babioleto

[b4kuch1n]

7; A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate. 19; Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.). 28; Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)!

hiiii plaid 💕

ask game here

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

puppetry! and puppet-making, for that matter. miniature and diorama making as well. both requires delicate hands and patience I don't possess, but both are so magical to me that I really wanna try my hand at them anyway... I love illusions maintained with artistry and layers upon layers of mechanisms! I love artifice! show me fake things! it's so sexy when art commits to its bit!

feels like it goes without saying but I also immensely appreciate animation, of course. as a comic artist the process of animation makes me shudder, but also genuinely so many character designs would be nothing without the motions assigned to them in animation, doubly so with monsters.

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

shoes and glasses. glasses I can draw pretty much from memory in one go because I've had a pair sitting on my nose for almost two decades now, shoes treat me much more mercurially but they're always such a fun thing to coordinate in a character design that I brute force my way through drawing them anyway lol. books are another thing I love drawing, making up cover designs and putting jokes in the text/illustrations are my favourite thing in a piece whenever I get to do it :]

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

I'm turns out not a huge event person haha, the more I do stuff nowadays the more I don't keep up with any of that anymore... I had two pieces in the Salt&Pepper TeruMob zine back in the days, I did a comic for the Wear the Mask ITSV zine, I completed witchsona week in... 2018? and the paint witch has been my little pocket rascal ever since... oh yeah! I did an all-comic JosuYasu week in 2017 I think, it's still my hardest play and biggest accomplishment commitment-wise. putting down the most colloquial of sketches for all the comics beforehand, inking and lettering every comic from 8PM to around 6-7AM next day, go to sleep, wake up at like 4PM to make dinner, rinse and repeat for a week except for day 5 I think where I had to re-sketch the whole thing. those comics are all under five pages and I basically cut out the second detail sketching step to ink right on top of the preliminary sketch, but it was still a huge sprint that I'm still pretty proud of. and will never, ever do again. it was not good for me. I do think it was kind of awesome that I managed that! but never again in my goddamn life

(more recently I put in a piece for a local ace community's contest and got a nifty price. it was fun! but that piece's not for this sphere I feel like. it was the first time I saw something I drew in a gallery tho, that was really nice)

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

✨i love my friends so fucking much✨

that’s it. that’s the post.

[mopopshop]

ask for more and u shall receive teehee … jealous!emily has me feeling thinggggsss. can we get some hcs when ppl flirt with the reader, like her teammates or just people at bars?

Jealous Emily X Fem!Reader

i think i cooked on this one but idk 😓

she don’t play abt her girl fr, she doesn’t let any flirting of any type slide

like Hailey’s her bsf but let her get too touchy w you and Em will get so annoyed 

literally glued to you in any party/club setting 

her height is 100% an advantage like let’s say a guy at a party’s getting a little to close for comfort and all she has to do is stand in front of him, towering over the dude, and he’ll back off

she’s jealous and possessive but NEVER in a toxic abusive way

hands all over you, all the time to let people know you’re taken

she does not gaf she’ll kiss tf out of you anywhere anytime any place just to get the point across 

also very pouty about it too, like sometimes she’ll go off and sulk about it 

You’ve just pulled off from the Chic Fil A drive through and Emily’s been pretty quiet the whole drive since. She gives short one worded answers, keeping her eyes on the road.

Finally getting sick of it open your mouth to question her “Okay, what’s your deal”

“Nothing” she shrugs, eyes still glued to what’s ahead of her.

It quickly dawning on you why she’s in such a pissy mood, you start to laugh “Don’t tell me you’re mad cause the worker in the drive through said she liked my hair”

Emily roles her eyes, scoffing.

“You are!” you laugh harder, smacking her arm.

“Fuck off, dude”

“Oh so now i’m dude? Em, cmon I can’t get compliments on my hair now?”

She finally looks at you “Fuck does she needa compliment your hair for? She should be worrying about the stuff happening inside the damn store” 

“Babe, trust me when I say it’s never this deep”

“Whatever”

You role your eyes, knowing how she is. You grab her free hand that had moved from your thigh, picking it up and peppering it with kisses. “I love you, you know”

She rolls her eyes again, giving in and putting her hand back on your leg “I love you too, I guess”

all up in your instagram comments talkin abt sum “that’s my gf” “that’s my future wife” “i’m literally gonna propose to her” “stay off my girl fr” “y’all can’t fw my girl” ALLL that she’ll make ppl know 

i’m doubling down on this, when i say she makes sure people know SHE MAKES SURE

“Absolutely! so nice to meet you to, I’m ___ and this is Emily m-“

“Her girlfriend. I’m her girlfriend. We’re dating, together 2 1/2 strong years. We’re locked in”

The team thinks it’s funny asf to flirt with you to get Emily annoyed 

Makes you wear her clothes, absolutely loves it when you do that

Loves when you wear her jersey to games 

even made t-shirt that says “I’m Emily Engstler’s girlfriend. Kindly fuck off” 

You both wear necklaces with eachothers initials 

Will bring you up hella in post game interviews so people get the hint

“Yeah I have my girl out there cheering for me..” “My girlfriends one of my biggest supporters..” “My girlfriend” “Girlfriend” “Gf” “Bae 4 Life” “Gonna get married soon” 

“You like her so much, you go fuck her see if I care” and all you did was like say thank you to a barista 

Sassy masc to her CORE and it comes out so much when she’s jealous 

“This your friend?”

at the end of the day she knows ur the one for her and vise versa and you love each other and ur gay and happy 🫡

[goldfades]

hii can u do a 🥭 fic on Emily after a long day

prompt: 32. "sit on my face"

evangeline's 2.5k celebration !! [open!]

─ warnings | nsfw under the cut! please read at your own discretion!!!! face riding and praise, nothing too flithy

all day, emily had been craving your touch. from the moment she woke up, she couldn't help but think about how much she missed you. the way your fingers would trace patterns on her skin, the warmth of your embrace, the way your lips would brush against hers in moments of tenderness ─ all of it felt like a distant memory she longed to relive.

throughout her day, her mind kept wandering back to you. she found herself absentmindedly touching her lips, remembering the softness of your kisses. she didn't know why she was feeling so needy, maybe it was the stress of the week or maybe just plain old horniness, she needed you ─ all of you.

and by the time practice ended and she headed home, emily was practically trembling with anticipation. the need to be with you, to feel your touch, was overwhelming, driving her forward with a sense of urgency she couldn't ignore.

she practically threw you onto the bed, her strength fueled by the intense desire that had been building up inside her all day. your eyes widened in surprise as she straddled you, her hands eagerly roaming over your body, desperate to feel every inch of you beneath her touch.

the air crackled with electricity as emily's lips found yours in a feverish kiss, her hunger matching your own. there was no hesitation, no holding back ─ just raw, unbridled passion igniting between you as you surrendered to the primal urge that consumed you both.

your hands tangled in her hair, pulling her closer as you lost yourself in the intoxicating heat of the moment. the world faded away, leaving only the two of you, entwined in a dance of desire that knew no bounds.

"fuck, ma." she groaned into your lips before she pulled away. "sit on my face, princess, i need you,"

it wasn't a statement, it was a demand. you whimpered as she caressed your face before getting off you, laying on her back as her hands led your hips toward her face. she'd barely touched you and you were already soaking wet and it would've been embarrassing if you weren't so damn needy for her.

emily didn't waste any time, her lips attached to your wet cunt as you moaned, your back arching. she let out her own sounds that vibrated through your body, adding the pressure you already began to feel in your stomach.

the pure bliss you felt was indescribable, it felt like the world had faded away into nothing as her tongue explored you. her hands were gripping your hips harshly as she pulled you further down on her lips and didn't have it in you to protest anymore ─ you knew she wanted this as bad as you did.

"oh my god," you cried out as you began moving your hips against her mouth. you glanced down at emily, her eyes already on your face as she ate you out like her life depended on it.

your legs began to tremble, your neediness evident in the way your lips were pouted and your eyebrows were twisted in concentration. you felt the pressure in your stomach go tighter, your head falling back as you kept letting out desperate moans.

your hips began to falter but emily was determined to make you cum, hard. she gripped your hips even tighter and began moving them, her tongue finding your clit as you let out a gasp at the new sensation.

"fuck, em!" you moaned out as the knot snapped harshly, your body shaking as you doubled over. "oh fuck,"

she kept her tongue inside of you until she was satisfied, your legs were shaking as you slowly got off her face.

