person or me just wanting to kill them due to some of their know-it-all natures and ridiculous logic. they’re the type where you can chain smoke talking about every topic under the sun with for 7 hours. so long as you don’t offend them which can happen pretty easily. make one innocuous joke or comment and all hell will break loose.

Aries: we would be cool except you make every issue about you. I admire your ability to stay positive, almost to a level where i fear you’re actually just ignorant of the problem completely. they’re good at making light of other peoples situations, but if something happens to them that they don’t like, its as if the whole world has to go on hold for them to figure it out. they can be really exhausting this way and come off as being super self absorbed. these are the type to call you at 4am saying “guess what just happened to me.”

Taurus: honestly not much has changed. you are still lazy and still prefer netflix and your bag of cheetos to hanging out. but regardless, they’re level headed and easy to talk to. they love to use the blame game to explain away their problems so they dont have to put work into adjusting their behavior. they have sound logic and ideas and can be that friend that you make a meaningful glance to across the room when the person you’re talking to is full of shit. nothing phases these people. until something does. then all hell breaks loose and they are insane.

Gemini: (i dont know many so im sorry if this is an unfair bias) out of all the ones I’ve known, they’ve all sucked. they manipulate and lie to get what they want from people. usually control. every picture on their facebook page is of themselves. they think they’re really talented and special when really they’re just a methhead trying to pick up underage girls with their guitar at a party they weren’t invited to.

Cancer: they’re all super sweet honestly. prone to being down on themselves and making their poor self esteem painfully obvious. they can get defensive and close themselves off even though you really just wanna hug them. tend to make poor relationship choices though they usually dont figure that out til later. really just fun to be around and drink half a bottle of tequila with. you can really tell them anything and they won’t judge you. a wholesome bean.

Leo: the person who cuts into a conversation because you haven’t said their name in five minutes. these are a bit of a mixed bag. the ones who dont have any control of their ego are unbearable: naiive, arrogant, selfish, self centered, etc. but the ones who are aware of their own egos are typically nihilists who like really weird anime and rip on themselves to make them laugh. the self aware ones have this “dead inside” air to them but not in a depressing gloomy way just in a confident “life is meaningless so fuck it” way. also I’ve never met a female leo who wasn’t gay so theres that masculine sign bringin the gay.

Virgo: they overanalyze too much and it makes them anxiety ridden but they dont do anything about it. they can be critical, but trust me they criticize themselves the most. they can be pretty blunt, and its a good trait only about half the time. they are secretly very emotional though most will never know that. they are dying inside but are super good at faking it and turning it into a joke. range from being overbearing to overly detached in about half a second. people don’t really perceive them the way they should in both directions good and bad. they stick to their ways but not in an aquarius or taurus way, but more of a “I am at a loss I dont know what else to do” way. typically very understanding and kind but not at first. it takes time to get through that prickly cynical exterior. they’re moody and typically get way too caught up and drown in tragedies. if something bad happens they never forget and they let it follow them to their grave. they’re the kind of person where you can lay on the hood of their car at night listening to beach house talking about how cool space is. (true story)

Libra: another 50/50. they both make me the angriest most miserable person on earth and also happy to the max. they love passionately when they’re actually in love but are prone to cheaty behavior which they never address. They get caught up in what people think of them without realizing it and it makes them act irrationally. they have a habit of trying to get someones attention or respect by covering up their true selves and adopting all the interests and hobbies of the person they admire, basically a chameleon. this makes them seem fake. i wish they would just embrace who they are and be themselves because literally everyone on earth would prefer that. some, usually the men, can be extremely arrogant and think they’re the greatest thing ever at everything with no evidence. they can be incredibly insecure and have all sorts of weird ways of covering it up. can be manipulative. very flirtatious which is great if you’re interested in one and really not great while you’re dating them. don’t really understand the concept of emotional cheating, probably because they do it so much and dont want to look at themselves as cheaters but they are. if you find a loyal self aware libra with integrity and self respect though, my god they could rule the world through their ability for kindness and love.

Scorpio: I can be good friends with them but dating them is always a poor choice. they can be pretty oblivious and a lot of them get caught up in trying to look cool. its not because they care what people think its for some weird unknown self serving reason. these people can surprise you in all kinds of ways. because they keep themselves pretty low profile you never really know what they’re capable of. they’re unpredictable that way. they are pretty slutty in frivolous relationships, but once they commit they’re pretty attached. almost to an unhealthy degree. like they could get beat up, cheated on and abandoned by their partner and still love them (true story. like 3 of them). honestly though, usually just dorky memelords who wanna argue with you about politics and music using alien conspiracies as supporting evidence.

Sagittarius: oh you fiery eyed beauties. the independent ones are the best ones. they can talk all kinds of shit and not give a fuck better than anyone and its amazing so long as you’re not on the receiving end of it. the lazier ones are usually more clingy and unsure of themselves and usually use that fiery energy on their loved ones and themselves which isnt as fun. they are the greatest best friends. they know exactly what to say and when and they are the type of person where if you tell them you got cheated on they’ll go find the bastard and light their car on fire. essentially, a punk rock sagittarius can’t be topped by anyone. just stay away from the alcohol because you are so prone to being an alcoholic like please stop we love you.

