#imagine if each of his six modes were inspired by one of his dads

[they-hermes]

was doing a dive into tfwiki and found this little fun fact for scrapped idw quickswitch

its funny to imagine the crew come together and build a baby, but whats funnier is the implication that this would be the second time megatron has witnessed the birth of a super warrior (overlord) but also the second time Prowls influence led to his ex building a super soldier (tarantulas saying without prowl ostaros would have never existed/ chromdome performing mnemosurgery on overlord bc of prowl)

quickswitch beating springer at the number of dads game

[rikumorimachisgirl]

Watching You (Shinsuke Kita x Reader)

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Genre: Fluff, Post-timeskip

Word count: 1164

A/N: This kinda feels unfinished, but I just wanted to get it out of my head while I had the inspiration. Also, cross-posted on AO3.

Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu!! nor its characters, but I own the idea of this fic.

From your bedroom window, you watched him park his small truck in front of his home right across the street. With only the thin fabric of your draperies to hide you from the outside world, you proceeded to gaze out as you always did to catch a view of him. Him - your neighbor, an old schoolmate in high school named Kita. You hadn't intended to, but the lockdown was taking longer than you had imagined, and you had to look for ways to stay sane while waiting for a chance to resume your life in Tokyo. 

Your gaze shifted to the clock at your bedside, and you smiled. It was the same routine every morning - he'd come home in his truck at exactly seven in the morning and then leave again an hour later. You always wondered what time his day started and where he'd come from, but never bothered to ask. After all, it wasn't like you were friends - you only went to school together and he was two classes ahead. 

But you knew him. Oh, how you did! You knew he'd leave his house for volleyball practice at five in the morning, and wouldn't be back until six or seven at night. You knew he adored his grandma and doted on his younger brother. You also knew that he wouldn't exactly give any girl the time of day because he was busy studying. Sighing, you set aside your high school memories so you could shift your focus back to him. 

Today seemed like a happy day, you thought silently as you watched more members of his household step out to meet him with big smiles on their faces. One by one, they unloaded boxes and trays from the small white truck. As you moved to get a better view of the boxes, you suddenly felt strange, as if someone's eyes were on you. As you scanned the neighbors you were spying on, you realized the person you were looking at had moved away from his family. And that he had somehow moved to the right side of the truck, where he had an unobstructed view of you. He squinted, as he tried to make out your outline, and you gasped. Panicked, you quickly dropped to the floor, and inched your way far from the window. 

"That was embarrassing," you said as you tried to calm your pounding heart. "Okay. That's enough spying on Kita-san starting today."

With that thought in mind, you tried to go through your day by writing a featured article for the lifestyle publication you now worked for. Though tempting, you stopped yourself from going to the window to peek at your neighbor even when you heard his truck arrive, or when you heard him joke around with his brother. A flush crept up your cheeks at the thought that he saw you watching them earlier for the first time. 

'If that even was the first time he caught me watching! Ugh, I can't believe this pandemic turned me into a peeping tom," you thought, as you pound your fists on the sides of your head. Before you went into full anxiety mode, you suddenly had another thought. 

'What if he didn't see me?' You thought as you looked out the window from your workspace in your room. It was possible after all - the sun was facing my room's direction, so the light would've reflected on my window, keeping me from view. 

'Yeah.' The thought relieved the anxiety you were starting to feel. He was just probably looking at the reflection of the sun. There was no way he would see you. 'Let's go with that.'

Your relief was short-lived when your mom knocked on your door and announced that you were going to accompany her and your dad to a birthday party. Right across the street. Where the Kitas lived. 

This was a nightmare. You sat with your parents and some other neighbors at the Kita's residence, with a fake smile plastered on your face. It was his grandmother's birthday, and they thought of inviting your family to celebrate. The atmosphere was jovial, but all you could think of was that you were nosing around in their business from your bedroom window a couple of hours back. 

"(Y/n)-chan looks so out-of-place in this table." You heard the birthday celebrant say. You tensed up, surprised. You didn't know the old woman even knew who you were, and suddenly there she was standing right beside you. 

You shot up from your seat awkwardly. "Happy Birthday, Obaasan," you said, bowing low to greet her. 

"You are every inch as pretty as he says," the old woman continued, as she peered into your face and smiled. 

'He says,' you thought silently. 

"But you shouldn't be here with the older guests. Why don't you join the younger ones instead?" She said, picking up your hand, and tugging you along with her.

"Uhm, the younger people, Obaasan?" You asked, marveling at how strong the elderly Kita was despite her age. 

"The younger people," she said and came into a full stop in front of the one person you dreaded to see. Dressed in a collared maroon shirt that complemented his brown eyes, and trousers, he looked more like a model than the rice farmer he grew up to be. As you finally fixed your eyes on your former schoolmate, you saw that he was already doing the same for you. 

"Isn't it nice to finally see each other face-to-face, instead of staring at each other through the window?" The old woman teased and squeezed your hand before letting it go and leaving you both on your own. 

"So, uh…," you started. 

"Shinsuke," he offered, as he pulled out a chair for you to sit. "My name is Shinsuke."

"I'm (y/n)," you responded while playing with your hands-on your lap. "Uh… we went to school together before…"

"Yes, I know. You were two years below me in high school," he started matter-of-factly as he gazed at you calmly. 

"Right. After that, I went to Tokyo. I've been living there since," you said, hoping to make the conversation less awkward. Meeting people like this wasn't your strong suit, but you knew you had to try. Looking wistfully at the flowers in the centerpiece of the table you both occupied, you cleared your throat again. "I only came here to visit but with the pandemic and all, my parents aren't so keen on sending me away." 

"Hmm. It must be hard adjusting back to life in Hyogo after being away for so long," the former Inarizaki men's volleyball team captain said. "So, what have you been doing since April?"

You cocked an eyebrow and looked at him quizzically. "How'd you know I've been here since April?"

A blush started sweeping across his face as he smiled. "Truth is, (y/n)-chan, while you were watching me, I was kinda watching you, too."

The end. 

[tiny-space-robot]

Okay so Fire Emblem anon here!! Here's a Kinda Super Long Bc I Got Carried Away description of a few Fire Emblem games, plus some characters that seem like they hit tropes you like!

The good news is that there's not a super huge overarching timeline, there's several smaller timelines that are seperate from one another except for the crossover games. I'm gonna go with describing the newer ones that you're most likely to be able to get your hands on and play; a lot of people complain that they lean into some anime-tropey stuff and are too easy, but tbh, that's a perk just as often as it isn't. Basically, it's Game of Thrones, but rated T and with more cute girls and old men who are friendly instead of creepy.

Tbh, it's a turn-based strategy game with visual novel elements for characterization, if strategy games aren't your thing and you're just interested in the characters, watching the support conversations on Youtube might be more your thing. All the characterization, none of the resetting the same goshdang level thirty times. Anyways, description of the games in passing, including a brief description of the plot concept, pros and cons, trigger warnings, and some characters you might be interested in if you're just looking up characters.

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Awakening: for the 3DS. Follows Robin, an amnesiac mage, after they're found in a field by a band of knights called the Shepherds. Involves the undead, a twink in a mask, timey-wimey shenangians, and the usual cast of oddballs you'd expect from a Fire Emblem game.

Pros of Awakening: customizable player character, intro of Casual mode (turns off permadeath) and the Pair Up system, which lets you put characters together for shipping reasons strategy and stat boosts. Also doubles as a shipping simulator, since you can pair off characters and meet their later in the game due to said timey-wimey shenangians.

Cons of Awakening: there are some....very concerning combos of names/skin tones/plot relevance for certain characters, so go in with a warning about implicit racism. Also if you like strategy games, this game is relatively easy to break and make "too easy," but tbh that's what Lunatic Mode (the Ultra Unfair Hard Mode) is for.

Trigger warnings across the main plot: underhanded politics, attempted assassinations, martyrdom, an optional character is implied to stalk Robin but idk how to tag that, identity crises, conflicts within a family, character who isn't you looks like you, backstory child abuse, an optional character is a bad portrayal of DID if you squint?

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Fates: is actually a group name for two games set in the same universe, and a DLC bonus story: Birthright, Conquest, and Revelations. All for the 3DS. All three games star Corrin, a pacifist raised in seclusion in the kingdom of Nohr. Each game reflects a different path Corrin can take in navigating the war between the nations of Nohr and Hoshido: Birthright has them stand with Hoshido, Conquest with Nohr, and Revelations has them strike out (nearly) alone. Each path has a completely different storyline, cast of characters, and difficulty curve.

Pros of Fates: honestly, the characters here cater the most to the avid pro-shipper and multi-shipper. I just love this cast. Both Nohr and Hoshido have four members of the royal family you can play and get to know, each of those royal family members has two retainers who are various levels of dedicated and/or unhinged, and the cast just widens and widens. Also a character customization and shipping simulator point for the same reasons Awakening gets it. Also, canon fujoshi rights (there's a character with a skill called Daydream, which boosts her stats when two male characters are paired up near her. one of us, one of us). Also the first game with canon queer characters: both Rhajat and Niles are bi.

