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just-anka · 3 years

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I realised I haven’t really regularly posted here since like... I don’t even know, September? It’s been a while, anyway. A lot happened, and I now feel like actually writing a post for the first time in a while, so here goes haha. The first bullet point is entirely work waffle so feel free to skip. Apologies in advance for the fact that this post will probably reach novel length by the time I’m done.

• I took a week off in late September before Ben started his new job so we could go to the mountains for a bit, and it was a much-needed little break from work. And pretty much right after I got back, work got completely mental - nothing bad as such, just one thing after the other, loads of deadlines, so many important things. First I was finishing up data for a paper (first authorship was being debated which is partially why I threw myself into the job so much, but it looks like it’ll be the PhD student before me’s now, which is how it should be tbh, it’s much more hers than it is mine), then the date for my first committee meeting was set and I suddenly had only two weeks to prepare (did not think it was going to be that short notice, whoops, had a very stressful two weeks but all went well - for us, this meeting means presenting our research plan and preliminary data to a committee of four professors so they can give you input, it’s not suuuper formal but still pretty stressful), then I had to write the report for that (I love writing so that one was okay), then there was suddenly a lot to do for a really important cooperation with a company (big money responsibility which stressed me the fuck out), and then, just as I thought I was pretty much done for the year, I realised I needed my lab book up to date for my end of year meeting with my PI (which wouldn’t be such a big deal, except I didn’t have a lab book at the time. Never got around to starting one. So nine months of lab book were written within another very stressful week). Whew. Even writing this out makes me feel like that was a lot haha.

• After the end of year discussion, I really was done for the year - I officially worked until the 23rd but there was not that much actual work happening, and with the pressure off after months, I properly crashed for a few days. Ben left for England on the weekend after to see his family for christmas etc, and I spent most of that weekend sleeping and doing very little. It was needed. Then my mum came to visit me for the holidays and we had four really lovely days together, also involving a lot of chilling (the only actual thing we did was that magical winter hike that I posted some pictures of the other day).

• And now I’m skiing! I was planning to go to England as well for NYE to see Ben’s family, but with the corona situation escalating again lately I decided it was too risky for just a few days. So I made a last-minute plan to go skiing by myself instead, because all that involves is a 2 hour train journey. I’m actually staying in a hotel too, which I’ve never done by myself before, I’m usually a dorm in a hostel type of person, but well. Covid has changed a lot of things :D trying to stay safe and away from people, which is of course not entirely possible in a ski resort, but it’s going okay. The skiing itself is great, it’s really nice having some time to go at my own pace and a few days in a row. Today was day 4 and I’ve really found my groove again (more on that later). There’s not much snow though so not many off-pisteing opportunities :/ I’m staying until Monday and then it’s back to work on Wednesday.

• Speaking of skiing, we’ve got season passes this year, my first season and Ben’s second. We’ve just been doing on the weekends so far - since the 21st of November I just realised while looking back in my calendar! That’s one hell of an early season start haha. We did just one day three weekends and then one full weekend right before Ben left. The first few days were bloody hard. For context, I learned to ski before I learned to walk and loved it as a child, then stopped for a few years because I felt like I wasn’t progressing anymore and was getting bored with it, basically. Then last January I went to France with Ben and his skiing friends and got introduced to freeriding and the idea of ski touring, and now I’m back to loving it haha. I’d ideally like to not have to resort ski anymore at one point (meaning touring) because I know it’s terrible from an environmental standpoint but... idk. It’s currently my only option, and I love it a lot, so I guess it feels okay? Anyway, since I learned to ski so early, it’s the one sport that I’ve always been pretty good at and like, never get scared, at least not on piste. Until this year. The first three individual days were just all kind of horrible, the conditions weren’t ideal with very hard surface and tons of ice and pretty busy slopes, and only steep terrain open as well (Engelberg, our “home” resort - we have a season pass that encompasses a bunch of resorts so we’re not limited to one - is literally dead flat beginner’s slopes, which weren’t open in the beginning, or red runs that should be black and black lol). Pairing loads of ice with my old skis which barely have an edge anymore was... not ideal. I was so scared constantly and it made me like I lost all my ability etc etc. But yeah, turns out I just needed a few days and some easier conditions to get back into it, and now ice and steep stuff and everything is fine again. Who would’ve thought. (a sensible person, probably).

• But then, the full weekend we skied in December was awesome! Saturday already felt much better and then it snowed a bunch over night and Sunday we spent all day powder skiing, basically. I learned SO much and just had an absolute ball! Definitely one of the best days skiing I’ve had, and one of the best days recently in general.

• Plus that whole weekend was just lovely, car camping in a campsite full of huge campervans was pretty fun :D I love the looks we get when people see the car and clearly wonder where we sleep. And we’ve got our setup perfected for winter now so both the nights were toasty. Friday night we had dinner in “bed” watching a movie, and Saturday night we sat in the little kitchen (the campsite has it open for everyone, but everyone else there has a camper, so it doesn’t seem to be used much) drinking tea and playing cards and ahh. Camping in the mountains. My ideal life eh? (though the weekend before this wonderful one, we got snowed in because it dumped over a metre over night completely unexpectedly and that was stressful as hell, but I think that’s a story for another day, if ever, I’m kind of trying to forget that day :’D)

• Yesterday I also finally took the plunge and ordered new skis. Been debating for ages which ones to get but I’ve finally decided and I’m now very excited!