Capricorn: usually very sweet. like to the point where you wonder if they’re “okay.” they will put up with some ridiculous shit from people. if you need emotional support though ask a capricorn because they will be there. usually like to keep in charge of themselves and accomplish their goals in their own kind of strange ways. usually neat and clean and smell good. they’ll buy you pizza and not ask to pay it back. if you upset one enough to leave your life then you’ve fucked up big time because they will put up with just about anything.they are precious keep them close and protected. I only met one i didnt like and they literally ended up the person i dislike most out of the whole human race that I’ve met. so i guess this means they’re just as capable of being complete asswipes as they are being squishy marshmallows.

Source: nanothestrange

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shiro-0197 · 4 years ago

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Hi 👉👈

Yes a hug would indeed hold me back 👀 oops okie dokes, no fighting the pillow, but you'll have to hug me in return 🤷😝

oh yes!! I saw it just came out on Netflix and on Kuro's stories too. That's really cool omg, is it good? I might just start it after I finish suits, and "how to get away with murder". (I'm such a sucker for TV shows about lawyers xD) aaah you're literally so precious for giving me that disclaimer 😔💖 (can you get any cuter?? Skdjsksk)

oh I'm sorry to hear that about Liza :(( I really hope she'll get more time to do things she enjoys. Having a helicopter parent is no fun, and it's important to explore your own individual identities, and have good relationships with your parents, tho you sound so proud of her and that's amazing!! I'm sure she's a fantastic artist 💖💖 she seems really dedicated which is a really admirable value. You'll get your team done soon!! And I'm sure it'll turn out wonderfully <3

I'M SURE ILL LOVE YOUR PLOV :] and I learned how to make pan mee from my friend the other day SO I WILL MAKE SOME FOR YOU TOO. it's literally such a good dish and whenever me and my friends go out together, we always go and have it together. It's just funny because it's so spicy, our lips all look rly red after eating it, lipstick whom?? I only know sPiCe 😭😭

awww Kuro has little siblings? That's really precious :> totally support your idea of adopting him, you'd be a great dad 😔😔😔🤚

one of my best friends just sent me pictures of himself today, rocking blue hair and I just about went to his house to see it for myself because it looked so good. He did it to match his favourite character and I was like 😭😭💖💖💖😍 this friend of mine is actually really special to me, because ask anyone we know, and they'll say he's just the male version of me. We have EVERYTHING in common, it's kinda weird. Even our names are alike. 😭😭 I'm glad he moved to my school this year because now I finally have someone to talk about anime and manga to :>

ah I'm so sorry to hear that 😭 losing a pet is one of the worst things that can happen, because it's basically losing a best friend, you know?

Big hairy cats do indeed go grrrr 😭but yeah, I find the abbreviation so lame I just tell people it's "Leo" for lions ;-; since Leo is strongly associated as the lion constellation.

Ooh what band is that?? Tho yes I totally get you. Harry potter is a guilty pleasure of mine too xD and so is ice cream ;-; I should not have ice cream cuz it makes my nose go red which makes it look like I have a permanent blush, but I eat it anyways and it happens and yeah sljdkssk ;-;

thank you... I hope it was okay, because I really worked hard on it but it's a shame I bombed the presentation. Oh well, there's always next time.

NO YOU ARE MY SEROTONIN SPIKER AND I WANT TO SHOWER YOU IN HUGS AND KISSES AND ALL MY LOVE RN 😭😭😔🤚💖 I love youuuuuuuuuuuuu <3

—Ari

Heya!!

I'd highly even if you did fight my pillow cuz ily and I'm touch starved like that😈😈 deheheh but seriously I wish I could hug you💞😭

Well, I did enjoy it!! There's kind of weird Japanese humor if you squint, but overall? I loved it, hehe. It's about three guys, whose lives are miserable, and one day they meet up together and then get teleported into a place identical to where they are, except there are no people and there are a lot of life or death games. I like stuff like this, I've also watched "Escape Room" which is pretty similar, though it's a single movie, while AitB is a series

Ohhh I've heard of that one!! I kind of forgot about it though, but I'll watch it someday haha:D

Why could I not?? I wouldn't wanna make you uncomfortable by making you watch those scenes😠 I'm ✨considerate✨ sjjwjfjwjkz

I really hope so! Shes also been having a lot of stuff going on in her musical school, so that's also harsh😩 I'm hoping she'll get enough rest on the holidays

OHHH I bet I'll love your pan mee🤤❤ also, it's that spicy? Hell yeahhh!! I already love it😝🤪❤

Kuro doesnt have younger siblings, but he does have older ones, and the kids are his nephews (and a niece)! But he doesnt really like his family, except his mom, that's another reason to adopt him~

OH THAT SOUNDS SO AWESOME IM SURE HE LOOKS ASTONISHING also what that sounds so cute!!! You have ur own twin🥺❤❤ he sounds really cool, I'm glad you have someone like him !!!!!

