#so imagine what will happen when he will be aggressively confronted with all the shit he doesn’t want to face or acknowledge

[murdererofthumbs]

Listen, although I do find it pretty exciting to see Kendall entering his Evil Era and actually becoming a killer, I can’t stop thinking about the consequences of him leaking all the shitty mud information they have on Logan. Like yeah, PR-wise that might be a great idea, it might actually solidify his position as a CEO (and he is obviously going to try and fuck up Matsson deal and take over the Waystar - I don’t know why he would want to captain the fucking sinking Titanic, but okay). But on the other hand, all the dirt coming out about Logan will be potentially catastrophic for Roman. Apart from the fact that Kendall is very clearly betraying his brother, literally like 5 seconds after he preached about them being a team; Roman will very likely suffer the most if stuff about Logan being an abusive father comes out.

First, it will flip his whole viewpoint upside down - he is so deep in denial and so trauma-bonded to Logan that he doesn’t even acknowledge his abuse, not even when in happens in real time. He doesn’t want to see his father as a monster and as his abuser, because that would actually require him to accept that he was a victim, that he was this beaten dog that everyone already sees him as (to one degree or another). Not to mention all the lies he tells himself about Logan and him being a good dad will go straight down the drain, and can you imagine what happens when something you believed for 40-or-so years cracks down in front of you? Kendall is about to break his reality.

Another aspect is that exposing Roman’s abuse to the whole world will likely destroy any and all opportunities that Roman ever had when it comes to rising to power (even if I’m unsure how much he actually cares about becoming a CEO). He might get some sympathy points, although I very much doubt that he will ever accept that form of pity from anyone. His image will be forever tainted and solidified as “the abused one” or the “one that was hit by his dad”. Can you imagine Roman’s reaction when that whole shitshow leaks? He does say at some point in the preview that he is finished, and although it might allude to Gerri putting out the whole dick pic situation, it might also very well be that his public image will forever now revolve around how his dad hit and abused him (his dad who was essentially his god in more than one way, who he was, and is trauma bonded to, who he came back to time and time again).

Kendall has a tendency of using his siblings trauma to forward his own position (even when he wanted to one up Logan in episode 2 by bringing up Roman’s and Connor’s trauma) and this is no different. But it’s a very easy way for him to blow up whatever alliance was ever between sibs. So yeah, I think Kendall as a killer is a great thing to watch, but also… well, Roman girl in me is already screaming in the void from the possible pain we might come to watch unravel in real time.

[cy-lindric]

bonjour cy-lindric, j'ai une petite question. when I was a young person, I read The Three Musketeers and then eagerly started to read Twenty Years After and was so upset at what had happened to my beloved young heroes that I put the book down and never picked it up. what do you think, should I try again?

Bonjour !

After reading The Three Musketeers, I also wasn't sure I wanted to read Twenty Years After, and I took a break inbetween both to read something entirely different (The Locked Tomb, iirc). I think my reason for that was kind of the opposite of yours ; I enjoyed T3M a lot and loved the characters, flaws and all, but by the end they had somewhat crossed over the line into being Too Awful and the lack of retribution left me a bit frustrated. I didn't see it as a failing of the story - on the contrary, their strong character flaws and downfall in the conflict with Milady is one of the most emotionally intense and compelling parts imo - but I wasn't sure I felt like hanging out with these guys for a few hundred more pages at that point.

If your vision of the characters as a young reader was a very positive and perhaps idealized one, I can imagine why you might not have enjoyed entering into Twenty Years after. The illusion of glory has worn off ; the characters have separated, they live unremarkable lives, and their personalities have evolved drastically with the passing of time. It's almost a brutal return to reality.

For me though, it added layers of characterization to the point where now it's clear to me that this version of the Inseparables is by far the one I prefer.

I hope it's ok if I take the opportunity to talk at length about what I like about TYA below the cut. TL;DR : I love that Twenty Years After is a more realistic look at the big four's personalities and how they evolved while still keeping them thematically coherent, and that TYA makes them confront the reckless and cruel shit they did in their youth.

Spoilers ahead obviously.

We've often talked about how T3M is at its core a story about the end of knighthood. It's a tongue-in-cheek approach at chivalrous initiation, set at edge of the modern world, inbetween the time of ballads about knights in armor and that of adventures about journeying gunmen and soldiers. I think TYA embodies that particularly ; the story of people who have carried the last of these intense, dangerous chivalric ideals in their youths, and who have now grown into middle aged adults who need to find their place in the world.

For a good chunk of the book, the big four are separated into two teams ; that in of itself might discourage some, but imo it's genius. Instead of the natural two-by-pairings, Dumas goes for a d'Artagnan+ Porthos and Athos + Aramis split on opposite sides, which makes for good drama and develops lesser explored dynamics. D'Artagnan and Porthos form a scrappy team of opportunists with money on their minds, and Athos and Aramis a more idealistic duo fighting for a noble lost cause. I think it's a bold choice but also premium sequel writing.

I also love the way the young and wild characters we knew evolve into middle aged men ; at their core, they're still the same, but they've all changed and struggled against the sunset of the golden age in their own ways.

D'Artagnan, after knowing such adventures and subsequent rapid social ascension in his teenage years, has been met in his adult life with the harsh reality that he is, in fact, not a noble knight but a soldier on payroll. His modest origins give him little hope for any further career advancement, and he takes on a new mission in his early 40s for a man he has no devotion for and a cause he doesn't care about, simply because he is bored and broke. D'Artagnan still has his quick wits, his strategic talent, his fencing skills, but he has grown out of the excesses of pride of his teenage years. I loved meeting him again in TYA, and it made so much sense to me that his bouts of anger and aggressivity would be a youthful trait that he'd ended up taming. He also realizes now a lot of what seemed like funny adventures and necessary violence was actually kind of fucked up ; that was a shock to me, as their shenanigans are treated so lightly in T3M, and tbh it healed me a little. Grown up d'Artagnan is cunning, calculating, down to earth and realistic. My foxy little man. I love him.

Porthos, likewise, has been struck by the weight of reality. He has made the sensible choice and got married to the rich widow who sugar mommied him in the first book. Now she's passed, he is rich, but he still fails to earn the respect of the high society he evolves in because he's not high born enough. Like d'Artagnan, he's stagnating and bored and now that he goes back adventuring it has nothing to do with the queen or the kingdom or honour ; it's about getting his damn nobility title.

Athos, on the other hand, is the eternal knight : the only truly high born of the four, and still hopelessly holding on to a time gone by. It's no surprise imo that his storyline brings him into the english civil war, doomed to fail at saving a king who'll end up executed right in front of him. TYA acknowledges more clearly than ever that at 28 yo, Athos was a depressed alcoholic, and an embodiment of what an excess of aristocratic righteousness can do. In TYA, he is sober and moisturized and a DILF, and now he's running around frantically looking for absolution for his numerous crimes. It's delicious.

Aramis is maybe the hardest pill to swallow. TYA confirms the T3M hints that he isn't really the prim and proper romantic boy he acts like he is, and that he's possibly the most hypocritical and ruthless of the four. It might be a harsh one for Aramis fans who like him better as a cute bean, but I love the early onset of remorseless conniving bloodthirsty ambitious Aramis. Another harsh bit might be the evolution of Aramis and d'Artagnan not really liking each other ; they were always the least close combination, and imo it makes sense that their personalities would clash. I think it's clever and compelling conflict.

Now, obviously, if you've cared enough to read all this and if you know me a little, you know that a huge highlight of the book for me was its late-appearing antagonist, Mordaunt. Mordaunt is the son Milady had with her english husband. Because of the Musketeers' intervention, he's grown up in poverty and has been denied his father's inheritance. He's now a Roundhead working for Cromwell, and set on avenging his mother at all costs. Mordaunt, unlike his mother who was this beautiful and dangerous force of nature, is very uncool and pathetic. She was the primordial snake, he's the gutter rat. Obviously, I love that in and of itself, but it's also kind of striking image of the wretchedness of what they've done to her, a fucked up little goblin ghost come back to haunt them as they're trying to make their life worth living again. This time, their enemy is not a cunning political rival with a flamboyance of body and mind akin to their own ; it's a shitty little guy with bad skin who wants to kill the king and punish the murderers. Watch out babes, it's the modern world coming for you.

Of course, they're the Four Musketeers, and they did what they had to do, so they get together again and swear friendship and keep going their way. But they're also old guys with difficult personalities in a world that's never going to be the same. I think it's a cool book.

[dunmeshistash]

ive heard of a page where laios+falin are racist against the kobolds but i straight up do not remember it, so i was curious as to if you have it?

Actually Kabru is racist against Kobolds, Falin and Laios are 'racist' (I'd call it xenophobic but the way people use racist works as well I suppose) about 'mountain people'

It's the Kobold extra from the adventure's bible, quite the controversial comic lol

Unfortunately yes, your blorbos are 'racist' but it makes sense in universe. Kabru lived in a place that was near Kobold settlements I imagine the tallmen there weren't big fans of them. What he talks about Kobold being "impossible to talk to" sounds like a justification to marginalize them. The same thing happened to Laios and Falin in their village when they were kids (remember that Laios left when he was 12 and Falin when she was 10) "You can't talk to them so you have to kill them" is the same type of othering justification Kabru learned about Kobolds. Only the Toudens learned to act that way about other humans and not demi-humans, Kabru loves humans so he immediately picks up the absurd that was being said and is like "oh shit".