• Ok this post so far reads as “work and skiing” which is pretty much what November and December were and probably what January is going to be too haha. Ben and I want to ski another week together end of January as well, and there’s some big exciting work things coming up as well.

• Even though I have to admit, now that I’m on a break, I’ve spent a lot of time dreading work and questioning my career choices and all of that lark... sigh. I love my job most of the time, but I kind of hate having a job? If that makes sense? Sometimes (okay a lot of the time) I just wish I had more time for other things that I care about. But I also now I’m lucky to have that job, especially this year, and lucky to have a job I don’t hate, and get to do a lot of fun stuff on the side, even if it often means little sleep and downtime.

• Speaking of things I care about, I was on a proper roll with writing for a few days before and after Christmas. It’s ebbed off again a bit, but it was still pretty cool, and my totally-useless-all-cheese-project is now 33,000+ words long and like, half-way there story wise. Had a lot of fun with that.

• Lastly, Ben is still in England, and he’s coming back next Sunday, and I can’t wait! I miss him so much when we’re not together it’s actually silly. Although it’s less stressful this time than the last few times because... we live together, his work just offered him an unlimited contract from January, and I’m stuck here for another 2-3 years, so it looks like we’ll actually get to be in the same place for now. Which is all I wished for last year, and I’m so damn grateful - that stability really is the best thing 2020 has brought for me. And, as he said, even though we were apart for the start of the new year, it will hopefully bring more time together than any previous year ♡

• Okay I think this is long enough now, if you actually made it until here you’re a hero and I will try and post a bit more regularly again now to avoid this size of mind dump :’D I hope you all got into the new year alright, it feels very strange to me that it’s 2021 because I actually slept through midnight on new year’s for the first time since I was tiny haha but I’m sure a lot of people feel the same way!

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jadespeedster17 · 4 years

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Thomas Sanders Highschool AU Idea

Title is a working progress, but me and my sisters best friend sat in the kitchen and came up with this idea. Context with characters, ages, and roles. Got this idea from reading @fangirltothefullest idea.

CHARACTERS

Virgil Arachna-Crofters: Senior who is forced to take theater due to their being nothing else, that he hasn’t already taken for that time slot. Techy nerd guy, and godson of single, young dad Logan Crofters. He is seventeen (17), and wants to go into Computer Science for college and has already applied for a few. Reclusive, Geeky, Socially Awkward Emo Kid.

Roman Prince: Senior who is the popular theater kid, very handsome and very dramatic. He’s the president of the Drama Department, and is in Track. He is the youngest son of ‘Mom Deceit’ Prince. And younger twin brother of Remus Prince. He is eighteen (18), and comes from a well off family, and enjoys public school over Private School. He wants to go into the drama arts and his ‘mom’ has gotten him some deals. Outgoing, Loud Mouth, Drama Bitch Kid.

Thomas Sanders: Virgil’s best friend, he is a Junior who is a band kid. He plays the flute. He is sixteen (16) and has been friends with Virgil since they were only six (6) as Logan is best friends with Thomas’s parents. He is looking for scholarships currently and looks to go into animation or advertisement. He does on the side of band the Career Technical Center near the highschool and takes classes there in Advertisement. Nerdy, Quiet, Kind Kid.

Patton Heart: Romans best friend who is a Senior as well, he is seventeen (17) and will be by the end of the semester be eighteen (18). Guys a sweetheart and helps Roman out with costumes and play writing, he is looking to be a Seamstress with a minor in writing. He is vice president of the Drama Department and makes most of their play sets and costumes with Remus. Happy go lucky, Extroverted, Obviously Bi-sexual Kid

Remus Prince: Romans older brother, by ten minuets and is a Senior as well. He is eighteen (18) and drive a rainbow colored sports car. Remus loves theater as well, but he’s more into the darker aspects, loves to play the villain and enjoys making set pieces and is learning to make costumes with the help of Patton, his second best friend. His first is a guy in college who is year older than him, but he isn’t very important to the story. Remus is looking to go into theater also, but more so want to be in Art and looks to be a designer for sets for movies and such. Creepy, Weird, Loud and Proud, Hella Gay Kid.

Micheal ‘Deceit’ Prince: Roman and Remus’s ‘mom’, single and young parent with a business of his own making selling mostly jewelry, but along with other accessories, but mainly the deal in rings, earrings, necklaces, things like that. But will sell hats, scares, shoes, and smaller things like that. Deceit is twenty-seven (27), and likes the nickname ‘Deceit’ due to most of his partners saying he ‘lies’ to them on deals. Which actually he never has done but once or twice, shockingly he is a honest business man, (90% of the time) but he likes to mess with people. He and his wife divorced, when he was twenty-three (23) when it was found she was going hard drugs and cheating on him with another man. He adopted Roman and Remus at twenty (20), the two were eleven (11) at the time. He found his business going well, and his wife didn’t want to birth a child, so they adopted. He easily kept custody of them as he was well off and well influential to the kids. Smooth, Sly, Composed Man.

