#in the arms or whatever qualifies as arms with a space entity

[yourbuerokrat2]

Scenario, where after TNG Picard and Q got closer to the point of Picard talking/being with Qs true form (or at least as close to his true form as it would work with Picard being a human) and even though you would not be able to get Picard to admit it even at gunpoint he does feel safe around Q. When Q in his true form hugs him (which is rather strange considering their size difference and Q not really having human arms in that form) it is the safest Picard has felt in centuries. The reassurance that while he was here nothing would happen to his ship or crew and the knowledge that right about now the only thing/person in the universe that could harm him is the very being who was holding him rather fondly bringing him a peace he had seldom known.

He is not going to give Q the satisfaction of telling him this because he also knows that Q might get rather clingy in a more physical sense if he knew. Needless to say he does not need to tell Q this because the entity, feeling quite happy with having gotten this far with Picard with the captain accepting this simple affection, is already well aware of how his human is feeling.

[kob131]

So basically we have U-Olga Marie's profile and she has some... standout traits that seperate her from the other Beasts. For one she's the only Beast that isn't Chaotic Evil, in fact she's the polar opposite: LAWFUL GOOD. There's also the fact that for whatever reason while she does have a Beast Classification she doesn't have a Nega Skill nor does she have Authority of the Beast despite even Larval beasts like Kiara and Kama having them, in fact the only Beast traits she has is that she has the Beast Attribute and Independent Manifestation. The biggest kicker though? One of her passives is DEFENDER OF HUMANITY C. Do note that the only times when a servant has had that trait was Saber Alter during Fuyuki and Chaldea themselves in certain quests.

So yeah, for some reason despite claiming to be Beast VII of the End and being identified as such she seemingly lacks many important Beast Traits AND has at least one skill centered around protecting humanity. Do note that the last time we saw Defender of Humanity as a passive skill was during two memorial quests: one that's a reenactment of the final battle against Solomon and one where you fight Saber Alter back in the original Fuyuki Singularity.

Okay, let's break this down for simplicity's sake.

"She's Lawful Good, not Chaotic Evil"

For everyone who doesn't know- 'Chaotic Evil' is the alignment of every Beast whose alignment we officially know of. Even the likes of Tiamat, who was acting out of misguided parental love, was still classified as 'Chaotic Evil'.

'Chaotic Evil' basically means that they are acting as an independent entity with evil intent, unlike say Space Ishtar who acted as the leader of a (supposedly) evil orgnazation with set rules. This fits with most of the Beasts as they don't act as parts of an organization but rather as independent entities, with the 'evil' part coming from them seeking the destruction of humanity. As for what 'Lawful Good' is- Well, most of the Camelot Knights have this alignment (obviously excluding Mordred) so we can see that the alignement is about achieving positive results through organized action so this implies that the Foreign God acts in accordance to some kind of rule for the good of man.

Well, to be fair- alignments aren't always solid evidence. Gilgamesh's alignment has been consistently Chaotic Good but he's acted in evil, neutral and good ways before.

"She lacks a Nega Skill as well as an Authority of a Beast"

Again, to clarify-

The 'Nega' skills are the representations of what the Beasts embody and counter. For example, as the original mother, Tiamat basically rejects all of human history and by extension any attacks originating from human history through Nega-Genesis. Or Kiara/Whore of Babalyon, as the embodiments of carnal desires, reject holiness and sacredness and thus counter beings like Rulers and Saviors through Nega-Messiah/Nega-Savior.

Authorities are similar in that they grant the Beast a conceptual advantage over humans due to some universial aspect of them. For Tiamat, it was her role as the mother and thus the right to kill her 'children'. To Kiara, it was her nature as a sexual being allowing her to seduce and destroy humans. To Mara, it was her nature as a bringer of desire allowing her to effectly coddle humanity to death.

Lacking both of these is something VERY serious in this discussion, because it mean the Foreign God lacks any kind of conceptual advantage against humanity and its defenders. Meaning she logically couldn't fulfill her purpose as an Evil of Humanity. Even having Independent Manifestation isn't a guarantee since it seems any non-human could have it (see: Merlin). So...what qualifies her to be of the Beast Class?

"She has the Defender of Humanity skill"

I actually don't know what to make of this. We have no knowledge of what this skill actually entails for its holder. For example, Someone who has Eternal Arms Mastery means they are able to retain their fighting skill even in cases of madness. Or Eye of The Mind meaning the holder can analyze the conditions of their fight to find the best way to win. With this skill- What does that mean?

I can understand Saber Alter having this skill- Back in Fuyuki, she was intentionally holding back the completion of the Singularity when no one was acting against them so in that sense, she was defending humanity. But 'Solomon' (AKA Goetia) having this skill muddies things a bit because while he did rationalize his actions as saving mankind from the Foreign God, his nature as a Beast meant he was still trying to destroy humanity.

Maybe it has to do with the holder's mindset- As long as they truly believe they are defending humanity, they gain this skill.

All in all, I have three theories.

A. The bleaching of the Earth wasn't the Foreign God's doing but rather something else from the God's homeworld reacting to Subject E's distress call and the Trees of Emptiness is the Foreign God's way of trying to restore humanity in some capacity. The Beast class designation was just a means of getting a hold of Independent Manifestation so it could fulfill it's plans.

B. Whatever Beast VII/The Foreign God was before isn't what it is now. Someone floated the idea that Olga may have actually changed things somehow and became a sort of Foreigner-like Servant, turning Beast VII/The Foreign God from an enemy of mankind to a protector. The Beast class designation might be similar to what happened with BB in Hawaii- The Beast class is overwriting what her proper class should be.

Or C. The Foreign God is using the Beast VII vessel as a means of manifesting but there are incompatibilities with the vessel- Maybe the Foreign God didn't want to kill mankind but was influenced by the Beast class, thus it lacks the conceptual advantages that a true Beast would have.

All in all- this is such strange information to unearth. It's really hard to say what is going on.

P.S. Still holding on hope that one of the Saber Arthurs is the Grand Saber and not Arturia Avalon.

[mordigen]

Unpopular opinion: Christians are not witches

I said it. Fight me.

There has been a trend that has been growing ever more problematic recently: overbearing, hyper-zealous, hyper-vigilant "acceptance" This means the pagan community is an absolute free-for all, and you are not allowed to so much as even feign the possibility that you do not agree with absolutely 100% of everything, lest you be named a gatekeeping, ignorant bigot.

Whether you like it or not - there ARE paths out there that have specific rules...regulations...stipulations...tenets - whatever the hell you want to call or classify them. End. Period. There's no other colour that comes in - that's it. Sorry for you, but they DO exist. In fact, there are many of them.

If you do not follow those rules, tenets, etc..., then you are not of that path. Point. Blank. And there is nothing wrong with that - it simply means that you are of some other path. That's it! That's all that means! It may be *nearly* identical to the path in question - but it is not, hence the 'nearly'.

If you happen to be a part of one of these paths, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying so. If someone claims to be a part of one of these paths, but are absolutely, blatantly not - there is nothing wrong with saying that, and explaining why that is. Some people just honestly don't know there is a difference, or that these certain prerequisites are indeed a definitive factor - so they learn something, they broaden their horizons. Everyone seems to be all about educating themselves about being sensitive to other cultures and customs - except the pagan community, apparently, because this mentality does not translate across that pagan/witch line. Instead of taking it as a learning experience, you are immediately pounced on with notions of 'there are no rules!' 'you can't tell someone what to do on their own path!' Or, simply, the name calling. Well yes, while all of that is true - it still remains that how ever you want to practice or whatever you personally decide to do, may just simply not be what you are claiming, or calling it. It may just be semantics - but semantics matter when dealing with nuance. And paganism is extremely nuanced.

You can call a tomato an orange all you want to - but that thing will never be an orange, no matter how much you believe in it. And people are not wrong for informing you that you may have the wrong name, that is in fact, a tomato. If you go on deciding to call it an orange, you can do that - but that is willful ignorance. So, in your fight to be unapologetically accepting of every ridiculous notion, you are perpetuating willful ignorance - whilst being directly in opposition of your goal and being, *GASP*, unaccepting to those who follow a path where distinction and definition matters. You are completely invalidating those people's paths and beliefs while trying to defend another's (another who may, in fact, actually be wrong) and actively using their path & beliefs as the very reason to berate and ostracize them. Pretty fantastically hypocritical of you. Now...on to the second problem. I do not, at all, in any form, believe in "ritual magick" - as perpetuated by Aleister Crowley hardons. And no, that is not a knock on Crowley, just the idiot followers that don't understand half of what he taught and latch onto the superficial.

When you look at the origins and make up of magical beliefs, and magic itself as a separate entity - no matter which particular branch - they were all created by religion. They all have roots in highly spiritual cultures and customs. So, I absolutely do not believe for one second that you can believe in magic without SOME form of religion - whatever one you adhere to is your choice, but you cannot have the first without the latter. You cannot. Even if you claim that you have no religion, or spiritual faith, your practices absolutely do. You are calling on elements and agencies that absolutely have divine ties and connections one way or another. Oh, how many atheists I see calling on the seals of Arch Angels.... are you fucking shittin me? Really?? So let's bring it all together now - with the fact that many faiths DO have prerequisites, AND the fact that magic is religious/spiritual -- Christians are not, and cannot be witches or pagans. They are mutually exclusive. Not only because so many various paths have such prerequisites, and very define religious/spiritual beliefs that are contradictory to others - but simply because Christianity DOES, very much, have very clear and stringently defined Do's & Don'ts, and obviously the religious aspect itself clashes with the religious beliefs of others. Their religious beliefs clash with people who believe in their same god - so how could they not with those who believe in other gods?? Considering this, no other path would even need such stipulations themselves for them to be mutually exclusive, as Christianity already covers that issue so completely, but the fact that so many pagan paths do only exacerbates an already existing problem. That being said - that does not mean you cannot believe in the Christian 'god', by whatever name you know him by - or that you cannot believe in Jesus, and also be a witch or pagan. In fact the latter has an even bigger argument for believing in both, as paganism, generically, in itself is polytheistic, so it is very fitting to simply have the Christian god and Jesus amongst the many deities being worshipped. But those two things alone is not what makes Christianity. A good start, yes, but that is not all it takes - in fact, there are many that are shunned, excommunicated, banned, condemned and moreso whilst having those very two qualifying factors. You can find this in *every single* sect of Christianity, so...the proof is in the pudding, as they say, that it is much more than simply believing in 'God' and Jesus that makes a 'Christian'. And if you take that to heart and follow all those rules - you cannot be a witch or pagan, many times over, as you would be in direct opposition, or violation, of a number of their teachings - both on the aspect of simple 'rules', but also on a much deeper spiritual level of the entire foundation of their faith. Cannot serve two masters, and all that... If you do not follow those rules, then sure, you could be a witch or a pagan - but then you cannot be a Christian. That is just the facts.

Many people like to argue the use of magic and mysticism in the bible - but the issue is what parts of the bible they are found, and all the amendments of the further books. Again, what really carves out being a Christian vs. any of the other sects of Abrahamic beliefs. As, news flash - there is far more than just Christianity. And some of them, do, in fact, do hand in hand with magic. The Kabbalah is an astounding example of that - and, in fact, where a lot of the so called *ahem* 'non'-religious 'ritual magick' comes from. In this same vein, I would like to note that I have never had any issue or seen conflict with the Hebrew or Jewish take on shamans, mystics and witches, as they really do go hand in hand - They have their own very in depth, detailed, spiritual and sentimental form of mysticism that was a natural progression from pre-Abrahamic religions and culture, and grew into their teachings and belief system, so it does not go against their core beliefs the same way it very stringently does in Christian theology. Considering their ethnical histories and cultural heritage - this is a brilliant example of the natural evolution and progression of faiths - not simply ripped from the hands of the brutally oppressed and rewritten as a mockery to wipe out the preexisting notion of faiths -- as the Church has a history of doing. The Book of Enoch is another shining example of Biblical magic, or Angelic magic. But, this also also turns my point into a self fulfilling prophecy, as in the fact that it is accepted amongst all denominations as heresy, and it is taught that these magics - though they do, in fact, exist, were for the angels and completely forbidden from mankind. So, thusly, if you are a follower of Enoch, you are not a 'Christian', by name and membership, as you are outright going against it's teachings. You are a heretic, a blasphemer. Perhaps you may be one of the many other forms of the Christian god's followers - but not a Christian, as being Christian denotes a very specific set of beliefs and tenets - end of story. Magic, and paganism, is in direct conflict with those teachings, and therefore, cannot coexist.