Its Mccafferty!! Do NOT check it out, I dont know if you'd like them or not but its better not to find out. Better to check out The front bottoms, they're pretty similar, or so I've heard xd

Oh no!! Does it hurt when it happens?? Not being able to eat ice cream is probably the worst punishment😩😩 I'm not a huge fan but I still wouldnt mind eating 42 kilos of ice cream in a sitting, ya know?

You're right!! Theres always next time, so dont beat yourself too much for what's already passed! You've got this, shortcake, I believe in you♡ Love you, and I hope you sleep well tonight<3

#Ari💕#looooooooveeee youuuuuuu #L #O #V #E #YOU!!!!#❤❤❤

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plushievash · 5 years ago

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how did leo/alexei happen? give us lore!

so for a long while they both had crushes on each other but alexei is stupid and leo suffered from internalized homophobia believing hes not meant for relationships no matter how much he wanted one with someone he would never pursue it bc he thought he would be a burden/nobody sees him that way/he is repulsive;; alexei just admired leo too much and thought leo was out of his league and that hed never love someone like him and also bc hes alexei and is just like * has severe paranoia and also no social skills *

dasha saw the Signs™ tho bc hes like love is in the air….and i will find out where its coming from and then. he suffered watching these 2 dumbasses for 2 almost 3 years dance around each other and their feelings while nobody else believed him that hey…..looks like somethins goin on between alexei and leo…u ever notice how leo takes any chance to touch him? u ever notice the way alexei immediately becomes more interactive when leo comes along? yes i know leo is clingy yes i know alexei is improving socially just like. Look its Right in Front of You.

but anyways went like that for the longest time where both of them kind of planned to make their feelings known but could never work up the courage to follow through with it. and alexei got with lucien to try to forget abt leo bc he “knew” he ‘had no chance’ and leo just [roblox OOF] and as usual * focuses on work at a dangerous level and does stupid stuff *

which ends up with a mix up and confusion where leo is missing and puts everyone in a panic and miko catches a guy named nikostratos and ooh ooough oh hes so mad hes so ohguh hes so angry that hes mad. and without thinking and following standard procedure does some things and is 8D to find out uh oh! just gave my brother the familys awful itchy scratchy disease! fuck! time to go kms i guess!

and masha is big mad at everyone so shes just like leo and miko are banned from work and if they even attempt it they wont bc theyd cross me and nobody crosses me. and then alexei is put on watch to make sure leo doesnt try to sneak away and work on his own anyways and to nobodys surprise, he does try. instead of sending one of his people alexei personally confronts him and persuades him to go back home. to which leo asks alexei to stay with him and he does…slowly leo starts to ease up again as alexei stays with him and basically lives with him/stella/the twins for a short while as hes stationed to by masha

eventually after a while of watching both miko and leo masha is satisfied enough with their recoveries and allows them back to their jobs calling alexei off since they no longer need to be supervised. but alexei again * is extremely paranoid and well meaning but also awful * so he keeps his people watching leo from a distance just to be sure hes safe; as he does with maxim and miko (the only difference is that maxim and miko Know he does that and asked him to do that; leo didnt.) oh yeah somewhere sprinkled in around that time alexei split with lucien cause he just. wasnt happy it wasnt working. i dont remember where exactly in all this mess it happened LMAO u might wanna ask my boyed friend abt that since alexei is his

so anyways after a while of being back to work leo notices hes still being followed and slowly gets paranoid and irritable. he ends up doing rash things that could end up getting him killed just to get the attention of the people following him to see if hes “just being paranoid” or if hes really being followed still despite masha allowing him to return to work. eventually after the 3rd time instead of sending someone to intervene alexei himself shows up and leo is Angry and hurt tells alexei to call off his people cause if he ever sees them again he wont hesitate to kill them and so alexei does cause he does care abt his people he doesnt try to defend himself or anything it finally hits him that he just “oh hmm. ok yeah that was kinda fucked up. uh oh i fucked up. this is bad”

and leos whole attitude began to shift instead of his usual generally polite and very easy attitude ready to make friends with anyone he became guarded irritable and quiet and he lost the soft tone in his voice. eventually even with his favourite most important people around him (stella/felix/miko) hes just too paranoid sick to his stomach and angry to stay where he is. so he says hes going to take a vacation and instead moves down to work at the other facilities as a lower agent domenico carlevaro; he doesnt alter his appearance too much aside from dyeing his hair and changing his general fashion style. the only person he allows to come down and see him is mikolaj but he says if felix or stella ever asked him he is allowed to tell them they can see him but no one else. not maxim or dasha or alcides not the twins. he cant stand to see anyone else. miko regularly visits him but has to ask each time since leo doesnt stay in 1 place for too long. eventually leos anger just makes him even more reckless causing him to break his prosthetic; so he has to return to apologize to dasha and ask for a new one.