Logan Crofters: Science & Philosophy Professor as the University of Arts and Science in their area. This place is actually rather big and accepts only the best students in there art programs and their science programs, (Still working on a name for it though). He is a hardass professor to his students, but to his only son, Virgil, he is the sweetest man you’ll met. A devoted godfather and actually rather heartfelt to him, Logan tries to make his godson happy after the lose of his wife. Logan is only twenty-one (21) and is a very young professor/father, but don’t let that fool you. Guy is six foot two inches (6ft 2in) he is lanky but shockingly is very strong. He adopted Virgil when the other was sixteen (16), he was the boys Godfather, Logan was only nineteen (19), but already got a good job at a professor and was being paid rather well and his wife was doing well too. A year after that his wife died, he still kept Virgil, mainly because Virgil was happy with him. Smart, Sassy, Takes No Shit Man.

PLOT

Virgil has had it rough these past few years, having lost his mother to a car crash and taken in by his second godparent, as the first couldn’t take care of him. Logan Crofters. He took on Logan’s last name with a hypen of his own so that Logan could claim him on insurance. Life has been alright, Mr. Dad tries rather hard to make sure Virgil is coping well, even after three years, Logan knows the sting of losing someone can linger for a while. Things are looking up though, Virgil has applied to the University his dad works at to go into Computer Sciences there, and maybe look for a more specific filed of study. His godfather helped him make his portfolio and they hope he’ll get in.

Senior year comes, Virgil has a rather nice car, nothing fancy, but for used it was working well and in good condition. He signs up for classes only to find that there is no classes other than Theater/Drama open having taken all the other classes in that area, and the classes for core are all full, Virgil is forced/recommended by his adviser to take Drama. To say he’s having an anxiety attack inwardly would be in understatement. Virgil is PAINFULLY shy and dislikes being on stage. But, maybe he could convince the teacher to let him be the backstage techy guy?

First day of class, and Virgil is on edge, the class is somewhat full, only three seats are open in a class for twenty-six (26) students. Half are seniors, so about eleven (11) of them. There are five (5) juniors, four (4) sophomores, and three (3) freshmen. Most of the seniors Virgil doesn’t know that well, either because they were big bullies of his in the past or because they are WAY higher than his social standing. Being the reclusive emo kid who likes his black and enjoys not being the center of attention, he already feels out of place. And can actively hear people talking about him. Gods he hopes he can just disappear behind stage.

Then, enter in Roman Prince, popular kid, mostly because he does some sport, Track and Field, has won arts awards for the school. He is very handsome and to top it all off he’s rich. Girls and some guys swoon over this guy, who Virgil can’t even call a moron as he actually does well in school! However, the rumors about him also are dark, stating he’s rather emotionally controlling of anyone he dates. But, doesn’t stop some from trying. He has to spend his last year with this ego guy, just great.

Now, what Virgil doesn’t know is each year Roman chooses someone from the class to be is... left hand. As Patton is already his right, said ‘hand’ will do anything he asks in return he gives them lessons on being the best, often times it’s a Freshmen he likes. Rarely is it a Junior or Sophomore, once it was a senior in his Junior year. Roman sees it as he gets someone to help him and Patton with all the running they do, and helps mold a ‘new star’ out of someone. Which actually he has made some Freshmen open up more, even if later he dumps them for another next year. So win win.

And this year, he eyes up the out of place emo in the far back corner of the room. Was this guy even in here, did he show up to the wrong class. No, not many do that. So this kid clearly was in the right place. To Roman, the kid looked like he needed help, and clearly none of the others were going to do anything about it. So might as well being the ‘Prince’ he is and help the poor boy.

Thus, he offers to Virgil this, a contract he and his ‘Mom’ made. Virgil just has to do every little thing he says in the Drama Class and in return, Roman pays him twenty a week and offers him lessons on how to be a good actor. Virgil, too shocked for words and a little scared of what will happen if he doesn’t sign, signs the papers.

This spirals into Roman slowly pulling Virgil out of his shell and making the kid be more sociable. While lowkey looking like to Virgil’s friends that he is controlling his life. Then shenanigans happen all year, which include:

- Patton having a crush of Virgil’s dad Logan and lowkey they start to grow feelings for each other. - Thomas and friends of Virgil trying to ‘save’ their friend from Roman, who they think is seeking to use Virgil and hurt him feelings later. - Roman actually developing real feelings for Virgil, something that has never happened to him. And starts to try hard to get Virgil to like him. - Virgil coming to terms fully with his moms death with people who know what it’s like. And lowkey starts to fall in love with Roman. - Remus being a dick/sweet older brother who really Ships Virgil/Roman. - And general highschool shit.