On top of the logic - there is also the emotional issue. Christianity has a long history of abuse towards various pagan, tribal and indigenous faiths, while stealing our beliefs as their own, and demonizing those they couldn't successfully acclimate into theirs. To now be expected to be OK with this faith, yet again, latching on to *our* sacred rites and practices as being a part of their own is a hard pill to swallow at best, a slap in the face to most, and flat out perpetuating trauma at worst. Once upon a time, people sought out these very same communities and groups within their pagan circles as an escape, a safe space, and a shield and guardian against the Christian onslaught, torment, oppression, or just exhaustion - and now, we must not only tolerate them invading our private spaces, but must now welcome them with open arms and expected to be happy about it? Forgive me if I don't sympathize....

If we are going to now be forced into being shoulder to shoulder with them, the very least you can offer us is neutrality. You can be accepting of all and still be neutral grounds - not taking any one side anywhere, all you have to do is be respectful to each other. Disagreement is not disrespectful. Could someone who disagrees with a certain viewpoint *become* disrespectful? Sure, of course they could. But simply the act of disagreement is nothing hateful or hurtful in any way shape or form - in fact, good discourse is how progress is made. So we need to remain neutral grounds and normalize the acceptance of different viewpoints - we need to recognize and accept that, yes, there are paths out there that do have specific requirements, expectations and limits - there are paths that are going to disagree, or just flat out not believe in something. Instead of name calling, when someone of those paths decides to speak up and enlighten and elaborate on information that may be inaccurately described or depicted, you need to LISTEN and learn, and not just bludgeon them with presumptive judgement. You also need to accept that there are many, various different closed practices out there - beyond Native American & Voodoo practices (as those seem to be the only ones the pagan community recognizes) and if someone of those closed faiths tell you - no, you are not xy or z, that is also not being judgmental or hateful or hurtful - that simply is. ....a very important side note here is that acknowledging closed practices is also not a carte blanche for screaming about cultural appropriation. Please shut the fuck up about cultural appropriation. Not being of a specific faith is not equivalent to cultural appropriation - Telling someone "no, you're not xyz" is very different from telling someone "no, you can't practice xyz" (looking at you smudge-Nazis) You can enjoy, practice, learn or celebrate anything you want of any faith you want while not actually being apart of it - that's the beauty of sharing and learning. And I think that is where all the trouble boils down from:

Yes, you can do whatever you want and can create whatever path you want for yourself...just don't misrepresent it, don't call it something it is not, and don't deny those who are more educated & experienced in that particular department. We get enough of that from outsiders to start doing it to each other.

[collecting-stories]

Babe  - John B Routledge

Request: Hi, welcome back and I hope everything is going okay with you. I absolutely love all of your stuff and was wondering if you could something with John B and the reader are together and maybe she's having a baby or something and he's protective of her if you're okay with that. If not it's cool and anything fluffy with him is okay. thank you

A/N: Just like fluff...

Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

John B had inherited a lot of things from Big John when he died. Some were objects; the house, the twinkie, the furniture, and some weren’t things you could hold in your hand; the way he ran his tongue over his molars when he was thinking, how he always pulled the toast out of the toaster too soon, the color of his eyes.  

Something he had most certainly not inherited from his father was the flood of anxiety that settled in his stomach when you found out you were pregnant. Just twenty, the two of you were not the kind of couple that imagined weddings and joint checking accounts and babies. You talked about traveling and the possibility of leaving all the inherited messes of your parents behind. But then you got pregnant and after a million conversations at every conceivable hour you both decided that keeping the baby was something you wanted to do. You had one more year of college and the baby would be born in the summer, allotting you a coincidentally perfect timeline. John B had a good job. The Chateau was paid for and all the things inside were yours now.  

All the things outside too, including the chickens.

“I wanted a cat, you know...maybe a dog. Something furry and cute, that I could pet.” You muttered, soaked through your shorts and top, carrying a chicken beneath your arm. Learning how to wrangle a loose chicken had not been something you ever dreamed of doing in your life and having to use that knowledge when you were six months pregnant was far from a dream come true.  

You opened the coop, pushing the chicken back in and mentally adding the little building to your list of things that needed to be repaired on the property. The sound of the twinkie pulling in caught your attention as you stood up, turning to see John B already with a frown as he parked and got out of the car.

“You’re supposed to be in bed!” He called, door slamming after him as a punctuation of sorts.

“I was...but your dad’s chickens decided to orchestrate a prison break.” You replied. Big John had become the third member of the household somewhere along the line, an invisible entity that you and John B could blame everything on. If the water heater broke than Big John must not’ve installed it right. If the eletric went out than Big John had wired the house wrong. The chickens escaped and it was Big John who had built a faulty coop.  

“I would’ve gotten them,” John B insisted, “you’re soaking wet. You’re going to get a cold.”

“It’s like a million degrees outside Bird, I’m not getting a cold.” You laughed.  

“Well what if it was colder out?”

“What if a tornado swept through and I got sucked into it?”  

“I’m not joking,” John B said, all the sternness of his dad apparently just waiting to find purpose in him.  

The protectiveness was not his father’s though. That was all John B. You had known the Routledge family so long that your mom remembered John B’s. And she had sworn, the first time she watched her future son-in-law, whenever you decided to stop ‘living in sin’, that Big John couldn’t have been bothered if a house fell on his pregnant wife. John B wasn’t like that at all. Attentive, always concerned, the math skills that he had pushed aside to focus on work after his dad died came in handy as he calculated every moment of every year that you would be raising a kid. Knowing that, and because you just couldn’t help yourself, sometimes you teased him.  

“What if we have a second kid? We could have them close together.”

“Absolutely not. This place barely qualifies as a two bedroom as it is.” He’d argue, sitting on the kitchen counter eating cereal in the morning while he window shopped for baby furniture on his phone. You’d never seen someone navigate and barter on Facebook better than he did.

“As long as they can fit through the window it qualifies.” You replied.  

“No.”

“You’re no fun.”

“I’m trying to bid on this crib...I need complete concentration.” John B replied.  

A lot of people who knew the two of you were quick to tell you that you were throwing away your futures. You would never tell any of them but it was something that you and John B had discussed regularly for the first few weeks. Now though, when people saw your young age and your very pregnant state, they felt obligated to weigh in on your life decision as if they were a part of the small family that you and John B were creating together.  

“Don’t you think you should have waited?” It seemed the echoed question on everyone’s lips. Shouldn’t you have waited, until you had a better house, more money, were finished college, had a stable job. Maybe, you wanted to answer, probably. But you always just shrugged. It was what it was at think point.  

Kiara’s dad was not the first to ask you a resoundingly simple “why John B?”.  

“Don’t you want someone responsible?” Was his follow up.  

You weren’t sure if it was just ill-worded or if everyone in the Outer Banks had some pre-conceived idea about John B’s ability to be both a parent and an adult but you knew something none of them did.

“I swear to god if you don’t get inside I will carry you,” John B called, standing in the doorway of the Chateau, looking completely exasperated.  

“Good luck,” you laughed, standing in the spray of the sprinkler in a bathing suit that made you thankful you didn’t have neighbors too close. It was boiling inside the house and the measly fan that John B had produced while he tried to put the air conditioners in was doing a terrible job of cooling you and your eight month pregnant stomach off.  

“I’m not joking,” he came down the stairs two at a time, walking across the lawn to you.  

“No!” You laughed, trying to get away from him but failing miserably as he grabbed your arms. “John B! It’s too hot inside!”

“You’re not supposed to be on your feet, at least lay in the hammock.” He rolled his eyes at you, annoyed as ever as he got hit with water from the sprinkler.

“The sprinkler doesn’t reach the hammock.” You pointed out, walking toward the trees as he pushed you along.

“I’ll buy you a pool to sit in.” He promised.  

John B was slowly but surely fixing up the entire house, transforming the once crumbling Chateau into something that felt much more like home than it ever had before. Old furniture was being replaced with new, his dad’s office had been cleaned out and the walls had been painted for a nursery. It was only a matter of time before the house that John B had inherited from his father became the place he would raise his own kid. There was no denying that John B had inherited a lot from his father, some good, most bad, but the part of him that checked every door and window before he went to bed, that paid every bill on time and scrounged to save whatever extra he could, the part that had been waiting in anticipation for a baby was not inherited from anyone. That part was all John B.  

-

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[belladxne]

i will see you where the shadow ends | chapter 3

[see notes for ao3 and ff links]

part of the put your faith in the light that you cannot see series AU: Breath of the Wild pairing: KiriBaku word count: 4,454

chapter 3: who do you follow when there’s no one else around you? (tell me where i need to go)

Eijiro’s quiet while they prepare lunch, but Inko doesn’t press him. She seems content to wait for him to express what’s bothering him, while they both go about their parts. She keeps up a constant commentary, explaining the steps to everything she does to prepare and cook the food, and all the seasonings she uses, even though Eijiro hasn’t asked.

She’s either determined to teach him to cook, or just to keep him distracted from the thoughts weighing in his head, but either one is appreciated. At one point, he struggles to keep his hair out of his face as he cuts up the pork he’d hunted down earlier for their meal, and she jumps up from her seat with more agility than he’d expect from someone her age, proclaiming that she has just the thing.

She rummages for only a few moments in a pot at the other end of her small, one-room home, before coming back to him with a few short lengths of string and handkerchiefs.

“Here, sweetie,” she says, as she folds one of the handkerchiefs a few times until it’s a thin strip, and then helps him secure it around his hair as a headband. “You can keep these. They’ll come in handy with that hair of yours.”

She’s maybe the absolute kindest person in all of Hyrule, and Eijiro’s so glad she was here when he awoke. One hundred years—in which he’d been… been resurrected, apparently. And in which the kingdom had fallen apart around him. He could have woken up alone up here, with no help, but instead he has Inko, and he’s so grateful.

He must have been silent too long, though, because eventually as she’s just finishing up the cooking, she sighs gently and asks, “Eijiro, dear, what’s on your mind?”

“Oh.” He echoes her sigh, though his is a lot heavier, and looks down at his hands. He’s been thinking about it, too much, on and off ever since he saw the words on the map. “Well, it’s… I found out the name of the place I came from, the one I was asking about. It’s, um, it’s the Shrine of Resurrection.”

He knows what that word means, okay, he knows—and—and why else would he need to sleep for so many years? And how else could he sleep for so long and come out of it so young? He looks up at Inko, chewing nervously at his lip.

“Inko, do you think I’m dead?” he asks, somewhat pitifully.

She stares at him for a couple of moments, before “Oh, honey,” escapes her abruptly in what sounds like a laugh, though it’s not unkind. She just sounds sympathetic, if a little amused. “No, no, sweetheart. Of course you’re not.”

“But… I mean, what if...”

How could they know, really? He can feel himself pouting again as he looks at her with big, worried eyes, but she tilts her head at him with a fond, if concerned expression. “Eijiro, trust me. I’ve been in this world a very long time. I’m probably one of the most qualified people around to tell you you’re not dead. By the time you get to be my age, you’ve learned a thing or two; I promise I could tell if you were.”

Eijiro nods, but he continues to gnaw at his lower lip in thought. A slightly amused huff escapes Inko, and she stands, wiping her hands clean on a rag she’s had set aside, before she marches around the table to pinch at his cheek teasingly.

“Ow, ow!” he whines, wiping at the spot she’d pinched even though it hadn’t hurt that bad. She chuckles, moving back around the table to move their lunch—sautéed mushrooms and herbs, with seared pork—onto plates for both of them.

“See?” she asks, the laughter lines around her eyes deepening once more. “Couldn’t feel that if you were dead. You’re flesh and blood and very alive, dear, I promise.”

He sighs again, but he does feel better, and he manages a small smile that he’s surprised to realize is genuine.

Gods, Eijiro loves meat.

Inko was right, and he’s glad he waited to eat before tackling the shrine. There’s a monster camp just outside of it, and he’s downright gleeful about getting to have that fight on a full stomach—and he can’t imagine how much worse it’d have felt, to have to fight past them with arms still shaky and achy from the climb down the Great Plateau Tower.

When he finally steps up onto the level surface before the shrine, admittedly, his shoulders and muscles all feel sore and protest at most movements, but they’re still steadier than they might have been. There’s a pedestal, just to the side of the gate into the shrine. The gate looks similar to the doors that had kept him sealed into the Shrine of Resurrection, with interlocking panels pressed together—but these ones lie horizontal, instead of vertical.

