#in previous flying dreams ive had issues with starting up from nothing / still air and always flew rly slow

[apeshit]

just had a super lucid dream but i was scared the whole time so it wasnt super fun

[polaristhngs]

Fearless (4/x)

Pairing: Dodge Mason x Female OC

Summary: As a moment of vulnerability strikes the pair, nothing else seems to matter. Nevertheless, no one can be trusted in the game of Panic. The game must go on. Dodge is reminded of his reason and determination in winning Panic when a familiar figure emerges.

Warnings: Minor Explicit Language, Mentions of Death and Accident, Abandonment Issues

Word Count: 5.4k

Disclaimer

I do not own the series of Panic or the characters. This is a slight AU of Season 1.

Masterlist || I. PANIC || III. TRAPS || V. PHANTOMS

IV. ESCAPE

Josie sat on the floor, busy filing the books at the Carp Public Library. Despite playing the game to win some money, she still needed to work to keep some income. She started working over there when she was fifteen. Before, she'd constantly visit the public library, picking and reading any book she found interesting. There weren't many people going into that place. It was quiet and if she wanted a distraction away from anything, her thoughts, people, she'd go there. It gave her peace of mind. There weren't many employees there either. Ms. Nina, the librarian, and the owner had a soft spot for the girl and gave her a job. She'd work there anytime she was free, so pretty much every day. She had to adjust her schedule due to Panic.

"Honey, you've been filing the cabinets since this morning. Kids shouldn't spend their entire summer in the library." Ms. Nina advises.

"It's okay. I'm aiming for employee of the month." Josie smirks.

"Josie, get out of here or you are fired. Get out. Enjoy some fresh air." The lady avows. Josie playfully displays a hurt expression.

"What is it with people and throwing me out? I don't need fresh air. I have books." She gestures to the tall bookshelf in front of her. Hugging some novels to prove Ms. Nina her point. The lady pulls her away from the shelf, dragging her out of the door. Josie whines.

"I'm gonna file the rest of these by myself while you go out with your friends and do stuff teenagers do."

"Y'know you're gonna miss me when I actually leave!" She decreed. Ms. Nina had dragged her outside of the building. She stands there speechless at what just happened. She really just threw me out. The lady shoots her a flying kiss before walking back inside the library.

She groans. What else was she supposed to do today? If it weren't obvious, she doesn't have a life. Heather and Nat were AWOL. Bishop didn't respond to her texts either. She could head over to the diner, she thought. But she wasn't really hungry and it was a little late for lunch. Her feet moved her in the direction back home. Where else was she supposed to go?

Taking a little stroll in the streets of Carp, she surveyed the buildings and streets she was all too familiar with. The town was a mess. She noted the little dent on the side of that building. The piled flyers stack on the wall on top of each other. Windows being cleaned up by shop owners. People going by their day. Josie sighed. It was kind of tiring to see similar familiarities around her. Truth be told, she didn't like small towns. It felt like a giant snow globe she couldn't get out of. She felt trapped. Another part of her reason for playing Panic was the dream of getting out of here. If there were any remains from the prize money she used to pay for their financial issues, she'd use it to get out of Carp and go just about anywhere. It felt like a pipe dream, but it always felt good to imagine it.

Josie viewed a notice slip that caught her eye. Printed on large, glossy sheets of paper, inscribed with the crest of the Police Department.

ANY INDIVIDUALS FOUND TO BE PARTICIPATING IN THE GAME COMMONLY KNOWN AS PANIC WILL BE SUBJECTED TO CRIMINAL PROSECUTION.

In smaller letters, the criminal charges were enumerated, reckless endangerment, destruction of private property, breaking and entering, intent to do grievous/bodily harm, drunken disorderliness.

Rumors spread after the previous challenge at Spurlock's that one of the players was caught by the man himself and was arrested. People said he squealed about the Panic challenges to one of the cops. We don't know if he spilled about the players' identities or further information about the game. Either way, everyone was giving him the cold shoulder.

Josie narrowed the notice, smiling a bit to herself. That wasn't gonna stop her from playing. If anything, it made people more eager to play.  Amongst the reason for being able to change their lives and get out of Carp, it was the adrenaline rush and the excitement that drove competitors to keep playing. The feeling it gave them. Like they could do anything. It was an escape.

Even if the cops manage to catch all of the participants and pretty much force them to end the game, it wouldn't work. Nobody believed that Panic would stop, of course. The game must go on. The game always went on.

She snapped back into reality. As she was walking, Josie spotted Dodge outside the diner, cleaning the windows splattered with paint. The girl readily makes her way toward him but halts her step as someone else beats her to it. She sights Natalie striding beside Dodge.

"Need some help?"

Dodge turn over at his side, seeing the girl grinning beside him with her arms crossed. He eyed Natalie up and down as he stared at her presence. His face remained the same expression as Natalie remembered. A faint and sort of blank expression. It never fazed her as she kept making conversation.

Dodge nods. She loomed closer, grabbing a cloth, and pressing it to the window as she takes off each colored pigment. "It's for the player's ball," Natalie stated, the tall boy looking at her in confusion.

"Player's what?"

"The player's ball. It's tradition for the emcee to host a party for the players and their guests."

"Couldn't they send an e-vite or something?" She chuckles as he roughly washed off the vandalized window. "It's more fun this way. And besides...it's a subtle way to get past the cops."

"Good point."

Josie stayed at a distance from across the street, seeing the two conversing with each other. The dark-haired girl looked down at her shoes, swallowing the something forming down her throat. She doesn't know why she is feeling butterflies in her stomach. She doesn't even know why her expression dulled as she glanced at the pair. Her doting stares at the boy overwhelmed her as she snaps out of it before walking anywhere else.

————

"I told you. I'm not going."

The brunette plops down on her bed, snuggling herself with a blanket surrounded by pillows. Heather is feeling down at the previous sight of Bishop with another girl. As much as she can deny all she wants that she does not hold any romantic feelings for her friend, her reaction fails to overlook. The mouth could say one thing, but the heart speaks a whole different language altogether. Josie brings the girl into a hug as she lays down in the bed. Heather continues to wallow as she extends her arms to Josie. Nat called the girls over to talk about their player's ball outfits. They immediately went over to the other girl's house when she declared she wasn't going. Josie and Nat found her with a saddened countenance in her dim-lit room.

"Heather, you are not gonna wallow in your bed forever just because you saw Bishop with another girl. We won't allow it."

"I'm not wallowing."

"Well, it seems like it."

Nat and Josie pull Heather up from her bed as the girl continues to hug her mattress.

"C'mon Heather. Tonight's the player's ball. You're gonna go. You're gonna look so hot and you're gonna have a good time. And you're gonna forget all about Bishop. Screw him." Nat tries to boost her mood.

"But we're still friends with him, right?" Josie questions. Natalie looked over the other girl before going through the closet of their friend.

"OK. C'mon ladies. So, what do you think? Manic pixie dream girl, tragic ingenue, or dangerous seductress?"

"Hmm..." Josie hums with a finger on her chin. "What about...tragic pixie...seductress?" She compromises.

Natalie snaps a finger at Josie's suggestion. "That's a good one." Josie smiled like a kid getting the correct answer. She glanced back at her friend who still has a visible frown on her face.