SIDE CONTENT

- Logan and Deceit know each other, were going to have a partner ship until Logan left to marry his wife. Not great feelings there, Deceit is able to hold a grudge for a while. - Roman seems like a controlling person to Virgil to anyone out of his circle of friend. But Roman is actually a Bitch, he’s a bratty bottom and very much a submissive But he actually finds it funny how much more submissive Virgil is and finds it kind of fun to play dominate for once. - Virgil later though grows a spine and finds out just how submissive Roman is. lol - Virgil’s friends throw out some outlandish rumors about Roman and Virgil. Ranging from Roman has Virgil in a contract to be his slave, to Roman has brainwashed Virgil to be his wife and servant, to Roman is a vampire who is using Virgil as a Bloodbank. It gets rather funny after a while. - Remus is a conceiving Bastard who finds it hilarious that everyone thinks his brother is being emotionally controlling of Virgil and is being a abusive dominate. Like do these idiots even KNOW his brother - Remus also bets on how long it’ll take for Virgil to grow a spine and for Roman to cave, and bets on when Patton and Logan will get together. Remus knows ALL guys and sees EVERYTHING. - Thomas is the first to find out that Roman actually cares for Virgil and starts to help Remus plan to get them together half way through the year. - Legit there is a scene on Logan’s twenty-second (22) birthday where Patton comes over when Virgil is out shopping with Roman, and they come back to see the two kissing in the kitchen. All sorts of awkward man! NOTES

- To start the reason for young parents is explained at least, I try to get my story consistency and some realism. - I wanted a Logicality pairing, however I wanted Logan to be ‘Teacher’ in this, so that’s why I man Logan and young dad and Virgil’s Godfather. So that way it wasn’t weird or not age correct. As I know having some thirty-year-old (30) man with a teenager is all sorts of weird for some people. - Also I wanted some drama with Logan being unapproving of who Roman’s dad is and kind of dislikes that Virgil is friends with him due to this. But slowly comes to see that this Roman guy is making his godson happy. - Debating on a pairing with Remus and Thomas in this, comment if you want that. - I also wanted to name Deceit ‘Dominic’ but decided against it and instead when with Micheal, finding that it actually fits. - I might add more to this later, but I don’t have much time to type out a full story so this was a better thing. - Hell, might even do Headcannons for this if you guys want me too. - If you guys WANT me to write this as a story then please comment or PM me. - Also, if you guys want to write this yourself the PM me to let me know, and please don’t just steal my idea. I rather dislike people doing that. And dudes, it is illegal. - Speaking of which I used SOME small ideas from the creator I mentioned above, not along. Just that Logan is a teacher with the last name Crofters, and Remus being in an outlandish car. Small things. But it gave me this inspiration so yeah...

That’s about all I got, though lowkey would LOVE to see fanart on this idea.

#thomas sanders #roman x virgil #virgil anxiety #deciet sanders #remus sanders #patton morality sanders #patton sanders #roman creativity sanders #roman sanders #logan logic sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #alternate universe #fanfiction ideas #logan x patton #logicality #prinxiety #highschool au