He hears a tune sound from the Sheikah Slate, and as he pulls it from his hip to approach the pedestal, he sees that the map now displays two new emblems—another bright blue one, where the tower is, and an orange one here, at the shrine. It also displays a name over this shrine—Oman Au Shrine.

It’s a little less straightforward than ‘Shrine of Resurrection’, but it doesn’t really matter, he guesses.

He looks down at the pedestal, and the incredibly helpful advice of, ‘this isn’t complicated,’ flashes through his mind, making him chuckle as he moves to press the Sheikah Slate to this pedestal, the same as he did to get out of the Shrine of Resurrection. This time his slate has to confirm instead of authenticate, whatever either of those things even mean, and then the voice delivers another new phrase.

“Travel gate registered to map.”

He wonders what travel gate means, turning to look behind him curiously as the large circular emblem in the platform behind him lights up blue, again with that strange blue energy clouding off of it for a moment. And then, after a chime of “Access granted,” the door just past the pedestal begins to open—this time the panels swiveling in, instead of sliding past each other.

It’s… just a hollow little nook? He expected maybe a stairway or passageway leading down, but it’s empty in there, but for another slightly smaller circular emblem on the floor inside. It’s patterned differently, but it’s also lit up. Cautiously, Eijiro goes to stand on it—gods, he hopes this structure isn’t about to shoot up into the sky, too.

Instead, the circular marking on the floor shifts, and smoothly—and gently, thank the Goddesses—it begins to sink down. Eijiro watches, wide-eyed as this apparent platform just—floats? Seemingly suspended by nothing, as it slowly lowers him through a dark tunnel, lower and lower into the ground. He can’t quite see yet where the platform is taking him, so he cranes his head instead to watch the sliver of sunlight up above slowly shrink with distance.

When he finally emerges from the bottom of the chute he’s been descending down, and the shrine opens up around him, it’s—

Oman Au Shrine is otherworldly. It’s hard to believe that the rest of the world even can exist, somewhere far above this.

It’s not dark and claustrophobic like the Shrine of Resurrection was, and there isn’t a thick layer of dust choking the air or the same atmosphere of abandonment, despite what Inko had said about no one being able to enter. There’s an unnaturally bright, blue-ish light that beams down from the entirety of the ceiling. Unlike the Shrine of Resurrection, this space is—it’s huge, much more open, and instead of the curved walls of the Shrine of Resurrection sealing him in, nearly everything here is angular, compiled of rectangles or squares.

Something… something about the structure reminds him of a child’s construction out of blocks—like not all of the shapes fit together quite how they’re supposed to, bits of black and tan stone jutting out just a little farther here and there. It adds all the more to the unreal feeling of this place.

An altogether new feeling hits him as soon as he steps down from the platform—unlike with the voice that calls to him from the castle, which he almost hears, though the sound is more in his mind than in his ears, now a sensation of words washes over him, but it’s not at all like hearing them. It’s barely even like feeling them. It’s like the words are just… appearing in his mind.

To you who sets foot in this shrine… I am Oman Au. In the name of the god Bakusatsuo, I offer this trial.

There’s a sensation just ghosting at the edges of his mind with the words, something that feels ancient, but… not malicious, at least? It’s deeply unfamiliar and unsettling, and he knows he’s never experienced anything like it in his life, but he gets the sense that whatever entity or force just—spoke?—to him, it’s very, very old.

Off to his left is another pedestal with a black, somewhat-pointed stone suspended above it, just like at the tower, so Eijiro gets to work.

This time, when the glowing fluid drips onto his Sheikah Slate, it’s not a map that appears on the screen. It says it’s a... rune? He doesn’t know exactly what that means in this context, but he does know that Sheikah use runes in their magic—is that what this is? Is this gonna let his slate do magic? Let him do magic? Oh, he so wants to do magic.

Eijiro can fucking do magic.

He’s never felt this cool in his life, slinging giant chunks of metal around like they’re weightless, through the power of whatever odd tether forms out of the slate when he activates the rune. After he’s worn out the fun of marveling in his new unchecked power—(okay, it’s a little checked; he can lift anything made of metal, but he can only move it so fast and only up to a certain distance, and he can’t even lift metal objects that he’s standing on, which is lame)—he finally moves on to the trial that’s apparently set before him.

It feels like less of a trial and more of a hands-on lesson to get him used to the rune. There’s more than a few opportunities for him to get creative about moving obstacles, finding things that are out of his reach or not immediately visible without use of the rune, and stacking or arranging things to get around to places he otherwise couldn’t reach.

He quickly feels like a pro at toppling walls of obstacles, making metal bridges, and climbing metal boxes. It gets almost boring fast, and the only things that throw him off, and that he could have done without, are the automatons sprung on him about halfway through, when he still has the slate out and isn’t suddenly ready for combat.

By the time he’s using the rune to heave open the hulking metal gates at the end of his trial, wincing from the results of that battle—the machines had shot lasers at him, lasers! And though he’d hardened in time, his skin still stings, feeling burnt and raw where the beams had hit—he feels like he’s been here ages. The slate says it’s been more like only an hour and a half, but he’s still way too ready to be done already.

Past the gates is an odd, elevated—platform? Or altar, or something like that. Eijiro freezes in his spot when he lays eyes on the spectacle before him. There’s two tiny sets of stairs, only six shallow steps to each, leading up to the odd platform, which is encased on all sides by some glowing blue screen or window. But it’s what’s inside that transparent blue wall that gives him pause, because—

Because that’s definitely a dead guy. Oh, gods, that’s so a dead guy, sitting there.

Eijiro only continues forward very begrudgingly, closing in to notice that this freaky, shriveled and mummified form with long white hair is in some sort of meditative pose, with his hands shaped together to form a triangle. He’s also pretty distinctively wearing clothes that remind Eijiro of traditional Sheikah garb, a hat slung over his back that’s of obvious Sheikah make, and, oh, Eijiro shouldn’t neglect to note the shadow people’s symbol painted blatantly on this man’s forehead. He’s also shirtless, which Eijiro can respect.

Reluctantly, he climbs the steps, coming to a stop at the small, railed-in landing at the top of the second set. Oh, he’s way too close to this dead guy for his liking. Is there something he’s supposed to do here…?

There are a few seconds spent shuffling awkwardly in place, hoping for something to happen as he alternates between looking at the mummy and the Sheikah eye that hovers between them on the glowing window, before Eijiro finally sighs. He’s gonna regret this, but fuck it. He clearly is supposed to do something, so he—with every instinct in his body screaming at him not to—reaches up to touch the Sheikah symbol on the partition in front of him.

The whole thing shatters, and he jumps.

Again, he gets that suggestion of words, not heard or felt but still somehow there, and he knows without a doubt that their origin is this dead Sheikah before him. They’re a little stronger now that he’s closer to the source, but still a foreign and indistinct feeling.

You have proven to possess the resolve of a true hero. I am Oman Au, the creator of this trial. I am a humble monk, blessed with the sight of the god Bakusatsuo and dedicated to helping those who seek to defeat All For One. With your arrival, my duty is now fulfilled. In the name of the god Bakusatsuo, allow me to bestow this gift upon you. Please accept the strength of my spirit.

Eijiro blinks, brow furrowing as he wonders what that means—but then he sees what it means, as suddenly, a compact, hazy cloud of purple—he doesn’t even know, energy?—seeps out of the monk’s chest, and—and begins to drift towards him.

A little alarmed, Eijiro staggers half a step back in a probably less-than-manly move, eyes flicking between the monk and the approaching haze—but before he can make the decision to bolt, unsure what the hell that substance is exactly, it touches his chest and begins to absorb into him. He yelps, one hand reaching up to clutch over his heart like he can somehow pull the essence back out of himself, the other clinging at the railing like a lifeline so he doesn’t tumble down the stairs in his attempt to reel away.

He feels… he doesn’t know, something blanket and course through him, the feeling deeply unsettling and he wants to ask this guy to take it back.

May Bakusatsuo smile upon you.

As Eijiro watches, the monk before him starts to—to disintegrate, freaking him right the hell out as the mummified Sheikah dissolves into greenish particles that float away upwards. His eyes feel like they’re about to bug out of his head and he’s half a second from hyperventilating as he stares, mouth agape.

Oh, gods. Oh, gods, did he just get possessed? He doesn’t want to be possessed! He does not want some weird ancient monk to pilot him around! Not cool! It’s not cool!

He needs to sit and have a moment before he can make his way back to the platform out of the shrine.

Inko is waiting for him when he does get out of the shrine. He steps out into the sunlight, still unsettled but comforted by normal fresh air and surroundings again, and she steps up onto the surface at the entrance of the shrine, meeting him.

“How did it go, sweetie?” She looks him over, eyes crinkling warmly in the way he’s used to. “You have a different sense about you. You look a little heartier.”

This is the last thing Eijiro wants to hear right now, and he looks at her in alarm. “I seem different? What do you mean? Different how? Do I still seem like me?” Oh, he’s so possessed. He’s so possessed by a weird old dead monk man. This is the worst.

Taken aback, Inko blinks owlishly at him. Concern coloring her expression, she steps closer with furrowed brows. “What do you mean? Of course you do.”

“But are you sure?” he asks, a little desperate.

“Yes! Eijiro, sweetheart, what happened in there to have you in this state?”

The story comes pouring out of him all in one breath, voice only getting more hysterical as he goes. “I don’t know, I—I went in there and there was a trial? Sort of? It wasn’t really hard at all it was just kind of teaching me how to use a new thing on my Sheikah Slate and there were machines that attacked me and then there was this weird old dead guy at the end of it and he said he’d give me ‘the strength of his spirit’ and then this weird purple stuff came into me and now I think I’m possessed!”

Inko stares. Eijiro stares back, probably a little wild-eyed and frightened. Not for the first time today, Inko’s eyebrows lift high on her face, and then she shakes her head as she reaches out to place a hand on his arm. “Eijiro, honey, don’t you think you’d notice something different about yourself if you were possessed?”

“Maybe?” He’s so desperately hoping she’s right, but he’s just a little freaked out right now. “Just—I don’t know, what if, like, my own thoughts are different so I’m not even thinking like me and that’s why I don’t notice?”

“I think if you were possessed by something that made you think differently, you wouldn’t be worried about being possessed at all,” she reasons, firm in her stance. After a beat, she tilts her head and asks, “Are you always this paranoid about silly things?”

“No!” He can’t help but be defensive. “I mean. I don’t think so?” Given a moment to process the whole conversation, he finds himself a little embarrassed, dropping his face into his hands with a groan. “I’m sorry, I’ve had a really weird day, Inko.”

She chuckles sympathetically, patting his arm comfortingly. He doesn’t want to come out from behind his hands, but he appreciates the gesture nonetheless. “How about we get to thinking about your next step, hm? What happened while you were in there? Did your voice speak to you again?”

Eijiro doesn’t even want to get into the happy little jump his heart performs when she refers to the voice he’s heard so much as his, so instead he focuses on taking a deep breath and removing his fingers from his face. He shakes his head, trying not to be disappointed.

“No, I haven’t heard from him again.” He’d really been hoping that using Sheikah technology was the key to prompting him to speak but… apparently not. “Um… okay, so. I got down into the shrine, and this, um, really old Sheikah monk, who was like, shriveled up and mummified? He said it was a trial. And when I finished the trial, he said...”

Eijiro’s brow furrows as he tries to remember, exactly. He’d gotten pretty distracted and weirded out, afterwards, so the words hadn’t exactly had time to stick.

“He said… that I have the resolve of a true hero? And some stuff about Bakusatsuo, and that he was supposed to help anyone who wants to fight All for One.” Thinking back on it, Eijiro definitely starts to feel a little silly, now. Obviously, the monk wouldn't possess him if he wanted to help him. “And then he said he was giving me a gift, and he, like—disintegrated, after sending some weird purple… stuff into me, I don’t know, that’s when I got weirded out.”

Inko hums thoughtfully, considering. Just when she’s opening her mouth to respond, Eijiro spots an old, battered metal crate nearby and remembers.

“Oh!” He’s already whipping the slate out in his excitement, activating the magnesis rune. “And I can do this now!”

He uses the slate to grab the box, lifting it into the air—Inko lets out a quiet cry of, “Goodness!”—and moving it away from them, before dropping it with a heavy thud and beaming at her.