there he finds out alexei has disappeared and immediately he just feels a twist in his stomach bc he wanted to be angry and pretend that hes over it and he doesnt care about him anymore but he still does so after he gets his new arm despite maxims protests he insists that he will assist maxim in the search. miko reports that alexei was last seen injured being carried away by a woman from some abandoned facility and so everyone is like ok fuck! who is that! is he already dead! or what the fuck! goddamn it! eventually maxim and leo manage to find where alexei is hiding running into one of his people; daria who is a tracker and not really experienced in protection. she… doesnt know how to properly use a gun. shenanigans happen bc daria is sweet and maxim and leo are not mean then leo sees alexei and boy ! he is FUCKED UP. alexei looks like hes str8 up dying (cause he is!) hes extremely weak and has to use a cane to walk hes got bloody bandages all over and his arm in a sling and later leo and maxim see that arm has a huge ass bite taken out of it and maxim is just 8D…im a good doctor but im not That good a doctor what the fuck is this. and calls marina down to see if they know what this is

marina does and identifies it as a kaprinka bite (ask my boyed friend what a kaprinka is) and that all cases theyve been in charge of nobody has survived but theyll do what they can to try to fix it. maxim and leo decide to take shifts to always be in the room with alexei in case anything goes wrong like his condition suddenly gets even worse and they need to call marina or an attempt on his life happens. so the first night while leo is in charge of watching alexei they start to talk and leo isnt angry anymore and instead is just…Really really sad and admits how hes felt and how he knows that he doesnt have to; he shouldnt; and he Doesnt forgive him for what he did but hes willing to push that aside to at least go back to the way they were. and alexei admits how hes felt and apologizes for everything and how he “probably got himself killed” and theyre both just mmmm feels bad toddbut after that it gives alexei the push to keep on living and alexei does Stupid Stuff which is really stupid but! it helps and he manages to bring back the kaprinka for marina to see what they can do to help him since they said that theyve only ever seen kaprinka that were already dead and not usable for testing it takes months and some big rollercoaster ups and downs w/ alexeis progress but he makes it and recovers but continues to stay in hiding til he gains his full strength back and during that time someone is sent to kill him and leo and maxim stop the guy and then stuff happens and alexei is big mad and blah blah and stuff and then after thats taken care of and his recovery is full they all return and leo helps alexei/artyom/daria in their search for what originally caused the whole situation alexei got in

and so basically from the day they found him theyve been dating Finally but never like fully established it but its very clear now so everyone knows and dasha is rubbing it in everyones faces and miko and felix are dying and they just Cant understand.

also a quick note: theres 2 darias…i have a daria who is just a cute crafts girl with rainbow hair but thats not the daria in this situation…the daria in that situation is my boyfriends oc who is a motorcycle racer and tracker for alexei but they are both equally cute and good

#assk #ocs #leonardo #okej so that was rly long and i skipped out on like a Lot of parts #but i think i got the main stuff out of the way #currently? alexei and leo are happy and often spend time at each others for weeks at a time #and they both gave each other the sappiest christmas presents....#theyre good i swear #Anonymous

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patchdotexe · 6 years ago

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So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

#leo chirps #leos reply #system shit #i dont think i covered EVERYTHING #and im not sure how coherent this is #but i tried! :D #Anonymous #ask #pat.txt

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sadb0ysims · 6 years ago

Photo

THE SIMSELF TAG featuring yours truly and her wonderful assistant, antoinette

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? mia and thats all ur getting out of me

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? oh god we have some embarrassing ones but jordan and jords are nicknames of mine and u might be able to guess the other obvious ones dgjhfdj

3. BIRTHDAY? february 25th babey

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? OH uhh princess diaries by meg cabot probably

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? not to sure about those funky alien dudes but ehh yeah i believe in ghosts

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? i’d say michael morpurgo but that’s probably because his books were shoved down my throat at an early age DKJDFGJ if you can have a favourite poet i can answer this: atticus and lang leav

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? radio one probably!!

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? the purple one. like, starburst? purple. wine gum? purple

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? being the millenial i am probably Uh...li...litty

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? OH Hm i’d say ocean eyes by billie eilish

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Hm!

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? copycat by billie eilish!!

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? LIE TO ME IS THE UNDER APPRECIATED SERIES OF THE CENTURY

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? oh uhh i don’t watch films a lot and especially not if i’m feeling?? sad

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? never heard of them

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? OH jesus lets say. being forgotten or making no difference in the world

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? oh Jesus not a lot of these GJFDH over the past mm month or so i’d say i’ve grown a lot as a person in the fact that i have more respect for myself than i used to, and if i have an opinion on something i evaluate it and decide Do People Really Need To Know? (DPRNTK)

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? EASY my weird. defense mechanism thing. i’ve gotten a bit better in my opinion but the reason i’m usually in so much trouble is because as soon as i’m attacked, i act with anger? its some weird defensive wall that i put up and regret later because i’m not really thinking like a rational person. i just see that i’m being attacked and my first thought is to fight back

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? OH cats because i haven’t had one in ages. one of our cats was run over and the other was taken by our neighbours and now he doesn’t even remember us or respond to his name so thats really fun

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? SUMMER because my skin turns olive in the summer and right now. a bitch is pale! also school is so much nicer in the summer... the whole yeargroup feels like much more of a community because we all sit together outside n it’s just overall very fun and makes me nostalgic of year 7

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? bitch u really thought-

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? still in it but. because of a lot of things i was forced to grow up very fast. something i miss is having everyone in the house (my siblings are both a lot older than me so they’re never around) and not having to worry about fitting into certain stereotypes or WASHING MY HAIR!!!!!