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potterlock5ever · 7 years

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92 Questions Tag

92 Asks Game! I’m finally doing this. I thought it would be fun and i’m bored af so here we go: Tagged by: @gerardsasquatch LAST 1) Drink: Frozen Coke, I think 2) Phone call: Uh, my teacher? I don't really call people lol 3) Text message: telling my friend which dress to wear over snapchat 4) Song listened to: Idk to be sure, probably frank iero and the patience 5) Time you cried: Watching Twenty One Pilots play "Addict with a pen" in UG studios and seeing Tyler choking and almost crying. I almost cried, but not quite. HAVE YOU EVER 6) Dated somebody twice: No, still in my first relationship 7) Been cheated on: Nah 8) Kissed someone and regretted it: No 9) Lost someone special: Yes. 10) Been depressed: since 2015, baby 11) Gotten drunk and puked: No, I'm under the legal drinking age :P THREE FAVOURITE Colours 12) Black 13) Pastel Purple 14) Night Vale purple IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15) Made new friends: So far, 1 16) Fallen out of love: I've fallen out of a fandom? 17) Laughed until you cried: No, not yet... 18) Found out someone was gossiping about you: Yeah, some asshole who I didn't have contact with for the last 3 years said how "annoying I am" 19) Met someone who changed your life: Yeah, my good Ol' buddy ol pal anxiety 20) Found out who your true friends are: Nah 21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don't even have Facebook HOW MANY/MUCH 22) Facebook friends: don't have Facebook 23) Pets: 2 cats and 2 dogs 24) Want to change your name: Nah 25) Did I get for my birthday: it hasn't been my birthday but last birthday I got art supplies 26) Time I woke up: 6am 27) Were you doing at midnight: Watching Jeffree Star( I watch it to got to sleep, what?) 28) Can’t you wait for: to meet up with my long distance friend on my birthday I guess? 29) Was the last time you saw your mom: She's right next to me, playing skyrim 30) Was something you wish you could change about your life: I wish I wasn't depressed 31) Are you listening to right now: My mumplay skyrim and my niece babble 32) Gets on your nerves: Too much sensory input. Or when my brother is biphobic to me 33) Talked to a person named Tom: Uh, no I don't think... 34) Is your most visited website: Um, my school website or tumblr 35) Elementary school/primary school: Crap school that almost let me drown in a pool 36) High School: Currently attending a school of nun' yo' business 37) College: We call it university in my country, and I'm yet to attend 38) Hair colour: Red 39) Long/short hair: Very long 40) Crush: Gerard 41) Do you like about yourself: My style 42) Piercings: Just the ears 43) Blood type: A+ 44) Nickname: Hate nicknames, just don't 45) Relationship status: In a relationship 46) Zodiac: Aries 47) Pronouns: whatever idc 48) Favourite show: Uh, don't really watch to, school is more important 49) Tattoos: I like to give myself henna sleeves lol 50) Left or right handed: Ambidextrous FIRST 51) Surgery: I guess I got a tooth pull out. But they didn't put me under or give me any numbing stuff. I was like 3, I'm still traumatised 52) Piercings: Ears 53) Best friend: Internet 54) Sport: I don't do the sport 55) Vacation: I think I went to Sea World 56) Pair of shoes: Baby Sandals RIGHT NOW 57) Eating: my nieces left over tiny teddies 58) Drinking: Blood 59) I am about to: Murder 60) Listening to: My mum playing skyrim and talking to me 61) Waiting for: The souls of the innocent to be sacrificed to me 62) Want to see: Frank Iero 63) Want to get married: Nah 64) Career: Artist WHICH IS BETTER 65) Hugs/kisses: No thanks to body contact, stay out of my bubble 66) Lips/eyes: Lips I guess? I don't like eye contact 67) Taller/shorter: Indifferent 68) Younger/older: Context? 69) Romantic/spontaneous: idek 70) Nice arms/nice stomach: what is this? 71) Sensitive/loud: Sensitive 72) Hookup/relationship: Relationship 73) Troublemaker/hesitant: ??? HAVE YOU EVER 74) Kissed a stranger: No 75) Drank hard liquor: No 76) Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yeah, they were on top of a kitchen cabinet 77) Turned someone down: Ya 78) Canoodling on a first date: No 79) Broken someone’s heart: don't think so 80) Had your own heart broken: yes 81) Been arrested: no 82) Cried when someone died: yes 83) Fallen for a friend: No DO YOU BELIEVE IN 84) Yourself: Nah 85) Miracles: Nah 86) Santa Claus: Kinda 87) Kisses on a first date: Don't even like the idea of kissing 88) Angels: Patrick Stump 89) Love at first sight: *shrugs* OTHER 90) Best friend’s name: My bed 91) Eye color: Green with central heterochromia 92) Favourite movie: Hurricane Bianka I tag @thatlittleauberginebitch and anyone else who wants to do this :D

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scriptmedic · 7 years

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Massage Therapy: Medical Applications and Mythconceptions

Hi everybuddy! Aunt Scripty here. Today’s guest post is written by Nana, a Licensed Massage Therapist in the US.

This is part 1 of a 2-part post on the basics of what massage therapy is (and, more importantly, isn’t). I’m so excited to have Nana’s posts here on the blog!

Keep in mind that even though this is a guest post, and I have not 1000% verified everything in it, it is still subject to The Disclaimer Of Doom. (The Doomsclaimer?)

I hope you all enjoy!

Nana, take it away!

Hello! LMT Nana here! ( @theoremofwhat ) You’re probably wondering what the heck I’m doing here. Or what the heck an LMT even is. I’m here today to help Aunt Scripty in her quest to dispel some Mythconceptions surrounding the medical field in a two part post on my specialty: Massage Therapy.

For the uninitiated, your first thought is probably something along the lines of, “LOL, happy ending, yo!” I’m here to smack that right out of your head.

Let’s start off with what Massage Therapy actually is. Defined by the medical dictionary,

“Massage therapy is the scientific manipulation of the soft tissues of the body for the purpose of normalizing those tissues and consists of manual techniques that include applying fixed or movable pressure, holding, and/or causing movement of or to the body.”

Okay. What the heck does that mean? I’ll put it into context for you. A massage under this definition is when a trained person uses their hands, forearms, elbows, or other parts of the body to apply force to the patient’s body, or stretching/moving joints, for the purpose of loosening muscle and connective tissue, or to stimulate fluid flow (blood/lymph).

Sweet. That’s down. Let’s continue.

Massage is one of the oldest forms of medical care, …..

….with origins going back almost 5,000-4,000 years in Polynesian, Egyptian and Chinese cultures, these are passed down through written and oral traditions. Massage became popularized in western medicine by Hippocrates, who believed that massage was a highly effective and underutilized tool that requires a great deal of knowledge and training- views still held today by professionals.

The full history of massage is quite long and complicated- something I won’t go into here. It’s quite the drama, part of which contributes to some modern Mythconceptions that organizations like the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA) are trying to smash out by regulating the practice and increasing public awareness. Studies into the history of massage, and even observances in modern populations have shown that the urge to aid hurts by applying manipulation through the hands is likely an ingrained impulse in humans.

Knowing this, one would think that just anyone could get up off the street and give a massage. While many a family member or good friend has helped that “knot” (called a trigger point) in your shoulder, giving a full body massage with the intent of aiding healing requires a lot of hands on training and knowledge of the human body. You wouldn’t want a receptionist diagnosing your cancer- you don’t want a receptionist handing your massage either.