“That looks awfully handy,” she admits with an indulgent smile. “Just be careful with it. So, if that shrine gave you an ability like that, and was placed there to help you fight All for One, it stands to reason that the others will probably help you, too? There are a few more shrines even here, on the Great Plateau. Maybe you could go to them, while we figure out how to get you down?”

Moving to clip the slate back to his belt, Eijiro’s eyebrows raise. “There are? Where?”

Admittedly, he’s not exactly eager to have more of that weird purple… mist, or whatever, thrown at him, but this magnesis thing is cool. If the other shrines have other runes for him… maybe one of them could be something that grants him the ability to get down from the plateau. So, even if the thought of dealing with that again makes him a little uneasy, he knows he has to man up. He’s not going to save anyone if he’s too scared to even face dead guys trying to help him.

“You could probably see them all from the top of that tower you raised,” Inko suggests helpfully. “Your Sheikah Slate should also have a scope feature that will let you mark the shrines on your map from far away.”

“Really?” He hasn’t even found that feature. It’s not his most pressing issue though, because he finds himself looking dubiously at the tower in the near distance, ahead of them. He sighs. “Man, I’m not looking forward to climbing all the way up there. Down was hard enough.”

Inko chuckles agreeably, clearly understanding of his plight. “Your slate has something for that, too. To help you travel places faster.”

“You mean the map?” he asks, brow furrowing. He guesses that would make sense; having a map that moves with you and shows you exactly where you’re facing in relation to your destination probably speeds things up a lot more than using a regular map and constantly having to orient yourself.

“Oh, you know about the fast travel on the map already?” Inko asks, sounding pleasantly surprised, and Eijiro blinks. The shrine had said something about a fast travel gate, right?

“Um… no?” he answers honestly. “Wait, how do you know all this about my slate? I thought you said you didn’t know a lot about Sheikah stuff?”

An amused huff escaping her, Inko gives him a chiding look. “Sheikah Slates were around one hundred years ago, young man. I may not know much about Sheikah buildings or how they all work, but your slate is another matter entirely. I’ve heard quite a bit about what they’re supposed to be able to do. Now, pull out your map.”

“Oh.” He does as she says, but as he’s bringing up the map he can’t help but furrow his brow as he realizes her wording. She made it sound like she was around one hundred years ago. But she still doesn’t look old enough for that—unless she was, like, a baby, and aged really well, and even then, a baby couldn’t work a Sheikah Slate. Probably.

“All right,” she begins, moving beside him to peer at the map with him. He notes with some interest that the emblem for the shrine where they stand is no longer orange on the map, but blue like the other emblems. “So if you tap on the tower on the map, it should let you move there quickly.”

He does as she directs, watching as a message appears on the screen, bearing two words, each separated and outlined: ‘Travel’ and ‘Cancel’. “Like this?” he asks, finger already moving unthinkingly to tap the word travel.

Before Inko can answer, Eijiro is ripped violently out of his body.

Describing the sensation of fast travel would probably be impossible. One moment, Eijiro is normal, and the next—it’s like he’s blacked out, except not at all because he can still think and panic, but he can’t feel his body, like at all. Can’t keep track of any part of himself. He feels so disjointed, unable to gain any sense of equilibrium or awareness of his surroundings or the orientation of his own limbs, and the whole while he feels like he’s hurtling through the air at horrifying speeds.

And none of that comes close to describing the discordant sensation of all of his senses reassembling themselves all out of order, as he’s placed on the circular symbol on the top of Great Plateau Tower—placed gently, but that’s too little too late.

The instant his feet hit the surface, Eijiro topples over, and it’s all he can do to scramble to the edge of the tower before he’s emptying what’s left of his lunch over the side. Oh, gods. That was the most jarring experience of his life. That was so bad. What the fuck.

Pressing his forehead to the tan stone that ridges the edge of the tower, Eijiro groans, wind whipping his hair all around his face.

“I’m never doing that again,” he swears under his breath to himself, voice thick and arms wrapped around his stomach. He fucking means it, too. That was godsdamned awful.

It takes more time than he’d like to admit to compose himself after that, but once he’s finally pulled himself to his feet he can at least say that the scope feature is way easier to find and use than it could have been. There’s tons of shrines, it turns out—he can make out so many from up here, but most of them are well out of his reach, until he can get off of the plateau. It’s not even a full minute before he has the three shrines Inko had told him about marked down on his map, with glowing beacons that appear on the scope when he moves it over them.

One of them, he notes eagerly, is easily reachable, too; not far at all where it sits surrounded by ruins.

It’s just… he can’t help but despair, just a little, because now begins the process of climbing all the way back down. After the worst ascent of his life. Again.

[cryptozoologygirls]

Welp- here's a story that I don't tell a lot- but I still remember it very clearly....

I saw you guys asked for some submissions and I've thoroughly enjoyed your content so I thought I'd share something that happened to me when I was a teenager. 

I don't know if it qualifies as a cryptoid but- I thought you'd enjoy it. 

It is the reason I stopped sleeping normally:

___________________________________

You probably won't believe me. I don't blame anyone for not being able to. This type of thing isn't uncommon to hear but at the same time it's not something that's believable to most people. Sometimes I wonder if it was real myself. I want so hard to believe I was just tired or hallucinating- but I know what I saw and felt and what happened. 

It was so clear and burned into my brain that to deny it is even more unbelievable than the truth.

Let me explain something about myself first and foremost; I do NOT believe in ghosts or the dead coming back to raise any kinds of hell (so to speak). 

But I do believe in spiritual entities. I've had had some inexplicable things happen to me before- but nothing very unique to most "haunting" stories or something that someone [or even I] couldn't write off as a just a coincidence.

But this- this was different. 

When I was in high school I got my own room for the first time and boy did I love it. I loved having my own space, kicking others out, and above all- being able to sleep alone and how I wanted. 

For those who are younger siblings out there and also had to share rooms with the older ones, you probably know when it comes to things like sleeping arrangements; your older sibling has the final say in when it's lights out, if you sleep with a light or the tv on, or whatever. 

My older sister had a nasty habit of putting in a DVD before bed and falling asleep, leaving me awake to hear her horrible taste in movies the whole night and suffer from the bright light of our tv. And every time I'd try to turn it off she'd yell at me or put it back on herself. 

When I finally got my own room I decided that I would sleep in total silence and pitch black darkness. And I did happily for years. 

When I got my first laptop I still kept the tradition and closed my laptop every time i was ready for bed so I could sleep in the dark and silence. However, my laptop charger gave off a faint blue light that could actually be enough see a little if your eyes adjust to the dark, but that's it. 

Let me explain something else about myself: I used to frequently get pretty severe sleep paralysis. For those that don't know, sleep paralysis is when your body is asleep in all senses of the word, but your mind is more awake. You tend to feel warm and tingly and see and feel weird things. I usually felt warm, was very paralyzed, and felt the illusion that i was floating a bit above my bed even while stiff as a board. I also got me some pretty creepy hallucinations; one time I saw a man hanging upside down on my wall with blood smeared all around in some type of pentagram. But I've never been too freaked out by this. I'd do my best to scream or make a noise and that releases my paralysis and made the images disappear, then I'd just go back to sleep. I knew these images were just disturbing figments of my imagination and ,while creepy to look at, couldn't hurt me even if it tried.

I bring this up because I'm letting you know I did and still do suffer from it- though not as frequently now with my new sleep medication. But back then I had experiences at least once a week. I know what it feels like. 

And this was NOT a sleep paralysis episode. 

So one night I went to bed like I normally did, laptop closed and the light off,  and was sleeping- what I dreaming about I can't even remember, but then I suddenly just was awake. It was strange too, waking up the way I did. Normally I wake up feeling myself slowly come out of my sleepy state. I was a pretty groggy person when I would wake up. This time it felt like someone had reached in me and pulled me up to consciousness. I was very wide awake. I lifted my head and looked around, my room lit up softly by my charger's blue light. It was quiet and dark so I assumed it was still the middle of the night or very early in the morning. I laid back down to go back to sleep when it happened. 

It happened about eight years ago years ago- so I can't remember in exact detail when the thing first appeared. Though I don't think even right after the incident I could recall when or where it came from. It wasn't there one moment and the next it was. 

But everything else I can remember like it happened just yesterday.

What I remember most of all was being the most terrified I've ever been then or since. 

Above my head---something had appeared and descended down on me-

It was so very strange- it wasn't solid nor see through. It was there and it was not. It was like it was fading in and out of our reality from another one entirely. It was huge and black and gray. I wish I could describe it better- but it wasn't like anything I've ever seen before. It had a giant mouth opened like it was screaming at me or like it wanted nothing more than to take a big bite out of me or that it's teeth and jaws were too massive to close. It's monstrous demonic like face had another skeletal face within it. It clawed at the air around me, as if it wanted to shred me to bits with its giant skeleton like talons- but it just couldn't touch me for some reason. So it started slamming its hands on my bed. I remember getting tossed up and down and my bed springs squeaking from the abuse. My head snapping up and down as the motions rocked me. My neck was sore the next day. 

And the whole time I couldn't tear my eyes from the dark void of black where it's eyes should be. There was nothing there, but I never felt anything stare at me more harder, more predatory, and more furious.

I felt it wanted to hurt me, but it just couldn't actually touch me. It just hovered above me with its mouth open and slamming its giant hands on the bed by my sides. 

I should mention that from the very start, I was screaming. Loud and terrified. Since I'm the quietest in the family, when I shout, my family knows something's wrong. I could hear them at my door screaming my name and trying to get in my room to me.

I still don't know how I did this, but I pushed myself backward under the creature and off my bouncing bed, and stumbled to the door where I flicked the light switch on, flew the door open and jumped into my grandmother's arm, sobbing like a baby and barely able to speak. All I could do was point behind me and say,

"It's there."

She held me and pulled me to the living room to wrap me in a blanket and got me something warm to drink. I woke up the whole house.  My parents told me they would call my other grandparents and pray over my room, which I refused to go near.

I called my best friend to hear his voice, so maybe he could calm me down since I was still trembling.  After all I knew he'd be awake at 3, almost four in the morning since he barely slept at all. I must have still sounded terrified because as soon as I started talking to him,he offered to him to come over and did despite my initial refusal to his offer.

My grandparents and practically everyone I knew said prayers over my room and me and pretty much put the subject to rest.

And though it took me a while to feel safe in my own room I eventually moved back in and was there for a few more years (though now I started to share it with my younger sibling).

I don't like remembering what happened, I actually get a headache remembering the whole thing. 

And to be honest- I've never been the same since. I've developed insomnia and take medication to put me to sleep at night. Although I no longer sleep with the lights on (which took a few years) , I still sleep with a small light, bight enough to keep most of the darkness at bay with white noise so I'm not in silence.

As I finish this story, I know it sounds crazy. I practically feel crazy retelling it. But the memory is still solid. I remember everything that happened down to what I felt and what was going through my head at the time. It couldn't have been a dream or sleep paralysis or a hallucination. I can't move at all when I would have my sleep paralysis. Making noise always breaks the hallucinations, and they have never been able to move before. 

So It wasn't a dream.

And It wasn't sleep paralysis.

I have yet to find any kind of rational or logical explanation.

I might be able to lie to myself and accept it as maybe some kind of extremely strong and realistic vision or something if it were not for these key things: My bed, my solid you-have-to-really-push-to-move-it-from-being-wedged-between-my-shelf-and-drawers bed, was moved as if someone had been pushing on it just like that thing had.

And my door- I normally lock my door when I sleep because I can't stand being woken up. I can't remember whether I did or not that night. Considering my habits, I should've had it locked. 

But I do remember this: my door knob is the kind that stops the outside knob from moving, but the inside is free to do so, making very easy to lock yourself out. 

My grandmother closed the door behind me when she ushered me to the living room because the mere sight of my room was frightening me.

When she went to fetch a sweater and bra for me to wear when my best friend was coming, she didn't have any trouble getting in my room. 

So why couldn't my family get to me?

_____________

So that's the skinny of it. Not sure if it qualifies for a crytpoid. It's a lengthy story so you may not want to post it to your site and that's fine. Hope you enjoyed it. 

____

Holy shit, thank you for the submission, @reo-c-pelluna !! If it’s any consolation, I believe you. After seeing a UFO and some ghosts, I have no reason not to believe stuff like this anymore, and my god, how terrifying.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat, p8 reaction

It doesn't FEEL like it could already be time for the Masterpiece, but then, what else is there? Until now we've been switching back and forth between Earth C & John. Unless we now go see what post-retcon Terezi has been up to, I guess it might be time to witness the penultimate moment of Caliborn's ascension to Lord English, the last moment being when LE hatches from Doc Scratch.

