#im way too invested in this stupid dog

[nochangeintheplan]

gatorade my beloved (he's totally real guys look)

[souji-upseta]

yo my name is nyx, it's my birthday today (2/3). my birthdays have sucked SHIT the past few years for reasons that are depressing—

—cringe is also dead, i killed her myself, and i'm still grieving her loss. its been very hard for me—

—since i am the protagonist of Me and can do st abt this, this year i turn 31, and i will at some point turn 31.4, with all of this in mind, what do i want for my birthday? i'll tell you:

to talk about homestuck.

i'll do that, anyways, but you'd be doing me a gift by giving me a prompt to follow, and to feel slightly more validated in my inability to shut up about my hyperfixation.

so i'm asking YOU to talk about homestuck with me.

talk to me abt homestuck? ask me my headcanons. my thoughts. my relationship to the work. tell me yours. expect nothing that's profound, and plenty that's stupid.

i'm even turning anon on, for the first time in 6 fucking years. where making this happen.

this never expires btw. today is my birthday, but, for story purposes, let's say that it's still my birthday after it isn't, bc i will still want and, if i am honest, NEED you to talk to me about homestuck for years onward. i'm very metatextual like that.

i get the feeling it's going to be a long day.

>Nyx: Be the other guy.

You are now the other guy! What will you do?

>Web Tumblr User: Inbox Tumblr user souji-upseta?

>Mobile App Tumblr User: Do that, but hyperlink is unavailable?

=(n×∞)>

FOURTH WALL BREAK!

you are now nyx again, and i am now me, and i need to exposit some lore.

as in, some starting points to get u going, since "homestuck" is a very broad subject:

•i'm a massive massive slut for the epilogues and post canon content/hsbc. pesterquest is too good for this gay earth.

•dirk is my fav, ALL of the dirks, all of them, and it isn't even close. my fav relationship is the canon platonic/familial one between dirk and dave. i fucking love the striders. dave is my 1.5th fav.

•im more invested in dave's relationship to corndogs (and corn dogs) than you even know.

•mspa reader is my second fav after the striders, bc they are a good thembo friendsimp and also bc they are me and they are You. i might be biased. i love You. i love me. i love us. we're fucking gr8.

•im pretty canon-compliant, so my fav ship is dirkjake as exes (for now), and my fav ship as not-exes is panquadrant (canon) davekat.

i'm also really fascinated by rosemary and would welcome more opportunities to learn abt and talk about them but if homestuck makes a statement about anything it's to let the women and the sapphic characters tell their story (thats a joke, talk to me abt them too)

•june eg(g)bert real.

•i'm fascinated by classpects and the applications of paradox space's classpecting and extended zodiac system when applied to real life, since our only experience of those fictional systems is in linear dimensions of spacetime, and our only experience of astrology is as a species that in-universe cannot experience the sign caste system the same way the fictional aliens that created our species in their own image do. skaia knows, but we sure as fuck don't.

•i'm a former prince of heart (2012-2020) and a current knight of space, and my aspect is light. that is a thing that actually makes perfect sense for the reasons i just said.

don't ask me about vriska serket or (vriska) serket. not bc i'm not willing to discuss dark or problematic characters (hello, lanque bombyx) but bc:

for one, she can speak for her damn self, and has, tyvm.

for two, talking at length about a problematic character in any positive capacity marks you as an enemy of the state if that character is a woman, and being an enemy of the state is way too much fucking pressure for me for reasons i already explained as soon as i told you i'm a knignt of space. i wouldnt make a very good enemy of the state. it'd be an unhealthy blackrom relationship to the detriment of us all.

for three, i can just give you all my opinions/headcanons on vriska that matter:

•JOHN HUGGING VRISKA IN HSBC YESSSSSSSSSS

•she's greasy and gross and unkept af but not unclean or unsanitary, like, she bathes, she smells fine, she changes her clothes, but she's got the troll crust punk aesthetic absolutely on LOCK. she doesn't comb her hair.

•it would have been funny if she did even more bad things

•aradia did nothing wrong. vriska did but the meme is funny even if someone needs to take that meme out back and shoot it for the good of humanity.

•she should beat up ultimate dirk, and my reasoning for that is bc that would, also, be really fucking funny if she did

•john has both punched her in the face and hugged her, and now that john has punched aranea in the face, all that's left is for june—i assume she will have come out of her egg(bert) by then—to hug aranea and complete the circle of stupidity.

•she is trans yeah but she doesn't wanna get into it, she doesn't have to, and neither do i.

•vrisrezi most important relationship in homestuck.

there. you already got me to talk about vriska at length, and you didn't have to try. moot issue.

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

American Dad eps for review. This isn’t all my faves, but I didn’t wanna give you too much 😅

Delorean Storyan

Merlot Down Dirty Shame

Cops and Roger

The One Who Got Away

Fart-break Hotel

Joint Custody

Stanny Tendergrass

Independent Movie

Alright, I’m finally sitting down with this list!

I think you’ve got some fantastic picks for favorites here, Fart-Break Hotel and Stanny Tendergrass are personal favorites of mine as well.

-Delorean Story-An is an episode I tend to get mixed up with Toy Whore-y because it’s got such a similar set up but it’s a great pick if you’re looking for a Stan and Steve character piece of which there are relatively fewer than other characters. I specifically love the twist at the end that Steve had been laboring under the idea that at least they shared a love of Back to The Future to make him and Stan bonded only for Stan to reveal that he’s never even seen the movie and has his own reasons for wanting the Delorean so badly. It’s a good joke but it’s also a great way of reminding the audience that these two both want similar things, they just have so much of a personality gap that it’s hard for them to see it in each other, which is the running theme.

Also Roger and Francine dogging on Hayley for being boring and Hayley pranking them with one of two Chris Angel appearances in the show will never not be funny.

-Merlot Down Dirty Shame is a great Roger centric episode. I think it’s interesting the depth of character Seth brings to this cast despite the shallow demeanor of the series itself. Roger is self centered, horny, and impulsive but his genuine love for the family and his fear of losing their love is a topic that they keep consistent and this is one of the strongest contenders for an episode of that ilk. The lengths Roger will go to just to keep Stan from getting angry at him over such a small thing are hilarious and deeply in character. Plus this episode has some killer dialogue.

“I’m just gonna give you some time to cool off”

“IM GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF”

“Okay so you need more time.”

-Cops and Roger is the funniest Roger alone episode Roger going off the rails as his persona of a guy who failed to become a cop and now takes it out on his family entirely because of Steven and his friends stupid prank is gets progressively more absurd to the point that you just find yourself invested in this family that you’ll never see again and have never seen before. Kelly Clarkson’s “What Doesn’t Kill You” playing as he now widowed wife walks out of the restaurant with her kids is one of those great testaments to how well the team uses licensed music.

-The One That Got Away is one of those easy great American Dad episodes. A deep dive into Rogers personas being so much more than costumes to him, and how becoming all of these people can lead to some crazy consequences. I would say while something like “Roger Needs Dick” explores the emotional side of the personas all being facets of Roger, this one handles the mental presence of it phenomenally. I feel like I’m watching a thriller. There’s some obvious Fight Club inspiration going on and doing a Fight Club story but flipping the premise of Tyler Durden on his head was a stroke of genius on the staffs part. This is one that’s kinda hard to discuss because…like…it’s just a phenomenal episode You’d be hard pressed to find a fan that doesn’t agree.

-Fart-Break Hotel explores Francine as a character and I’ll be honest I’m very soft on Francine centric episodes. I think she’s an absolute riot any time she appears being a perfect balance of being a out of pocket as Roger while also feeling the most normal. She’s the duality of womanhood and an episode exploring how that balance has been thrown off by her lot in life is bound to be great.

-Joint Custody is one of the few early episodes I actually really enjoy. There’s some genuinely funny stoner jokes (the entire gas station scene is in my top 10 funniest scenes for this show) and it’s one of the first episodes that seems to get Jeff really nailed down in a lot of important ways. Considering Jeff is my favorite character, that’s pretty important to me.

Also, another episode with some killer fucking one liner deliveries

“He hasn’t spoken to his dad in years and his mom ran away before he was born.”

“How…how could she do that?”

-Stanny Tendergrass sees Stan get his ass kicked by Hulk Hogan this episode is perfect

-Independent Movie is a rare really good Snot episode! I think Snot episodes tend to lack because they so often have to focus on Steve and him getting into it over something which is obviously the case here. But here there’s so much going on between Snot very genuinely dealing with his father’s death to the manic pixie dream girl to the rare form earnest ending. Fun fact, this one is Curtis Armstrong personal favorite of the series and you can really tell why. It feels like Snot gets treated like more than Steve’s friend in this episode and Steve’s selfishness doesn’t feel overblown by the plot like it often does in similar episodes.

All in all some great picks, I can tell you’re a fan of the character deep dive episodes which I have the upmost respect for!

[strawberrybabydog]

stranger things s4 hit us again with the "explicitely labelling a person as schizophrenic and then making them be creepy and dangerous" no it still doesnt matter that this person is not actually schizophrenic and they are telling the truth according to context and fantasy, thats not the point. this is still sanism. they could have said "old and crazy" "mentally ill" but they SPECIFICALLY chose schizophrenia, once again, to utilize sanist horror tropes that schizophrenics are dangerous and creepy. they could have written Viktor Creel as a traumatized (and maybe weird) but harmless and kind old man who the protagonists have compassion and sympathy for. but their cinematography, writing, set, prosthetics show otherwise. if they wanted to write him as being a creepy and borderline dangerous person Dont Call Him Schizophrenic. be vague, call him something else. the writers arent stupid, they knew what they were doing here.

im also not a huge fan of them making said character be eyeless due to a suicide attempt and then being like "look so creepy." hey man! blindness and suicide attempts are not creepy. not great to associate a person who is blind due to trauma with horror and danger. once again using an ableist trope that disabled bodies are inherently scary looking. the scariest looking thing about him being eyeless is that he clearly doesnt have proper healthcare...

so is sanism that, although they have so far not said "psycho/psychotic/etc" that much compared to last season, They Have Still Said It!

its actually really easy to not be sanist ableist racist and antisemetic on a professional team of writers! its actually really fuckin easy. its really easy to have schizophrenic and disabled characters and treat them with compassion like Normal People, rather than objectifying them for Le Scary.

btw if ur takeaway from this post is "but the audience knows hes not schizophrenic and hes telling the truth, therefore this criticism is invalid" u have missed the point entirely & also i really dont want to hear it. im schizophrenic, im saying its bad and i have explained why. telling me "Actually, This Isnt Bad" ur talking over schizophrenic people about things we specifically experience and you do not! dont tell me its fine that the ONLY representation we get in media is that we're scary and dangerous. its not. i have PERSONALLY experienced the fallout of "schizophrenia Creepy Danger" in real life multiple times.

