Angel Dust: Do you really think you should be eating that cake?
Adam: Why?
Angel Dust: If you're going to be the trophy husband to the king of hell you should watch your waistline.
Husk: He's right, a minute on the lips a lifetime on the hips.
Adam: Hahaha, first of all-
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Charlie: Wait, why would dad go around telling everyone in Hell you're "as gay as the day is long"?
Adam: Maybe because I told everyone he slept with ducks
Charlie: But that is clearly a joke! His statement could easily be true!
Adam: ....
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Hi here are my insane valorant headcanons (some nsfw, nothing too detailed)
• Pheonix is really good at fighting games like smash bros, and is only ever beaten by Astra who, despite never really playing them, is unbeatable.
• In that vein, Phoenix and Jett host game nights on Brim’s old Wii he still has for some reason.
• Cypher has cameras set up all over base, and sometimes him and Killjoy will watch the feed like a soap opera.
• Skye usually braids Breach’s hair so he can get that tight braid. Robot arms are cool and all, but not exactly delicate.
• Pheonix is banned from the kitchen. Not for burning shit, but for serving Jett beans on toast with unmelted shredded cheese.
• Killjoy has tried to get other agents into LoL, they all refused.
• Killjoy is also trans idc
• Chamber doesn’t actually know how to play chess. He’s only ever played by himself, and Cypher finds this out when he challenged him to a game when he first joined.
• Neon likes to draw and she’s not too bad.
• Yoru is bisexual but vehemently denies it, even while actively doing gay shit. He could be getting his back blown out and deny it’s anything but straight. That pride flag in his room? He just likes the colors, idiot.
• Chamber is violently lactose intolerant, but he denies it even tho everyone can hear him fighting for his life in the bathroom at 3 am because he wanted to eat some brie earlier.
• Chamber and his double have fucked. That’s it. You saw the fuck me eyes they were giving each other in the cinematic. Foul.
• Sova is not a natural blonde. Skye also helps him bleach and shave his hair.
• Phoenix can play the trumpet.
• Brimstone can’t really cook, but he is a master griller.
• Breach also likes to ride motorcycles. He tried to bond with Yoru over this when he first joined, but he annoyed him so nothing really came from that.
• Brimstone and Harbor do, however, bond over their shared motorcycle shenanigans.
• Minecraft is Sage’s guilty pleasure. She likes to pick flowers and build little cottages. She often plays with Killjoy and Omen, and they have a realm together.
- Killjoy is crazy at redstone. On some Docm77 shit.
- Omen likes to mine.
• They have communal showers. Do with that what you will.
• Yoru and Chamber had a one night stand. Yoru deeply regrets it, Chamber does not.
• As per my (somehow) brimstone approved comic, neons a furry. She doesn’t fursuit, she just likes drawing funny animal guys.
• Killjoy is an mlp fan.
• Back when morbius was a thing, yoru would watch the FUCK out of that movie in the valorant living room or whatver. He was eventually banned from the tv for like a month.
• Viper once hit Chamber in the nuts bc of his cringe ass advances on her. He considers it sex.
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