I wouldn't say he learned what he said was wrong (He probably thinks aggression is inherent to demi-humans but not to humans) but if anything I think all of them have the chance to be better than they are here. (Kabru is even friends with and is trying to help Kuro. But that might be a "He's one of the good ones" thinking) The racism they are acting here is part of the world they live, something they learned since they were born and it's probably not something any of them has ever confronted themselves about.

Anyway that is all to say I don't think what Falin and Laios specifically say here count as racism because they are being xenophobic about people with a different culture to theirs, like, those people in specific are suffering the prejudice because they don't live the same way his village does. Laios doesn't act racist in any other case, he treats orcs Kobolds, Elves, Dwarves etc about the same (if anything he does some microaggressions cause he's socially and culturally clueless) so I don't think he believes in inherent value based on race like Kabru does. But that's just semantics (?) Both are just as bad.

[allur1ngs]

we ALL know how protective bada can be right? we’ve seen it we’ve read it…

BUT we’ve never seen how the other bebe girls act when someone tries approaching y/n or is making her feel uncomfortable. i feel like out of all of them lusher would be the most violent and hyo would definitely be the most protective seeing as she’s literally y/ns bodyguard (also bada would 100% kill her if anything happens to her)

you're absolutely correct!!

tw: violence, torture, and a creepy man!!

she not only is the most violent--she's also the one to get physical quicker!! and she feels the angriest out of all the girls, because how dare some lowlife make you feel uncomfortable--(it doesn't matter if the person making you feel uncomfortable is rich or somewhat powerful as well--they're lowlife scum in her mind). you're her sweet unnie, and the soon-to-be wife of her best friend, she'd kill anyone before they get the chance to lay their hands on you.

tatter is next up on "most aggressive" out of all the girls. she's quite literally right behind lusher, except she usually hopes that the person bothering you will realize who you are and back the fuck up, but if they don't do so immediately, she's more than happy to fuck them up without a second thought.

after that the girls are all equally as protective/violent, except soweon is in dead last.

she takes after tatter in the regard that she wants the person to stop bothering you without having to use force. but of course, if they don't, she's following in the other girl's footsteps, and using physical violence to protect you.

hyo, as you mentioned, is absolutely the most protective out of them all, even lusher. her job is of course to keep you safe, but beyond that, she genuinely cares about you. she thinks of you almost like a little lamb she has to protect--of course, she knows you're strong as well--but that's her main goal during confrontations. protect you first, then beat the absolute shit out of whoever is bothering you.

(also let's not forget that if bada finds a SINGLE scratch on you, tiny or not, she'll literally have hyo's head. and there's nothing hyo hates more than disappointing bada, and you getting hurt)

so let's put together a little scenario to show what the girls would be like in practice.

imagine that you were out on a date night with bada (the girls decided to tag along for some fun and to protect you both), but she has to head home early because of some urgent business, and you're not exactly ready to leave yet.

bada says you can stay out, but only if all of the girls stay with you and keep an eye out for you, while she heads back home.

you agree, and with a sweet kiss and a, "i love you, please stay safe,"--and a expectant look at the girls, your fiancée is off on her way home.

you stay out for a while, and just when you start to feel ready to head home, a man starts to bother you.

he begins by just staring at you while you talk to the girls, his gaze curious, until he starts to really look you up and down, and gets the stupidest, and most disgusting idea ever.

he shouts things at you like, "hey what are you doing out so late? it can be dangerous out here," and, "why don't you ditch your little friends and come have a good time with me?"

lusher freezes in her spot, her teeth slowly beginning to grind against each other painfully. scolding hot anger is already building up in her gut as she turns around to look at the man harassing you.

"do you think that's funny?" she starts walking over to him slowly, like a predator that has their pray cornered. "how dare you speak to her like that?" (she does that thing you see in k dramas a lot where they take in a sharp breath of air and make a disgusted face iykwim)

the guy is most likely drunk, because he somehow still doesn't recognize you, or the fact that lusher has a gun that's just barely visible in its holster on her hip. so he keeps spitting out disgusting things, adding in a "bitch" here and there to you and lusher--

hyo steps up, standing in front of you and placing her hands over your ears so you don't hear what the man is saying, or see him, then gives the signal for lusher to do her worst.

she does so without another second of hesitation, punching the drunk man staight in the stomach, then in his face. when he lands on the floor she starts kicking him in the stomach over and over again--surprised that he still has the energy to spew vulgar things about you while getting the absolute shit beaten out of him.

tatter joins lusher, and breaking the man's nose with a particularly strong kick. they both taunt him, telling him that he'll suffer a fate worse than death for the things he said--the rest of the girls come in as well, with soweon being the last.

when they're done with him he looks like a lifeless shell of his former self, bruises and blood splattered all over him--he's basically unrecognizable.

so you think that they'd probably kill him now, right?

wrong.

lusher picks up the man and places him in the truck of the car, smiling at his terrified face while the other girls focus on comforting you and reassuring you that you'll be alright.

(also all of their trunks are sound proof...i'm sure you know why)

when they get home they take you in first, lusher staying behind to take the man out when you've settled into bed and the girls continue to take care of you.

she takes him straight to bada's office and throws him on the floor before explaining to her everything that happened.

so, that fate worse then death that i mentioned before?

yeah, that's bada.

that man will be just barely clinging onto life while your fiancée makes him pay for the things he'd said about you.

[yarugawitch]

Nnoitra/reader: Non-specific SFW and NSFW headcanons

Copied from my main acc. Was originally a request. As I said in the original post I think I was a bit dry because imo the dynamic with him heavily depends on the circumstances so you can always leave a request for something more specific or for AU headcanons :3c

>Masterpost

SFW:

He'd deny having any feelings even to himself but he'd be so terribly obnoxious with it that it's literally impossible not to notice. He's too clingy, too possessive, too annoying, too prone to jealousy and likes to get in your face both literally and figuratively. There's no such thing as personal space for this man I fear. Grabbing you by the wrists? Yes. Tugging at your ears? Yeah. Leaning closer to grab you by the face or annoyingly lick it if you're not paying attention? Sure

He's in a constant battle with himself and gives mixed messages all the time. At some point Nnoitra can hint at something or make a borderline romantic/sexual comment but once you confront him or make your own move he'd just hit you with his usual "What the hell are you saying?!" bs. The gaslighting is so real. Nnoitra is like an aggressive cat that yearns for affection with this one. He keeps you at arm's length and even though it's obvious he wants something - trying to get close when he's not ready will result in a nasty scratch

Calling someone he doesn't hate by their name is very intimate to him. So usually it's just "hey you", "idiot", "woman", "human", "shinigami", "quincy", etc.

Nnoitra suffers from cute aggression. There's nothing he'd actually consider cute in this situation of course but if something you did made him feel a little too much or he just happened to be next to you for too long his first immediate response is to want to squash you, break one of your limbs or bite a chunk out of you. Both because he can't deal with his own emotions and because "how fucking dare you"

Both him and Jaegerjaquez are very sensitive to smell and to Nnoitra your scent is very calming. I don't think he's desperate enough to constantly follow you and sniff you lmao but he's definitely stealing something that belongs to you for later. If you're fortunate/unfortunate enough to have the fifth Espada as your roommate and you're away for too long he will rummage through your closet to make a nest out of your clothing or occupy your pillow

The way he sleeps in front of you and whether he does or not in general is very telling. Imo he's a very light and restless sleeper. Constantly on his toes even in his slumber. Eons in Hueco Mundo can do things to you. So if he doesn't take fetal position to hide his stomach with you, won't literally jump up at the slightest of sounds and naps in your presence sometimes - congrats

I think he'd confess only if the situation is so dire he'd rather die than not do this. Like for example if you're having a huge fight and you're so close to leaving he's almost shaking and ripping his hair out out of stress which doesn't happen a lot. Or if there's someone showing interest in you and they're very much successful at making you happy. Then it's a question of defending what he thinks is his even though he won't admit it. Would he actually try to kill the other person? I mean it depends really but if it's Grimmjow or Szayel then fucking sure. Any day. Anyone else is not that big of a competition. Even Ulquiorra. "I mean have you seen him? What a fucking nuisance. He makes me sick. As if he has a chance with anyone at all"

Speaking of which - would brag in front of you all the time

Once you're together he'll never leave and will always make sure others know you're taken. Well not at first of course but still

NSFW (heavily afab leaning)

Tbh I too can't imagine him as an aggressive alpha-dom-top (tm) if he actually has any feelings for the person. So a service top or a damn bottom it is

The worst size kink ever. He may constantly talk shit about people who are weaker, smaller or frailer than him but once feelings are involved he's aroused by the thought all of a sudden. I think his fingers are not the only thing that is unusually long so not fitting all the way in is not a problem for him - it's even better in fact

As fascinating as the thought of penetration may be to him I think foreplay is his favorite part. Mostly because making you squirm is fun but also because only here he can actually assert domination. After that he's just too soft

I don't care what anyone says this man is a MUNCH

So so painfully slow sometimes. If he's on top he would just stop to tease and watch your reaction. Other than that making the process as long as possible is one of his goals. It's not like he has no stamina - he has a lot of it actually but during sex he can be as intimate and as close to you as he wants to be because under normal circumstances he can't afford to put it into words without having to grab himself by the throat

Talks a lot. It's not exactly dirty talk (I don't like it I'm very sorry babes) but he loves saying nasty things and would comment on everything that is going on. Otherwise he's nervous

I'm convinced all of the arrancars must be infertile since they don't reproduce this way so. He likes finishing inside. He won't have it any other way. It's special to him because how are you even letting him do something like this? but he also shows affection this way

The more vocal his partner is the better. Everyone must know

I mentioned that he loves your scent before so yeahhh. I hope you don't mind stains on your clothes

[nkn0va]

wagner and kaguya with an s/o who has a habit of being a sarcastic smart-ass?