"Don't think about Bishop tonight. We're gonna have fun. You're gonna drink and party the hell out of it. We're gonna enjoy ourselves tonight, and you will too! Trust me." Josie encourages Heather. Heather groans as she places a pillow on her head.

"We'll fix you up good, Heather. Don't worry."

Once they finally got the girl out of her bed, the girls were busy selecting outfits from the collection of clothing Nat bought from the store. Choosing left and right for the perfect dress. It's a party. It is important that they get the right outfits for tonight. They picked out a beautiful red and black dress for Heather, pairing it with black heels. Natalie settled for a gold dress, while Josie chose the dark blue off-shoulder dress she had her eye on. Josie excitedly puts on the dress, pairing the dress with dark-colored heels she borrowed from Natalie. The girls started to apply makeup products to Heather's face. Blush at her cheeks, mascara, and red lipstick. Josie decided to put on a little bit of makeup and fixed her hair in a half-updo. She looks good, she commented to herself. After dolling up Heather, Nat and Josie smiled at their finished work, both proud of themselves and at the sight before them.

"We did an amazing job. Are you ready to see yourself, pretty girl?"

"Sure."

The two girls spun the chair, facing it towards the mirror for Heather to see herself.

"Hey, Hot Stuff!" Josie roared.

"Oh, come on. You look amazing!" The brunette cannot resist a smile as she looked beautiful. She felt flattered at her best friends' gesture. They were always there to cheer her up. She was lucky.

"No...I just feel like I'm trying too hard to look good." She examines herself in the mirror.

"No efforts necessary. You're gonna be the Belle of the ball tonight!" Josie exclaims. The girls laugh as the dark-haired girl continues to hype up her friend. They continued to check themselves out in the mirror. They did quite a good job. The girls look gorgeous. It was gonna be a night to remember. A sudden ring went off on Natalie's phone as she came to check it. A smile went up to her face as she read over the name peered over her screen. The two girls notice the distracted expression of the other girl.

"Who are you texting?" Heather asks.

"Uhm...Just Dodge." Nat answers. Heather nudges her friend, teasing her at the sudden closeness of the two. Since when did the two become so close? Was it during Spurlock's? Have they been talking ever since? She remembered their little exchange in front of the diner. They look great. Josie also thought about that. She can't help but have this weird feeling in her chest. She tried to hide that feeling from going up her face, but that didn't seem to go unnoticed by Heather who only glanced at the girl confusingly.

"How did you get his number?" Josie asks, keeping her voice as disinterestedly monotone.

"That day at the diner." She says, not looking up from her phone. "He said he's picking us up." Nat places her phone in her purse.

"Didn't know he's an Uber driver now." Josie jokingly says.

After replying to Dodge, Natalie walked over to the mirror with the other girls. "Did you know he has a sister?"

"What?!" Heather abruptly stopped fixing her hair and turned to look at Natalie with widened eyes. "He has a sister? How did you find out?"

"Me and Natalie went over to Dodge's house. She stole their mail." Josie replies. Natalie rolls her eyes at the girl's judgment.

"I don't understand why he's hiding his sister in the first place," Natalie asks in confusion.

"It's his choice if he wanted to keep it a secret," Josie mutters. She was right. The boy held many secrets and she wasn't interested in revealing any of them to other people if he wanted it to remain as such. She also wouldn't mind if he ever wishes to tell her any secrets about him, because that could mean that he trusts her. But she doubts that that could actually happen. Josie, on the other hand, telling him any secret of hers is another topic to dwell on.

The three girls took another moment to fix themselves up in front of the mirror before a car horn broke them from the trance. Nat peered over the window, telling the other two that Dodge is here. Josie grabbed her purse and headed down the stairs. Nat and Heather stayed for a little while for final retouches. Josie then proceeds to head out of the door first, seeing Dodge leaned up against his car all dressed up, hands in his pockets, wearing his signature black clothing.

"Are you gonna wear something else other than black?" Josie called out as she strode towards him.

He looks down at his black button-down shirt. "Why? You don't like it?"

"You do know there are other colors right?"

"I heard rumors."

The two shared a casual chuckle. Both bowed their heads at their small exchange. The boy took the moment to examine the girl. His eyes traveled down to her. He'd never seen her dress up. She had her hair all fixed up. He also noticed the small red on her cheeks. Josie looked lovely. Before he actually got to say what he thought, a voice interrupted them.

"Let's get going guys," Nat says as she and Heather swift their feet towards the car, opening the car door. The pair looked over at the girls. Josie's eyes followed her friends. She shot Dodge a small smile as she took a seat inside too. Dodge was the last one to get in the car as he took a second to breathe before driving towards the party.

————

The four walked into a raged zone full of almost drunk, party-dressed teenagers. Multicolored, neon lights illuminate the scene at the poolside of someone's house. Music blasted through the speakers as a couple of kids swayed on the dance floor. The girls held each other as they made their way in. The heart beats in excitement and at the sight of alcohol. They examined the crowd before seeing a familiar face.

"Holy shit. Luke Hall is here." Heather points out. The group snapped towards the direction of her gaze, seeing the adult drinking from a red solo cup around a bunch of other kids.

"I thought he moved away," Natalie said, observing the man.

"Wasn't he in jail or something?" Heather looked at the girls for confirmation of the rumor.

"He played Panic?" Dodge spoke up. "He won Panic." Josie corrects. "He wouldn't let us forget it." She had heard about it. The news was all over town, only amongst the teenagers of course. Luke walked around town like he was a king after his win. Dodge nods in response. Eyes narrowing down at the figure like a predator peering over its prey. His expression hardened as his jaw tightened.

"Didn't he hit a pedestrian with his car playing Joust?" Dodge quizzed. Josie turned her head at the boy beside her, seeing how his shoulders suddenly tensed up. "No. There was no Joust that year. Luke won in Roulette." Natalie says. "No one else would touch the gun," Heather added.

"I heard that Luke and Conrad Spurlock were in a stolen car." Summer chimes in.

"Bullshit." Drew, another player, added a reaction.

Josie kept a concerned look at Dodge who looks like he was about to hurl at someone. She had never seen the boy like this. She could see the vein popping out of his neck. The color drained out of his face. Is he even breathing? Josie inched closer to him, whispering. "Are you okay?"

Dodge quickly breaks his attention from Luke and turns to Josie, shaking his head. "What?...Y-yeah. Yeah. I'm okay." Dodge coughs, shutting off his reaction immediately. "I'm gonna grab a drink. Do you guys want anything?" The group broke from their daze and diverted their attention to Dodge's offer.

"Shots!" Heather exclaimed. The group cheered, adding in their requested drinks. Dodge left, heading over to the table with the drinks. She stared at him in confusion as his features dawned another expression. Josie is surprised as she looked over at the empty spots beside her. Heather and Nat seemed to part ways with the girl. Heather made her way to the dance floor. Nat makes her way to another group of people. She looked around in awkwardness, but her feet stayed where they were.

"Anyways, Hunt says the story is all bullshit." They continue the stories. Apparently, the new topic of conversation is Luke Hall.

"Yeah. If he actually hit somebody, they'd be in jail." Josie moved closer to the group speaking, her curiosity taking over her.

"Well, Spurlock and the D.A. are friends from high school." One added.