---

"> JOHN: Zap to your final destination.

Where the hell are you?

DAVE: where the hell are we DAVE: i cant see shit"

Welp it's time for this?? ... Unless John misfired and they're in the Furthest Ring, I'd think that they'd find Caliborn in his station on LOCAM. ... I don't suppose there's going to be an actual stage like in the Vine videos. :P If that were so, it appears someone killed the lights, though.

Maybe something prevents them from actually going to Caliborn, like they're missing a crucial artifact and they wouldn't be able to escape from LOCAM with John's powers to return to the same moment with another retcon. We know the juju almost instantaneously can absorb them. ... It'd be something if the events of the Masterpiece somehow preordained them into doing something first.

"JADE: shhh!

It’s dark. Not like “someone turned out the lights out” dark. More like “someone destroyed the concept of light at its very source” dark." I suppose that, in Caliborn's art, it would be "vantablack" dark due to the absence of a light source he never bothered to draw, but I doubt they just zapped into one of his scribbles he made after John beat him up.

Also, it's a good Light wasn't capitalized in that description. Though, to think about it, Void would look enormously black, wouldn't it? ... Did John zap them into the Void somehow??? It IS the place where Caliborn's soul was stuck for a very long time, after all, but that is after the Masterpiece took place.

"It’s a darkness that fills up your skull. Jake puts this more eloquently, as always:

JAKE: By golly it is indeed dark as fuck." A+ observation, Jake.

"ROXY: shoosh!!!" That makes two of the girls shooshing them. ... For a minute there I thought they recognized this void, until I remembered it was Game Over Roxy and post-retcon Jade that ended up meeting Calliope's ghost.

"Jade breaks off from the group. She moves through the air gracefully, ears twitching as she sniffs through space like a bloodhound. “There!” she exclaims, and points down. All the way down." Being a bit destracted by unformatted sentences uttered by one of the main characters, I'll be honest. But yeah, I suppose the Space and Void player are most qualified to navigate this... realm. Caliborn's version of the Veil, maybe? Since it would appear they're not alone here, after all.

"All the way down beneath you there is a light source. Gray, focused—like a spotlight, except that it’s folded over the curvature of the space beneath it. At the center of it stands teenage Lord English, all decked out in his ostentatious god tier jammies." ... Ah. Not a stage in the literal sense, but Caliborn did prepare a grand scene for this faceoff, in that he literally prepared the shittiest scene imagineable: none at all.

"Gamzee’s there too, for some unfathomably stupid reason. There’s a robot bunny chilling out on top of a chest, lookin’ cool and kicking its cute little bunny legs back and forth." Welp, that sure are the beings present for the Masterpiece. That was the chest Caliborn kept the juju in, hoh boy.

"You hope that neither of these unexpected dramatis personae will play a role in the coming battle, because it wouldn’t feel right whaling on either of them at this point." Of course they're going to stay irrelevant, what are you saying? :B

"Lord English is holding something that looks like... Lil Cal? It’s definitely Lil Cal" So, uh, John recognizes the puppet then? ... Well, granted, he did see baby Dirk/Bro with it on the meteor, and during the ten years since someone must've described the thing to him at one point.

", and Lord English is definitely waltzing around with it in his little spotlight in the middle of the nowhere, swinging the puppet around by both its floppy arms. Well, rather, he was waltzing around. He stopped the moment you looked at him." ... Pffff he wasn't even expecting them right then? He was just playing pretend with Cal for who knows how long.

"> Behold your adversary.

JOHN: ... CALIBORN: ..." No. No, we're not doing this again, are we? The epic frown off.

"JOHN: ... CALIBORN: ... JOHN: ... CALIBORN: ... JOHN: ... CALIBORN: ... JOHN: ... CALIBORN: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

What. The fuck. ... Does... Does Caliborn not recognize John because he's an adult???? Or... I mean... Timelines... Okay, yeah, Blaperile reminded me about something.

Caliborn in the Masterpiece didn't seem to recognize John. So. That could mean that. This. Is. Pre-retcon Caliborn.

Fucking Hells. Even if they get sucked into the juju...

That means. Lord English is pre-retcon Caliborn. But post-retcon Caliborn might be a seperate entity. That means he's an unknown quantifier, but that would mean Paradox Space is seriously screwed, right? A Caliborn not destined to become Lord English would be free to do whatever he pleased with his Lord of Time powers, and then all bets are off. Even if his pre-retcon self became the bane of endless universes, he was still limited, sanctioned by Paradox Space.

FYI, with pre-retcon & post-retcon, here I meant that I think that, this Caliborn never had John zapping into his room. But, now that I think about it some more... He would still have recognized John and the others from the consoles. (Hmm, unless the consoles only showed Caliborn images from B2, but I didn't think that was the case.) Meanwhile, I don't think the ghost of the Caliborn that Alternate Calliope 'ate' would be dressed in god tier jammies and be chilling with Lil' Seb and Gamzee...

"You simply refuse to answer his question. Instead, you do something so much better. Something that will make both his inevitable fate and your regard for his character incontrovertibly clear." Is it a punch in the face? Tell me it's a punch in the face. If this Caliborn turns out to be blameless in the rise of Lord English, the second hand embarassment will be palpable.

"> Give him a thumbs-down." Ah. Beatdown, imminent. :P

"Lord English drops the puppet. For a moment he looks shocked, maybe even a little afraid, but it passes quickly. He starts laughing." Wow, okay. I didn't think I was ready to consider liking the idea of a version of Caliborn that is more jerk-with-low-self-esteem, but, here I'm getting there.

"JOHN: uh. CALIBORN: NEVERMIND. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE." ... Oh, then scratch everything I just said. :P Guess the dorky theatrics finally gave it away, huh? Well, granted, Caliborn is a self-professed slow learner and been shown to be slow in the uptake in some regards.

"CALIBORN: IT WAS FORETOLD. BY THE MASTERPIECE I MADE. WHEN I WAS BUT A BOY." With Caliborn, it's never clear if he's just boasting or being sincere. It might be that 7 years passed for him in his session too, but if he had been 13 at the time he could be 20. Then again, if he was 11... He'd still count as a teenager.

"JOHN: what? CALIBORN: BE QUIET. CALIBORN: I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU JUST INTERRUPTED A GROUNDBREAKING INTERPRETIVE ART PIECE. CALIBORN: IT WAS THE FIRST OF ITS KIND. PERFORMED ONLY ONCE. AND MADE MORE VALUABLE FOR ITS RARENESS. JOHN: wow. CALIBORN: I SAID SHUT UP. IT’S RUDE TO TALK THROUGH THE OVERTURE. CALIBORN: BUT DON’T WORRY. ALTHOUGH YOU MISSED MY VERY IMPORTANT DANCE DEMONSTRATION." ... Interpretive dance. His wickedness really knows no bounds!!! :mspa:

"CALIBORN: NOW YOU WILL PARTICIPATE IN SOMETHING EVEN MORE IMPORTANT." Welp. Caliborn has Fate on his side in this one. He knows what's coming! Guess we're left to see how straightforward everything will unfold now.

"The young Lord’s face begins to distort. The unhinging of his jaw reverberates in the empty space. He laughs through the remainder of his nefarious soliloquy, which he has possibly prepared in advance for this moment." I was thinking he'd start shooting lasers, but it would appear the rest of his 'soliloquy' may consist solely out of "HA. HA. HA." repeated ad nauseum.

"CALIBORN: BY NOW, SURELY MANY HAVE WITNESSED MY MASTERPIECE. CALIBORN: AS IT HAS CIRCULATED THROUGH THE BLACK VEINS. OF THE DARK WEB. CALIBORN: TRILLIONS HAVE WITNESSED ITS MAJESTY. HATERS AND FOOLS ALIKE." That might be a LITTLE bit overestimating it. :P Unless, of course, he's talking about all of the ghosts in the dreambubbles, rebubbling the memory ad infinitum. I'm reminded of Gamzee's rap, though, about the trillions being bled.

"CALIBORN: BUT NOW. THE TIME HAS COME. CALIBORN: FOR EVERYONE TO SHUT UP ABOUT HOW GREAT MY MASTERPIECE WAS. CALIBORN: AND THE TIME IS NOW AT HAND..." To see the truth or lack thereof in the masterpiece.

"CALIBORN: FOR YOU ALL TO *BECOME* MY MASTERPIECE!" ... Wow. Epic.

Okay, that was delivered perfectly.

If we weren't in the epilogues, I'd have expected an [S] page next.

Gotta say, for knowing how this will go in broad strokes, I'm glad at getting the finer details filled in.

So, Caliborn seemed to imply in his Masterpiece Jade still had her First Guardian powers. Guess this scene still takes place in the Green Sun's gaze then. I hope I'm forgiven for being confused. Post-canon takes place outside of it, but Caliborn's session was spawned in Universe C. So at some point, he fell back into the Green Sun's domain somehow. Maybe simply by Entering his session. He thusly entered canon, and gained quite a bit of relevance to Paradox Space.

"A young Lord stands on his stage. It just so happens that today, the thirteenth of April, 11111111111, is this boy's wriggling day. Though it was 18 sweeps ago he was given life, it is only today he will obtain ultimate power.

What will this young Lord do?"

[twitchesandstitches]

Lilisheb the Shoggirl

Basic Concept: A nice and sweet girl who happens to be a gigantic shoggoth-like creature; her alien appearance is comedically at odds with the unusual situations she finds herself in. And it’s funny for a Lovecraftian entity to be a bit of a wallflower!

Appearance: A massive lime-green woman with a vaguely humanoid body, her body composed of a constantly shifting amorphous mass; new features continually drift in and out of being, additional limbs are common. Overall she has a fairly solid, thick build, but she’s just slim enough to qualify as curvy instead. She’s not usually super busty by the standards of my characters, but she can be! Black veins streak across her body, especially wherever she is about to change form. All her body is extremely soft, but not to the point of being liquid. She’s still solid, just… extremely wobbly. She’s got a lot of subtle details of marine life in general: gills, the sheen of scales, and so on, but she appears to base her form specifically on turtles and octopi in general. She likes those.

Her face is mostly featureless; huge, plump lips, several sets of eyes in fairly random places, and a slight swell where humans would have a nose. She does have several thick tentacles where humans would have hair.

Below the waist, her body is a mass of tentacles, notably thicker than her upper body; she can grow any number of these, and her arms are a similar part of tentacles. She had pseudopods instead of fingers, with very dextrous cillae; she can grow fingers, but prefers not to. She has a very plump and shelf-tier backside, and takes some effort to keep it all big and round.

Due to her shapeshifting abilities, she can take on pretty much any shape she wants, though she cannot alter her species; she is obviously a shoggoth girl, in any form. She generally prefers not to deviate from this base form too much, but doesn’t mind adding extra features such as additional eyes, breasts (for multi boob elements), or limbs.

Backstory: She is OLD. Like, super old, really old. She was old long before humanity ever made their first tentative steps into space, and she may well have been alive since before our most distant ancestors had even begun to walk upright on the plains of Central Africa. Consequently, not a whole lot about her is clear, as her vast age leaves her earlier times obscured by the fog of ages, and she would indeed like to know more of what she has forgotten over the years. It is clear, though, that she is a fairly ordinary woman of possibly the eldest known species in the multiverse. She’s lived through at least four different collapses (societal, galactic and even truly cosmic levels) and in conjunction with the constant disasters she sees on an almost daily basis, she’s become something of a hyper anxious nervous wreck.

She is a member of her species commonly referred to as a brood queen; she reproduces asexually, gestating and producing hundreds of offspring that she can then implant in physically receptive mortals - and in turn give her offspring some of their traits and gradually help her own people adapt to changing circumstances - and her relationships with mortals can cause her to gestate entire new species from them. AS a consequence she’s always been rather sheltered and tends to be very codependent on those around her for emotional support.

In fairly recent years, she has done her best to assume ordinary jobs free from stress and Adventure. She does well as an archaeologist, not so much seeing it as uncovering mysteries as remembering things that modern folk have forgotten or laid aside, but unfortunately that does tend to involve a lot of adventure. Invariably, whether she is a cleaner or manager or professor of magic, she winds up entangled in stressful situations.