you can still like stranger things. i still like it. i think it has a cool premise, and im gonna keep watching it (im too invested LOL) infact i identify a lot with eleven's past of being a lab experiment, which i think ive talked about before. being critical of media and being aware of its issues doesnt mean you NEED to hate it or denounce it. you can if you want to, i have friends who hate ST because of this and other issues. if the sanism bugs you too much, dont watch it. if you still like the show afterwards, who cares? just be critical of it. understand its bad representation. dont let whats happening on-screen effect how you view and treat real people. if you notice it does, get that shit in line.

when you watch scenes like this, ask "is Viktor Creel a good representation of schizophrenic people? would my good internet friend and best dog ever, babydog, behave this way if it was telling me it's trauma or delusions?" (hint: this entire blog is dedicated to re-telling my trauma and delusions! i have not once been creepy or dangerous about it)

[dykedragons]

yesterday was such a good day!!

im on break now and this is the first time ive had my college friends over for the first time :) im gonna talk about it here to help me remember everything!!

we met up to get crepes and i managed to hop on the same bus as one of my best friends to get there. we hung out and ate and chatted and then we walked over to this Dungeons and Dragons store that was a few blocks away. the temperature was comfortable so the snow was slushy and melting, a couple of us got a little splashed by cars passing by but it wasnt annoying enough to not be funny. i got a beautiful pair of dice for our DND games, they look like tigers eye and have golden letters. the store was really cool and bigger than i remember it being and im glad that i had the idea to go there.

we all went back to my house, played smash ultimate and mario kart, put on a movie, played jackbox, the whole shabang. we ordered a pizza and i made homemade cookies and everyone really liked them! i showed one of my friends Monster Hunter, and just as i hoped he actually found it really interesting and liked watching me play (a rarity from people lol). and omg i had my Session 0 with him too and he was awesome, its his first time as DM but he knocked it out of the park, i was so invested and he made it so atmospheric! im excited to draw my character now! i also got a little baked with one of my friends that were there and we were balling the cookie dough together and laughing about stupid shit, it was really funny.

everyone loved my dog and she got so much attention and was so good, i think she was happy to be around everyone too. my one of my other best friends gave me a little hand-weaved bracelet, and the texture is nice and it fits perfectly- not too loose and not too tight. the house was all nice and tidy and cleaning it wasnt bad at all. everyone got back home safe with no issues in spite of all the snow. everyone had a really good time!

i wasnt anxious at all and i never felt left out. we all socialized as one big group and our dynamic is so comfortable. we all like each other individually as well as as a unit. this is the first time ever where i feel like ive found people that i really belong with. they always make me feel calm and included. when theres misunderstandings, theyre no big deal and we talk about it openly. theyre all pretty physically affectionate which is something i value. i can be fully and truly myself and they love me for who i am!! ive only known them for 3 months but i really feel like we all met for good reason, and the friends that ive spoken to about that share the same sentiment.

im so grateful to have met such good people that i connect with :) especially after a whole 19 years of being judged and left behind. i think im really healing from that, and im realizing that i deserve better than the bare minimum, and that its possible for me to be genuinely cared about. im not as jealous as i once was, im not as sad, or as anxious. i dont even dwell on the anxiety of "one day theyll all leave me and ill be alone." im not worried about it! in a way, im grateful for what ive been through, because ive learned so much, i know where my boundaries are, i know was red flags and fake friends look like. i had a wide-open space in my heart with plenty of room to let these people in. i think its going to be okay :)

[sadiewayne]

15 questions

the amazing and incredible @bisexualseraphim tagged me and now i have my laptop i can comply

Were you named after anyone?

not my first name but my middle name was from a character from buffy the vampire slayer and i have grown to love it because of that fact given which character it is

Do you have kids?

nope, no plans to either. maybe if the world gets better but i do not want to raise kids in this world

When was the last time you cried?

last night watching grey's anatomy. in my defence im very invested and it's my mums fault

What sports have you played/do you play?

growing up i played rugby and hockey for the school teams, i also casually played netball and football. at my high school we had to pick sports in year 10 and i chose the most active ones bc i was sick and tired of being thrown into the less active sports bc i wasn't as fast or as coordinated and it was awesome

currently, i've always been big into cycling which is hilarious for someone with dyspraxia

Do you use sarcasm?

i'm british, what do you think? (that's a big yes)

First thing you notice about people?

hair. idk why but i just do. i think it's because i can't do faces so i stick to hair, i like seeing the styles and colours. it tells me nothing about them but i'm always interested

Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings all the way. i'm a sucker for soppy stories that let me cry bc they give me a reason to get my emotions out y'know. and i'm an even bigger fan if it's in my fandoms (which they never are unless it's fanfics)

What are your hobbies?

writing, reading (mostly fanfics), playing a small selection of video games (minecraft, sims 4, assassins creed odyssey), comics, listening to music which is totally a hobby, i'm learning the ukulele again maybe...

What is your eye colour?

bc of how my eyelashes cast shadows, my eyes look like chocolate curls, y'know these things

my eyes are the like one thing i like about myself, i have good eyes

Any talents?

nope. i can't draw, can't sing or play any instrument, i can barely speak my first language, i'm not sporty, i'm good but not exceptional at school, i don't even have good general knowledge, genuinely i have no talents.

which is sad given i used to have most of them. growing up i did everything and was decent. i got school solos, played the guitar and piano, acted in school plays, was on sports teams, top of my class, literally learning multiple languages at once, guess the former gifted kid that turned out to be disabled burnout hit me hard lmao

but fine, i write but i'm mid tier at it AT MOST

Where were you born?

england *rolls eyes*

Do you have any pets?

i grew up with 4 cats, 3 died, got 2 more, the last of the 4 died, now have those 2 cats and a dog

How tall are you?

somewhere between 5'7" and 6 foot. wish i knew where in that (i think i'm like 5'8"-5'9" but people disagree) but it's safe to say i am taller than average

Favourite subject in school?

maths and science. all science. love it all. i did love english too until i had a bad teacher. oh and art was always fun, especially the construction module where we made physical things (it wasn't a sculpture). and geography. actually i loved most subjects in school

Dream job?

it's so stupid but i'd love to write AND do science research. acting would also be cool but that's so much commitment with little return and i'm not conventionally attractive so there's literally no point and i'd rather have a stable career

anyway, i have to tag people but i'll only tag my moots and the ones i've spoken to outside of tumblr bc i hate tagging people lmao... @somniphobicfox @avogadrostoast6022 @she-posts-nerdy-stuff and literally anyone else that wants to do this :p

[softdykellie]

okay, i’m too curious to not send an ask about the descriptor thing </3. i’m 5’0, have blue eyes, and long, light brown hair. i would say i’m pretty curvy and slim but not athletic or overly thin, i don’t work out. i’m a lesbian and have a gemini sun, libra moon, cancer rising. i’m really spiritual. enfp is my mbti 4w5 is my enneagram. as far as interests go, i love reading, writing, baking, tarot, and watching horror movies. i’m a cat person too and im lowkey afraid of dogs, i have a scar on my arm from one. i’m not really interested in having kids, i wanna be the cool, artsy, mysterious, milfy aunt <3 and i’d rather invest that time and money in travel or a nice house or assets. my career goal is to be an addictions counselor. i’m experienced in relationships and i’ve been burned so i take some time to open up, i’m also autistic and have bipolar ii. my aesthetic is definitely at a crossroads between masc and femme. my sense of humor either really stupid or some complex, complicated wordplay/reference, no in between lol. my favorite artists are ethel cain and julien baker ‼️‼️ and my favorite flowers are pansies

abby is instantly drawn to you from the second you meet, glancing up at you at every opportunity she possibly has without making it too obvious though she has no idea how to approach you, your head deep inside a book. she scribbled the title with a pen on the palms of her hand and later that night tried to comprehend what the hell it was that she attempted to write, now completely smudged. after a couple of squints and deep thought she remembered and immediately went to buy the book for herself so she would be able to say something to you, planning out in her head the way she’s oh-so-nonchalantly mention good book or i like the part when- and impress you. abby tried to play it stoic with everyone, but in reality she really wanted someone to let her guard down with and whatever fantasy she had created in her mind in ten minutes of considerate staring was too overwhelming to ignore. she loved getting to know you when she finally got up the courage to approach you, this girl would listen to you as though you were sharing the secrets of the universe with every word you said and she must pay attention intently, and she would be so gentle with you as she’s unsure of your feelings, toeing the line between romantic and platonic so carefully as to not scare you away and still have the opportunity to be in your life regardless, though she grows more confident and dominant during your established relationship, used to teasing you and smiling into your kisses

[littlelyingsmile]

My First & My Last

Do we think this is a good idea?

Earlier today i had a thought, "what is the reason why so many people are sensitive?"

It's because everyone is crazy. Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy.

I watch them scream at recording screens in my very own home everyday and its driving me crazy too.

I remember when I was 7 when I was forced to have my first kiss. that was the day i found out what sex was. She forced me onto my back and told me that;

This was normal, were cousins after all :)

It broke me, i was broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken, broken.

They ask me, "Why do you hate us so much?" when i see her face all i see is red. all i want to do is grab a fucking knife and stab her over and over. this isn't the first time. she's done it over and over- every time and i just wan't to fucking kill her. It hurts, she hurts me all over. just thinking about her makes me want to puke.

This is why i think everyone is filthy :)

They're all filthy pigs, each and every one of them. they don't think for their own, just shitting out what other people and putting out in the world like toxic waste. The ones who change who they are are the worst.

Growing out your hair and chopping your limbs are gross

I don't get why they do it. and they're so sensitive too.

DON'T CALL ME THAT< DON'T CALL ME THAT< DON'T CALL ME THAT< DON'T CALL ME THAT< DON'T CALL ME THAT< DON'T CALL ME THAT< DON'T CALL ME THAT< DON'T CALL ME THAT< DON'T CALL ME THAT< DON'T CALL ME THAT<

Im not sorry, i don't feel bad when you cry. Your fake tears don't mean anything. your empty threats are just jokes to me; light hearted and meaningless.

It should only be two things. Men and women, all this extra crap is just another way of being an attention whore.

CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, LIKE THE BABY YOU ARE, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY.

I tried something new when i was 12. I was in Italy and i saw how the dog was looking at me. The videos i watched made me go crazy, my knees went weak every time he licked my hand i just had to try it.

It was the first time i was assertive. the only time.

I wonder if i'm normal.

