#im torn between obv not wanting it for him

[murdererofthumbs]

Listen, although I do find it pretty exciting to see Kendall entering his Evil Era and actually becoming a killer, I can’t stop thinking about the consequences of him leaking all the shitty mud information they have on Logan. Like yeah, PR-wise that might be a great idea, it might actually solidify his position as a CEO (and he is obviously going to try and fuck up Matsson deal and take over the Waystar - I don’t know why he would want to captain the fucking sinking Titanic, but okay). But on the other hand, all the dirt coming out about Logan will be potentially catastrophic for Roman. Apart from the fact that Kendall is very clearly betraying his brother, literally like 5 seconds after he preached about them being a team; Roman will very likely suffer the most if stuff about Logan being an abusive father comes out.

First, it will flip his whole viewpoint upside down - he is so deep in denial and so trauma-bonded to Logan that he doesn’t even acknowledge his abuse, not even when in happens in real time. He doesn’t want to see his father as a monster and as his abuser, because that would actually require him to accept that he was a victim, that he was this beaten dog that everyone already sees him as (to one degree or another). Not to mention all the lies he tells himself about Logan and him being a good dad will go straight down the drain, and can you imagine what happens when something you believed for 40-or-so years cracks down in front of you? Kendall is about to break his reality.

Another aspect is that exposing Roman’s abuse to the whole world will likely destroy any and all opportunities that Roman ever had when it comes to rising to power (even if I’m unsure how much he actually cares about becoming a CEO). He might get some sympathy points, although I very much doubt that he will ever accept that form of pity from anyone. His image will be forever tainted and solidified as “the abused one” or the “one that was hit by his dad”. Can you imagine Roman’s reaction when that whole shitshow leaks? He does say at some point in the preview that he is finished, and although it might allude to Gerri putting out the whole dick pic situation, it might also very well be that his public image will forever now revolve around how his dad hit and abused him (his dad who was essentially his god in more than one way, who he was, and is trauma bonded to, who he came back to time and time again).

Kendall has a tendency of using his siblings trauma to forward his own position (even when he wanted to one up Logan in episode 2 by bringing up Roman’s and Connor’s trauma) and this is no different. But it’s a very easy way for him to blow up whatever alliance was ever between sibs. So yeah, I think Kendall as a killer is a great thing to watch, but also… well, Roman girl in me is already screaming in the void from the possible pain we might come to watch unravel in real time.

[itslittlegiggle]

vega omg i need to hear ALL your aot thoughts im obsessing so hard over this show (/not forced)

*cracks knuckles* let's gaoux (thx for being patient bb)

I feel like this is going to be So Unorganized but I just have so many thoughts that it's inevitable at this point lol

so first off,,

as you can obviously tell, armin is my CHILD. my son. my reason for being tbh. so I'm gonna start with him

I love the idea of armin being like, stupid ticklish. he gives like "you just look ticklish" vibes, impossible to fight me on this. obv eren tickles him the most, and sometimes mikasa, ever since then were kids. also reiner tickles him fairly often (lowkey realllllly love reimin or arurei or whatever their ship name is lol), and jean also to a lesser extent (also love jearmin!). armin is really ticklish everywhere but his thighs are his WORST spot, like he just breaks down into helpless squealing laughter. his knees and hips and sides are also pretty bad. idek man I'll probably have to make a separate post for him sometime bc I have 1000000000 thoughts tbh and I want to do other characters in this post too hahaha

EREN okay eren. I'm always torn between his ribs and his neck and his tumby for his worst spot, depends on my mood I guess lol but he is also ticklish everywhere. he is DRAMATIC when he's tickled, like he yells and swears and makes threats, even when it's just someone like armin or mikasa tickling him which he doesn't even really mind. when it's someone like jean tho he goes actually feral, will bite 100%. is also totally the person to deny he's ticklish, like armin will poke his ribs to get his attention (not even meaning to tickle him) and eren will YELP and when connie or someone is like "woah, are you okay?" mikasa will just go "oh yeah he's fine, he's just really ticklish" and eren goes red and he's like "SHUT UP MIKASA NO I'M NOT" also will probably have to make an eremin specific post at some point lol

okay reiner. literally reiner is the best ler, he's so fun but careful and he's def the resident tickle monster (so is connie but in a more annoying way lmao). tickles armin quite a bit, like he's made it his mission to make armin smile (bc armin is CUTE), but he's more like fun and gentle when tickling armin. when it's eren or berthold or connie he's way meaner lmao like he will make them scream on principle alone. reiner is most ticklish on the backs of his ribs, makes him laugh super LOUD and DEEP and it's actually awesome. but bc he can turn the tables so easily if the others want to get him good for longer than 10 seconds they have to like, dogpile him lol

random segue to levi, idk I just thought of him next lol. most ticklish on his hips and the sides of his back. like if erwin really wants to make him squirm he'll tickle the sides of levi's back suuuuper gently with his nails until levi actually whines (and then punches him lmao). honestly canon-verse I don't think anyone tries tickling him.. in a head canon-verse where he and erwin are together (like the hc I just gave lol) I feel like erwin tickles him a lot when they're cuddling or early in the morning, whenever levi's guard/aggression is down more, and his laugh is all stutter-y and raspy and it's actually really really cute. these are pretty much my only thoughts on levi bc I feel like his character is hard to add tickles to without it being super out of character (super impressed when people write tickle fics with levi that actually feel levi-esque, definitely not something I could accomplish so it always leaves me in awe) , but they're Very Important to me and I stand by them!!!

ummmmm okay I have so many more TOO MANY MORE this is too chaotic. I could make this 10000 pages long

KAZ PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE A DIFFERENT SPECIFIC CHARACTER OR SCENARIO OR EXTENSIONS OF THESE IN MIND FOR HEADCANONS OKAY I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS AND I HAVE UNLIMITED THOUGHTS FOR MY AOT BABIES!!!!!

[queernoctis]

i did it.... im free of rebirth spoiler hell... a collection of unfiltered thoughts below [spoilers obv]

first off here's my stupid long liveblog thread on twitter. lots of screenshots of sephiroth there.

-glennseph on main BUT GOD I FEEL SUCH A WAY ABOUT SEPH USING GLENN TO FUCK WITH RUFUS.... BUT DUMB LITTLE RARE PAIR GETTING SOME FOOD

-Every cloud ship ate in this game oh my god. i think clerith prob got hte Most but sefikura, zakkura, cloti, fucking roche/cloud even love and peace on planet earth

-ZACK ZACK ZACK ZACKARY FAIR THE MAN THAT YOU ARE his little depression shack in midgar, feeling torn between helping biggs and helping cloud BEING WILLING TO GO TO HOJO TO HELP CLOUD ugh. and seeing biggs shot right in front of him in one world too. my man is truly experiencing the horrors. love to see that if he lives he'll be a dilf tho.

-ough the northern crater and cloud handing over the black materia is going to be so fucked and so tasty in r3 i just know it. he's already acting so fucky. i cant wait to see him beg hojo for a number.

-sephiroth clone roche.... oh my boy what did you do....

-gongaga was everything i wanted and more. cissnei. the cc music. just. ough.

-speaking of cc tho.... where is he..... my beloved fruit....mr drama king himself..... god the whole Loveless play was just teasing me the entire time. especially summonign fuckig Phoenix at the end. if genesis isnt in R3 im going to sue. idk who but someone.

-cloud actually remembering zack and then "remembering" a death for him.... ough that shit hurted

-jut. fuck. the Everything from the temple of the ancients to the end. it was all so much but it was all so good.

-i feel like overall it was easier than remake?? but that might be because i beat remake on hard not too long ago. now i have to debate if i want to beat This game on hard. [pls tell me not too]. the final boss still took me like five tries tho.

-Elena's pink girly pop gun. that is all.

[chubearr]

MY JWCC S5 REVIEW ♡ SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

》 you have been warned ⚠️

》 to start off, WHAT A RIDE THIS SEASON WAS!!! theres lots of opinions, like the finale pacing etc, but tbh; with 12 episodes i think they did pretty well ending the show with the time they had! to me personally it didnt feel rushed at all, i actually wanted everything to pick up the pace so the kids could be happy and safe again 😭 with that out of the way, lets get to it!

》story & mr.kon

- s5 continues off right from the end of the previous season, where the camp fam meet Mr. Daniel Kon, Kenji's father!!!