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? oh god ok so i have a “best friend” but we don’t. agree on a lot of things and she takes everything i say 100% seriously so even though we’re not close i’d consider this group of boys from my school my best friends. and online ofc i have Many Many good friends which i would name but i dont wanna leave anyone out bc i talk to A Lot of people DGHDFJ

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue blue blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? blonde babey

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my brother

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? would say myself but sometimes i’m not even sure i can trust HER

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? i think about people loads because im a lonely romantic so. i’d say Love Interest and i think about myself a whole lot too like who does this bitch think she is

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? all the time i’m looking forward to things bc. not a whole lot happens in my life so if Love Interest looks at me a certain way i’ll look forward to going to school for the next couple weeks FDJGHFDJ

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? i think of the future way too much. she’s a dreamer

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? oh god uhhh i used to cry at in the night garden all the time when it ended bc i hated that iggle piggle sailed away on his boat DJHFD it was probably still my favourite though

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i had a best friend who moved away after year seven and i feel like i could but. who knows we haven’t seen each other for years

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? sigh i think so like does it count if my tarot deck says not to do something because. i trust those tarot bitches with all my soul if i have one

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? don’t like the dark, i have a fear of holes, can’t sleep without the door open, can’t sleep when i can see in a mirror (fun fact theres a mirror in my room but it’s on a shelf which i can barely see at night like. i can see a glimpse. but knowing it’s there freaks me out so its flipped and has something covering it)

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? oh ummmm in front i guess because 1. i look horrible in photos other people have taken of me 2. technically being in front of it. you can still take selfies and 3. the people i know take pictures from really weird angles

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? we love a bit of vidya games but i love reading poetry because i’m a whore and also i like singing but that doesn’t mean im good at it!

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? UHHH god i really dont read uhh probably lullabies by lang leav

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? romeo and juliet (the blessed one featuring young leo dicaprio)

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i can play the guitar, the recorder, a bit of the piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? GIRAFFES it’s really sad that they’re now endangered. if ur talkin domestic pets i love guinea pigs, cats and (i’ve never had them but rats

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? don’t. this’ll turn into a follow forever and i won’t get any clout bc it’s in such a long post !

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? OH hm. i thought as hard as my tiny brain could about this and i think teleportation would be interesting but if we can choose ANY superpower. is magic one? that’d b pretty wack

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? when i’m walking to school at half 7 in the morning and no one’s there and i can hear the trees lining the field rustling in the wind in the distance. it was rainng this morning and even though my whole ass was exposed from the wind and i was soaking it was really peaceful. also there’s a red kite that’s resident to our school field and i love to stand there in the morning and watch it sometimes

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? feeling included DGJHDJ doesn’t happen a whole lot

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i play a lot of sports because i’m in school obviously but i’m really good at rugby bc a bitch is Tactical and Nimble. i love hockey and badminton and stuff though

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? i LOVE smoothies and milkshakes and everything ugh. i’d be bold enough to say i love drinks more than i love food. like apple juice orange juice MIXED juice smoothies BROWN BAG MILKSHAKES! BITCH! THE STRAWBERRY ONE IS SO GOOD UGH

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? oh jesus um. 4 years ago

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? fuck yeah brother

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? UGH A LOT OF THINGS like. people biting their nails. people tapping their foot on my chair. people not listening when you’re explaining something THEY needed help with. tapping a pen on a desk or clicking it on and off

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nop

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? my mother is a vegetarian so i eat a lot of vegetarian meals. sometimes i get really put off meat but like. a bitch is 13 and doesn’t pay for her own meals so she doesn’t really get a say in what she eats

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? always wanted to entertain people and be nationally recognised. take that as u will

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? TOO MANY let’s go... the arcana so i can marry the 1 (one) love of my life dr julian ilyushka devorak... chill in the hanged man’s realm...

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? i don’t worry about a lot not gonna lie to u

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? cheers i’ll drink to that broe

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? if the screeching sound i make to a slight tune counts as singing then. yes

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? not illegally but i’ve had days off sick where i wasn’t sick bc i couldn’t be asked

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? alone

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? somewhere safe

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yeah i have a dog and a cat but as i said m cat got taken by my neighbours and doesn’t even remember us so sjfhdjg

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but if i’m rested well enough i love being up early

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? no a bitch is 13

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? probably headphones bc i can’t lose them and the sound quality is better but i’m not a MONSTER so earphones. also headphones automatically make old people scoff at u and hate u more

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? whatever’s poetic enough to be On Brand

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? don’t really have one

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? no

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? the holier than thou attitude Often showcased on simblr by some. familiar faces

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? it doesn’t really make a difference

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? computer science (mainly for the people because right now we’re just making fucking. powerpoints) or english bc of the people again

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? yee a brother and a sister

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? christmas presents and some perfume & a purse for me

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′4

75. CAN YOU COOK? not well

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? attention DFJHGSDJ uhh being kind to people who deserve it and hard work paying off

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? patronization, people who believe their opinion is the only opinion and people who cause minor inconveniences for you for no reason

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? more female probably but i prefer guys

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? i say bisexual but no one’s ever been close enough to let me find out

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? party in the UK

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? kyla rosymiel

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? UHHH i really can’t remember i know me and kyla were talking about something and i started crying JGFHDGJ

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? oh god umm probably smii7y but i also really like all his friends like. kryoz etc

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? when i look good FJDHSJD

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? would say tumblr but she’s gone ! right now i’m really feeling zepeto bc It May Be Tracking Me but it lets me take pics with all my online friends and i have some sort of weird following on there SDFHSDJ

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? i don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully confide in them, i really like my dad but there’s elements of him that don’t really float my boat. same with my mum but i’m less close with her

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? probably australian or. is it swiss? might be swiss.