I'm writing this to be gender neutral for S/O but I'm imagining their voice in my head specifically as Rusty. Go watch his stuff, he's funny as hell.

-Wagner didn't really know much of what to expect from you, especially if you're a guy. She hasn't had too much experience with social interaction outside of the people closest to her in the Licht Kreis. She decided to probe at you a bit and see how you'd respond to some haughty, snide remarks.

-She's caught off guard to say the least when you bite back with some scathing sarcasm of your own. She's immediately intrigued by you, no one thus far has dared to talk back to her like that.

-Contrary to what most people would believe, she actually finds your smartass remarks rather refreshing. You're not afraid to be honest with her and have witty back and forth banter. People immediately start likening the two of you to and old married couple, though obviously they're not saying that out loud.

-This intrigue and appreciation soon turns into something more, something Wagner would have never ever thought would happen to her.

-A relationship proper probably doesn't change much. You two were already playfully bickering like you'd known each other for years, just saying the most outlandish, out of pocket things to each other like it was nothing.

-Wagner definitely appreciates the fact that you're so self reliant and assured. It's nice to have an S/O she's confident is able to defend themselves, at least in a non-physical confrontation. If you can defend yourself physically she's even more in love, In-Birth or not.

-If you're the type that has a shorter fuse she's more than happy to sit back and watch the entertainment as you tear into the person with the most asinine, odd insults you can think of that somehow work and leave your target with much lower self confidence than they had prior.

-Wagner's not really the type to interfere unless shit really hits the fan and starts getting too physical for her liking. Other than that she takes great enjoyment out of her S/O knocking some cocky bastard down a peg, especially if they're trying to get close to either of them for whatever reason and doesn't know how to take a hint.

-Kaguya's certainly one to tease and poke fun at people in her own right, but it wasn't quite like what you did.

-You were very upfront about what you thought at any given time, and you made sure people knew when you were displeased or when you didn't think all that highly of them.

-It was pretty jarring for her to start, but she found it quite amusing in it's own way. Upon first approaching you she earns herself a smartass remark for her teasing as you saw right through it. This only intrigued her even more.

-She does eventually drop the act when she sees that it isn't gonna work on you and becomes more genuine. She's actually quite pleasant to be around when she wants to be.

-Kaguya seems to think the same of you. When you put down the smartass act you're quite easy for her to get along with. A relationship seems to bloom pretty naturally from there. And also from the fact she's hot as hell.

-If someone were to ever react a bit too aggressively to her teasing you're very quick to shut them up, to which afterward she makes a joke or two about you being her knight in shining armor.

-She can't hold back a laugh at your witty remarks on a situation to try and downplay the significance of it. The way you make something sound so non-trivial will always lighten her mood. She likes a partner who can do that.

-Also she finds it hot when you chase off some dude trying to hit on her and verbally murder him.

[egcdeath]

yayy i'm so glad you liked the idea of patrick in big little lies neptune. i have so many more thoughts, but just gonna put a spoiler warning here for anyone who hasn't seen the show/read the book but is interested in doing so :)

I hundred percent do believe it would take a toll on both you and patrick, mostly because I think you may just want a peaceful life (like you moved there for the beach and to have a good school for your daughter, not for drama) and well patrick is a hot head! like really all it takes is one passive aggressive statement from someone in the neighborhood to piss him off and you don't want that. i imagine reader is very very frustrated with herself for not being able to write anything she likes at the moment (relatable bahaha) and just wants some peace to really push herself through her writer's block. she knows this won't happen if patrick is picking fights with anyone who says anything that upsets him. Of course she does thinks a lot of what they say and do is annoying and unnecessary, but she is rather indirect in her insults to them, not wanting any out right confrontation on the spot.

I think this would cause some tension between reader and patrick because he wouldn't understand why she's behaving this way or why's she mad when he reacts the way he does.

"why tf do you care what they think"

"i don't, i just don't want any problems patrick"

"i'm not the one starting them, if they're the ones acting like that!"

"you know what i mean"

variations of this on and on, and regardless it always gets resolved because it's always something small, i think that would completely change once your daughter starts getting hurt.

again patrick is the hothead so I think he is the one who is instantly upset (like that's his little girl, does anyone really think he is just going to sit down and let it happen). i can so imagine him taking a position like renata and being so quick to blame ziggy and jane and being so verbally angry and upset about everything. in comaprison, i think reader is equally upset and angry but just not vocal about it. she wants to figure out who is doing this before instantly pinning the blame on any one person and just wants her daughter to be safe

now these arguments about how they react to the people around town are completely different and much more pressing, because your daughter is getting hurt and you guys still don't know who is doing it. there is no coming to some quick resolution with this

-🫀

i loveee the idea of you and patrick only really seeing each other in pretty low stress periods of your life (like both of you having stability in your careers with you writing/publishing your first book and it doing well & with patrick having the stability of being in a steady relationship, having a strong career, and support from his family), so when you get to monterey and shit starts hitting the fan, you’re both kinda surprised by the ways you start acting. like you always knew patrick was a hot head, but you didn’t realize JUST how bad it could be, and i think patrick would be surprised by how much you start receding back into yourself in periods of high stress (which he doesn’t love, since he’s someone who values being really honest and upfront about feelings). all of that to say these two are not equipped at all for monterey, let alone for their beloved daughter to start being bullied!

like you said, i think that you two have such different ways you go about dealing with your annoying neighbors and the other parents at the school. like patrick refuses to let shit slide and WILL go confront whoever he needs to (i just keep thinking about that scene where nathan tries to apologize to ed and he just rejects it lmao), but you get annoyed with them but kinda let it go. at first you would rant to patrick about something shady one of the moms said to you, thinking you’re just venting in confidence, but he ends up confronting one of the husbands about that very thing. that would absolutely be another point of tension because obviously you love patrick but you don’t know if you can vent to him without him running off and cussing someone out and in a place like monterey you simply need to be a united front!

i also feel like you and patrick would be on the younger side of the parents there which kinda makes it hard for everyone else to take you guys seriously. i just think it would be a struggle in general for you guys. you kinda want to move but the location is good for school and you guys have such a beautiful house in such an amazing location that you don’t know if you want to give it up so easily.

again, i think that would be another issue for the two of you. patrick is such an impulsive character that as soon as things go sideways he’s like… we need to leave. and you’re like ?? we just uprooted our entire lives to come here.

anyway. once your daughter starts getting bullied tensions would REALLY boil over. you can really empathize with jane even though you don’t know her very well & you don’t want to jump to any conclusions and that completely boggles patrick’s mind. i totally agree with you drawing that comparison with renata because i don’t think there’s any world where patrick would just let it slide and he immediately would start blaming jane and ziggy for what’s happening.

obviously you share a common goal of not wanting your daughter to be attacked at school but you just go about things sooo differently that the tensions are really high.

also… i just realized that they probably both are at home most of the time since patrick is retired and you’re a writer. can you imagine the constant simmer of tensions between them that occasionally boils over??? and i’m sure that initially they were like yayyy we’ll both be home and living in this beautiful place with these amazing opportunities for our daughter and it is so not that 😭

also also, girldad patrick my beloved!!

[ellewritesandrants]

I don’t know if someone has done this before but what about Steve getting dared to call Billy by all of the pet names he usually gives to his girlfriends?

I’d imagine it would either be Tommy who wants to get Steve in trouble with Billy again during a drunk truth or dare session with the keg gang including Billy or Robin who wants to mess with Steve by daring him do it to to his crush, Billy but either way, Steve has to spend an entire day referring to Billy only using nicknames like baby, doll, babe and sweetheart.

Imagine Steve still being in high school with Billy and that meant he’d have to whisper it directly into Billy’s ear so they don’t give it away. Imagine Billy stomping his way to his locker like he always does, surprised to see Steve whom he’s become friends with waiting for him there.

Steve doesn’t want to give the game away so they talk trivial shit until Billy’s gotten his books out and is just about ready to go. Steve is an asshole so he waits until Billy’s ready to head to class before leaning in close and telling him “Have a good day with your classes, baby.”

The look of pure surprise partnered with the high flush that bloomed over his cheeks made Billy look frankly adorable in Steve’s eyes and coupled with the lack of retaliation for it, it made Steve feel a lot more comfortable with spending the rest of the day messing with Billy.