- right off the bat mr.kon seems pretty trusting and relieved to see his son, but theres still hesitancy to trust him from the kids and quite frankly, the fandom as well. the kids out kash on all of his BS and mrkon rightfully so punishes him, and gets the kids to safety with food and SHOWERSSSS YESSSSS THEY CAN FINALLY SHOWER!! (kenji shaved and also brooklyn redyed her hair idk how) but at what cost.... its just too good to be true! ep1 is pretty tame, it gives the kids a break FINALLY and mae gets patched up!

- the story from then on goes to the kids doing their thing, sussing mr.kon out, rightfully so, while being torn on breaking kenjis heart abt the truth abt his dad and saving dinos, usual jwcc shenanigans ensue.

- I THINK MRKON WAS WELL DONE. his manipulation game is off the charts and he knows how to act fr, the way he can flip sides when hearing things he does not like in a second, he does it to kenji too. and hes not unhinged like kash, mr.kon IS the mastermind, hes very smart and knows how to manipulate kenji— its so heart breaking. in my s5 predictions post i said it could go two ways; mr.kon as an ally to the kids against kash, or mr.kon being the real enemy. LOOKS LIKE THE LATTER...

- my only gripe is i wish they showed more abt how mr.kon got this way— like was it the mothers death, or is it a trait that got passed down by his own father, or is it just simply greed?? who knows. its never really answered if he does care for his son or not? to me i think it was just convenient at the time for kenji to be around— i didnt see any signs mrkon ever showed affection for kenji when it didnt benefit him 😭😭 which is DEVASTATING. mrkon was out of the parenthood game fr...

- as usual, all the adults die fr but theyre badguys and death-by-dino is sick asf so i love it! EVEN KASH GOT GOT and that was sooo satisfying. mae was safe tho and as she should!!

- ok so apart of me really wanted mr.kon to get a redemption arc or smth— like a bigger bad makes him ally with the kids and he really bonds with kenji.. but then kash dies so im like "WELL there goes that possibility" and then i had hope for the investors to turn on mr.kon— nope they all died except for the lady IN WHICH the antagonist from jw:dominion comes in (the guy who runs biosyn i forgot his name) but then obv cant be possible bc they cant kill him off since he has to appear in his own movie... IN THE END, no redemption for mr.kon and fine. thats fine im fine.

- OK ill be honest MR.KON IS KINDA.. BAD OK? LIKE.. 😳 HELP  IM SORRYYYY its just the way he grabbed kash by his the back of his neck and was "go back to whatever hole u came from" IT MADE ME FEEL SMTH A LITTLE OK.. he lookin for a stepmom for kenji or... 🤭.... IM SORRY HES AN ATTRACTIVE SINGLE DAD ALSO A VILLAIN, WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME 😭😭 i was taking notes while watching the season and if you see them its just me simping for mr.kon HELp

- ok ANYWAY the fact that he was legit willing to let the kids die and even LET DARIUS GET KILLED in front of kenji i knew... it was over..

- final confrontation between kenji and mrkon was sad😭 HE LEGIT JUST LEFT HIS SON ON AN ISLAND THAT HE BELIEVED WAS GONNA GO TO SHIT... apart of me wants to be like "oh he probably thought kenji was better off with them" but its pretty much apparent ig that he does not give a shit abt kenji— which is why i wish theyd spent some time showing kenjis history w/him bc we know mrkon was not present most of his life, but there SEEMED to be something more. oh well. bye bye mrkon!! AND HE GETS ARRESTED OFFSCREEN TOO, which is just sad for kenji 😭

- THE LAST EPISODE is absolutely my favorite and the ENDING is amazing ill tell u why in a sec just u wait!!

》kenji vs campfam

- ill say it again KENJI IN A SUIT AND BETRAYAL I FORSEENT ITTTTT

- to start off I THINK BOTH SIDES HAD THEIR FAULTS AND RIGHTS BUT ohh my godd kenji deserved a break ok.. i may be biased bc he is my favorite son

- IT WAS SO OBVIOUS HE WAS MANIPULATED and has daddy issues, and im so glad brooklyn saw that. I WAS PISSED that no one else did, like ur telling me ben and yas couldnt see it? i think they were a bit dramatic on their hatred for kenji but ig its understandable bc out of everyone they arent that close w/ him....  BUT STILL. messy.

- I WAS SO PISSED AT SAMMY AT FIRST FOR BEING INDECISIVE bc shes torn between her bestie kenji, and her other besties+yasmina. tho i do believe she never blamed kenji by the way their reunion went (she was just happy he was back w/them) so ill give her a pass.

- IM CONFLICTED ABT DARIUS bc i thought originally he was just too heartbroken abt kenji yet hes not used to talking abt his feelings hence needing the dinosaur interaction. but he just said he didnt care??? like bro... why r u lyin.

- darius at least shouldve stepped up a little bc other than brooklyn, he knows kenji had issues with his dad... oh well.. dino lovers are crazzzzy

- im at least glad he was the one who stayed mad at kenji for the longest #payback my broken boys... BUT it paid off when darius forgave kenji THEY BOTH CRIED?! i cried. it was so sweet and idc if anyone thinks "kenji was forgiven too early and it was rushed", bc truth is hes a kid with dad issues and the others are kids and they are family and they! need! each other!!

》yasammy (& kenlynn)

- CAN I JUST SAY LETS TAKE THIS W YASAMMY FANSS YESSSSSSSSS  also BISEXUAL YAS RIGHTS?!?! sammy is the lesbian this is so true

- yasminas whole crush arc was just adorable and so fitting for her to open up to ben 😭 bc ben is like so chill right

- i like how they didnt make it a big deal, it was just abt yasmina figuring herself out and when she made her move, IT WAS REWARDING!! i screamed at the kiss... they r so adorable.. silly gfs 💖

- im so glad they didnt shy away from shoving it in our faces bc THOSE GIRLS DESERVE ITTTT FRRR,, THE KISS!!! THE KISSSSSSSSS

- as equally cute as kenlynn, they both have equal screentime which was a blessing!

- kenlynn pained me so bad when brooklyn was broken abt kenji 😭 its what i love, angst, but gdi i wish she held on a little longer but understandble bc kenji was kinda wack himself for staying with his dad that long...

- THE DATE THING WAS SO CUTE KENJI IS SO SOFT, ,HIS SUIT AND THE FLOWER.. I SCREAMED!!

- AND YET IT WAS HEARTBREAKING...he got stood up... smh... its fine.. it all got healed when he gave her the flower fr <3

- THE LAST EP KISS... i cried and threw up i love my kids... HOW COULD U HATE THEM THEYRE SO SOFT AND SWEET im holding them both in my arms 💖💖

》timeskip

- THIS WAS THE ABSOLUTE BEST PART. WHEN OLDER DARIUS SHOWED ON THE SCREAM I YELLED (INAUDIBLY BC IT WAS 4AM)

- THIS IS LEGIT ALL I WANTED, A TIMESKIP TO END THE SHOW (u can see my previous posts i mention this shit a lot and i even have my own au and older designs for them..)

- YASAMMY IN TEXAS THIS IS SO TRUE.. STAY SAFE GFS... im so mad sammy didnt change her clothes HELP shes still wearing thay goddamn shirt and has similar length hair but its fine yasmina being gorgeous made up for it 👍

- KENLYNN GOIN STRONG longdistance relationship goals, i love their designs so much😭😭 kenji w/his hair down AND brooklyn short hair?!?! short haired women rights its all i wanted 💃

- in my timeskip au i had darius work with dinos back on the island but its more fitting that ben has that role (working w/mae) which is so adorable...

- IM GLAD I PREDICTED BENRIUS WOULDNT HAPPEN bc theyre too innocent and busy being dino obsessed obv!! we didnt get timeskip benrius but theres still hope 😌 theyre just both aro-ace theyll work smth out..

- they fact they keep in touch is so sweet HELPP in my au they all drifted apart 💀 it was for the angst im sorry

- KENJI GETS ADOPTED INTO THE BOWMAN FAMILY SO TRUE... its so sad that with no mom or dad (jail) hes p much an orphan but at least he got darius,, it was so sweet when the mom hugged him at the mainland reunion 🥲 ALSO KENJI STILL OWNS MANTAH CORP?? OR SMTH LIKE IT BC ITS MENTIONED HES KEEPING THE PRIVATE ISLAND RUNNING so mae n ben can work there... SO TRUE

- LETS TALK AGES:

ok so from my research since the show goes alone the movies timeline, s1 takes place in 2015!! fallen kingdom is 3yrs after, and dominion (which i assume begins when darius sees the dinosaur outside his house) is 4 years later making the year 2022.