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? france and ofc america

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 4

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? with like 2 things skdghsd

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really but i believe in a higher power of some sort and a life after death. i believe there’s something out there that is listening but i prefer to think it’s the stars

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? i find the ocean really ineresting but man will always romanticise space

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im a 13 year old white girl how ruthless can i be

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? sesame seeds

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nop but everyone else in my family can

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? whenever i realise

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? i lie all the time but i am. SO terrible ASJDFHJ i would love to lie less but it’s so easy to slip into one

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? gryffindor

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? hell yea brother

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? kyla put ambivert so i looked that up and. yeah

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? did when i was younger but i guess tumblr is somewhat of a personal diary

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? turn it in most likely

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? “yes, but you should never forget about their past” thanks kyla

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? only monsters aren’t

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have my ears pierced. WILD i know

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? UGH FUCK DR JULIAN ILYUSHKA DEVORAK!! it’d be illegal for him to marry anyone but me though

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yep! i have a tattoo on my back. i plan on getting a lot more tattoos in the future, but i don’t want anymore in the near future

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? being outspoken and not. watching things pass by

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? of course

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nopee

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? oof i really don’t know because of what’s happened to me i don’t know if i could knowing i could never protect them from everything. idk pregnancy seems very nice but once the kid gets annoying thats It for me

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? “i think everyone is smart in their own way” thanks kyla

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? i started laughing once in drama and i pissed myself a lil and i was like ehh thats fine i do that all the time and then i didnt stop pissing and someone was like ‘whats that wet on the floor? they were like mia have u pissed urslef i was like nOSDJF so i had to ask the teacher to leave. u coiuld see the piss down my leg

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? have u SEEN these bags. she’s seen hell

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? like varying tones of beige and then grey/black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? of course

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? oh uhhh i feel like maybe when i was younger but i’ve. repressed that memory if i have it

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 13 years young

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? oh jesus something poetic and by atticus probably let’s see

after spending more time searching for a quote than i did on literally this whole tag, i decided on this. and then i realised. it will always be ‘YOU ARE A SAD BOY’

#the last one was abt food #but i thought the quote was a nice finishing touch #sadb0ysims #ask game #?

24 notes · View notes

lesbianbruabba · 6 years ago

Note

Answer all the qs! Unless theres any you don’t want to do

Mobile so these are ugly sowwy

1:Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

Well I just spent my night watching exurb1a that p much explains it

2:Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Sometimes?

3:If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

I’m pro legalization but if it’s an addiction obviously I’d try and prevent further damage. If it’s well controlled i don’t mind.

4:Do you find it easy to trust others?

I trust too easily so yeah

5:What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Watching exurb1a, or wanking, or looking at takeouts on Deliveroo

6:You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Probably my brother or one of my best friends

7:What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

Cry

8:Are you close with your dad?

Fairly close imo. But we have a lot of opposing views and I have to try and overlook those.

9:I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

No?

10:What are you listening to?

Magic by Coldplay @samrull can suck my dick

11:You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Cum fanta lemon

12:Do you like hickeys?

YES unless they’re on my boobs then NO bc I used to have like massive ones and I couldn’t sleep on my back

13:What time do you go to bed?

Hahahhahahahaaha you must be new here

14:Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

My mother

15:Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Yea

16:Do you always answer your texts?

Most of the time unless I’m tired

17:Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

18:When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Like a few minutes ago with Iza bc I pester her a lot

19:Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

My little brother and all my best friends

20:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I went to bed yesterday morning but my last thought was ‘I love Tom Holland’

21:Is anyone else in the room with you?

No. I don’t think so

22:Do you believe what goes around comes around?

23:Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Yes. On the 30th December I was probably hanging out with my brother.

24:Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

A few. Some are beyond repair, others are just lost chances.

25:In the past week, have you cried?

Lmao. Yeah. A lot.

26:What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

White with pink and blue argyle patterns

27:Do people ever call you by your last name?

No. I would hate that

28:Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Probably? Idk

29:Do you have a best friend?

I have 7 bitch

30:Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

31:Who was your last call/text message from?

Iza

32:Are you mad at anyone?

Yeah. Pro lifers.

33:Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes

34:How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

23? Idk I don’t remember

35:How many more days until your birthday?

Like 3 months minus a bit.

36:Do you have any summer plans yet?

Yeah! I’m going to Poland with my mum. Then I’m going home and going to suffer in the HK heat.

37:Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

Yes. Two, one is my brother.

38:Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

No. I’m an open book lol

39:Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

I don’t think so??

40:Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

41:Do you think age matters in relationships?