"good girl for me, hm? such a good girl," she sat up and pulled your face in for a sloppy and needy kiss, you could taste yourself on her tongue as you let out a small whimper.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[youaresimplylovely]

Fashion n' Cars (Part Four)

Pairings: F1 Grid x Verstappen!Supermodel!Reader Summary: Max Verstappen has a sister who is a famous supermodel but what happens when other F1 drivers start taking interest in her? Warnings: we still have overprotective maxie and a lil cutie maxie <3 fluff!! Fc: Emily Ratajkwoski Proofread!! A/N: woohoo! happy 500 followersss, love u all so much <33 im so happy that we reached this far and i can't wait to continue writing for u guys and giving u the best <3 and again if u want to be added on my taglist u can input ur user on this form ^^ https://forms.gle/4Pk1HSDjTEg51Xo79

part one part two part three

ynverstappen

liked by lewishamilton, f1, and 60,235,023 others

view all comments

maxverstappen1 YOU SAID I WAS GONNA BE WITH YOU WHEN YOU GO TO LONDON 😐

ynverstappen had to take an expert maxverstappen1 you're replacing me with Lewis??? ynverstappen it depends

lewishamilton had fun in London with you darling :)

maxverstappen1 can't wait for the british grand prix so i can crash into you :) ynverstappen thanks lew lew!! maxverstappen1 lew lew my ass

user5 SHUT UP LEWIS AND YN DATE IN LONDON??????

f1 😍

maxverstappen1 are you serious?

ynverstappen love ya f1 <33 user3 AAAA F1 ADMIN SUPPORTING LEWIS AND YN maxverstappen1 no. admin does not. and so do i.

ynverstappen

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 70,923,268 others

ynverstappen maybe if i don't wear rb merch my brother won't win 😋

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maxverstappen1 yeah sure 🥱

landonorris WILL YOU BE MY FUTURE MRS. NORRIS 😍😍

maxverstappen1 i'll kill you before the wedding. landonorris what :( but then i can't marry her!?!? maxverstappen1 exactly.

charles_leclerc red is the only way to go mon amour 😘

maxverstappen1 it also means danger.

georgerussel63 wear merc, we'll be matching 🥰

maxverstappen1 why are there so many british guys here.

user8 WE LOVE OVERPROTECTIVE MAXIE :<< <33

f1

liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55, and 1,230,975 others

f1 our podium for this weekend 🤩

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ynverstappen awh :( i wore ferrari merch but he still won (congrats to carlos tho <3)

maxverstappen1 that's called karma. carlossainz55 muchas gracias hermosa

lewishamilton thanks for not crashing into me @maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 you're walking on thin ice.

landonorris i sprayed you champagne brother in law, can i marry your sister (2) ?

maxverstappen1 no (2) pierregasly since when do you know how to use "(2)" maxverstappen1 i'm not that old.

ynverstappen

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, 90,983,021 others

ynverstappen appreciation post to the first man in my life other than my daddy @josverstappen7 <3

comments are limited

maxverstappen1 that's better, i love you schatje.

ynverstappen love u too maxie <333

ynverstappen

liked by josverstappen7, scuderiaferrari, and 80,645,973 others

ynverstappen back in the uk but with some french guy ><

comments are turned off

TAGLIST

And again if u want to be added u can answer the gform or reply hereee <33

@euphoricchills @charlesleclerx @Inchident-jgp @amethyst-bitch @dr4g0ngirl @likedbygaslyy @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @bibissparkles @lokideservesahug @hiireadstuff @urfavouriteanon @darleneslane @shelbyteller @spookystitchery @justtprachisblog @alliwantisadonut @kika-writes @casperlikej @funnelcakeee @xoscar03 @snapeeballsack @silverxxs-world @thearchieves @destinyg237 @juliee4everial @thebasicbiatch @glossiersworld @aadu2173 @honethatty12 @halleest @janeholt3 @callsignwidow @evie-119 @exotic-iris13 @dark-night-sky-99 @delululeclerc @eiaaasamantha @hrts4scarr @felicityforyou @sya-skies @hockeyboysarehot @iloveyou3000morgan @sugaspawsmari @aymfsts

[pierregazly]

a diamond's gotta shine ꨄ lance stroll smau

lance stroll x fem!reader

pic credit: pinterest

i know lance is daddy's money through and through (and i love a nepo baby sorry), but he is so 'my love language is gift giving so i'm going to spoil my girlfriend with everything i can' boyfriend material so here's that basically

yourusername

liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll, estebanocon, and 467,891 others

yourusername he ALWAYS let me drive the truck... sorry taylor

view all 1,347 comments

lance_stroll it is not a truck and PLEASE stop eating in the aston martin

lance_stroll at least stop eating in it without me

chloestroll wouldn't want a matcha date with anyone else 💗

liked by yourusername and 462 others

username imagine just casually eating fruit in a literal aston martin??? i dont even eat fruit in my car in fear of everything getting sticky 😭

username i want her life so bad

lance_stroll

tagged yourusername

liked by yourusername, chloestroll, fernandoalo_oficial, and 1,206,708 others

lance_stroll spent the last 2 years with her shoes in my hands after nights out, hoping for a hundred more

view all 9,071 comments

yourusername i am SO obsessed with you

yourusername even after 2 years, gonna be obsessed with u forever lance_stroll wouldn't have it any other way

username the toaster and i have a hot date with the bathtub tonight

username the things i would do to have lance stroll hold my shoes in his million dollar hands after a night out :(

username i want someone to love me even half as much as lance loves y/n ugh

chloestroll i taught you well

yourusername

tagged lance_stroll

liked by lance_stroll, yourfriend, estebanocon, and 450,687 others

yourusername all i asked for was a picture, and he decided to give me 2 years of his life and his heart. i'll love you til my lungs give out.

view all 3,491 comments

username all she asked for was a PICTURE 😭 and he gave her his heart 😭 and she'll love him til her lungs give out 😭

username im literally throwing up, sobbing, screaming, dying at this caption

lance_stroll my heart has been yours since the day you blew my breath away

liked by 5,782 users

username i usually hate lovey-dovey couples but these two... girl they got me wanting to be adopted frfr

username im calling it... girlypop's gonna have a ring by year 3 for sure

lance_stroll

liked by yourusername, mickschumacher, chloestroll, and 203,456 others

lance_stroll yeehaw

view all 2,340 comments

username this is such a look... are we sure this man isn't from alberta

yourusername i will save all the horses if it means i get to ride this cowboy

username y/n.... estebanocon there are children on this app

username i was literally waiting for that y/n comment... these two are disgustingly unhinged

yourusername has added a story

liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll, and others

replies

lance_stroll why didn't you post the pic of both of us in the bath :(

yourusername i wasn't trying to traumatize your family my love lance_stroll u posted that you're going to 'ride this cowboy' but a pic of me in the bath is too much?

yourusername

tagged lance_stroll

liked by lance_stroll, scottyjames31, chloestroll, and 102,340 others

yourusername do you think i get to meet emily in paris or am i stuck with lance

view all 1,341 comments

lance_stroll i just bought you that croissant and coffee and this is what i get as thanks????

yourusername i am so obsessed w u im sorry my favourite cowboy 🥺

username this is so wholesome lance is so boyfriend coded im crying

username y/n is literally living her best life ever i want to be her so bad

scottyjames31 i just know all of these photos were taken at least 75 times

yourusername mind ur own business scotty

lance_stroll and yourusername

liked by chloestroll, estebanocon, mickschumacher and 2,304,550 others

lance_stroll watching you walk down the aisle will make me the luckiest man alive

view all 6,789 comments

estebanocon did you pay her to say yes?? congratulations you two 🥂

chloestroll even though i helped plan this entire thing i STILL cried on the phone. so happy for you both!!

username this man bought her like 5k worth of goodies and then put a RING that's probably worth my yearly salary on her finger??? god has chosen his favourite

yourusername im so lucky to be the one you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with. je t'aime 💗

taglist

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @leclerces

i didnt tag anyone that specifically requested in the replies to be tagged for 'to live for the hope of it all' and all its parts (mostly bc idk how taglists work and i dont wanna bother yall), so if you'd like to be on my taglist for everything please send me a quick ask/dm (or u can just reply and say you'd like to be tagged for everything)! thank you for all the love

[luveline]

imagine being giddy while out with the BAU team getting tipsy and talking about your sex life. but the reader is secretly dating hotch, so she stays quite. until one of the girls starts hounding reader about how she said her current partner is the best sex she’s ever had. and hotch just tries to not be a cheeky little shit.

this is not quite what u meant but I hope it's OK! ♥︎ fem!reader

There's a girl across the way. Tall, gorgeous, making eyes at Derek Morgan like her life depends on it. 

"Morgan, come on," Emily says, "I thought you had game. This is just sad." 

Morgan nods agreeably, an action dripping in sarcasm, and downs the rest of his drink. "I got better than game," he says, patting Emily on the arm as he stands. 

"What's better than game?" she asks incredulously, twisting in her seat to follow Morgan's path with her eyes before turning back to you and the others, expression reflecting her disbelief. 

"I should've let him buy me that appletini he promised me," you say, dipping your head toward Hotch on your left, and Rossi on his. "I don't think he's coming back." 

"I'll get it," Hotch says. 

"Always on the boss to pick up the slack," Rossi drawls with a smirk.

Hotch nearly laughs. "Another round. The same for everyone?" 

"I wouldn't mind an appletini, boss," JJ jokes. 

"You know, he'll actually get you one now," Emily says, all of you turned to watch him making his way to the bar. 

Morgan and his gorgeous girl are hitting it off quite clearly halfway down the bar. JJ, who's a little tipsy already, beams at them and wiggles her shoulders. 

"I think somebody's getting lucky," she says. 

"I hate to say it, but I'm jealous of Morgan right now. Don't," Emily says, sliding down into her seat, "tell him I said that." 

"I thought you were steady with that guy," you say sympathetically, "the chiropractor." 

Emily moans out in sadness. "I was. Turns out guys don't like when you cancel four dates in a row. He... was really good at his job." 

Emily might be more intoxicated than you'd thought. You laugh too loudly and think maybe you are, too. 

Hotch approaches from the left with a tray of drinks in hand and you slide your chair out of his way, feeling his "Thank you," warm the back of your neck. 

"Laugh at my pain," Emily says at your giggling.