Let’s go over the qualifications for a massage therapist, known professionally as a Licensed Massage Therapist (LMT) standardly, and/or BCTMB if they are Board Certified.

Here in the United States (where I am) regulation is left up to the individual states. I am licensed through the state of Utah, so many of the laws and regulations I will be defining for you will be through that lens. If you would like a good launching board for other states, head here.

The AMTA suggests a minimum of 500 hours of training for licensing, but states such as New York require up to 1,000 hours. Here in the state of Utah 600 hours is the minimum requirement. This translates to about 7-12 months of schooling.

During the course of schooling a therapist will spend most of their time learning medical Anatomy, Physiology, Pathology, and Kinesiology. Basically? How the body is made, how it works, and how it moves. They are then trained in how this information applies to injury, illness and rehabilitation.

The rest is hands on training, identifying in person what abnormal tissue feels like, how to change it, when you should and can, when you should not massage, and areas of endangerment. And this is a VERY brief overview.

Aside from the all important training in medical A&P, we are given intensive training in the ethics side of massage. This is perhaps one of the most important separators between a LMT and a non licensed individual. LMTs are unique in the medical community because we have a specific training in how to touch.

Touch is one of the most sensitive things in the modern community- many suffer from Touch Deprivation because of stigma surrounding touch. Many perceive touch as a sexual thing. Others will react negatively to touch due to trauma in their life. Massage therapists must be prepared to present the massage in a way that cannot be perceived in a sexual, or threatening way, and may receive extra training to deal with victims of violence.

We receive training in how to conduct the massage- specifically in how to greet and interview the client, how to drape (the covering and un-covering an area to be worked.) and how to interact through out the session and how to end it.

To be licensed in the state of Utah, I had to undergo 600 hours of schooling by an accredited school. In my case it was a technical school focusing on medical careers: Nursing, Physical Therapy, Personal Trainers, and Dental Assisting. My actual course was almost 700 hours- ten months of school in total. After passing my schooling I took a national exam called the MBLEx, a test monitored by the FSMBT. (Which is terrifying, by the way. I legitimately cried when I passed. Most do not pass the first time around.) The Utah Division of Occupational and Professional Licensing required proof of my schooling and my testing scores, along with proof of residency and I was fingerprinted.

Once licensed and practicing you also need to understand that LMT’s have what’s called a scope of practice. This means we can only do certain things under our license, primarily, massage. We cannot diagnose, or prescribe anything. We are trained in Pathology so that we may identify potential symptoms, but we are under strict laws to only bring up our suspicions and direct you to your primary care physician or a specialist. We can suggest common, well accepted home lifestyle changes/ remedies with the caveat that the client must still check with a doctor before starting anything new. You should never take anything a therapist tells you as gospel truth because even if they have had excessive continuing education or 20 years of experience, we are not doctors.

Now that you know all this, let’s go over the common Mythconceptions we face in media. Because guess what? Massage is a largely misunderstood area and has been misrepresented so often I want to tear my hair out. These are things you should AVOID in your writing. Personally? I don’t care if you’re actually writing a story about a prostitute that wants to hide their illegal activities under the label of a masseuse. Figure something else out. I don’t really care if you’re going for a laugh, or a shocker. It’s an entire industry that you are undermining and actually inhibiting real world people from getting help.

Massage Therapy is purely for pleasure/pampering/rich people. Or, Massage Therapists are sex workers.

This is one that causes the most harm to my blood pressure. While massage is excellent for general mental health, it is also good for almost all areas of health, both as a preventative measure and an aid in recovery. I personally specialize in injury recovery- even more specially in rotator cuff injury. (The rotator is my favorite muscle group.) Others specialize in automotive accidents, surgery rehabilitation, trauma recovery, geriatric care, arthritis, sports, autistic children and adults, and hospital massage(for very ill people). The list is endless, actually. Specializing therapists can work independently or attached to doctors/ physical therapists/psychiatric professionals.

Changes in health care and pricing have made massage much more accessible. Many offices will accept insurance as a form of payment, and more and more insurance companies are paying for it. The industry standard in charging is $1 a minute- and considering the amount of training and the wear on the therapist’s body, this is more than fair. Other businesses will offer specials and memberships aimed at making regular massage more affordable to the average american. Depending on the office/private practice you visit, they will even help you with payment plans for your care. So even if your character is struggling financially, there are always options.

Massage being perceived as a sexual thing is a complicated subject, largely due to abuse of the term in history and cultural views(as mentioned above.) And it’s actually a dangerous one. Many, if not most, therapists are female.(This is beginning to change and it’s really exciting.) It’s not unheard of for a skeevy guy to go in for a ‘happy ending’, get refused by his law-abiding therapist, and attack her. I have not yet experienced this- but friends and coworkers have. Prostitutes masquerading as therapists also enforce this view that a massage is sexual.

In the 1800s, police began to crack down on certain businesses and drove prostitution from these places into massage parlors and bathhouses- leading to the degradation of the term “masseuse”.