Do people like me? If i smile, am i cute? Am i worth their time and investment? Would you invest your time in me if i told you i-

My fingers feel numb.

for a long time now. i wonder if I also peel the skin off my hands if they also will feel the same? when i grow the courage i'll try that soon.

Someone asked me if i was ok and all i could do was laugh at their question. What a stupid fucking thing to ask! of course i'm ok! Hopefully one day i can introduce them to Jimmy. :)

[hermionecentric]

the gloriana set (derogatory)

around chapter 50 im like, where has the story gone? why has every character turned into a caricature of themselves? nothing is happening at this point except drawn out, cartoonish behaviour and pure nonsensical drama. ok cool neville is here but forcing him to talk about his sex life when he's obviously uncomfortable seems extreme and wrong. is this supposed to be a display of friendship? am i the only one who thinks it's not cool.

also what started off as ok cool hermione establishing her independence and individuality, has sourly turned into hermione acting like a rabid chihuahua without a shred of self awareness. and not in a cute way. by giving the story a focal point of "situations where men displayed an undercurrent of controlling, patronising, manipulative behaviour get taught a lesson by the narrative" to "the only thing holding the narrative and it's characters together are displays of controlling, patronising, manipulative behaviour." oh btw let me just toss in an attempted sa and then never mention it again because my sidekicks have taken up an uncomfortably large portion of the story. also these cheap gimmicks will not provide anything to the story, the story doesn't exist anymore because all you're reading is what should be ooc crack one-shots that have deviated so far from the original premise, you don't even know what you're reading anymore.

but sure, fuck it let's just destroy all these characters we spent 50 chapters creating. fuck why not turn ron into a horrid, possessive, stupid, spitting and drooling caricature of a dog on a leash as a friend? i feel like on one hand ok cool you've accomplished a lot in terms of character progression... but know when to stop. i miss hermione and her loop. i miss malfoy having depth. you're really going to mention draco's love is an obsession and then show me exactly how it is and then want me to accept it as the new driving power in the narrative? like. HER LOOP ISN'T EVEN MENTIONED ANYMORE!!! you had so many opportunities.... where are they gone? theo's character is probably the only part of this im still invested in. ginny has 0 personality, blaise is taking up way too much space, the flashback was terribly written, and the prank on astoria is like 10 chapters late of me even caring about it.

to take all this extra shit out, bringing it back to basics of shit: there's a curse on hogwarts (wow malfoy blood...), astoria (get punkd sucka), hermione's plan for after hogwarts (just like hermione's pov, im just trying to get through this story one day at a time), hermione and ginny's friendship taking a back seat to their boytroubles, the aspect of boytroubles at all honestly..., hermione and draco get together and don't immediately solve all the sexual tension they both have with each other AND theo (let's be honest). this is debt of time level painstakingly boring middle material. just waiting tens of thousands of words to get to a story that could've been told better and more succintly if the author had any sense of tension, payoff, build-up, and character loyalty and didn't just fuck around in the mud.

why is everyday like bam wake up bam something happens bam something happens bam she sleeps 7 hours, girl im exhausted even reading about your day let alone wanting to imagine it in even more detail.

im going to hold out hope that maybe it turns around.... but honestly im so sick of these assholes.

at least i always have the first 25 chapters to reread that i can still enjoy. if anyone can tell me otherwise to any of the above i welcome it. i desperately wish i was wrong.

[bilbao-song]

heres an ask because i too am desperate to engage with people. i know u dont care about roxy music but you did say you would accept something as incoherent as a keysmash so here is an equivalent: admittedly i find the dynamics between ANY band and their fans very interesting, but roxy music in particular. there is a peculiar divide between those who are staunch bryan ferry fans (these people typically dont give half of a shit about anyone else in the band), those who are fans of the group as a whole and dont particularly care about individual members at all, and those who are most interested in phil manzanera and andy mackay and sometimes the other guys, who generally quite dislike bryan (i being the latter)- and often there is resentment between the groups. i think its so interesting that a group of people can be presented with the same exact material, love it and enjoy it for years, and yet latch onto different parts of it and make it such a part of their identity that should you confuse one with the other they become insulted, or if nothing else will tell you "no no, i like roxy music but i REALLY like bryan, i think hes the best", or "no no, i love roxy music and im a fan of andy and phil in particular but i dont care for byran much at all, dont get it twisted", etc. are there bands you're more familiar with who have this sort of divide amongst the fanbase? do tell me about them, if you like :>

first of all i absolutely love that u sent this ksdhgkshg this is like. exactly the kind of thing i wanted

sorry for taking 39485949 years to post this lmao. i wrote like FIVE entire paragraphs and then had to edit it but it was getting super late and anyway it’s still absurdly long (as in, i can say whatever i want in the below text bc no one is going to want to read it) and definitely devolved into a huge general rant about the annoying and creepy behaviors of some people within band fanbases (specifically ELO-related bc of course) as well as vagueing about my own controversial opinions but......nonetheless.

anyway!!! i find this kind of thing really interesting too!! and i know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. there are just sooo many facets to this, and i guess it’s different for every band. on the one hand i do think it’s kind of an interesting phenomenon bc if you think about it, they’re basically enjoying the same thing but taking wildly different/opposing stances on it. as a whole i would find it a lot more interesting/amusing and less frustrating if people could like...manage these kinds of differences without turning it into some kind of overly vitriolic/super hostile opposition that you would think is about politics or something and not a band we r supposed to be listening to for entertainment purposes. i mean, i 100% get that things don’t have to be Extremely Important to be worth discussing, but it just seems wild the way some people get SO intensely angry about these things, sometimes to the point of being kind of inappropriate. i have a lot of issues with the way some people within band fanbases tend to behave lol

.......anyway the Full Rant is below here (idk why i wrote this bc it’s long enough to be turned in for a grade and it’s only partially relevant. read at ur own risk):

so!! thankfully with most bands i enjoy i just kind of watch the fanbase from the sidelines and don't get too involved in or even aware of all the drama. like...i know about the band and enjoy the music but just manage to not get involved in whatever the community happens to be collectively freaking out about at any given moment. i feel like the kind of divide you mentioned is actually pretty common within band fanbases (i think there are things like this with like...styx and three dog night? among others? but i don't know all the details 👀) but like, FORTUNATELY with most of them i just would not know. that's very nice because i unfortunately do not always have that kind of luxury with the ELO fanbase...idk i have a lot of very strong ELO-related opinions that i usually don't like to discuss in great detail bc i get disproportionately frustrated but yeah basically what you described does kind of happen among ELO fans, although thankfully i'd say it's to a somewhat lesser extent? people are commonly at each other's throats about a variety of topics including (but not limited to) who they support or don't support, but there are still plenty of people who (thankfully) are not so aggressive lmao. there is sort of a divide within the fanbase but i feel like it's probably not so 50/50 as what you're talking about...maybe more like 85/15

THAT SAID, i have frequently commented on the fact that the ELO fanbase is largely a dumpster fire and there is a whole entire sector of the fanbase that is comprised of people who i absolutely cannot stand, and most of them do fight a lot lmao. this is only partially related to the subject at hand, but a good portion of the bickering is relevant to The Divide. like, i'm 100% okay with having a different opinion than someone else as long as they aren't acting like a complete freak about it, but idk, aside from the fact that most of these people are like?? needlessly aggressive?? there are certain opinions held by certain members of the Greater ELO Community that just give me that vibe of like...hmmmm this is a person i probably would not want to associate with at all, even in matters completely unrelated to this. Unsavory Person Vibes. i mean like, “opinions” that just boil down to "i am very very entitled and also incapable of seeing anyone else's perspective on literally anything ever BUT that isn't going to stop me from openly whining about this absolutely whenever possible." like!! it's one thing to have some kind of legitimate, reasonable criticism of an individual or band but some, if not most, of the things i've seen people losing their minds over within this fanbase have been so hilariously trivial that i just CANNOT understand how these people actually managed to get to be (presumably) functional adults who are probably like 50+ years old. i mean like, full-blown tantrums and calling someone all sorts of nasty things over something that shouldn't even be an issue because without exaggerating i cannot fathom how anyone could even be majorly upset about it in the first place. to give an example: someone once had a whole entire little strongly-worded, excessively presumptuous freakout because a guitar was no longer on loan to the rock and roll hall of fame. like...it was there for quite awhile and two out of four inductees loaned absolutely nothing but you're whining because one who DID loan something eventually took it back? do we not know what the word "loan" means? anyway the best part is that basically every time something like this happens, if someone tries to point out that the person is overreacting or perhaps just needs to look at a situation another way, they will then go off on that person bc god forbid we try to be level-headed about things. everything has to be Very Horrible All The Time or we’re doing something wrong or being stupid or something. idk i'm convinced that some people just want to be angry

also just...some of these people do some really shady things that i personally feel are morally questionable but there's nothing i can do about it so i try to just kind of avoid dwelling on it lmfao. like, it's not okay to violate people's privacy just because they're famous and you're overly entitled/nosy/desperate for clout/blatantly trying to profit off of them? i know in the Sane World that's a completely non-controversial idea but band fanbases apparently often aren't based on sanity skhglkshgks idk i could probably write a small novel on this and make a specific list of all the things they do that are just like...bafflingly tone deaf and kind of appalling but i digress. idk the worst part to me is the way they'll be like, saying/doing something that's just awful or like, maybe even totally factually wrong while acting like they're in the right. absolutely wild

to at least somewhat bring this back to what we were ATTEMPTING to talk about!!! personally i've reached a point where i pretty much no longer care about like 90% of anyone who has ever been in ELO (jeffrey/richard/roy/mike de albuquerque supremacy) but i'm not like, actively a Hater of the others lmao. i appreciate that they were there and enjoy the nostalgia(? i wasn’t alive) of it and i’m glad they’re out there existing but i just...don’t really care about anything they do at this point?? a good portion of it is a result of me taking issue with certain things some of them have done, which has impacted the way i feel about them, but MOST of it is really not that deep and it’s just that some of them just don't particularly interest me on that kind of level/i don't feel the need to get that invested in like 927509257 different people (fun fact: during the 1970s every third person in existence on earth was, at least briefly, a member of ELO). there's really only one ELO-adjacent person who i actually very strongly dislike and a) luckily i feel like they barely even count as a member b) the reasoning is kind of its own Thing and has very very very little to do with anything related to the band so it's kind of another subject entirely. anyway that’s as close as i’ll ever get to actually getting involved with any of the Drama sgsdgsdgfhdh. my primary beef is with the fanbase anyway because, as previously mentioned, there are too many insane people. i guess what i’m getting at here is that yeah there’s a divide and it does affect me BUT i also don’t really get why people allow this to make them act in a way that goes beyond just having a difference in opinion and is so overly hostile towards each other as well as the people they’re discussing. like...if anyone involved is a serial killer or something even remotely similar then yeah, being outraged on an extreme level and absolutely hating them even as an outsider makes sense. otherwise? calm down!!!!!

anyway. to wrap up this mostly incoherent rant that i hope no one read: i have always suspected that band fandoms kind of attract certain kinds of very distressingly weird people and i just think it's funny how there's always like, a little cluster of people within the fanbase who basically seem like they actually hate the band (those are almost always the Weird Ones bc i can’t tell you how many times i’ve witnessed a person who is like, into a band to a CREEPY extent and then one day they just flip and become a hater). at that point i'm just like, okay? so why are you still here lmfao. i guess that's the Main Idea of all of this lol. i just don't get why these people stick around when 98% of all they ever do is complain and act overly judgy? i just feel like if my so-called favorite band was making me that miserable i would try to find another band to like instead of becoming a menace to society. that’s just me tho

to bring all of this together i guess i just assume that some kind of phenomenon like this occurs within basically every band fanbase. idk it just seems pretty universal for some reason. certain kinds of people just love drama i guess and will turn any difference of opinion into some kind of shitshow

tl;dr: yes

[toutallyahoe]

I hope the fambly stuff gets sorted out. Remember if you wanna vent, I'm all ears, even if I'm not there to immediately respond <3

I'm not gonna be around today, but that offer still stands. I love you.