Cons of Fates: unfortunately, the writing is kinda rushed or badly translated in some places. Also *shakes IntSys* my lore! Give me more lore! Also, iirc, you could get both physical games in a bundle for a discount when they came out, but not anymore, so it's sorta like Pokemon with version exclusives. Which is less fun, since you can't directly trade characters. Also the fandom for this game is RIFE with discourse, which is kinda sad bc I just wanna talk my ships with ppl sjxhdjdn

Trigger warnings for Fates: child abuse might as well be Nohr's middle name, in-universe racism (since Hoshido is p obviously Japan-inspired, and a lot of Nohrians are rancid to Hoshidans), kidnapping, on-screen murder, lots of fighting your loved ones (on both main routes, you gotta fight the playable characters from the other side AAA), su-c-de, death of sibling(s) in certain routes, demonic-like possession, there's like six characters people can read as bad mental illness rep, Niles especially is discourse bait for being a kinky (yes that's canon) bi man of color but also he's awesome so die mad antis

*break for space*

Shadows of Valentia: for the 3DS. A remake of Gaiden, the second game in the series. Follows Alm, a farm boy from a small village in Zofia, and Celica, his childhood best friend. Zofia and the nation to its north, Rigel, are two nations ruled by the dragon gods Mila and Duma, respectively. Normally, they're in equilibrium, but Rigel is invading and Mila is missing, prompting Alm and Celica to independently investigate the problem.

Pros of SoV: the most like the old-school Fire Emblem games, but it also has the permadeath-off mode. also the first to be fully voice acted! The art style is gorgeous, and the plot was polished up from the old game--two characters names Berkut and Rinea were added, and they are PEAK OTP the diskhorse can die mad. Also the cast is pretty fun all around, from buddy squad and the older brother/dad figure they adopted along the way to "hello this is my gang of childhood friends, we're gonna kill a god" Also introduces Mila's Turnwheel, which lets you rewind your moves if you realize you goofed big time and screwed yourself over.

Cons of SoV: has the most references to other games, but you won't, like, be lost if you don't get them. You just might have a few interludes of "who tf is Camus/the White Wing Brigade/etc" but it's easy enough to look up on the wiki. Also tbh, the plot kinda drags in the middle, there's some filler battles to try and make it feel more realistic and it feels...weird. Also no custom character, you are Alm and Celica and you will Like It.

Trigger warnings for SoV: you know that thing where a girl character gets killed off for a guy character to angst over? the game starts with a fakeout version of that. also a character slowly goes mad over the course of the plot (but it's really well done imo?), there's some self-sacrifice stuff in there, classism is a major theme, possession/selling your soul™, there's a couple of levels where you're exploring tombs/prisons, I'm sure there's something else but I'm forgetting right now

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Three Houses: on the Switch. The newest game in the series, and the most polished imo? Stars Byleth, a wandering mercenary turned teacher at the Officer's Academy. The Academy, housed in Garreg Mach Monastery, teaches youths from across the land of Fodlan how to be warriors, commanders, and knights. Students are sorted into three houses based on their country of origin: the Black Eagles are from ghe Adrestian Empire, led by the heiress-apparent Edelgard; the Blue Lions are from the kingdom of Faerghus, led by prince Dimitri; and the Golden Deer are from the Leicester Alliance, led by Claude, grandson of the Duke. You choose one of these houses to lead, and then everything quickly goes sour.

Pros of Three Houses: It's such a rich experience! The music is incredible, there's so much lore, and you can wander around the Monastery and hang out with the students to your heart's content. Also, it's four storylines for the price of one, even if they're all relatively similar in the first half. It does a pretty solid job of weaving together its themes into a satisfying narrative that will make you consider everyone involved. Also we got our first bi main lord (Edelgard) and non-white main lord (Claude is mixed race) in one fell swoop! Also, given the setting, it's teacher/student ship heaven.

Cons of Three Houses: just gonna come right out and say it: one of the villainous factions in the game is pretty substantially tied up with some anti-semitic tropes. There's no way to ignore it, it's just bleh, and I'm not gonna send anyone in without that warning. Also, though there's some characters you can persuade to switch sides, or spare, there's no route where there's a happy ending for everyone. Also there are so many people who are fake deep about the themes of the game, so be ready for the worst takes imaginable about your faves. also super trigger heavy, see below.

Trigger warnings: MANY. Garreg Mach and the Church of Seiros are very reminiscent of catholic religious stuff, for anyone with religion triggers, blood in cutscenes, death of a parent, death of a sibling (different characters), major gaslighting vibes in some places, lots of people going unhinged, some white savior™ vibes in places, body horror, creepy ass weaponry, backstory genoc-de (mostly not related to the anti-semitism), blood magic (definitely related to the anti-semitism), in general it goes to a lot more effort than the other games to make you think about what's Actually going on, even if it doesn't always work.

*break for legibility*

As for characters you'd like, if you just want to look some characters up, my recommendations based on what I understand about you include:

Awakening: Libra fits 'gnc man of the cloth' so well it's actually a conversation in game: "so what's a woman of the cloth doing here?" "...man, sir, man of the cloth." And Then He Never Gets Misgendered Again. Also Nowi's supports sometimes feel like a jab at antis-- she's a manakete, a person who can transform into a dragon. Manaketes also grow really slowly, as in "middle aged looking manaketes are like 1000 years old," so she's got major baby face and copes with being mistaken for a teenager by making jokes. Also Gregor, who she first appears with, is pretty fun--older mercenary with a thick accent who is like 80% here for a good time. Also Walhart, who's a villain but got some content added as DLC.

Fates: any interactions between Corrin, Leo, and/or Camilla are probably right up your alley--Camilla is obsessively protective over her siblings in a way that's Very Definitely Platonic™, and Leo also canonically has a crush on her in something that was cut in the English release. Also Gunther--once upon a time he was your classic knight in shining armor, now he's semi-retired, Corrin's personal guard, and covered in scars (and his voice is gorgeous too)

Echoes: my biased answer is to listen to every single line Ian Sinclair read for Berkut because he absolutely did NOT have to go that hard. My actual answer is to point you in the direction of the pegasus sisters Catria, Palla and Est, or maybe the older gentleman who's the head of the Priory, I forgot his name oops abbdbd. Also Clive is a devoted husband to one Mathilda, who looks just like an older version of his sister Clair 🤔

Three Houses: knowing you, you'd adore Hanneman--an older professor who's extremely passionate about his work, to the point where he tends to forget personal space and such. Also Seteth, like I mentioned before (join me in simping for him and his gorgeous pecs) and like, honestly, I know ppl make jokes about Alois but he's rlly good. Soft, awkward but he doesn't care, dad jokes everywhere. And also Mercedes, both because she's the biggest sweetheart imaginable and everyone should love her, but also bc she is just walking potential for the kinds of stuff you post on this blog. On one hand, she's the oldest student at the Academy and attached at the hip to one of the youngest, Annette (tho people act like they have a way bigger age gap then they actually do) and on the other hand, she has a long-lost half brother she can encounter (who I will not name for HUGE HUGE spoilers reasons) who she spends the rest of her life with in one of her endings. Heck, he has three possible endings total! Total!

Basically I brought the games up bc I'm used to being on the side of the fandom where everyone shoos anything uncomfortable under the rug, but there's so much material here that's being wasted I SWEAR

If you have any other questions I can send another anon? Your call! Thanks for hearing me out I love ur blog :3

OKAY!!! sorry for answering so late, but this ask was pretty much a BOOK (not that I´m complaining though! thank you so much! ;;u;;)

and from what I read here, I THINK if I´m going off on my first fire emblem adventure, I´ll try and pick up three houses if I get the chance! I have read your trigger warnings (thank you so much! ;u;) and I think I can take it! >:3

again though, I am really, really not a fan of anime and the anime artstyle in general (blergh! XP) so I´m not sure how I´ll cope with that in particular, but then again, an artstyle does not make a game! u3u

AND HANNEMAN SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER TO ME!! I looked him up and OOOF!!! he may not have NEARLY as many wrinkles as I´d like him to have, but the facial hair is definitely a step in the right direction! ;3c

NOW YOU GOT ME INTERESTED!! 

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

[littleandroidwrites]

a self para in shade claude dawoud

ft. hattie michaelson, because! imagine if i answered memes instead of doing flashback self paras. ugh i’d be too powerful.

It was dark, because it was late, but Claude wasn’t tired because when was he? Constant beast mode, twenty-four seven, three sixty fucking five.

Except, he was sitting down now, because Jesus Christ had he been lifting Hattie on and off for three hours.

“You’re not stretching.” Hattie said. Claude looked at her across from him on the mats, her legs out either side of her in a perfect split that Claude found both impressive and unnecessary. “If you don’t stretch, your muscles are going to –”

“Don’t lecture me about the body, Harriet.” Claude said, although notably he was now straightening from his slumped positioin, legs stretching out in front of himself. “I know all about the body.” 

Hattie didn’t respond to that, which he figured meant she was tired too. On top of their usual sessions, Aunt Alena had the both of them coming along to junior classes to do mini recitals for them, because some of the six year olds needed a little inspiration. I never needed inspiration, Hattie had said, but somehow it was still her and not Sloane who’d ended up getting roped into it. And Claude, because, well, he liked doing shit. Whether it was ballet or track or getting his loved ones in headlocks, Claude was only really fully himself when he was one hundred and ten percent something. Not one hundred and ten percent in something, but really it. When Claude danced, he was swift moving fluid that could snap into graceful lines at will. When Claude ran, he was a system made to pump adrenaline and move muscle to propel itself forward as quickly as possible. 

When Claude got people into headlocks – well actually in those moments, he was just being himself. But he was one hundred and ten percent himself, which was what mattered.

See, Hattie was like him in as much a way as someone who was entirely unlike him could be. Claude understood himself better through understanding his pseudo-cousin. Where he did things to expand, Hattie did things to contain. But they they still both felt an overwhelming desire to do, to keeping doing, to lose themselves inside of it. It was pure fucking chaos to Claude that when he jumped high into the air to do a sissonne, he had to make his body do exactly the opposite of what it wanted, to bend it into a beautiful shape, to make it land on one foot even though every instinct in his body was screaming you’re gonna break your fuckin’ leg. Hattie said she liked it because it meant she was in control. Claude knew that meant she thought sometimes she was gonna break a fucking leg, too. 