》so its like jwcc s1 age/ fallen kingdom(s5 timeskip) age/ dominion age

• darius: 12/15/19

• brooklyn: 13/16/20

• ben: 14/17/21

• sammy: 14/17/21

• yasmina: 15/18/22

• kenji: 15/18/22

- me sobbing.. they grew up so fast.. i love my kids... my age theory also may be sooo wrong but it makes more sense if theyre all in their 20s by the end! livin the adult life #goodluck

》final thoughts and thanks

- THIS SHOW IS LEGIT THE BEST AND A GODDAMN BREATH OF FRESH AIR COMPARED TO OTHER SHOWS coughMLBcough what who said that 🤨😳🤭

- from s1 to the end i never got tired of it or it never swayed from my interests, i drew fanart so quick, more than ive done for a lot of other fandoms i was in 😭💖

- i wouldnt mind a sequel with the older camp fam, but if its thats it thats okay too!! lets not get greedy guys...

- EXPECT GIFSETS AND FANART IN THE FUTURE!! my life is so busy crazy rn but i will make time for jwcc shit if its the last thing i do!!!

- lastly, thank you for joining me on this ride! jwcc brought me lots of new tumblr followers which was a surprise! 💖

i know somehow toxicity will find its way to this season, but what else would i expect LMAO idc i will fight with all ive got as usual 😉

- lets all take this W fr, this show was so good. also, sorry for any spelling and grammar errors in the review!

[reggiepeters-love-bot]

apparently all i do now is tell yall my thoughts on whatever i recently watched instead of trying to come up with good content. anyway, i finished nhie s3 today, so:

- ive never been team benvi, but i dont feel super mad abt it as much as i wouldve a few years ago

- paxton my boy ily, amazing character development 

- i wish daxton dated for longer. i feel like there was too much buildup to them being an official couple for them to break up so soon

- i didnt like the timeskip. ik in some way it was necessary but also ive just always hated random time skips

- i love aneesa, just like everyone else on here i wish she got more screentime. glad she dumped ben and didnt take any of his disrespect

- fabneesa,,,, why did that happen if they were gonna throw it away so quickly. it had potential and coulda been a good storyline for both fab and aneesas characters but it literally did nothing

- also w fab,, even though she had a good amount of screentime i feel like there wasnt enough storyline from her. like when she was dating eve we had her whole thing about struggling with still not fitting in even in a queer group and feeling like she had to not be herself. this season, all of her plot points were so rushed. between eve being written out in the first five minutes to literally n o n e of her relationship with addison being shown, fab as her own individual character felt kinda forgotten about. and then her just randomly telling devi and el about losing her virginity when a) el got her own lil storyline for that and then b) as dumb as it may sound, losing their virginities was kinda a big deal for those three and to have it brushed off for one of them feels weird

- trent and eleanor r everything to me. i love them dearly

- character growth from all the vishwakumars>>  wont waste time on devi bc whatever everyone else has said i agree. but nalini not being so strict with devi and their relationship being stronger and healthier is so nice to see. proud of kamala for moving out and for also not just doing whatever her family wanted her to do. and then nirmala coming around and being understanding of kamala after hearing her out. all of it is so good

- i honestly liked des and devi together. they had good chemistry and devi was also in a place where she could be more confident in herself. obv he sucked for not defending devi to his mom but im not too torn up over them breaking up, especially since it furthered devis development

- the way that rhyahs behavior started out as small things to kind of hint at the kind of person she was before the final straw of what she said about devi was rly interesting and i appreciated it from a storytelling standpoint, esp bc nalini was wary of it every time

- glad ben is a better person now. still not my fav

- someone pointed out that the ben and margot thing was put aside in order for there to be drama next season, but i didn’t like that it was just completely forgotten about. like, they agreed to a date and then it was never mentioned again,, like, not even in passing

- eleanor and paxton besties, love to see it

- also trent being sad about paxton leaving was so cute i love him. and him giving paxton his hat,,, monumental

- trents love language in general i love. when el was at dinner with him and he said “not even weed makes me this happy” was freaking everything and i love that eleanor understood how much that meant

- while the show had a lot of strong moments and the best character development of all the seasons, i feel there were also plenty of things that moved too quickly and didnt get enough time and werent explored enough

thats all. take a shot for every use of “character development”

[fandom-go-round]

im not for sure if requests are open in general so if not ignore this please

so i was reading through the fgo x reader tag and came across the reverse au, and being more curious i looked on your blog and boom! you're taking requests for fate lol.

late at night im just deprived of arthur pendragon (prototype) x readers. anything. anything i need. so either headcanons of that reverse au would be great or if you aren't into it then how about arthur comforting reader when they have nightmares? idek i just want something fluffy or dark but romantic (?) idek what i want ig ☠️. but either one would be great please and thank you!! remember to take your time obv with all these requests and i wish you a good day/night!!

Thank you so much Anon, I appreciate your patience. To be honest, I have no idea what the reverse AU is but I can do dark but romantic! Hopefully these are what you’re looking for, if not let me know and I can come up with something else!

Warnings: Dark Characters, Yandere Characters, Unhealthy Relationships, Possessive Behavior, Implied Unnamed Character Death

Arthur is a curse and a blessing. He’s one of the most powerful Servants out there, moving through enemies with a grace that’s as impressive as it is terrifying. He sees his duty as taking care of you and making sure that you’re safe. What he deems a “threat” however, is open to interpretation.

He had been quick to declare his love for you and you were torn between being flattered and skeptical. Arthur is a gorgeous man and to have all his attention can be enough to make you freeze. His eyes are so blue and so intense that it’s hard to hold his gaze for more than a few moments. This just makes him more enamored with you; his shy little master.

You find your life is on a much shorter leash then before. Arthur has to make sure that everything is vetted through him and not much passes his tests. Your friends can’t visit, and you stop going out as much. The more you listen to him the happier his gets but the stricter he becomes. It’s a double-edged sword.

You wake up in the middle of the night to find Arthur sitting on the edge of your bed, fingers gently petting your hair. It’s hard to understand what’s going on when you’ve just woken up but you know his smile is off. There’s blood on his face but he doesn’t let you ask, tucking you back into bed and helping you sleep. You never find out what actually happens, something like worry settling in your gut. Arthur is so sweet and protective of you but he’s also going to leave after this, right?

[dragqueenpentheus]

Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

[solasan]

evens for your hawke/anders 🥰

2. big spoon / little spoon?

oh anders is little spoon for sure. delly’s a few inches taller than him and just. big. he likes her being all curled around him. feels safe

4. favourite non-sexual activity?

oh killing templars for sure. u kno how the saying goes; the couple who revolutions together stays together

6. what is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

i mean ok i could say something rly sappy abt Personalities and Emotions but anders is so fucking here for delly’s muscles. her arms distract him on the daily. he has injured himself during battles getting distracted by his gf’s sick biceps. on delly’s side it’s probs his nose. she thinks his nose is adorable. she kisses it all the time bcos shes dumb and soft

8. nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

oh hell yeah. anders calls delly ‘heidi’ all the time, and the gang kinda try and tease them for it for all of abt two seconds before she pulls her red hawke angry face and they all mysteriously forget they ever heard it. but also he calls her ‘liebling’ sometimes, bcos it’s cute. he doesnt tell her what it means for ages, even when she pesters him. dell’s not rly the nickname type, but she’ll call him ‘dearest’ when no one else is around and hes always a little 🥺

10. who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

delly for sure. this is partly bcos she insists on getting him a fuckload of food whenever they’re at the hanged man (and also when hes at home) bcos she doesn’t think he eats enough, and she’s a massive mother hen. but also she just pays attention a lot; she’s sorta like the mom watching fondly as her entire family eats whenever they all get together, making sure everyone’s taking care of themselves but trying not to be obv abt it

12. who initiates kisses?

in the beginning, usually anders. delly’s not inexperienced by any means but she’s just super hesitant abt affection. touch-starved and confused u kno. fun times. but once things have settled in a bit it massively skews to her; she’ll kiss him whenever and wherever, and doesn’t care who sees. he super does not mind

14. who kisses the hardest?

oo toughy. probably delly, but i mean, they’re both super passionate? it’d be a toss-up, im just going w delly bcos she’s clumsier w it

16. who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

again probably delly. anders is more disciplined abt making sure hes awake, plus hes always super paranoid when he’s not at the clinic that someone needs him, so he’s up and out like a shot

18. who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (bonus: what does it usually say?)

tbh i think they’re both way too chaotic for this. neither of them have their life together that much. they both often forget to eat lunch anyway

20. what do their family/friends think of their relationship?