So please. Do not use the term masseuse/masseur. As a professional I would say this would be the only time to use this portrayal of sex and massage- historically- and as long as you also make the commentary that there were legitimate practitioners at the time and this was an abuse of the term.

Please, please, please, do NOT use this in a modern setting unless you are prepared to make some very direct commentary on this abuse of the industry.

Aunt Scripty’s Note: Having gotten lectures from the FBI about this, it’s also important to know that a lot of the cheap / fake “massage parlors” you see (the really, REALLY easy to spot kind) are fronts for human trafficking. The “employees” may be victims of forced prostitution, held against their will or manipulated by others stealing their passports, and other atrocious human rights abuses. When you portray massage in your fiction as having “happy endings” or a front for prostitution, you are actually advertising for human rights abusers.

Now that we have that gross lump out of the way, moving on to number 2.

Depictions of a Massage in Advertising and Media.

You’ve all seen the classic image of a beautiful woman working on an equally beautiful human with the client laying face down, head resting on their arms, a gentle smile on their face with a blanket neatly arranged around their midsection, the beautiful therapist standing over them and tenderly dragging their fingertips across their skin, or placing hot stones right on the spine, and they are surrounded by nature and flowers or some shit.

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

I googled ‘massage’ and looked up images. I had to scroll for a good long while before I even found something that ALMOST represented what an actual table looks like, what proper body mechanics look like, what proper draping looks like. It’s vomit worthy. And holy-mother-of-profanities. You would NEVER rest hot stones directly on skin, much less the SPINE.

The last thing I want on my table is flowers and fluffy shit. It’s unhygienic, potentially allergy triggering, and just in my way. Licensed practitioners follow strict guidelines set up by the local Health Department, and follow Universal and Standard Precautions set by the CDC. This prevents transmission of disease.

My actual table is not so glamorous: made of standard wood or steel with a nice firm pad on top, ankle/knee bolster, and a face rest. (The face rest is either not too bad, or HELL, depending on the person. But it’s a necessary evil. That face rest is there for breath-ability when you are completely face down and I’m working on shoulders/neck.) We can dress them up in nice sheets and blankets, table warmers and the like. But they still need to be cleanable.

And you’re definitely not going to look glamorous getting a massage. At times a client is so relaxed they end up drooling and snoring. It’s fantastic. Moaning and groaning is totally normal in a non-weird way. Falling asleep and waking up disoriented is also very normal. Twitching is also normal- although it feels weird. This is a sign of the muscle releasing.

If your character suffers from any anxiety, they may struggle to fall asleep on the table, or relax completely- they may attempt to exert some manner of control over the massage- by holding arms and legs, fidgeting, or they may relieve tension through talking. All of this is also 100% fine, but the therapist will likely try to help them relax in order to allow the massage to be as effective as possible.

Next is the portrayal going the opposite way: guy goes in to get a massage and is practically torn apart and beaten by his therapist in order to get a “deep tissue” massage. This leads into the next Mythconception:

Massage HAS to hurt or leave you sore to be effective.

I’m not going to lie. Some times a massage does hurt. Sometimes it does leave you sore afterwards, technically you get a work out during a massage. Sometimes those muscles and fascia are so bound up and tight that releasing it is Not Fun™. Some muscles just don’t like to be worked. (Hee-llO subscapularis and psoas.) But there ARE ways around it. There are very gentle ways of coaxing a muscle, tendon, or aponeurosis into it’s natural state.

Also. DEEP TISSUE DOES NOT MEAN DEEPER PRESSURE. Repeat after me, children: Deep tissue does not mean deeper pressure. A gentle relaxing massage can have bruising deep pressure(not that I recommend it, and it’s probably not relaxing anymore!) Deep tissue is a specific modality with techniques to accessing deeper muscles under superficial layers of skin, connective tissues and surface muscle. It’s actually a very slow and focused type of massage. You don’t move fast unless warming up the superficial layers. It can utilize deeper pressure, but does not have to.

You might feel sore the next day; absolutely. You might feel a bit like you have the flu. This is common, but not the norm. You can wake up the next day feeling 100% fine. These not fun effects are though to be caused by the muscles getting a work out during the massage- just like the gym. The flu effects are thought by some to be caused by gunk pushed out of the tissue and back into the blood and lymph systems, or by dehydration due to increased circulation. This is why therapists will commonly tell clients to drink a lot of water/hydrating fluid after a massage. One single cause is not nailed down by researchers yet. Regardless, you should never be so sore that you can’t function the next day. That’s called an injury. (There are some applications of this in Physical Therapy, but I am the last person to ask about that.)

Men give the deepest massages/Women only do the ‘fluffy stuff’

Again, this is silly. Take me for example: I am 5 foot zero and weigh 110 pounds, struggle lifting more than 50 pounds, and I have made a big biker guy cry on a dare. I was often the one in school to get the deepest pressure once I learned how to apply myself. (We tiny women actually have a reputation in the industry for this!) It’s not about strength or body type. It’s all about your body mechanics and leverage. I wish I had pictures of me pushing my foot/ standing against a wall to get deeper pressure into a client’s traps. Cuz it looks awesome. Plus, muscling your way through a massage is most likely to injure you as a therapist.

All massage is the same.