So anyway, here they were at eleven at night in the ballet studio that Aunt Alena had left them a key to. It was the third storey of a victorian-imitation building, which mostly just meant the rooms were big and echo-y and the floors were made of cherry wood. Mirrors lined one wall floor to ceiling, paned windows the other, and barres lined pretty much whatever free wall space was left. Street lights were a blur in the sky outside, dwarfed by the bright white light coming from a gentle hum above their heads. 

It seemed like kinda overkill to have the whole studio lit up like this just for the two of them, but a handful of hours ago there’d been a whole class of little kids, and then they’d kinda accidentally burned a few more hours practicing. Which wasn’t really that surprising to either of them. Claude was pretty sure Hattie didn’t spend a single second of her day doing nothing, which, samesies. That was why they always got along in a funny way. The difference was Claude still managed to have a life inside of his doing things. 

“Is Sloane still hanging around Paisley?” 

He bowed forward when he asked it, arms reaching for his toes. A familiar burn washed over the muscles of his lower back, and Claude went further, leaning into the sensation. 

“Hanging around.” He heard Hattie mumble. “Her girlfriend, you mean.” 

“Duh.” He sat back up, tucked his arm behind his head. 

“Yes. I think they’re fairly compatible, actually.” Hattie’s head angled to the left, followed by her torso, and she breathed into a side-stretch. “Sloane’s talking about moving in with her. I think they’re pretty serious.” 

Maybe, maybe not. Truth be told, Claude didn’t really care how serious Sloane was about her relationship. It was just that this was a good way to turn the topic around to that one time when Claude had been at Aunt Alena’s, and Paisley and her brother were there. 

And her sister.

“S’cute.” He said, because it was, right? Young love. And then, in a very casual way, “Does that mean River and Celeste are at yours all the time?” 

Now Hattie curled herself upright to frown at him. “Why would they be?” 

Claude shrugged. “Dunno. Aren’t your moms real close anyway? I thought maybe since a couple of their kids are together –”

“Not true.” Now Hattie listed forward slowly, hair falling in waves around her face before she fluidly came back up again. “I can’t be bothered to have a fake conversation with you. Say what you mean or be quiet.” 

“Dickhead. Can’t I just want to have a conversa–”

“Stop talking, Claude.” 

Fucks sake. He should’ve tried Sloane. “Fine. Fuck.” 

And they were quiet for a couple minutes. Eventually Claude got bored of stretching, leaned back on his elbows and settled for rolling his ankles. He noted that his leotard was too fucking close to his skin colour. Either he had to get a tan or he was buying green leggings. Maybe both. 

Except, now Hattie was looking at him.

“What?” 

“Nothing.”

“Liar! What?” 

“Well, obviously you want to know something about River or Celeste.” Hattie pursed her lips. “I’m just trying to figure out what.”

“I thought you were done with the conversation.”

“Done with you wasting my time, not caring what you had to say.” 

Aw. Claude smiled. “You fucking love me.” 

“I grew up with you. We see a lot of each other.” Hattie said it in the way that she said some things, like they were dismissals rather than just explanations. But Claude wasn’t gonna educate her on the spectrum of human emotion today. He was busy getting what he wanted. “Be honest. You’re interested in Celeste, aren’t you?” 

Celeste. It was such a pretty name. It fit her so well. Like celestial, like heavenly, like stars, like her eyes. 

He said, “Nah.” 

“Then River.”

“What? No.” 

Hattie’s expression turned smug. “So you do like Celeste.” 

“Didn’t I just say no to both?”

“Yes, but you were more incredulous when I asked you about River. Which either means on some level you were already comfortable with the idea of liking Celeste and therefore your reaction was more muted to that suggestion, or you’re a homophobe.” 

“Fuck off! I’m not a homophobe.” Claude sat up, scowling. “My dad’s gay. Both of my dads are gay! And I tell my guy friends I love them all the time!”

Hattie nodded. “So you like Celeste.”

“No!” Claude insisted. Hattie raised her eyebrows. “No.” She raised them higher. “Okay, so?!” 

Hattie sighed. “If you’d just trusted me to begin with, I wouldn’t have had to manipulate you like that. And for the record, saying you don’t like a man doesn’t make you a homophobe.” 

Claude grumbled, “I know that.” 

She shrugged. “Just so we’re on the same page.” 

Fucking Hattie. If she were so smart she would’ve known Claude had been obsessed with Celeste since they were sophmores, anyway. But then again she wasn’t great at those kinds of things, people things. She could tell you the square root of one thousand and forty eight (did all numbers have a square root or just special ones? Fuck if Claude had ever paid attention in, what was it, geometry?) in under five seconds, but put her in the middle of a crowded room with no structure or expectation to deliver a presentation on the solar system, and she was lost. 

He guessed he should give her a break. This was probably a big revelation to her. Maybe he was proud she knew people even liked other people at all. 

“What was it you wanted to know about her, then?” She asked, folding her legs criss-cross applesauce. 

Claude shrugged, easing back onto his palms. He was being coy, of course. He knew what he wanted to hear about. “I don’t know. Just wondered what she was up to. Hey, is she still seeing –”

“She’s still with Sebastian.” 

“Fucks sake.” 

“Yes. I think it’s been,” Hattie paused briefly to frown at the ceiling. “Four and a half years.” 

“They gotta be stale by now.” Claude muttered, which Hattie rolled her eyes at. “Seriously. Who dates someone when they’re fifteen and keeps the magic alive?” 

Hattie pursed her lips. “Sebastian’s nice. Some people like that.”

He scowled. “What would you know about Bash?” 

“Well, he was on the row team all through high school, and he still does it in college, which takes a lot of discipline –”

“Like I haven’t been doing ballet since I was a fucking baby.” 

“— and when I was sick for a week in junior year, he brought me the homework and gave me his notes.” Hattie smiled. “Which was very courteous.” 

He said flatly, “And you somehow stopped yourself from jumping his bones.” 

“I think what I’m communicating to you, Claude,” Oh, she sounded stern. She didn’t like his joke. “Is that there’s very little crossover between you and Sebastian. And even if there was, Celeste seems very happy with him, so I doubt you’d have a chance regardless.” 

Shit news. The same shitty news he’d been getting for years now. 

But Claude could fucking rally. “I have a class with her this year, though. Maybe they’ll be broken up by then.” 

Hattie was getting to her feet. “Unlikely.” 

“Look, science-fucker, isn’t that the whole point of the old man’s cat? Until you see the situation, it has an equal chance of being and not fucking being. Ergo,” Now he was speaking her language, “Celeste has equally dumped and not dumped Bash. I just gotta get in there on the dumped side of things.” 

The look Hatte was giving him was one of – you know what? Claude was gonna call it admiration. 

“Schrodinger’s cat, and that’s not really how it works, no. It’s about the observed electron –”

Claude started getting to his feet, too. “Sparknotes, Harriet.”

“Well, we’ve all observed that they’re together, so as long as you’re causing pandemonium in this timeline? I think you’re out of luck.” 

He grabbed his bag and then Hattie’s, mostly because he knew how much she hated it when he tried to carry her shit for her. He threw them both over his shoulder, even as she tried to grab at hers. 

“So if it’s about being observed,” He said, walking to the door at a very casual pace as Hattie tugged him backward by the straps of their bags, “Then something else can happen unobserved.” 

“You don’t understand Shrodinger’s cat, Claude, stop acting like you d –”

“So maybe she can be with him and not be with him. When no one’s looking. You know?” That was a window.

He’d take that.

[the-desolated-quill]

The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards - The Best of 2018

Hello and welcome, dear reader, to the greatest, most important awards ceremony in the history of entertainment. The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. The award of recognition that everyone on Earth covets even though they don’t know it. For the Quill Seal Of Approval is a most esteemed prize for hard work and artistry. Better than the Golden Globes, more prestigious than the BAFTAs and guaranteed to be more diverse than the Academy Awards. You know your film, novel, TV show or video game has achieved legendary status when some random nobody on the internet says it’s the best in some obscure top 10 list that’s read by only a couple of people. That’s the true sign of success.

First, a few parish notices. Obviously this is my subjective opinion, so if you disagree with my choices, that’s fine. Go make your own list. (also remember that my opinion is 100% objective, scientific, factual and literal truth and anyone who disagrees is clearly a philistine and a dummy and a poopy-head whose mum smells of elderberries). Also please bear in mind that I haven’t been able to experience everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, please don’t be upset that A Star Is Born isn’t on this list. I’m sure it’s as amazing as everyone says it is. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay. Let us begin.

Inside No. 9 - Series 4

BBC2′s Inside No. 9, written by the League of Gentlemen’s Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith, is an anthology series that’s often sadly overlooked, but it’s really worth a watch if you’re into shows like Black Mirror and The Twilight Zone, and this series in particular has been fantastic. We’ve had an episode written entirely in iambic pentameter, an episode whose chronology runs backwards, a live episode that really plays around with the format, episodes containing tragic and biting satire, and one especially twisted episode that brings out a side of Steve Pemberton we’ve never seen before. Series 4 has been a real treat from start to finish, with each episode beautifully written and expertly performed. Inside No. 9 deserves to share the same pedestal as Black Mirror, no question.