bethany is…. torn? on one hand her and anders are only civil rly like half the time. on the other, he makes delly so happy, and delly is bethany’s favourite person, so she’s overjoyed to see it. and before leandra died, she sort of….. hesitantly approved? she was a bit overwhelmed abt the parallels between her and malcolm and delly and anders (highborn — technically — lady & roguish apostate) tho

sebastian, aveline, and fenris think they rly just make each other worse, bcos neither of them rly get along w them (rip). merrill thinks it’s sweet; isabela jokes a lot abt them, but isn’t particularly of one mind either way. mostly she’s glad the pining is over. varric is v taken w them from a writer’s perspective; probably the only reasons he doesnt publish a serial abt them are 1) the whole chantry thing and 2) delly would murder him

22. who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

dont let anders cook. delly’s good at the basic stuff, but nothing fancy; anders is bad bad bad

24. who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

oh anders for sure. delly blushes w her whole body so everybody fucking knows whats happening anyway. she absolutely makes him pay for it later

26. what would be their theme song?

this is not a theme song (bcos the only theme song i can currently think of is scooby doo) but nfwmb by hozier is the ultimate handers song

28. what do they do when they’re away from each other?

i mean they’re adults capable of being apart so they dont pine or sob or go bella swan catatonic. but they’re not often apart, after da2, bcos they like. have a family together and live together. when they are tho they write each other letters, which always take an age to reach the other person, and somehow manage to straddle the line between ‘stupidly sappy’ and ‘concisely informational’ in a way that rly only delly could do

30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends your heart

nothing even breaks my heart they are my one happy ship. but uhhhh when delly gets pregnant w posy she temporarily becomes little spoon bcos both anders and justice rly love just going to sleep w their hand on her belly and feeling the little life in there, and it is The Softest Thing. when she kicks for the first time, anders notices almost before delly does

[shitfics]

hi, im a fanfic writer who is trying to break into original fiction and publication. i noticed in the notes of one of your short stories that you were trying to write longer chapters. One of my favourite stories by you, One of These Nights is 90,000+ over 11 chapters. what kind of advice would you give to someone like me who struggles to break over 2,500 words per chapter? how can i work to make my chapters longer and still be interesting like yours? thank you x

Oh gosh, thank you so much! I'm hoping to break into original stuff too, and maybe get published, but don't have much hopes for it yet...still slugging away at my wip. ^^; It's sweet that you hold my stuff highly! And I'm sorry this got a bit long…I'm not good at being succinct when trying to talk about writing things, since I still feel so clueless myself. I’ve put most of the rambling behind a read more. 

For me really, writing longer things has just taken time…not in the sense of taking time to write a story (tho obvs it does), but like, each thing I wrote naturally got longer and longer as I got more used to storytelling, I guess? At this point, I think everything I write is almost too long, so I'm wondering what story it was I wanted longer chapters on…lol. It was kinda like lifting weights in a way, lol…I took a long time before I could get to 90k, and you can kinda see how each story got longer and longer (copy and paste was 12k, synchronicity/book of blood were around 20k, da au was 40k in part one/60k in part 2, and the hyung au was 90kish). 

Ofc I have a few breaks from that pattern, but those were kinda 'side projects' for fun that I wanted to keep short, like the esports ontae. Wherever you're at right now in terms of overall story length, I think writing regularly is the most important for building the "endurance" for longer stories and scenes -- and being as patient with yourself as you can about getting there is ideal. It’s a lot like working yourself up to lifting heavier weights, imo.(And full disclaimer though, my confidence/mental health wrt my writing is generally rock bottom, so I know it's not easy lol.)

Once I got into writing longer stories, I've kinda grown to see writing as having two kinda moods: gut-level writing, stuff you HAVE to get down and are dying to write, and the 'fill-in', less exciting parts or parts you really have to discipline yourself to get through.

For writing fic (especially shorter fic), I know I started with just gut-level writing. And for short stuff, that's generally all you need! I really struggled (and still kinda do) when I got to the point where that wasn't enough to fill in a long story, but I've kinda found a way of dealing it.

I don't know if it's a good habit, depending on how you work and how your ideas come about, but for me, I start by writing as much as possible for the scenes I do have fairly established in my head, then create an outline and fill in/revise the rest. It makes it easier for me to feel like I'm working off of inspiration and not just a rigid outline, so I get a good mix of the story/characters 'developing naturally' and 'not going entirely off the rails.' I will say that I think I struggle with endings because of it tho, since the 'gut-level' stuff for me rarely/never touches that part of the story. I usually have to outline to figure out where I want things to end up or what I want to show last.

For the your chapters question -- I'm not sure if by 'chapters' you might mean scene (since a lot of people break things up that way), or if you just mean in terms of other chapter divisions, but I'm gonna try and address both!

Personally, I don't really think in terms of chapters, if that makes sense? That part comes way later when I'm writing. Like right now, I'll be honest and say I don't have set 'chapter' divisions in my head yet for my wip, lol, tho the scenes might be long enough for stand-alone chapters. When I start a story (either with just inspiration or from an outline), it's a matter of scenes, and then after that, I figure out how many scenes I want in a chapter and what would feel "right" in terms of dividing them.

Usually, when I end a chapter it's either because it's an emotional high-point, it feels like a "natural" place to break (due to a jump forward in time for the next scene/resolution to a current conflict), or it's somewhere I need to change the point of view (if I'm writing a story with multiple). Like, for a high-point, I'd think of ending after the scene in hyung au where Jinki comes out, or in the esports thing, where ontae sleep together the first time. For "natural" break places, it's often a matter of time/resolutions, like…jongyu parting ways before jinki starts japanese promotions in hyung au, or in my current wip, them kinda breaking up for a few months after a fight. Pov changes for breaks are pretty self-explanatory and I could go on forever about how I try to pick which pov to use for a scene/chapter, but I think the most important thing is to use those breaks to avoid confusion.

As far as interest goes -- making sure scenes have enough "meat" to them without dragging can be hard, esp if you're trying to setup a plot. Imo, scenes are interesting when there's conflict or emotional high points of some kind (which can be a lot of different things). Once you figure out which of those you want in a scene, I think it gets easier to write around that.  Like, to go back to hyung au, when Jinki came to visit Jong at Blue Night and they hung out after -- I started the scene just knowing I wanted Jinki to surprise him, because I thought that'd be cute.

So in thinking about what purpose the scene might serve to move things forward…I knew mood-wise I wanted to capture some more of the uncertainty of how to act around each other, now that they're both know the other is gay, have Jinki be torn between making a move/confessing and his fear of changing things for the worse, set them up for some messy revelation of feelings in the next scene, and ofc have them both be horny because how else are you gonna feel being around your crush for the first time in a month.

Once that was kinda setup in my head, it was easier to fill in what the characters say/how they act. Jinki flirts with Jong on air, because that's 'safe' (it can't go anywhere since they're in a studio and it'd be easy to dismiss as not serious since he's in Onew-mode), Jong is defs very

And as another note…. I just think some parts are always going to be difficult to write, because we all have different strengths when it comes to writing. Like, I hate writing setting descriptions, so I don't do it much and generally provide a bare-minimum for scene context -- but when I need more for the purpose of mood or plot or whatever, it feels like pulling teeth. Since it's such a miserable process for me, and that's so long, I assume that means it sucks or it's a real slog for whoever's reading it, but…they don't always correlate.

Not every part of a project is gonna be fun -- which sucks! -- but it's also why it's important to take mental breaks and imo, step away from your story at milestones. It's not great to make yourself miserable for writing, (I say while I doing just that most of the time), but I think going in with the knowledge that it IS going to be hard sometimes can help. The more stories you write, the more you'll be able to hone your instinct for like...if you're struggling because there's something wrong with the plot/scene/prose or if it's just because writing be like that sometimes.

Oof, this got too long, and I don’t even know how much of it is useful, but I hope it might help a bit? Thank you again for the compliment and best of luck with your writing!!

[biaswreckingfics]

Okay now I think I can share some thoughts (fyi still screaming, now just internally)

First of all!!! WHAT!! AN!! AMAZING!! CHAPTER!! I am obsessed!!!! Literally, they only kissed, and still, my heart was beating so fast out of excitement!! First, you leave us with the almost-kiss at the end of pt 11 and now they were basically all chapter long almost-kissing lol but when it finally happened it was perfect!!! Totally worth the wait! Couldn’t imagine a better first kiss for the two hehe and I am so so excited about all the teasing from the others that is coming

Anyway… some of my fav parts (kiss is on top, no doubt lol) (also I’m living for sunwoo being a warning)

There is someone you’re trying to impress after all - heheh mc finally admitting all the spicy intentions she has,, im here for it

“Together?!” Kevin loudly exclaims, nearly falling out of his chair in shock - the image I have of this scene lol I was cackling and nothing really happened yet

Of course, he knows you’re lying - idk what is better, sunwoo knowing she is lying or she knowing that sunwoo knows that she is lying (did that make any sense? I’m still dazed, forgive me)

(Also can’t copy out the entire section but Sophia??? i was head over heels for her before and now I am officially in love with her)

“Unfortunately, I insist,” he responds with a glance toward Sunwoo. - I want to know what exactly sunwoo said to hak to make him insist

You’re both adults. This is going to be totally fine.- LIES!!! BIG FAT LIES!!!!