Depends on the age gap and the ages of the parties involved

42:Are you available?

Yes

43:How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

1 or 2

44:If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

Nose ring but not septum. On the side of my nose

45:Do you believe exes can be friends?

Yes if they put effort into it

46:Do you regret anything?

A lot.

47:Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

Turbulent is such a good song also I want thanos to raw me

48:Did you ever lose a best friend?

I’ve ghosted a best friend if that counts bc she’s toxic as fuck

49:Was your last kiss a mistake?

50:Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

Bc they don’t like me back lmao and also ‘pursuing’ sounds kind of predatory??

51:Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

52:Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Not really

53:What was the last thing you ate?

A weird cake that was sweet but I couldn’t pinpoint the flavor

54:Did you get any compliments today?

Yes

55:Where are you going on your next vacation?

June to Poland

56:Do you own anything from other countries?

Yeah I have dolls from Belgium and Poland and Japan and also some trinkets from other places

57:Are most of your friend guys or girls?

The majority are girls

58:Where have you lived most of your life?

Tseung kwan o

59:When was the last time you took a long drive?

I don’t drive :D

60:Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

61:Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

No! I’m a good girl uwu

62:Who do you text the most?

Probably Iza

63:What was the last movie you saw?

Endgame but it’s a bad stream of it

64:What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

Don’t have one

65:How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

66:Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

No. You asked this question earlier

67:Do you curse around your parents?

Hell nah they’d ground me even though I’m nineteen

68:Are you happy with where you live?

Not really but it’s okay

69:Picture of yourself?

70:Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

Personally I’m monogamous

71:Have you ever been dumped?

72:What do you most like about making out?

It’s hot

73:Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Yes

74:When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

Both?

75:What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Face

76:Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

Iza or my brother’s gf

77:Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

78:Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

79:What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Dogs

80:Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

NOPE

81:Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

No lol have you seen what I look like

82:Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Depends on who the crush is and who I tell. Usually I tell my brother and maaaaaybe some of my more sensible friends

83:Do you miss your last sweetie?

???????????

84:Last time you slow danced with someone?

Uhh never. I wish I did though that sounds cool

85:Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

Nope

86:How can I win your heart?

Make me a playlist and be honest with me. Also be funny

87:What is your astrological sign?

Leo but I’m more of a cancer

88:What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Eating my takeout and watching exurb1a

89:Do you cook?

I make a good risotto and also potato dauphinois. But otherwise no

90:Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Don’t got one

91:If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

Hells yeah @wlw hit me up

92:Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

The latter

93:What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

A nice face. I like older blondes when it comes to women and less muscley men. Generally for everyone, the more feminine the better.

94:Name four things that you wish you had!

Bigger eyes, a boney figure, fluency in all languages, more brain cells

95:Are you a player?

I play the ukulele

96:Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

97:Are you a tease?

I plead the fifth

98:Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Yeah a few and they were all v sweet gals

99:Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

I don’t know

100:Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

Yeah

101:Hugs or Kisses?

Hugs!!!!

102:Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I don’t think so

103:The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Eyes

104:Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Yes!! And I call everyone that except my brother he’s dickhead

105:If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

No!!

106:Do you flirt a lot?

Depends on who you are and how well you know me

107:Your last kiss?

Last year

108:Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

109:Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

Lmao no

110:If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

One of the people I’m crushing on probably. Or Zach Grace

111:Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

No, that’s an interesting question though.

112:Does someone like you currently?

Probably not. Again, refer to picture of me

113:Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Yeah I always fuckin do

114:Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Serious relationships

115:Ever made out with just a friend?

Yes

116:Are you happier single or in a relationship?

Well I’ve only experienced the former so

Thanks for the questions sorry they’re ugly im also ugly but I’m sure u arent

#answered #anon

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un-unpopular · 3 years ago

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for the ask game!! :0 mars, pluto, leo?

mars: in my ideal world, id be the one approached, but im pretty unlucky in that aspect and id like to get to know people now instead of later... so, i usually approach others. ive grown much more comfortable with it now, but i used to be pretty awkward about it. pluto: wow, okay, so my only example is astrology related... huh!? what a coincidence. so, for reference, i think astrology and witchcraft is interesting, not really a deep belief. just a hyperfixation on something cool. but still, some of it has been verrry accurate. theres this strange, consistent thing though, whenever i look into astrology and witchcraft. the first day i looked into it on a deeper level, the next day was a full moon. the next, was another full moon, and a sun sign change. and recently, it was a lunar eclipse in my moon sign. im not one to say i believe in it, but im not one to say i dont, i guess. leo: depends. but, i think i like it when i have attention! i cant deal with bustling spaces, or busy rooms, but i enjoy when people are interested in me and what im doing, a l o t. i enjoy when im a big deal, as long as im not just in the middle of it all.

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deadlymarch · 7 years ago

Text

* ROLEPLAY POSITIVITY / POST 01 ! happy roleplay positivity week / month / day / idfk . while i am not aware when this commenced and when it shall end [ though i am a believer it should never end ] i thought i would toss my two cents into the mix . and not only that , but it has been officially three months as of MARCH 27TH that i have had this account !! and not only that , i am pretty close to 700 FOLLOWERS !! lots of excitement .

anyways . i’d like to take some time to talk about some amazing people in my life . over the last few months , i have grown immensely close to a specific group that i would never trade for the world . they truly mean everything to me . the fact that i get to meet some of them in just three months is amazing and i am beyond thankful . this is in NO particular order . so shut up .