You shuffle forward to hear her better over the small hubbub of Hotch, Rossi and Reid sorting drinks into place. Penelope appears again from her excursion to the bathroom and slides right into Morgan's empty seat. 

"What about you and mystery man?" Emily asks.

You're less subtle than you should be, your eyes straying to the shadow of Hotch in your peripherals. "What about him?" 

"Is that still going well?"

"It's going more than well," JJ says knowingly, retrieving her appletini with a sweet thanks. "What did you tell me on the way back from Illinois?" 

"I told you that in confidence," you rush to say, to plead, eyes widening. "Tired confidence." 

"What did she say?" Emily asks, her smile turning evil. 

JJ laya back in her seat, almost tipping her drink, and covers her eyebrows with her index finger. Everyone knows immediately that she's imitating you, worse when she puts on a quiet awe. "I didn't know it could be like that. I mean, I didn't realise a man would care so much about making sure I feel good." She fans her face. "And he really cares, JJ." 

"Please don't," you say, covering your face with both hands. You're not truly upset, but it's embarrassing nonetheless. 

"It's sweet!" JJ cries. 

"What? You're having heart to hearts without me?" Penelope asks. 

"It wasn't a heart to heart, Pen, I was just tired, and–" 

"So you didn't mean it?" 

The entire table waits for your answer. You feel Hotch's silence louder than everybody else's, and you're so flustered you don't know what to do. You hadn't counted on letting him in on how happy you are in the bedroom, not this soon. 

"I meant it," you breathe, "but it's not something I wanted to share with everybody." 

"No? You won't want me to tell them about how big his hands are, then," JJ says. 

"JJ," Hotch says, and you can hear his awful smile, "let's not embarrass her too much."

Emily jumps to your defence, and soon the table has turned on JJ completely, jokes about one specific New Orleans accent taking centre stage. 

Hotch slides your appletini closer while they're distracted. "He cares, honey. More than you know." 

You take a shuddering breath. "I know," you say, voice small. 

"You do? So you won't need reminding?" 

"How about you, sir? Things still going well with that younger girl?" Penelope asks, all gossip. 

A big hand lands on your thigh. You still, the heat of his skin seeping down into yours as he inches inward. 

"I'd say things were going well," Hotch says. He punctuates with a secret squeeze. "She might say differently." 

[ddejavvu]

inspired by the break bite bang fic u wrote (?? is that what it was called ?? sorry !!) pleaseee write a spencer x reader where they try it out or penelope recommends it during girls night or SOMETHING... ik you usually dont write for the same plot with different characters but i neeeed it <3

Girl's night is typically only interrupted by a Chinese food delivery, or the pizza boy. But tonight Penelope's buzzer blares through the apartment, then a crackly voice barks, 'Package!'

"Oh!" Penelope rushes to stand, unashamed of her fuzzy pajamas when she wrenches the door open to greet the postman, "Exciting! Thank you!"

The delivery man is off with a mere nod and a smile after handing off Penelope's package, and you peer curiously at the box that she brings back to the table.

"What'd you get?" Emily asks, sipping the last of her wine. JJ goes to refill her glass, and you let her top yours off too.

"They're these-" Penelope realizes what she's about to admit, breaking off with a sheepish chuckle, "They're these chocolates, and they make you- y'know, all hot and bothered and stuff."

"Hot and bothered," JJ frowns, "Like- for sex?"

"Yeah," You nod, recognizing the familiar packaging, "Those work good, Spence and I love 'em."

Your words escape you through the slippery persuasion of wine, but when you realize what you've confessed, your eyes go wide, and your spine stiffens like a tree banded to a support staff.

You've chased unsubs before, you've been in shootouts with serial killers, and yet this is the fastest you've ever seen your teammates move. Emily and JJ whip their heads around to you so fast that you're surprised their necks don't break, and Penelope drops her scissors clean onto the ground where she'd been slitting open the tape on the box.

"Not like-!"

"Oh my god!" Prentiss shrieks, "You're fucking Reid!"

"No!" You deny, but there's really no other explanation for your admission, "I meant- like, uh, we both used them, separately, and we just- we happened to make conversation about it! We're not having sex. With each other. We're not."

"Oh, sure," JJ scoffs, eyes alight with excitement, "Because Reid's idea of casual conversation is sex chocolate."

"You are so busted," Garcia laughs, looking like a kid in a candy store, "So, give us the official review: these things really work?"

You feel sinful reminiscing on what might have been the hottest sex of your life with your boyfriend-slash-coworker in the presence of your other teammates, but you swallow what little saliva is in your mouth, nodding once.

"Yes, they work. Uh- very well, in fact."

[heavenlyraindrops]

Father Forgive Me (For I have Sinned) ~ Teaser ♱

Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Song: Eve by Precious Pepala Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Mature Content (its Hazbin, come on guys) Smut (probably idk yet, I will of course warn before it shows up- if it does)

♱♱♱ You, the most virtuous of angels, the kindest soul that had ever graced the ground of Heaven. The Seraphim adored you, the First Man wanted you- you were everything.

You remembered the way the Seraphim had offered to create a third wife for Adam- you were there. He had stared into your eyes as he spoke, addressing the Seraphim.

“I don’t need you to make a third wife.”

You knew how highly the angels thought of you. Sera had told you repeatedly how you were completely Pure in her Judgement, her eyes sparkling with adoration for your virtue. You just smiled sheepishly and did you best to remain humble, which only made them love you more.

Which is what made your fall from grace so shocking.

♱♱♱

[Sneak Peek]

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you muttered, the words feeling alien in your mouth as you paced your living room. Your mind ran through your earlier interaction with Emily. ♱♱♱

“Emily, what do I do if I want to… repent for something?”

Emily’s eyes flashed with concern. “Why, what did you do?”

You knew what she was thinking. Sweet [name] would never commit a sin. Sweet [name] would never have to repent.

“It was just a little thing, I just felt bad about it, and I want to- to clear my conscience.”

Emily tilted her head, her face relaxing as you assured her it wasn’t a big deal. “Sure then. Sera tells me that there’s a confessional on this street-“

You winced, visibly, and her frown reappeared again. “Or,” she continued more slowly, “you could just say a quick prayer at home. ‘Father forgive me, for I have sinned�� and then say what you did. Please forgive me.’ Sound good enough for you?”

You nodded. “Thank you, Emily.” And watched her as she turned and walked away, eyes fixated unseeingly onto her back as it disappeared.

♱♱♱ You dropped to your knees as the world lurched around you. You felt like you were going to be sick.

Just say it. Just say the words.

“Father…” Your voice cracked and you trailed off. You glanced out the window, before sitting up properly and tracing the shapes of the clouds againts the glass. How could you say the prayer when you knew, that whatever had happened, you didn’t regret it?

The hollowing pit of despair in your gut only grew deeper as you thought. What would the Seraphim say? You gulped.

You closed your eyes. You couldn’t keep them closed for long- the image of Lucifer was seared across the back of your eyelids. It didn’t matter. The feel of his hand was printed on your wrist. On your waist. The warmth of his lips on yours still lingered. His eyes. Why did he have to be so beautiful? You shuddered.

You knew that you could just forget this, bury it, never visit Lucifer during the exterminations again and continue your life as an angel. But you knew, at the same time, that he was too unforgettable, and it would only be a matter of time before someone found out if you continued- because you could never, ever stop.

“Father forgive me, for I have sinned,” you forced the words out, voice shaking. “I have fallen in love with the Devil.”

♱♱♱

A/N: Stay tuned guys!

Note: if u want to be added to the taglist then just lmk!

Update: Chapter One is now up!

[charlottecutepie]

hi Lizzy, sorry to bother you but can I request for a Henry X reader? My man lacks content about him :(( it can be about anything I don't mindd

⋆୨♡୧⋆ Henry Emily x fem!reader smut blurb

author note: thank u for this request love! don't know why but breeding kink + size kink is henry, also him having a dad bod is canon for me. also important: the way i imagine henry is by @kcokaine_ on twitter

tags: nsfw, smut, vaginal sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, praise, size kink, softdom!henry, jealous!henry, but he tries to hide it, william is an asshole, public sex, breeding kink, missionary, established relationship, Henry’s dilf bc i said so

William has no shame, Henry realized that a long time ago. Especially when he found out that William was cheating on his wife. William doesn't have a shred of damn shame when he lets himself touch you. When he literally fucks you with his eyes. When he tries to give you fucking compliments. Henry rarely experiences such feelings of anger and jealousy. Henry hates himself for his gentle nature and for not being able to punch his friend right into his face. Especially when the pizzeria hall is full of children and their parents as they have no idea what a disgusting asshole William is.

Of course, Henry could have waited until he got home and made love to you there, fucking you so good that you'd have forgotten William's name. But there's always a but. Today Henry wants William to know that you don't need anyone's else's cock but his.

When Henry warned you that his hands were big enough, you just laughed and softly pushed him into his broad chest, that was a joke, right?

But you're not laughing when you feel how true his words turned out to be. Not just the hands, but in fact the whole Henry. His physique is far from athletic, this man isn’t so young anymore and doesn't really keeps his figure, but damn, these muscles that reminds so much of his youth, dad bod, wide shoulders and his damn tall height, you're nearly whining. Now you realise what he was talking about (or warning?), there's only one of his fingers inside you, but it feels like all three. You're wet, incredibly horny and dripping, but it doesn't make it any easier. Henry looks into your eyes, and then his gaze falls on your pussy taking his finger. He frowns, he doesn't want to take out his anger and jealousy on you at all, he just can't do this to you, he loves you too much, so he tries to do everything gently and slowly.