“You’re not in the same cabin as that ship!” - ngl one of the top quotes from this chapter

“You didn’t ask that. You begged like I said.” - okay, love changmin for that. Also, finally we see all the teasing sunwoo gets!! I feel like before it was a lot on mc, seeing sunwoo finally being flustered is great hehe

All you know is that you want to lick - YES! ME TOO!!!!!


(During the entire almost-kiss in the cabin I was torn between screaming for obv reasons and wondering where the heck Sophia went lol was she just watching?? and her and sunwoo exploding after hyunjae interrupts??? I’m obsessed!! Plus Sophia v openly shipping sunwoo and mc here as well??? so so good)

Haknyeon is almost accidentally drowned by Kevin. All in all, it’s a fun time - again, peak comedy making me laugh at just them being idiots but also,,, how??

He stares at you with an adoring look (..) He moves closer to you, affectionately brushing your nose with his before his lips capture yours again. You hum into the kiss, and you feel him smile against your mouth. - you already know how I feel about the kiss lol but this??? This made me swoon its so so adorable and cute and just perfect

“None of you can!” Haknyeon irritably says from the couch. - poor hak, why didn’t he sleep in sunwoos car lol

(Also... the spicy talk about whether or not sunwoo wants her to be quiet?? Pls let him share he knows that she did some solo stuff to spicy thoughts of him)

The shameless flirting, the deep conversations, the kiss, the apparent planning of future sex, and now cuddling? Your brain has completely turned to mush. - mine too. It’s all too much,, all the feelings??? Plus sunwoo initiating the cuddling??? How did you manage to go from hard hours to soft hours so quickly?? Perfect way to end an amazing chapter!!! Can’t wait for what else is to come

Again, thank you for sharing your writing, it really makes me go through all kinds of emotions (but in a good way!!)

Take care and lots of love!!!!

My cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much 😭😭😂😂❤️❤️ I literally look like a doofus. I'm so happy you loved it and it made you swoon 🥰🥰 and honestly?? Their first kiss?? 😭😭 let me go cry real quick

You picked some of my absolute favorite moments as well!! 🥺❤️ The chaoticness of the friends, Kevin and Eric being a GIANT ass mess, and Sophia being an absolute QUEEN that we LOVE and STAN 👏👏👏

I think it says so much that they can just look at each other and know what the other is thinking!! Also, yes, you made sense 😂😂 or at least you made sense to me lol

It's fun making the boys tease Sunwoo!! It's been all about her being teased (especially by Sunwoo), so now that the tables have turned its 😈😈. Changmin outing Sunwoo is iconic and completely accurate lmao

Re: the almost kiss at the cabin - Sophia was quietly standing behind them bc she didn't want to interrupt their moment. Then, when Hyunjae interrupted it anyways, she was ready to fight 👊👊 lol, and YES, WE WANT TO LICK THAT MF TATTOO AND EVERYTHING ELSE. YES, I SAID IT.

Poor Haknyeon 😭😭 I'm just now realizing how much I put him through it this chapter lmao. Almost being drowned by Kev, probably being threatened by Sunwoo, having to share a cabin with 2 couples 🥴🥴. Maybe he will go sleep in Sunwoo's car lol

HIM BRUSHING HIS NOSE AGAINST HERS, OKAY, THANK YOU!! Bc I wrote that part and nearly melted into a puddle right on the damn floor 😭😭. Also, going straight from hard hours to soft hours?? I have no idea 😭😭 this whole part had me MESSER UP 😭😭. Do you see how many crying faces I'm using?!?!

[the-writer-ofthe-fandoms]

Nothing Expected (DBD Michael Myres)

Pairing: DBD!Michael Myers/Reader Words: 2,330+ Warning(s): Murder obv, blood, assult A/N: honestly just wrote this to get over writers block and get some frustration out :) dont worry nthing is happening that is too bad, just my internal feelings about someone in my life being an ass. also im a slut for michael myers and the DBD characters Beware!! This will probably be WAYYY out of character! Also I was inspired by from @cgi-monster and @lovethemurderer so I suggest checking their blogs~

   You sat at the campfire along with everyone, waiting for the next trail to start at any time. You sat between your two good friends Meg and David, while listen to Bill speak of his life. His stories always drew you in due to the sheer fact of him coming from a world different from yours.

   "Then, the asshole set off the alarm and we had to fight in the church. Infected crawled through windows, while we had to stand on benches. Zoey and Francis were back to back while Louis and I stood fought together in a corner. We were outnumbered, “ Everyone was leaning forward to Bill, waiting for him in anticipation for him to continued. "Then Francis shouted ‘Fire in the hole’ and next thing I knew infected parts flew everywhere. We managed to get out with only scrapes.”

   "Holy shit!“ David commented, completely engrossed in the story.

   "What happened with the guy in the safe room?” Claudette asked.

   "Turns out he was bitten, when the door opened he dropped down as a damn Smoker. I pulled out my pistol and ended him.“

   "Wow…” You awed along with everyone else.

   "Reminds me of a game I used to play.“ Feng Min smiled.

   "True badass.” David smirked, both Dwight and Jake nodded. “You never quit do you, Bill?”

   "I always look for a fight.“ He grunted. You smile and lean against Meg, these moments around the campfire gave you a spark of hope. Time in the trial, regardless if you died or not, was draining emotionally and physically.

    Everyone continued to share little memories, until a snap in the woods alerted the group. You didn’t worry it was one of the killers, since they never come to the fire, so that means it must be another poor soul sucked into this hell.  

   Your body went rugged at the sight before you, your hand gripped Meg and David’s wrists. Your abusive ex-boyfriend, Eric, now stood before you. Your past life wasn’t glamorous due to him, he lefts bruises and mental scars on you, but you were able to get away before you were pulled into this hell, and now it is like all those memories of him and you started crashing at once.

   All the other survivors took notice of your behavior, David and Meg pressed themselves against your sides, while Bill and Jake stood up, staring at Eric with expressions while Feng looked like she was about to fight if needed. You let go of your friend’s wrists, though they didn’t leave your side. You had told them all about the dark parts of your past involving him. Never had you expected to see him here.

   "Where the hell am I?” His oh so tough voice made shiver run down your spine. “(Y/N)!  You’ve been gone for months; your mother is worried sick.” Eric smirked and tried approaching you but Bill and Jake blocked his path.

   "Listen, you’ve been summoned here by the Entity. You must go through the trials and try to escape.“ Dwight informed him. "No matter what you do, you can never leave. ”

   "Trials? Entity?“

   "Look boy, you have one goal is to survive this hell with team work and cooperation, got it?” Bill spoke before turning his back, sitting down in his spot. “This place isn’t sunshine and cupcakes, you survive or die, only to go through the same shit again. Pull any shit here and the monsters in the trials won’t be your main problem.”

   Before anyone else could say anything else to Eric, darkness clouded around and you knew, it was time to start another trial.

–

   Your vision became clear and revealed to you were you were sent: Haddonfield. You let out a sigh of relief when you spotted the familiar houses and lights. Myres was a scary person to face against, but for some reason, you’ve never been killed or harmed by his hand. You’ve even come face to face with him once, across from a pallet you had knocked down. He stared at you, not moving before turning around, leaving you to escape.  It was strange, every killer had killed you at least once, but Michael never tried to. Perhaps he was toying with you, waiting for the perfect moment to strike

   You started working on generators, teaming up with either Claudette or Bill to pop a gen and scattering off. You were on your last generator when you heard rustling behind you, making you jump and stop working on it.  

   ”(Y/N)? Thank god I found someone.“ Eric’s voice called your name, making you sigh. He walked up next to you and started working on the gen with you. "All this is all so crazy… I almost ran into that guy with the mask.”

   "Yeah that’s The Shape, or Michael Myres, don’t let him stalk you or he gets stronger.“ You hoped he would stop talking to you and finish the generator.  You were glad he didn’t say much after that, allowing you to fully concentrate on the generator.  You smiled triumphantly as the gen 'popped’ and the lights connected turned on. You were about to walk away when a rough hand gripped your wrist.