Anyways, before I head out, have something I just came up with:

-Imagine indulging Klaus in his Inspector von Spector obsession by getting him cluedo. You haven't gotten rest since you got it for him, cause each game takes approximately 7 hours because he gets far too invested into the game. You're not sure yet if he has noticed that you stopped playing 3 hour ago and are sitting on the couch with the dog, cause Klaus is way too busy interrogating one of the cards. You're happy Klaus is having fun though.

- also to continue the merman talk from yesterday. The entirety of the Hydra team continuing the myth that they're kicking around "land orca" eggs. But also wanting to practice. So they make up something about it being a good thing for the land orcas. They then try to explain the game to [Name], who doesn't quite grasp the concept as a person without feet. These land creatures are so silly. They at one point invite [Name] to play with them, cause all of Hydra are himbos. [Name] is just the biggest himbo. The alpha himbo, so to speak. They completely forgot [Name] doesn't have feet.

it will eventually... just not for a while but its fine. ill be fine daeling and i know, love you so much cn and take care okay?

but ahem, anyways! that is so fucking cute and just akdbajfbkabdjajdkajdjajdjajd klaus is definitely going to be too into cluedo that he doesnt even noticed you tapped out hours ago and just played with his dog (imma just call the doggo strudel or inspector at this point since klaus loves those) and its just so fucking cute!!! klaus is such an overdramatic lovable idiot akdbajdnwkjejfjwjejsnnf

omfg, the whole hydra team are absolute fucking himbos but [name] is the biggest of all (to be fair, he is a clueless merman with no knowledge of anything in land besides a few) and its just— god its so fucking stupid and dumb afajdjakdjsjrjjwafahekkwhe

the fact that hydra had to come up with excuses to [name] that the "land orca egg" needs to be kicked so they could stop him from stealing the footballs and that they can practice is absolutely hilarious. them also inviting [name] to play and forgetting that he doesnt have feet is akdbajfbkabdjajdkajdjajdjajd im wheezing at this thought omfg

[consumedkings-archive]

things you were afraid to say + elliot x john xx

tysm babes!!! i had fun finagling this one a bit--set in a pre-cult (or maybe no cult?) au and with a splash of christmas for the holidays 💖 ~1.7k (i’m sorry it’s so long these two idiots share one brain cell and they use it entirely for talking shit to each other)

blue, baby ✤ no-cult au

honeyseed + things you were afraid to say

word count: ~1.7k im sorry

warnings: none! just these two fools being themselves

It was exactly the time of year that John Seed liked to come and get in her way.

Elliot was not a woman easily won over, especially after a breakup; these things were gravely permanent to her, sometimes in a fatalistic way that Joey often said was too hard to be constructive anymore. The only exception to the rule had been John Seed—wealthy, spoiled lawyer who spent maybe a little too much time in front of a mirror to be the kind of guy that Elliot usually went for. They had dated on and off non-seriously for a few months, and then “seriously” (which Elliot always put in quotes, because the only person who seemed to take it serious was her) for another six months, followed by a series of get-togethers and break-ups that were instigated by both sides in equal amounts.

So, yes; John Seed was not the kind of man that Elliot usually went for—and this meant that he was the exception to all of her rules, across the board.

His favorite time to come sweeping back in was the holidays. She had her theories as to why; they included, namely, that John would be attending family dinners with his brothers and sister, and couldn’t stand the idea that he’d be showing up alone. He also knew that Elliot’s mother would be hounding her to come and celebrate Christmas at her house—which was fine (“fine”), but made her acutely aware of the parental failings of her absentee father and alcoholic mother.

This was why as soon as Elliot opened the front door of her house and saw John standing there in his stupid turtleneck and dumb fucking shades, and he said, “Hey there, beautiful,” she slammed the door in his face.

Or rather, tried to; John knew her as well as she did him, now, and he jammed one booted foot into the way before the door could get closed. There was that infuriatingly charming, boyish grin on his face. “Was it something I said?”

“More your existence in my space,” Elliot snipped back, narrowing her eyes. “If anyone else stuck their foot in my door they’d be incapacitated.”

“I know,” John said in the way that she hated—because he was right. He did know. “But you wouldn’t do that to me.”

Elliot made a non-committal noise, to leave room for uncertainty. John hesitated, just for a second, and he inched his knee past the door.

“Invite me in, baby, it’s freezing out,” he purred. Elliot hated the way that his voice made her skin prickle with a strange anticipation, a craving. It was why John had become her exception; everything he did, his pet names and the way his hands had to always be on her, reverent, covetous—they were things she had never known that she wanted until John did them, and now if anyone else did those things, they felt cheap. Nothing like the real deal, John had said once, when she’d muttered it into his neck at night.

“What are you, a vampire?” Elliot scoffed. “Use your two grown man legs and walk in yourself.”

“Just trying to be polite.”

She released the pressure she was holding on the door and let him in; a chilly breeze had wafted in, bringing with it some dredges of snow as well, and goosebumps prickled along her skin. John shut the door behind him, shrugging out of his coat, taking a quick glance around the living room. The details of her evening were laid out quite clear; a bottle of wine, a barely-touched bowl of popcorn, the paused Christmas movie on the TV. As soon as he stepped out of his shoes and sidled after her, Boomer barked from his bed in delight. His tail wagged excitedly, but he waited—ever obedient—until Elliot said, “Alright, then,” and he went racing to John.

“Exciting night?” John asked casually, knelt down to rub Boomer’s ears with as much politeness as he could muster. “I see you’ve invested yourself into Hallmark Christmas.” The words left his mouth with a degree of disdain, which was not lost on her. Stupid fucker couldn’t resist being a pompous asshole even in her own house, huh?

“Actually, yes, I was having a very nice evening,” she huffed, tucking her legs up under her as she settled on the couch. He laughed, giving Boomer a few of the big pats that the dog really liked and she continued, “What do you want, John?”

The question made the brunette pause. He looked frustratingly attractive, in his black turtle neck and slacks, his shades tucked up into his hair. He came and sat next to her on the couch; Elliot turned so that her back was against the arm and she was facing him head-on. No room for shenanigans.

“I miss you, El,” John said, and she groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Shut the fuck up.” Her cheeks felt red already; the earnestness in his voice was enough to make her heart stutter painfully in her chest. “You don’t know how many times you’ve said those exact words to me in this exact situation—”

“Four or five,” he admitted. He propped his arm up on the top of her knee and leaned into her a little bit, until her eyes narrowed. “Don’t look at me like that. Didn’t you miss me too?”

Yes, she thought, but the idea of saying the words out loud made her stomach lurch with dread. It was too easy for John to do that to her—plunge her straight into the kinds of things that wadded the fear up high and desperate in her throat, things like I missed you and I want you and I love you.

So she didn’t say any of those things, even though they were all certainly true and even though she certainly felt them, regardless of whether they were broken up or not. Instead, she said, “What is there to miss, John Seed?”

Of course I missed you.

One of his hands went to cover his heart. The silver rings that he favored glittered, reminding her that she had also never liked a man who accessorized quite like John, either, until he’d come along. Now, she found herself hopelessly attracted to brunettes with ear piercings and Gucci shades and silver rings and tattoos that answered to the name John.

“Elliot Honeysett, you’ve mortally wounded me. I hope you’re happy with yourself.” He leaned back against the couch, watching her with his eyes—infuriatingly blue—before he cracked that boyish grin at her. “I mean it, El, I did miss you. I meant it those other times and I mean it now.”

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes again. “That’s nice of you to say, but I don’t know what you want me to do with this information.” Warily, she eyed him. “And you are notorious for saying nice things.”

John flashed his teeth in a wolfish grin that did very little to inspire confidence in her. “I want,” he replied, the pad of his thumb dragging along the inside of her knee, “for you to say it back.”

“No,” Elliot replied instantly, out of instinct. “Fuck you.”

“So prickly.” He leaned in, having sidled between her legs, and reached up; his fingers traced the slope of her jaw. “I know that our undeniable and instantaneous connection is scary for you—”

She warned, “You are within perfect punching range.”

“—but more than anything,” John continued, voice pitching low into a murmur, “all I want is to hear you say you missed me too.”

They were all there, inside of her—collected up, gathered up and packed away for later, those things that would have made him happy if she said them. I missed yous and I love yous and I want yous. Collecting dust from misuse, because the only person that made her want to say those things was also the person that made her afraid to say them at all.

“El,” John murmured. “I can hear those little gears of your turning.”

“You make me so fucking mad,” she replied, the words trying to stick in her throat on their way out of her mouth. Her chest felt tight; all of the alarm bells in her head kept ringing, screaming at her to stop, but John was close and leaning closer and he was so warm and the smell of his cologne was washing over her and—

It didn’t matter how many times he said the words. They always hit the same chords within her, and they always made her want him with every inch of her being. It was all Elliot really ever wanted; for someone to want her, to crave her, to jealously covet her like she was something to be treasured. John was always very good at that—unpacking her, pulling her thread until she unraveled, to dig down into the nitty-gritty of what she actually wanted the most.

But Joey, Elliot would have to say when inevitably this came up in their next phone call, he smelled so good when he said it to me, and he called me baby, and held my face the way he knows I like.

“I did,” she managed out, feeling that little adrenaline-drop she got every time she let herself even start thinking about saying something like this to him, like the plunge of a rollercoaster. “Of course I missed you, you fuckhead.”