So Steve does, accidentally on purpose bumping into him in the hallways only to apologize with an “I’m sorry, sweetheart, are you okay?” Steve treats Billy to lunch like he normally does with a “You need to eat to keep your strength up, babe.”

He even goes as far as to spend majority of their basketball practice riling Billy up, to the point of him having a permanent flush that travelled down his exposed chest. Steve was aggressive in defending against Billy, pressing up against him at every opportunity and congratulating him for every shot with a "Good one, doll" or "I'll get you next time, sweet cheeks. Just wait."

Billy is made aware of the dare at lunch so he tries his best to ignore it even if the pet names made him flush worse than when he attempted a 12 minute mile.

Billy doesn't even give Steve the chance to keep going after practice, choosing to rush through the showers as if the hounds of hell are on his heels and peeling out of the school parking lot as soon as Max got in the car.

Max had commented on his need for speed and his flushed cheeks but he didn't bother with fighting her over it, not when he'd spent the entire day being called pet names by his crush.

The next day, Billy was ecstatic to go back to the way things were, only to be surprised when Steve hurriedly parked right beside him and caught up to him before they got inside.

Steve passed Billy an apple while saying "Here, doll. I know you sometimes skip breakfast and you need something in your stomach to keep you going through your classes. See you later!" Billy was shell-shocked into holding the apple while Steve breezed into the hallway.

The rest of the week passed in a similar manner, with Steve flirting with Billy using pet names at every opportunity while continuously increasing his flirting game and Billy trying valiantly to hide his very visible reaction to all of the pet names and flirting.

It all comes to a head after their Friday afternoon basketball practice. For once, Billy bothered to stay until it was just him and Steve left in the locker rooms so he could finally confront Steve about the flirting. Billy doesn't bother to beat around the bush, pinning Steve to the wall.

"Stop playing these games, Harrington," Billy snarled.

Steve played innocent, widening his eyes to feign his innocence.

"What games am I playing, Billy? And what happened to Steve? I thought we were cool now." He pouted.

"We were until you kept on going with the pet names. What the fuck is up with that, Harrington? I know the dare was only for a day so why haven't you stopped with this bullshit yet?"

Steve just smirked at Billy and in a flash, their positions were switched.

"Aw but don't you like them, sweetheart?"

"N-no I-"

"Because I think you do like it, baby."

Billy looked around and tried to push Steve away but Steve had actually planted his feet for once and Billy couldn't get free.

"Stop trying to change the fucking subject!" He cried, trying to get Steve to release his wrists from over his head.

Steve leaned down.

"What's the matter with them, babe? They're just pet names."

"I don't like 'em. I don't like you treating me like I'm one of your girls so stop it."

Steve chuckles and moves even closer. Steve can feel how fast Billy's heart is beating and feel Billy's hitched breath on his skin.

"I think you're lying, baby."

"W-What?"

Steve chuckles before he moves to whisper his answer into Billy's ear, firmly pressing the blond into the wall.

"I think you secretly like all of the pet names. That pretty blush of yours comes out every time I use one and I love seeing it on you. See? There it is right now." Steve says, tucking a loose curl behind Billy's ear.

"I-I-"

Steve releases his hold on Billy's wrists before moving in.

"Stop me if I'm reading this wrong, baby."

Billy only melts into Steve's kiss, wrapping his arms around Steve's shoulders as Steve's hands move to grip Billy's hips to pull him in closer.

They make out for a good few minutes before Billy remembers he has to go and bring Max home from the arcade. Billy regretfully broke the kiss to get some air and to deal with everything once and for all.

"Fuck!"

"What is it, babe?"

"I-I need to go. I have to bring Max home before dinner starts or else, I'll be dead." Billy explained, wringing his hands in an unconscious manner.

Steve notices and immediately goes to hold both of them while catching Billy's eye.

"It's fine, Billy. I need to go and pick up the rest of the kids too but if you're free later, come to my house, baby. My parents won't be home for a few weeks so we can have it all to ourselves."

Billy looks down at their conjoined hands before meeting Steve's gaze to clarify where they stood.

"I-W-What are we doing, Steve?"

"Well, I don't know about you but I'd like to be in a relationship with you, Billy. Sure, I went about it in a different way but I'd love to be able to be with you and explore just how far that flush of yours goes, baby."

Billy flushes again but he doesn't try so much to hide it. Instead, he peeks up at Steve from behind his long, blond lashes. Billy dared to hope.

"This isn't a one time thing?"

"Not unless that's what you want. I want to go the whole nine yards with you if you'll let me, Billy. The ball's in your corner."

Billy's silent and contemplative for a few seconds before he mumbles his answer.

"I-I want that."

"What did you say, baby? I couldn't understand." Steve teased.

"I want to be in a relationship with you, okay?"

"Well, then I'll be the luckiest man in the world, baby because I get to call you mine."

Billy groaned.

"Fuck, you're such a sap, Harrington."

"Ah, but I'm your sap, baby."

[bashirs]

when juxtaposed with a human character like sisko especially, julian is almost culturally defined by his lack of culture. we can quite safely assume he's english based on the casting for him and his dad, holosuite stuff, and scattered details (plus i believe it's confirmed in supplemental canon) but unless i'm forgetting something, he doesn't outright tell us in any capacity. he definitely doesn't have an established hometown or anything. sure he's attached to earth more generally in a lot of ways, he's well-versed in classic literature and geography and he likes centuries-old history if only on a superficial level, but he still can't trace his own family tree back three generations. i would blame the writers not knowing what the fuck to do w him for half of julian's characterization (and lack thereof) so of course i'm cheering for anyone who wants to fill in the gaps by projecting onto him, but you really do have to make things up yourself because there's next to nothing actually there.

it's worth confronting the real-life side of ds9 leaving julian as a very generic "probably second or third-ish generation immigrant from somewhere in the swana region but maaaaybe south asia, who knows" type guy. and i do think it's questionable for the majority white writing team to have not even tried to give the character any sort of ethnic background. but when julian is a dishwashed version of british on top of that, he's most often an everyman who happens to have an RP accent and not be white, for better or worse. in more than one interview, alexander siddig has reflected on the fact he wasn't really thinking much abt his own cultural/racial identity in the '90s (and how he was then suddenly forced to post-9/11) and i think that was mirrored in julian. but even since then, siddig has politely declined to give his two cents on julian's ethnicity at least once, so at this point the genericness is arguably a semi-intentional facet of the character.

considering this again within the four walls of the story, julian is interested in all sorts of things including what other planets have going on culturally, so you can't chalk his cluelessness up to fundamental lack of curiosity. i can't imagine the nature of his relationship with his parents would've made him especially eager to connect with any heritage he may have otherwise had, but i think it's still more than that. so finally, i want to briefly consider garak as his foil: garak has to advertise his cardassian-ness because he's in exile, he's fundamentally failed at being cardassian and he's trying aggressively to cover it up because if he's not cardassian, then what the fuck is he? julian, on the other hand, may not want to draw too much attention to his own humanity because he's also fundamentally failed at being human in some sense but he hasn't been figured out yet.

luckily for him, star trek's earth is hyper-globalized and he probably wouldn't be an outlier for his absence of strong geocultural identity. and with the combination of the aforementioned factors, you could argue (from a purely in-universe standpoint) that it's even more than him just not caring – julian is obscuring this shit on purpose.

[boyswanna-be-her]

Today was a banner day escorting patients past the anti-abortion protesters (I'll just call them "antis" from now on, which is what all the other volunteers call them). There were TONS of appointments today and plenty of antis--including Wayne, the LOUDEST man on their crew, who I absolutely hate, who has assaulted a volunteer, who ALWAYS talks to me and tries to get my goat (not possible--goat gone, watch for finger).

In an incredible turn of events, 4 volunteers showed up to escort. I'm using Wayne's real name but let's keep it real for the volunteers--no identifying info. Volunteer Robert and I have been there together TONS because nobody else has been coming. Volunteer Sue was one of the first people I met and I love her so much--she comes once a week. And volunteer Matty was a new-to-me volunteer who has been out a few times.

I started playing music at the site weeks ago to keep up my own morale, and we quickly discovered that among the volunteers, I had the loudest speaker. Of course playing music for us escalated to playing music to troll them (i can have a little petty behavior, as a treat).

Then this week I... bought a louder speaker.

One thing Wayne loves to do is to stand outside the waiting room windows and pray and chant and harass and sing at the people inside. Unfortunately, it's quite audible.

Usually when all the patients are in, it's the time when the volunteers get to mostly chill and catch up, so when I saw Wayne handing out fucking sheet music to his anti cronies, my blood pressure was already up. They went up and down singing and singing and I just followed them on our side of the property line (it's legally pretty muddy but we have enough of a berth that they're a car's length from the windows) with my speaker in hand. I have a playlist now, of course.

At one point, Volunteer Sue gestured at anti Kim who was booking it down the road and said something about how ridiculous it was, the way that Kim chases these people just trying to leave.

I said "I feel like the Benny Hill Theme should be playing every time she does that." And then it hit me that I had a speaker and I could absolutely make that happen.

The next time Wayne et al lined up to yell-pray at the window, I pulled out Yakety Sax and put my speaker on its highest setting. At this point I was really fucking done with them shitting on my quality time with people I enjoy, so I was a little in his face about it (he's larger than I am and taller), just cancelling out his loud praying with my loud Yakety Sax.