   "This way! I heard the killer.” Eric whispered and dragged you along with him. His touch made you flinch as you stumble along, you just had to deal with it until the trial was over. Suddenly he came to a stop, you crashed into his back.  You glance around and notice you both where in a dark and secluded area of Haddonfield. You felt extremely uncomfortable. “Whew, I think we lost him.”

   "I don’t think he was coming-“

   "Shh he may hear us, baby.” You visibly gagged when he called you that petname. You felt his hand rub up from your wrist to your arm, causing you to start to back away from him.

   "Eric, I swear to god-“ His hand clamped over your mouth as he pushed you against a broken wall. His body trapped yours against the wall as his free hand messed with him of your shirt. You try and squirm from him but he was too strong for you, you only hoped that Bill or Claudette would come and help.

   "I missed you, (Y/N). After you broke up with me and left I didn’t have anyone else to mess with.” He growled, before his mouth attacked your neck, the stubble on his chin scratched your soft skin. You start to cry trying to beg for help through his hand as he continued nipping your skin.  

   You gritted your teeth and bit his hand, allowing you to finally cry out, though you weren’t able to call out, Eric was able to cover your mouth again. His hand that was close to going under your shirt gripped the collar and tore it down to your navel. You felt fear bubble inside you, hell in the realm just got ten times worse. You squeeze your eyes shut as you felt his rough hand touch your breast, knowing there was no hope.

   Your eyes snap open when you could hear heavy breathing coming from a slight distance. Your eyes widened when you saw Michael Myers watching. You could almost visibly see the dangerous aura around him. You notice Erics hand start to loosen over your mouth, moving it to tug at your pants.

   You lock eyes with Myers, at least you think you did, and hoped for the best.

    You mouthed ‘help me’ as a last-ditch effort

   In an instant, Eric was ripped from you;  Michael was holding him by his shirt as you slid down the wall, covering your chest. Your body was shaking as you watch Michael let go of Eric, only grip him by the neck and raise him off the ground. You saw the glint of the kitchen knife in Myers hand before he slowly stabbed Eric’s gut, twisting the knife as your ex tried hitting him, but it was too late. He tossed Eric’s body like it was nothing, making a ‘thump’ sound.

   You flinched when you notice Michael look down upon your disheveled appearance, bloody knife still dripping. You squeeze your eyes shut and hug your body, it looks like today may be the day Myers finally kills you. You waited for that killing blow, or some sort of grab… but neither of that happened. You opened your eyes and watched the tall killer squat down, before sitting on the ground with you. He raised a hand which made you wince a little, but the movement was slow, so you simply watched what he was going to do. His hand, unusually gentle, rested upon your head, giving you a soft pat.

   "Thank y-you… for helping me…“ You stutter. He nodded in response. "Uhm… I want to ask… why did you h-help me? And why haven’t you killed me?” He didn’t say anything, he just stared at you before grabbing your wrist, but unlike Eric, he wasn’t as rough. He turned your wrist, your palm facing upwards.  

   "Special.“ He traced with his finger, which sparked your cheeks to flush warm. "Who is he?” Michael then pointed to the corpse.

   "My ex-boyfriend from my past life.“ You started feeling a little more confident around him. "He… He used to hit me a lot and he mentally broke me at one point. Finally, I got away from him; putting a restraining order on him and moving away, just a month before I got pulled here.”

   "Oh.“ He traced before giving a nod. He tilted his head to the side and you followed his head movement. This was a very strange thing, but you felt secure in his presence. Though you felt some embarrassment, your shirt was torn, exposing my most of your chest. You felt your cheeks and the back of your neck heat up. He tilted his head again, you felt him looking over your body.

   Myers peeled off the top part of his jumpsuit before pulling off his black undershirt over head, gripping tight and handing it to you in a tight fist. You take the shirt carefully and put it on while Michael pulled back on his jumpsuit. You looked down at shirt, it was way too big for you. You giggled, covering mouth, as Michael looked at you. His shoulder’s began to shake like he was laughing as you lifted your arms, showing how much the shirt bagged.

   The distant howl of the exit doors echoed from the distance, snapping both your attention in the direction the noise came from. Michael stood up from the ground and offered you his hand. You gratefully take his offer and he easily pulled you up from the ground. Your legs were still a bit shakey, causing you to wobble and lean against Michael’s firm body. Without any warning, he picked you up and started walking towards the exist. You didn’t protest.

-

   You could see the open gate as Myres walked towards it. You could see Claudette leaning over Bill, helping him with a wound, before both their attention was on you.  

   “(Y/N)!” Bill screamed as Claudette gasped. Michael set you down carefully, allowing you to hold onto his forearms to keep stable before you could walk. You walked to the two while they cautiously eyed the both of you.  

   “What’s going on?” Claudette whispered. “And why are wearing his shirt?”

   “Eric… attacked me and he ripped my shirt.  Michael stepped in and helped me.” You replied, looking back to Michael, who was simply staring at the three of you.  

   “Are you okay? Eric didn’t…”

   “No, Michael stepped in before something could happen.” Claudette nodded and pulled you into a tight hug while Bill rested his hand on your shoulder. You smile but then glance back to Michael, who was still staring. You broke away from your two friends and approached the masked killer, tilting your head back ever so slightly while he tilted his downwards.  

   “I have to go now, Michael.” You spoke softly. He shook his head, his hands grip your shoulders. “I… honestly would love to stay with you, but what about the entity?”  

   “Safe,” He took your hand and traced. “With me.”  

   "I believe that, I do but the entity may get mad. It may take some time to get used to you, no offense, but I don’t want to be restricted from ever seeing you.” He stared at you before slowly nodding his head. You sigh with a smile, before slowly wrapping your arms around his waist, giving him a hug. He awkwardly reciprocated, though it was clear he was not used to this kind of affection at all; it was kind of comically but you kept in your chuckle.

   You break away from Michael, joining your two friends who were staring anywhere but on you two. Bill left first, giving you a nod while Claudette followed in suit. You look back to Myres, he was watching you intently. You gave him a small wave before running out into the field, as fast as you could to return to the camp fire.

-

   When you arrived to the campfire, everyone else was there. Some more bloodied than others. To your relief, Eric hasn’t been brought back and you only hoped that he never would. You sit down on the ground, leaning your head against Megs legs.

   "You got a spare hair tie, Meg?“ You asked. She nodded and handed you a green tie. You tied up the black shirt so it wouldn’t be long, nobody seemed to pay mind to your new shirt or the lack of Eric. You glance to Claudette and Bill, who gave you reassuring nods that your secret was safe with them.  

   You smiled as you listened to how Ace and David talked about escaping the Hillbilly with ease, obviously overexaggerating parts, while Dwight rubbed his slowly healing shoulder wound. Back at the campfire, though oddly enough you wouldn’t mind being sent to Haddonfield again.

[cielospeaks]

you have no idea how fking catharthic it is to draw the leggycrew in loid parody comics

like tbh theres way too much sadly in common between them both

-the people apart from the characters’ creator want them to fit an expectation based on visual and refuse to accept any depth or anything that goes against their visual expectation for them

-people who arent the creator of the characters or the writer of the story wanting to dictate what the characters are like, even (especially) when it goes directly against the canon and what the character’s creator has directly stated

-except the difference is one is self contained and has no influence from a very whiny side of the fandom that isnt even the audience, and the other is just a part of a larger thing and has to sit back and watch as said characters are absolutely torn apart and traumatized by other characters they have no control over

anyways i feel like theres way too many similarities unfortunately ahaha

like obvs virelai and schuu, but even anda and liszt have the similarity of people being kinda creepily interested in their physical appearance and not their actual personality (cept everything anda does ‘must be out of spite’ and ricchan can do no wrong bc shes got a nice set of abs)

and seiki and wa being grossly misinterpreted by the fandom based on what they want to see rather than what is, and dovo and ana being irrationally hated for something pretty much valid and warranted they did

leggy and moz are both reduced to the “uvu cinnamon roll can do no wrong” or at least the latter was (not so much anymore sighs this fandom istg)

idk coda and cho are a lil different bc people are pretty apathetic about coda besides being the “joke character” (imean to be fair i havent told the whole story about how it was programmed by a professional gamer whos sister was chronically ill and who made it an idol/vocaloid in order to help cheer her up but even without that directly ive hinted if these asshats ever paid attention to anyone but their character or what they wanted to see lmao) and id rather not he have the aggressive fanbase that cho has that refuses to see him as anything other than “uvu sad boy all alone i will be his only friend”

but all my salt aside i love this so much. i mean if it takes me drawing stupid 4komas to give my characters the happiness they deserve ill do it

reference for other comics

intro to season 2- “you thought we were the micchan and rapperbert based characters but it was actually the new loids!” seiki and ana pose but everyones just kinda like “.... you were made before those announcements even....” but these two are like the most extra and are completely unfazed

ep 5- virelai returns (as za greato?) with andrielle, the support squad. “im the reggae fairy and if youre mean to my best friend ill stab you!” “wasnt that the other-” “im the other reggae fairy and if you’re mean to my steed ill stab you too!” stabby is here too

ep 6- idk. canonically sev has a complicated relationship w his mom so i have no flippin idea whos gonna be himeka. maybe cesura. shes everyones mom basically

ep 7- everyones like “dude. dont force ships” and allegro says the same thing. “but youre supposed to be motes- give us a more motes-ey response.” “okay~ well as i was saying its not cool to force someone into a relationship-” “GOSH DANGIT CANON NONSHIPPING!”