Personality: Most people, blessed with powers that make humans look like wimps and a natural form of immortality - or something close to it - would probably be a bit arrogant if they spend all their time around those doomed to die by the advance of time. Lilisheb is not one of those people; fundamentally sweet, kind-hearted and as inclined to nastiness as a lump of jelly, she is deeply loving and is a stable center despite being a primordial mass of shapeshifting immortal flesh.

She’s very anxious in pretty much any high-octane situation or what takes her out of a comfort zone… which is bad for her since most of the events I write her into are full of ADVENTURE. This all despite her being borderline indestructible. She does her best to stay calm, which usually lasts for all of a few seconds.

Outside of constantly panicking when villains attack, giant monsters start fighting or she gets pulled into a treasure hunt as a meat shield, she’s a friendly and kind entity, doing her best to put others at ease. She is very affectionate, and doesn’t have much interest in social norms. She shows her love the ways that feel right to her, even if this means sucking you right into her with an overly affectionate hug! Her basis deamonir is like a combo of bubbly and sedate, easygoing but very cheerful about it. Because her people tend to take a very long response to anything, she comes off as obnoxiously airheaded to her people. She does her duties calmly and without emotion, and often serves as a living couch to her smaller friends..

Species: Her people are commonly referred to as shoggoths, but their own word for themselves - roughly translated into one human language - can be rendered as ‘eldlimi’, or eldlimus in singular. They are unbelievably old, and hold a competitive place for ‘oldest beings in the known multiverse’ alongside the Transformers of Cybertron, the giants of the elemental planes, and various precursor societies. They have little common appearance, generally manifesting as a mass of amorphous flesh that is almost liquid in its flowy-ness. They can learn to assume whatever form suits them, though they are often inclined to use certain morphs as a default. Tentacles, multiple eyes, and aquatic traits dominate their instinctive forms, suggesting that their true origin is deep sea.

Certainly the eldlimi are very, very old and established, having stood as masters of the cosmos time and time again. They hold a position for establishing cosmic councils where all civilizations can meet together and peacefully negotiate for the future, and did so shortly after recovering from their most recent collapse. Due to their age, they tend to not take ordinary mortals too seriously, but at worst they tend to infantilizing others, rather than cruelty or oppression.

Fandom: Original. While heavily influenced by shoggoths from Lovecraft’s mythos, she bears little resemblance to either them or their outlook in a practical sense. She’s more or less her own thing.

Abilities: As typical with her people, she is a shapeshifter and can remold her amorphous body into nearly any shape. She can manifest a seemingly limitless number of limbs, eyes or even produces mouths or relevant organs from her body. (Multiple breasts, mouths of any shape or more delicate, unusual transformations are well within her power.) On the same note, she can alter her body to produce certain liquids or chemicals as she sees fit, assuming she knows what they are made of and the details of their production. She could make herself lactate enormous amounts of super-nutritious milk, for instance, but not super-flammable organic gasoline unless she worked out its chemical composition first.

She can grow smaller or larger, with no real limitation besides the mass she has available to work with, though she naturally gravitate towards larger, squishier forms. She can produce as many eyes or limbs as she requires, but leans towards tentacles rather than hands or feet. While she can force her insides into a rigid framework like a skeleton or even an exoskeleton for armor, she finds this deeply uncomfortable and prefers not to. She also cannot change her body’s consistency from its natural spongey nature, and thus she cannot disguise herself as a different species.

Her body’s amorphous nature grants her some other advantages. She can extend her jaws and swallow anything whole no matter the size, as long as she can wrap around it, and make her digestive acids extremely strong; she could even shift them around into her egg chambers, flushing them with regenerative liquids as an unbirthing method. She can push herself through most gaps and flow out like living water, and she is absurdly flexible thanks to her lack of an internal skeleton. Many attacks will simply pass through her if she remembers to decrease her solidity, and those that do hit her will likely be regenerated very quickly by her immortal flesh.

On a more prosaic note, while she claims to have no useful skills, her sheer age means she has picked up an extremely wide variety of skill sets. She has likely done every single conceivable non-violent career in existence, from plumber to manager to economics expert to caregiver… it goes on indefinitely, even if she can’t remember it or if they were so specific to a certain time’s technologies and social norms that they no longer have applicability. This gives her an enormous range in practical abilities, and incidentally makes her a fantastic teacher.

Height: Varies enormously; since she is a shapeshifter, she can be virtually any possible height if she has the mass to do it. She can’t just grow to whatever height she wants, as if she doesn’t have enough mass, she won’t be able to even stand up under her own power. She typically stabilized at around twelve feet or so, barring exceptionally large meals or unusual magical circumstances.

Relationships: She’s a friendly, sweet and gentle person somewhat prone to developing infatuations with people she has just met, so she has a LOT of friends and casual lovers, though it can be very hard to understand exactly what’s going on in her head. She is by far the single oldest of my OCs, even older than the likes of eons-ancient Jord, and tends to drift into the role of a den mother among her friends for that reason. She doesn’t have any established relationships as of this post, but some possibilities:

Sekhma - she thinks Miss Dionsi is cool, but way too serious! Relax a bit, no need to go all evangelical and stuff…. She may be one of Sekhma’s customers, seeking help for her chronic anxiety problems.

Pavumi - She has NO idea what Pavumi honestly is and that deeply worries her. She may be akin to her own people… or to their makers. This worries Lilisheb a lot, even though Miss Ekidna is a really nice lady!

Hivluk - what a handsome young man! She adores him, he’s just so sweet! For his part, he’s fine with her advances, as she is not even slightly scary.

Toast - she’s a xenophile sweetheart who wants everyone to be happy; he’s a loopy killing machine who wants to kill all humanity for what are probably imagined slights. They don’t get along at all for those reasons, but would probably be decent friends if that wasn’t an issue.

Odina: Besties!!! Both of them hate adventure, and would rather stay home and enjoy mundane, slice of life things. When together, Odina tends to be the more practical and sensible between the two, and gets sandwiched into her body a lot.

Pred Level: Moderate predator, with some prey levels. She is not primarily a predator-type, finding it horrifyingly cruel to swallow friends whole and hurt them no matter how hungry you are. Against threats, ordinary animals or genuine monsters, though, she has little problem simply swallowing them whole with as little interest as if she had finished off a fast food plate. It’s not her first course of action, though, and she is very reluctant to do this.

Prey Level: She’s likely vulnerable to more serious predatory specialists, due to her lack of combat skills and general timidity. Her prey levels are fairly high, owing to both the shape of her body and her trusting, timid personality. However, because of her regenerating flesh, its pretty much impossible to kill her through digestion alone; even one speck outside that gut will regenerate back to the true Lilisheb!

Relevant Kink Material: Xeno stuff in general; her shapeshifting powers offer many possibilities for Big Sexy Monster Girls. Her vast size, kindly demeanor and romantic inclinations are great sweetness material.

[jacksgreysays]

I tend primarily to feel the most like writing when I've just seen someone else write something (or when I've promised someone else I'd write, lol), and I've loved what you've done with the Sakako and Fear To Tread stuff, and you were the first person I thought of when I came up with this (in the next ask):

Peeling away from your flesh leaves a lot of detail behind. The shape of “You” isn’t the same as the shape of your body; the shape of you grows to fill whatever space it’s given. And when I step away from things, just for a bit, I feel bigger and bolder than I have ever grown inside. But I take the bags beneath my eyes with me, and the scar on my left arm (though I don’t take the arm to go with it). I take my aches and my pains with me; I only leave behind the things that aren’t me at all.

A/N: Not to curtail your prompt again, lionheadbookheads, but I’m getting very strong vibes of Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye as well as that one other time you sent me a prompt about the songs “It’s Thunder and It’s Lightning” and “Thunder” and I guess what I’m saying here is that I want to do a Tetsuki Kaiza piece for this prompt, I hope you don’t mind.

Basically, given the whole “who I am is not my physical body” theme, there is a very definitive spiritual over physical and reincarnation message going on here and Tetsuki does do that so… please enjoy?

—

Viridescent: Or, Tetsuki Follows Her Dreams

She closes her eyes, feels the sunshine warm on her face, and takes a deep breath; the spring breeze carries hints of winter still, cool and slightly damp, but the scent of early blooming flowers layers over that.

Her mobile phone buzzes in her pocket, a staccato vibration, a summoning. The man who pays her income but will never be her Boss, the man who supports her lifestyle but doesn’t provide her survival, the man who determines her waking and sleeping hours but never her thoughts or dreams.

She opens her eyes, raises a hand, and lifts a gun to her temple. Inelegant, but efficient. It reminds her of home.

She pulls the trigger.

She wakes up.

///

She is born in the late autumn months, as both year and century draw to an end. She is born to Fuyuko and Toichi Kaiza in a hospital technically but barely within Tokyo. She is born a wailing, red-faced, and thoroughly average baby girl.

What happens to her after is far from from average.

///

For all that dream-sharing is a largely international industry, it would inaccurate to say that it is one homogenous community. They do not always match official country borders, but there are enclaves within dream-sharing with its own customs and cultures and rules.

Japan is one such enclave.

For the most part, so long as there is no immediate conflict of interest, foreign dreamers may conduct their business without any interference from local entities. This rule is but the second that broadly reigns over the Japanese dream-sharing community.

The first is simply: do not mess with Azuma.

///

The thoroughly average baby girl that will one day be known in certain circles as Azuma does not have a good or even average childhood. She tries to run away from her parents at age six and manages to elude the very expensive private detective service her parents hired for two weeks before getting caught.

Despite the broken arm, it is not the last time she does this. It will be another eight years and twenty or so attempts before she manages to definitively escape her parents’ clutches and that perhaps has equal amount to do with them getting bored as it is with her expertise.

She is searching for people and places that don’t exist anywhere but her own mind, but at least it’s better than staying where she was.

///

Saito of Proclus Global has three executive assistants, all of whom speak a minimum of four languages, are qualified as triple-A certified bodyguards and emergency medical technicians, and have extensive counterintelligence training, among other varied and useful talents.

Though the woman known as Azuma can also be described as such and is frequently seen in proximity of Saito, she is not one of said executive assistants.

Her talents are a little more varied and useful than that.

///

The knowledge she has is helpful–blades and human vulnerabilities the same no matter what, languages and critical training filtering through as needed–but she remembers having powers beyond physical possibility and that’s what ultimately betrays her.

A teenager, no matter how skilled or smart or shrewd, will never be completely safe in the criminal underbelly of a big city. A lone teenager without any ties is a tempting target for many parties.

When they grab her, she fights. Foolishly, she thinks she can win. She forgets she doesn’t have endless lightning at her fingertips, energy bolstering her muscles, superhuman and unstoppable.

When they grab her, she loses. She is just a teenager, and they are a unscrupulous, government funded company trying to pioneer an entirely new method of espionage.

///

Azuma’s patron is a matter of public knowledge. It is not a weakness.

Most professional dreamers in Japan have a primary sponsor–another company, a yakuza family, a government official–and while Azuma’s patron does not have technically have the most influence in Japan, well… Proclus Global. Money is its own kind of power. And that’s not even including what Azuma can bring to the table.

Dreamers in Japan know better than to go after Azuma’s patron. Even non-native dreamers who have heard secondhand of Azuma know better than to attempt it.

Which is why, when Cobol Engineering tries to hire extractors to go after Saito, they are forced to outsource to an unhinged suspected murderer, his loyal point man, and a mediocre architect.

///

The early stages of Somnacin were riddled with problems. Unstable, inefficient, addictive–anything that could have gone wrong, did.

Her body hated every second of it, every drop that coursed through her veins. She spent the next few years in a constantly nauseated state of misery, sick and shaking, more asleep than awake and so terribly weak.

Physically, that is.

Mentally, everything she had lost was regained. The power that eluded her in the waking world flowed easily at her command, the dreamscape the most welcoming place she had been in years.

The other subjects washout–brains fried, suicide, crumbling under the pressure–but she remains. No, more than that, she thrives.

///

Azuma is not an extractor; she is not a point person or architect or chemist either. She can do all of those jobs, of course, but she thinks dividing roles that way is arbitrary and limiting. She is a professional dreamer, with all the responsibilities and capabilities involved.

Her outside reputation is as a forger, though that isn’t quite right either.

Even in dreams, no one can do what Azuma can.

///

Tetsuki is happiest when she dreams.