"So you think he helped to cover up a murder?" Josie quizzically looked at them. Panic took a dark turn last year when Jimmy, Sheriff Cortez's son, died from planning Panic. His girlfriend, Abby, also died from playing. It made the cops more vigilant and the crazy kids more eager to play. Some remembered the events differently. Some said it was an accident, other minds thought it was a more sinister play. Rumors continue to spread like wildfire. Josie didn't know what to believe.

"No, he didn't kill the girl. She's just paralyzed." Her attention snapped focused on the boy speaking. "My cousin works at a hospital in Freetown, and he says she's gonna be in a wheelchair for life."

Josie exhaled at the theory flooding her mind. Could it be? She tried not to think too much about it and jump to conclusions, but she couldn't help it. Some pieces of the puzzle are slowly laying out, fading in like clues. Josie glanced towards the boy over by the punch bowl. With his previous reaction and the allegations about Luke, and what happened last year, she grew confused.

————

Josie spent her night drinking soda from her red solo cup, dancing with Heather and Natalie on the dance floor when one of them comes into view, and walking around from one place to another when they suddenly disappear. She was never the party animal. Josie didn't even like to drink hard. She was pretty lightweight. She'd only go to parties when her friends would go. Josie would often cling to them as she was never the type to come up to someone all by herself and talk to them. She observed the crowds, spotting Ray Hall and Heather having a heated debate in front of the pool.

Her feet swayed over at the back of the house. A little spot she found. There she saw Dodge sitting down in the hot tub. He seemed to be distracted, not seeing the girl walking closer to him. Dodge continued to stare vigorously at the water surrounding him. He's here, his mind lamented. After what he had done, he didn't expect to see the guy. Let alone be in the same place as him. Dodge filled himself with alcohol to get that out of his head. His mind drifted towards Panic and the reason why he's playing it. The reason why he came into this town in the first place. All of it would be worth it in the end. He deeply sighed, all alone with his thoughts. A voice suddenly filled his ears.

"My god, you sound serious." Josie jokes, striding closer to the hot tub. He turned his head in the direction of the voice. He grins. Dodge was pleased to see her. "Didn't know you were the hot tub kind of guy." She continued, getting in the tub, sitting across from him.

"Are you spying on me, Josie?" He teasingly asks her.

"Yes, Dodge. I was standing over at the corner waiting for the chance to talk to you." She sarcastically jokes.

"You got your wish." He pointed out. "Yes, I did." She nods.

Dodge smiles again. Maybe it was the alcohol getting to him but he seems to be doing that quite often whenever he's around the girl.

"So this..." He points at both of them. "...Is that our thing?"

"What thing? We don't have a thing."

"What do you mean?" He softly said. Josie also took note of their little banters. She didn't think he would respond to her quips but him equally matching her wits made her like him more. "I believe we'd actually have to be friends for a'thing' to be established." She smirks, pointing it out.

"We're not friends? Ouch." He holds a hand to his heart.

"I'd actually have to know some things about you for us to be friends, Dodge Mason." Josie was right. They knew each other but it was merely an exchange of names and generalities. They didn't know the important parts. She didn't mean to pry but she kind of want to know more about the mystery of Dodge Mason, especially since little more information about him is beginning to unravel.

"You already know my full name. You know about Dayna. I think you already know where I live."

"Speaking of your full name..." She trails. "Why'd you go by Dodge?"  He looks at her with full amusement. "I'm not judging. I just want to know why you wouldn't rather go by Andrew."

He tries to formulate a grin. Aside from using his second name to be able to re-enroll to high school and play Panic, there is a deeper reason why he wouldn't go by Andrew. But he would rather not dwell on that right now. Instead, he lies.

"Dodge just sounds cooler."

"Seriously? That's the reason." A small tell from his face indicates he was probably not telling the truth. At least not the whole truth. Josie nods, deciding to turn a blind eye, and continued.

"Well, Dodge is certainly memorable. It is kind of a cool name." She sighs. "I wish I had a cool name."

"I like your name," Dodge said quietly. Josie smiles at the compliment.

"I still stand by my reason. I know your name but it doesn't mean I know personal things about you. Like, I don't even know your favorite color." Dodge was about to open his mouth to answer but Josie cuts him off. "—Wait. Don't answer that."

He hums, sitting properly because of how the conversation seems to be going. "Ok. Fine. Ask me anything."

Josie looks up at the sky, thinking of a question. This is probably a big step for him, so she decided to go easy on him. "Why don't you laugh?"

Dodge bowed his head down in embarrassment. "Too personal?" Josie playfully says. Seriously, Dodge thought. Dodge looks back up towards her, grinning. "I laugh." He shrugs his shoulders as he snickers.

"Then how come I never had the privilege of hearing it?"

"You heard me laugh."

"That..." She imitates. "is not laughing. That was like a small smile. It doesn't count."

"I laugh when things are actually funny." He informs. "So do you think I'm funny?" Josie tilts her head to the side, teasing the boy. "It doesn't count, remember?" He squinted.

Mouth agape at his response, the girl chuckles as she splashes water against the boy. He retorts back hitting her with water, thus resulting in a water fight. Both continuously striking each other with the warm water, none of them backing down. They practically almost emptied the water in the tub. She throws water over him, smiling as he paused briefly, using this chance to spray him some more. It was practically a miracle itself, Dodge's laugh echoed through her ears as both stopped their actions.

"You laughed. You're laughing!" Josie points at him in triumph. Continuously saying it, waving it in his face of what just happened. Dodge cannot seem to stop. The girl's reaction added more elation to his laughter.

"Ok. Fine. You win, Josie Slater." Dodge holds his arms up, surrendering. Josie smiles at Dodge. She's at a peak of euphoria thanks to him. The same goes for Dodge. Ever since he moved into town, this was probably the only time he ever shared a laugh with someone. He even barely laughs around his family as Dayna annoyingly comments at him. Josie is probably the only person in town he had the longest conversation with. He was growing comfortable around her. His judgment doesn't know if it was a good or a bad thing but it felt refreshing. Dodge didn't hesitate to look at the girl. Josie wasn't sure what that look meant but she accepted it with grace, responding just the same.

Things went quiet for a while. It was a kind of quiet that didn't feel awkward. Every single quiet thing could be said just by their mere presence. They could probably not talk for so long and things would still remain the same between them. Regardless, Dodge didn't want to stop talking to her. And so did Josie. There's been this weird and interesting instinct that forms around Dodge whenever she's around. Like he's being pulled into something. Something unknown. Something he never saw coming. And coming from him, the unknown could be a scary thing.

"I think you're scared," Josie says.

"Of what?"

"I don't really know yet. But I'm gonna find out."

"You want to know what to know what I'm afraid of?" Dodge inched closer and closer to her. Josie's eyes didn't back down as it kept its gaze on Dodge's.

They were in closer contact now than the night at the granary. She was still haunted by their close proximity that night, and their close proximity at Spurlock's ranch, even just for a brief moment. But then, she was injured and he was helping her. Now...she doesn't know the reason why. Josie just thinks if her mind starts interrogating the reasons, she would lose her mind. They were now at eye level with each other. Her pupils dilated just as Dodge's face drew closer to hers. Josie tried to look like her heart wasn't beating so rapidly.

"Dolphins." Giving her a little time to react, he rose up and made a large splash, causing Josie to cry out. He continued, splashing like a madman. Despite her face and hair getting soaked, she still had a smile on her face.

"My turn." Dodge leans beside her. He paused before thinking of a question. "When'd you move to Carp?"