ep 8- allegro getting excited about turning into a hippo. “ive definitely lied before! transformation sequence gooooo!” but nothing happens. also allegro babysitting provincelette bc shes the only one close enough in age to mari

ep 9- honestly i have no idea. probably coda being like “of course im merely an imitation and a rip off. i was modeled as one-” cue zhuan and virelai and practically everyone else bursting through the room and hugging codas screen like “ur not! dont say that! ur valid!”

ep 10- anda challenges some pretty boy to a fight. “shes just doing it out of spite!” anda takes a deep breath. “sorry risuto, ill have to put our fight on hold for a sec-” punches the fking joya bell out the window. risuto like “dont worry i totally support u”. moral of the story dont be a dick to liszt!anda. or any anda

ep 11- salcla. idk on this one either i still havent seen it subbed

ep 13- new years special! feng and sev in nice outfits! feng: too bad yall think japanese stuff isnt important or interesting bc now u dont get to see paddonson and andrea in sexy outfits(tm), also in the background anda and virelai punching the heck out of a joya bell. “this is for the worldly sin of being friends with someone only to tell them theyre wrong about what they think and like and exist!” “this is for the worldly sin of trying to get someone to date you by nearly killing yourself and their little brother!” everyone else like “.....why did this happen” idk dudes i feel that too

ep 14- andrea and ana on a shinkansen. “oh- i just finished my book and we’ve still got 4 more hours.” “were all out of avocados....” andressa and scherzo pop up from the seats behind them in little detective outfits. “a case!” and just give them the stuff. thanks?

ep 15- seiki getting unsure about doing sumo. but audrey and cowboy saotome for some reason are walking past “theres gonna be a sumo match here! isnt sumo awesome? weve gotta go!” “....yeah.... its pretty cool...” seiki: ill do it! so i can be pretty cool! notice me audrey senpai! and virelai just like “......this kid”

ep 17- i also have no idea

ep 18- plot? idk?

[saskicss-blog]

hihihi pals it’s still meee local sleepy bb elise but this is the new n improved cass ! who is now called saskia and has cailin russo as her fc instead of cami (rip cass/cami my loves). i realised i never did the proper intro post for cass ?? i cheated n linked to her bio oops so here is the loooong overdue intro post :)) also dont pay attention to my theme ummm im not happy yet ! also i will mssg those i have big connections w/ to adjust them or get smth new !!

saskia has lived in san diego for four years, but before that she lived in san francisco - all about the sans -  with her mum and dad but no siblings (sometimes she wondered what life would be like if there was someone else around, but she never necessarily regrets that loss - can’t miss what you don’t have. not many of her friends had siblings, she was all about that only child vibe).

her dad was always p controlling growing up, but saskia just considered him to be strict n not much else - he wanted her to be the best of the best, n she started thinking that she could be, that she was, even if her insecurities ran deep as a result of all the pressure he put on her ! my poor bb but obvs all of that was buried as far as it could go so he wouldn’t see

she was fifteen when her dad thought it was time she knew about the family business, as she had known for a long time not to ask any questions about it - he was always so secretive and her mother would back him on anything, always putting her husband before her daughter. To say she was shocked to find out that her father was a drug dealer was an understatement, she would never have guessed it, having thought it was a job for people with less money than they had and individuals that had no other choice - not someone that would choose it. The fact of the matter was that her father was selling to other rich men that wanted to properly unwind after stressful days running big businesses - and he liked bringing saskia along. Even when she was younger she looked older, mature, so he’d make sure she got all dolled up and come to the swanky parties with him.

Things carried on that way for two years before it all caught up with him. Saskia was surprised he didn’t attempt to bring her down with him, but the trial was swift and he was given the maximum sentence as the officials wanted to make a show of being tough on white collar crime. At least that’s what Saskia was always told, for her mother decided she shouldn’t have the whole story, making it the only instance in her years of motherhood in which she tried to protect the girl.

What the blonde wasn’t told is that in a drug deal gone bad, in an effort to preserve his reputation and avoid getting ratted out by an unhappy client, he shot someone and they died. After the trial saskia’s mum left town with the money that they had left - all that she could grab - and saskia was left with social services, rehousing her as she had just turned 18. And with that, Saskia moved to San Diego.

Without the financial support she was used to, she had to get herself a job and work for everything she wanted, which has been a massive culture shock. While there was some money saved for her in an account, she’s wasted most of it furnishing her apartment and buying things to make herself feel better after losing both of her parents and her life in san fran. Her upbringing has had a big impact on who she is, torn between a sense of superiority and deep set insecurities, struggling to showcase her emotions after years of being told it was better to bottle it up rather than bothering people and showing a weakness that could be exploited.

Saskia likes to give off the impression that she’s a hardass because that’s what her dad wanted, but she’s scared more often than she’ll admit. She often lies or hints about things she’s done that she hasn’t, and enjoys the reputation she’s been building for herself - she believes that rumours often do more work than having to do the wild thing itself, and in conversation tends to act coy and refuse to give details so that people make assumptions about her life. For example, she’s only slept with two people but likes people to think she has slept with many more so that she might suggest she doesn’t form emotional attachments, is able to do as she pleases without repercussions.

While it was a dream that her father always discouraged, whilst in san diego saskia has let herself get into writing - something she always wanted to do.Having her tendency to fabricate she believes she’ll write great fiction, and her goal is to be published one day, even if at the moment it’s writing scraps while at work.

She can only be truly comfortable with a couple of people, more concerned about her reputation with the majority, and she tends to tailor things to the person she’s with so that the right persona will come across. Not even knowing the full story herself, she’s only told one person (her bffaeaeae) that her father is in prison and her mother abandoned her, not wanting that vulnerability to be public knowledge - she skirts around the topic if people ask about her family.

Before she moved to san diego four years ago she lived in san fran with her super controlling father and her pushover mother - her father had v high hopes n refused to accept anything less than exactly what he wanted, and her mother would never intervene. She’s now got deep set insecurities bc of her dad and her mum not wanting to do anything about it. Aged fifteen she found out what her secretive father did - selling drugs to rich old men that needed to relax after running the big biz !!

other bits and bobs

avid but secret doctor who fan bc why not

basically drug dealer princess but daddy is in prison so she needs a job bc all the money is gone !!! he left some to her but it ran out. also she doesn’t know that he killed someone she just thinks he got caught with drugs. it was a few years ago n nobody told her bc she was underage

not good with emotions n stuff bc her dad was always on at her to be a hardass and not let anyone get to u bc that’s when you’re weak

trying to be a writer n so does a bunch of wacky things to get inspo for her book bc the best writing supposedly comes from experience - thereby willing to try anything once

only slept with one person maybe two but likes having a reputation that she’s slept with more, always coy about it n hinting

she can be kooky n a bit wacky w/ people she’s comfortable with

some connection ideas

romantic

the one she lost her virginity to jameson the one(s) she thinks is attractive the one she says she sleeps with the one she dated wren the one she rebounded with after her first love (virginity person) jason the one she loves to hate and hates to love the one she flirts with the one she almost dated

platonic

the only one she trusts completely the one that’s just a colleague the one that helps her get through her shifts the one she lives with emmery the one she can talk books and writing with nico the one she drinks with the one she hates the one she’s rivals with the one she’s fake friends with karina the one she’s been friends with since she moved the one she goes crazy with the one she bothers the one that understands

bits of cass/saskia that are the same

her desire to do crazy things

her struggle to deal w/ relationships n stuff - her inexperience

some people thinking she’s sweet n underestimating her capacity to do some damage

the chaos of her growing up - now a bit more intense ha as it was an ever changing foster family n now it’s a drug dealing father and a mother that might as well have been called acquiesce

not entirely genuine, although it’s more of an intentional thing with saskia than it was with cass

so that’s saskia, this post is such a mess pls but hmu for things !!! basically for a v short summary she’s a little sarcastic thing that wants to be a hardass but isnt really even tho she likes to stir shit every now and then and will fabricate things to keep up a reputation bc her drug dealer dad was super strict n she’s gotten practice lying about things from him and after he was in prison bc she doesn’t like telling people