[transcriptroopers]

Introduction to Veteran Affairs

So the cool yet unnecessary thing about being a veteran is that the government feels really bad about being at war all the time, and instead of ending the wars they just put a little away toward caring for the veterans. The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, also known simply as the VA, is a federally funded government program that supports veterans through various programs.  Let me please clarify that “veteran” refers to any person who is or was once served in a branch of the armed forces, whether or not they were deployed, whether or not they served during wartime. Anyone who has been in the military is a veteran. Many people think that “veteran” only applies to old dude who were in Vietnam or something, including actual soldiers, and as a result many veterans mistakenly think they don't qualify for VA assistance.

When veterans leave the military, they're at extremely high risk for a variety of factors that can make it difficult, if not impossible, to assimilate back into the real world. Mental illness, physical disability, addiction/dependency, domestic abuse, and homelessness are a few of the overwhelmingly common issues among veterans. Unfortunately, the VA can only help veterans who reach out to them, meaning that untold numbers of veterans are suffering without help they completely qualify for. Assuming a veteran has either completed their contract or has at least twenty-four months of active duty or has at least 10% disability, they are entitled to a variety of VA services. These include housing assistance if their income is below a certain level, group counseling for substance abuse and domestic violence, individual therapy, and access to other programs, including healthcare.

With at least the first two points, (completed contract or at least twenty-four months) a veteran is eligible for VA healthcare, which may not completely cover all of their needs.

With the final point, a veteran is eligible for full VA health coverage, which includes access to specialty clinics. Veterans must apply for disability themselves by making appointments to submit paperwork/proof, testimonies, and receive physical exams to determine their disability. It’s a long process and it takes months, and if you’re denied you either have to start all over again or just accept that the military doesn’t consider you disabled.

Neither of the above points includes dentistry. The VA only covers dental for veterans who are at 100% disability, which is practically impossible to reach given the way the military calculates disability percentage which is kinda bullshit but whatever that's another rant for another day. Many cities don't have a local VA and must travel long distances to find assistance and treatment. The VA often offers compensation for this travel, but it requires filling out paperwork for each journey. They also offer shuttles sometimes, but that requires figuring out where the shuttle stop is and at what times the shuttle runs.  Medical appointments can be made by either using the my healthevet (pronounced either healthy-vet or health e-vet) website assuming you've made an account. Medical and other appointments can be made by calling the nearest VA facility, where you'll then be forced to go through a series of phone labyrinths until you either find the automatic option you're looking for or you finally figure out which command will take you to a person.   Appointments of most kinds, but especially healthcare, are notoriously spaced out. It's not uncommon to wait months to be seen for an issue as long as it's not considered life threatening. It's possible to enter a VA hospital for immediate treatment if needed, but unless your disability is at least 50% or higher you'll have to pay a copay.   Unfortunately, this does make it difficult for veterans who do need immediate help to find that help. I've had to go an hour away to a VA hospital before to refill meds because my local VA couldn't do it; I've waited two months for a mental health appointment during a critical time. And I can't exactly blame anyone in the VA either. The U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs is, as its title suggests, a federally maintained entity. If it's inefficient, ineffective, overwhelmed, underfunded, then it's not the VA's fault that it took me eight months to get seen for a specialist.

Naturally, doctors who work at the VA are often either veterans themselves, or are related to a veteran. As such this often leads to more conservative medical providers. There's been efforts to keep providers progressive on sexism, racism, and homophobia, but expect standard levels of transphobia and ableism (yes, somehow, despite the overwhelmingly ND veterans, but w/e). And probably some of the other stuff too. Social justice is not the VA’s strong suit.

As harsh as I feel I need to be to the VA, I really do owe the VA a lot. My providers haven't all been perfect; sometimes you get the one you thought you'd have maybe a forty-five minute appointment with but she somehow got it down to about eleven minutes in a whirlwind of info and then shooed you out and that's overworked at its finest. But they are often not only pleasant, but willing to really push to make sure you get the most out of your coverage. They also totally suck ass sometimes and I was about to go on a big rant about it, but you know what, nah, I'll save that for another time.

In my area, the VA only allows service dogs and does not allow emotional support animals. It does provide wheelchairs for patients who require them, and fittingly most parts of the building and its exterior are wheelchair friendly. While you can choose to check into an appointment at its info desk, my area has automatic kiosks where you can receive directions to an appointment or check into an appointment. Often, my primary care clinic won't check people in at the front desk and will order you to use the machine because they're swamped with people who need them for other things.

The VA is almost always packed, no matter what you need from them, so while you should expect being in the waiting room at least ten to fifteen minutes, you can also can expect to wait sometimes an hour or so, more if you need to use the pharmacy whose wait time might be an hour or more. I've been noticing some efforts to speed things up in my clinic, but you know, it's the military. We hurry up and we wait.

People visiting the VA need to have -Their VA ID, which is a photo ID provided by the VA to veterans who’ve signed up for VA health services. This isn't always strictly necessary but it's often asked for. -The following information, preferably memorized: Full name Birth date Current address Full social security number Full telephone number

VA policy usually requires you to confirm at least two, possibly all five of the above points. I'm most often asked for my full name and birthday, and sometimes my full name and social, and yes sometimes the whole shebang.

There is technically no penalty for missing an appointment, but due to the sheer volume of appointments the VA has, this is obviously not advised.

A veteran will typically have a primary care provider they only see once a year or as needed. The rest of the time they'll be dealing with nurses or their specialty doctor. While a veteran might use a given VA facility their entire life, the staff will come and go. The doctors especially rotate frequently.

My VA has a welcome desk run voluntarily by old veterans who aren't really VA but who give directions and offer coffee and doughnuts and the like. All throughout the VA it's not uncommon at all to find older veterans huddled up talking to each other; sometimes I wonder if they just go to the VA to hang out and talk to people.

Almost every military medical facility I've ever been in has the same problem: no phone service. Good luck with those three hours of waiting with no service.

My VA also has a sort of mini-library in its lobby where veterans can take and donate books to a bookshelf freely. It's almost always filled with paperbacks anywhere between ten to forty years old.

Anyway, I hope I've at least shed a little light on the Veterans Affairs office. As I said, I'd like to actually interview some people at my local VA to maybe see what they think about the place they work. Are there any specific people I should talk to first? Medical? Mental health? Substance abuse? Disability? Homelessness? There's plenty of choices; please feel free to pitch some ideas at me.  

-Kingsley

Was this post informative? Entertaining? Eye-opening? Then consider supporting SPC Kingsley on Patreon!

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How to Survive Moving with Your Removalist – Hiring Professional Movers

Removalists in Sydney – Hiring a Professional Moving Company To Ease the Stress!

Your move is approaching, and you have two options:

Call on your neighbours, family, and friends

Hire professional movers

In most cases, asking your loved ones to help with the move seems to be the easiest and most affordable solution. But in this case, you do not benefit from any insurance against possible breakage, damage, or accidents.

Your relatives may be willing to help you, but carrying furniture is far from easy. Especially when it is not your professional vocation. We will help you decide by presenting you with some of the reasons for hiring a removal professional company.

Avoid the stress that comes with the move

Stress is the first cause of the most dangerous diseases in the world. Did you know that a move is a real source of stress? Perhaps you are wondering if your move can be completed on time. After all, unexpected and unplanned things always happen and can make you dizzy. Indeed, this is what often causes anxiety and worry.

Put a stop to all forms of stress by hiring professional movers. You can be sure that your project to move will not cause you any trouble. The professional mover is prepared for any possible scenario. He knows better than you do how to deal with the unexpected. What is a stress for you is a routine for a moving expert.

A few tips to make your move easier – talk to professional movers

Professional movers can advise you on all aspects of your move. They will allow you to move faster and feel more reassured. This moving specialist will help you with the following issues in particular:

The equipment necessary for your move according to your furniture and the particularities of your living space

The accesses to your home to be privileged for the transport of furniture and boxes

The choice of grouped or individualized removal

Specific advice on the furniture to be moved

Procedures to follow in the event of an international move

Save your precious time

The current pace of life does not allow much time to do certain things. It takes time to:

Sort and classify objects

Put them in boxes

Transport them

Unpack them at the new location

All of this must be done:

Within a specific timeframe

With administrative procedures

With the possibility of losing or breaking objects along the way

The work involved in moving is a long process that requires time. The mover is there to give his availability to whoever needs it, whatever the destination.

Better management of your energy

To move, you must be physically strong. For some people, strength is a natural asset. But if you are thinking of moving on your own, know that the energy to be expended will be intense. Both physically and intellectually.

A move is above all about thinking about:

How to classify your furniture

How to carry all belongings

Which transportation method to choose

How much does it cost

The professional mover is specially trained for everything that a move requires. He has physical energy to spare. He has qualified knowledge and reliable means in connection with the move. He has everything that is ideal for a successful move.

Enjoy the professional expertise at your disposal

A professional removal company carries out moves all year round. This type of activity no longer holds any secrets for them. They help you move much faster and with less risk, whether you are a private individual or a commercial entity.

They move quickly while respecting safety instructions and are equipped to carry heavy loads. In addition, any damage to your furniture is covered by the insurance of the removal company.

Finally, they have all the necessary equipment to carry out the removal in the best conditions.

Secure your peace of mind with a warranty

The relationship between a mover and a private individual is governed by a contract. It is made up of three main elements:

Quote

Waybill

Statement of value

Removal companies are obliged to deliver the furniture within the time limit specified in the estimate. They must deliver it in the same condition as when they started their intervention.

Have access to proper moving equipment

To be able to move effectively, you must have the right equipment. Most of the time one relies solely on the willing arms of our loved ones. But this is not enough, because not everyone knows how to move extremely heavy boxes. It is not always practical or even possible to carry some equipment by hand. This is the case with furniture or large appliances. You might for example need to move a piano or a safe.

In addition to being sturdy, the professional mover has a wide range of tools that are adapted to your furniture. Those are essential for a move. He adjusts them according to your needs. These objects allow you to move your belongings in all safety. Among them are:

Furniture lifts

Dishwasher cases

Under-cover packing

There is no need to look for your brother’s friend who has a trucker’s license. Do not lose time comparing the rates of transport rental agencies. Forget about renting the moving truck. The professional has all the right skills and equipment to manage your move.

Get in touch with Reliable Sydney Removalists

Because the movers know what they are doing, your move will go faster and more efficiently. No need to ask for help from your relatives and friends. Reliable Sydney Removalists will take care of everything! Delegating this task will naturally be one less source of stress for you.

Our moving professionals have the right equipment to pack your belongings. They are used to transporting furniture and know when it is necessary to disassemble or not.

So, do not hesitate any longer! Call on your professional mover and make your life easier!

  The post How to Survive Moving with Your Removalist – Hiring Professional Movers appeared first on RS Removalists.

from RS Removalists https://reliablesydneyremovalists.com.au/professional-movers/

[kuwaiti-kid]

3 Things You Need to Do to Protect Your Side Hustles

Does it seem to you like everyone's talking about side hustles these days?

Side hustles 2020. How to make money in a side hustle. Side hustles you can do from home. These are some of the headlines I've seen.

We've jumped into the fray here at Your Money Geek the writing is about how to start a side hustle, the different types of side hustles, side hustles that generate passive income, and many other versions of the story.

I'm not suggesting that's a bad thing. Creating multiple streams of income from side hustles is the ticket to financial freedom for those willing to jump into the action.

What concerns me about the side hustle discussion is what's left out of it. I've not seen a single post about how to protect the income generated from the side hustle.

How does the IRS tax it?

How should I claim it? Should I set up a separate entity?

Do a sole proprietorship?

What are the liabilities associated with the side hustle?

Can I be sued? If so, how can I limit my liability?

In this post, we're going to dive into some of these questions. We'll offer some thoughts on how to keep more of what you earn through your side business.

What is a Side Hustle?

Let's start with a definition of what a side hustle is. For the record, I dislike the term side hustle. I'm not sure where it started. Perhaps it's been around for decades. I don't know.

To me, the term side hustle sounds a bit shady. When you think of a hustler, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? Is it someone who works hard and hustles to get ahead? Or does it represent someone a bit shady? You know, like, “that dude hustled me out of a hundred bucks.” For me, it's the ladder definition. Getting hustled is not something anyone wants to admit has happened to them. Perhaps I'm showing my age or my cynical side.

In its most basic form, it's any income produced outside of your regular job. It may be a part-time job. It may be owning rental properties. Maybe it means being an Uber driver or a Wall-Mart greeter. Whatever the means to produce additional income the popular (and accepted) term for it is the side hustle.