I've done a lost of testing walking around to see the way that my music travels because I don't want to bother the surrounding businesses of course (and I don't want to get myself into trouble with the clinic). I really only turn it up when everyone is inside because booming music isn't super welcoming for patients who are already in a bonkers fucking environment. But the speaker at full volume is startlingly loud up close, can't be heard once you're in a car or office.

I am usually completely non confrontational with the antis. What I get off on is shaming them by letting their own idiot words hang in the air when they say them and smiling back at them. But I swear I just woke up knowing that Wayne was gonna be there and get under my skin. Not today fucker. Your skin is MINE.

So Yakety Sax was VERY well received by the volunteers and innocent people in the parking lot, and you have to imagine it being played while someone AGGRESSIVELY prays at a closed window. The other three volunteers were literally stood up behind me, all with full-size rainbow umbrellas and rainbow hi-viz vests, and they were laughing it up (antis HATE it when we laugh at them holy shit does it darken their days!).

I was shaking from adrenaline because this man was in my face but I held the speaker up and pulled up "Entry of the Gladiators" to queue as the next song. Yakety Sax finished up, Spotify helped with a crossfade to ensure no silent moments, and the Gladiators began their fucking Entry.

Wayne was NOT having it. Never would I ever have thought that playing circus music at a grown man would make him lose his temper, but yes, this move fully fucked with the old man's head. Temper gone, chili stirred. He started yelling his prayer literally as loud as he could into my face.

I stood there and took it. His little buddies were visibly unhappy with how it was abruptly escalating. I stood there and took it. Like full minutes passed, I was glad I had a second circus song queued because I needed it. The time dilation was real, and I gotta say having an adult man yell a prayer in your face for 3-5 minutes really makes time go by slow.

During that time, things were also escalating on our side, as Volunteers Robert and Matty had started hollering at Wayne to back up (oh yeah, forgot to mention that I started out a good legal distance from him but he crossed over onto our property line so that he could properly yell in my face). So it was just cacophony, full blast three men in a triangle around me yelling at each other while "Bozo's Song" was blaring.

At that point, when my side started yelling back, I felt like I might actually be in danger--and at the same moment that occurred to me, I realized how powerful it would be to just stop the music abruptly and walk away. So that's what I did. My side was silent immediately. Wayne continued pray-yelling as loud as he could--but he knew he couldn't get away with following me so he stayed at the window, his friends visibly dismayed, wondering if they should intervene.

I just wanted to make him look dumb, not piss Wayne off more, but me walking away made him go NUCLEAR. I think it was that he knew he'd shown his ass, but also that he could no longer yell at me or harass me because I'd removed myself.

I was very shaken up but proud of myself. Robert and I backed our hatchback trunks up to each other to form like a shady spot for all the volunteers, so I hopped into my open trunk and grabbed a soda and tried to chill myself out.

When I looked up, the clinic OWNER was making a beeline for Wayne. I didn't even realize the clinic owner was in town. Honestly I wouldn't have provoked Wayne if I had because doing this is important to me and I don't want to upset the big boss or give her any reason to tell me not to come back. When I saw her, my heart really dropped.

The other three volunteers had stayed there with the praying group. When the owner came out, Wayne turned his fury on her. I was too far away to hear what was going on. I was so ready for her to make a beeline to ME after Wayne.

IDK if Volunteer Robert ran interference for me with her on purpose or not, but the escort solidarity was strong today and the other volunteers implied that everything that went down had been a group decision. Owner never even came over to talk to me, so I learned secondhand that she wasn't mad at me at all. They couldn't hear my music, even at full volume, but they could hear Wayne yelling!!! And he sounded like a scary crazy idiot! Way to court people to your side, boo boo the white supremacist fool.

Once I knew for sure that I wasn't in trouble, though, holy shit yall. Getting Wayne to embarrass himself in front of such a crowd today is NOT something I could've predicted for myself. Top 10 in the Kelly Highlight Reel for ya boy today. I'll be riding off the sheer bliss of fucking up his day for years, probably.

Wayne IMMEDIATELY removed himself from the scene (or they told him to fuck off, who knows) so we didn't get anything more from him until the volunteers spotted him in his truck, stopping to talk to the cop. He had to drive directly in front of us to get out of the parking lot so I said, "hey let's say goodbye to Wayne!" and the four of us lined up and leaned on our cars and smiled big at him.

He rolled the window down and before we could say anything (we weren't going to) and he said in a sarcastic voice, "I know, I know, go fuck myself," and roared off, leaving us in hysterics, possibly the only funny thing Wayne has ever done in his whole life.

[ephhemeralite]

Since you came to ask for my process, I'd like to come over here and ask about yours!! I see you also do drafts, and I'd love to hear how that looks for you 👀

There is no pressure to go as in depth as I did for mine though!!! And there is no rush <333

I hope your writing is going well!!!

hello!! i have written, honestly, so much in response to this. thank you very, very much for asking, because i love to talk about writing!! maybe more than i enjoy writing, even. lord.

one caveat about me and prose: my thing is very, very definitely poetry. i write poetry about every other day and i have done for years. i adore fanfiction -- to write it, to talk about it, to brainstorm about it, to help edit my friends'. i love how collaborative it is, i love its unique sets of tropes, i love when people talk to me about my fics and their own. i LOVE fic. i do not adore writing it the same way. sometimes, i think of it as a means to an end (having a fic i would like to read and am proud to have written). the way that i go about writing fics reflects this, i think.

my process is pretty shaky and i can be bad about sticking to it (i try to 'trick' my brain out of needing the things it needs to complete longform writing. like a FOOL). the general shape of my process is: an inciting idea (a song lyric, a poem, another fic, a tumblr post, "wouldn't it be cool if [blank] happened in a fic?") -> an actual concept (what would actually have to go on in a fic to make [blank] plausible) -> first draft (me telling the story to myself, ugly) -> second draft (rewrite with a lot of influence from the first draft but, like, good to look at). all throughout this process, i tend to take the time to line edit when my brain gets too overwhelmed with the actual writing, since i find editing to be leagues easier. it's a good way to take a break while still working on the fic, but it is deeply inefficient from every other angle. but, hey, the first rule of fic is to have fun and be yourself.

i'm going to go into detail under the cut bc no one's dash deserves what i've done to this ask.

warning (?) for the fact that the fic i'm currently writing is hockey rpf.

i usually start out with rambling to my friends, too! when my hrpf first possessed me, i sent about 15 messages to my friend cara (who doesn't give a shit about hockey or hrpf) that outlined the (hrpf-specific) trope i liked, what fic inspired me (x), and the goal of my own fic. an abbreviated snippet of that:

it could be interesting to play with the two ways the trope manifests (violent/aggressive and protective) (needing to be taken care of/reassured by teammates) via having them both nest. it has the potential to be so tender . . . i have this mental image of ullmark, who is spacy (clue that he's due for nesting on his own) at practice doing drills or smth when he hears swayman yell/yelp/smth (depends on what sets him into nesting, hurt/confronted/whatever) and goes to check on him only to be met with a fully nesting goalie. while trying to calm him down, he ends up nesting, too.

i imagined this as a oneshot with an extended version of this scene and, perhaps, another. i knew what vibe i was shooting for and what content might pair with it. i skipped the concept step, because i am a fool and i hoped it might be short enough to get through writing it with momentum. i did not do that. more on this later.

what an idea turning into a concept should look like:

i want to write a version of the batfamily/white collar crossover that deals with all related topics the way that //i// think they should be handled

into

a two-chaptered fic, heavy on parallels, split between peter and dick's povs. lots of unreliable narration where the parallels draw attention to how unreliable everything is. both chapters should include the same or similar scenes with the characters' first impressions of each other, moments when they clash (insert scene ideas where dick loses agency, peter invades his privacy, a major plotpoint from the show, etc), how that results in a rise in tension, and when that tension breaks in the climax (burning building?? dick fakes his death???), and closing scenes. dick's pov is going to include a lot more family stuff, focus on the issues of the fic, etc, while peter's pov obscures the issues and completely misses the presence of dick's family.

this is only a recreation of what my 'acquainted with the saint of never getting it right' fic's concept would have looked like, since i've lost all of this since i drafted it two years ago, but the thought stands. it's really sparse -- less than your zero draft, even, but the next step in my process is more than a zero draft, so i'd say they hold the same place in my process. i might include references to ideas i have for scenes if i have them, but they're usually few-word clues like "sketchbook" or "peter in apartment for coffee."

since i like to swim without a paddle, my next step is draft one. my goal is to get it down; if the details feel good and come easy, i will include them, but i don't let them trip me up. it's easier to add shit into the next draft than it is for this one to go uncompleted, basically. some word choices from this draft might remain in the final piece, but rarely does sentence structure or much else.