John leaned in and kissed her, and she could feel him grinning against her mouth; his fingers carded through her hair and then gripped at the base of her skull so he could kiss her again. Mistake, something in her said. Big fucking mistake. But it was too late; she knew how this song and dance went.

“Of course,” he agreed, and sounded quite pleased with himself. “I know how hard it is for you to admit it—”

“I’ll take it back.” She pulled back to narrow her eyes at him, even though she was sure she didn’t look very scary at all, knowing that he could hear how fast her heart was beating. “If I find out you tell one single person—”

“No need,” John assured her against her mouth. “I’ll keep it just between us.”

[haikyuuscreaming]

omg hi! you started off your blog greatly, im so proud of you! do you think you can write an angsty scenario for akaashi? where his crush likes this guy and wants help from him and he feels all sad :( but she ends up confessing to him! i love your writing so far, keep it up!

UMM so i accidentally got really invested in this so it’s WAYY longer than a drabble and i often write long stuff bc of ao3 so this might sound a little more like that kinda fanfic style instead of a tumblr scenario? mainly cos im really a sucker for this stuff hehehe love you anon

also ! the request made it sound sort of akaashi-centric so i hope you dont mind? there will still be a lot of reader-chan here though! please dont leave yet and i hope u enjoy

again ALSO i wrote this half on my laptop half on my phone so please dont mind if it seems a lil clunky in some areas 

3092 words jesus ok here you go

-

Crushes weren’t necessarily a new sensation for Akaashi. Just an uncommon one. In fact, the last time he remembers even being attracted to someone was in first grade when everyone had a crush on this popular girl. He’s not even sure if he really liked her, or just found the idea of it interesting.

Now, second year of high school, Akaashi finds himself in trouble. Because for once, he really, really, really likes this girl. You. 

He can’t even fake himself out of this, because every damn time he looks at you, he feels all warm and tingly and his stomach feels less calm and he can hear his heart bump against his ribcage and god, his face even flushes a little bit.

(A little bit inconvenient when he accidentally finds himself staring at you and daydreaming.)

Akaashi doesn’t like this feeling.

I mean, yeah, Akaashi has somewhat of a sense of confidence in his looks, manners, and ability to make friends. He’s not exactly the top in each subject he thinks, but it lets him pass through high school without too much of a depressingly lonely life. He could easily befriend you and steal your heart, his inner ego-brat says.

But.. but what if you reject him?

He should become closer to you.

(For the record, he doesn’t not like the feeling. He kind of likes the serotonin boost you give him. But he definitely, more than kind of likes you.

A lot more.)

And one day, in the spring, he finds himself paired up with a special biology partner. With familiar, sparkling eyes and the cutest, most gorgeous voice he’s ever heard that always makes his heart fucking backflip.

Akaashi doesn’t think he can survive this.

His teacher blares, “Start brainstorming ideas for your science fair project! It’s due in a month, you know!”, but Akaashi blocks out the noise because all he can focus on is you, goddamn it. He can only focus on the way you push your hair out of your face, the way your lips upturn into the most stunning smile he’s ever had the fate of encountering, and he really hopes he doesn’t get h-

“Akaashi-kun?”

(Fuck you and your completely gorgeous voice that drives him up the wall and makes him want to kiss you.)

“Oh– sorry, yeah?” He kind of hates himself for how his voice lilted a pitch higher.

You laugh, sounding like a goddess. He hopes that it means you don’t hate him. “Ahaha, I was just wondering if you have any ideas for the science fair? It’s a pretty big chunk of our grade, and I am… not the smartest when it comes to AP Bio..”

Akaashi thinks quite the opposite, but he isn’t currently in the position to contradict you.

“Um…” He pauses and thinks furiously. He comes up with some borderline generic idea that has enough room for a unique twist. And your eyes brighten.

“Waaaoo, Akaashi-kun’s a genius, hm?”

(God, he thinks he might have a little more than a crush on that teasing grin and glittering pair of eyes.)

He musters the courage to smile without looking stupid. “Of course.”

Two weeks later, he wants to sink into a hole.

Yes, it might have been his request that you two meet up to work on the project, but that was because he knew you were a procrastinator! You would start the project the night before if he’d let you!

But it was not his idea to do it at his house.

Now he has to live with the fact that you’re lying on HIS bed, spread-eagled in your sweater and shorts, complaining about how lazy you are.

(He wonders how you’re so comfortable about wearing shorts to a male classmate’s house. You two aren’t even that close, although you claim otherwise.)

“Come on, get up,” he rolls his eyes. “We have work to do.”

“But I’m so tiiiiiredddd… and lazyyyy…. wouldn’t it be such a gentlemanly act of Akaashi-kun to do the project for me?” You flash him a sweet smile while stretching out even more on the bed.

Snorting, he watches you sink into his mattress and roll around idly. “Hey, don’t you need the grade? You can’t pass if you make me do your work.”

Sighing, you hum in defeated content. “Well, it was worth a try.” You reach out your hand and tousle his wavy hair, and he almost flinches at the touch. He hates to say it but he loves it so much that you’re so affection with him, and Akaashi knows he would give anything to keep you teasing him with all this attention.

“Yeah.. yeah, it was,” he murmurs to himself before letting himself sit down next to you. He notices how you scrunch your body from a spread-eagle to a cute, curled up position to make room for him.

“Mm, so how are we gonna do this?” you ask, with a subtle mixture of bored and curious seeping into your tone. Then, he watches your features melt into a warm, mischievous smile as you hum, “Unless you just wanna nap and cuddle or something.”

(Holy fuck.)

Akaashi forces himself to scowl playfully and he shakes his head, sighing loudly in mock disappointment. “I don’t know what to do with you.” And equally as teasing, he adds, “I should just kick you out and not treat you to lunch if you’re going to be like this.”

“Noooooo!!!” you whine in this adorably frustrated and threatening voice. “Don’t you dare starve me or I’m feeding you to the rats.”

He chuckles. “See, that’s what I thought.”

But of course, your face wraps into a devilish grin as you say in a singsong voice and throw your arms around him (which makes him flush and makes his heart go WABAM), “It doesn’t matter though, ‘cause I got this whole-ass meal right here~”

“Shut up.”

(But you both know he never means it.)

Thanks to Akaashi (and your obliging albeit lazy participation), you two blow the science fair out of the way and get an A. He’s never seen you so delighted about a grade.

“I’m so happy~” you never shut up about how grateful you are for him, not that he’s complaining. “This is probably the highest mark I’ve ever gotten in this class.”

“Don’t over exaggerate. You’re not too bad at Bio,” Akaashi remarks. “You just need a tutor, probably, if you’re struggling.”

(By the way, he is ecstatic that you two are ACTUALLY FRIENDS!!! He’s even met your dog!!)

“Hmmmm…” You eye him warily before shrugging. “Whatever you say, Akaashi-kun.” Your eyes flit around before returning on him, and you start rambling about the newest anime you’ve gotten into and how it’s practically on-par with the manga, and how hot one of their characters are-

(For some reason Akaashi really zeroes in on that part.)

He really feels like he has to contribute something to the conversation, so he puts in, “Wow, [Name]-san, you’re such a fangirl.”

You snort loudly and put two peace-signs to your face like some kawaii anime girl, doing this mock-sweet smile. “Waaaooo, you’re rightttt. I’m Akaashi-kun’s number one fan!! He’s so cute when he’s yelling at me to do my work and super hot when he helps me with homew-”

He swears to god his face is radiating an inhuman amount of heat and he rolls his eyes before shaking his head and jabbing your side lightly. “Didn’t I tell you not to say that?”

“Ummm, maybe.” Your ‘innocent’ grin tells him otherwise. “But you know, you’re right, Akaashi-kun,” you cross your arms and give your cute little smirk again. “I am a genius, and I’m suuuper good at Bio. I just need someone to channel it.” And you lean forward until both your noses are touching, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode. “So maybe you could help me out?”

The subtle pleading undercurrent in your voice compels Akaashi to straighten up a little bit without flushing even redder. Keep cool, keep cool.

(He prays that his skill of keeping a poker face will hide the blood rushing around in his dick.)

“Well, what time?”

This time around, he finds himself at your house instead. You both are sitting at your desk, ‘working’ on your math and Bio homework. In other words, just talking.

He’s confident now in that the two of you are close friends. He’s learned that from afar, you were a sweet and confident yet perfectly kind girl. That was the girl he based his feelings off of. During your Bio project, he found the cheeky, sly and vibrant yet chill girl who always teased him but was still nonetheless sweet.

And now, under that facade, you were an anxious mess with a shit-ton of insecurities.

(He thinks it’s funny how you boast that you’re just like Shrek. You have layers.)

Akaashi glances at you, groaning with your head down onto the table. “I hate math..” he hears you grumble.

“Hey, you’re not too bad. You just have to be careful when plugging in your equations,” he counters.

“But what if I can’t remember my equations??”

“We both know you’re fine at remembering them.”

“I’m gonna fail.”

“Have faith in yourself, because I do.” And Akaashi is being completely honest. His confidence in you being just fine and being able to pass all your classes is strong because he’s seen you work (after procrastinating). “You just have to work on not putting things off until the last minute.”

You make a frustrated noise before resting your chin on your propped hand. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just.. destined to be set back, y’know? Like, everything I do is gonna somehow backfire on me.”

He knows the feeling, especially late at night in bed, stressing over what tomorrow might bring him.

“And like… I have this whole thing set up for me. When people know me as a classmate, I’m an average student, right? Then when we’re like… ‘friends’, I’m all weird and tease-y.” You let out a loud sigh. “And to the unlucky people who get to this stage, I’m a mess.”

“Stop.” Akaashi’s surprised at how firm he is. “I’m grateful to have met you and to have become your friend, [Name]. You’re going to be fine, you need to trust yourself more. Because I trust you more than anything.”

(Yes, he is on first-name basis with you!! Yes, he trusts you even more than he might even trust Bokuto!!)

Your lips twitch into a small smile, one that he’s grown to love and adore. He’s confident that he’s so fucking deep in love and he doesn’t know how to move on. “You really think so?”

“Of course I do.” He flicks some crumpled-up post-it at you. “Since we’re not doing any homework anytime soon, what else do you want to talk about?”

Your gaze becomes a little more shy and nervous. “Umm… Weeell, I need help.”

“I mean, why else would I be here?”

“No, seriously, Keiji-kun. Seriously!!” You throw mock-fit, despite obviously looking anxious.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m listening. Sorry.”