Black Panther

I’m sure everyone knows about my less than flattering views on the Marvel Cinematic Universe by now, which is what made Black Panther such a breath of fresh air for me. Stripping away all the convoluted crap, Black Panther has often been compared to The Dark Knight, and for good reason. Like The Dark Knight, this movie uses the superhero genre to tackle real social and political issues. In Black Panther’s case, exploring just what it means to be black in the modern world. Boasting an impressive cast of black actors, strong female characters, an engaging and complex antagonist, fantastic special effects and truly excellent direction from Ryan Coogler, Black Panther represents a new benchmark for Marvel, the superhero genre and the film industry in general. It proves how important and how lucrative diversity and representation in media can be, and it unintentionally shows how flawed the Marvel business model has become. The reason behind Black Panther’s success is simple. It’s because it’s bloody brilliant. And the reason it’s bloody brilliant is because Coogler was allowed to realise his own creative vision without Kevin Feige and Mickey Mouse breathing down his neck. Perhaps they should take note of that in future.

Deadpool 2

Of course Deadpool 2 is going to be on this list. Are you really surprised?

The Merc with the Mouth goes from strength to strength in the rare instance where the sequel is actually as good as, if not better than, the original. The first Deadpool was a great origin story for the character, but Deadpool 2 felt like an adventure ripped straight from the comics themselves. Crass, ultra violent and hysterically funny, Deadpool 2 is the crowning jewel of the X-Men franchise. Fan favourites such as Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Colossus return as well as new characters such as Domino, played by the exceptional Zazie Beetz, Cable, played by the astounding Josh Brolin, and Firefist, played by Julian Dennison who deserves all the success in the world because good God this kid can act!

But of course the star of the film is Deadpool himself with Ryan Reynolds once again proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he understands this character back to front. Not only is he hysterically funny, capturing the character’s irreverent tone perfectly, he also absolutely nails the tragic underpinnings of Deadpool that make him such a wonderful character. In between the f-bombs and gore are moments of real drama and emotional pathos as the film tackles themes such as loss, discrimination, abuse and suicidal depression. All this whilst taking the piss out of 2017′s Logan. 

Oh yeah, and it also features the first openly LGBT superheroes in cinematic history. Fuck you Disney! NegaYukio and Poololosus for the win! LOL! No, but seriously, now that you have the rights to X-Men back, if you try and censor Deadpool in any way, shape or form, I will kick your arse.

God Of War (2018)

“BOY!”

Yes Kratos is back, having successfully destroyed the world of Greek mythology and now has his eyes on the Norse Gods. And he has a son now. What could possibly go wrong?

Seriously though, this new God Of War is simply exquisite. While I have long admired the God Of War franchise for its interpretation and adaptation of Greek mythology, the previous games in the series have never exactly been the most sophisticated when it comes to storytelling (and the less said about the casual sexism, the better. Yes Sony, I promise I understand the thematic reasons behind playing a minigame that allows you to have sex with Aphrodite in God Of War 3, but it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s sexist as shit). God Of War 2018 changes all that with an intelligent and engaging story that allows us understand and connect with Kratos at a more personal level than we’ve ever done before. Taking place years after God Of War 3, Kratos is older, wiser and trying to raise his son Atreus in the hopes that he won’t make the same mistakes Kratos did in his past. Not only is the story amazing, continuing the franchise’s themes of vengeance and the strained relationships between parents and their children, the gameplay is also a ton of fun with many memorable moments and boss fights.

And as an added bonus, we get two strong female characters that aren’t treated like discardable sex objects. That was nice of them.

Incredibles 2

The long awaited sequel to The Incredibles finally arrived in 2018 and it did not disappoint. Incredibles 2 was everything I could have wanted and more. Continuing on from the events of the first movie, we see Elastigirl take the spotlight as she fights the Screenslaver whilst trying to persuade the worlds’ governments to lift the ban on superheroes. Meanwhile Mr. Incredible takes a back seat as he tries to reconnect with his kids Violet, Dash and Jack-Jack and prove he can be a good, supportive dad. 

Continuing to draw inspiration from Fantastic Four, X-Men and Watchmen, Incredibles 2 is... well... incredible. Expanding the world he created, Brad Bird tells a smart, funny and compelling story that stands head and shoulders above the majority of superhero movie fodder we get nowadays. Elastigirl flourishes in the lead role this time around and the kids get a lot more development, the Screenslaver is a great villain that compliments the themes of the franchise wonderfully, and we get to see a whole bunch of new characters such as Voyd and the Deavor siblings as well as the return of old favourites like Frozone and Edna Mode. 

Honestly, the baby alone is worth the price of admission. Hopefully we won’t have to wait another fourteen years for Incredibles 3.

Marvel’s Spider-Man

Marvel’s Spider-Man is an amazing game. But of course you knew that already. It’s made by Insomniac Games, the same guys behind Ratchet & Clank. Of course it was going to be brilliant.

Simply put, this game does for Spider-Man what the Arkham games did for Batman. Not only is it a great game with brilliant combat and fun web swinging mechanics, it also has a great story worthy of the wall crawler. Unlike the movies, which seem to continuously yank Peter Parker back into high school with each new reboot as those the poor bastard were attached to the fucker on a bungee rope, this Spidey has been fighting crime for eight years. With great power comes many responsibilities as we see him struggle to juggle crime fighting, his new job as a scientist, his commitments to helping Aunt May at the F.E.A.S.T shelter and trying to win his ex Mary Jane Watson back after a six month split. It’s a brilliant story featuring many classic villains such as Shocker and Electro as well as lesser known villains like Screwball and the criminally underrated Mister Negative who finally gets to be the central antagonist in a Spider-Man adaptation. It’s fun to play, engaging, dramatic and really emotional at points. I cried real tears at the end. What a punch to the gut that was.

OOOOOH! And we might be getting to play as Miles Morales in the sequel! I sure hope so! :D

The Grinch

At this point I imagine many of you are scratching your heads. 

“Really Quill? The Grinch? Illumination’s The Grinch? This deserves the Quill Seal Of Approval? Are you sure?” Yes dear reader, I’m absolutely sure. Just hear me out.

It’s true that the majority of Dr Seuss adaptations are shit. While the live action version of the Grinch starring Jim Carrey has a cult following and is fondly remembered by some, it’s still pretty crap, and even Illumination themselves screwed up royally with their adaptation of The Lorax. But this new Grinch is truly excellent. For starters, the animation is gorgeous. This is clearly the format that works best for Seuss movies. Benedict Cumberbatch does a really good job voicing the character, giving him depth and complexity beyond just being a big old meanie. The film also has something no other Seuss film has ever had before. Subtlety. Illumination have clearly learned their lesson after The Lorax. They’re no longer bashing you over the head with a moral message. They’re not trying to over-complicate a simple story by adding pointless sub-plot after pointless sub-plot. In fact the bits they do add actually feed into the main core of the narrative, as opposed to The Lorax, which just confused things. And while there are cute Minion-esque sidekicks like there are in a lot of Illumination films, The Grinch limits it to two (Max the dog and a reindeer named Fred), they’re both legitimately funny, serve an important narrative purpose and don’t distract from the more serious and emotional moments.

In all honesty, I was debating between giving the Quill Seal of Approval to The Grinch or to Bumblebee (the first legitimately good Transformers movie), but I decided to go with The Grinch because of how it handles the character and the story’s message. A lot of people scoffed at the idea of giving the Grinch a back story (and to the film’s credit they don’t force the issue or over-explain where the Grinch came from) but it’s honestly what makes this new adaptation of The Grinch so special to me. He’s gone from being a Scrooge-like monster to an anxiety filled misanthrope who associates Christmas with being alone. It may sound like a jarring change on paper, but in practice it honestly works so well and adds a whole new dimension to the Grinch. It’s treated with absolute care and sincerity and the film really earns its emotional moments, particularly at the end when we see the Grinch sit down to have Christmas dinner with the Whos.

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you give this new Grinch a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised :)

Doctor Who - Series 11

A woman?! In the TARDIS?! How absurd!

Jodie Whittaker made history as the first woman to play the Doctor and the new series doesn’t disappoint. Whittaker is predictably brilliant in the role, giving the character compassion, charm and wit. We also get a new bunch of companions (including the always brilliant Bradley Walsh as Graham) who all have some great moments in Series 11 and the relationships they form with each other is incredibly touching and fun to watch. But the writing, my God, the writing. Admittedly not every episode has been perfect, but it’s leagues above anything Moffat has given us during his disastrous reign. The majority of Series 11 has been well written and intelligent, tackling important and relevant social issues (something Doctor Who has always been doing and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot) and focusing on likeable and relatable characters rather than convoluted series arcs. We got to meet Rosa Parks, witness the partition of India, and ponder on the dangers of automation whilst the Doctor tries to save the world from bubble wrap. Oh, and the Daleks are scary again! I know! I couldn’t believe it either!

What makes this all the more remarkable is who the showrunner is. Chris Chibnall. A writer I’ve often criticised in the past for being derivative and shit, and yet somehow he’s managed to create some of the best Doctor Who I’ve seen in a long time. Not only has his writing improved dramatically since his Torchwood days, he’s also demonstrated a commitment to having diverse representation both in front of and behind the camera as well as in the scripts themselves. For the first time in what feels like an age, Doctor Who feels like Doctor Who again, and I’m ecstatically happy.

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse

How come we don’t see many animated superhero movies in the cinema? Considering the medium from which superheroes came from, you’d think it would be a no-brainer. Presumably it’s because Disney have got such a strangle hold on the animation market, but that’s hopefully going to change thanks to Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (or, Sony’s Repentance for The Emoji Movie).