Even busy people get into side hustles.

Side Hustles 2020

As you might expect, side hustles come in many shapes and sizes. Below is a list of ten ideas that may offer some help if you're considering a side hustle. These are in no particular order, and there are dozens of others we could list.

Blogging – Probably the number one way that Millennials start their side businesses. With over 2,000 blogs on personal finance out there, you'll find course after course on how to make money blogging. Be careful. Blogging is hard. Making money at it is even harder. That doesn't stop bloggers from peddling their courses, eBooks, and such to generate some income.

Selling on eBay – Many people make decent money selling items on eBay. It takes some work, but those who stick with it make good money.

Driving for Uber –  If you own a car, you can make some extra money driving for Uber. Getting started is pretty straightforward. Like any side gig, there are pros and cons.

Airbnb – Do you own a home? If so, it's a potential asset to get some side income by renting it out via Airbnb. You can rent the entire house or a room — your choice.

Mystery shopping – Many companies will pay you to go into the store or shop online and share your experience.

Dog walking –  Pretty self-explanatory.

House-sitting –  Staying at someone's house while they travel. That can be a week's vacation, several months, or even longer.

Get a part-time job – Going old school here. Plain and simple, go find a part-time job doing something you like.

Passive income

Real estate – One of the more popular side hustles and one that's written about the most. Investors buy single-family homes or condos and rent them out to tenants. Another popular option is crowdfunded real estate. DiversyFund and Fundrise are two we've written about.

Dividend investing  – Another topic that's written about a lot is using high dividend-paying stocks to generate passive, tax-favored income. Qualified dividends have favorable tax rates from the IRS. A lot of blogs focus their writing on teaching people how to do invest in dividend-paying stocks.

Whether income is active or passive depends on many factors. My advice is to investigate those things very carefully before starting.

Side hustles 2020 –  Protecting Your Income

Alright. You've selected your side hustle, and you're generating some income. From what does that income need protected? For one thing, taxes. Another oft-overlooked risk is being sued. Making sure you understand how both of these things place risk on your income is essential before starting your side hustle.

We'll look at each one separately.

Taxes

The IRS taxes income. Period. Whether it's passive or active determines the tax rate. Here's how the income works in most cases. The entity from which the income comes issues a 1099 tax form to the recipient of that income. There are numerous types of 1099's issued depending on the source of the income. If the income comes from dividends, you'll receive a 1099-DIV. When the income is from interest income, you receive a 1099-INT. If it doesn't fall into any specific category, the catch-all form is the  1099-MISC. The majority of the income generated from side hustles comes in the form of a 1099-MISC.

In contrast, income from an employer comes in the form of a W2. What's the difference? A big one. In a W2 income, the employer withholds taxes from your paycheck and sends it to the IRS on your behalf. How much they withhold depends on your income.

In addition to Federal taxes, they withhold taxes for your state as well. Finally, there are FICA (Federal Insurance Contribution Act) taxes. That's tax withheld for Social Security and Medicare. In W2 income, employers withhold 6.20% of the first 132,900. The employer pays the other 6.20%. Additionally, there is a tax for Medicare. The Medicare tax has no upper-income limit. You will pay a tax of 1.45% of all income. Incomes over $200,000 ($250,000 if married) pay an additional 0.9% tax.

Self-Employment Tax

Guess who's responsible for these taxes if you get 1099 income? You guessed it, you are. It's critical to understand this when thinking about generating additional income. If you expect your total tax bill for 2019 to be over $1,000, the IRS requires you to pay estimated quarterly taxes.

FICA taxes are killer when self-employed. Remember, on W2 income, The employer withholds 6.20% and pays the other 6.20% of the FICA tax. They also withhold the Medicare tax. Total that up, and that's 15.3%! If you fail to pay your estimated taxes, the penalties and interest are killers.

Suffice it to say neglecting the taxes on side income can cost you a lot of money.

Liability

The second major issue that can derail your side hustles is getting sued. Liability can ruin your day in a hurry. Why would someone want to sue you? It doesn't take much. Here are some examples.

Let's say you own rental properties. You have a sidewalk in need of repair that you haven't gotten around to fixing. Someone comes to the house, trips on the raised concrete, and breaks their arm. Or worse. At the very least, you will be responsible for the medical bills for the individual. Assuming you have a decent homeowners insurance policy, you should be okay. Then an attorney from Dewey Cheatem and How finds the injured party. They convince them they should sue.

Rest assured, they want much more than your medical bills paid. They want damages over and above that. Homeowners policies have a maximum liability for these lawsuits. Being underinsured could be very costly. Almost any of the side hustles listed above come with liability.

Blogging risks

Blogging seems like a low-risk venture at first glance. For the most part, it is. In the personal finance space, it may not be. Why?

Most personal finance bloggers write about investing, saving money, spending, and other of these types of topics. Most of them give investment advice to their readers. The vast majority have no formal training in investment management, financial planning, or many other topics they write about. Most of them have a disclaimer saying they aren't giving investment or professional advice. Fair enough.

Let's say you have an article (one of the hundreds of them) about investing in the three-fund portfolio from Vanguard. You read that this is one of the most straightforward, least expensive portfolios that cover the entire market. For the most part, that's true. So you invest in the three fund cure-all portfolio during this one of the longest-running bull markets and go about your business. Then it happens. A 2008 type of financial crisis rears its ugly head again. This time it's worse. The U.S. and international stock markets drop more than 50%.

Hold on! No one told you about the risk? You thought this portfolio was the be all do all of investing. You feel cheated. Another partner from Dewey Cheatem and How calls you. He gets you fired up about the dereliction of duty of that untrained, opinionated, mouthy blogger who convinced you that portfolio was the best thing ever created. And now you've lost more than 50% of your money. Yes, you actually did lose that money because, in the heat of the crisis, you sold everything. YIKES! That's an attorney's dream scenario.

Far fetched? Maybe. Do you want to risk it? Probably not. There are ways to mitigate these risks.

Lowering Liability Risk

I'll give you three things to consider to help protect your side hustle income.

Pay attention to taxes – If you're a do it yourself tax person, be sure to dive into your software or the IRS website to understand how your side income will be taxed. It's best to do this BEFORE you start. Waiting until the year is over and taxes are due is not a good plan. You can manage taxes. But you have to understand how your income gets taxed to deal with it.

Choose the right business entity – Setting up your side business as a Limited Liability Corporation (LLC) can limit your personal liability. They're relatively inexpensive to start. An LLC shelters your personal assets from lawsuits. Though nothing is foolproof, this layer of protection makes it much harder. You can have a one-person LLC. No need to overcomplicate it.

Have adequate and the right kind of liability insurance  – Back to the rental property example, if someone gets hurt on one of your properties, having an umbrella liability policy provides an extra layer of financial protection. Umbrellas policies add additional insurance over and above the home owner's policy. They are usually relatively inexpensive and well worth the money. If you're a blogger, consider a business insurance policy that includes liability coverage. There is even coverage available specific to bloggers. Though relatively new, it speaks to the proliferation of bloggers and the potential liabilities they face.

Final thoughts

Does all of this talk about lawsuits, taxes, and liability make you want never to start a side hustle? It shouldn't. And I'll grant you that the examples I used would fall into the category of extreme. But isn't that always the case with lawsuits? Attorney's live for situations where they can set a precedent and get the big payout. 

The steps I've outlined here to protect yourself are pretty simple. An LLC is relatively inexpensive to start. Liability insurance is cheap too.

I'd say the biggest and most complicated issue to deal with for side hustles 2019 is taxes. It's essential to understand the type of income you will receive in your side business. Understanding and planning for that in advance will save you potentially big money and hassles in the future.

So, by all means, start your favorite side hustle. Find something you like and have at it. Throw caution to the wind to get it started. That is except when it comes to taxes. Protect yourself and your income from liability. Do the three things suggestion – pay attention to taxes, think about your business entity and get liability protection – and you'll be on your way.

Success is right around the corner.

The post 3 Things You Need to Do to Protect Your Side Hustles appeared first on Your Money Geek.

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[reliablesydneyremovalists]

How to Survive Moving with Your Removalist – Hiring Professional Movers

Removalists in Sydney – Hiring a Professional Moving Company To Ease the Stress!

Your move is approaching, and you have two options:

Call on your neighbours, family, and friends

Hire professional movers

In most cases, asking your loved ones to help with the move seems to be the easiest and most affordable solution. But in this case, you do not benefit from any insurance against possible breakage, damage, or accidents.

Your relatives may be willing to help you, but carrying furniture is far from easy. Especially when it is not your professional vocation. We will help you decide by presenting you with some of the reasons for hiring a removal professional company.

Avoid the stress that comes with the move

Stress is the first cause of the most dangerous diseases in the world. Did you know that a move is a real source of stress? Perhaps you are wondering if your move can be completed on time. After all, unexpected and unplanned things always happen and can make you dizzy. Indeed, this is what often causes anxiety and worry.

Put a stop to all forms of stress by hiring professional movers. You can be sure that your project to move will not cause you any trouble. The professional mover is prepared for any possible scenario. He knows better than you do how to deal with the unexpected. What is a stress for you is a routine for a moving expert.

A few tips to make your move easier – talk to professional movers

Professional movers can advise you on all aspects of your move. They will allow you to move faster and feel more reassured. This moving specialist will help you with the following issues in particular:

The equipment necessary for your move according to your furniture and the particularities of your living space

The accesses to your home to be privileged for the transport of furniture and boxes

The choice of grouped or individualized removal

Specific advice on the furniture to be moved

Procedures to follow in the event of an international move

Save your precious time

The current pace of life does not allow much time to do certain things. It takes time to:

Sort and classify objects

Put them in boxes

Transport them

Unpack them at the new location

All of this must be done:

Within a specific timeframe

With administrative procedures

With the possibility of losing or breaking objects along the way

The work involved in moving is a long process that requires time. The mover is there to give his availability to whoever needs it, whatever the destination.

Better management of your energy

To move, you must be physically strong. For some people, strength is a natural asset. But if you are thinking of moving on your own, know that the energy to be expended will be intense. Both physically and intellectually.

A move is above all about thinking about:

How to classify your furniture

How to carry all belongings

Which transportation method to choose

How much does it cost

The professional mover is specially trained for everything that a move requires. He has physical energy to spare. He has qualified knowledge and reliable means in connection with the move. He has everything that is ideal for a successful move.

Enjoy the professional expertise at your disposal

A professional removal company carries out moves all year round. This type of activity no longer holds any secrets for them. They help you move much faster and with less risk, whether you are a private individual or a commercial entity.

They move quickly while respecting safety instructions and are equipped to carry heavy loads. In addition, any damage to your furniture is covered by the insurance of the removal company.

Finally, they have all the necessary equipment to carry out the removal in the best conditions.

Secure your peace of mind with a warranty

The relationship between a mover and a private individual is governed by a contract. It is made up of three main elements:

Quote

Waybill

Statement of value

Removal companies are obliged to deliver the furniture within the time limit specified in the estimate. They must deliver it in the same condition as when they started their intervention.

Have access to proper moving equipment

To be able to move effectively, you must have the right equipment. Most of the time one relies solely on the willing arms of our loved ones. But this is not enough, because not everyone knows how to move extremely heavy boxes. It is not always practical or even possible to carry some equipment by hand. This is the case with furniture or large appliances. You might for example need to move a piano or a safe.

In addition to being sturdy, the professional mover has a wide range of tools that are adapted to your furniture. Those are essential for a move. He adjusts them according to your needs. These objects allow you to move your belongings in all safety. Among them are:

Furniture lifts

Dishwasher cases

Under-cover packing

There is no need to look for your brother’s friend who has a trucker’s license. Do not lose time comparing the rates of transport rental agencies. Forget about renting the moving truck. The professional has all the right skills and equipment to manage your move.

Get in touch with Reliable Sydney Removalists

Because the movers know what they are doing, your move will go faster and more efficiently. No need to ask for help from your relatives and friends. Reliable Sydney Removalists will take care of everything! Delegating this task will naturally be one less source of stress for you.

Our moving professionals have the right equipment to pack your belongings. They are used to transporting furniture and know when it is necessary to disassemble or not.

So, do not hesitate any longer! Call on your professional mover and make your life easier!

  The post How to Survive Moving with Your Removalist – Hiring Professional Movers appeared first on RS Removalists.

source https://reliablesydneyremovalists.com.au/professional-movers/