"That's your question?" Her eyebrow rose. He nods. Maybe it was the whole mood of the night or the feeling that anything could happen and Dodge couldn't help but feel like there was no one else he could relate to in this town than Josie. Maybe it was the perks of being the only two new kids, regardless of her already having a longer stay in Carp. He wanted to know more about her. He figured he'd start with that. Josie clasps her hands before taking a deep breath. "Alright"

"Umm..." She begins. "I moved here from California when I was twelve. My...mom," she almost sneered at the word. "She wanted a fresh start...After my dad died." She blinks in realization. Fuck, what am I doing?

"I'm sorry. I-I didn't know why I said that out loud. I'm sorry. Nobody really asks me about this stuff. Why would I even say that?" Josie scrunched up her face, apologizing for her words. She didn't mean to dump her sad story about her life on him. She escalated the conversation to a different route and she didn't mean to. She ruined everything. Why would you do that? She beats up her mind.

"No. No. It's fine." Dodge comforted. "It's okay." He looks at the girl who's been shaking her head. "My dad died too. He..." Dodge paused. "I'm just saying he's gone too, so I understand. Don't apologize for that." He breathed.

"What about your mom? What happened to her?"

Josie looked away, sighing deeply. "I don't know."

"She left. Right after my dad died, she just left me and my brother, Nick, here. No note. Nothing. Sometimes she'll come around only to steal our money for god knows what." Her mind flashes back to those moments when she would wait on the doorstep, near the phone, looking forward to the mail. Any other way that could indicate that her mom was coming back to them. Josie could feel the liquid forming in her eyes. She fidgets with her fingers as she tried to hold it back.

"I'm sorry, I'm babbling, aren't I?"

"Just keep talking," Dodge says, ushering her to continue.

Dodge continued to listen to the girl as their talk took an emotional turn. He kind of guessed she was holding back on something and was a bit guarded but he didn't think she was feeling a sense of loneliness. Josie reminded him a little bit of himself. He too was carrying baggage but he never would've smiled and pretended everything was okay like Josie. He meant what he said about them both being outsiders. Dodge could see that little hint of despair in Josie's eyes and it angers him to see her brush it off like it was nothing.

"She just runs away from us and crazy enough, I always hope that maybe this time she'll stay." She looks down at her lap, can't seem to meet his eyes in embarrassment. "That's why I'm gonna get out of here. When I get the chance."

"What do you mean?"

"If I ever win Panic, if I'm feeling a little selfish, I would get out of Carp."

"Why are you gonna leave?" His eyes focused on her. "I figured that there's nothing left for me here anyway. Heather, Nat, and Bishop are probably gonna leave someday. And then I'll just be left alone again." She tries to brush off the sad feelings with a light laugh. "Maybe I'm just running away before anyone else gets the chance of leaving me. I mean, would anyone even stay if I ask them to?"

"You could ask me..." Dodge said softly. More like a light whisper he didn't expect her to hear. But she did. She really did. His gaze grew tender at the girl as she turned her look away from her lap and looked at him. It was the kind of look like everything between them has been understood. That for a split second, nothing else mattered. Dodge no longer sees the girl as just this brightly lit ray of sunshine. He still does though, but the sun never shines without rain. Behind that smile was a girl feeling alone. Abandoned.

Josie could feel her heart rising and resting slowly. A gentle, comforting echo in her chest. Her eyes traveled to Dodge's and it gave her a feeling. She didn't know what it was but scared her. Something that she told herself she wouldn't go through once again. A promise she made herself that she wouldn't put her faith in other people anymore. People always disappointed her. If she let her guard down, they'll just hurt her. They always do. His fingers slowly reached for hers under the water. Just before he could reach her, she pulled away. Building up her walls again, Josie coughed at their level of closeness and abruptly stood up from the hot tub. Quickly put on her dress and walked back to the party.

She could hear Dodge calling out her name but she ignored him and continued walking. Trying to find Heather or Natalie. Dodge quickly put on his clothes, running after the girl. He wondered what he did wrong and wanted to comfort her. There is nothing he wanted to do than to reach her and tell her that it was ok. If he crossed a line, he wanted to apologize. He'll apologize for anything if she wanted him to. The train of thought was slowly dismissed as he peered over the large crowd surrounding a pillar left with a big red symbol painted over it.

Friday. From dusk till dawn. Graybill house.

The crowd continued to stare over the message. Deducing whoever did this and having their speculations. Dodge looks around, seeing the runaway girl reunited with her friends. She noticed his gaze on her before looking away. Dodge then turns his attention to the pillar, pressing his fingertip against the pigment.

"It's still wet. Couldn't have gone up more than a few minutes ago."

"But that means—"

"The judges are here," Heather says.

"At least one of them anyway." Ray agrees.

Everyone looked around. Left and right. Eyeing down each other with suspicion. Speculating if the judges are with them right now. If the person beside them was the judge. If they passed by them. Everyone tensed up in the room. Chills ran down their spine as everyone was not to be trusted.

[alia-turin]

Title: Broken Bonds [Chapter IV] Previous chapters: Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III AO3

Characters:

OC, Libertus Ostium, Cor Leonis,  Luche Lazarus (mentioned), Titus Drautos | Glauca (mentioned), Nyx Ulric (mentioned), Gladiolus Amicitia, Crowe Altius (mentioned), Iris Amicitia, Prompto, Ignis

Warning:

SFW. probably minor Comrades spoilers

Notes

Too much angst in the previous 4 chapters so now is time for something slightly more relaxing. I needed to write that because the angst was getting too much even for me. Next couple of chapters would be a bit more cheerful. Special mention of @birdsandivory for allowing me to use her AMZING tinder edits for inspiration. Please go check them here and laugh your asses off: http://birdsandivory.tumblr.com/kingsglaive

Tagging: @birdsandivory  @yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy @jojopitcher @fromunseeliecourt @xanxusthot @lazarustrashpit (I promise Luche wasn’t always a dick) @littlestfangirl

This dream, as many of her dreams, was just an old memory.

She woke up from the sound of somebody entering her apartment. Ada got up, knife in hand and wrapped straight to the intruder.

“Easy now. It’s just me.” Luche was holding his hand in the air and she let go.

“Why…how did you get in.”

“I broke in.” he showed her his tools. “You didn’t s how up yesterday or today and you didn’t answer your phone or respond to any of my text messages.”

Her eyes fell on the phone lying lonely on the coffee table, the light for missed call blinking angrily.

“I didn’t hear it.” She didn’t even remember leaving her phone there. “I told the captain I will be away.”

“He is gone for some business. You should have told me as well.” He was getting to his bossy self but raised an eyebrow teasingly. “What’s with the dress?”

She had to look at herself to realize she was still wearing the black dress from yesterday.

“I was at a funeral.” She answered.

“Somebody I know?” his sounded concerned.

“My dad.”

“I’m sorry to hear that” he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “You should have told me, I would have come with you, you shouldn’t be alone.”

She stared at him not sure what to say. It didn’t even cross her mind to ask anyone to come with her. She had told Drautos she needed leave and the reason, he told her to take a week off and that was it. Truth was that her father has been sick for such a long time that it was expected and she didn’t feel like there is a need to ask someone to come with her.

“Come on change in something more comfortable. I will make you breakfast.” He pushed her gently toward her bedroom.