“Kiss me,” you whisper to him, your eyes filled with nothing but desire. Henry looks up at you and then crushes his lips on yours, as if he's been waiting for these words all his life. He kisses you softly and sensually, with all his love and affection he have for you, for his girl. Without taking his mouth off yours, he adds another finger and you pull away to make a loud moan, but Henry literally shuts you up with his palm.

“Remember you can't be loud, sweetheart,” he murmurs, kissing your forehead as he thrusts his large fingers in and out of your soaked cunt. “you can take it.” his low and dominant, but soft tone as he speaks quietly only arouses you more.

You desperately nod and he puts his hand off you, now holding one of your legs open to prevent you from closing them. All this time he stares into your eyes, watching your face and reaction. His thick digits stretch you open just good, making you shiver. Henry curls them slightly, rubbing against your soft spots until you moan, pressing yourself against his hand shamelessly. “Henryyy—” you whine, your pussy clenches around his finger, so fucking wet and responsive.

“Goddamn,” he whispers, pulling his finger out with a wet sound and rubs your swollen clit. You moan again, arching your hips towards him, begging for more contact. “need to taste you, princess.” he says raspingly, pressing his finger on your little bud.

He kisses the inside of your thigh softly, making his way slowly towards your core. You whimper as you feel his tongue on your clit, your legs twitch in pleasure. Henry holds you firmly as he eats you out, he's kissing and circling your sensitive bundle with his tongue. It feels too divine, too fucking good and you can't hold your loud noises, biting your own hand. “Ohh, please—” you cry out as he buries his face deeper into your needy pussy.

You're trembling as your hand grips the edge of the desk tightly, mouth open as you pant heavily, trying your best not to scream. He greedily laps at your slit, sliding his tongue all over your aching hole as it clenches around nothing, but Henry makes sure to fill it with his finger and it makes you see stars. He hums into your pussy, sucking on your clit and thrusting his finger in and out of you. You arch and shiver pathetically, your brows furrowed as your face confronted in pure bliss. Henry fingers you slowly, making sure to prepare and stretch you out perfectly for his cock. Every lick sends ripples of sensation throughout your core, he knows damn well how to make his girl feel good.

“Tha-that feels so good, anngh. . .” you bite your lower lip till nearly blood as Henry makes out with your pussy, so fucking messy, but he looks like he's too drunk to care about you trying to push his head away from overwhelming pleasure. “waittt!” you feel so close, especially when he finger fucks you so slow and gently while pleasuring you with his tongue. “'m gonna cum, Hen—. . . Fuck!” Henry groans, pulling away only for some seconds just to spit on your sloppy cunt before attacking it with kisses again. You taste too sweet.

“Cum on my face, sweetheart,” he murmurs, incoherent as he never really stops eating you out. “be my good girl.” for a moment he flashes you a small smile and you almost whine from how hot he looks, his chin cowered in your slick and hair messy. You smile weakly in return and when he thrusts his finger deeper adding to that sloppy lick on your clit, you feel your orgasm approach you. You moan and you don't give a fuck how loud that sounds, but in secret Henry is damn happy as you let that fucking William know how good your man makes you feel.

Your head spinning as you breathe heavily, chest rising up and down when Henry looks at you with drunk face expression. He stands up and takes your face into his hands, giving you more possessive than soft kiss now, letting you taste yourself. That's filthy, too much, Henry isn't like that in other people's eyes. Only for you.

He trails his kisses down your neck and finally reaches your breasts, he kisses both, touch them and fondle them and groans at how perfectly they look in his big hands. Henry sucks on your nipples, all this time fucking your dripping pussy with his fingers, never wanting to hurt you with his size, he knows you're a big girl and you'll take him, but he prefers to avoid any kind of pain. He tries to relax you to maximum. But what he doesn't know is that you're already too needy and hungry for him, wanting something more than just his fingers.

“My sweet girl.” he calls you while he holds you by the waist and slides his cock all over your hole, his head full of thoughts of these freak stares William gave you this evening. He's soft and sweet with you, reminding you of a fluffy teddy bear, but what happens inside his head and how blood boils in his veins from insane jealousy - that's what you don't see and Henry thinks it's for the best, he'll never show that side to you. “so wet for me, want to feel that cock stretching this tiny pussy?” he literally goes feral at the thought of his cock filling you.

“Please, Henry, i need you,” you look into his eyes and your pathetic sight does something to him. Henry gets himself comfortable between your legs, he caresses your cheek as he can't stop looking at how pretty his leaking tip looks rubbing on your clit. He knows he must be gentle and he tries his fucking best.

Henry starts sliding inside you, all this time holding your waist and watching your face for any signs of pain. “Doing so well for me, sweetheart, just like that.” your eyes widen at unexpected feeling, it's not like you two never had sex, but every time he's inside it feels like new. You think you'll never get used to his size. You look at his dick filling you and your pussy clenches down around him as he buries himself deep inside you. Closing your eyes, you try to accommodate to that thickness inside you but not when you feel his thumb making its way to your nub. Henry rubs his thumb in slow, circular motions on your swollen clit as he continues filling your tight cunt. You moan softly beneath him; reaching to lay your hand on his, which working on your clit, while letting out a contented sigh. You two fall into a slow rhythm, each thrust drawing you deeper into your passion.

“Auhh— your so deep inside of me,” you throw your head back, whimpering loudly as every inch of Henry stretches your soppy pussy. Henry thrusts a little bit harder and your breasts bounce slightly which seems like a sweet invitation to him. He presses his lips to your nipple and pulls it, and then licks and sucks, groaning how good you feel.

“This little pussy taking me so well, you're such a good girl, honey,” Henry mutters as he starts thrusting a bit faster.

You throw your leg around him, pulling him deeper into yourself as you cry out for more; wanting to feel every inch and vein of his cock. He hides his face in your chest as he groans at your warmness and wetness around him, your juices making the most beautiful wet sounds as your bodies slap against each other.

“You feel so—” you choke on your own moans as Henry pumps his thick cock faster, you feel him twitching and throbbing inside of you. “awhhh fuck!”

“Just like that, princess,” his lips finds yours in hot kiss again, your eyes flutter closed. “look at you, taking me so well, all pretty and full of my cock. That's where your meant to be, honey, under your man, ughhh, being fucked nice and good. This little pussy, ogghh fuck!” his voice breaks into a loud moan when your cunt tightens once again at his dirty words. “this little pussy belongs to me.”

Your lovely eyes filled with sweet tears of pleasure. “love you, i— awhh, i love you, daddy!” Henry is used to you calling him that when you fuck, although you rarely do because you're still shy. But what you don't know is what effect that word has on him. He's literally going insane, and thank god Henry knows how to control himself, otherwise your pussy would be absolutely ruined right now. Henry doesn't know what he found in that word. Apparently, it still awakens something in him. No, of course, he loves his daughter very much, the only one, he cherishes her. Whenever he sees how much you care about her, he gets some. . . obsessive thoughts. But it feels so fucking right; the idea of expanding your family, watching you blossom into a mother. Would he like to give Charlie a brother or a sister?

Would he like to make you a mom?

Henry gets so lost in his dreams and fantasies that he doesn't even notice his crazy pace and your hot tears streaming down your cheeks, you look so beautiful it drives him crazy. You wrap your hands around his neck and bring his face closer, kissing him again. Kissing him like it's the last time. You hold him close to you and when Henry pulls away to moan again because of how amazing you feel, you press your lips against his forehead and give him soft kisses, asking him to go harder on you. Henry doesn't listen to you, you don't know what you're asking for. If he'll go harder on you. . . Henry sighs, slowing his thrusts. You don't wanna know what'll happen.

Your tight soft walls grip his cock as he bullies your insides, his hand moves down again and he circles your clit nicely and gentle. You rock your hips back and forth faster, desperate to cum, to feel him finishing inside you. Because Henry always pulled out before. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as his tip reaches your cervix and you feel close, so fucking close especially with how he stimulates you using his fingers, rubbing and flicking your little clit. “dont p-pull out,” your tone nearly sounds like an order as you feel Henry ready to pull out. He freezes in place and looks at you, breathing heavily, confusion on his face. “want you to cum inside—” you barely finish your words as he plunges deep inside your pussy much rougher and harder than before, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

If he'll cum inside you, if he’ll get you pregnant, William will definitely notice it. He'll see that you're carrying Henry's baby under your heart. Henry thinks, what will be the reaction of everyone's beloved Mr. Afton? Anger, jealousy? Perhaps envy? William has such an envious nature. Henry's smiling, William has always been jealous of him. Henry have the best daughter in the world, the best girlfriend- almost a wife? Henry always takes the best.

“I'm close, sweetheart,” he tells you, his cock sinking deeper inside you and his fingers dug into the plush of your thighs, his thrusts messy, meanwhile you squirm and moan underneath him.

“Breed me— Ahhng, Henry, breed me!” you beg him and and that's the end for him, Henry fucking whimpers. His eyes squeezed shut, his body shaking and he can't control his loud groans as he spills deep inside of you. It feels too good to stop thrusting inside your cunt as he overstimulates both of you, you cumming on his cock while he fills you up, pumping you full of his cum. You grab on him when he pulls out a little. Watching his cum drip out of your little hole, he sighs and fucks it back in, not wanting any drop of him to ooze out of you.