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. The animation is gorgeous. It’s pretty much an animated comic book and it stands out as one of the most unique looking animated films in recent memory. Spider-Verse is essentially a love letter to the legacy of Spider-Man as we see multiple different versions of Spidey, including Spider-Gwen, Spider-Ham and Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider cosplaying as Spider-Man Noir, demonstrating not only the sheer variety of Spider-Men we’ve had over the years, but also exploring what connects them together. With all these different interpretations across many different universes, the idea of Spider-Man comes to the same thing. An ordinary person who experiences tragedy and becomes something greater. It’s hopeful and inspirational in a way Spider-Man films hasn’t been for a while now (Spider-Man: Homecoming sucked donkey balls. Period).

But let’s not forget that while the film explores the Spider-Verse, the main focus is Miles Morales who finally makes his cinematic debut. Not only is it a very faithful adaptation of Ultimate Spider-Man’s origin story, Miles himself is such a great central character for the modern age and arguably has more relevance to today than Peter Parker does. The characters are funny and relatable and the story is expertly crafted and impactful. But then what do you expect from the writers and directors of The Lego Movie? (if only Disney hadn’t interfered with Solo: A Star Wars Story. We could have had it all).

Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle

This one kind of snuck up on me toward the end of December, but I knew the moment I saw it I had to include it on this list.

Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle is an adaptation of The Jungle Book with Andy Serkis making his directorial debut. Yes the same guy who did the motion capture for Gollum in Lord Of The Rings and Caesar in the rebooted Planet Of The Apes movies and who totes deserves an Oscar for Best Actor (fuck you Academy Awards!), and he brings this same motion capture technology to this film. Unlike Disney’s Jungle Book, which merely rehashes the original animated film whilst somehow stripping all the charm from it, Mowgli sticks closer to the original Rudyard Kipling book. This isn’t a cheery musical. This film is often dark and intense as we see Mowgli (played wonderfully by Rohan Chand) struggle to find his place in the world. He knows he doesn’t belong with the animals in the jungle, but he doesn’t really fit in with the world of man neither. It’s an emotional and dramatic character piece brought to life by great writing, great acting and stunning special effects. 

Andy Serkis has expressed a desire to do an adaptation of George Orwell’s Animal Farm, and after watching this movie, I would love to see that. If you haven’t already, go watch Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle. It’s available to stream on Netflix and it’s truly amazing.

And that’s it for 2018. Congratulations to the winners of this year’s Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. Unfortunately we’re on a limited budget here on The Desolated Quill, so I can’t offer any sort of trophy or medal or anything. What I can do though is write the words ‘I’m an awesome cookie’ on a post-it note and stick it on your forehead. Will that do?

[amyperonayoga]

say it in a letter

When my kids left for school I set a goal to write them a letter at least once a month.  I would do this through a card that I had purchased adding my own note inside or just on a plain piece of paper that I would stick in an envelope and send off to them.  Not a text, not an email, no emoji’s but instead a hand written letter from me to each of them.  I would “say it in a letter” that they could keep for a lifetime.  

When my dad died I didn’t understand then, how important it would be to have something of his that was written just to me.  I will not make the same mistake with my own children.  This, and a story Jim told me forever changed the value I placed on taking the time to write letters to my children, friends, family and even acquaintances.

Emma was leaving for college and as her parents we were wrestling with the million emotions that come with sending your child off to school.  We were reminiscing about when we were in college and how it felt to be away from home for the first time.  Keep in mind there wasn’t email and you called people from the phone that had a long spiral cord attached to it and usually hung from the wall.  To keep in touch you wrote letters and waited patiently for those precious moments you knew someone would be near a phone to answer it.  This is how I remember being away from home for the first time - letters, stamps, cards, and phone calls.  I was in Davenport, IA and Jim was in Champaign, IL.  As the youngest of six children Jim’s parents had gone through the “sending your kid off to school” thing, so naturally I assumed they had this down to a science.  What I didn’t know was this science included writing letters.

As a young 18 year old I was definitely intimidated by LJ Perona.  I didn’t necessarily see him as someone who would write you a letter.  Only much later in my life did I see this characteristic in him.  Family was at the center of everything he did and he let you know this by organizing endless family reunions and staying at the dinner table long after the meal was finished to hear about your day.  I learned on one of the nights we were preparing to send Emma off that Jim’s dad wrote him letters while was away at school.  Naturally I thought to myself if LJ Perona did it, then it certainly is a good thing.  

While we away at college our mode of communication - hand written letters.  We sent them, or at least I did on what seemed like a weekly basis, and while we were doing that, Jim was also receiving letters from his dad. (INSERT HEART EMOJI).  I still have all of the letters tucked away for our kids.  I imagine someday they will find them nostalgic and give a glimpse into their young parents relationship.  

All of this instantly made me think about my dad. (HAPPENS A LOT)  I had nothing like that from him - no letter, nothing in his handwriting, nothing that spoke about his wishes, hopes and dreams for me - nothing. This led to a massive search on my end for anything I could find that he had written.  After scouring through the limited amount of things I had,  I finally found something , “Me giving my first class at Kennedy Grade School, Nov. 6, 1978.” Not exactly what I was hoping for but it was something and it was his handwriting. 

I don’t remember my dad’s handwriting but why would I.  Like so many things as a young girl that I took for granted, I didn’t know then why this would even matter.  Why the sound of his voice, his smell, impeccable style, smile, shape of his hands, and even his handwriting would be something I longed for later in my life. The lesson: never take anything for granted. 

Instead of being bitter that this photo didn’t contain a message to me,  I rejoiced.  Anything was better than nothing.  I also knew at this moment I would never leave my own children clinging to one single photo, so I grabbed my favorite pen and started to write.  Letter upon letter, some quick and some long, but every single stroke of the pen gave a glimpse into my love, hopes and dreams for them.  A memory they could hold onto forever.   Just like the many letters Jim’s dad wrote to him and Jim and I exchanged with each other as young college kids.  

Today, I write and send out handwritten cards and letters as often as possible.(NOTE: I NEED A CARD COMPANY TO SPONOR MY HABIT)  If you receive one from me know it comes from a place of absolute LOVE and HOPE and an honest and authentic wish that it inspires you to do the same.  In the days of text messages, emoji’s and e-cards, a written note by hand probably seems hopelessly outdated.  We’ve even reached the point where some schools are discontinuing the cursive form of handwriting finding it archaic (SIGH).  My wish is that you see and feel the charm of a handwritten letter as a timeless treasure.  No matter what your schedule looks like, there is is always time to write a letter.  There is no emoji that can replicate the feeling of receiving this.  It will always offer an experience that modern technology and invisible superhighways cannot touch.  My ask of each of you today - write a letter to someone who has touched your heart.  Send your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other a love letter.  Write your children a letter that details all of your wishes, hopes and dreams for them.  Reach out to a friend you haven’t connected with in far too long.  Put down your cell phone, pick up your pen, and buy a stamp.  

xo and cheers to notes, letters and the US postal system 

[yogaadvise]

Meditation for Childbirth: How to Calm Your Nerves Before Labor

One of the most interesting times in a female's life is when she learns that she is anticipating a kid. Sensations of excitement around starting a brand-new family-- or contributing to it-- consume the brand-new mommy-to-be's ideas nonstop. Will it be a girl or a boy? Will he resemble his dad? Will she have my eyes? What shade should the baby room be? What will we name her?

The first numerous months of pregnancy are a settling-in period as the brand-new moms and dads get utilized to the idea that a child is on the means. One recently expectant mama said, “I invest the mass of my time considering my health and wellness, what I'm eating as well as consuming alcohol to make sure that I'm showing the best nutrients feasible for my growing baby. I'm also observing the scenarios around me a lot more, as well as being conscious to stay clear of emotional anxiety as well as dramatization. I'm being much more conscious of exterior sounds, like conversations that are being had and also music that is playing. I'm going a lot more with Mozart over acid rock," she laughs.

As maternity continues, and also the female's body begins to transform, she goes via a brand-new cycle of ideas, some of them counting on problems, anxieties, and also anxiety. " What will my body appear like after I deliver?" "Just how much is this mosting likely to hurt?" "What happens if I can not deal with the pain of experiencing labor?" "Exactly how will I know what to do?" "Suppose I make mistakes?" These are all flawlessly typical ideas, and also the stress that can come with these fears can have an unfavorable effect.

The Impacts of Your Emotion on Your Child

It's no trick that in lots of old cultures discovered around the globe, it is believed that the feelings of an anticipating mother have a direct impact on her unborn youngster. Stress and anxiety as well as stress and anxiety have a destructive effect on the physical body, and also when a female is with child, it's fairly feasible that her psychological states can have both instant and lasting impacts on her brand-new baby.

The fight-or-flight reaction is your genetically wired survival device that kicks in anytime there is a perceived threat to your atmosphere or presence. Anything that stresses you out, from the little things to the greatest-- as well as every little thing in between-- creates your physiology to automatically go into fight-or-flight mode. During this survival reaction, some of the biological impacts, along with the issues they contribute to, are the following:

Increase in high blood pressure and heart stress and anxiety contributes to coronary heart disease

Increase in sticky platelets adds to cardiovascular disease and strokes

Increase in stress hormonal agents adds to stress and anxiety, sleeping disorders, as well as addictions

Increase in blood sugar level adds to diabetes mellitus and also obesity

Decrease in circulation to digestive tract adds to gastrointestinal disturbances

Decrease in growth as well as sex hormonal agents adds to early aging

Decrease in immunity adds to infections and cancer

The much more often the mother experiences , the much more regularly this is registered with her expected kid. By 6 months in utero, an unborn child is currently mentally aware as well as receptive to both parents' feelings, along with the atmosphere the mommy discovers herself in. Stressful emotions like rage, unhappiness, and anxiety can be moved to the coming infant that is currently able to experience visual, acoustic, kinesthetic, as well as gustatory sensory perception.