“Uh. Um, so…” You blink and pretend to look focused on doodling on the corner of your math paper. “There’s this dude I like. Like, I reaaally like him, which is surprising even for me.” You laugh a little bit, and as Akaashi feels his heart start to tear in half, he forces out a chuckle to match. “He’s suuuper pretty– I think that’s the word for it? Pretty. And he’s kinda funny in his own way, and he’s really sweet and listens to me all the time even when I don’t deserve his time. And I dunno, I think he might like me back? Also, I really really really like him. But I don’t really know how to confess…

“Because you know, I’m kinda wack like that, haha. I’ll probably screw up the confession and make things worse, and, well, I need help.” You finish your ramble with a loud breath and you collapse your head onto the table, groaning.

“Uh–” Fuck, oh fuck him, fuck his life. “I mean… I think just a heartfelt confession would do? Something simple and sweet that says you really like him, in case somehow your words don’t work.” Akaashi feels like he’s sweating, a lot, and he feels even more frustrated than ever. His heart is crashing against his ribcage, and his mind is a fucking mess.

You frown a little bit, and suddenly a gush of words fly out of your mouth like a stream bursting from a dam. “Oh my god, what if I’m reading the signs all wrong and he doesn’t at all like me back? I mean, I wouldn’t blame him because I’m kinda ugly and have this weird personality thing going on and I’m shit at math and Bio-”

“Stop.” Akaashi forces himself to intervene, mainly because 1) you’re literally the light of his life and 2) he feels like he has to leave really soon after dealing with the news. “Shut up, [Name]. You aren’t ugly at all, and I, for one, enjoy your weird personality. And I already told you, you’re fine with academics.” He makes himself make eye contact with you, peering up from your arm covering your face, and says, “If he rejects you, he isn’t worth your time at all and you should move on.”

(Preferably with me.)

He watches you exhale, like he just unwound a tight spring from inside of you, and your shoulders relax and you melt from your anxious state, just a little bit. “You’re right. If.. if he doesn’t feel the same, I’ll just forget about him.”

“Because you’re a genius.” Akaashi tries to hype you up, but he still feels like crumbling. Falsely checking his phone, he stretches and stands up. “I have to go now, sorry. My mom asked me to pick up my little sister from tutoring.”

“Huh, already?” Confusion flits across your face, and it hurts him even more to just leave you after you confided in him, but he knows he has to leave before he says something he might regret. “Oh, okaayy.. see you tomorrow then. Thanks for helping me out.” You yawn before standing up to hug him goodbye.

“No problem.” He says it casually, but Akaashi feels his mood drop faster and lower than ever. He hugs you back, but he breaks away fast.

After leaving your house and collapsing onto his bed in his locked bedroom (with his 11-year-old sister knocking on the door and curiously asking what’s wrong), he can’t help but feel hurt that you couldn’t even tell him who your mystery crush’s name was.

A week passes by, and neither of you mention the conversation at your house. It doesn’t matter either way, since you two are still so casually best friends. At the same time, he desperately wants to push the matter just to find out who it is.

Otherwise, Akaashi has noticeably been more quiet and moody to the point that he doesn’t know how to control it. Sure, he keeps up the same as he would before your conversation, but he can’t help but feel his heart sink everytime he sees you. His mind is ecstatic every time he talks to you, while simultaneously wanting to tear itself apart.

He’s tried getting rid of feelings for you, in literally every way possible. From avoiding thinking about you (which backfired horribly because he ended up thinking more about you) to focusing on other girls (ew, none of them were even capable of creating the same effect on him as you do), he’s tried it all and it’s all failed.

Akaashi realizes his silent slump has gotten so bad to the point that Bokuto made him sit out a few practice matches in the gym just because Akaashi was nowhere near the spot that any of the team expected him to be at.

After school, he meets with you near the vending machine as always. You buy two cans of coffee, one for you and one for him.

As soon as he takes the can gratefully, you clear your throat.

“Yeah, [Name]?”

Glancing around before staring him in the eye, you start, “Keiji-kun, before you run away, I just…. I just wanted to let you know I really really really like you. Like, a lot.” You start speaking kind of fast, so Akaashi can’t process what you’re saying.

“And I mean it. Ever since the Bio project, you’ve been so nice to me and you’ve been such a great friend even though I made it hard sometimes, and along the way I just caught feelings. You honestly mean everything to me, and I appreciate you so much for everything we’ve been through. I- I think, I love you, Keiji. And I hope you accept my feelings.” You smile, almost nervously but nonetheless sincere, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode.

“I- I,” Fuck, oh my fucking god, he thinks to himself. He’s shaking a little bit– that’s how happy he is. “[Name], I..” God fucking damn it, he can’t even express how happy he is. He feels his cheeks blossom and he feels his lips quirk into this goofy smile.

But then he watches you shy away a little bit as you hurriedly say, “I- I mean, sorry. It’s okay if you just wanna be friends-”

“No.” Finally, Akaashi can use his mouth and then he gently takes your cheeks in his hands and closes the gap between you two, lips connecting in a display of pining and affection.

He practically melts into the kiss, he’s never been so happy. He thinks he’s actually about to implode; he’s been dreaming about kissing you like this, against your soft, plush lips. And finally he’s able to call you his, to call you the one. When the two of you finally break away for air, he’s breathing hard and his mind is a mess, which is rare considering his usual stoic state.

Akaashi has also never seen you so flustered and blushy. He murmurs into your ear as he takes your hand, “Feelings are 100% reciprocated.”

“I can tell,” you laugh breathily, and he’s so happy to hear that some of your anxiety has dissolved in that sweet kiss. He’s absolutely infatuated with you in every aspect. He leans in for a soft, quicker kiss on the lips and savors the feeling of warmth he gets. “Dork.”, he whispers.

“Only for you.”

[ofmythsandmadness]

i need a favour - four.

PART FOUR - and so, the truth starts to come out (just a little). or, someone starts to realise that what she’s feeling is a little more than just nerves about this fake relationship - that she might be a bit more invested than she ever would have thought.

WORD COUNT - 2819. A/N -  This is a mess of a chapter, sorry folks. I’m not great at this. My gay ass is really just trying to make this work for y’all and truly, it shows. If you want to be added to the taglist, just ask and let me know. As well, if I missed you, just shoot a heads up.

SHE EAGERLY ACCEPTED THE CUP, only to hissing and hurry to place it down. However, she waved off Vanya’s immediate ‘I’m sorry’s’ with a sheepish grin. “It’s fine, I’m good. See?” She waved her slightly reddened fingers to prove her point - which the girl did not really buy, but at least seemed somewhat mollified.

After daring to test another sip - and regretting it immediately after - Y/N turned her attention back to the other woman, sitting across from her. They were around the same height, and yet every time Vanya always looked so much smaller, like a child in an adult’s body who’s too lost in this cruel world to properly function yet.

Far too apt for a vague thought, she bitterly rebutted herself.

“Sorry for stopping by like this,” she started, readjusting herself against the couch cushions. “I just wanted to pass on my well wishes and I saw the posters for the orchestra, figured I should pass on the good will in person.”

Vanya smiled softly. “It’s no problem. And thanks, yeah...yeah, the kids have been working hard.”

By the kids, she meant a small collection of junior students who she had begun to teach after the apocalypse situation. She still nursed a myriad of trauma around performing herself, but she had been encouraged (by both Y/N and her therapist, as well as her siblings when they were about) to not give up on something she loved. And so, she took up teaching again, but went about it with the hopes of creating a mini group of performers of her own. Y/N could tell it was not the same as performing herself, but at least it was something. As she worked on both herself and her strange abilities, it would be enough.

“I hope I can still crash the party? I don’t know much about classical music, but I have gotten quite good at pretending like I know more than I do. Diego’s nonsense helps with that.”

The other girl’s smile bloomed a little, at that. “Is he playing plus one to that, too?”

“Huh - oh, yeah, well...I don’t know,” she stuttered, stumbling over every word like it was from a whole new language. “Haven’t asked, but you know, no matter what the guy says he likes kids. Maybe he can uh, put...put the knives away for the night. Or something.”

“He doesn’t have to-”

“-no, of course he’d-”

“-it’s not his scene, and he’s a busy guy,” Vanya rushed, “you don’t have to feel bad. It was just a joke.”

Normally, Y/N would know that. In fact, she would be so quick to catch any joyful points in their conversations that she would overplay her reactions, laugh a bit too hard and like, slap her knee or something stupid like that. But that time, the reference had gone right over her head and then slapped her right in the back, enough to make her fall over and collapse. She was doing her best to get up and rebuild that hole in her wall again, but it was difficult and she could feel herself coming undone by every passing second.

As if sensing her panic - or maybe just seeing it as it was displayed on her face - Vanya moved forward and gently touched her hand. “I didn’t mean to start anything, or - or say something wrong.”

“Oh. No. NO, you did nothing wrong.”

“But-”

“-sorry, I just lost my train of thought and along with it went my brain, I guess.” Y/N was back to smiling, but it was fake as shit and both of them knew it. “What were we talking about?”

“Hey...is ev-what’s wrong, Y/N?”

She knew Vanya was only trying to be nice - and genuinely nice, as sign by her changing the bland ‘are you okay’ to a real question. She also knew that she had dug herself into a really, really deep hole and it was going to take a whole shit tonne of climbing to get out of it. And this time, she was not sure a smack on the lips was going to solve the issue.

“Would you believe me if I say I’m all good?” Y/N tried weakly, only to sign and slump into the couch when her head shook no. “Alright. Uh...you got anything stronger than coffee? This is a douzy.”

“I think I can handle it. Considering...everything.”

She laughed bitterly from between her friend’s couch cushions, then attempting to smother herself between them. It did not work, but it was nice to hide her face for a quick moment. “This might just be more surprising then everything else, Vannie...believe me.”

Vanya came back quickly with the glasses, and Y/N hesitated none to gulp the drink down regardless of the burn. After that, she struggled through the entire story, the ups and downs and even the stupid little anecdotes shared between her and Diego just to make it seem a bit funnier than it was - like it was just a fun game and not her love life being through around and about like nuts. But honestly recounting it back just made it sound even more dismal and humiliating and plain-out weirder. More than it already was to her.

Vanya was silent throughout it all, simply nodding along and letting her speak without pause. She supposed that was a good thing, she was grateful there was no need to stop - mostly because if she did, she might just never speak again.

Y/N finished it off with a sigh and a wry smile, raising her glass to her lips in an attempt to get the last drops out, sans manners and any grace. “That’s that,” she grumbled. “That’s...that’s that.”

And all Vanya said to that, was a quiet, monotone, rather emotionless, “oh.”

Y/N blinked, surprised. “Oh? That’s it?”

“Well - I don’t - I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh.”

“It’s just unexpected,” she offered up. When the only response was a quirk of her eyebrows, Vanya moved to explain. “I just thought...you two really had just gone for it. Like we had always teased you two about.”