“You're such a good girl, princess. . .” he whispers, kissing your nipples and holding you in his big hands. If Henry was a dirty pervert like William, he'd send you to William right now so he could fucking see his best friend's cum trickling down the inner side of your thighs. But Henry isn't like William and there's no way he'd do that to you. Probably only in his dirtiest and darkest fantasies.

[blackest-soul]

A Short Girl’s Guide to Working at the BAU

I. Dealing with Morgan

Derek: How short are you?

Y/N: you mean how tall?

Derek: no, how short??? You can barely reach my shoulders!

Y/N, in a soft voice: not my fault i got the southeast asian genes and you are very aware that im only 4’9 so shut up ok.

Derek: fine fine fine. So, just out of curiosity…hmm can i, well, can i use you as a hand rest coz u are the perfect height!!!

Y/N: do that and you will die

II. Emily and her unwanted maternal instinct

*Y/N, walking around the bullpen without her ID, in a backpack*

Concerned Agent: hey, hey kid. Are you lost? Where’s your guardian? You cant just go walking around here…

Y/N, spotting Emily and pointing at her: Don’t worry, Agent. There’s my mom. I’ll just go and talk to her.

Concerned Agent: huh, didn’t know she has a child. Wait let me call her for you. SSA Prentiss!! Your daughter is here!!!!

Emily: WTF ARE YOU ON ABOUT?

Emily, seeing Y/N: STOP CALLING ME YOUR MOTHER YOU ARE 25 ffs!!!! WE DONT EVEN LOOK SIMILAR!!!

Y/N: not my fault he can’t remember me.

Y/N: so mom, what’s for lunch?

Emily: i packed you an extra sandwich. You should eat more.

Also, Emily: why the fuck am i mothering you!?? I can’t even take care of myself

III. A tired singlefather!Hotch

Hotch, reprimanding Y/N for all her choices in life: … and lastly, stop eating expired and dirty food! I saw you eating your sandwich after you dropped on the floor for lunch!!!! Am i not giving you enough allowance?

Y/N: the food barely touched the floor!!! Besides germs wait for the five second rule so i am going to be fine. And what allowance???!!!??

Hotch: you are giving me a migraine. Shut up and let me process the words that just came out of your mouth

Y/N: really???? maybe you should start eating dropped sandwiches more coz i do not get migraines

Hotch: one more sound and you will be grounded

Y/N: as if!!! What are you gonna do?

Hotch: no phone

Y/N: we need phones for work

Hotch: no internet for a week

Y/N: try again, I work with Penny.

*Reid, walking by to get another coffee*

Hotch: No Reid

Y/N: NO REEIIDD!!!!

Hotch: YES! NO REIDD

Y/N: you cant just do that!!!

Hotch: YES I CAN!!! NO REID TIL COLLEGE, YOUNG WOMAN!!

Y/N: TIL COLLEGE!!!!!!!! Rossi will hear about this

A few moments later

Reid, to Hotch: hey Hotch, can Y/N and I hang out later? I wanna invite her to watch a movie with me.

Hotch: No.

Reid: what do you mean NO.

Hotch: She’s grounded. NO REID TIL COLLEGE.

Reid: she has two PhDs already.

Hotch, unblinking: NO. REID. TIL COLLEGE.

IV. Rossi and the granddaughter he never asked for but clearly loves

Rossi: so tell me what ails you, bambino.

Y/N, pouting and whining: Hotch *hiccups* grounded *hiccups* me. He said *hiccups* I cannot see Reid. Til college *wails, while dramatically throwing herself to the sofa*

Rossi: don’t you cry now, cara. I will talk to your father about this. Here’s $100. Go buy yourself something nice for your date with Reid.

Y/N: it is not a date, nonno. Just a movie.

Rossi: Regardless, take it. I will talk to, Hotch.

V. Reid and his never ending explanations of “yes she is my girlfriend. no i am not a pedophile, we met when she’s 25. yes i am sure she is 25. And no i am not dating a high schooler”

*Reid and Y/N, finally on their movie date.*

Bouncer: hey young lady. Do you know this man?

Y/N: oh yes, sir. He is my boyfriend. If you will excuse us, we need to catch a movie.

Bouncer, suspiciously looking at Reid

Reid: SHE IS 25!!!!

Bouncer, suspicious stare intensifies

Reid: she is just short please we are adults

Bouncer:

Reid:

Y/N:

Y/N: here is my ID, sir. We work for the FBI. I am Asian and just really short.

Bouncer: oh okay. Sorry. You can never be sure these days.

Reid: thank you for looking out for other people, though

Bouncer, suspicious stare:

Reid, whispers: wtf

[luffysinterlude]

REMEMBER WHEN. . .

★ summary: the straw hat pirates reminisce on some fun memories while voyaging through the Grand Line.

★ warnings: chatroom au/comedic relief, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, takes place after water seven/pre thriller bark, ooc characters, use of yn + female reader in mind, flirty!yn + the crew teases yn a bit ><, zoro x reader…kinda..im biased im sorry 😞 + some things are NOT canon and i just made it up :p

★ an: hiii!! there is not enough one piece fanfic content on this app in my opinion (i feel like i’ve read almost every piece, all have been amazing), so here’s my attempt at making more!! also, i’m still pretty new to the op fandom, so some characters may be a little ooc. i’m still reading/watching thriller bark so pls bare with me! also this is a chatroom au because i don’t have access to social app anymore *cry*. anyway, please enjoy!

NOW ONLINE [9]. . .

yn: SIGHHHHHHHHHH

robin: is everything okay, yn?

chopper: yeah yn, is everything okay?

zoro: probably not

yn: just thinking

usopp: thinking about where we’ll be next? praying manifesting it isnt anywhere scary

chopper: everywhere we’ve been has been terrifying

nami: yeah usopp

nami: its like we goto hell, leave it, and then enter another part of it

nami: i think we should just start expecting the worst

zoro: maybe we should all just get a lil more stronger. starting with the blonde pervert we have as our cook

sanji: I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING YET

sanji: AND YOURE THE ONE TO TALK!

sanji: MUST I REMIND YOU THAT I LITERALLLLY JUST SAVED YOU AND USOPP AT THAT TOWER

luffy: oooooo thinking about what? tell me tell me tell me!

sanji: now, my dearest yn, please let me know if theres anyway i can assist you

zoro: she probably doesn’t want your help lmfao no offense

sanji: WHOOOO was even talking to you? I SAID YN’S NAME IN THE TEXT DAMMIT

nami: can you two idiots cut it out already? its like, i can hear your voices through my screen and i don’t like that

franky: yeah it’s actually kinda crazy i can hear you all…without actually being in your presence

chopper: soooo yn?

luffy: yeah yn what’s going on?

yn: just sitting here thinking about all of our fun adventures. like wow we actually did all of that and it was like…real life

yn: i feel like if i didnt know you guys and didn’t experience it then it wouldn’t sound real

yn: but like wow it was all real

robin: we’ve had some wild times, haven’t we?

luffy: LOL yeah that might’ve been on me

luffy: but we’ve survived this long

luffy: we’ll continue to survive because fate loves us!

nami: -.-

sanji: luffy’s right, surprisingly

sanji: sometimes i think about how fate brought us together…or atleast i think about how fate brought me nami yn and robin together

yn: watch it pretty boy

sanji: YES MA’AM

sanji: screenshotting

zoro: ignoring that dude. i think it’s amazing how we prevail every time. we get stronger without realizing

yn: i mean we did fly into the sky

yn: thats so crazy we actually like. flew. in the air. on a ship.

nami: yeah all thanks to me ;*

yn: thank u pretty i remember falling in love with you then and there

franky: WHAT THE HELL

franky: YOU GUYS FLEW IN THE AIR WITH MERRY?!

usopp: HELL YEAH MERRY FLEWWW

usopp: FRANKY YOU SHOULDVE SEEN IT

usopp: there was this gigantic whirlpool below us and everything

chopper: haha yeah that was crazy! and those giant monkeys

robin: oh! yes, the saruyama alliance. i could never forget the amount of fun i had during our time on Jaya Island

yn: robin i love u but FUNNNNNN???-?-?-!-? DID WE FORGET ABOUT THAT STUPID FOREST CRICKET HAD US GO INTO?!1? i still have nightmares of that stupid south bird and its stupid face and the way it made all those stupid bugs chase me

luffy: haha those south birds were really something else

nami: it’s funny because we had no idea what was coming next

zoro: that stupid “God” was next. what was his name again? emily? enemy….?

zoro: well shit i’ve forgot. it was somethin else though. his stupid lightning

franky: BROTHER WHAT

franky: YOU GUYS FOUGHT….A GOD?!?!1???!!!?

franky: was it like….you know…..THE GOD

chopper: not really sure what you mean but that guy enel really had some sort of crazy insane powers

chopper: him and his crazy insane priests were able to predict our moves!

robin: oh yeah. he electrocuted zoro, yn, and i.

yn: pls dont remind me TT

yn: he scares me because i feel like he somehow is still alive

yn: like what if hes reading our messages

nami: i never thought of it like that…

nami: enel if ur reading this please drop 1,000,000,000 berries down from the sky

luffy: i wish the skypeians and shandians rang the bell more often.