Stress Outcomes on Your Child's Development

According to Katarina C. Johnson, Ph.D., some of the anxiety outcomes of the various phases of the child's advancement are as adheres to:

Prenatal tension as well as perinatal outcomes

Shorter gestation and greater incidence of preterm birth

Smaller birth weight and also length

Increased risk of miscarriage

Prenatal stress as well as infant outcomes

Temperamental troubles as well as enhanced fussiness

Problems with attention, focus law, and psychological reactivity

Lower ratings on actions of mental development

Prenatal stress and anxiety as well as kid outcomes

Hyperactivity as well as negligence in boys

Emotional troubles in ladies as well as boys

Conduct problems in girls

Psychologists at the University of Denver are likewise considering exactly how time in the womb influences a child's life program. In their work, Dr.'s Davis and Kim are likewise particularly concentrated on how stress and anxiety, both prenatally as well as postnatally, affects a mommy's bond with her youngster. In conclusion, it's clear that anxiety as well as anxiousness have a damaging effect on both mom and baby.

One of the largest elements that can soothe laboring ladies-- as well as the people supporting them-- of their anxiousness as they get ready for childbirth is to stay concentrated on favorable thoughts and also language. This opts for inner discussion (how she speaks with herself) along with external conversations with the people around her. Words of inspiration as well as supportive language will make a world of distinction in exactly how she experiences giving birth overall.

As the due date obtains more detailed, several women begin to obtain nervous concerning what their labor as well as child-birthing experience will certainly resemble. Certainly, the anticipating mom will have read a lot of short articles and heard even more than her share of not-so-pleasant tales regarding delivering, and she may be beginning to feel anxiousness around what to anticipate when the time comes. Here is a comforting visualization procedure created to aid relieve the nervous vibes before giving birth.

Guided Reflection for Soothing Stress And Anxiety Prior To Providing Birth

Find a comfy, seated placement utilizing pillows to support your body and a blanket if you are quickly chilled.

Close your eyes and also take some relaxing breaths in and out via your nose.

As you link to your breathing and also exhalation, use your breath as a device to aid you resolve right into a calmness, focused and balanced state.

Relax your shoulders, your abdomen, as well as your hips, allowing on your own to merge where you sit.

Begin by doing a complete body scan, beginning at your toes and going up your body. Notice any tension in your physical body or stress and anxiety in your mind.

Simply observe whatever you are experiencing, giving it a tag and also recognizing its presence.

Connect with what it is, especially, that you discover on your own really feeling anxious or stressed about.

Next, picture yourself drifting up over where you are resting as well as out into the future.

Go out into the future until you are 15 mins past the effective conclusion of the occasion you were really feeling nervous about.

Allow your emphasis to be on one of the most favorable, ideal feasible outcome instead, as your end result.

While you exist, talk with your expected baby as well as inform it just how much you love it, that everything is going to go smoothly, which you're delighted for the arrival of your new package of joy (or whatever else enters your mind).

Talk with on your own, offering yourself positive suggestions and also caring words of support, once again permitting your emphasis to be on one of the most positive, finest feasible outcome as your end result.

When you are all set, transform about and also recall towards currently as well as observe how all the occasions in between after that and now re-evaluate themselves to support the most positive outcome.

Notice just how the anxiety has totally disappeared, and also then come back to currently and picture drifting pull back right into your body where you sit.

Take a few deep breaths prior to gradually opening your eyes as well as returning into the here and now moment.

Notice that you currently really feel a lot more relaxed mentally, that you are a lot more serene mentally, as well as your physique feels a lot more at ease.

Feel complimentary to repeat this led visualization anytime you are feeling anxiousness and also make sure that you are dealing with something certain each time you do it. This led meditation will assist you to let go of the stress and anxiety and feel more unwinded, present, and also positive about you as well as your baby's future.

Remember that offering your infant a healthy and balanced physical, psychological, and also emotional beginning begins with the moms and dads during pregnancy. When asked, a mom of two recently shared that as she's preparing yourself to welcome her youngster into the globe, she visualizes every little thing going well for herself as well as for the birth process. She imagines holding her pleased, healthy baby in her arms, as well as later on enjoying her little bundle of joy creeping around and laughing, a satisfied little baby in excellent health.

Leave tension and also anxiety behind, as well as discover just how to discover your tranquil facility in also one of the most frantic situations at our six-day Perfect Health retreat. Learn More.

[mandimormon-blog]

“There Was a Problem in Africa.”

*Ninjago Birthday How-to (below)

I lied.  I lied and I have to admit it.  The last time I wrote a blog, I lied.

Sure, I didn’t realize I was lying. I guess it’s like addiction to something and being in super denial. Remember?  I went off on a crazy tangent of being busy and having a bunch of lists.  In conclusion of that, I mentioned a bunch of crap about living life presently, throwing out the lists and stressing less.  

The lie is - I can’t live without lists.  Lists complete me.  Lists make me feel like (regardless of reality) I’m in control and I have a plan in action.  There. I admitted it.

It’s been an Adventurous April full of busyness and fun.  The rest of the summer is looking quite productive, too.   How about kicking off with a Top 10 List (in order of occurrence) to initiate a blog, all of the things we’ve experienced this month (maybe more, but I didn’t write so I’ve forgotten) and how about one word to best describe each experience?  

1.       General Conference –  Inspirational

2.       Pennies for the Park – Motivational

3.       Time Out for Women – Edifying

4.       Lip Sync Battle – Spirited

5.       Piano Recital – Proud

6.       Passover Dinner – Insightful

7.       Easter – Love

8.       Jude’s Birthday – Happiness

9.       Subbing & Field Tripping – Educational

10.   Jude’s Ninjago Party – Energetic

Don’t worry.  I got photos.  I’m thrilled to share.

5. Piano Recital – I describe as proud because I am so proud of my girls.  It takes a lot of courage to get up there and perform in front of an audience.  This was Remi’s first piano recital.  She’s also Mr. Thompson’s youngest student because he likes to wait until 2nd grade to start kiddos, when they have a better concept of reading, and possibly because they’re more committed to practicing.  Remi loves piano and she was super inspired by an older student singing and playing the piano, at conclusion of the recital.  She is aspires to do the same.  This recital was Reis’s third one.  She’s started second semester, her first year.  She enjoys it, also, she wants to stick with it to avoid playing a musical instrument in the band.  I don’t know if we have a deal, but I’m thinking about making a compromise with her.  If she continues piano and runs cross country, we’ll call it even.  ;-D

2 6, 9 Medley - This was my FB update on Holy Week >> This week, our family has (ok.. maybe I have) selected activities to focus on the Holy Week and our Savior. For Family Home Evening tonight, we choose to do a Passover Dinner. The symbolism and meaning behind each element of the dinner was enlightening and fascinating (World Religions are intriguing to me). 

The obedience and sacrifice of those faithfully practicing is admirable. Christ, we know, partook of a Passover Dinner as the Last Supper. It was interesting to try those foods and pray in a particular manner, as well, wash, sing, and drink juice. Each item on our Seder (say-der) Plate (meaning 'order') had symbolism from Exodus, when the Israelites were freed of bondage from Pharaoh. 

Several sites had mixed beliefs about what the egg represented. Some say it's a sign of Spring. Others say it represented the people becoming stronger under the extreme conditions.Our Matzah was broken and passed at the table, it's a flat cracker-like "bread". It was said it didn't have time to rise as the people fled. It was also a sign of a poor man's bread. A piece was broken, wrapped in cloth, and hidden for the children to later find. The seeker then was often rewarded with a toy or candy. Perhaps the beginning of Easter Egg Hunting? Only a speculation.  I wasn't aware of just how diligent some treat the Passover. 

Did you know some clean or should I say sanitize their homes even with q-tips or toothpicks to remove all leavened bread? Some even dispose of dishes or utensils to make these Chavetz (bread, cereal, cake, grains). They will not feed it to their cattle nor pets during this 7-8 day Passover period. (I'm sure those practicing this religion can probably sympathize with a gluten-free life.)So we've brushed up on our Jewish Culinary Skills as well as our terminology. I think It's safe to say we have a new family tradition.

Pennies for the Park was a two-week campaign

Time Out for Women was incredible.  I learned so much or maybe realized so much.  With the message of enduring and having faith, speakers spoke of their own struggles, stories, and examples.  One I loved was about internalizing what we learn and grace.  He mentioned how it would be so simple if it in the moment we wanted something, it magically appeared, like *Poof* like Harry Potter.  I want to by skinny. *poof* or I want to fluently speak Spanish *poof*   Change without challenge isn’t change.  Internalizing is a learning process.  It’s through the learning process we learn.   I’m not sure anyone remembers the exact day they learned the alphabet or the pledge of allegiance because it took a lot of days or weeks or practices to finally get it.  Repetition. Remember my story about the prepositions?  Just like that.  It took a long time, therefore it was stored in my memory forever.  

What about music?  My kids were floored, I think I mentioned, when I could sing along with the Trolls movie while we were watching it in the theater.  It’s because I knew those songs (they were remakes).  I have a library of music in my brain, just hanging out. Yet, it was challenging to learn the veins and arteries in the human body and identify them in a cadaver during Anatomy and Physiology II in college.  (I always say that was because the human body isn’t color coded like a health textbook.)  Guess how many arteries and veins I remember?   Maybe four.   Short-term memory is different than long-term, or things we internalize.  