“You don’t have to…” she started but he interrupted her.

“Yes, I do. Come on, I promise I won’t poison you.”

As she was changing her clothes she could hear him going through her pans, pots, plates and swearing as he dropped something on the ground.

“Do you need help?” she shouted from the bedroom.

“I will not be defeated by a pan, don’t worry.”

When she walked back in the kitchen he was frying eggs and bacon. Smelling the food made her realize how hungry she was.

“Thank you.” Ada said, but that was when the dream went out of hand. In her memories what he did then was turn around and ask her if she wanted him to stay for the day. Her dream had chosen different course of actions. Instead as Luche turned he was holding his gun and shot her in the chest.

Ada woke up sweating and shaking. These dreams never stopped. Ever since she left Insomnia she was having these dreams, memories turning into nightmares. Sometimes they weren’t memories, but close enough, small details were different, but essentially it was her previous life ending with everyone dying.

There was no chance she would be able to sleep more so she just got out of the bed. She went through her backpack in attempt to unpack and make this place a bit more ‘hers’ but there was nothing in that backpack that could help. The only item that was somehow related to her old life was her phone and it had died on her months ago. She made a mental note to find someone to fix it.

Since there was nothing better to do, Ada walked out. The town was sleeping excluding few guards on the wall and around the entrances. The demons roaming outside the barricades could be heard but by now she was so used to their sound that it didn’t bother her. Walking down the streets, she found her way to the hotel where she saw the Marshal. He was alone, just standing there like a statue. Ada wondered if interrupting him would be a good idea, but apparently, they both had issues sleeping so why not kill time till breakfast.

“Cannot sleep?” The Marshal offered her the bottle he was holding and Ada was going to question his senses for drinking alone in the middle of the night but as she touched the liquid with her lips she realized it was water.

“Nightmares. I used to have them now and then while I was in Insomnia but since the city fell it has been every night.”

“You want to share?” he sounded somehow different. Not like the Marshal but friendlier.

“Not much to share. I dream mostly memories. Things that happened and it all ends messed up. Hanging out with friends, having fun and then suddenly they all die or I die.” Her brain had managed to ruin every single good memory she had and turn them all into parade of broken or burned bodies.

“Oh those.” He agreed as if he was an expert on nightmares. “It ruins everything, doesn’t it? Every single memory you have, good or bad ends up being just a graveyard.”

Ada didn’t answer at first. She didn’t know what to say exactly. He was right of course, everything and everyone she ever loved had turned into zombie trying to kill her.

“You need to let go.” Cor continued since she didn’t answer. “If you don’t let go, it just kills you.” Another pause then he continued again. “If you couldn’t help the people you love, you can help them.” He made a gesture with his hand toward the dark buildings in Lestallum.  

Ada opened her mouth to argue with him, but what Libertus told her last night also hit her at the same time. It wasn’t hear fault, and regardless how much guilt she felt about everything, rationally there was nothing she could have done.

“How do you let go?” she asked after they both stood in silence.

“You cannot let go because you had a purpose. Protect the king, win the war, protect your home, protect your friends, make sure they all come home alive. Now the king is dead, the kingdom is gone and there is nothing left. You are wrong. The kingdom is here and needs people with skills, people who can stop them.” He pointed with his head toward the demons roaring outside. “Trust me, I am an expert on the topic of letting go and not letting go.” He gave her a friendly smile and for some reason Ada felt like a massive weight had fallen off her chest. What he was saying wasn’t solving any of her problems of course. Her brain wasn’t going to completely forget everything just because Cor the Immortal said so, although he did manage to hit a spot.

“Thank you, Marshal.” Ada smiled back at him and for first time in months it was an honest smile. Not a sad one or forced one, she was truly feeling better.

“Now you need to do something for me. I promised someone I will train with them before breakfast, but something came up and I will be leaving Lestallum probably until tomorrow or the day after. If you go to the power station, just next to the bridge he should be there around sunrise. His name is Gladio, hard to miss him, bug guy, scars across his face…”

“I met him yesterday.” Ada interrupted the description.

She spent the time before sunrise going around town and chatting with some of the hunters. Ada wondered if she shouldn’t talk with Libertus but common sense won and she decided he won’t like her more for waking him up so early. Instead she just walked up to the power station and waited for Gladio to appear. The man was exactly on time which honestly surprised her. The people around town have complained about the prince’s retainers and she expected him to be fashionably late. He was just on time, probably a bit early.

“You are way too good looking to be Cor.” He was carrying a massive sword with himself, the weapon was probably larger and heavier than Ada.

“He is busy. Told me to keep you company.” Ada pulled one of her knives and tossed it in her hand.

“If I win, you are having breakfast with me.” Gladio chuckled and walked toward the bridge that was between the city and the power station.

Ada laughed, she was sure she would lose, but on the other hand breakfast sounded amazing.

They started slow. Gladio made one attack which Ada hoped is not his best because it honestly was too easy to see. She wrapped once aiming for his throat but he threw her flying away towards the wall.

“If that’s what the glaive is made of, I’m honestly disappointed.” Gladio taunted her, but she ignored him. Taunting each other was what the Glaives did in their free time, that wasn’t going to ruin her concentration.

They fought for probably fifteen minutes, neither of them getting an upper hand. Gladio wasn’t very fast but he was hellishly strong and was good at avoiding her magic attacks. She was trying to find an opening, but it was hard when her opponent was twice her size and every attack was counter attacked with strength she could barely stop. Eventually Ada decided to play dirty. She stopped attacking him and was focusing only on building a spell and avoiding his attacks. Once she was done with the spell she unleashed it on him. The weather around Gladio suddenly changed, snow and wind wrapped around him blocking his visibility.

She could hear him cursing and wrapped towards the storm. She hated this spell because it affected everyone, friend or foe, herself included. For her surprise he still had pretty good instinct where to find her, but this time she was faster. She tripped him making him lose his balance, wrapped again, on top of him as he was falling, her thighs squeezing hard his neck.

As the storm cleared Gladio just stared at her, his head between her legs.

“I’m not sure if I’m aroused right now or scared.” He tapped on the ground. “I will give you that one.”

“Whoaaa that was so good!” they had managed to collect small audience which made Ada feel a bit uncomfortable. She let go of Gladio and gave him a hand to stand up.

“It’s not every day that Gladio falls on his ass.” A bubbly blond boy with camera in his hand came towards them. “Can’t wait to show you the pictures.”

“Prompto, shut up or you are next.” Gladio roared at the younger man.

“Gladi, you are such a bad loser. She won fair and square.” Iris had joined them as well, she seemed in very good spirits for someone who just saw their brother falling flat on his ass.

“Crownsguard zero, Kingsglaive one.” Ada looked confused at Libertus as he said that. She was sure he was too upset with her, but nothing like that was visible on his face. “Even the Marshal was impressed.” He continued.

“I thought he left town?” Ada asked.

“He did but he watched for a bit.” Libertus answered and gave her friendly punch on her shoulder.

“Come on big guy, Iggy made breakfast.” Prompro didn’t seemed concerned with the larger man’s threats. “You guys should join us.”

Ada followed Libertus and the rest in silence. Iris was walking next to her telling her how much she loved to see her fighting and she wanted to learn to fight like that which earned her a disapproving look from Gladio but Ada just winked at the girl.