Her cheeks bloomed with colour, forcing Y/N to duck her head and hide the flush. Not that it did much good, the splotchy red was much too eager to show her embarrassment then appease her. “No. ‘Fraid not. We’re just friends...who are now pretending to be sleeping with each other.”

“But why?”

She shrugged haplessly. “He wanted a break from everyone dogging him about being single, I guess...and I didn’t have anything better to do. I figure do ‘im a favour, he does one back, we’re even - except I didn’t really think it’d be this...big.” As in, she did not imagine kissing him. In front of his entire family, sans Five and their dear old dead daddy.

And also, actually fucking enjoying it.

“And technically, we’re not supposed to say a word to anyone, it’s on the list - but man, I just, I just need to talk to someone about this.” She gratefully accepted the second drink, swallowing it down in three hearty gulps. “I feel like I’m drowning.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be. I mean, I agreed to this, right? And it’s my fault for thinking this could be a walk in the park. I just thought...I don’t know what I thought. I guess I didn’t.”

Vanya smiled a little at that, and finally moved, walking around her coffee table to take a seat beside Y/N. She took the other’s hand in hers, squeezing ever so lightly. “It’ll be okay. It’s only a couple months, right?”

“I guess, but I feel like I’m already screwing it all up. I mean, it’s been like a week and a half? And I’ve already made a fool in front of everyone, and kissed him - and then blurted out the secret to someone! I mean, I might as well propose to him and then tell him our entire friendship is a lie, too!”

Despite herself, Vanya grinned, finding the humour in Y/N’s words, despite the panic on her face. She squeezed her hand a little tighter. “You’ll be okay.”

“How do you know that, though?”

“Because,” she replied slowly, “you told someone, but just one. And I’m not going to say a word to him. Okay?”

“Okay…”

“...and you didn’t make a fool out of yourself, really. You guys were cute. And everyone believed it, mostly because they’ve all secretly wanted you two to get together for years. I mean, since the moment they first heard your name leave Diego’s lips, Allison was making wedding invitations and Klaus was coming up with the worst moments to drop hints about you. I’m surprised you never caught them,” Vanya finished, lip curling a little at the memories.

Y/N knew enough about the siblings’ thoughts about her and Diego. It was unavoidable and for the most part she was fine with them conspiring. It was only when the mention of Diego came up, when one of them said something alluding to the fact that maybe he talked about her a little more than mere friends...that maybe there was a whole lot she did not know about.

Just as she was going to ask Vanya what she was referring to, the other girl cut her off. “And the kiss, like you said it was nothing. You had to do it, and it didn’t mean anything. So you’re still okay.”

And at that, she felt all the blood that had flooded her face drain right out, leaving her pale and panicked next to her close friend. And just like before, there was no hiding her expression or the plain out anxiety attack raging underneath her skin.

It did not take a wizard, to figure out what had caused it.

“Oh, Y/N-”

“-I don’t know, it just-”

“-Y/N...”

Y/N slumped back and covered her face with the cushion, groaning loudly into the fabric. “Shit.”

||

WHEN HE CAME BY THAT NIGHT, she was cold. 

Polite, and caring as always - but cold in her actions, in her few-word replies, in the way she shied away from any near-touch possibly laid upon her skin.

It was not intentional, at least not at the start. She was a mess most of the afternoon and early evening, but then as the sun fell and the hours crept away faster and faster, she felt herself close off. Even from herself. Like she had rebuilt that wall but it had been built too high and too close, so everything was left out of her heart. Not enough so it could not hurt, not so she could not feel waves of guilt every time she did something stand-offish - but enough to make it continue.

She knew he felt it too, but neither said a thing on it. For that, she was grateful. It was easier to move in silence then have to stop and think about the storm in her head. Mostly? Because if she did let her guard down maybe even a second, she might collapse entirely. And no one could have that.

“Here. Take these.”

His only response was a grunt and a nod, fingers barely brushing hers to take the small pills. She pushed back her worries and maintained the same blank expression, watching as he dry-swallowed the Advil. When he was done, she pushed off the coffee table.

“Need anything else?”

“No.”

“Okay. Shower, there’s some of your shit in the dryer now you can change into. Come in when you’re done.”

“I’ll just-”

“-you’re not goin’ anywhere,” she barked. For a moment, she softened, considering a sweeter tone and more reason than shouting orders. But quickly that idea shrivelled up. “It’s late. You need rest. You’re already here anyways.”

“I’m not-”

“-Diego, please.”

He finally left the couch. She heard him moving behind her, but dared not turn to look his way. Instead, her eyes remained train forward, frozen on the window he had come through Watching, tracing the frame, paralysed in replaying all the instances in which she had stood there before. 

“What did I do?”

Her eyes clenched shut, squeezing with all her might; gone was the window, replaced only by darkness. “Nothing. I’m just tired.” A slight pause, then: “sorry.”

“There’s more than that, isn’t there?” Slow, stumbling steps in the shallow dark walked her way. They remained a distance away - and yet she felt like he was right there. “I did something.”

“No.”

“Bullshit. You’re upset - at me.” There was bitter humour in his voice then. “I’ve known you too long to believe any of your lies.”

When Y/N opened her eyes again, they watered and struggled to even make out the shadows, finding the night still pressing into her skull. Digging its claws in, trying to wrench out all her fears and emotions and the shit she had buried deep deep deep within. Offer up her heart on a silver platter and leave her dead in the process.

She smiled ever so slightly. In the words of Cher fucking Horowitz, ‘as if’. No weepy confessions to be made that night.

Instead, she turned and made her lips turn up more, into a more believable grin. “I’m sorry. It’s been - it’s been a long week, feels like everything’s hitting me. I didn’t mean to take that out on you.”

“I-I know-”

“-it’s okay,” she murmured, voice hitching at his slight stutter. “It’s fine. Seriously, Diego, I just need to sleep this off. And uh, so do you.”

Diego sighed, hesitating as he thought over his words before pushing forward. “Why do you put up with me, do all this?”

“I’m not doing much.”

“You should be sleeping.”

“Sleep is overrated, you and I both know that.”

“Come on.”

“I’m being serious!”

“You’re exhausted, Y/N.”

She shrugged lightly. “Maybe. But I’d rather sacrifice an hour or two if - if it means I know you’re alright.”

Those words not the words that she had originally planned on saying. But they came out anyways, and hung heavily in the air, a wall of tension that left both sides unsure of what came next.

Before he could try and pry, ask about those softly spoken words, about the way her voice cracked a little at the end, she spoke. “I’m your girlfriend, Diego, can you blame me for caring about you getting home safe or not? I mean, I can’t have the love of my life dead in a fuckin’ alley somewhere.”

At that, she just smiled and turned, hurrying off to her room. She heard him speak, but it was too soft to pick up, and so she discarded it with the rest of the conversation. Just let herself sink into the blankets once more and shut her eyes, begging for sleep even when her brain was more awake than ever. Like she could sleep, after this. She never did.

Y/N listened instead as he moved around, shuffling into the bathroom and starting up the shower. He was brief, only a few moments before the water turned off and he was back to quietly rustling around. Soon enough, maybe ten minutes or so and he was in the doorway of her bedroom.

She shut her eyes and pretended to be already asleep, just as she always did. Let him feel safe within the darkness, moving to the other side and slipping under the covers. He laid still and at the edge, as always, still as anything so as not to overstep any boundaries. Sometimes, she smiled at that - other times, she longed for him to roll over and move close to her, put his arms around her and-

-with a start, Y/N realised that the silence had been broken by him. He had sighed, followed by a soft sniffle. She dared not move even a muscle, frozen against her pillow as Diego groaned once more and adjusted his pillow. 

And just when she thought it was over, he spoke. Just three words, soft as a breath. If it were not for the heavy silence, she would not have caught it, but he might as well had shouted it in that instant.

“You fucking idiot.”

Y/N dared to breathe, soft and slow, attempting to play asleep. But even if she wasn’t pulling it off, she was not sure if he even heard, so wrapped up in his own thoughts. 

Not for the first time, she longed to roll over and touch him, reassure him she was there with him. Ask what was on his mind, and if their thoughts paralleled in any way or form. But like always, they remained on opposite ends, too eager to maintain a friendship to overstep. She remained still and staring out into the darkness, listening to her exhales matching with his own shallow breaths.

Neither of them would sleep much, that night.

TAGLIST -  @asexualmarauder​ @thatshellfiredean​ @the-bird-suit​  @rangotangomango​ @fandomsandmore394​ @thatkidofwarandpeace​ @antoouu @soul-of-a-traveller​ @yall-wildin-like-siriusly​ @artsyle​

[littlemissvincentvega]

bro what if,,,, what if,,,,,, im so soft but like?? The Dogs and Eddie asking you to move in with them? (Eddie and Pink would be so cute omg)

GIRL THIS IS SO UCKIGN LSKDSLAJDLKDJKAJ LCUTEEEEEEEEEE :0

pink:

tries to act all nonchalant but he’s actually anxious™

like always

honestly he’d prefer if you brought it up

brown offers to roleplay with him a little too enthusiastically. he declines at first (”is this a goddamn playground? are we 5? i’m not gonna stand here like a jackass while you pretend to be (y/n), not that i’d even be able to take you fuckin’ seriously. c’mon, act professional here”) but ten minutes later begrudgingly accepts

“fine, just– fuckin’ let’s do it. stand in front’a me. hurry up before i change my mind”

he approaches you really shyly and avoids eye contact

but he manages to ask you despite rambling on wayyyy too much, using way too many filler words and sweating profusely because truthfully he’s terrified you’ll say no

brown:

way too excited

wants to document your first everything e.g. your first meal When You’re Living Together, your first kiss When You’re Living Together, the first movie you watch When You’re Living Together

so he’s made a checklist for that

he shows you said checklist before you’ve even answered his question

asks if you can brush your teeth together at least once a week

probably calls pink to tell him he’s gonna ask you– “hey, listen man, i gotta tell you i’m boutta ask (y/n) to move in with me”

pink’s like bruh why tf are u telling me i dont give a fucc????