Wilcox said our Heavenly Father can instantly prepare a mansion for us, but we won’t be prepared instantly for one.  We can’t cram for final judgement or the test of life.  It takes time.  The learning process is just as important as the end results.  

I just love that

Apparently, it was longer than I guessed on last blog date. 

After lots of hard work, learning the Thriller (Michael Jackson) choreography as a youth group, we performed at the Lip Sync Battle and took home the trophy. These boys and girls worked hard practice after practice and it showed! 

I am personally thankful for YouTube, the Salvation Army, and all of our Brothers and Sisters that helped us through this process.  YouTube has an amazing tutorial by Funk Mode that can teach you, step-by-step, that energetic Zombie routine.  The Danville Salvation Army had a 25 cent sale on the first Saturday of April.  I hustled over so I could get back before Conference started.  Remi and I picked out anything we saw that would work, black pants, white tops, to create our Zombie costumes.  So, I spent $10.75 for 43 articles of clothing.  Those pieces were didn’t butcher were donated back.  With the chosen pieces, and help from YouTube, we took a steak knife to shred and fray and dye (in spray bottles) to add our bloody, sweat, and grime.  Cocoa powder (from the kitchen cabinet) for dirt and voila!  TJ was our Michael Jackson with the authentic costume from the music video. I saved our costumes for Halloween, too.  I couldn’t trash them.Make-up and hair by our own personal design team.  Sister Julian, our sister missionaries, and Sister Heath (who did the authentic wounds). They are oh SO talented.  This was probably the best event ever.  Who doesn’t love Thriller?    

Our son turned six.  My baby.  The blog title, as you may have wondered was another classic Jude quote.  I didn’t laugh even though inside I was dying.  On Friday, around 6:45 a.m. I saw the school’s number show up on my cell phone.  I wasn’t out of bed yet, but I tried clearing my throat to sound awake.  It didn’t work.  I sounded like an 80 year-old binge smoker.   Still, I accepted the invitation to sub and surprisingly when I showed up, I realized within the half hour I’d be attending a field trip.  It was about safety and I didn’t realize how much these nine year-olds needed this until one little boy came up to me and explained how he’d answered a question about ATV safety with a particular answer because his dad taught him how to drive an ATV without safety gear.  He explained you go slow and take corners slowly.  Oh dear.

I was expecting my youngest son to go on a field trip that day, too.  But when he and his buddy came into my classroom after school he said they didn’t go.  I was confused and asked why not?  His response, “There was a problem in Africa.”You may be confused as to why a problem in Africa would eliminate a field trip in Indiana.  Or maybe you’re questioning where he was going. He meant “Attica”.  They were going to see a movie in Attica, but apparently a citizen there had been building bombs.  I’m so thankful our school corporation is on top of the happenings in this area and puts students #1 when it comes to safety.  

Another hilarious (to me) conversation we had was during our drive to a birthday party, we were late for, this weekend.  I was chatting with him about another buddy of his and telling him his father was a cop. Jude was fascinated with this.  He told me that’s why his other buddy loved cops and wanted to be one.  I then said I think he may also work at the prison.  Maybe I should’ve said correctional facility, but Jude latched right on with continued fascination.  His response was, “Wow… that’s cool.  Can we take a field trip to the prison?”

Inside, I died.  I could only imagine a kindergarten field trip to the prison, “Here children, this is what happens when you don’t listen to your teachers.” or “Here’s another option of a life choice.” (Sidebar – I’m kidding, that’s very light-hearted and not meant to be judgmental)Instead I answered Jude by saying, “Maybe you should ask your teacher about doing that.”  That should be an interesting conversation with my son, whose favorite color is orange.

You should probably take this moment to feel sympathy for my husband regarding the invention of Pinterest. Have I mentioned I have a Doctorate in Pinterest Research?

Here’s my Asian dining table, my husband constructed for.  Surrounded by this I found an amazing steal on silky pillow cases at Dollar Tree (Yes, $1 each).  However, I only had about 7 pillows, I borrowed 5 from my mother.  Since I needed approximately 9 more, I began stuffing blankets and stuffed animals in the remaining pillow cases to finish my seating.  

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always wanted to eat dinner at a low-floor table.  I mean all my life, I thought it would be the coolest thing ever.  So, I made my dream come true, vicariously.

Speaking of vicariously, or not-so-vicariously, did you notice my husband?  Sensei Allen.  As a child he wanted a Ninja Party.  In Jude’s case, when you’re young, daddy has mad-tool-skills, you want a NInjago party, and your mom has her Doctorate in Pinterest Research, you get a fun, entertaining ninja training course party to become Masters of Spinjitzu.  

If you’re local, the cake and cookies were inspired by Pinterest and made by Cookie Grandma (Attica) or should I say Africa?  She’s on Facebook and her prices cannot be beat! 

Ninjas had to breakdown a block wall (since this is a Lego thing), to pass off one of their areas of training.  These are simply boxes, I hadn’t recycled, wrapped in Dollar Tree kraft paper. 

I created this on our way home from Conner Prairie during the first week of Spring Break.  But I’m not giving myself all of the credit, it’s a spin-off of multiple ideas on Pinterest.  

My husband crafted these swords.  The Elders tried to convince him to place a thin strip of PVC through the center, but he insisted moms would be mad if the swords could cause real injury.  This sweet Elder remembered from his youth how to make Ninja Stars.  He probably regrets remembering because I sent him home with 30 pieces of card stock the day before the party to make 30 of them.  The little boys and girls LOVED knocking down crepe-paper wrapped toilet paper and paper towel rolls using their Ninja Stars.  It also was part of their training.

Sensei says (a knock-off of Simon Says) with Sensei Allen.  

The opening of gifts.  This was complete chaos so I only know from Jude’s recollection what came from where, but he was elated by all he received and was super happy.   Notice the shirts.  You may have been thinking wow, that’s over the top and expensive.  Actually, it was cheap and a great alternative to a goody bag.  These t-shirts came from Dollar Tree, that’s right, $1 Youth t-shirts.  I used printable, iron-on sheets from Hobby Lobby to print and iron on the Ninjago eyes.  Sure, the quality isn’t amazing and after a few washes they make begin to fade or peel but that’s a fabulous play shirt and for the party, it was perfect.  Those party favors cost less than $2.00 each!  That’s a win in my book. 

Same with the personalized Ninja headbands.  This idea was cute but it was genius when the kids arrived and things got crazy.  Every kid had a name tag.  We didn’t have to be like “Hey You!” or “Little Boy!” we called each child by their name because it was plastered across their forehead.  I highly recommend this, parents. 

Again, something fun and affordable.  I purchased 3 yards of white fabric from Hobby Lobby (with the 40% coupon) and ironed on the names printed, using the free font called “Karate”.

Jude, is breaking the wood (Balsa Wood which is more foam than wood) - this was the last test to become Masters of Spinjitzu.  Then they earned their ninja swords for a battle with Sensei.  Which was comical when he took every kid on at the same time. 

After each child went through the course, it was basically a free-for-all. 

Happy Birthday!  We had cake, cookies, ice cream, and some authentic chinese food like rice, wontons, and spring rolls.  All of the kiddos had chop sticks but they preferred using those like drum sticks.  We also had a spread of fruits and veggies, and cheese.  I printed the Ninja eyes from Pinterest, free.  I got most of our paper products at Dollar Tree, including the disposable table covering.  Lucky Bamboo came from Meijer for only $1.75 each.  I told my husband they were going to be so lucky it would be a dry, beautiful Saturday.  (Since cold rain was in the forecast).  Guess what?  We got lucky!  It was beautiful!  

Before the Sensei, Master Teacher Battle. 

That’s how you throw an Ultimate Ninjago-themed Birthday Party!  I give you these pointers, because if you haven’t watched Lego Batman, you may not have seen the preview for Lego Ninjago the Movie that’s coming out this fall.  It’s going to be BIG, my friends.  Prepare yourselves.  Your sons will request this.  

Running with Reis, my dream has come true!  Seriously, this girl wants to train for her mile run in a couple of weeks.  This makes me SUPER happy!! 

FHE on the Lawn.  Using our Asian-inpsired table.  BYOP (Bring Your Own Pillow) or in this case, we used our tire tubes from the party. 

Dr. Remi, the Vet.  She loved typing at this computer and giving orders to her peers at the Terre Haute Children’s Museum.  This place was amazing! 

Competition is this weekend.  Full dress, makeup rehearsal this past week.  Remi loves ballet and Miss Faye. 

I always try to catch her leap.  I should hold it down but I keep forgetting.  This was on the way down.  She amazes me. 

Gram is renovating, and this is one of her helpers! 

I think that’s it, in a nutshell that only took a couple of hours to put together.

May the lists be ever in your favor.  As I hope making them will simplify recollection for my blog posts.  Have a great week (I hope it’s only a week) or month!  