luffy: haha oh well! i know they’re doing just fine! :D

usopp: well thanks to yn now i’m reminscing TT

usopp: it feels like alabasta JUST happened

robin: well, we did just face the world government

robin: technically crocodile was apart of it

usopp: YEAH AND YOU WERE HIS ASSISTANT OR WHATEVER

robin: that’s the past. i had to do what i needed to do to survive. and i’m glad i was, considering i was able to find you all <3

yn: ROBINNNNNNN TT

nami: ROBINNNNN

sanji: robin i wouldve followed you to hades’ kingdom if i had to. i will always protect you (and nami and yn. the others can fend for themselves).

luffy: hahahaha i agree!! see, fate loves us

chopper: WE LOVE U ROBIN

franky: YEAH! WE LOVE SISTER ROBIN!

zoro: appreciate ya.

usopp: YEAAAA WE LOVE ROBIN!

yn: shoutout to us

yn: i love us

yn: i love being a strawhat

chopper: same!!! forever and always gonna be a strawhat!!

luffy: i love our little family!

luffy: without you all, i wouldn’t be as close as i am to reaching my dream! so thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luffy: also sanji when is dinner gonna be ready so i know when to head back to the sunny

nami: same

nami: now i’m really reminiscing. do you guys remember when yn thought she was pregnant

usopp: i-

usopp: …

yn: NAMI

yn: alright well.

sanji: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TT

sanji: also luffy dinner will be ready when its dinner time. its mid day. if you’re hungry i have snacks in the fridge or since you’re running around this island, find a food stand

sanji: BUT WHATTTTTT DID NAMI JUST SAY

chopper: HUUUUUUUUUUUUH

robin: what a naughty girl you are, nami. teasing yn about her “almost” pregnancy

nami: yk me! but i remember being soooooo worried only for the pregnancy test to come back negative

zoro: yn?

franky: LITTLE SIS YN…DOES THE DEED….BUT SHE LOOKS SO INNOCENT

luffy: oh wow cool sanji thanks!

luffy: also congrats yn? but where will the baby stay?

usopp: did you even read nami’s text

luffy: oh..right LOL that’s good! i can’t imagine yn having a baby. plus how are babies even made

chopper: :o

nami: …

robin: your innocence is apart of my will to live

yn: luffy TT

sanji: THROUGH LOVE! BABIES ARE MADE THROUGH LOVE!!!

luffy: oh sickkkkkk do you guys think we can make one?

yn: oh luffy TT

nami: well!

sanji: he’ll come around

luffy: LOL BRB

LUFFY has gone offline.

chopper: wonder what he’s up to

yn: probably found food like sanji told him to

zoro: yeah he kind of left the store we’re at and i have no desire to look for him right now

zoro: oh nevermind. he just went outside to buy meat from a vendor. he’s good, still in my eyesight

chopper: also

chopper: YN WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

yn: chopper >< you were still fairly new to the crew then

yn: but this happened after we left chopper’s hometown

yn: i think i was just sick because of the crazy weather changes, plus nami has just recovered and didn’t want anyone to be worried sick :p

zoro: why didnt you tell me?

zoro: you’re apart of the crew too, ya know.

usopp: interesting

sanji: you stupid ass MOSSHEAD WHY WOULD SHE TELL YOU HER BUSINESS

nami: sigh

nami: its like the most obvious thing ever

robin: i’m afraid it just isn’t clicking for him.

yn: it’s not like i didn’t wanna tell you

zoro: okay so why didn’t you

sanji: WATCH HOW YOU SPEAK TO HER DUMBASS!

yn: LMFAOOO I REMEMBER WHY I DIDNT TELL YOU

yn: YOU GOT LOST AS SOON AS WE GOT TO ALABASTA

yn: and by time i found you, i had already forgotten that i thought i was pregnant because there was a whole warlord wanting us dead so

zoro: hmm. okay. well next time..

sanji: YOU DIDNT HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM YN YOURE BETTER THAN HIM IN EVERY WAY

zoro: if you ever need a safe space. you know.

yn: hehe yes i do. but i apologize for not telling you as soon as i felt…different. it’s just that we’ll always have bigger issues to worry about

franky: ummmm are we interrupting something

zoro: hm

zoro: nah. yn and i will talk later when we see each other.

zoro: for now i’m thinkin about that time luffy and i got beat up on jaya island. now i’m annoyed.

zoro: the principle of the matter was good but i really just had to sit there and take an ass beating when i could’ve handled the entire bar

zoro: ehhhh now i’m gonna go workout. if anyone needs me you know where to find me.

ZORO has gone offline.

yn: he left saying “you know where to find me” as if we’ll actually know

robin: i really hope he finds his way back to the sunny.

sanji: he can get lost for all i care

yn: it’s crazy that i really thought i was pregnant that one time

yn: even vivi thought so

nami: i was super worried

nami: so worried i was reading every book we had to find anything i could help you with

usopp: well i’m offended cause why didn’t you tell me i thought we were besties

yn: wellllllllll no offense but full offense, you have “i-can’t-seem-to-keep-my-mouth-shut” disease

yn: just yappin all day everyday

franky: so, sister yn, zoro huh?

sanji: DONT OFFEND HER LIKE THAT YOU IDIOT!

usopp: HEYYYYY!!!!! I WOULDVE KEPT A SECRET

sanji: yn my loveeeeee you know you could always tell me your secrets

yn: i cant lie i almost let it slip when i helped you with dinner that night

yn: but again, bigger fish to fry

sanji: screenshotted again

sanji: did you guys see that? shes flirting with me. might die

robin: hm not sure what part of that was flirting but whatever makes you happy.

nami: oooo franky’s quick

franky: it isn’t hard to tell

chopper: what’re you all talking about!!?

yn: nothing important you little cute doctor

chopper: >~< SHUT UP! >~< THAT DOESNT WORK ON ME!!

sanji: robin! nami! yn!!!! i will be going offline to go back to the sunny to make some snacks. would you ladies do me the pleasure of enjoying them? should they be ready before you all arrive?

robin: please do! surprise us this time :)

yn: hell yea sanji you know i’d never say no to you

nami: lol yes please! i’m kind of craving something sweet

sanji: OFF TO THE KITCHEN I GO!! GIVE ME AN HOUR!!

SANJI has gone offline.

yn: well now that those three are gone

yn: i worry about them a lot

yn: i feel like those three find trouble every where we go

chopper: same but we’re all like, insanely strong now!

chopper: and it’s not like we’re actively looking for trouble, sometimes we just want to chill

nami: yeah. but now, more than ever, i feel more secure

nami: like wow he’s really gonna be king of the pirates

yn: most definitely. we only ever get stronger

usopp: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa obviously i’ve had my doubts but…

usopp: it’s never been because of luffy

robin: ever since i met you guys again on alabasta…

robin: i knew you all would give me a life worth living

yn: robin’s so sweet online it makes me want to cry

yn: well shes always sweet

franky: SISTER ROBIN TT

nami: robin, i’m curious. how did you find our ship?

robin: well it was just docked and i figured i’d finally take a rest somewhere. if you all hadn’t left alabasta by time i had woken up, then i wouldn’t have stayed. like luffy says, fate loves us.

franky: WHAAAAAT you just…..snuck on? O.O

chopper: oh yeah i remember!

chopper: i’m not gonna lie, i was a little intimidated by you at first

yn: OH HOW COULD I FORGETTTTTTTTT

yn: chopper wasn’t there when we first met robin!

nami: oh yeah!

yn: franky chopper omg like have i ever told the story of how i first fell in love with robin

usopp: OH YEAH she blew that guy’s ship up

usopp: i wonder how vivi’s doing

nami: VIVI TT i hope she’s okay

nami: but yeah i agree. i was scared shitless of robin but then she told me she got me treasure

franky: WOAH ROBIN BLEW SOMEONES SHIP UP?

robin: not entirely. he survived and thats what matters

franky: i mean i guess

franky: i was definitely intimidated by luffy when we first met. even though that was like three weeks ago

franky: i can’t lie he still sometimes intimidates me

yn: brother ur half machine

franky: YEAH BUT MOSTLY HUMAN!!!

franky: anyway sisters. you guys have to tell me more stories at dinner later i have to go refill the coke tanks, see ya!

FRANKY has gone offline.

usopp: well chat

usopp: i usually help him so i’ll be going back too

usopp: yn i’m expecting way more details later after dinner

usopp: or zoro. but preferably before you see zoro

chopper: i’ll help! girls if you need me for anything i’ll be with those two!!

yn: um…okay…? we’ll see u all later!!!

USOPP has gone offline.