They didn’t go back to the canteen, but one of the calmer places in town. She hasn’t been there, but for her surprise she saw there were some tables and chairs left. Probably there used to be a restaurant around here or something.

“You are finally here.” A very well-dressed man was standing next to one of the tables, with few baskets which Ada hoped were filled with food.

“Iggy you should have been there to see Gladio getting his as kicked.” Prompto seemed way to happy by the fact his friend lost the fight.

“Even if I was there I can’t exactly see it, Prom.” Just now Ada noticed his eyes. He was wearing glasses but that wasn’t unusual so it didn’t raise her suspicion, but under the glasses she could see heavily scared tissue. “Help me with the food.”

The blond man seemed a bit ashamed of what he said and without protesting helped setting the table. Iris proceeded to introduce the two guys Ada didn’t know. Ignis and Prompto turned out to be two of the prince’s retainers. They had just arrived in Lestallum and were helping with the rebuilding efforts.

“You should open a restaurant.” Ada said as soon as she tried the food. “Honestly that is the best thing I have eaten in my life.”

“I second that.” Prompto added. “There is so much free space around Lestallum now, people will love to try your food!”

“And will be good for moral.” Libertus added.

“It would be hard to find the ingredients.” Ignis objected but nobody else was buying it.

“Make it exclusive! Ignis’ special for the day.” Gladio suggested. “Only the best meats and spices brought to you by the hunters and cooked by chef Ignis. That should be your tag line.”

“It’s too long for a tag line.” Ignis corrected him.

Gladio proceeded to offer even more ridiculous tag lines which the other man just denied.

“Libertus.” Ada turned towards her fellow glaive. “Do you know where I can fix my phone?” she pulled the device from her pocket and showed it to the man.

“I can fix it!” Promto said and pulled the phone from her hand. Ada just stared at the blond as he started dissembling the phone and looking at various parts inside. Couple of minutes later he put it back together and turned it on.

“How did you…” Ada had tried everything she could in order to get it up and running, but she never could. The phone vibrated as all the missed calls and text messages started arriving.

“Hey who are these guys?” Prompto smiled showing her the home screen of her phone. It was an old picture of Ada with Luche, Nyx and Crowe. She opened her mouth to say something but couldn’t.

“Hey didn’t I take this one, when Crowe almost killed me?” Libertus managed to come to her rescue and Ada was once again surprised how much he had changed. He had grown up, he was dealing with things.

“Yeah it was after you and Nyx made that dating site profile for her.” They both laughed.

“Wish I knew she had dating site profile.” Gladio was looking at the picture since everyone was occupied with that now. Libertus gave him a slightly angry look and Ada had to hold her laughter. Crowe would have smacked both of them.

“It was a game we used to play.” Libertus explained. “We would steal each other’s phone and make absolutely ridiculous dating profiles. Crowe almost killed me when we did one for her. In my defense I just had lunch and I couldn’t wrap very fast.”

Ada laughed almost with tears, remembering Libertus and Nyx screaming and wrapping and Crowe shouting after them. Those were good memories. Bitter sweet right now, but she preferred to remember her friends laughing rather than dying.

“Nyx,” Ada pointed at him on the picture since technically only she and Libertus knew who Nyx was, “He stole the captain’s phone and created a profile. It had few hits, but then that guy” she pointed at Luche “Changed it to something of the sort the captain can do anything in under 2 minutes. The messages he started receiving were…terrible.”

“Nyx ended up cleaning shoes for a month and I was made to clean the locker rooms. Somehow Crowe didn’t get a punishment and Luche managed to get your ass out if it.” Libertus explained while laughing very hard. “Somehow Nyx and myself were the only people punished.”

“No that is not true. The captain created a profile for Tredd and honestly I think Tredd would have gladly cleaned shoes.” She wished she had screenshot of what the captain wrote because Tredd had been grumpy for a week after that. It was so hard to believe the Captain was General Glauca given how he treated them.

It was strange feeling, one that she had forgotten completely. Yes, Crowe, Nyx and Luche were gone, one of them probably deserving, but she didn’t feel sad for first time in months. There was nostalgia and she missed them all more than anything, but maybe she had started to move on. She had to find the Marshal to thank him one for the advice and two for setting her up to train with Gladio since none of that would have happened if it wasn’t for Cor the Immortal.

[palztothewalls-blog]

It’s the end and the beginning...

“I love the person I’ve become because I fought to become her.”

I’ve made it! Day 14 post op. Thank you for taking this journey along with me. I honestly could never have mustard the strength to do all of this on my own. Here’s a little update of the last few weeks.

Surgery went fairly predictable for being something that has really never been seen. They got to the tumor and it appeared small, until they started removing (decompressing) the bone surrounding it.

(To clear the air of confusion, my tumor from the get go was not going to be removed. It is located in my brain, right at the inner portion of where the ear canal essentially starts. The purpose of leaving the tumor was to provide me the esthetics of having a face with as much normal function as possible. If the tumor was removed, I would have experienced anywhere from 6 months to almost 2 years of severe paralysis that likely would only return to, at best, where I am today with function. So it stays.)

All of the bone was removed and the tumor grew substantially. So in all actuality, my tumor was larger than imaging showed because it was so compressed. When the bone was removed, the tumor expanded greatly in size. My doctor couldn’t give me an exact size but I will find out on my next scan in about six months, just how big it is. All in all, the surgery lasted somewhere between 4-6 hours? I’m not sure. It was a long time.

When I initially woke up, I was quizzed on the basic questions, who was I, where was I, what year, day, month, who was president, how old was I. Basically, I failed them all. Horribly. As you may have read from a previous post, I was a 27 year old unamed woman who had NO idea where she was but I’ll be damned if I got the president right. Obama. Giggles ensued with the staff as they ask again. I was so sure I was right. Shortly after my failed attempt at answering the questions, my family came in the room and I was getting the answers right…. back to ol Trump being the president haha!

So after that challenge, I experienced another, less funny problem. I remember screaming (okay repeating the beautiful word fuck at the top of my lungs) because I was in so much pain. My head hurt, sure, but my biggest complaint was my left shoulder. It was horrible and I was left with minimal function of it. My heart rate was 100-130s and my blood pressure was pretty elevated 150s/90s. Because of all of these complaints, the NP in the ICU had some concerns that I was experiencing symptoms of a heart attack. She had some labs drawn on me, and shocker, they came back elevated. Triponin is a level that shows stress on the heart, and anything >0.12 is indicative of a heart attack. My first level was 0.11. Repeat a couple hours later was 0.12. By this time, it’s the morning after surgery. I had no idea by this time what was going on. The NP came in and told me all of this and said my EKG was normal and long story short, my elevated levels had nothing to do with my heart but was because of the prolonged and aggressive surgery. The levels returned back down to normal on the next draw.

Sometime in the night, about 12 hours after surgery, I had my 18 million IVs saline locked (okay 4), art line out, and foley cath out. I was tickled fucking pink because I was told this would likely be 24 hours after surgery. I was up allllll night walking to the restroom and back. My momma, bless her heart, was up all night with me. It was awesome…. for me to be up and moving. After the heart debacle, I got transferred to the neuro med surg floor and I accepted it as a challenge to get out in 24 hours. I was shot down when I saw the doc in the ICU about the idea of going home, go figure. So I walked my ass off literally all night. Sunday morning, doc came in, took off that horrid compression on my head and gave me the green light to go home. No more than 30 minutes later, 48 hours after surgery, my ass was in the car ready to go. I maaaaaaaay have already had everything packed at like 5 am knowing I was kicking ass haha.