[daleisgreat]

WWE Wrestlemania 32

Welcome to my yearly look at last year's Wrestlemania. We are a few days shy of Wrestlemania 33 transpiring in Orlando, FL. Like last year's entry, I will be covering everything on the Wrestlemania 31 BluRay. That includes the entire WM31 card, the three kickoff show matches and the entire Hall of Fame ceremony. This is always my favorite wrestling weekend of the year because WWE floods us with an insurmountable amount of top-tier programming so I cannot help but go into wrestling super-fan mode as I anticipate Wrestlemania weekend in general, no matter what the card and lineup is. As usual, let's start with the Hall of Fame ceremony that preceded WM31 by a couple days. The Godfather (aka Kama/Papa Shango) was the first inductee and he got inducted by the APA. Their induction had a lot of jokes riffing off of classic Godfather stories. Godfather kept his speech short and sweet and delighted the crowd by hitting his sing-a-long catch phrases and dancing with his trademark 'ho train.' The Dudleyz inducted Jacquelyn next, and much like the APA's speech it was filled with a lot of jokes and gags about how tough Miss. Jackie is and how she is like one of the boys. Jacquelyn's speech was also short and sweet and she mostly gave a ton of praise to the women's division she helped kick off during the attitude era.

Probably my favorite induction of the night was Stan Hansen getting inducted by Vader. Vader had a ton of good stories on how he feared Stan coming up in the AWA and how he had some classic tag matches with him in Japan, including the bout where Vader lost his eye. Stan came out and looked like he was speaking from the heart nonstop with no notes and he just gave a tremendous speech and came off as surprisingly genuine and endearing with his unique thanks and shoutouts to the 'carpenters' of the business and even giving props to one Rick Martel whom he noted he let beat him in nine seconds one day. Just a fantastic speech. WWE then introduced a new feature for the HoF with their 'Legacy Inductees.' Just imagine this as passed away stars who competed before the 70s getting their long overdue recognition. The NFL and MLB have a similar induction in their HoF each year too. The Legacy Class of 2016 consisted of legendary pioneers in the business such as Gerge Hackenschmidt, Pat 'O Connor, Frank Gotch, Mildred Burke, Ed 'Strangler' Lewis, Art Thomas and Lou Thesz. There were no induction/acceptance speeches here, just a 30-60 second highlight package of each inductee. All of these people deserved something so much more (perhaps an original Network special?), but at least these true pioneers got some form of recognition in WWE's hallowed halls.

The New Day inducted Fabulous Freebirds in my second favorite induction of the night. The Freebirds had a killer highlight package introducing them. Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin danced on stage to the point they were gassed in the initial moments of their speech. They both shared a bunch of classic Freebird stories, with the best being how they escaped death after a near-fatal shootout in a bar. Crowd was totally into the Freebirds, and it is finally good to see Hayes up at the podium finally after wondering what flamboyant suit he would normally be spotted in the crowd each year. I was ecstatic to see my childhood favorite star the Big Boss Man finally inducted into the HoF. His former manager Slick gave a decent speech, but you can tell it was written for him by a WWE writer because the verbiage consisted of the entire expected WWE lingo. Boss Man's family accepted the award, and they were understandably nervous speaking in that big stage, but they gave a great speech filled with tons of funny moments for their kids growing up about how they learned of his dad's zany attitude era endeavors. John Cena inducted Snoop Dogg into the celebrity wing of the HoF (that is in dire need of a Bob Barker induction by the way). Both Cena and Snoopy gave serious, respectful speeches. Snoop has done a ton of WWE appearances since the year 2000 and his speech seemed authentic on his love for the promotion.

Dana Warrior inducted Joan London for the HoF's philanthropy Warrior award. It was filled with the feel-good, inspirational speeches one would expect out of this award. In the headlining induction, Ric Flair inducted Sting. Flair got distracted and gave a bunch of random ramblings for the first five minutes before talking about Sting in a hilarious induction. Flair noted WWE provided him with notecards to stay on track, and Sting said as he expected, Flair did not follow the notes. Sting had a good speech with many good stories and fond memories of teaming up with Robocop, a surprise nod to 'Joker' Sting and how Seth tried to cheer him up after he got injured. Sting wrapped up his speech by officially retiring from the business. Very good speech, and it was refreshing to see a primary WCW worker headline the WWE HoF for the first time. For WM32, the kickoff show was two hours and featured three matches. We do not have to sit through two hours to see those matches as they are listed in the bonus features section and have their entrances clipped out to save on time and all three bonus matches have a total runtime of 25 minutes to make for a quicker watch. In the first kickoff match, Kallisto successfully defended the US Title against Ryback in a surprisingly good bout with both stars having several good near falls and spots throughout the match. Next up was a 5-on-5 women's tag match. This match was notable for being Brie Bella's final match and Lana's only match in the WWE so far. I was surprise there was not a single botch in this match, especially with green stars like Lana and Eva Marie in the match surprisingly hitting their moves. Brie Bella got the win for her team by making Naomi tap to the Yes-lock. The final pre-show match saw the Usos defeating the Dudleyz after D-Von got superkicked. The Usos continue their astonishing streak of only competing on the kickoff show for Wrestlemania.

The proper WM32 card officially started with a 6-man ladder match for the Intercontinental Title between Kevin Owens, Zack Ryder, Sin Cara, Sami Zayne, The Miz, Dolph Ziggler and Stardust. This match had the expected highspots with none that thankfully did not go awry. Kudos to Stardust for busting out the polka-dot-ladder! I was both shocked and thrilled that Ryder got his overdue Wrestlemania moment by winning the match and having a celebratory embrace with his father afterwards. AJ Styles made his Wrestlemania debut against Chris Jericho next in a really good encounter that saw Y2J win with a Codebreaker. Luckily, AJ rebounded from this and went on to have one of the best rookie years in WWE history. The most forgettable faction is WWE history, the League of Nations (Sheamus, Del Rio & Rusev) defeated the New Day in a no-frills six man tag. Wade Barrett was ringside managing the League and it would be his final 'Mania as he was written off WWE TV the next day. Sheamus pinned Xavier Woods with a Brogue Kick and Barrett talked trash on the mic afterwards until Steve Austin, Mick Foley and Shawn Michaels interrupted and beat the tar out of the League to the crowd's affection. Brock Lesnar defeated Dean Ambrose in a Street Fight with an F5 and 13, yes 13 German Suplexes. I know because the crowd counted along. This match was far better on second viewing because Dean went on to say in interviews how Brock was not all that cooperative in this match, but Dean had several moments of believable underdog comebacks and had the crowd popping throughout a couple nearfalls.

Next up was the triple threat, Women's title match between Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair. My initial notes for this match was 'Hairrrrrrr' because all three women appeared to be rocking triple their normal hair extensions. This is probably the best Women's title match in Wrestlemania history as it got ample time, and had a ton of good moments and ambitious spots from all three ladies. It got a little messy in a few spots, but in the grand scheme of things it was an entertaining affair and the three had the crowd in the palm of their hands for the entire ride. Charlotte successfully defended the title by making Becky tap to the Figure-8. Shane McMahon faced off against The Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell match. The build to this match and the match itself is ridiculous on paper, but upon rewatching this Shane was surprisingly believable in nearly everything he did, minus his awful punches. There were a few really dangerous spots in this bout which really got a reaction out of me since I am not use to WWE going this far with spots nowadays. Of course I am talking about Shane's crazy dive off the top of the cell through an announcer's table. After that unbelievable moment, Undertaker carried Shane's corpse to the ring, and Tombstoned him for the win. I feel as crazy as Shane was in this match for coming around on it on second viewing, but the pacing, body language and selling all came together to create a memorable Wrestlemania spectacle, for better or worse.

The third annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal was next and it was surprisingly well booked again. It had a few surprise entrants in the form of Tatanka, Diamond Dallas Page and NBA Hall-of-Famer Shaquille 'O Neal. Like last year, the battle royal was paced well with only minimal lulls and usually some kind of noteworthy moment or elimination happening to keep the crowd glued in. Ultimately, it was NXT star Baron Corbin winning the battle royal in his debut WWE match. At this point in the show, WM32 took a turn for the worse. I was enjoying the show quite a bit up until this point with a well-flowing match order that had each match gradually getting better and better. WM32 advertised an appearance of The Rock, and I was surprised to see a bummer of a Rock segment on this Wrestlemania. He came out with what looked like a t-shirt gun, but was actually a flamethrower and went on to light up a custom 'Rock' sign. I would have rather seen him shoot out tshirts. He quickly got cut off in his promo by the Wyatt Family. Wyatt's usual incoherent gibberish led to Rock challenging one of them to a match on the spot. What we got was The Rock squashing Erik Rowan in six seconds to set a new record for shortest match in Wrestlemania history. This would have been OK on an episode of RAW, but to have the WWE hype up a Rock segment for several weeks and deliver this nonsense turned out to be unbelievably disappointing. The only good thing to come out of this segment was The Rock spoofed on Wyatt being the 'Eater of Worlds' by declaring him the 'Eater of Hot Pockets.'

The final match of the show saw Roman Reigns pin Triple H to become the new WWE Champion. The crowd was not on Roman's side, and WWE did their best to mute them out by more than doubling the volume of Roman's entrance music. The match was a dull slog and the crowd was understandably burnt out at this point in the night. The crowd was not going to bite for having the WWE shove Roman down everyone's throat that night, and good on them for doing so. How did Roman say thanks to the WWE when they booked him to come out on top on WWE's biggest show of the year? He showed his gratitude by failing a drug test a couple months later and the company had to rush to get the title off him so he could serve his suspension. If you ignore the final two segments of WM32, then this turned out to be a fantastic Wrestlemania. So just completely skip the Rock/Wyatt segment and the main event and you will be in for a far more enjoyable card than what it turned out to be. Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 For All Mankind Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold RoH Supercard of Honor V RoH Supercard of Honor VI RoH Supercard of Honor VII RoH Supercard of Honor VIII RoH Supercard of Honor IX RoH Supercard of Honor X ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Sting: Into the Light Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania 3: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28 Wrestlemania 29 Wrestlemania 30 Wrestlemania 31 The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016