[kan-bu]

i had an awful nightmare where we in the local lgbt community  had built  like this rly cool house for doing stuff in like education, shelter, activities, crafts, art, music like all kinds of shit it was so cool and then it was finally finished and i met so many great friends there, the people who were there the most we had these lockers w stuff we’d bought like band shirts, stuff we’ve created here and then one day after we’ve been open for two years the owners gets a notice saying theyll tear it it down or smth and they do. our whole world just broke apart and after that final day i ate some food from the fridge with some of the oldest in our community who still dared to come back (cuz it was the feeling of being persecuted and hunted by phobics and people who wanted us dead) and there were people outside taunting us and shit nad i thought “i need to stay at this place for as long as is possible to honor it and not let it go down w a fight” but they started tearing the place down and when it was done... everyone was in mourning it felt like we’d lost all hope in the world, i broke down crying hysterically in front of its ruins and some politician comes by with flowers and i get pissed off at her saying like if they cared they wouldnt have let this happen so she can piss off with her fucking flowers acting like she cares. then when i go back into the building (some of the interior hadnt been torn down yet; including the lockers) and im at the elevator and this old guy whos working on tearing this place down is taking the elevator up so i step back cuz im scared i dont want to be near him and he rests his fucking fingers at the front of the elevator (it was some ancient shit) and they get fucking mangled when the elevator goes up cuz they got stuck and i tried stopping the elevator and it didnt work and i was fkn panicking calling an ambulance and just when i was about to suddenly in the air of defeat and, helplessness, complete fear and, fucking panic these fucking bourgies starts shooting up fancy firework into the sky celebrating that they defeated us and groups of people was like harrassing us so obv me being phonophobic i go inside cuz im panicking  even more now cuz all of the fireworks and i see someone throw a firecracker on the ground at the back of my friend and our friend who was outside w her and i are trying to scream at her to run away from it cuz shes gon get hurt badly but we didnt do it in time and it explodes and all of a sudden shes down on the ground and there is a big big big crack on the window between us and i hear people getting near, so we put her on the ambulance that came for the mangled fingers guy with him (who btw w was spouting nonsense like how he didnt need an ambulance cuz he didnt feel any pain but like... his hands were completely broken... and i kept telling him that hes just in shock and his andrenaline is pumping wild like i was like??? why hasnt he passed off ciz of the pain) and then we run back inside like we were being actually attacked and only we had access to this place and everyone went to the room w the lockers cuz we wanted to get our stuff and then gtfout of here and we could lock this huge thick door so no one could come in uninvited and everyone knew everyone here like No. Now it felt like the tension had snapped and some of us were having severe panic attack and we tried calming down so we could pack and get out safely before anymore people come here but i started having a panic attack in my dream and i forced myself awake ive only slept maybe 3-4 hours i hate this i hate this entire thing

[winterywitch]

For the ask thing: Dogma, Josipher, and Jerolin

o shit!!!

dogma

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: he’s so understanding and open-minded for what he is like he kinda made the concept of religious leaders in fiction safe again, like they dont have to ALL be evil fuckers in my work. like he made that concept Exist again for me and im so grateful for that, as a Sinful Sex-Having Gay x333 [fucking gag me] he’s very much a healing character for meworst quality: none of them but like why does he never smile :ship them with: kantera and tabasa, either separately or polyamorously all w/ each otherbrotp them with: russell!! dogma was the character i spent the festival with on my first playthrough of end roll so he’s a nice adult male rolemodel for russell and he cares for russell a lot even if in a purely platonic vaguely kuudere wayneeds to stay away from: dust, smoke and pollen, bitch [highfives him as i am a fellow asthma-haver] and like also. burning things. things that are burning. the burning bush is just never quite the same for him is itmisc. thoughts: his design is so nice i just really really love it

josipher

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type (im pretty sure anyway?) | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: his sheer, tender-heartedness and adoration for humans that drives the core of his being, he was susceptible to his sister’s lies and manipulation because he’s a kind person who assumes the best in peopleworst quality: the man really needs to learn how to communicate clearly, and also his snootily belligerent personality following the betrayal of his sister and whatnot makes it really easy to think he’s just an asshole. he also pushes people away who genuinely want to help him because he assumes all people are just assholes nowship them with: vulcan, also not a ship but sniper made out with him once in a joke dialogue tree. Romantically.brotp them with: i, do want him and escule to get along someday its just gonna take workneeds to stay away from: people with nasty ulterior motives, people who would manipulate him to any negative endmisc. thoughts: i just remembered at one point his voiceclaim was alan rickman??? idk if it still is but like, that’s fun i guess. he’s the god of structure and he represents summer and autumn and we love him

jerolin

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | blease he’s a minor and a incest+csa survivor suffering from his repressed memories of trauma at that leave him olone | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff | two options chosen bc im kinda torn between the two? he could be either with equal probabilitybest quality: he’s a guy who’s following his own fairly unique path in life, he’s a very brave kid who’s willing to Do That when no one else is - his moral compass is strong and true, he’s very much a hero.worst quality: none you abswolute fool /no im kidding UHH he... has a dangerous tendency to get wrapped up in things much, much bigger than he is, and like a fish in the deep ocean, he doesn’t notice those teeth surrounding him until it’s too late bc he was so dazzled by that angler fish’s glowing antenna thingyship them with: papagena, rigveda, N [from pokemon], jocelyn once he’s a year or two older ( @dreamy‘s old oc ), uhh... who knows WHOSE OC WANTS TO DATE THIS KIDbrotp them with: a friendship between him and zack ( @nocturnenebula‘s oc ) sounds kinda fun actually, it’d be really cute bc zack seems a lot more like, Loud in his responses to things than jerolin is, it’s like an comparatively-immature college-aged guy being friends with a kid that’s more mature than he isneeds to stay away from: old men, particularly those with an eye to take advantage of those “interests” of his - but we know he won’t actually heed this advicemisc. thoughts: i REALLY am liking his involvement in noct’s mnemoria webcomic/setting it feels very, homey and it feels like a setting he very much belongs in, and ive been meaning to have some kind of regular non-pokemon universe for him so its nice to have one to think about! obv hes not a canon character in the comic LOL but just like, in oc talks between noct and i

[g0rda]

Had this epiphany today. May seem pretty obvious but I articulated it today. I either follow my heart or my logical brain, right…as everyone does. Sometimes my brain and my heart match up and all is good. And sometimes the matter isnt crazy lifechanging or whatever and consequences arent colossal But sometimes my heart and logic dont match up and because my heart is do very fuckin fragile I almost always follow logic. To protect myself right, i say “this is logical so even if i’m unhappy for a bit, it’s safe and ultimately I’ll be okay” Everytime I’ve done that, been logical instead of following my “heart” i’ve felt regret I cant seem to shake even if i’m “okay” long after yhe decision is made. There are only two things I can think of 1. My decision to push theater to the side. I was “okay” for a long time but was ultimately unhappy and changed my mind back. Here I am pursuing it having wasted a year avoiding it. 2. With B, i was so in love and so afraid I ended it because it felt so illogical and doomed for failure. I was too afraid to say I’ll make it work ya know. Here I am, six months later and I still miss him so much. I think about him every day. Now, i’m going to london. I’m doing what I said i’d do only without him. Without my boy. Had I just believed in myself, listened to my heart. Things could have been different and I’d still have the only person who I felt could really be my partner. 3. Here I am saying “idk if i want to get an mfa or be an actor” and looking for the safer route, a safer career within theater when somewhere inside I know i have potential, talent and the means u know. People are really encouraging me to do it, to stay in contact with them. People in the industry. Im blessed af but afraid of failure. In 5, 10 years am I gonna be hella mad at myself when I’m workin admin or production watching actors do what I wanted to do??? Just cuz i decided to be logical. This obvs comes from a place of privilege. I’m so blessed and continuously torn between taking advantage, my mother did not work this hard and suffer how she did for me to not live a full and happy life, to be successful etc. and between calming the fuck down and checking my privilege, realizing I aint shit and not have my head in the damn clouds.

Anyway, one thing I know for sure is if I dont listen to my gut, to my heart, i never end up satisfied or happy.