@bloodofvader : renee . you are literally are one of my closest friends and i would die for you . your friendship means everything to me . our bond is something i am truly blessed for . you are such a ray of sunshine . you are so talented . your characterization is astounding . youre astounding . youre always there for me . you have such passion and it transfers into your writing . i am beyond proud of you !! i mean , you just signed up for your last college class !! what the fuck !! im so proud of you !! you are such an incredible young woman and i am truly thankful for you . thank you for being you . i love you .

@forcedpower : lucy . you . . . you are so beyond talented . you dont give yourself enough credit for your creations and edits . you taught me so much about photoshop and i am so thankful for that . hell , thats how we became friends !! i normally am never comfortable with voice chatting / calling others when i havent talked to them long . . . but you were so easy to talk to and you were so helpful !! i know you’ve had your hardships on this site . . . but i am so grateful that you found the courage to come back . you are one of my closest friends , lucy . and while you call yourself the devil , you are nothing but an angel to me . thank you for sharing your love and kindness with me . thank you for being my friend . thank you for being you . snoot snoot . i love you .

@forcebound : kat . your alias suits you . starry . because you light up the sky with your smile . you are so generous . . . so generous . you have such a kind heart . you are so patient . talented . so fucking talented . god . it kills me that we’re 33 hours apart . . . but ya know what ?? we’re still close as shit . . . and id never trade that for anything . im so proud of you for going back to school and taking that first step towards a bright future that i know youll reach . reach for the stars , huh ?? you are beautiful and kind and funny . thank you for being you . i love you .

@hechose : ray . fuck we instantly clicked . literally when we first started talking u kept saying hold my hand and i literally would die each time . you are such a precious soul . . . nd lets be real , sheri adopted u so we’re like sisters Uh Oh . you have such an empowering attitude . . . you want to make change in this world . you want to kick ass and make this place better than you found it . like a fuckin girl scout man . and thats inspiring . you are so fucking funny . . . and really ?? you read the shit outta that fanfic . i support you 10000000% to become a producer for films . like you said , one day we’ll be each other’s date to the oscars . you are absolutely gorgeous . thank you for being you . i love you .

@fawnbuns : cynthia . you stink . calling me out ya Nasty . im kidding omg i love you . you literally are gorgeous , both inside and out . you are so talented !! i mean , bro ?? you capture rey so well . it makes me a happy camper . you have such a kind and loving spirit , babe . even tho u like the color shit brown . probs why you stink . but really . . . i love you so much . you are so funny with ur damn jar jar binks bullshit and jabba the slut . even though you can drive me nuts with that , i still am bawling with laughter . you have such a captivating personality . you just light up a room the minute you say hi . you are so lovely and kind and awe inspiring . thank you for being you . i love you .

@jedibetrayed / @horrcrshow : emma . ok literally . . . we slept on such an amazing friendship for so long and honestly ?? thats nasty . shit ok so . you are !! so cute . you are such a generous and loving person . youre so funny . and damn , you write so wonderfully . your ability to prose the shit outta things is so cool . . . and i definitely can find inspiration from your work . you are so wonderful and are always there for your friends . its amazing . you have such a hopeful personality and its just . . . wonderful . god , youre wonderful . you care so much about people and its truly inspiring , babe . you inspire me . god . ok thank you for being you . i love you .

@alderess : sunny . youre the newest in the group , but honestly ?? you fit right in . your alias fits you so well . . . youre literally the personification of sunshine . you care so much about people and you are so kind and its . . beautiful . theres not enough in this world . and not only that ?? but you capture leia so well !! i mean damn !! and your writing is beautiful . absolutely beautiful . just like you !! and an added bonus ?? you like theater . i mean , ,, hello ?? thats amazing . youre amazing !! thank you for being you . i love you .

@chromedwill : leo . man you are generous as fuck . how can you be letting all of us stay at ur place ?? ur nuts . i love you . and im so proud of you !! i love hearing about roller derby and how you kick absolute ass !! im amazed !! and im so ready to see you in action in june !! thats gonna be so cool . youre so cool . and youre such a strong person . and im so , so , so proud of you . you are beautiful and funny as hell . and bitch the way you write phasma ?? amazing . absolutely amazing . youre amazing . shit . tbh you inspire me to want to work out again tbh ?? maybe that sounds weird but ,,, the way you kick absolute ass ?? its inspiring dude . and i love it . thank you for being you . i love you .

this is quite a long post . and tbh ?? i didnt say all that i wanted about my friends . i could write a novel each about them . and im so blessed for that . im so blessed for them . these people mean so much to me . . . and i just want to thank them for not giving up on me . for always being there . for always being kind and loving . im truly , truly blessed for them . thank you .

#long post.#forcedpower #forcebound #hechose #chromedwill #jedibetrayed #horrcrshow #alderess #fawbuns #bloodofvader #positivity !

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