So Sunday was awesome. Monday came. F my LIFE, Monday was hoooooooorrrrrrible. My shoulder pain was pretty much the devil, the pain in my head felt like I had the cast of Drumline in my brain, and I was exhausted. I some how made it through the day knowing Tuesday would be better. WROOOOOONG. It sucked just as bad. Maybe more. But then Wednesday came. And I’ll be darn, I felt alright. This whole time, my parents have been awesome in caring for me, making yummy meals and doing anything and everything to help me. God bless them.

Thursday came and I was ready to go home. From there, it’s only been downhill? Uphill? It’s been awesome. Each day I have felt better and better. My pain is essentially gone. My pre surgery symptoms have almost all disappeared. I no longer feel like I have a 20 pound mass in a 2 pound casing. My memory has finally returned to normal although there are a few things from pre surgery that I can’t remember were real or a dream. I still have pain, but the pain I have is from the trigeminal neuralgia, which is caused by nerve damage (in my case hector pushing on that nerve). I’ll likely always have this pain, but for me, only having this is totally doable.

So, the next step? Hopefully never having to go through this again. If symptoms return, I’ll do the big whammy of a surgery to remove hector and graft a nerve back in the spot. Fingers crossed that never happens!!!

So to finish out what I hope to be my last post about hector, I’m going to share a list I’ve been creating of things you never knew until you have a brain tumor… and surgery. It’s fun to see the progression I made as the list goes on Enjoy!!

Headaches all of the sudden seem scarier because you know they are a sign of a growth in you, of which you have no control over.

People look at you differently. Like long sweet eye gazing looks. Like I have super human powers, or I am so pretty that they can’t stop getting enough of my beauty.

Free stuff. People all of the sudden want to gift you with items, drinks, food. Listen, I am not complaining. This is the best!!

Unsolicited advice. It comes flying in. Try this or try that. Essential oils, rub them on your head. Eat all protein, the ketosis will shrink it. Exorcism. Plexus! Beeeaaacchhh body! Have you tried low carb? How about the spleen of a donkey? Drop it. It’s unsolicited and I don’t want it. Thanks though!

You cry a lot. I mean, I cried a lot prior to my diagnosis because everyone thought I was crazy. Now I cry because I have a flipping brain tumor.

Naming it helps. It really does. Hector is an a-hole. But his little 5 letter name has nothing on me. I’m badass… that’s 6 letters of strength.

Friends and family respond in weird ways. Some look at you like you’re still the same ol spunky ass you are, while others think you’re a delicate flowers, and then those who just can’t even be friends anymore. That’s cool. I don’t need you in my life either, I got this!

That silly cancer “this is my fight” song is all of the sudden totally applicable. Tears. Lots of them. I am a strong woman.

The reality of needing to shave part of your head becomes oh to real. Like my hair?! This?! I JUST grew it out!

“Well thank God it’s not…” “It could be worse.” Literally words you hear constantly but are in no way comforting. True, I’m not going to die tomorrow. BUT, I still have an abnormal growth of cells that, if untreated, will ultimately likely kill me due to pressure on my brainstem. So thank god for that!

Finally having an excuse to stay in. Before people thought I was just making up my fatigue. Now I have a $6000 image to prove why I have fatigue. I should sell that image for art!

It’s like you’re wearing a stamp on your head saying “tell me all your horrible friend/family medical issues.” I’m not sure why this is the case. I mean, it doesn’t help. Should it make me feel better? I’m not sure here.

Blogging is essential. While it means the WORLD to have the support, love, and prayers from everyone, it is extremely exhausting keeping everyone up to date. Blogs fix that. And I happen to love writing so it’s a double win.

Having that “one” friend is key. While people want to support you, they often can’t fulfill the need to your requirements. It’s because they haven’t gone through it. They don’t get it. That’s okay. Find that someone who does get it. They will be your best friend who really gets it. Traci is my gold.

All of your daily fears are gone. Instantly. While I want nothing more than to be a wife and mother, it’s no longer on my mind daily. I just don’t care. Drama is stupid, always has been, but now I really don’t care.

MRIs suck. Bad. Open MRI? Not an option when it’s your brain. And it requires hours of imaging, all the time. I mean, I’m practically a walking nuclear power plant with all of the imaging I’ve had.

Speaking of MRIs. They are loud. Like 10 motorcycles sitting in this tiny little tube with you. And, the beautiful noice makes your insides shake in synchronized rhythm. Word of advice… don’t have one if you have an upset stomach. It’s bad.

You rarely get to wear your own clothes in the MRI. All metal must be out. Usually you get a fashionable moo moo that wraps around 10 times. Super comfy.

Let’s keep on the topic of MRIs. I legitimately feared I was going to be ripped out of this thing by a zombie. Apparently it’s a common fear to have. Who knew?!

You immediately get initiated into this little “special” group of people. I have met people from all over this country within a few weeks. It provides for great friendship and resources for doctors that may fit you well for your specific type of tumor.

Every day, you say to yourself “I have a brain tumor.” Every single day. Initially, it was every second of every day. It was literally all I could think. Now it’s maybe once or twice a day. A random thought about it, mostly just when someone else brings it up, and then move on with life.

It never gets easier to say though. I have a brain tumor. Nope. Never easier. Just starts to roll of the tongue easier lol.

I have a lot of anxiety, now a million times worse knowing what I know.

I really hate talking about Hector. A lot. It makes my anxiety escalate through the roof.

Appointments. The devil. Impending doom. What will the next step be? I certainly can’t sleep before them.

While speaking of appointments, one must paint their toenails before the neurology appointments. It NEVER FAILS, the nurse will say “take off your shoes and socks and the doctor will be right in.”

Then there’s brain surgery. You hope you get some superpower from it. Me? I wanted to come out speaking fluent French or Spanish. No such luck.

Brain surgery really is that bad, initially, but after a few days, life gets better and you start feeling like you again.

Remember that fear of shaving your head? It’s gone after you do it. Now you have a badass scar that provides endless amounts of strength.

I love my scar. It’s beautiful to me. I’m not ashamed, and you should never be ashamed of a battle fought hard, no matter if the scar is inside or outside.

All those appointments you had before surgery, you will still have them, and imaging all the time after. Will it ever stop? No.

Everyone compares their bad days to my bad days, and it helps them feel better. While I am happy my illness helps you have a better day, it doesn’t matter what the battle is, it’s you conquering and moving forward with life.

May you never forget that. Don’t ever compare your battles in life and try to belittle or expand the severity based on someone else’s life. This is your battle, your life. Fight on. Be strong. Have faith. There will come a day when you wake up after the battle is over and find that joy and peace you’ve been searching and asking for.

After 12 ½ years of battling and advocating, I sign off and pray I never have to return to this blog. Much love to you all and Hector, go to hell!

[jo-shaneparis18]

Travel to Venice

1/05/2019: We planned for ten o'clock departure to the airport. The plane was to fly out at ten to one and arrive in Venice at two thirty. We flew Air France of course, the second deadliest airline in the world. Earlier on, Shane took a walk a bit up L'Avenue des Champs-Élysées to get some photos with minimal traffic around. It was still a bit nerve racking trying to cross the road around Place de Concord. The cars seemed to come out of nowhere, from around bends and out of lane ways at what seemed excessive speed.