Sway is growling from deep in his chest, projecting the sound out across the ice. The rest of the team is inching away from Sway’s crease and towards Linus, which upsets something in the back of his mind — Sway should have the team around if he's upset. Clearly, with the growling, he doesn't want them close, but that doesn't mean that they should leave him, either. Once he settles down, he's going to want them. Linus knows, he'd had his fair share of triggered nesting episodes when he was younger. Unless there was something specific that’d set him off — then things would be different, according to what he needed — but Linus doubts that. It was mostly likely that this was just a simple rough start and Sway could get into proper nesting the moment he settled down and relaxed in the net. He could show Sway that easily, Linus thinks. His drifting forward comes to a gentle stop near the front of the pack of teammates and coaching staff carefully not crowding Swayman. He registers, in a distant way, that what's happening right now is going to cause a heaping helping of issues for somebody, but he's also not worried about it. At all.  What he's worried about is how Sway needs to feel safe right now and how he doesn't. Linus knows that he's never felt safer than while nesting for this team and that he could give Sway that, if he tried. He just has to get Sway to a nest. All he needs to do is tell Sway that and Sway will surely listen. He lets out a loud chirp, cutting off whatever the head and goalie coaches were trying to say to Swayman. Usually, he'd feel pretty guilty about interrupting, but it's alright. He's going to fix the issue; they'll understand. Sway moves from eyeing up the coaches to staring straight at him so fast that Linus worries about him pulling something; all of the more reason to get him safe and tucked away, somewhere where they can both relax. The growl dies abruptly in his throat, which makes Linus want to preen. Clearly he knows his teammates best. Linus chirps again, eager to get this moving along. Eyes locked onto him, Sway chirps back.

this is a pretty long excerpt, sorry, but a lot happens between the first and second draft and this has plenty left unworked.

the first paragraph is alright -- some imagery i like (the growling and the team's movement), linus' thought process toes the line between coherent and incoherent the way i'd like it to (might lift that, wholesale, to the second draft), although the phrasing "which upsets something in the back of his mind" is... eugh.

the second, third, and fourth paragraphs' main use is to outline where linus' mindset is going, although it's clunky and off-target. i just need the reminder to write his mindset in and its vague shape, for this draft, though. if i kept any of this, the phrasing/sentence structure would need to be changed, but it's more likely that i'd scatter it through the movement and description i'd add into the second draft. my first drafts tend to be either all-internal or all-external, so my second drafts act as the equalizer.

beyond that, my second drafts also make everything... longer. so much longer. it helps me move everything from a barebones "this is what probably happens" to "this is what experts call a nice reading experience," you know? plus, i can move forward with draft one with questions still unanswered, like: i haven't actually decided how i want the narration to refer to these characters, yet. the first name vs last name vs nickname and WHEN debate is an important one, but if i got hung up on that first, i'd never actually write the damn fic itself. instead, we can get it moving.

the difference between a first and second draft might look like this for me:

Nile is in the desert.  Her boots are stiff with sand, her hands grasping her rifle, her body weary under her gear. She's marching. On the back of her tongue, she tastes blood. There's not another person around for miles. No squadmates, no commander. No civilians, no insurgents. The sun beats down on her from its place at perfect zenith. Nile stumbles to a stop, heaving for the heat. She casts about for her water, but it's not where it should be or anywhere it shouldn't be, either.

vs

Nile is never going to get out of the desert. That’s most of what she knows. There are other things, like: her boots are stiff with sand, her hands are grasping a rifle, her body is weary under her gear. She’s marching. On the back of her tongue, she tastes blood. She’s alone. From horizon to horizon, the terrain is empty of everything but herself. Her squadmates are missing, her commander absent. There are no civilians, no insurgents.  The sun beats down on her from its place at perfect zenith, millions of miles away. She stumbles to a stop, heaving for the heat. She wishes, desperate beyond words, for water, but her bottle is missing. It’s not hooked onto her vest or around her hips; she’s never spent a moment more aware of each of the trillion grains of sand that surround her, dry as dust, as in this moment.

(this fic, even the sun knows where you sleep, has been languishing as a half-finished second draft since may of last year. it's a crossover between the old guard and the sandman, where nile has a series of dreams influenced by morpheus. this is one of them) the first draft of this fic is about 5k, but the finished second draft could end up around 15k. long as hell, by my poet standards.

this second draft is lacking line edits, but bloop (my beloved sister, muah, ily, etc) helped me comb through it months ago so the proposed changes are available. the phrasing is prettier, the structure less repetitive, the imagery and setting clearer. the parts of this that are written are just a stone's throw away from being of posting quality. unfortunately, i'm also of the camp no-posting-before-completed, so it won't be.

i have a gomens fic sitting unfinished on my account because i lost steam and interest before i finished the second draft of its last chapter, which is just... so unfortunate. i'd love to finish it, and eventually i might, but i've acquired a bit of distaste for gomens in the meantime and (in the spirit of being myself and having fun) i'm not beating myself up about it. but, like, lesson learned.

back to the point: sometimes, the second draft can change more of a fic (warning for non-graphic violence):

Nile is standing at the window at the top of Merrick's skyscraper, Andy's labrys in hand.  The window is shattered again, though there's no other proof of their battle that Nile can sense. Andy is nowhere to be seen, nor is Merrick. Nile doesn't look down through the window, but she knows there's no crushed car or mutilated body, either. There is Nile, standing at the shattered edge, weathering the sharp breeze snapping against her. There is the ax in her hand, the wooden handle rough. Grainy. It hasn't been smoothed by use or through craftsmanship and Nile can feel splinters bite into her grip.  The wood is hot, she realizes suddenly – not skin-warm, but the type of hot that comes from holding something porous as it burns and vents heat through places yet untouched by the flame. In panic, she raises her head to find the source and is blinded, completely. The shock of it is such that she stops moving entirely and blinks, uncomprehending – the sun.

vs

Nile is standing in the moment before the fall. The precipice.  She’s at the top of Merrick’s tower again. Behind her lies a cold and empty room, made more of shadow than substance. She knows that she is supposed to continue through – see the moment to its end – but she has been given the opportunity to pause, as time comes to a standstill. Some things have changed; Andy and Merrick are missing. The evidence of their fighting is gone, except that the window is already shattered. A cold wind rushes through the absence, knocking sharp teeth against her body, frozen in its lunge forward toward empty space. In her fist is the labrys that should be cutting into the meat of Merrick’s shoulder. Nile can feel the tackiness of blood in her grip on the wooden handle. She wonders at the grainy texture caught beneath it, surprised that time nor craftsmanship hasn’t smoothed it over, before she understands that this is not Andy’s handle. Instead, the roughly-hewn lumber extends from the floor to a place over her head to become a sort of halberd, its point on the floor supporting most of her weight.  It's hot, too – not skin-warmth, but the type of heat that comes from holding a porous item as it’s being consumed by fire, venting heat out through places yet untouched by flame. Nile isn’t injured by the blister of it, but the sensation of burning without pain unnerves her and she raises her gaze to find the blade and the flame. Only, she doesn’t make it that far. Lifting her face out of her hunched position brings it to look toward the window, where she discovers the opposite of Merrick’s abyssal building as it inundates her: an immense deluge of light.

there's a lot more definitive changes to structure, phrasing, and imagery here than in my last snippet. i do, in a literal sense, go through and rewrite each word of my fic between drafts, but how many of those words are carried over from the first to the second can vary depending on the quality of the draft. it's way easier for me to rework a pre-existing piece than make something, wholesale, which i'm well aware of and try to cater to. this is the method that's seen my writing improve the most, even though i think it's wildly impractical and unwieldy. i've even done it with this exact post, which part of why it's taking me so long to finish it!

i'm trying something new with the process on the hrpf, since it's been giving me so much trouble. the theme's changed a bit, with a wider scope and something specific to say, but i also want to incorporate a social media/journalism/outsider's perspective element, which will let me move around outside of the characters' narrations while establishing the wider world of the au. this new step is as close to a zero-draft as i've gotten, even though it's still way less detailed. it looks like this:

MOST VIOLENT VS MOST AMIABLE GOALIES TO NEST IN THE NHL listicle Sway and Linus discuss nesting, Linus has settled into a pattern Could gentle-nester ullmark be a calming influence over swayman or will he dull his edge? speculative piece, focus more on the first option maybe to contrast the move towards understanding anger. Bruins vs buffalo, ullmark in net (dec. 7 game? If the timeline for that works), linus is upset at the loss/it goes bad somehow. Sway is supportive in a more assertive way than typical. It doesn’t start here but it turns here Can’t decide if tweets or something would be good here Internal, staff-only memo advising to keep sway away from linus when he’s feeling broody.

each line represents a separate 'chunk' of the fic. with the added elements, i need to know what will go where so that i can make sure the storytelling tracks throughout. i'm still on this part of the draft, but i'm having a good time with it again which is what i think is most important.

anyway, thank you for asking!! i definitely love to talk about writing! i'm always sooo down to chat, too, except for maybe right now because i am going to pass out asleep i think. <3!!!!!!

[magicalgirlmascot]

You delved a bit into the fun that ghosts can change their appearance with Matoro, who's had three shapes that he remembers: matoran, Toa Inika, and Toa Mahri.

I bet that Hahli at least once during her many deaths looked like her matoran self. At her core, she's still that anxious person. She just now hides her anxiety behind aggression and performance.

Whenua, as we've discussed the other day, wakes up as a ghost in the Archives. He has a moment of panic - he thinks he's trapped. Maybe his memory is not quite yet in the present. He takes his Toa Hordika form until he calms down, with all that entails.