Massage is a scientific art form. This translates to there being as many styles of massage as there are therapists and clients. It all is dependent upon how/ what the therapist feels, personal experience, and training bias. Each client will receive a massage tailored to their body.There is no universal technique guaranteed to work on everyone. Every body is a wonderful, unique body. Every body.

I personally combine techniques from Deep Tissue, Structural, and Shiatsu massages. This for me turns to a relaxing massage that targets connective tissue to release longstanding holding patterns or to prevent them from forming after injury. I also specifically target techniques to stimulate the Endocannabinoid system. (Yeah. You read that right. Endocannabinoids.)

You shouldn’t get a massage if you are pregnant/ have cancer.

It used to be believed that massage could terminate pregnancy or spread cancer cells. Recent research shows the opposite to be true. Medical Massage has been shown to decrease unpleasant side effects of pregnancy and cancer treatments. There are different treatments for cancers that would be a contraindication (such as radioactive implants) and other medical conditions during pregnancy that would warrant it as well. There are other medical conditions or medications that require abstinence from massage, but that is in Part Two.

Massage is a new thing made up by hippies/ My character in a High Fantasy World/historical setting wouldn’t experience/need massage.

This is just silly. As we’ve seen in in our history, Massage is ancient, maybe even ingrained into our species. Massage was originally a tool of Shamans and other ancient healers- and very common in Midwifery. The applications of massage are endless in all time periods and worlds.

As for the hippy thing- Yeah. A lot of us are absolutely more 'crunchy granola’ than the rest of our medical world friends. Many believe and receive training in Energy Work including Reiki, accupressure, and other meridian massages. I won’t post any information on it here as this is a medical website and we do not have scientific proof of any of it yet. But it does happen, and at the VERY least has a strong placebo effect, so if you want to include it in your story, go for it. Just put some proper effort into how these things go down.

(BTW, you’ve probably seen some manner of funny human making jokes about their weird experience with an 'auric massage’ and the therapist just floated their hands above them, right? That’s because energy healers do not have the licesce to touch. As far as my current knowledge goes, there is no government regulation regarding energy workers of this class.)

Massage is a magic cure all

This may be originating more from bias within the profession- we all want to think what we do will help humanity live better all the time. Massage has HUGE benefits and many, but can’t fix anything and everything- and it certainly won’t fix you in one session. When I was recovering from a particularly nasty whiplash injury it took 6 months of bi-weekly appointments in conjunction with other therapy to fix me. How exactly this will work out I’ll cover in my second post.

Massage is a woman’s industry

This is mostly true, based only on statistics. It’s believed that only 12% of LMT’s are male. This is changing, slowly. It’s true for some pretty messed up reasons, and those reasons should die. Those who want to hide from some brutal feminist truth should leave now.

NOTE: What I am about to say does NOT apply to those of you who have suffered through any kind of trauma. Your worries and fears are valid and will be treated as such by any competent therapist.

Many people, male or female, simply do not trust male therapists- due to homophobia and gross concepts of masculinity, that being worked on by a male will make them gay/seem gay, or the fear that they will be accosted/fondled, even if they have no history of such a thing happening to them.

I straight up call out anyone who has the homophobic view as fucked up. Sometimes the thought isn’t even consciously homophobic. Casual bigotry is still bigotry. This also shows an underlying belief that all touch is somehow sexual.

So if your character doesn’t want a man touching them because it’s 'gay’, what does that say about them preferring a woman’s touch?

This also highlights the shitty idea that only women can be caretakers/healers/provide a service for tips or so on. It’s a similar situation to how people are surprised at or even mock male nurses, belittle high ranking female anything, or how a woman can’t be a soldier or cop. But that is a debate for another time. Just know it’s fucked up and please don’t perpetuate it, please do everything you can in your stories to change this view.

If you are going to a reputable business there is no worry about any of these things of course- for anyone. Laws, company policies, and personal ethics will prevent any misconduct on the therapist’s part.

Here’s a few things to read up on regarding this: 1, 2, 3: This one is long but one of the best.

It’s a fact of life for massage therapists that at some point in our careers that we will be propositioned, or accused of inappropriate conduct (even if it is only perceived misconduct, or someone angling to get a free service).

This is not to say that misconduct doesn’t happen. Unfortunately it does. If you are including this in your story please frame it as something that is quite not okay on the part of either party, and show that the proper action is taken by authorities. This should never be portrayed as okay ever. (I’m looking at you- “hand of glory at the end of my Thai Massage Dean Winchester.”)

So there’s a number of Mythconceptions busted here. If you want to continue your research, hit up a local practitioner in your area- Many are more than excited to spread their knowledge! If you made it all the way through, congratulations! Your prize is reading Part 2: When your character will be needing/receiving massage, when they won’t or really shouldn’t, how a modern set up will go and how the therapist might be, and possible applications in a non-modern set up!

Hey everyone! Aunt Scripty again.

I hope you enjoyed that post as much as I did. Thanks again to Nana for her expertise and experience, as well as writing-focused perspective!

If you are a healthcare practitioner and want to clear up some myths about YOUR specialty, hit me up and let’s talk!

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

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