Roofscape from our apartment

Walking back, there was an interesting area to the left with an impressive column at its centre. Place Vendôme was at the end of Rue de Castiglione and the start of a popular shopping street, Rue de la Paix. Originally called Place des Conquêtes, Place Vendôme was set up as a monument to Louis XIV and the glory of his armies. The square today is surrounded entirely by hôtels particuliers and although once tenanted by fashionable and high end hotels as well as numerous famous designers, they are mostly gone with only a few remaining.

Napoleon's Column had a more interesting history. Originally, an oversized equestrian statue of the Sun King was erected in the centre of the square but only lasted until the revolution. During 1806, at the direction of Napoleon to celebrate his victory at Austerlitz, construction of the first column was commenced. Four years later and modelled after Trajan's Column in Rome, it was completed. A statue of Napoleon graced the top. Following the Bourbon Restoration, the statue was removed and melted down to partially contribute the bronze required for the statue of Henry IV on Pont Neuf. A couple more Napoleon statues have been placed at the top of the column over the years but the whole thing was brought down during the Paris Commune and re-erected a few years later after the commune's demise, another copy of Napoleon on top.  

Napoleon finally toppled. 1871 (Wikipedia)

Napoleon's Column today

Although, with most of the packing done last night, there was still a bit to do, particularly with ensuring that all of the suitcases that were packed to spot on twenty three kilos and the rest carry on. We also had one more call to make, to the taxi driver who dropped us off a few days ago. No luck as it turned out. Through his daughter he apologised for not being able to take us. Not enough notice or his day off maybe. It was after all, May Day.

The decline wasn't too much of an issue, we were ahead of schedule and on the footpath well before ten where we immediately encountered a small Peugeot wagon out front. We needed another one that would carry three suitcases. A few minutes later, some sort of Volkswagen van drove passed. We hailed it, filled it with suitcases and women and Tom and sent it off to Charles de Gaul, Terminal 2. Beau and Shane took the other costing fifty-five euro each. The trip was quiet and non-eventful owing to the public holiday.

It was the May Day public holiday which had a tradition of violence in Paris with protest marches being the norm. During our journey Cecilia noticed small groups of individuals walking in the same direction in one of the outlying suburbs, and up to no good. Who knows what could have been brewing. We were in fact lucky as today was Tuesday so it ruled out the sometimes violent yellow vest protests that occurred on Saturdays and we were also lucky that the unions had a programme of industrial action that shut down the airports. They advertised in advance and today wasn’t part of it. The rest was yet to be seen.

Continuing on from the uneventful was the flight and boarding process, once we got past the stickers on bags bit at check-in. Through security, swiftly through duty free looking at the overpriced everything and down to the eating area which would leave Sydney for dead, although the prices reflected this. A point in case was Cecilia's thirty-nine-euro pikelet with salmon and caviar on sour cream. Tasted delicious but was only about four mouths full. There was plenty of ritzy food around but still plenty for the plebs. We were okay.  A couple of hours waiting around, onto the boarding area, and onto the plane. Everything worked like a dream.

Nice looking tucker. If you can afford it

This flight was a budget short haul flight which was excellent. About the same distance from Newcastle to Melbourne yet they provided us with a small ham roll or vegetarian wrap with a drink. The wrap was delicious. Jetstar could learn a thing or two from Air France (except for the crashing bit).

Paris–Le Bourget Airport. Once Paris's No.1

Crossing the mostly obscured Swiss Alps, and probably Austrian and Italian Alps as well, and touching down at Marco Polo was also non eventful. The banking of the plane on approach to the airport showed the surrounding fields, townships and hamlets located on the outskirts of the airport and Venice Mestre on the mainland. Quite picturesque. After landing, the arrival protocol was pretty easy. We headed through the supposed immigration, picked up our bags from the carousel and walked down the long corridor walk to the water taxi station. We showed our tickets to old mate near the desk who promptly pointed us to another and in turn our taxi driver. It was after twenty past three before we got on the boat. It was nothing flash but roomy and comfortable and in no time flat we were cruising through the timber poles that marked the channel across Laguna Veneta toward Venice.

Initially, Cecilia wanted to have the “elite” experience which included being greeted at arrivals by a chauffeur holding a sign with our names. We were then to be transported, luggage and all in a golf buggy through the airport to a jetty with a super schmick timber speedboat alongside. We would then travel “George Clooney style” through the Grand Canal as he did at his wedding. Problem was that this was worth 130 Euro each and although she insisted on paying, we took the Jo Average taxi boat for 50 Euro for all of us.

Marco Polo water taxi rank

All packed and ready to go

The channel wasn't all that wide so a follow the leader approach was required, particularly with oncoming traffic. Although boats could pass if required, it would be squeezy and care required. We firstly passed the small battery island, Isola di Tessera on our left followed by the famous glass producing Murano. Then straight across the lagoon to the northern most,and second largest of the six Venetian  sestieri, Cannaregio. Sacca Misericordia Marina was on our right and a well worn servo to our left as we entered rio di Noale on our way to the Grand Canal.

About to enter rio di Noale

Looking down Rio della Sensa

Edging our way amongst the floating barrage before us, we worked our way beneath the Rialto Bridge, were dropped off next to San Silvestro vaporetto stop, through Campo Silvestro and to our apartment. All an hour after we jumped in the taxi.

Approaching the Rialto Bridge

Congestion on the canal

After finding our building, the next challenge was to work out which door bell to ring on the panel. We worked it out and were buzzed into an impressive foyer, heading up the stairs to meet our hosts. Two youngens greeted us at the door. After a warm greeting they explained that they were brother and sister and were renting the apartment out in an attempt to keep it in their family. A common explanation that people with larger apartments in fantastic locations were telling us. Something sus, though Jo didn’t agree, seemed to be going on though as we surprised them when we knocked on the door and later found a pair of knickers that she may have left behind. It was apparently their grandmothers house but before granny some sort of commercial building in its previous life. Huge rooms and six metre high ceilings, and in a brilliant spot. One hundred metres from the Rialto and an old church, Chiesa San Silvestro, straight across from us.

Bedroom One

While we were all settling in and unpacking, the boys went to look for a shop for milk, juice and some basic supplies, and of course a supply of grog. Cecilia headed out for a walk, firstly to look through the church and secondly to find a nearby watering hole. While inside the church she paid one Euro and lit a candle in memory of her dad. The church was about to close and as Cec was saying a prayer, an old lady sweeping up and finishing off blew the candle out as she was leaving.

Cec didn't take long to look around the campo before stumbling across Vineria all'Amarone, a wine bar that were friendly and had an interesting menu. She returned for a rest before insisting that we all head along there for dinner. Seated by half past six, typical Italian tucker was the order of the day. A couple of pastas, diavola, lasagne and spaghetti al negro (in squids ink) was dished up by a very friendly and welcoming staff. One hundred and ninety one Euro later we were back at the apartment, playing Pass the Pigs and planning the next day.

Vineria all'Amarone 

Two fat ladies

We may have dodged a bullet today with the Paris protests. After we had left the city violent protests resulted in over one hundred arrests.

Tomorrow we travel to Murano for some glass and Burano for a look, and some lace if we can find some non Chinese stuff.