Or Vakama. I'm not sure which would be the better moment, but he's in his Toa Metru form during the confrontations with Voporak. Maybe he also has a Toa Hordika moment.

Ohhhhhh my god yes!!! I always love when characters' emotional state manifests physically and this is definitely a perfect way to do that here. Matoro definitely fluctuates the most often, given that he's the only one who's a ghost 100% of the time. I think for him it's whatever form he feels like manifesting as at any given time, but I also feel like at his most insecure he tends towards Mahri. Not consciously, but yeah. I think that contrasts nicely with Hahli's ghost self manifesting as a Matoran when she's particularly anxious, too.

God, having Whenua Hordika rampaging around the ghost world while Matoro tries to calm him down and explain what's happening to him...maybe he started trying to fix things while Whenua was still unconscious, didn't realize he woke up, and Whenua panicked? It's not like he can affect much in the ghost world anyway, but it would still be pretty scary for Matoro to see Whenua, of all people, like this.

Vakama taking on his Metru form while facing off against Voporak is good, too! I don't think Voporak would be able to see him, though, which is tragic, because can you imagine. You kill some old Turaga and the ghost of the guy who stole your thing a thousand years ago comes out and starts talking delivering like a full monologue while he and his other weird little ghost buddy wreck your shit with a time-powered Rube Goldberg machine

I'm not sure if we'd ever want to kill Dume off for a bit, but I think if we did he'd just be a Turaga and never form shift. He's been a Turaga for so long he's forgotten how to be anything else, even subconsciously.

[swamp-gremlin]

My Old Nick hc's, interpretation, analysis, and other odd bits PT.1

Part 2

This is long overdue but I feel I oughta get something out of the way. I've had a incredibly aggressive special interest in him for like 3-5ish years and at some point in writing hc's I just started making shit up(I mean isn't that just hc's are?) because I really just took a guy with a whopping 14 lines of dialogue and just started sprinting.

I'm choosing to actually leave a few things out as I wish to explore those ideas more in This isn't over Jack, Ill probably swing back around to this after I wrap that up. In the mean time if you wanna swap ideas I'm down(please please please pleaseplea)

Turns out I hit text limit with this oh my lord, ill post pt2 tomorrow, i'm sorry

Can't think of anything particularly triggering in this but i'll warn it gets just kinda bleak

Human turned Fae- I will not elaborate, this will be explained later...

would actually break your legs if you called him a fairy

I've never actually pinned down any specific powers for him for some reason? like i just cant think of like any that i could write/ illustrate that wouldn't feel too gauche... So I just kinda nebulously imaged so weird fae-fuckery type of magic- though I think the most compelling interpretation of his powers was in Scouts Australian Christmas (pls go read it, its a really good fic)

Gay, but I cant imagine he's like particularly out about it; like its a iykyk sorta think because I definitely feel there probably some shame or internalized homophobia there (smth smth homophobic senator caught in a gay bar joke)

Autistic, but most definitely not diagnosed- he would become absolute incensed if you suggested it, like "There is nothing wrong with me, I am normal" but you can tell that he knows there's something "wrong with him" but he has no idea what and is incredibly afraid of even attempting to confront that

Can't imagine there's a moment where he's not masking, he doesn't understand his own limits and will keep doing things until he quite literally can't anymore

Probably has some ~effeminate~ interest he's deeply embarrassed by, but like in all reality its very normal and even if it was thats not a bad thing, he just makes it a big deal for no reason

STRADDLING the line between infodumping and mansplaining

Could be genuinely into a topic but he's just so condescending about it

High functioning alcoholic, kinda in that 50s/ rich way but it's very obvious he has a problem but everyone always brushes it off as "thats just how he is/ things are"

Nick could honestly just be summed up in his impact as a *a systematic bad thing happens again and again* "thats just how things are, get over it" sorta thing or a "Heart warming: student raises funds to prevent orphans from being sent to orphan grinder" and then no-one questions why the orphan grinder exists in the first place

He has been meticulously constructing his public image/ brand as "Old Nick"/ "The Spirit of Australian Christmas"

He is a liar, but he's a very good liar

His accent is fake, his laugh is fake, his public lore is fake and he's not even Australian he's British! (Which is arguably worst thing he has done)

He's basically been voice training to keep up a modern australian accent for years now, but his real accent is more of that 1700s british (which actually sounds different from modern a modern britsh accent) but sometimes he's has moments and his accent slips (mostly when he's yelling)

Has practiced his evil villain laugh so hard, like its a good villain laugh but if you listen hard you can tell its not real

Genuinely so fucking embarrassed by his actual laugh which i can only describe as if a goose that has been smoking a pack a day was being strangled to death

I kinda go back an forth on Nicks upbringing sometimes, because I kinda feel I went the kinda overplayed sorta tragic backstory; but also growing up in 1700s England was probably not fun if you weren't rich and also have you ever met a miserable boomer who does the whole "kids these days are too damn soft back when I was a kid *recounts an incredibly traumatizing event*!" Thing? Yeah he probably does that a lot and it makes everyone kinda uncomfortable

Maybe orphaned? Probably had brothers because he has strong younger brother "your oppressing me by giving me a task" energy (btw this relates to a super stupid hc that im not gonna share because its incredibly dumb)

Expressed a lot of attention seeking behavior from a young age, would purposefully get into trouble so someone would notice him

This behavior followed him into adult life and it would just keep getting worst and worst, like getting into bar fights that he would definitely lose and petty crime

Eventually he just kept ramping up the severity of his crimes till he actually had a warrant/ bounty placed for his arrest

To avoid getting arrested he became a sailor in his late 20s and jumped between ships and trades up until his 50s/60s

Eventually he was arrested and then get shipped off to Australia

After a few months he stuck there he was like "actually, fuck this" and started plotting an escape

He stole a boat and with his previous knowledge from being a sailor he was so full of himself he thought he did single-handedly sail and navigate back Britain or a British sympathetic colony and then lay low for the rest of his life

Of course he didn't happen and due to the fact he is stupid he got stranded in antarctic and the rest is history

If you wanna know how we got from "random crusty criminal" to "Spirit of Australian Christmas" you have to stick around for my shit ass comic and videos fucker

anyway where was i, Nick proceeded to twists that into "Yeah i totally meant to do discover antarctic, even though i was a 1780s peasant who would have not have even known that antarctic was even thing" he kinda sorta dropped the rest of it and made up more shit Homelander style

I don't believe that Nick was like well off in anyway when he was still mortal, and despite being just bludgeoned over the head with the effects of classism and a nightmare capitalist hell society he developed this horrible idolization of the rich and developed this almost "by your bootstraps" mentality but with like the brutality rich bushiness owners would treat there workers, where he though if he became horrible and ruthless he could trample and climb on the backs of his fellow men till he made it to that oh so coveted high society life.

probably doesn't help he would do absolutely anything for money either

and the thing is he made it, he's just unfathomably rich(that is till all those gambling debts catch up to him...) he got what he wanted, he got he's gotten all the money and attention he could have wanted... and yet he's miserable, nothing will ever be enough for him.

Throw back motif that's still my favorite- "decaying luxury". Nick is like obviously rich as fuck and yet just refuses to fix anything, like his sweater has so many little holes in it he just stopped bothering to fix, he's patched his pants so many times, stairs worn down to the point the rug is thread bear and the wood is dented, intricate arsenic and lead laced wallpaper that's now water damaged and peeling, his favorite chair's seams are ripped, and the stuffing and springs are just compressed and flat to the point its not even comfortable to sit in anymore. Like he can fix it, he has the money, and yet he just won't for some reason.

Oh speaking of arsenic and lead- mans is just absolutely FULL of lead, arsenic, asbestos, any other harmful thing the Victorians where just absolutely HUFFING

tangent on a tangent, i really associate him with the Victorian era despite him being born in the 1700s, maybe its the child labor, maybe its the stupid chops, he just looks like he should be in super tall neck-line and doing coke for a headache

Nick is just both incredibly self absorbed but also so fucking insecure, like very big insecure man makes his problems everyone else's problem and take his out on other people to feel better about himself energy

He's just so vain too, like i image he's just obsessed with himself and his image, probably doesn't help he's quite literately has been decomposing for like the last two centuries (IT WILL BE EXPLAINED WHY LATER I PROMMY) so he just has this like incredibly extensive Patrick Bateman ass self-care routine so he doesn't get moldy

[doublestackedtables]

finished anatomy of a fall and find the idea that the film leaves its central question in any way ambiguous completely absurd. and I feel it's only approachable in that way if you have a) never had suicidal ideation and been in a therapeutic context where you had to hide that, b) never seen a midlife crisis happening in person where communication had broken down and projection enters an aggressive and hostile stage, c) are a misogynist or homophobe or are monogamy-obsessed and simply adopts the position of the prosecutor because he sounds convinced. the movie formalizes this incredible distinction between a moralistic motivated discourse on the prosecutor's part and a genuine experience of doubt where you are forced to confront why people would say the things they say and do the things they do. when you listen to the recorded conversation and want to still believe she pushed him out the window, you have to connect what she said to that accusation and then against the rest of what we see of her. you would need a malice and capriciousness that is just not evident in her. you would need to describe her more than the prosecutor could, keep going at the very moment he stops and turns selectively to her novels. and the more context the prosecutor layers on the more you have to project that the initial story, a momentary violent passion, is actually a decade long abusive relationship where this man feels powerless to do anything WHILE HE ALSO HAS DETERMINED THE COURSE AND SHAPE OF THEIR LIVES. this is the part that blows my mind, you would really have to imagine her saying "of course honey, let's move away from the place I like to this shit hole so you can fall deeper into my spell of torturous castration". when you press on the prosecutor's story as it's told in asides and snide remarks you find only a paper thin projection of misogyny and homophobia hanging it all together.