CHOPPER has gone offline.

nami: and now it’s just us three

nami: sorry for bringing your pregnancy scare up

nami: i’m getting my nails done right now and i can’t really seem to remember our journeys

yn: its all good

yn: i kinda forgot about it

robin: we’ve been through so much our brains probably started to black out any unwanted memories. i’ve read that it happens

robin: and yn, i don’t blame you. i would’ve been worried sick if i was apart of the crew then. but since it’s just us…

yn: omg let us catch you up

yn: so basically..i had…with…and then…

nami: —.—

nami: she had sex with someone *cough* zoro *cough* and started puking the next morning

yn: NAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

yn: TT

nami: i definitely thought it was pregnancy

robin: silly girls. you do realize pregnancy symptoms don’t happen overnight, right?

robin: also, yn. it’s obvious. i’ve seen the way you two are always the first ones missing during our celebrations

nami: well……..yeah but

nami: we can never be TOO safe

yn: mmm if you hadn’t caught on by now then i’d be surprised

yn: i was still scared

yn: i think it was more of a “wow me and zoro actually did that and it was real”

nami: it’s just….in a forest?!-?

nami: with…HIM!!!-?-?-?-??

nami: you can have any man or woman or creature you want and you stillllllllll………….

yn: i was running on adrenaline. that dude and his stupid ass candle wax drove me insane

yn: plus you both know i kinda have a little crush on the guy

yn: i can fix him

nami: okayyyyyy whatever you say.

nami: pfttt “little” and you guys are basically dating in my head

robin: i forgot his actual name but i’m assuming you guys are talking about mr. 3

robin: ah yes his wax is quite the problem. i wonder if hes alive still

nami: i was seriously stressed out

nami: but honestly, since we’re on the topic, i’m glad i joined luffy

nami: there was this one time, yn i’m sure you remember

nami: right before going to the baratie

yn: the day we went to the baratie TT

yn: but what happened before i kinda forgot

nami: WHY’RE YOU ALWAYS FORGETTING THINGS

nami: anyway when we ran into your crazy psycho ex

yn: OMG

yn: AND HE THREATENED LUFFY

yn: AND THEN LUFFY THREW HIM INTO THE OCEAN TT

robin: oh? tell me more about this ex of yours. i’m interested

yn: he kinda followed us after luffy saved me from HIM

yn: um so basically..you know my devil fruit powers…yeah he held them over my head and threatened to tell the marines about me and

nami: it was chaos. but it was the first time i’ve seen yn in combat and it was mind blowing

robin: luffy being our life saver and our little brother

robin: what would we do without him

yn: you’re right

yn: but i think at this point, we’re all strong enough to handle our own. if i ever see my ex again i’ll beat him so bad

nami: yeah me too! cause he had the crazy audacity to ask me out after i found out what he did to you!

nami: either way, i’m just happy we’re still all together. you know since we’ve been throwing the word fate around, i’m really starting to believe it. luffy has a really good sense of knowing who should join our crew

yn: he does :’)

yn: he gave me a family

robin: well we should probably go check on the boys now. i’ll meet you all at the sunny <3

robin: come back safely.

nami: yeah!! you too robin! yn, bring us some goodies! i’ll see you both later!!

yn: I LOVE YOU GUYS BE SAFE ILL SEE YOU SOON

yn: can’t wait to see u guys again

nami: ….you saw us this morning.

ROBIN has gone offline.

NAMI has gone offline.

YN has gone offline.

CHATROOM IS NOW CLOSED [0].

NOW ONLINE [1]. . .

LUFFY is now online.

luffy: HEY GUYSSSSSSS

luffy: IM BACK

luffy: i ate some meat and came back to the shop we were at but zoro isnt here anymore so i’m wondering if you guys happen to know where he is!

luffy: ….

luffy: oh the chatroom closed

luffy: well i guess i better get back to the sunny!

luffy: hopefully my friends make it back safely! we still have more adventures to take care of

luffy: wow these things are so cool i’m just talking to myself

luffy: i wonder if i can get one on the sunny…

luffy: OH WELL

LUFFY has gone offline.

CHATROOM IS NOW CLOSED [0].

★ an [2]: ahhh!! my first work is now done ☺️ honestly this was all self indulgent because i’ve been going through some personal things and right now the strawhats are my comfort zone. i decided to make it like a big groupchat because i don’t really have any friends irl or online so this makes me feel a lil better ☺️! i hope you all enjoyed.

its a lil messy because when i first started this i was about to began Thriller Bark but as I’m typing this I’m currently on the Sabaody Archipelago arc and things are getting more exciting like omg hello mr. Trafalgar Law I’ve been waiting for your debut….

if you enjoyed this please like and reblog! maybe i’ll start writing more drabbles idk. it used to be my thing when i was still using @/krazykento and jjk used to be my comfort zone. also, if you want to be friends please don’t be shy to say anything! i’d love to make new friends!!

[littleprincerianne]

could you maybe do an Emily (from hazbin hotel) regressor board? I love your boards a lot, I think they look super cute :3

yes, yes i could (loved this request thank u cuz oml em is the sort of dopamine i need to keep my faith in life and humanity)

[elliespassagerprincess]

i love emily im sorry soo much,, do you think u could please write an ellie x reader based on the song night shift by lucy dacus?? i think is a good song to make a fic <3

night shift - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! thank you sm for the compliment! And yes it's literally is an amazing song for a angst fic! I hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Night shift by Lucy Dacus, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:)

Warnings: sadness and cheating

Summary: In which you were the other women

wc: 1.8k + the lyrics

The first time I tasted somebody else's spit, I had a coughing fit

I mistakenly called them by your name

I was let down, it wasn't the same

I'm doing fine, trying to derail my one-track mind

Regaining my self-worth in record time

But I can't help but think of your other in the bed that was mine

The day Ellie Williams asked you out was truly the best day of your life.

It all started with small smiles, gentle touches and loving gazes. You knew from the first day you laid eyes on Ellie, that you wanted to be with her. And never in a million dreams did you think that you stood a chance with someone as beautiful such as Ellie.

You didn't regret asking her for her number. You didn't regret saying yes when she asked you on a date that day. But the more you think about it, the more realized maybe you should’ve said no.

"Hi I'm Ellie’s girlfriend, is she here today?" The girl asked with a smile on her face.

 oh.

Girlfriend?

Ellie was never mentioned anything about a girlfriend to you.

Fuck.

"Oh hey Cat" you heard Ellie’s voice from behind you. You turned around and you and the autumn brown haired girl made eye contact.

Ellie’s eyes widened when she saw you were talking to Cat, but her shock was soon replaced by her signature smirk.

"Hi babe" Cat greeted Ellie cheerfully "can we talk?" She asked. Ellie gave her a quick nod as she walked out from behind the counter. As Ellie and cat walked away she reached down to grab the girls hand and if felt like you've been stabbed.

You quickly excused yourself and you ran down the hall in the storage room where you and Ellie would always meet each other.

Holy shit.

She had a girlfriend? What? You thought she liked you?

You and Ellie were never official, but you went on dates. You held hands. You kissed her for fucks sake. You were the other women. Ellie didn't care for you as much as you thought. She was using you.

You heard the door handle of the storage room rattle. You looked up and you quickly wiped away your tears: "Ellie?" You questioned, with a hopeful voice.

"No it's me!" You heard Dina’s voice yelled back. "Ellie went home with her girlfriend so you'll have to take her shift"

You let out a sigh as you felt the tears flow freely once again.

 You were supposed to be mad at her. You were supposed to hate her. But you called out for her? You would never admit it out loud but you were actually waiting for her. You were waiting for Ellie to come and apologize and to say that this was all a misunderstanding.  You silently sat there crying.

 You were the other women.

Am I a masochist, resisting urges to punch you in the teeth?

Call you a bitch and leave?

Why did I come here? To sit and watch you stare at your feet?

What was the plan? Absolve your guilt and shake hands?

If you truly hated Ellie like you claimed you did, you wouldn't have opened your apartment door that night.

That one faithful evening in September, when you heard a knock on your door.

“Who the fuck could that be?” you muttered to yourself as you got up from bed rubbing your eyes.

You look over to your phone if see it's 1:00am. You yawned as you walked to the front door. You opened it and your eyes were met with the girl who broke your heart all those months ago.

 The girl you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with.

She looked at you, her normally neat hair was a messy, dark circles under her eyes.

god you thought you looked bad.

"What are you doing here Ellie?" You asked.

She could've come to you a long time ago and suddenly she shows up? What does she want? Does she want to get back together? Is she here to beg for forgiveness?

 "Jesse told me that you were serious when you said you wanted to work the night shift" she spoke, as she brought her right hand up to awkwardly scratch the back of her neck.

 You didn’t know if you wanted to punch her or kiss her.

 Ellie’s gaze fell down to her feet and the two of you were surrounded by silence.

Since when is it so quite at 1 in the morning?

"Why are you here?" You finally asked again.

Ellie looked up at you once again. She hesitated. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. The words weren't coming out.

‘she's so fucking pathetic’ you thought to yourself.

 "Are you here to apologize? To make yourself feel better?", you spoke again.

Ellie looked taken aback, her facial expression morphed into a face of confusion? Hurt? You couldn't tell.

"I love you-" Ellie started, you let out a laugh even before she could finish.

"If you loved me, why was I the other women?" You questioned.

Ellie fell silent. She stared at you. She was at a loss for words. How could you say such a thing? You knew nothing about her situation. You didn't know that she can Cat had been in a loveless relationship for years. You didn't know how much she loved you. You didn't know how alive you made her feel.

Ellie was brought back to reality when you spoke: "You can't even fucking speak to me".

You let out a sigh as you took a step back to close the door. Ellie’s large hand reached out to try and stop it, but you were too quick. You closed the door in her face. Ellie put her forehead against your front door as tears streamed down her cheeks. She heard your voice from behind the door:

"You are such a fucking bitch Williams"

Ellie turned away from your door, her hand gripping her shirt as she started sobbing.

Loud sounds of crying filled the quite streets of Jackson as Ellie stood at your door realizing that she lost you.

I feel no need to forgive, but I might as well

But let me kiss your lips, so I know how it felt

Pay for my coffee and leave before the sun goes down

Walk for hours in the dark, feeling all hell

"I think I should start working the night shift" you told Jesse one morning.