“i just wanted to update you and i’m gonna update you when she’s said yes!!! or no”

when he’s asking you he has that adorable smile on his face that u just can’t say no to, you know he loves you and that’s why he wants to share a home this pure boye

orange:

overthinks how he’s going to ask you

we all know i was gonna say this but he talks to himself in the mirror, a) to practice and b) to give himself a pep talk (which probably consists of him calling himself a pussy)

white offers to pretend to be you and they intensely play out different scenarios (like jim & michael in the this scene)

they get way too invested in the amount of possible outcomes

larry holds him by the shoulders like “c’mon, kid. you can do it, i’m right behind you. you’re a fuckin’ catch, the lady loves you, she’s gonna say yes”

orange manages to psyche himself up after that and asks you

he deffo keeps running his hands through his greasy mop of hair while he builds up to it it’s kinda adorbz

white:

honestly i feel like he’d mention it to joe or smth like not go to him for advice but if they’re hanging out at the bar with eddie he’d be like “i’m thinkin’ of askin’ (y/n) to move in with me– am i crazy?”

he lowkey wants joe’s approval tbh

cause he respects him so much idk you guys know what i’m getting at i’m just fucking stupid at explaining things :-)

you & white have a designated date night each week and he takes that as an opportunity to ask you

holds your hand across the table

explains he’s been thinking about you moving in. there’s a shyness to the way he speaks, and he 100% maintains eye contact when he proposes that you move in with him

his voice is so gentle too asdlkad

eddie:

threatens to kick vic in the balls if he doesn’t help him rehearse

when joe isn’t in his office, they stand in there like a couple of dorks playing out possible outcomes but it definitely ends up in a playfight

vic’s like “no, edward, i don’t wanna move in with you. ‘cause you’re a fat red-headed cunt”

that’s probably what starts the playfight

he’d tell ed you’re gonna say no (as a joke)

but anyways i feel like he’d meet you at one of joe’s private bars for a talk

is actually quite gentle with his approach, contrary to the shit he & vic were spewing to each other

definitely mentions his daddy when he’s asking you

“but seriously, you don’t have to if you don’t want to” cause he’s secretly worried you’ll feel pressured cause he’s a big mob son

blonde:

he lets himself think about it for a few weeks– he doesn’t wanna jump into something he might regret later

but when he’s certain he wants his lady to move in with him for real, he knows he’s gonna ask you

probably uses his handsomeness to his advantage but then again when doesn’t he

like when yall are Getting It On™ he’ll be mumbling against your lips-- “so, uh, i’ve been thinkin’... you’re, uh, really sum’n else, y’know that? so i’d be real fuckin’, uh, happy if you, uh... moved in”

prob gives u eskimo kisses while he’s rambling all of that

and u know he means it which is 🥺🥺🥺🥺

“and don’t feel fuckin’... pressured into sayin’ yes, doll” 

cause he wants you to be able to decide and not feel like you have to say yes

but ofc he’s over the moon if you do say yes, though his cool as a cucumber Vega Suaveness™ remains 

[yourfaveisyanderematic]

im thinking about that trish/bodyguard so piece you wrote a while back, and all I can think about is trish being so desperate for any sort of affection that she’s just like “okay, time to fake my own kidnapping”

Hm.  I put my Narancia piece down to bang out something for this prompt bc this is, as the kids say, a mood.  Modified it just slightly though, because that’s how I am.

love is just another kind of greed.

Trish didn’t get the appeal of dogs.

They were cute, sure.  Little silky fluffy things that yipped and yapped and tolerated being carried around in purses.  They were also expensive as hell—hundreds of thousands of lire could be invested in premium shampoos, gold-flaked specialty foods, champion breeding (why, again?  You’re not taking this dog to any fucking show, Anastasia, you don’t need it)—and those two things alone should have had her clamoring to get one.

She didn’t want one, though.  Dogs were frail, frilly little things that cried endlessly when you kicked them (even if it was an accident) and whined for attention even if you were busy, and they couldn’t do anything, anyway.  They could posture, sure.  Strike a pose and bark and bark like the silly boys playing at being gangsters she had to tolerate every now and then, but if you pointed a gun at one and pulled the trigger, that would be that.  They’d fall over with a little sigh and get all still and silent, and then they wouldn’t be good for anything anymore.

The reason she was thinking about this, by the way, was because she was bored.  You were taking forever.  Weren’t you taking this whole kidnapping thing seriously?

“How’s your ankle, babe?”

Ugh.  Trish took a breath and pulled a smile onto her lips, gently tipping her head back to look up at the man.  Despite the coiffed hair and designer shoes, he’s nothing special; some dumb kid with good looks and soft hands, partying his youth away with cash that wasn’t his.  A drop in the bucket of young hedonists.  The kind who took a pretty girl’s smile as an invitation and the light brush of hands as a blank check.  More importantly, however, he was the kind she could lure in without too much effort, too eager to get into her pants to ask many questions.

She didn’t even remember his name.  

Trish raised her foot, a languidly elegant motion that let his eyes trace every inch of her delicate skin, and after a moment’s hesitation he rearranged the pillow to better cushion the black-bruised skin, one of a handful of trophies from an ‘accidental’ fall she took down the stairs here.

“I’m bored,” she replied, as if the pain thrumming through the fibers of her muscles didn’t exist (it was that easy to ignore; she’d endured worse for less) “don’t you have anything fun to do?”

He hummed back, delicately rubbing small circles around the site of the bruise, cushioning the movement by keeping his other hand on her heel.  She suppressed a laugh; were those tentative prods supposed to do anything?  Did he think she’d shatter if he touched her?

Despite his arrogance, Rich Boy here didn’t have much initiative; the only thing Trish didn’t have to prod him into doing was getting her back to his expensive loft.  Frankly, it was a miracle the two of them had managed to slip away from you at all.

I’d love to party with you, cutie, but first we have to ditch my chaperone.  Come on, let’s go before they notice we’re not at the bar anymore.

Throwing herself down the stairs in a tangle of Versace and toned limbs had been an impulse, but wasn’t everything tonight?  So what if she’d scraped herself up, or felt a horrible snap inside her leg as she plummeted to the bottom.  It’d all be worth it soon, once you’d realized she’d been made off with and had to go find her.

You really did need to hurry it up, by the way.  Eventually Rich Boy here was going to get his nerve up and actually try to touch her, and then she’d have to just kill him and wait for you by herself.  That would be boring, too.

He probably didn’t even notice she was getting impatient, honestly.  His eyes seemed to be on a rail, tracing a line from her plush lips to the delicate hollow of her collarbone to lower still.  Typical, really.  

Rich Boy starts to chatter, some fumbling innuendo about the things they could get up to with just the two of them, but she isn’t paying any attention to that.  In the space between heartbeats, the air changed, the stale conditioned air suddenly heavy with tension that only she could feel.  The storm had rolled in.  It was coming down the hall.

Rich Boy’s voice registered, asking if she was okay, and it was in that moment Trish realized she’d been sitting bolt upright, abandoning the discomfort of the expensively minimalistic couch as she waited for the storm to draw nearer.

It knocked on the door.  Three short, sharp taps that resounded in the relative silence of the loft, a muted thunder.

“Who could that be?” Rich Boy muttered to himself, and then “Stay right here.  I’ll get it.” as he wandered off.  She didn’t reply, just listened, heart in her throat as his footsteps echoed across the tile, undoing the lock on the front door and drawing it open to meet the interloper.

“Can I help—“ the words weren’t even out of his mouth as something—your fist, Trish thought with a thrill of delight, you must have hit him—connected with a hollow-sounding thud, and his body careened into the dining table.  

“Holy shit!”

“Where is she?”  In contrast to his own panicked scrabbling, your footsteps were slow and measured as you advanced.  You didn’t even shut the door behind you; there’s no need to.  Nobody stupid enough to try to help could stop you.

Trish considers throwing herself off the couch—she wants to watch you work, and maybe seeing her sprawled on the floor would make her seem more helpless—but you’re already in view, poking your head into the doorway after the Rich Boy who staggered back in, and she knows what you’re seeing: your charge, sprawled on some pervert’s couch, visibly bruised.  You opened your mouth to say something, but Rich Boy drew your attention.

“Jesus Christ—don’t come any closer, or I’ll—“ the gun he pulled was just as flashy as the rest of him, and equally worthless; under the gaudy gold plating and filigree was a waste of metal that wouldn’t be hurting anyone tonight.

If nothing else, because the safety was still on.

You didn’t even respond, except to sigh.  The invisible blades of your Stand sliced apart the gun and the hand holding it, showering him in splintered metal as he went down with a high-pitched shriek of agony.  You strode forward, stepping on his leg to hold him in place as he started to crawl away, already deaf to the whimpering babble that might have been bargaining.  Your head turned, pinning Trish in place with your stare.

“I wish you wouldn’t do this, Miss Una.”

Your voice was soft, but with an edge, the one that always gave Trish a thrill of joy when she heard it.  It was different from your normal tone, the indulgently subservient I’m your faithful bodyguard and nothing more mask you wore when other people were watching.  Different, too, from the terrified adoration you held for her in private as she did what she pleased with you.

This was your bite.  Incandescent rage, barely restrained in the taut coil of your muscles and your piercing glare.  It was hideous, savage, implacable, the look that heralded only pain and death as you obliterated anyone who even breathed a threat in her presence.

How dare you, you said with every movement as your Stand opened the man up in a shower of blood, how dare you try to steal her.  How dare you let her come to harm.

How dare you touch my master with your dirty hands.

No command she gave could ever get you like this.  You were a killing machine she could point at anyone she chose with only a glance; you would destroy yourself for her whims, if she let you, but there was no passion in obedience.  

Your voice has turned plaintive, almost hurt, and it puts her back in the moment.  “Do you doubt my devotion?  Were you just bored?  You could have just told me to kill for you.  Look, I’ve even let you hurt yourself.  How can I face your father now?”

Don’t look away, Trish wanted to cry out, seeing you turn your glare back toward the remains of your enemy, get angry with me.  Let me see how love twists your face.

These were the moments she knew you loved her.  The uncontrollable passion of your fury, for her and only her, only shone when something threatened to take her from you.  These were the moments that Trish Una well and truly and fully felt wanted, and they were getting addicting.  Was it cruel to do this to you—to drive you to this edge of madness, repeatedly and on a whim, purely to satiate her cravings?  Perhaps, but it felt good not to care.  

You drew near to her, taking another look at her injuries, and she breathed the smell of blood and smoke that hung around you like it was perfume.  Your touch was delicate, but not gentle, and after a few seconds you pronounced it definitively broken.  She wouldn’t be walking for a while.  She was fine with that.

“Then you’ll have to carry me everywhere,” she declared, crossing her arms.  You met her eyes, searching them for something, and then raised a hand to graze her cheek.  She leaned into it a little, sure that it was a caress, but your hand came away with a smear of blood; you’d been rubbing it away.

“If that’s your wish, Miss Una,” you murmured, and then gathered her into your arms.  Her arms wrapped around your shoulders as she relaxed into you, until her lips were inches away from your own.  You didn’t incline your head in the slightest as you carried her out of the loft, just let your breath ghost across her face until she finally closed the distance and kissed you full on the mouth in the elevator.

There wasn’t any appeal in dogs for someone who already had a wolf.