[puppy-the-mask]

On some angsty shit tonight, thinking about a confrontation between Mimic and the boys. They’ve been becoming better while mimic’s life has just gotten worse.

While trying to discover things about themself they end up backsliding- rejecting the femininity that they were starting to warm up to, rejecting all things sexy, flirtatious, and sexual (their humor, fashion, etc.)- becoming more repulsed with the ideas and internalizing that those things are bad and that any want for them is too- but only for mimic themself, these concepts are fine for others. All the confidence that they built in their body shattered- crop tops buried at the bottom of drawers.

Eventually things get brought to light when Rant- in Mimic’s body, gets sexually harassed by one of his and Mutt’s ‘friends’. He deals with it but what they said stuck with him, the next day (when he’s back in his body) he tells Mimic about it and that he’ll deal with it. He didn’t expect to turn around and find them crying. “I’m sorry.” “What are you sorry for- you did nothing wrong!” “I’d always assumed you wouldn’t care…”

Imagine that, your first real friend saying that they didn’t think you’d care enough to be there for them. That has to be absolutely Soul Crushing hearing that, your friend has been suffering in silence because they thought you’d dismiss their problems- which they only have because you’ve built a reputation as a player and, since they appear female and hang out with you, that must mean that they’re a slut playing hard to get. And somehow, despite being able to read a person’s very Soul, neither brother noticed.

I imagine they all sit down and talk about it and when the brothers remark ‘how could you think that’ all mimic can say is ‘I can’t read you like you read me’ ‘it’s impossible to tell what you’re thinking’

I can see Mutt blaming himself, he had thought that mimic and the guy at the party was a one time fluke. But really it was months of pent up aggression finally coming to a head- he should have known that there’s no way that someone would react so drastically if it hadn’t been built up to/been happening time and time again.

[cheesus-doodles]

WHADDUP WHADDUP WHADDUP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 how would the other Yan boys react to y/n getting her uhm shit rocked 😳. I feel like some of them would freeze in utter rage, others would like try to hold her.

What if y/n kinda shuts down about the whole thing. I think I would do the same, I think I would just want to be held and spoken to gently. I'm imagining maybe some of the boys lash out around her (not at) and it just kinda startles her and she already really shaken up.

I'm just very enamored with the boys being kinda nurturing (as much as they can be) bc their PERSON has been hurt. I want all the fluff for us and all the ANGST for the people who hurt us haha.

I just want to be smothered with love ya know 😔✊️

Apologies is this doesn't really fit with how you think it might happen :) thank you!

Continuation from this ask!

Masterlist

‎‎

assjkdlnajldksa i want to be loved on by all my boys as well TuT

You thought you managed to sneak past your Black Dragon friends lounging about in your living room initially by just acting normal - dropping your keys on your side table next to your front door and making for your room, smoothie in hand. But right as you were about to climb the stairs, Inupi flatly asks you where you were going and how long you were planning to hide those bruises from them and you freeze. Crap. This boy had spotted the marks up and down your arms the moment you walked through the door and had waited to see if you would come clean with what happened or if he needed to confront you.

Koko initially is calm because he has no idea what Inupi is referring to (wasn’t wearing his glasses), but as you reluctantly shuffle closer and hold out your arms when Inupi asks you to, this baby boy flies straight into a panic, grabbing your wrists and turning it this way and that, asking you what happened and where you got the black and purple bruises that littered your arms and neck from, some very obvious in the shape of handprints. And you contemplated for a moment just telling a white lie - you didn't want to see anyone die just because they decided you would make an easy target to vent their frustrations on the Black Dragons' aggressive expansion. But before you could answer, Inupi already is lifting your shirt revealing the much worse bruising underneath, clearly those obtained from a fight. You wincing at the light touch of fabric was the last straw, Koko’s panic turning into full-blown anger, though he has at least enough control not to let it all out in your face when you were already clearly overwhelmed. Forces himself to calm down before he starts speaking, keeping his voice as neutral as he can manage, asking you what happened and who did this. When you do tell them, you get a scolding for still going to buy a smoothie, but its nowhere as harsh as you had expected, just making you promise that you would call them immediately if this ever happens again - which it won’t, because you’re never leaving the house alone again.

Inupi accompanying you to the kitchen so that he can put on some soothing balm and ice the worse ones, but also to turn your attention away from Koko not only sending out orders to the rest of the Black Dragons to start giving actual hell to that gang, but also putting a bounty out in particular for those for dared laid hands directly on you - they will be dealt with directly and only by Koko and Inupi who were itching to pay back the hell you must have gone through, being assault out of the blue for something that you weren’t even involved in. It was time to send a clear warning to anyone who thought that you were an easy target, a weak link in the Black Dragons - there was a reason why none of the usual brutal delinquents that made up the fierce gang dared to even look your way, but it was nothing your fragile self needed to know or be apart of. Your friends would handle that for you.

If it were the Tenjiku boys on the other hand, I think the reaction to finding you sliding up with bruises and a smoothie would be way, way worse. And you definitely know what your friends are like and can probably guess what their reactions would be, so you already tried to “walk it off” with the hopes some time and your ice cold smoothies would at least help the bruises to fade. Sadly it doesn’t work like that, and you had no choice but to shamble home before your phone goes off and they start sending out search parties. Izana would immediately fall silent upon opening the door and finding you outside and his expression would completely blank out, but the anger. Oh boy, the anger that roars to life in his eyes is enough to make you flinch even if you know its not directly at you. You hear your name calling from behind Izana, but the rest of the boys are wondering why the white-haired boy was frozen in the doorway, so Kakucho comes over to check and instantly notices the bruises up and down your arms. Izana grabs you by your wrist and hauls you in, and all the while you try to kind of pretend that everything’s alright even though it hurts even on the lightest touch - but obviously everyone present can read your face with ease.

Ran tugs you into his lap as you are dragged into the living room, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your head as the others quickly realize that the bruises weren’t your normal kind from being clumsy - the black and purple bruises were 100% those from being held down way too hard for your easily marked skin. Tension in the room feels like it can cut with a knife, Izana demanding to know who did it and the other boys keenly listening - even Shion was unusually silent and serious. Rindo disappears for a bit, returns with numbing cream, bandages and ice packs that you usually stock in your kitchen for them when they swing round after gang fights, both Ran and Rindo helping you out of your school shirt so that they can assess the full extent of damage, before quickly getting to work patching you up.

Start talking, and talk fast because the white-haired boy is mad - and he is downright pissed that you didn’t care to let them know that you were attacked (just a message or a call and they would have come running, you knew that), or worse still, tried to protect your attackers instead of coming straight home and letting your Tenjiku friends deal with it. The moment your friends hears that you weren’t just randomly attacked, but that it had been targetted precisely because you were spotted hanging out with them, all hell breaks lose.

Be prepared to duck in a snap, or don’t because Ran and Rindo will watch out for you and shift you around, Izana will have sent his phone hurling through the air, followed quickly by chairs and tables as he throws a huge temper tantrum. Obviously being the ruthless gang that they were, Tenjiku would have its enemies, but hardly anyone present in your house can believe that any other person with two brain cells would dare to lay a finger on you when everyone knows who you belong to. But under the combined stress of what you just went through earlier on, Izana being absolutely furious, and the others trying to get more information out of you, you shut down, face going blank. Grabs his uniform and storms out, Kakucho shooting the Haitani brothers a look before turning and chasing after Izana - it was clear that the scarred boy would rather stay with you, but as Izana’s right hand man, he was duty bound to follow his boss and round up the rest of the gang. On the opposing end, despite the two brothers lusting for blood and itching to get revenge, their first priority would be to make sure that you would come out of this fine, and in the state that you were, they were more than willing to sit this one out - no words needed to be spoken for them to know that neither Izana nor any of the other boys wouldn’t permit you to be left alone ever again.

Doesn’t matter how long you take to recover, Ran and Rindo would be patiently waiting for you with a fresh smoothie and tubs of your favourite ice cream on the other end, which they said you could have once you go take a shower and get ready for bed (because you’re not doing anything else today no matter what you insist, you need the rest to feel better).

Your Tenjiku friends take it as a personal insult that you of all people were attacked - to them, it didn’t even matter whether you had been randomly selected or targetted, the moment the rival gang lifted a finger against you, their fate was sealed, and they were destined to be wiped off the map. No one is spared when Izana is out for blood - anyone even remotely involved in the incident or was in the vicinity but didn't step in is getting thrashed. Even the brothers get their turn prowling the night for the last few shaking stragglers - no doubt that the hospital would be very, very busy that week.