"dude I thought you hated it"

You went quite for a moment. You did hate it. But you couldn't stand working another shift looking at Ellie. Even being in her presence made your heart yearn for her. If feels like you've been starved for years without Ellie’s touch. And you fear that even if your finger just lightly touched her you'd lose your mind.

 You already felt guilty enough when you found out Ellie had a girlfriend, you didn't want to make a fool out of yourself by confessing your undying love to her.

You walked out of Jesse's office and into the locker room. Ellie was in there. You walked right past her, going to your locker you quickly pulled out your bag.

"Wait our shifts are starting right now, where are you going?" She questioned.

"I'm working the night shift from now on" you replied as you made your way to the door. You felt so cold hand grab your wrist and when you turned around and you were met with Ellie’s pleading eyes.

"If you work night shift I won't be able to see you" she spoke softly.

You forcefully removed your arm from Ellie’s grip.

"go see your fucking girlfriend"

You turned away from Ellie, walking to the door and you stopped. It was as if your feet were glued to the floor. You slowly turned around to face Ellie once again.

"I'll never be able to forgive you" you muttered softly and you looked at the girl you had so much love for.

"Please try" Ellie begged.

"I'll leave her" Ellie quickly reasoned with you, to make you stay.

You shook your head as you dropped your bag onto the floor. You made your way towards Ellie as you once again muttered “I can't fucking forgive you" as you wrapped your arms her neck, her lips soon crashed into yours.

The kiss was intense. You've been starved from Ellie, and this was your first taste in months.

Teeth crashing into each other, heavy breathes filled the room, and hands were roaming.

You pulled away and you looked at Ellie for the last time.

Her eyes blown wide, her lips swollen her chest rapidly rising.

 You once again moved from her grip as you picked up your bag.

You stood the door once more. Before you walked out the door you turned to Ellie one last time, giving her a small "I love you" was the last words she ever spoke to you.

Don't hold your breath, forget you ever saw me at my best

You don't deserve what you don't respect

Don't deserve what you say you love and then neglect

Now bite your tongue, it's too dangerous to fall so young

Take back what you said

Can't lose what you never had

You don't even know why you're upset. Why were you so fucking depressed over a relationship that never even happened?

All you do is fantasize over a relationship that wasn't even real.

What you could've been. And you know you were being delusional when you thought you had a chance with her, and yet you still fell for her.

But we all learn the hard way don't we?

You can't be sad over something that wasn't even yours to being with.

All you had to do was suck it up and get to work. You'd eventually get over Ellie. And you'd be happy again, right?

As much as you try to convince yourself, you aren't so sure you can see a happy life without Ellie.

The girl you thought was your soulmate.

You got a 9-to-5, so I'll take the night shift

And I'll never see you again, if I can help it

In five years, I hope the songs feel like covers

Dedicated to new lovers

"Are you sure you want to take the night shift?" Jesse asked you one last time.

"I'm sure" you replied

Even though you hated the night shift it got you away from Ellie. You didn't have to see her at your workplace. You don't have to constantly be reminded about what the two of you could've been.

"Remember Ellie will come in at 9 tomorrow" Jesse yelled as he walked out the front door of the Café. He gave you a small wave, as the bell chimed when the door finally closed.

"yeah I know" you yelled back.

You hoped that one day you'd stop working the night shift.

 And maybe, just maybe you'd be able to move on from Ellie.

But till then you'd rather torture yourself than to be in the same room as Ellie fucking Williams.

Authors note: guess who disappeared and whos suddenly back again? obviously me.... remember you are loved and to always be kind, my requests are always open

yours truly,

Zia<3

[sheigarche]

hi! I saw ur Jossam hcs and holy shit they were amazing, so, could u do any other until dawn hcs? It can be abt any character/ship that u want. Tysm and I hope u r doing okay!

Hi, thanks for the ask and sorry if this is a bit too long, but I wanted to give a little something for each character 😅

My random Until Dawn headcanons:

Sam's coping mechanism is to study everything she can about the myths and legends that she now knows are real. It's become a bit of an obsession, and she even chose history as her major so she could learn more about the native peoples and their culture. Understanding things helps her cope, but her behavior also makes her loved ones worry. It's a tough balance.

Josh has psychosis caused by depression that worsened after being neglected and mistreated for years. I know the fandom often headcanons Josh with schizophrenia, but in-game we don't see any negative symptoms for that disorder. And we do know that he's been diagnosed with depression, and psychosis checks all the boxes for what we see him experience in-game.

After what happened on the mountain, the survivors didn't stay together as a group of friends. They split up to deal with their own traumas. Of course, some are still close to each other or keep in touch, but as a whole they are not one big found family.

Sam tries not to push anyone away. If they want to talk, call her, or meet up, she'll do it for them. But she never opens up about herself. What's in her head, stays in her head. And that's it. The only exception is Josh, who with light conversations manages to put her at ease and get her to share a little, but only when she's sure she won't overwhelm him.

Josh has not faced any legal charges. His father covered it all up. But he got the treatment he needed and got better after a while. It's a slow process taken one day at a time and the guilt still haunts him, but he has his life back and doesn't want to waste it.

Josh tried to reach out to his friends to try to make up for everything that happened, but most of them gave him the middle finger and moved on, except for Sam and Chris. Mike tried, but in the end they didn't get anything close to a friendship.

Matt and Emily broke up. Not much to say, the night made them realize that they are not compatible, even if they care about each other and have chemistry, it just isn't enough. A friendship didn't work either.

Emily doesn't want contact with any of those people anymore. Except maybe Sam, and only because she sided with her in the gun situation in the basement. So she'll call Sam and check in every now and then.

Mike and Jessica have had their ups and downs together as they deal with trauma. Breakups and reunions are common as they try to learn to be normal again after what happened. That night made all the difference in their relationship and they realized how much they care for each other and just don't want to give up on those feelings easily. They managed to be happy together despite everything.

Matt visits Jessica, not very often, but enough to be considered friends. They bond over the survival situation they endured and it's good to see each other once in a while.

Chris and Ashley started dating and got married not long after. They overcame the trauma together and still have contact with everyone in the group, but nothing too close. But Ashley can't bring herself to be around Josh anymore. So Chris just slowly ended up drifted away from him as well, becoming a friend that he might go out for a drink once every couple of months but nothing more.

Mike and Sam went out for drinks one night, but they couldn't bring themselves to talk about what happened on the mountain and they had nothing else in common to talk. So they ended up talking to the bartender about whatever sport was on TV, passionately rooting for two teams they didn't even know. It was fun, but it was one of those things that happens once and never again.

Sam and Josh's relationship is a real slowburn. Even though they have feelings for each other, there's just too much trauma involved. And they're afraid of hurting each other with their coping mechanism. It took a while to just be friends again and the next step is always complicated for them. But they are both willing to make it work. Because they are in love and are patient enough to wait for the right moment.

[mybeypage]

For entertainment purposes, I sometimes play around with an incorrect quote generator. To make it fun, the characters + quote have to be completely random / I can't shuffle names, and they have to make me laugh.

Here are some of my favorites. Hope they bring you a laugh.

--

Kai: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them. Ray: That’s brilliant. Kai: Thank you, Kenny.

--

Max: I dare you- Kenny: Kai is not allowed to accept dares anymore. Max: Why not? Kai: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

--

Kai: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

--

Max: What's worse than a heartbreak? Ray: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

--

Kenny: Just be yourself. Say something nice. Kai: Which one? I can't do both.

--

Kenny: Emily noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago. Ray: This reminds me of the Emily who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi. Kenny: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Emily.

--

Kenny: That sounds like a terrible plan. Ian: Oh, we've had worse.

--

Emily: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation? Kenny: All the time. Emily: Then you should be used to it by now.

--

Emily, to the Squad: If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! *silence* Emily: Damn, y’all depressed as fuck... Salima : You didn’t clap either- Emily: SHUT UP!

--

Ray, staring at Mariah in a cage: ...Why are they in a cage? Tyson: Because they growled at me.

--

Ian: You’re giving me a sticker? Julia: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!” Ian: I’m not a preschooler. Julia: Fine, I’ll take it back- Ian: I earned this, back off!

--

Bryan: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go. Max: Those are wanted posters!

--

Kai: Yesterday, I overheard Max saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Spencer replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

--

Julia: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird? Tala: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

--

Kai: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house. Ian: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

--

Mariam: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it. Salima : Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side. Emily: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!

--

Mariah: Here you go, Emily, a nice hot cup of coffee! Emily: It's cold. Mariah: A nice cup of coffee. Emily: It's horrible! Mariah: Cup of coffee. Emily: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee. Mariah: C U P.

--

Mariam: I don’t need to touch grass, I need the fall of capitalism.

--

Bryan: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles? Ray: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

--

Julia: Why would you give a knife to Kai?! Kenny, shrugging: Kai felt unsafe. Julia: Now I feel unsafe! Kenny: I’m sorry… Kenny: Would you like a knife?

--

Emily, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

--

Julia: Bryan’s gonna kill me. Spencer: No, he'll probably make me do it.

--

Kai: That's it, you're grounded! Tala, no adventures for you! Mariam, no fighting for you! Ian, no stealing for you! And Bryan... oh my god, is there anything that you love? Bryan: Revenge. Kai: No vengeance for you. Bryan: I was going to say "I'll get you for this," but I guess that's off the table.

--

Max: You're violent. Ian: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.